#//at least i'm trying to feel good about myself

[ddejavvu]

Hiiiiii can u write a blurb about reader having her first baby and she’s struggling letting the baby cry it out to fall asleep.

But Aaron having already gone through this with jack is comforting her and promising the baby knows she loves them but they have to sleep.

i felt this!! i'm not a mother myself (yet) but i don't think i'd be able to stop myself. it was even hard for me to let the baby i was nannying for cry himself out, and he wasn't even mine. i'd be the weak one getting up six times a night cause my baby's crying </33

--

The heartbreaking sounds of your daughter's wailing cries sends tears of your own pricking at your eyes no matter how hard you try squeezing them shut and sleeping through it. You're restless- like her, almost completely controlled by your urge to go into her nursery and comfort her. She's been crying for an hour, and the only reason you've been able to let her 'cry it out' is because Jack is sleeping over at a friend's house.

Just when you think of rolling over to soothe her, Aaron's large hand grasps at your smaller one, and you feel yourself pulled into his chest.

"Don't go now. You need sleep. And she'll be safe. She'll learn."

"Aaron, she's sobbing. She doesn't like learning-" You swallow a sob, "What if- what if she thinks we don't love her? She must be so scared, I- I have to go help her."

"She needs to learn to sleep on her own," Aaron hums, remembering how much it had hurt to sleep train Jack, "Trust me, sweetheart. She knows you love her. And even if its hard to let her cry, we need to let her learn this. We can't be getting up three times a night for the next eighteen years. Once she learns how to sleep on her own, we'll be able to get a good night ourselves. And we need sleep to be good parents."

He's speaking logically, of course. You and Aaron have both been increasingly irritable since the birth of your daughter, as happy as you've both been to welcome her into the world. You've been up and down at least three times a night with your daughter and her irregular sleeping habits, and you're both showing signs of extreme sleep deprivation. Aaron had snapped at Jack only two days prior, which is what had finally pushed him over the edge into sleep training, and you'd felt on the verge of snapping at Aaron yourself. He's right. You need your sleep, and your daughter needs to learn these things.

"Come here." Aaron hums, pulling you tighter into his embrace and flattening his palm over your ear. He disguises it by stroking his thumb over your cheekbone, but you know he's muffling the sounds of your daughter's cries.

"It's okay." He promises, "She'll be okay," And you nestle into the warmth of his palm, trusting him even though you know you're still going to have a sleepless night.

[merchantarthurn]

I'm definitely still recovering from relying on this to get me through uni and the above isn't kidding, it messes you up and your brain absolutely will start throwing up protective measures after a certain point (I've gotten off rather lightly all things considered - mild-moderate fatigue, increased executive disfunction, more frequent boughts of depression, something adjacent to - though more manageable than - agoraphobia, constant brain fog). But! I know I've struggled to find alternatives and spent a long time despairing because stress was all I was able to Rely On for such a long time, so here's some things.

Most importantly, you have to be forgiving if you "slip up". That includes falling back on Stress as a motivator OR failing to achieve something without it. It WILL happen, it will happen a lot, there is nothing shameful about that. Say it aloud to yourself if you're not feeling it. There's going to be a lot of Emotion to this, let yourself feel it as it comes.

It's a long road to improve that potentially has no end and our brains don't deal well with that. It's good to remind yourself of your long term goal occasionally (again, I find verbally expressing it is useful), but it can help to be a bit more micro-scale - a day, or a week. "How did today go?" "What was I satisfied with this week?" Let yourself reflect, do it at a time that feels right and don't make it Another Chore (I like to talk to myself in bed or whilst doing the dishes).

Planning too far in advance can make it daunting, lean into spontaneity where possible. When you remember something important with a deadline, "oh, I need to do that at some point", ask yourself if you can actually do it Now. If you can't, let what you do "now" be setting a reminder so you can have this thought again later. Boom, you've done something.

Satisfaction can carry you in place of stress, but it likely won't come to you. I know my brain doesn't really... do joy, relaxing, satisfaction? Not without conscious input from myself. You'll probably have to start by still relying on Stress, but take a moment afterwards to congratulate yourself for finishing and tell yourself to feel proud about it (again, verbally if needed). No task is too small for this. Squash the part of you that feels silly about it. The more you train yourself to sit in satisfaction, the more you can use it as a Carrot over the Stick that is stress. "If I get this done now, it will be really satisfying." is a mantra for me at the moment (it doesn't always work, but remember point No1).

