#at 30 i realized i had no gender
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i've got like. five different books i'm in the middle of reading right now LOL they all scratch different itches. im going to try to read 52 books this year which seems like a lot but half of what i read are graphic novels so it's not that bad, im already ahead of schedule. maybe i'll post little blurbs on my thoughts as i finish each (would probably be a good brain exercise). "shelving" anything i don't plan on finishing any time soon.
At 30 I Realized I Had No Gender - a memoir by a 50 y/o intersex person living in japan. it's been interesting to see cultural similarities and differences, as well as a perspective from an older trans person, and is usually what i pick up when i want something lighter. it's fun to read just hasn't sunk its claws into my brain like some other books (including books i've read recently that i hated)
Akira Vol 1 - reading through the entire series this year. hasnt grabbed me quite the same way the movie did, i think because what got me obsessed (and i mean a literal obsession) with the movie was a lot of the mood set by music and artistic choices. sup early on, but again my hang up here is just that it hasnt hooked me emotionally so far
The Dispossessed - ok SORRY. im having trouble with this one. i havent read a lot of le guin, my main engagement with her work is omelas. still very early into this one, but the writing style feels very detached and reserved compared to omelas. i assume of course the voices for each piece were developed specifically for the needs of each, which are VERY different but idk. i hope it picks up, if it doesn't i'll try earthsea and if i don't like that le guin just may not be for me:/
goodnight punpun vol 1 - grabbed this on a whim at a local bookstore today, has been on my list for a LONG time. it's great so far as expected. i generally know that the story gets really dark, and seeing the tone i understand why people get so distinctly unsettled by it. excited to keep reading:) since this one has my attention the most right now it's my book of the week
capitalist realism is there no alternative - i have like one chapter of this left LOL. im awful about reading theory but im just trying to remember how to use me noggin right so i'll worry about nonfiction later. might finish this as a commute audiobook. would shelve this but since i have so little of it left i might as well try and finish it soon
house of leaves - i was so excited to read this last year when i decided to start reading again i picked it up immediately. unfortunately i am still regrowing the brain cells necessary to follow this competently for the time being. SHELVED!
#at 30 i realized i had no gender#akira#the dispossessed#goodnight punpun#capitalist realism#house of leaves#shou arai#katsuhiro otomo#ursula k le guin#inio asano#mark fisher#mark z danielewski#reading log
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
At 30 I Realized I Had No Gender Manga
"At 30 I Realized I Had No Gender" is a compelling and thought-provoking documentary series that follows the life journey of Alex, an individual who embarks on a remarkable exploration of their gender identity after reaching a crucial milestone in their life. This groundbreaking docuseries delves into the deeply personal experiences, challenges, and triumphs that accompany self-discovery and acceptance.
As Alex courageously dives into introspection, they confront societal norms and expectations to unravel the complexities of their own gender identity. The series showcases how their journey impacts not only themselves but also those around them – family, friends, colleagues, and romantic partners – who must grapple with preconceived notions about gender as well.
Throughout the captivating episodes, viewers gain insight into various pivotal moments in Alex's life. From coming out to loved ones and navigating through different communities to seeking support from experts in the field of gender studies and understanding the significance of pronouns – each chapter pushes boundaries and prompts viewers to question their own understanding of gender.
This gripping series aims to challenge conventional beliefs about gender while fostering empathy for those whose identities defy traditional categorizations. Through heartwarming stories of personal growth, resilience, and realization, "At 30 I Realized I Had No Gender" offers viewers an engaging portrayal of one person's transformative journey towards self-acceptance in an ever-evolving world. Get ready for an eye-opening exploration that celebrates diversity and advocates for understanding at its core!
Please show your support for the talented manga author of 'At 30 I Realized I Had No Gender Manga' by purchasing a copy of this incredible work on gekimanga.com. By doing so, you not only contribute to the success of this brilliant artist but also help in promoting inclusive storytelling and diverse representation in the manga industry. Let us unite in celebrating creativity and kinship by getting this thought-provoking manga today at gekimanga.com!
1 note
·
View note
Text
Few days late, but happy pride from your local doofus who, despite intellectually grasping that nonbinary can be anything outside the binary and is not stuck on some invisible slider, only JUST really had the realization that he can identify as "a guy, And More" literally a couple of days ago and therefore still id as nonbinary
All bc his brain is slow and was subconsciously placing genders on an invisible slider that went against his technical understanding of gender theory
Happy pride, you can do whatever and be whatever, don't let your brain play mean tricks on you this June kids!
