#//here's a lighter post compared to that last post because i really needed it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

charlottesbookclub · 2 months ago

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quality time – a 'time after time' bonus chapter (armitage hux x reader)

time after time masterlist – (this chapter is set after 'by design')

Summary: Armitage has an idea for how the two of you can spend your time together

Warnings/Tags: gn!reader; set pre-TFA; mention of injuries; mention of medications; let me know if I've missed anything!

Words: 5886

Author’s Note: okay so this is the last part of the little trilogy of scenes I've been posting! ☺️ there's some nervousness/embarrassment here, but really it's mostly fluff in the end! 🥰 it's been kinda fun but also a little bit of a challenge to re-situate myself back in this earlier moment of their relationship when both of them are still a little hesitant about things, but I hope it still feels true to that era of the story! 💕

also, I maybe should have mentioned this earlier, but my posting schedule has finally caught up with the backlog of things I have written, so this will be the last one to post on a "regular" schedule for a while; after this it will just be as I finish things, so I'm very sorry for that! ❤️‍🩹 also though, in classic writer fashion, I think because I've been writing so much lately (compared to what I've done in the past) I'm now like very conscious of my own writing and I've convinced myself that it's not as good as it was before and that I just keep saying the same things/using the same language over and over again, so I'm going to try to take some time and work on the ideas I have and write them in a way that I feel better about, if that makes sense? but I think (or at least I hope 😅) this is a fear that a lot of writers have, so I think I just need to work through this and get to a point where I feel more confident about my work again! anyway, all that to say that my posting will be less regular now, but I'm always super happy to answer asks and/or do blurbs and headcanon stuff while I'm working on longer pieces in the background! thank you all so much for sticking around and enjoying the story! 🥰🥰

By the time Armitage’s duties concluded the next cycle, he had come up with a way to make his hour with you even more enjoyable for both of you. He was absolutely adamant that you should feel engaged, and although you truly seemed to like watching him work, he wanted you to feel involved too. To that end, he entered your bedroom with not one, but two sets of design paper and an extra stylus. You greeted him with your sunbeam smile and he instantly felt lighter. Kriff, he loved getting to just be with you.

He laid the supplies on the table before coming to perch on the edge of your bed. He had spent the last few hours working himself up to this. He so desperately wanted to, but he was equally terrified of doing it wrong. You watched him with soft eyes and a warm smile as he settled himself in front of you. With the was heat was gathering around his collar, he knew his cheeks were certainly quite red.

In the garden, his actions had been propelled by what he felt in the moment. Now he feared he was far overthinking things. He tried to make himself take a deep breath, but was not particularly successful at it. Knowing his ability to produce words was mostly nonexistent, he reached a terrified hand that he was barely able to keep from trembling up to your cheek. You melted into his touch instantly, letting him cradle your face in his hand. He was beginning to feel quite faint.

Before he could either pass out or talk himself out of it, he leaned forward slowly, angling his lips to meet yours. You made a little sound of surprise that almost made him pull back, but before he could commit to the action, you had leaned in towards him as well, and suddenly your lips were on his. Now even more than before, Armitage was painfully aware that he had no idea what he was doing. This was only his second real kiss ever. He tried to just let his mouth mold against yours until the glorious sensation of kissing you made his thoughts so incoherent that he barely worried about what he was doing anymore, all that mattered was that he was kissing you.

Almost without thinking, he let his thumb trace lightly over the underside of your jaw, and his other hand found your waist, trying both to gently pull you closer and keep you steady so he didn’t accidentally jostle your injured leg. You let out the tiniest gasp as his fingers pressed lightly into the soft skin above your hip, and he was about to stop again until he felt your fingers lace through his hair, and any thought he had of pulling away from you was instantly dissolved. Armitage was certain there was no drink in the galaxy that could make him feel this blissfully intoxicated.

Eventually you had to pull back slightly to gasp for air, but you left your forehead pressed against his, your hands linked behind his neck as you worked to regulate your breathing. It wasn’t until after he had pulled away from you that he realized he needed air too, finding that he was just as breathless as you.

“It’s nice to see you too,” you said after your breaths were steadier. The teasing lilt in your voice and slight tilt of your head were utterly endearing. “I suppose I didn’t realize the full breadth of activities I could choose from for my hour with you,” you mused, fingers reaching up to brush back some of the strands of his hair that your hands had dislodged.

It took him a long moment to process your words, but when he finally understood your meaning, it took everything in him to not collapse on the spot. The thought of kissing you for an hour was truly making him feel close to blacking out. The idea that you would want to kiss him for an hour was only intensifying that sensation.

“But I do truly want to watch you design too,” you added brightly, leaning back further so you could settle against the pillows. Armitage realized that probably meant he should stand, move to the chair, and prepare his materials, but it took him another long moment to clear his thoughts of spending a whole hour kissing you and to overcome the intense feeling of lightheadedness that those thoughts induced. When he finally felt steady enough, he passed one more adoring caress over your cheek – which you leaned into happily – before standing to ready the things he had brought.

As he pushed the table toward the bed and you moved so that you could see what was on it, you looked at him in slight confusion. On his side was the design he had begun yesterday, and on yours was a sheet of blank design paper. He sank into the chair.

“Are you planning to finish this one and start another?” you asked.

“No,” he responded, hoping you would be receptive to his idea, “that one’s for you.”

“Me?” you echoed in complete disbelief. “Armitage, I—I can’t design anything. I only ever took the one course and I don’t have… ideas for ships like you do. I wouldn’t even know where to start.” The nervousness in your voice was making him feel a little ill. Kriff, he didn’t want you to be nervous.

“You don’t need to design something,” he assured you quickly. “You can do anything: make a drawing or copy the shapes from one of your decorations or just make lines and spirals. I just—” He tightened his hand into a fist and looked away for a moment, gathering the words he wanted to say. “You can still watch me work, but I want— well, I would really like you to feel engaged in the process too.”

Stars, was that way too much? Designing things – especially with you there – brought him so much joy, and if he could offer you even a fraction of that, then he wanted to. But maybe it was foolish, or even self-centered of him to think that you would enjoy it too. But kriff, he didn’t know how else to tell you that he wanted to just do things with you, for you to have a nice time and be able to do something engaging and spend time together. Maybe he should have been more creative with his ideas, but designing things was one of the few things apart from being with you that he knew he truly enjoyed, so he would have had no idea what else to suggest. Kriff, he just wanted you to be happy, and this was the best way he could think of to show you that. But as usual, he found his attempt at expressing that to be awkward and halting. Why did he have to do everything in such a strange and faltering way? Stars, why couldn’t he just be natural at this?

“Oh,” you said softly, breaking him out of his spiraling thoughts. He chanced a glance up at you then, only to find your expression to be exceptionally soft. “Armitage, that’s so thoughtful.”

Relief washed through him. You thought it was thoughtful. You understood what he was trying to say. His chest seized with adoration and gratitude that you had received his awkward attempt at expressing his affection for you with such generosity.

“You can stop at any time,” he assured you. “Or you don’t have to do anything with it at all.”

“Well, I haven’t tried it since I was probably eight,” you laughed lightly, “but maybe I’ll attempt to draw something. So long as you promise not to laugh at me.” Your eyes were sparkling when he met your gaze, and his heart stuttered in his chest.

“I would never,” he promised, absolutely meaning it. He would destroy every design he had ever created before making you feel ashamed of anything. It was a feeling he was only too familiar with, and he was determined that you wouldn’t experience it – especially not at his hands. You beamed back at him.

“Oh! And before we get started, I had another question that I wanted to ask,” you said, skimming your fingers lightly over the paper in front of you. “How do you know when you’re done designing on paper? When do you digitize your designs?”

Kriff, he still almost couldn’t believe that you were asking him genuine questions about this, that you were truly interested in his designs and his process. Everything in him felt warm and light as sparks of excitement burst to life in his body.

“Most of my experimental designs don’t make it off paper,” he admitted. It was a reality he had resigned himself to long ago. As much as he relished the process of designing these experimental ships, he understood that the resources and time needed to produce them and train personnel to use them would never be justifiable. But perhaps one day… “It’s not realistic to produce most of my personal designs. So I don’t spend the time to digitally render and model them.”

“Oh.” You seemed truly saddened by the idea that his ships never took flight from their paper hangars. “I’d fly your ships, realistic or not,” you told him, and suddenly he was sinking into the warm depth of your gaze, the incredible sweetness of your words soaking into his body and leaving a glowing light behind. It took him a moment to configure his response.

“I’d love for you to fly my ships. If I ever produce any of them, the first flight is yours.” Stars, the very idea of it was setting off fireworks within him, cascades of warmth and light trailing across his body.

“I’d like that,” you responded excitedly, seemingly as thrilled about the idea as he was. Kriff, he was getting lightheaded again.

With one more bright smile, you tentatively picked up your stylus and turned your focus to the paper in front of you. Armitage took that as his cue to do the same, not wanting to make you nervous by watching you.

His eyes traced the lines he had completed the cycle before, recentering himself within the design and beginning to feel the ship under his fingers. The excitement he always felt when working on his designs bubbled up within him, and soon his stylus was flying over the page, building out the ideas he could envision so clearly in his mind. He could feel the gentle comfort of your presence so close to him, a sensation that only increased his happiness as warm sparks scattered throughout his body.

He was completing this first rough pass at his design when his datapad beeped. He set down his stylus and leaned back slightly to appraise his work. He felt it was one of the best he had worked up in a long time, a fact that he was glad to put down at least in part to your influence. Glancing up, he found you just laying aside your own stylus before you caught his gaze.

“That was fun,” you said, your words clearly infused with joy. “Stars, I haven’t done anything like that in so long.” Armitage was practically glowing, thrilled that you had enjoyed yourself – that was all he had wanted anyway.

“How did your designing go?” you asked eagerly.

“Quite well, I think,” he responded, lifting his work so that you could see. You leaned forward, eyes flicking attentively over the design. It was almost beyond his belief that he felt so comfortable – excited, even – to show his personal designs to someone else. But you made everything feel different – warm and light and wonderful.

“Even on paper, it looks fast,” you informed him, shooting him a brilliant smile. He was surprised you had seemed so self-conscious about your skills in decoding his work – you had instantly parsed the design’s main purpose, even from his messy, abbreviated draft work.

“Yes – yes, precisely!” His words were giddier than usual, but he couldn’t resist his own enthusiastic response. “It’s meant to be very fast.” Stars, he would love it if you had the chance to fly it one day.

He set the design down then, consumed with curiosity as to what you had made. Your expression turned sheepish under his expectant gaze, and he was about to assure you that you didn’t have to show him – even though he really did want to see it – when you spun the paper so that he could look.

He leaned closer, taking in what you had created. Clearly, you had opted for a drawing. The page was framed with trees that featured little animals clinging to the leafy branches. There were sketchy outlines of ships in both upper corners. In the center of the composition were two figures, and Armitage’s breathing threatened to stop entirely for a moment when he realized you had drawn you and him. You had rendered the two of you standing under the arch of leaves above, hands clasped together. He pressed a hand to his lips as his throat suddenly tightened.

He was looking at a version of himself he had never seen. He typically didn’t spend much time staring into the mirror except to focus on his hair, and the image of himself that he was most familiar with was his official appearance as a general of the First Order: proud, reserved, well-ordered, stoic, commanding. His fingers hovered over the delicate lines you had used to render your depiction of him, his hand trembling slightly. You had drawn a few loose strands of hair framing his face and had even picked out some light freckles in barely-there marks of the stylus. He still had his signature upright posture, but you had made it seem almost inviting somehow, his arms open, one hand linked with yours, the other raised toward one of the animals in the trees. And he was smiling – just softly, but still. He was truly struggling to regulate his choppy breaths. He looked so different, much kinder, more welcoming – descriptors he had never associated with himself. But kriff, he wanted to be like that for you. Was that how you saw him? His eyes were beginning to tighten slightly at the corners.

Then he cast his eyes over the rest of the drawing, following the line of your interlinked hands. Your posture echoed his own: one hand clasped in his, the other raised up to an animal in the trees. Kriff, even in the sketchy white lines, you looked so happy to be there with him, your eyes meeting his as you smiled back at him. Was this how you felt when you were with him? Oh stars, he had hoped so, but he had such a hard time getting himself to truly believe it. But you had drawn it, the proof was sitting right there in front of him. He didn’t think he had ever seen anything so beautiful.

He looked up then, desperately trying to compress the overwhelming rush of emotion he was experiencing into words, realizing he was suddenly very much at risk of crying over a drawing. He found you looking back at him with intense anxiety, your face already crumpled a little. His shock at your expression stopped any sentence he might have tried to form.

“Sorry,” you said as soon as you met his gaze, “I—I know it’s probably kind of… well, bad and—and maybe childish. You can—well, you can just throw it out after if you want to.”

Armitage instantly felt ill. How could you think it was bad or childish? Why would he ever want to throw it out? He fought through the rising tide of both nausea and unshed tears to try to express to you that your drawing was one of the most wonderful things he had ever seen.

“It’s beautiful.” It was a miracle the words left his mouth at all, but he pushed them through the tightness in his throat and the tears gathering behind his eyes. Your expression shifted into one of disbelief. He needed to say more. He clenched his hand into a fist beneath the table, using the pressure to force the words from his mouth.

“Can you tell me…” He needed to stop halfway through to attempt to clear his throat before continuing. “What we’re doing?” He gestured to the drawn images of you and him, holding hands in a forest and reaching up toward the trees.

