#//dorcas really does love remus i swear

[myriadparacosm]

HERE IS THE UPDATE OF BLACK BEATS BLACK: Sweet Alyssum WHERE JAMES F POTTER WETS HIS PANTS FOR REGULUS AND TRIES TO MAKE OUT WITH HIS WRIST

Feel like I'm writing the most shameful porn when it's just James F. Potter kissing Regulus' wrist like a starved believer.

[msmk11]

Just Like All the Other Angry Boyfriends Before

James Potter x Hufflepuff!fem!reader

WC: 4.2k

CW: angst; hurt/comfort; fluff; idiots

Summary: Two idiots in love who don’t know how to handle their emotions properly- aka school dance drama

A/n: yall said you wanted this fic even tho I lowkey hate it, so here it is!

Shrill squeals echo through the stone corridor as you make your way to the Great Hall after class. You turn the corner to find a group of girls surrounding Alice Fortescue and Frank Longbottom. Alice is blushing profusely as you hear her declare, “yes I’ll go to the formal with you!”

Frank whoops excitedly and draws Alice into a warm embrace. There are more squeals from the girls, so high pitched you’re sure they’ve shattered your ear drums. As you pass the happy couple, you smile at them warmly and share your congratulations. On the inside, however, you grimace. You’re no antagonist to fun, really, but as the winter formal continues to approach closer and closer, and you are still without a date, you find yourself beginning to reject the idea of any formal at all. It’s not that you have a lack of options either- plenty of people have asked you- but rather, you’ve been holding off in hopes that a certain special someone will.

Begrudgingly, you accept that if you put things off much longer, you will be dateless. And while you’re not necessarily opposed to going alone, you’d rather not when nearly all your friends have dates. Lily has Mary, Marlene has Dorcas, Alice has Frank, and Remus has Sirius.

That leaves you and James.

Although you’re a Hufflepuff, you throw your stuff down onto the Gryffindor table and plop into a seat next to Lily. You huff dejectedly and rest your head on her shoulder, “Why does everyone have to be all happy and in love? It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid honey, you’re just bitter because P-“

You slap your hand over her mouth and glare at her, “SHH there’s people around.”

“Right, sorry,” she replies, prying your hand off her mouth.

“Also…” she pauses and sniffs your hand, “is that a new lotion? What scent is it?”

Before you can answer, you’re interrupted by Mary who sits down on the other side of Lily and kisses her on the cheek.

“Uh, babe, why are you sniffing her hand?”

“I’m not weird, I swear! She’s the one who shoved her hand in my face. I just wanted to know what lotion she was using.”

Mary gives the two of you questioning looks.

“Potter” Lily mouths.

Mary nods in understanding and smirks. She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively as she shifts her attention to the raven-haired boy a few seats down.

“Still waiting for him to ask you?”

“Mhmmm.”

“You know, it is the 20th century, you could try asking him for a change.”

“Excellent idea, love! Oi, Potter, come here,” Lily shouts.

You glare at them in panic and mumble, “I hate you both.”

James looks up from his conversation with his friends and slides down the bench towards you.

“We have a very important question for you,” Lily says.

You glare at her once again, “I think Lily here is actually far over exaggerating the importance of the question. I’m sure whatever discussion you were having with Remus, Peter, and Sirius was much more urgent.”

James chuckles, “It’s the opposite actually. Remus and Sirius were arguing over what they are wearing to the formal. So really, you saved me.”

You let out the most pitiful laugh, cursing your luck.

“So… what is this very important question you wanted to ask me?”

You attempt to act nonchalant as you ask him if he has a date for the formal yet.

“Oh, the formal? Not yet, though I have a few options in mind. But if you’re implying you want to go together, I’m totally down.”

You’re pretty sure your heart skips a beat.

“I mean, I don’t want you to go alone while everyone else in the friend group has a date.”

This time, your heart drops.

“Oh, so you don’t mind doing me a favor and taking me to the formal?” You ask, an accusing tone to your voice.

“Right, that’s what friends are for,” he says, innocently.

Nail in the coffin.

“So, let me get this straight. You’ll only go with me because you feel sorry for me and because you don’t think I can get a date to the formal?” you ask angrily.

“No I-“ he begins defensively.

“Well you should know, Potter, that I do have a date to the formal, and I was only asking if you had one because I was worried you were going to be the one going alone.”

“Wait! You’re going with someone?!” He says, shocked.

“Don’t act so surprised. Just because I’m ‘one of the guys’ to you doesn’t mean I’m not desirable to other people,” you retort.

Then, you stand up and snatch your books off the table. As you storm away you hear him yell, “Wait, but who are you going with?”

Great question.

*****

Back in the Hufflepuff dorms, you sit in one of the common room chairs stewing over your recent interaction with James. While your initial reaction was anger, time has led way to more intense feelings of hurt. While he didn’t outwardly reject you, the sting of the friend zone was just as painful. You needed to move on, but with who?

The universe seems to answer your question in the form of Amos Diggory.

Amos Diggory- an arrogant, handsome, girlfriend-stealer, with an intense fear of commitment. He would be perfect.

No foreigner to flirting, you put on your most charming smile and call out, “Hey Diggory…”

He looks in your direction and you motion for him to come sit. He smiles at his friends and shoos them away. As Amos comes and sits down next to you you know that, if this goes according to plan, you will royally piss James off. The two rival in looks and on the quidditch field, and James cannot stand Amos.

“Hey gorgeous,” he says, looking you up and down.

“So, you, uh, have a date to the formal yet?”

“No, I prefer to go alone. So my options are open.”

You smirk teasingly, “What if I can convince you to change your mind?”

Amos smiles at you seductively, “I’m listening.”

“Well, you like to go to these things alone so you can entertain the attentions of many girls. But, if you go with one girl, me, you’ll get even more attention. What is going to happen when all of the girls at Hogwarts think that the Amos Diggory is off the market?”

“You have me intrigued,” he says, “And how are you not in Slytherin with that devious little mind of yours?”

“I prefer to keep it my little secret.”

Then, you lean closer to him, “Though I guess it’s our little secret now.”

Amos is falling perfectly into your trap, and you know that he already wants to kiss you. You pull away before he even gets the chance.

“Before I agree, what’s in this for you?” He asks.

“Revenge on James Potter…”

If your flirting hadn’t fully won him over, this does.

*****

In the evening, you make your way to the Gryffindor common room where you always do homework with your friends. Though James, Peter, and Sirius consistently show up late, you make sure to leave extra early to avoid conversation with James at all costs.

You forget, however, that James sometimes knows you better than you know yourself. So when you arrive, he is already there on the couch, waiting for you. Lily and Remus are spread out on the floor, Mary is sprawled across a red chair, and Dorcas is lying in Marlene’s lap reading her textbook while Marlene writes a paper. James shoots up from his seat as you walk in.

“Hey! Can we talk?” He asks anxiously.

Although they pretend to hide it, you know your friends are secretly listening. Still, you don’t care.

“No, James, we can’t. Although it may be uncharted territory, you and I are in what people call a fight. So just let me be.”

“But shouldn’t we talk?”

“No, James. I don’t want to talk. Not right now.”

The fight leaves his body and he retreats, “fine. I’ll just leave you be.”

He grabs his stuff and goes up to his dorm as you settle yourself in his place.

“Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?” Remus asks softly.

“Maybe,” you say, “But I’m sick of always downplaying my feelings to protect his. It’s not fair to me.”

Lily grabs your hand, “you’re right, it’s not fair. And I’m sorry for pushing all of this on you, it wasn’t my place.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry too,” Mary adds.

“Well, I’m not. This just encouraged me to get over my silly little crush and focus my attentions on someone who will actually take interest in me. There are plenty of people out there.”

“Hell yeah there are!” Marlene says encouragingly.

Dorcas smacks her arm, “Marlene! James is one of your best friends!”

“So is she! I love them both, but she’s right, she needs to do what’s best for her.”

“Just don’t push him away completely,” Dorcas tells you seriously.

“I won’t,” you sigh, “He‘s still so important to me. It just won’t be in the way that I hoped.”

Silence falls over the group.

“Who fucking died?”

Everyone jumps and turns to look in the direction of the voice. Behind you stands Sirius and Peter, both with perplexed looks on their faces.

“James, after she fucking tore him apart earlier,” Marlene replies, motioning to you.

Peter nods as he plops down by your feet, “Oh right! I heard about that.”

Sirius smacks you upside the head, “Yeah, what was that all about?”

“He basically called me a fucking unattractive loser. What else was I supposed to do?” You say, smacking him back.

“I think you’re over-exaggerating just a little bit,” Mary responds cautiously.

“I mean, I think he was just trying to be nice. Maybe it hurt because he essentially friendzoned you?” Lily adds.

“Wait, do you have a crush on James?” Sirius asks you.

“Sirius, have you really never noticed?” Remus responds disbelievingly.

Sirius only shrugs his shoulders.

“Okay, I get it, I get it. James is the perfect golden boy and I’m just another one of Potter’s stupid fangirls who follows him blindly and makes a fool of themselves.”

“Honey no,” Lily starts, “it’s not that it’s-“

“Can you not lecture me, please?” You interrupt, “Maybe I overreacted, but is it so wrong to be angry about being pitied. Especially by someone you really care about?”

“No, it’s not,” Peter tells you, “I get it.”

“Thank you,” you respond dejectedly.

It’s quiet for a moment and you’re stuck stewing in your own self-loathing.

Then, Lily speaks up again, “Uhm, I have one more question, and then I’ll drop the subject.”

You nod, encouraging her to continue.

“Who are you going to take to the formal? Because you told James you had a date, even though you didn’t.”

“Oh, yeah, uhmmm about that…” you say, laughing nervously.

“What rash thing did you do now?” Dorcas asks.

“I may or may not have asked Amos Diggory to be my date to the dance…. And he said yes.”

Marlene laughs loudly, “Oh shit!”

*****

To avoid conflict, you decide that it’s best for you to go to the formal with Amos and his friends rather than string him along with yours. Tension is already high between James and you, and you know Amos’ being there would only make things worse. You try to push it out of your mind, but you can’t help wondering who James is taking to the formal with him. You picture all the prettier, smarter, and better girls he could be going with, and your stomach begins to ache. You are also worried about what people will say in relation to you going with Amos.

Your thoughts start to spiral. Will people hate you? Will James hate you? Is your dress all wrong? Will you be the worst dressed there? The anxieties are endless and there seems to be no relief in sight.

Still, you push through and doll yourself up, masking your true feelings behind layers of hairspray, makeup, and itchy fabric. Your dress is light blue with a silvery sheer fabric over top, like fresh snow on a frozen lake. The top half is form-fitting with silvery straps, and the bottom spreads outward in a loose skirt. You twist back the front strands of your hair with silver clips and adorn your face with light makeup and shimmery eyeshadow. At promptly eight you drag yourself to the common room where Amos sits with his friends and their dates.

You put on a fake smile, “Amos, you look handsome.”

He looks you up and down, “I know. And you look hot.”

What a gentleman.

You say a polite thank you and avoid some of the stares you’re getting from the other girls. You can tell that some are jealous already, yet they maintain outward politeness, which you’re grateful for.

Amos, at least, extends his arm, which you grab, as you walk towards the Great Hall. Your walk is filled with polite conversation about simple things from quidditch, to class, and plans for the holidays. So far, it’s not as bad as you thought, though you wished you would have just gone dateless with your friends.

You cast these regrets aside, however, when you arrive at your destination. To no one’s surprise, the Hogwarts decorating committee has outdone themselves once again. The typical long, wooden tables are gone and in place is a magnificent white dance floor that seems to shimmer like the snow. Warm, golden globes of light hang from the sky and snowflakes fall from above, though never reaching the ground. The room is an explosion of silvers, whites, and blues, and you’re sure you’ve stepped into a winter wonderland.

“This is just-“ Amos begins.

“Wow” you finish, “Like a winter wonderland.”

“And you’re its queen,” he says.

You blush in spite of yourself.

“Compliments won’t get you a kiss so soon,” you tease, “It’s only eight.”

He bites his lip, “fine. But I can only restrain myself from a beautiful girl so long.”

You laugh lightly and swat him on the shoulder. Then, music begins to play.

Amos motions towards the dance floor, “shall we?”

*****

As James adjusts his tie in the mirror, he can’t help but think about what a pathetic loser he is. Although he’d had plenty of girls who he could have gone to the formal with, he continued to wait, assuming there would be someone better coming along. Who that person was, he wasn’t sure. But now, he was alone.

And then there was you. He doesn't know what happened. One second you two were fine, and then suddenly, you blew up. While he knows that he insulted you, he can’t understand why you are so angry. Sirius said not to overthink it, that girls are just complicated, but you are one of his best friends. He knows there is something else going on and it’s left a terrible pit in his stomach.

“Earth to James!”

“Huh?” He awakes from his trance and notices that Peter is waving his hand in front of his face.

“You ready to go?”

“Oh, yeah.”

They head downstairs and meet up with the rest of the group- Pete and his girl from Ravenclaw, Sirius and Remus, Marlene and Dorcas, Mary and Lily, and you-

Not present because he is an ass.

James wonders who you’re going with.

They all cheer loudly, “James, you look great!”

“Thanks, guys, but it’s you all that look great.”

“Hell yeah we do!” Sirius exclaims.

Everyone laughs and begins to file out the portrait hole down to the Great Hall. Despite being the only dateless friend, James’ spirits are lifted by their jokes and ramblings. When they reach the dance, everyone oohs and aahs over the shimmery decorations. Instantly, James cranes his neck, looking for you in the crowd as he walks with the group towards a table off to the left. As they all set their stuff down, the music begins to play and couples rush to the floor. His friends join them, excited to dance.

“James, you coming?” Sirius asks.

He shakes his head, “next song.”

Sirius shrugs and walks off with Remus. James continues to search the crowd, looking for you. He realizes he doesn’t know what you’re wearing- and he supposes he never asked. James wonders if best friends are supposed to do that sort of thing.

Probably.

It hits him, then. With everything that��s been going on lately- being head boy, quidditch captain, and taking ridiculously hard classes, he’d sort of ignored you. It’s no wonder you’re so angry with him.

James feels totally guilty until he sees you. It’s then, he realizes, that he has a reason to be angry too. There you are, after all his moping and worrying, with Amos fucking Diggory. James knows that he hasn’t been the best of friends lately, but Diggory? That was his rival! You were crossing a line.

But what really bothers him the most is the way you’re laughing at something Diggiry said. He is hardly funny, and has the personality of a piece of paper. And why are you leaning so close to him? He’s not even that attractive or charming.

As you swirl across the dance floor, he watches how your hands hold tightly to Diggory’s shoulders, like he’s your anchor. James also notices Diggory’s hands around your waist, far too close to your ass, and his blood boils. No way would he let his rival feel up his friend.

When the song ends, James begins to stalk towards you two, but is pushed backwards by Sirius and Remus.