#im nearly 30 and have grasped on Some Level that gender isn't so limited for at least a decade now#but clearly my brain is either slow on the uptake (very like me) or still hung up on archaic gender models from society (also like me)#bc when I thought about identifying as enby after realizing im a trans guy it emotionally felt like a regressive move#ie my brain had this guy-nonbinary-girl slider fsr that I felt like I was moving backwards on#and while backtracking back to nonbinary which I did ID as wasn't Bad#it felt Wrong to say that's what my gender was#i didn't want my gender to be 'guy except not' and I only realized this past week it's Allowed And Ok to be 'guy except More'#and that counts! entirely! im just ! so freaking slow if no one spells out these concepts to me istg snfjsjfjskcns#so yeah! hopefully it's not just me and maybe I open someone else's eyes with this#or at least maybe someone already went through this neat lil epiphany and Gets It#internalized transphobia cw#ig??? idk if that's the cause or not but just to be safe#blablablah#trans#nonbinary#happy pride
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
When I made my Facebook account back in 2009 I set my birth year as far back as it would let me, which was 1905, and it's a recurring joke with my friends that I'm an over a century old mildly out of touch immortal.
So, I'll be turning 118 in a couple months.
#textpost#I had to look it up because I thought it was 1913 but man apparently I'm WAY older than that hahaha#I exported my FB data before deleting it and it's funny to look over#My gender was set as male YEARS before I realized I was trans. I did it to piss people off. I was a very spiteful teenager#There didn't used to be a limit for how many people you could list as your father so I had like 30 dads at one point#Then they changed it and forced me to delete some >:/
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love the bias + the fan pairings so much because on the surface its very "oh, well, the bias just has to fall for the fan and then its happily ever after" but no! its way more fun than that!
the fan isnt in love with the bias. in fact, the fan doesnt view this world as reality, nor do they even view their bias as a human. the fun part of this pairing is the fan having to recognize the world they live in as their new reality and the people around them as people! the bias falling for the fan is just part one, the fan falling for the bias as an Actual Human Being is just as important an element
#wwaffles bein' an idiot#wwaffles reads stuff#keeps it gender neutral even though i've only seen f!fan/m!bias#miss not-so-sidekick did this pretty well although she did a 'oh this is reality' speedrun#if this one goes well i'd put it up on the same shelf its pretty good so far#we're like 30+ chapters in and she's still referring to him as her favorite character. fantastic#there was another one i was reading that i can't recall the name of (long title i think) that i havent read the end of yet#but it had a similar premise just not done as well#or that is to say. it seemed to skip the 'this is reality now' realization#but the problem with that is HES searching for someone who loves him. and SHE loves him as a fictional character#so hopefully they do address that at some point because that could only go well#anyway back to the actual topic#its actually very similar because cael wants someone who loves him for him#and she just wants him to be happy and to shove all her affection on him because shes his fan#she doesnt even factor herself into the equation of his happiness because he's not real and she is#she's still lowkey thinking she's gonna go home eventually (maybe?? unclear)#anyway i just love this particular subgenre its so good#also what happened to her depression. i mean having a bias is just like that but she wasnt doing so hot either#i wonder if there'll be a antagonists pet reveal where she's actually miserable#and a big part of 'i'll devote my life to my bias!' is that she literally has nothing else to live for
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't believe in anything spiritual but if I were to believe in something it would be that my soul was made to grow up in the 2000s but something happened and my release was delayed.
#if i grew up in the 2000s i would be straight until i was like. 30#aro wouldn't have even been named yet. i mean i might realize i'm ace but it'd be way less likely back then#idk how prominant trans non-eggs were in emo but i would either not question my gender until after i heard 'bigender' or be deeply#conflicted for many years#i said this#they had to wait so i could grow up on minecraft i bet#2000s#emo#personal#(ok to reblog)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i never realized Viktor was missing from Disenchanted Fashions before (or at least tumblr isnt showing him) and i am having so much fun with that bit of freedom towards his wardrobe jfc
