#//because there IS always a reason. otherwise they'd stop getting money

[spectrumspace]

The hilarious thing is, if you actually go and read the article, it links to their actual research paper, in which is is revealed that they are, in fact, looking into technology that could be used to treat stuff like cancer.

oh dang, it's gonna take them even longer to get home in that

[Image description a news screenshot reading "Physicists make tiny model of Star Trek's USS Voyager that's smaller than a human hair"]

[stringsbasement]

Thoughts on Irep?

i find him to be pretty cool!! i actually wrote up a response for this question before i was even aware he made an appearance in the latest episode, and surprisingly got a few things right. so i'll paraphrase some of that original text:

"a new wish has been consistently bringing back older characters and concepts to re-introducing them in a way that expands and strengthens the existing lore. it isn't a question of whether irep would appear, but in what manner. because of how peri is, unless they make an insane twist that would negate all the fluff the cosma-fairywinkle family has had up until this point, (which i doubt,) irep would still be an antagonist. so they'd have to introduce him as a real threat, along with a new rule"

and they did

my first thought was that irep is hideous and i LOVE him for that. i truly do. i couldn't stop laughing. 10/10. what even is that haircut. someone get him a barber from fairy world

my second thought was that having him be an anti-fairy godparent to dev is fantastic. i already enjoy dev's character and his constant conflicts with everyone around him, because i believe it's only accurate, you know? for someone who has been neglected and led on for so long, the only thing he wants is for someone to consistently be there for him, and yet, there's always something that gets in the way. there's always a but when it comes to loving him

so he fills the void with material possessions and glory that he knows deep down he doesn't need or want

this show is threatening to break the characters' core beliefs than actual, physical dangers. in the original show, the threats have mainly been death, physical injury, or otherwise world-ending catastrophes. most of hazel and dev's problems are "small-scale" compared to those. the plot instead hinges on their relationship and internal character conflicts. a new wish is about family relations and trust. dev's lack of it is glaringly obvious, and it shows in his erratic behavior

i think the reason why dev hates peri is actually because he's his fairy godparent. there's a very clear-cut sense of obligation to grant his wishes. to him, peri is just another helper robot. another person to lie to his face and give him conditional love. another source of money. he already has an abundance of that, and now he has an abundance of magic too! and then dev finds out that some wishes can't be granted at all. it's like the universe is against him. i really can't blame the kid for wanting another "solution"

so we have this fundamentally good but misguided character who is offered that solution in the form of a demon. if that's what gets him his happiness, he'll do whatever it takes, since taking is all he's ever known

what i particularly enjoy is dev's willingness to do these bad deeds. because the thing is, dev's first wish was something he thought up himself. and irep never gave suggestions. it's not so much that irep has a magical influence over him that makes him do bad things, but that dev is naturally making bad decisions because he thinks it's what'll fix all his problems. that means it'll also be up to him to realize the weight of his actions and the awfulness of his father. then again, he didn't blame his father for his actions in the ep "operation: birthday takeback,' but hazel. he also doesn't think to hold himself accountable for any of the events that occurred in "lost in fairy world," even though it was his fault too. so i don't expect him to realize it right away, or in a sensible manner. it would be funny if dev tries to summon irep through ritual, or barges into anti-fairyworld demanding him. i'm thinking that we'll get a friday the 13th episode, but we can only speculate so much with what we have

the episode does bring up some other cool things to think about:

"it's irep now thanks to your irritating son's name change!" now this line really caught my eye, because it puts into question the free will of anti fairies. in irep's first appearance as foop, he already found his name "unfortunate," merely accepting it instead of, you know, changing his name to something that separates him from poof. they're trapped in their realm and they have to abide by the rules set in place by the fairies, unable to so much as fight back without using legal technicalities because their jorgen is too weak to help. this is already an unbalanced dynamic. and then in the episode "terrors twosome," it's shown that anti-fairies are quite literally tied to their counterparts, and not just branching off of each other in a "what if" scenario. they're a separate kind of entity meant to compliment fairies, but not so much the other way around

i say this because the second fairies stopped having babies, anti-fairies did too. i don't think we get to see or have anyone comment about how it went down, so anti-cosmo might've been as much of a handful as cosmo was, but if they're meant to be opposites, wouldn't anti-cosmo be an easy baby? independent from the get-go like irep was? then it wouldn't be that they chose to stop having babies, but that they couldn't. not without their counterpart having them first

but even if this was all true, they genuinely seem to enjoy creating the chaos that they do. their intentions are always just as cartoonishly bad as we think it is

if irep wanted chaos, he could just try causing it on his own, but then jorgen would be involved if ever the wishes get too big and out of hand. could having a godchild be another loophole? "a child must always get what they want" is a legitimate rule that was able to override the other rules set, and allowed hazel to have cosmo and wanda as her godparents even if they failed the trials

if an anti-fairy had a godchild, they'll be free to cause a moderate amount of chaos whenever they want as long as it was to the whims of the child. also, it's clear irep still has issues with validation and being compared to peri, since he tears up and goes "that's all i ever wanted to hear," when dev calls him better than peri. it's funny to see irep still clings on to their rivalry when it looks like peri could care less about it anymore

buuutttt i like to think that irep genuinely wants a godchild. there's a deleted scene from the episode "oddlympics" (found it on page 5 of this script) where anti-cosmo cries over not having a godchild, which we know that fairies use to fill the "void" of not being able to have children. irep mostly takes after his father, and even from the little time we've seen with him on the same screen as his parents, it's clear that anti-wanda loves him as well. and, for all his attempts to make himself look evil and irredeemable, he was jealous of peri, who was famous and had the love and adoration of the masses for existing. he wants that for himself, too. it's why he wanted peri gone in the first place

(that info combined with peri and irep's mutual hate for theatre means that fairies and anti-fairies may still share some similarities not reliant on their innate link to each other)

so, imo, it's not a stretch to think that irep wants a kid to love and who will love him in turn, albeit in a sorta corrupt way. it would be an interesting twist too!!

all-in-all, i'm excited for what the show will have in store for peri, irep, and dev. i expect a silly episode where peri and irep go head-to-head with granting dev's wishes, and i'm hoping for an ep that shows irep and his anti-parents

that's all,

:)

[yandere-fics]

ooooh i love those "darling wants to break up" scenarios... how would the sisters react to their darling wanting to end stuff?

♡ How They React To Their Darling Trying To Break Up ♡

♡ There are plenty of valid reasons to want to break up with Skye, namely her emotional unavailability. It gets frustrating after awhile that she is never willing to be vulnerable until you are first, she's had this issue with previous lovers, however you are the first who she has been yandere for so while with past ones she would always break it off before they could, with her she was just desperately hoping you were not actually going to do it while being unable to will herself to do anything to fix it and once you do dump her, she grins and bears it trying to will herself to not care and not be emotional about this. ♡

♡ She tries very hard to ignore it and seem like she could care less but everyone can tell that she's practically a walking corpse. In the end Sophie has to step in and perhaps the basement for you so that way her sister can be happy again. Skye falls into a delusion after you leave her with her three extremely delusional sisters whispering in her ear that they know you didn't mean it because you and her were the best couple they'd seen in awhile. Skye is the most lucid sister but her sisters help her to lean into her instincts and so by the time you're in her basement, she sees absolutely nothing wrong with her actions anymore. ♡

♡ Sophie would stop talking and just stand there, not leaving your room or house for an hour, just thinking about what the hell you just said. You can scream and yell at her to leave or you can even apologize for what you said and take it back but she's still frozen in place. Her house really wasn't prepared for this yet, she didn't want to have to kidnap you when she was still living with Skye because there's only one basement in the house and she doesn't want to take up the basement when her sister might need the basement too but Sophie can't risk letting you roam in her house until she makes you realize how relationships ought to be. It's a blessing for her that you don't realize everything she's thinking otherwise you'd already be calling the police on her. ♡

♡ It takes her a bit to come to a conclusion about what to do with you, while she doesn't like it she'll just have to lock you in your own apartment with nothing in it for you to escape so that way she has time to prepare the basement for you. This will have to be a rushed job, she stands guard near your apartment even though she's pretty sure you'll be asleep for the next few hours after she knocked you out, meanwhile she's on the phone with her sisters directing them to everything they need to get. Ellie is hacking your wishlists online to use Sophie's crime money to spoil you, Darla is spreading rumors you left town temporarily so no one will report you missing, and Skye is cleaning the basement so everything can be loaded in there. ♡

♡ She just simply laughs. You probably did it in private to spare her feelings since she didn't seem harmful enough to need to do it publicly. She was a bit clingy sure but your girlfriend was by no means dangerous, right? If she was then there's no way she'd be nearly as popular as she is. Still you weren't expecting her to laugh and turn to you, "gently" reminding you that she could ruin your entire life just out of boredom one day so it's not in your best interest to leave. People would automatically assume the fault lies with you if you two were to split so she's just protecting you from making a really bad choice. Anyways what do you want to do tonight? You two should go on a date. ♡

♡ If even her threats didn't work then she'll just have to figure something. She won't make good on her threats, instead she'll complain to all her friends about how she just got so busy on exams and then some random bitch acted like she was cheating on you so you had a little misunderstanding and the poor thing is just so scared of you hating her and she just doesn't know how she'll win you back. And thus begins the entire schools campaign to get you back in Darla's arms, and it will work eventually. It likely won't even be a week until you cave, she's very sure about this and after that she's going to make sure you're tied to her forever. ♡

♡ Hah! As if you could break up with her. You're literally trapped in her apartment from the moment she decides she loves you so if you do decide to try breaking up with her, just to see if that will work she will simply start biting you everywhere so it's undeniable that you are with her. How could you break up with her when you are covered in her marks? If she bit it then it's hers and therefore you are extra hers because you have been bitten literally everywhere. You're so stupid for thinking this would work. She has to do all she can to remind you that you are hers. You can never doubt it again. She knows she's not the best partner but at least she's trying why can't you understand that? ♡

♡ She's going to take a couple days off of work the first time you say it to show you how good of a girlfriend she can be and she'll also start making herself work quicker, not bothering to eat and neglecting her health while she's working so she can spend more time with you from now on. She's been trying to get a promotion but that can wait until you understand that she's doing all this work to make up for all her faults. You wouldn't want to be with her if it wasn't for all her work, she knows this for a fact so please just let her do her best to become worthy of you. ♡

[cinnamonest]

So I have the biggest thing for restraints ever. What kind do the Genshin boys use and what scenario do they get them out?