Further to this - sometimes if positive emotion isn't a motivator, twisting the negative one to help you out can serve you well. "If I at least try and start on this, I will not let myself feel bad if I don't get much of it done." "Hey, if I do this now then I will have one less thing to do on Friday, and I won't get stressed about the deadline".

Tomorrow's a new day. Dissatisfaction comes easier, and it's okay to feel it. Start challenging yourself when it becomes self-shaming, though. You have the opportunity to be even a little better tomorrow.

Again, nothing is too small or silly to hype yourself up about. I struggle with putting things back where they belong which makes a Big Task of tidying stuff up - so I give myself a pat on the back whenever I want to just throw something on a nearby surface but instead make the effort to put it back where it goes. The little things just add up faster.

There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function

[tpwk-formula1]

hi! I saw your menu was back and had to request something.

I'd like to be served by Lando Norris and Max Fewtrell.

to start with I'd like to order a sicilian crust pizza with red sauce.

for toppings I'll have: salami, garlic, roasted asparagus, cherry tomatoes, turkey meatballs and basil

to drink I'll have: sweet tea, boba (but I'm thinking more like double penetration if you're okay with that), vodka redbull and sprite

also, yes to dessert

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

AN - Finally! I am so sorry this took me far longer than I wanted but I kid you not I have deleted and rewrote this request at least 2 times but I'm finally content with it! I hope you love and enjoy the fic!

TW - Threesome, squirting, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, MDNI 18+

WC - 1.5K

sicilian crust dating red sauce rough sex salami "You’re gonna get an attitude adjustment if you keep being a brat” garlic "I know you love it when I fill that pretty pussy with my cum" roasted asparagus "Stop trying to get away. Just be a good girl and take it" cherry tomatoes "Gonna regret it tomorrow when you can’t sit right" turkey meatballs “Stop crying, I’m far from done” basil "I love to watch my cum leak from your pretty pussy" sweet tea dumbification boba anal (DP) vodka redbull squirting sprite size kink dessert yes served by Max Fewtrell and Lando Norris

Y/N POV

"Gonna regret it tomorrow when you can’t sit right" I hear my boyfriend of a year hiss in my ear.

"Max what?" I snap looking at him slightly confused.

"Why is it that every time you disappear and I find you, you're with Verstappen," he whispers back not really answering my question but giving me enough to make me laugh slightly.

"Oh you think this is funny?" Max questions while still pulling me through the busy club back to where Lando was seated with my drink.

"No Max, I think you leaving me alone for several hours and still being jealous because I was hanging out with the only other person I knew. Where the fuck did you two go? Left me alone looking stupid and for what? A quick fuck without me," I seethe back annoyed that he was the one mad.

"I'm not jealous. I'm pissed that I couldn't find my girlfriend when I went to the bathroom for no more than 10 minutes," Max snaps back making me roll my eyes slightly.

I climb into the booth and grabbing the bottle of tequila out of the ice bin and pouring myself and shot and quickly taking it without a second thought.

"Did you not fuck him good enough? Like damn why is he so fucking pissy," I say clearly letting the alcohol do some of the talking for me.

"Really? Don't turn your differences with each other onto me," Lando tells me before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"He's just stressed about the WDC which is weird since he's not the one racing," Lando tells me softly while we watch Max come near us and sit down next to me.

"I'm mad at you," I tell him making him shake his head.

"You'll get over it when I fuck the attitude out of you. I heard the little comment you made to Lando," Max whisper in my ear making me shiver slightly.

"Piss off, Max. I'm so tired of your weird bullshit possessiveness when it comes to Verstappen," I tell him back which quickly has Max wrapping his hand around my neck choking me slightly.

"You really are gonna get an attitude adjustment if you keep being a brat," Max tells me. Before leaning down and smashing his lips on mine clearly still frustrated. I kiss him back before I start feeling Lando and his wandering hands.

"We're in public," I whisper softly which has Lando groaning and standing up before pulling both Max and I up.

"Watching you two fight turns me on," Lando admits as we weave our way out of the club and quickly finding a cab to take up back to our apartment.

When we get back to our place Max makes quick work of stripping Lando and I out of our clothes before pushing me onto the bed so I'm positioned on my hands and knees. Once I arch my back I feel Max land a harsh spank right on my left ass cheek.

