#//but it WILL be weird if ST’s The Thing is The Ditto…..

[harteofthehart-ayyy]

Did you know I’ve never actually seen The Thing?? Appalling, I know, I’m not a horror guy… roommate and I are gonna watch it tonight though because he’s not feeling well and we’re inviting Calico over :-]

[kunstmull]

Bauhaus v Buck-Tick

Originally written as an addendum to this great post but it got so long it might as well have its own post.

As much as I keep saying, "I wish I had that deep, decades-long history with Buck-Tick", I do have that ancient connection with Bauhaus / Love and Rockets - I spent a significant part of the 80s obsessively watching Shadow of Light, Archive and The Haunted Fishtank (gee, wonder where Mr. Imai got that word from?)

The first thing that drew me to BT, when I discovered them off an "old Visual Kei" playlist - was that, where other VK / J-rock bands seemed to have Metal as the fundamental building block of their DNA, BT had Bauhaus. (And it's interesting how both bands have such a strange relationship to the genres they spawned - Bauhaus invented Goth as we know it, but very few Goth bands actually sound like Bauhaus - ditto BT and VK.)

But here's the thing: when I went to write this post, I could think of half a dozen BT songs, where I thought "OMG, this is a direct rip of Bauhaus" - but when I went back to the Bauhaus song I thought it imitated to compare them? The BT song was clearly inspired by Bauhaus, I could hear elements of the composition, in particular the visceral, noise-based, non-technical, abuse-the-guitar sound pervert style of Daniel Ash. Bauhaus, inspired by dub reggae and funk, flipped the script around the role of the guitars - in Bauhaus, the bass was the most prominent element, carrying both the groove and the melody, leaving the guitar to occupy a semi-percussion, semi-atmospheric role. In many BT songs, the bass drives the melodic structure, while Hide creates atmospheric waves of sound and Imai punctuates the rhythm with discordant squiggles of noise, playing against what the others are doing. The effect is electric! But it's very Bauhausian.

But again, I can't ever find a Bauhaus song that sounds exactly like what they've done - I can only point out the elements they've lifted and very cleverly repurposed and re-positioned.

Let's start with an early track, Iconoclasm:

Notice how it starts with a discordant, alarm-like guitar siren before the sped-up disco bass joins in? Once the rhythm section get going, it's clear that Imai's siren-guitar guitar is playing against the grain of tight unit of Toll, Yuta and Hide's funk groove. And then the surreal lyrics are strung out over the top in long disjointed segments that form yet another complex interplay with the drums.

Now let's listen to Bauhaus:

-starts with a discordant guitar siren -sped-up funk and bass kick in -surreal strings of lyrics glazed over the top in disjointed segments

They're not even remotely the same song - different chords, different melody - but the building blocks are the same, and they've been assembled in an almost identical arrangement. Other Bauhaus songs that clearly informed this era of BT include the frenetic groove of St Vitus Dance and the withering Small Talk Stinks. (This influence is even more clear in the studio version of Iconoclasm, where you can hear them lift the background voices and double-vocals.)

Did Imai stop his pilfering when they went Cyberpunk? NO, OF COURSE NOT

Now come on, Kunstmull, this sounds nothing like Bauhaus, right? This is much heavier, more doom, more low end.

RONG!

Listen to what Imai is doing the way he's playing, syncopated against the rhythm section with that weird, repetitive, OCD tick-tick tick-SCREE scratch that makes the song so compulsive.

Where have we heard that sound before? Hmmm...

Daniel Ash's rhythm is ever so slightly different - it's SCREE-tick tick tick, but it's syncopated against the rhythm section in exactly the same way. (Also watch out for the gratuitous theremin noises in the background, LOL, Mr. Imai has never used that trick either, has he?)

Obviously the arrangement and feel of Of Lilies And Remains is very different from the BT track - BT are much heavier, much darker, much more intense... oh, kind of like Stigmata Martyr (where Ash is showing how he makes the guitar-string-scratch noise)!

It just shows how creative and how original BT are, that Imai can lift something so distinctive and easily recognisable as Ash's riff, and yet make it wholly their own.

One more and I'll stop I promise, though I could do this all day. This was one of the first BT songs I ever heard, and it stopped me in my tracks, how familiar the arrangement sounded. (And I can't even blame Imai for this - it's a Hide song!)

I know, OK, it's just backwards reverb on the vocals, in particular the little breaths at the end of the chorus (first heard about 1:30) that makes it sound like that?

Where have we heard this effect before?

Well, this is one of my all-time fave Bauhaus tracks (and videos - I cannot tell you how many times I watched this as a teenager, and did silly cosplays intently watching lightbulbs in sunglasses and a grey suit) - listen to the backwards reverb on Murphy's voice during the bridge (about 2:20) and tell me teenage Hide didn't partake of this as deeply as I did.

It's even more pronounced on the dub version of the track, where you can hear how they did the effect in isolation.

I could do this all day!

Now I want to be clear - I am not accusing the band of plagiarism! (Anyway - Talent borrows; Genius steals - and Buck-Tick are clearly on the side of Genius here!) Mostly I'm in awe at their magpie inventiveness, the way they are able to invoke the style, the spirit and the atmosphere of the older Northampton band without ever descending into parody or plagiarism. You can hear that they never sound exactly like Bauhaus - they always sound like Buck-Tick.

But the Homage is very clever, and very appreciated by those who know.

[thegreatestoftheseislove]

this is largely a personal archive to save posts about god/faith that've been cluttering my drafts a bit about me, i'm lena, 21, he/her, genderfluid dyke, leftist. i'm a writer, medstudent, drag artist and several other things but i post about that elsewhere. i'm weird about god, that's the best way i can define myself right now. agnostic, but also questioning. raised without faith, not even baptised, drawn to christianity but also uncertain, constantly oscillating. probably closest to quakers or unitarians in terms of beliefs?? i'm also very interested in the academical study of the bible. i've been studying ancient greek as an elective at uni for a year now, been working my way through the NRSVue and commentaries, and other books about theology, the history of the bible and christianity and so on my favourite saint is st. sebastian - big fan, actually, icon photo of guido reni's st. sebastian was taken by me (ditto header) yeah, that's about it, that's this sideblog i guess

[kunstmull]

Aw, THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS!!!

I'm about to make your Long Post even Longer - because as much as I keep saying, "I wish I had that deep, decades-long history with Buck-Tick", I do have that ancient connection with Bauhaus / Love and Rockets - I spent a significant part of the 80s obsessively watching Shadow of Light, Archive and The Haunted Fishtank (gee, wonder where Mr. Imai got that word from?)

The first thing that drew me to BT, when I discovered them off an "old Visual Kei" playlist - was that, where other VK / J-rock bands seemed to have Metal as the fundamental building block of their DNA, BT had Bauhaus. (And it's interesting how both bands have such a strange relationship to the genres they spawned - Bauhaus invented Goth as we know it, but very few Goth bands actually sound like Bauhaus - ditto BT and VK.)

But here's the thing: when I went to write this post, I could think of half a dozen BT songs, where I thought "OMG, this is a direct rip of Bauhaus" - but when I went back to the Bauhaus song I thought it imitated to compare them? The BT song was clearly inspired by Bauhaus, I could hear elements of the composition, in particular the visceral, noise-based, non-technical, abuse-the-guitar sound pervert style of Daniel Ash. Bauhaus, inspired by dub reggae and funk, flipped the script around the role of the guitars - in Bauhaus, the bass was the most prominent element, carrying both the groove and the melody, leaving the guitar to occupy a semi-percussion, semi-atmospheric role. In many BT songs, the bass drives the melodic structure, while Hide creates atmospheric waves of sound and Imai punctuates the rhythm with discordant squiggles of noise, playing against what the others are doing. The effect is electric! But it's very Bauhausian.

But again, I can't ever find a Bauhaus song that sounds exactly like what they've done - I can only point out the elements they've lifted and very cleverly repurposed and re-positioned.

Let's start with an early track, Iconoclasm:

Notice how it starts with a discordant, alarm-like guitar siren before the sped-up disco bass joins in? Once the rhythm section get going, it's clear that Imai's siren-guitar guitar is playing against the grain of tight unit of Toll, Yuta and Hide's funk groove. And then the surreal lyrics are strung out over the top in long disjointed segments that form yet another complex interplay with the drums.

Now let's listen to Bauhaus:

-starts with a discordant guitar siren -sped-up funk and bass kick in -surreal strings of lyrics glazed over the top in disjointed segments

They're not even remotely the same song - different chords, different melody - but the building blocks are the same, and they've been assembled in an almost identical arrangement. Other Bauhaus songs that clearly informed this era of BT include the frenetic groove of St Vitus Dance and the withering Small Talk Stinks. (This influence is even more clear in the studio version of Iconoclasm, where you can hear them lift the background voices and double-vocals.)

Did Imai stop his pilfering when they went Cyberpunk? NO, OF COURSE NOT

Now come on, Kunstmull, this sounds nothing like Bauhaus, right? This is much heavier, more doom, more low end.

RONG!

Listen to what Imai is doing the way he's playing, syncopated against the rhythm section with that weird, repetitive, OCD tick-tick tick-SCREE scratch that makes the song so compulsive.

Where have we heard that sound before? Hmmm...

Daniel Ash's rhythm is ever so slightly different - it's SCREE-tick tick tick, but it's syncopated against the rhythm section in exactly the same way. (Also watch out for the gratuitous theremin noises in the background, LOL, Mr. Imai has never used that trick either, has he?)

Obviously the arrangement and feel of Of Lilies And Remains is very different from the BT track - BT are much heavier, much darker, much more intense... oh, kind of like Stigmata Martyr (where Ash is showing how he makes the guitar-string-scratch noise)!

It just shows how creative and how original BT are, that Imai can lift something so distinctive and easily recognisable as Ash's riff, and yet make it wholly their own.

One more and I'll stop I promise, though I could do this all day. This was one of the first BT songs I ever heard, and it stopped me in my tracks, how familiar the arrangement sounded. (And I can't even blame Imai for this - it's a Hide song!)

I know, OK, it's just backwards reverb on the vocals, in particular the little breaths at the end of the chorus (first heard about 1:30) that makes it sound like that?

Where have we heard this effect before?

Well, this is one of my all-time fave Bauhaus tracks (and videos - I cannot tell you how many times I watched this as a teenager, and did silly cosplays intently watching lightbulbs in sunglasses and a grey suit) - listen to the backwards reverb on Murphy's voice during the bridge (about 2:20) and tell me teenage Hide didn't partake of this as deeply as I did.

It's even more pronounced on the dub version of the track, where you can hear how they did the effect in isolation.

I could do this all day!

Now I want to be clear - I am not accusing the band of plagiarism! (Anyway - Talent borrows; Genius steals - and Buck-Tick are clearly on the side of Genius here!) Mostly I'm in awe at their magpie inventiveness, the way they are able to invoke the style, the spirit and the atmosphere of the older Northampton band without ever descending into parody or plagiarism. You can hear that they never sound exactly like Bauhaus - they always sound like Buck-Tick.

But the Homage is very clever, and very appreciated by those who know.

Since I've been into Bauhaus for years and B-T members have mentioned them as an influence, going deep into the roots is something I enjoy. I wasn't sure of writing this (long post), but the two bands are really important at a personal level, gonna share some thoughts.

The first time I watched Physical Neurose PV, the aesthetics inmediately reminded me of Telegram Sam MV. Sakurai has mentioned that he enjoyed "Shadow of Light" (1984), an archive with promotional videos of the band. So, it's possible he got some inspiration from it.

Physical Neurose (1988)

Telegram Sam (1980)

Tbh, there are several interviews where Sakurai (love him for being enthusiastic about the band) shows his appreciation for them, their image and Peter Murphy's vocals. He has highlighted Mask and The Sky's Gone Out as important records since he was a teenager.

It is well known that B-T members enjoy post-punk and goth bands, Imai's love for Love & Rockets, and Hidehiko and Yuta have also shown interest in Bauhaus and Peter Murphy's solo albums. They even got Daniel Ash in Schiz.o Genso -the spiderman mix-.

Six/nine videos also make me recall Bauhaus live at Riverside (1982), look at Murphy's outfit, body language, his extravagant dance moves, and the spotlight game. Also, Ash & Murphy dynamics on stage were similar to Atsushi & Hisashi in early performances.

Another example of getting inspiration from the English band might be in the title of "Mr. Darkness and Mrs. Moonlight", which made me remember "Who Killed Mr. Moonlight". Maybe it's a coincidence but as a fan, it didn't go unnoticed.

And of course here, I'm going to mention The Mortal's cover of Spirit <3 (I was very moved when I listened to this cover for the first time).

Gonna add this Bauhaus live version too 'cause it's so good and when you watch The Mortal's live version you can tell that Sakurai has possibly watched this performance at least once.

