—seaside.
Rin really was looking forward to it, you know?
Their dream. Soccer. No, Rin couldn't care less about soccer — what he cared about was brother, and being the best next to him. Next to him. By his side. He didn't care about being some best, he cared about his brother.
Fuck that. Seriously fuck that.
OR
synopsis. Rin after Sae came home from Spain, buying his old favorite ice cream, stuck in his thoughts.
warnings. swearing, a fair amount of it. angst (i guess?). character study (in-character writing), which essentially is me yapping. tw long tags because those are my footnotes. I know blue lock fans only really care for thirsts and stuff so here's rin angst ig. wc 985.
Footsteps gently thudded on the hard dirt, the sea buzzing in the distance, the occasional splash of the waves against rock, the sun beginning to set.
Rin couldn't bear to stay in his house.
(Correction: holed up in his room.) He couldn't bear the thought of staying around his brother at all. He'd grown accustomed to Sae's absence in the four years he was away — but knowing he was back, near him, in his own home just filled him with a seething rage. He left his room with scattered trophies. Maybe in the heat of the moment he broke a photo.
He just couldn't be there right now.
Rin looked down at his hands. He had twin popsicles in them. He continued to walk until he reached the railing overlooking the sea. He promptly broke them in half. He couldn't stop thinking over the fact that Sae was usually the one to — supposed to be the one to — break them in half. He stared at them with a tired expression.
He couldn't stand being here either. He couldn't stand being anywhere right now.
Rin held the one popsicle in his other hand and stuck the other in his mouth, expression blank except for the twitch of his eyebrows. No, he came out here to not think of his stupid fucking brother right now — he came out here to breathe. He came out here to get out of his room. He came out here to eat popsicles. And watch the sunset.
Rin really was looking forward to it, you know?
Their dream. Soccer. No, Rin couldn't care less about soccer — what he cared about was brother, and being the best next to him. Next to him. By his side. He didn't care about being some best, he cared about his brother.
Fuck that. Seriously fuck that.
Rin had to come to terms Sae Itoshi had lied to him. Thinking back, Sae always did talk about being the best in the world — did they even share a dream in the first place? Did Sae truly just use him as a training partner? And now — now that he was the best, was Rin simply not enough?
Rin didn't want to play soccer any more.
His grip tightened slightly on the other popsicle. Some of it melted, dripping down his hand — that'd make some mess — but Rin didn't bother to clean it up. He'd nearly finished the one he was eating, opting to take it out of his mouth and see if he had won or not. In big, bold letters, were the words 'YOU WIN' on the popsicle stick.
He always did win.
Which meant the other popsicle was the losing one. Rin still took the half-melted ice cream into his mouth, switching it out with the one he already finished eating. He had a solemn expression on his face as he pondered throwing the stick into the ocean. He just kept it in his hand and stared into the horizon.
No, it couldn't be. Why did Sae change so suddenly? Whatever he and his brother went through — all his praises and all the goals they made, the money they spent on twin popsicles, the amount of 'winner' sticks in the bottom of the ocean, sitting together, walking together, him holding onto Sae's sleeve like a stupid annoying kid, their talk just before Sae went to Spain and changed forever — they all had to have meant something. It had to have meant something.
Or maybe Sae was the weak one here. He gave up, after all, didn't he? — he changed his dream. He left Rin behind. He was just pathetic. He just wasn't the same.
Sae never really was the same when he came back.
It was like looking at someone who looked like your brother. But he wasn't. This wasn't his brother, this wasn't the boy who made his dreams, this wasn't his reason to play soccer — this was Sae Itoshi, the man who turned his life upside down, the man who crushed him, the man who shoved the cold, hard truth into his face and took away all the child-like love and respect he ever had to the only human he'd ever considered family.
Rin would never forgive him.
Why the hell did he change so suddenly?
Rin would never forgive him.
No, in fact — Rin would crush him. He wanted to crush him until he was nothing more next to him. Crush him and his cruel dream to be the best midfielder.
He'd prove he was more than some training partner. Sae wanted to be the best midfielder in the world? So that Rin could be the best striker in the world? Fucking go right ahead.
He hated he wanted to prove his brother right.
He hated him.
Rin wanted to play soccer again.
He gritted his teeth, accidentally biting on the popsicle stick too hard — the sudden spike of pain making him take it out of his mouth. He took a deep breath, scanning over the large 'YOU LOSE' in bold letters written on the popsicle stick. He held both the losing and winning sticks in one hand, turning from the railing with a deep breath. And he began to walk back home.