“It’s… well, it’s kind of stupid, maybe,” you hedged, clearly still not believing his words.

“It’s not,” he insisted. Kriff, there was not a single thing about you or your drawing that was stupid. Realizing that his words were not as eloquent as he wished them to be, he reached across the table and took his hand in yours, hoping a gesture might convey what his mouth could not. You glanced down, watching his fingers fold around yours. When you looked back up at him, he thought he could see some of the embarrassment easing itself from your face. He swallowed, and the words came out strained, but at least he said them: “I promise it’s not.”

You searched his face for a moment, as though trying to measure the truth of his words, and he hoped that you found his absolute sincerity in his eyes. Then you took a deep breath, your gaze angling back to your drawing.

“We’re on my favorite planet where I was assigned for fieldwork,” you explained. “It was this jungle planet – not the one from the holofilm, a different one,” you clarified, a little smile creeping onto your face, no doubt at the memory of your first official date with him. His own memories of that cycle combined with the fact that you clearly remembered it just as fondly were spreading a golden glow within him.

“The trees there were huge. To be honest, before I was stationed there, I didn’t even know living things could getthat big,” you continued, a little awe in your voice as you recounted your memories of the planet. “And there were these little creatures that lived in them. They were mostly skittish of humans, but there was a preserve there where they were more used to people, and the conservators would let you feed them fruit if you came at the right time in the cycle. I only did it a couple times because I was usually on duty, but it was really fun the times I was able to go. So I just drew us doing that because it was one of my favorite little things I did while I was in the field, and I thought— well, I thought maybe it would be fun to do… with you. So I drew it. But maybe that’s too silly.” Your last sentence came out as barely a whisper, your worried eyes searching his as though trying to determine his reaction.

Armitage pressed his steepled fingers against his lips, squeezing his eyes closed for a moment as a sob threatened to escape his chest. You had drawn the two of you doing one of your favorite things. Kriff, you wanted him to be a part of that with you. You thought it would be fun to do that together, to share something that had brought you joy with him. Tears were beginning to gather in the corners of his eyes, his body no longer able to completely contain the emotion that was steadily rising within him.

“It’s not silly,” he was finally able to assure you, even if he was certain you could probably hear the evidence of his tears in his voice. “I—kriff, I—I would love to do that with you.” The words were so choppy and inelegant as they staggered from his mouth, but they were precisely what he wanted to say. The worry melted from your face as a little smile began to tug at your lips. Thank the stars that you must have been able to hear the absolutely sincerity in his voice.

“What—um, what are the ships?” He cleared his throat again, regaining some control over his senses as he indicated to the little shapes in the upper corners.

“Oh!” You followed his gesture, your finger coming to land over one and then the other as you explained. “One of the things about the planet was that the transport shuttles I took always struggled with the atmosphere, so whenever I would have to leave and then return to the planetside base, there would be a lot of turbulence on the way in that would make me feel kind of queasy. And I thought – well, actually I know – that you could design a much better ship that wouldn’t have such an issue with entering the atmosphere. I wasn’t sure what it would look like, but that’s what that one represents. And the other one is your updated design for the Star Destroyer, even though I think I didn’t do it very accurately. But we still needed somewhere to live, and the field bases aren’t always the most comfortable, so we can live on the ship instead, since I’m sure it would be the best Star Destroyer ever.”

Armitage instantly lost the battle he was fighting against his tears. He pushed himself up from the table, needing to do something with the riot of emotion that was bursting to life inside of him. Everything in him felt so intensely soft that he ached with it. He pressed a hand to his mouth on instinct to try and stifle his sobs, trying and failing to blink back his tears.

“I—sorry,” you said quickly, immediately bringing his focus back to you even as his vision blurred. “I can take them out if you don’t want them there,” you murmured, already reaching for your stylus as though to efface them from the drawing.

“No, no, please don’t,” he entreated, the words jumping from his mouth as panic raced through him. You stopped your motion to reach for the stylus halfway, but your features were etched with confusion. Armitage was consumed with frustration at himself. Kriff, why couldn’t he just say the things that he meant? Now you thought he didn’t like what you had done when it was one of the sweetest things he had ever heard in his life. He pressed the heels of his hands to his closed eyes, partially trying to rub away the tears that had leaked onto his cheeks and partially willing himself to try to articulate the things he was feeling.

He dropped his hands away from his face then, committing to his course of action. He maneuvered the table aside so that he could sit on the side of your bed. You watched his actions, your eyes still widened slightly with confusion. Looking at you again, being so close to you, Armitage understood he was very much at risk of crying again. Stars, he was so in love with you.

Slowly, he lifted his still-shaking hands to cradle your cheeks. You leaned into his touch instantly, a small smile growing on your face. He repeated the words he wanted to say a few times in his head before taking a steadying breath and attempting to utter them aloud.

“Your drawing is perfect,” he told you at last. He couldn’t claim to know much about art, but he knew it was the most beautiful artwork he had ever seen. All of the paintings in the Dentelles’ gallery would only add to a fraction of what your drawing was worth to him. “And what you said about the ships, and about us…” He drew in a shuddering breath as the beginnings of tears pricked at his eyes again. “Was so thoughtful and I’m so… I’m so touched.” The word was a paltry one for what he truly wished to convey, but at least it was something.

Maybe you could hear the emotion trembling behind his words, because the expression on your face was all softness as you reached up to cup one of your hands around his where it was still pressed to your cheek.

“You can have it, if you want,” you offered. A shy smile crept onto your face then. “I made it for you anyway,” you whispered. Armitage’s chest seized with delight at your words. You had made it for him.

“Thank you.” Again, the phrase was insufficient to convey the full depth of his feelings on the matter, but he hoped you understood what he meant nonetheless.

As your expression brightened even further, Armitage sensed that you were beginning to realize that his reactions to your drawing were not a result of him disliking any part of it, but rather from the sudden emotion it ignited in him that he struggled to properly process and express. He allowed himself to relax slightly in relief.

“Will you sign it for me?” he asked then, reluctantly letting his hands fall away from your face as he shifted to angle the table back towards you. “I understand that it’s customary for artists to sign their works.” Your answering smile was filled with sunlight as you grasped the stylus and signed your name with a flourish in the bottom corner.

“Now I believe you have work to do,” you informed him, a light teasing in your voice as you ensured he kept to your agreement. However, he could tell from the soft expression on your features that you wished you could spend more time with him.

“Right you are, Captain,” he acknowledged with a little duck of his head, his chest filling with warmth at the thought that you wanted to keep spending time together. He collected your drawing, already knowing exactly where he would put it. He could easily clear out the few things he had in the top central drawer of the desk in his main office. He could keep the treasured piece there, away from prying eyes, but where he could look at it whenever he wished – which would likely be frequently.

“Armitage,” you said as he was making to return to the main room. He turned to you instantly. “Can I see your designs again? The ones from last cycle?”

“Certainly,” he agreed immediately. He wasn’t certain why you would want to look at them again, but the very thought that you did was sending sparks of excitement racing through him.

He walked briskly to the desk, placing your drawing on top as a reminder to take it with him when he left next cycle. He pulled open the drawer with his designs and withdrew the papers before returning to your room and placing them on the table next to you. You responded with a beaming smile.

“Can I get you anything else?” he asked, scanning the area to make sure everything you might need was within your reach. You looked around as well, seemingly searching for something in particular.

“My puzzle box?” You voice lifted into a question as you glanced around again and couldn’t locate it. Armitage’s eyes flicked quickly around the space. You had had it when he left for his duties, so it couldn’t have gone that far. Then he saw it tucked away behind your empty nutritive beverage bottles, which reminded him that he should clear those out of your way too. It must have gotten moved when he had arranged the papers on the table earlier.

He drew it out from behind the bottles, and you reacted with a little sigh of relief, holding out your hands for it. A shot of glowing warmth passed through him at your clear excitement. Then he recalled your reaction to first receiving the box and realized how closely it mirrored his own to seeing your drawing and hearing you talk about it. He couldn’t quite articulate what that idea meant, even to himself, but he knew it caused that same thought from last cycle to pass through him again: everything he felt for you, you felt for him as well.

He felt a little unsteady then, trying to hide how his breath was suddenly stuttering in his chest as he eased the puzzle box into your waiting hands. You took it carefully, gracing him with a warm smile that wasn’t helping him to regulate his breathing. Barely stopping to think about his next movement, he leaned in and placed an adoring kiss on your temple. You sighed happily against the gentle press of his lips and he had to rest a hand lightly against the table as he pulled away, making sure he didn’t stagger.

“Good luck with your work!” You echoed your words from before, still smiling softly. Again, all he could muster for a response was a little duck of his head as he retreated back to the desk to begin his work.

When your lights dimmed, he stood immediately to ready your late cycle medications and spend as many more minutes with you as he could before the sedative effects of your painkillers kicked in. He reentered your room to find you clearly expecting him, smiling excitedly. The expression tugged a smile from his own lips as he came to sit on the edge of your bed once more. You held the puzzle box out for his inspection.

“I completed it!” you announced. Your joy was absolutely infectious. Armitage could feel his smile widen as he took the box and found that, indeed, you had gotten the metal ball all the way to the end of the track.

“Incredible work,” he congratulated you, and you beamed at his praise.

“Will you design me another one?” you asked eagerly. “Only if you have time of course,” you added quickly. Armitage’s heart was threatening to fly from his chest at the genuine excitement in your voice. Kriff, he would design you a thousand more if you wanted them.

“Happily,” he assured you. “But I’m afraid you’re not quite done with this one yet.” He tried his best to infuse a light teasing into his voice, a tone that was still somewhat unfamiliar to him. You tilted your head in an expression that he always adored, your face folded with confusion.

“But I got it to the other end,” you told him. “And I promise I didn’t cheat.”

“No, I know you didn’t,” he responded. “But…” His voice trailed off as his fingers found the lever to pop the drawer open and reveal the ball within. Then in one deft movement, he turned the drawer over and clicked it back closed, flipping the whole box as he did so. Your mouth popped open as you stared at the box for a long moment before taking it back from him, the brush of your fingers so warm and welcome against his. You were still looking at the box, and Armitage was about to explain what he had done, but you beat him to it.

“There’s a second, secret track that goes back the opposite way.” You flicked your eyes up to his, a mixture of disbelief and amusement in your gaze. He nodded in confirmation. You shook your head slightly.

“Un-kriffing-believable,” you murmured. “Stars, Armitage you’re so kriffing smart.”

Armitage suddenly needed to brace one of his hands against the mattress as heat rose into his cheeks and he started to feel a bit breathless. He swallowed and tried to recover himself enough to speak.

“So are you,” he insisted, “you figured the first track out incredibly quickly.” He had not made the puzzle particularly easy, and although he knew you were intelligent, you had still solved it even faster than he had predicted. A shy smile crept onto your face at his words.

“I’ll have to see if I can break my record with the second track,” you joked, already giving the box a little experimental tilt. “Is it easier or harder than the first one?”

“About the same.”

You let out a thoughtful hum at his response, apprising the box one more time before setting it back on the table. Armitage rose to collect your medications.

“Are you coming to bed soon?” you asked when he had turned around to hand you the meds and some water. A list of the tasks he should probably complete was assembling itself in his head until it was blown apart by the hopeful look in your eyes. There wasn’t anything that was actually that vital to complete before next cycle, it was mostly just his usual habit of working ahead.

“Yes, I just need to wrap up a couple of things,” he assured you softly. Your answering look of absolute delight sent a humming warmth throughout his whole body.

“I’ll probably be out in a few minutes thanks to the meds,” you joked as you swallowed the last capsule, “so I’ll tell you to sleep well now.” Your face folded into a soft smile. His breath was uneven as it left his mouth.

“I hope you sleep well too,” he responded, only able to make the words come out as a whisper.

“I always sleep well when you’re here,” you murmured.

Almost everything in Armitage was rendered momentarily nonfunctional. Before he could even think, his lips were pressed softly to yours and you let out the tiniest exclamation of surprise before melting easily into him, a little contented sigh easing its way from your mouth. It had never occurred to Armitage that he would ever be able to share this kind of domestic intimacy with anyone. He was used to sleepless rest periods where his most faithful companions were his datapad and a cup of caf, not to wishing someone peaceful sleep and sealing that wish with a kiss. The blissful reality of it was so foreign to everything that he had ever expected for himself, but also so utterly and completely beloved that it left him shaking slightly as he eventually pulled away from the gentle, tender kiss. Your smile was almost unimaginably soft as he stepped back slightly.

“Now go finish your work,” you urged him after a moment, “so you can come to bed.”

He complied happily after pressing one more soft kiss to your forehead that elicited an irresistible, sleepy smile from you. He wrapped up his tasks as quickly as he could manage, taking one more adoring look at your drawing before positioning it so that he would be sure to remember it when he left for his duties next cycle.

As you had predicted, you were already sleeping peacefully when he slid beneath the covers beside you, a privilege that still ignited a warm hum within him that was so intense he thought sometimes he must be glowing with it. Trying to match his breathing to yours as he often did, he was able to coax himself to sleep. He dreamed of visiting a planet he had never seen, but you were there with him, hand happily clasped in his as he walked beneath giant trees with you, animals chattering in the branches above and the scent of ripe fruit all around.