“Not worth it mate,” Sirius warns.

“But Padfoot, this is unbelievable. She is unbelievable. How could she ever agree to go with him? She knows how much I hate him, and is just trying to get back at me.”

“Mate, it’s this type of thinking that pushed her into his arms,” Remus mumbles.

“What, what do you mean?”

“James, she asked him to the formal after you basically made her feel like shit. Whether she realized it or not, she turned to who she thought would hurt you the most. She wanted you to feel what she was feeling, even a little bit.”

“It’s not her best decision, but ignoring her wasn’t yours either,” Sirius adds.

James rubs his face tiredly, “God, I know.”

Sirius pats his back, “Just… take a few minutes and then come join us. Don’t let it ruin your night.”

“And while you’re sitting here, maybe reflect a little more on why you’re so upset,” Remus adds.

“Rem-” Sirius says with a warning tone.

He puts his hands up defensively, “I didn’t say anything. Let’s go.”

As they walk away James notices their slight bickering. He laughs at them in spite of himself. Secretly, he’s always been a little bit jealous of their relationship. Though they are far from perfect, they’re comfortable with each other in a way that he can only hope for. He thinks the fact that they were friends for five years before they dated helped. There’s this trust and friendship that is so necessary in order to support the love and passion that comes with romance.

As another song ends, James decides not to get up from his seat. He watches Amos and you some more. While his blood is still boiling, there is a twinge of something else.

“Maybe reflect a little more on why you’re upset.”

*****

Surprisingly, you’re having more fun with Amos than you thought you would. While you would never date him, you appreciate his company tonight. He’s been making you laugh all night, so you’re surprised when another song comes on and he suddenly gets serious.

“You know, gorgeous, I’m not one to waste my time on Potter, but he’s been glaring in our direction for the past fifteen minutes.”

“Just ignore him.”

“I would, but it’s kind of hard when he is burning holes into my head.”

You huff apologetically, “God, I’m so sorry. I hope it’s not ruining your night.”

“Eh, I’m used to Potter throwing temper tantrums when he doesn’t get what he wants. He’s clearly just mad he’s not dancing with the most beautiful girl in the room.”

“Pfft, yeah right. He’s just mad that I’m dancing with you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t give a shit.”

“Can I give you my honest opinion?”

You hum in agreement.

“As I’m sure you know, I have a reputation for girlfriend stealing.”

“Yes? And?” You say, confused.

“Well, with stealing girlfriends also comes a lot of angry boyfriends. And Potter over there, he looks exactly like all the angry boyfriends I’ve dealt with, who want to beat the shit out of me.”

“Which makes no sense, because he doesn’t act like a boyfriend whenever we’re together. It’s not fucking fair. He doesn’t want me, but it’s like he doesn’t want anyone else to have me either.”

“Listen to me. I may not know what the fuck is going on with you two, but it’s pretty clear to anyone that you guys both have feelings for each other. So, as your date, I think it's my duty to end ours early. We both achieved our goals- all the girls in the room want me, and Potter can’t take his eyes off of you.”

You release a shaky sigh, “Okay, fine.”

As the song ends he releases you and gives you a wink, “Well, for now, this is goodbye. Since I’m sure you’ll be Potter’s girlfriend by the end of the night, I imagine we are going to be mortal enemies from now on. Or until graduation at least.”

You chuckle a little as you straighten his tie one last time.

“Go get him,” he says.

You stand up on your tip toes and kiss him on the cheek, “Bye Diggory. Next time I speak to you, you better be settled down with a nice girl, at 9 ¾, with your rowdy kids for their first year of school.”

He laughs and you part ways for the night. Before you allow yourself to approach James, you walk outside to the courtyard nearby. You lean up against the railing and look out towards the stars. The cool breeze fills your lungs and is comfortable against your hot skin. It’s silent except for the soft notes of music drifting out from the Great Hall.

“So, you and Diggory huh?”

You jump at James’ voice and turn to him, “Yep, and you and the invisible girl. I thought you were Mr. Hotshot, with plenty of girls lined up as possible dates?”

“And I thought Hufflepuffs were supposed to be loyal.”

You scoff, “It wasn’t personal, James. Just a silly little date to a silly little formal.”

“Bullshit” he yells, “You were mad so you went and found a date that you knew I would hate!”

“God, you are so conceited! Not everything is about you. Maybe I just liked Amos’ company. He’s not all that bad, you know.”

“Oh, so now you’re defending him? Next thing I know there’ll be wedding bells.”

“Maybe there will be. He’s funny, attractive, and actually gives me the time of day!” you retort.

“Just so he can get you into his bed, fuck you, and then ignore you after,” James shouts back.

You stare at each other in silence for a moment.

“I mean, Merlin, is that really what you want? I know it's not my place to give my opinion about who you date or-”

“And that’s the whole problem,” you interrupt.

“What?”

“James, you're my best friend. I want your opinion about these things- even if I don’t always want to hear it. It at least shows you care about me. Lately, it’s like I don’t even exist.”

“I know, I know and I’m sorry. You deserve better. A better friend and…” he steps a little closer, “a better romantic interest?”

You let out a small laugh, “romantic interest?”

“What? If this night has shown me anything, I clearly don’t know what- or who- you’re looking for in romance. And that’s on me. But I want that to change from now on.”

You take a deep breath and step even closer to him. You look up into his hazel eyes, your faces so close your noses are almost touching.

“Well, in the name of change, I guess I have to confess, I do have a romantic interest… in you.”

“And as a part of my duties as your best friend, I believe it my responsibility to tell you that… you should go for it.”

Already so close together, you merely stand on your tip toes and lock lips with James. He kisses back and puts his hands around your waist. For a second, he pulls away.

You look up at him with questioning eyes.

His grip on your waist tightens, “I don’t ever want another man’s hands here ever again. It was driving me crazy tonight, the way Amos was touching you.”

You smirk at him, “Jealous are we?”

He grunts in affirmation and pulls you in again. The kiss lasts a few minutes with you up against the railing. At first it’s fast and passionate. But with time it becomes slower and more sweet. More loving.

Eventually, you slowly pull apart. You look at him softly and ask breathlessly, “So, do you have a date to the formal yet?”

[bettysupremacy]

can u do something w james potter? a transfer student from america comes to hogwarts and he’s all love at first sight😭❤️do anything u want w it :)

Short n sweet but a good way to get back into writing<3

Your new friends are splayed in the room in front of you. Sirius is sprawled over Remus on the couch, watching him, very lackluster, doing his homework. Mary and Lily are squished into an armchair across from you and James, tangled limbs and giggles as Marlene lay on the rug in front of the fire with Dorcus, tired after supper feast.

The Scottish highlands were a drastic difference from the America you knew. The shops, the people, the boys. Everything seemed so hard to squeeze into. Your accent pushed you away from the people, and your culture pushed you away from fitting in. But they helped. The silly band of tired teens in front of you never once let you stand outside the circle of friendship they’d had formed years before your arrival.

“I could take you to hogsmeade? You know, to look around.” James looks up at you from where he leans against your arm. You sit higher than him, leg draped across his own. It makes his skin tingle.

He’s been a nonstop stream of words ever since supper, only pausing to stuff dining hall food into his mouth. He swears he doesn’t know what he’s going to do when he graduates, the dining haul being a necessary location in his schoolboy life.

He adds factually. “You know they actually have-“

“James,” Sirius snaps, a rubber band stretched too far. “Please.”

“What?”

Sirius only sighs. He doesn’t mean to be cruel to his closest friend.

James’ eyes flit around the room self consciously. All of his friends stare. Very unimpressed.

“What?” He repeats again, a little more desperate, a little more whiny.

“James,” Remus says gently. “Let her breathe.”

James looks to you suddenly, flames coloring his cheeks in the hue of orange light flickering off the grand fire.

It’s apparent James is embarrassed. His silence works its way into the cracks between Mary and Lily, the lulls in conversation between Remus and Sirius, until it becomes too much to handle. Sirius feels bad, he really does, but the way Remus shakes his head disappointedly fills him with something stubborn.

The vibe of the room is ruined subsequently. The boys go up to the dorm, Mary and Lily slip into their own room, shared kisses following, and you find the tangle of girls In front of the fire asleep, Marls arm tugging Dorcas closer.

“It’s okay,” you rush once everyone’s gone. “Hogsmeade sounds fun.”

“Are you sure?” James is insecure, quiet now, away from his friends ears.

You nod adamantly. “We didn’t have anything fun at Ilvermorny.”

He’s out of it now, heated in the face and embarrassed. He doesn’t mean to turn himself away from you, but his friends gnaw at him. They were well-meaning, but that doesn’t stop the green rumble of insecurity coursing through his body. He feels it so intensely he fears he may need to slip upstairs and go to sleep.

“Hey,” You murmur quietly searching for his eyes. When he gives them to you, you look up at the flushed boy through your eyebrows. “Just you and me?”

He stutters for the first time since he met you. “Yeah- uh, yeah, just me and you, sounds cool.”

You nod, leaning over to kiss the side of his mouth sweetly. He reels.

“Don’t be embarrassed.” You whisper, slipping out of the armchair.

“I’m not.” He insists.

You smile, squeezing his arm. “I know.”

He watches you walk up to your dormitory, a hunger in his eyes and a part in his lips.

“We’re not asleep.” Marlene grins. Dorcas snores and Marls opens her eyes. “Well, maybe she is.”

James flinches harshly. “Oh, fuck off.”

[ma1dita]

this will be our year

this was a request! find it here

words: 2.5k

summary: james does his best to plan reader's birthday! it's not as easy as you think

warnings: james is a leader not a planner, fluff!! bestfriend!james returns mwahaha

a/n: so sorry for this being literally two weeks after your birthday anon! life was kicking my ass but i hope you enjoy! writing many characters is something im trying to learn to make more organic

(posted and edited too many times to count 11/6/23)

—

There are a few things in life that James likes to think he’s very good at: making plans, pulling pranks, playing quidditch, and doing absolutely anything he can to make you smile. At first, he would laugh it off when his friends would say you two had something special. He is a gentleman, after all. James is the type of friend any of the girls would trust with a secret, or the one to borrow hair potion from when you’re in a pinch.

He loves to join in the gossip and crash your sleepovers when the boys are being ‘dreadfully boring’ (his words, not yours). He holds your bag when you walk to class (only yours, he’ll push Marlene’s books to the ground and run off laughing), bribes Peter with an extra helping of bacon to move his butt out of ‘your seat’ (whichever one was to the right of him) at breakfast, and definitely writes to his mom asking about what to get you for your birthday (and how much he’s been wanting to ask you out for almost about three years now).

Right... James is a great friend, so when you get all excited about your birthday, gushing about how you want to celebrate this year, he takes one look at the excitement on your face and hatches the perfect plan. Or so he thinks.

“I just can’t wait to celebrate with you guys, and not have to worry about exams, or projects, or boys, or curfew…” you muse, laying across Mary and Remus’s laps as everyone’s gathered in the common room. Sirius, and Peter are chasing each other with throw pillows while Dorcas and Lily share headphones on the other sofa. James beelines towards you, crawling across the open space.

“Boys? What boys have been worrying you, dove?” he says snidely, sneaking towards the space near your belly, looking up at your relaxed figure.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Mary giggles, and Remus huffs back laughter as he pats your head. James peers up at you as you smile knowingly.

“It’s a secret.” you smile, reaching out to poke his chin.

“You keep secrets from me now? From your most good-looking, bestest friend ever that plans the coolest awesomest birthday parties for you?”

Well, he did have a point. Ever since he accidentally flung you into the Black Lake third year in a prank meant for Snape, he’s almost always waited on you hand and foot. He had to, for your immediate response to laugh and flip him into the lake ‘qualified’ you as a Marauder (plus he thought you were really pretty—he swore he stopped crushing on Lily the next day.) And every birthday since has been bigger and better. Fourth year was the movie marathon out on the quidditch pitch; Fifth year was the picnic out next to Black Lake, and now you couldn’t wait to see what he has planned.

You look at the boy thoughtfully, smiling down at him and he swears it’s his favorite sight in the world.

“You don’t always have to know everything, Prongs…”

He chases after your hand with his mouth, trying to chomp one of your fingers. Idiot.

“Of course I do, or else no birthday party for you!” he jokes, and you giggle at the notion. He wouldn’t dare. He loves to celebrate you. Maybe this will be the year he asks you out… Is that cheesy? Or lame? James sighs, fussing with a string on his sweater, suddenly silent amongst the chaos of his lively friends. He’s got a lot of work to do.

—

The next week was filled with James’ hasty preparations and all of your friends were put up to the task of making his vision come together. Remus and Peter would get the booze, Mary and Alice would bake the sweet treats, Sirius and Lily were working on decorations, and Marlene and Dorcas were busy enchanting a record player to amplify through the party space James would get ready in the Room of Requirement. He’s been a little high-strung, overcalculating his endless to-do list to impress you.

All of them have been so…busy, and it was a bit lonely. You thought they might plan something with you, or for you, but you haven’t seen much of them in the past few days. Every bump in the corridor or spotting in the common room was a flurry of hushed whispers and giggles at jokes that flew over your head. Even dinner with them has been oddly silent, like watching a film but not being able to penetrate the scene that unfolds.

Peering down at the map one day after class, you see your friends’ names flitting around the map, all of them hanging out together, but not with you. That is, until a big hand nabs the parchment from your grasp.

“Hey!” “Sorry doll, need it for something important.” Sirius grins, pulling Lily along as they walk off briskly.

“Do you guys want to study later?” You call out after them, and they keep on walking, hands in their cloaks. Weird.

Many more of your requests have been denied. It’s a fickle thing, to suddenly feel unwanted in your group of friends. As a Marauder, you’ve earned your place there. But if Remus and Peter didn’t want to sneak out for a midnight snack, and Alice and Mary went shopping already, without you… Marlene and Dorcas were nowhere to be found.

That means you only had your favorite person to badger… James. You drag him into a broom closet after Muggle Studies one day, crossing your arms and looking up at him with frustration.

“Jeez, love, you’re stronger than you look!” He says sheepishly, hands landing on your waist.

“What are you all up to? Where have you been?” The pout on your face makes his knees weak, and it’d be so easy to just tell you….

No…He thinks, hardening his resolve as his thumb reaches out to smooth the crease in your forehead.

“Prongs,” you whine, poking his chest. The dim yellow lightbulb swings overhead, almost clobbering him in the skull.

“Why, you miss me that much?” He grins, prodding at your cheek. It’s cramped in here enough, and he hunches over your frame, unable to stop his smile at the look on your face.

“Yeah. I miss all of my friends. I sound like Moaning Myrtle whining after you lot! I wanna be involved in whatever you all are doing…” Delicate hands pull at the drawstrings of his hoodie and he feels like his chest tightens too.