Rin won back his dreams again today.
Some part of him didn't have Sae Itoshi as a brother anymore. Just an adversary. Just some obstacle.
He stared at the popsicle sticks again — 'YOU WIN', and 'YOU LOSE'. He stared at them as he walked along the side of the road. Rin found himself dwelling over the losing words. Trying to feel what his brother might've felt back then. It was one of the rare time he actually got the losing popsicle. And at the same time he didn't really lose — the winning one was just in his hand as well. But he didn't truly win either.
Rin had a feeling he could only truly win or lose if he had someone to win or lose to.
But he didn't. Not anymore.
... And Rin wasn't a sentimental person at all. But for now, he decided to keep the popsicle sticks, safely tucked into his pocket, like the ghost of the past.
For old time's sake, if you will.
© reapkusho on tumblr. 2024. all rights reserved. refrain from translating, copying, or stealing in any way, etc.
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Aforementioned Napoleonic AU! Martian !! I said it would just be a wip but then oops, I basically finished it! Ty to everyone who was interested :D
Really really proud of these I'm ngl! I rendered in a really different way than ever before and I'm very satisfied with it :D
Ramble about historical influences(basically me being a nerd about who I consider the F1 drivers of the Napoleonic era):
So I wanted to explain my thought process because I think that the specific context behind the uniforms I drew is very relevant, as I didn't just pick them on a whim.
I drew them in Hussars' uniforms(Austrian Empire = Red Bull, but like obviously not 100% accurate because the uniform colors are based off the RBR racesuits.) Hussars are, in my opinion, the F1 drivers of their time. Let me quote several things that led me to this conclusion:
"During the Napoleonic period, hussars, as in all armies, were employed as scouts, given raiding missions or despatched to harry and pursue a defeated enemy on the run. Mounted on light, nimble horses..."
"...Their flamboyant costume and their reputation for daredevil acts..."
"...developed a romanticized image of being dashing and adventurous.
Okay....so they're dashing and adventurous, riding specifically on fast, light horses, dressed in flamboyant outfits committing daredevil acts...sir that is literally an F1 driver!!! Tell me they aren't the historical predecessor to F1 drivers!!!
I have this big book of Napoleonic uniforms(yea I'm a nerd) and I was paging through it to see what uniforms I wanted to draw(I have a habit of drawing my one oc in the Napoleonic era. So when I started drawing fanart, I'm like of course I must draw them as this!) Austria's normal uniforms in this era are soooo boring compared to France's, so I was really 😒 about drawing them, but then I came across the Hussars, and then started noticing all these similarities and thought it was perfect. Also I need to mention the fact that Austria's royal cipher at the time was literally this:
IT'S "F1", IT IS LITERALLY FUCKING F1, WHAT THE HELLLLL!?!?!?!? I had like a partial mental crisis coming across this, at that point it was destiny for me to draw this
*I forgot to include actual ref images 😐, so here you go!!
*I wrote most of his around when I started this drawing, which was all the way back in April. And it's really interesting to consider now that I was basically immersed in the history of the Austrian Empire for a month. I apologize to everyone in my life who had to endure my lecture on why Hussars are the F1 drivers of their time. But god I could not hold it back when I saw some of these uniforms in person. And it was cool to pull out this drawing, even if it was just a wip, and be like "oh hey I've drawn these!!" Anyways, I digress.
Obviously the martian drawing is a direct reference to this pic from Malaysia 2010:
My thoughts on this picture:
I almost wanted to draw Seb in the Austrian Kaiser's outfit, but it is nowhere near as slay as the Hussar uniform, so Hussar uniform it is!
I have many thoughts and opinions on the lore of this au so pls ask if you're curious but it's also just a lot.
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🌻Hiya!🌻
🐦Twitter | 📖AO3 | 🖥️Twitch | 📺YouTube
Call me Sea! (they/them) I'm a Non-Binary Aromantic Asexual Filipino American and Full-Time Library Worker (currently in my late 20s)! In my spare time, I bounce from interest to interest while doodling and writing and exploring different aspects of storytelling. I tend to view things under a queer lens or have fun thinking about what if scenarios. You'll mostly see me posting fanworks, but every once in a blue moon I'll let my original work see the light of day.
