#At 30 I Realized I Had No Gender: Life Lessons From a 50-Year-Old After Two Decades of Self-Discovery

[ljaesch]

Tokyopop Highlights At 30 I Realized I Had No Gender: Life Lessons From a 50-Year-Old After Two Decades of Self Discovery

Publisher Tokyopop offers a thoughtful graphic novel memoir that ponders gender, transgender issues, and the daily obstacles faced by gender minorities and members of the LGBTQIA+ community as it highlights At 30 I Realized I Had No Gender: Life Lessons From A 50-Year-Old After Two Decades of Self-Discovery. The graphic novel is available now in print and digitally across all major comics…

[elierlick]

There's a very cute manga about coming out as nonbinary in the 1990s by a 50-year-old writer Shou Arai, At 30, I Realized I Had No Gender: Life Lessons From a 50-Year-Old After Two Decades of Self-Discovery. You can order it here.

[duckprintspress]

Intersex Awareness Day: 6 Book Recommendations!

October 26th is the annual Intersex Awareness Day! Considering how many millions of people in the world are intersex, it’s depressing how rare it is to find books by intersex people or that feature intersex characters. Our crew of contributors to these recommendations list knew of six we’d recommend. As always, representation may be explicit or implied, so is potentially open to interpretation. Note that some intersex people consider themselves queer and some do not. We opted to include these books under “queer” for the tagging and shelving systems we use, but we do so with the understanding that not all intersex people are queer and that being intersex doesn’t automatically mean a person is queer. The contributors to the list are Nina Waters, Meera S. and an anonymous contributor.

At 30, I Realized I Had No Gender: Life Lessons from a 50-Year-Old After Two Decades of Self-Discovery by Shou Arai

At age 30, Shou Arai came to a realization; they had no gender. Now they were faced with a question they’d never really considered: how to age in a society where everything is so strongly segregated between two genders? This autobiographical manga explores Japanese culture surrounding gender, transgender issues, and the day to day obstacles faced by gender minorities and members of the LGBTQIA+ community with a lighthearted, comedic attitude.

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

“I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day of January 1960; and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Petoskey, Michigan, in August of 1974. . . My birth certificate lists my name as Calliope Helen Stephanides. My most recent driver’s license…records my first name simply as Cal.”

So begins the breathtaking story of Calliope Stephanides and three generations of the Greek-American Stephanides family who travel from a tiny village overlooking Mount Olympus in Asia Minor to Prohibition-era Detroit, witnessing its glory days as the Motor City, and the race riots of 1967, before they move out to the tree-lined streets of suburban Grosse Pointe, Michigan. To understand why Calliope is not like other girls, she has to uncover a guilty family secret and the astonishing genetic history that turns Callie into Cal, one of the most audacious and wondrous narrators in contemporary fiction. Lyrical and thrilling, Middlesex is an exhilarating reinvention of the American epic.

Nabari No Ou by Yuhki Kamatani

Apathetic schoolboy Miharu Rokujou is content to meander through life in the sleepy village of Banten. But his quiet existence is shattered when the Grey Wolves of Iga, a powerful ninja clan, attempt to kidnap him in broad daylight. Only then does Miharu discover that the ultimate power of the hidden ninja realm – a power that can do both great good and great harm – is sealed within his body. As battles erupt among rival ninja clans seeking to control him, Miharu must overcome his apathy and learn the ways of the ninja if he wants any shot at survival.

Ring by Kōji Suzuki

A mysterious videotape warns that the viewer will die in one week unless a certain, unspecified act is performed. Exactly one week after watching the tape, four teenagers die one after another of heart failure.

Asakawa, a hardworking journalist, is intrigued by his niece’s inexplicable death. His investigation leads him from a metropolitan tokyo teeming with modern society’s fears to a rural Japan – a mountain resort, a volcanic island, and a countryside clinic–haunted by the past. His attempt to solve the tape’s mystery before it’s too late – for everyone – assumes an increasingly deadly urgency. Ring is a chillingly told horror story, a masterfully suspenseful mystery, and post-modern trip.

The Day of Revolution by Mikiyo Tsuda

Kei Yoshikawa is a feisty young boy, troubled by problems at home and annoyed at school. One day after a sudden fainting spell, Kei is examined by the doctor and given shocking news – he is actually supposed to be a girl!

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire

Wicked is about a land where animals talk and strive to be treated like first-class citizens, Munchkinlanders seek the comfort of middle-class stability, and the Tin Man becomes a victim of domestic violence. And then there is the little green-skinned girl named Elphaba, who will grow up to become the infamous Wicked Witch of the West – a smart, prickly, and misunderstood creature who challenges all our preconceived notions about the nature of good and evil.

What are your favorite books with intersex representation? Please do tell us, we’d love to read more!

You can view this rec list as a shelf on the Duck Prints Press Goodreads profile! Or shop the three that are in print and available on Bookshop.org by visiting our affiliate shop.

Want to get these rec lists, info on new releases, and more, right to your e-mail inbox? Sign up for our mailing list! Want to be a contributor to these rec lists? Patreon backers who join our Discord and also join the conversation!

[lgbtqmanga]

New Releases June 13, 2023

At 30, I Realized I Had No Gender: Life Lessons From a 50-Year-Old After Two Decades of Self Discovery by Shou Arai

At age 30, Shou Arai came to a realization; they had no gender. Now they were faced with a question they'd never really considered: how to age in a society where everything is so strongly segregated between two genders? This autobiographical manga explores Japanese culture surrounding gender, transgender issues, and the day to day obstacles faced by gender minorities and members of the LGBTQIA+ community with a lighthearted, comedic attitude.

The Dragon's Betrothed vol. 2 by Meguru Hinohara

Troubled writer Chiharu Izunome is betrothed to Rin, the local water dragon god. Despite Rin’s gentle demeanor, when a supernatural intruder threatens his husband-to-be, the angry deity unleashes the full might of his beastly fury, injuring Chiharu in the process! With Rin’s destructive power so clearly laid out, fear displaces the fragile affection growing in Chiharu’s heart. Can he truly learn to love someone monstrous?

Even Though We're Adults vol. 6 by Takako Shimura

It’s finally time: Ayano tells her parents that she has left Wataru and has fallen for someone else. And that someone is a woman. When the news breaks, Wataru finally gives up on trying to make things work, which means the wall between Ayano and Akari’s love has now been knocked down. Meanwhile, Eri struggles with her feelings for a married man. Is there a way out of this labyrinth for anyone?

If My Favorite Pop Idol Made It to the Budokan, I Would Die vol. 1 by Auri Hirao

When it comes to idol group Cham Jam, Eripiyo is the oldest — and perhaps only — fan of Maina Ichii. Despite Eripiyo's enthusiastic support, Maina is the least popular member of the group, but that doesn't deter Eripiyo, even though she spends so much of her money that she only has a single outfit of her own. But her love for Maina doesn't waver, even if she knows she might never be noticed for it!

Last Gender vol. 3 by Rei Taki

Welcome to "BAR California", a place where people with different genders, propensities, and sexual orientations gather to find a certain "something".

A transgender bisexual who has been hurt by the voices of others, a pansexual looking for true love, and a person who identities as both male and female. There are as many sexualities as there are people.

FINAL VOLUME

Old-Fashioned Cupcake by Sagan Sagan

A visit to a pancake shop leads to an unexpected May-December romance that breathes life into the monotonous routine of an older salaryman.

At 39 years old, Nozue lives a routine, if not melancholic, life of sleep and work. Togawa, his younger subordinate, finds it troubling and takes it upon himself to shake up Nozue’s routine. During a lunch outing, the two go to a pancake shop full of exuberant young ladies to “do what girls do,” and it’s just the thing to breathe life into Nozue. The two men start an unlikely friendship - and perhaps something a little sweeter!

Qualia the Purple: The Complete Manga Collection Omnibus collects volumes 1-3 by Hisamitsu Ueo and Sirou Tsunasima

Through Yukari’s uncanny purple eyes, all people look just like robots. Her talent is both a blessing and a curse–she’s an asset to the police, with her “skill” allowing her to evaluate humans at a glance, but her strange sight has cost her the friendship of her peers. Luckily, she does have one friend in her corner: Hatou “Gaku” Manabu, a girl at school who cares deeply for Yukari. But when Yukari is recruited to join a secret organization, the real trouble begins. Gaku is thrust into a realm of mystery, quantum experimentation, and alternate universes, with only her wits–and her love for Yukari–to guide her along the way.

The Summer You Were There vol. 3 by Yuama

At Kaori’s gentle urging, Shizuku reaches out to Ruri, the girl she bullied back in elementary school. All Shizuku wants is to apologize, but it soon becomes clear that even that won’t be so easy. Things take a dramatic turn when Kaori faints, and Shizuku learns that Kaori’s been keeping a big secret. Now, with everything out in the open, will things between the two girls ever be the same again?

Why I Adopted My Husband: The True Story of a gay couple seeking legal recognition in Japan by Yuta Yagi

As a gay couple living in Japan (where gay marriage is not yet legal), Yuta and Kyota have found a unique loophole in order for the government to recognize their union: Kyota adopted Yuta.

This nonfiction manga depicts how the two men met and fell in love, their life together for the last twenty years, their struggle to communicate their relationship to their families, their anxieties about the future, and their determination to live happily and carefree as any other married couple, while they strive for independence and equal rights in a changing cultural landscape.

X-Gender vol. 2 by Asuka Miyazaki

Covid-19 has hit Japan, and Asuka is struggling. Not only has the serialization of X-Gender been delayed due to the virus, the closure of Poker Face and other bars means they’ve lost access to their community. Can they find a way to stave off the loneliness, while also dealing with their fear of getting sick?

