#//but yet hes selfish right?
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Could you imagine? Being secluded, tortured and used for decades, tying your hardest to keep everything and everyone you're responsible for going, even though it was meant to be an impossible task from the start? Spending half of that time coming up with a plan to finally get out of it, a plan so thought out it would save both you and the two other mecha you care about as well. Being so happy that after so much hard work this little vile of disease you synthesized along with you elaborate plan was finally gonna get you free-
Then your fuckin ex and his boy toy shows up trying to get you to join their gang and ruins every bit of it trying to play hero?? Yeah, I'd try to kill him too.
#//I seen a picture and I just#//sigh#//I wish people would understand his situation before they judge how he reacted#//and how he even made sure it wouldn't effect aid and ambs#//but yet hes selfish right?#//I want to meet the person who wrote his tfwiki so I can kick their ass
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Unpleasant Revelations - DPxDC Ficlet Idea for the Stillborn Au
"Have you met my youngest, Damian, Mr. Masters?"
Its only from twenty years of long, hard experience and practice that Vlad doesn't increase the room temperature from 'borderline uncomfortably cool' to 'unbearably hot' the moment Bruce Wayne pulls his youngest and "only" biological son out in front of him.
He puts only in quotations because twelve year old Damian Wayne looks scarily, uncannily like one Daniel Brown. Jack and Maddie's foster son, second victim of their foolishness, and only other halfa in existence. Second only to him.
It's nauseating how similar they look. From the scowl and terrible glare on the young boy's face, to his brown skin -- which was only a few shades lighter than Daniel's, the shape of his nose, and even the strange winged edge of his eyebrow. Something that Vlad has long since come to find endearing on the child he considered a son of his own. The only difference was that Damian had dark, sharp green eyes.
Daniel's eyes were blue. The same glacier shade as his father's, who stood behind Damian with a proud, oafish smile on his visage.
It was infuriating how similar they look. Vlad might not have rapidly swung the room temperature from one extreme to the other, but he can't stop himself from letting the fury burning within his core from slipping out and raising the temperature up a few degrees.
Because it really only meant one thing.
Damian Wayne and Daniel Brown were related.
Damian Wayne and Daniel Brown were brothers.
Standing in front of him, it was clear as day. He can already picture a phantom image of Daniel standing beside Damian, the same scowl written on his face, the same glare carved into his eyes. The only difference being the dark, exhausted circles beneath them that seemed to be permanently painted onto his skin. The only thing missing being the permanent loneliness and vigilance permeating his being like a scar.
This, if revealed, would be enough to ruin Bruce Wayne's reputation. Or, at the very least, darken it quite a bit. The great philanthropist Bruce Wayne with another secret blood child? One related to his youngest? One that had been put into foster care? Seemingly thrown away?
It would be a firestorm.
One that Vlad is not keen on starting.
It would ruin Bruce Wayne's reputation, yes. But it would hurt Daniel in the process -- the harassment he would face alone might just be enough to break that fragile child completely. That was just not something he could allow. Or, even worse, bring him into his biological father's care and custody -- something Vlad was even less willing to allow.
It's not out of kindness to Wayne that Vlad will keep mum about this.
His grip on his champagne flute tightens, just a bit. He's still aware enough of the world around him to not let it shatter in his hands. His plastered, pleasant smile tightens around the corners, and he forces his focus to slide from Damian to Wayne.
"The resemblance is uncanny, Mister Wayne." He says, slanting his smile to the side slyly. Although he's not talking about the resemblance between Wayne and his son. Rage simmers beneath his skin, burning coal and embers in the core of his chest, nestled between his lungs, as he meets the man's eyes.
Wayne swaggles his head proudly, his ditzy smile widening as he squeezes his son's shoulder affectionately. Bastard, Vlad wants to spit.
He breathes in through his nose, and exhales out through his mouth. The champagne in his hand cools, and stops its unusual bubbling.
The Damian boy scoffs under his breath, his mouth still coiled upward into a scowl. With the revelation of his blood relation to Daniel evident, Vlad's not sure if he should find it endearing or not.
He is not Daniel, so he decides that it's just simply irritating. He decides to ignore it.
"And you said he was your only biological son?" He asks, voice lilting and head tilting. He knows its a suspicious question at worst, insulting at best. But considering Wayne's past proclivities, he can hardly call it an unexpected question.
Damian puffs in great offense, face twisting angrily. It reminds him of Daniel when Vlad insisted that he was wrong about something or other, and for a moment his heart swells, fond.
But this is not his child, and so the feeling quickly crashes and burns, simmering back into rage. This was not Daniel -- this was his replacement. A replacement that Wayne was free to keep.
Wayne chuckles, idiotically, as if he'd said some funny joke. Vlad's other hand, the one gripping his cane -- something he's required ever since he was dispatched from the hospital all those lonely years ago -- tightens instead. He grinds his teeth -- him and Jack Fenton would get along like a house on fire, he hates it.
"I can understand why you'd ask that, Mister Masters," Wayne says, squeezing Damian's shoulder again, "but yes, Damian is my only biological son. Although that doesn't mean I don't love my other children any less."
