#//i really hope you're doing okay
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Apologies for being here so much. But this one is serious and I'd figure I'd go to my favorite.
If possible, can you get Killian here too? Will a message that is.
How do you deal with suicidal thoughts? If you've ever had them and got over them or at least have advice. I just lost my friend to suicide and I'm kinda just done. I've got too much on my shoulders.
Please contact them, both chat, call and text is available. Also try drinking some warm tea, turn on a favorite show, get comfy with your favorite blanket and stuffie, then try to get some sleep. ^-^ Killian and I both have gone through it multiple times, and are speaking from experience. recommendation from both myself and @killianlynch [ooc: and @sanityisforlosers ]
:)<3
#//i really hope you're doing okay#julius the dressmaker#killian lynch#//anyone who's struggling please reach out to a crisis line#//i believe in all of you and I'm so proud of you for making it another day#//you're strong and will get through this i believe in you#/gen
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(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
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the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)
after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)
the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol
lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him
#I am worried about him all the time. but also: his found family of godslaying maniacs and also the power of love. there are reasons to hope#when there was only one set of footprints in the sand that was the veilguard party holding lucanis in their arms#and going 'excuse you he said no FUCKING pickles!!!' while he's like '🥺should you guys really be -- ' 'YES'#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#there's some messiness to his arc but what mary kirby managed to capture here about how this works. is everything to me#he is so exactly for me. I'm sorry for all the people he turned out not to be for. but not for him being for me#the gift of looking at him and hearing 'you're more than what you're going through' and be forced to annoyedly go 'okay#MAYBE that could be also be true for me. maybe.' he's going through it. and also so much more and the funniest person in the world#he's so worth it to still have in the world!!!!#I'm so glad we don't get to 'fix' his relationship with his family and especially caterina actually#that is stuff that would need to happen on a time scale waaay outside of the one in this game#and there's Something very real in having to go 'this is not for me to decide for you. who you love and what you do about it is yours'
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was overcome with the urge to draw "wade tenderly caressing logan's face while he's Feeling Big Angsty Stuff" and then the parallel urge to do a follow-up of "logan kissing wade's hand/holding onto him for dear life"
(anyway hope you like it - I have been looking at this for too long and so of course I hate it now 🫠 art is hard guys lol)
some details below the cut because I am happy with some small aspects - still really enjoying the painting part of doing Wade's scars for example (thanks again @woof-verine for that inspo it is just baked into my psyche now, and also for being a forever enjoyer of pointy ears Logan - sorry couldn't quite get the fangs in this time but they are there trust me!!)
ps. was listening to She Calls Me Back by Noah Kahan for this one. idk it just hits for me in my poolverine-addled state lol
#poolverine#he's just a sad wet angsty little guy (aka 200 year old perfect killing machine)#(sorry wolvie you're not a killing machine really)#(you're just a lil guy who wants nothing more then to kiss your bf's hands while he tenderly caresses your face)#(and tells you everything is going to be okay)#was listening to the song she calls me back by noah kahan a lot last night#idk man the lyrics just hit the poolverine brainrot so good#like???#“lost for a long time/two parallel lines/everything's alright when/she calls me back”#“look at me and dont you lie/I could be your sacrifice” “I do not exist to die/but live to die while saving you”#“does it bite at your edges/do you lie awake restless/why am I so obsessive/hanging on to every sentence”#gah it is so bad you guys#but also so good#anyway hope these make sense#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool#deadclaws#deadpool 3#deadpool x wolverine#poolverine fanart
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That one time a pose study (looking at art of pretty women and telling myself I was being productive) turned into Portia
#art#digital art#the arcana#the arcana fanart#portia devorak#Wishing all my fellow Portia likers a pleasant evening#At this point I just alternate between drawing Nadia and drawing Portia whenever the crippling brainrot and loneliness become too much to b#lol I hit the tag character limit#“Oh this is precious the straight guy has fallen in love with the only two options” *crowd laughs*#Earlier today I finished 100%ing both Mario Kart 8 and Mario Kart 8 Deluxe so that was pretty cool#That has nothing to do with the art but it's a solid reminder of why I have acquired absolutely zero maidens#My main build is Green Shy Guy in the Tanooki Kart/Leaf Tires and Flower Glider in case you're like the 1 person who's wondering#Oh and after posting this I'm gonna make mac and cheese and watch One Piece cause I recently finished Skypeia and got to Water 7#Kinda worried tbh cause this is like the one everyone talks about#Man I REALLY hope the Mario Kart 8 and One Piece fandoms don't get tagged cause of my yapping but that'd be pretty funny if they did#Man if you read through all these tags I'm sorry jhkdfvbsjh#Okay that's all have a good one
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EVERMORE by taylor swift (feat. bon iver) — “and i was catching my breath, floors of a cabin creaking under my step. and i couldn’t be sure, i had a feeling so peculiar, this pain wouldn’t be forevermore.”