#idk what style im drawing him in is technically called#mall goth?? cyber goth??? techwear goth????? it is a lot of belts plus a harness. bro loved Kingdom Hearts#i had several irl friends who were Alternative Gays before they realized they were eggs. something about the gender nonconformity#my favorite part of these aesthetics is the reuse and mending and so i am having fun giving Vik and Amri#patches and having them repurpose certain parts of their wardrobe again and again like Viktor As A Teen has#a belt chain with a star that later becomes a piece of horn jewlery. the pins on his beanie move to his backpack etc#bro always wears the same earrings#its my hc his parents didnt like the aesthetic (hence why his teen picture is so limited in its goth aspects) UNTIL they found#out about the anti-trend aspects and the mending and whatnot like. guarantee he will wear these jeans for 10 yrs and then when they#finally tear-- he's going to use them to help repair another pair of jeans from 10 yrs ago. parents (esp of four kids) LOVE that part#very likely none of this is canon buT FUCK IF IM NOT HAVING FUN#the only thing i know about Vik's canon wardrobe is that leaf shirt so ill add that in for his 30+ yr old picture#i just love the idea of Vik The Goth so much let him be OBNOXIOISLY alternative cmon look at the company he keeps#someone feel free to send me ideas for Luci too bc i have a hc that their wardrobe is based almost entirely off of how their mom would#dress then as part of their parents exercising control over Luci and ''protecting the family name'' so like#i think since Luci is so new to having more freedom from their parents rn that Luci hasnt changed styles and the idea is probably#anxiety-inducing even bc of habitual fear of parental backlash. but like. also i want 30s!Luci to be living their best life#(EDIT: OMG I FORGOT I MADE GIGI'S BIO-MOM A MORTICIA ADAMS STYLE GOTH. OMG THAT MAKES HER BFF BEING#GOTH SO MUCH SWEETER WTF??? AND HER MOM WAS 1/3 DRACA TOO. GIGI DOESNT EVEN REMEMBER HER MOM. OMGGG I DIDNT REALIZE#I DID THAT... THEIR TWO GOTH STYLES ARE SO FUCKING DIFFERENT BUT AHH GISELLE'S MOM WAS A GOTH 1/3 DRACA AND HER BFF/MAYBE BF IS A GOTH 1/2#DRACA WTFFFFF MY BRAIN YALL MY FUCKING BRAIN AND THESE CONNECTIONS AHHH)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have 30 mins lunch break for my 7.5hr customer service shift and im spending it desperately trying to stay caught up with the 4hrs of lecture this fucking job is making me miss
#im so sick of this job get me OUT i cant DO IT ANYMORE#and i work tmrw too like eNOUGH#women in stem!!!!#to top it off i had an uncomfortable realization abt the gender double standard at this job too so#great!!#i get off at 18:30 and i have to study when i get home like bffr
0 notes
Text
Tokyopop Highlights At 30 I Realized I Had No Gender: Life Lessons From a 50-Year-Old After Two Decades of Self Discovery
Publisher Tokyopop offers a thoughtful graphic novel memoir that ponders gender, transgender issues, and the daily obstacles faced by gender minorities and members of the LGBTQIA+ community as it highlights At 30 I Realized I Had No Gender: Life Lessons From A 50-Year-Old After Two Decades of Self-Discovery. The graphic novel is available now in print and digitally across all major comics…
View On WordPress
#At 30 I Realized I Had No Gender: Life Lessons From a 50-Year-Old After Two Decades of Self-Discovery#manga#Tokyopop
0 notes
Text
That Time You Got Yeeted Into Another World, Mistaken as a God-Sent Gift, and Used as a Prize in an Arena
Yandere Bear-Man Dilf x Gender Neutral Reader
CW: Noncon, framed for a crime, language barrier, eaten out like it's groceries, biting, scent marking, musk, combat, general yandere behavior
Word Count: 765
(Speed written out of nowhere because I had the idea suddenly, not beta read so please forgive any mistakes. I hope you guys like this ficlet. Also forgive the title, in a game I was playing there was a crossover with "That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime" and I liked the vibe of the title.)
You were framed for a crime you didn't commit and in your village the punishment for that crime was immediate exile via being shoved down a steep crater in the center of which is a one-way portal to what is thought to be Hell.
What no one on your side of the portal knew was that on the other side was just another world. A world that celebrated with a great holiday anytime a human came through the portal. It was also a world populated entirely, with the exception of humans who crossed over, by human-like beast hybrids.
Driders, lion hybrids, nagas, aqrabuamelu (scorpion-men), harpies, dog people, centaurs, minotaurs, gnolls, and many other races that seemed to be part human.
They have a connecting portal in their universe, but any who try to go into it are spat back out. The current went only in one direction.
Every few years, a human would be flung forth from the portal, a gift from the gods! But only the worthy can keep such a gift. So whenever a human comes to the realm from the watcher of the portal will ring the bells and all the warriors assemble and a grand tournament is held at the arena. Whoever wins gets to keep the human and gains enough wealth to care for them properly.
Things are no different when you arrive, you are immediately ushered away, examined, and pampered like a prize doll with no agency. Despite your objections. It seems like only the keeper of the portal has any rudimentary undestanding of your language, not that it helped you. He didn't explain much and his speech wasn't that great. Something about... a big game?
You were naturally frightened beyond all reason, seeing all these beast-men, but it didn't seem like you were being harmed. It really wasn't what you thought hell was going to be like.
On the day of the big tournament, you were dressed in the finest silks, given a tiny crown of silver, and taken to the best seat in the arena. One where everyone could see you. A cushioned throne was provided for you to sit upon. You figured that this must be a ceremony to welcome people from the portal.
You watched as all the combatants sparred. At first you were horrified, but it became evident that people could yield and death was, almost always, avoided. There were combatants of every variety.