“Hey, we haven’t forgotten you, so don’t worry, pretty girl. Your birthday’s coming up, right? You excited for that?” James’ thumb rubs at your cheek and he really wonders if, in any other instance, this could be platonic. Surely, you must like him too, right? Everything he does is to make you smile. He feels like he’s in a one-man show trying to embellish himself for your attention, and he’s waiting for the applause. Your hand grabs his as you lean into his touch.

“Got anything special planned?” You ask teasingly, and James can feel the warmth of your smile in his palm.

“For you? Of course.” He squeezes your cheek and you rip away from him, laughing. As you walk out of the closet, your shoulders bump as he wraps an arm around you.

“Don’t worry too much, dove. It’ll all work out,” he says, glad that you’re smiling again. “Wouldn’t let you have a terrible birthday. Never in a million years.”

“Exactly. What type of best friend would you be?” You smirk, walking off to your next class.

The thing is, he hopes you won’t be best friends by the end of it though. James huffs as he puts his hands in his pockets, walking in the opposite direction. This will be the year…. And it’s unsure if it’s a promise to himself or to you.

—

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Marauder plan of action without some mayhem. James had taken it upon himself to organize his big list of to-dos, assign jobs, and make sure everything was set up for your birthday. The Room of Requirement was decked out in enchanted sparklers, a huge cake was adorned by a spotlight in the corner of the room, and all your friends were there to celebrate you. Mary’s putting the final touches on the gift pile before she looks to Sirius and Peter, who are horsing around the room running through the balloons.

“Something’s missing,” she remarks, and the others scamper around to figure out what it is. Lily double checks the sound system for your favorite songs, Marlene makes sure the drinks are flowing and at the table set up in the back. Dorcas whacks Peter and Sirius to stop popping the balloons, and Remus, the smart one, turns on his heel to stomp towards James, who is looking like he could implode from stress at any given moment.

“Prongs…” Remus muses, unsure if he should laugh, or wring his neck.

“What did I forget?” he says sheepishly, looking down at his watch. A balloon pops.

“Did you invite the birthday girl?” Oh shit.

“HAH—Moony, you’re not supposed to be the funny one here, of course I….” his eyes fall down to his scroll of to-dos, looking at the only thing unmarked on his list.

• Get her to come to the best birthday celebration ever.

“I forgot to tell her, didn’t I…”

Right. James might’ve glossed over that one. His nervous laughter shrivels at the sight of his friends’ faces of disbelief as they bombard him with questions and profanities and so, he bolts out of there, trying to find you on the map.

—

Surprisingly, James finds you in the kitchen, sitting infront of a lone cupcake and the house elves singing you the worst rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ there ever was to magical folk. What should be his plan of action? Acting nonchalant, or owning up to his flub? All of his thoughts go out the window when he sees your despondent sigh at the lit candle, thinking your friends have forgotten his absolute favorite day of the entire year.

“Pretty girl, why are you so sad?” he says, rushing to meet you at the table. You’re pulling at your sleeves and looking at the cupcake in disappointment.

“Did you all forget about me?” you ask, bottom lip trembling at the notion. James shakes his head rapidly, so much so that his glasses are skewed as he looks at you.

“How could we forget the best birthday girl?”

“I’m the only birthday girl, and I haven’t seen any of you today. You didn’t even eat dinner with me,” you pout. Your huff of a sigh blows out the sad little candle, and it almost makes you want to crumple up in embarrassment. Your finger reaches out to sample some of the icing, and you bring it to your mouth, James following the movement with his eyes.

“I’m sorry dove. I might’ve messed up for this one,” he mutters, hating to see you upset.

“If you forgot to plan anything, it’s okay…. You’re not obligated to.” Your head falls to the slope of your shoulder, looking bashful at the idea of being celebrated. But James hasn’t gone all this way to see you unhappy.

“That’s the funny thing about it, erm…. I need you to come with me.” He pulls at your arm, but you won’t budge. How mortifying to conceptualize how you feel in this moment, feeling smaller than ever. A birthday is just a day, after all. Maybe they can make it up to you tomorrow.

“I dunno Prongs, I think I should just go to bed and wake up with a better attitude, yeah? It’s really oka–HEY!” James lifts you out of your chair and throws you over his shoulder, securing you to him before he bolts out of the kitchens. Your vision is blurred and all you can see is the massive muscles rippling down his back as he runs. His bum is quite nice too.

“James Potter, what in Merlin’s name do you think you’re doing? Put me down this instant or I’ll hex you into next week!” You screech, before he puts a silencing charm on you to not alert Filch of your antics. You reach out to hit his buttock as he exclaims, “Ow! Cheeky…. I promise you’ll like this, dove. You really thought we’d forget your birthday?”

There comes a point when he paces back and forth in front of the same stretch of wall and you think he’s insane, talking to himself and turning in circles. After the third lap, he sets you down, your arms crossed and quite stern at the trip he’s taken you on. James smooths your hair down before he looks you in the eyes, standing a bit closer than a friend would, but Godric is he excited to show you his work.

“Ahem. Do you really think I’d forget your big day, pretty girl? It’s my favorite day of the year!” He smiles and you shake your head with a smile. He nudges the door open to reveal all your friends, yelling “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

Still inaudible, your mouth is gaping wide in shock, silent laughter escaping your mouth. Marlene and Dorcas carry the cake over to you before they sing in all sorts of tunes, none of them on key and possibly worse than the house elves. The light of the candles caresses the warmth in your cheeks as you look at your friends in wonder. You mumble something like a ‘thank you’ but they can’t comprehend it until Remus undoes the charm, whacking James across the head.

—

Later, James sneaks behind you, throwing an arm around your waist, whispering ‘Happy birthday’ for the millionth time, but he’ll never get tired of telling you how much he cares.

“Are you happy, birthday girl?” he smiles, and you get on your tiptoes to give him a kiss that lands on the corner of his mouth. The applause is back, thundering in his ears before he realizes it’s the sound of his heart when you’re near.

Yeah, this will be the year everything changes. His plans are racking up into a list in his brain as you gaze at him all starry-eyed and smiley. Your friends are all looking at you knowingly, and he can’t wait to get to work, for there is just so much to do.

—

“In case you foolishly forget: I am never not thinking of you.” - Virginia Woolf

taglist: @jsjcue

love me some tunes! i listened to this while writing: this will be our year by lowland hum

[asmo-d3us]

Marauders Era characters as parents

James Potter-Black:

The type of dad that insists on picking you up from school yet always manages to embarrass himself somehow

You love him of course but you always call Regulus and ask him to come after you instead

Is not the type of father to take your phone away or ground you but when he does, all you have to do is pout, sniff, stomp to your room, shut the door closed and stay in there

He starts sobbing on call with Regulus (who’s at work btw), and Regulus tells him to stay strong but he just can’t and he gives you everything you want because he feels bad

Sirius Lupin:

You love him so much bc you can literally talk bad about everyone with him

“Hey dad, did you hear when aunt Dorcas said-“ *slams on the breaks* “STOP BC I HEARD HER SAY THAT TOO!!!”

You can hop in the car from school and start talking bad about some bitch you hate and he would dramatically gasp, grip onto your arm, slam on the breaks, squeal, etc.

He lowkey doesn’t care about taking your electronics away, and he doesn’t think grounding you helps at all, if anything it makes you more rebellious.

Not strict at all. Will let you go out anywhere at anytime unless it’s after 11:00 pm

Remus Lupin:

Whenever you mention your future, getting married, having kids, etc. he will always sigh and shake his head and start spouting some smart shit: “Don’t think about that, you’re still young.”

He always smiles when he hears you and Sirius talking shit together because the sight of you both bonding sends him over the moon

He sometimes takes your phone away only if you talk back to him or Sirius, or if you don’t do what you were supposed to. (Like your homework or something)

Grounds you very rarely, usually when you leave without saying a word. You always tell him that Sirius allows you to go out but Remus always says that you must ask.

Peter Pettigrew:

Nobody loved him enough to start a family with him.

Lily Macdonald-Evans:

You sometimes need a break from her because it seems like she always tells everyone everything about you that you don’t want anyone else to know about

She always apologizes after and says she called Mary but you know she was talking to uncle Remus or uncle Regulus

She takes your phone a lot. You’re always on your phone bc you don’t trust her anymore to talk to her, and she takes it away so you can just pay attention to her but you struggle a lot and it always ends in a fight. She doesn’t blame you though, she blames herself and her big mouth. (I love her so much don’t attack me)

Grounds you only when you do something illegal. She gives you full freedom, she hates grounding.

Mary Macdonald-Evans:

You might be on tiktok or something and she’ll see a video and say: “Ah yes, I remember back when I was a kid and met Batman-“

Picks you up from school, sees a group of kids jumping a nerd and says: “Hah, reminds me of when uncle barty and Evan beat the shit out of me at school!-“

Really does not care about taking your phone away or whatever, she doesn’t believe that the phone is a bad influence.

She grounds you but doesn’t feel any guilt about it because she knows you don’t go out a lot and she can tell it’s not really a punishment for you.



Marlene Meadows-Mckinnon:

She’s so weird but you love her.

Whenever she sees your friends she’ll just stand there and laugh, shake their hands, stare at them with a motherly smile, and walk away.

She didn’t even know you have a phone?? I swear the only parent here that actually cares about any of that is Dorcas, and even then it’s not that extreme.

She sometimes says “you’re grounded” when she’s angry but then like 2 hours later if you tell her you’re going out with a friend she’ll smile and nod at you.

Dorcas Meadows:

You’ll always catch her sketching or drawing.

She gives you fresh tattoos when you turn 18 because she has this thing where it makes her feel like she ‘marked’ you and now everyone knows you’re her child and it’s her signature?? Not in a weird or possessive way it’s just her inner slytherin-

She takes your phone away frequently because you’re a very rebellious child and taking your phone away calms you down. She also takes it away when she notices that you’re not going out-doors much.

You’re very artistic like her which she likes. She loves seeing your new drawings in your sketch book because it reminds her of when she was your age.

Grounds you if you don’t do your homework or don’t clean your room or smth. She’ll never ground you for no reason. (If you clean your room under 20 minutes/if you finish your homework under 20 minutes, she’ll let you slide.)

Regulus Potter-Black:

Very strict with you and it causes a strain between you two, and James always tells you that it’s because of his family and how he was raised so you understand, it’s just hard for you.

If you’re going out after 5? Grounded. If you’re eating sweets after 6? Your phone is taken away. If you’re not doing your chores? Grounded. It makes you really upset and angry and Regulus feels like shit about it, it’s just how he was raised and it’s hard to let it go. (Spoiler alert: over time it goes away.)

Always sobs to James about it and James says that one day you’ll understand. He really tries to help regulus and explains everything to you which helps the both of you change him for the better.

Is terrified he’ll abuse you someday, just like his parents.

Barty Rosier:

The chillest fucking dad in the world.

Lets you cuss at 15, lets you drink at 16, lets you smoke at 17, lets you drive at 15, lets you murder at 18.

Lets you go out, lets you bring friends over, lets you have sleepovers, etc. Will literally offer you and your friends snacks, will showcase his love for Evan in front of your friends and they start giggling (you roll your eyes every time).

You’re the fun cousin. Every single cousin/sibling fucking loves you.

Doesn’t take your phone away and instead encourages you (he knows you go outside enough, if anything you need to be inside more.), sometimes grounds you just so you stay at home a little and use your electronics.

Not a very emotional father (unlike Evan sometimes) so there’s not a lot of ‘I love you’ but he’ll always hug you or ‘gift’ you something to show it.

I could go on and on—

Evan Rosier:

Also the best fucking dad in the world. (I’d like to add that you call barty dad and evan papa.)

The exact same as barty except he flirts with your friends instead of offering snacks because he is a snack himself and your friends are all in love with him and they fucking devour it like fanfiction smut when they see him and barty flirt. (You vomit!)

Doesn’t take your phone away, just like his husband he encourages you to use it more. He sometimes calls you and tells you to come home. Not only for your safety but also because you need to breathe home air a bit. Grounds you for the same reason as barty too.

You can talk to him about everything, just like uncle Sirius. You had sex underage? He’ll probably look at you with a scolding glare before smiling to himself with a shake of his head and making sure to tell barty about it. You fought a bitch? He’d raise a brow, try to hide his smile, scold you, but it’d end with both of you laughing. You did w33d/m@rijuana underage? He’d shake his head with a smirk and tells you to follow him to a room?-

Always lectures his husband when you turn 18 and he’s about to take you out for your first murder because he’s worried you guys will be caught.

Arguably the best fucking parents ever bc it’s obvious they give a shit they just also give you unlimited freedom that comes with consequences if you do something genuinely stupid

Pandora Lovegood:

Hippie mom. That’s all.

Encourages you going out with friends, encourages you wanting to spend time with nature, encourages you taking your younger sister Luna with you everywhere you go!

You’re a hippie just like her. That’s all.

She gives you her crystals, her jewelry with good energy and jewelry that will protect you, etc.

Doesn’t take your phone away because you literally most likely don’t even have one. Second, she never grounds you because she loves seeing you outside walking around with 5 deers, 20 birds, 3 horses, 7 mice, and 10 snakes/lizards following you around like you’re Snow White.

[allamericanb-tch]

crimson rivers thoughts (11)

@tastetherainbow290 this was genuinely terrifying

chapter 24

regulus telling james about his tantrum throwing away all the supplies he really is just like me

“what? Sorry, what? I mean—what?” 😭

“in the interest of conserving water, we could have a long, hot shower together” james you desperate lovesick fool

“if there's anyone I'm sleeping with when I get back, it's absolutely Sirius” i love their friendship

jegulus is jegulusing

"You know that other life? The one where we could have been happy together? Where we're not a great, big tragedy?” agghhh why is that so sad

regulus i love you

why am i gonna cry right now

regulus describing the life him and james will never get to have together

“Just holding on because we can, because there's some other life out there where we can't, where we don't, where we're a great, big tragedy—and we're so thankful it's not that one” TEARS

“Regulus said James was his first love, didn't he? James would give anything to be his last.” don’t worry james you will be ❤️‍🩹

is regulus dreaming rn

this is a sad nightmare

poor regulus omg. he feels so guilty for evan’s death and i feel so bad it’s not your fault reggie

they’re holding hands but in a sad way

oh no a scream

what has happened

oh! more spiders!

what is james doing 😭

“It's always you're so stupid, James; it's never you looked so sexy and heroic while saving everyone from the murderous spider, James.” james now is not the time for jokes. even though you are HILARIOUS 

PETER NO

another betrayal are we surprised (yes)

pete 💔

bernice pulling the baby card you are not peeta don’t even

rat 🐀 

peter noooo i am sad to see you go

yayyyy reg and james won

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

NO?!?!!

slughorn how could you

“you’re hesitating love” 

JAMES NO

i can’t end like this but i have to leave in 10 minutes

chapter 25

reading as much as i can before i have to go

“Maybe James is just in love, and he wants anything he can get from Regulus, even if it's literal death.”