[carmintros]

@ariwalters     /      ❛   ｡   ✩   ﾟ my eyes are probably playing tricks on me again, but is that really  awsten knight? oh, wait, it’s just  adrian “ari” lance walters. yes, that  twenty-four  year old  drummer, who i am pretty sure is a  visitor. according to the talk of the town, he is incredibly  flighty & unpredictable, yet undeniably  outgoing & adventurous. that is precisely why  a playground at dawn, a carnival ride that just keeps spinning, chasing waves on a beach, laughing until you cry & jackson pollock paintings  remind me of them so much, but then again you know what they say about  leos, we’ll see how that one turns out !   penned by kit  /  mst & they / them

car crash tw, ptsd tw, alcoholism tw

Ari Walters

Age: 24

Gender: Non-binary, he/him

[Between the Bars] - “Haha, not totally sure why this one comes to mind but like everyone says it’s like me with alcohol and stuff but I don’t really see it, I think I’m fine.”

D.O.B: August 15, 1995

Why the name Ari?

“Oh! I was named after my dad ‘cept he was always called Adrian so they called me Ari so no one got confused or anything!! It always worked really good too!”

Ethnicity: white

Relationship Status: In multiple relationships “I fall a little in love with everyone, I think, because everyone is beautiful and wonderful. I’m kind of the classic definition of poly, lol. People underestimate how much communication that takes though!”

Sexual Orientation: pan “Like I said, I fall in love with everyone! I can’t help it, haven’t you ever watched someone go about their life and you can just tell if they’re gentle or rough, if they need love or if they’re loved, et cetera? I love it and I love them.”

Appearance:

Height: 5’7

Ari resembles a puppy with ADHD. He is constantly moving, constantly engaged with the world and constantly interacting with everyone around him. He has to be active. If he sits still he might fall asleep and he still gets nightmares of the wreck.

His signature ‘thing’ has been his dyed hair for years. He doesn’t think he would recognize himself without it at this point. He thought about dying it back to brown for April Fools day one year but realized it’s been so long since seeing his real hair that he didn’t remember what color to get to match his roots.

Ari has an almost compulsive seeming need to be the most colorful person in any space he’s in. He wants to stand out and he does so by being a walking color wheel. Strangely, he manages to make his outfits cohesive.

You can’t get too close to Ari without noticing how tired he always looks. His eyes are always a little swollen and bloodshot and his skin has the uncomfortable thin appearance of someone much older or much sicker than him. If he’s asked about it he jokes that he’s just ugly (though most people would agree he is anything but ugly).

History:

Ari can split his life into a perfect before and after the wreck.

Before. Ari had a perfectly wonderful childhood. He was loved and taken care of in his historical Boston home. His dad taught Marine Biology at Harvard, his mom was the perfect socialite and Ari and his sisters were happy

His days consisted of school and drawing and going to the beach with his dad to learn about the animals. If Ari was to assign an emotion to that period of his life it would be love. If he had to assign a color it would be pink.

His life before was like something from a 50s sitcom. It was perfect. He knows rationally that he’s seeing through rosy lenses. He thinks he remembers his dad having an affair. He knows his sister and he argued a lot and he was such a mischievous child it kept him in trouble a lot of the time. He knows this. But it feels different. It feels idyllic compared to after.

His entire world shattered when he was 13. His family shouldn’t have even been out. If only he hadn’t argued with his sister. If only he had just set the table then maybe his dad wouldn’t have suggested eating out. Maybe if his mom and little sister had been home instead of in California they could have told his dad no, it wasn’t their day for eating out and they would all be fine eating at the house. Maybe if his sister hadn’t forgotten her phone and made them turn back so she could retrieve it because she was so scared of missing a text from her boyfriend.

Maybe….

Maybe they wouldn’t have been crossing the intersection when the other driver plowed through it. Maybe they wouldn’t have spun out and hit another car. Maybe his dad and his sister and the little boy from the other car and the driver who caused it all would still be alive. Maybe…

After. Ari doesn’t remember the crash itself. He doesn’t remember seeing his father’s body crushed against the interior of their car even though he’s since been told he was trying to pull him out. He doesn’t remember his sister’s glassy, dead stare though he was told he screamed at her to wake up. He doesn’t remember the ambulance ride but he’s told he fought the paramedics to try to get to his family.

He doesn’t remember getting to the hospital and being admitted.

He only starts remembering sitting in that big hospital room alone for what felt like hours (he knows now that it was only a few minutes at a time) while nurses bustled past the door outside trying to focus on the lives that were at risk after the crash. Even still, the evening comes in flashes. A teary eyed woman with a heavy accent telling him his mom would be there soon and rubbing his back. A doctor, young and frazzled, bursting into his room to tell the cops to leave and stop asking him about it. The smell of oil and burning metal seared so strongly into his skin it made his head hurt.

He remembers the funeral. Closed casket, both buried at the same time. He remembers packing up the house and selling it and moving to New York. He doesn’t think he felt real during that time. He kept waiting to wake up and find out it was just a terrible dream. Part of him still hopes he wakes up.

–

His mom didn’t try to neglect his mental health when they moved. Despite having help from family she still had to take on two jobs, she had two children to raise alone and she had just lost her husband and little girl. It was hard to be everything Ari needed her to be too.

She did her best. He was sent to a mental health clinic and given regular therapy sessions for a while where he was diagnosed with PTSD and a trauma based phobia regarding riding in cars.

She put him in music lessons to give him an outlet. She enrolled him in an arts high school so he could find similarly minded creative young people and hopefully make friends in their new city.

It didn’t really work. You can’t throw a shattered kid back into society and expect them not to drown. And Ari drowned.

When he was almost 15 he tasted alcohol for the first time at a sleepover. The idea of it had fascinated him since the wreck. How could one liquid be so influential that it would lead you to kill other people? What did it feel like to slip into a haze that strong.

His first sip was revolting. It burned on the way down and he was convinced he could still feel it burning his stomach. He almost put the bottle up and gave up on learning its allure. Something about it still called to be explored and who was Ari to say no?

He snuck the bottle into his bag and drank a little more the next day after school. Just enough to feel warm again and for his brain to quiet and center just a little bit more.

The alcohol made everything better. He felt more human again when he was tipsy. It didn’t take long for Ari to begin to crave it just to function. He started stealing it from his mom’s cabinet and then from the sweet old lady who paid him to take her groceries upstairs. When he was caught stealing from them he started trying to steal it from stores.

He was caught right away, of course, but not by an employee. Instead he was caught by a tall, average looking man in his early 30s. The man, who Ari soon learned was named Sean, offered to buy the alcohol for Ari and invited Ari over to drink with his girlfriend Eliana. Ari agreed immediately.

That night he lost his virginity to the pair. The two adults offered to keep Ari’s alcohol supply always filled so long as he continued to sleep with them. Ari instantly agreed.

—-

After he started drinking he somehow managed to pull his grades up. He felt real when he was drunk. He felt functional. He could do his coursework and practice the drums and paint and even explore New York. He quickly fell in love with the city and learned how to navigate his borough on his skateboard. He learned what buildings he could sneak into and hookup with classmates in without being caught, all the best places for graffiti and where the coolest homeless people hung out.

As Ari progressed through his teenage years his ‘adventures’ got crazier. He broke into the zoo ones and barely escaped getting caught. He hitchhiked out of the city and spent a weekend far upstate before calling his mom from a payphone and getting her to pick him up. He smuggled paint into his homeroom and painted an abstract mural on the teacher’s desk.

Not everything was illegal. He once snuck into an early morning wholesale flower market and convinced a florist to buy him enough white roses to leave one on every grave in The Cathedral Basilica of St. James cemetery and even convinced some of his friends to help him distribute them. He raised money once and bought everyone at his school pizza for lunch so “the lunch people get a day off.”

When he was asked to play drums for a new band that was forming he had to say yes. It was just a chance at another adventure.

—-

He never expected them to get as famous as they did. He figured they would disband rapidly and he could go to college for marine biology. Like his dad. Obviously, that didn’t happen.

Miraculously for all of Ari’s adventures and alcoholism he didn’t have any major scandals during the bands active time. He left that for Jae.

Instead he tried to fly under the radar. He didn’t want anyone picking up on his issues. He maintained his alcoholism, adventured in the cities they toured through and focused on art when they weren’t making music.

—

Slowly he began to tire of not remembering as much of his life as he wanted to. People Ari had no memory of would come up to him as though they knew him. He got an STI without even knowing who it was from. He woke up in places he had never seen before. He destroyed things in his house and drove people away.

The catalyst came just before the band was put on hiatus and he was approached by an ex. Apparently during a drunken escapade he hadn’t used protection and had gotten the girl pregnant a few years ago. She’d had the baby and suddenly he was being asked if he wanted to be a father. He didn’t, of course, but he also didn’t want this to ever happen again.

Ari used the move to California as a chance to change everything. He swore he was going sober and wouldn’t return to the lifestyle he’d had before.

—

Now, freshly sober in California, he’s trying to figure out how to balance his new life. He’s still adventuring but it looks different without drinking. He isn’t sure if he likes it or not.

Personality -

“Ari is a rollercoaster. It could get exhausting except you don’t see him that often since he’s dating half the town at any given time. But he’s a blast anyway, especially when he’s sober enough to know up from down. You will have the most wild dates with him but you’ll have the time of your life. He rented a barn once and hired a band so we could have a ‘good old fashioned barn dance’ because he’d just seen one in a movie. It was insane. Best date of my life. That’s why it’s such a shame that he drinks so much. When he’s sober or only tipsy he’s amazing but the more drunk he gets the more the shine wears away. We actually broke up because he punched a hole through a mirror once and cried that he hated how he looked. I just… couldn’t do that. I hate it but I couldn’t.” Jessica B, ex-girlfriend.

Ari is the pinnacle of a yes-man. He agrees to almost everything so long as no one is hurt and he seems very morally grey. So long as no one gets hurt he’s down to try anything. He is high energy and always seems super cheerful. Ari is the kind of person who draws others to him just by how cheery and upbeat he is.