"Fuck," I whimper when I feel another on land on my ass. Suddenly I see Lando come onto the bed and sit down right in front of me. I instantly reach for his cock and pull it into my mouth.

"Fuck," Lando groans when my tongue starts swirling around his sensitive tip before I sink my mouth down taking all of Lando's cock into my mouth.

I feel Lando's hands tangle into my hair and start helping me bob my head up and down his cock while I can hear Max undressing himself before I feel the tip of his cock teasing my clit making me whimper around Lando's cock.

Once Max starts pushing in I moan loudly which is easily muffled due to my mouth being stuffed. When I feel Max bottom out in my pussy I pull my mouth off Lando's cock and let out a loud moan.

"Fuck, you're so fucking tight," Max groans making me clench slightly from his words only making Max fuck me faster.

Lando pushes me back down on his cock making me gag almost instantly with how rough he is fucking into my mouth. I can feel the tears starting to streak down my cheeks.

“Stop crying, I’m far from done,” Lando groans while fucking into my face a bit harder. With Max still fucking into my soaked pussy I can feel him hitting my G-spot over and over again making my orgasm start to build.

"I'm close," I whimper out pulling off of Lando's cock for a split second before he pushes me back down and Max starts fucking me harder.

When I feel my orgasm hit I pull off of Lando's cock with a shout while I feel myself start squirting all over the bed.

"Fuck, you have the prettiest pussy when you cum," Max groans while he pulls out and pushes me towards Lando to climb into his lap.

Once I'm close enough to Lando he pulls me to him and instantly sinks me down on his cock while I hear Max grabbing something out of the night stand.

"He's gonna fuck your ass," Lando groans into my ear making me clench around Lando.

"Fuck," I whisper when I feel a drop of cold lube hit my puckered ass.

When I feel Max sink in a couple fingers I throw my head back moaning which has Max using his free hand to choke me while he continues to fuck my ass with his fingers.

When Max feels like he's stretched my ass enough he releases my throat and I lean down and pull Lando in for a kiss while he continues to buck up into my pussy.

When I feel Max lining up his cock with my ass I instinctively clench before doing my best to relax.

"Oh God," I cry out when Max starts slowly pushing into my ass filling me up in ways I have never been filled.

"Fuck, shit, so tight," Max grits out through clenched teeth once he's fully seated in my ass.

Lando and Max both start rocking their hips successfully fucking into me making me whimper.

"Fuck," I cry out feeling another orgasm start to build up deep in the pit of my stomach.

Lando starts thrusting up, deep into my pussy at a fast a brutal pace bringing me towards my orgasm far faster than the one previously.

"Fuck, cum for us pretty girl," Lando groans out before sneaking a hand between our bodies and rubbing my clit.

"Oh God," I cry out while cum oncee again. Neither one of the boys slow down helping me ride out my orgasm as well as successfully overstimulating me making me try to crawl my body away.

I move myself up a few inches before Max roughly grabs my hips from behind and pulls me back into him and Lando filling me up once again.

"Stop trying to get away. Just be a good girl and take it," Max groans out through gritted teeth making me whimper clearly getting lost in the pleasure.

"Too much," I somehow whimper out but instead of slowing down both of the boys speed up their actions making me whimper and moan loudly not being able to form any words.

"Look, she's so fucked out," Lando says while smirking only making me whimper more feeling another orgasm building up.

"Fuck, she's so desperate she's gonna cum again. We're gonna fill your tight little hole up," Max groans from behind me making me whimper and nod my head.

"I know you love it when we fill those pretty holes up with our cum," Lando groans while speeding up his trusting slightly before he sends one final rough thrust deep into my pussy before unleashing a massive cumshot deep into my pussy making a me whimper.

With Lando no longer roughly fucking into my pussy Max starts fucking into my ass harder throwing me over the edge.

"Oh fuck," I cry out while pulling off Lando's cock slightly while squirting my pleasure all over him.

"Fuck, I love when you squirt," Lando groans while throwing his head back.

"Fuck, I'm cumming," Max groans while sending one final thrust deep into my ass and unleashing a rope after rope of cum in my ass.

When Max finally comes down from his orgasm he slowly pulls out of my ass before sitting back and watching my hole leak their cum.