“because i love you” i am going to CRY

remus pov switch

poor sirius ☹️ i know james and regulus both make bc. duh. but i am so sad for them bc THEY don’t know that.

the trojan war 💔

if regulus is troy does that make james gabriella

“ I hate you, he says. I love you, he means. I love you, he feels. I hate you, he knows.”

they’re kissing

regulus handcuffing james

what is he thinking

“you chose me and now im choosing you”

regulus i swear.

“He's drowning in his regrets before he ever hits the water.”

THE RIVER IS BLOOD?!

I HAVE TO LEAVE AHHHHHH

sirius pov switch

james pov switch?!

james don’t lose your arm please

JAMES?! hes so real honestly.

this is so romeo and juliet of them

THEY BOTH WIN!!! i knew it would happen but still the excitement is there

horace pov jump scare

“He wonders if James realized in his endeavor to save himself and Regulus, he would be condemning someone else.” ????????????

dorcas!!!!!!!!

where are they going 😧

*singing* my reputation’s never been worse so 

azkaban mention 

i’m intrigued by this plot line

grindelwald mention?!

there’s a baby in the car next to me who is SO CUTE (dw there’s other people in the car)

A DIVERGENCE?! should i read that fic too…

[knockoff-conlon]

modern dorlene hcs!!

Marlene:

loud. always. she said it kept her brain at bay. she liked to yell and shout and draw attention to herself.

blonde hair that gets fucking everywhere. everywhere at all times. catches on things, too, like dorcas' rings.

really bright brown eyes.

fastest runner in her elementary school and high school. VERY fast.

tall. 6'2

smart but she doesn't apply herself as a way of rebellion against her family.

neglectful, abusive family that she runs away from when she's fifteen.

her phone background is actually a picture of her and remus, not her and dorcas

closest with remus out of anyone. lived with him when she ran away. they were extremely codependent and didn't have an boundaries. james and dorcas accepted that they were a package deal

90s grungey style. a lot of flannel, ripped clothing, leather, patches.

violent. it was an unfortunate habit from her family. she would get very angry very fast and it transferred to violence, though she tried to never hit her friends and she NEVER hit dorcas.

had a running bet with remus over who would get their braces off first when they were thirteen. (she lost but says she won)

lots of tattoos. one of those people who didn't really have meaning for said tattoos. she just likes the look.

tons of piercings- about eight or nine in each ear, eyebrow, tongue, septum, nose.

musical lover. hope lupin introduced her to all her favorite musicals.

has dorcas saved in her phone as 'side-ho #1'. dorcas knows and loves it.

swears a lot. the marauders, valkyries + dorcas made a swear jar to stop her swearing so much.

jewish convert, conservative jew.

got with dorcas when she was eighteen. once they did get together, they were very close and very in love.

touchy with remus and dorcas. not with anyone else.

designer fr tho. she makes her own clothes and makes her friends' clothes, too.

smokes + she has a lighter with a dumb design on it from remus.

steals remus' clothes 24/7.

looms over people menacingly.

very severe adhd. has a habit of being distracting as shit, forgetting to eat, a hatred for certain sounds and feelings, and hates overhead lighting.

candles. all the candles.

knows how to shoot a gun and often does go to a shooting range.

part spanish and french, speaks both languages.

dyslexic.

will eat anything someone puts in front of her. from nachos to fajitas to escargot- she'll eat it all.

really strong. can lift about 450

trust issues.

hockey player.

multiple concussions.

partially deaf due to repeated head trauma from said concussions and abuse from her parents.

Dorcas

she's tiny, literally 5'0 on the dot and so she makes evan and marlene get her things on tall shelves.

gets really anxious sometimes and bites her nails because of it. pandora does complicated nail art on her nails so she feels bad biting them.

flexible as shit.

very feminine, which makes people assume she's straight.

makes her own jewelry and creates a small business of it at her high school. she makes a small fortune off her earrings.

big on romance movies, cries at them. loves horror movies, too, doesn't flinch.

resting bitch face, 100%

lives in a trailer with her dad. mom ran away when she was, like, two months old.

can play bass.

eyes so dark they're almost black.

has a tattoo on her wrist for her dad. it says 'i love you' but in his handwriting.

marlene left her hockey jersey at dorcas' place one day and now dorcas wears it to sleep.

loves to take pictures, has a lot of really embarrassing, weird photos of her friends, family, and marlene.

really good at baking, can back anything. god awful at cooking.

plant mom

fairy lights everywhere in her room.

at one point sold weed to help with the money at her place. now she does it for some extra money.

HUGE activist. got into a lot of trouble at school for it but then barty would be louder and more violent about her getting in trouble and cause a riot.

cold, all the time, no matter what.

big reader, bonded with regulus, lily, and remus over it.

atheist number one but will go to shul with marlene if she asks, specifically the high holidays.

farmer's markets, vintage festivals, and art stores are where she spends all of her money.

loves to paint but there's not enough room in her trailer so she paints outside while her dad reads beside her.

pineapple pizza is one of her favorite foods.

barty, evan, and dorcas hang out together and dye their hair with each other. regulus and pandora do not participate and hang out together elsewhere.

is super, super close with her dad and she tells him everything.

steals barty's clothing because she likes his style and men's clothing is more comfortable.

draws on her converse and marlene's leather jacket.

worships minerva mcgonagall. the art teacher.

scared of flying.

gave herself a lot of her own piercings.

Dorlene:

they have 'design dates' where marlene sits and makes clothes, and dorcas works on her jewelry/works on new art.

nauseatingly affectionate sometimes.

that one picture with the girl straddling the other one and doing her makeup. that's them.

flat is always super loud- marlene playing music and them dancing, working on their university assignments and their work.

marlene spends a lot of nights at dorcas' trailer and becomes best friends with her dad because of it.

marlene does bring donuts or coffee for them all the time.

shit talk people but in sign language.

dorcas comforts marlene during nightmares and marlene comforts dorcas during anxiety attacks.

never explained they were dating to their friends, one day just kissed goodbye and everyone just went with it.

marlene picks her up and carries her places (the doctor, cause dorcas is scared of the doctor and refuses to go)

dorcas bakes marlene cookies and muffins when she's sick.

dorcas cheers marlene on at all her hockey games, even though she finds hockey dumb.

dorcas takes marlene to vintage stores and markets and marlene always ends up carrying whatever dorcas buys.

marlene takes dorcas to shul with her on the high holidays and makes snide commentary about the people at her shul. dorcas tries learning hebrew to at least be able to follow along. doesn't work super well but marlene appreciates it anyway.

take turns deciding what movie go watch together. marlene likes action/adventure and dorcas loves a dorky romance movie.

marlene takes dorcas to italy to visit marlene's older brother. make solid plans to move there one day/honeymoon there.

road trip together with them and their friends.

can definitely do the dirty dancing lift.

had picnics on the balcony at their flat all the time. marlene used her candles to make it more atmospheric and dorcas' plants also helped.

kinda broke until marlene's fashion and designs hit it big.

femme x butch, fr tho.

dorcas used petnames all the time. marlene always got flustered and dropped what she was holding.

marlene learned how to style dorcas' hair, how to do braids and stuff like that so she could do dorcas' hair.

very in love, cutest couple ever, and kind of losers with each other.

[ravenoclock]

@labyrinthhofmymind

A continuation of updates abt presque vu. Spoilers included. Italics are quotes from the fic itself. I apologize for not updating for a few days, I’ve been a bit busy.

CHAPTER NINE

Sirius is such a girlboss I swear. Androgynous royalty. Him being saying how they love confusion sm and making people confused like GET IT, LOVE. Also James being so supportive and being like ‘is it comfortable and how does it feel, etc’ is so cute. Love them.

The emmary :( idk what’s going on there but I feel so bad for them.

Oh, Remus, please like my knickers, please don't turn them into a joke, please like everything about me, even the things you don't understand, even the things you don't know, even the things I don't either. This is what I am. Please take me as I am.

GAHHHHH.

Also Remus being like ‘I’ll like u in whatever u wear’ is so wholesome.

MARLENE AND SIRIUS’ FRIENDSHIP. BONDING. OVER. A. MOTORBIKE. THATS SO THEM.

"Pretty sure she knows I'm fucking Dorcas," Marlene says, gaze fixed on the wrench. "She hates it. Can you believe that? I kill people and she looks the other way, but I love a woman and she hates me."

That’s rly fucked up. I hate that Marls has to go through stuff like that. Side note, I’m imagining Marlene with her hair short asf and I just died. MARLS THE WOMAN YOU ARE.

Also Peter…poor boy. Ik he chose to betray them and all that but Sirius saying how Peter used to be rly lively and shit and now he’s just… nothing.

SIRIUS MAKING REMUS BLUSH. HE BLUSHED. I SCREAMED.

Today, Sirius is as much a man as he is a woman, both simultaneously, with no words to describe why it's that way, or what it feels like.

Is it weird to say I’m proud of him? Like, a few chapters before she didn’t even know what she was feeling and now they’re more comfortable with it and they’re fine with it. Idk. I just love it.

To Sirius, control is secrecy.

…speechless.

"You're a vision," Sirius croaks, struck stupid by it, by him. "Do you have any idea how lovely you are?"

WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR. DHAJAJJSJSJSHSNDKELKWKAJ I CANT.

Sirius still thinking Remus deserves better and that he’s not good enough for Remus actually makes me want to die because THEYRE MADE FOR EACH OTHER. MOLDED FROM THE SAME CLAY. CUT FROM THE SAME CLOTH. IDC WHAT CORNY SHIT I HAVE TO SAY TO PROVE THAT THEY ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER AND ITS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THING AND I LOVE IT.

Someday, he will be silent more often than he is not. Someday, he will be unable to recall his mother's voice. Someday, he will only remember her scream.

FUCK OFF. WHYYYY.

It's unfortunate, really, that so few of them live long past the proof.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

moving on to….CHAPTER TEENNNNN

HARRY MY BABY IS HEREEEEE AND SIRIUS IS LIKE ‘hmm I kinda understand why my parents hated me now’ lmao? I guess? Idk if I’m supposed to laugh?

Sirius would scamper out of her bedroom and rub her eyes with her fists and, half-asleep with a tiny yawn, she would reach out for her mother's hand and offer to walk with her. She would ask, on the few and far between nights where her mother actually let her small hand slip into hers, if she could give Regulus a hug, or tell him hello. And, occasionally, with a long suffering sigh like it was the end of the world, Walburga would hold Sirius' hand for a beat, then let go, then let Sirius do it.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD.

"Merlin, your tears are contagious," Sirius informs Harry with a croaky whisper, not understanding why her eyes are suddenly streaming, why her chest feels like it's caving in.

;-; now I wanna cry. thx.

Harry, apparently, is chaos incarnate.

They love Harry so much they can't shut up about it.

THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY FAMILY. ALL LF THEM. LIKE THIS. FOREVER. COMPLAINING ABT HARRYS CHAOS AND BEING EXHAUSTED FROM TAKING CARE OF HIM, LATCHING ON TO EVERY LITTLE THING HE DID BECAUSE THEY DESERVED IT. FAMILY. THEY WERE EACH OTHERS FAMILY AND THEN THEY WERENT. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.

But that doesn't stop Sirius from wanting to hold Harry all the time. That doesn't stop her from begging Lily and James to let her come over so she can watch Harry breathe, which is a bit odd, but it's an impulse she can't resist. That doesn't stop her from wanting to feed Harry, or coo at him, or change his nappies and rock him to sleep and gasp in awe when he accidentally manages to grasp his own foot in his fist and fling his baby sock halfway across the room.

I CANT ENJOY THIS WHEN IK ITS A CANON COMPLIANT FIC.

All that is to say, Peter's awkward with Harry usually, unsure how to handle him, scared to hurt him. It's sweet and endearing, but his caution must read wrong to Harry, because he genuinely seems to throw a fit every time Peter tries to have anything to do with him. Maybe they need to bond. They haven't seemed to do that yet.

Harry knows…

Oh my god oh my god oh my god. SIRIUS WAKING UP REMUS CUZ EMMELINE IS HOLDING IS ARM IS HILARIOUS. REMUS BEING LIKE OH YEAH I LOVE YOY. SIRIUS BEING LIKE OH SHIT. WOLFSTAR MY LOVES.

Even lullabies can be lies sometimes.

So….whos paying for my therapy?

Oh my god. Lily laughing her ass off thinking Dumbledore’s lost his mind and James and Sirius being like ‘umm so who’s gonna tell her?’ And Remus agreeing with Lily but looking at Sirius and realizing she’s not fucking around. Sirius being like ‘it doesn’t fucking matter if you think the prophecy is bullshit, they won’t. they’ll come after your baby whether or not this prophecy is real.’ And Lily being like ‘oh shit you motherfucker now WHY would you say that?’

"She gets it now," James weeps, "and somehow that's worse."

Of course. There’s a saying I can’t quite remember for this kind of situation.

Zar’s metaphor for time and growing up… that’s my 10th life gone y’all.

Remus takes one look at him, and the fight doesn't even exist. They don't say they're sorry, and they don't talk about it anymore, and they simply let it fizzle into nothingness until all that's left is the way they hold each other.

…something tells me that’s kinda toxic. But wolfstar and communication don’t work rly well together. I wish they would just talk :(

It's the brightest part of Sirius' life, to be loved by that kid.

Christ on a Stick. I can’t do this today.

Later, Sirius will think about that tradition he heard about, the one that's almost a superstition, where you're not supposed to do anything strenuous or upsetting on New Years, or else you'll be stuck doing it all year following. It's meant for chores, usually, not for going without your best friend.

Jaw dropped. Tears cried. Screams scrumpt.

I feel a headache incoming so that’s all I’m reading for today. I finished chapter 10!!! Apparently there’s some time for me to prepare for what happens in 1981 so I’m very thankful for that but I don’t think I’ll ever be fully ready :( anywho sorry that it’s a bit shorter this time but yeah! those r my thoughts for chapters 9 & 10 of presque vu. Have a great day :)

[yourblankey]

Perfume or Liquor?

Pairing: platonic!Marauders x platonic!fem!Reader, Remus Lupin x fem!Reader

Genre: comedy, crack, idiocy, best friends, slight romance with remus, modern AU, young!marauders, a bit of bromance

Summary: Dorcas and Marlene gave Y/n the task of sorting out liquor and perfume, but she doesn't really know anything about perfumes so she goes to Sirius, during his live, and asks for his help.

WARNING: idiocy, swearing, taste-testing— DO NOT ATTEMPT AT HOME, and drinking liquor.

A/N: This is another re-write with a different title. It's always chaotic with the Marauders and I'm a sucker for Remus Lupin.

Sirius laughed at a comment made in his live's chat. "I know! James should really just fall in love with me— actually... He's better off with a broom. After all, he dances better with it."

Someone then bursts through the door. Sirius calmly turns around and sees Y/n walk in with a medium-sized box.