Ari is a romantic at heart. He says he falls in love with everyone and it honestly feels true. He sees something beautiful in everyone he meets and so he always dates multiple people at a time. It helps that he needs company all the time or the negative emotions he’s pushed away since he was a teenager begin to come creeping up.

He can never let that creep up. When it does it overwhelms him and he feels as scared and as lost as he did the entire year following the crash. He doesn’t talk about those emotions and he definitely doesn’t acknowledge that anything is wrong even when it’s exhausting to keep the smile. He doesn’t want to validate them and make them real. Ari will do anything to keep himself from ever feeling that sad and broken again.

It’s part of why he’s such an adrenaline junkie. His thrill seeking is one of the things he’s most known for in his fame. He has an adventure list a mile wide with everything from “Show up at an airport and take the next flight wherever it goes” to “scattering change along the city streets for people to find.”

Hobbies:

Art. Ari loves abstractivism and unconventional art. One of his projects that he was working on before coming to Carmel was saving every bottle from every drink he had over the course of a year so he could display it as a piece. He wasn’t sure about the title for it yet.

Exploring

Going on dates and adventures

He really wants to get a normal job because he thinks it would be hilarious to, say, work at a deli or diner because he’s technically a rock star.

Health:

Ari has PTSD. He doesn’t acknowledge it but it definitely impacts his ability to exist normally. He’s terrified of cars (he still doesn’t drive but he claims it’s because he would rather just skateboard everywhere) and he acts more recklessly to try to distract from it.

Physically he’s actually pretty healthy (aside from his chronic exhaustion). He eats well and works out, now that he’s quit drinking (besides a few relapses here and there) he is largely a super healthy individual.

wanted connections

Partners!!!! Ari is pan and poly so he is down for however many partners he has at any given time. He loves going on dates and hooking up. The more the merrier as far as he’s concerned, too!

Baby-mama. Ari found out he got someone pregnant and it was the largest catalyst for sobriety. They have a rocky relationship regarding the child because Ari really doesn’t feel ready to be a dad but I’m open to if they’re civil or uncivil outside of that.

Confidant. Everyone needs someone they can trust. Even Ari, who’s close relationships never seem to get past sleeping together and casual dating. This can be a friend, a friend of a friend or even someone he’s sleeping with.

[fckeverything-v]

 1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Lick

 2. What is home to you? Alabama:/

 3. What was the last lie you told? I couldnt tell you

 4. Does everyone deserve the truth? Maybe not?

 6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Walk away, move states..

 7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) Being alone & fuck irdk

 8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Mhm 4 years ago.

 9. How many all nighters have you pulled? A lotttt haha

 10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? Woah people express that? no but humans would probably bone all the time.

 11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? Only 2 (technically 3) serious relationships. Many flings.

 12. What is your paradise? I dont have one :(

 13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Music

 14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? Only 1... maybe 2 soon. (not you hehe.)

 15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? Finding friendships through social media or other platforms. And mhm probably that im a lonely pos

 16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they're pretty. Not really.

 17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Chew loud.

 18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? Eh, yeah. And I cant think of any pros.

 19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? Piano, saxophone

 20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No. I stare at it until i hate it.

 21. List 3 things you like about yourself?

 22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? To not give up. As simple as that sounds.

 23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? No. Dont you need to be mentally stable- i would hope so..

 24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? Play games for hours.

 25. When was the last time you felt awkward? Ha. Literally 5 minutes ago.

 26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? Introverted x100000

 27. What constitutes a good friend? Someone who doesnt give up on you amd atleast tries to understand.

 28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? One best friend.

 29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? 'Hey hows your day going'

 30. What is your dream job? Fuck, is this still a question.. to be a homicide detective in the biggest city i can think of.

 31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? Lazy and smart DUH

 32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe?

 33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? What it feels like to GET OFF. DUH.

 34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? Um my own dreams i guess.

 35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. Im not wasting my time describing that.

 36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? Live it up. I think id feel happy honestly.

 37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Mh. Sell it, their problem now and im rich.

 38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? Current events.

 39. Name the last book you read. Dammed- chuck palahniuk

 40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? No change

 41. When was the last time you made the first move? Um never..

 42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? Trash

 43. What was the last tv show youve watched? Rick and Morty.

 44. Do you like and appreciate your life? I appreciate what i am trying to do.

 45. Do you like and appreciate yourself?

 46. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

 47. What are you scared of? Heights.

 48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? Um live my life everyday probably.

 49. What are some of your hobbies? .... literally WORSE question. I smoke cigs. Is that a hobby?

 50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make?

 51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? I feel like i am both. I try to be there for them. But also, im so hard to get so i feel like i might come off the wrong way a lot.

 52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? Honestly; nope.

 53. What have you learned the hard way? Not to care what people think. After wasting my whole life. Im starting to realize it doesnt matter.

 54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Follow your heart

 56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Both but probably logical.

 57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done?

 58. What is your ideal meal? Fuckk probably so good ass chicken with some gooooood asssssss mac and cheese. As lame as that sounds hahaha.

 59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? 1. Go on date with me

 60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? Yeah and dogs are cute but i love elephants.

 61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Christmas.

 62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Of courseeeee (;

 63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Video games.

 64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? Woah you read my mind of sum? Shooter games.

 65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? Bullshit

 66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? No not really and like 5pm nowadays.

 67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? No

 68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? City but i love the countryside

 69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? Mountains

 70. What are the best things about winter? Cold. Even though i hate it. Snow. Even if i dont see it. Trees dying.

 71. What scares you most about the future? Literally everything.

 72. What makes you feel old? Doing nothing.

 73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? Idk like 5.

 74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? Be a better me.

 75. What is your life story in 6 words?

 76. Describe yourself in one word. Awkward.

 77. What bad habits do you do? Smoking

 78. What genre of music do you listen to? everything

 79. Most prominent childhood memory? I would say, but its embarrassing that that's the memory.

 80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? My life would be so different. Maybe i would have someone to talk to.

 81. Spirit animal?

 82. Do you believe in horoscopes? Yes

 83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given?

 84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. 1. Fox 2. Fox 3. Fox

 85. Favorite memory of your family. :/

 86. What do you look for in a relationship? Happiness

 87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? No. I dont need it. But now that i think about it i have one role model.

 88. What is your opinion on social media? Dumb

 89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimest

 90. List some things that you think are overpriced? Food

 91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? ..

 92. What superpower would ruin the world? Any of them

 93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? Exactly what im doing now. Nothing. Giving up. Dropping out

 94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? Dont trust yourself when you know you arent okay. Fight club

 95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Europe

 96. How do you approach people? I dont but i guess a smile.

 97. What is your opinion on first impressions? I think theyre okay. Only if you dont judge.

 98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? Lol play with imaginary friends

 99. What languages can you speak? English

 100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? Lol hopefully ill be dead bc that shit sounds terrible

 101. What do you do on your lazy days? Play games.

 102. What ended your last relationship? I had enough.

 103. Favorite food? Soul food

 104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? Fuck im not saying.

 105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? Last night

 106. What was the last friendship you broke? My friend Ashley:(

 107. Do you have any pet peeves? Close minded people

 108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? Zack

 109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? Last night

 110. What part of your personality do you want to change? I dont have one.

 111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? My sister Grace.

 112. What is your biggest motivation? My siblings. Faith & Grace.

 113. What did you want to be when you were little? Honestly i never knew.

 114. What are some things that you are good at? Smokin weed

 115. What is one thing you want to be good at? Social skills

 116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? My mind

 117. How important is privacy to you? Eh pretty significant i guess.

 118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? Be friends with everybody.

 119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? Um.. i told my 2nd grade teacher my family died in a car crash.

 120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I dont go to parties haaha

 121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? have friends and socialize too much like woah calm down you know youre still alone.. right. Like its only you. Hahah jk. But irdk.

 122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? a guy invited me over and ive never done anything sexual before so i pretended like i knew and i hurt his dick like bad. (We didnt have sex)

 123. What is your morning routine? Wake up, wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, and then boom feel sad

 124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering?

 125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help

 126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" Being sort of isolated like not opening up. Which is okay bc if they want you they'll wait.

 127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Cons, you may hurt feelings. Pro, you know yourself and what you want to say congratulations

 128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? Being fake happy.

 129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? Friendzoner

 130. What do you admire most about your friends? How beautiful he is. Inside & out.

 131. What do you admire most about your family? They're still here.

 132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" You may forget where you are trying to go. Or who you are.

 133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? Listening.

 134. When is it time to end a friendship? Idk

 135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? Lol too many.

 136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? Doesnt matter.

 137. What are your favorite baby names? Ive always liked Riley for a girl name and idk havent thought Bout a boys name.

 138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Maybe a week or so ago. Or a few days ago.

 139. What instantly ruins a conversation? Lack of excitement

 140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. Affection. And idk

 143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? God every day.

 147. What do you like about the 21st century? ???

 141. Biggest disappointment. Myself

 142. Do you have any self-restraint? A little.

 144. Prized possession(s)? little things

 145. What is your opinion on second chances? They might seem okay but idk.... depends i guess

 146. Text or call? Both, depends on whom im texting or callin

 148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? Life is hard and stupid but choices you make will stay with you forever so what are you gonna do, follow your heart or head? (head is better hope)

 149. How organized are you? Eh not really anymore.

 150. Favorite mode of transportation. My car

[chloe-gayzer]

all of them for mitali (and adora, if you're feeling ambitious owo)

okay this was a lot but i am NOT weak and answered them all for BOTH

Mitali:

1. Age, Birthday, Star Sign

She’s almost 33, born April 20th, 2005. She’s a Taurus.

2. Gender Identity

Cis woman!

3. Orientation and Relationship status (single, taken (by who?), crush (on who?))

Lesbian, eventually taken by another OC, Savannah Wright

4. Race and Ethnicity

Mixed; Scottish and Indian.

