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leia-writes · 1 year ago

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My Legionnaire

Eugene Choi x Reader

Chapter 2

Go here for Chapter 1 and story summary!

Tags: reader-insert, no use of y/n, fluff, blood and injury, pining, slow burn, not canon compliant

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When you were finally able to find time to learn to fish with Eugene, the weather had become almost unbearably hot. The two of you found a spot along the river in the shade, a large rock that protruded over the water with tree branches hanging above you. You sat side by side on the rock as Eugene prepared your fishing lines.

He taught you how to cast the line out, making sure to get it far enough to the center of the river. You felt relaxed and peaceful and you sat with Eugene, silently enjoying each other’s company.

Suddenly, you felt a strong tug on your fishing line with a rush of excitement.

“Eugene, I think I got something?!”

He jolted forward and held your line, feeling a small bite after a moment.

“You do. Give it a seco-”

“Ah!” You quickly pulled your fishing line towards you, too preoccupied with catching a fish to follow Eugene’s advice. But as the line got closer to you, you realized nothing was on it. Disappointed, you quietly recast your line, avoiding eye contact with Eugene. It was obvious he was smirking at you.

You sulked. “I’m going to catch a fish before you, just wait.”

He just laughed and looked ahead at his line, the two of you falling back into a comfortable silence.

As time passed you felt more of the sun through the trees, the temperature rising. If you weren’t out with Eugene you would’ve gone somewhere inside hours ago. But despite the oppressive heat, you couldn’t deny he looked divine lounging there with his uniform coat off, sleeves rolled up, skin glistening with sweat. It was entirely too distracting. You were about to suggest going back to the legation when Eugene suddenly lurched his rod up, pulling his line in.

He smiled triumphantly as he pulled a fish out of the water, detaching it from the hook and storing it in a wicker basket. You were momentarily impressed with how easily he handled it before pouting out of annoyance.

“What was that you said earlier?” he grinned.

You playfully rolled your eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It sounds like I win.”

“And what’s your prize for winning? A raw fish?”

He laughed. “No. It’s that sour look on your face, knowing I’m right.”

You glared at him, jokingly. “And what do I win when I catch a fish, hm?”

He leaned back, taking the thought very seriously.

“You win a private, romantic date with the one and only Major Kyle Moore.”

He laughed out loud when you scoffed at him, rolling your eyes.

“I already won that prize simply with my charm. Besides, you know dates don’t go well for me.” You smirked and held your hand up, showing your scar from the sword incident.

He stared at you for a moment, before looking away, nervously smiling. “Why don’t we have a redo of that evening, then?”

You felt your face flush, your playfulness instantly disappearing, and almost stumbled on your words. “As my prize? Oh, uh, sure.” Internally you smacked yourself for being so awkward.

Eugene chuckled and stayed silent, watching your line in the water. The blush on your face wasn’t leaving anytime soon as you thought about what a date with Eugene would be like. You’d been on the picnic, but neither of you really called it a date. Even though it felt like one.

You were pulled from your thoughts with something tugging at your line again, and this time you were determined to catch something. You felt something biting and leaned forward. As you continued following the pressure on the line, you realized you were too close to the edge, and looked down at the water as you tumbled forward.

With a quick yelp, you landed in the river, cool water completely surrounding you. The river wasn’t moving fast, and you quickly reached the surface to see Eugene jump in the water after you. He suddenly appeared next to you showing deep concern, holding your shoulders.

“Are you okay? Do you know how to swim?”

You caught your breathing, starting to laugh at yourself. “I’m fine, I don’t know how to swim, but I’m fine though.”

He quickly scooped you into his arms and began swimming to the shore. “I’m going to have to teach you so many things, aren’t I?”

You giggled and wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he laughed with you. Sighing, you leaned your head back to feel the cool water.

“Doesn’t this feel so nice? Do we have to get out?”

He slowly stopped swimming until he was able to stand, looking at you with a peaceful expression, keeping you in his arms. His hair fell across his forehead, falling from its usual combed back position. You reached forward and wiped some hair from his eyes.

You stayed there for several moments, enjoying the coolness of the water, another comfortable silence. You rested your head on his shoulder.

He smiled. “You know, you could’ve just asked for that date instead of jumping into the water for it.”

You rolled your eyes. “I didn’t do that to go on a date with you, I just wanted to show you I could catch a fish.”

“I guess I’m not a very good teacher then.”

You softly laughed, raising your head and looking around. “It’s going to be a pain getting back home, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, probably a bit.”

“Can we just stay here a moment longer?” you asked, softly.

“Of course,” he whispered.

You smiled as he looked at you intensely. The playfulness from before was gone, and you could sense a fierce energy behind his eyes. Your eyes locked together and it felt like the easiest, most natural thing to do in the world.

You felt yourself leaning forward, felt the two of you becoming closer, could almost feel the heat of his face on yours… before a loud yelling at the shore snapped you two out of the trance.

“Hey! I heard I’d find you here. What happened?”

You looked up to see Kyle approaching you on horseback and the two of you quickly got out of the water. Eugene walked ahead as you attempted to wring out your clothes.

“She fell in the water and I went after her.”

Kyle nodded, looking more serious than you expected him to be. You thought he’d be teasing you both to no end for having almost seen you two kiss.

He looked at you. “You have an urgent message waiting for you. From your parents.”

You stood there dumbfounded, not sure what to do first with your clothes dripping wet. Eugene eyed you before speaking.

“Go ahead, I’ll get our stuff. Don’t worry.”