"Help me—" She stubs her toe. "Ah shit— Help me." She walks over to him casually and puts the box on the desk.

She looks at his phone to see a live going on. "Oh hello you lovely things..." She waves and smiles at them. The chat blows up, greeting and confessing their love to her.

"Yeah yeah what do you need help with?" Sirius asks in annoyance but in a jokingly way. "So Dorcas and Marlene handed me this box and said "Sort the perfumes and liquor out" and just left." He looks inside the box and takes a whiff. "Oh wow." He mutters, grabbing a bottle. She pulls a chair from the side and takes a seat next to him.

"So yeah... You're an expert at perfumes and I'm not so..." He looks at her. "Surely you can tell the difference between liquor and perfume." She scoffs. "I don't drink unlike you guys. So I wouldn't know."

Sirius shrugs and grabs a bottle. "Alright then... Let's get to work..." He opens the bottle and sniffs it. "Liquor." He grabs a box from underneath his desk and puts the bottle of liquor in there. "This is the liquor box, and that box you carried in will stay the perfume box."

Y/n grabs a bottle and sniffs it. "I think it's perfume..." Sirius grabs it and sniffs it. He looks unsure, so he dabs his finger in there and tastes it. "Nope. Liquor." She looks at him in bewilderment as he puts it in the liquor box.

They grab another bottle. The male does a quick sniff before saying, "Perfume." He puts it back in the box. "A good one."

Y/n sniffs one bottle. "Ooh! This one smells good!" Sirius takes the bottle and sniffs it. "Can I steal it? Are-Are we allowed to take it?" He asks, smirking slightly. "Ask Marlene." He winces jokingly and puts it back in the box.

The female looks at the live. "So! I hope I made this live less boring than it was before." Sirius looked at her with a dramatic, offended look. "It was not boring! Hey, remember when we pranked James into thinking this big broom was Lily?" She laughs and shakes her head in disbelief. "We tried telling him but it was amusing to see him kissing the straw." They both laugh.

Then, a tall male comes into the room. "Oh, what's with the bottles?" They turn to male, also known as Remus. "Just in time, sir." Y/n grabs the chocolate-scented perfume but Sirius also grabs it.

"I'm giving it to him."

"No way! I'm giving it to him."

"You're the one asking me for help."

"Yeah? I'm the one spicing up your live!"

Remus sighs and just grabs the perfume, brushing fingers with Y/n's fingers. She smugly looks at Sirius.

The tall male sniffs it and nods in affirmation. "I like it." He hands the perfume back to Y/n. "What's this for?" He asks, sitting on the bed.

The chat starts blowing up about Remus' looks and personality. Sirius scoffs. "Okay okay first Y/n and her fabulous hair, and now Remus and his long legs." Y/n shrugs. "Jealous?" He softly kicks her legs underneath the desk.

"Well to answer Remus' question; Dorcas and Marlene assigned Y/n to sort out liquor and perfume— which leads to another question; Why the bloody hell are they in nameless bottles?" Sirius asks no one in particular, then continues his speech.

"Of course, Y/n asked wonderful me. and here we are." Remus sighs. "Don't tell me you drank on live..." The two stay silent.

"You two...?" Y/n turns to him. "I didn't drink, but he took a dab." Sirius scoffs and playfully slaps her shoulder. "You better hope that the professors don't see this live."

Sirius had a bottle in hand and intentionally took a dab in front of Remus. "Oops." He said, making Remus rolls his eyes. "I'm close to giving up on these children..." He mutters out.

Then two more people enter the room; James and Peter. "Hello my fellow friends..." He plops down in between Sirius and Y/n while Peter sits in the bed by Remus.

"Whatcha guys doing?" James asks, looking at the bottles. "Just sorting perfume and liquor." Sirius said, grabbing a bottle.

He opened it but before he could even sniff it, James ripped the bottle out of his hand and took a swig of the bottle.

Everyone in that very room looked at James in shock and surprise. He clicks his tongue to try to get further into the taste before putting it back in the perfume box. "That's perfume." The four look at him in shocked silence.

"Respectfully, what the fuck, buddy."

"Why on earth would you do that?"

"What?! You guys did it!"

"I didn't take a dab or a swig or anything!"

"Yeah! And I took a dab to triple-check it was liquor! You straight up downed it!"

"I didn't down it!”

During the rest of the live, James helped Y/n and Sirius with the bottles without taking a swig. Just long sniffs and sighs.

Remus had to make sure James didn't drink anymore perfume OR liquor. Peter was there by Y/n's side, silently helping her as well.

James then breathes out on his hand and sniff it. "My breath smells like strawberries!" He went to Y/n, who gently pushed his head away to Sirius, who took a quick sniff of his breath. "Yeah, it does."

He smiles, suddenly going into a lover-boy state. "Do you think Lily might like it?" They stay silent for a moment. "Um... sure. I'm pretty sure she likes strawberries..." He pats Sirius' shoulders and stands up. "I'll take her breath away while she takes away mine— and mine smells good!"

He runs out of the room in excitement. The four stay silent, sharing the same exact thought. "She's won't even want to be a feet close to him."

[hxlda-hxlda]

Okay so I have just finished reading the last chapter that u just uploaded and if u dont mind im gonna rant about It .

First of all Remus and Sirius being paired Up was soo unexpected but im totally here for It . And the pure silence is seriously making me suffer I totally understand why Sirius was being dramatic cause i cant handle awkward silence , It will be the death of me i swear.

Secondly I loved the dorcas and Sirius interactions , well the whole slytherin skittles dynamic tbh .

And the way that Sirius and James hate each other more than Remus and Sirius ...

Thats soo weird and different but for some reason I really like It and am pretty interested in seeing more interactions between them .

Welpp thats all , to lazy to write more .

THANKS FOR THE UPDATE

Cant wait for the next one

thanks for reading dearest!!!!! i do not mind at ALL nothing is more fun than ppl talking to me abt my own self-induced brainrot, so rant away (as i’m now going to)!!!!!

it’s shocking to me it was a surprising turn of events. but then again it was one of the first things i KNEW was going to happen in this fic when i came up with the idea over two months ago, so it’s been rattling around my brain for a while. a lot of this fic is going to be based around those prefect rounds, which i am so thrilled to have play out.

and YES, the awkward looks and silences are everything to me!!! for me high school drama was a lot of just,,, i don’t want to talk to you,,, so i’m gonna sit here in bitter silence,,,, and it will be so fuckin weird,,,, and i love forcing that onto sirius and rem (and all of you) bc ugh. it truly is PAINFUL.

cas and sirius have become one of my favourite dynamics so unexpectedly, but i actually adore them with my whole soul - writing them is so easy and fun.

same with all our skittles. rejoining the marauders fandom after years of absence as i did, the concept of the skittles is something i’ve been discovering slowly (as it fully was not around when i was) and i was in no way expecting to write something so them-centric, but i’m enjoying how my characterisations are turning out (even if they’re a bit different from fanon)!!!!

good god i have so much to say abt sirius, james and remus in this fic. at the end of the day i’m going for this kind of mirror to fanon/canon where sirius and james are THE relationship (obvs they hate each other rn, but it is still a defining duo) and remus feels kind of on the outs as a result, seeing himself as something seperate and perhaps less of a priority as a result.

i could write a whole character study on james just for this fic. one of my main writing considerations is a sirius without a james who has shown him unconditional love. sirius in gryffindor is so different bc of JAMES, the first person to love him so overtly. when he doesn’t have that (even in his skittles in this fic, not in a way that isn’t attached to his family identity (at least in his own mind)), where does that leave sirius? bc then it also means, how do james and sirius develop a relationship when it doesn’t start with a foundation of ‘i chose you as my best mate in yr 1’, yk??? they hate each other already, where do they go from there in the future??? just. ugh. platonic prongsfoot. kills me every fucking time.

cannot wait for the next one as well, she’s a big one!!!! i’ll tell you that.

xx

[masivechaos]

pictures of you - send your clothing inspiration + your music taste + fandom(s) from the list above -> i'll write some headcanons about how i think you would be in the fandom(s) you sent!

lord of the rings, marauders, and sherlock holmes maybe?

(if this is too many just pick whatever you like best)

I usually wear a uniform to school, and then i just stay home. But! now that it is summer and i am free, lots of jeans of many varieties, light wash, dark wash, wide leg, boot cut, you get the idea (but never low waisted, i’m too short for it and i always have to cuff them to oblivion, and i like the way high waisted feels on my waist for some reason). Mostly crop tops, but i am an amateur lover of sundresses. I also have all my sweatshirts hanging up in my closet by color. I like making my own clothes too, i made my prom dress, i make a lot of dresses for my mom. and i don’t know if this counts as my style, but i make a lot of “old timey” clothes. Like the amount of pirate shirts i have now is out of control, it’s crayyyyzeeee. Also circle skirts and corsets that i just wear around the house.

I feel really basic with the jeans, any plain cropped t-shirt, and my louis tomlinson tour sweatshirts (a black one and a neon orange one that makes me look like a traffic cone) but also platform converse or doc martins.

I like the arctic monkeys, the last shadow puppets, lana del rey, laufey, pirate shanties, Bowie, the sex pistols, Fiona Apple, Ethel Cain, and also italian operas even if i have no idea what they’re saying. One direction, Louis TomlinsonC and harry styles. Oh and Chloe Flower!

i think that’s all? anyway Biggest biggest congratulations and don’t rush, take your time 💜

lord of the rings

you would be a prince/princess for sure. human and a fucking strong independant person. i see you making your own dresses because you want to wear what you want. the hobbits love you for sure, they think you are so cool. you take the opportunities being part of the royal family offers you but you stay simple, with your heart in your hands and would never hesitate before helping other people. you would join the fellowship and create a special bond with legolas who understands the overwhelming feeling of being a part of the royal family. you would discuss your desire of adventure with aragorn who could only relate. the entire fellowship loves you and admire who you are and the fact you don't give a fuck about people's opinion.

marauders

you would be at gryffindor and james would love you. imagine modern au and being able to introduce him to one direction?? he would be YELLING 'what makes you beautiful' i swear. you owned sirius' and remus' heart when they knew you listened to bowie!! i would say you are muggleborn and they are so impressed by the fact you can create your own dress. you would also be friends with the slytherin skittles because dorcas would adore you with your corsets. you would def share your closet with remus because he loves jeans and (cropped) tees!!

sherlock holmes

make a dress for molly please 🙏. john might find it a bit odd when he finds you wearing a corset but he loves it. sherlock would probably be indifferent, you could be wearing something new he would just be "why?" and then go on about his day lmao (feel like he didn't get the concept of crop tee, why would you wear smth too short for you??). if you try to introduce him to your music don't be offended if he does not like it, for you he might try but errr he's a bit complicated. he really loves you though <3

[nonbinary-potatoes]

Om om om om I love giving characters chronic illnesses and disabilities, on that note... marauders era characters as spoonies/their disabilities

Barty is deaf/hoh and needs hearing aids - he gets the Bluetooth sort and uses them to listen to music, also insomnia (he just wants to sleep)

Evan has terrible eyesight, bad myopia + astigmatism and shitty peripheral vision (me too) but exclusively wears contacts because he hates glasses (barty likes to sneak up behind him because he can't see at the sides/behind at and also albinism (which causes most his eye problems)

Regulus and Sirius with haemophilia... like queen Victoria's children coz incest, they both carry vitamin K plasters everywhere just in case. Reggie gets really bad nosebleeds that trigger his migraines (heamophilia nosebleeds are... something, sometimes they start bleeding from their eyes/tear ducts because of the pressure from the blood. Source my haemophiliac gf)

Pandora with albinism and bad eyesight like Evan (slightly better than his, and better peripheral vision) I also hc her as tubefed/ needing an nj tube in modern AUs

Dorcas defo had eczema, enough said. Swears on cold chamomile and lavander lotion and hates corticosteroid lotions because she had topical steroid withdrawal once and it took weeks to go away

Marlene with celiac disease, she is not a gluten girly lol. And T1 diabetes, she has a personal vendetta against fast food staff who don't get her drink order right (number one fan of sugar free fanta) and literally all her friends always have sweets/glucose tablets on them because she eats her emergency stash sweets when she's hungry

Lily with hypothyroidism <3 and Lily with arthritis <3, she has cool coloured compression gloves and a matching cane to Remus and she despises the cold

Peter with asthma, like he just gives the vibe - probably needs nebbing super often coz he does not manage it well (the kinda guy to neglect his health because he thinks it's not that deep)

Remus with CFS/ME, he is eepy (chronically) and I love seeing people depict him as a mobility aid user for whatever reason but I especially love EDS/HSD + POTS Remus for biased reasons

James with psoriasis and epilepsy, absent seizures and tonic/atonic seizures when he's too stressed or under bright/strobe lights. Scalp psoriasis that bleeds when it gets bad (please save this man from stress, his body hates it)

Sirius with anaemia, idc why but that man is so anaemic. Also probably deals with a chronic mental health condition like bipolar or OCD

Mary is an endometriosis queen, she is suffering :( but she definitely slaps Dr's who say "just have a baby"

regulus black gets migraines.

intense throbbing pain on the left side of his head. sensitive to light more than sound. nausea to the max. shaky hands. he just sits on his room in complete darkness watching youtube with brightness at the lowest setting. he'd use that apple hack where you can increase volume and brightness by a fourth of an increment and use 3/4 of a level cause everything is too much. he'd like to be reading but his head hurts too bad for him to focus on the words.

[dorcasxxmeadowes-archive]

lost and found // dorcas, remus, alaric & ari

It had been a long week. Since the news of an attempted break out of Azkaban, everyone from The Order had been put on several missions. For all Dorcas and Remus knew, nothing had come out of anyone's efforts so far. However, they wouldn't know seeing as they had been tracking a Death Eater for miles.

And miles.

And miles.

And miles.

They had been tracking so long that eventually the two managed to find themselves somewhere in a field full of brush, dirt and grass as tall as Dorcas herself (not that that wasn't difficult, mind you, but it didn't help their search any).

We must look ridiculous. I can hardly see where we're going. Remus' head and shoulders are just bobbing along up and down like a moron.

Dorcas loved Remus. She was excited to be put on a mission with him, knowing how intelligent and capable he was. She loved his company, their talks, silly outbursts and intellectual conversations. But with his stupid bobbing head and shoulders being the only thing she could clearly see, she began to get irked. They weren't any closer to finding the Death Eater they were trailing.

And now -- oh now -- they were lost. No Death Eater in sight (she assumed based of Remus' weaving through the brush and refusal to say what he saw).

Finally, Dorcas got sick and tired of the limited view ahead of her and pulled out her wand, cast a frustrated spell and made all the grass around them fall flat to the ground.

She was right.

Remus got them lost.

What the fuck?!

She turned a shade of red and pursed her lips. She really did try to keep her mouth shut ...but that didn't happen.