"I love to watch my cum leak from your pretty holes," Max groans before slowly getting out of bed and placing a soft kiss on both mine and Lando's forehead before going into the connected bathroom and grabbing a warm towel.

He quickly wipes me down and lightly wipes Lando down before climbing into bed and pulling me off Lando's chest and onto his.

"I'll work on not being so jealous," Max mumbles making me laugh slightly.

"If you fuck me like that every time I talk to Verstappen I might start getting a Red bull pass," I joke which makes Max pinch my side as a warning.

"I rather like you in my garage," Lando says while turning on his side and pulling my back into his chest so I'm still slightly laying on Max's side but I'm still spooning with Lando as well. It doesn't take any of us very long to fall asleep wrapped in each others arms.

[attentialkane]

Okay I went full circle and went back to drawing fanart, but honestly I cannot be bothered to draw unless it's something I'm hyperfixating on and DE is giving me brain worms.

I've been SERIOUSLY struggling with letting myself be consumed with another piece of media (we will not be talking about my almost decade long jse hyperfix thank you) because most of my current friends have really cool interests and I felt silly being so fixated on videogames so I kinda just shut off everything and tried to """"intellectualize""" more hoping that it would also translate into original art, but all it did was give me an almost year long artblock and zero inspiration for anything and many many many projects that I never finished (see the shop, all the ocs I just forgot about etc etc etc...) - and I think that is exactly where I went wrong, most of my passion projects despite being aus or fan related content have never lacked of deep meaning. ( See the mhau, which btw I'm going to revist in some way – as I told to a friend I'm not letting a 4 years long project rest to rot lol. It's probably gonna get turned into another original story, unrelated to jse and the other admins of the au out of respect.)

I'm trying to take in what this year has been artistically for me because as for personal growth it's a can of worms I don't want to open.

I think taking a break from fanart and posting art to do more irl art stuff did do me good for a while, but then I carried it on for too long and it did the exact opposite.

As for numbers go, I've had most of my hit posts (mostly qsmp on twt and tumblr and some mouthwashing stuff), which was super great for a bit until it quickly burnt out.

The thing with running art pages (I've made and deleted at least 10 art accounts, yes that is another mistake) is that it's almost impossible to have fanart and originak content coexist with the same engagment.

Anyways, still I feel like I still improved artistically and I finally let go of ibis paint to use csp, which has been great.

[aviad1b]

I have some very mixed feelings about this.

I'll start by saying that I've been talking about the possibility of such a project for a long time now. I considered trying to do it by myself for myself just as a proof of concept.

So TL;DR: I'm conflicted, but in general - a fan?

On the one hand, I can see where David is coming from: yes, extending a language's grammar like that seems kinda... impossible. Especially with Hebrew. People tend to get fixated on these things, and Hebrew doesn't really have this sort of thing naturally.

On the other hand - didn't we ravitalize the whole goddamn language? And yes, it was never truly dead in the first place, not in the way that gentiles like to think of at the very least, but it wasn't developing as much and we changed that.

And also, think about it - how does modern Hebrew handle gender inclusivity at the moment? With notation such as את/ה and רוצים/ות, etc. It wasn't always the case. Think about it, it used to be that to be gender "neutral" you just use the male form. Then developed into masc/fem, then "neutral/fem" (which isn't even a good name for the notation because את/ה exists).

The truth is that while Hebrew is a very "kept" language, very protected, in the sense that it's vocabulary and grammar haven't developed that much in over a millenia - it's also kinda the most evolving, in a sense? In what other language are words still constantly made, constantly developed, all in a way that fits perfectly fine with everything that already exists? I don't really know many languages at all, but comparing to English at the very least, it's seems kinda crazy to me. Hebrew is a very flexible language, and I've been saying that the only way she's not flexible in is gender - why does it have to stay that way?

We proved that we can make major changes to the very way that people speak - or write, at the very least.

When I think about such changes... No, not just changes - developments, in the Hebrew language, I also find my thoughts wondering to something else - gentiles, antisemites especially, like to claim that modern Hebrew is completely different to traditional Hebrew (which is a claim that we all point and laugh at, since modern Hebrew natives can read and understand traditional and even ancient Hebrew perfectly fine). Maybe the reason I'm somewhat conflicted about this is because it will further support this "nerative" (lie) that it's become a different language? But that's dumb, languages develop and involve all the time, Hebrew happened to be a more protected language. Allowing it to be a bit more flexible doesn't make it any less "real". And besides, why should antisemites get to dictate what our language is like? That's just not right at all.