#charlotte writes #time after time (hux x reader)#time after time bonus chapters #armitage hux x reader #general hux x reader #hux x reader #general hux fanfic #general hux fanfiction #armitage hux x you #general hux x you

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bengiyo · 2 years ago

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Step By Step Ep 8 Stray Thoughts

Last week on HR Violations, Pat and Put started dating again, but immediately ran into trouble when Pat didn’t have as cute a time making ramen for Put as he did for Jeng. They wrapped up this advertisement shoot, and had Jeng crush one of the managers for being a terror on set. Put ended up feeling like he was on the outs with Pat multiple times, and is definitely aware that something is going on with Jeng and Pat. Chot was our hero as always, and kept anyone from doing anything untoward while Pat was especially drunk, but it didn’t stop Pat from flirting hard with Jeng. Jeng is barely holding on to any sense of decorum with Pat. Meanwhile, Jaab is quite upset with Jen, and has been putting distance between them.

Did Put just say “I love you” like he was activating a trap card? BRO

I think this is very adult of Pat. He knows that he can’t reunite with Put the way either of them wants, and is putting an end to it. Even here, Put is showing why it won’t work. It doesn’t matter if Pat is into someone else now. Put has no rights over that.

Even if he’s playing a difficult character here, by love for Up Poompat is unchanging.

Chot remains my favorite.

LET’S DISCUSS THIS BROWN SUIT ON JENG. This man wears suits so well. I love that the blue in his tie is lighter than his shirt.

We’re using the side couple pretty decently here. Pat and Put are handling their breakup as professionally as possible. Meanwhile, Jaab and Jen are beefing on set.

Lol, never mind about Put. He’s intentionally sowing discord between Pat and Jeng now. Threatening to out Jeng if he moves on Pat is low.

Ae is so funny. “I want my baby to look like Pat. Not you.”

I’m glad Pat’s friends made him realize he cancelled a date.

Not Jeng having a sad, drunk dinner!

No, Jeng! Don’t give up on Pat yet!

Jeng’s friend called him right out on his crush on Pat.

Oh hey we get Jeng in a towel. That’s right, sir. You better look cute for your not-date.

I’m going to need to write a whole separate post about food ordering comparing this not-date with the dinner date from La Pluie Episode 4.

My man Jeng is going to lose it.

This man had them rearrange a whole section of the damn restaurant for him!

Jeng don’t talk about work on your not-date!

If they had to have anyone crash on their not-date, they’re lucky it’s Chot.

I love Chot so much. I also get mad when these kids make me run after them.

Well if it isn’t Oishii keeping the lights on in BL once more.

Pat is going to kill this man with all of these flirty allusions. I’m gonna need Pat to give this man something else to choke on before this show ends…

I did not know I needed Jeng’s internal monologue, but this has been an absolute joy this episode.

Pat having a mini-breakdown because he saw Put’s pictures is so real.

My man Jen is imagining scenarios on his date. Valid.

Okay, Ben didn’t have to bite on that straw like that…

What is this goddamn speakeasy Jeng took him to!?!

You know Jeng must be sprung over Pat because you not getting my clumsy ass on the dance floor.

Does everyone know about this bar??

Oh, Pat. Just like a gay to be crying on the dance floor of a secret gay club.

That was such a gentle confession from Jeng, and I don't even know if Pat really processed it.

Jeng has a hot ex and he's the damn tailor from The Tuxedo!!

Not Pat and Jaab both vomiting in the bathroom.

Oh, Pat, I totally understand you, baby boy.

I totally get Pat not reading Jeng before this moment. When you're gay and have a crush on someone you know you're not supposed to, you learn to ignore the wishfulness rising in you. I'm so excited to see how he handles the reality that Jeng has been flirting with him for months.

#step by step #step by step meta #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

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triplefrustration · 1 year ago

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i've got like. five different books i'm in the middle of reading right now LOL they all scratch different itches. im going to try to read 52 books this year which seems like a lot but half of what i read are graphic novels so it's not that bad, im already ahead of schedule. maybe i'll post little blurbs on my thoughts as i finish each (would probably be a good brain exercise). "shelving" anything i don't plan on finishing any time soon.

At 30 I Realized I Had No Gender - a memoir by a 50 y/o intersex person living in japan. it's been interesting to see cultural similarities and differences, as well as a perspective from an older trans person, and is usually what i pick up when i want something lighter. it's fun to read just hasn't sunk its claws into my brain like some other books (including books i've read recently that i hated)

Akira Vol 1 - reading through the entire series this year. hasnt grabbed me quite the same way the movie did, i think because what got me obsessed (and i mean a literal obsession) with the movie was a lot of the mood set by music and artistic choices. sup early on, but again my hang up here is just that it hasnt hooked me emotionally so far

The Dispossessed - ok SORRY. im having trouble with this one. i havent read a lot of le guin, my main engagement with her work is omelas. still very early into this one, but the writing style feels very detached and reserved compared to omelas. i assume of course the voices for each piece were developed specifically for the needs of each, which are VERY different but idk. i hope it picks up, if it doesn't i'll try earthsea and if i don't like that le guin just may not be for me:/

goodnight punpun vol 1 - grabbed this on a whim at a local bookstore today, has been on my list for a LONG time. it's great so far as expected. i generally know that the story gets really dark, and seeing the tone i understand why people get so distinctly unsettled by it. excited to keep reading:) since this one has my attention the most right now it's my book of the week

capitalist realism is there no alternative - i have like one chapter of this left LOL. im awful about reading theory but im just trying to remember how to use me noggin right so i'll worry about nonfiction later. might finish this as a commute audiobook. would shelve this but since i have so little of it left i might as well try and finish it soon

house of leaves - i was so excited to read this last year when i decided to start reading again i picked it up immediately. unfortunately i am still regrowing the brain cells necessary to follow this competently for the time being. SHELVED!

#at 30 i realized i had no gender #akira #the dispossessed #goodnight punpun #capitalist realism #house of leaves #shou arai #katsuhiro otomo #ursula k le guin #inio asano #mark fisher #mark z danielewski #reading log

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never-not-ever · 6 months ago

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Night before/Admission Day

Of course we're not starting things out on a good note. It was mild, nothing compared to a month ago and how bad it could be but I didn't go to the ER. Honestly I was so done with everything and I think I had a mentality of "if they want to send me out the minute I get to the CEC then fine".

Trying to think of the night before it gets fuzzy which is weird cause I don't think I drank with the ativan. Maybe I did? I have this memory of going back and forth sipping cream soda and hard cider. But I can't remember if it was that night or another night. I remember taking 2 pills with celsius and I think I made a post about it on here if the two cancel out? But I can't remember taking the other 2/last 2 pills I had left.

Honestly it would explain the void in my memory. Like I didn't go to sleep, didn't even try to sleep that night yet I can't remember the hours up until I showered around 8:30? I actually think I was running late and was afraid I'd be late to my 10am admission, but like what would it have mattered if I was lol. I have a time stamp of the scale at 9:14am. Which speaking of that horrible thing... Ugh last year when I went inpatient it I was 36lbs lighter!! Jesus christ. I'm only up 15lbs since the day I discharged back in August. Which means I gained 20lbs during my entire admission. But my weight was constantly going up and down. I remember back in January I weighed less. I never did the weigh ins on Sunday the entire time I was here. Except occasionally but I made it a "blind weight for them" and weighed myself like in the corner so they couldn't see the number.

Okay moving off the topic of weight which has nothing to do with this post....

The night before I came here I kept procrastinating cleaning and laundry and packing and even when I had all my clothes and luggage in the kitchen on the table and counters I was still putting it off and getting distracted with other things. I think I ended up doing a last minute rush job with vacuuming in my living room. I kind of sort of remember showering and getting ready in the bathroom but the hours before that.. nothing.

I do remember on the drive here I was so tired and we were at a red light and I dozed off and my Nana got so worried.

I was afraid I was bringing too much. Looking at that picture I know the suitcase had clothes, that blue tied handle bag was food and snacks and my tumbler but that black floral bag... I don't even remember what I put in it.

When I got to the Clinical Evaluation Center they take everything (obviously) including my phone. I couldn't even keep a book which was strange but I just ended up sleeping or trying to.

They did my covid test which hurt like a bitch. Funny how some people aren't as invasive and others it feels like torture. Then she gave me a mask (absolute idiot) until my test came back.

I don't even remember the actual intake sessions just that the first one was with an MHS and the second was with a nurse. During all the waiting I hung out in the tv/lounge room and the chairs reclined which was nice. I got a blanket and pillow and tried to nap. I think I snacked on like a banana and pieces of a very dry blueberry muffin. Then I met with a doctor and talking about meds was fuzzy cause I told her how I stopped them and wasn't really taking them but then said how I'd take my prn and sleeping med occasionally.

I think I finally got up to the unit a little before 2pm because I remember the announcement for the 2pm fresh air walk. I saw some familiar faces especially when I had to wait in the hallway while my room was being cleaned. I saw the two girls (ones actually a few years younger than me and one is like in her 50s lol) saying "girls" sounded weird and like I needed to clarify.

The charge nurse who I always thought didn't like me did my intake and she was super nice and kept saying "hun/honey". She says that to everyone but it made me feel nice. It was very quick, she said something like "do you want me to go over everything or...." and I asked if there were any new rules and she said no and so that was that. She looked at the cuts and scratches on my chest from earlier that morning. I do know that I was honest and mentioned it downstairs in the CEC during my intake but they didn't ask to look at it. Maybe they thought it was the same as my (uncovered) chest and not that bad. But the nurse on the unit put a med consult in to make sure it wasn't infected, it's not, it never is.

I finally got to my room and ironically its one of the ones I was in the last time I was here. Unfortunately it's on the side where you can see in when the door is open. I was on this side for a few weeks in October last year and then I was switched to a single in November while on the 1:1 and after that I was switched back into this room but was on the other side luckily. I was in this room for I think 2 months, the majority with my friend who's still here. It was this room that had mold in it. Right near my bed lmao, and we had to move out.

Anways back to yesterdays boring chain of events. Once I got to my room I immediately tried to take a nap. By this point it was like 2:30ish cause I remember briefly seeing the checks person start her hour. She was one of my favs last time. I tried to sleep but it was so uncomfortable with these hospital pillows and the blanket and pillow I brought had to go through the dryer for 30 mins and I guess it was a busy time in the laundry room. I was trying to avoid having to leave my room but I ended up going to the nurses station to ask for my pillow/double check the stupid rule of it needing to go in the dryer...

I forget what time it was but when one of the cousnelors started her rounds on checks and was all nice and "hey Deb, do you need anything" I asked if she could check on when they'd be able to go through my belongings. Then a little bit later, I honestly don't think it was that much later but two counselors came in with all my stuff and started going through it. I liked those two so it was nice to see them again. We chatted a little while they went through things and then one of them who was strict/good at her job asked in the end "is there anything I missed that's going to pop up later?" and I smirked and was like "is that a trick question" and she was like "just trying to cover my bases". But I didn't sneak anything in from home. I almost said to them "the only thing I was tempted to sneak in was a really nice pen" but honestly that might not have been well received. But it's true. I'm not trying to start things off on the wrong foot especially since this is a voluntary admission and I reached out for help. Like how fucked up would it be if I snuck in stuff to hurt myself with right off the bat. Granted I did that throughout my admission last time when I went out on passes so I know they have their guards up and might even think I still managed to get something in. I don't blame them.

Once I got my clothes and stuff I folded and put everything away. My nurse for the evening came in during my belongings and introduced herself to me. She's new to the unit. I think she came right after I left but I already like her.

We had a check in and I asked her to rebandage my arm because the charge nurse who covered it tbh did a horrible job 😅 and it was way too big and covering newer scars that have been so itchy and irritated lately.

After that I went back to my room and don't really remember the order of the rest of the night but I know I saw those two girls playing cards and got introduced to some lady and younger guy. Then my roommate walked in and they all seemed nice. It became apparant that I knew the two girls from a previous admission and then my roommate was like "oh youve been here before, so you're all set..." sort of trailing off a question of thinking she'd tell me about the unit/show me around lol. She's a little older than me and super sweet. I was talking to one of the girls how it's weird being in our old room and the younger guy chimed in and said something and then was like "oh you guys know each other" and I was like "yeaaa me, blank and blank go way back" and me and the younger girl laughed.

I made some ramen since I already know the food here is shitty. I mean it's not always crap but it's not the best. Last time I resorted to just eating my own food like microwable stuff and snacks.

I think it was around 9 when the older girl texted asking if I was heading to bed or up to chat and so we hung out for a little while catching up and it was nice.

Then I made some english muffins, watched a little Will & Grace and then headed to my room at 11 when they close the common areas.

I "got ready for bed" which I'm going to try to do more while I'm here, like washing my face and brushing my teeth. I was worried spending so much time in the bathroom they'd think I was up to something but it was change of shift and honestly I don't even care.

When I came out I saw this girl who always works overnights and she's the best. It was just a quick hello in passing but it was nice to see her.

I was going to stay up late but I was exhausted and fell asleep before midnight and shockingly without any meds. But it makes sense since I didn't sleep the night before. I also didn't know if my trazodone was even in the system just cause of the weird interaction with the doctor in admissions "I'll put x, y and z in for now and you can talk to your doctor on the unit about the other stuff" and I forgot what the "x, y and z" were lol.

That was pretty much it. As if that wasn’t just 10 thousand paragraphs 🙄

#personal #inpatient #started to reread for errors but it’s too long #good luck to anyone who even makes it through to these tags lol #of course you could always skip to the end and read the tags #🙄

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prettyflyshyguy · 1 year ago

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Ok place your bets how angry am I going to get at spn for their handling of S4 Sam because Dean's right.