Even from the start the best seemed to be a naga woman named Eeris and a bear-man named Brakwen. As they advanced through the fights they both finally made it to the finals where they'd clash. Eeris favored twin daggers and fangs while Brakwen used claws and brute strength. He had a sword but had not resorted to using it.
It was a mighty battle but Brakwen the bear-man managed to win. You still did not yet realize you were the prize. Not until you were escorted down to him and were carried bridal style out of the arena with the crowd cheering. Brakwen had won the god's favor!
From close up he looked even more imposing. He seemed to be in his late 30s to early 40s. He mostly looked like a hairy man from far away though up close his massive size, sharp teeth, claws, thick fur covering his arms and quite frankly adorable bear ears, gave him away. He was rugged but admittedly rather handsome. You knew there was nothing you could do so you let him carry you away.
Despite the language barrier, Brakwen did his best to please his god-given prize. He could tell you feared him. Especially since you tried to run off a few times. But Brakwen didn't get angry. You never even managed to get past the door. Even if you did there were two gates outside the house. You were far too valuable to let wander off.
Eventually when you had stopped running off, and when his rut demanded he wait no longer, he began acting a bot more aggressove and sexual towards you.
Though you tried to stop him it ended with him stretching out your hole with his powerful tongue, lubing you up with his copious amounts of drool, and sliding into you with his massive musky cock.
That's what your life was now. Being treated like a fragile precious gem most of the time and then for one week out of every month you were fucked full of hot bear cum in every possible position, bitten possessively, and scent marked by being forced to wear his oversized clothing.
#yandere teratophilia#yandere terato#yandere x reader#monster boyfriend#gender neutral reader#yandere monster#yandere boyfriend#male yandere x gn reader#my ocs#My OC Brakwen#yandere exo#yandere exophilia
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
There's a very cute manga about coming out as nonbinary in the 1990s by a 50-year-old writer Shou Arai, At 30, I Realized I Had No Gender: Life Lessons From a 50-Year-Old After Two Decades of Self-Discovery. You can order it here.
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
"do you like me?" "nope."
gojo satoru x reader summary: even yuuji realizes that gojo has a crush on you, but you're oblivious as ever w/c: 1.1k tags/warnings: ft. yuuji and megumi. fluff. super light angst. lots of banter. a lil mutual pining. yuuji and gojo being chaotic. gender neutral reader. a/n: not sure how this turned out, but it was fun to write! masterlist check out my latest work for gojo here
"(l/n)-sensei!!"
you're trying to relax and really, fifteen minutes is all you want, but these days that seems impossible.
you turn your head toward the sparring field just in time to see yuuji fly into a tree about 30 yards away. megumi is already on the ground struggling to get up.
meanwhile gojo is prancing, literally prancing, in the opposite direction. you walk toward the group with a mixture of annoyance and disappointment playing across your features, all your hope for some peace and quiet crushed.
"that was awesome!" the pink haired boy shouts from amid a mess of leaves and branches.
gojo gushes over the praise, his hands pressing against his cheeks. "thank you, yuuji! it's nice to know someone around here appreciates my unmatched strength."
"i don't remember offering to be a part of the demonstration," megumi grumbles, finally rising to his feet.
his demeanor is less than pleased and you glance at him sympathetically before turning to gojo. "you do know that you're an adult, right? like, as in, a fully grown man."
"(y/n)-chaaaaan, you're always so mean to me," he whines, grabbing your hands dramatically. "what have i done to deserve such cruel treatment?"
"today or in general?" you pretend to think for a second. "i seem to remember you waking me up at seven this morning so that you didn't have to go to your meeting with masamichi-san alone-"
"he was mad at me for skipping the last one i had!"
"-and then you hid my phone for almost an hour because i wouldn't give you my last candy bar-"
"i was starving, (y/n)-chan! it wasn't my fault, you know that!"
"-and then you destroyed that tree, which i really happened to like by the way."
his gaze flickers toward that direction, the splintered wood a sad remnant of what it used to be, then throws his arms in the air. "this is so unfair!"
"(l/n)-sensei! did you see?" yuuji calls out, already fully recovered and bounding toward you.
"i sure did." you chuckle at his tattered clothes and unfazed attitude.
"what'd ya think?"
you really can't bring yourself to scold him, not with all the excitement in his voice. "oh, it was certainly something."
"did you hear that, gojo-sensei?" yuuji lights up.
megumi disguises his laugh with a cough. "i don't think that was a compliment."
the boy visibly deflates so you ruffle his hair. "it was pretty cool, i just don't want you getting hurt." that earns a grin, to your relief.
"so i get yelled at, but you're nice to him?" gojo pouts indignantly.
"yes."
"ugh! this is killing me, (y/n)-chan!" he announces before promptly knocking you to the ground, the action something between a hug and a tackle.
"gojo, get off of me!" you yell, though there's a hint of laughter in your voice.
