#//like he doesn't dislike the world

[strawberista]

let me assign you an affection language

an undoing influence Can someone tell you what to do? You have been carrying so much love within you for so long it is starting to turn into anger (why does it matter, all you see is red anyways) and you have been dragging this body through each day and every night you are split open on your bed and it is so so so lonely. If someone were to walk in while you were on your bed that way and they stitched you back in a new way, lining the seams with their love and kisses, you’d probably find this dreary world a little more bearable. You want someone to turn you over and over until you look in the mirror and see yourself looking back at yourself with a gentleness which has been lacking in you since forever.

Tagged by: Stolen from @empyreous Tagging: Please Steal

[ruler-of-thorns]

Malleus having older sibling trauma. Malleus resenting how Lilia is able to openly express being Silver's parent but had to keep Malleus at arms length because of their roles. Malleus having to know someone who was presumably initially very cold and softened only as he was growing older while Silver had a very openly loving father immediately. Malleus being the child who taught Lilia how to parent and love. Malleus never feeling like Lilia truly loved him after seeing how he was able to love Silver. Malleus loving Silver because they're brothers and at the same time resenting him for having the father he always wanted.

[antirepurp]

delivering controversial takes to the "the gang plays minecraft" discussion

[lloydfrontera]

my biggest gripe with the manhwa rn is that they made javier more of an asshole than he is in the novel and then took away most of the scenes where we see him being kind and soft with others.

javier can be an ass, he is a brat and he's especially annoying when he's with lloyd, but above anything else he is kind and loyal and selfless and good. i cannot emphasize enough how good javier is. he's the kind of person who cannot see someone in trouble or danger and do nothing about it. he's the kind of person who would sacrifice his life for total strangers and no hope of any reward. he's the kind of person who can't even enjoy a lavish party without feeling guilty because he'd much rather help people in need with that money.

he's so fucking good, lloyd is a little annoyed by it because he keeps getting dragged into life-threatening situations because javier just won't stop helping people they don't even know. mind you, lloyd is also endeared by this and would not want him to change but god can it be frustrating in his endeavor to keep them both alive.

there's this particular scene that i just. i'm so sad it was cut. where javier is helping around the refugee camp, going without sleeping and eating so he can focus on helping as many people as possible and then he spots a little kid that got lost on his way back. so he decides to help him.

and he's so gentle with this kid.

Javier walked over to the kid and called him. The flustered boy looked up. Javier strove to put on a warm smile on his face. "Are you lost?" “...” The boy nodded, his eyes all wet. Javier carefully stroked the boy's head. "I think I can help you with that. Why don't you let me help find your tent?" suggested Javier. “...” The boy nodded again. "But why didn't you eat the food? It's going to get cold. Are you not hungry?" "I am… hungry," the boy finally said. But what he said next caught Javier by surprise. "But I won't eat it," said the boy. "Why not?" "My mother is hungrier." "Is that so?" "Yes." “...” Javier wondered why this kid came out to take the food when he had a mother. There must be a reason, he thought to himself. He held out his hand. "I will hold the tray for you." "..." "I won't spill it. I promise." "Okay..." Javier took the tray and wrapped the boy’s hand with his own.

like. god. javier is not a naturally warm person. he's very reserved and stoic and sometimes outright cold, but he still tries so hard with this kid. because he knows what it's like to be him. he knows what it's like to be a child and be scared and hungry and without a home. and he remembers how much it meant for a kind adult to reach out a hand to him and help. and he wants to be that to others too.

everything he does, he does because he genuinely believes it's the right thing to do and therefore his obligation. and even when it doesn't come naturally to him, like being warm and gentle to a child, he still tries his best to do so.

and like that wasn't enough, when they finally find the kid's mom, javier finds out she's blind. recently blinded actually. that she used all her strength to get her child to safety and now she has to depend on him to take care of them because she can't do it anymore. her blouse is smudged with porridge.

so javier kneels down and explains who he is, why he's there and that he wants to help. he lifts up a spoonful of food and slowly and carefully starts to feed her himself. she's a complete stranger and javier doesn't hesitate one second to do this for her.

this is who javier is!! this is who he is at his core!! he's kind and he's selfless and he's above all else good!!

if your audience can't imagine javier comforting a child, then you failed your audience. you missed the point of his character.

[imminent-danger-came]

Hot take, but I think MK is only focused on the city/innocent people mainly because of how it contributes to his vision of a "hero". Like yeah, obviously he cares, but he's so much more focused on his own life and his own friends rather than the greater good (which, valid). Like I think of instances like the end of 2x03, where they distinctly don't help clean up after Pigsy's ping-pong relapse, and the fact that we've only seen MK helping strangers TWICE in the whole show (2x05, where he attempts to stop spider queen by aiding who he thinks is an innocent girl, and those old ladies in 4x01, partly a result of his guilt over LBD), and it's just like. My mans is not his own definition of a hero ("We help people! I mean I- I help people!").

