#//pin of dms shame on myself

[simiansmoke]

"-the age old question I never thought I needed to know and still don't-...pre-game with hot sauce flavored lube, or just hot sauce?"

-dk making very regrettable life choices.

[much-ado-about-whumping]

Help for when you’re having a rough time

(If you're looking for my old pinned post with my whump masterlists, you can find it here.)

In light of some deeply sad news in the whump community today, I’m thinking about how many of us here struggle with mental health, sometimes including physical or mental self-harm and suicidality. Since I know lots of folks might be having a hard time right now, I wanted to share some resources that have helped me in rough moments. Please feel free to add on to this post (or make your own, if you want!) with the resources that have worked for you. 

First, a note:

Trauma, shame, and suicidality all tend to isolate - they make us feel like we’re all alone in the world, like no one else would understand us, and like the only solutions we have available to us are ones we can think of all by ourselves. In my experience, the antidote to that is connection. If you’re feeling scared or alone, you can hop into my asks or DMs if you want. I’m sure there are other folks in this community who would offer that, too. Many of us have grappled with mental health struggles, including suicidal ideation, and sometimes we can offer each other the care that can be hard to offer ourselves. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need support.

A quick note about location: I live in the US, but about half the resources in this post are written guides you can access from anywhere. The hotlines and warmlines linked below are US-based. One or two are accessible in Canada or have an online chat or moderated forum that could be accessed anywhere. If you have good local resources from another place, please reblog and add them! (Thank you, @straight-to-the-pain, for flagging this in the notes!)

That said, here’s my absolute first recommendation if you’re feeling generally awful and don’t know what to do:

1. You Feel Like Shit (also available at its original site here)

If you’ve read a lot of ~self care tips~ in your life (and if you’re a bit of a salty bitch like me), you might be sick of being told to eat something and take a nap. (I don’t think we can hydrate our way out of long-term trauma and late-stage capitalistic hell, but thanks.) That said, I’ve found this site REALLY helpful. Personally, I have ADHD and CPTSD, a combination that makes it ROUGH for me to know how to take care of myself sometimes. This site speaks to you calmly, like a non-judgemental friend, and walks you through steps that you might struggle with if you have a hard time with executive function in general, or if you’re ill, grieving, overwhelmed, or otherwise just off your game. I pretty much always walk away feeling at least a little better, even if I don’t complete every step.

There are more suggestions and resources below the cut. Wishing everyone in this community love and care. <3

2. The 15-Minute Rule (info available in many places; after a quick google, I really like this site as a place to start)

One key principle to understanding the resources I’ve put together here is the 15-minute rule. If you’re feeling an urge towards physical or mental self-harm or suicide, studies show that the urge is unlikely to last more than about 15 minutes at its peak intensity. (Sorry I don’t have data on this off the bat - anecdotally, I can tell you that this rule also tracks with my own personal experience.) This means that, if you’re presently feeling overwhelmed by grief or pain that’s turning inwards on you, if you can stay afloat through the next few minutes, the tide of it is likely to ebb. The site I linked above has information about this concept and some great harm-reduction ideas, too. (Another resource on this that I liked in my quick search is here.)

3. Read This First (a compassionate distraction from feelings of self-harm)

I’m gonna be honest; this resource is aimed at folks having urges towards physical self-harm, but it looks like something I would find helpful with urges towards emotional self-harm, too. (It also looks like it could be handy for body-focused repetitive behaviors - BFRBs - like dermatillomania/skin-picking or trichotillomania/hair-pulling).

4. Resources from Pete Walker, psychotherapist and author of Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Obviously not everyone reading this will have complex PTSD (also called C-PTSD), but if you’re a person who, in general, tends to beat yourself up a lot, I’d highly recommend checking Pete Walker’s work out. If some of it doesn’t apply to you, that’s okay - take what you need, and leave the rest. This site (and the book it references most heavily) assumes you may have had parents who were emotionally or physically abusive or neglectful. If that doesn’t ring true for you, but other parts of the resources seem helpful, use them anyway! A handy place to start maybe this page on Shrinking the Inner Critic in Complex PTSD (that is, reducing the volume of the voice that screeches unpleasantness at you when you feel ashamed or scared).

As a note: this website looks VERY mid-2000s (which I kind of love). Most of the resources you want will be in the right-hand column full of links. Some of those links will open new pages, and some will automatically try to download a PDF of the article you want to read. 

5. Warmlines:

This is something I just learned today - if you’re feeling really lonely and sad, but you’re not in immediate crisis, there are warmlines you can contact! These seem to be numbers where you can call (or sometimes text) to talk with a counselor or trained peer when you need support and connection. I can’t vouch for any of these numbers personally, but as someone who has definitely thought, “It’s not bad enough to REALLY need help,” I think this is a fabulous idea. Here’s a list of warmlines you can check out in the US.

6. Specialized hotlines: 

There are lots of good crisis hotlines out there, but some may be better for your needs than others. For one thing, if you’re feeling seriously suicidal, it’s good to know the policies of the hotline you’re calling. In my opinion, everyone deserves bodily autonomy and the right to refuse care; for that reason, I think it’s important to know the policy of the hotline you’re calling as to whether or not they’ll call emergency services without your consent. Everyone has to make their own judgment call on this one, and I’m a little too (lightly!) triggered to go deep into my analysis on this right now, but I wanted to flag that it’s something to be aware of - if you’re going to call a hotline, you can try to look up their policy on calling emergency services before you contact them. You could probably even ask them in the beginning of the call. (A script: “Before we start, can you tell me what your policy is about contacting emergency services on behalf of callers?” If this is true, you can add: “I’m having some feelings of [suicidality/self-harm], but I’m safe and am not in danger of hurting myself or others.”)

With that in mind, here are some hotlines that seem promising to me, in no particular order:

A. For queer and trans folks in general:

Trans LifeLine

Available in the US (1-877-565-8860) and Canada (1-877-330-6366)

Available in English and Spanish

Will NOT call emergency services without your consent (you can read more about this policy on their website, including here)

Peer to peer support for transgender and questioning folks; also, microgrants (small amounts of money) for trans-related needs!

Does not offer text/chat-based support

I’ve never used Trans LifeLine myself, but I’ve heard excellent things about it from peers who have.

The Trevor Project:

Support from trained counselors for queer, trans, and questioning folks

Definitely available in the US; I’m not sure where else.

Offers support via phone (1-866-488-7386), text message (678-678), and online chat (link here - scroll down to Start Chat)

Also offers an online peer support space, TrevorSpace, for folks ages 13-24

Their site says, “In very specific instances of abuse or a clear concern of an in-progress or imminent suicide, Trevor counselors may need to contact a child welfare agency or emergency service.” When you click Learn More, it takes you to their Terms of Service (informative, but in legalese that might be hard to parse if you’re in crisis).