You nodded silently and began going back with Kyle, anxiety starting to overwhelm you. There were only a few reasons why your parents would summon you so suddenly like this, and none of them were good.

~~~

Eugene didn’t see you until the next day when you came to the legation for your regular work schedule. He was disappointed he wasn’t able to find out what happened, and it caused him to worry.

When you entered his office, Eugene immediately knew something was wrong. Your face was swollen and splotchy, your eyes red from crying. He could tell you tried your best to hide it, but he saw right through you.

You sat at your desk, taking a deep breath. You saw the coffee cup on your desk, put there by Eugene like it was every day, and you couldn’t stop tears from welling in your eyes.

You didn’t dare look at Eugene, but you could tell he was looking at you with concern.

“Are you alright? What happened?”

You took another deep breath and glanced at him. You could tell he genuinely cared, like he really wanted to help, and it broke your heart. A tear slipped from your eyes down your cheek.

“Oh, uh, well…” you sniffled, wiping your cheek, and Eugene immediately went to your side. You turned away from him, knowing you’d completely break down if you faced him.

“Tell me.”

“I… We’re leaving tomorrow.”

You wiped some tears again, trying your hardest to keep yourself together as much as possible. You knew this was bound to happen and yet you still let yourself fall for him. Internally you chastised yourself for being so foolish, getting so attached.

Eugene was devastated inside and had no clue what to say or do. Even though you weren’t facing him, you could feel it from him, feel his disappointment, and it just made you feel worse. You didn’t want to have a full blown breakdown here, much less in front of him. Your last memories with him shouldn’t be bad. Who knew when you’d see him again?

You calmed yourself a bit and began moving some papers around. “I’ll make sure to finish as much as I can before I leave.” You started writing, but Eugene set his hand on yours to stop you.

“You don’t have to do that.”

You looked at him for a moment, overwhelmed with anguish. It was all too bittersweet. You wanted to punish yourself for falling for him but at the same time you wouldn’t have changed a thing. It was sweet even if it only lasted a short while.

“No, it’s alright. Don’t worry.” You continued but he stopped you yet again, whispering your name almost too soft for you to hear.

You sighed sadly. “Please. Just let me do this. Let me be here today.”

He slowly nodded and walked to his desk. You continued working silently, wishing to have just one more normal day before you’d have to face the real world.

~~~

When you and Eugene were done for the day, you walked back to the hotel together, silent. You didn’t know what to say, didn’t want to acknowledge what you’d eventually have to face, but didn’t want your time together to end just yet. Pretending everything was normal was the only thing you wanted to think about.

When you entered the hotel, you stood awkwardly next to each other. Eugene looked around before looking at you. “Would you like to eat with me?” he said, gesturing to the dining room.

You nodded silently and the two of you sat for dinner. You made small talk, as if he could sense you didn’t want to talk about it. You sat there talking for hours, and after eating had a cup of coffee, not wanting to leave anytime soon. Delaying the inevitable.

The dining room had mostly cleared out for the evening, only a small number of patrons still there. Music was softly playing, the lights were dimmed, and some couples were slow dancing in the middle of the room. You observed them with envy.

You smiled. “I guess I got that redo after all.”

Eugene looked confused for a moment before remembering. He laughed. “It was much better than last time, right?”

“Of course. Anything would have been better.”

He smiled, but it quickly faded. As time passed, eventually you’d have to leave, and you both felt that. “When do you leave tomorrow?”

You exhaled. “Early. First thing in the morning.”

He nodded. “I’ll see you at the station before you leave.”

You smiled sadly. “I’d like that.”

“Do you know where you’re going?”

“For now, Japan. But that’ll probably only be for a little while before we go somewhere further.”

“Alright. I’ll send you a telegram while you’re there.”

You smiled, staying silent. He softly chuckled, saying, “and you’d better send one back too.”

You playfully rolled your eyes. “You know I will.”

After a moment, you took a deep breath, and stood up. “It’s late. We should both get some rest.”

He nodded and stood, the two of you walking towards the staircase. He paused, and you looked at him confused that he wasn’t coming up with you. His room was on the same floor as yours.

“I’ll… I’ll go in a second. Goodnight.”

“Alright… goodnight.”

You were about to turn back towards the staircase before he suddenly stepped in front of you, holding your shoulders tightly. You looked at him in surprise.

He let out a deep breath, looking down, as if he was battling whether or not to say something. He looked at you and blurted, “do you want to dance with me?”

You blushed as you noticed his face turning red too. You smiled and quickly nodded, the two of you going to the middle of the dining hall.

He gently took your hand in his and pulled you close. You wrapped your arm around his shoulder, feeling his wrap around your waist. You gently rested your head on him, breathing in the scent of him. Clean, fresh linen… a faint woodsy scent… and most of all, comfort.

You slowly swayed in place, not even paying attention to the music. Just to each other. You couldn’t stop your heart from aching at the thought that you wouldn’t be able to do this anymore. Wouldn’t be able to see Eugene every day, wouldn’t get embarrassed by Kyle trying to set you two up, wouldn’t go on any more stupid little dates. You didn’t even bother to catch the tears that were falling down your face.

Eugene noticed this, and held you even tighter. There were no words that would be sufficient for the heartache he felt for you. He dipped his head down to rest on yours, your heart lurching at the closeness. Even though you’d never admitted your feelings to him, or him to you, both of you just knew what the other felt. It seemed as if you always had.

The two of you stayed there until the dining room closed, and parted ways for the night.

~~~

The next morning was a blur until you reached the station, everyone waiting to board the train. You walked slowly, trailing your parents who were ahead of you. Every step you took made the reality of your situation weigh heavier on your heart.

The sun was unbearably bright, reminding you of the day you arrived in Joseon. You would have never guessed the absolute heartache you’d feel at leaving. Covering your eyes from the sun, you spotted Eugene not too far in the distance. Your heart leapt and broke at the same time.

He slowly approached you, your parents quietly observing from a distance. He smiled, but you could tell he was trying to put on a happy front for you. It was clear you were both heartbroken.

“I brought you something,” he said, as he handed you a small paper bag. You opened it to find a bunch of peppermint candies, and smiled.

“Thank you. I’m sorry, I don’t have anything for you.”

He softly nodded his head. “Don't worry,” he said, this voice falling to a whisper. You could hear the anguish in his voice. “This is enough.”

You felt your lip quivering, the tears threatening to escape from your eyes. You wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. Nothing was acceptable.

He smiled sadly and reached forward, resting his hand on your face. You let out a soft cry, and he wiped the tears from your face as they fell.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. You couldn’t think of anything else to say, and you felt responsible for all this heartbreak.

“Don’t be sorry. Everything’s alright. Go on and enjoy your next adventure. And don’t forget to send me that telegram.” He chuckled. He was so good at holding everything in and you were basically a blubbering mess in front of him.

“I know. And you’d better send one back,” you teased, smiling as best as you could through tears.

He exhaled and removed his hand from you. “I will. I’ll be waiting, alright?”

You nodded and held back the rest of your tears. “I know.”

You looked ahead and noticed your parents standing nearby, clearly a bit impatient. “I think I have to go now.”

Eugene slowly nodded, and you stood there awkwardly, unsure if you should hug or touch him. You felt like you’d break if he touched you again.

As if he sensed this, he observed you for a moment, like he was actively committing your face to his memory. Your gaze lingered for a moment before you said, “Goodbye.”

As you walked away, Eugene wistfully looked at you and whispered, “Goodbye.”

~~~

To say you were beside yourself on your trip to Japan would be an understatement. You kept to yourself as much as you could, unwilling to keep yourself from crying. It was too much to try to hide your emotions anymore. Even once you arrived and settled into your new residence, you were too emotionally unstable to care about anything.