A problem that I still do have with this tho, has to do with vowels. In day-to-day, people don't write vowels in Hebrew. That isn't going to change and I don't think I'd even want it to change honestly. But it does make this more challenging - without vowels, how will one manage to differentiate בַּת from בֶּת , and אַתָּה from אַתּ��ה ?

Or maybe that's a good thing? Because it'll make people able to "stealthily" use it, sneak it in without people realising and protesting? But then this isn't really the way I want such a notion to be used, do I?

The thing about developments in general, and in language specifically, is that they come out of need. If Hebrew fails to satisfy the needs of its speakers, what guarantee do we have of it surviving tomorrow? Pardon my pessimism, but being Israeli and Hebrew (yes I still use the old notion of Hebrew as in the ethnicity/people), I see more and more Hebrew natives approaching English more rather than Hebrew. Maybe even including myself - it's kinda my entire blog. I started catching myself thinking in English sometimes - I managed to come to the conclusion that a major part of this is because Hebrew forced me to think of myself in gendered terms. English does not.

This is what I mean when I say on my blog that I love Hebrew but she doesn't love me back

I've seen people use אתם/הם as pronouns in Hebrew. If it works for them then good for them, but to me, I simply cannot accept that this is the "best Hebrew can do". That's... still gendered. It doesn't suffice. I refuse to accept it as enough. It's not.

And yes, a major part of English influence on Hebrew natives (and Jews in general) is the fault of the internet. But, I do feel like there's more to it - for some at least, there's a need that isn't answered.

We Jews are experts at adapting "old", traditional concepts onto whatever the current times are; why should our language be any different? Perhaps we should consider that our very language is more like us than we think?

Can we get people on a major scale to fundamentally change the way in which they speak? probably not. Can we add another gender notion for people who want to use it tho? I'd like to think so. I like to think about it somewhat like neo-pronouns in English: when they were first introduced, almost nobody used them and people in general thought that they were weird. Heck, people STILL do. But it have some people, even if just a few, a new way to finally feel more comfortable with the language that is used for them - and that, on its own, should suffice. In my humble opinion, at least.

To sum it up, while my feelings about this are mixed, I also feel like if ANYONE could achieve such a project - it's us, the Hebrews, the Jews.

And I'm sure we will some day.

I can't believe anything else.

Because Hebrew is a gendered language, the Nonbinary Hebrew Project has created a third grammatical gender system! They are building a bigger tent for nonbinary Jews, guided by Torah and Talmud which teach us to rejoice that which cannot be neatly categorized.

The project is free, open-source, community-based, and grassroots. It lives and grows and changes with every single person who uses and adds to it.

Here are some example usages: Candlelighting Blessing: with gender-expansive God language

בְּרוּךֶ אָתֶה ײַ, אֱלֹהִימוֹתֵינוּ מַלְכֶּת הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְשֶׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתֶיהֶ וְצִוֶנוּ לְהַדְלִיק נֵר שֶׁל שַבָּת

Bruche ateh Adonai, Elohimoteinu Malket ha’Olam asher kidshenu b’mitzvoteihe, v’tzivenu l’hadlik ner shel Shabbat. Blessed are You, God, Ruler of the universe, who sanctified us with the commandment of lighting Shabbat candles.

~~~

Kiddush: with gender-expansive God language

בְּרוּךֶ אָתֶה ײַ,  אֱלֹהִימוֹתֵינוּ מַלְכֶּת הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרָאת פְּרִי הַגָּֽפֶן

Bruche ateh Adonai, Elohimoteinu Malket ha’Olam, borat p’ri hagafen. Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.

~~~

Blessing over Bread: with gender-expansive God language

בְּרוּךֶ אָתֶה ײַ, אֱלֹהִימוֹתֵינוּ מַלְכֶּת הָעוֹלָם, הַמּוֹצִיאֶה לֶחֶם מִן הָאָרֶץ

Bruche ateh Adonai, Elohimoteinu Malket ha’Olam, Hamotzi'e lechem min ha'aretz. Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has brought forth bread from the earth.

~~~

Waking-up Blessing: with gender-expansive language for the speaker, but traditional God language

מודֶת אֲנִי לְפָנֶיךָ מֶלֶךְ חַי וְקַיָּם, שֶׁהֶחֱזַרְתָּ בִּי נִשְׁמָתִי בְּחֶמְלָה, רַבָּה אֱמוּנָתֶךָ:

Modet ani l'fanecha, melech chai v'kayam, shechezarta bi nishmati, b'chemla, raba emunatecha.

I give thanks before you, King living and eternal, for You have returned within me my soul with compassion; abundant is Your faithfulness!