5. Height and Body type

5’7, fit af

6. Headcanon VA

Haven’t terribly considered anyone but…… Claudia Black, with like, a scottish accent, would be Good

7. Occupation

Captain of Security

8. Weapon of Choice(?)

Bow and shotgun, for more “distance”. But fuck she loves her knifes.

9. Hometown and current residence

Bo’ness, Scotland. Prosperity.

10. Do they have any markings, piercings or scars?

Probably has her fair share of scars (newest one being from that gd crocodile). No piercings to speak of. A tattoo on her back that’s a dahlia and a transvaal daisy. They were each of her mother’s favourites.

11. Do they have any notable features, like horns, tails, or so on?

Not really, ha. Maybe her hair? It’s really long.

12. Own any pets?

A dog and a pig! She loves both Timber and Horatio.

13. Have any kids?

She wants to.

14. Can they cook? Can they bake?

She can cook pretty well but she usually doesn’t have the time. Baking, she hasn’t really been able to try. Not in a long time, at least.

15. Can they sing? Can they dance?

She can sing! Pretty well too! One of her moms was heavy into music and taught her a couple instruments. During their time in the bunker, she was taught a whole lot of songs on guitar. Might know a few dances.

16. Can they drive?

Yup! Best driver in the business ha

17 Can they fight?

That’s her main talent ngl

18. Have any special keepsakes?

She’s got her mother’s wedding rings tucked away. She never lets them away from her.

19. Hobbies

Nothing actually firm. She likes to read and there are times she likes to play music, but it can be sort of bittersweet for her. Hunting maybe, but that’s another survival thing.

20. Clothing/Aesthetic

She likes button-ups and to layer a bit. Enjoys soft blues and deep reds.

21. Fave food(s) and drink(s)

She misses salt and vinegar chips so much. Pretty partial to cider-- not the alcoholic kind-- but it’s harder to get.

22. Fave Color

Purple

23. Fave Genre

Romance lol

24. Fave Season

Fall!

25. City or Country?

Country

26. Guilty Pleasure

Tbh??? Finding someone to fight just to get some anger out.

27. What’s their family like? Who’s in it? What’s their relationship with them?

She had two mothers until she was around 16. After they passed, family wise she was alone for a very long time. Now, the Ryes treat her as family and, at some point, Savannah would be her wife. She’s close with Kim and she’d never let anything happen to Carmina. She’s fast friends with Nick when they get him back-- she’s always glad to see a good man who has no issue being soft or saying “i love you”

28. Are they literate? Did they go to school? How long? What level?

She went to school up until shortly before the bombs fell, and her mothers did their best to teach what they could in the bunker.

29. What was childhood like?

The first 12 or so years were in Scotland. She was pretty healthy and well balanced. She enjoyed music, knew some instruments and got voice lessons. She was pretty athletic too, planning to do something military-centric when she was old enough. She and her mothers moved to the west coast of the states when she was twelve. It was maybe a year before the bombs fell.

30. What was adolescence like?

The first couple years were in the “bunker”, which was barely more than a multi-roomed basement shared between her and her mothers-- their neighbor, who’d offered them the shelter, didn’t make it in. He hadn’t been home when the bombs fell. The food ran out maybe two years in and she got to spend a year with her parents above ground before they were killed. The rest of her adolescence was spent mostly alone, living in a small shelter in the woods. She rarely had contact with people, only ever to trade. Once or twice she’d lead people out of the woods. It wasn’t until she was nineteen or so that she joined Rush.

31. What’s their current main conflict?

Loooooooooooots of self-hatred. Sure, there’s the whole highwaymen deal, but her hatred of herself makes it hard for her to make friends because she honestly doesn’t believe she deserves to have them.

32. What steps have they taken to overcome this conflict?

She doesn’t, really, until after that whole deal with Joseph and the apple and the bear. She of the mind it was just a drug trip, but it did make her think about who she is. Made her afraid she really had become something monstrous. After a breakdown and some help from Savannah, she actively tries to be a better, warmer person.

33. How have they changed over time?

Her trying to change helps her a lot. She goes from being pretty quiet, pretty grumpy, and antisocial, to being a happier, more open, but still pretty quiet woman. She teaches Carmina some songs on the guitar and plays more often for the people in Prosperity.

34. What’s their room look like right now?

I mean idk how the rooming situation is in Prosperity, but if she’s able to have a room that’s more private, she probably shares it with Savannah, after a point. Might have some plants and her guitar leaning in the corner. If it’s a shared room situation, she probably sticks to the bare minimum as to not take up too much space. Maybe a trunk under the bed with her clothes and a couple trinkets.

35. What are they like as a friend?

Literally if anything hurts you she will hunt it down. If she considers you a friend, she’ll make sure you know it.

36. What are they like as a partner?

Romantic partner, I’m assuming, she’s loving and protective, but often restrained. She doesn’t like to overstep boundaries.

37. Do they have any phobias?

Water. She can swim but fuck does she hate the feeling of something about to get her. Selene’s quest did not help that.

38. Did/do they go anywhere special for vacations?

Her parents took her to Disney once, but otherwise no.

39. Your character walks into a cafe. What do they order?

Raspberry hot chocolate.

40. What time do they go to bed, usually?

Whenever she’s done with the work for the day and has the chance to crash.

41. What’s their morning routine like?

Wake up → unbraid and brush hair → get dressed → find out what needs to be done for the day. Food if she remembers.

42. What’s the dumbest thing your character’s done?

Go after Selene’s weed bag and get attacked by a crocodile, what the fuck, we can find you more weed, we can’t casually find Mitali a new arm.

43. What pokemon would your character be?

OOOOOOhhhhhh this is my kind question, I need to go look at pokemon lists. Oh fuck I’m back, she’s a midnight form lycanroc for SURE. Looks sorta scary, is cuddly, has the ability to maim.

44. What’s their pokemon team? Try to pick all 6.

I love these questions holy crap. Midnight form lycanroc because DUH. Houndoom. Pignite. Gengar. Yamask. Zangoose.

45. Theme song (and a playlist if you’ve got it!)

Wolf by First Aid Kit.It’s not a whole playlist but also: She Said Maybe by Steam Powered Giraffe. Lion’s Roar, by First Aid Kit. Ghost by Mystery Skulls. Thistles by Mumford and Sons. For Those Below, also Mumford and Sons.

46. If this character was in a musical, what would their motif be (what kind of instruments do you hear, what’s the tempo, ect).

Oh this is pretty hard.... Violin-centric, maybe. And the tempo would be different depending on which point of her life. A lively one for early life, a mournful one for like…. 16-32. Happier again after that.

47. What was this character’s biggest turning point in their life, something that changed them almost completely?

Her mothers dying for sure! She went from being a hopeful young woman to almost spiteful. Killing the men who killed her parents was what sealed the deal.

48. What was their lowest point? What was their highest point?

Yup parent death is still gonna be lowest point. It was sudden and painful and no one involved deserved it. Highest point is when she finally breaks free of that depression and realizes she doesn’t have to hate herself anymore.

49. What are some themes tied to your character’s story?

Forgiveness, redemption, hope.

50. What are some motifs associated with your character?

Wild animals (mostly wolves), death and rebirth.

51. What were some inspirations for your character (people, movies, games)?

Big surprise but….. Mitali was definitely inspired in equal parts by Chloe Frazer and Nadine Ross (so Lost Legacy, in a nutshell). Also some great wolf related aesthetic pictures.

52. How are you and your character the same? How are you different?

Well this is an unexpectedly deep question that I’m going to avoid due to my own self-worth lol

53. Expectations vs Reality: what did you expect and what did you get with this character?

I expected to have her be very heavily military, but I ended up with a woman who only really wants to be a wife and just love the woman she marries with all of her heart and she wants to raise a kid and just have a good and happy family.

54. What does your character want, and what do they need?

She doesn’t know what she wants but she needs love. Any kind. Platonic, romantic, whichever.

55. What’s your character’s core trait? What’s their best trait? What’s their worst trait? What happens when these all interact with each other?

Protective to a fault. It can be both their best and worst trait, but their real worst trait is her self-hate. The two things interacting usually lead her to cutting herself off from friends so they’re “better off without her”.

56. What’s your overall goal with this character? Will they get a happy ending or will they succumb to their faults?

FUCK I want her to have a happy ending so badly. I’ll have to see how New Dawn ends first, but end goal is her marrying Savannah and eventually having a kid or two. Maybe twins???

Adora!!!

1. Age, Birthday, Star Sign

23, October 22nd 1994, Libra

2. Gender Identity

Cis woman

3. Orientation and Relationship status (single, taken (by who?), crush (on who?))

Lesbian and taken by Jess as soon as she possibly can be

4. Race and Ethnicity

Mixed, Brazilian and South African

5. Height and Body type

Lil bit on the shorter end maybe 5’4, and she's got a swimmer bod for SURE

6. Headcanon VA

Don't have one yet

7. Occupation

Deputy to Sheriff Whitehorse

8. Answered previously!

9. Hometown and current residence

Cascade Valley, Hope County

10. Previously answered!

11. Do they have any notable features, like horns, tails, or so on?

Her hair is big and curly, lovely afro. Other than that, maybe her newly given WRATH scar

12. Own any pets?

She left her pet cat with her dads when she moved, but now she's got a cougar, a dog, and a bear. Peaches is her favourite.

13. Have any kids?

in the future, she has a daughter named Masha!

14. Can they cook? Can they bake?

She's not the best cook, but she can bake pretty well.

15. Can they sing? Can they dance?

She's not a great singer but she dances well!

16. Can they drive?

Yup!

17. Can they fight?

She's really scrappy, and a pretty big threat tbh

18. Have any special keepsakes?

Her dads gave her a star of david necklace before she left. she never takes it off.