"i can't! not until you forgive me!"
your giggles ring through the air, music to gojo's ears, and your hands push him away as he tries to tickle your sides. you look like two kids, rolling around in the grass and shouting at one another.
yuuji leans in toward megumi, his voice hushed as if he's about to reveal the world's biggest secret. "i'm starting to think there's something going on between those two."
his friend looks at him as if he's grown a second head. "you're just now noticing?"
~~~
you're making dinner in your apartment while gojo sits on the kitchen floor, his legs splayed out and taking up nearly half of the small room. his blindfold had been discarded at one point or another, something he made a habit of doing when it was just the two of you.
"what are we having tonight, chef?"
"me? i'm having braised chicken thighs. i'm not sure about you though," you tease.
you didn't invite him to dinner, he just kind of followed you back to your place after sparring practice. you don't really mind, you never do, not that you'd ever admit it out loud.
"you wouldn't give me your candy bar and now you won't have dinner with me either? today is the worst! is this still about the tree? i told you i was sorry-"
"geez i was just kidding!" you cut him off. "of course you can have some, but only if you get the flour off the top shelf for me."
"i guess that's a fair trade," he reasons, rising to his feet lazily.
the cabinet is just to your left, so his body presses into yours as he reaches up, the contact making your heart flutter.
"thanks," you exhale when he sets it down within your reach.
he doesn't return to his sitting position, just leans against the counter and watches you carefully stir the ingredients in the pan.
"do you like me?" he inquires suddenly.
"nope."
"hm, do you like like me?" he suggests, a small smirk playing at his lips.
"gojo, that's honestly defamatory."
he rolls his eyes playfully. "c'mon, be serious."
"you be serious," you challenge the usually facetious man.
"i am."
resting your spoon on the pan, you turn to face him, unsure if he's just messing with you like always. the room is silent, save for the faint popping of oil, as he waits for you to say something.
"why do you wanna know?"
"'cause i like you, why else?"
your hands gather the fabric of your apron nervously, crumpling it between your fingers while you avoid his gaze. his words strike you as entirely implausible. after all, he's gojo and you're, well, you.
"you... you shouldn't joke about stuff like that."
he laughs at you and it breaks your heart a little, but then you feel two lithe hands on either side of your face. "(y/n), look at me."
you do, albeit apprehensively, and his eyes bore into your own with an intensity you aren't familiar with. it makes your knees feel weak. a smile tugs at his lips before they capture your own, the movement slow and soft.
your fingers reach up to wrap around his wrist, an attempt to steady yourself against him, before one of his hands travels down to your hip and gives it a light squeeze.
you taste so sweet, feel so perfect in his hands, that gojo kicks himself for waiting so long to kiss you. his lips move to the corner of your mouth, across your cheek, then begin to work their way up your jaw. he hums against your skin, satisfied with the breathy noises he's pulling from your throat.
then, the smell of burning invades your senses and you pull away from each other with wide eyes, exclaiming in unison. "the food!"
#m!writes#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru imagines#gojo#gojo x reader#gojo imagines#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk imagines#gojo fluff
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
Vivian finally being out as trans in the new Paper Mario remake hit me like a truck and it took me a while to fully understand why (light spoilers for chapter 2)
it's like.. I don't know how to describe it. I play a lot of indie games and I've gotten used to many of them having the full array of LGBTQ+ representation, and at this point I look at it and smile and then move on
with a huge corporation who has everything to lose like Nintendo, it feels like an entirely different world. here, I step back into this game I've owned on disc since I was a kid, and everything's the same if not slightly better... and then I start noticing the changes, one by one. picking up all the little clues, when suddenly I get to this line
I had already been spoiled on her full confession by Twitter, but... when I saw even this much with my own two eyes, it felt like something that had been hiding in my mind for 12 years just leapt out. the subtext is now text. the characters of this world that I've thought about all this time, that I would doodle in my notebooks, that I used to read so much fanfiction about... are canonically going through the same real struggles as me and so many others I know
and I just felt... seen. like, as if I'm finally allowed to be a real person, like I'm not crazy for telling people to use gender neutral terms around me, like I'm truly nonbinary and not just in writing
I never really talk about my gender identity in public because I've never had that validation telling me that it's not just in my head. my friends will reassure me, my mom won't hate me for it... but at the end of it all, Nintendo raised me since I was three years old, and that was a pillar of my life whose approval I never expected to have
so when I saw this, I just... sat there, staring, for a full minute. processing these emotions I never even realized I had. it's just one little sentence in a 30 hour long video game, it shouldn't mean that much, but... it did to me. the writers actually cared. they stuck their faces out the window that is the trans experience and they came back and rewrote the script to match. they left the Fire Emblem toad the same, not even changing "GBA" to "Switch" or "3DS", but they knew to change this
thank you, Vivian. I understand how you feel now
669 notes
·
View notes
Text
movie night | s.c. ft b.c.