"What the hell Remus? Where are we, huh? Once we hit where I couldn't see, you were all 'I've got this, Dorcas!'" She threw her arms around her, nearly hitting Remus with the wand still in her grasp. "Well, where are we, genius?"

She didn't want to be angry at him, but there was no room for error in their task at hand. Yet there they were.

Nowhere.

@remuslxpns / @pureavery

[luveline]

can i request reader who has trouble sleeping accidentally falling asleep on james or sirius in front of everyone? <3

yes u can tysm!!! I went with sirius!! ♡ fem!reader

You've had trouble sleeping since forever, but this seems to be new information for Sirius. 

"Why'd you look so sad?" he asks softly. 

You squint up at him, puzzled. He's pulled his hair back into a low ponytail that suits him more than you can describe – something about the unfettered view of his lovely cheekbones, maybe. He's a pair of small golden hoops in his lobes that glow against his tanned skin. They catch your eyes, the shine soft and distractingly pretty. 

"Hey, are you with me?" he asks. 

His dark eyes crease even deeper with concern. 

"No, I'm okay. Sorry, I swear I'm not looking through you. Just tired." 

"Yeah? Didn't sleep well?"

A fallen hair curls at the neck of his jacket. You pluck it up and roll it off of your thumb. Your eyes burn when you look at the ground, the uni hall floors always blindingly clean. "Yeah." 

He tilts his head. You have the prickly feeling of being assessed then and have to resist the urge to squirm on the spot. 

"You didn't wanna take the day off?" he asks. You might make a joke about his trying to get you to go home; a 'tell me how you really feel' begs to be said, but you won't mess around, not when he looks so sweetly concerned. 

"I'm okay." 

Sirius is a good friend. Unexpected in that you'd never imagined he'd speak to you, or that the friendship might last so long, and decidedly good. He pulls a familiar canvas rucksack off of his shoulder and digs around in the back. He offers you a little bottle of caffeine chewables and a cereal bar, the sticky, tough kind with more sugar than nutrition. You accept the cereal but ignore the pills. 

"Caffeine puts me in a cycle," you tell him. 

"Do you have a drink?" he asks.

You've hardly said not yet when he passes you his metal flask. 

"Meet me after lecture and we'll go up to the Slug for dinner?" he asks, knowing you'll say yes. 

You nod predictably. "Who's coming?" 

"Everyone. Maybe." 

You meet him after your lecture and head up to the Slug, a big, rundown pub with high ceilings and paisley carpets rumoured to have once been burgundy. He guides you with an amicable hand pressed lightly to the top of your shoulder, down a handful of steps into the 'pit', a mess of booths and lacquered wooden chairs. The smell of cider is sickly sweet, masked only by the stuffiness of decade old smoke. 

Your friends sit in the nook. 

"Hi," you say, barely stopping to glance at Remus as you climb over a chair to sit beside him. 

Sirius follows, to Marlene's abject delight. She quickly has him helping her with coursework. A mess of loose leaf grid paper covers her entire table. The girls sitting with her – Lily, Dorcas, and Mary – have started to rest their drinks on her precious workings, to her chagrin. 

"Respect the graphs!" she says. 

You huff and deflate in your chair. 

"You've Marl's coursework stuck to your foot," Remus says, pushing his bowl of chips toward you. 

You steal one gratefully and lift your foot. "Oh." 

Sirius nabs it for you. He takes a second to look you over, gaze clearly snagging on your puffy eyes before it recentres.

"Don't mind if I have this, do you?" he asks. 

You moan. You hope it says what you want it to. Yes, you can, but it is a big inconvenience to me and you definitely owe me. 

Sirius wrinkles his nose at you with a laugh and turns back to Marlene.

Remus has the brilliant talent of knowing when someone needs peace and quiet. He leaves you to your own devices and turns back to his book. You watch him turn the pages for a while, your eyes growing heavier and heavier, as does your body. You feel your limbs as if they're piped with lead.

Sirius finally turns to you again. You're excited for his attention and try to liven up unsuccessfully, face turned into the rough material of the booths seat. He frowns at your and slides his arm between your cheek and the seat, hand clapping your back amicably.

"You alright?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Did you..." You yawn. "What are you gonna have?"

"I was thinking about fish and chips, honestly. What do you want? I'll get yours at the same time."

"Um, maybe," — his eyes are sweet and soft and so, so dark, staring down at you with endless patience — "maybe I'll have fish and chips as well."

"Copycat." He grins.

"Sirius, what the fuck is this?" Marlene demands, sounding petrified.

He turns from you quick. His arm around your shoulder pulls you with him, your face falling into the space just below his collar. Your nose presses to his jacket and you catch his scent there, a warm musk. Vanilla for certain, a sweetness hiding just underneath. Your hands fall useless in your lap as you let yourself sink into him, stealing all his warmth and comfort.

His hand moves of its own accord up and down your back. It's a nice feeling. It's a really nice feeling. Your eyes slip closed, and you tell yourself you'll open them when he turns to speak with you again.

Sirius finishes his explanation though whether he truly grasps the material is beyond him. He pats your shoulder, the start of an apology on his lips when he notices your stillness.

Your face tucked and slipping down the line of his chest, you've fallen asleep. He pulls the zipper of his jacket away from your cheek as carefully as he can and feels something near his heart surge. Relief, he thinks, to see you sleeping when you'd looked heartbreakingly exhausted before. And fondness, because you're pretty when you're snoozing, lips a little smushed together in a pout and face smooth of any wrinkles.

Sirius meets eyes with Remus and smiles sheepishly at the smugness on his friends face.

"Poor girl," he says under his breath, stroking down your arm with the side of his hand.

He settles in, content to be a human pillow.

[mediocre-daydreams]

(ch.2) what it takes to heal

what should’ve been said

pairing: james potter x female! reader

summary: there’s no protocol for sexual assault. blame is being doled out everywhere, but you don’t need the chaos of an investigation right now. you just need james to hold you and tell you you’re safe.

warnings: descriptions and allusions to sexual assault, implied spiking of drinks, alcohol, angst

w/c: 5.3k

a/n: if u can’t tell by the title, these are the words i wish somebody had told me back then. most of this is just a regurgitation of my reaction to my experiences tbh but despite how hard it is to write this, it’s freeing to finally get these words out and i hope maybe it can make someone feel less alone

James was incorrigible. The minute he felt you collapse against his back, it was as if his fight with Sirius had never occurred. “Hey, who the hell-” he spun around just in time to see you wobble, calling his name weakly, before melting into his hands like soft dough. Seeing his friend in distress, Remus peeled you from James’ tightening grip, leading you over to a couch. You curled up against the couch’s arm, swaying as you struggled to stay awake. It was a pointless fight.

“What- what is this? What’s going on?” James was panicking, hands coming to tug harshly on his hair. He had decided not to drink tonight, knowing you’d be there and wanting to make a good impression. He’d sworn to stay by your side and keep you safe, to make sure you had a good time. Fuck, he even made sure not to pour you too strong of a drink. The only reason he’d left you—and he had only meant to be gone for a few minutes at most—was to make sure there wouldn’t be anybody at the party who could ruin your night. By leaving you alone, had he been the one to do just that?

“Move! Out of my way!” Marlene could be heard shoving through a wall of Regulus’ Slytherin friends, meeting you by the couch, and practically forcing Remus off. “Don’t touch her.”

Lily and Dorcas were by your side almost instantaneously. The three of them formed a semblance of a triangle—Marlene brushed your hair, standing over your left shoulder, Lily was perched on the couch cushion next to you, and Dorcas leaned on the same arm of the couch you were laying against. The four of you had never been to a house party without each other. None of you had ever come across something like this.

“Who do you think did this? Was it bloody Snivellus? I’ll kedavra him, I swear-” Marlene sneered, feeling around the back of her trousers for the wand in her pocket.

“Sev wouldn’t- Severus wouldn’t do something like this. I get it, he’s horrid, but he’s not completely evil.” Lily admitted, still wary of jumping to conclusions.

“You don’t think it was one of those Slytherin blokes, do you?” Dorcas whispered, eyes narrowing at the group of boys near Regulus, the same ones Marlene had pushed to get to you.

“As much as I’d love an excuse to beat up some blood purists, they’ve been with Regulus all night. Pretty sure she was fine before she left. Does anyone even know where she went?”

“Are you sure? Because that one in the gray looks awfully-”

Regulus looked worried as he made his way to James’ side, arms crossed stoically. James hadn’t stopped pacing since he’d seen you. He hadn’t done anything much else, really, but mumble to himself and tug at his face, as if trying to pull himself out of the expanse of his own guilty thoughts.

“Oi, mate. Your girlfriend isn’t gonna get any better if you just mope around like a boneless chicken wing. She’s quite literally there, y’know? Just- do whatever you Gryffindors do. Valor, ‘n shit.” Regulus’ eyes, despite his tone, shone with concern as he slapped James on the back. “We’re gonna head out. Let us know if you need anything.” James assumed he meant his Slytherin posse, which trailed behind the younger Black as the ensemble of well-groomed boys retreated out the portrait hole.

“She’s not my-” James caught himself. Merlin, all he could think about was making you his, when you were passed out on a couch in front of him. What a bastard. What an absolute arsehole he was, James Potter.

You coughed, mouth pulling into a downward smile as you tried to look at one of the three doting faces hovering around you. “Hey,” you croaked.

“Good heavens, I’m not sure if I want to kiss you or kill you,” Lily gasped, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m so glad you’re awake,” she looked around at your roommates. “We didn’t know what to do.”

At the sound of your voice, James practically flung himself at your feet, groveling.

“Oh thank Merlin, you’re okay. Are you okay?” He took both your hands, slightly cold, into his bigger, warmer ones, bringing them up to his mouth. He contemplated kissing them but settled for blowing warm air between your palms and helping you rub your hands together. “You’re okay, right? You’re gonna be okay.” He sniffed, eyes stormy as he tried to read your mind.

“I’m,” you wanted to laugh. You couldn’t remember how you had come to be in the center of a crowd of your worried friends, having James Potter at his knees for you. “Why are you all so,” you wheezed, trying to clear the phlegm out of your throat, “jittery?”

“I’m worried about you, love.” Your heart grew at the sound of his nickname for you rolling so easily from his lips. “You’re not- c’mon, humor me here.” Lily looked at him skeptically but she still shifted down so James could take the spot right next to you. His forehead was wrinkled and you wanted nothing more than to smooth out the lines with your thumb, but you couldn’t breathe with his face so close, his eyes boring into yours searching for some semblance of an answer.

“I really don’t remember anything,” you laughed uneasily, knowing that there had to be something amiss. The party was still going strong; perhaps the flashing lights and loud music were making you confused?

Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas looked at each other knowingly. The boys might not’ve caught on, but that looming threat was a reality of your lives that the three of them had finally been forced to put a name to. “You left for a bit,” Dorcas said hesitantly, “after James left. Where did you go?”

At the sound of his name, James tensed and pulled you into him a little closer. You relished the feeling. His fingers wrapped around your waist just as they had at the beginning of the night, tapping lightly at the indent between your ribcage and your hip absentmindedly. You shivered.

“Got a drink,” you recalled. “James gave me Otter’s. Wanted more.” You smiled imperceptibly, remembering the taste of the sweet orange-vanilla drink on your tongue. “They didn’t have more.” You frowned a bit when you remembered that.

When nobody spoke, and James continued to look at you with those doe eyes of his, you took that as your cue to continue. His hand squeezed yours reassuringly as you adjusted yourself in his lap. “Uh, they were out. I can’t-” you closed your eyes tightly, digging as far as you could for the memories of the hour. “You helped me, James. I hate grapes.” You buried your face into his shoulder, where he could feel your lips curling into a smile. “Worst flavor.”

Your friends looked at James suspiciously. His heart dropped. What did you mean, “he helped you?” He hadn’t seen you since the beginning o the party! “I swear, I didn’t-”

“Whatever, James. We’ll deal with your shit after.” Marlene held a hand up. Lupin and Sirius looked between the two parties, unsure of where to stand or what to do.

“Yeah, you helped me, James. Got me gigglewater. It worked!” You hiccuped. “Was fun… I like spending time with you, Jamie. Sometimes I pretend I don’t, but I do.” It was everything James had ever wanted to hear. Not only did you like spending time with him, but all those times you had supposedly hated him hadn’t been real. It didn’t make him feel any better though; if anything, worse. You had trusted him and he had let you down.

“Gigglewater…” you giggled. Your friends looked at you with another wave of doubt.

“Did James-” Sirius began before James sent him a hard kick to the ankle. “Did you see anyone after?” You nodded absently.

“Yeah, these guys. A Slytherin, some Huffles… Ravenclaws… but not as funny as you, Sirius.” You laughed again at that too, though nobody laughed with you. (It kind of hurt your feelings.)

Dorcas’s lip curled. “Fucking Slytherins…”

“James is nice. Gave me his jacket.” You wrapped your arms around the real James, your hands gliding across his back as you looked for the jacket you had been sleeping under.

“James never worse a jacket tonight,” Remus said, puzzled.

“S’okay! He’s a wizard.’ You grinned as if you had solved all the world’s secrets. “Nice guy. Gave me a hug. He hugged me. A hug. A hug…” A violent wave of tremors overtook you as things started returning to you.

“No! Get off me! Stop touching me, you pervert! Go!” You came to your senses, shoving yourself off of James with as much force as you could muster and crawling away from him, almost throwing yourself into Remus’ arms. Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas looked murderous.

“Potter, want to tell me what the fuck is going on?” Lily’s wand was out, held right under James’ chin. Sirius grabbed her free arm, but she shook him off. “You heard her! She said it was Potter! You- what did you do?”

“Lily! It’s James! You know, the same stupid James with the stupid hair! He’d never- you know he wouldn’t!” Nobody would say the words. Nobody would say them because saying them made it real. You almost wish somebody would say it. None of this felt real. “You know he’d never do that. He’s even stopped with Snivellus.” Lily went limp at the sound of her ex-friend’s name, angry tears collecting in her waterline.

“Explain! Somebody, explain.” Marlene held up a hand, the other clutching Dorcas’ for support with such strength that both their knuckles were pale. Remus still held you to his chest, his hand cupping the back of your head with your eyes staining his shirt; one of the few nice shirts he had. You felt horrible. James watched as Remus consoled you. That should be me. Holding you, making sure you’re okay. Instead, I’m the one who hurt you. And I’m the one who keeps wishing for things even when I’ve done something wrong.

“I swear, I didn’t touch her. I didn’t pour her anything except for the Otter’s; I swear, I would’ve never given her gigglewater, you have to believe me. I was just yelling at Sirius for not keeping an eye on her, I’m fully aware she doesn’t take to strong alcohol well, and I’d never-” James gasped, tears forming in his eyes. He wiped them away with his sleeve stubbornly. “I’d never do anything like that to her. Or to anyone. Fuck, all I’ve ever wanted to do was protect her.” His voice was wavering now, and catching sight of you stirring in Remus’ arms, he stopped his frantic pacing and dropped down to his knees in front of you. “Please, Remus, let me see her.”