I recommend to watch that entire show (Gotham, 1999), if you like vampiric costumes, hats and boas.

I'd like to include Hamlet Machine & Sponge Spirit cover, which can be found in the Satori: A Tribute To Bauhaus (1998) album:

I'll finish by saying that Issay & Atsushi went to watch Murphy's live shows together during the 90s, soo lovely! It's cool to see how music connects people and inspires.

[irrealisms]

got tagged by @vascera ! ty :D

answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better

Name: Hearts/Will/Casey/Francis/Kit/Sofia. yes i know this is complicated. im sorry. in my defense it is even worse for me

Sign: ares

Height: 5′5″ if i stand up straight 5′4″ if I slouch

Birthday: april 3

Time: 7:06pm est as of typing this

Favorite band/artists: the mountain goats. theoretically other artists too but in practice the mountain goats

Last movie: it probably says something about how often i watch movies that i genuinely cannot remember.

Last show: uh. ditto. ....prooooobably the Untamed or Hannibal.

What I post: mostly fandom content. which rn is dsmp because I have awful taste. but when i started this blog it was much more religion-heavy and I occasionally think of that in longing before going back to posting my fandom nonsense :’)

Last thing I googled: “beeduo visual novel” (ended up finding it in my tumblr likes lol. link here)

Other blogs: i have a few old blogs ( @weird-together​ , @liminaes , @creepycrawlycrazies , @daywillcomeagain , a couple old sideblogs that I made like one post on and then never used) but I don’t have any other currently active blogs

Do I get asks: occasionally? not often. this is almost definitely worsened by the fact that I reply to significantly less than half of the asks I get. talking is scary guys

Following: 1,232

Average hours of sleep: like. 9 or 10. my night meds Forcibly Knock Me Out. if i don’t take them i will do an allnighter by accident. if i do take them i will sleep like 8-12 hours. if i am woken up before 8 hours after taking my night meds i will simply go back to sleep

Instruments: none. I’m a decent singer though! not professional-level but I did allstate chorus a couple times in middle n high school

What I’m wearing: a magnus archives t-shirt, a flannel, and jeans

Dream job: when I was 4 years old I answered "what do you want to be when you grow up?” question by listing various animals and honestly that’s still true

Dream trip: visiting my internet friends 🥺

Favorite songs: Love Love Love by the Mountain Goats. Caroline by Emma Lloyd. Gasoline by Halsey.

Last book I read: (in its entirety) Spiritual Friendship by St. Aelred of Rievaulx, (in part) the Bible

3 fictional universes I’d live in: hmmm this is a tough one, a lot of my favorite fictional universes would be worse or the same as this timeline? I’d go for the His Dark Materials multiverse, which is like our world except (a) I’d have to deconvert and change my theology around (b) the seeing-your-daemon-out-of-the-corner-of-your-eye trick that I tried to do for years of my childhood would actually work. Same with Arda, except (a) I’d get to be more confident in my theology, and (b) I’d get to be confident that elves used to exist. Uhhhhh. I’d probably go for Vanda Nosseo from Silmaril (glowfic) by Lintamande, probably, which has the same (a) as HDM but makes up for it with “not only did elves exist in the past, they still do”. I think elves existing is pretty neat.

if you read all of that, consider yourself tagged! (if you want to be.)

[thebigreylotheory]

Belated TROS trailer reaction and thoughts

Painting.

Been doing lots of painting.  Rewatching TFA, TLJ, and Solo and painting.

Ok, wow, originally intended to have this up by May the 4th….but like I mentioned some posts ago, bantha poodoo happens. (Caps is the same :( )

It’s finally, finally time for my TROS trailer reaction, thoughts, and a few theories! (I don’t know about you, but I’m still not over how good it is. Say what you will, Star Wars has the best trailers.)

Breathing is very important to the sequel trilogy. (I would say that Rey that is totally going to be ahead of the game for Lamaze class if we get a sequel-sequel trilogy/book/comic baby some galaxy far far away day.)

I’ve wondered if the movie will take the time to explain how the Skywalker lightsaber has been repaired? My feeling is, sorta like ROTJ, it’ll just be there like Luke’s green lightsaber. So, you’ll either have to make up your own head canon OR we’ll eventually get books and comics for the time gap between TLJ and TROS that will explain exactly what Rey did. Since she’s a scavenger, and mechanically inclined around junk, my feeling right now is, it’s possible she might have gone on a journey for a new kyber crystal and she’s repurposed the hilt. Which I think could be symbolically interesting….almost saying she’s “her own person (crystal)” on the inside now, but externally carrying on the outward mantle of her teacher/master Luke.

Which leads me to: by now, you’ve probably heard the theory that the last name “Skywalker” might transform to a term for the henceforth new Jedi. Personally, I am a fan of this theory. I think it would be useful for keeping the Star Wars eras straight when referencing any potential future Star Wars films/books/comics. For example, instead of saying “post-Skywalker trilogies,” one could say this-or-that takes place during the Jedi era or the new Skywalker era, etc (as well as, hopefully, the Knights of the Old Republic era someday soon).

AND, if Rey dubs herself (and perhaps any future students she has) a Skywalker….then, well, oddly enough, it would fulfill the whole Rey is a Skywalker discussion in the most interesting way possible. (While also keeping the plot open for her to choose whomever *coughcough* Ben Solo *coughcough* she would like to romantically be with someday.) It could potentially mean anyone could be a Skywalker. I’m a Skywalker. You’re a Skywalker. We’re Skywalker. Sign me up.

Luke is everybody’s spiritual father. (And I guess Vader is everybody’s grandfather??)

And, on a kinda odd note, being a Caravan-of-Courage-baby and a long-time SW fan, thinking of the name Skywalker, does anyone else think it sounds like a talent? Or is my brain just connecting Moonwalking with Skywalking? I guess, technically, Rey isn’t Skywalking here, right? It’s more like Skyjumping? Skyflipping? Maybe she’s really a Skyflipper. Part dolphin.

But I slightly digress, back to the trailer.

When this scene hit, I initially thought, from a distance, the TIE was a TIE bomber. Haha, silly me. 

I have fond memories of the TIE bomber toys Revan/Devan had as a kid.

Yay, Lawrence of Arabia will be returning to theaters Sept. 1st and 4th, presented by TCM! I did a middle school history report over Lawrence. Mostly because I wanted to learn about desert warfare so I could write better Star Wars fan fiction. It’s all about Star Wars, people. It always has been.

Now, that’s what I call TIE racing!

Sweet butter tacos, by now I have paused these scenes over and over trying to decide if this is Kylo Ren and/or if the scenes match or they’ve been sliced much like the TLJ trailer. 

HAHA. You trailer editor people are so good. You did it just enough to make me crazy until December. THANKS.

But, I guess it’s safe to say, in this sequel trilogy, when the camera zooms to black gloves, it’s probably Kylo.

Gee, these two just can’t flirt normally. It’s like they thought, “Oh what can we do on our date that hasn’t been done before?” “Oh, I know, let’s play chicken with the TIE Fighter!”

No, in all seriousness, as it’s been said before many times now, this would be a really strange way to try to take Rey out…

Wouldn’t Kylo be a man and just face her? He hasn’t been afraid to face people before.

And, I don’t know…some people I know are hoping that they are working together somehow, which I hope they are, don’t get me wrong,…but at the moment, I just can’t think of why Rey would need to jump on a TIE Fighter/Kylo’s TIE. (Mind out of the gutter!) I mean, if they are working together, practicing even, for some Force trick/feat that needs doing to destroy or infiltrate something, it looks like she could have climbed on the TIE before it took off?

I mean the Interwebs might tell you that she needs to practice her jumping so she can have the high ground later, but I still don’t know.

It could be a dream/vision. Simple enough.

It could be that ForceTime is acting really weird?

Did we really understand or have all the rules of ForceTime in TLJ? Could it be if ForceTime connects and Rey and Kylo hold-on to another they can pull each other to a different location? So for instance, if Rey jumps on the TIE she could be transported to where Kylo is?

That would mean there was a reason Luke told them to stop. Did he know either Kylo would be pulled to Ahch-To in the flesh or Rey would end up at the First Order (before she totally left in the Falcon for the First Order)?

Dunno. That could be getting too “beam-me-up-Scotty” or too “magical” for SW. We’ll see. I’m open to most things so long as they’re done well.

Alternatively, because Caps and I have also been reading SW comics for a few years now, I think it’s also possible that Kylo could be possessed here. 

As in, someone:

Like monkey-hands here, or whomever monkey-hands works for (Palps, Hux, The Resistance, KOR), took Kylo’s helmet and added Sith-y stuff to it.

I want to lean towards the idea of an enemy/frenemy of Kylo’s changing his helmet. I thought it was a little unusual that Kylo would go back to wearing the helmet after smashing it. I mean, character-wise, I figured it would remind him of Snoke’s taunts. It seemed like a step backward. Like going back to a security blanket after you’ve gotten over needing it. Dunno, are they going to capture him and force him to wear it? Making him Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs to get him out of the way?

BUT, there again, I guess, I could stretch my imagination and believe that Kylo, might, might, go back to wearing his helmet on his own, if he thought there was some power or knowledge to be gained. And, either, earnestly, he did it to himself or it was a TRAP!

And possibly, in this scene, possessed Kylo is about to crash wherever Rey is, but she saves him by cutting open the hatch, etc? 

(She’s learned to lift rocks, but could she stop a TIE via the Force and climb in and save someone? Maybe, but it, arguably, wouldn’t look as cool or dramatic). And if that were the case, Kylo would be in some serious debt to Rey for saving his life. Girl already spared him once. Twice, if you count she didn’t run him through on Starkiller Base.

Anyways, back to reviewing the trailer chronologically.

Somehow this reminds me of the Lost City of Atlantis. Was there a city on Bespin below Cloud City? According to Wookiepedia Bespin is a cloudy place. Sooo, could be Lando’s entrance in the movie, possibly.

Did I read somewhere that Kylo is tackling a Knight of Ren here? (Double checked and yes.) That’s interesting. I could come up lots of out-of-the-hat-theories as to why. KOR turns against him. Kylo turns against KOR. KOR Civil War? KOR Battle Royale where the survivor of the Hunger Games gets to be Master?

But what’s really interesting, is the fact that Kylo doesn’t slice the guy in two pieces with the lightsaber.

And that, to me, also spawns some theories. Is the tackle just a cinematic scene to show Kylo’s strength? Maybe Disney doesn’t want to go “Darth Maul-ing” people in two pieces? Kylo, for some reason, isn’t killing people on this particular day or any more at all? Or Kylo’s in a super rush and is more focused on getting a certain location in a hurry and whatever, guy was in the way? It made me concerned, mmm, can’t Kylo use the Force in this scene? He isn’t Force Pushing or Freezing the guy?

This week on “This Old Helmet,” Norm and guys add detailing to a once dilapidated helmet. Yup, it was a real fixer-upper. If Mr. Monkey doesn’t work for some VIP, he’s a really strange janitor.

Ok, Finn and Poe are going to, canon, start a boy band in TROS, right? This is a scene from their KPOP-ish music video, right? “‘Cause I want it that way…” If they don’t dance, so help me Star Wars...I’ll make them in a fanvid.

To be honest, I’m not sure if I like D/O yet. The jury is still out for me. Mostly because I thought some of the other concept designs were much cuter. Although, I can’t wait to see the Droid Builders tackle this one. I’m still stuck on a mouse droid.

Aww, yeah, welcome back Lando! Mr. Smoothie! (I wish he’d been apart of TFA and TLJ, but better late than never.) I know, I know the ship should be Chewie’s now, but I secretly hope that Lando is able to donate money to restore the Falcon, like an old classic car. *coughcough* Reylo Wedding Gift *coughcough*

Hmm, moisture farm or temple? Guess we’ll see. I’m loving that the troops possibly have jetpacks and/or sand-speeders?

Dunno, after the whole Rambo C3P0 poster, I’m wondering if someone’s after C3P0 here? BB and R2 have had their “find-that-droid” day, maybe it’s C3P0’s turn?

Aww, the medal. Sweet medal. 

I can give you some out-of-the-hat ideas about this, too. Maybe this is Han’s. Maybe it’s in Leia’s collection of memories and she takes it out for nostalgia, to feel close to Han in spirit, or for the anniversary of his death. Maybe she’s decided to give it to someone else? Or, worst-case scenario, the Resistance needs gold and this is all they got left?

Or, this is Luke’s? And ditto on everything. Maybe Luke left it behind before he left for Ahch-To? Maybe he gave it back to Leia? Or maybe Leia and company find more of Luke’s belongings elsewhere? Maybe Luke was using it as a bookmark in one of the Jedi Texts?

Goodness. When the trailer hit Celebration, this scene filled my heart with the greatest bittersweet joy. 