"So far all you've told me about is a manipulative bitch who uh, screwed you, played mind games with you and did everything in the book to get you to go bad."

Yeah babey I'm tired, it's my day off, and I've braved myself up to tackle the tumultuous S4 because it's giving mixed feelings!!!!

You know the drill. Unhinged thoughts, commentary and screaming under the cut. I've been in full media analysis mode for the last week so it might get a little academic too, who knows.

A warning - I'm not enjoying the Heaven x Hell sub plot. I know, I'm sorry (not really.) I will persist as long as I can but you can't rip seasons 1-3 out of my cold dead hands because I'm clinging to them too strongly. They just hit the spot near perfectly. World's biggest fandom member disappointment, and proud, over here.

Anyway commentary bellow!

S4E9/10 - I Know What You Did Last Summer & Heaven and Hell

Ok so, this is a real topic, and I'm going to tread lightly here, but I appreciate the sinister undertones of Ruby coming onto Sam and him actively pushing back - he's vulnerable, abusing a substance, and she's actively taking advantage of that and doesn't stop after he makes it clear he's uncomfortable the first time. A boundary is broken and pushed through. Very icky. I have seen spoilers for Ruby's character (unfortunately!) and like, have to say, she got me. But I think I'd start to really clue in with this episode that something is deeply not ok - based on that one scene alone.

I am however, deeply worried, that the emotional manipulation is not going to be handled with the consideration it needs (especially with regards to a woman coming onto a man and being too pushy) and it'll be played off lightly. I guess we'll find out. But I'm getting defensive already. Appreciate that Dean clocks it immediately however.

On a lighter note - go psychic boy go

Anytime Dean makes this face I go mental. He looks like a concerned version of the Eyes emoji. Top 10 expressions I have too much fun trying to replicate in art. Buddy being dead for 6 months must've sucked you've missed so much Oh No.

Supremely embarrassed that it ONLY JUST CLICKED that they're doing a whole Sam's with the Demons, Dean's with the Angels thing.

I'll focus in on the most specific shit and then something so blunt will fly over my big idiot head. Amazing.

Ironic of course, and clearly intentional that its cause Sam was always appointed the 'better one' but that's only cause Dean purposefully inserted himself as the moral-fall character as a way to try and protect Sam. Obsessed with that concept, not so much with the heaven v hell stuff.

REGARDLESS, two angels rocking up and Ruby's immediate response being to turn on the demon eyes makes me wonder - is this intentional - did she choose to do this, was an otherworldly force compelling her to do it?

No I'm not just asking these cause I'm cooking up ideas for Sam to get more demonic nooooooo what're you talking about noooooooo

Hilarious that Cas and his mate rock up like "Hello we are literal fucking angels, we want this human woman please we're going to kill her now, please hand her over"

like they can't just yoink her regardless.

And this is starting to stray into "Why Shy really isn't enjoying the heaven-hell stuff in spn" - which I should save for an entirely separate post, but most of it boils down to the stakes don't feel serious anymore, the comparative power levels of character's feels unbalanced, it takes away ANY weight to Sam's personal faith as a character trait, and--

I'm sorry I just cannot get behind any of it. Really dislike it. Unfortunate. Oh well. Sozzles.

Heaven and Hell was a real hard episode for me to watch for a number of reasons and overall, I deeply disliked it, but the ending scene of Dean breaking down was extremely well done so huge props for that. Fantastic writing and acting all through. Much to consider!!

S4E11 - Family remains

The summary for this one looks. Fun.

"And what am I running from?"

"What you told me. Or are we pretending that never happened?"

OUGH. OUGH. AUGH. OOMF. ACK. AUGH.

I appreciate that unlike every ghost hunter I've watched on youtube, this show recognises that EMF readers cannot be completely trusted. 10/10 thank you supernatural. One small little line about the needle being wacky, and Dean noting that there's power lines right next to the house. Love it.

Nice.

I can sense I'm going to enjoy this episode.

I LOVE A GOOD GHOST-HUNTING EPISODE!!

Also love that this episode forcibly made the boys reconcile with the confliction of killing humans vs killing creatures, but the humans were in a way like the creatures (monsters), the same way the monsters can be like humans.

Anyway, tonal whiplash, yet again with this show:

S4E12 - Chris Angel Is a Douche Bag

The Winchesters need worksafe inspector fake ID because It'd be perfect for this episode specifically

I LOVE the three older magician characters. These guys are great.

WHAT

Anyway this is a good bit. This is a really good bit.

Yeah Sammy what kind of kool aid are you drinking?????

That was.... A weird one but a fun one.

Anyway I'm really starting to feel like I want to cherry pick eps but I'm going to hold off. Till I hit S5 at least.

Like I rabidly consumed seasons 1-3 like a starving animal and now I'm reluctant to watch episodes cause I know there's good shit in here, and each episode has some important development moments for characters, or relevant plot that I want to know about so I don't feel like I can start picking and choosing episodes based on descriptions yet. But damn. Lot more misses than hits for me this season. Seriously considering buying a dvds of just S1-3 cause GODDAMN. Loved almost everything about the first three.

#shy liveblogs spn #shy talks #not art

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cinemaocd · 1 year ago

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I'm very interested in your thoughts on foundations and products for gen x skin. How I miss the days of college when I would just tamp on a thick layer of Studio Fix powder (wrong shade, always), use a lip liner (Twig, always) instead of lipstick and then hit the town living my best life looking like a dry crusty ghoul. Being young really mitigated a lot of make up mistakes. Wait I got off track there...

Oh wow, I'm so flattered you sent this ask. I'm so sorry because...

Get ready...here it comes...

Insanely Detailed Make up Skin Care for Gen X skin Info Dump

So this is for typical post menopausal skin, which is my situation, and pretty much blemish free (I do get the occasional blemish when I do something silly like use lip balm or lipstick as a blush because they have the same effect as a cream blush, but often have pore-clogging ingredients), running normal to dry with a light medium complexion.

I'm a huge believer in skin prep before makeup. If you don't have your skin right, your makeup is always gonna look like makeup and it's probably going to age you rather than make you look younger. For over 50 skin it's all about moisture. All those bougie make up branded prep products are really just adding moisture. Get yourself a tube of Vanicream at the drugstore and slap a bunch on before you do your makeup. It works just as good as Charlotte Tilbury Magic Cream or the ilk at a fraction of the cost.

Skin care routine:

Micellar water: Removes makeup with gentle/sensitive formula (walgreens has a good knock off of the bougie French one in the pink bottle). I use it on my eyes in the mornings because over night oil and dirt build up in that area and it effects makeup performance. It does not irritate my eyes which are very sensitive.

Second cleanse: I Wash with vanicream bar soap in the evenings. Costs $5 and was recommended by my derm. A bar lasts months and I use it as a regular soap in the bath as well. It's just very gentle and moisturizing. I have stopped needing body lotion in the winter since using it. In the mornings I don't second cleanse because I don't need it. I just splash my face with warm water and head right into the next step.

Paula's Choice perfecting gel (a little easier to use than the liquid and better packaging but pricier). Amazing all around face acid, gentle enough to use twice a day even on my delicate little face. Improves almost every skin issue while adding moisture. The GOAT tbh. There is nothing at the drugstore to compare to it, sadly.

Cereve AM moisturizer with SPF. Another drugstore product. Under $15 and Walgreens has a knockoff that's just as good that's even cheaper. My whole family uses this stuff. It works for everyone really. If you want to have good looking skin into old age stay out of the sun and use sunscreen every day, even when it's cloudy, etc.

Vanicream moisturizer (Tube is under $20 and is huge by skincare standards. I buy maybe two a year and just slather it on in the winter). It has a light consistency that soaks in fast and makes layering it over itself easy. This was the moisturizer rec'd by my derm and honestly it's just so great.

Twice a week I end my night routine with the Paula's choice retinol/moisture barrier repair cream. I don't use it daily because it dries out my skin too much. Retinol helps with a host of skin issues, especially if you have acne scars. This formulation is great because it's very occlusive and makes a great last step before bed. You need to be careful not to wear it in the day though because it can make you sunburn. (Also it won't play well with makeup).

Lips: I love the Paula's choice lip balm with spf. My lips get so destroyed in MN winter between wind and UV. It has a slight tint to it that makes it a bit lighter than my lip color which has a plumping effect. (In general paler colors in the middle of the lip will make your lips look fuller). I also use Boodah lip treatment because it's plastic free and it works really well. You can get an unscented one, but it still smells like coconut oil which I like. (Scents in lip balms actually dry out your lips because they cause inflammation. Many lip balms have ingredients that actually GIVE you chapped lips...Burt's Bees I'm looking at you). Also I totally simp for Cereve healing balm. It comes in a small purse sized tube and it's just great for any irritated, cracked angry skin. It even works on diaper rash. Great stuff.

Foundations:

Most of the time liquid foundations are not recommended for older skin because they tend to be drying because the alcohols they use to let the foundation dry down quickly can be drying. For years I formulated my own bb cream by mixing a liquid foundation like MAC Studio fix with MAC Strobe cream. I've tried loads of BB creams but I feel like they never last on me, unless I powder my whole face, which defeats the purpose, my skin just gobbles them up.

I've tried ultralight foundations like MAC face and body, glossier skin tint but because those products are made to be applied and dry instantly they also have loads of alcohols. They are also just better marketed versions of pro air brush foundations, so if you like this category of products, check out air brush foundations. They are usually way cheaper ounce for ounce...

Kosas Revealer: This is ounce for ounce my most expensive foundation but I had a bottle that lasted me a year. It's the closest in texture to the effect I got from mixing studio fix with strobe cream but it comes in a single package with a pump. Applies best with a damp sponge, but I will use a dense brush when I'm in a hurry (The Real Techniques face perfecting brush is a fantastic drugstore foundation brush). Less is more with this as with all foundation. Do thin layers and build up spots where you need more coverage. (Or add in a color corrector or concealer).

Wayne Goss Cream Foundation: I bought this when it launched and I still have so so much left. I apply dots of it with my fingers and spread it with a brush in a stippling motion. It's a fantastic base for a cream blush. It wears like iron when correctly powdered. This is very similar in formulation to RCMA cream foundation which is what Beyonce uses on stage so you know it's bullet proof. It's just mineral oil base with massive amounts of pigment suspended. (This is really the basis of all pro cream foundations going back to the literal grease paint of victorian times) It should never go off. I think I will bequeath my jar of this foundation to my grandchildren should I ever have any. Also doubles as a concealer. (I wish Wayne would put out smaller/cheaper containers of this stuff. Then I could buy a lighter shade for concealing...). The pigment load in these foundations is so high, I actually don't think they are necessary for every day use. It's more coverage than I really need most of the time. I'm not on TV. Camera Ready Cosmetics sells samples of all their cream foundations, so if you want to dip your toe into this world of products without investing I would go there and try the RCMA or the William Tuttle...

Concealers:

I struggled with every concealer I liked being discontinued for a while. I was paying top $ for Lancome Touche Eclat because all of the drugstore knockoffs I adored disappeared. Liquid concealers should be really thin and have moisturizing ingredients. I think it's standard to say avoid them over 50, but products like the Kosas liquid concealer are very good and don't get that dry, cracked look that shape tape and the ilk does on older skin. I've used the Elf camo concealer and I went through many tubes of Maybelline age rewind over the years, but I'm just over them. There may be some newer drugstore alternatives, but I've been living in Bill Tuttle's blissful world of Hi-lite (see below) now long enough that I've stopped paying attention to new products in this category. I don't even use concealer any more...

Color Correctors:

William Tuttle hi-lite: OMG if you have light medium skin this stuff is utter magic. It masks redness and darkness, blending in with the undertone in my skin without flattening me out or making my face too red. I just can't explain it but it even masks my hyperpigmentation spots that absolutely no foundation will cover and many concealers fail with as well. There used to be a maybelline age rewind product that worked but it disappeared and now they only have the one for under eyes. Hi-lite's original purpose was to cover marionette lines for studio lighting which often makes those lines way worse. And it works great for that too, but it's just so amazing as a corrector/concealer for me.If you have a deeper skin tone with more darkness around your eyes, it may not work, but it worth a try. Tuttle has other similar products in different tints that I haven't tried. The jar is under $15 (Jones Road who?) and I have had it over 6 months and it's not even half gone. (Miracle balm is almost $40 a jar and it smells weird after a few months.) Hi-lite'stexture is perfection. You can do light thin layers and spread it out. It just melts in and disappears. Applies beautifully with a finger but a concealer brush is useful because it fits in the jar better. The brand also has a foundation that is $15 a jar as well. Sold at Camera Ready Cosmetics and some pro/specialty stores. William Tuttle is honestly the find of the last five years for me. If you take nothing else away from this post, check out William Tuttle. I lowkey think Bobbi Brown was using this shit as a makeup artist and one day realized it worked great as an overall concealer/color corrector on older skin and decided to make her own version and market it as miracle balm...

Powder:

Despite what Bobbi Brown says in the Miracle Balm ad, powder is a necessary step and actually your friend if you know how to use it. The main thing is to be strategic with placement and actually learn powdering technique that make up pros use and not what you see on on most of youtube.

Controversial take: I bake my under eyes and you should too. Here's why...