my #swiftiegiftexchange2024 for @lovesickallovermybed!!!! 🫶🏽🫶🏽
#HIII HII HII how are you <3333 SO sorry for being slightly to the party but HII#i saw that you are currently recovering from surgery and i‘m wishing you all the best and =a faster recovery 💗💗 i hope you’re okay and#are feeling and getting much better every day 💗💗💗#i’m your anon swiftie and it was really nice to get to know you!! 🫶🏽 you’re super super talented and your gifs are so so STUNNING#it was such an honor to be your anon for this event and i had such a fun time making this !#i was SO excited when i saw that some of your favorite ts songs are evermore and idsb. really really sorry i didn’t have the time to make#something for both because my laptop went dead for sometime and i ended up only having the time to make this 😭#evermore the song is something i hold and cherish deeply in my heart too and it was something that has seen some of the worst of my days#and so i decided to do this song for your gift instead!#i can’t really gif much and couldn’t even try#because my laptop in which i had installed ps in went rip so i decided to make you this#(slightly messy sorryy) scrapbook of my view of the song! i tried to incorporate some of the descriptive lyrics and the objects mentioned i#the song and i hope you like it 😁!#and because i think evermore is also something that IS meant to be incredibly personal to the people that listen to it#i decided to include some photos (+added highlights on every lyric that has ever touched me which is almost everything as you can see 😭)#of some of my journal pages on which i rewrote the entire lyrics (except bon iver’s addition ��) in ‘21 when the song meant to me the most!#i hope you're having a great dayy love 🫶🏽🫶🏽#SwiftieGiftExchange2024#taylor swift#tswiftedit#evermore#*my edits#nadine.mp3
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You should in fact infodump about poptropica, also have you considered doing a DCA Poptropica crossover to unite the interests together?
1) I love you so much dude I hope you're doing well 2) poptropica infodump would take AGES this thing has lore so I will spare you a ramble for now 3) I . HAVE NOT. BUT COULD YOU IMAGINE SUN AND MOON WITH THE BIG BOBBLE HEADS
no? because I can
oh my god they look so much more cursed than I expected I'm laughing my ass off
#guys new au? poptropica dca au anyone?#where they just look like this thats it#my art#dca fandom#sun fnaf#moon fnaf#also friend if you really DO want to hear a poptropica ramble#you have to ask about a specific island#because just dropping all of the lore is way too hard#like first decide if you want book lore or game lore#(thats right there is a book)#and then we go from there#i could tell you aaaaalll about my favorite island though#cryptids my beloved#harold mews ny beloved#OKAY OKAY BUT YEAH YOU GET THE POINT#i fr appreciate so much that you are always asking me to info dump about my interests though<33 i love you so much#just know this isn't me trying to avoid talking about it there's just SO MUCH to talk about its hard for me to focus!#but yes thank you again man <3 i love you hope you're doing well#we should chat again sometime#ask#poptropica
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(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
#I've had the cutest interaction today#So like yesterday? There was this post I saw on my dash that was like “you want to know extra info about museums? Just befriend a–#guide! That way you can also unlock the Secret Backscene” and I was like. Lmao. Who could ever befriend a museum guide I've never–#even personally met anyone who works at museums?#... Well. Guess what happened today#I was following this guided museum tour with a friend and when the tour came to an end I was happily chatting with her when the guide.#Shyly chimed in and was like “is that an Atsushi keychain?” And I was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#And I was like‚‚ omg‚‚‚ Do you happen to know‚‚‚ This one series‚‚‚‚‚‚#And they unsheathed their phone like a fbi distinctive in American movies to show me their fyo/zai background amjdsgawsjda it was SO cute.#They were adorable. And I got so embarassed but trying to keep my cool while internally I was like‚‚‚#Omg the Cool Museum Guide™ is talking with me about my hyperfixation‚‚‚‚‚‚ What is happening#We talked a bit about the manga it was such a nice and sweet exchange. They said they like Dostoyevsky and I was like yeah he's so cool!!!#They said they're sorry about Bram it was REALLY cute (´;ω;`)#I didn't want to hamper them too much so I took my leave shortly after but I'd actually really like to pay visit again–#when the new chapter is out??#Hhhhhhh I don't want to look stalkery and like go look for them on their job. But also like‚ they looked genuinely happy and as excited as–#I was when we were chatting and I believe in the power of human connections through shared hyperfixations#The possibly funnier part is that then my friend went “Wait you're into b/ungo stray dogs??” and like alright. This is less surprising.#I already knew she likes manga.#What actually left me quite baffled was that... She really didn't know I was into b/sd. When it's literally what I think about 24/7#Something very similar happened just a week ago. My friend gifted me a manga volume of a series she really likes for my birthday#But when she was giving it to me she awkwardly went “oh‚ just‚ it features romance between two guys. I hope that's okay with you...”#And I internally had to pause and realize that no.#In fact most of the people I hang out with don't know I spend half my time curating a bl focused blog.#It's just funny in a way? I got so used to concealing my hyperfixations I didn't even realize I actually got quite good at passing–#for someone who is normal about stuff.#random rambles