I’m really glad that the extra/reworked footage of Carrie as Leia looks good. That it will uphold her legacy. It’s been on my mind ever since her passing.

In fact, I was so caught up in being happy that the footage looks great, at first, I didn’t stop to think why Leia and Rey are hugging?

And, at first, I was so vicariously being Rey while watching the trailer, hugging Leia with my own emotional fan tear, that I didn’t consider why is Rey crying?

Well, theory-wise it could be a number of things. Rey and Leia have really bonded, and maybe Rey’s about to go on a dangerous mission? Or the Resistance has had a major setback?

But, I think one of the biggest, most emotional, thing both Rey and Leia have in common is:

Yup. Benny Boy.

And, this thought/feeling opens up a whole new can.

Um, have they heard something about Kylo/Ben that’s upsetting? And, if so, would this scene take place early or late in the film? I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors that Kylo/Ben might not be making it out of this one entirely. Dunno, to me, it almost feels like Rey’s upset that she’s failed at something. I guess, especially, because it’s extra/reworked footage of the reaction to Han’s death.

Again, with the band! It’s like a 90s Alternation Rock cover!

My question is: What is in Rey’s hand? Is it a bag? What’s in the bag? Is she carrying the Jedi text or some other special item? Is it a device? What sort of device?

Have they all been camping? ‘Cause Finn and Poe have bags, too. Do they got thermal detonators in there?

I’m assuming, since they look more angry/focused than shocked, that their on some sort of mission to find this broken piece of Death Star II? That their purpose is to go inside? Or destroy the rest of it? Either way, if I learned anything from Wind Waker, it doesn’t look like a good day for sailing towards it.

Now, in the split second when Luke says “no one’s ever really gone” again…I wanted to believe we were going to get a Force Ghost reveal. Or that possibly, the-Force-killed-Luke was just social media red herring.

I never dreamed that laugh….

Chilled me to the bone.

The biggest “oh Sh*$” moment of my movie trailer watching life.

 Ooo the possibilities. More thoughts on Emperor Palps’ return later.

Until then my Reylos and Star Wars friends, May The Force Be With You!

[eastofthemoon]

For the Holiday prompts: Explaining Santa Claus to the Alteans

First of my holiday prompts.  Send me a holiday prompt and I shall try to write you something

Allura tilted her head in confusion.  “Santa Claws?” She held up her hands as if they had claws attached.  “Is this some kind of Earth monster?”

“No, no, no,” Lance said as he waved his hand back and forth.  “He’s not a monster and it’s ‘Claus’ not ‘Claws’.”

“I…see,” Allura replied still feeling uncertain.  She could barely remember how they had started this conversation.  The paladins had muttered something about it being close to an Earth holiday, and then Lance joked about Zarkon being on ‘Santa’s naughty list’ and that was when the confusion arose.

“So, this ‘Santa Claus’,” Coran continued as he stroked his moustache.  “Is there a reason he keeps track of who has been ‘naughty and nice’?”

Allura nodded, slightly intrigued.  Was this Santa some kind of being that punished evil-doers for their misdeeds?  They did have a similar tale on Altea, although the the spirit of Mortana the Mountain Ravager was more of a story to keep children from misbehaving.

“There’s no real reason,” Hunk added from his seat on the couch. “He just goes into people’s homes and gives presents to good kids.”

Allura arched an eyebrow.  “This Santa breaks into people’s homes?”  She wrapped her arms around herself.  “I must say that sounds rather unsafe.”

“I agree,” Coran added hotly.  “How do you know this ‘Santa’ won’t steal anything?”

“Uh, because he’s Santa?” Lance added.

“Also, it’s just a story for kids,” Shiro added with an amused smile.  “Kids even leave out cookies and milk for him as a treat.”

“So you leave offerings,” Allura said as she crossed her arms, “for someone that doesn’t even exist?”  She couldn’t see how that was practical.

“You’re overthinking it,” Lance as he waved for hand.  “It’s just for fun.”

Keith tucked his hands into his jacket.  “Look, it’s basically an old story parents keep around for their kids.  Even my Dad did it.  It originally started from this old story about a man called St. Nicholas that wanted to help out this poor family.”

“Oh, I see,” Allura said thoughtfully.  That made slightly more sense.

Pidge glanced up from her laptop as she raised a finger.  “Actually, it’s more likely the whole thing originated from the story of the god Odin taking part in the Wild Hunt as he rode his eight legged horse and brought people gifts.”

Allura took it back.  It made less sense.  

“He rides something?” Coran asked as he scratched his head.  “So, does this ‘horse’ creature fly, then?”

Pidge adjusted her glasses.  “Well, in modern retellings, Santa doesn’t ride a horse.  He has a sleigh pulled by eight flying reindeer.”

Lance rubbed his eyes.  “Pidge, don’t confuse them.”

“I’m pretty sure you mean nine, Pidge.  But do you recall….”

“Shiro, you’re not helping.”

Allura held up her hand.  “Let me see if I understand this.”  She counted off her fingers.  “This ‘Santa Claus’ is some kind of being that breaks into people’s homes to leave gifts and then flies around on a sleigh that is pulled by a nine-legged reindeer?”

Lance sighed.  “No, that’s not quite-”

“Lance, just give up,” Hunk suggested with a shrug.  “This is starting to give me a headache.”

Lance pouted as he crossed his arms.  “Oh, fine.”

Allura sighed.  “Honestly, Earth traditions will always baffle me.”

Pidge narrowed her eyes as light glinted off her glasses.  “Oh?  And I suppose you didn’t have any ‘weird’ traditions like that on Altea.”

“Of course not,” Coran said as he twirled his mustache.  “We had nice sensible traditions, like the Feast of Comdula.”

“Which is?” Shiro asked.

Allura smiled.  “That would be our tradition in which we hold a large feast to welcome the spirit Comdula, convince her to grant us a bountiful crop, and appease her so that we are not turned to stone.”

The paladins all shared baffled looks until Keith spoke.  “Yeah, no, I’d rather have Santa Claus.”

“Ditto,” all the paladins said in unison.

Allura huffed slightly.  She would never understand humans.

[weirdwariii]

2017 Albums I Didn’t Like

Obviously I can’t like every album that comes out in a year, nor do I try. I know I won’t like that new Maroon 5 album, but it probably wasn’t meant for me anyways. Still, there are plenty of albums I feel like I should like - some from artists I’ve previously enjoyed, some because everyone else has a favorable opinion on them - but I just don’t. And that’s what this list is: Stuff I tried to like, but didn’t.

I was excited for Courtney Barnett and Kurt Vile’s Lotta Sea Lice, being a big fan of both’s solo endeavors. While, admittedly, there’s a charming chemistry between the two, they never seem to push each other or take any chances, thus the whole album just kind of meanders by with few memorable moments. Not a bad album, just not one I’ll ever choose to return to instead of when of their better solo albums.

Lana Del Rey’s first album Born to Die was, at best, just okay. But I bought into her aesthetic pretty hard around that time. I remember reading all the articles, interviews and think-pieces before she even had an album out, and I was listening to “Video Games” endlessly (Last.fm still ranks it as my most listened-to song in the last 10 years). And it’s kind of weird because with each album since then, she seems to have grown as a songwriter, seems to grow her fanbase and seems to get an even better critical reception - yet I continue to cool on her. Fatigue? Did I like her better as an underdog? I don’t know. But Lust for Life did nothing for me.

I’m not bitter about the mainstream attention Portugal the Man found this year. The writings been on the wall for years that this is exactly what the band was waiting for, and they finally found the right balance of weird, pop and Danger Mouse to get them there. Still, the PTM I fell in love with were a different band. Woodstock is my stop, and I’m getting off the train. Thanks for the ride!

People have spoken very highly of Japanese Breakfast, and I really wanted to like Soft Sounds from Another Planet, but it just didn’t happen. Certainly not a bad album in any way, just not one that resonated with me.

2017 was a trying time in the struggle with separation of art and artist. I actually liked Brand New’s album a lot, but in the fallout of the accusations against Jesse Lacey, I find it impossible to return to the album, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Ditto for Morrissey, who I already have a contentious appreciation for. On the same day I planned on going to the record store to pick up his new album, his comments on the Hollywood sexual assaults proved to be the final straw for me. There simply isn’t time to support artists like these when thousands of other bands and artists are actually helping to contribute to and build a safer space for their fans.

I still like Mac DeMarco way more as a human than I do as a performer.  See also: St. Vincent.

Mastodon continued to stray from their epic awesomeness that made me a  fan in the Leviathan/Blood Mountain era. Their latest was alright, but just alright.

I don’t know why I thought The National was going to win me over this year when their older albums (and their most acclaimed albums at that) hadn’t. But, nope, still not into The National.

I defended Weezer for way longer than I should’ve (like, I bought Raditude), but that new album...  No.

I continue to hold out hope that one day War on Drugs will click with me, but it hasn’t happened yet. And I’ve tried! Maybe that just one just isn’t meant to be.

I hope that time doesn���t prove me to be exaggerating when I say this, but Arcade Fire’s Everything Now might be one of the most disappointing albums I’ve heard in a long time. Not to say that they’ve had a perfect track record up to this point, but the worst thing I could say about AF up to this point is that their last two albums were just too long. But there’s just so little of EN that I like. Even the album’s best moments (maybe...”Creature Comfort” or the title track?) still sound like parodies of better AF songs. Everything about EN, down to the marketing and roll out, just felt heavy handed and exhausting. I continue to appreciate AF as a band, and clearly their overall message comes from a good place.

Next: the albums I wished I listened to more this year.

[bryrosea]

what's your favorite jane eyre version?

Oh...are you sure you want to ask me that? SURE? Because I’VE GOT FEELINGS ABOUT THIS. Buckle up. 

So, firstly, Jane Eyre is near and dear to my heart as it is for many people. I have read the book, conservatively, dozens of times and seen most (although not all) of the modern adaptations. There have been over twenty film and TV adaptations of the story over the years and I think one reason it’s been tried so many times is that they never get it quite right. There is no Definitive Adaptation in the way the Ehle/Firth Pride & Prejudice is for many people, for example. Every version has it’s adherents and it’s detractors. My three (argh!, okay four) favorite versions below: 

(cut, because this got EXTREMELY LONG)

COMFORT AND FIDELITY FAV: 1983 BBC Minseries (Zelah Clarke and Timothy Dalton)

This is the version I grew up watching (my mom is also a big Jane Eyre fanatic). It’s by far the most complete in terms of the events of the book. It’s like…five hours? Four? Long, anyway, so it gets to play out a lot of scenes that don’t make it into other versions. Do you like Miss Temple? This is pretty much the only adaptation where she gets any screen time. Ditto a lot of the Lowood and St. John storylines. This version is really faithful in terms of Bronte’s language too, which I appreciate, since that’s a big draw of the story for me. This is, however, an older film, clearly shot largely on a sound stage, and it shows in production value.

Zelah Clarke’s Jane is calm and self-contained. She’s short enough to play Jane (as no other actress in the part really is) but a little too sturdy for the “childish, slender creature” Bronte describes. Clarke is honestly a little too quiet and prim for my taste; I like to feel the fire brewing in Jane, barely repressed, and Clarke misses out there for me, a bit. 

Dalton is likewise too polished to really be Rochester. Yes, he is overly handsome for the part, but so are a lot (all?) of the film Rochesters, it’s more his manner that’s the issue, for me. He never seems really on the edge in the way my favorites are in the part.  

So yeah, I actually prefer several other actors in both the Jane and Rochester roles to this particular pairing, but the story adaptation itself can not be beat. When I’m home sick on the couch for an entire day and missing my mom, this is the version I pick. 

AESTHETIC FAV: 2011 Movie (Mia Wasikowski and Michael Fassbender)

I have mixed feelings on Fassey in this role, but he makes no major offenses, and Mia Wasikowski is KILLER. More solemn than Ruth Wilson, but with a greater sense of Jane’s interior world than Clarke. 

This version makes what I think is a really smart film-making decision, starting the story in media res with Jane running from Thornfield and telling the meat of the tale through flashbacks. This allows the director to wrap the Lowood and Morton parts of the story (the dragging-est parts, lbr) around the more interesting Rochester and Thornfield stuff, breaking them up so the story doesn’t sag at the end the way some productions do. 

The absolute worst thing about this version, though, is the ending. It cuts off super abruptly after the Jane/Rochester reunion in what I find a deeply unsatisfying way. All of this big (and very effective) emotional build-up to the reunion and then BLACK SCREEN immediately after? Bah. I like time to savor them coming together. Just five more minutes at the end and I would be sublimely happy with this version. 

It is, however, a gorgeous adaptation with the scenery and cinematography and OH MY FREAKING GOD, the costumes in this one. They are so period-accurate and lush and detailed. I mean: 

[X] [X]

So yeah, when I’m looking for a quick Jane Eyre fix with gorgeous eye candy, the 2011 is my go to. 