Your parents were shocked. They had never seen you so upset about leaving somewhere before, not even when you’d made close friends or had little crushes here and there. This was a whole different level of upset for you. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much they could do about it, and that thought pained you constantly.

You wanted so badly to live your life on your own terms, now that you had something worth staying for. Something worth settling down for. You were so torn between regretting getting close to Eugene at all, knowing your time was limited, and regretting not confessing all of your feelings when you had the chance. If you had just confessed your feelings from the beginning maybe you would’ve had more time with him, maybe things would be different now.

Your only solace was sending telegrams now. At least it was something you could do before leaving again and going even further. How could he send you a letter if you didn’t even know where you were going next? As soon as you were able, you sent Eugene a telegram. In the back of your mind you thought you should be a little less eager but you were too heartbroken to care.

“I ate the candies all at once. Very sweet.”

When you received his response, it read, “Not as sweet as you.”

Unfortunately you were limited in how many telegrams you could send as your parents didn’t want you spending so much money. You spent your days anxiously awaiting the next time you could send him one, and waiting for his response. You found a small, easy job to do while you were there, but it couldn’t distract you from missing Eugene and wanting to go back.

As the days passed, the weather got cooler, but the messages to Eugene warmed your heart.

“It’s getting colder each day. Is it cold there?”

“Sometimes. Stay warm and don’t get sick.”

“Is Joseon still beautiful?”

“Not as beautiful as you.”

Your heart practically jumped out of your body when you read that. The ache that had settled into your heart felt like the heaviest anchor now.

You responded with, “I miss you.”

You had never been this direct with your feelings since leaving Joseon, but as time passed you couldn’t help yourself. The fear of leaving Japan soon and losing all contact with Eugene loomed over you constantly and felt worse every day. After sending that telegram, you had returned home, tears freely falling down your face.

Of course your parents had noticed your torment upon leaving Joseon, but hoped it would subside by now. If you weren’t troubling them by spending so much money on telegrams, you were by being a complete mess at home all the time.

Your mother looked at you and sighed. “What is it now?”

You rolled your eyes. You had conversations with them before about Eugene, but they simply saw it as a fleeting moment when to you it felt life-shattering. It didn’t feel worth it to go through the same conversation over and over with them.

“It’s nothing. I’m alright.”

“It’s not nothing. Is it Eugene?”

You closed your eyes and sighed, staying silent. It was too painful to even talk about.

Your mother eyed your father, sitting in the same room reading. He turned to you.

“You can’t keep spending this money on all these telegrams.”

You scoffed. It felt childish to do so but you couldn’t help yourself. “What else am I supposed to do?”

Your mother looked offended. “We’d thought you’d be over this by now!”

That just infuriated you. “Well clearly I haven’t!”

A tense silence fell over the room. You felt defeated, saying, “I just can’t keep doing this anymore.”

“Doing what?” your mother asked.

“Being here. Being everywhere. It’s exhausting.”

Your parents sighed, eyeing each other as if they were pondering something. They knew eventually you’d have to leave them and settle down somewhere. You were well beyond the age to do so, but never showed any interest like this before.

Your father stood, grabbing your coats. “Come with me.”

You stood, curiously following your father outside. You walked together silently for a brief moment.

It was unlike your father to do something like this. He mostly kept to himself and didn’t involve himself when it came to things like this with you. Talking about emotions did not come naturally to him at all.

“So.” He stated.

“So…”

“This Eugene. Tell me more about him.”

“Uh.” You weren’t sure where to start. “What do you want to know?”

He sighed, unable to find his words either. “What do you like about him so much that makes you this way?” He gestured to you, looking exasperated.

You stayed silent for a moment, trying to figure out how to describe it.

“Where do I even start?”

“You seemed to be very close when we left Hanseong.”

“We were. We are.”

“You know, we’ve been all across the world together. I’ve seen you make friends, I’ve seen you show interest in men before. For some reason, this is different.”

You stayed silent, wondering where he was going with this.

He continued. “You don’t have to explain a thing to me. But we aren’t going to let you run off with some man we don’t know.”

You stopped walking, anticipation flooding your mind. Where was he going with this?

“So if you can bring him here, let us get to know him, then maybe you can stay with him.”

You were beyond shocked. Was this really happening? You could finally see the possibility of a life with Eugene. But so much time had passed, and you hadn’t even truly confessed your feelings for each other. Did he really want you as much as you wanted him? What would it mean to stay with him? Marriage? What if this was too much for him?

You were dizzy all of a sudden. The excitement of possibly seeing him again, the anxiety that it might not be as you hoped, everything was overwhelming. But you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling.

~~~

As you were getting ready to go back to Joseon, you received a response from Eugene.

It simply read, “I miss you more than words can say.”

Instead of feeling heartbreak, you felt excitement knowing you’d see him soon. You decided to keep your trip a secret and surprise him when you arrived in Joseon. As you made your way back to him, you were filled with a mix of elation and anxiety, hoping with everything in you that it would go exactly as you wanted. Exactly as you felt it would, after all this time pining for him.

You arrived in Hanseong in the middle of the day, the sun shining bright as always. The weather was almost unbearably cold but you barely noticed. You quickly went to the legation, practically running through the doors.

Your footsteps echoed on the wooden floor as you entered Eugene’s office. Much to your dismay, he was absent. You quickly began searching every part of the legation you could to find him before running into Kyle.

He was stunned, almost yelling your name in surprise. “What are you doing here?!”

You smiled, excited. “I’m back! How are you? Where’s Eugene?”

You expected him to be excited to see you too, but he looked disappointed. As if he was about to give you bad news.

“Eugene… he’s on his way to Japan. He left today.”

Your heart dropped to your stomach. “He’s… Japan? He’s going to Japan?!”

He sighed, touching the bridge of his nose. “I found a way to get him stationed in Japan. To be with you. He’s been absolutely miserable here, you know.”

You sighed, exasperated, your hand going to your face. “I can’t believe this. I came here to surprise him.”

Kyle chuckled. “He was going to do the same for you.”

You laughed softly too, before remembering, “He left today?”

“Yes. He’ll be getting on the ship this evening.”

You hastily pulled yourself together. “I’ve got to go back. I need the train. Oh god.” You began running out of the legation without even saying goodbye.

Kyle quickly followed you. “I’ll escort you to the train station. Grab a horse with me.”

The two of you quickly found horses to ride to the station. You galloped through the streets of Joseon, reaching the station in no time. You quickly got your ticket before saying goodbye to Kyle.

“Thank you, for everything. For helping us.”

He nodded. “You know, I’ve never seen him like this with anyone else.”

You chuckled. “I’ve had the same thing said to me.”

“I hope to see you two again, together.”

“Thanks Kyle. I’m sure we’ll see you soon.”

He smiled, waving as you walked away. “Go get him!”

You laughed and boarded the train, anxiously waiting for it to begin towards Jemulpo.