Again, not a service I’ve used myself, but I’ve heard good things!

B. For BIPOC folks (Black folks, Indigenous folks, and people of color more broadly), especially those who also hold LQBTQI identities:

Call Blackline:

Available via phone or text (both at 1-800-604-5841)

Available for people in crisis. Call Blackline can also help connect you with local community organizers and officials if you need to report a negative, inappropriate, or physical interaction with police, other law enforcement, or vigilantes.

From their website:

Call BlackLine® provides a space for peer support, counseling, reporting of mistreatment, witnessing and affirming the lived experiences for folxs who are most impacted by systematic oppression with an LGBTQ+ Black Femme Lens.Call BlackLine® prioritizes BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color). By us for us.

Here’s what I found regarding their policy on emergency services:

You do not have to provide any personal information to use the service. All calls remain private and will never be shared with law enforcement or state agencies of any kind.

Of course, a BIPOC person can contact any hotline for support, but for people dealing with racism, anti-Blackness, and other specific bigotries, I can very much see the importance of talking to someone who shares or understands that experience.

C. For folks processing bad psychedelic trips:

Fireside Project:

This one is something I didn’t even know existed! They do call- or text-based support (1-623-473-7433, or 1-62-FIRESIDE) for people processing psychedelic drug experiences, available 11am to 11pm Pacific time. I don’t have a ton more info, but their site seems really interesting and like they’re serving a unique need.

7. A soothing distraction:

One of the glories of the internet is the fact that it enables us to conjure up images of kittens at a moment’s notice. In that vein, I want to offer up a VERY cute distraction: Peptoc is a hotline (1-707-873-7862, or 1-707-8PEPTOC) where you can hear encouraging messages in English or Spanish from kindergarteners. How sweet is that? (Thanks to the wonderful @newbornwhumperfly for this suggestion!)

--------

Beloved whump community, I want to know about things that help you when you’re struggling. Please feel free to share them if you want.

And, Moya - we’ll miss you so, so much, even those of us (like me) who didn’t know you well. May your memory be an absolute blessing. <3

(I was going to put this in the tags, but oops, it’s going up here - I really hope this post will be helpful to someone, but it was also helpful to me to build. I feel better in a crisis when I can find a way to help - it’s how I soothe myself when I’m sad or scared. I really hope this doesn’t seem preachy or self-aggrandizing - it’s really just me processing-processing-processing. <3)

One more note: if this post makes you think you might want to follow my blog, you're totally welcome, but you should check out my note here first. This is not a DNI list; it's just a heads-up about my content, which could be inappropriate or triggering for some people.

[doing-swell]

hello, my name's swellie 💖✨🌈 aka: new pinned post! new pinned post! read all abt it!

welcome to my blog! I started on here almost exactly a year ago, and since then I've learned not only so much about my pregnancy kink, but also about myself. being here has been formative for my kink exploration journey, and it's helped me deconstruct years of catholic school girl trauma (s/o to catholic guilt!).

This is a pregnancy and birth fetish vlog. This is an 18+ only environment. DO NOT INTERACT IF 18 OR YOUNGER. I am a 27 year old white cis woman with brown hair. I identify as a neurodivergent bisexual woman on the ace-spectrum. I live in the US - New England specifically!

I've had a pregnancy kink since I was a kid. I even got in trouble for google image searching "pregnat" on my childhood computer lol (it was 2006 folks, what else was i supposed to do?) I created this blog to share the beautiful side of this kink. I hope you enjoy! <3

Keep reading below!

As a queer person I will absolutely not condone any form of homophobia, transphobia, racism, misogyny, etc etc. I am an open and tolerant person, and please do not try to take advantage of me because of this. I mostly only follow back people whose content I enjoy seeing.

When I interact with kink content here, I mostly imagine myself as the pregnant carrier. I mostly get off to picturing myself in some sort of pain (i.e. labor) or I like to picture myself with a pregnant person.

Things I really enjoy:

Wearing a fake pregnant belly

Pregnant bellies (specifically, large pregnant bellies, smaller bellies, those with stretch marks, red bellies, moving bellies)

Breeding <3

Impregnation <3

Poking pregnant bellies, rubbing them etc

Stirrups, medical torture stuff, etc (FANTASY ONLY. I CANNOT REPEAT THAT ENOUGH. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU FEEL OTHERWISE)

Birth, birth denial, labor and contractions

Pregnant lesbians (because duh,,, I’m fucking gay)

Historical pregnancies or pregnancies set in the past

Clothes not being able to fit/spilling out of old clothes

Giant swollen boobs (especially with veins 🙈)

Giant bellies in laps <3

Waddling and being out of breathe, struggling to sit up, contractions, unable to get up from sitting, etc

Curves🤤🤤

I’m not into:

Anime/ drawings

Monster fucking, slime, pups/litter talk, etc

Mpreg

Beastiality, aliens, monsters, anything sci fi

Eggs or pushing out objects

Feederism, feedies, or stuffing (in very very specific circumstances I tolerate this)

Anything to do with fatphobia or shaming folks for their size/weight

Swollen feet

It gets weird when it gets misogonistic in a "I would actually vote to overturn roe v wade if I had the chance" kind of thing -- if it's fantasy/pure imagination, I'm all ears. But when I think you would actually hate crime me IRL..... that's when I [not-so] politely decline ❤️🫶🏻

Other disclaimers:

I am in a relationship right now and she knows about this blog and my kink. She is so supportive and I love her very much. We are very open to exploring ourselves sexually, but never, and I mean never, would I risk my relationship because of something on here. If you cross a line, I will immediately tell you. Please do not assume I want to fuck you or be in a relationship with you in real life, this is purely for kink purposes. I think of you as my friends! If I talk to you, or respond to your DM's or like your content occasionally, that means I'm grateful to have you in my life and you make my life better by being in it. Xoxo, thank you for understanding!

Please send me asks, tell me about your fantasies, ask me questions about my fetish. I want to learn more about you as well! I’m an open book when it comes to most things, I promise I won’t judge you 🙈

I don’t want to tell you my real name, where I live, or anything about me in real life. You won’t ever see my face. It’s what I’m comfortable with, full stop. If you do get my name or anything from me, it’s for you only. Do not share that without my consent. For purposes of this blog, you can call me Swellie 🤪

I love interacting with mutuals through tags and captions 💋 it’s my way of flirting and will swoon if you do the same

Happy swelling, babies 🫡

[eliotlime]

End of October Update

There's got to be a less clunky way for me to title these things but maybe I'll figure it out after a few posts.