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As per ONE mention that someone would like to see the Jan version of the Gossip Girl post, I have done it again. I have made a feature length film interpretating the "wimp-ification of Jan". I did not find the Jan post as outrageous and funny as the Nace post, so I had to over-compensate with my own jokes. (Video length 6 minutes) (the Jan post was literally shorter– six...six minutes???) (I can't control myself)
#joker out#jan peteh#i had every single technological issue that could have occured making this video#i ate so much candy while making this video#and i feel like i went crazy making this video#you get into a band one day and all of a sudden months later you're editing their faces onto a Fast and Furious clip???#i hope this video is okay#i thought i did a really good job editing Jan falling in the woods#again i also cut out certain parts of the original post because i did not know what to do with them#don't want to encourage the gossip girl lurker to strike again...but I do have fun doing these things...#added tags: I am completely unserious about wanting that account to keep posting things#I made these videos purely in mockery because ABSURDITY#There is only one thing that this account deserves#and that is pure mockery.#say stupid shit and get mocked
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you have my soul, you have my heart ♡
#LUCY#Band LUCY#Shin Yechan#Choi Sangyeop#Cho Wonsang#Jo Wonsang#Shin Gwangil#LUCY fanart#take 2 because i'm a distaster and posted this on the wrong blog haha#still figuring how out to tag these lol#kitkatart#i did it!! it's finally done!! on time!!!#well maybe not on time but in time lol#2022 encore concert live clip of flare my love#flare really is one of my absolute favorite songs#no matter how many times i hear it i fall in love with it every time#but this version in particular is so magical :)#i was thinking i might make a few freebies of the individual member versions for the vancouver show#do you think people would like that? i've never made freebies before so i'm not sure!#i think i'd be too shy to post about it and then hand them out but we'll see haha#okay back to chores and concert prepping again#i cannot believe i'm going to two lucy concerts and then have a work conference like two days after#i was only going to go to one concert but was convinced to go to a second at the last minute. to be fair it didn't take much convincing#this really did take forever but part of that is probably bc i haven't drawn anything real in like more than a year#also was i testing the procreate layer limit or was the procreate layer limit testing me lol#okay i'm done now i'll stop yapping :D#i hope you're all doing well!!#UPDATE: i did pass these out as freebies and also i got to give these to the lucys AHHH#I will never be over seeing them live and getting to meet them oh my gosh#they were soooo amazing and so so so sweet 🥺 other walwals at the concerts were also so nice!!
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Hey there! 🙋♀️
Don't know if you've noticed, but I've been away for a couple of days and it's because what I mentioned here has finally happened: I moved! 😄🥳💃
It's taken longer than expected, but this is gonna be my second night in my new home (which is actually my dad's place), and everything's going amazingly well right now! 😊 I have my own office to write and relax, and I'm still adapting to my new routine and such, but this place is giving me what I needed (not only my own space but also peace and silence), and I get along pretty well with my dad.
Also, I get to spend some more time with my boy Mauri since he lives with my dad, but I have to admit... I miss my boy Baloo so so much 🥲 We've both gotten used pretty quickly to each other's presence, as my mom told me he was also looking for me at her place even though I've only been away for one day... I know this is gonna sound weird, but I think I'm gonna have a harder time getting used to not living with Baloo than with my mom 😅
I'm glad I still get to see him of course (and my mom too lol), and he usually spends a couple nights a week at my dad's, so there's that at least. I'll get to live with both my boys even if just a couple times per week, but honestly, considering all I've gained from the change, I really can't complain.