Cream products, which are mostly what we're using here, plus moisturizers/sunscreens are going to move around and settle in lines and actually exaggerate them. In the summer they may look shiny when you sweat which isn't great either. Powder will keep it in place and give you that soft focus/glass skin effect. Powder is also blurring. So it's keeping your concealer from settling in under eye wrinkles, acting like the Photoshop healing brush for you face. Another bonus for baking is that if you leave it on while you do your eyeshadow/liner it will keep fallout from sticking. You'll be able to just brush it away. Baking also lightens the color of the skin in the place where it's done. It started in drag as a technique to make highlights pop from the stage. It is so great in the undereye for this reason. No need to get a brightening concealer with bake...

My technique is I apply an eyeshadow base (really like the NYX ultimate shadow/liner primer) from my under eye to brow. Don't skip the undereye! The reason you need a primer is to create a barrier between your eye skin and the powder. (Eye liners and the heavy pigments in dark eyeshadows will absolutely fuck up the skin around your eyes.) Then I color correct with a thin layer of the Hi-lite, then I powder. I use a powder puff or powder sponge (Real techniques makes an awesome powder sponge) and press in the first thin layer. Then I pile it on with a fluffy eyeshadow brush and leave it. I do my eye makeup and brush it away with the fluffy eye brush or a small powder brush. That's it. If you moisturize and prime adequately it is not going to dry out the skin on your eyes. It's all in the prep.

Don't waste money on fancy powders. I bought a massive bottle of RCMA transluscent powder more than 10 years ago and I still have it. I use it every day. I recently bought the William Tuttle powder just because it was cheap and the container was cute. It has a slight pink cast to it, which is really great for the under eye. Coty airspun which is a drugstore classic is great as well. Maybelline fit me is a fantastic "finishing powder" which means it has a little tint and some micas for glow. I use a finishing powder sometimes instead of basic transluscent powder if I want a little more coverage. If you have a lot of acne scarring a finishing powder will be your friend. Wayne Goss and Mel Thompson (RIP) both have amazing tutorials for buffing/finishing techniques. The Wayne Goss Air brush is a god tier brush for this but the RT perfecting brush works great too and is cheap enough that you can have one for creams and one for powders).

Highlight: MAC Strobe cream, strobe cream, strobe cream. Did I mention strobe cream? How I love thee, bougie upscale scented product. Blurring perfection, added moisture, a beautiful soft focus glow that doesn't look like make-up. Mix it with a liquid and foundation and make a bb cream. Throw it on as a last step for a "no makeup" (lol as if) day. You can use it any step in your routine almost and not fuck things up. It's just so great. I use it daily and a bottle will last years. They will pry my strobe cream from my cold dead, gently sparkling hands.

Honorable mention for the Wayne Goss powder highlight which is such a beautiful soft touch glow that doesn't emphasize texture. Absolutely does not look frosty or powdery. Only downside is you have to also buy a powder blush with it, which is a beautiful product, but it adds to the over size and cost of the product. Fantastic highlight for eye shadow as well though...

Contour/blush: I am a big, big fan of cream products for older skin and there such great cream blushes and contours now. One of the best I've discovered is Phytosurgence Skin Spark in Condensate which is a deep burgundy red that works as a contour and blush. It looks like it would be too dark but when it blends out it just works with the underlying redness in my skin to look so incredibly natural. Sometimes I put it on and blend it out and can't tell where my natural flush ends and the phytosurgence begins. Sigma also makes awesome cream blushes, though pricey, they are huge and last forever. I've had a sigma cream blush for over ten years and it's still going strong. The coral shade looks great on everyone. Especially if you are sick or exhausted a coral blush will make you look healthy and awake. If I were gonna do Joe Biden's makeup, I'd use my Bill Tuttle Hi-Lite and sigma coral blush. He might get re-elected.

Eye Shadow:

Controversial Opinion: I wear sparkly/glittery/mettalic eye shadow over 50 and you should too. Here's why...

Life is short. Have fun while you can.

Charlotte Tilbury, Wayne Goss and Lisa Eldridge have spent a lot of time trying to sell you eyeshadow specifically formulated for older skin and they are amazing. They are also really fucking expensive. Eye shadow is some of the cheapest make-up to produce and the mark up is just coo coo bananas. The difference between $20 a pan eye shadow and $1 a pan eye shadow is the fillers, packaging and marketing. That's it. The main thing to look out for is the way the makeup is pressed and what the kind of sparkles it has in it. You want something that is pressed so that you don't pick up huge amounts of pigment sparkles at a time and get massive fallout which just fucks up the area you've worked so hard to perfect. (Don't get me started on what social media did to eyeshadow formulations to cater to influencers swatching on their arms...). You usually want more pearlescent micas which looks softer, but mettalic eyeshadows give me life and I won't give them up. Some less expensive brands that have good beginner friendly/age friendly formulas are The Balm, Colorpop and Karity. These closely mimic the drugstore formulations of the 80s/early 90s which were pretty low on pigment/micas. (Most drugstore formulations now like Elf or Wet and Wild are too pigmented and fillers are just not great quality so the performance varies).

Another reason for wearing eyeshadow is that it makes you look more trendy and youthful, I think. If you get your undereye sorted, you can make your lids look as textured as dragon scales up close and no one will notice or care in real life. I am huge fan of Pat McGrath and I have three 6 pan palettes and I don't think I'll ever need another PM shadow in my life because they last forever. Not a super beginner friendly formula as it is very pigmented. A little goes a long way with Mother Pat but if you are that person that can't go into Ulta or Sephora without slaying and getting compliments from the staff than Pat McGrath is your friend. You'll never get it too look as amazing as it does on instagram though because that's all in the lighting and using a super good camera lens.

Brushes: Look if you want to do eyeshadow you need brushes. I could do an equally huge info dump just on eye shadow brushes but the most basic kit is three brushes: a bog standard liner brush from anywhere in the world, they sometimes come free with eyeshadow you can even use a water color paint brush which is cheaper but will have a weirdly long handle; a flat paddle fluffy blender like the classic Sigma E27 and a dense round pencil brush like the Sigma E42 blender. Those are synthetic brushes, I prefer natural hair but that's a whole area and those get pricey fast. Sigma brushes are pro quality and they absolutely stand by their shit. I've seen them accept returns at their store without a receipt.

Technique: The best way in my opinion is to start with your darkest color and work to the lighter colors, not the other way around. You don't need transition shades. Most of us have hooded eyes by now and there's no transition zone anyway. That is what transluscent powder and highlighter shades are for! Use your liner brush to apply the darkest shade to your lash line. On the upper lash line extend it past your eyeball upward toward your brow. This will counteract the look of sagging skin at the corner of your eye. On the lower lash line go about a third of the way from the outer corner toward the inner corner and stop. Completely encircling your eyes in dark shades will make them look smaller. Use the pencil brush to blend outward, away from the lashline. You want it diffuse and smokey. Go in with whatever the main shade will be for your lid and you can either apply this with the paddle brush or use your finger for metallic shades. Press lightly and then drag very gently to activate those micas. You will get way better shimmer results with your finger than any brush, I promise. I use my pinky to apply my inner corner highlight. I usually do my brow highlight with a paddle brush. Now flip that paddle brush on it's side so the wide part makes contact with the crease of your eye and blend out the edges. If you've got a good powder/primed base it should blend really easily. That's it. It's like three little steps and I can do a basic eye look in under ten minutes. You've probably heard a lot about "hooded eyes" and needing special brushes, techniques etc., but where you fix hooded eyes is with eyeliner...

Eyeliner:

Controversial Opinion: I wear heavy black eyeliner every day over fifty and you should too. Here's why...

Eyeliner is not only bad ass, it is the biggest bang for your buck in the makeup world. Nothing else is so impactful for the time and money involved. It is also an invaluable tool for reshaping your eyes if you want to look younger...

My favorite eyeliners are pencils that can be sharpened. I have one gel eyeliner I love but pencils are my bread and butter. I have so many and I just keep buying more. They last forever. My oldest piece of makeup is from the last century and it's an eyeliner pencil. Favorite formulations of pencil are: Lancome Creamy water proof, Urban Decay 24/7 and melt. At the drugstore: wet and wild, rimmel kohl, Revlon photo ready kohl and NYX epic wear.

I use Rituel De Fille Black orb gel liner, which I've had for over three years and it hasn't dried up. The key with this is very thin layers because it will get crusty and flake off if you use too much product. It lasts all day, makes a terrific black base and smokes out like butter. Also comes in a spherical jar which is so flipping charming. Love this shit. (Actually really wanna try the new trixie mattel gel liners because they look good and lets face it trixie's entire drag is gel liner based...).

Technique: key technique for older folks is tightlining. I usually tightline my upper water line and the outer third of my lower water line. This emphasizes the eye without getting into issues with sagging skin and makes the lash line fuller which is an area that thins out when you age. The effect is kind of subtle, but the way makeup works is layers and layers of subtle changes. :) Pencils work best, but you can do gel with a good brush. The Wayne Goss #8 has no equal for tightlining. I then tightline the lash line all the way on upper lid and use a pencil brush to smoke it out at the edges. Always blend upward in a straight line toward the tip of your brow. (Beginner tutorials have you hold a tissue there or whatever. I don't think it's necessary, just practice.) If you have very hooded eyes, you may not have any real lid space in which case just skip eyeshadow and tightline. It's all anyone can see when your eyes are open.

Lips:

We are almost done I swear. :D

Not that much difference for ageing but life is too short to buy super cheap lipstick. Any decent drugstore lipstick will run you $10 these days and it's worth it. Bougie designer lipstick is the same shit, in nicer packaging and trendier colors. My favorite formulas are basically all of them but I have a fondness for covergirl, the maybelline matte trance (in the skinnier tube) and revlon anything. A little light colored gloss in the middle of the lip even with no lipstick just takes years off your face, I don't know why. I love the fenty gloss bomb and any of Trixies. Lifter gloss at the drugstore is supposed to be great but I haven't tried it. I'm still finishing that gloss bomb I got when it launched, lol. In general a lighter shade in the middle will make lips look fuller. Lining used to be critical when you get little fine lines around your lips, to prevent lipstick from bleeding but these days lipstick formulas really don't bleed much, I think. A dark "nude" lipliner will make your lips look bigger, but keep it to the outer corners.A MAC lip pencil will probably last you the rest of your life if you don't lose it.

Finishing Spray: Everything I said about liquid foundations using alcohol goes double for finishing spray. It's just different kinds of alcohol with other stuff like micas for shimmer, scent, glycerin and water. No other ingredients are really proven for finishing sprays because there's so much water it's like a homeopathic concentration. I make my own by combing a few tablespoons of whatever finishing spray is cheapest at the drugstore, distilled water and a few drops of glycerin. It helps with that powdered tight feeling and I think it does help it last a bit more. The hardest part about making your own finishing spray is finding a spray bottle you like.

And we are done.

Whew.

That was a lot but it was fun to impart.

#this is occasionally a makeup blog #tw: makeup #tw: skincare #don't like make up content don't read #none of this meant to imply that makeup or skincare are necessary or important #but many of us enjoy it and also like being able to shape shift #don't tell the church!#long ass post

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famouslyindecipherable · 1 year ago

Text

many of the nice things that happened to me yesterday

I had a really good day yesterday and i just thought I'd share. there's no point to this, almost all of it is uninteresting out of context, and im not gonna wrap it all up into something cohesive, but here's how my day was :)

first of all my morning started with me learning that some of my dad's photos from dashcon are Very popular to the point where if you google dashcon slenderman you can easily find someone's post of them, not to mention someone redrew a couple of the photos which was So So cool to see

my history of film class was pretty uneventful but my professor is an all around pleasant guy and i enjoy being in his class

then i went to get lunch (/breakfast. so really brunch) with my friend and it was some Banger Pasta. which is starting to become a thursday tradition bc she already goes to that place for lunch with our other friend so we go there early and when i go to class she just hangs out until our other friend gets there LOL

we were looking out the windows and we saw a little baby running around in a little puffer coat and she started chasing a starship robot (little food delivery robot, if you haven't heard of them) and she waved at it and the crowd (me and my friend) went Wild.

also this was expected bc i think it's their routine but three of my favorite professors in the film department (which i say even though this is my first semester having any of them LOL) also walked in and since my friend and i are both in film production one of them always points us out and says hi. the other two don't really say anything they're just kinda like :) but that's just how they are.

((also notably this brunch time is sandwiched between my classes with both of the professors who don't say much LOL,, i usually leave a few minutes after they leave bc me and one of them r going to the same place))

anyway after that i went to my editing class ofc and i finished up my edit of the hold up, i decided im okay with it not being particularly creative because it doesn't necessarily Have to be. sure mine won't stand out but that's okay, not everything i do has to be above and beyond

anyway editing is my last class of the day, and it was really really nice out (57°F, my favorite temperature ever) so i dropped by my room to put on a lighter jacket and i went and wandered around for a while

Then i ended up going to the library and i knocked out some stuff I've needed to get done, and After That i helped run a pop culture club meeting (im the vice president) which i usually don't enjoy a whole lot but this time we had bad fanfic night and the turnout was Pretty Great especially compared to our other meetings

Anyway then i went home and had some pizza. The end

#random stories

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leia-writes · 3 years ago

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got a request for frontman x fem player reader!

where she pass the squid game without much difficulties before the last 2 games, somehow she knew about the game being watched by the VIP's and talked to the VIP's in english and ig flipping them off ish? then the frontman kinda interogate her? ending is up to you. im requestion this with smut in mind but if you dont think it'll fit then that is fine! thank you.

with much love for your writings, V

of course, thanks so much! here it is, I hope you enjoy!