Anyway at the top of the order I want to say that uh... the Abacelsus zine is not happening by halloween unforch.. I just started school part-time and it being part-time is still kicking my ass! So tentative release date will be on 11th November unless something else happens....

On the plus side I'm done with the cover so all that's left is the back page and cramming all 24 pages full of drawings 👍

-> As I've said at the end of my previous post I want to make more blog style posts so here's me trying to do that, more under the cut

🔐Abacelsus Zine

I'm still deciding on whether i want to print it A5 or B5 but I'm leaning towards A5, though for the digital release it doesn't really matter lol

As mentioned, I'm done with the main cover so I just need to fill this entire thing with stuff, I said 24 pages but really the total page count is 30. I'm just not counting the cover and the blurb stuff.

I'm half taking a break with this at the risk of burning myself out and half paralysed with starting it. Plus I've kind of been more into Axl & I-no hilariously but I'll always love A.B.A. I think the lack of any real info really lends her well to interpretation which is always fun.

I've never really been one to engage in fandom so I'm probably going to be doing my own thing. That being said if anyone has any suggestions feel free to drop them in my strawpage or ask box :)

🥤 Strawpage & General Socials

The bugs make my pages so decorative, I gotta draw more bugstyle guys.

Speaking of strawpage, I made one of those! It was really fun, I have a short OC info tab with descriptions of some of my main guys. I'd love for you to check it out.

This kind of acts as my ask box for twitter since there's not one there and apparently it's basically my main social media site these days so I'm just mirroring my experience here over there too.

Hilarious timing considering that it's basically collapsing on itself once again, I'll probably still be on that damn site until it implodes but I also have a Bluesky account for those that care about it.

The sky follower bridge extension is really useful for bulk following people from twitter to bsky

I'd love to post there more but there's not a queue function and that's very important to me as someone who is not American and lazy to remember optimal timings.

Did you see? I also have a new pinned for this blog! Wanted to make a new one for a while now, always thought the old one was so freaking long. All the old info is still on my about and faq page though I don't know who actually looks at those.. a relic from years past..

☹ School

Sigh, like I mentioned earlier I'm doing school again! At my big age, but I'm having fun so far! It's part-time but it's still kicking my fucking ass! It's the main reason why I'm a little disoriented this month honestly.

Do you like it? I spent an entire Sunday making my class miro board look niceys and then proceeded to get nauseous from cybersickness afterwards LOL

I'm doing a UI/UX course and I have to say the funnest part about it is making personas, it's like making OCs. Don't particularly like writing though.. but also that's a lie considering the numerous amount of paragraphs in this blog post alone haha

🎁 Merch

I've also gotten confirmation that I'll be boothing again next year in Febuary! So I gotta start locking into making more stickers and general merch. I say this a lot but I do need to look into opening an online store because I just have tonnes of stickers and stuff lying around waiting till the next time I do a convention which is kind of a shame.

Oh, but I will say that if you are from Singapore and would like anything from my previous convention catalogue feel free to shoot me a DM on instagram and I can mail it to you locally, shipping's $2 SGD.

➰Closing Thoughts

All in all, been kind of busy this month with school and various loose threads from September but overall I think I'm doing better! I've also been cooking lately and truthfully that's my biggest achievement this month haha, been also getting really into canned fish. Yummy!

Oh and a last thing is that I've been itching to animate again so I'll end this post with a WIP of a gif I did last night/morning. I almost always never finish my animations but here's hoping this one actually makes it to the colouring stage haha

No prizes to anyone who can guess who these two because of course.

Thank you for reading! I know I can't expect everything to be done in a single month but I just wish I could do everything without getting tired or cybersick! If you'd like to support me, here's my ko-fi page and my itchi.io & gumroad as well.

If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be sent towards my email as well: eliotlime@gmail.com

XOXO, Stay weird!

-Eliot :)

[a-witches-riddle]

✨✨Pinned Post✨✨

Uhhh looks like I’ve been getting lotsa followers lately so here’s a pinned post about me I guess!!

Hiya! I’m Bree! I’m a trans poly-pan wolfgirl that hangs out on the internet doin gay stuff! My blog is primarily a random/personal blog, with no real theme other than my love for women and being transfem :3

Here’s a lil’ bit of personal info for y’all to get to know who I am a bit better!

I’m a trans woman! I found out who I was in 2017, and through a slow and gradual process I eventually socially transitioned. I’ve been on hormones for over a year now, too!

I’ve been a lot happier since I’ve been on hormones, and it’s drastically improved my mental state. I finally feel good in my body.

Despite my general affinity and attraction to women, I am pansexual, which means yes, I find just about any one of any gender attractive, I just have a preference towards women.

I have a partner that I love dearly and more than anything in the world. We have a very special and unique bond together that can’t quite be explained or rivaled, and we’re happy together 🖤💜🐺🦇

I consider myself a “Furry Lite”™️. I don’t really have a fursona or anything, but I very much identify with wolves and consider myself a puppygirl, with all the works. Yes, I will bark and whine for headpaps :3

Also I guess I’m a raccoongirl now?? Thank you @pan-tran-dndfan for convincing me of this, and now we are kit bffs >:3 🦝🤜🤛🦊(the lack or a raccoon head emoji is criminal but i also like the lil guy there, they’re so me frfr)

I don’t really have that much shame about my kinks. This is an 18+ blog so obviously expect adult content.

I have a few hobbies, including playin vidya games. I play a lotta random things, but one of my favorites is Cyberpunk 2077. I also tend to play a lot of survival horror and just survival games in general. Big Resident Evil nerd and Project Zomboid enjoyer. Also very into Fnaf and Cod zombies lore… don’t ask because I will loredump.

I’m not the biggest into movies or tv, but I’ve seen my fair share of the popular stuff. I’m a big horror movie junkie, Saw being one of my brainrots. I also am absolutely obsessed with Arcane, which swiftly became one of my favorite shows of all time

I have a few genres of music I’m in love with. I grew up listening to rock/metal and it stuck ever since. Huge A7X fan (minus their nft shilling :/), and Halestorm enjoyer. I also am in love with grunge, Chris Cornell (rip) and Eddie Vedder you have my heart.

I also love making OC’s! I’ve been writing since I was like, 8 years old, and making characters has always been a passion of mine. Lilith and Tara are my main OC’s, and my writing has been fairly private. Not sure if I want to share any of my writing publicly or not, but who knows! Maybe one day I’ll muster up the courage for it.