Bastard.
For all his posturing and flouncing about caring for his city and his children, Vlad never would have thought the Prince of Gotham capable of abandoning one of them.
But, well.
They all have their dark secrets.
And what one man throws away, another man picks up. If Bruce Wayne didn't want the treasure child that was Daniel Brown, then Vlad Masters was more than happy to take him instead.
"I see."
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc au#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc ficlet#dpxdc fanfic#i was hit with this idea two hours ago and was hit with the intrinsic need to write it down#parental vlad masters#protective vlad masters#vlad is currently going 'OH? OH YOU ABANDON AND REPLACE **MY** SON??? MURDER. DEATH. BEES UPON YOUR FAMILY'#but he's also still like. evil. much less of a creep! but evil. so he comes off a bit possessive. which was intentional.#vlad's reaction is kinda valid if it was accurate and bruce DID willingly and knowingly abandon danny. except he didn't. he has no idea#danny is even alive. vlad doesn't know that tho. we all love a good reasonable misunderstanding :]#hc that vlad needs a cane as a human because the ecto-acne that killed him fucked his nerves up a bit as a result and now he's got a bad le#and is also immunocompromised. which had a slight hand in his 20 year isolation thing.#stillborn? no still born au#stillborn danny au#stillborn danny#vlad masters#this may or may not be canon to the au im still thinking about it#vlad acknowledges that danny is formiddable but he's also not wrong that a media shitstorm like that would hurt him considerably.#diamonds are the toughest known material to man and yet it still shatters like glass when put under pressure. vlad's right he's fragile#ummm anyways yeah Vlad finds out first and promptly decides to go 'oh okay so fuck you personally actually. keep your replacement child'#he has No Plans on telling Danny what he learned mostly for the obvious selfish reasons and also bc yeah. this is gonna hurt danny#ITS NOT FUN IF IT ISNT A LITTLE TOXIIIIC#i absolutely know that vlad only swears in deserts which is why its important that i have him call bruce wayne a bastard directly.
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I think people forget with Cullen, and characters like Cullen, that indoctrination is a thing. We're lucky to live in an age where we have a surplus of access to resources that allow us to think critically on the structures around us, to the point where we overlook that most people won't and haven't. Cullen was raised in a backwater village where the main educators and leaders were Templars. He was likely taught scripture by Chantry Sisters, he possibly learned to read and write through them. From the day he was born, he was being taught to love and obey the Chantry with out question--and the Chantry teaches that Templars are a force of good.
So I ask you, how the hell was Cullen, at eight or thirteen years old, going to learn about the crimes of Templars? How was he going to unlearn propaganda that was fed him to him every day by people he respected and possibly loved? How was he supposed to be aware that this idolized image of Templars being the saviors of the people and even mages was a lie?
And then he gets shipped off, happily, to be trained a Templar. Again, he's put into this position where he's fed nothing but propaganda. He doesn't get a real taste of the Order being corrupted until he's out in Kinloch and he's not sure what the hell to do because what he's seeing isn't jiving with what he's been taught for nearly two decades. So yeah, he tries to justify it, he tries to have his cake and eat it too by reasoning that mages should be treated like people but also the Order wouldn't lie to him, so they must be right to act like this. The Maker always had a plan, right?
If Cullen had been lucky, maybe he could have realized earlier on that the Order was abusing mages, that he had been tricked, he could have gotten out and unlearned the bigotry that was planted inside him.
But then BAM! the Broken Circle happened and I don't see how no one gets how perfect this is for the Order? They now have a templar that is so traumatized by mages, he will literally do and say anything to justify their abuses because now? Now he's afraid.
And remember, after Origins, Cullen becomes so erratic, he has to be sent off to a Chantry to 'even him out'--where he was more than likely manipulated even further by the Chantry to be this blood thirsty agent for them. When he's shipped to Kirkwall, they could have not delivered to Meredith a better second in command.
So yeah, is it really surprising that he says shit like 'mages aren't people like you and me' when we meet him in Kirkwall? Man is sleep depraved by the looks of him, swallowing all Meredith's frenzied rhetoric on blood mages, he's seeing for himself the damage these mages are doing, he's isolated from his family, he has no actual friends, and he's living with C-PTSD among other issues. Even under the best of conditions, none of what he says or does in DA2 is surprising when you put it all together.
And yet, the man still had enough of that idealistic child left in him to realize see that Meredith was going off the deep end and that he should be protecting the mages. That's text. That's in World of Thedas. The reason why Cullen is able to turn on Meredith in the end is because he was able to see, even clouded by his fear and hatred, that what she was doing was wrong.
And all this isn't to excuse Cullen's wrongs. It's weird how every time someone brings up Cullen's history, it's assumed that it's just a justification for his actions. It's not, it's an an explanation. Cullen was a victim of the Order that became an abuser, a tool, and he is responsible for his actions.