Willow

hwang in-ho | front man x reader

ao3 link

masterlist

song inspiration: willow by taylor swift

warnings: smut - 18+ ONLY

word count: 9,218

posted on: 4/2/2022

You walked out of the subway station, cheeks stinging with pain and your arm sore from throwing the ddakji tiles over and over. Although you were exhausted, you felt lighter than air as you palmed the bundle of money in your coat pocket. You’d just had the strangest experience of your life in the subway, but at least you had some money to tide you over for a bit.

You weren’t expecting the well-dressed man to approach you and offer to play a game with you. Any sane person would have brushed him off, but you desperately needed money. You’d never been rich or even middle class by any means in your life, but lately you were in deep financial trouble. The debt you’d started with was starting to accumulate into something bigger than you could handle, something that put your life in danger.

Even though you’d only earned pennies that night compared to what you owed, the man had offered you the chance to earn even more. It all seemed highly suspicious, but you couldn’t help but feel inclined to participate. If there was a chance to erase your debt, you had to take it.

But what exactly did they have in store for you?

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a delicious smell, coming from a snack bar across the street, and decided to celebrate your achievements with alcohol and food. You sat at a small table by the front window and awaited your food, wishing for a moment you had a friend to talk to or celebrate with.

You weren’t a very social person by any means, but you’d been feeling lonely a lot these days. That’s what poverty did to you. There was no time for anything outside of making money and taking care of your basic living needs. And you barely had any family left to talk to. Your parents had passed years before, and your only sibling, your older brother, lived out of the country.

So you sat alone, silently congratulating yourself on having earned some extra money. You took a deep breath and enjoyed your food. Even though you felt lonely, you were used to it, so you tried to make the best of it.

After a while, a man sat at another small table across from you, facing you. He was sitting alone as well. You glanced at him and were immediately struck by his handsome features. You probably stared a moment too long, because he gave you a wary look. You quickly looked away, your face flushing. The alcohol must’ve really gotten to you.

You tried your best to ignore him, eating and drinking and scrolling on your phone. You usually didn’t have the money to eat out like this, so you enjoyed the time away from home, feeling like you could ignore your problems for the time being. As you drank more, you couldn’t help but steal a few glances of the man in front of you.

You were mostly discreet, but you caught his eye a couple times, causing you to blush again. You started to become a bit frustrated with yourself. Get it together, y/n, stop embarrassing yourself!

You sighed deeply and grabbed your glass to take a drink, but in your tipsy state you completely missed your mouth. The liquid poured down the front of your shirt and you gasped, reaching for a napkin, but you didn’t have one.

You looked around and noticed the man staring at you, laughing. He was laughing at you. You froze, blushing, a mix of embarrassment and annoyance clouding your mind. The man stood up and grabbed a napkin, bringing it to you. As he approached you, you were finally able to get a good look at him. He was dressed in all black, his suit jacket looking more expensive than anything you’d ever owned. Why was a man dressed so nicely somewhere like this?

He held out the napkin towards you, looking you in the eye. Your face was bright red, but somehow he found it endearing and… cute. He’d noticed you glancing at him before, and had to admit he was having a hard time keeping his eyes off of you as well.

You stayed still, too embarrassed to move. He held out the napkin further towards you, an amused look on his face. “Here.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, annoyed at him laughing at you and at yourself for looking like a fool, and snatched the napkin from his hands. Looking down, you patted the front of your shirt as best you could. The man stood there and watched you clean yourself up, not even acknowledging the nice gesture he’d just done for you. If anything, you seemed annoyed that he was helping you. He knew you were probably drunk, but it was still common courtesy to at least say thank you.

Internally you cursed yourself for getting too drunk in public, and stood up to pay for your meal and leave. In your state, you hadn’t even noticed the man was still standing next to you.

You almost bumped into him and let out a small yelp. He towered over you, and you noticed he was almost glaring at you. He sighed, the amused look from before gone. “Aren't you going to say thank you?”

Internally you cringed at yourself for not only embarrassing yourself but also being rude. You sighed and nodded, looking down. “Right, sorry, thank you.” You moved to walk past him, but he stepped in your way.

“What’s your name?”

You looked back up at him. His handsome features were really getting to you, and you were sure your face was getting redder by the second.

“Y/n,” you blurted out and quickly walked past him, paying for your meal and rushing out of the bar.

The man watched you with curiosity as you left, wishing he’d had the chance to introduce himself to you as well.

~~~

In-ho exited the elevator into his main residence, noticing the screen already lit up, showing the newest players of this year's Squid Game. He made the call to begin the first round, and relaxed into his large leather chair. The players were getting ready to play Red Light Green Light.

As the round commenced, In-ho poured himself a glass of whiskey and turned on his favorite jazz music. He didn’t have much time to himself, being the Front Man, but when he did he made sure to take advantage of it. He enjoyed watching the players' reactions as the round went on, speculating on who would make it to the end and who would fall short.

As he observed the players, a face stood out in the crowd to him. A woman, probably slightly younger than him, who was slowly making her way to the front of the group. He couldn’t figure out why, but that face seemed so familiar to him. He watched as she made her way towards the finish line, strategically placing herself behind larger people to shield her from the sensors.

It was nagging at him, how he couldn’t remember her, and he found himself hoping she’d make it to the end. When she was almost there, she tripped and fell. There were only seconds left on the clock, and In-ho’s breath froze in panic. He watched her intently as she scurried to the finish line as quickly as possible, just barely making it before time ran out.

He let out the breath he’d been holding, feeling silly for getting so worked up over her. It was killing him inside, not knowing who she was. He quickly pulled out his tablet and began flipping through player profiles. He wasn’t involved in the recruitment process, so he had no clue who would be participating in the games beforehand.

After a few moments of searching, he stopped on one profile. He sat there in shock, looking at the photo. He remembered who that woman was now.

It was you.

He let out a quiet chuckle, remembering his brief encounter with you. Who knew he’d be watching you now. He quickly studied your profile, nothing particularly unusual coming up. He closed his tablet and got back to work, looking forward to watching you more, and hoping you’d make it far.

~~~

You sat alone at the same small table at the bar you ate at before joining the Squid Games. To say you were shaken was an understatement. You knew the salesman was suspicious, but to have participated in those deathly games… it troubled you to your core. You were lucky to make it to the end when you did.

Seeing all those people die around you clouded your mind with anxiety. How could something like that even exist? What’s the purpose? Although your group had voted to leave, you thought back to the players who voted to stay. You knew people were desperate, but that was an entirely new level of desperate. You never thought you were at that level.

But were you?

Now you were back to square one. Your debt still loomed over you no matter how much you tried to ignore it. And judging by the empty bottles of alcohol at your table, you were trying your hardest.

You took another sip of your drink and looked out the window, trying to clear your mind. After a moment, you noticed a familiar face approaching the bar. The alcohol was clouding your memory, but you recognized him as the man you’d run into last time you were there.

He entered the bar and, after a moment of scanning the room, made eye contact with you. You looked at him with surprise, but quickly turned away from him. It’s not like you were friends or anything, and in your state you really didn’t want to embarrass yourself again. It was best to just keep to yourself.

In-ho observed you for a moment, trying to figure out how you felt in that moment. Unbeknownst to you, he knew everything about what you just went through. He even organized it. And that same power allowed him to track you down and find you there. He couldn’t quite explain why he was so drawn to you, but he simply just wanted to see you again.

He walked towards you, noticing how you turned away from him. When he approached you, you looked back at him, unease written all over your face. As you blushed, he was completely enamored with you. He gave you a soft smile and gestured to the other seat at your table. “Can I sit here?”

Your eyes widened for a second. Out of all the seats in this place, he has to sit in front of you?

You cleared your throat and gave him a polite smile. “Uh… sure.”

As he sat across from you, you took note of all the empty bottles in front of you. You probably looked crazy, judging by all the alcohol you’d drank. You tried your best to push them out of the way, giving him an apologetic look. “Sorry, I… didn’t expect to have any company.”

He eyed you playfully. “No need to apologize. Your name is y/n, right?”

You nodded. “Yes. You remembered… I didn’t get your name though?”

He paused for a moment. Should he tell you? It might not be the smartest thing to do, but… “Right, uh… my name is… Hwang In-ho.”

You gave him another polite smile, feeling an awkward tension. “Nice to meet you.”

He smiled back and ordered a drink for himself. The two of you sat in a weird silence. You weren’t sure what to talk about. You weren’t a very social person to begin with and the alcohol was really hindering your social skills.

It almost annoyed you, how he just interrupted your alone time. You decided to just be upfront with him. “So why did you want to sit with me?”

He looked at you in surprise for a moment. Your earlier bashfulness had clearly gone away. “I just… remembered you from before.”

You scoffed, remembering your embarrassing moment. “And after all of that you still wanted to see me?”

He chuckled. “Why not?”

You eyed him skeptically, scoffing again and taking a sip of your drink.

The two of you spent a while sitting together and making small talk. He was pretty closed off when you asked him questions about his life, especially about his occupation, but to be fair you were the same way. It was almost as if both of you were just looking to escape your lives. You sure had a hell of a lot to escape from.

As you talked with him more and more, you wondered if you’d ever see him again. You really wanted to, but you also had to get your shit together. You’d already been approached to join the games again, and despite your moral objections to it all you were pretty sure you were going to do it. Even though you might die, it was better than trying to deal with it for the rest of your life and risk getting killed over it anyways.

The knowledge that you probably didn’t have much time left made it much easier to open up to In-ho. You didn’t have much to lose.

At the end of the night the two of you exited the bar, and you started looking for a taxi. You were beyond drunk at that point, barely able to make out the differences in the cars on the street. You stumbled forwards, thinking there was a taxi in front of you when there was actually nothing, almost walking into the street.

In-ho quickly grabbed your arm and pulled you backwards. You looked at him shocked and he laughed. “What are you doing?”

“I’m taking a taxi home.” You looked at him confused and offended.

“Y/n, there’s no taxi there…”

You looked around, blinking your eyes and realizing he was right. You smacked your head in shame, a little harder than you anticipated, and groaned from the pain.

In-ho laughed again and walked you to a taxi a little further down the road, his hand still gripping your arm. You looked at his hand and face and blushed intensely.

He led you to the taxi and made sure you got in safely. Before shutting the door, he leaned forward towards you.

“It was nice seeing you again.”

You suddenly realized you wanted to see him again, and almost asked for his number. But then you remembered the games. Your face dropped, and you leaned back in your seat. “You too.”

You gave him one last look before saying goodbye.

In-ho watched the taxi as it drove away. He noticed your face drop before saying goodbye, and wondered if you had already decided to join the games again. Maybe that's why neither of you pursued this any further. Since he knew more about you than you’d ever know, he could easily go to your home and spend more time with you. And you’d probably welcome it, even if it was a bit creepy. But it wasn’t smart for either of you to get any further involved. Your paths would likely not cross anymore, even if In-ho could help it.

~~~

Just as In-ho had suspected, you decided to join the games again. After seeing you at the bar again, it was surreal seeing you in the games. He was usually subjective when it came to players, but he desperately wanted you to win. Each round you completed gave him relief, although it was fleeting knowing what you’d have to go through next.

You were remarkably strategic, relying on not only your skills but manipulating those around you to your advantage. You made your way to a strong team for tug of war, and just barely made it out of the marbles game on wit alone. In-ho was especially worried for you after the marbles game, as you had brought it down to the last seconds before winning. He desperately wanted to help you in some way, but it went against everything he believed. And he definitely couldn’t get caught by the host or VIPs. So he resorted to silently rooting for you.

After the marbles game, you laid on your assigned bed, feeling defeated but triumphant. To be honest, you weren’t sure you’d make it this far when you rejoined the games. It seemed like one needed the best of strength, intelligence, and plain luck. Luckily you’d used your abilities to your advantage as much as you could.

You’d basically emotionally closed yourself off after coming back, otherwise you would have succumbed to insanity already. You rarely talked to anyone else unless you had to. You just focused on the ultimate goal and ignored everything else. Many times, you found yourself longing for the outside world again, and thought a lot about In-ho, but you had to put it aside for now.

It was time to sleep, for now, but you needed to use the restroom. A couple guards escorted you to the restroom and waited for you outside. You entered a stall and sat down, enjoying the private moment you had for a bit. When you finished, you looked up before exiting the stall, noticing the air vent above you. One of the screws was loose on one corner… after pondering it, you thought you might be able to loosen the others and maybe crawl through the air vent.

Looking around, you decided to just go for it. It took you a while to undo the rest of the screws, but luckily the guards didn’t suspect anything. You quietly set the vent cover down and lifted yourself into the air vent. It was disgustingly dusty but you started to crawl, unsure of where you were going.

You crawled for what seemed to be forever, stumbling upon random rooms here and there. The room where you’d won the dalgona game, random storage rooms, even a kitchen where you noticed some guards preparing food. It was strange to see some of the behind-the-scenes aspects of the games, it gave you more of an eerie feeling than you already had.

But nothing could have prepared you for what you stumbled upon next. As you crawled towards the next vent opening, you heard the voices of several older men. The scent of cigarettes and alcohol immediately flooded your senses. You looked down to see a large lounge area, the men sitting in couches spread out across the room. They were all wearing shiny gold masks in the shapes of various animals, conversing about the games.

“That marbles round sure was intense, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. I put a lot of money on the line for my guy to win.”

“Oh, don’t be so upset, you can place more bets later.”

“Yeah, just relax and have more to drink!”

“Hey, what will the next round be?”

One of the men turned towards a figure at the front of the room, someone dressed in gray wearing a black geometric mask. He was standing by a control panel covered in screens and buttons.

“Right. Let me explain.”

The man went on to explain the upcoming round. You became more and more stunned as you listened, not only to hear about the glass bridge game but also because you now had an advantage over everyone else. You had a moment of panic. What if they found you here in the vents? What if they found out you knew about the game beforehand?

Suddenly, alarms went off. The man in the black mask turned back to his control panel immediately. One of the other men sounded concerned. “What’s going on?”

“I… Just a minor issue. I will take care of it now. I can assure you it’s nothing.” He quickly walked out of the room.

You were sure it was because you were missing. As you crawled back to the bathroom, you internally chastised yourself for doing something so stupid. When you approached the bathroom, you peeked your head out, noticing it was empty. You swiftly jumped down and rescrewed the vent cover closed.

It was probably best to pretend nothing happened, so you went to wash your hands and dust yourself off as best as possible. As you dried your hands, the door burst open as two guards and the dark masked man entered the room.

You looked on in fear as they stopped in their tracks. The guards had their guns pointed towards you, but the other masked man put his hands up, signaling them to lower their guns. He turned to one of the guards.

“I thought you said you couldn’t find her?”

“I-I swear, I looked here and I didn’t see her. I swear.”

He sighed, turning to you. “Did you go anywhere?”

You held your hands up innocently. “I don’t know what’s going on, I was just using the restroom.” You were silently thankful the guards didn’t notice the missing vent cover.

He turned toward the guard again. “Stop wasting everyone’s time. Let’s go.” The three of them walked out of the bathroom with you following silently.

You were brought back to the player room while the dark masked man left to go somewhere else. Before you were let into the room, the guard pressed his gun to your back.

“I don’t know what the fuck you did, but I’ll figure it out.”

“I was just in the restroom.”

“Don’t act like I can’t kill you if I want to.” You could tell he was irritated, which kind of amused you.

“Can I go in now?” You looked at him, annoyed.

He pushed you forward into the room and you went straight to your bed. You were exhausted but unable to sleep, processing everything you just learned. You were relieved to know what the next game would be, but you couldn’t help but wonder who those men in the golden masks were. They seemed to be an audience to the games, even placing bets on the players.

Is that what this all was for? Mere entertainment? The thought of it made you rage inside. Real people were risking their lives just at the chance of freedom, and these people found it entertaining. It was absolutely sick. If you didn’t feel enough hopelessness already, you felt it even more then.

And what about that other man, in the dark mask? He didn’t seem to be like the others, but someone that oversees the games, and supervises the guards. His mask modulated his voice, but you could swear his voice sounded familiar to you. Maybe that’s why he didn’t scare you as much as the others.

You sighed, turning over in your bed. These thoughts overwhelmed your mind all night, making it almost impossible to sleep.