ACTING AND TRASH FAV: 2006 Miniseries (Ruth Wilson and Toby Stephens)

This is the version I re-watch the most and Ruth Wilson is my favorite Jane. She is actually really gorgeous, but has such weird, rubbery alien features that she’s the only actress to play Jane who I can actually imagine someone calling “fairy” and “sprite” and “imp.” Even though in this language-altered version (see below) Rochester sticks to just calling her a witch (sigh). Wilson plays a very young Jane, her emotions closer to the surface than others - she smiles, laughs even, where other actresses have chosen to keep Jane stoic - and it WORKS. She is the quintessential Jane, for me. She owns the role. 

Toby Stephens is Maggie Smith’s son and DAMN does he do the family acting chops proud here. This miniseries is four hours long, so the first time I saw it I was surprised at how quickly it skims over Jane’s childhood - she’s on her way to Thornfield by about 17 minutes in - but once I saw the first scene with Stephens and Wilson by the fire I was like OH I GET IT. MORE OF THIS, YES. This version lingers lovingly over the Rochester/Jane relationship and gives them lots of chances to interact and talk that many other adaptations don’t, making their relationship feel the most earned and deserved, to me. 

Okay, so this version of the Rochester/Jane relationship is kind of controversial among fans because it sexes up the story a good bit. 

But I don’t caaaaaaaare. It’s hot, and they’re hot, and the original literary couple is fucking BRIMMING with unexpressed passion that the novel just kind of elides over a la conventions of the time, anyway, so I don’t even really feel like it’s all that OOC. 

My biggest issue with this adaptation is that all of the language is modernized throughout (not, like, ‘omg, he did wha?’ but not Bronte’s original poetry, either). There are many, many times when characters say their lines in this where I can hear the echo of the books actual text lurking, unsaid AND BETTER, and it makes me periodically sad. 

PROBABLY ACTUAL FAV: Jane Eyre: The Musical (Marla Schaffel and James Barbour) 

Okay, so hear me out now. The dark melodrama of this book was actually MADE to be a Broadway musical and there was a fabulous one written by Paul Gordon and John Caird. It premiered on Broadway in 2000, unfortunately at the same time as the juggernaut that was the Producers, and didn’t do very well, closing after a few months. It did get some Tony nominations, though, and you can see Schaffel and Barbour doing a BALLER rendition of “Sirens” at the 2001 Tony Awards

I saw this musical in person when I was in high school while it was doing an pre-broadway trial at the La Jolla Playhouse. I loved the book Jane Eyre before, but it was seeing that performance of the musical that really kicked me over in full-blown obsession with the story. I have listened over and over and over to various versions of the cast album for over fifteen years now. 

The Broadway cast album is amazing, definitely, but I honestly believe that one of the reasons the musical didn’t do as well on Broadway is that it changed a lot from the lush textually-faithful version that I saw in La Jolla. The best recording to listen to, in my opinion, is the original cast recording from Toronto (with Anthony Crivello as Rochester). If you know the book at all and listen to it you will be blown away by how faithful to the text and moving the music is, I guarantee it. 

This is the version that lurks in my mind the most and informs my reading of the book. There are whole passages of the novel that I can no longer read without hearing the music superimposed over them, delicately picking out phrases and weaving them into intricate melodies. This is my favorite Jane Eyre version. 

So...8 million words later...does that answer your question anon? Ha ha...ha?

[wellhalesbells]

i was tagged by @mianarazta and @andavs, so, here i am.  doing the thing.  like a doer of things would do.

A - Age: 28.  wow.  i had to do math to figure that out.  that is so sad for me.  it’s not a nifty enough number to remember off the top of my head, in my defense.  ask me who all the members of nsync are though.

B - Biggest fear: any kind of brain trauma that results in not being able to trust what your mind is telling you.  did i casual-forget where i put my keys or ARE CHUNKS OF GRAY MATTER JUST FALLING OUT OF MY HEAD?  I’M PRETTY SURE I NEED THOSE.

C - Current time: 8:08pm... is when i started.  things have gone.  awry.

D - Drink you had last: coffee.

E - Every day starts with: two alarms i ignore and one i have to fall out of bed to reach.

F - Favorite song: erm, there’s not enough commitment in my veins to have a favorite song but i’m ping-ponging between three at the moment.  the killers have a new song out, finally, the man.  i’m finally getting around to listening to the new bleachers cd i pre-ordered and everybody lost somebody is pretty great (as is the whole cd) and você partiu meu coração by nego do borel recently dragged me back so i could re-murder it.

G - Ghosts, are they real: can’t be.  i’m a homebody no matter where i go.  i’d have at least one weird ghost friend by now simply by virtue of being around all the time.

H - Hometown: st. petersburg, fl

I - In love with: coffee, master storytelling, sleeping.

J - Jealous of: anyone who has their shit together even slightly better than i do, aka, everyone else.  YOU WANNA GO, MAN?  ‘CAUSE I SURE DON’T.

K - Killed someone: not that i know of but i definitely knock a lot of stuff over, i could’ve final destinationed someone else’s demise without realizing it.

L - Last time you cried: wonder woman, no man’s land.  if not for movies, i would never cry.  because of movies, i’m pretty much a certified weeper.  i’m still mad at sisterhood of the traveling pants for making me bawl my eyes out in front of people.

M - Middle name: kelsey.  my dad, he just... sometimes you gotta let him have things even if no one’s happy about it.

N - Number of siblings: uno.

O - One wish: to be better at, and confident in the knowledge that i am better at, absolutely everything.  that’s one, that counts.

P - Person you last called/texted: my sister.  she texted me a picture of a greeting card with a bird on it about a half hour ago with the caption PUT A BIRD ON IT because she knows how to make me love her. 

Q - Question you’re always asked: “did you get any of that?” (in the sense of: were you paying even the slightest bit of attention?  guess what the answer almost always is????)

R - Reason to smile: was writing out an answer to this then it started thundering and now i’m typing sideways with my computer on the couch next to me because this wandered into my lap and is now snoring:

S - Song last sang: brand new, seventy times 7.  if there’s a way to get to the bridge and not shout it at the top of your lungs, i haven’t figured it out yet.  IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL A GETAWAY, TELL ME WHAT YOU GOT AWAY WITH, ‘CAUSE I’VE SEEN MORE SPINE IN JELLYFISH, I’VE SEEN MORE GUTS IN ELEVEN-YEAR-OLDS KIDS

T - Time you woke up: 8:30am.  every day we try for 8.  every day we fail.

U - Underwear color: blue.  and it has an all over tina belcher print thinking the word BUTTS on it.  i’m an adult.

V - Vacation destination: australia, 10/10 would return.

W - Worst habit: ditto leda’s: crippling procrastination.  also, uh, i do nothing to help curb my insomnia.  like, at all. 

X - Xrays you’ve had: i broke my wrist when i was a kid?  also dental ones.

Y - Your favorite food: my dad makes these salmon tacos that i would final destination murder all kinds of people for.

Z - Zodiac sign: pisces.

uhhhh, tagging: @i-sveikata, @fruit-of-my-hoechloins, @midnightisquiet, @queenshounds, @livthelion, @myotparmada, @squeeingfangirl, and all the other people i’m thinking of and don’t know i’m thinking of.  you know who you are [finger guns] and so do i, heh.

[burning-up-ao3]

March 15, 2019 

The Penguins had a problem March 1 when they  took the ice without Kris Letang and Bryan Rust. 

   Kris Letang is again an All-Star and Rust was amid a breakout year  offensively. But the issue in Buffalo that night was that neither was  available to dig pucks out of the net during pregame warmups.    “Once Rusty got injured, nobody was doing it. I think we skated around for  about five minutes, just looking at each other and waiting for someone to  pick them up,” said Marcus Pettersson, chuckling at the thought. “So I just  did it. I think most guys do the same [routines] on the ice and nobody wants  to break it. I don’t have anything in particular that I need to do, so I  don’t mind picking up the pucks.”    Well, there are a few Penguins who are very particular about what  they do and when and where they do it during pregame warmups. Sidney Crosby,  Evgeni Malkin and Kris Letang are definitely among them.    That can be intimidating for a 24-year-old who gets called up to Pittsburgh  to make his NHL debut.    “It sounds weird,” Teddy Blueger said, “but there is definitely an adjustment  to try to figure out what everyone does and where everyone goes. I think at  first, you just try to stay out of the way.”    A few players told him to be wary of Crosby, whose many superstitions are  well-documented. Garrett Wilson, who started the season as the captain in  Wilkes-Barre/Scranton, gave Blueger the heads-up that the warmup in  Pittsburgh is “pretty hectic,” so he should “watch out and be on your toes.”    When the clock starts ticking down during the 18-minute pregame warmup, that  night’s starting goalie is the first one on the ice. Crosby and Malkin, in  that order, come out last. Well, unless it’s one of those nights when Phil  Kessel takes his sweet time meandering from the locker room down the tunnel.    Most players, their adrenaline and typically techno music pumping, explode  out onto the ice, circling the Penguins zone and firing pucks at the empty  net. Crosby squats on one of the neutral-zone faceoff dots to stretch his  groin. Malkin gets loose in the faceoff circle to the right side of the goal.  Letang, when in the lineup, likes to hunch over between the hashmarks, a  moment of Zen as pucks whizz past him.    “The guy you’ve got to watch out for is Olli,” Jack Johnson said. “He’s just  flying around out there.”    Injuries do happen. For example, Patric Hornqvist had to get stitches earlier  this season after one of his shots in warmups ricocheted off the crossbar and  into his forehead. But watch these athletes weave around each other at  near-full speed and you might wonder why injuries don’t happy more often.    “We’re synchronized, man,” Dominik Simon insisted. “It looks chaotic from the  outside, 100 percent. But we’re used to what each other is doing, so you kind  of know the routines and can focus on yourself.”

Around the 14-minute mark during home games, Crosby will    stick-handle through the McDonalds logo.        “He’s always been superstitious, ever since we were teenagers,” said    Johnson, who played prep hockey with Crosby at Shattuck St. Mary’s in    Minnesota in 2002-03. “He hasn’t really changed much at all.”        Pettersson begins his duties as the interim puck-retriever with Letang and    his backup, Rust, out. About a minute later, once all the pucks have been    sent to the neutral zone, the goalie shuffles into the net.        With about 11 minutes left on the clock, the skaters head to the corners.    This is when Jake Guentzel does his famous spin, which you might have seen    during the pregame hype video around the holidays.        “I don’t know how the spin started. But now I do two spins one way then two    spins the other way,” Guentzel said. “First, it’s Rusty that hits me and    then I hit Rusty after. So it’s kind of just stuck.”        Inside of the 10-minute mark, the Penguins do line rushes, giving us a    glimpse at that night’s lineups. With seven minutes left, Crosby stops near    center ice to tighten both of his skates. A minute after that, the players    line up in a half circle so they can pepper the goalie. With a few minutes    remaining, some of the veteran players start to duck off the ice. Meanwhile,    Guentzel tosses a couple of pucks to fans.        While there certainly are at least a few superstitious Penguins, most    players simply have routines and specific things they want to accomplish in    warmups, mostly because it’s what they’ve always done.        “If it gets messed up, it’s not a huge deal,” Blueger said. “I think at    this point it’s kind of like being in autopilot, where you don’t even think    about it. You just kind of go through the motions almost.”        Before the backup goalie retreats to the locker room, they must do the    net-front scramble, where all of the skaters still on the ice try to score    on that goalie, who must fend for himself. Why do NHL teams do that? Ask    around and you’ll get a lot of shrugs. That’s just the way it’s always been    done, they say.        “We didn’t do that in Sweden, so that was the first time I saw it, coming    over here,” Pettersson said. “I think [some goalies are more competitive].    That usually dictates how much is left of warmups and what time you get off    the ice. Sometimes, the goalie stands on his head and there’s barely enough    time to score before the clock runs down. I couldn’t tell you where it    started. It’s just something we all do.”        The last two Penguins out there are typically Malkin and Letang. Letang    loops around the zone, putting shots on goal and working up a sweat.    Malkin, meanwhile, stands nearly still at the right faceoff dot.        Malkin waits and waits and waits until the clock hits zero and the buzzer    sounds. He fires a lone shot into the net and turns toward the Penguins    bench. Athletic trainer Chris Stewart by now has walked out onto the ice so    that Malkin can, relatively gently, flip a puck into one of Stewart’s shoes    on his way off.        Why does he do that? Well, he couldn’t tell you where it started. It’s just    something that he does.