I’m not really public in general on most platforms; tumblr really is the main place that I’m at all active save discord. Not necessarily an active choice I make but a situation that happened more out of circumstance.

uhhhh i think that’s it! I hope y’all like my blog of random gayness and silliness! My dm’s are always open if you have a question or just wanna chat! Love y’all 💙🏳️‍⚧️

[yesmissnyx]

Hi, I hope it's okay to DM. I'm looking for advice while getting into the kink lifestyle/self-realization.

I'm struggling to deal with internalized shame. It's the same old struggle, I'm guessing.

Figured out I'm bi and very, very kinky late last year, kind of all at once. Suddenly liking guys as well was easier to deal with. Realizing I'm into BDSM, hypno, crossdressing, and most of the kinks on your pinned list was... hard.

Some days, I can fully feel okay, and others I feel smothered in shame and depression, like I'm not supposed to want these things. I feel like I'm intruding into a space that I don't have the right to be in.

My question is, how do you recommend new kinksters/subs/etc deal with the question and internalized shame. Or specifically feeling positive about their kinks and the changes that happen as you realize them.

Sorry for a bit of a rant, and thanks in advance if you're willing to give me some advice.

Hey there! Sorry for the SUPER late advice! I hope you're feeling better in the meantime, but if not, I can do my best to offer you 1. some advice and 2. some words of encouragement.

First of all, HELL YEAH. Welcome to the Bisexual Kinkster Club--a club you now belong to because you are kinky and bisexual! Kink rocks! Being bisexual rocks! I am giving you a welcome basket myself.

(The lube tastes like strawberries.)

That being said though, I'm so sorry you're dealing with internalized shame around all of this :( Shame is a very personal thing and can be tricky to deal with, ESPECIALLY when parts of society are telling you the thing you like is wrong, just because they find it disgusting.

But...first of all, disgust-based morality ain't it, chief. It's a one-way ticket to being a miserable, hateful person with Main Character Syndrome and an easy target for fascism. Don't give into it! Don't listen to people who value their own disgust above the needs and happiness of others!

As long as what you are doing is not infringing on the personal rights of others, you deserve to do the things that make you happy. Full fucking stop. (And, newsflash, doing something that just happens to disgust someone is NOT infringing on their personal rights.)

Now, this might be controversial, but I'm going to let you in on a big realization that I had some time in my early 20s: shame is, in my humble opinion, a useless emotion to feel for any duration of time.

It makes you do things you don't want to do. It keeps you from doing things you DO want to do. It lies to you. It eats you alive.

More importantly, though, it's JUST an emotion, and like all emotions, its only job is to try to tell you something. Feeling emotions doesn't make you a good OR a bad person!

Of course, I'm not just telling you "lol just stop feeling things" because that's, like...not possible or healthy. BUT! You are not obligated to feel any emotion that you don't want to feel.

You might, however, want to interrogate the shame, because even if you aren't going to listen to its wishes (right???), it's worth understanding what it's trying to tell you.

So! What is the shame afraid of? What does it want to protect you from? What does it want you to do? Is what it wants you to do in line with your own goals and desires?

If you aren't in alignment with your shame, which I assume you aren't, then you can tell it that.

"I appreciate that you're trying to keep me safe, but I have no reason to be ashamed of the things I like, and I'm not going to let you stop me from enjoying them."

This might sound silly, but once you can speak frankly with your difficult emotions, it gets WAY easier to work through them. Viewing them as parts of yourself that just want to keep you safe is way easier than just dealing with nebulous shame, anger, anxiety, etc.!

And then, there's also the chance that it might be telling you something useful, once you start asking questions.

For example, if the shame is afraid that your friends might judge you, maybe you need to rethink how you navigate your friendships. If it's worried you might be going about a kink all wrong and you'll make a fool of yourself, do some research. If you're overwhelmed by the intensity of a new kink, explore it at your own pace and listen to your feelings about it with curiosity instead of judgment.

Remember: Action TOWARD a goal (in this case, pleasure and fulfillment) is always preferable to an action that AVOIDS negative feelings.

Enthusiasm and self-love are a better motivator than fear and shame. You deserve to be the best, happiest, more joyful version of yourself, and if that includes being a kinky crossdressing hypnotized bisexual, then so be it :)

Hopefully this all makes sense! And hopefully this helps you and others who might be in a similar boat.

Good luck on your journey and happy pride 🌈🏳‍🌈

(Also, please know that I'm always open to give advice. Ask me things. Let me live my know-it-all dreams 😜)

[laudthingcat]

A SFW & NSFW OPEN COLLAB!

hi everyone! I decided to host a collab as celebration for hitting another massive milestone since the last time i celebrated one was all the way back in 2021 when i hit 1k followers! (million thanks and kisses to everyone who followed me and enjoys my writing!)

the theme of this collab is losing a bet. What does that mean? Whatever you want as long as someone loses a bet! Did you make a bet with Gojo which you lost and now you have to be his personal assistant for a whole week? Or maybe Leon lost a bet and now has to make you cum using his fingers only! The possibilities are endless!

GUIDELINE

you can write for: any character from any fandom you want, be it an anime, manga exclusive or videogame character!

for the nsfw works, the characters must be canonically 18+ or aged up to 18+

in order to participate, you must be 18+ with an age indicator in your bio or a pinned post

dark content is accepted as long as the work is tagged properly and the content is placed under the 'read more' option

to join, send me an ask for the character and fandom you’ll be writing for

the same character can be picked as many times as needed since i am sure the stories are going to be unique even so

the collab is open for art entries too!

any format and any length is accepted

when you post your work, please tag me or send me a dm so i can link it to the masterlist!

there is no due date for this collab so the entries can be sent whenever you are ready! I want this to be a fun and relaxing collab where you don't have to stress over the date since i myself struggled with that before (i still live in shame gdvh). You can work on it at your own pace! I'm so excited to see what ideas you all come up with :D

MASTERLIST BELOW

─ JUJUTSU KAISEN

@laudthingcat | sukuna x reader | nsfw

@aztecbrujeria | toji x reader | nsfw

(Financial) Auditing. | suguru x black reader | nsfw - @nutheadgeenat

@cu7ie | toji x reader (ft. choso, geto & gojo) | nsfw

─ TOKYO REVENGERS

Luck of the draw | hanma x black reader | nsfw - @preciousamethyst

─ HONKAI: STAR RAIL

@villainology | sampo koski x reader | nsfw

─ RESIDENT EVIL

@laudthingcat | leon x reader | nsfw

─ DEAD BY DAYLIGHT

@laudthingcat | danny “jed olsen” johnson x reader | nsfw

─ ATTACK ON TITAN

@buerriberry | eren yeager x reader | nsfw

header art credit goes to Dmitry Sorokin!