~~~

You and the rest of the players were led to a bright white room, with a row of mannequins with numbered vests in front of you. The voice on the speakers started instructing the players to choose a number. You looked around for a moment and found a few cameras situated throughout the room. So this is how they watch you?

The instructions ended and everyone was silent. While everyone else stayed put, unsure of what numbers to choose, you immediately grabbed the last number. As you put the vest on, you turned to one of the cameras and flipped it off, giving a resentful look. You weren’t sure if you’d get in trouble for it, but you also weren’t guaranteed to survive the rest of the games, no matter what you knew… so you decided to say fuck it and do what you wanted.

As the other players began to choose their numbers, In-ho observed you with the VIPs. They were immediately baffled by not only your gesture but also how you immediately chose the last number. It was obvious you knew more than the others, but to what extent did you know everything?

“That’s a ballsy move, choosing the last number.”

“How did she do that? They don’t even know what the game is yet.”

“And why did she look at the camera like that? What does she think this is?”

“Do you know she knows… we’re watching?”

In-ho listened quietly as the VIPs speculated on your behavior. What they didn’t know, however, was that you were randomly accused of having left the restroom the night before. Although there was no proof, he wondered if you had actually found a way to escape then. Did you happen to find a way to overhear any conversations about the game and the VIPs?

One of the VIPs turned to In-ho. “Hey, what happened last night, with the alarm? Did it have to do with her?”

In-ho sighed, reluctant to admit anything but knowing he had to. “Yes. One of the guards thought she escaped the bathroom, but when we checked, she was still there.”

Several of the VIPs scoffed, some even laughing. “Well, now we know of course she got out! And she heard someone talking about the game!”

In-ho nodded slowly. “It seems so… I apologize for the mistake.”

They were all in a frenzy at that point. “Isn’t it unfair for her to continue? She has an advantage now.”

“Ah, who cares, it’s not that bad. She’s making this even more entertaining!”

“Yeah, it’s not like she’s guaranteed to get out either.”

“She can’t get away with that, though, cheating is no fun.” One of them turned to In-ho. “Why don’t you take care of her after this round?”

“What, like kill her?” another VIP chimed in.

“Yeah. Who cares anyways. It’ll shake up the other players too, seeing her disappear.”

In-ho held his breath but nodded. “Of course.”

~~~

You made it past the glass bridge round with 3 other players. For a moment you worried you’d run out of time, but luckily the four of you made it just in time. When you went back to the player room, a few guards approached you, guns raised.

You looked at them in fear as one of them grabbed you and pulled you towards the exit. The other players watched you, confused and afraid for you, but of course there was nothing they could do. And at the end of the day, you were just another obstacle to them on their way to winning the money.

The guards dragged you down a long series of hallways. You were apprehensive, knowing this was probably because of your stunt with the camera. It was stupid, but did it really warrant all of this?

After a while, you left the light pastel colored hallways and entered a whole different area of the building, surrounded by shiny black walls. The guards took you in an elevator and you went up. Upon exiting, you noticed more of the same black walls, and a room with a large leather chair in the middle.

On the other side of the room was the dark masked man, staring at you directly as you were led into the middle of the room. He nodded towards the guards, who promptly left the room, leaving the two of you alone.

You stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do or say, especially given the man was just staring at you silently. Your face was covered in worry as you observed your surroundings. What exactly was this place?

The man sighed and stepped towards you. “How did you know about the game?”

You looked at him, worried. “I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He scoffed. “Then why did you immediately choose the last number?”

You stayed silent.

He continued, stepping closer to you. “And why did you flip off the camera?”

You let out a shaky breath. “I-I don’t know? I just saw a camera and thought about us being filmed… it made me mad so I did that.”

“You left the bathroom last night, didn’t you?”

“No! I didn’t, you saw for yourself!” You started to panic a bit.

He sighed, looking down. “If you don’t tell me the truth, they’ll kill you.”

You stared at his expressionless mask, noticing that his voice became softer. Again, you were struck by the familiarity of his voice. A part of you wanted to tell him the truth, but why? You had no reason to trust him, in fact, you had every reason to be afraid of him.

But you weren’t.

You sighed, looking down. “I… I climbed into the air vents.”

He looked at you silently, and you desperately wished you could see the face behind the mask. He seemed to be waiting for more, so you continued.

“I crawled through the vents and eventually saw a room with a bunch of men in gold masks, and I saw you.” You looked at him apprehensively before continuing. “I saw you explain the next game.”

He sighed, looking away for a moment. “Okay,” he looked around before continuing. “Stay here.”

“What? What happens now?”

“I’m going to take care of this. Stay here, and if you hear the elevator open or this door open,” he signaled towards the screen that worked as the entrance to the VIP lounge, “hide.”

You stared at him as he walked away, uncertain about the whole thing. What exactly was he going to do? Were you going to die? If you weren’t, what would be done with you instead?

When he left on the elevator, you felt overwhelmingly alone. Part of you was relieved to be out of the games, but you worried that whatever you got yourself into now would lead to your death anyways. It troubled you that you so easily trusted this stranger when you had your life on the line.

~~~

In-ho left the elevator and made his way to the control room. The VIPs were currently all in there, touring the facilities. Luckily, that allowed them to not see you get brought to his residence.

As In-ho entered the room, one of the VIPs turned to him. “Hey, did you take care of that girl?”

In-ho nodded. “Yes. It has been taken care of.” A few of them nodded, satisfied with his answer.

“Good thing no one bet on her, right?” They all chuckled, focusing back on the control room.

“If you don’t need anything else, I will turn in for the night. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow for the final round.”

In-ho made his way back to his residence, his mind swirling with thoughts of you. He wasn’t sure what he could do with you, but he knew he had to protect you from everyone else. After the games were over, he’d find a way to sneak you out with him. But would he reveal himself to you? What would you think of him? He felt a connection with you in the outside world, but this was entirely different. You’d probably be repulsed by him.

When he exited the elevator, he heard you scurry somewhere from the leather chair. After a moment, he realized he told you to hide if anyone entered the room. He sighed and walked to the middle of the room, scanning the room for you.

“It’s just me.”

He heard shuffling in the small cabinet under his jazz band figurines and saw you slowly open the door. You started to crawl out when he approached you, reaching his hand out to you.

You looked at him hesitantly before taking his hand and standing up. He held your hand a second too long to be comfortable, and you looked at him curiously. What the hell was he thinking about?

“Stay here, and I’ll take you home when the games are over.”

You were confused. “What? Why?”

“Those men you saw… they wanted you dead. So you need to hide until I can take you home.”

“But… what? What about the… the money?” You looked down, embarrassed, but you really needed the money, or at least the chance to earn it.

In-ho knew all about your financial troubles, and nodded. “Don’t worry. It’s taken care of.”

You looked at him, shocked beyond belief. “What? I… why? What’s going on?”

“Nothing, just take this opportunity, okay?”

You stared at him, bewildered. Why was he being so… nice to you? Saving you? Taking care of your debts?

“Who are you?”

He stared at you for several moments, taking in a deep breath. You could tell he was battling with whether to tell you something or not. The anticipation of it all almost scared you. He looked down and removed his hood, revealing his sleek, dark hair, not a hair out of place. He pressed his hands to the side of his mask and slowly removed it, revealing his face.

You were stunned. It was In-ho?

You stared at him, speechless. You never would have guessed seeing his face behind that mask, but… maybe that’s why you felt so familiar with him before. Still, thinking back on your encounters with him made you uneasy.

“I… did you know who I was before?”

He observed you, sensing you were uneasy. “Not the first time.”

“W-Why didn’t you tell me the second time?” You felt strange, feeling comfortable with him but knowing you’d been deceived in some way.

“What was I supposed to say?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“I just wanted to spend more time with you.”

You observed him, perplexed by his behavior. Clearly he had some standing here, enough to hide you away from those who wanted you dead, and enough to kill you himself if he wanted. Morally, you were opposed to everything about this place.

But he also kept you from getting killed, and had a plan for your escape. He even acted kindly towards you. Despite everything, you felt he was genuine in your previous encounters with him.

“I just can’t believe it.”

“I’m sorry. I wanted to help you before, but I couldn’t risk getting in trouble for favoritism.”

You nodded silently.

“You won’t have to stay here long. After the final round tomorrow, we’ll immediately go back to Seoul.”

You nodded again, staying silent. In-ho could tell you were holding back, trying to hide your emotions. You were overwhelmed with everything, unsure of what to say. You were thankful for his help but also afraid, and above all reeling from everything you’d gone through.

In-ho reached forward to hold your hand. “I know it’s been hard. I’m sorry. I know exactly what you’re going through… I went through the games too.”

You looked at him, surprised at the sudden touch. “Really?”

He nodded. “I won.”

You let out a soft breath. “I guess I’m lucky I ran into you that night.”

In-ho smiled softly. “I’m glad I did.”

~~~

In-ho let you get settled in as best as you could. He brought you to a room you could sleep in for the night, just across from his room. You were still in your dirty outfit from playing the games, so he gave you one of his black shirts and a loose set of sweatpants for you to change into, after taking a shower.

You stood under the running water in pure bliss. The warm water soothed your skin as you washed away the dirt and grime. It felt as if a weight was being lifted off your shoulders as you cleaned yourself. Long after you’d finished getting clean, you stood under the water, allowing your muscles to relax.

You quickly dried off and got dressed, feeling like a new person. You were overwhelmed with relief, knowing you wouldn’t have to participate in the games anymore, and hoping In-ho was telling the truth when he said your debt was taken care of. For a moment you wondered how he could spend so much on you, but you remembered he won the games before. He had more than enough.

Still, he didn’t have to do that for you. He didn’t have to do any of this. Clearly he felt some sort of way towards you, and you couldn’t help but admit you felt something for him too. In any other world this situation would be highly questionable, but it felt right to you.

You exited the bathroom and saw In-ho standing by the jazz figurines. He’d taken off his gray coat to reveal a thick black sweater with black dress pants. He immediately turned towards you, his face lighting up, before turning back around and turning on the music.

You walked next to him and watched the figures move along with the music. It made you feel even lighter than you’d already felt. You turned towards In-ho and noticed he was engrossed in the music. He really intrigued you at times, even before you knew he worked in this place.

Your heart filled with contentment, you leaned forward and hugged In-ho. You felt him tense in your arms for a few seconds, but then he relaxed. He was surprised by your sudden closeness.

“Thank you.”

His heart fluttered, looking down at you. How could you be doing this to him, giving him all these feelings he couldn’t express?

He wrapped his arms around you. “You’re welcome.”

You smiled and sighed into him, feeling the soft fabric of his sweater. It was so comforting.

“Are you hungry?”

You shot your head up towards him, your stomach immediately growling. “Yes.”