 THREE STARS OF THE PAST WEEK                            3. Evgeni Malkin. This is a career achievement award for  Geno after he hit his 1,000-point milestone, though he has provided some offense of late. Now can someone please print out  this newsletter and snap a picture of him holding this fake award  proudly? Thanks.                            2. The Crosby line. They have a ways to go to reach nickname              territory, but Sidney Crosby, Jake Guentzel and Jared McCann have              been great. Not to bag on Derick Brassard, though you may not   mind, but McCann is already about to match his production with Pittsburgh earlier this season.                            1. Matt Murray. Murray was spectacular in the loss to  Columbus last Saturday, then stood tall in wins over Washington  and Boston, two of the league's hottest teams. In his last nine  starts, Murray (pictured below) stopped 279 out of 300 shots and  went 6-1-2.

JASON MACKEY’S EXTRA THOUGHTS                            Note: These are brand-new bonus thoughts – exclusive to this              newsletter – from our lead Penguins reporter, Jason Mackey.Visit post-gazette.com/penguins every Tuesday   to read his “20 Penguins Thoughts.”                 1. Penguins coach Mike Sullivan has made plenty of tough decisions over the years. Starting Matt Murray over Marc-Andre  Fleury in Game 4 of the Eastern Conference final against Ottawa back in 2017 comes to mind first. Sullivan starting Murray on back-to-back nights March 1-2 has a similar feel. Seems like the Penguins — and especially Murray — have taken off since then. I also wouldn’t be surprised to see Sullivan do it again this weekend.                2. With Zach Aston-Reese now out “longer term” — or until about   the end of the regular season — it should become a priority  to fill the left wing spot on Evgeni Malkin’s line. I like Teddy Blueger, but I think he’s in over his head there. My candidate: Bryan Rust. He’s done it before, and I wouldn’t mess with the top  line of Jared McCann, Sidney Crosby and Jake Guentzel.                3. Speaking of the second line, it sure looks like Phil Kessel and Patric Hornqvist are back to being themselves. You can tell that both are regaining their confidence. The way Kessel and Malkin were sharing the puck Thursday night was impressive. Ditto for Kessel’s concentration   on that baseball swing. Hornqvist is starting to get a little  puck luck. I think we might be on the verge of seeing something  special with those two. 

STAT OF THE WEEK                            4 — players all-time who recorded 1,000 points in a Penguins uniform now that Evgeni Malkin has done it. The Red Wings are the only other              NHL franchise that can make that claim. Thinking about this stat will definitely remind you to appreciate the great players and  the fun, often breath-taking offensive hockey we've been lucky to  watch here the past few decades.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK                 “It’s a great milestone. He’s done so much over the years. Been a  part of winning teams, highlight-reel goals, dominated games. Did  a lot for the organization. It’s just been fun to be a part of   that, watch that. You’re always happy for your teammates when  they do well, but a guy you’ve played this long with, it’s pretty special, pretty unique.” — Sidney Crosby on Malkin becoming the fifth Russian to get 1,000 points.

[jewishstarks]

tagged by @gendryxaryatrash

-> What made you sign up to Tumblr? Originally, just general fandom content

-> What did your blog start off as being? This blog used to be an art and photography sideblog for my main fandom blog, which has since been deleted

-> Have you ever received any creepy asks, and if so, what did they say? I don’t think so? -> Have you ever had a bad experience on tumblr? I got caught up in a lot of the fandom drama and ~discourse~ on my old blog at a time when my mental health really wasn’t great and it wasn’t a healthy situation for me, which is why I took almost a two year hiatus from tumblr and now keep this blog more-or-less ASoIaF-only.

-> If you had to pick a favourite English monarch, who would you pick? Elizabeth I is my hero -> Do you prefer hot or cold? Hot. I have absolutely no cold tolerance. -> Do you have a special skill or talent? I make jewelry! -> Do you have a phobia of anything? I used to have a serious phobia of escalators but now that I live in a city and depend on public transportation I’ve had to get over it.

-> If you had to pick a favourite real life villain from history, who would you pick? Richard III is fascinating to me

-> Do you have any dark traits? I’m very insecure about my relationships with other people :/ -> If you could do anything, literally anything, like fly on a unicorn or something, what would it be? To be able to speak any language fluently! -> What is the scale of the worst argument you’ve ever had? I’ve had some pretty bad arguments with my dad in high school -> What is your favourite slush flavour? None -> If you could bring back any food or drink from your childhood that has been discontinued, what would it be? I’ve been thinking about those galaxy brownies for some reason? They weren’t even that good, I just miss them? -> What is your favourite and most vivid childhood memory? Sitting on my parents’ bed watching Animal Planet and then lecturing everyone around me about weird animal facts -> If you could bring anyone back from the dead who would it be? I have no idea

-> If you could go back to any time period and live there for a week, which period would it be and why? TAKE ME TO THE DINOSAURS (specifically Cretaceous Period)  -> If you could visit any abandoned place to take pictures, where would it be? Oooh, some kind of old castle/palace -> Do you have any particular, peculiar interests? I don’t think I have any *weird* interests but I tend to fixate on my interests more than most people -> Do you have a creepy/scary experience that has happened to you, and what was it? Not really? I try to avoid that kind of stuff because I’m scared really easily

-> Do you like/read creepypasta stories? If so, what’s your favourite story? NOPE NOPE NOPE -> If you were in the Wars of the Roses, would you be a Lancastrian, or a Yorkist? I’ve... never thought about this before? Who am I? -> What is your recurring nightmare? As a kid I had a recurring nightmare about our car being washed over a bridge and then being chased by a mudslide

-> Have you ever had a lucid dream? Sometimes I can make myself wake up, but I’m usually not fully asleep when that happens, I guess. -> If you could go to another planet, which would it be? Mars! ->What is your religion, if any? Culturally & ethnically Jewish, but nonpracticing -> Have you ever got so drunk, that you did something really embarrassing, and if so, what did you do? I can’t drink for medical reasons -> Mike, Dustin, Lucas, or Will? THEY’RE ALL MY CHILDREN but especially Dustin

-> Do you like Marina and the Diamonds? I have exactly zero opinions about them -> Charli XCX? ^Ditto -> Tag a blog that you’ve seen, and you love their posts, but have never told them, and would like to talk to them. Anxiety says no. -> Pick one thing you like/love from the 80s. 80s X-Men was the best X-Men -> What year were you born, and name something cool from that year. '97 - Madeleine Albright became Secretary of State!

-> What was your blog name originally? (If you had another blog name) This one was halailah until pretty recently. -> Do you follow any blogs that you know the user in real life? Nope -> If you are in the ST fandom, which is your favourite song off the ST soundtrack? According to your answer this doesn’t mean Star Trek but I don’t know what else it could be...? -> Finally, give your opinion on the person who tagged you! ✨ HI YOU’RE SO COOL AND I KINDA FEEL LIKE YOU’RE MY FANDOM BIG SISTER AND I LOVE YOUR BLOG OKAY BYE

[misssophiachase]

not sure if you're still taking prompts but if you are, can i request a human klaroline drabble based off of "oops" by little mix? like a friends with benefits but we realize we're something more?

Thanks for the awesome prompt nonnie, think this is one of my new favourite songs! Also it’s a little different but the concept is still basically the same. I hope you like it! All lyrics in bold italics are by Little Mix and Charlie Puth (a little altered to suit the story).

Oops!

“Oops, my baby, I woke up in your bed”

Caroline’s eyes darted around the room trying to gain her bearings, this certainly wasn’t her bedroom. Enzo St John’s 18th birthday had been massive, no surprises at all given the organiser. Katherine had thrown him a surprise pool party at her house while her parents were away in Washington DC and all Caroline remembered was a lot of tequila, a lot of swimming and a lot of dancing on the dining room table. She just hoped it was still standing after all the weight it had endured during the night.

Sleeping with someone didn’t quite fit in with all those memories. Sure, her and Tyler had been messing around a bit but this definitely wasn’t his room. For some reason though it was a little familiar, especially those sketches on the wall in particular. Caroline felt her blood go cold at her delayed realisation, it couldn’t be him, right?

She turned over reluctantly, her eyes finally resting on the guy sleeping next to her. As far as possible options could go he was probably the worst. Not looks wise; this guy could be an Abercrombie and Fitch model with that curly, blonde hair and those crimson lips. But when it came to the worst people you could sleep with, your best friend’s brother was at the top of that list.

She pulled the sheet closer around her naked body self consciously, accidentally rousing him from sleep. She watched as those dark, blue eyes fluttered open and a pair of rogue dimples appeared out of nowhere as his gaze met hers, his dark, blonde hair adorably rumpled.

“Do you always watch people sleeping? I mean it’s a little creepy don’t you think, love?” He asked, his voice full of sleep.

“If you must know I was laying here commiserating over my choice of bedmate,” she growled. “I know you’ve always had a thing for me but really Klaus.”

“Says the girl who couldn’t keep her hands off me last night.”

“I’m blaming it on the copious amounts of alcohol I consumed,” she shot back, trying to ignore just how sexy his unkempt stubble looked at this time of the morning. “Trust me, if we were sober this would’ve never happened, I do have my standards after all.”

“That’s not what you were saying last night,” he smirked. “In fact you were revelling in my standardless company. I seem to recall a few cries of pleasure along the lines of…”

“I don’t need a recap,” she scowled, interrupting him. “I just need some caffeine and a hot shower and to forget this ever happened.”

“I’d be more than happy to scrub your back, you know get to all those hard to reach places.”

“Get out!”

“Last time I checked this was my bedroom, love,” he replied, gruffly. Of course it was, typical. “Looks like it’s time to do the walk of shame, door’s just over there. Although you might want to watch out for Rebekah, she’s usually leaving for yoga at this time on a Saturday morning.”

“Don’t call me love,” she muttered, placing her head in her hands in frustration. “Of all people why do you have to be a Mikaelson?”

“Unfortunate turn of events, trust me,” he said, knowingly as he propped his head up on his elbow and trained his gaze on her. “Usually my one-night-stands don’t talk this much the following morning. If I knew you were going to be this chatty, I might have reconsidered my decision.”

“Charming, Mikaelson,” she muttered while pulling off the sheet completely, wrapping it around her body and madly hunting for her discarded clothing. She was also trying to ignore the fact that he was now very naked sans covers. “Remind me not to have the pleasure of your company ever again.”

“Ditto, love.”

She chose not to respond, taking her pieces of clothing into the connected bathroom and slamming the door shut. It was probably the quickest she’d ever dressed, desperate to get out of this ridiculously awkward situation as soon as possible. It’s not like she didn’t find him attractive, in fact she’d found herself day dreaming about her best friend’s brother sometimes but knew nothing good could ever come of it, especially given what a known womaniser he was.

She consulted her dishevelled appearance in the mirror briefly. Her blonde waves were messy and obviously knotted, her creamy skin flushed and she had a telling trail of mascara under her left eye. Classy. As soon as she’d managed to make the best of her appearance, Caroline emerged from his bathroom. If this was some stranger then her exit would have been a lot simpler. Unfortunately a few stray memories from their night together came rushing back causing some unexpected shivers which were threatening to break her resolve.

It was a mad frenzy; clothes discarded at a rapid pace, tangled, sweaty limbs, mouths exploring and moaning against every inch of bare skin. He certaintly had talents, not that she’d ever admit it to him of course.

“I’m impressed, most girls I know spend at least a good few hours in the bathroom.”

“Well, I’m not like most girls you know, Mikaelson,” she growled, heading towards the window and opening it. The last thing she wanted to do was get caught by Rebekah or Kol for that matter so this seemed like the only escape.

“That much is true,” he agreed, his eyes flickering admiringly over her body encased in a fitted black dress. “I might even be open to another tryst if you’re lucky.”

“You wish,” she muttered, straddling the window sill and climbing out onto a nearby tree branch. If she’d known she was going to be scaling trees she definitely would have dressed more appropriately. Caroline had many regrets but she didn’t want to add getting caught out sleeping with her best friend’s brother to that list. The quicker she got out of there and showered her sins away the sooner she could forget what she’d done.

“Oops, we broke up, we’re better off as friends”

“You know, I’m really getting sick of your post mortem analysis, love.” Klaus groaned. “I understand once could be considered a stupid mistake but how do you explain ten times? Actually no, I was a little drunk a few of those times, make it at least a dozen.”

“Why do you always feel the need to revell in my misfortune, Mikaelson?”

“If it really was misfortune I’m surprised you’d come back so many times for more,” Klaus drawled. “I suppose I should get dressed before you kick me out in a raging fit of denial, yet again.”

“At least you catch on quickly,” she mumbled, throwing his shirt directly at his head. “This can’t happen ever again.”

“Exactly what you said the previous eleven times,” he joked, not missing just how hungrily her eyes devoured his bare chest in the meantime.

“I mean it this time.”