But the thing is, by DAI, Cullen is well aware of his sins and he actively works to better himself by leaving the Order and getting off lyrium (which for most people is a death sentence). People can argue all day about whether or not Cullen's arc in DAI redeems him or was satisfying, or if he did enough to 'prove' that he was sorry or--good god--does he deserve redemption in the first place (which is such a Catholic way of looking at shit by the way; no one 'deserves' redemption; you do it to be better or you fucking don't) but the fact is that Cullen says that he wants to be better, that he sees the Order as--at the very least--flawed.
That, yes, he's still unlearning all the bigotry he held as a younger man and he's ashamed that he was like that to begin with.
You can hate him all you like, and whatever, but Cullen's story--intentionally or not--is about a man born into an oppressive society, raised to uphold its beliefs, used and abused by it, and then awakening to those lies and trying to free himself from those beliefs so he could be a better person.
And sometimes I genuinely wonder if the reason so many people hate Cullen is because they themselves might have dealt with something similar in our own oppressive society where they also had to unlearn harmful bigotry and maybe, just maybe, he hits too close to home.
#cullen rutherford#writing#this about this guy again and how he gets such an unfair shake when I know for a fact a good portion of us are no better#you can say you are that you would know as a CHILD that this was wrong but hahaha I guess some of us aren't able to see through propaganda#man is nuanced as hell and the statements 'Cullen was a victim who was brainwashed by the Chantry' and 'Cullen is a grown man who actively#hurt mages for his own selfish reasons' can co exist quite easily#you know like how Blackwall also killed an entire family for money and yet has spent years trying to atone for that mistakes#anyway I'm right get out of my house
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i’ve never been as angry on behalf of a character as i am for sam winchester
#currently thinking about season four and five. absolutely fuckibg mental#the world literally reshapes itself around him to prove him wrong#its all framed as God. Sam was so stupid and selfish and reckless for drinking demon blood. He just liked the power of it and he chose a#DEMON over DEAN.#but. that’s not the story they tell in s4.#like even aside from every single other complexity. Sam is literally right. he has ZERO WAY of knowing that killing lilith is the final seal#AND DEAN DOESNT KNOW TJAT EITHER. like sam is literally right he can kill lilith and he does kill lilith. dean wants lilith dead just as#much. sam’s cardinal sin is disobeying dean and then the world flips around on him and plot twist sam and dean were both wrong all along and#killing lilith is what will bring back lucifer :)#but. it’s not framed like that either. it’s framed like SAM BROUGHT BACK LUCIFER BY KILLING LILITH WHILE HIGH ON DEMON BLOOD#dean you wanted to kill lilith too?????????#but. doesn’t matter dean despite being mostly motivated by jealous anger is retroactively proven to be Right#and sam is retroactively proven to be Wrong. he is bad#i just. jesus. sam’s not evil ever. he’s hardly even that fucking morally grey#and he still thinks there’s something wrong with him that he’s a freak that he’s inherently evil and needs to be purified#why?? cause of something fucked up that happened to him when he was a baby#and because he’s disobeyed his father and his brother and been angry at awful things that have happened to him#makes me feel fucking insane actually#no wonder narrative frames sam as evil no wonder he’s inherently marked as Bad by the forces in supernatural like even on a meta level#in supernatural gods just another shitty father. embodiment of the familial patriarch. and from sam’s very first moment on the show he’s in#opposition to that he’s ran away from john and he argues with dean. therefore he is evil#i don’t think my words r really making sense right now but. fucking hell#and sam is so swamped in guilt all of season five and he just fucking accepts that everything bad is his fault#and he gets tortured in the cage to save the fucking world and it’s STILL not enough. not to appease his own guilt and not to appease deans#anger at him. dean is still throwing his perceived violations back at him in like season nine!!#and whenever he tries to get out it’s treated as yet another Sin. narrative acts like sam thinking dean was dead and having a life outside#of hunting is The Worst Thing He Ever Did#worst sin sam ever commits in the eyes of the show is disobedience. Absolutely awful actually#spn#sam winchester
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i've been getting a lot of comments on my post about how the writers have "ruined" jace and rhaenyra's relationship. but. my guys. it's never been a good or healthy relationship anyway! or at least it hasn't been for the past six years since jace found out he wasn't laenor's son. this hasn't happened to me but i can imagine it's difficult to have a truly good relationship with someone who has lied to you from the start and who /to this day/ still doesn't dare admit the truth. it's not a lie to say rhaenyra and jace love each other but it's not a lie either to say rhaenyra doesn't respect jace and is unable to put himself in his shoes, while jace resents her and is just now realizing she has more than a bit of guilt on all that has been tormenting him.
they both have put an opaque screen in front of them and through it they've been interacting and seeing each other since harwin died. jace's just barely realizing he has one and it's cleaning the glass while rhaenyra has known it since the beginning and doesn't wish it to go away. it's a really complex relationship but to say it's only /now/ that's been ruined when in most of their interactions rhaenyra is shutting him down or gaslighting the hell out of him......... sorry i just don't see it.