~~~

You and In-ho ate together that night, making small talk. You learned a little bit more about him, and about why he decided to come back after winning. He also explained more about the VIPs, which didn’t surprise you but still made you sick to your stomach. Even so, it was nice to talk to someone else about your experience in the Squid Games, outside of the games themselves. And it was even better to feel like you could let your guard down.

Shortly after eating you turned in for the night, sleeping in the room across from In-ho. You were exhausted and fell asleep pretty quickly, despite feeling a little afraid of being alone. But that night you were riddled with nightmares, especially ones where you were stuck in the air vents and caught by the VIPs.

You woke up in the middle of the night, breathing heavily with tears on your face. You slowly calmed down and slowed your breath, coming back to reality. Wiping your face, you sat up on the bed, feeling like you’d barely slept at all. You stood up and opened your door, unsure of what you wanted. You just felt uncomfortable being alone.

You looked out in the hallway and noticed In-ho’s door open, and then noticed In-ho sitting on the leather chair. He turned towards you upon hearing your door open.

“Y/n? Are you okay?”

You stared at him silently, not feeling like using the energy to explain yourself. You walked next to him and sat on the floor next to his legs, since there were no other chairs in the room. You sighed and leaned your head back.

In-ho could tell you had a lot on your mind. “Hey, you’re okay. You can talk to me if you want.”

“It’s just… a lot.”

He leaned forward to touch your shoulder. “I know. You did well though.”

Your heart dropped. “This shouldn’t have happened though.”

His heart broke when he heard you say that. He wanted nothing more than to make you feel better, but he knew more than anyone else that no words would be able to help you, only time and support.

You turned to him. “I just… I got lucky, meeting you. I don’t feel like I deserve it.”

He looked at you with his eyebrows furrowed. “Why not?”

“I just don’t understand why you like me enough to do all of this.”

He nodded slowly, but inside he was shocked. To him, it was obvious why he liked you. “Come here.”

You looked at him confused.

He reached his arm towards you. “Come here,” he repeated.

You hesitantly stood up, leaning on the arm of the chair. In-ho reached his arms forward and pulled you in for a hug, letting you settle into his lap.

You held your breath as he pulled you in, taken aback again by his sudden closeness, even more than before. He held his arms tight around you, rubbing your back.

“You’re going to be okay.”

You sighed, relaxing more into his arms. Your shyness threatened to take over, but you had to admit you felt immediate comfort being in his arms. The warmth of his body, the security you felt in his arms, the genuine connection you shared, it allowed you to feel at ease again. You rested your head next to his neck, the scent of his cologne relaxing you further.

He continued. “I like you because… you’re smart, and kind… and funny,” he chuckled to himself. “You don’t belong somewhere like this.”

His words made your heart swell. You wanted to say more about how you felt, but you felt yourself falling asleep. In-ho felt you relax more, and let you fall asleep on him. Just like you felt, he felt comfort in having you in his arms. He’d been sitting in that chair all night, his mind racing, but having you there helped him fall asleep too. The two of you slept together on his large leather chair, better than either of you had in a long time.

~~~

The next day you stayed in your room while In-ho finished handling the final round. Afterwards, you were able to get into the limo with In-ho without anyone seeing you. It was quite awkward sitting there with the winner, but you kept your cool and stayed silent.

After dropping them off, the limo began driving, but you didn’t know where. You thought it was probably time to go home now, but you wanted to go anywhere but that place. And you really didn’t want to leave In-ho.

“Where are we going?”

“To my apartment, since they don't know you’re here of course. I’ll get you a taxi after.”

“I don’t want to go home.”

In-ho watched you curiously.

“Why don’t you stay with me then?”

You looked at him, relieved. “Sure.”

When you arrived at his apartment building, you covertly exited the limo with In-ho without the driver noticing you. You could tell you were in a much better part of the city than you lived in. The night air was cold on your face. You were still in In-ho’s clothes, but he had found a coat to try to keep you warm.

You followed In-ho into his apartment and removed his coat, observing your surroundings. It certainly wasn’t the nicest apartment in the world, especially for the money he had, but it was way nicer than anything you’d lived in. There was a nice sized living room and bedroom, plus a full kitchen and balcony.

In-ho set his things down while you walked around a bit, taking it all in. After taking off the coat, you felt cold again, so you wrapped your arms around yourself. In-ho immediately noticed this, turning towards you. “Are you cold?”

“Just a bit, I’ll warm up though.”

He went to turn on the heat on his thermostat and walked to you, immediately wrapping his arms around you.

“Hopefully this will help.”

You blushed, leaning into his chest. You did feel warmer, not only from his warm arms around you but also from the warm feeling you felt in your heart. You looked up at In-ho and smiled.

He smiled back and rested his hand on your cheek. “Are you feeling okay?”

You nodded. “Very much so. Thank you.”

He rubbed his thumb along your cheek, looking as if he had something to say to you but wasn’t sure if he should say it. You stared back, anxious for what he had to say.

In the next moment, he leaned forward gently and kissed you.

His lips were just as soft and warm as you imagined. You thought you should feel shocked at his kiss, but it felt like the most normal, natural thing to you. You immediately melted into his touch, reciprocating the kiss.

He kissed you again and again, gentle in his movements but his need for you was clear. You reached your arms up to wrap them around his neck, as he wrapped both arms around you, rubbing your back. You sighed and ran your fingers through his hair, causing him to groan softly.

You lightly grabbed his hair and pushed him harder onto your lips, deepening the kiss. Your tongues began to melt with each other, both of you moving with more and more intensity. In-ho rubbed his hands along your sides, grasping your hips roughly. He pushed forward and lightly bit your lip, eliciting a soft moan from you.

He immediately broke from the kiss and backed you into the wall, pressing himself against you. The feeling of being pinned between him and the wall sent goosebumps all over your body. He kissed you roughly again before leaning down towards your neck, kissing and sucking at any skin he could access.

You let out soft moans, touching him all over his shoulders and arms as he kissed you. You were undeniably captivated by the entire moment with him. It was almost surreal, after everything you’d been through. You felt yourself getting overwhelmed in thought, but you tried to be as present as possible.

In-ho stopped and brought his face to yours again, looking at you with concern. “What is it?”

“Hm?”

“You seemed to be out of your head for a moment.”

“Oh,” you sighed, chuckling to yourself. “I didn’t realize.”

He kissed you softly, then leaned forward next to your ear. “Stay with me. I want you to feel every single thing I do to you.”

His words took your breath away, the anticipation flooding your senses. You looked at him eagerly before he lifted you into his arms and carried you to his bedroom.

He gently laid you on his bed, hovering over you and continuing to cover your neck in kisses. You let out a satisfied breath and pushed your body up towards him, greedy for more of his touch. He ran a hand along your side up towards your breast, cupping it roughly in his hands. You pressed your hand on his, signaling you wanted more.

In-ho leaned backwards a bit and began to remove your shirt and bra. You shivered when he gently leaned forward and began to kiss your breasts, the soft touches drawing out soft moans from your lips. He looked at you, engrossed in your facial expressions. Knowing he made you feel that way heightened his desire for you.

He leaned forward to kiss you and began to push down your sweatpants and underwear. He rubbed his hands down from your stomach to your aching cunt and watched you as he pressed his fingers on you, feeling just how wet you’d gotten.

“Sweetheart, you’re so wet,” he said as he rubbed up and down your slit. “Is this all for me?”

Your face was twisted in pleasure, but you looked up to see him looking at you with lust-blown eyes. You nodded, maintaining eye contact. “Yes, all for you.”

He watched you intently as he began to circle your clit with his fingers, your sighs and moans encouraging him further. Even though you were almost completely exposed, you felt warm all over. Even though you maintained eye contact with him, and he could see your every move, every reaction you felt, you were perfectly comfortable under his gaze. You wanted him to know exactly how you felt.

He pushed his fingers further down towards your entrance, teasing it. Your hips involuntarily bucked forward as you longed for his fingers inside you. You reached your arm forward, holding on to his.

“Please.”

He smirked. “Do you want my fingers inside you?” he asked, clearly having fun taunting you.

“Yes, yes, please.”

He obliged immediately, inserting two fingers inside you. The warmth he felt instantly sent his body into a frenzy, his cock straining in his pants more than it already was. You let out a long, satisfied moan, relishing in the newfound pleasure. He slowly began to pump his fingers in and out of you, the sounds of your moans and your wetness driving him crazy.

He looked down to your cunt, noticing the wetness on his fingers growing. He was overwhelmed with lust and couldn’t keep himself from you anymore. He removed his fingers and shifted down to your legs.

You whined at the lack of stimulation, watching In-ho as he took your sweatpants off completely. He spread your legs in front of him and leaned down, face lined up with your core. He quickly inserted his fingers into you again at a faster pace. Wasting no more time, he leaned forward and pressed his tongue against you, circling your clit.

You threw your head back, the pleasure and warmth spreading throughout your body. It felt as if every cell in your body was on edge in the best way. Your moans became louder, unable to hold back. Your hips twitched on his face, looking for even more stimulation.

In-ho looked at you as he continued sucking and pumping his fingers. Your flushed face filled him with satisfaction and pride for pleasuring you.

You looked down to see In-ho watching you. You let out a shaky breath, almost laughing, and reached your hand down to his hair.

“That feels so fucking good, you’re going to make me cum.”

He groaned into you, almost sending you over the edge right then. You let out an intense moan, feeling your muscles tense. You were right there, your pussy and clit becoming more and more sensitive with every thrust, every swipe of his tongue.

Before you could reach the edge, In-ho removed his mouth and fingers from you, climbing on top of you quickly. You looked at him, frustrated and whining. He positioned your legs around him and leaned back to remove his shirt, and you were temporarily distracted.

Realizing what he was after, you leaned forward quickly to undo his belt and unbutton his pants. He chuckled at you and stepped back to remove his pants entirely. He leaned back over you and kissed you again, before positioning his cock at your entrance.

“Are you ready?”

You nodded, and he pushed himself slowly inside you. As he did so, he stretched your pussy, the feeling of your muscles adjusting to causing your legs to shudder. You let out a long, deep moan. In-ho watched you as he bottomed out, grunting at the feeling of being completely inside of you.

You reached your hands forward to cup his face, bringing him in for a rough kiss. In-ho held your jaw tightly and he continued to kiss you, and slowly started to thrust in and out of you. You mewled under him, your wetness covering his cock as he began to pound into you effortlessly.

In-ho broke the kiss and held your legs down, further spreading your pussy for him. The sight of it made him crazy, and he began to moan and curse uncontrollably. He pounded into you as hard as he could, as if he couldn’t get enough of you.

The sound of his moans added to your pleasure, the fact that you were making him feel that way made you feel better and better.

“Fuck, you feel so fucking good.” He leaned forward to kiss you, pushing your legs even further down.

You groaned into his mouth. “Your… your cock,” you muttered between thrusts, “feels… so good.”

He growled and thrust into you faster, your words egging him on. You let out a slew of moans, feeling like you were close to cumming again. You wrapped your arms around him desperately.

“You’re gonna make me cum, please, please, let me cum.”

He chuckled darkly, leaning into your neck. “Not quite yet, sweetheart. Almost.”

He slowly pulled his cock out of you, causing you to whine out of frustration. “Please!”

He slowly turned you over to your stomach, positioning your knees to lift your ass in the air. He leaned forward near your ear and whispered, “You’ve been such a good girl, don’t be disobedient now, okay?”

Even though he was clearly taunting you, when he talked to you like that it sent jolts of pleasure straight to your core, so you reluctantly obliged. He positioned himself behind you, quickly lining himself up with your entrance and thrusting back into you. The new angle was even better than before, sending your entire body on edge.

You mewled over and over for him, internally begging for him to let you cum. In-ho pounded into you relentlessly, his cock hardening even more as he felt close to his own release. He felt your pussy squeeze on him harder, and he knew you were close.

He leaned forward and reached his hand to start rubbing your clit, causing you to squeal. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, please let me cum, please please please”

You weren’t even trying to hide your desperation at that point, you knew you were about to cum no matter what. In-ho felt it too, your desperate pleas pushing him to the edge.

“Cum for me.”

You immediately let everything go, let yourself succumb to the desire you’d been holding back. You felt your pussy squeeze on In-ho’s cock, felt your muscles spasm intensely, an intense wave of pleasure exploding from your core. Your juices gushed around him, dripping down your legs. You let out loud moans over and over, unable to control yourself at all.

In-ho felt your pussy clench on his cock, felt your juices gush around him, and it sent him over the edge. He came intensely inside of you, pumping loads of cum into your pussy. He grunted intensely, gripping your hips roughly as he thrust into you with force. You felt your pussy fill with his warm cum, and felt it start to drip down your thighs. The thought of it made you shudder.

You both caught your breath as In-ho gently rubbed your back. He slowly pulled himself out of you, both of you hissing at the overstimulation. He gently laid you on your back and brushed your hair out of your face, making sure you were okay.

Your face was flushed red, and immediately he was reminded of the first night he met you. He laughed to himself, and you gave him a wary look. “What?”

He smiled at you. “I was just thinking that I’m really glad I met you.”

You playfully rolled your eyes. “I’m sure you are.” You leaned forward to kiss him softly.

“I really am.”

You looked at him, more seriously this time, and rested your hand on his face. “Me too.”

He smiled and kissed you, and the two of you got cleaned up and ready for bed. That night, you both slept soundly and happily, knowing you only had the rest of your lives to spend more time together.

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