~~~

By the time the train arrived, it was dark and even colder outside. You bundled yourself tighter in your coat and quickly walked towards the harbor.

The ships were still in the harbor but barely anyone was waiting around anymore. You started to panic a bit as you walked around, looking for any sight of Eugene. If he had boarded the ship already, you knew it would be even longer until you saw him. What if he arrived in Japan and heard of you coming back, then tried coming back when you were going back to Japan?

The anxiety was dizzying, and getting even worse as you saw multiple ships start to leave the harbor. It felt like hours before you finally sat down, unable to keep walking down the same path over and over.

That was it. He was on his way to Japan, and now you’d have to decide whether to take the next ship there or wait for him here.

It was all so incredibly frustrating. Why did it all have to be so difficult? You should’ve just told him you were coming, sent the telegram as soon as you knew. Again you started berating yourself for your stupid decisions. You should’ve done so many things differently, should’ve told him your feelings soon, should’ve never left Joseon.

You started crying but could barely tell as you started to leave the harbor, looking for a place to stay for the night. There were no trains going back to Joseon tonight. The air was harsh on your tear-stained face as you walked around. You almost enjoyed walking in the cold air, as you just wanted to dissociate from your feelings.

You walked around probably longer than you should have, your face red from the biting cold. You stopped for a moment on the edge of town, looking at the sea and the forest nearby. You were still crying a bit, wanting nothing more than to just be with Eugene. It didn’t matter where. The aching in your heart felt like a terminal wound.

“I think the impossible has happened.”

You froze.

Were you hearing things?

The voice behind you was so familiar.

You slowly turned, and saw Eugene standing before you, like a dream.

You were too stunned to say anything. Right after wishing for him to be there, he appeared, like magic.

He smiled widely. His hair was disheveled, and about half of his uniform pants were soaked in water.

You exhaled sharply. “Is… is it really you?” You were really too stunned to believe it.

He walked towards you. “I should be saying the same thing. What are you doing here?”

“I..” you started to cry, now with happy tears. “I was going to surprise you.”

He softly laughed, bringing his hands to your face to wipe your tears. “That’s what I was going to do, too. You can’t steal my idea.”

You laughed, wrapping your arms around him. He held you tightly, bringing his face to your neck as you did the same. You stood there together for several moments, savoring the feeling of being together. You breathed in the familiar scent of him, crying even harder now.

He brought his hands to your face again, looking concerned. “Why are you crying? Is everything alright?”

You were overwhelmed with so many emotions. “No. It hasn’t been alright. I missed you too much.”

He smiled, rubbing his thumb on your cheek. “Not more than I missed you.”

You scoffed through your tears, smiling softly. You observed his disheveled state again. “What happened to you?”

“I saw you as the ship was leaving, I almost didn’t believe it. I nearly had to fight my way off.”

You laughed sadly. “I thought you’d left already.”

He shook his head softly, the two of you staying silent for a moment. You observed all the little details of his face, finally feeling a peace you’d been wanting for so long. He looked at you intensely, just like that afternoon in the river. He brought his other hand to your face, looking as if he was about to tell you something.

Before you could say anything, he quickly leaned forward and kissed you. It was intensely passionate and soft at the same time. He was holding you with a strong grip, but also as if you would break in his hands. You brought your hands to his wrists, holding him closer to you.

You kissed over and over, feeling an immense relief and delight. After so much time of keeping your feelings inside, of trying to protect yourself, you finally got what your heart desired all along. Your heart was beating so rapidly you were sure Eugene could sense it.

He pulled away and looked at you, your face flushed from the kiss and the cold. He had never known his heart could be this full, that he could experience something like this. He lived his life as if he was cursed, never to know true happiness or belonging. But looking at you, knowing you, falling in love with you, made him feel perfect.

It made him feel at home.

You took in a deep breath, feeling a contentment and belonging beyond anything you’d ever felt. At that moment, you knew you were exactly where you were supposed to be. Exactly where you belonged.

Eugene softly smiled, his eyes scanning your face, and you could sense a bit of anxiety. He softly whispered to you.

“I’m in love with you.”

Your face lit up at the confession, and you kissed him again. Pulling away, you could tell he was searching your face for a response.

“I’ve always been in love with you.”

He exhaled and pulled you close, holding you tighter than ever. You laughed, relishing in the warmth of his arms around you. “Why didn’t we do this sooner?”

He laughed. “I would have if you hadn’t run away.”

You scoffed, playfully pushing him away. “That’s not fair.”

He smiled. “But you’re here now.”

“That’s right.”

He paused. “Stay with me?”

You smiled.

“Always.”

#eugene choi x reader #eugene choi #mr. sunshine #reader insert #fanfiction #kdrama

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leia-writes · 1 year ago

Text

My Legionnaire

Eugene Choi x Reader

Chapter 1

Summary: You're a diplomat's daughter who travels the world, finding yourself in Joseon at the turn of the 19th century. Eugene Choi is a respected US Marine Corps officer struggling with being back in his native land. A story of two people learning the meaning of home. (Inspired by the song My Legionnaire by Brooke Waggoner.)

Notes: I've been thinking of writing something like this ever since the first time I finished watching Mr. Sunshine. I chose to ignore most of the main story, so I apologize if there are any inconsistencies. More to come after this chapter. Enjoy!

Tags: reader-insert, no use of y/n, fluff, blood and injury, pining, slow burn, not canon compliant

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masterlist

The floor beneath you swayed gently as you walked along the edge of the ship. The sun was almost unbearably bright, and you had to shield your eyes from it as you looked towards the horizon. In the distance, you could see a landscape dappled with mountains. Slowly, you were making your way to your next place of residence, Joseon.

The sight of your final destination gave you great relief. You’d been on that ship for what felt like nearly forever, traveling all the way from Venice to New York City and now to Joseon. As usual, you accompanied your parents. Your father was a diplomat who brought you and your mother along on all of his travels. Ever since you were very young, you’d grown accustomed to that way of life. Always traveling, always experiencing something new.

Though you enjoyed having the privilege to travel the world, you often longed for more permanence in your life. You loved your parents, but they were the only people you felt truly close to, having no siblings to share the experience with. Because you traveled so much, making friends or having relationships was incredibly difficult. You sent letters as much as you could, but with it being awfully slow and your location changing so much it was hard to keep relationships that way.