[precious-plushies]

I enjoy how your post about my message completely glossed over the fact that I said the proportions of the plush being sexualised is what is so utterly disgusting. That cat plush is supposed to invoke a baby. How can you not see that in the proportions?

You even doubled down and reposted it! I really don't understand how you can see that it's okay to sexualise that specific plush!

Also, I am a plushophile myself. I am not insulting the kink, nor the affinity we all have for plushies.

I am simply disturbed by finding a blog which is sexualising plushies which are made to look like children. Not even children- babies!

You can deflect all you like and claim that "I must be the pedo if that is my first thought" but.. my first thought when seeing that plushie is a baby. The proportions of a human baby. And seeing a blog gleefully sexualise it made me sick to my stomach.

Plain and simple, i did not recall that part of the original DM. To address this new DM, im going to say i do not see the "proportions of a baby" in this particular stuffed animal. It has the proportion of a regular stuffed animal to me. If you'd like to elaborate on where, or how specifically it mimics a baby, im open to seeing how i may be wrong about it.

The reason why i reposted and edited the orignal post, and pinned it, is so my followers are able to see and make their own assumptions about this situation, and, in the case multiple people find me in the wrong, i can rectify this error on my part publicly and form a proper response. I will not take the post down out of shame so nobody knows what I'm talking about while I address the situation.

Futhermore, the post was not insulting you for not understanding or partaking in this subset of kink, but informing others on how the mindset of a plushophile might work, and the thought process behind the selection of my posts; including the one you flagged as inappropriate and immoral.

Accusing someone of something as serious as pedophilia on a post about plushies is a really harsh, and rude accusation and should not be hurled left and right with ease. I appreciate you coming to my DM to voice your discomfort, but do not insult me again. I apologize myself for insulting YOU back, and stooping to that level.

Now, about the proportion, THIS is what I see when I look at the cat, proportion wise:

Large feet, rounded hands, like this generic teddy bear here.

I do NOT see a baby. Is it the underwear that evokes that emotion for you??

Demonstrated here, using a generic baby doll, i do not see the proportion aligning with a real human baby??

Curious.

[Edit:] Forgot to say, but you do not have to ask anonymously, either. I am not going to eat you. Come, and have a formal discussion like two disagreeing adults would.

[the-s1lly-corner]

ATTENTION TADC FANS!

youve all been waiting, and im finally taking requests for TADC again! apologies for the sudden shut down and dismissal of the requests, but it was truly getting to a point where i was beginning to hit the beginning stages of a burnout; and in order to prevent myself from resenting the media or growing tired of it, i had to take a break.. but we're back! with a few news rules that i urge you guys look into since things are going to be slightly different this time around (not much, only one real rule is added, but still!)

As per usual for these posts, im linking my pinned that has most of the rules that generally apply to this blog, really these posts are just for me to announce that im taking stuff for a fandom, you know?

if youre not new around here, though, you will notice a note within the "i will write section", which is that new rule i mentioned above the cut!

however for those who cannot access the link for whatever reason, here is a summarized list of rules n stuff

Basic rules and boundaries:

all requests must be sent in through the inbox. any requests submitted via comments or dms will not be answered, period. i prefer the inbox because its all in one place and easier for me to keep track of things. dms feel invasive and make me feel pressured, and comments can be lost easily. as well as this, with asks i have the request right there so i dont have to dip back and forth for details on what you want

no spamming, please! while i am deciding to keep anon on i can tell when its different requestors asking for the same thing by chance, and when its the same person sending in the same thing. you will receive a warning once (this alone counts as one so technically you get two), after that your request will be denied flat out

as of 12/14/2023, i am not taking oc readers or readers based off of canon characters. while i did canon characters before, i do not have the means or energy to comb through many character wikis for every request. i do intend on opening character based readers eventually, but as of now it is not possible or efficient. you CAN ask for specific traits or personalities, though, thats still allowed

the new rule i mentioned: the new maximum number of characters you can ask for per request is 4-5. before i didnt see much point in limiting TADC since its just 7 characters but i found that most people asked for full casts, but most requests didnt spark any real ideas for every character; thus really feeding into that burnout i mentioned. any requests failing to follow this rule will be put in the wheel (wheel will have the characters names and it will choose who will be written for the request)

i can deny your request for any reason, usually though it will be for discomfort or for being in violation of the admins rules/falls into what he wont write

What I will Write:

fluff and angst! as well as general headcannons! scenarios are allowed too!

poly, platonic, romantic, ect is fine! any characteristics for the reader are usually fine (ex. child!reader, artist!reader, ectect, obviously for stuff like kid readers it will automatically be platonic)

really most things are fine, if theres anything that makes the admin uncomfortable, he will communicate it!

while technically i do write for it, please be mindful when asking for requests that tackle heavier topics (abvse, self h4rm, ect) and will be handled on a case by case basis rather than being set to a solid standard, as well as taking the admins current mental state into consideration when handling these requests

What I WONT Write:

NSFW or NSFW adjacent requests. no smut, no kinks. i have had people try to sneak kinks past me by trying to mess with wording or by trying to justify it by saying it was intended to be fluff. i do not kink shame, but that wont be tolerated here

no yandere stuff, admin isnt really comfy with it. theres a difference between writing characters that can be very jealous and writing something that is extremely unhealthy and to admins knowledge, demonizes those with mental disorders

as mentioned above, heavier topics will be taken with a case by case basis; however if youre asking for things like abvsive!jax x reader or jax walking in on reader SHing then its a hard no. active stuff will not be written here, however a character who has gone through that in the past is an entirely different story

full on fanfics; outside of special occasion, the admin only writes short little paragraphs and stuff for posts

general ban on basic nono content

On the off chance that you request something that has already been done before, admin will link the post that has your request!

with all that being said and done, go nuts guys! i kind of missed writing for TADC but i had to put me first

[awoogawolf]

Hello

My name is Citra 🍋

I was born in April 1990 ♈️♑️♋️

I started this blog to help develop my personal interests.

Some posts only reflect a casual curiosity.

What I like to see and what I like to do can be two different things.

Try not to read into it too much.

This is also where I'm compiling all of my own lewds.🔥

Please read this post to improve your odds of not making me uncomfortable if you try to talk to me.