“Well, here’s a little hint for you,” he offered, placing his top over his head. “Don’t ogle me while you say it, I’d actually believe it if you refrained from checking me out.” She rolled her eyes at his usual lack of modesty. “Anyway, what’s wrong with a little harmless fun?” It certainly was fun, Caroline cast her mind back to the night before.

His teeth grazing and nibbling at her skin, his fingers massaging her silky folds as he did it. Caroline bucking her hips feeling all control slip away but not minding because she knew just how spectacularly it would end, it always did. Not that she’d ever admit that to him of course.

“You’re arrogant, annoying and smug. Oh and Rebekah’s brother,” she answered, by way of explanation.

“You really need to stop with all the compliments, love, you’ll give me a big head. Well, besides that unfortunate mention of my brotherly connection to Rebekah.”

“Too late for that and what have I told you about calling me love,” she muttered.

“I know how much it annoys you.”

“Of course,” she hissed. “So, what exactly are you still doing in my bed?”

“No need to get your panties in a twist, love,” he answered. “Oh, hang on that was me last night.”

“You are hilarious.”

“And here I thought you only liked me for my body.”

“Oh just please get out, there’s only so much I can take of your over-inflated ego and it’s stifling what available oxygen I have left.”

“Always so bloody dramatic,” he quipped, rolling out of bed. “So, should we just organise our next rendezvous or are you going to continue to live in complete denial that this will never happen again?”

“It won’t’ she promised. “Whatever this weird, messed-up thing is ends now.”

“Fine with me,” he replied, nonchalantly as he sauntered towards the door. “I have better things to do with my time anyway.”

“Now I accidentally need you, I don’t know what to do”

Caroline was extremely frustrated, that much she knew. When she’d insisted it was their last time together, she hadn’t expected Klaus to agree. After all she’d been saying it for months but he still entertained whatever was going on between them. She’d suffered through a number of inane holiday parties without the promise of seeing him at the end of the night and it was difficult to say the least. She told herself it was purely because of the physical aspects but every now and again niggling feelings would appear and confuse her more.

She’d made it her New Year’s Resolution to completely forget about him and whatever the hell had been happening and focus on the rest of Junior Year. Like most resolutions, that had lasted about five seconds. She’d flocked to the highway bar out of town after some particularly bad news from her parents. It was the only place that served minors and right now she needed alcohol, a lot of it in fact. At first the straight vodkas burned as they slipped down her throat but now they tasted like water she was that numb. It was exactly how she wanted to be though.

Klaus had arrived halfway through her drinking binge, playing pool in the corner with Enzo. It wasn’t a surprise altogether given she knew they liked to go there on Friday nights and possibly found herself there on purpose. It wasn’t just alcohol that calmed her after all. She’d pretended to ignore him but couldn’t miss the stray glances he kept sending her way.

“Alaric, I’ll have another one,” she slurred, slamming her glass on the bar in the process and trying to ignore the fact that her vision was blurred.

“You’ve had enough, Caroline,” he answered, not even bothering to look at her questioning expression as he wiped down the bar.

“I don’t think you heard me properly,” she insisted. “I want another one.”

“That’s not going to happen, maybe you should call it a night,” he replied, seriously. “What can I get you, Klaus?” Of course he had to approach the bar at that exact moment. Typical. Caroline chose to keep her gaze fixed on the bar wondering if he was going to say anything.

“Two beers, thanks,” he asked, Alaric walking away to get them from the fridge. “Are you alright, Caroline?”

“I’m fine,” she scowled. “Well, I was until you decided to interrupt my peaceful reverie.”

“I’m glad to see that stubborn, blind hatred for me is still well and truly present,” he shared. “I’m a little upset to be honest, I thought you’d actually miss me.”

“You wish.”

“They do say absence makes the heart grown fonder, though.”

“Well, whomever came up with that saying obviously wasn’t a cheating husband working away from home,” she mumbled, trying not to betray her feelings but the vodka wasn’t helping her discretion.

“Is there something I can do?”

“Well, maybe you can,” Caroline purred slipping off the stool and falling into his arms clumsily, her arms snaking around his neck. “You always did know how to take my mind off things, if you know what I mean?”

“You decided it was over between us and given your current state that’s probably not the best idea, love,” he murmured.

“Don’t call me that,” she growled, retracting her hands and looking over at Alaric wearingly as he came back with beers in hand. “I’m leaving.”

Caroline tried to keep her composure as she walked towards the door, the few stumbles an annoying consequence of her current state. As the fresh, cold air hit her she felt somewhat relieved to be away from prying eyes. Now to get home somehow, even if it was the last place she wanted to be. The first thing she noticed was that surrounding scenery was most definitely spinning, Caroline shakily placed her arms over her eyes in an attempt to stop the spinning but even in the darkness it wasn’t helping.

“I need you,” she whimpered helplessly. The last thing she remembered was falling towards the ground wishing that he would come and save her.

“Now I accidentally know that you’re in love with me too”

“Where am I,” she asked, sitting up quickly the pain ripping through her head a clear sign that she’d drunk too much the previous night. Klaus awoke from his sleep on the nearby armchair, his eyes opening slowly. Even in his half asleep state Caroline couldn’t deny just how cute he looked in his creased t-shirt and jeans.

“My place, I’m surprised it isn’t familiar yet.” She looked down self consciously hoping that she was fully dressed and hadn’t thrown herself at him in a fit of drunken desperation. What she found was a very familiar, black, Clash T-shirt, from memory it was his favourite. “I was the perfect gentleman I promise. You got a little sick on my bike and I had to change your clothes.” Great, this wasn’t embarrassing at all.

“But you brought me here?”

“I just figured after what you said last night you wouldn’t want to go home.”

“After what I said?” Caroline asked, still trying to gain her bearings. It was definitely the last time she drank that much straight vodka in such a short period of time.

“Well, you know…”

“I don’t which is why I was asking, Mikaelson.” He pursed those irresistible, crimson lips before responding.

“Caroline, you know full well why,” he replied, gruffly. “The last thing I want to do is rehash everything all over again I’m pretty sure that’s the last thing you’d feel like on top of that hangover.”

“Great! Drunken, rambling Caroline rears her ugly head yet again,” she growled, holding her sore head in her hands. “I mean so what if my parents are getting a divorce because my absentee father has been cheating on my mother and it turns out she knew all along but strangely ignored it. If those aren’t relationship goals, I don’t know what are.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologised. “I know this can’t be easy for you.”

“Yeah well I was the stupid one who didn’t see any of this coming,” she muttered.

“This had nothing to do with you, Caroline.”

“Then why does it feel like that?” She mumbled. “Like if I’d known maybe I could have done something.” Klaus made his way over to the bed and sat down next to her surprising her slightly. Things between them had always been physical, yes, but this felt like something entirely different.

“You couldn’t have stopped this, Caroline. Your parents are grown adults and made their choices and it’s not your fault,” he murmured. She looked into his eyes, losing herself momentarily as he spoke. He was usually so sarcastic and arrogant but this was a whole other side to her best friend’s brother. As soon as the words entered her mind Caroline knew she had to go before anything else happened.

“Uh, well, I’ll be on my way just as soon as I can get up,” she uttered.

“There’s no rush, really,” he replied. “I mean there’s water and aspirin by the bed but if there’s something else you need…”

“Since when did you become so considerate?” She drawled, noting the pitying look on his face, Of course she should have known but if there was something Caroline hated it was someone feeling sorry for her. “You know I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity. You know I’m not always the bad guy you make me out to be, Caroline,” he explained, fastening a lock of hair behind her ear. She froze, trying to ignore the feelings his simple touch was causing. It would have been so easy to lean in and dissolve into his kisses and forget about all her problems right now.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “For last night.”

“Anything for you, love,” he replied, his voice low and husky. She felt dizzy, wondering if it was just hangover symptoms or his close proximity. “Maybe we could…”

“I really should go, you know just in case Rebekah decides to comes in,” she interrupted, thinking this was getting entirely too real and her emotions were already all over the place thanks to her parents.

“And we pick up exactly where we left off.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing Caroline, it isn’t really the time.”

“Well, obviously it isn’t nothing, Klaus,” she scoffed.

“Unlike some people I’m not ashamed about being seen with you,” he growled, standing up again and moving towards the bathroom. That Caroline wasn’t expecting, she always assumed Klaus was indifferent about their arrangement. He’d certainly never acted any other way, well until last night. Was there a chance he felt the same way about her? “I’m going to take a shower.”

Caroline lay there for a while revelling in his scent on the pillow case while listening to the running water and trying not to imagine him naked as the water droplets washed over his toned body. The increasing warmth between her legs was telling her she needed to get the hell out of there before she lost all willpower and joined him in the shower. Given their discussion Caroline wasn’t quite sure he’d be amenable to that anyway.

“Oops, baby, I love you”

It had been three long weeks, Caroline had been busy trying to deal with the fallout of her parents’ news. Her father moved out, something Caroline didn’t think would effect her as much as it did. He’d barely been there when they were married so she was suprised at just how upset she felt seeing all of the cardboard boxes and empty space, especially in his office.

Rebekah and Katherine had been so supportive, not that she expected any less. They were suprised she hadn’t told them sooner, not knowing she’d shared it with someone before them. A certain someone who would send concerned glances her way when he didn’t think she was watching, but she was. It was difficult not to given Caroline realised she was in love with him. Yep, she was in love with Klaus Mikaelson but had no idea what to do about it.

It was obvious he had feelings for her given their last conversation but Caroline felt like she didn’t know how to tell him. Klaus was obviously hurt by the way she’d brushed him off and knew she had to make the next move. Caroline had spent too much time worrying about what Rebekah would think and less about her feelings. It was time she put things right.

It was a Tuesday morning, Caroline was walking through the school corridor purposefully knowing her destination. His locker was at the opposite end to hers and she watched intently as the numbers ascended. About twenty metres later she didn’t need to count any further, noticing him rifling through his locker. She felt the familiar butterflies in her stomach at just how gorgeous his ass looked fitted snuggly into those dark jeans, his white Ramones T-Shirt riding up and displaying some bare skin she knew very well. Caroline shook her head, she needed to focus.

She approached his locker, coughing to get his attention. He turned curiously, his eyes raking over her body before settling on her face. “I wondered where my favourite t-shirt went.” Caroline looked down at the baggy Clash t-shirt she was wearing over her jeans. She’d taken it after that night, call her crazy but she wanted something of his.

“You let me wear it.”

“I didn’t expect you to steal it though.” Caroline noticed a slight smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth, hoping this was a good sign. “You might not want to wear that around school, half the guys as well as my siblings know it’s my favourite shirt.”

“A fact I am well aware of, Mikaelson,” she smiled deviously. “Let them talk, in fact I’m hoping they do.”

“Oh really?” He grinned, slouching against his locker and crossing his arms over his chest. “And why is that?”

“It’s probably the easiest way to break it to them when we go out on a date.”

“Since when are we going on a date?” Klaus asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Since I’m holding your shirt for ransom and one of my demands is a date,” she explained. “So, if you want to see it again, I suggest you adhere to my rules.”

“I’ve never taken too well to demands but I suppose I could take you on a date. Although I have to say I’m curious as to what the rest of your rules are?”

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” she purred, moving forward so that her chest was lightly brushing against his, all noise and movement in the crowded hallway suddenly blocked out and it felt like it was just the two of them.

“Well, not if I get my shirt off you first, love,” Klaus growled, closing the distance between them so their lips were only inches apart.

“I’ll take that as a challenge then,” she smiled, closing the distance and pressing her lips to his. As he massaged her mouth softly, his arms snaking around her waist, Caroline couldn’t help but think how well their arrangement had worked out.

You can review on FF HERE

[friendshipcampaign]

Session Recap 2/24/2018

After spending the night in the stables and talking with Volfred, Kriv returned to the Drunken Dragon around dawn, asking Api if she knew where he could buy some plants. He had dropped the voice he’d been using around the party since they started traveling together and was instead speaking in his more natural, fairly heavily Draconic-accented one. Api noticed quickly that Kriv seemed hungover and directed him to the local apothecary, just a little down the road. 

When he arrived, he was greeted by a human woman, but after explaining to her that he was looking restock his herbalism kit, particularly anything for headaches and nausea, and being lead inside, a kobold in an oversized green robe leapt out from behind the counter and said that they would handle this, as Kriv didn’t seem to pose a threat. The kobold introduced themself as Bakna, and explained to Kriv that they sometimes didn’t show their face to certain groups of adventurers, who might be more prejudiced towards someone like themself, but that they would gladly help Kriv as the two of them “shared the blood of dragons.” Banka also grave him some recipe cards with a hangover remedy on them. After his shopping was done, Kriv returned to the Drunken Dragon -- where Api slid him a glass of water as he entered -- and went back up to his room to prepare the cure.