#jacaerys velaryon#rhaenyra targaryen#jacaerys x rhaenyra#this has been a post#and i understand rhaenyra!!!!! which is why i think it's truly so awful that they love each other and yet can't actually#have a real conversation in any way that matters. there's a war on and rhaenyra must act in certain way and do certain stuff and i think#jace understands this deep down but he can't take it anymore!#rhaenyra is asking jace to trust her. she practically told him that if he only waited until she won the throne then she can deal with jace'#inheritance issue. to /trust her/ but it's too much for jace. he can't truly trust her anymore.#i liked that he decided to snub the dragonseeds as his one selfish act but next episode he's sitting at her right side#he's mad but he can't leave her! my ruler is my mother and i would not wish it otherwise.#because he /can't/ imagine it otherwise#kill meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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As much as I joke, I should note that I don't actually see Bill as a sweet little innocent baby who couldn't do no harm.
It's hard to explain but: Do I still feel bad that I now know he didn't intend to destroy his dimension and carries that grief, and that truly he's a desperate person trying to find him and his friends a home to stay in so they don't disintegrate when the edge of the world approaches them? Yeah. Does that mean id be totally fine if he had taken over earth and turned it into the nightmare realm? HELL NO! Get that dorito bastard away from my dirt!!!
Do I feel bad that he's suffering in theraprism? Kinda, yeah. Do I find it hilarious that he's suffering in theraprism. Absolutely. Is that a question? That's fucking awesome. These coexist simultaneously in my mind.
#gravity falls#bill cipher#book of bill#book of bill spoilers#its hard to say he got what he deserved because#he was kinda a victim of circumstance?#like I wanna say “he didn't have to try and show his dimension his visions”#but as someone who relates to characters who desperately feel they have to prove the world they see to others#i cant say his actions are *entire* selfish and that hes awful for that#and then from that moment on hes on the run#looking at it that way you can see all the justifications he made to himself#“if im being chased by the law anyway why not break a few more interdimentional laws?”#“well if we stay here were gonna die so i might as well steal the home of SOME dimension right?”#“im just a guy trying to survive out here. i gotta make a living somehow”#yet still. knowing hes kinda a victim of circumstances he still chose to be cruel#i still judge him for destroying what never belonged to him in a desperate attempt for attention and control#which is kinda why a second chance and therapy is great for him#finally he wont have those circumstances and hes being forced to learn from his actions and change#...still hilarious though HJRBDJJYG#hes so upset in therapy its so funny omg
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I feel bad for Starlo.
Star has a point, idk what the four were ticked off about, there is like 99% chance everyone willingly participated in the trolley problem, based on what we've seen of his behavior thus far it's not like Starlo to be that big of a jerk/drag them by force/yell at them to do it. Ed's words:
he does it because Star asks NICELY
clearly jealous
It genuinely seemed like a fun time/fun roleplay, especially since every day is the same. Like, the five are supposed to be a rowdy and adventures bunch, what exactly did Starlo do wrong, I'm genuinely confused and curious. Except taking a big liking in Clover (his posse should know that this is a big moment for him, according to Blackjack they've known each other since high school and had the same liking for westerns. So they were basically a nerd gang.) Starlo was kind, patient and considerate towards Clover the whole time, even warned Mooch about them not being bandits, taught Clover gun safety, wanted to bring his posse along for a fun time, thanked Ace for telling him about getting Clover a new hat...
Sure, at first he only liked Clover for being a human, but as Ceroba says, that changed and he grew to genuinely care about them, plus I can't help but think Star saw himself in Clover and that's part of the reason he was so proud of them all the time even when they messed up (I'll talk more about this at some point)
What exactly made Ace want to leave the gang? He even said how he doesn't mind "getting run over by the fake train"
he's so nice. says sorry for forgetting the safety goggles even when he was scatterbrained due to his excitement. I love him so much
The only real "faults" (I'll call them temporary faults) I saw in Star during the Wild East section was that he was even more enthusiastic and more proud than usual. But how couldn't he be when he met a member of the species that he has admired for so long because they have real cowboys and sheriffs on the surface (who are seen as brave heroes who deliver justice, while Star canonically feels like a nobody farmer). His posse should have realized Clover wouldn't be there forever and just let their boss enjoy himself with his "deputy who'd have to leave sooner or later anyway"(or be more patient with him/ask him why he feels this strongly towards Clover/if there's a deeper reason for that). His friends including Ceroba just turn their back on him so quickly instead. The moment he's gotten the chance to feel valued for once and put himself first and not have to take care of this whole town and everyone in it and live his dream of meeting a real human, suddenly "his personality is damaged?"
Star's literally built this whole town, organised everything, he worries about everyone, Ceroba (plus was the one to give her emotional strength before and after Clover's sacrifice), Kanako, the monsters, his family, struggles with feelings of worthlessness yet never wipes that smile off his face, always does his best to be hopeful and optimistic and make others laugh, gave his posse a nap time so they don't become exhausted, gave Ceroba a free home, didn't act upon his feelings towards her and was a 110% supportive, caring friend instead. THAT'S who he is. He's the papa bear of this friend group, the glue holding everyone together.