summary: after a rough day all you wanted was a movie night with your favorite boys, but when they forget it feels like you’re world is crumbling.
wc: 2.1k
warnings: hurt/comfort, fem!reader, gendered terms of endearment (sweet girl, baby girl, etc.), crying, meltdown.
a/n: i kinda got lost in the sauce w this one but week three wooo!!! don’t forget to check out @straykeedz versions!!! i hope you guys enjoy and as always, drink water, eat something, and take ur meds. <3
(i tense switch alot during this, i wrote it half asleep most of the time, i’ll edit it eventually lmao)
my library | bee’s vers | bee | binnie month | fundraiser
(pictures not mine! credit to owners!)
you were having a terrible day, nothing was going right and the only thing keeping you from completely breaking down was the movie night you had planned with your boyfriends.
8 o’clock came and you were all set up in your living room with snacks, blankets and of course wolf chan and dwaekki. you were sat on the couch, barely containing your excitement for the night ahead.
but then 8:15 came and you were still sat there alone, and then 8:20 you decided to send them a gentle reminder.
from sweet girl <3:
hi my loves, i’m all set up for movie night whenever you guys are ready 🖤
but 8:30 rolled around and then 9:00 and by that point you had sent several texts
from sweet girl <3:
i’m assuming you guys are still at the studio, just let me know when you’re on your way! love you guys 🖤
it’s getting kinda late, i hope everything’s okay, love you both very much 🖤🖤
i hope everything’s okay, but it’s getting late so i’m heading to bed, we can do movie night another night, goodnight my loves
now it’s 10:00, you had a terrible day and now the one thing you were looking forward to fell through, you were defeated. at your last texts you moped into your room needing nothing more than your warm bed and comfort movie.
luckily you had already put the snacks away after an hour of waiting realizing they probably forgot. once cozy in bed, you put monsters inc on your tv and pulled the two stuffies to your chest.
it was at this point the realization of what happened hit and you couldn’t stop the breakdown that followed. tears streaming down your face, breathing terribly uneven, and incoherent words falling from your mouth.
“they- they forgot about me.” you whimpered, hugging the plushies impossibly closer to you. the hoodie from changbin that usually helps calm you down, was now just a painful reminder of the two missing people.
you ripped the article of clothing off in an attempt to calm yourself, throwing it across the room. you settled back into the soft mattress, placing the gray and pink plushes to the side, opting for your soft blanket to calm yourself.
luckily after a few minutes your comfort movie had worked it’s magic and you felt yourself relax enough to finally fall into dreamland, tears drying against your skin as you slept.
unbeknownst to you, your boys were scrambling 15 minutes away in the studio. the producers had a habit of locking up their phones during their working hours to limit distractions but unfortunately that caused them to also forget about the plans they made with their favorite girl.
“oh fuck, hyung we gotta go, like now.” changbin shot up out of his chair once he realized the time. they were supposed to be at your apartment 2 hours ago to start movie night. “huh? what, what happened, what’s wrong?” trying to figure out what could’ve pulled such a reaction from the younger boy.
“look at the time,” he points to the time to emphasize his statement. “oh fuck,” the older of the two’s eyes goes as wide a saucers, whipping his head to the former. “we were supposed to be there 2 hours ago.” bin nods his head before moving to shut everything down.
“okay, okay, relax bin, let me save everything, you pack everything up then we can leave, okay?” changbin nods, realizing he’s right, this will all be completely in vain if they lost everything they were working on.
in the midst of gathering their items, changbin finally looks at his phone where he finds all the messages you sent, the last one being sent 15 minutes ago. he quickly texts out a response, hoping you hadn’t fallen asleep yet.
from binbin <3:
princess we’re so so sorry, we got caught up in work, we’re packing and heading to you now. we love you so so much baby. 🩷🩷
he puts his nail in his mouth, gnawing on it anxiously as his leg shakes. after saving all the files and shutting everything down, chan turns back to find a very anxious changbin staring at his phone.
he makes his way next to him, placing his hand on the shaking leg. “hey, what’s going on?” he asks gently. changbin looks up, unshed tears line his soft eyes. “she texted us 11 times.” his breathes, shaking his head, showing him the phone screen.
“and we ignored every single one of them. what if she was hurt? what if something happened? we would’ve never known” he rambles, sending himself further into a spiral.