In AHIB MK steals a civilian's hover bike, and he didn't give it back (we see it show up again in 1x09). In 1x01 it's "What about my friends? The city? They're all counting on me!", with his friends notably first. In 4x02 Azure highlights "It's too late to save them! We can't risk unleashing the curse into the world!" to which MK replies "You don't know, we'd risk it for sure!". MK has already chosen his friends over the world. He'll do it again. I think of the end of s3 and his words: "The perfect world is what you make it—so as long as I have my friends by my side, this world! Is! Perfect!".

MK has spent the first 4 seasons of this show maintaining the status quo. Unlike the Lady Bone Demon and Azure, who try to bring about real change, MK is reactionary. He has to be pushed into taking action or solving problems. He's fixing what other people break rather than taking a stand himself. MK doesn't embody a typical selfless hero—which, tbh he doesn't need to, it's why I find him so interesting. He's so obsessed with being the hero and being a "good guy" that he's almost missed the trees for the forest.

Like, MK's defining moment as a "hero" who helps others (set up in 2x07) is saving Mei in 3x10. Saving his best friend. The only reason he had the determination to reach out to Mei at all was because she was so close to him. We see something similar to samadhi fire Mei play out in 4x14 with Jade Emperor Azure, and MK doesn't save him. MK let's Wukong stop him from reaching out to Azure. Azure dies.

I love this guy

[frogs-in3-hills]

the barry the chopper episode of fma 03 is such a wild addition to the lineup it really has it all. it has mini murder mystery. it has gave me nightmares as a child. it has the complete shattering of a twelve year old’s brain that fundamentally alters the course of his development. it has rampant transphobia. it even has hughes

[ask-bending-horizons]

Chimes!!!!!!!!

RC: !!!!!!! RC: HI CREATIVITY!!! RC: Been a while, huh? Surprised I didn't anticipate you showing up, you're everywhere, man! RC: My group's here!!! I know, I know, so impressive~ How's Lands Edge?

CSS: Oh great void. CSS: Hello Infinite Possibilities; Creation Unending... CSS: Chimes, are you even listening-

RC: Really- how's everything been going? Wawa's doing well, yeah? I miss the little bugger. I gotta bribe her to my can sometime... Getting meat is a struggle in my chamber~! RC: Gardener- the latest one, is in great health! I believe she's off sheltering somewhere... Isn't she the cutest?

CSS: With all due respect, you are managing our call line. My time is valuble to me.

RC: Shush, shush- you have all eternity to iterate. RC: Oh!!! Also!!! I organized my pearl archives recently- RC: I paid special mind to the music pearls. I picked out a few I liked in particular and had them sorted to my chamber. All different genres, from all sorts of dynasties... I even found one of the old ones my mama used to love! RC: Soooooo... if you and BROS ever need music files for your game.... RC: Well, you know your guy!

[front-facing-pokemon]

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 6!!!

[laugtherhyena]

In a non-despair au(no kg) how do you think beni and kanata would interact?

First and foremost, i feel like Kanata and Hamato's roles on her life would sorta switch around?

Since in a world where the despairs aren't a thing and the tragedy never happened he would have remained in college and become an architect which would make him pretty busy, so he'd really just visit the family every so often instead of being with Beni basically all the time through her childhood. So they definitely wouldn't be as close to one another as they are in the tragedy timeline and Beni would have grown up close to Kanata instead.

While she does have her work as a surgeon and studies in hope's peak i think Kanata would still take time of her day to go talk to her sister and ask how was her day at school and how she's doing, Beni was a very curious kid so i imagine she would sneak into Kanata's room while she's reading/studying and sit beside her. I also feel like in this scenario she would know Kinji too? He was friends with Kanata and liked taking care of the kids from his church so i imagine Kanata would bring him to meet her sister.

As she grows older they'd have longer, more meaningful conversation where they sorta just talk for hours and hours switching from one topic to another. I feel like Beni would ask Kanata for guidance whenever she's struggling with something, also think Kanata would try to help her with her anger issues a bit, tho obviously she wouldn't want Beni to bottle up her emotions or anything.

But the main thing that would change here is that Beni wouldn't have become a medical professional, yeah, she'd still admired her sister a lot but it's Kanata's absence in her life in the tragedy timeline and the fact that she hardly recalls how she was like that made Benitsuru want to become like her as much as she did. So with Kanata around she would have become some kind of historian instead, since that's something she has a real passion for.

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

i have to think about chilchuck and laios forever

[razzle-zazzle]

when the old aus come back and grab you by the throat

[faradaykay]

i know i've said this before on this account but it's been a while and i feel strongly so i'll express it again: i really feel like some of yall need to stop believing that being aroace only manifests in the same few stereotypical personality types. people can be aroace despite being openly flirtatious and affectionate, people can be aroace despite having romantic and sexual desires, people can be aroace no matter what

[enbysiriusblack]

dorcas meadowes and sirius black are the anti hero marauder characters.

[katyspersonal]

3 for Aldrich, Aldia, Willem & Laurence

9 for Maria

11 for Micolash & Aldrich

24 for Laurence

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

3) What first drew you to this character?