The girls eyed him warily, eyes glancing up to you to gauge your reaction.

“James?” You murmured. “James, ‘s that you?” James didn’t move until your hand stretched out, uncoordinated, running through the air to try and touch his face. Your vision was still blurry, and he had to reach out to take your hand so that you could find him. He flinched as his hand made contact with yours, terrified that you’d panic.

“It’s me, darling. It’s James, I’m here,” he cooed, sniffing and trying to hold his composure in front of the common room. “Are you okay? No, that’s stupid, you’re not…” He shook his head to regain his thoughts. “What’s going on, love? Can you talk to me?”

“James, c’mere.” You held your arms out. “I’m not scared of you James. Made a mistake. He looked a lot like you, y’nno. ‘S why I trusted him so much. I trust you, James.” Your hands grabbed for him, fisting the soft fabric of his jumper and pulling him closer with a weak grip. “Please, can you just hold me?”

James’ face burned as he felt the stares of your friends on him. Lily’s eyes were trained on him with such intensity that he thought, if Lily had learned to do wandless magic, his hair would’ve been on fire by now. Remus shifted out of the way as James came closer, transferring the weight of your body over to the other boy. As soon as James’ arms were around you, you buried your head into the warmth of his chest. He looked down at you, gravity pulling the accumulated tears from his eyes. The two of you stayed in each others’ embraces for a while; you savored the safety that came with James’ familiar touch. Your friends were whispering as they watched, and eventually, Sirius, Peter, and Remus decided that they’d best leave the two of you alone.

“Want us to wrap up the party, Prongs?” Peter asked gently, not commenting on his friend’s emotional state. James nodded, and Peter trod off solemnly, beginning to usher the crowd out of the portrait hole. Remus began cleaning up trash and Sirius headed towards the drinks.

“I’m gonna go help.” Marlene muttered, making her way over to Sirius. Dorcas shot Lily a concerned look before taking the opposite side of the room as Remus, waving her wand to skillfully float crumpled napkins and cups from off the ground.

Lily didn’t budge. She squinted at James apprehensively as he caught her eye, and he sighed deeply. “Lily, I get it. ‘M probably not the most trustworthy person to you, but I swear, I’d rather be strangled by the giant squid before I let anything happen to her. And if you want me to go, I can go. But… please, Lily.” His voice was small, and there was a lingering sentiment in the air that James couldn’t quite voice. Lily seemed to understand because she gave him a curt nod and harsh sniff before turning on her heel to meet Dorcas.

Now, it was just you and James curled up in the corner of a plush couch. Your head would occasionally jerk up as you tried to stay awake, your grip on James’ jumper faltering as you began to doze off.

“No, you have to stay with me, okay? I need you to tell me what’s going on before you forget. C’mon, I need you to stay awake, yeah?” James shook you gently, studying your face. There was a dopey smile across your lips, one that unnerved him as it contrasted with the terror of the situation. Your eyelids were fluttering and your eyelashes, coated so carefully in mascara from the beginning of the night, had rubbed off and was smudged underneath your eyes. Your nose was tinged with red and your skin felt clammy, but still, you looked up at him with an adoration in your eyes that made his stomach twist with guilt. He didn’t deserve that look, not when he let this happen to you.

“You thought it was me?” He whispered, horrified. You sobered, eyes snapping up to him as you were reminded of what you had been originally discussing.

“Yeah, I did.” You rubbed your nose ungracefully. “He had glasses, like you. Sweet, too. Gave me his jacket, like you do sometimes.” You smiled up at him, but he didn’t return it, waiting for you to continue. You furrowed your brows in concentration, looking down at your lap to pull out the blurry memories.

“Ha, we should ask Dumbledore for his pensieve,” you snorted, trying to lighten the mood.

“Dove…”

“Right, okay. Uh, it gets fuzzy here,” you murmur, straining for puzzle pieces. “He introduced me to his friends, ‘n we talked a bit.” You shook your head, desperate to clear your clouded senses. You pinched your cheek. You held your breath. Nothing was any clearer.

“Think I talked about trousers, for a bit,” you laughed at your drunken antics. “How I had wished—oh, shit.” Your eyes widened. “Oh shit. James, I think I remember. James, I think I remember, and it wasn’t good, James, James, please James,” your hands began trembling, and you moved them around his body looking for the best leverage. They settled at his biceps, and you squeezed, an ache spreading through your muscles.

“James, no, I don’t want to do this, James.” Fuck, the tears were coming back. You didn’t want to cry in front of James. You didn’t want to think about this at all. “No, James, I’m not talking about this. I don’t want it to happen. It didn’t happen.” You’re frantic now, nails digging into his skin.

James’ arms pull you in even tighter, and you let yourself go limp inside his embrace. He soothed you, one hand rubbing the small of your back as the other weaved its way through your hair. You were shivering, and you couldn’t tell if it was from the cold, from the event, or from the way he was touching you. You weren’t sure if you wanted to be touched right now. But you weren’t sure if you wanted to be away from James. You thought you might die if you left his arms; they were the only place where you felt safe, protected, pure.

James didn’t say anything. What was there to say? I’m sorry. What was he sorry for? For abandoning you? For letting it happen? He didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’ll kill him. And he would if he knew who the boy in question was. He’d kill him slowly and painfully, and maybe he’d let the school know of his crimes before he took the boy’s life so that his legacy would be tarnished even after death. James would do all of it for you, but he couldn’t. Not now, not when you were holding on to him as if he was the only thing anchoring you to the world.

“My love…” James let himself cry. He let himself bury his head into your hair and he let himself catch the scent of your shampoo, and he let the tears flow freely as a million worst-case scenarios raced through his mind, like Cornish pixies as they wreaked havoc in their path of flight.

“James…” You let yourself cry too, and you nuzzled your face even closer to his chest as you sobbed. He could feel the dampness of your tears seeping through the thin fabric at his chest, and he could feel the vibrations of each shuddering breath you took. Each one pierced his heart a little more.

Between desperate gasps for air and violent hiccups, you spat out the words that you had been searching for the entire night.

“He- hic! He tried to touch me- hic! There, you- hic! You know? And I was scared, James. I was so, so- hic! Hic! I was so scared. I wanted you to be there, James. You would’ve- hic! Known what to do.” You weren’t getting enough air. Your head was beginning to fog up again.

“Hey, hey, breathe f’me, okay? Look at me. Come on, look at me.” James grabbed your chin forcefully, trying to compensate for how much he was shaking. He took your hand and put it on his chest as he took a deep inhale. “Breathe with me, okay?” His eyes, which were as red as the Gryffindor banners, refused to leave yours.

You struggled with the breathing exercise. It took you over ten minutes to return your breathing to a consistent intake of air, but even then, your heart was pounding so quickly you felt like it might start skipping beats before it collapsed altogether.

“James, I couldn’t do anything,” you choked. “I just let it happen, James. I- I lost it all. I had no courage. When it finally counted, I couldn’t even be brave.” You gaped for air, making fish-like noises, but you didn’t care. You really, truly thought you might die if you didn’t keep breathing. “Am I even a Gryffindor? I can’t even do that one thing, I just let it happen, I just wanted someone else to come and save me, I just wanted you-”

“Don’t say that.” James hissed, pushing you away from him. “Don’t you say that about my favorite girl. You’re so strong,” his eyes darkened. “And he’s the coward. Taking advantage of you, getting you drunk, he’s the coward, he is. Not you.” James held you by the shoulders, thumbs pressing up from under your chin to keep your head elevated. “You’re wrong, baby. You are brave. You’re here, telling me what happened. You’re confronting it head-on and that takes real courage. I don’t see any cowardice from you. I only see strength. Look at you. You’re here, you’re alive, and you’re breathing, aren’t you? He’s gone, and you’re still here.

“And right in front of me is the picture of rebellion. He tried to hurt you, he tried to take away your spirit, and he tried to destroy your autonomy. But in the end, it’s not about him. He’s vile and he’s nothing and he’ll never be anything. In the end, it’s you. It’s you, because you’re still here. These tears?” He smiled sadly and brushed the pad of his thumb underneath your eyes. When he pulled his finger away, it was stained black. “These tears are proof that you’re still human. You’re still you, baby.

“He tried to take away your power, but you know, it takes real power to still be here. He tried and he failed. You’re so strong, love, you’re so strong. So strong.” He pressed his lips to the top of your head, giving you what you thought might’ve been soft kisses, between each utterance.

“James, I’m tired.” You blinked heavily. “I’m so tired, James. I’m tired of this and I’m tired because I need to sleep. Can you take me to bed, please?”

James blushed. “Yeah, I’ll take you up.” He draped your arms around his neck, allowing your head to rest upon his shoulder as he swept you up by the legs. His fingers dug into your thighs and your calves dangled freely.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Marlene was nearly snarling as she caught sight of James quietly taking you up the stairs.

“Bringing her up, I swear! She’s heavy, I don’t know if you’ll be able to carry her.” As much as Marlene wanted to take offense, James was right.

“You think I’m heavy?” You grumbled.

“Not what I meant, love. Nothing wrong with being heavy. Marls is just small. You’re no trouble for me.”

You seemed satisfied with that answer. When James set you on your bed, you were already half asleep. You curled in on yourself, and even with the lights off, he could see the goosebumps forming along your arms as you rubbed them to warm yourself. He moved to tuck you in but took note of your red slip.

Should he help you change? You couldn’t be comfortable in your jewelry and dress. And if you woke up in them tomorrow, would you be reminded of tonight? But in the end, they were your clothes. And would it be fair to try and change you when you were drunk and verging on unconsciousness, even if it was completely well-intentioned? You had already lost so much of your control today.

Control, he thought. You should be able to make your own decisions about your own body. He’d just offer you the pyjamas, he figured. But going through your drawers? That was also invasive. He dashed out of your room and returned just as quickly, this time with a bundle of his own clothes in his arms. He sat at the edge of the bed, watching as your eyes slowly opened and blinked until his face came into focus.

“James? What are you still doing here?”

“Brought you some clothes. D’you wanna change? I didn’t want to do it for you, it felt wrong.”

“Thank you, James.” The corners of your mouth turned up in gratitude. “It… means a lot. And yeah, I’d like to change.” You took the clothes from him and began slipping out of your dress. James let out a strangled noise.

“Ah! I’ll leave, I’m so sorry.” He rushed towards the door.

“No! Please- uh, will you stay? Just don’t look right now. But could you just stay for a few minutes?”

James nodded silently. You pulled on the clothes he had given you—they weren’t your own. You were quick to identify them as his, though. You could recognize his cologne. Soon, the worn cotton of his shirt filled your nose with his comforting presence, and you opted out of his sweatpants, which kept slipping down your hips. You grabbed a pair of something that resembled shorts off the ground and slipped them on instead.

“Okay, I’m done.” He turned, and the both of you flushed under each other’s gazes.

“You look… you look good, all things considered.” His mouth was pursed so tightly that his lips had disappeared. His skin looked pale under the moonlight that crept in through the window.

“Are you okay?” You whispered. The room was quiet enough that your voice was able to fill up the entire space.

“I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me, dove.” James approached you tentatively. “Are you comfortable with me touching you?”

You nodded. James wrapped his arms around you once more, bringing you to flush against his chest as your arms found a place around his waist.

“I care about you, a lot. Probably more than I should.” James confessed breathlessly. “It scares me sometimes. How far I’d be willing to go for you.”

“Don’t say that, James. Nobody is worth sacrificing your integrity for.”

“But you are. For you, I’d sacrifice anything. Everything.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. What were you supposed to? James interrupted your thoughts. “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to let you know what you mean to me. And now you know, I guess.”

“Will you stay a little longer? I don’t want to go to sleep right now,” you wriggled yourself out of his hold, your hands coming up to cup his cheeks. “I’m- I’m afraid to close my eyes. I’m scared to dream. But mostly, I’m scared that I won’t be able to do anything this time. If I’m not awake.”

James’ face was nothing short of devastated by your words. “Of course. I’d do anything for you, remember?” He tried for a smile, but it came out more like a grimace. You gave him your own sleepy smile.

“C’mere.” You propped yourself up on a few pillows so that your back could rest comfortably against the headboard, and patted the space beside you. James looked cautious, but you mouthed your reassurances to him. When he finally crawled beside you, the mattress sunk under his weight. He laid flat on his back, eyes staring straight into the ceiling as you observed his face from your sitting position.

“Thank you for everything, James. I don’t think that I’d be… okay, if you weren’t here.” You fumbled in the dark for his hand, tangling your fingers in his. You could feel the bed shift as his body finally relaxed.

You sighed. “And you’re right. I shouldn’t have said those things about me not being a Gryffindor. You were right when you said I was strong. I am strong, I really am. Thank you for reminding me of that. And I hope- I know that one day, I’ll be okay. And it’ll be because I had you, James. It’ll be because I’m strong.

You squeezed James’ hand absentmindedly. “I’m not scared of you, I hope you know that. The guy? I thought he was you, for a bit. D’you know why? Because he seemed to care, James. I trusted him because I trust you, and I still trust you, don’t worry. I didn’t mean any of it—the stuff I said when I was out of it, I mean. You’re always looking out for me. That’s why I thought he was you. ‘Cos you’re always taking care of me, and I never thank you properly for it. Thank you, Jamie.”

James finally squeezes your hand back. Not letting go, he props up on his elbow and turned to face you. His eyes glittered, watery and vulnerable as they met yours. “I’ve always cared about you, y’know? I guess I’m not very good at showing it. It’s hard for me to be… vulnerable, I guess. I’ve always admired your ability to do that—to be able to feel so freely. But you deserve someone who can tell you how they feel about you.”

You held your breath. Was this the moment he’d tell you how he felt about you? But nothing came. You closed your eyes, smiling sadly. You didn’t feel anything towards him anyway, so what did it matter? But you couldn’t chase the pang in your stomach. It had been a long night; ‘course your stomach was a bit upset.

“You’ve been plenty vulnerable tonight, Jamie. If that counts for anything.” Your fingers began moving on their own accord, breaking themselves out of James’ hold and slowly tracing them up his arm until they came to rest on his shoulder. He shuddered under your feathery touch. You shifted, coming down from your looming spot against the headboard until you were level with James on the bed, your head further down to avoid the stack of pillows which meant you were a couple centimeters below James’ shoulders.

“I dunno, lovey. But I’ll take your word for it. You’ve always been much smarter than me.” You rolled over to your stomach and pushed yourself up on an elbow so you could be eye-to-eye with him. You took his chin in your hands.

“Don’t say that about my favorite boy.” James’ mouth parted in surprise, but before he could speak, you knocked his elbow from underneath him so that he lost his balance and fell back onto the bed. You giggled, taking the opportunity to nuzzle into his chest. “You smell nice,” you whispered shyly.

“Do I, now?” He chuckled, chest vibrating under from where your head rested. His hand came up to run circles along your back.