Eventually, you learned to grow accustomed to your emotional isolation. You focused your energy on studying language and culture, taking advantage of everywhere you’d traveled. As you got older, you worked as a translator at the many consulates, legations, and embassies you visited. However, your next destination, Joseon, is somewhere you’d never traveled before.

As a diplomat, your father was an expert at socializing with everyone, from the upper elite class to the servants. He thrived in political environments, creating connections between entire countries with tactful negotiation. His success in his work is exactly why he was tasked with visiting and creating meaningful connections with Joseon for your country.

You were excited to visit a place you’d never been before. For the past few years you’d gone back and forth between the United States and Europe, and you were dying to go somewhere new, learn a new language, and experience a new culture. Luckily, you already had a friend, Kyle Moore, who you knew would be in Hanseong already. You’d met him from a previous visit to New York City when your father had you do some translating work for the US Marine Corps. Knowing you had a friend in this new place gave you some comfort, and you were excited to meet new people as well.

~~~

Eugene Choi sat at his desk at the American legation in Joseon, leisurely reading through various documents. The air was cold outside but he had a fresh cup of hot coffee, just as bitter but comforting still. He was grateful for little things that reminded him of home. His real home.

Being back in Joseon caused a great deal of conflict inside his mind and his heart. As he walked the streets, he was respected, but he didn’t belong. He never did. But did he even want to? Did he want to belong to a world that had rejected him from his very first breath?

He knew he didn’t. But, deep down inside, he just wanted to belong to something. He wanted something, somewhere, to truly feel like home. He worked hard for a good life in America, and it was the place he found his freedom. But there was always someone or something to remind him that he wasn’t like everyone else.

Luckily, he had Kyle as his closest friend, always there to make him feel accepted and normal. If it weren’t for Kyle, who knows where Eugene would be at this point. Especially considering the fact he just got promoted for saving his life.

Just as he was thinking back to their last battle together, Kyle walked into Eugene’s office, his own cup of coffee in hand. Although it was getting late in the afternoon, they both had tons of paperwork to go through since arriving in Hanseong - their prestigious promotions being put to good use.

“Seems like you’ve also got a lot to work through there.” He motioned to the piles of documents on Eugene’s desk.

Eugene sighed. “Not exactly what I was expecting when we arrived here.”

Kyle softly chuckled. “Well, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s a ship arriving from New York City today. If I remember correctly, I know someone on that boat who may be able to help us out.”

~~~

You walked through the entrance of the Glory Hotel with your parents, beyond exhausted. As your parents were getting your rooms, you looked around at what would be your home for the foreseeable future. The hotel was charming and comfortable. You looked into the dining area and noticed several American military men. As you scanned the room, you noticed Kyle Moore stand up and wave to you, excitedly calling out your name.

You gave a polite smile and walked towards him. “It’s good to see you again, Kyle.”

“How was your trip?”

“Exhausting, of course.” You scoffed playfully and noticed the man sitting next to him at the table. Instantly, you recognized him from a previous visit to New York. Though you hadn’t formally introduced yourselves, you had seen him in passing. His face was definitely not one to forget.

You gave him a soft smile and Kyle introduced him. “This is my friend, Eugene Choi.” He nodded politely towards you before Kyle continued. “You know, I was actually thinking today, are you looking for a job?”

You chuckled. “Well, we’ve just arrived, so I guess I haven’t gotten a job yet. Do you have something for me?”

“Absolutely. First thing tomorrow morning, come see us at the legation.”

The thought of waking early in the morning after your exhausting trip made your stomach drop. “Oh… first thing?”

Eugene chimed in. “Why don’t we give her some time to rest first?”

Kyle nodded. “I guess you’re right. We’ll give you a day to settle in, get used to your new surroundings.”

“Alright. I’ll see you then.” You turned to Eugene. “Nice to meet you.” You were about to turn to leave before Eugene stood up and reached his hand out to shake yours. His hand was warm in yours, and he sat back down with Kyle, staying silent. A bit awkward, but it just made you want to know more about him.

~~~

You spent the next day relaxing and settling into your new home, and before you knew it found yourself at the American legation the following morning. Kyle and Eugene sat in Eugene’s office, casually going over some documents. The smell of coffee immediately flooded your senses and gave you comfort. Coffee was something you could count on being in almost every part of the world, and you were grateful you could find it here.

The two of them looked up as you entered the room, Kyle excitedly standing from the desk next to Eugene.

“Good morning! Have you settled in well since arriving?”

You smiled and nodded, “I have, I appreciate the day off yesterday.”

Kyle scoffed, “Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s definitely needed, seeing the work Eugene has for you.” He playfully raised his eyebrows and motioned to the mountain of papers on the desk he was sitting at.

Eugene sighed, his lips slightly turning at the ends. “It’s not that bad, Kyle. Just light translating work.”

“That’s practically an encyclopedia! You’re basically putting her through torture, you know that?”

You laughed as Eugene rolled his eyes, slowly perusing through the documents. They were in various languages, most of which you knew. You turned towards Eugene, pointing at his cup of coffee.

“As long as you have one of those for me, this will be no problem,” you said, giving him a sweet smile. He playfully looked at Kyle, asking him to get you some coffee, but you were momentarily mesmerized by his face yet again and couldn’t even register what he was saying. You immediately questioned how easy this task would actually be.

You were pulled from your trance by Kyle repeating your name, probably for the third or fourth time.

“Hm?”

He softly chuckled, as if he knew exactly what was going through your mind. “How do you take your coffee?”

“Oh, just… just regular. How it comes,” you blurted out, embarrassed.

~~~

As time passed, you quickly settled into a routine, working for the legation most days doing translating work. Your parents were busy most of the time anyways, and even when you weren’t working, you found yourself spending time at the legation doing leisurely activities like reading. You also used this opportunity to learn Korean. Gwan-su helped you immensely, as you helped him with translating work as well. Eugene had also hired a young boy, named Do-mi, to do small tasks at the legation, which now included giving you lessons.

You found yourself in Eugene’s company often, as he was the one giving you documents to translate. And you even found him eavesdropping on your lessons. You quickly figured out he wasn’t able to read or write in Korean, which perplexed you. He was such a mystery to you most of the time, and it only made your curiosity blossom further. You were already entranced by his looks, and his personality didn’t help either.

You felt yourself developing romantic feelings for him, something you weren’t normally accustomed to. Making connections with others was difficult enough aside from falling for someone. Who knew when you’d have to be whisked away to another corner of the world, never to see him again? It made no sense to fall for Eugene when each day might be one of the last you’d spend with him.