(Anon bless you for giving me the opportunity to return to "sadistic and feels guilty about it but can't stop enjoying it" Kazuha agenda, I love you for this)

Yesss so I know you probably mean like s/m type restraint, and this is not really restraints in a sexual sense, but there is "enclosure" as a technical form of restraint, to address first. This is basically just keeping you in a large, enclosed area. The ones who utilize this the most would be Zhongli, Ayato, Diluc, and Xingqiu.

The latter three (Rich boy trio lmao) all make use of their wealth and status by using the same general tactic: keeping you in their respective estates. Ayato and Xingqiu have the easiest time of this, as their respective family estates have actual armed guards posted everywhere, who won't hesitate to grab and drag you back if need be. There's essentially a network of people all trained to keep an eye out for you, and detain you on sight if you're not where you should be. Diluc doesn't have the same heavy security, but there's so many maids and servants crawling around the house at all times, and you're no match for them, so it's not really all that much different from guards.

Thankfully, these three allow you to roam the house most of the time, but not outside. You may be allowed to go outside with him, or with appointed chaperones in his absence, but there's someone breathing down your neck all the time regardless, and even when you're inside, there's always eyes on you. In particular, Diluc might allow you to walk around the estate grounds by yourself, if you've been there a long time and won his trust, and only during harvest season. This is because during said harvest time, he has seasonal, temporary employees for harvesting, who are also instructed to watch you. Outside of harvest season, however, he does require you to have someone accompany you, since you might sneak off undetected otherwise.

Zhongli keeps you within an abode. This is actually probably a better setup than the others, as you can roam just about wherever you want within it, provided you do not leave (and he has a mechanism in place to alert him if you do). Often times, it's rather empty, too, so you don't have too many eyes on you. If you've been disobedient, however, he'll lock you into and thereby confine you to your own room, a far more restrictive amount of space. If you're very, very good, he may even take you outside... but only with him.

-

As far as more literal restraints, for some it's a sex thing, for some it's practical, and for some it's both. The primary candidates here are Childe, Heizou, Albedo, Xiao and Kazuha.

Ajax bounces back and forth. He often leaves you unrestrained on purpose, because he likes the way you struggle. But to be clear, it's entirely a sex thing. He has no practical need for restraints, you're kept in what is one of the highest degrees of security just by the sheer number of Fatui crawling all over the place at all times anyway. If you step out of bounds, they'd have you pinned to the ground before you could take another step. So it's not out of necessity.

But as much as he likes feeling you struggle, watching you struggle against restraints is cute, too. Given the amount of money he has, he can easily afford specially made restraints, the kind that bind you into specific positions. Namely, he gets this one that forces you into a face-down-ass-up position, that binds each of your wrists to your calves so you can't move. It's nice, really, because sometimes after a long day, he just wants to make things a bit easier, you know?

-

Xiao's is practical, there's not much to the reason behind it. He's just very paranoid, so, keeping you in an abode isn't enough for him. His is simple, just a chain connecting your ankle to the wall, just to ensure you can't get out. He does kind of like it, but it's more of an "easier access" thing than anything. It makes sure you can't maneuver your leg around too much, and in between your legs is the place he's trying to get to, so that means he only really has to deal with one leg, which makes it a lot easier!

He starts with just one. Upon managing to escape it, however, more intense measures clearly need to be taken. However, the incident of escape really, really triggers a sense of anxiety in him, so it's not the sort of thing where the restraints gradually get more intense with each attempt, no. From the very first escape, he goes all out in the future. Forces you spread-eagle, each wrist and ankle spread to each corner of the bed, and a blindfold over your eyes, too. It's for your own good, he tells you.

Over time, you may be able to get him to reduce the restraints, but it takes a long time (at his age, perceived passage of time for you is a mere fraction of the same perception of time for him), and a lot of compliance with someone who can often be rather difficult to comply with.

-

Heizou is somewhere in the middle. He needs a way to keep you from leaving his room, as he lives in the city, so it's originated in necessity, but quickly becomes something more. Thankfully, it's not hard for him to get a way to restrain you quickly. The department has plenty of spare handcuffs laying around, so he just swipes one (hey, it's not theft if he records it as lost property and pays for a replacement with his own paycheck to clear his conscience). He loops it through one of the bars on the headboard above his bed, and keeps your hands bound to it that way, tape over your mouth. It's practical, but... as he's turning his head over his shoulder to look one last time before going out the door, something about seeing you like that is... exciting. It occupies his thoughts for the rest of the day, he can't get the mental image out of his mind.

He accepts this facet of himself pretty quickly, though. He's heard of other people being into stuff like that, so it's not bad, right? It's fairly normal, and it's not hurting you or anything. He's not so much of a sadist, he doesn't really hurt you, he just likes seeing you unable to move around, the feeling of control. He lets you out of them once you earn his trust, while he's there at least, but whenever he leaves you go back to it. He'd be lying if he said part of it wasn't how hard it makes him whenever he's on his way home each evening, already getting excited just at the thought of opening the door to the same sight as always. It's intoxicating with euphoria, seeing the light pour into the room onto your body all restricted, he never gets tired of it. Eventually he may swipe a second and third pair to keep your ankles connected to the end of the bed, too, legs spread all apart.

-

Albedo is very well aware of what he likes, and also accepts it with ease, not even needing to justify it to himself. He's also very transparent about it. If you were to accuse him of getting off to it, he more or less just blinks at you for a moment. Yes, what of it? The man doesn't have a lot of shame when it comes to such things, so you won't have any success trying to get him to feel embarrassed or anything, and it's even more hopeless to try and get him to feel guilty for it.

He invests in something electronic, namely a tracking device, as well as a collar... one that has these odd prongs that you can feel digging into your skin. At first, he just says it's part of the lock design, nothing more... but you can tell there's something he's not telling you. Should you go beyond the front door and trigger the electrocution device, you'll certainly find out.

But above all, he tends to like rope more than anything. It's more versatile, you can really do whatever you want with it rather than being limited to a few specific positions and areas for restraint. Besides, it can be done all ornately and intricately in a way that looks stunningly alluring, beautiful even, so it appeals to his artistic side as well. Inazuma has a well-known rope bondage tradition, so, he picks up some booklets containing detailed tutorials, and makes it a goal to master the art of it, little by little. And, well, you should know that once he sets his mind to something, he doesn't give up, so you'll just have to try and endure being a living canvas.... and maybe convince him to invest in some soothing oils for the occasional rope burn.

-

Unlike Albedo and Heizou, however, Kazuha has difficulty accepting it... yet, he's probably the most excited by it of anyone. This is probably due to it being combined with his darker impulses to cause actual pain, so he associates both as being disgusting, awful things that he should (and does) feel guilty for, at least at first. He tends to apologize all the time as he does it, mumbling and stammering that he doesn't want to do this (he does), it's just necessary (it's not), and he hopes you can learn to be more reasonable so this can stop (please don't).

The sadistic tendencies are a thing of their own, but his fixation on restraint can be much more easily rationalized to himself as a matter of your safety and well-being. Does it need to be all intricate? Yes. And does it have to pull your legs apart and up to your chest? Yes. Why? Because... it just does, okay? It's just easier! He wasn't thinking about it when he did it, it wasn't intentional...

As far as the form, he goes for anything and everything. It starts with leather cuffs and chains he gets from a blacksmith. It's made for animal's necks, to tether plow animals to each other... so it's too big for your wrists. He'll just put it around your thighs, and loop the link around behind your neck. It's just practical! It was the only thing they had available, so don't look at him like that.

He gets a spreader bar, leather cuffs to keep your hands behind your back. Gags that go into your mouth - a special ring-shaped one that allows you to breathe the whole time, but makes it so you can't hide any noises you make, and makes you drool all over the place... not that that's good, it's just an observation. Thankfully, you're blindfolded too, so you won't see him gather it from where it dripped on the bed onto his fingers and lick it off. That... would probably make you give him a look that would make him feel bad.

Soon, he gets ropes too, special soft ones just for skin (why do they make ones for human skin? Dunno. No he didn't go to a shady sort of shop for it, it was being sold at a totally normal marketplace. You're the perverse one, for such a thing even coming to your mind. And eventually, after deciding it's still not enough, he gets you what he considers to be not degrading or even perverted (it's not on your body, therefore it's not a sexual thing, right?), but rather, he hopes you'll see it as a sign of affection and endearment... a nice, big cage for you to stay in. Padded and with blankets so you don't get cold. He's just been so nervous about you getting out of the cuffs and chains while he's gone during the day, so this way you'll have an extra layer of protection. Besides, you look very cute laying in it!

[artzychic27]

Do you have any angst headcanons about the science kids?