He was just *really* excited. Y'all know he's insecure and just wishes to escape who he is and yet y'all blame him for liking Clover so much. Yeah, the four are very clearly jealous. But why won't the four of you control your feelings for a while? As mentioned, Clover WILL HAVE TO LEAVE EVENTUALLY. They won't be Star's "deputy" forever (the kid who's just as into westerns as he is, who values justice just as much, who also values doing the right thing. Someone he clearly felt understood in the presence of, whom he loved; just look at the way he talks about Clove during Showdown). Star seems genuinely confused of what he did wrong poor guy just wanted to live his fantasy for once and feel important:
Even at the beginning Moray's like "oh no Martlet is upset" Mooch replies "don't be a buzzkill nothing exciting ever happens around here" and Ray's like "Yeah you've got a point"
If you all agreed to have a little fun with a human who will very soon leave forever why is Starlo's enthusiasm such a big problem? If the posse weren't into this after all (unless they were simply too jealous which could have been solved with a honest talk and a little patience) why are you doing this "rowdy" job with Star in the first place? Do you want your boring routine day to day life so much back? Or just for Clover to leave (which they will soon enough)? You, western enthusiasts, literally met a real human, A HUMAN FROM WESTERNS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PASSIONATELY INTO (clearly not as passionate as Star but passionate ENOUGH to understand where he's coming from).
... okay.
#Like idk if I'm being biased because Star is my favorite character but I kinda just started thinking more and more about this and... yeesh.#Felt like a BIT of an overreaction to blame Starlo this much#No wonder he cracked#and unlike with Ceroba we actually see him do his very best to “fix” what he did “wrong”#i feel so much sympathy for this guy man#WAY more than for Ceroba#sorry fox lady#uty#undertale yellow#starlo uty#uty starlo#like dude literally had to come crawling on his hands and knees for them to forgive him#what “loyal” “supportive” friends they all are#sobbing for star#poor poor man#meanwhile everyone forgave ceroba for much much MUCH worse#she didn't need to burst into tears and beg for forgiveness even though she SHOULD have#everyone forgives her immediately on the spot + she gets a hug from clover#I'm sorry Starlo#like how was he “selfish” and “reckless”#he did something for himself for the 1st time in his life#y'all are reckless too btw#you put yourself first ONCE and they call you selfish#Star had the right to be mad at them for attacking Clover for no reason other than jealousy#wdym he's throwing you around for human business you literally wanted this#he watched the tapes more than 50 times bc that's how much he hates himself#and yet he's still been doing EVERYTHING in his power to be there for EVERYBODY
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"goodsir is neoliberalism bc he tried to kill those guys blah blah blah" they kidnapped him and then they made him cut up men to be consumed as an act of control and pure humiliation by threatening to kill probably the last man he still liked in that party, forcing him to be complicit in an act he is viciously against, and to be complicit in the survival of the very men who betrayed the whole expedition and who are using him like a tool. and then the guy he's trying to protect comes up to him to sob and monologue at him about cannibalism and religion and acts of survival and belief as some kind of justification for the fact that he's an absolute pussy ass bitch who'd rather lie down and take it than stand up in the face of acts and circumstances he finds abhorrent. and goodsir was supposed to not be a cunt abt that? lol
#it's so important that in ep 1 we see him trying to argue with stanley bc he doesn't want to cut into young bc he asked him not to#and stanely is like. cut into him you loser. and like he does it but he really doesn't like it bc young specifically asked for the opposite#it's desecration of his last wishes#and then in the mutineers camp he is forced to cut into someone again when he absolutely does not want to#he doesn't want to be complicit in the cannibalism and he doesn't want to help the mutineers#which hickey knows. so he uses the act of cutting up the bodies as an act of humiliation#just as stanley standing there like a hardass doing fuck all except be an ass only you know. worse.#so often when goodsir tries to do what he thinks is right someone with more power tries or does prevent him to do so#and the comparison to stanley burning everyone as a mercy kill doesn't hold up for me bc at that point so much just has not happened yet#completely different situations. at carnivale stanley has lost hope where everyone else still has at least some of it#at mutiny camp there's a couple men who betrayed everyone else out of arrogance and selfishness#and hickey gets off on humiliating those who he thinks think are better than him. hodge for his previous position. goodsir for his morality#like goodsir was not needed to cut into those bodies. and he knows he isn't he deadass says that.#the only reason hickey makes him do it is bc he needs to humiliate him.#brother id be so fucking mad id start killing everyone too#the terror#harry goodsir#it's like listen i get where the argument is coming from. but also i think this is a very understandable thing to do from his perspective
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Absolutely. Obsessed with whatever episode 7 was. Who let Skizz and Tango do that. Who let them parallel Last Life like that. Also Gem being terrifying is so good I'm quite obsessed with her this series.
And uh. Tiny little doodle of the best base in the series. I'm not crying what r u talking about.