Voski woke Ditto up by flipping over her mattress on the ground and giving her an overly-cheerful, sing-song-y “Good Morning!” Though Ditto seemed groggy, Voski told her that she had something to talk with her about -- as well as Erwyn, if she could find him. When Ditto went downstairs to at least get some breakfast first, the elf was already down there, flipping through one of the books that he’d picked up at the Crossroads Market.

When she and Erwyn returned upstairs, they discovered that Voski had pulled the room’s endtable in front of the bed to make herself a desk, which she was sitting at, hands folded in front of her, and a peppermint-scented candle lit at one corner of it. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you here today,” she said, and proceeded to explain a proposition to them which she described as an “exciting scholarship opportunity,” saying that while she perhaps hadn’t been entirely supportive of some of the other two’s side interests in the past, she would be entirely willing to help them if they promised to pursue one thing alongside them -- researching the magic that had been bestowed on them by the Lady Elessea, and seemed to express itself at odd and potentially dangerous times. 

When she proposed the best avenue of investigation being trying to sneak into the learnstead they had heard so much about from the locals, Erwyn instantly replied with a “No, absolutely not,” much stronger than his usual response to things. Voski, at the very least seemed surprised by this, but when she and Ditto tried to discern if Erwyn was being honest, they both came to the conclusion that he was, as well as seeming very uncomfortable about the idea and perhaps unhappy about the idea that something about him had lead Voski to think he might want to visit it. With that idea rejected, Voski laid out the skills that she was confident she could offer them if they had any other ideas -- the ability to finance certain avenues of investigation and to get them into places, particularly if it involved the creation of any fake IDs. 

When Ditto and Erwyn still seemed to be pushing back, Voski pried further. She asked Ditto (who seemed distraught over the question) what exactly she’d seen when Daisy launched that ship back in Soreth. She pointed out that the other time this magic had activated, it had killed Erwyn. As she laid this out, she suggested that without understanding what was going on and with it clear that something about everyone’s proximity to each other was activating the magic, at the moment they were likely dangers to each other and themselves. Erwyn quietly pointed out that while the magic had killed him, it had probably saved her. Voski didn’t seem particularly swayed by this argument. In the end, Ditto and Erwyn both agreed they’d try to look into this further, as it was probably worth investigating, but when they asked Voski if she had any other ideas about how to start, she simply said “You’ll think of something” before shooing them out of the room.

As Erwyn and Ditto headed towards the stairs, Ditto mentioned offhand her recent weird spate of beholder dreams and waking people up with ominous pronouncements. Erwyn thought about this for a moment, before explaining to her that it wasn’t unheard of for people who had been around the remains of dead beholders to sometimes accidentally pick of some of their memories when breathing in spores that could manifest as strange dreams, but that didn’t make sense seeing as they certainly hadn’t killed one recently. Ditto suddenly remembered seeing the beholder eyestalk in the castle in Soreth, and that she’d certainly breathed something in around the same time, which she mentioned to Erwyn. He tried to reassure her that there was probably nothing to worry about, but hedged it by admitting he wasn’t an expert on the creatures and had some poor word choices that didn’t exactly help.

With everyone but Amaranth downstairs, Kriv took the initiative to grab a glass of water and his hangover remedy and take them up to her. He knocked on her door and said that he’d seen what she’d taken from the Bag of Holding the night prior, and she told him to come in. He set down the water and little potion and instructed her to take both of them, although admitted that the taste of the latter was not going to be very good. It did, however, make her feel slightly better. She told Kriv that she’d be downstairs in a bit.

Voski had started performing some little shanties, and Orsik was offering to read some of the Drunken Dragon’s patrons’ fortunes (for a price), while Erwyn had taken to a corner and started poring through his book on the planes for any mentions of the Fewyild, the only way he could think to start the research Voski had suggested. Ditto eventually wandered over to Orsik and asked him, citing his experience in Divination specifically, if he knew how to find people. When he asked her for more details, she seemed reluctant to give him much information. Orsik told her that he’d become a Divination wizard specifically because he was interested in knowing what would happen -- even it it was the end of the world. This comment spooked Ditto severely, and his follow-up statement that he’d like to know what kinds of trouble she’d gotten into did so even more, to the point that she ducked out of the conversation entirely, making an excuse about needing to write some things in the Tome of Mynskay.

When Amaranth finally came downstairs, she tripped on the last step and fell face-down on the floor, making a loud noise. She pulled herself back up and went to sit next to Kriv, who encouraged her to get something light to eat and rubbed her shoulder a little. She got some toast. Meanwhile, Kriv was on his third breakfast. Eventually, he asked her about the occasion for the drinking, and Amaranth admitted that watching him go down in the fight with the shadows had been a pretty big scare. When Kriv made a comment about everything working out because the party was doing their best, Amaranth quietly said that “Sometimes your best isn’t enough.” Voski, meanwhile, seemed to have noticed Amaranth looking rough and surreptitiously started playing a Song of Rest.

Ditto ultimately wandered back to Orsik, and decided to give him a description of Daisy. When he explained he could really only find her through his connections to mostly non-magical channels, she added that he should tell people that she was dangerous. As they talked, Orsik offered to help teach Ditto Sending, seeing as she might have more luck finding Daisy as someone who actually knew her. Ditto agreed to that, closing off their conversation by saying “You’re a little terrifying, but you seem like a good egg.”

By the time the party actually got moving, it was early afternoon. Their travel day was uneventful and as it started to get dark they found themselves at a major intersection -- one road leading to Deepwell, and the learnstead beyond it, another to the north, and the third deeper into the forest. The bird they’d been given seeming to be directing them south, onto the last one. There was a particularly large shrine to Fharlanghn near the crossroads, and they decided that it would be a good place to spend the night. Concerned about more shadows, Ditto put up some wards that the Tome of Mynskay had offered as a possibly way to counter undead, or at least warn them that they were coming, and everyone decided to sleep inside Voski’s Leomund’s Tiny Hut (which she st up inside the shrine).

As everyone was about to fall asleep (with Kriv offering to take first watch), Erwyn knelt next to where Voski had already laid down and asked her if she really thought that the learnstead was their best option to get a better idea of what was going on with the fae magic bound to them. She replied that it certainly felt like their best lead, and Erwyn apologized for reacting so strongly to the suggestion earlier if that was the case. He said that his reasons for not wanting to go there were selfish, and if she really thought it was something that cold help everyone, he would be willing to go along with the plan. Voski suggested they sleep on it.

As he kept watch, Kriv heard an odd squelching noise behind him. He turned around to see nothing there. There was another squelch after he turned away, and when he looked back again, the small chest that people generally put things in for passing travelers had moved closer. He tossed a piece of bread at it and it snapped open, seeming to eat it, and closed again. As soon as this happened, Kriv shook Amaranth awake and told her something was wrong. She got up and tried to poke the chest with her sword. The first time, nothing happened. The second, it deformed and leapt at her.

The attack stuck to Amaranth after it hit, but she was able to break free and stab the mimic, shouting “Hey everybody, wake up!” Ditto snapped awake, though her attempt to Levitate the chest failed. Voski woke up as well, though much more lazily. As Kriv smashed the mimic with his warhammer, several of the pieces of paper tacked onto the walls of the room flew off it, one of them attaching itself to his face, and another onto Amaranth’s. She cut it off her face with her dagger.

Despite his being a light trancer, it took longer to rouse Erwyn, perhaps because he’d been so exhausted recently. But he ultimately snapped awake and fired an arrow at the larger mimic, which hit with a rippling flash of silver light. Orsik, too, finally woke up, but failed to hit his target with a Poison Spray and instead headed towards the door. Ditto Magic Missile’d the large mimic, and followed after Orsik. When Voski got around to shooting the same on with her little hand crossbow, it collapsed into a shapeless puddle. She also inspired Kriv -- by saying “You got it, just like, pull it off, it’s fine.”

Kriv managed to pull the smaller mimic off his face and followed after Ditto. The paper mimic used the “ink” swirling across its surface to make a rude gesture at him. He made one back. The same paper then reattached to Amaranth’s face, and the other remaining one got Erwyn. The rogue was able to rip it off again with her dagger, and Erwyn managed to remove his mimic as well. Orsik then used Prestidigitation to catch the one near Erwyn on fire.

Ditto stepped outside the reaches of the Tiny Hut, remembered that she wouldn’t be able to see through it, and stepped back inside. Tiktik, however, who had followed her out, remained outside. Ditto then hit the remaining paper mimics with Magic Missile and destroyed one.

With one mimic remaining, Voski stepped in front of Erwyn to cast a Thunderwave at it. It managed to destroy the paper mimic, but as it hit the opposite wall, she noticed it ripple. The Tiny Hut dissapated, and at that point, the door to the shrine swung shut. Tentacles sprouted from the walls and wrapped around Ditto and Orsik, and the walls around the party started closing in on them.

Kriv attacked the tentacles holding Orsik and Ditto with his warhammer, using Divine Smites both times and getting them to drop the wizards. From outside, Volfred telepathically asked Kriv what to do. The paladin told him to use his best judgement and the goat attacked the wall. Amaranth started hacking at where the door had been with her swords, watching it form a small slit that then closed again. Erwyn fired another arrow, this time at one of the walls, which hit with the same silver flash. Seeing a small opening appear when he did so, Ditto used the glimpse of the outside to Misty Step out of the massive mimic, casting Fire Bolt as soon as she was outside to test and see if it would light on fire, or just get burned. It appeared to be the latter.

Back inside, Voski tried to attack the same area Amaranth had with her longsword, but missed. The giant mimic landed grappling attacks with its tentacles on Erwyn and Amaranth. Kriv again landed Divine Smites on both to free his fellow party members. Amaranth continued to land hits on the mimic from inside, but with the walls closing everyone in at very close range, Erwyn was forced to draw his sword instead of continuing to use his bow and proved less successful with it. 

Ditto cast a Fireball on the mimic from outside, which caused it to collapse into a puddle of goo -- but around everyone else who was still trapped inside. Only Orsik was able to react quickly enough to keep his head out of the muck. Voski, too, was able to squirm out a little, but not much, and asked “Little help?” As Kriv poked his own head out, Volfred trotted over to assist her. She inspired the goat, who pulled her out and flopped onto the ground.

Orsik used Alter Self to give himself mole hands and dig his way completely out. With Erwyn and Amaranth failing to make their way out, Ditto scanned the pile of goo to try to catch a glimpse of one of them. When she noticed a visible scrap of Erwyn’s cloak, she tried Levitating him into the air -- revealing that he’d been knocked unconscious when the mimic collapsed on them. Similarly, Voski directed Volfred to where she thought Amaranth might be, and dug Kriv out herself. The paladin made his way over to where Erwyn was hovering and, though he wasn’t entirely sure how, was somehow able to channel healing energy through the scale relic that he’d been given and restore Erwyn to consciousness from afar, causing the elf to start to flail in a panic in mid-air. Kriv felt the scale diffuse a strange, calming warmth into him.

Volfred unearthed Amaranth, who had also been knocked unconscious -- not instantly, as Erwyn had, but from the ongoing acid damage caused by the giant mimic’s remains. Tiktik flew over to Erwyn and dragged him out from over the goop so that Ditto could lower him safely to the ground. Once he was close enough, Kriv grabbed his hand and brought him down. Orsik dug Amaranth out with his mole hands, but couldn’t lift her, calling to Kriv for help. Instead, Voski dragged her from the goo and used Cure Wounds on her.

As everyone stood around, fishing belongings from the mess and recovering from the intense combat, Voski sidled over to Erwyn and leaned on her sword. She made a comment that maybe the shortest route to a place was actually the best, although there was always the possibility of taking a little longer than was entirely necessary on their way back.

The party saw a dim light approaching from the south, which eventually showed itself to be a lamp carried on a pole by a giant slug-like creature, with a glowing pendant on one of their antennae in the shape of a scroll. A second, toothy mouth opened above its main one, and announced, “Hey! I’m Kitty! You know, you really shouldn’t be out here this late at night.”

[postcardsfromanferny]

Best of 2017: 90 Songs You Need To Hear

It feels cliché to talk about 2017 as the monstrous entity that it was. Mostly because we all know it. That’s all we talked about all year. (And anyone who doesn’t see it as a series of obstacles probably has a very different opinion on what makes America and humanity great.) 

Luckily the music was good. Very good. Some of it was a reaction to 2017, but a lot of it wasn’t. It was just great art that dealt with politics on the personal level. Discussing love, loss, anger, gender, race, technology, fun nights, and oppression weren’t inventions of 2017--and some of these issues have been bubbling for long enough that the explosion was going to happen regardless. So there’s not much else for me to say that these great creators haven’t already done. 

My initial hope of doing 30 great tracks stretched and stretched...and so now we have 90 tracks. The first 5 are the ones tattooed on my heart. The next 25 are just so damn good I wanted to make sure you heard them. And the remaining are in alphabetical order just for the sake of ease. Below is the embedded spotify playlist too. 