Many guys have experimented with dating Marc due to him looking feminine, and then they'd break up with him a few weeks later. It's made him afraid to ever date any guys because he's worried they're only dating him just to see if they're queer or not

Because of Lucien's influence, Marc is always finding new things to hate about himself and is worried Nathaniel will get upset with him because of his "flaws". It's gotten to a point that he started dressing how he used to when he used to date Lucien

Cosette is legitimately afraid to go back to her house after school. The treatment from her siblings and mother takes a real emotional toll on her, and she doesn't want to cry in front of them and give them more ammo

Once, they tried to use concealer to cover up their vitiligo, and got scolded for it even though their mother has made it abundantly clear she despises how they look

Aurore can't remember the last time she genuinely smiled around her parents. She's always pretending to be something she's not around them, and now any emotions she displays around them are all fake

She practices every facial expression before bed and keeps a journal of "acceptable responses" to say to her parents

Whenever Simon wakes up from nightmares about his parents, he screams, but no sound comes out. It's usually a sign he'll be nonverbal for a while

When he uses sign language, there are usually people who will scold and yell at him to talk until Simon just breaks down crying and runs away

When she was thirteen, Reshma was at this socialite party her parents were throwing, and one of her dad's colleagues felt her up when he wasn't looking. He died before she could ever tell anyone what he did

Because of this, it took Reshma a while to be able to trust any male friends of her parents, and she kept pepper spray on her out of fear

Jean always blamed himself for his mother leaving him and his dad, and it took weeks for Dejah to convince him otherwise. He hardly got up out of bed, he never talked to anyone, and he gave up the things that made him happy, convinced that his interests her the reason his mom left

When he was ten, Jean wore a skirt to school and got beat up in the bathroom during study hall by some guys a grade above him. Since that day, he's been too afraid to wear skirts and dresses

Lacey hardly ever buys anything because she's saving up her money for the event her grandparents pass away and she's tasked with taking care of her brothers

Rock climbing and parkour are the activities where she feels free and unburdened. If she were to stop, then it wouldn't be pretty

Ismael has been harassed by total strangers before the moment they heard his voice. When this one guy grabbed him while he was riding the subway, he kicked him in the balls, got off, and ran to his dad's house

He's scared for the day where Reshma may find a girlfriend and have not as much time for him, so he likes to spend every single moment with her until that day

Mireille would love to be the center of attention sometimes, but her dad will always find ways to make it grander than necessary and only cause her to close in on herself more

Mireille has some repressed anger issues because of their dad and is fearful that they may take it out on their friends one of these days

Denise has a hard time saying no, and some people like to take advantage of that when they need some heavy lifting done. It tires Denise out, but they're afraid of letting people down

They've had muscle cramps since they were twelve, but refuses to tell anybody, worried no one will want their help and they'll be useless

Zoé never got to spend any time with her dad, not because he was busy, but because of Audrey. She always forced her into some "feminine" activities like beauty pageants and debutante balls which would take up all of her time, just to make herself look good

Zoé's afraid to date anyone after one particularily bad experience with this one girl back at her old school. She was just a side piece for her to experiment with while she was still dating her boyfriend

[orionsangel86]

I'm not in the Good Omens fandom, so maybe I've got this wrong, but I suspect why everyone on my dash seems to be clamoring for an immediate fix-it besides obvious fandom impatience. I think a lot of people are convinced that basically nothing is coming back from the strikes. Tbh I kind of am myself. I've just accepted that we're never going to see Sandman s2 or GO s3 because Amazon and Netflix are shit. At least with Sandman we have the books?

I admit its a tough situation to be in. I guess for me, I am trying to have hope that the streamers will eventually see sense, because otherwise their business models are gonna fail and they are going to lose revenue anyway. Eventually some sort of deal will be made and the work will start again, I just hope beyond hope that the deal is everything the WGA and SAGAFTRA want.

I have more hope for a GOS3 than I do for a Sandman tbh. Simply because making films and TV isn't Amazon's main source of income so they can be a bit more flexible with their choices. They have renewed far less popular shows for far longer. It seems almost like the entertainment division is more a hobby or pet project for Amazon than its main focal point so IDK, I'm just not all that worried about Amazon Prime. I genuinely think Amazon is very proud of GO and they won't let go of it anytime soon. It's also one of their most popular shows so I'd be really surprised if they cancel it (though, then again, with the strikes anything can happen). We also still have the BBC backing it up I believe? Though I doubt they'd ever have the budget to take over fully if Amazon decided not to continue with it, but perhaps its possible the BBC could look for a new partner in that unlikely scenario? I dunno I'm not a media expert here by any means.

Sandman though is a different story. Extremely expensive, and on a streaming service notorious for cancelling shows mid season. With the strikes, I can see them changing their minds and cancelling Season 2 even though it started filming in some bitter attempt to get back at strikers and claim tax breaks where they can. I don't trust them at all. I loathe the Netflix execs because they have been cancelling, making excuses, and screwing over creatives for years now. They are the ones that started it all, and the other streamers simply took their ideas and ran with them. I wish Sandman had been on a different streamer. I feel like it would have been safer on Amazon Prime. Even if we do manage to get through to season 2 of Sandman, I have absolutely zero faith that we'll make it through to the end of the story on Netflix.

Though at least with Sandman, I believe (though correct me if I'm wrong) that Neil still holds all the rights, and if Netflix cancels it, he can put the option out to other networks/streamers to pick it up again? So even if Netflix does what Netflix always does, there is every possibility that it'll just jump to a different network to finish the story.

I hope that is the case, because in all honesty if I had to put money down on a bet on whether or not Netflix will follow through with Sandman right through to the Wake, I'll be betting against them. I just don't see it happening. Netflix are too flakey and well, evil, to care about stories to do it justice.

To your first point, I can understand the fear and do sympathise with fans being hurt and upset that GOS2 ended on such a grim cliffhanger, I just don't think the hate and denial and screams of "out of character!" are the way to handle that fear. But diving straight into fanfiction is a totally acceptable and encouraged way to manage the feelings anyone may have over the ending! That's totally fine! Keep the fix-its to fanfiction, but please stop clamouring for reasons why the ending was wrong and bad and stupid and worth sending Neil Gaiman inbox hate over. You're all better than that.

[butleroftoast]

A collection of reasons the Skullduggans are the worst adventuring companions probably drawn up by Morris.

-

House Skullduggan's attitude to less wealthy classes and families is conflicting. Skullduggans claim to represent the common person more than any other noble house, and certainly spend more time with them, even adopting their causes and plights as their own if it gives them something to fight about. On a personal level, however, an amount of unconscious condescension is baked into them by the nature of their upbringing. For example, they enjoy flaunting their wealth and dislike it when they're caught short financially. "Peasant" is a go-to descriptor for anything they consider cheap. They cannot get their head around facts of life for the downtrodden ("have they tried not being poor").

No matter how much a Skullduggan might want to empathise with the common man, they are brought up in such a privileged environment that they have no point of reference upon which to build.

-

Despite coming from a (usually) wealthy family and carrying enough gold with them, they will spend the group's collectively amassed funds first, without fail. They're buying this for the good of the group, right? Why should they be personally inconvenienced?

What's that? They're buying something for their exclusive use? Well, they're buying it during the adventure, so logically they should be allowed to use the money earned during said adventure. Anyway, it's still for the good of the group, because the alternative is a grumpy Skullduggan and nobody wants that. QED. If you don't like it, feel free to fight them over it.

-

-

"If you don't like it fight me" is how they end every argument, assuming their ludicrous rhetoric doesn't exhaust the other person into agreement first.

They're not completely stubborn. It is possible to change their mind in an argument. They will then argue just as vehemently for the opposing view, as if they had never altered their opinion. This is even more infuriating.

In their defence, the Marquis respects the privacy of their travelling companions -- not because they have morals, but because most of the time, they couldn't care less about other people's personal problems. Why bother pestering them with questions about themselves (boring) or rifling through their belongings (gross)?

Don't mistake this for privacy being sacrosanct, however. If they have a reason to pry, nothing will stop them. They're rich. That means they can do what they want.

Later, when the Marquis starts to consider their travelling companions as friends, they turn out to be surprisingly good at, if not listening or offering helpful advice, at least providing a welcome distraction. The catch: as they befriend people, it becomes obvious to even the most emotionally-obtuse that they have a myriad of issues themselves which they totally repress, only bringing them up as casual, flippant asides in conversation. They won't show any distress about their personal trauma, not even around the Twins, and always have on the cheerfully arrogant front, because otherwise they'd have to address their problems (gross and boring).

-

In a friendly, supportive camp setting, cooking duties are often shared around. Don't try to share them with a Skullduggan. Although they aren't totally useless around a campfire, since most of the family have had to survive in challenging military situations, they are more used to having servants or quartermasters prepare their meals. The Marquis also tends to be far too generous with supplies, wasting precious resources.

They like their food spicy, too. As a warm, sunny county, Scrantz produces a large number of hot vegetables and spices, which in turn are incorporated into common local dishes. Not only do Skullduggans have the tolerance this builds up among natives of Scrantz, but -- being who they are -- they can never turn down a challenge to eat spicy food. Your average, common adventurer may not be prepared for the level of heat they have grown accustomed to in their cooking.

-

No matter how long they've known their travelling companions, be it five months or five minutes, they will always pitch their tent in the very centre of the camp, probably in the hope that someone will challenge them on the decision and give them an excuse for a scuffle.

-

Even when the Marquis starts to become a better(ish) person, their base personality doesn't change that much. They still enjoy being loud and rowdy. They still get their kicks from winding people up. They still refuse to abandon the toxic challenging invigorating demands of their family. They just learn to appreciate the people who stick around in spite of this a little more.

[fandoms-in-law]

Dumb Intelligence

Summary: Annabelle soon after joining St Trinians become curious about Chelsea and how intelligent she seems to be

/\/\

Annabelle was the new girl. In any school that would leave her feeling left out, but in St Trinians it mostly left her able to watch the girls in their groups and outside of them more easily. She was still pulled into the school wide schemes and brought into the fold when there was something threatening the school, with no isolation given the chance to start there.

In Kelly's words, she didn't have a group so she'd need to make her own place around them. It made sense to Annabelle since Kelly seemed to have done that herself too, and she was still unclear which group the head girl might once have been in, even if the one before her seemed almost certainly a former posh totty.

It was actually the posh totty's that Annabelle was focused on currently, because she couldn't quite understand Chelsea Parker.

They'd shared English class together and a few others once Annabelle decided to try and figure out just how Chelsea seemed to succeed in all her classes while being seen as entirely focused on her looks and otherwise dumb.

Deciding your own schedule and which classes you wanted to attend was basically part of being a St Trinians girl she'd decided, especially after a list of all the students was passed around at the start of her first class, just tick off who you are to be counted for attendance in that class, tick off someone else's name to give the teachers a headache figuring out which class they actually attended out of the 5 a student was apparently inn.

“Why would the old man even believe that lie? It's obviously a lie and so clear for him to disprove it makes no sense.” Chelsea was complaining. The class discussion was on Chaucer's Merchant's Tale and the teacher was nodding back at her.