Things that I do not like:

- humiliation, punishment 🚫

- unsolicited pics, being sent porn 🚫

- racial/age gap fetishization 🚫

- dd/lg, cnc, misgendering, anything forced 🚫

- characterizing sexual expression as shameful 🚫

- being called names like "little girl", "sis", "ma'am", "good girl", "mommy", “princess” 🚫

- any pet names or suggestion of a dynamic I haven't agreed to 🚫

- breeding, impregnation or maternal dynamics 🚫

- cheating, cuckoldry, sneaky sex, incest, taboo 🚫

⚠️⚠️⚠️ I am not here to find a relationship, or a sexual partner. I am not here to be busy in your inbox. I am here to reblog stuff that gives me serotonin. I post what I feel like showing of myself on my blog and I do not send pictures in dm’s. If you want people to see you, post yourself, but do not send me pictures in my dm’s, this will be taken as disrespect of my boundaries, even if it’s just a regular selfie, do not send me pictures. I don't mind casual chatting or even discussing sexual subjects, I don't mind being told that you have made yourself feel good while looking at my blog, but any attempt to pressure me to participate with you will be taken as disrespect to my boundaries. ⚠️⚠️⚠️

I am going to keep editing this as I refine how I want to communicate these things, so keep checking this pinned post for updates.♻️

Thanks in advance for your understanding.

Posts of my self are 👉 here

Feel free to ask me questions but be nice 💫

I don’t sell but here is my ✨wishlist✨

Check my asks to see what I've already answered 👉 here

[doing-swell]

Hi friends! I didn’t have a pinned post so here is my first attempt as I’ve been getting more followers! This blog is a pregnancy/birth fetish account. I’m a 27 year old woman who lives in the US. I’m very bisexual and have always had a pregnancy fetish since I was a kid! This blog is mostly a way for me to explore this side of myself with other like minded folks. I’m trying to actively work through my shame with this fetish and hope you respect that 🫶🏼

As a queer person I will absolutely not condone any form of homophobia or transphobia. I am a cis woman and go by she/her pronouns. Anyone who posts things not aligning with my views will immediately be blocked and unfollowed. If you are under 18, do not interact. If I don’t know your age I won’t respond to you. Full stop.

Things I really enjoy:

Pregnant bellies (specifically, large pregnant bellies, smaller bellies, those with stretch marks, red bellies, moving bellies)

Poking pregnant bellies, rubbing them etc

Stirrups, medical torture stuff, etc (FANTASY ONLY. I CANNOT REPEAT THAT ENOUGH. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU FEEL OTHERWISE)

Birth, birth denial, labor and contractions

Breeding kink and impregnation

Pregnant lesbians (because duh,,, I’m fucking gay)

Clothes not being able to fit/spilling out of old clothes

Giant swollen boobs (especially with veins 🙈)

Waddling and being out of breathe, struggling to sit up etc

I like picturing myself as the carrier, even in painful experiences. I also like to picture myself with a pregnant person.

Hyper pregnancy / Rapid pregnancy

Curves🤤🤤

I’m not into:

Anime/ drawings (only sometimes)

Beastiality, aliens, monsters, anything sci fi

Eggs or pushing out objects

Feederism, feedies, or stuffing (I have dealt with EDs in my life and would rather not get off to this)

Anything to do with fatphobia or shaming folks for their size/weight

Talks of swollen feet - not really into it

Other disclaimers:

I am in a relationship right now and out of respect for my partner I only rarely will respond to DM’s.

Please send me asks, tell me about your fantasies, ask me questions about my fetish. I want to learn more about you as well! I’m an open book when it comes to most things, I promise I won’t judge you 🙈

I don’t want to tell you my name, where I live, or anything about me in real life. You won’t ever see my face. It’s what I’m comfortable with, full stop. If you do get my name or anything from me, it’s for you only. Do not share that without my consent. For purposes of this blog, you can call me Swellie 🤪

I love interacting with mutuals through tags and captions 💋 it’s my way of flirting and will swoon if you do the same

I’m definitely forgetting 100 million other things but that’s for the next pinned post! 🤭

Happy swelling 🫡

[rrcenic]

i think i might be trans sooo

how did you know for sure ??(( sorry if this question is kinda awkward..))

not an awkward question at all!!

so. i first came out as a lesbian when i was 11. after that, i got to know more queer folks and started playing around with pronouns

i went through. a lot of pronouns in those two years.

i seriously have pins that say she/her, she/they, they/she, any, they/them, they/he, he/they, and finally he/him.

my deadname was bella, and i changed it to bell when i still used some form of she, then to galen for a bit, then finally arsen.

(i go by nic on here not because my actual name is a secret but because i really like being called nic, and even though i’ve asked for people to use both irl they just stick with arsen. which is okay ig but i just wanted a space for that name in my life)

every time i tried a new less fem set of pronouns i felt happier?? and like so much better with myself??

like, i needed to take that time to adjust. being trans is scary and sometimes you gotta ease into it!

i realized i was a binary trans man when i got my first covid shot at age 12. it was one of those drive-up things and the man dealing with the paperwork said to my mom “so your son, is he getting the shot too?” (talking about me)

at the time i used he/they pronouns. but like. not rlly “son” or “boy.” and i’d certainly never been called a guy in public

but it just. it felt so right. and i felt comfortable with myself.

i think i also eased into it to spare my family the large adjustment. it’s so much easier for cis allies to remember they/them pronouns than to change from she to he or he to she or any to neopronouns. it takes time

i had been asking to start t since i started using they/them at age 11. i started t about 7 months ago and it’s been. so fucking amazing

my voice has dropped so much, i’ve started getting a little bit of facial hair, and my jawline is changing. i just feel so much more comfortable in my body and with myself.

so yeah. don’t be afraid to try shit out. you’ll know when you’ve found what feels right as far as it comes to labels, pronouns, and medical treatments. the priority is feeling joyful and comfortable with yourself and your body

and i know how easy it is to feel shame. to doubt yourself because you don’t fit the classic trans narrative.

if you don’t want every surgery, if you don’t mind people using your old pronouns, if you don’t feel like coming out, or if you need to ease yourself into it, then do just that. listen to yourself

one example i use is my aunt’s friend, a trans woman in her late 50s or so. she is still in the transitioning process. her old name was like mike or something and her new name is maddison or something. her goal is to go by maddison, but for now she goes simply by m. it lets her adjust and transition at the pace she wants

sorry this took a couple days to get to, i kept starting it and then forgetting to save it and deleting it 😭😭😭

and to whoever this anon is: please dm me if you have any more questions or just need to talk. i’m happy to be a support <333

[osean-kitty]

Don't you think your actions to Brittany rn are just a little bit silly? You're kinda acting like she's purposely trying to hurt you when she had no idea you felt this way in the first place.

Honestly? After thinking about it for a night, yeah I feel some shame because I have let my emotions really get in the way of thinking clearly.

You know what fuck it I already had enough of an outline typed down so I'll explain it here.