1. Just Dancing – Sylvan Esso

The beginning of a relationship is the most visceral part because you have the rush of “firsts” with a person. “Just Dancing” looks at the reality of hopping from person to person (via dating apps) just to keep yourself in a constant state of early love euphoria. It’s a simple concept laid over a building dance track that is as exciting as it is rueful.

2. This Country – Fever Ray Who knew the protest song we all needed in 2017 would come from a Swede exploring her sexuality? Whether she’s talking about her native land or the U.S. or the world at large, Fever Ray (aka Karin Dreijer) lets a creepy synth trickle beneath her haunting voice until she exclaims “Free abortions! And clean water! Destroy nuclear! Destroy boring!” Leading to an unexpectedly cathartic “This country makes it hard to fuck!”

3. Pleasure – Feist You can always tell a Leslie Feist guitar moment. It manages to be aggressive and delicate, and that carries through every note of this title track. As Feist navigates the meaning of pleasure—is it personal or public? Natural or manufactured? It’s a heady topic built on a riff PJ Harvey would be proud of (not to mention the vocal range displayed here), all leading up to a clap along finale that sounds somewhere between defiant and exuberant.

4. Slow Disco – St. Vincent On her latest album Annie Clark goes big and personal, to varying degrees of success. But it’s no accident that the album’s highlight is a track that feels like the natural extension of her best work (think Strange Mercy meets Teenage Talk). It’s languid but weird in all the right places—including her own pitch-shifted vocals on an a funereal outro.

5. Ocean – Goldfrapp It’s been a long time since Goldfrapp went epic in the truest sense of the word. Early tracks like Utopia and Strict Machine were wildly different but had one thing in common: They were unrelenting in going big—and then even bigger when you expected them to back down. Ocean follows suit with a cinematic sound that closes the album on perhaps the darkest note of the band’s career. “I borrowed bones, I borrowed skin to save me from the hell I’m in.”

6. Make Love Stay – Blue Hawaii 7. Blood on Me – Sampha 8. The System Only Dreams in Total Darkness – The National 9. WWWater – WWWater 10. Dangerous – The xx 11. Build a Fire – Young Ejecta 12. Heatwave – Amber Mark 13. No Worries – Sarah Jaffe 14. Moving as One – LOYAL 15. Put Your Money on Me – Arcade Fire 16. Underwater – Millie Turner 17. Throwing Lines – Kelly Lee Owens 18. London – Maty Noyes 19. Disco Tits – Tove Lo 20. after that – yaeji 21. Someone – Anna Of The North 22. Glue – Bicep 23. Kids – LIA LIA 24. Lucky Girl – Fazerdaze 25. Flatline – Nelly Furtado 26. Everlasting Love – Sabrina Claudio 27. Deathless – Ibeyi (featuring Kamasi Washington) 28. On My Mind (Jorja Smith X Preditah) – Jorja Smith, Preditah 29. call the police – LCD Soundsystem 30. Baby – Tei Shi

Lotto in Reverse – Alex Lahey Some Mistakes – Anna Wise Paradise – ANOHNI Fire – Beth Ditto I Feel Alright - Mura Masa Remix – Bonzai, Mura Masa Country Girl – Boy Harsher 1UL – Danny L Harle Trees On Fire – DJDS, Amber Mark, Marco Mckinnis Get It Together – Drake, Black Coffee, Jorja Smith Heat Of The Night – Eat More Cake Go To Hell – Empress Of Falling – Forever Always Ascending – Franz Ferdinand Love You More – Fyfe No Horses – Garbage Kids (Ain't All Right) – Grace Mitchell 1986 – HÅN Controller – Hercules & Love Affair, Faris Badwan Godmanchester Chinese Bridge – The Howl & The Hum I Won't Judge – Jacques Greene Purple Feelings (feat. Rainsford) – Jerry Folk, Rainsford Love To Love – Jessie Ware Something Bout Our Love – JONES Al oeste – Juana Molina Sleepwalker – Julie Byrne LMK – Kelela Sleep Deprived – LÉON Leave the War With Me – London Grammar Wait For Me – Luca D'Alberto I'm Not A Disco – Maja Francis Sober (Over You) – Melis Tailwhip – Men I Trust Sleeping in My Own Bed – Morly 1 Night (feat. Charli XCX) – Mura Masa, Charli XCX Shouting at the Dark – The Mynabirds Cuffed – Nick Hakim Nobody – Niia 2 Good 2 Be True – Nite Jewel Off The Radar – Noga Erez Let Your Hair Down – Ouri, Mind Bath Choir – Perfume Genius Closer – POWERS Crocodile Tears – Ralph Sticky – Ravyn Lenae Dance With A Ghost – Sara Hartman Shine a Light – Shabazz Palaces, Quazarz, Thaddillac Kimono Hill – Sophia Kennedy Visions of Gideon – Sufjan Stevens Hands Up Head Down – Sure Sure Shake Em Off – Syd The Weekend – SZA Moonshine Freeze – This Is The Kit Further – TOPS Up The Creek – Tori Amos Fear & Force – Vagabon Falling (feat. Okay Kaya) – Vera, Okay Kaya Virtue – Vero I / You – vōx Bleed – WENS Stay for Real – Young Galaxy

[footyplusau]

Spluttering Saints can still find some steam

Sometimes a mid-season break can derail a side just when it’s building a nice head of steam. And on some occasions, it’s perfectly timed. And when the bye rounds start next week, that’s what it will be for St Kilda.

A fortnight ago, the Saints had just won their fifth game from six, were 5-3 and on points, equal fourth on the ladder. But to say the last two games have delivered a reality check would be an understatement.

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Kangaroos clinch bizarre win over Carlton

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AFL plays of round 10

AFL plays of round 10

Top Cat takes a screamer, Buddy deadly but Burgoyne all silk, Garlett turns it on in Alice, Tiges rule Dreamtime at the G and Greene brilliance delivers in the West.

Kangaroos clinch bizarre win over Carlton

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Kangaroos clinch bizarre win over Carlton

Kangaroos clinch bizarre win over Carlton

North Melbourne amassed a huge lead over Carlton before somehow falling behind, only to respond with five last term goals.

Was Weitering confused?

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Was Weitering confused?

Was Weitering confused?

North Melbourne Midfielder Taylor Garner was in the right place at the right time to capitalise on a rare mistake from Jacob Weitering.

Collingwood dismiss Brisbane

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Collingwood dismiss Brisbane

Collingwood dismiss Brisbane

Collingwood kept their feint finals hopes alive with a win over bottom of the table Brisbane.

More umpiring controversy at MCG

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More umpiring controversy at MCG

More umpiring controversy at MCG

There was nothing in it late in the second term at the MCG and many were confused over this ruling.

Adelaide destroy Fremantle in wet

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Adelaide destroy Fremantle in wet

Adelaide destroy Fremantle in wet

The Crows demonstrated their Premiership credentials as they destroyed the Dockers.

Tigers finally clinch tight one

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Tigers finally clinch tight one

Tigers finally clinch tight one

Richmond have put four consecutive losses behind them with a 81-66 defeat of Essendon in front of a record regular season Saturday night crowd at the MCG.

AFL plays of round 10

Top Cat takes a screamer, Buddy deadly but Burgoyne all silk, Garlett turns it on in Alice, Tiges rule Dreamtime at the G and Greene brilliance delivers in the West.

Coach Alan Richardson could gild the lily and point out that the subsequent two losses have been to last season’s grand finalists. Fortunately for the Saints, he’s too smart for that.

The reality is that St Kilda is now 10th at 5-5, and facing a season-defining month after the break, taking in what is currently the toughest task in football, Adelaide away, a North Melbourne to whom they’ve lost on the last six occasions, Gold Coast then a second road trip to Perth to play Fremantle. It gets arguably harder still after that.

Key indicators: The Saints after round nine against the Sydney Swans. Photo: Getty Images

Assessing just where any team sits in the pecking order has been even harder than usual this year. But a side which finished ninth with a bullet last season and recruited well would have expected more come this point.

Of the Saints’ five wins, only that Friday night triumph over GWS stands out, those against Brisbane and Carlton routine victories, and Collingwood and Hawthorn beaten when they were at low ebbs. Have St Kilda actually improved at all? It’s a valid question.

The Saints are one win better off than at the same stage last year. They haven’t suffered as many heavy defeats. But most of the other key indicators remain about where they were. And some of the problems the same.

On paper going into this season, St Kilda appeared to have a midfield group now of sufficient depth to challenge the big guns. It hasn’t quite worked out like that.

Even with Seb Ross’ continued improvement, Jack Steven is still very much a barometer for the Saints. When he struggles, like on Saturday when he was effectively curbed by Bulldog Lachie Hunter, so do the Saints.

David Armitage’s loss through injury hasn’t helped, ditto the absence of recruit Koby Stevens in several games through illness and suspension. The drop-off and subsequent dropping of Luke Dunstan has been bad timing for both he and the Saints.

Jack Steele has been a handy pick-up and Jack Newnes is having a decent season, but it’s Ross and defender Dylan Roberton who have been St Kilda’s standouts so far. More of the midfield brigade needed to be among that number.

The Saints have an unhealthy number of players who should be regular midfield contributors but at this stage remain primarily small forwards who might have an occasional run on the ball. Jack Billings, Jade Gresham, Jack Lonie, Jack Sinclair, Nathan Wright and Darren Minchington are among that number.

So is Mav Weller, who at the moment contributes little either as a midfielder or even as a defensive forward. And none of that group hit the scoreboard hard enough, win enough ball or prevent their opponents winning it often enough to be carried and St Kilda still win more often than it did.

Things are still hard going when Nick Riewoldt is out injured, with a subsequent domino effect, making life harder than ever up forward for someone like Tim Membrey, who on Saturday had a still raw Paddy McCartin for company with Josh Bruce having lost all form and been dropped to the VFL.

For all that, the Saints continue to score at about the same rate as last season. It’s the midfield’s unevenness at the root of much of the problem, lack of defensive run seeing St Kilda regularly scored against out the back, and the percentage of uncontested possession allowed the opposition still the highest in the AFL.

The weekend off will at least give Richardson and his coaching crew a little more time to sit back and take a longer view of just where the Saints are at. And the picture isn’t completely disastrous.

The forward set-up can be fixed. The defence, in Nathan Brown and Jake Carlisle, has the necessary foundations for the next few seasons at least. And those midfield issues may improve simply with a still youthful mix getting more games under their belts.

It’s the greater weight of expectation as much as anything which has St Kilda being marked more harshly than before. And dealing with that is just another step in any side’s gradual learning curve.

So far, 2017 hasn’t been the giant step forward St Kilda fans were hoping for. But as the Saints reset for the second half of the football year, Richardson finding the necessary tweaks to the engine, that doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be one taken backwards, either.

After another loss, the Swans look dejected but even at 3-7 it’s tough to write them off. Photo: Getty Images

This is one weird football season. One in which there are virtually no certainties. One in which tipping is a lottery. And one in which, almost at the halfway point, we still seem barely to have separated any wheat from the chaff.

Check the ladder. Three games separate third  from 14th. And 15th just happens to be a grand finalist from last year. At 3-7, Sydney is almost out of contention now, but somehow still with a percentage of more than 100. That percentage, not to mention a couple of very impressive wins over North Melbourne then St Kilda, speaks volumes of the Swans’ competitiveness, even in what, by their standards, has been a disastrous year.

No one should doubt Sydney’s worth as a finalist if by some miracle they can still make it. Needing to win at least nine of their remaining dozen games, plus have many of the seven sides immediately above them stumble is, however, some sort of roadblock to get past.

How on earth do we separate this many contenders? Particularly over the next few weeks, when the bye rounds leave the ladder unbalanced?

Reliability has to be a key measuring stick for now. Geelong might be third on the ladder, but the Cats’ credibility is going to be put squarely under the microscope over the next month, starting with a home clash against Adelaide on Friday, but then after a week off, one against West Coast in Perth and GWS a fortnight later.

In a Melbourne Cup field, three sides at this stage loom as the most reliable.

One, the Western Bulldogs, shouldn’t be any surprise. Though they’ve never quite reached the heights of last year, the Dogs’ four losses have all been narrow, and form and injury issues means there’s still plenty of scope for improvement.

The other two, though, would have raised plenty of eyebrows at the start of the season. Port Adelaide’s percentage of 144.4 is phenomenal for a team only just inside the eight.

The Power probably should have beaten Geelong on Thursday night, but that was one of three narrow losses, while they also led the Giants at three-quarter time.

Richmond, meanwhile, however much the Tigers have fluffed their lines at big moments, has been within 13 points of a 9-1 record. Like the Power and the Bulldogs, they might not necessarily reach the same highs as others have.

But perhaps 2017 is a season where having fewer lows might be even more important.

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