“How about you make that your focus for this unit, Miss Parker. You write about the lies, how they're easily seen through and why the characters might want to believe them.” Miss Dickinson suggested.

And there was the reason Annabelle was confused. That was a good point and a smart subject that Chelsea didn't flinch before accepting, but if asked, Annabelle knew Chelsea wouldn't be able to name the author. The only names that stayed in Chelsea's mind, seemingly, were her friends, actors or pop stars.

She says nothing, carries on mostly sticking to Kelly or her aunt when not helping with the heist or in classes. It's not her place to call out Chelsea on her intelligence or make comments on how she connects to subjects. Besides, Chelsea probably knows all this already, she was the one to jump at the chance to lead St Trinians through the School Challenge.

/\/\

Chelsea running from the stage was all the evidence Annabelle ever needed to realise no, she wasn't aware of just how smart she was, or how uniquely she connected information together. It wasn't what Annabelle was going to bring up, knowing that coming from her it might not have any impact.

Even as she called out to Chelsea and got her to stop, Annabelle was focusing on the heist, intending to mention that, or offer to sort out the issue with the ear pieces.

Miss Dickinson got there first, saying everything Annabelle would have if she'd been closer to Chelsea, and getting stunned blinks in return.

“Definitely seems sexy to me, and you always love men in suits.” Annabelle added when it seemed like Chelsea needed one extra push to rejoin the challenge.

/\/\

That had been a small scene to Annabelle, easily overwhelmed by knocking out Verity and knowing they'd scammed her father out of the money to save the school . Hell, she'd expected the school to return to each group staying within their own groups and Chelsea basically ignoring her. There had been a moment after the night of makeovers where Peaches decided her new look, although not the one the Posh Totties gave her, did look most like their own, but Annabelle's desire for slow soft relationships rather than the teasing, playful and immensely lustful ones the Posh Totties tended to have kept her from really integrating with them.

“You find intelligence sexy but pay more attention to me in class than any of the geeks.” Chelsea stated, startling Annabelle when she was walking the grounds, double checking no first years had been left tied up or dragged out recently.

She turned, smirking slightly, “You are intelligent. Just not the kind most people look for.” She stated, “Just like nobody would have thought I'd ben a good St Trinian or great shot in hockey with how I looked a few months back.”

“How long have you been watching me then?” The question wasn't surprising, only how quickly it was asked.

Annabelle shrugged, “I've been curious for a while. Definitely since you got annoyed about believable lies in Chaucer though. That's not something most people would question in fiction, assuming it's just reasonable in the story being written, but you did.”

“And I wonder who you are behind the Fritton name and mix of mousey and snobbish you keep reverting to.” Chelsea carried on to say, nodding at her comment.

“You can join me on my walk and see what you find out?” The offer was easily given, and Chelsea's laugh made it clear it was also understood.

Annabelle was certain already that she'd never get Chelsea to give up the chatline, or her methods of gaining favour and information, but honestly, that wasn't what she wanted. She just wanted the quiet knowledge and focus that was now directed at her.

[detransdamnation]

I can feel certain family members trying to get closer to me as of late. It makes me feel all sorts of different emotions—annoyed, sad, weirdly repulsed, overall uncomfortable—and recently, I've realized those emotions are surfacing because they did this same exact thing in the years leading up to my transition.

I was "wrong"—looked wrong, acted wrong—and they were one of the main drivers in ensuring that that was corrected. They used to take me out every weekend, sometimes even during the week, and they'd leave my siblings—who were otherwise their apparent favourites—at home. They used to tell me they just wanted to spend more time with "us" and I never questioned why "us" only included me. I was just so happy to be wanted, to feel special. I was special. I was loved. I do believe they love me.

But they've also always wanted to change me. I remember, still in clear detail, how these "special" outings felt more like sermons. I would sit in the backseat as they talked to me about prayers and higher powers. They would always take me to the mall to get new clothes and toys—I never had enough of either, no matter how often I insisted their gifts couldn't even fit in my closet anymore—and it was in those stores where they'd try to gently nudge me towards the more conforming choices until I eventually conceded and let them waste their money. It was just a back-to-school thing, just for the holidays, just a treat. It was always something. There was always a reason.

And then they'd talk to me about relationships over our meals. Not the "So do you have a boy/girlfriend?" thing that family members love to pull for some reason. They'd talk to me about my body. Other peoples' bodies. We rarely had privacy in these conversations. We had them—or rather, they talked and I listened—all out in public, oftentimes less than twelve steps away from other patrons in these casual sit-downs. There have been few times in my life where I have been so embarrassed. Aren't they aware that people can hear us? Maybe they are truly that dense.

Or maybe other people hearing was the point. They wanted me to find someone. Of the opposite sex, specifically. The thought, I couldn't stomach it. I think they picked up on that. Why else would they focus on it? Why else would that be the climax to all of this lead-up, every single time?

The whole thing became almost ritualistic. Something I grew to hate, never looked forward to, yet I was always persuaded to go back for some reason or another. Of course, the underlying reason was that no one else ever did these things for me and they knew this. I was so disconnected from the outside world, I would grasp onto any chance I could to get in touch with it. They took advantage of that. Whether knowingly or unknowingly, maliciously or genuinely, they took advantage of that.

They stopped when I told them I was transitioning.

The fact they're suddenly interested in these outings again, coincidentally right around the time I officially stop caring about keeping up with this lie that I'm actually the opposite sex... well, that's a strange coincidence if I've ever seen one. I think it holds a candle to just how much they fixate on me, even all these years later. The darkness surrounding that flame is especially so when I consider how little I think about them in turn. I don't even say that to be snarky or rude. It just simply doesn't occur to me, to think about these people when they're not directly in front of me. Maybe that's just because I'm so much younger than them.

Or maybe it's because, in an effort to block out all of the pain they caused me in my younger years, I realized I had to block them out as well.

One of the main reasons I went on to transition, they are. Suddenly, the animosity I have felt towards them all these years makes sense.

[murder-and-toast]

TW: mention of child experimentation, mention of organ replacement, mention of murder, mention of human trafficking, medical/experiment whump, suicidal idolation, self-harm, corrupt government

'I love you' was never a phrase Betzalel ever really liked. It would always bring him back to the days when he was locked away, with his 'Aunt' trying to make him the perfect weapon. He cared for people since that's human nature, but never anything more that he could describe. He'd only use the words to manipulate the people the government needed him to help capture or dispose of.

Betzalel was laying in bed next to Yves, considering waking him up, but instead he just stared at the ceiling thinking. Then a thought crossed his mind, "Where is Aunt now, Is she still doing her past work? Is she trying to track me down since she worked so hard to make me perfect??"

Those thoughts came and went so often, Betzalel knew she knew he was still alive because of the number of news channels that reported on the mass killings he was ordered to do by the government.

Betzalel slowly slips out of the bed, trying not to wake Yves, he grabs his military coat and a pack of fresh cigarettes. He then unlocks the room door and looks back for a moment before opening the door and walking out to go smoke.

Betzalel always hated cigarettes, but the nicotine helped to distract him from the crimes he had to commit. And he has hoped that they could shorten his long lifespan. He never wanted the power he had gotten but he also never wanted the 1000 year lifespan of the god-like creature he was stuck with. Betzalel never wanted to kill himself, he had just hoped that the people the government wanted would succeed at doing it. But the creature always made a shield to stop those hopes.

Betzalel opened the pack and pulled one out along with the lighter in his coat pocket, he then lit the cigarette and put it in his mouth while staring off into the woods around the building. And stuffed the lighter and now open pack of cigarettes in his pocket.

After a few minutes he rolled up the sleeves of both his coat and his pajamas. Revealing layers of bandages on both arms. He then began to undo them, underneath was just a bunch of dark scarring from how much he had used the power of the creature.

Betzalel hated not being in control so to use the power to its max ability he would have to cause himself damage in the process. Though if he had the choice he just wouldn't use the power at all since it was draining and always ended with him throwing up and unable to do much after. At least the regeneration worked fast otherwise he'd still be bleeding out.

The government wanted to make sure that every person they bought would've been worth their money so they'd use everything the person could do. Betzalel only had one knife unlike a lot of his coworkers who had collections of knives and guns. But it was to make sure Betzalel was gonna actually use the reason the government had picked him.

Betzalel knew though that he was closer to being sold off than most of the others here, he was disobedient and questioned orders, unlike when they had first purchased him.

He knew Yves was gonna be forced to stay in the government since he was useful and listened to orders. He never wanted to leave Yves as he was the reason Betzalel was even able to get out of being tested on, but he knew he'd have to suck it up sooner or later.

He took the cigarette from his mouth and signed hard. He then ran his right hand through his bangs and pinned them behind his ear. His right eye wasn't his, it hadn't been since he was 4, his 'Aunt' wanted to test the limits of what she could do, removed a few organs and stuff and replaced them from that of the corpse of the creature.

Betzalel thought the replacement for his actual eye was quite pretty, you could see a galaxy of colors and glitter within it. But he hated how he couldn't see out of it and how it could randomly start to bleed. He knew he was more of a corpse than a person at that point, but there wasn't anything he could do to stop it. All he could do was hope that things get better within the next at most 1980 years of his life,

"Living until the year 4000 would be so terrible--" he laughed to himself as the door opened and Yves came out, "oh, you're up, almost ready to go get some work done?"

"Ya"

[whetstonefires]

So the thing is that expanding through war is the basic model of all empires ever, and Rome was fantastically good at it and made it absurdly sustainable specifically by way of being so invested in making war well that they ploughed resources back into their armed forces at a massive clip as they went, maintaining a forward momentum that fed itself for centuries.

For example: they could expand the way they did in the imperial period because you could become Roman by joining the Roman army. They were able to keep this a financially as well as socially rewarding offer by seizing land in conquered regions and paying retirement off in lump sums in farmland, generally in the province where you served rather than the one in which you were from.

Obviously that is a pyramid scheme that has to run out sometime, but they did not ever actually hit that wall.

Arguably a factor was that they ('they' here being a very small number of old guys in actual Rome) flinched because they knew that was coming, but if so that was one factor among many. They had not actually run out of people they could beat yet, even though it was getting harder.