It’s not that you’d never fallen for someone before, or even made a friend, but you always knew when to stop yourself. When the potential loss was just too great for you to risk. Keeping everyone at an arm’s length was simply protecting yourself.

But it didn’t make it all any less painful.

~~~

It was another day of translating at the legation when Eugene announced he was stepping out early for the day. You already knew what you needed to complete that day, so silently you were thankful you wouldn’t have to spend more time with him. It was becoming increasingly hard for you to keep your mind from wandering about him, especially when he was in the same room as you.

You couldn’t stop yourself from wondering what he was really like behind closed doors, what his true likes and dislikes were… what he thought about you. You’d see him read books, play games of tennis with Kyle, listen to music occasionally, just go about his life like normal, and you craved to be a part of it all. You knew your lifestyle made you crave stability on some level, but with Eugene it was unlike anything else. Suddenly, your craving for a true home was the biggest problem in the world. The thought of leaving behind this little life you’d created, even if it was fleeting, was nothing short of devastating.

So you tried your best to suppress those feelings that threatened to upend your life in every way, just like you always had. And Eugene leaving for the day was a small victory in achieving that.

After finishing your work, you walked the streets of Hanseong and decided to treat yourself to some candy from the bakery. Seeing some of the international sweets brought fun memories from places you’d been to in the past, and you ultimately decided on some of the peppermint candies. For a brief moment, you were reminded that maybe you were okay just by yourself.

On your way back to the legation, before heading to the hotel, you saw Eugene in the street. From afar everything seemed normal, but as you got closer you noticed a look of utter despair on his face. As you approached him, your heart was flooded with concern. He didn’t seem to notice you until you were right in front of him.

“Eugene? Are you okay?”

He seemed to be instantly pulled from his thoughts. He scanned your face briefly before clearing his throat. “Oh, uh… yeah. Yes, I’m fine. Thanks.” He was short with his words, his usual polite, positive tone of voice now devoid of emotion.

You eyed him suspiciously, noticing his swollen eyes. Clearly he’d been crying recently, but you didn’t exactly want to call him out on whatever happened if he didn’t want to talk about it. You slowly nodded.

“Alright, well… I just went to the bakery,” you looked down at the bag of candies, pulling one from the bag. “Want one?”

He stared at your hand for a second, then your face, looking bewildered. “No, that’s alright. Thank you though.”

You nodded again, feeling awkward and unsure. You wanted to console him but didn’t know what to say.

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow th-”

“Do you want to get a drink?” He suddenly said, anxiety clear in his tone of voice. He nodded towards the nearby bar.

It was your turn to be surprised. You looked around for a moment, saying, “Sure, I guess I’ve got nothing better to do.” You gave an awkward chuckle.

Eugene gave you a soft smile and began walking towards the bar.

Unbeknownst to you, Eugene had similar feelings blossoming for you. He practically lived for the moment you’d walk into his office each morning, your sweet, cheerful face greeting him every time. He always made sure to have a cup of coffee for you ready, that way you two could enjoy it together and chat a little before getting to work. Romance and romantic feelings never came naturally to him, so he was surprised that you were on his mind so much lately.

But just like you, he struggled with the idea of home, a true home. Being back in Joseon was like psychological warfare. Everything from his past was being forced to come up to the surface, and he couldn’t suppress it like he usually could. Though it was painful, he had to try to reconcile and make peace with his past. He tried to do that today, in search of his parents grave, but his efforts were futile. Instead he has to grapple yet again with an unimaginable pain he’s lived with for as long as he can remember.

He knew he had feelings for you, and wanted nothing more than to pursue you, but how could he do that to you with all of the baggage he was carrying? In his mind, you didn’t deserve his problems. But today, he just couldn’t help himself, your smile a respite from his world all but crashing down around him.

The two of you walked into the bar and sat down, ordering a bottle of alcohol and grabbing a few cups. You’d never been to this bar before. There were a lot of American soldiers, as well as a few of Gu Dong-mae’s men, of whose reputation you were well aware of.

You quietly drank and settled into your seat, glancing at Eugene every so often to gauge his emotions. Clearly something devastating just happened to him and he just wanted to get his mind off of it.

“Do you go here often?” you asked.

Again, Eugene seemed to be pulled out of his thoughts. “Oh, sometimes… The soldiers like to come here a lot.” He gestured to everyone around you.

You nodded silently, unsure of what else to say.

Eugene eyed you for a moment. “Did you complete the rest of your tasks today?”

“Yes, all done. Just like normal,” you politely nodded and took a sip of your drink. You suddenly felt like you were talking to your boss rather than a friend.

Eugene nodded silently. At a table across the room, one of Gu Dong-mae’s men laughed out loud and leaned towards another at his table.

“I don’t think they’re on a date, I mean, if they are it definitely isn’t going well, just look at them!”

You were confused for a moment. Were they talking about you and Eugene? You gave the man a confused, somewhat embarrassed look. The table just laughed to themselves and continued drinking.

You made small talk with Eugene for a bit, feeling awkward but happy to have more time to spend with him, despite your efforts to be emotionally detached earlier. He seemed to open up a little after drinking more, but you could tell he was hiding an immense pain.

He stood up to get another bottle, and one of Dong-mae’s men stood up and approached you.

“Are you really on a date with him?”

You looked at him, appalled. “Excuse me?”

One of the other men stood up and attempted to pull the man back to the table, to no avail.

“Let go of me, I’m just asking her a simple question.”

“Sit down and stop bothering people.”

The man became increasingly frustrated. He was clearly wasted, swaying back and forth. “I’m not bothering anyone! Let go!”

Eugene quickly approached the table and set the bottle down with a loud thud. “You need to leave, now.”

That angered the man even more. He attempted to yell something but ended up slurring his words, almost falling to the ground. His friend attempted to keep him up and pull him away, but the man just pushed him aside. He pulled out his sword in an attempt to intimidate Eugene, but ended up slashing your hand as he did so.

You cried out in pain, quickly standing up and clutching your hand to your chest. Eugene looked at you with pure shock and concern.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” You screamed and slapped the man, your pain quickly turning to anger. You weren’t a stranger to creepy, entitled men, and you’d trained yourself how to deal with them as best you could. The man looked confused, not even realizing what he did. Before anyone else could intervene, you clutched the man’s collar and shoved him to the ground. It wasn’t hard as he was already unsteady on his feet. Resting a foot on his chest, you quickly took hold of his sword and rested it on his neck.

At this point you didn’t even register the blood rushing from your injured hand. Everyone looked at you in shock, not bothering to intervene.

“I should cut your hands off for that, shouldn’t I?” You glanced at Eugene, still looking at you in shock.

The man was just a blubbering mess beneath you, unable to form a complete sentence. You pressed on his chest further, the sword leaving a small cut on his neck. “Should I or should I not?”

He cried out. “No! Please, no!”

You looked at him with pure disgust, then around you. Everyone was watching you, watching this man beg beneath you. The social shaming he’d receive for this seemed sufficient enough for you, and you knew he’d already be punished by his own for his recklessness, so you slowly stepped off of him and dropped his sword.

“If I see your face again I won’t be so kind.”

You quickly stormed out of the bar without so much as a thought of where to go next. Eugene quickly followed behind and pulled you to a stop.

“Stop! Your hand.” He gently grabbed your hand and you looked down, finally noticing the large gash and blood smeared everywhere.

Suddenly the pain came rushing back into your senses, and you cried out. The wound was much deeper than you anticipated. Eugene quickly grabbed his handkerchief and wrapped it around your hand. The pressure stung but you knew you needed to stop the bleeding. Tears flowed down your face as the pain radiated up your arm.

“Come with me.” Eugene gently wrapped his arm around your shoulders, holding your hand in his, and quickly led you back to the legation where he knew he could tend to your wound.

Silently, he chastised himself for not being there to protect you. He should’ve intervened before you got hurt. But nonetheless he was beyond impressed at how you handled the situation. He would’ve never expected you to be so confident in disarming that man. Though he was solely focused on helping you now, he couldn’t help but notice those familiar feelings for you blossoming to the surface once again, stronger than ever.

Once you reached the legation, you sat in his office clutching your hand as he got the necessary tools and medicines. The ointments stung and he tried his best to numb the area as he stitched you up, but the pain was almost unbearable. You were uncontrollably sobbing and crying out of pain, though you were trying your best to keep it in. You didn’t even register that Eugene was finished until he started softly wiping your face of tears and sweat.

You blinked through your tears and saw your hand entirely wrapped in bandages, the pressure somewhat subduing the pain now. Eugene looked disheveled, his sleeves rolled up, blood smeared on his arms and hands. He was looking at you with intense concern.

You took a deep breath in and grabbed the handkerchief he was using to wipe your face. You finished wiping yourself, feeling embarrassed now that you were feeling a bit better.

“Thank you. I’m sorry,” you softly scoffed to yourself, as if this was all just a big inconvenience for him.

He began to wipe his hands clean. “It’s not your fault. Don’t be sorry.”

You met eyes and lingered just a moment longer than usual, before you quickly stood up to gather yourself. It had been quite the day for both of you, and as much as you wanted to spend time with Eugene you felt your defenses come up yet again. If you looked at him for even another second, you felt you’d lose all control and cross the line you tried so hard to obey.

You were about to walk out of the room without saying another word before Kyle quickly stormed in.

“What happened? I heard there was a situation.”

Silently, you were relieved Kyle was there to break the tension you felt. “Oh, I just had a little cut from some drunk pulling out his sword at the bar.” You rolled your eyes as if it was nothing.

Eugene loudly scoffed. “It wasn’t just a little cut. I just gave her stitches.”

You sighed. “I’m fine. Thank you,” you said, still avoiding eye contact.

Kyle looked at you disapprovingly. “Well, I hope you’re heading back to the hotel to rest now. And not alone I presume?” He glanced at Eugene.

You quickly responded, “Actually, why don’t you walk me there?”

Kyle glanced again at Eugene, sensing the weird awkwardness between you two. You didn’t bother waiting for a response and continued your way out of the legation, Kyle eventually catching up to you.

Eugene sat alone, somewhat dumbfounded. He thought he should be offended at your quick exit, but sensed your embarrassment and let it go. You had done the same for him earlier, and he knew it was probably for the best.

As you and Kyle walked back to the hotel, Kyle eyed you warily.

“Everything alright?”

Pulled from your thoughts, you perked up. “Hm? Of course. This should be healed in no time.”

He slowly nodded. “I’m sure it will. Eugene is very good at those kinds of things.”

You nodded back, staying silent, which further elevated Kyle’s curiosity into concern.

“Is everything… okay with you two?”

“What? Of course, why do you ask?”

“You seemed like you needed any sort of excuse to get away from him earlier.”

You blinked, unsure what to say. It wasn’t exactly false but you weren’t about to divulge all of your complicated feelings to Kyle at that moment.

He furrowed his eyebrows. “You know you can tell me if anything is wrong. I’ve known Eugene for a long time and I trust him with my life, but if he did any-”

“Oh my god, no, he didn’t do anything wrong, if that’s what you’re asking! No, he’s great. Eugene is great. Please, don’t think anything like that.”

Kyle nodded slowly as the two of you approached the entrance of the Glory Hotel.

“If anything, that’s the problem,” you softly said, almost under your breath but enough that Kyle heard it.

He stopped walking as you entered the hotel, giving you a curious look. You were a bit embarrassed so you quickly said your goodbye and rushed to your room, exhausted for many different reasons.