19. Hobbies

She loves to fish!

20. Previously answered!

21. Fave food(s) and drink(s)

She's 100% here for pumpkin pie and loves pink lemonade

22. Fave Color

Gold!

23. Fave Genre

Rom coms

24. Fave Season

Fall!

25. City or Country?

Depends on the day, leans towards country.

26. Guilty Pleasure

Taking a break to fish when she should be doing something else. Also taking her hearing aids out when she doesn't want to listen to someone.

27. What’s their family like? Who’s in it? What’s their relationship with them?

She's got two dads! They're an older couple who are very loving. One is deaf. Recently I gave her a brother named Adam! He’s a cool dude. Bi and lovable.

28. Are they literate? Did they go to school? How long? What level?

She finished school up to get her degree! Finished at 22

29. Previously answered!

30. What was adolescence like?

She went through a lot of emotional issues during her teens, but her dads got her in therapy and were supportive and loving. A lot of who she is today comes from the love she got then.

31. What’s their current main conflict?

Joseph fucking Seed decided to mess around in lives he should've left alone and now she's gotta clean up after him and try to protect her new friends.

32. What steps have they taken to overcome this conflict?

In the words of the lego movie: “shoot shoot shoot bullet bullet gun”

33. How have they changed over time?

Probably the biggest change was early teens to late. She was angry and spiteful and pretty depressed.

34. What’s their room look like right now?

Her room at home is covered in posters. But her room during 5 is… a bunker she found and claimed. She keeps it stocked, managed to put up a lesbian flag, and brought in the comfiest pillows and blankets she could.

35. Previously answered!

36. What are they like as a partner?

Over affectionate to the max, both with romantic partners and her work partner Hudson. A bit protective. Jealous when it comes to romantic partners.

37. Do they have any phobias?

Most boil down to the death of loved ones

38. Did/do they go anywhere special for vacations?

She used to get to pick a vacation spot once a summer when she grew up. Had to be reasonable, but she got to go to some great campgrounds, a couple good concerts, and Mammoth caves

39. Your character walks into a cafe. What do they order?

A white tea and cookies

40. What time do they go to bed, usually?

Depends on the day.

41. What’s their morning routine like?

Wake up → try to sleep longer → eventually be convinced out of bed (either by herself or by Jess) → try to manage her hair if she didn't braid it → give up on that and wash face → get dressed → eat → start day

42. What’s the dumbest thing your character’s done?

“I won't get hurt jumping from that height”

43. What pokemon would your character be?

Whisicott! But shiny

44. What’s their pokemon team? Try to pick all 6.

I seriously love these questions. Whimsicott! Of course! And a sylveon. Gardevoir. Shinx. Rapidash. And Cinccino!! She’s fairy-centric.

45. Theme song (and a playlist if you’ve got it!)

Dance Apocolyptic by Janelle Monae.

46. If this character was in a musical, what would their motif be (what kind of instruments do you hear, what’s the tempo, ect).

Hmmm… Piano. Something upbeat, most of the time.

47. What was this character’s biggest turning point in their life, something that changed them almost completely?

Therapy in her early teens. It helped her cope with the fact she suffered under her birth parents and realize she’s worth so much more than they tries to make her feel

48. What was their lowest point? What was their highest point?

It’s still gonna be centered in her abuse, but it could also be the grudge she holds on the Seed family (minus Faith). Highest point is probably something to do with Jess.

49. What are some themes tied to your character’s story?

Healing, unconditional love, leadership.

50. What are some motifs associated with your character?

Water, guilt, death, freedom

51. What were some inspirations for your character (people, movies, games)?

Adora is named after She-ra! Her brother too. Physically, I’m not sure. Mmmmaybe a little Nadine Ross, but even then, their hair is really the main similarity, and even then Adora’s is more afro than Nadine’s

52. How are you and your character the same? How are you different?

We’re about the same age? We both love Jess Black. That might be where the similarities end.

53. Expectations vs Reality: what did you expect and what did you get with this character?

I expected to have a gal who was nursing a crush on her partner in the force but instead i have a gal who’s a hundred percent in love with an archer she found locked in a cage by religious zealots.

54. What does your character want, and what do they need?

She wants some goddamn rest and the ability to go on a proper date with her girlfriend. She wants to see her dads again. She wants to be certain she won’t wake up and find herself kidnapped again.

55. What’s your character’s core trait? What’s their best trait? What’s their worst trait? What happens when these all interact with each other?

Is “sunshine” a trait? She’s a happy sort of person and likes to show it. Smiles a whole lot. Best trait is her willingness to trust. Worst trait… she can hold a grudge. For a LONG time. Holding a grudge can keep her from mending bridges, so it doesn’t act terribly well with happy & trusting. And when it does, she’s happy to hold a grudge lol.

56. What’s your overall goal with this character? Will they get a happy ending or will they succumb to their faults?

My goal is her to eventually have a happy life. She gets her “happy ending” in the shape of being with Jess until the day she dies, and even taking in a little girl to raise. She passes away in her sleep a long way down the line.

[dorothydelgadillo]

8 Dudes, 2 Girls, & a Tech Company: Lessons on How to Create an Equal Work Environment

The old school, “boys club” mentality remains firmly implanted in our current corporate environment, but the era of June Cleaver and Carol Brady is long over, friends

Research consistently shows that businesses managed by women are more profitable, innovative, and respected. In fact, over the last 15 years, women-owned firms have grown 1.5 times faster than other small businesses.

In one survey of nearly 22,000 firms across 91 countries, the Peterson Institute for International Economics even found that having women at the C-Suite increased net margins significantly.

"A profitable firm at which 30 percent of leaders are women could expect to add more than 1 percentage point to its net margin compared with an otherwise similar firm with no female leaders," the report explained.

"By way of comparison, the typical profitable firm in our sample had a net profit margin of 6.4 percent, so a 1 percentage point increase represents a 15 percent boost to profitability."

Today, more businesses are realizing the value of women in leadership roles, but still, just 5.2% of CEO positions at S&P 500 companies are filled by them.

Despite all of the clear benefits, why do women face such an uphill battle when it comes to climbing the corporate ladder?

It’s time to foster an environment and culture that encourages women at every point of their career to have the ambition to obliterate the glass ceiling and rise to whatever executive- and C-suite-level position she may want to have.

However, as my employer, Lucky Orange, has seen first hand, sometimes it’s not as easy as it sounds.

The Glass Ceiling By The Numbers

Women in the workplace are a force to be reckoned with.

We women are nearly 75 million strong in the U.S. alone, making up roughly 47% of the U.S. workforce. Looking at individual fields, 55% of marketers are women.

They are made up of...

… Millennials who graduated with two degrees and bring fresh, creative solutions to the boardroom table but still are mistaken for interns by older colleagues despite being almost 30 years old.

... working mothers who get two kids out the door every morning on time (-ish) for school with lunches packed and signed permission slips without being late to the morning marketing meeting.

… new mothers who can’t afford to take off more than a few weeks for maternity leave and answer work emails while pumping in the bathroom or closet.

... seasoned professionals who listen to a whole lot of BS from fellow colleagues who speak over her, land promotions she should have received, and belittle her own experiences to boost their own egos.

With so many women rocking the workplace in 2018, why are companies still stuck in the ‘50s when it comes to empowering these women?

It’s a disgusting reality that nearly half of all women in the workplace will encounter discrimination in one way or another at least once in their lives.

They’ll be passed over for promotions, belittled and interrupted during meetings, assigned menial projects while “important” projects are assigned to male coworkers, and be called “honey” or “sweetie” on a daily basis (to name a few).  

If nothing changes in the workforce, LinkedIn anticipates women would only have the same earning and leadership potential as men as soon as the year 2234.

I don’t know about you, but I am too impatient to wait for the Keurig in the morning. Waiting another 217 years to improve the economic wage gap isn’t going to fly.

Judging by numbers like these, it’s clear that gender-based discrimination is still a norm in too many businesses.

Too few are taking a proactive approach to keeping their office a positive environment where all employees can thrive, regardless of your gender.

My Personal Wake-Up Call

Prior to working at Lucky Orange,  I learned to accept discrimination as just a part of my daily life.

Sexual harassment? Check!

Ignored at meetings and trade shows solely because of my gender? Check!

Passed over for promotions that instead went to less qualified peers? Check!

Lower salary than my less-than-qualified male peers? Check!

Pregnancy discrimination? Check!

Stuck doing “office housework?” Check!

Hearing “that time of the month” jokes? Check!

I’ve always worked in industries typically filled with men, and though that shouldn’t be an excuse, I didn’t feel I was in a position to do anything about it.

Then it happened: at a previous job, one woman - a coworker and friend - attended a local trade show with several sales account managers.

After the trade show, the group moved to a nearby hotel restaurant where they enjoyed dinner and a few drinks. I’m sure you already know where this headed.

As the dinner was winding down and guests departing, one of the sales account managers crossed the line with my friend. She was put in a position by this man who then threatened her job if she told anyone in the company.

When she broached the topic with her boss the next day, she was advised to ignore it and move on.  This sales account manager was a top seller in the company, and the company couldn’t risk losing someone like that.

If you’re not horrified, you should be.

Not only was the incident considered excusable by upper management, but it set a dangerous precedent across the company.

It wasn’t somewhere I wanted to be.  

6 Principles for Creating an Equal Opportunity Work Environment

Not long after the incident, I stumbled upon a job opening at a local startup called Lucky Orange. As the interview and vetting process progressed, I faced the reality of being the only woman in an office of men and all of my past experiences came flooding to mind.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t fearful that it would just another good ol’ boys club.  

However, the moment I stepped into the office, I realized that this would be different.

I quickly found that Lucky Orange is thriving in the hot tech industry because it breaks out of the corporate mold.

Two years later, I’m not the only woman in my office anymore, and Lucky Orange has doubled in size.