They'd run out of motive to keep bothering, and therefore changed a lot of the policies that had made them so weirdly unstoppable for so long. Which created over time vulnerabilities that existing institutions could not cope with, because they were designed to work in the old system.

Hence the 'peace breeds weak men' meme. It's not accurate, but (rather like Ibn Battuta's better historiography) it's a reflection of the real data that expansionist powers if not otherwise brought low tend to stop expanding at some point because they don't see why they should keep fighting a forever war at the borders when all the heartland has known for so long is peace, which is a pleasant and profitable status, but then it turns out that the military system was load-bearing for some aspect of the civil infrastructure or national identity or something, and this has harmful knock-on effects on the ability of their institutions to stand up to and rally from challenges to their stability.

So while it's obviously true that eventually you have to stop and if you have built yourself into a shark that means you die, Rome isn't the best case study for it, really. Because they did in fact stop before they 'had' to.

Normal empires collapse for the reasons outlined above all the time. Rome did not, really; Rome was a freak. I don't think you can really blame their civil wars on overexpansion, because 1) they had civil wars basically always the whole time, for fundamentally domestic reasons 2) when the western Roman empire fell, it had more or less nothing to do with any of its regions wanting out. The provinces were loyal; their empire left them.

I would struggle to overstate how abnormal and freakish this is. The fifteen hundred year cultural echo of this bizarre epoch is not wholly without cause.

Rome wasn't even a kindly overlord or anything! They were brutal as fuck whenever it was convenient or seemed at all called-for, and did not have any particular high principles about graciousness in victory or anything. They were just in it 1) to win it and 2) for the money, and the result was a powerhouse.

Anyway. I don't think this new meme version is very good either. I like the assertions better, and it's about twice as well grounded in history, but ultimately I still feel like this is grinding an entirely modern axe with only a very passing engagement with the putative subject matter, which is admittedly what most of 'talking about history' has been about since always.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

So I am sitting here and having thoughts about how budgeting time/energy with a disability is a lot like budgeting money on welfare or a minimum wage part time job.

I'll preface this by saying: I have always had a kind of issue where I'm way more self-aware about really mundane things than anyone is willing to believe of someone who looks like a young woman and sounds like a 5 year old girl. And I am... off baseline, a little weird, my flags are beige and shrimp coloured. So when I assert that something is true about myself or my life, I get a lot of push back that's like "oh sweaty, everyone does that tho, which means you too." or "No one is really actually self aware about that kind of thing." or "You must not actually be doing things as strictly as you -think- you are." Right? And we'll get into an example here in a minute...

But I also like self-experimentation. You learn a lot testing things out for yourself. I'm never afraid to put my money where my mouth is and actually try something, even if I know it won't work, so I can document exactly how and why it's failing. I'd say I am open to surprised, but... and don't hate me for this... I am never generally surprised.

So back when I was working my first job, my second job, and later on welfare while disability faffed around... I'd get a lot of people trying to give me "budgeting advice" and I would be like "Actually, my money is going where it has to go, and 'budgeting' won't change anything"... and they'd give me one of those "Oh sweaty..." replies and shake their heads to themselves about me being self-destructively deluded.

So for years I kept a notebook of all the money I had coming in, and everything I spent it on, and how much went to savings. And every month I would get money, pay my rent, buy some food, pay for really basic necessities like soap or shampoo, very cheap and occasional makeup when I wore any [that I would use till it was gone regardless of expiry dates]... Any clothing I actually needed for work or practical reasons, and very occasional other misc things like crafting supplies or whatever, the bus if I needed it... And every month I would come in WAY under what they told me I should be spending, and the rest went to savings.

Because the amount they lay out for every person to spend on things like transportation, eating out, entertainment, makeup and that sort of thing is just money I was never spending. Even when I got comfortable buying books, media and art supplies, I was just never going to spend as much on that as most people my age were going to spend on makeup, clothes, fancy products, switching out their home decor, impulse shopping, taxis, fast food, movies, etc and so on.

So all the advice that when you keep a budget you see where you are spending money that you just don't have to and can cut back to have the things you really value... Didn't apply to me. Just as I was originally asserting, and yet until I had bank statements, I kept a monthly record of spending for just utter ages to prove that point on paper if anyone ever asked about it, because they did, because I was poor.

If anything, keeping track of things like that made me occasionally spend more, because I could see how "good" I just naturally was with money and how much it was defying expectations. Through my 20's I spent way more on art supplies than I otherwise would have because it was my only expense and around disabilities I had some free time on my hands.

But now, without a credit card for shopping online, even before the plague that was all of my extraneous spending. I have thrifted my clothes locally for my whole life 80% of the time or more because I just do not have a construct in my head about "new" clothes having more value or meaning anything. I disinfect my makeup with 70-90% alcohol and apply it using methods that avoid contaminating the container, so until the formula breaks down from age...? Also I stopped wearing makeup for gender reasons. I can't eat out at all anymore due to plague and food allergy reasons. I have never really enjoyed going to theaters that was something I did to have a social life. I have never gone to a club [a strip club once], I have been to a bar like 3 times [I grew up in one, my mom was a bar tender, waitress, and occasional bouncer her whole career].

And usually, when I want something nice, its cheaper and more engaging to make it for myself. I'm picky, I get to have what I want that way.

So in a post plaguapocalypse world, with no credit card to my name and none I can use for shopping online, where I can't even go out for coffee without it being added risk I don't need? I'm right back to spending like I did when my budget was 200$. I buy food, I buy little treats, I buy stuff I need at the hardware store when I need it, I buy soaps or whatever, no makeup, no new clothes I have clothes already, no going out, I walk everywhere due to plague reasons...

My bank statement looks like, 28th-ish onward: Get Chob, Get pension, Get tax money, pay rent, pay phone bill, pay internet bill, buy groceries, put rest in savings.

Every 3-4 ish months there's the added items of: Get more tax money, get random supplies at Walmart and the dollar store or hardware store, buy 100$ of alcohol mostly for mouth sanitizing.

Once a year: Top up account I use for buying things online from people who take paypal not backed by credit [currently buying games when they go on dirt cheap on steam], maybe buy a birthday present for myself?? Or seasonal treats? In the fall I do groceries for all winter, but then all winter I put everything into savings after my bills are paid.

I also don't buy gifts -or supplies to make gifts- for other people anymore because I have no friends and stopped talking to my mom :/

And most pre-prepared foods even from the grocery store have stuff in them I can't have due to MCS or allergies. Or they have too much iodine or whatever.

So my worker thought I might be doing a fraud when I started asking about what kinds of savings I am allowed to have, because we are in an economic crisis and the amount you get on a disability pension should not, by any means, be enough for a basic quality of life, let alone to save up, and my rent is 1000$... I asked about having an RDSP vs an LDSP and because I was able to save money at all she started grilling me about whether I had a job I wasn't reporting or other income and then insisted that in order to answer my general questions at all she needed a year of all my bank statement so she could "see what I was talking about"... When the question was whether an RDSP was exempt from the asset limit [it's not, apparently] and whether I had to claim the interest on my savings account as income [you don't]. Answering these questions did NOT -in fact- require bank statements, but I am starting to see why no one wants to ask questions.

I mean, think about that for a second, we are being given so little compared to the cost of living that our workers think it should be entirely impossible to save up any money at all, or to financially plan for the future, without doing fraud. Even asking questions gets you audited. But that's slightly off-topic.

And it isn't something I am doing because I think I don't deserve nice things, or out of some sense of moral obligation... I just don't -enjoy- going out, and have little interest in the clothes and makeup or fancy products that are available. I am easily overstimulated and smells bother me and I like to sit alone at home and build something, or create something digital or do a little craft, have some damn crops in the ground somewhere that I have the outdoor space to tend to preferably so I can eat fresh veggies.

And I resist spending any money I saved up on things like fancy furniture because I am trying to have enough to live in a house... But I could probably stand to start replacing my furniture [Now is the worst time to do it though so I think I will wait till the cost of real wood comes down]... I'm just easily satisfied and particular, peculiar, and not very social and I 0% buy into constructs that would compel me to feel like I "need" makeup, or clothes or body products etc... Also I am not trying to attract anyone, and advertisements don't really work on me. My autistic gay swag insulates me from spending money.

And I had a perfectly good sense of this when I was a teen, and then later when I was in my 20s. I heard the way other people talked about spending money and things they "needed" and I knew that wasn't me.

And as far as money on crafting supplies goes... Everyone needs a hobby and that is part of a basic quality of life. It's cheaper than going out. I don't take vacations or have a car, etc... I don't date.

And if you were ever at my side while I bought some new clothes or spent on something I didn't have to or that you couldn't understand the necessity in, there is a very good chance it's because spending money/shopping is a 'social activity', I had wanted/needed those things for a while anyway, or I had a craft in mind for them, and I did that with you there instead of spending money "going out", and I never actually spend that way when I am alone, you just happened to take me physically to a place to buy things that I don't normally bother going to on my own. I have -had, anyway- a very limited social circle and wasn't going back there with anyone else either.

So you might ask "why don't you have mad savings then!" Well, 1. I keep being forced to move by circumstances, 2. I keep having to pick up the slack in various ways and with various supplies for roommates, or having to support someone other than myself, 3. I keep picking up the slack on bills for roommates and family members, 4. having your life turned upside down by bad relationships and bad roomies on a constant basis is generally expensive, 5. The cost of living is utterly balls to the wall out of line and I am on a pension, 6. Not for nothing, but there are things you buy when disabled that you wouldn't otherwise need to get or maintain, like canes, carts, shower chairs, etc... and 7. I do, actually, once again, have quite decent savings, despite it all.

And I want to stipulate again, I do not think it is HUMANE to expect other people to be like this, no matter how poor or disabled, if this is not their natural inclination.

So, I'll say again: The money is going where it needs to go, and nowhere else, and budgeting does nothing, for me personally, because there isn't anything that I could possibly make myself more self-aware about.