~~~

After that day, things mostly went back to normal. You spent your days with Eugene at the legation, and were reminded of how he helped you that night often. The memories of his hands on yours, of him wiping your face clean, and the look of genuine concern for you flooded your mind constantly. And now that Kyle had suspicions of your feelings for Eugene, he decided to use it for his own personal entertainment.

Kyle had known Eugene for a very long time and knew he wasn’t the romantic type, but easily noticed how he was falling for you. He knew it was a complicated situation, but didn’t see harm in having a little fun with it. He’d often invite the two of you to have lunch or coffee with him, only to make up some excuse for him to attend to, leaving the two of you by yourselves.

You were often embarrassed by Kyle’s tactics, as was Eugene, but you were happy to spend time with Eugene, though it made your longing for him even stronger. As time passed, you became more and more anxious at the day when you’d have to leave, so you cherished any moment you could have.

Eugene also felt this anxiety, this increasing worry that eventually you’d have to leave Joseon. He was constantly torn between keeping a distance or taking advantage of any moment he had with you. It was like this constant push and pull, both of you wanting more from each other but too scared to risk what little you already had.

One day, while working in Eugene’s office, Gwan-su cheerfully walked in, carrying a large covered basket, and sat next to you. He looked at you with a devilish smile, as if he had a secret to tell you. He leaned in, whispering.

“I have a surprise for you. Don’t ask questions, just go along with it.”

You looked at him confused, about to ask what in the world he was talking about, before Kyle walked in.

“Gwan-su, you wanted to speak with me?”

He softly chuckled to himself. “Yes, come with me. You too.” He pointed to you as he walked to a nearby hallway.