(reblogs with tags/comments appreciated. Thankyu)
#secret life smp#trafficblr#secret life spoilers#SLSMP#SL spoilers#tangotek#skizzleman#geminitay#tw blood#tw fire#ask to tag#germ draws#germdraws#god i will think about skizz actually being selfish A LOT. like#this is the same guy who dies for his loved ones all the time but the one time he has ever gotten the boogey curse HE HURT. TANGO. AND IVE#NOT SEEN A LOT OF PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT IT#BUT IT MAKES ME INSANE AS SOMEONE WHO LIKES LL SKIZZ N TANGO AN UNHEALTHY AMOUNT#like...how do u think tango felt. yet again being turned on by someone in his team due to a boogey curse. and its worse here bc#skizz would NEVER....right?#yea tangos gonna have trust issues again#AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW SKIZZ FINALLY GOT BOOGEY CURSED AND IT#WASNT EVEN RANDOM CHANCE#IT WAS TARGETED. IT WAS FORCED UPON HIM AGAINST HIS WILL. NOT TO MENTION HE ALSO WENT RED#BAD COMBO
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One of my fav versions of Codywan is with Cody who serves absolute darcyesque cunt. I'm talking Cody who maybe falls a little bit in love-at-first sight with his general and panics and absolutley overcompensates with strict professionalism to the point of rudeness. Who shores up his vulnerabilities like defenses on a battlefield and takes to protecting them with the same gusto he applies battlefield tactics to.
A cup of tea with the general? Surely he has better things to be doing with his time. There's an army to run. (He's never wanted to say yes to anything more in his life.)
The first time he recovers Obi-Wan's lightsaber he brusqueley returns it with a stern warning about irresponsibility. (He stays up that night remembering it's weight in his hand, how it almost felt happy to be there?)
And then wearing down inevitably, waves against the shore, worn down to smoothness until they fit together perfectly and it's just. Oh. Where do we go from here.
Just. Them falling in love without meaning to. Them falling in love without wanting to! Can love bloom! Even on a battlefield!
#codywan#anyway. cody eventually confesses in the rain during a campaign and says he loves obi-wan most ardently#but they cant be together right now so they table it and then. cody arrives in the surise one day on tattoine. anyway. ANYWAY.#the tension between the personal and the professional RACHTED ALL THE WAY UP WITH REPRESSION#YESSSS#the choice between duty and happiness and the realizarion that one can in fact exist with the other#that sacrifice doesn't have to come at the expense of all that you are that there can be happiness too#a reckoning between the selfish and the selfless and realizing that it isn't so black and white for the either of them#falling in love through devotion. through a mirror. NOT WANTING TO BE IN LOVE AND YET.#and yet...#insane codywan ramblings again. pay me no heed.#sw
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My favourite detail in OOTP is when Harry finds Sirius at the dining hall Crookshanks is curled up in his lap. Like he’s surrounded by people screaming at him about “Dumbledore’s instructions”, not allowed to go outside cause the ministry and Death Eaters are gunning for him, he’s being called irresponsible and reckless and he’s brushing it all aside cause boy does he know how to deal with people screaming at him in this house, any regardless: he’s still got Crookshanks. He’s got Buckbeak and they remain Sirius’ first and last line of defence
Harry felt something brush against his knees and started, but it was only Crookshanks, Hermione’s bandy-legged ginger cat, who wound himself once around Harry’s legs, purring, then jumped onto Sirius’s lap and curled up. Sirius scratched him absentmindedly behind the ears as he turned, still grim-faced, to Harry.
Harry did not mention his vague suspicions to Sirius, whose cheerfulness was evaporating fast now that Christmas was over. As the date of their departure back to Hogwarts drew nearer, he became more and more prone to what Mrs. Weasley called “fits of the sullens,” in which he would become taciturn and grumpy, often withdrawing to Buckbeak’s room for hours at a time. His gloom seeped through the house, oozing under doorways like some noxious gas, so that all of them became infected by it.
#Sirius Black#one day I’ll write a thesis about the constant ableist language used to address Sirius in OOTP#one day we’ll talk about JKR passing judgement on trauma and coping with it through fifteen year old Hermione#one day I’ll talk about how OOTP is so severely unempathetic to Sirius#It’ll forever remain ridiculous to me that Sirius of all people is the story’s biggest example of tell don’t show. he’s not irresponsible#he’s not selfish#yet we’re told so#again and again#by Molly and Hermione#and it’s consistently in a patronising arrogant way from people who could not even hope to understand what he’s been through#I think it’s particularly telling that no one offers to HELP Sirius. to do anything. in OOTP#JKR’s ableism in her language and connotations with the way people speak of Sirius says So Much#her tell don’t show works consistently against her in that the narrative validates Sirius.#in the end he is right. but it doesn’t matter anymore cause he’s dead
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every time i start to think things might be looking up with my dad some bullshit happens that makes the guilt kick right back in again
#thots et al#googles 'is it possible to save your father'#he was just starting to get more exercise and feel healthier and he says he broke his toe???#i just dont know what to do man#i already blame myself for his most recent episode because i didnt care for him enough#and im gonna blame myself for whatever happens next too#because every day i go around knowing full well my father is miserable and alone but being too selfish to care enough to visit#i just finally made a date with him too#idk man#lately not a lot makes me full-on cry but thinking of him is so fucking painful im always crying over him#i wish i knew how to deal with this#i wish i didnt have so many good memories of him despite the bad cuz then i wouldnt care#and yet... i dont care... do i?#because if i did i would do something. right?#at least thats what people say#ive never exactly understood this sort of thing#i think nothing is more terrifying than the physical degradation of old age-- nothing else scares me so much about it#but eventually you grow old and there is no one left#yet still the young shun you#yet still your own daughter shuns you
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thinking about Dan in CFAU and just how different he needs to be (in my opinion) in order for Danny's whole thing to work. Canon Danny with Dan's influence, would never even consider thinking of killing anyone even after losing people close to him because he'd be scared of becoming like him. CFAU Danny however has been festering in this hurt and anger for years and wants the Joker dead and is plotting it. I don't think he'd do that with Dan's influence.