However, even with more people, personalities, and potential problems, the company remains firm on maintaining an atmosphere that allows everyone - men and women - to grow the company and their roles.

It’s about more than having an incredible product. It’s about more than having sharp and talented staff. It’s about more than supporting out-of-the-box problem solving.

How do we make it work?

Simply put, Lucky Orange makes sure it provides and maintains a positive atmosphere with equal opportunities for all by following six principles:

1.  Leave Success Undefined

I’m sure you can imagine the Lucky Orange office is an eclectic group of men and women. At first glance, we are a casual bunch with a wide range of experiences and education.

No one is wearing a power suit or waving an MBA over the rest of us and you’re just as likely to see our support team helping to develop a new feature as you would a developer.

Because of this, no two successful employees at Lucky Orange look alike.

None of us is defined into one role or position, and we all bring a unique set of skills and unquenchable thirst of knowledge to the table.

Promotions and raises aren’t based on what a corporate ladder dictates. Success is undefined.

Now, leaving success undefined doesn’t mean Lucky Orange ignores what it takes to succeed. The end goal of our company is probably a lot like yours - grow business, expand operations, and kick ass.

All of the employees here at Lucky Orange are involved with the long-term vision of our company and features, and we each have high but achievable goals.

Even so, falling short of that goal doesn’t mean we have failed; it just means we may need to readjust and refocus as we learn.

The result: There is no end to how far you can grow when there’s nothing defining or limiting each employee’s success.

Everyone is on an equal playing field.

2. Make Every Voice Matter

Research has found that men interrupt women 33% more than they interrupt other men. It may not always be intentional, but it’s a problem that is rarely addressed at most companies. Lucky Orange tackled this problem head-on by making interruptions aren’t inexcusable.

Also, every single person who works at Lucky Orange - whether you’re in sales, marketing, development, or design - has an equal share of the table.

Every person who works here has a different perspective, and that diversity has made Lucky Orange one of the leading conversion optimization products on the market today.

The result: By having an equal say in the product, each employee contributes to the growth of our business and adds a unique set of insight that may have been missed.

3. Make Respect a Priority

Everyone wants to be respected.

In fact, one Harvard Business Review survey of more than 20,000 employees found that respect was the top behavior that survey respondents said would lead to greater employee engagement and commitment.

Of course, respect is more than just a gender issue; it’s a human and social issue.

At Lucky Orange, we show respect for all by:

Honoring different beliefs, opinions, philosophies, religions, backgrounds, and ideas

Praising each other often (this is especially common from our co-founders)

Thanking even more frequently

Removing guilt - just own up to your mistake, fix it, and move on

Apologizing when needed

Eliminating gossip

By making respect a priority, our co-founders have opened their proverbial doors to everyone, are ready to listen, and do not hesitate to take action to keep the work environment the best it can be.

The result: Employees are more engaged, trying to do their best, and take emotional stock in the company’s success.

4. Put Family First

No one prepared me for motherhood, but it wasn’t the long nights or colicky infants that I couldn’t handle. Rather, I was sorely unprepared to choose between my career and my family and defend my decision. 

Suddenly, being a mom in the workplace meant I had to justify this choice to strangers and friends alike.

To other moms, I had to give up countless mid-morning playdates or listen to hours of lectures of why daycare is evil.  Spoiler: It’s not.

To my coworkers at previous jobs, especially when my kids were younger, I was treated like a subpar employee just because I was a mom.

Read that again. My skill, experience, results, or drive had no bearing on their opinion of me - it was defined only because I was a working mom.

All they saw was me leaving mid-afternoon to make it to the school pick-up line on time; they didn’t see that I would actually get to work pre-dawn, work through my lunch, and put in another four hours of work in the evenings from home.

I can’t begin to tell you the frustration in seeing my underachieving coworkers - typically childless men - earn undeserved promotions while I fought hard to be a top performer and barely saw an annual raise.

That wasn’t right nor will it ever be right.

It’s time to stop putting women into a box that makes them choose between work and family; It’s time to end the discrimination against working parents, especially working moms. 

For women who are struggling: give yourself permission to not do or have it all.

It’s okay to let things go, even if it’s work.

In 10 years, I’m not going to look back and remember how many retweets or extra page views I brought in. I will, however, remember hunting for butterflies with my daughter or learning how to dance “the floss” with my son.

Take Katie Couric’s advice: “Get rid of the guilt...When you're in one place, don't feel bad that you're not at work; when you're at work, don't feel bad that you're not at home."

For employers: Step outside of the box and start looking at your employees like the trusted workers they are. See what happens when you give all employees a chance to have a life outside of work!

PepsiCo’s first female CEO Indra Nooyi, who stepped down from her role earlier this year, said it best:

“We need to create an environment where we can productively allow women to use their skills but also allow them to do everything else. Our career clock and biological clock are in conflict. We have to figure out a way to resolve the conflict because nobody else will."

No, offering a work perk like egg-freezing isn’t the answer. 

Look at paid maternity AND paternity options, flexible scheduling, and open communication.

During summer months, consider even extending a work-from-home option and find ways to help new mothers (and fathers) settle in after returning back to work.

In probably no surprise at this point, Lucky Orange takes this to the next step in making it possible for the balance between work and family to be healthy and productive. 

Flexible is just the tip of the iceberg. 

At Lucky Orange, it’s expected that we put work to the back burner to spend time with our families, and there’s no guilt or shame involved.  

For example, last week, I was juggling school pick-ups. Mind you, I have one child in middle school and one in grade school.

I left the office before 3:00 pm and shuttled my kids between school, home, strength training, and basketball practice. I was just happy that everyone ate dinner together at 8:00 pm. Needless to say, I wasn’t able to touch my work laptop until the next morning. 

Because I had the flexibility to adjust my schedule, I was able to get all of my accomplishments done in advance and was more productive the next day as well.  There was no guilt involved from myself or my boss. 

The result: The more family-friendly the office and work environment, the happier the employees, and the stronger the team.

5. Don’t Fear Unlimited Time Off

This one kind of goes hand-in-hand with putting family first.

Stop me if this sounds familiar – you’re a working mom, and all of your personal time off is spent working around sick kids, daycare provider vacations, or school schedules. If there is a cash-out option at the end of the year for unused personal time off, you’ve never had that luxury.

Now, if you’re like me, at a traditional job, every single hour is carefully planned out early in the year just so you can try to get it approved before your single coworker can take it instead.

I can’t tell you how many times at previous jobs I had to be so mindful of my hours of vacation or work through every fever because there was simply no other option available.

In the end, I was often left working during my approved personal time off because “something suddenly came up” or  I could prepare to come back to a mount of guilt from my coworkers.

Let’s just agree that the most corporate personal time off policies seem to encourage that behavior. Instead, try implementing unlimited personal time off to give everyone the option to thrive.

I know. Unlimited personal time off gets a bad rap, but for Lucky Orange, it has paid off.

Maternity and paternity leave are included, meaning you are encouraged (but not forced) to take off as much time as you need to bond with a new baby

If you’re sick, stay home. As an added bonus, that means we see less illness travel around the office as well.

If your kids are sick, stay home. We’re urged to stay home with them; we’re also encouraged to no even work from home. Sick kids need a little extra love!

If you need a mental break, do it! There’s no need to make up an excuse that you’re sick. If you need a day off to regain a better state of mind, do it.

Basically, don’t become a “work martyr” who sacrifices vacations in hope of impressing the boss and advancing your career.

In reality, they are actually less likely to be promoted and receive a raise and more likely to burn out! So, don’t follow their lead!

Lucky Orange (and IMPACT for that matter) has found that when you treat employees like the adults they are, no one games the system or tries to abuse the unlimited time off policy.

In fact, it can be the exact opposite of what you expect.

When I told my boss I would be taking three weeks off for a long cruise at the end of the year, I assured him that I would have everything prepared in advance and could even hop on a few times during the cruise to check on my projects.

His response wasn’t to worry about that; he wanted to make sure I took a few extra days off before the vacation to avoid burning out.

The result: Employees take the time they need, avoid burnout, and are more productive in their daily tasks.

6. Rethink Your Hiring Process

Companies need to take ownership of mindsets and policies that allow discrimination to continue, but it’s also necessary to re-evaluate hiring processes as well. 

For example, we all know there are specific questions employers aren’t allowed to ask in interviews, such as “are you married?” or “do you have children?” Even so, that doesn’t stop employers from looking for visual clues to give them the answers. 

During a short period of unemployment during the last recession, I quickly learned that some employers were looking at my wedding ring and already judging me by it. They assumed I obviously was a young woman of childbearing age and would end up pregnant with the year. 

I know because one of the employers came out and told me their concerns. Nothing I said reversed their opinions, and I didn’t get the job (not that I wanted it at that point anyway).

I needed a job, so I became one of 30% of the women who removed their wedding rings before interviewing to avoid any judgment from employers. 

So what is an employer to do?

Find your own bias. It’s hard to move beyond the bias we have on others, but there are steps interviewers can take. For example, blur out the names on resumes to evaluate them without preconceived bias. Catch yourself before you assume anything about a candidate.

Interview as a panel. The more input you have for a candidate, the less discrimination can help sway the decision. I would advise having at least three different managers in the interview process to allow for broader discussion and evaluation.

Be as objective as possible. Even if you use a panel and can recognize your own bias, it’s still possible to discriminate against a candidate solely because of her gender.  Instead, create a standardized test for all candidates and compare the results anonymously side-by-side. When you get to compare apples to apples, you’re truly going to be able to see which candidate is the best fit for the position.

Don’t forget the job posting. Avoid gender-specific word choices in the job posting itself. Research shows that masculine language (i.e. competitive and determined) can be seen by women as “perceiving that they would not belong in the work environment.” Instead, use words like collaborative and cooperative.