Maybe that's different for 99.9% of people! I encourage other people to not only have a budget, but keep track of what they -actually- spent on! It's good practice! I did it for years! The worst you find out is that you don't need it! Or that you did IG...

But the thing is, when you have a very limited resource, and set things it HAS to go towards with no exception, and either no room in the budget for anything else, or no interest in anything else... The resource goes where it needs to go and that's it. Writing it out on paper changes nothing.

That's true of the poor who spend all their money on food and bills.

That's true of the disabled who spend all their time and energy on just maintaining their environment and whatever limited hobbies they need to stay sane [or at least functional].

The only time a planner or bullet journal help me is when I have enough energy/constitution to be doing more than the bare minimum of maintenance and cleaning, or when I at least don't have to spend all my extra energy on extra organizing because of another move.

And that's the hard truth of time management for some disabled people, even those of us who also happen to have adhd or autism... Basically, what needs to get done is going to get done and nothing else, and writing it down doesn't necessarily change anything.

Some of use will benefit from "time budgeting" some of us just won't. I encourage you to experiment with time management methods because if you find something that does help you, it tends to unburden your whole life a little... I benefit from a really scratchy bullet journal when I actually have some energy and good health to spread around.

But I find that a lot of able bodied people, and even otherwise abled ahdhers or autistics have it in their heads that disabled people -or otherwise disabled people- lack time and energy in a day because they aren't being aware enough of how they are spending it, or aren't managing the symptoms of adhd+ as well as they could be, like it's 'just' unmanaged time-blindness or something... And they just straight up overlook that management isn't always the issue, a lack of energy or physical health sometimes is, and that -yes- some people are perfectly self-aware about how their time and energy is being spent, even with adhd.

Sometimes when you stack physical disabilities on top of neurodivergence, it renders some neurological symptoms 100% beside the point. If depression is making me feel tired and not like cleaning sometimes, it doesn't really matter if I am gauging whether I clean by how physically hard it is to move my limbs without pain, and gratefully rushing to clean my house whenever I can without it feeling like I am damaging my own body by doing it, for example.

This also goes for this weird new brand of aggression I keep seeing where some ADHDers seem to think that people in my position are talking about time management or "time blindness" issues like it's 'some unique thing that only we personally experience' "oh silly you" when actually we are describing how our OTHER DISABILITIES -do- Uniquely pile on top of time-blindness or actively make time blindness irrelevant. Me not being aware of how long it takes to shower and get ready genuinely doesn't impact anything or fucking matter, when it takes me 2-12 TIMES longer than everyone else to do those things, randomly, by no predictable pattern or schedule, because of my other disabilities. Not being aware of how long it "should" take to walk somewhere doesn't ever matter when it genuinely DOES take you up to 2 hours to walk there. You have to set that 2 hours aside for it regardless of whatever effort you could theoretically put into timing yourself or constructing better "time awareness". I might have time blindness but I also have "genuinely takes me 12 times longer to do everything" disorder [chronic fatigue, and 7 or more other physical disabilities].

I don't think I am uniquely experiencing time blindness, I think you are overlooking how it impacts someone's planning when an appointment and recovering from it GENUINELY DOES take up the whole day, even when that is the only thing they are doing and they are being perfectly efficient about it.

The thing is, keep track of it on paper or not, I am going to get through what I get through and the rest just isn't getting done yet. Budgeting the time I have in a day is a lot like budgeting for having 200$ left after bills. I shouldn't -have- to show my work on paper endlessly for anyone to believe me, or believe I know myself and my own life.

Sometimes operating at 100% efficiency and inhuman effectiveness with disability or poverty looks like you are only half-assing everything.

[girltomboy]

Yesterday I wrote a long ass post that ended up getting blown into dust by tumblr, so I just gave up on ranting (I'd already typed out the whole thing anyway so at least *some* work had been done on processing what had happened) but during yesterday's "Easter lunch" (we don't even celebrate Easter, but we do like to make the traditional food anyway, and it seems we're also adopting the traditional Easter fights) my grandma went off on me about the way I dress (again, still, etc. except this time I'm almost 27, you'd think this topic would ever get old or stale or my family would get tired of fighting over it so much for so long for nothing, and yet it never fucking stops). I was thinking how to tell her that I'm seeing my friends today, it was like something was holding me back. The vibes were just slightly off, but it was an absurd feeling because it's such a mundane and normal thing. So I absent-mindedly mentioned it, and she replied: "what are you going to wear? It better not be those pants you came in" (she hates those pants because they're baggy - like 80% of my pants 🤡 I actually had a feeling she would comment on them when I packed them, but I didn't think they'd be SUCH a big deal, they're some of my normal pants). Those pants are dirty anyway, so I wouldn't have worn them. I told her they're not the only pants I brought with me, I have other pairs. And she immediately said: "NO, not pants. I bet they're also ugly anyway. We'll look for a nice dress in your closet." I said:"There's no need for that, I don't like wearing dresses." It was not a fancy dinner reunion, just a casual day out with some old friends. And she should know by now that I'm not a lover of dresses, except for the beach and a special occasion once in a blue moon, I would never choose to wear a dress. I've never kept this a secret, everyone who knows anything about me is aware of my preference and respects it (they have no choice anyway).

That's what set her off, I don't know what she expected to hear honestly, but she started shouting about my stylistic choices and about the fact that when I come visit her she expects me to wear my best and fanciest clothes "for the neighbors", otherwise I shouldn't even bother coming. And made it clear that the neighbors' opinions and impressions are much more important to her than what I want, feel good in, like, etc. It's not like I go outside in my pyjamas or in trash bags, I just wear normal casual clothes, but she wants me to dress like a news anchor basically. She also said that she's sure the reason why I don't own any nice fancy clothes is because I'm broke from always sending my boyfriend money?? Lol that is 100% a lie that my mom fabricated a looooooong time ago, I'm surprised that it's still holding up, but why wouldn't it? After all, they created it and planted it in their own minds and universes. Of course nothing can shake something that is unaffected by the actual truth, since it doesn't happen in real life. Aside from that, she also revealed some other lies about my boyfriend that are circulating in my mom's and her heads: he's stringing me along, doesn't have "serious plans with me" since he "hasn't married me yet". I was like? ON GOD? 🤭 Aww it's so cute how you get so riled up because you want him to marry me sooo badddd! But have you asked yourself whether or not we Want that? Did you ask ME?? What I want? Do you know anything about what I want, what we talked about? No, they never ask me anything and just survive off of the lies they make up on their own. I told her outright "I don't want that!" (on marriage), but I'm 100% sure that she (and mom too) will think it's because I don't want to marry my boyfriend, not that I don't want to get married to anyone ever. They would know it if only they would simply ask. But they dgaf about what my relationship is actually like irl, only what they invent about it, without any connection to reality, truly matters.

So yesterday I was not in the mood to keep the peace, smile and nod, for the sake of avoiding an argument, because the fight started out about clothes, and escalated into yet another attack on my relationship/my partner. And I'm completely over that, plus she kept adding more and more fuel to the fire by telling me Satan is influencing me to upset her in this way, as a result of me rejecting god (it's a good thing she figured that one out on her own, without me having to open that box of worms), that my way of thinking (which is... idk... wanting to live my life how I want and mind my own business. I guess) will make my family abandon me, which idk fucked up if true, but that threat is absolutely not making me want to fight for the love and respect of a family that is ready to cut me off as soon as I stray from the mold they created for me in their head. And of course everyone including my bf is out to GET me and hurt me except for - you guessed it - the family dangling their imminent abandonment in front of my face. Pretty hilarious but I wasn't intimidated by these words because I've heard them before and they are meaningless to me. And ofc she made it clear she "doesn't know" why I even came to visit her. Which, in the moment, I sure was struggling to remember as well, ngl. AND she said she is sure I must have joined some kind of cult or sect that "is unlike everyone else" which, if you think about the context in which I grew up and the church I was birthed and raised into, is IRONIC as fuck - how can you even think I'd join a cult like that (I'm not religious anymore btw, thanks very much) if I JUST escaped one? Girl, YOU ARE in that cult!! You are describing the sect YOU are part of, and that you want ME to stay in! Why would I chase another one like lmaoooo you think your sect is sooo normal and "like everyone else" when it paints anything and anyone outside it as the enemy and fabricates its own oppression.

So for the rest of the afternoon we didnt speak to each other after the meal, she didn't even leave her room or take any phone calls from various relatives and friends who called her, including my mom. Then in the evening I took a shower, and when I got out she playfully asked me to come to dinner. So I did, and she never mentioned the fight or any of the other topics, neither did I, and even when my mom called her and she answered during dinner she didn't say anything to her, and we all pretended like nothing happened. 😋 That's what we're best at. I'm glad that never sat right with me and I don't implement this tactic in MY interpersonal relationships. But today I was supposed to meet my friends before noon, so I went to have some breakfast. And after I was done I told grandma I was about to leave soon, just so she knows. As I was going back to my room I heard her shout: "Careful how you dress!! If you don't have any money for a taxi I'll give you some, just so the neighbors don't see you!" I was like... Now you'll just make me dress shitty out of spite. In hindsight this talent of saying something completely fucked up then carrying on as if nothing happened, that seems to run in the family because both my grandma and my mom seem to have it, is pretty amazing. Like the creativity and wit are quite rare. But I said nothing and got ready, and when I left I didn't announce it or anything, I simply left.

Story doesn't end here... While I was out I got a harrowing text from my mom telling me "don't bring ur boyfriend home if he's in town... Grandma told me you left without saying and she's sure he came to the city". I burst out laughing, but I haven't replied yet. I don't even know where to begin. I don't even know what to address first. I'm simply amazed at the world building skills that both of them possess. I don't understand why they fear neighbors' gossip so much if they are capable of so much worse on their own. Who even needs enemies talking shit about them behind their back and making up untrue stories and scenarios with a family THIS skilled and hateful? My biggest haters would not be able to come up with shit like this. The assumption that my boyfriend would come all the way to my hometown just to be left stranded in the city, meeting me out on the low like some secret agent, the assumption that I would willingly introduce him into this fucked up and bitter family... Why are you surprised that I would leave without announcing (not even a big deal, I'd already told her I was about to get ready and go) when not 24 hours earlier you made a whole scene and told me to basically never show up here again because you didn't like the pants I wore once. And you constantly and continuously throw tantrums about the way I dress because it doesn't fit YOUR particular taste & style. Why would you not put 2 and 2 together instead of fabricating yet ANOTHER lie to get mad at, and to force me to defend and justify myself against something YOU pulled out of your ass? I'm constantly amazed at the hatred my family is capable of and how easy they are able to weaken our relationship and ruin my trust & perception of them.