I do not take commissions, but I will sometimes ask for doodle requests. DO NOT ask me to create anything that promotes incest, pedophilia, or acts of bigotry (racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc) in any form (Don't Interact with me if you support that stuff either). I also don't create anything NSFW, but I'm usually fine seeing that kinda content (except fetish and heavy gore). I'm Very Fond of hurt/comfort scenarios, familial bonds, and sapphic romance, so absolutely talk to me about that stuff if you wanna!
‼️Important Posts and Tags:
🐢TMNT Fanworks Masterpost
++Rise Casey Sr Lore Masterpost
+++Mikey-centric Fic Rec List for reasons
🐇Oresama Teacher Fanworks Masterpost
🕊️Legendlark Podcast Fanworks Masterpost
#My Art | #My Writing | #My Vid | #Informative Information
📚Book recommendations (just cuz):
Elemental Logic series by Laurie J. Marks
Delicious in Dungeon (manga) by Ryoko Kui
Moomin book series by Tove Jansson
Thirsty Mermaids (GN) and Snapdragon (GN) by Kat Leyh
Across a Field of Starlight (GN) and Meal (GN) by Blue Delliquanti
Witchy (GN series) by Ariel Slamet Ries
Wayfarer series by Becky Chambers
Black Water Sister by Zen Cho
Hakumei & Mikochi (manga) by Takuto Kashiki
Witch Hat Atelier (manga) by Kamome Shirahama
I Think Our Son is Gay (manga) by Okura
Beetle & the Hollowbones (GN) by Aliza Layne
The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin
The Magic Fish (GN) by Trung Le Nguyen
Machineries of Empire series by Yoon Ha Lee
The Thirty Names of Night by Zeyn Joukhadar
The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon
Our Dreams at Dusk (manga) by Yuki Kamatani
💖Forever interests (in no particular order):
Pokemon
Kingdom Hearts
Digimon
D&D
Legend of Zelda
TMNT
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👀Current Fixation(s): TMNT (2k3, Rise, & IDW) I'm very normal about my bestie '03 Mikey and Rise Casey (Sr) and just about every sapphic character in IDW
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thinking about how someone tried to insist to me that hellcheer was 'gross and pedophilic' because they had 'a huge age gap' and i thought it was the stupidest shit i'd ever heard so-
in true Extra Ass Bitch fashion i calculated roughly what the oldest/ youngest possible ages chrissy could be and the oldest/youngest possible ages eddie could be based on canon evidence (eddie's 2 failed years, chrissy's '86 necklace, etc.) and approximate school cut off dates
anyway, this is a rough approximation (not that it particularly matters because they're both still in the same age range/stage of life so a few years isn't rly much of an issue given their canon interactions) but if anyone was curious:
eddie should have been born in '65 or '66. backwards calculation places chrissy either late '67 or early '68. eddie failed his senior year twice and was supposed to have graduated in '84, he's on his third try. chrissy is head cheerleader and wears an '86 necklace, she's a senior in '86.
the youngest Chrissy could be is about [17yrs + 7 months] assuming a birthday around August of '68
the oldest Chrissy could be is about [18yrs + 6 months] assuming a birthday of around September of '67
the youngest Eddie could be is about [19yrs + 7 months] assuming a birthday around August of '66
the oldest Eddie could be is about [20yrs + 6 months] assuming a birthday in September of '65
even in the 'worst case scenario' where eddie is the oldest he could be and chrissy is the youngest she could be, eddie is 20 and chrissy almost 18
if you go with the opposite, with chrissy being as old as possible and eddie as young as possible, then eddie is almost 20 and chrissy is over 18
the other combinations average out to a 2 year age gap, which for the record, for high schoolers is still incredibly common. again, this is a stupid argument, but i can be spitefully pedantic sometimes and i enjoy having all the possible information i can before i talk shit
and i love to talk shit. so i went to go get the data myself
anyway grace van dien once said that she thinks chrissy is a pisces and i trust her so assuming that's true then chrissy was born sometime between mid february to mid march of '66, meaning chrissy would haven just turned 18 as s4 began, while eddie is still in the 19 to 20 range depending on when you place his birthday
but all of this seems ridiculous when you realize that based on what school year they're in during s4, chrissy was a sophomore the first time eddie was a senior. so like. everything else is just being pedantic for the sake of finding smth to be mad about
either way i rest my case this is a dumb argument to use against the ship, hellcheer haters get bent just say you don't ship it and go
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