Anyways! I've been away these past days because I really didn't have the time nor the energy to be online in general (a move is EXHAUSTING), but hopefully this weekend I can slowly start to catch up with everything I've missed these days. I hope you're all doing fine, dear friends 💖
Also, if everything goes well, I might bring a little surprise very soon 🤭
See you all real soon! Love ya! 💖
#the move is almost over at long last#but I'm still SO tired 😅#but I miss you! I really hope you're all doing okay 💖#hopefully I can catch up real soon!
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.
#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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Hi, i just want to say that if you discovered age regression through my art I love you.
If you keep coming back to my account to look but feel too shy to follow or like because you're tentative about getting into agere, I love you.
I know it can be so hard to let yourself have something like this, I know it can be so scary to think about what other people would think - but I promise you're not doing anything wrong. Seeing characters you love and relate to recieve care and tenderness that you may not have gotten can be so healing, and I can't stress enough that agere may not be as strange or uncommon as you expect.
I say this because I've absolutely been through the same thing - I remember looking through tags and fics on incognito or a silent account because I was scared I was doing something wrong. But it's been a few years now, and I actually brought up agere to my therapist in real life. She told me she was proud of me, she's so glad I found a way to not only comfort myself but share that with other people. And that makes me so happy!
So I just wanted to let everyone know - taking care of yourself is so brave. When you're struggling with certain things, it can be so hard to just let yourself have something that helps you feel warm and safe - and I'm so proud of you for giving yourself that kindness ♡
#idk im just thinking tonight!!! ily guys!!! i really hope you're doing okay!!#i hope you have sweet dreams. i hope you feel safe. i hope you feel warm.#squeaks#agere#fandom agere#agere fandom#age regression
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I'm frustrated enough with the criticism I'm getting, and I'm feeling petty enough right now, that I think I'm going to be mean to you all.
Whoever you are. I will be mean to you specifically, right now. Let's do this.
#several people in the tags are making excellent points and i am almost nodding along at them#but i just can't do it. i need to put some space between myself and this exchange. so i am taking it out on you.#hope this is okay.#if not i apologize sincerely#you probably deserve to be called an asshole. you probably really are one#i'm not even a little bit kidding. this is coming from my actual brain right now.#you don't know who you're up against
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
#seriously another shout out to my mutuals#id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being#and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting#bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over#and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic#sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals#like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful#so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up#than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess#they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds#so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW#okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE#SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES#if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context#but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic#and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF#okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this#ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day
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It's actually kind of heartbreaking how many people feel their life has ended right after high school or college, and honestly, the heavy romanticization of that period of time is so overwhelmingly predominant that it can be hard to avoid. It's insidious to constantly be told that ages 10-24 are the only worthwhile parts of life, that everything after is essentially meaningless and dull.
It's hard not to look around you and think that your life still is open and full of potential when you're told over and over again that the rose-tinted childhood is the last time you were alive. It's hard to realize that your life isn't over when you walk off the stage of your graduation.
We must realize that we will always be full of potentials. Your life won't be over until you take your final breath, and then? That's simply another chapter in your story, one of many. Let yourself realize that you're alive in the here and now. There will be good and bad, but never a complete loss of potential or hope.
#positivity#it's just... weird when you see somebody your age who says how over their life feels you know?#and i feel for them. i feel their pain and the emptiness of not knowing what's next or what you should do#and that's sometimes the scary part of life. but your story isn't over yet#one day it will be. one day you'll put the pen down and dry the ink on the yellowed pages and close your book of life. but that's not today#you are allowed to be an aimless spirit. you are allowed to breathe in without the crushing weight of productivity#the idea that your only potential happens when you're too young to realize it is wrong#your potential has nothing to do with feeling your youth and how little you know#it is hard to really internalize this and remind yourself to make space for hope and positivity...#...and you might not be ready to internalize this. that's okay. i'll wait with you (in a strictly spiritual sense)#we can wait together and not think about any of it. just to rest and collect our minds and feel the world hold its breath with us#all this to say that your life isn't over yet. you don't have to beat yourself up over not having lived at fucking 18#allow yourself the compassion to realize that you needed time to grow and mature and explore the world in your own way
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