Lucky Orange takes the hiring process very seriously, as do most companies. Most job openings take more than a month to fill, but it’s not because we don’t have incredible candidates.

We take our time in interviewing and evaluating each candidate as a team to avoid any undue bias. In fact, there’s no judgment if a candidate is male or female or are fresh out of college or a seasoned professional.

Each position is given a test to complete in a pre-interview phone call and during the in-person interview. Since the test is objective, there’s no question which candidate is more skilled for the position. 

By the time a candidate is hired, it’s based on absolute skill and expertise. No bias or discrimination can even creep into the process.

The result: Eliminating discrimination and encouraging the perfect fit makes for a productive, collaborative team environment.  

Take Off the Blinders: Why Your Company Should Care

As an employer, it’s time to remove your blinders and look around.

If you don’t think you have a problem with discrimination, ask your team anonymously.

Start the discussion to improve your company culture,  then make real changes.

Here are some ideas if you get stuck:

Re-evaluate your policies and handbooks. Is it punishing a specific group of employees (like parents or women)? How is it supporting employees to maintain a better work/life balance? Treat your workers as valued parts of your company.

Follow-up with managers and demand a higher level of commitment from them to ensure an inclusive culture. Mentor managers and help them achieve better development to be better leaders that can stop harassment and discrimination.

Make it easy for employees to take time off and encourage it! Some companies offer to help pay for vacation for employees in exchange for the promise completely disconnecting from work. It turns out, vacation time is a win for employees and business!  

Trust your employees. I’m talking to you, CEO and COO. The more you trust your employees, the more empowered they feel. Make everyone a CEO of something for them to own.

Conduct regular, anonymous surveys. Gauge what’s going on within your company and keep your finger on the pulse of your employees. Allow them to contribute suggestions and ideas, and take them seriously. The more you value feedback and it seriously, the more you’re going to find people are encouraged to submit feedback!

Research shows that the more a company like yours ignores discrimination, employees are less engaged and the more stressed. All of this adds up to real losses for your bottom line.

The American Psychological Association estimated in 2015 that $500 billion is lost from the U.S. economy due to workplace stress so the potential costs of getting this wrong are very real.

The ball is in your court. As employers, discrimination is likely already within your company walls, and the longer it goes unaddressed, the more talent you’re to lose and miss out on incredible growth.

As an employee, take action. If your employers aren’t listening, share this with them. Print it out and put it on your COO’s desk.

As Indra Nooyi says, "We want to create an environment where every employee can bring their whole self to work and not just make a living but also have a life."

Your voice matters. Discrimination should never be tolerated as not the status quo.

from Web Developers World https://www.impactbnd.com/blog/lessons-on-how-to-create-an-equal-work-environment

[myheart-elsewhere]

im bored pt3 || 11/22/17

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? lick

2. What is home to you? i havent yet figured that out

3. What was the last lie you told? that i was doing great lol

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? for the most part

5. What is the creepiest toy ever made? there are hella creepy toys tbh

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. most the shit i do is unacceptable but its whatever.

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn’t mix them up.)  1: using a cell phone bc it can be hard to teach adults how to use them lol. 2: seeing a color vs describing it

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? probably in school idk

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? over 15..

10. If humans didn’t evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? talking excitedly about what made us happy

11. How many romantic “things” or “flings” have you had? depends on how serious you mean, so between 2 and 5.

12. What is your paradise? lisetning to music

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) i like the sound of nails tapping on something

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? hopefully none

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? you can stay in touch with loved ones. 

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? oh jesus here we go. first off, yes- i care about quite a few celebrities. they can make us feel a happiness like no other. if you’re having a bad day, all you need is to hear their voice and the pain goes away. they speak on things that are important and meaningful. they can be our inspirations and role models. when they have a new interview, song (or movie or something else.. whatever your favorite celebrity does) it always gives us something to look forward to. they make you feel less alone. they make you feel loved. i could keep going on but i have 134 more questions..

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? make plans then cancel last minute.

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? at times, but rarely. pros: it helps get your point across. cons: it can be annoying idk

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? guitar and piano

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? if im wearing makeup, yes. i dont have a good reason except that i like my makeup lol

21. List 3 things you like about yourself? im loving, forgiving, and supportive.

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? “be yourself”

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? currently, probably not.. im basically still a child myself.

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? listen to 5h

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? today at work

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? i can be both depending on the situation or social setting

27. What constitutes a good friend? them being there for you when you need them, being supportive in everything you do, and loving you unconditionally.

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? my one best friend. i miss her.

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? “do your homework.”

30. What is your dream job? movie director

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? hardworking bc at least you’re trying.

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? some people are shocked that im gay

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? why men can treat girls like items and/or their property and just throw them away when theyre done..

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? hm idk

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. theres been a few but the first one who comes to mind is this girl who talked about herself 24/7 and didnt care about anyone except for herself.

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don’t know. You can’t switch back. What do you do? try to figure out life and probably cry lol

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? can i do both?

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? school doesnt teach important classes lmfao

39. Name the last book you read. “trials and tribulations” 

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? i would feel empty..

41. When was the last time you made the first move? about a month in a half ago

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? i love it

43. What was the last movie you watched? i dont remember bc i rarely watch movies

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? sometimes

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself? sometimes

46. When was the last time you cried? last night

47. What are you scared of? mostly irrational things

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? let’s not talk about that lol

49. What are some of your hobbies? reading, listening to music, doing my makeup, social media, and fangirling lol

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? idk bc im stupid and dont understand what superficial means lol

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? i think im a good friend bc i always put others before myself and i do anything and everything i can to make them happy. and im always there for them.

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? sometimes

53. What have you learned the hard way? how to lose someone you love

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? not rely on others to be your happiness

55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) writing for sure

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? both

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? smart moments are rare for me

58. What is your ideal meal? steak and potatoes mmmmm

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? be on their phone

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? i love animals, specifially dogs

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? stealing 

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? si

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? youtube

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? supermario lol

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today’s society? everyone views it differently. in my personal opinion, ever since the word “thick” got popular around 2 years ago, more people are apprecating that and not focusing on being “super model thin” which i think is great.

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? hell nah. if i have school, around 6am. if i dont have school, around 10am

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? HERCULES!!!!!! meg

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? def city

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? either or

70. What are the best things about winter? COOL WEATHER

71. What scares you most about the future? idk what it holds

72. What makes you feel old? when i realize HSM came out over 10 years ago.

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? too many

74. What are some of your New Year’s resolutions? havent even thought about it bc they never happen lol

75. What is your life story in 6 words? i am really really gay bro

76. Describe yourself in one word. fangirl

77. What bad habits do you do? give out too many chances

78. What genre of music do you listen to? mostly pop, but i listen to a lot of different genres

79. Most prominent childhood memory? getting doughnuts with my dad every saturday mornning

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don’t, how would this change your life? i have a brother who is 20 years older than me. he lived in ohio and right after i was born my parents and i moved to florida. i only get to see him like once a year. it’s really sad. i think of him more as a distant uncle than a brother. but he always has done everything he can to make me happy and i appreciate that so much.

81. Spirit animal? jaguar

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? not really

83. What is the worst advice you’ve ever been given? ive been given so much bad advice i cant pick one specific thing lol

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. my best friend liv, my aunt lori, and lauren jauregui

85. Favorite memory of your family. being in ohio this past summer staying up til 2am with my parents, my brother and his fiance just telling stories and laughing our asses off.

86. What do you look for in a relationship? affection

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? yes, lauren jauregui. i love everything she stands for.

88. What is your opinion on social media? i love it. it’s what keeps you close with family/friends who live in different states or countries for that matter.

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? both, but im mostly optimisitic.. well i try to be at least

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? CONCERT TICKETS

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? getting lost outside in the middle of n where after jingle ball 2015

92. What superpower would ruin the world? reading peoples minds tbh

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? smoke

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? i cant think of any rn

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? ohio to see my family

96. How do you approach people? i.. just.. do..

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? sometimes they change

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? bite my nails

99. What languages can you speak? english and quite a bit of spanish

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? who knows

101. What do you do on your lazy days? lay in my pjs, play on my phone and listen to music

102. What ended your last relationship? it wasnt an actual relationship, but she couldnt make up her goddamn mind and she wanted to be a fuckgirl

103. Favorite food? sushi and steak

104. What is the most terrifying dream you’ve ever had? oooo lets not talk about that..

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? 3 days  ago

106. What was the last friendship you broke? one of my “best friends” bc she didnt like that i was friends with someone she didnt like

107. Do you have any pet peeves? people chewing with their mouth open

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? my papa

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? last week

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? that i procrasinate everything

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? lauren jauregui

112. What is your biggest motivation? my best friend

113. What did you want to be when you were little? a veternarian lol

114. What are some things that you are good at? makeup

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? singing lol

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you’re trying to work? probably my phone although i don’t want to admit it lol

117. How important is privacy to you? pretty important.. but it depends on who we want privacy from

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? everyone being nice to each other

119. What’s the craziest lie you’ve ever told? i trust no one so that stays to myself for my own well-being

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? i dont go to parties

121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? show off on a skateboard lmao

122. What is the stupidest thing you’ve done to impress someone? told them i have a pt cruiser but thats not even a nice car lmao

123. What is your morning routine? on a typical school day: wake up, check my phone, do my hair/makeup, get dressed, eat then leave.

124. What’s the last thing you did that is worth remembering? made a good sale at work today and it was my first day of my first job.

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? both but mostly help me.

126. What is your opinion on playing “hard to get?” its stupid

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? pros: you dont have to be afriad of not being honest. cons: it could make someone really mad at you.