As for Aldrich, I vaguely recall finding out that he checks the traits I like the most? He was one of the characters I've learned about through fandom and not on my own, and I think this ancient meme about summarises it:

Also:

@val-of-the-north SHUDDUP you're basically so horny for Laurence/Logarius/Snatchers that you can't even picture them in your mind in any way but being naked!!!!!!! *casts the stone back at u*

With Laurence, like with Mico, it was the very first glance at the character in Youtube compilation with boss themes and concept art image. I did not know the lore yet, but the design and the music made me imagine Laurence as sort of aged, sagely librarian. I could not imagine back then that his boss fight would be him being a "helpless abhorrent little mewmew" as kids call it! Heck, I thought he'd have dialogue despite the monster form x) In a way, my first impression was not wrong, with the cut content of him actually talking even in a beast form, and implication of him being a son of Cainhurst cut content librarian NPC! I have intuition for cut content before having information, hahaha!

I have nothing to say about Willem. It might be a memory gap thing, but I swear at some point I feel I was turned off and then booted back up with liking this character already installed in my system x) As for Aldia.... ugh for fuck's sake... yeah, it was this legend:

I was absolutely floored by this stupid vid even without knowing any context, but I also instantly liked this character. I didn't even know his name yet, but the voice acting and long yapping about philosophy already pulled me in XD (Also unironically, this video is precisely how I give relationship advice fhfhdds)

9) Does this character remind you of anyone you know? Does that affect how you see them?

Yeah, I know this person. I know them very well. I know them more than anyone else. Someone who was misguided (by their destructive influence mentor figure, by their own foolishness and past history, or combination of both, who can tell anymore?) into committing awful things, then despaired over their sins and attempted redemption but also failed in some way? This person is me. At some point I've found myself in front of horrible truth about my past life and personality, and knew I was guilty and sullied forever. That it was over for me as a human being, but that didn't matter, and I could only keep people safe by locking myself away and trying to serve something better.

......annnnd it took a few years of more informed people to (metaphorically) shake me and slap my face into lucidity, explaining to me that I've fallen for the "BPD demonization" that was going far beyond than my individual failure as a friend, and we are always accused of abuse and causing irreversible harm when the worst we do is being emotionally overbearing. I kept losing trust to those friends, telling them that they were enablers who tried to gaslight me into thinking I was not 'that much of a monster', until it was other people with BPD who 'shook me and slapped my face into lucidity'. xd Nonetheless, even though now I know the truth about how society treats BPDs, I remember the feeling of being so monstrous and harmful that I was not even allowed to "touch" people with my dirty hands, how my reality used to be. So, I could write Maria going through this effortlessly, especially considering what she did was more plain and tangible!

In fact... thank you for asking me about this, because I kept wondering why I had such frequent dreams about being Maria, and why the Maria in my dreams acts like abused child that took back control against Gehrman despite my portrayal of the guy being so different. And now the puzzle is solved! That part of me still lives inside, it seems.

11) How did you “fall in love” with this character?

Already answered this for Micolash here: ( x )! As for Aldrich, it was through properly analysing the bigger picture and context of his actions. I've figured that his madness was, in fact, being informed on what was far too ahead of everyone else around him! He, like the rest of the cast, is trapped in the rotting, doomed world in which the only choices are 1) "die with dignity" or 2) commit something unthinkable from moral standpoint for a chance to escape. And will morality of the rotting world will matter in the new world anyways? Won't it all be left behind and be forgiven?

The guy also tried to take everyone else he could with him, like sort of a fucked up Noah's Arc! I can tell that they reused the concept with Rykard, at least, I am glad they know what works xD I'd say that the sadism he experienced upon eating people was either result of insanity (he understood a thing no one should understand), or still didn't exclude the bigger purpose (egotistically revelling in how holy he is helping everyone and doing what no one else dared, which would be like my Laurence). In any case, I have the strongest respect to the courage it takes to transcend the bonds of morality and compassion in order to to greater good. Being burdened with the knowledge of how the world really works, and choosing to push through instead of still being bound... This is why I also like Fauxsefka; learning how this world works, she chose to turn people into Kin so they can't ever become beasts. I am weak for this trope, you don't understand.

24) Do you ever dream about this character? If so, describe a dream you once had about them.

Laurence appears in my dreams only in two contexts: 1) Micolaurence or 2) dreams about finding secret files in Bloodborne that reveal his canonical appearance before beasthood! I can tell the latter comes from my everlasting unsatisfaction with my design for him, because I love it but it doesn't feel "fitting" and I can't identify why!

The former, I think, fandom rubbing onto me x) In two of these dreams, I was Laurence. In other two, I was Micolash. In one of Laurence dreams it was mutual, in the second one I was in love unrequited. In one of Micolash dreams, it was mutual, and in another it was not.. Basically, my dreams allows me to experience this ship from every possible angle. o_o Waiting for more I guess fhhdfsfd

______________

Thank you for asking! And.. without exaggeration, you've just done quite a psychological work on me by just asking the right thing. I need to think about that, hahaha

[thisismyworldyeah]

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