I explained how Rath came to be in this post here. Things happened in TUE as normal -- Danny's family dies, he lives with Vlad, Vlad rips out his ghost half. The difference here is that not only was Danny in a grieving state (something exclusive to banshees that the post goes into) but he also doesn't end up fusing with Vlad.
What happens instead is that Danny's ghost half, consumed already with grief and now enraged by being murdered and lied to by Vlad, destroys him completely and disappears into the ghost zone. He traps himself unintentionally in a negative feedback loop of grief, and as a human spirit banshee, cannot mentally handle the constant agony and sorrow he's experiencing. What happens is that he ends up driving himself insane with misery.
So the difference here, ultimately, between Dan and Rath, is that at the end of the day; Dan is fully aware of his actions. He knows what he's doing is wrong, and delights in it. He acknowledges his lack of humanity and feels no remorse in doing what he does.
Rath? He's... not. Not really. Dan is a hulking mass of muscle; tall, towering, terrifying. He loves what he does and does what he loves. Rath, however, appears as a scrawny young boy in raggedy clothes far too big for him, hunched in on himself while dirty, unkempt hair curtains his face and hides whatever he doesn't have ducked down in his curled-in form.
Rath is locked in a constant, unending state of sorrow and misery. He, for lack of better words, is unable to perceive the world around him properly and lashes out terribly and violently at anyone or anything that catches his attention. The only thing that he knows is that his family is gone, his other half is gone, that everyone he loves is gone, gone, gone.
He is a zombie apocalypse wrapped up in the form of a malnourished child, wandering the world in search of people who are not there, and becomes furious if you're not them. He is constantly crying, but he's been crying for so long that he's all but lost his voice. Meaning anyone trying to keep an ear out for him has to listen for soft, pained gasps and quiet whimpering, and wonder if the sound they're hearing are hurt survivors, or the very thing they're running from.
As a result, Rath's influence on Danny isn't that he's scared of doing something bad and becoming like him. He's scared of losing control of himself and dooming himself and others to eternal misery. As a result, he's adamant that things that he's done were not done out of pure emotion, but were active choices he made.
Up to and including killing the Joker. There's enough grief and rage behind his views on him that anyone could argue, especially knowing that Danny's a ghost, that he was not in the right mind when he did it. He was blinded by his emotions and was not in the right mental capacity, he had no control over himself. It'd work as a convincing argument.
If it weren't for Danny himself arguing against it. Killing the Joker was a choice he made, fully and willingly. It was autonomous, premeditated murder and he won't accept anything else -- it was not a fit of passion, it was not act of insanity, it was a decision. He won't accept it being anything else but revenge either, and if anyone tries to claim that it was a necessary evil he will yell at them. He didn't do this for the betterment of the public, that was just a fortunate side effect. He did it for himself and Jason. If you wanted it to be a necessary evil, then you should've killed him yourself. It was a selfish evil and he knows it.
In the end, Dan’s existence would prevent Joker’s death. Rath’s existence only solidifies it.
Rath's complete difference from Dan is one of my favorite parts about this au even if he never makes a direct appearance.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc au#childhood friends au#cfau#dead on main#while cfau danny does not believe that killing is the answer to anything and taking a life should not be something done easily the joker is#the only exception to this rule. and that's because much like how danny will never escape his grief because he died with it. he'll never#escape the rage he feels over Jason's murder and the hatred he feels against his killer. he will never not want the joker dead and he will#never not want to rip him apart with his bare hands. but *wanting* and *needing* are two different things. there is still a choice in#danny's hands and in the end he decides that killing him is what he wants to do. it is an inherently selfish evil that is ultimately done#out of love. it's complex and yet so simple. 'you killed my best friend. prepare to die'.#'i could move on but i cannot and i will not. not until this injustice is righted. only then will i find peace'#in the end. jason todd is not the vengeful spirit -- danny is.