“hey, hey,” he gently grabs the younger’s cheek, “she’s safe, she’s home in bed asleep,” his thumb slowly stroking his cheek, soothing the anxious man. “we’re going to her now, everything will be okay, okay?” bin nods his head, closing his eyes, letting a stray tear or two run down his cheek.
chan wipes the tears before placing a soft, loving kiss to his temple. “okay, let’s go see our girl.” chan smiles, grabbing his hand pulling him up with him.
once they made it to your apartment (not without breaking a few traffic laws), they let themselves in with the spare key you made them. quickly discarding their shoes, practically running to your room but not without missing the wrapped up snacks in your kitchen or the discarded blanket pile on your couch.
changbin pauses, guilt clutching his heart as he sees your discarded preparations. “come on.” chan quietly ushers, pointing to your room with a quick movement of his head. bin is quick to follow, needing to see you as soon as possible.
chan opens your door, finding a sleeping lump in the middle of your bed and none other than monsters inc playing softly on the screen. that alone told them everything they needed to know but then the thrown hoodie on the floor and two plushies laying next to you instead of clutched to your chest?
they knew they messed up, big time. bin went to rush to you, to wake you up and apologize profusely but chan stops him. “hold on, you might scare her.” bin nods understanding that even though he means well, you were in a very fragile mental state.
the older man carefully sits on the side of your bed, placing a hand to your shoulder. it was only then did he catch a glimpse of the tears stains dried to your chubby cheeks. his breath hitches, causing changbin to look after, catching sight of the same thing, his eyes filling with tears once more.
chan holds out his hand to give him a quick squeeze and a kiss before turning back to the problem at hand. he lays his chin on your shoulder, softly rubbing your arm to coax you awake.
“sweet girl,” he whispers, placing kisses to your shoulder, trying to wake you up as softly as possible. “wake up baby girl.” you slowly come back to consciousness, realizing that there was someone touching you.
you would have been scared if you didn’t recognize the familiar aussie voice. chan sits back as he feels you stir, bin coming to sit beside him, placing a hand to your thigh.. you turn to find your boys looking at you with the softest eyes you’ve ever seen.
you feel the familiar sting behind your eyes but you quickly rub your eyes, masking your tears. “hi” your voice quiet, sleep lacing your voice. “hi sweetheart.” the aussie coos, “hi bunny.” bin whispers, his fingers tracing patterns on your thighs soothing him you.
“we’re sorry baby, we completely lost track of time, and we put our phones away so we didn’t see you texted, we’re just- really sorry bubba.” you nod, willing your tears away before you spoke.
“it’s okay, i understand.” you say lowly, fidgeting with the soft material to keep your composure. but try as you might the two boys knew you all too well.
“no it’s not,” bin finally speaks, causing you to catch a glimpse of him. two streaks shine on his soft cheeks against the glow of the tv, caught your eye. you sit up, moving chan, attempting to reach changbin.
“it’s not okay, we knew we had plans with you today, and not only did we miss it, we ignored you-” you cut him off with a kiss, your hand coming to wipe the wet streaks away. you pull away, your own tears making their way down your chubby cheeks.
“i am upset, but i’m not mad. i just had a bad day and this was the one thing i was looking forward to and it was just the final straw.” pause, sniffling as chan grabs the hand still in your lap.
“i was inconsolable and your hoodie and the stuffies just felt like a reminder of my bad day.” you look down, your hand falling from the soft man’s cheek to your lap, where he grabs your hand. you hear a sniffle, cause your head to shoot up where you find them both with wet streaks on their cheeks.
your lip wobbles as you see your boys upset, you shake your head frantically. before you can even open your mouth, chan shakes his head before moving behind you, pulling you to his chest. binnie moves to sit in chan’s previous position, placing a soothing hand on your thigh.
“do not apologize, you did nothing wrong, us being upset or missing movie night is not your fault, nor is it your problem to fix.” he whispers in your ear, rubbing your soft tummy. your lip wobbles again, dropping your head into your hands as you sob.
bin moves to wrap his arms around you, bringing you to him as best he could with you against chan. they knew you were upset and the best thing for you was to let you cry it out as heart wrenching as your sobs are.
they just hold you as you calm down, binnie rubbing your back, placing kisses to your temple. chan rubbing your tummy, placing kisses to your shoulder.
you pull away once you feel calm enough, wiping your tears as you sniffle. “thank you, both of you, i love you both more than you know.” you give bin a kiss first before turning around as best you could, doing the same to chan.
“come on, let’s get you to sleep, we’ll talk more in the morning, sweet girl, okay?” he pats your tummy, waiting for you to nod your head before moving the blankets to give you space in the middle of the bed. you carefully move over, shivering as you land on the cold side of the mattress.
both boys get up, chan rounding the bed to get to the other side while binnie goes to grab his discarded hoodie. he makes it back to your side as chan sits on the edge of the bed.