“Mhm,” you agreed, closing your eyes in sleepy satisfaction. “Thank you, James. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” James let you ramble for a bit until you went silent. At first, he thought you were just enjoying the peace of the nighttime with him, but as your breaths evened out, he realized you had fallen asleep atop him.

Shit, Lily’s gonna slaughter me if she finds me like this. But if I move and she wakes up, she’ll refuse to go to sleep again. And she really should sleep, not only to recover from all that happened to her, but also sleep off the alcohol. She’s not used to all this; she’s gonna have a brutal hangover in the morning.

And, if James was being honest, he was in no rush to leave you. He was perfectly content to be beside you as you slept; it was the ultimate sign of trust. You’d felt safe enough around him to let your guard down, even after you’d confessed to not wanting to sleep in fear of something happening that you couldn’t control. And yet, you’d still asked him to stay. His heart skipped.

“You don’t see it, do you?” James muttered, mostly to himself. “You don’t even realize how much I love you.” With that, he let his eyes close.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

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[thora-jane]

CAN I REQUEST AGAIN FOR SIRIUS BLACK ANGST ASDGSTAH

I was thinking like the reader got into a fight with sirius, and the fight doesn’t end nicely, the next morning reader need to go into an order mission with sirius, and she saves him from the sectumsempra spell

Take a Beating

Sirius X Reader

(a/n) This is my first time with a Harry Potter request, and also my first time writing for Sirius. This was a really fun request to work with and it was nice to give my brain a different set of characters/world to work in. I hope you enjoy! <3

Warnings: Descriptions of pain and blood, light swearing

Word Count: 2,820

“So does everyone understand the mission?” James asked, looking around the table, “We get in, torch the records, and get out. Simple, easy, we could’ve pulled this shit in fifth year.” It always put you on edge to see him this serious, but you had to remind yourself that sometimes he was serious for his own sake. You knew later tomorrow he’d be back to his joking self, all the guys would. Lilly would go back to rolling her eyes with Remus, Sirius would go back to being a flamboyant flirt, and you would go back to starting your own little troubles and pranks.

‘It always went this way’ is what you reminded yourself. You could hear it now, James and Sirius would come crashing in, cheering and laughing about how stupid Death Eaters were. Lily would giggle, James would scoop her up in a hug and a kiss. Remus would look tired and drained, but relieved, with a smile you loved to see. Dorcas and Marlene would put on some records and bust out the fire whisky. Sirius would probably let his hair down and start flirting with you. You’d roll your eyes. The two of you would never really take it anywhere. Maybe someday you’d actually flirt back just to see his reaction. Or maybe someday you’d flirt back because maybe you wanted to.

“(y/n).” James pulled you out of your thoughts, you looked up to see him and Sirius glance at each other before he continued, “A few of us have decided that it’d actually be best for you to sit this one out. You can stay back here, maybe be on guard if we need back up, but for tomorrow you’ll stay out of the field,” Something was off about the way he was talking, “Right then. Meeting dismissed-”

“Did Dumbledore tell you that?” You asked, not letting him end the meeting.

“Well…no…” James’s calm and cool demeanor faltered, he seemed nervous.

“Moody?” you quirked an eyebrow, “Surely Moody wouldn’t care about that-”

“Not Moody, no,” he looked down at the table.

“Then why can’t I go?” You asked. You didn’t mean to sound annoyed, but you couldn’t exactly help it.

“Because this mission is to destroy muggle-born records. We’re burning them to make it harder for them to track,” Sirius spoke instead of James, “These records have your name on them, we’d practically be giving you over to them and that doesn’t sound like a very smart idea.”

Remus and Lily looked at eachother. James wouldn’t look up from the table. Marlene and Doras each coughed and looked down at their hands.

“Was this your idea?” You asked Sirius, you had to admit, though you had tried your hardest, some frustration and annoyance seeped into your voice.

“It doesn’t matter, what matters is that we don’t play it stupid,” Sirius’s voice was calm and even, but it didn’t matter, you could feel how strongly he was on the matter.

“When have you ever been about playing it smart, Pads?” You crossed your arms, ignoring Lily, Dorcas, and Marlene as they ducked out of the room.

“Since we’ve been plunged into a war filled with ruthless, murderous biggots.” He spat out the phrase, brows furrowing, “Why do you have a problem with staying safe-”

“Because it’s me they’re trying to kill. It’s people like me and Lilly and I don’t want to stand on the sidelines while others protect me!” It was getting harder and harder to deny that you were yelling, “How come you aren’t making Lily stay back?”

“Lily didn’t have a dangerously close encounter with Bellatrix last month!” Sirius shouted, “Don’t think I haven’t forgotten about how close she was to getting her hands on you! I know her, and if she sees you you’re the only target she’ll have and she won’t stop until you’re tortured to-” He cut himself off, taking a moment to keep his composure, “You’re staying here. We’ll be back here tomorrow.”

James and Remus left the room quietly, but you wouldn’t let Sirius out of your sight, “If you think…If you think that for a second I’m going to let that bitch scare me then you’re wrong. You’re wrong Pads and I won’t let you stop me. You can’t hold me back. We’ve planned this out. Hell, I’ve planned this out-”

“I don’t care!” He had given up on trying to stay calm, “I don’t care how strong you think you are, I won’t let my cousin get her wretched hands on you!” He pounded his hands on the table. A little too harshly, you figured, his rings probably leaving the wood dinged up.

“And I don’t care how bold and protective you’re trying to be! Don’t think I didn’t sign up for this oblivious to the possibility of death! This is bigger than me, Sirius!” You used his name, his actual name. You hardly ever said it out loud, “It’s for the whole world.”

The two of you stood there for a moment in seething silence.

“I’m going to bed,” He muttered, walking past you.

“No you aren’t! Not until-”

“I’m going to bed.” He interrupted you, his voice loud and firm. He refused to look at you as he walked through the doorway, his head turned over his shoulder, but he didn’t look at you, “You should do the same.”

You all went to bed that night, having crashed once again at James’ family house. James and Lily shared a room, Marlene and Dorcas shared another room, Remus and Sirius each took one of the guest rooms, and you volunteered to sleep on the couch.

Though you didn’t really sleep. You didn’t care what Sirius had said, you were going to go with them. That’s what you hated about this stupid, stupid war. You were the one at risk, not only as a member of the Order but also as a muggle born. You were one of the people they were always out trying to kill. It wasn’t like the others, not like Sirius or James, who would be killed with hesitation (it’d be a shame to see pure blood be spilled), but you would be killed without a second thought. You were the scum of the earth You-Know-Who wanted to be wiped clean.

This meant sometimes it felt like the group was walking on eggshells around you and Lily. But Sirius was right, the difference between you and her was the last mission you all went on. You had managed to get Bellatrix cornered, even nearly took her wand before you all had to make your escape. She was crazy, so she’d only be coming after you with an extra sense of vengeance. But you’d be ready.

You’ d have to be.

The next morning was the same as every morning before a mission, if you could even call it morning. You all woke up ready long before the sun came up. It was the best plan for a raid like this; break in while there would be minimal guards and others were sleeping, catch them when they weren’t ready, incinerate the records, then collect part of the ash and dispose of it so no one could recreate any lists from the ashes left behind. You didn’t exactly need seven people to pull it off, but no one ever went off alone.

You all gathered around the table again, dawning your boots, coats, and wand holsters. The others stood in silence, not saying anything about how you were there even after last night. Lily offered you a pity-filled smile as she pulled her hat over her head. Sirius didn’t say anything, but you knew he was digging his nails into the sleeves of his jacket.

“Alright, Dorcas, Marlene and I will burn the records, Lily, Moony, and Padfoot, you all cover us and keep watch. Remember who you’re responsible for-” James began. You dug into him with your stare before he finally gave in, swallowing before adding, “(y/n), you’re with Lils, Moony and Pads.”

Remus put his hand on your shoulder and squeezed, Lily nodded at you. They both understood how passionate you were about this. Hell, they knew you’d take down You-Know-Who himself if you could. But Sirius refused to look at you. His jaw clenched and he looked like was going to claw the sleeves of his jacket to shreds. But he didn’t say anything. No one said anything as you all circled up, joining your hands like you did before every mission.

This mission would be just fine. You’d done this dozens of times.

You noticed Sirius made a point of not standing next to you, so you took Remus and Lily’s hands in yours. You looked over to James, as leader for this mission, he would be the one to apparate, bringing you all with him.

It only took a moment, the seven of you popping into the library of some Death Eater’s mansion. In an instant, you whipped out your wand, knocking out a Death Eater before they could react.

“Right then,” Remus whispered, “We might need to move quicker than we thought.” He silently spelled all your shoes from making noise as you ran through the hallway. You could feel the blood pumping in your ears.

You all wove through the shelves of the library as you heard Dorcas whisper, “Accio records.” James held up his hand, catching it mid-air as it came flying towards you all. It took a while to magic up a fire that dealt permanent damage, but it moved faster with more than one person. The three of them gathered around the stack of papers, whispering incantations as you began to smell smoke. You, Lily, Remus and Sirius circled around them, your backs to theirs with your wands at the ready. Things were going smoothly, you even started to feel things would be over before you knew it.

Then you heard it. A quiet cackle from the other side of the library.

“Did little cousin bring his friends to play?”

You looked over at Lily, eyes wide. You looked back to Sirius, who only gripped his wand tighter.

“C’mon silly little Siri, you don’t want to come out and play?”

She cooed. You could practically hear the pout in her lips and the way she ran the tip of her wand over the spines of the old books lining the shelves, “You did bring your friends, didn’t you? Is your little girlfriend with you? I was so sorry to see her go before we were finished with our last playdate.”

At this, Sirius looked over at you. It wasn’t anger in his eyes, but fear. To your surprise, he reached out for your hand, taking a moment to glance back at James. James looked at him, not saying a word, but shaking his head furiously. This seemed to upset him, and the two of them took a moment in silent conversation filled with nothing but pursed lips, wide eyes, furrowed brows, and violent jerkings of their heads.

“You know I know you’re here, I know you’re all here,” Bellatrix drawled out, her footsteps getting closer. Sirius grabbed your hand and squeezed, looking over at Lily and Remus before nodding. The four of you held your wands at the ready, spells resting just behind your lips.

The footsteps drew closer before stopping, her bubbling laugh seemed to echo all around you, like it was playing through a speaker and not like she was lurking somewhere close by.

“We’re nearly done,” Marlene whispered to you as Dorcas pulled a vial from her bag, gathering ashes.

“What was that?” You heard Bellatrix’s voice echo, “Going so soon?”

Your heart sank. As James gathered ash into his own vial, Lily and Remus moved to stand by their sides and joined hands. You and Sirius however, both stood guard, his hand not letting you go. Though he kept his eyes fixed ahead of him, he ran his thumb along the back of your hand.

She leapt out between the shelves. Her a wild mess, her eyes wide, her dress torn. She threw back her head and let out a cackle before looking you dead in the eye and whispering.

“Boo.”

Sirius didn’t hesitate to start throwing spells at her, and she didn’t hesitate to deflect them.

“You really think I’d fall victim to your itsy bitsy hexes? You know your mother always loved me more,” she rolled her eyes.

“Prongs! Take the others and get out of here!” Sirius shouted over his shoulder.

“No not without you!” James shouted back. But it was too late, Bellatrix brought her wand back, an evil glint in her eye as she prepared to cast a spell. Remus reached out for James' hand and apperated. You and Sirius were left behind.

“Sectumsempra!” She screamed, launching a spell at Sirius.

It was a split second, but time seemed to slow down. You tugged Sirius behind you and threw yourself forward, the spell hit you right in the chest. You couldn’t hear Bellatrix’s squeal of glee, or Sirius screaming your name. All you felt was agony ripping its way across your chest, and the room spinning before you reappeared on the floor of the Potter’s kitchen.

Things felt warm and wet and sticky. Someone screamed, it might have been Lily. Sirius was whispering something, it may have been to you, or maybe it was an incantation. Your eyes began to flutter when he shook you by the shoulders, “Not today, (y/n). Stay with me. Stay with me. Not today.”

“I told you…” you coughed, and you felt something splutter up from your lips. Were you drooling? How embarrassing, “I told you I should go,” You wiped your mouth, deep crimson staining the back of your hand, “That would have gone right at you, Pads.”

“I know, sweetheart,” he whispered, tossing his wand aside as you heard others start whispering things, “I know. You’re so brave. You’re so damn stupid but you’re being so brave for me.” You recognized some of the words in the room; a cleaning spell, a healing spell, but most of all you recognized Sweetheart.

“Awwww, Padfoot! Are you in love with me?” You giggled through the pain, the only thing feeling lighter than your heart was your head. And, though your vision was tunneling, you couldn’t take your eyes off his gorgeous gorgeous face, “You’re pretty, did you know that? Your hair is beautiful, it makes my chest hurt,” you wheezed out, becoming more aware of the pain in your chest, “Pads my chest hurts.”

“I know it does, Love. We’re doing our best.” His smile began to falter as his eyes flitted from you to your body, “Just a little bit longer, things will be all better.”

“Did we do it?” Your voice was weak and you held out your hand to look at it again, red streak drying and feeling crusty, “We did it, right?”

Sirius gripped your hand without a second thought, “Of course we did, darling,” He began to wipe your mouth with a damp rag, “The records are gone, we made it back safe, you’re going to be ok.” He looked up and took something from someone’s hand, “Could you drink this for me, beautiful?” he said, holding a small bottle up to your lips.

You nodded wearily before taking a drink. It was bitter, and you tried your best not to cough it up. It burned the back of your throat as you swallowed, but the pain in your chest subsided, “Pads you can’t kiss me,” you gagged, sitting up more as you came to your senses, “That was bloody awful and-”

You were cut off by two hands in your hair and your lips pressed hard against his. You closed your eyes, hands finding their way to his shoulders to keep you from falling back on the floor. A few pairs of footsteps shuffled out of the room, with a couple of giggles and a groan from Remus.

“I’ll find a way to work around it,” Sirius whispered to your lips with a smile, “Do you feel better?”

You began to look away from his face and down at your body, but his lips caught yours in another kiss before you had the chance, “It’s best if you don’t look, darling. Let’s go find you a change of clothes.”

He scooped you up, letting your head rest on his shoulder, “Is all this just to distract me from what happened, or do you really like me, Sirius Black?” your voice was soft, but tinged with an unmistakable hint of surprise as he walked out of the kitchen.

“Gorgeous, that potion tasted so awful I wouldn't have kissed you if this wasn’t love,” he chuckled before pulling your lips to his again as music began to play in the next room over.

(a/n) Thank you for reading everyone! I didn't know who to tag in this, and hopefully, soon I can get a tagglist form out for people to use. The next school term starts soon, so my stories may have some time in between them, but since I've had more people give me requests, hopefully I can keep writing even if it's shorter stuff. Go drink some water and remember you're loved <3