You and Kyle looked at him curiously as he looked like he could barely contain his excitement.

“I know it’s been busy here at the legation lately, so I wanted to give you two a break.”

As you continued looking confused, Kyle questioned, “What do you mean?”

“Listen. Take the rest of the day off and walk down the path to the river. Take this, and have a nice picnic. You guys deserve it.”

He handed the basket to Kyle as the two of you were still puzzled.

“And why isn’t Eugene invited to this nice picnic you’ve planned for us?” Kyle asked.

Gwan-su smiled devilishly yet again. “I can see you’ve been trying to get some alone time,” he gestured towards you, “but Eugene is always there.”

Your face instantly turned red as Kyle stared at him incredulously, before laughing out loud. For a moment, you thought Gwan-su was serious. Did Kyle have feelings for you?

Kyle continued laughing, “Wait, is that what this is all about?”

Now it was Gwan-su’s turn to be confused. “Well, yes, I mean, I thought-”

“Gwan-su, you’re a great friend, you know that?’ Kyle could barely contain his laughter still. “But I’m not interested in her. In that way. We’re just friends!”

You breathed a sigh of relief. Gwan-su looked beyond embarrassed, and gave you an apologetic look.

“My apologies, I guess I read the situation wrong. Uh, just keep the basket, I’ll be on my way now.” He quickly walked away to avoid further embarrassment.

You chuckled out of surprise as Kyle sighed. He handed you the basket. “He’s a funny one, isn’t he? You can take this, I have some things to work on.” As he was walking away, he turned back towards you. “And maybe you might have a better use for it?” he winked before leaving the building.

You stood in the hallway, holding the heavy basket, wondering what to do next. As you turned back towards Eugene’s office, you saw him standing in front of his office, curiosity clear on his face. He almost looked like he was… pouting?

“What was that all about?”

“Oh nothing, just Gwan-su trying to set up Kyle and I on a date, or something,” you chuckled to yourself.

Eugene’s face went slightly red, and he eyed the basket. You handed it to him as you walked back to your desk. “Take a look, I have no use for it.” You sat down and continued what you were working on before.

Eugene quickly looked through the basket, finding a blanket and tons of food to eat. He paused for a moment, then turned to you.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“Hm? I guess so, what’s in there?”

“Oh, uh, a lot of things actually. You know, it’s a nice day out…”

You eyed him, wondering if he was really about to ask you what you thought he would. In Eugene’s mind, he simply couldn’t pass up this chance.

“Why don’t we go on that picnic?”

~~~

You sat on the blanket with Eugene, under the shade of a nearby tree with the river flowing calmly in front of you. The weather was perfectly warm, the sun bright but not too bright. It was completely idyllic. You were lazily eating some fruit as you and Eugene talked.

“You’ve really never been fishing?”

You giggled. “Nope, never.”

“Even with all the places around the world you’ve been too?” He looked at you incredulously.

“I really haven’t! I don’t even know how.”

Eugene scoffed. “You know how to disarm a man but not how to fish. How does that happen?”

You laughed. “I guess no one’s taught me before.”

He eyed you, as if he was plotting something. Your heart leapt.

He looked away, smirking. “I’ll just have to teach you then.”

“Well, you better be careful, I might be better at it than you.”

He laughed out loud. “That’s alright. I doubt it but,” he paused as you laughed. He couldn’t help but admire you. “That’s alright.”

You sighed, taking another bite and observing your surroundings. “It’s so beautiful here.”

“How does it compare to the rest of the world?”

“It’s definitely up there,” you said, smiling. You looked at him curiously. “It’s not like you haven’t been to a lot of different places too. What do you think?”

He sighed, looking away. “It’s fine.”

You watched him as his expression softened into something sadder, something melancholy.

“Do you like being back here?” you asked. You never really pushed any serious subjects like this with Eugene, but this intimate space made it easier.

He looked down, and you almost changed the subject but he answered. “I don’t know. It’s strange. It’s where I was born but… I don’t feel like I belong. I never belonged here.”

“Do you feel that way in New York?”

He thought for a moment. “Sometimes. Only sometimes.”

You nodded. You knew that feeling all too well. “It’s difficult, isn’t it?”

“Hm?”

“Feeling like you don’t quite fully fit in somewhere. Never knowing where home really is.”

“Yeah… Do you feel that way a lot?”

You paused. “I do. I’m thankful I get to travel so much, but it’s hard to get close to anyone when I’m always going somewhere else. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere either.”

Eugene softly chuckled but stayed silent.

“What?” you asked, almost offended.

“Nothing. It’s just, it doesn’t seem that way at all.”

“Oh?”

“It seems like… It feels like you belong here. Like you could belong anywhere.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you laughed. “I wish that were true. You’re not making any sense, Eugene.”

He sighed. “I just mean that when you’re around, you belong. I’m sure you’re like that everywhere you go.”

You held his gaze, your face flushing and your heart going a mile a minute at this point. You couldn’t even think of anything to say.

Eugene knew he was being bold, but he couldn’t stop himself, couldn’t keep so much inside anymore. He knew if he didn’t have you around to keep him company, to make this place seem more beautiful than what he thought, it would be almost unbearable being there. Seeing you admire everything in awe, showing genuine interest in the culture, helped him see his birthplace in a different light. He was so used to feeling like an outsider because of where he came from. It didn’t fix everything in his heart but it gave him some solace, which was more than he could ever ask for.

“You make me think I can have things that I can’t have,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“As if… impossible things seem possible.”

“Like what?”

“Like I can move forward from all of this. Like I’m more than all of this.”

You scoffed, overwhelmed. You clearly used humor often as a coping mechanism to hide your true feelings. “You’re giving me too much credit.”

He gave you a stern look. “You don’t give yourself enough.”

You held your breath at that look. That line you drew between you two, the line you tried so hard to keep yourself from crossing, was disintegrating in your mind. It excited and scared you at the same time.

“Eugene… you are more than this. You always have been.” In your mind, it was obvious.

He sighed, looking down, pausing for a few moments. “I hope you’re right about that.”

“I’m right about most things, but you knew that already.”

He laughed. It made your heart flutter a million times at once.

“And whatever you think you can’t have… you can have it.”

He looked at you, and you could see the swirl of emotions written all over his face. You were sure the same emotions were all over yours too, and somehow you sensed that he understood exactly what you meant and felt. In that moment, you felt you understood him completely too. And for the first time your heart didn’t ache at what was left unsaid. It was as if both of you already knew.

next chapter

#eugene choi x reader #mr. sunshine #mr. sunshine fanfiction #eugene choi #reader insert #kdrama

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