“sit it up for me quick bunny. “ he says, kneeling on the bed, scrunching the fabric. you sit up, lifting your arms so he can slip the familiar fabric over your head. once you slide your hands through the sleeves, the hood covering a part of your face.
you give him a cheesy smile before shooting out to wrap your arms around him. he wraps his arms around your shoulders, placing a big kiss to your hood covered head. “mwah!” he plops down next to me, getting comfy under the blankets.
you adjust the hoodie a bit before leaning against the plush pillows. chan lifts up the two stuffies, placing them to your chest, wrapping your arm around them. you smile once again, rolling over to place a big kiss on his cheek.
once you settle back into the bed, they both wrap their arms around you, making you feel safe and secure. “good night bubba, we love you,” chan whispers in your ear before placing a loving kiss to your soft cheek. “so so much bunny.” binnie finishes, placing a kiss to your other cheek.
you melt right into their arms. you get comfortable, turning on your side to face binnie, laying your head on his chest, grabbing chan’s arm to stay around you. “i love you both too, more than you know.” you mumble, placing a kiss to bin’s pec and chan’s hand.
you all melt into each other, relaxing slowly as sleep welcomes you, the soft sounds of monsters inc playing as you all lay peacefully in each other’s arms.
#seo changbin#bang chan#changbin#changbin oneshot#changbin fic#changbin x reader#changbin drabble#changbin imagine#changbin fluff#seo changbin imagine#bang chan fic#bang chan oneshot#bang chan drabble#bang chan fluff#bang chan x reader#bang chan imagine#stray kids#stray kids drabble#stray kids oneshot#stray kids one shot#stray kids fic#stray kids fluff#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagine#ash's archive ‧₊˚✩彡
534 notes
·
View notes
Note
is it okay if I ask for Alastor x Reader who is like angel dusts sibling and reader goes to Angel dust you talk about their lasting crush on Alastor?
Alastor x Reader ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥
EVERYONE SHUT UP! YES I LOVE WINGMAN ANGEL
Not proofread + 4:30 Lilly so writing might differ
Reader is Gender neutral!
Being Angels sibling wasn't easy, at least within in the hotel..or outside of it for that matter; but in the hotel it was definitely better, at least everyone didn't try and talk to you about your brother and instead talk to you.
You however had your eyes on someone very specific, a person not many people would have their eyes on..well, Maybe your brother in a— joking fucking around type of way; but your eyes were looking at the Tall Red demon in a very different way; a fond way you weren't all that used to.
Thing is you were the youngest in your family, that didn't rid you of your family's habits and mannerisms, So you weren't surprised when you ended up in hell alongside most of your family but your brother had kept you away from many scenes, that included partners; so your new found feelings for the Demon were overwhelming, suffocatingly so and you had no idea where to go with it, that lead you to go to the only person you trust in this newly found shit hole
"Anthony?"
"what's up, sweet cheeks?"
Angel was still not used to being called by his real name, But it was allowed in private from prying ears; he set fat nuggets down and sat up on the side of the bed; patting a spot next to him gesturing you to sit with him, a familiar smile on his face while you scooted next to him
"what's on your mind?"
"Alastor."
"oh—"
Angel laughed as you covered your face with your hands, His name bluntly slipping past your lips as you cringed at yourself
"he's like the Boogeyman, don't say his name too loud or he'll appearrr"
You smacked his arm and laughed, watching Angel make "scary" gestures as you both giggled amongst one another, before you patted your thighs and dramatically inhaled and sighed
"yeah yeah.. Boy troubles aye? Been there"
"yeah so help me"
"with him, Sweetie I can pray that's it"
"Anthony!!"
"sorry sorry!!"
Your big brother kneeled over laughing as you scoffed at him, crossing your arms with a pout as you cleared Your throat
"ANYWAY, I need help, I have no idea how to approach him— if at all!"
It took the spider demon a bit to compose himself Before he ran his fingers through his hair before looking at you, a sincere genuine look on his face, his voice soft and gentle; just like you remembered
"I don't know mister cheeky Alastor that much, but he does seem to like you, so I'd say go slow; test the waters or he might rip you to shreds"
You tensed, he was right and you were playing a dangerous game trying to woo the radio demon and you knew that but what'd you have to lose?..oh right your life yeah yeah
Falling flat on the soft bed you groaned; Alastor was tricky especially for someone who'd never flirted in their life so this was uncharted territory and you weren't exactly starting on beginner mode, you skipped straight to expert. Angel soon joined you in laying on the bed, him to staring at the ceiling as you pondered and wondered, He was probably zoning out but whatever, but after moments of silence Anthony soon realized this was a heavy topic on your heart so he turned on his side, pulling you to his side; one of his hands ruffling your hair
"worry about that tomorrow will you? You need your beauty sleep; Alastor won't date a slob"
"what won't I do?"
"AAAAHHHHH"
Authors note: Sorry for the ending Im starting to get a headache😭😭
#hazbin hotel imagine#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin x reader#hazbin hotel#alastor x reader#alastor hazbin hotel#angel dust fluff#angel dust#i love my silly lil anons
826 notes
·
View notes