I genuinely feel like I got stabbed in the back when all that happened. Because it did flat out feel like Britt was saying at that time that I was supporting Lily because of me being vehemently against what Courtney said, cause I blood boiling angry at that statement. And while I don't have the screenshot, I also did get a anon message not long after Britt told me "that wasn't what Courtney meant" that flat out said that I supported Lily because of it. And that's what made, and still does now, me think Britt accused me of supporting Lily because of the timing. And her now saying that I was "Indirectly supporting Lily," yeah that doesn't help.

I took that break because I wanted to give myself time to think about it, and more importantly I still was in the middle of moving to the house mom got and out of Grandma's basement. Plus I was barely a month into my first relationship and also wanted to put that into priority. Reality take priority over internet.

And the break wasn't for Britt, it was for what Courtney said. I do not like the Idea of children being harmed. And honestly, I still don't buy it. Shit like that is a flat red line for me and I'm not gonna have it.

I only started to re-think my friendship with Britt after New Years day. From the 12th of November to December 31st my thoughts were on what Courtney said. January 15th was when I decided to just end it without notification after going through her blog to around that date to see if she made any posts about that, and she did, and that anon was saying that she and others was being dismissive of what went down. And you know what, it felt like that. At that point, seeing that post, it felt like it was gonna be a friendship where I would have to walk on eggshells after that. I already experienced that with other people and I don't wanna experience that again. I deleted the DM's, except for the ones in the back up, temp blocked both of her blogs, unfriended her on Steam and left it at that, no notification or anything I thought it was the easiest way to just end it. And seeing some glimpses of what was going on in the P&Z space didn't and doesn't help my views on Britt.

So yeah that pinned post? That was just me being petty and mean plane and simple. I probably should've kept on my phone's note app but it is what it is now.

That's it, I'm not looking to re-build bridges with Britt because of all of that because I felt hurt by it. This might not be the best explanation but this is the timeline of how it went down, from my perspective.

[prince-of-undreaming]

Beta Readers? I barely know 'er!

Hi, hello! My name is Vena and I am a queer and Enby writer who is looking for beta readers for my Monster Romance manuscript, Your Bleeding Heart. It is an Eros and Psyche retelling set in a regency Era Fantasy world with Fae, Humans, Elves, Tieflings, etc.

Rates: 21+ for graphic violence, explicit sexual scenes, and potentially triggering material Word Count: 86k Genre: Monster Romance/Romantasy Due Date: Late June

If you have any interest to learn more, feel free to read on!

A brief summary;

Ninette Marin spent almost her life knowing she was cursed to be kidnapped by a monster one day. Even as her family attempted to avoid her fate by marrying her off as soon as they could, their efforts are in vain when she is stolen from her wedding. She finds her monster is actually one of the Fae High Lords, Emir. Emir’s own curse gives him only one chance at love. Their curses leave them twisted into a fate they could have never avoided… 

Content Warnings:   Blood/Gore, Violence, Injury, Death, Child Death, Graphic Language, Casual Nudity, Explicit and Sexual Scenes, Blood Drinking, Cannibalism, Consumption of Organs (hearts), Discussions of Childhood Sexual Assault (Applicable to a main character and a side character), Slut Shaming (Parent to Main Character), Inappropriate age gaps, Kidnapping, Power imbalances, Out of touch conversations about said power imbalances, references to human beings as pets, Bugs (Butterflies, moths), Child Abuse, Transphobia, Paternal abuse (Applicable to both main characters), Controlling Parent, Regency Era Misogyny/Gender Roles, Pregnancy 

A list of Kinks/Sexual contents: Explicit sexual scenes, Mating Bonds, sensory deprivation, Biting, Pinning, Masturbation, Pillow Humping, Unrealistic size difference, Size Kink, It shouldn’t fit but it does and we won’t question it, inappropriate use of Fae bargains, Edging, Teratophilia (Monster Kink), Breeding, Pregnancy, Rut/Heat Cycles, Thigh job, Clothes ripping, Neither of them know where the clit is but they make it work, fingering, exhibitionism, squirting, Oral Sex, Semi Public, Interchangeable Genitals (Trans Male Character)

Please review the trigger warnings and sexual content list very carefully because deciding if this story is for you. I know some of the tags are very triggering for some, myself included, so please take it slow when those things come up.

If you are interested in beta reading, my dms are open! As is my discord _vena if you'd like to reach out. If you have any questions, I'd love to answer and we talk about anything you need; I will also provide a doc that had this information + some extra, along with the beta copy of the manuscript!

Thank you very much for considering :)

[switchy-bastard]

Well, I finally broke down and made a horny blog. Welcome! It's nice to have you here. This is my pinned post, and I will probably edit it fairly often as this blog develops.

I guess let's get the rough part out of the way first.

Do not interact:

Minors- this is an 18+ blog. Please leave immediately.

Terfs- get the fuck out. You will be blocked.

If you would judge someone for anything outside of their control - like race, gender, orientation, sexuality, nationality, etc. - then you're an asshole, and I don't want to talk to you.

About me:

I'm amab, and I use he/him pronouns. If you're very nice to me, there are others I may tell you are okay.

I am bisexual, and I love all genders/genitalia. DMs are open for flirtation with other adults, so long as you understand that I'm not looking for a long-term monogamous partner at the moment. I'm also happy to talk academically about kink-related things.

I'm a top-leaning verse with an oral fixation.

Kinks and kinky preferences:

As my blog title says, I am a switch. I tend to default to submission online, since it's easier/more acceptable/less aggressive, but I do genuinely enjoy both.

Very much have a praise kink, both as a dom and as a sub. Love to be praised, and love to praise. Sometimes, it can be nice to mix in a little degradation, but only if we've agreed to it beforehand.

Bondage is lovely- I can think of very little more intimate than the act of tying someone up, or trusting them enough to be tied. Big into ropes, chains, cuffs, etc.

Hypnosis is cool- I've never been successfully put under, but I like it as a dom, and I like the concept as a sub.

I tend to prefer a gentle style of dominance for myself, but I can get rougher if you like- the trust involved in being asked for that is a huge turn on for me.

If I'm domming you, you can call me Sir, or Master. Please don't call me Daddy without asking first.

If you're domming me, I enjoy being a Good Boy.

Here are some graphics of my kinks (last updated 22 September 2024):

From https://bdsmtest.org

From https://goctionni.github.io/kinklist-v2/

Some elaboration on some of these results:

I'd be willing to wear heels for play only if we found them in my size- I have wide feet, which makes shoe shopping difficult, and I don't get enough out of cross-dressing myself to bother looking for them, but if that's your kink, I'll work to indulge you, as I have nothing against it.

Calling people Daddy/Mommy is hot. Taking it further, to the point of age regression or incest roleplay, is not my kink, but this is not a moral indictment against those who enjoy it. Live your freaky truth!