[kay-claire]

I have hyperhidrosis, which basically means I sweat A LOT for no reason, and like it IS a disability but if I told people it was a disability they'd probably ridicule me and say "sweating can't effect your life that badly", and like whatever I'm not going to argue with people about what does and doesn't count as a disability. But I usually just tell people I have hyperhidrosis if my hands are noticeably sweating a lot - because, like, they're gonna notice it and comment on it anyway, I might as well say it first. And I cannot emphasis how often the first thing people will say when I mention it is "Oh! My aunt's friend's cousin had that! She got botox injections in her armpits to stop it, have you tried that???"

And it's like... 1) Botox is VERY expensive. 2) I sweat from EVERYWHERE on my body, not just my armpits, so getting injections for like my armpits, knees, feet, hands, lower back, upper lip, etc is impossible. 3) in fact you can't actually get botox injections for your feet, no reliable doctor will perform that for you. 4) You have to get it done every 6 months at the longest, and for hands it can wear off after only 1 month. and 5) if you get botox to prevent sweat in one area of your body often times you will just sweat more from another place. So your aunt's friend's cousin might not sweat as much from her armpits anymore, but she's probably experiencing lower back sweat and finding that more manageable for her. Again, I sweat from every area of my body, so stopping it in one area and just sweating more from another sounds like a complete waste of money to me.

Like, basically the "have you tried botox?" is my sweaty version of chronic pain's "have you tried yoga?"

And then some people HAVE asked "Oh that sounds rough, how's that change your day to day?" kind of question before, and it always catches me off guard. Like how am I suppose to answer that? "oh, you know, I avoid shaking hands because people (cis straight men, mostly) have shook my hand in the past and then called me disgusting right after and wiped their hand on their jeans and pulled a disgusted face at me. Oh, and I basically carry a face cloth with me everywhere to rub my hands on because if I rub my hands on my pants the spot gets damp and then I get super cold - and also people probably think I've wet myself. I can't draw without using a facecloth under my hand, and I sometimes find it completely impossible to use a touch screen because there's a drop of sweat on the screen that's completely confused the sensors. Oh, and it's really difficult to get finger prints so getting government documents done is always a complete nightmare, AND I could never have a job or live in an apartment where you need to use your fingerprint to get into a building - I tried working as a waiter in high school and had to quit the first day because I couldn't get into the computer database to put orders in. And my hands and feet are ALWAYS freezing cold because the sweat gets cold. And people love making fun of me for wearing socks all the time, but I kind of have to live in socks because otherwise my feet would be absolutely freezing, and everything would stick to my feet so I'd have to wash them frequently, and if I try to sleep without socks on the lower half of the bed gets completely drenched in sweat and then the bed sheets stick to my legs and its SO cold and uncomfortable. And I also have to consider what kind of fabric the clothes I buy are made of, because will they show sweat easily? Will they make me sweat more? Also all the shirts I own that are over a year old have terribly sweat and deodorant stains in the armpits. But luckily because I sweat SO much, my sweat doesn't really have a smell unless I've been doing actual exercise of I'm sick, but my day-to-day sweat is kind of just like sweating water most of the time. Which also means I have to keep a water bottle on me at all times to keep my fluids up."

Like I generally am not going to say all that to a person??? so I'll just respond with a "Oh, you know, it doesn't effect me too much. I've found ways to work around it." and that's that.

if upon being told about someones illness/condition, your first thought is to say “have you tried X?” i want you to step back for a moment and think to yourself “if i thought of X after hearing about this condition for the very first time, the person who has this condition very likely has thought of this and possibly tried it already”

we are tired of constantly being told to try the same things by people who didnt know our condition existed five minutes ago.

you dont need to offer any solutions or try to fix us. i know it might seem like a polite thing to do or that it shows you care, there are other ways to show us you care.

[utilitycaster]

Re: fandom and creators, that's one of the reasons why I'm so glad CR is pre-recording now. It put some much needed boundaries between the cast and the fandom. Same with 4SD, while I loved Talks, I do think it became a way for the fandom to validate their opinions or ships and fight anyone who said otherwise.

I joined the fandom a few weeks before lockdown so I'm not sure how it was before, but it's been fascinating to see how older audiences react to said boundaries, calling CR "over produced" or "less authentic" or "too corporate" or whatever.

tbh I'm not sure how pre-recording helps with boundaries between the cast and fandom. Don't get me wrong, I think it's good and honestly I wouldn't have been surprised if they'd eventually moved in that direction, but it's also allowed the cast in some ways to be more involved in spaces like chat.

I also don't think 4SD will be much different than Talks; people will read into the smallest things or even the absence of discussion for their ships (and have already) and for that matter there was already a long history of cherrypicking what was said on Talks. A certain number of people are going to come up with arguments that the cast supports their interpretation regardless of what happens on or offscreen. I'll loudly point it out when it happens, but I don't think anything can stop it altogether. So I think it's good that the cast no longer feels obligated to hear those questions but I think having an aftershow helps more than it hurts because reasonable people will listen to what's being said there about intent and there's no dealing with unreasonable people either way.

For what it's worth I also think it's quite different if a creator solicits questions. It's fine to ask an author at an "ask the author" event because that's what it's there for; the problem is when people ask questions on Twitter when the author is just hanging out and talking about their dog or something. It's also very different to ask a question like "hey, if you don't mind, what was going on with this thread that didn't get followed?" (ie, neutral, inquisitive, polite, gives them room to ignore the question) vs. "so does this [thing that happened] mean [my personal theory is validated]?" (leading, puts them in the awkward position of being like actually no you're wrong).

It is very true about the reaction to the stronger boundaries. It isn't unique to Critical Role; anything that started with a dedicated but small audience and became more popular has this. It's always a little baffling to me because like...even if the local indie band was playing in a co-op basement back in the day, they were doing it for money. Even if the podcasters hang out at a local bar after the show and you can chat with them and buy them a beer, you did pay for the show. But in general, yeah, I think if there's pushback against someone putting up boundaries it's a sign the boundaries were desperately needed; and most people complaining about still independent production companies becoming "too corporate" are people who want to personally benefit from art without the artist also benefiting, and it's that simple.

[cellsshapedlikestars]

Potentially one shot prompts

Secret romance with the bosses daughter

The Starks conspire to have Jon and Sansa share a room/bed

Jon gets a concussion and forgets he’s married to Sansa but hey this redheaded trauma nurse seems super sexy and amazing

Stark siblings hate JonSa and conspire to break them up but it backfired bc duh

Sansa works with rhaegar who keeps trying to set me up with his son Jaehyrs but she’s super uninterested cuz she has a crush on Jon

Hello, dear anon, I've been sitting on these prompts for a while now? I can't remember how long, but long enough I think. I read them again this morning while answering some other asks and an idea popped into my head.

Be warned, I wrote this all in one go in a very short amount of time, so ignore... you know, just any issues. Spelling, grammar, plot, characterization...

The prompt I have chosen for this is: Sansa works with Rhaegar, who keeps trying to set her up with his son Jaehaerys, but she's not interested because she has a crush on Jon.

..

..

There are a lot of pros to Sansa's job.

She loves the work, it pays better than she had expected to get straight out of college, and she really likes all her coworkers so far. She'd been a bit hesitant in joining such a large company, so sure that the atmosphere would be toxic and her boss cartoonishly evil. But Rhaeger Targaryen is no Miranda Priestly. Mostly Rhaegar just tells really bad jokes that she at first tried to laugh at, until she realized no one else did and so she stopped trying. Rhaeger didn't seem to notice (or care?), continuing to tell them and laughing at them himself. He's a little out of touch with reality, being – you know – a billionaire CEO, but otherwise he's not too bad.

Except that he keeps trying to set her up with his son.

I really think you and Jaehaerys would hit it off.

Sansa had politely declined.

She's never met Jaehaerys, but she has met Aegon, and no thank you. Aegon is.... well, again, he could be worse for a billionaire's son, but she would never be able to date him. First and foremost, he winks at her every time he leaves his dad's office. Her little desk isn't too far from Rhaegar's office and she gets that wink every single time. Second, he doesn't do anything. Sure, he has some generic title at the company, but she has never actually seen him do work. Occasionally he shows up at meetings, she guesses to fill some sort of quota, and spends the entire time on his phone, not paying attention and eating all the donuts. Sansa's family has money, but they've always stressed the importance of work.

So the fact that she has never once seen Jaehaerys does not bode well. She knows Rhaegar's other son (from a different woman, the scandal) works for the company, too, but she has never, not once, even caught a glimpse of him. He must be even lazier than Aegon.

(Rhaenys, however, is no slouch. Neither is Dany. Dany sort of terrifies her, actually. She could definitely qualify as a Miranda Priestly.)

Sansa might be scared of Dany, but Dany is actually the reason Sansa has a job here. She'd been hired on as a temp to help update the company's social media, and they'd liked her work so much, she'd been hired on full time as part of their new social media and marketing team. She's helping to drag Targaryen Inc out of the stone age, according to Dany. She's in charge of their Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram presence and so far, she thinks she's really killing it. At least, no one has told her that she's not.

The door to Rhaegar's office opens and she looks up and her heart does that annoying little flutter when she sees him. He has to walk by her desk – everyone who comes to see Rhaegar does – and when he catches her looking, he gives her that same little half smile he always does.

“Hey Jon,” she calls when he gets close enough. “The boss having computer problems again?”

“Isn't he always?” Jon jokes and Sansa laughs maybe a bit too loud. Curse this dumb little schoolgirl crush she has on Jon the IT guy. It had started her first day here, when she'd needed help setting up her computer and accounts and logins. She'd tried doing it over the phone, but eventually Jon had sighed and said he'd just come up and help her in person. She's been a goner ever since.