128. What do you consider “leading” someone on? telling them you like them and consistenly flirting with them.

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? both

130. What do you admire most about your friends? they try to make me happy

131. What do you admire most about your family? they want the best for me

132. What is your opinion on “going with the flow?” ehh stand out, be different

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? i enjoy talking, but i almost always listen

134. When is it time to end a friendship? when they become a selfish little bitch

135. What is the worst excuse you’ve ever come up with? the excuses i make up to get out of going to school

136. If GPA didn’t matter, what courses would you have taken? idk im not interested in school

137. What are your favorite baby names? paris

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? few days ago

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? checking your phone

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. turn ons: confidence (but not cockiness), being outgoing, being able to have a conversation, and a good fashion sense (fashion sense in my opinion haha). cons: ooo being conceited and only talking about yourself.

141. Biggest disappointment. me lmao

142. Do you have any self-restraint? i do.

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? last week

144. Prized possession(s)? honestly, my phone. and a bracelet my best friend gave me,

145. What is your opinion on second chances? most people deserve it.

146. Text or call? depends on the person tbh

147. What do you like about the 21st century? it has social media

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? stay strong, babygirl. youre gonna go through a lot in the next 5 years, but you need to be strong and know you will fight through it all and come out stronger than you were before. nothing is what it seems. nothing lasts forever. expect the least and you’ll get the best. and remember, a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.

149. How organized are you? too organized. 

150. Favorite mode of transportation. car

[twocatskissing]

Random questions 1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? lick lick lick lick (i like) 2. What is home to you? where ever i feel comfortable. so..not necessarily my house all of the time, it depends who i am with. 3. What was the last lie you told? i ...dont know. i just went thru my texts and i can't recall. but i've lied several times today probably without knowing. 4. Does everyone deserve the truth? no. u dont deserve my ass honey! 5.What is the creepiest toy ever made? i'll think about it 6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. talk shit get hit 7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) literally anything work related. i hate explaining to people, i just want to do it myself, it's so much more easier. but this question is making my head hurt so i'm moving on. 8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? i worked REALLY Hard on print edition II 9. How many all nighters have you pulled? probably one? two? i'm not good at them 10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? hugs. 11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? maybe...three? 12. What is your paradise? honestly where ever you are 13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) RAIN NOISES. UGH. I LOVE THEM. I WOULD DIE FOR THEM. 14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? one, not including myself 15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? communicating. i think it says i suck at communicating in person. 16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? i care about celebrities because i aspire to be like them, and i enjoy learning about other's successes 17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? i dont know how to answer this. anyone doing anything for me makes me so happy 18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? i do this a lot, i get it from my mom. i think it just makes me sound annoying. 19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? no i'm a potato 20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? i used to take them a lot but one week during 9th grade my self esteem plummeted and now i hate taking them. i think i am so ugly and unattractive. 21. List 3 things you like about yourself? i'm kinda emo rn so i cant think of anything 22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? don't make mountains out of mole hills 23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? HELL NO. i cant even take care of my damn self. even my pee is telling me my body is in serious danger. 24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? i talk to sierra, practice a makeup look, or go to sleep really early 25. When was the last time you felt awkward? when i went out to starbucks earlier tonight i was in this really weird state where i felt really weak and off, i felt kinda awkward and bad 26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? im super introverted but i always like having one person with me, i don't like being completely isolated, but i hate having multiple people around me. 27. What constitutes a good friend? having conversations that never dry out, being there for you right on the spot, good hugs 28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? i would want just one best friend, but i've come to realize that people i'll get super close with get really annoyed with me easily and that's not what i want 29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? that hetero shit. 30. What is your dream job? journalist at refinery 29 31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? hardworking because from there you can build your skills 32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? IM A VIRGIN 33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? why he so ugly. 34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? what does this even mean 35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. i don't want to hate them again 36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? hope they aren't suicidal like i am 37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? girl i'd sell that shit. need that college money. 38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? speech, bc u need speech to speech 39. Name the last book you read. animal farm 40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? BROOO i would say i would love this, but i would never be able to be with someone if i'm like that. no homo. 41. When was the last time you made the first move? ...Never 42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? it's ok :/. nothing is worse than country music, tho. 43. What was the last movie you watched? hidden figures 44. Do you like and appreciate your life? no 45. Do you like and appreciate yourself? No. 46. When was the last time you cried? on saturday 47. What are you scared of? rejection and thunder storms 48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? no let's not get into that tonight 49. What are some of your hobbies? makeup, editing stories 50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? overthink and over analyze 51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? i would say i'm a decent friend. i'm extremely loyal and supportive, but at the same time i will shut u out if i'm sad and be really clingy. 52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? no. same ol' mistakes - rihanna 53. What have you learned the hard way? she wasn't shit 54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? friendship 55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) i write a fuckton l56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? logical 57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? get a job 58. What is your ideal meal? sushi 59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? tell me they're a republican 60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? DOGGIES 61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? discrimination against transgender citizens/denying access to preferred bathrooms 62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? i really like the kardashians 63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? the kardashians 64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? i like playing overwatch when i'm at my dad's house but i rarely come over there 65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? do what ya want hoe 66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? i usually wake up at around 7:30 on a weekend but you won't find me walking around because i'll stay in bed until 10 67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? i love ratatouille, but my favorite disney character will be tiana from princess and the frog because i love her. 68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? in the city. i want to live on a skyscraper. 69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? near the ocean because beach towns are so cute. 70. What are the best things about winter? how it's not 1000387377227° 71. What scares you most about the future? rejection from colleges, and any relationships i attempt to peruse. 72. What makes you feel old? ratatouille came out ten years ago 73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? 24 74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? i don't make those they're annoying 75. What is your life story in 6 words? really really really really emo 76. Describe yourself in one word. ugly 77. What bad habits do you do? um it should say *do you have, but i guess i tend to put myself down a lot whenever someone compliments me. and if i'm having a bad day and someone says something mean that's suppose to be a joke, i start crying. 78. What genre of music do you listen to? everything except country 79. Most prominent childhood memory? my dad's last day before he moved out 80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? no thanks 81. Spirit animal? sloth 82. Do you believe in horoscopes? sort of? i didnt until i realized i hate capricorns 83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given? just stop being sad 84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. that's hard i have a lot of people i care about so imma add one more -dana -sierra -sarahi -chloe 85. Favorite memory of your family. hmm not really 86. What do you look for in a relationship? someone who likes me back, loyalty 87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? i don't pay attention enough to look up to someone 88. What is your opinion on social media? i love it 89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? both, it depends on the environment 90. List some things that you think are overpriced? M👏🏼A👏🏼K👏🏼E👏🏼U👏🏼P 91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? well earlier today when i was closing this people stood out the door waiting for me to come out it was really weird 92. What superpower would ruin the world? being able to read minds 93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? date girls hdhshshns 94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? girl i am too tired for this 95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? i would go back to costa rica ❤ 96. How do you approach people? i dont. 97. What is your opinion on first impressions? what does this even mean 98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? dance the cha cha slide. i'm too embarrassed to do it now. 99. What languages can you speak? english and most spanish 100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? i feel like it'll be a lot more progressive. my 101. What do you do on your lazy days? i just lie in bed 102. What ended your last relationship? well as for my last real relationship it ended because i was really sad and so were they 103. Favorite food? sushi or chiles rellanos or hot wings 104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? most of my dreams are terrifying in that i either get rejected or people leave. what's new? lol. 105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? like two weeks ago i read a text and i got seriously angry and had a suicidal episode 106. What was the last friendship you broke? i dont....know... 107. Do you have any pet peeves? i hate hearing people chew, or people talking over me 108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? no one gives me hugs. 109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? like this morning jdhsbsbsb 110. What part of your personality do you want to change? all of it. i want to be a cold distant bitch who is likable. i also want to get rid of my depression 111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? everyone stay negative 112. What is your biggest motivation? this question is grammatically confusing 113. What did you want to be when you were little? a vet or a singer 114. What are some things that you are good at? im pretty good at my job, and doing reading/writing stuff 115. What is one thing you want to be good at? math 116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? my phone definitely 117. How important is privacy to you? very. i hate nosy people. 118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? don't be nosy kiddos! 119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? i'm straight 120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? i don't go to parties, but when i do i do not talk about myself, or talk at all 121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? ummmm i don't know how to answer this 122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? i will spend all of my money on people or things to impress others, it's ridiculous. i'll pay for dinner if i'm trying to impress a friend, or just waste my money. 123. What is your morning routine? spray myself in rose water. get dressed. Maybe MAYBE do some makeup 124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering? taking photos with sierra 125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? help i believe. i'm not doing anything shitty rn 126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" i will honestly drop you so quick if you do that to me and i find out. i have no tolerance for that shit, i will not fall for it, and i will leave your ass. 127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? pros: sends the message, makes things quicker cons: getting offended, no fun 128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? BROOO DONT SVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS SHIF WHERE DO I EVEN FUCKING START OHHHH NY GOODDDHDHDHSHS BITCHDHDHSHSBS IM SGEJSNSBSANSBSBBVSSBA 129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? both, but mostly zoned. 130. What do you admire most about your friends? their intelligence. i'm so jealous of them, but i admire it. 131. What do you admire most about your family? their strong work ethic 132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" it's so hard to do, no gracias. i need structure 133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? listening 134. When is it time to end a friendship? when it's causing deep painful and emotional harm to you, it's abusive in a sense 135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? "i'm just stressed out" 136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? delta, so i could study hospitality and tourism dhshhsejsh 137. What are your favorite baby names? babies are gross 138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? when i went to the park with dana on monday 139. What instantly ruins a conversation? dry ass responses 140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. turn on's: buying me tonight's, hugs, touching, eye contact, laughing turn offs: distance, being ignored 141. Biggest disappointment. rejection by ******* 143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? when i talked to wheatsville 144. Prized possession(s)? my costa rica ticket, my makeup collection 145. What is your opinion on second chances? it depends on what they did to fuck up 146. Text or call? text 147. What do you like about the 21st century? my phone 148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? don't date until ur mentally stable 149. How organized are you? ask sierra 150. Favorite mode of transportation. car