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Dr ratio is kind of really interesting to me bc I feel like there's quite a bit going on w him too- I'd love to write about him someday but I'd rather figure out how I characterize him before that
#I'm a strong hater of the “Ratio can't have nous' gaze on him bc he's not selfish and self absorbed”#i dont think he's like insulting everyone in existence just because and just a complete asshole either actually#while i do think Ratio definitely still kind of feels upset about never receiving Nous' gaze#i dont think its so bad that it's bothering him every moment of the day#but ahhh writing about him is different i need to reread stuff about him to make sure im really getting him right#the only reason i haven't yet tbh is bc i kind of 😅 don't know how to imitate his manner of speech That level of English is HARD OKAY#but on that note o might write stelle someday? she'd say skibidi sigma im pretty fluent in that language
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Tag drop: Dorian Pavus
#dorian pavus. [ he says we're alike. too much pride. once i would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. now I'm not certain. ]#dorian pavus: ic. [ you find joy in it not shame. it shows. / why be ashamed? power should be respected. not swept under the carpet. ]#dorian pavus: inquiries. [ stop talking like you're waiting for applause. / what? there's no applause? ]#dorian pavus: countenance. [ i'm here to set things right. also? to look dashing. that part's less difficult. ]#dorian pavus: introspection. [ selfish i suppose. not to want to spend my entire life screaming on the inside. ]#dorian pavus: meta. [ you inspired me with your marvelous antics. you’re shaping the world. how could i aspire to do any less? ]#dorian pavus: little notes. [ living a lie. it festers inside you like poison. you have to fight for what’s in your heart. ]#dorian pavus: etc. [ you can't call me pampered. nobody's peeled a grape for me in weeks. ]#dorian pavus: magic. [ don't your spells whisper things to you? what is and could be? music in the mind of strange faraway places? ]#dorian pavus: inquisition. [ we're going to get lost and starve to death. aren't we? a glorious end for the inquisition. ]#dorian pavus: tevinter. [ despite appearances. we care deeply. about everything. we have no reserve. not in war and not in love. ]#dorian pavus: felix. [ even in illness he was the best of us. with him around you knew things could be better. ]#dorian pavus: gereon. [ we used to talk about how we could make real change in the imperium. then he gave up. he stopped trying. ]#dorian pavus: halward. [ i only wanted what was best for you. / no. you wanted the best for you. your fucking legacy. ]#dorian pavus: aquinea. [ her blame was cold and smothering. never spoken but always present. he couldn't face that. not yet. ]#dorian pavus: inquisitor. [ you have too many people asking you for everything under the sun. i won't be one of them. ]#dorian pavus: solas. [ you startled me. you're always so... nondescript. / please speak up. i cannot hear you over your outfit. ]#dorian pavus: varric. [ what do you think sparkler? ten royals says the next thing we run into farts fire. / taken i win either way. ]#dorian pavus: cullen. [ gloat all you like. i have this one. / are you sassing me commander? i didn't know you had it in you. ]#dorian pavus: cassandra. [ blue scarf? why would i be wearing such a thing? / It's a painting. work with me. it'll be fantastic. ]#dorian pavus: cole. [ you say you're handsome all the time. am i? i can't tell. / you're all right. might want to rethink the hats. ]#dorian pavus: vivienne. [ i received a letter the other day dorian. / truly? it's nice to know you have friends. ]#dorian pavus: blackwall. [ point is. you should let yourself off the hook. i know bad men and you're not one. ]#dorian pavus: sera. [ you magic me: i'll put three arrows in your eye. / now we can live together in peace and harmony. ]#dorian pavus: bull. [ no qunari would accept a tevinter mage unless it was a ruse. when should i expect a knife in the back? ]#dorian pavus: corypheus. [ one of yours? / one of mine? like a pet? a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood? ]
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It's hard being someone who does genuinely get infuriated with Ford's actions and acknowledges a lot of his flaws and the people he hurt, while also liking (and relating) to his character enough that I would like him to have nice things sometimes and don't believe he's satan
#hes not my favorite guy#but i keep having to defend him because every time people talk about him its like “YEAH HES A SHITBAG WHO WANTS TO WATCH HIS BROTHER DIE”#“HED PROBABLY LAUGH IN HIS FACE WHILE HE GETS MAULED BY TIGERS”#when i was reading the fanfic O Brother I too thought he was being overly cruel to poor Stanley (in a way that made sense not an ooc way)#but then he like found out the deity that was his entire life was lying to him and that he hurt people#and that he no longer can SLEEP because hell hurt people again#and he has to figure out the impossible answer of what to do while everyone is upset and untrusting of him#and his best and only friend barely can LOOK at him#and all the comments are like “YEAH THIS IS WHAT HE DESERVES!!! FUCK YOU STANFORD”#meanwhile im over here like “oh my god thats so fucking awful!!! i feel so bad!!!”#like he genuinely has NO ONE right then thats fucking awful#its Jonathan Sims all over again except even the AUDIENCE hates him and like?????? please hes just misguided he does NOT deserve this#stanford pines#ford pines#gravity falls#again let me clarify HES NOT EVEN MY FAVORITE GUY#i obsess over him occasionally but im a Stanley defender through and through AND YET#i keep having to say “guys. hes not as bad as you guys think. and Stan isn't as GOOD as you guys think. GUYS. PLEASE.”#it truly is interesting how different focuses on characters influence the audiences perspective of them SO MUCH#because ngl remember how i mentioned J Sims?#i really feel like Jon and Ford are similar#meddled with deities they didn’t understand. had paranoid tendencies. isolated themselves often. had selfish tendencies.#often rude and abrasive but also had a heart#and again the audience LOVES Jon and hates characters for disliking him#but this audience (which probably is the same people too lol) hate Ford and feel vindicated when characters dislike him
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