He heads out towards the elevator and she tries not to stare at his ass on the way. Those jeans should be illegal, she thinks. They have to be against some sort of company dress code.

She almost squeals when a spray of water hits her.

“Down girl,” Myranda says, pointing her water spritzer in Sansa's direction – a threat.

“Stop doing that!” Sansa hisses, wiping droplets of water off her face. “I'm not one of your plants.”

Myranda likes to keep her little desk jungle property hydrated, and Sansa hears that spray bottle going at least twice a day. More, if Jon walks by – then the spray bottle is turned on her.

“You know, it's been a while since you've had computer trouble,” Myranda turns back to her computer and puts the bottle down.

“I don't know what you mean,” Sansa sniffs, knowing exactly what Myranda means. She will deny until her dying breath that she keeps messing things up on her computer on purpose, just to get Jon the hot IT guy up here.

Jon the hot IT guy with his tight jeans and his tight t-shirts and his glasses and that little bun that she wants to take out just to see what his hair looks like down...

“Don't make me spray you again,” Myranda sing-songs and it snaps her out of her daydreams.

Sansa does not respond to this.

…

“You really should let me set you up with Jaehaerys,” Rhaeger tells her one morning, after he had overheard her telling Mya about her absolutely disastrous date the night before.

Sansa tries very hard not to say something terrible because one – Rhaegar is her boss, two – she's already embarrassed enough that her boss overheard her complaining about her love life, and three – Rhaegar is her boss.

“That's really ok,” Sansa says diplomatically. “I wouldn't want to date someone within the company, you know what they say.”

She really is wary of dating someone she works with, though that isn't the real reason she doesn't want to date Jaehaerys.

(She would break this rule for Jon, though.)

“You two have so much in common!” Rhaegar cries, dramatic as always. “You both like that... computer stuff,” he waves his hands around, as if that indicates computer stuff.

Another point against Jaehaerys, Sansa thinks. Yes, she does social media marketing for a living, but her own personal social media is wildly different. Jaehaerys is probably one of those guys who posts nonstop shirtless selfies while drinking cocktails on some yacht. That's a hard no for her.

Maybe at one point in her life, she would've been into that sort of guy, but she's grown up and her tastes have changed. (Her problem, she knows, is that it's taken her too long to realize that her tastes have changed, and she keeps trying to date the same type of guys she dated in high school. It isn't working.)

“Think about it!” Rhaegar calls after her as she and Mya leave the break room.

…

“Here's the problem,” Jon mutters. “How did this even get deleted?”

He says it more to himself than to her, and Sansa ignores the pointed look from Myranda. “That's so weird,” she says, innocently of course. “You think I'd be better with computers, considering...”

Jon looks up at her and gives her that tentative half smile that sends her pulse fluttering. “That's alright, I don't mind getting calls from you. And hey, you saved me from having to walk Barbrey through how to send an email for the thousandth time. Sam got to take that call.” His smile turns into a full grin and she can't help but grin back at him.

“There, that's going to reinstall and then you should be good to go,” Jon stands from her chair. Sansa had been perched on the edge of her desk, watching, and she hops down and tries to smooth out her skirt.

“Thanks, again,” she says, so awkwardly that she somehow feels like she's thirteen again, trying to flirt with a cute boy in class. It doesn't help that even though he's very nice to her, he seems to hold himself at a distance, and she has come to the conclusion that he has absolutely no interest in her and finds her offputting. And then, just to really make things worse, she asks, “are you going to the Christmas party?”

“Sort of have to,” Jon shrugs and waves in the general direction of Rhaegar's office.

“Right,” she nods. She guesses that makes sense – Jon is the only IT guy she ever sees coming out of Rhaegar's office. He must be high up or something? It would make sense he'd have to go to the office Christmas party if he's the boss's go-to IT person.

When Jon is gone, she manages to dodge the spray of water that Myranda aims her way.

…

Oh, but he looks good in a suit.

Why couldn't he look terrible? Why does the universe hate her?

She'd spent so long picking out the perfect dress, but now that she's here, she's deeply regretting it. She feels ridiculous, though she knows she has no reason to. Her dress is not as scandalous as, say, Margaery's, and it's not as fancy as any of the Targaryen's. But still. Her dress sparkles in the light and she's convinced that instead of festive, she just looks like a golden disco ball.

She's a disco ball and Jon looks too good in a suit. It isn't fair.

“Just go talk to him,” Myranda nudges at her. “I swear, I cannot keep watching you make heart eyes at him. It's giving me hives.”

“Don't pressure her,” Mya argues. “I don't blame her for being cautious about getting involved with someone like that.”

Sansa's not quite sure what that means, she guesses Mya means someone as attractive as Jon?

She's about to thank Mya for the defense, when Mya continues, “plus, she's not giving him heart eyes, she's giving him fuck me eyes.”

“I am not!” she hisses at her two friends. Or, she thought they were friends.

“I think it's both,” Myranda muses. “Fuck me and then cuddle me eyes.”

“I hate you both,” Sansa says with as much dignity as she can muster and then walks away from them, towards the refreshment table. There, she grabs a glass of champagne (and tells herself this will be the only one. She's heard horror stories of the time Viserys got drunk at one of these holiday parties. Sansa didn't work here then and it was years ago, but everyone still laughs about it. She will not be that person).

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees someone come to stand next to her and her heart does that incredibly annoying flutter that it always does around Jon.

“You made it,” he says casually, and she turns just in time to catch him eyeing up her dress. His eyes snap back to her face, but... but he was definitely checking her out, right? Or maybe he was just so distracted by how obnoxiously sparkly her dress is.

“Look at you in a suit,” she teases, trying for casual. “I thought you only owned the one pair of jeans and black t-shirt.”

“I take offense to that,” he says, not sounding offended in the slightest. “You should see my closet, it's filled with all sorts of color.”

“Oh?”

“I've got greys,” he nods solemnly. “And dark blues. Even some dark greens.”

“A veritable rainbow,” she agrees, which makes him smile. She tries not to blurt out that she'd be very happy to come see his closet.

They're interrupted in the worst way – Rhaegar shows up and says, “ah! Sansa! I was just telling Egg that this was the night I set you up with Jaehaerys, and here you are!”

Sansa can feel a horrible, splotchy blush start to rise on her chest and make it's way up her throat and to her cheeks.

“I appreciate the offer, but-”

“Dad,” Jon sighs at the same time. “You have got to stop.”

For a moment the world tilts slightly off center and Sansa turns to look at Jon. “What?”

Jon winces and looks back at her and says, “you've already said no, I told him to stop bothering you about it.”

She can hear Rhaegar saying something about how great they'd be, but she can't... she doesn't...

“You're Jaehaerys?”

Confusion flits over Jon's face as he looks from her to Rhaegar. When she turns to Rhaegar, he looks just as confused. She knows she's confused.

“I don't go by it, obviously,” Jon grumbles.

“Nonsense,” Rhaegar frowns. “It's your name. It's a good, strong, family name.”

“He and my mom couldn't agree on a name,” Jon scratches at his beard like he's uncomfortable with the whole situation. “To this day she swears she only signed the birth certificate because she was high on pain meds at the time.”

“You're Jaehaerys,” she repeats, like an idiot.

“You didn't know?” Rhaegar asks.

How did she not know?

The clues had all been there – he's into computer stuff, Rhaegar had said. Getting involved with someone like that, Mya had said. The only IT person that ever goes into Rhaegar's office, and goes in often. How Rhaegar seemed to mention setting her up with Jaehaerys most often after a visit from Jon. Little pieces start to fall into place from the past six months and Sansa wants the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

“Look,” Jon sighs, “I'm sorry if he keeps... this is your place of work and you've been doing really well, don't let him scare you off. I told him it was probably some sort of harassment - you said no, that should-”

“Well, I would've said yes if I knew it was you!” she blurts out.

“Ha!” Rhaegar nearly shouts, grin on his face as he punches Jon in the arm. “I knew it!”

“Wait, you would've?” Jon asks, ignoring his father.

Sansa can feel the heat in her face as she shrugs and nods. “I thought Jaehaerys was like...” she can't help when she looks over at where Aegon is standing, hitting on Margaery.

“There's a reason I didn't suggest you date Aegon,” Rhaegar says with an exaggerated roll of his eyes, as if he's pointing out the obvious. “Now Jaehaerys, here...”

“Dad,” Jon sighs. “I'd like to talk to Sansa alone, could you go?”

Rhaegar manages to look both deeply offended and highly pleased at the same time. But he doesn't argue and leaves them alone.

“I really didn't know it was you,” Sansa murmurs, looking down at her champagne glass instead of him.

“I thought you weren't interested,” Jon clears his throat and she can see him fidget awkwardly with his watch, like he just needs something to do with his hands.

“I thought you weren't interested,” she looks up at him then, remembering all the times he'd seemed to hold back around her and it hits her that it's because he thought she turned him down. Through his dad, sure, but still. “Did you... did you ask Rhaegar to ask me?”

“No,” Jon laughs. “He did that all on his own. Though he may have gotten the idea because...” he trails off with a grimace, but she waits him out, staring at him until he continues, “I may have talked about you after I helped set up your accounts. A lot. Rhaegar might be... eccentric, but he isn't stupid.”

No, Sansa does know that. For all his dumb jokes and disconnect from the real world, there's still a reason Targaryen Inc has been at the top of it's game for decades.

“Well,” Sansa says slowly, hopefully, “if Jaehaerys wanted to ask me out himself, I'm sure I'd say yes.”

There's a smile on Jon's face now, and not that hesitant little half smile he usually wears around her. “Sansa,” he starts, and she hums out an acknowledgment, trying to keep her own smile at bay. “Would you like to go out with me sometime?”

“Oh, I don't normally date coworkers,” she says, and tries not to laugh when his face falls, “but I think I can make an exception for you.”

Jon's smile could light up the room, she thinks.

“I have one request,” he says. “Just don't call me Jaehaerys?”