I'm fairly neutral about age gaps. I wouldn't seek out someone too much younger or older, but I'm open to adult conversations with other adults.

I will not be tickled. This is not open to negotiation.

I will not participate in cheating, even as roleplay. If you have a cuckold/cuckqueen fetish, this is not to shame you- it just isn't for me.

If you've made it this far, my asks (including anons if you're shy) and DMs are open. I hope you like it here!

I'm still figuring out my personal stance on polyamory/ethical non-monogamy. I'm certainly not looking for anything monogamous myself right now, but I've got some hang-ups from my upbringing that make it difficult to engage fully with the poly lifestyle. Patience is appreciated as I work through this. I'm usually down to have fun, though!

Claimed anons: 🦇, 😇 (maybe), 🪼

[elslittlestories]

27 stars

or Decanting day #3

The last of this 3-part short story revolving around Tech and Wrecker's decanting day. I feel like my writing is still rusty but it was fun to play around the different POVs. If you want to discuss this or my AU in general, please feel free to slide in my DMs 😉

The whole story is available on AO3

POV: Dita (my OC)

Words count: 1 238

“The decanting process of CT-8324 [ndla: Tech], CT-8956 and CT-9732 [ndla: Wrecker] has begun,” says Zee.

“Honey, Sunshine and Baby,” I silently correct them as they start broadcasting the kid’s bio-charts on the main console.

I’m not allowed to access anything else, but after over two years of those charts have become as informative as a holovid. I can tell from Baby’s heartbeat rate that the anesthesia isn’t kicking in…I drag a stool in front of the console and sit. Please let there be a good outcome this time! I don’t think I can wait another 2 months with the nursery empty…

Ten minutes is, Honey and Sunshine seem to be having a smooth decanting, but Baby is awfully tachycardic. Soon he’ll be in respiratory distress, they always are when the anesthesia fails. Poor thing, I wish the Kaminoans would find a way to prevent that!

And here it is. Baby’s CO2 levels are skyrocketing. I clench my fist. What are they waiting for? This kid needs to be intubated!

A flash of red distracts me from Baby. Sunshine’s blood pressure has dropped dangerously! My throat tightens. Brain hemorrhage. A massive one judging by the numbers plummeting. Same thing that took the two kids from the previous batch and many more before. I don’t know what the Kaminoans are trying to do, but they’re obviously messing with something they shouldn’t if this keeps happening!

I take a glance at the board where all my kids are pinned. 17 pictures. 26 stars…They’re going to keep Sunshine for observation—and whatever experiments they’re doing—during the next 24 hours, but I already know he’s going to be the 27th star.

At least Honey is doing fine. They’re going to call me in to pick him up in a little less than an hour. Baby should be fine too in a day or two, and this place will finally be alive again.

After one last look at the screen, I slid off the stool and head to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, I smile to myself. I’ve filled it with enough blue milk to feed a squad or two. I overdid it, but I’ve been dreaming of pouring some in a baby bottle for months now!

I don’t care what the doctors say, this is the smoothest way to acclimate the kids’ tummy to proper food after having been fed through an IV for so long while they’re in their tubes. Besides, those mad scientists would have to give an ounce of care about what I do here to find out about it. As Nala Se put it during my job interview, I’ve been given total freedom to achieve their goal. Which is good little soldiers that follow orders…

I wake up with a start and it takes me a moment to remember I settled in bed with Honey to help him fall asleep. He’s curled up against me, his hand is griping my collar, and his head is resting on my arm. That’s what awoken me: I can’t feel my left hand and the rest of my arm are pins and needles.

Carefully, I shift him on my chest and flex my arm to regain sensations. He mumbles, wiggles a little before going still, his little body rising and falling to his breathing. The cards I gave him earlier are scattered all over the bed. He’s already memorized all of the species! I’ve never seen a kid like him. Asking so many questions and grasping some complex concepts so easily.

It’s a shame these children are brought to life in such awful conditions, and meant to become soldiers, but I can’t help but be thankful for the little time I get to spend with each of them. I squeeze Honey into a hug and peck the top of his head. Officially, I’m here to ensure they become obedient enough for the Kaminoans’ standard. But I’d be damned if I didn’t do my best to give them as much love and care as I can while doing so!

I hope Baby will join us tomorrow. His vitals were last time Zee checked, but like most of the kids who experienced a bumpy decanting process, he’s taking some time to wake up. It’ll be good for the boys to be together. One thing that never changes is how clones hate loneliness.

I try to focus on Honey’s breathing to prevent my mind from wandering off to those who left. I can’t help but think about 99, alone and out of reach in the main training building. I’ll have to send him a message. He’ll be happy to know about the newborns. For now, it needs to only be in…and out…and in…

Sunshine’s charts glow red on the console. Below them, Baby’s are all nominal. It’s been 24 hours, the doctors are going to call it for both of them any minute now. I twirl the star-shaped pin between my fingers.

From the corner of my eyes, I can see Honey downing his blue milk, sitting on the floor by the window. A rare ray of sun pierces through the clouds and casts its light on the floor. He reaches out to touch it, or maybe just feel the warmth.

The console beeps. Sunshine is offline. I purse my lips and walk to the board. That’s 27 little stars now…I’m not sure there’s anything waiting for us after we die, but if there is, I hope they all found each other.

“CT-9732 [ndla: Wrecker] is ready for transfer,” Zee informs me, bringing me back to reality—How long have I been staring at that board?

Honey snaps his neck to me.

“Can I go with you?”

I don’t have the heart to say no. I don’t think the doctors would care anyway. I hold out my hand and wait for him to stand up and come to take it.

“He’s still sleeping, though,” I warn him.

“How do you know?”

I point at the screen, “His heart rate is slow.”

Honey squints, then lifts his face up to me, frowning.

“It’s still early for physiology lessons,” I chuckle. “Come on, they don’t like to wait.”

We make our way to the lab’s med bay, Honey ahead, pulling at my hand me all along. I’m amazed he remembers the route! Although, the feeling is washed over by a burst of anger when I see Sunshine’s body have already been dealt with. His bed empty, the monitors turned off. It’s not exactly a surprise, but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how fast they discard these poor kids.

I force myself to focus on Baby who’s lying on the next bed. Zee gently removes his captors and I bend over him to wrap his covers around his necked body. I slip my arms under the boy, lift him, cradle him onto my chest and adjust his position so his head nests in my neck. Someone left a gurney nearby, but I want Baby to experience human warmth as soon as possible.

Honey pats his brother on the back. With a tilt of my head, I invite him to follow me outside. There’s no need in staying in this awful place longer than we have to. As I walk out, I can feel a tug on the covers where Honey has grabbed onto the fabric. This, at least, softens my heart.