~~~

Morning Blessing substitutions: with gender-expansive language for the speaker, but traditional God language

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה' אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁעָשַׂנִי בֶּת חוֹרין

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-Olam, she-asani bet chorin.

Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, who has made me free. ~~~

Soulmate Blessing: written by Ariel Ezekiel Tovlev, with gender-expansive language for the speaker's soulmate, but traditional God language

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה אֶת יְדִידֶת נַפְשִׁי

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech haolam, asher asah et yedidet nafshi. Blessed are You, Ruler of the Universe, who created the companion of my soul.

~~~

Wedding-Enacting Words: with gender-expansive language for the one the speaker is marrying and for the ring, but traditional God language

הרי אתה מקדשה לי, בטבעת זת, כדת משה וישראל

Harei ateh m’kudesheh li, b’tabaet zet, k’dat Moshe v’Yisrael.

Behold, you are sanctified to me, with this ring, according to Moses and Israel. ~~~ For more examples, as well as charts explaining the grammar system, check out the website! A note from Jewish-LGBTQ: The Nonbinary Hebrew Project is primarily being created in the diaspora and is used for ritual purposes; queer communities in Israel have their own system for creating gender-expansive Hebrew. The Nonbinary Hebrew Project should be understood as creating a third grammatical gender for liturgical and ritual Hebrew, rather than for everyday, spoken Modern Hebrew.

[olderthannetfic]

www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/768526246295502848/i-feel-sad-when-you-as-a-tactic-for-telling-a

I have thoughts about this! I’m that anon who was panicking because I had received some AI “art” that I didn’t want! And I got advised by OTNF and others to ignore the “gift” and if anyone tried to start shit, to tell them AI art “makes me sad” and keep repeating that without further information so as not to give anyone the chance to make me justify myself. (It worked a treat btw, thanks OTNF and everyone else who commented! 🙏)

I thought about it and why it works a lot after that. I realized that’s called “weaponizing feelings” and I had not thought to do it because it’s not part of my character? Communication style? Something.

So like any weapon, I realized that it would work better in some situations than others.

Like lots of people pointed out in the comments, this wouldn’t work on them either because they wouldn’t notice, or think it’s their problem, or at most will find it mildly irritating. I think that’s because they’re just like me and don’t normally do “weaponization of feelings.” It’s just not how some people operate.

But this tactic works amazing in environments where everyone is playing the “feelings game” like it is in anti- and anti-like circles. They operate on disgust, kneejerk reactions, fear, guilt, “moral superiority” etc and so being seen to “inflict” a bad feeling on a “good person” makes YOU the bad guy and so you'd avoid it at all costs. And thus this tactic works in ALL environments where people play that game.

And if you've been in such environments a lot, then, even when the “I'm sad when you__” comes from a close friend or family member, you can still end up taking it as an attempt to play feelings games instead of a genuine sentiment and attempt to have a honest conversation. (Or when said family member or friend has been manipulative or emotionally detached or something in the past.)

So yeah, thinking about this advice I got here really put into perspective for me a lot of behaviors that seemed odd before!

(Also, I think there’s some therapy talk involved in this exact phrasing! The good old advice about making I-statements like “I feel sad when you…” instead of “YOU are being a bitch/abuser/annoyance when you…” so as not to come off as a bad person.)

--

Exactly. Weaponizing feelings is disingenuous and annoying, at least to me, but it's also the language some people understand. My instinct is that the context where you're getting AI art is also going to be one where this is the local lingo. And the I-statement is indeed key. It's claiming the biggest victim seat for yourself, and we all know that the person with the most pain must be listened to absolutely. The bigger the victim, the more sanctified the opinion.

Specifically, some AI-sharers are likely to either pull "I'm sad you didn't thank me for this art" or, when challenged, "I have to use AI because [disability wank]". The latter is absolutely the kind of thing you can head off with "Wah, my feelings!" as long as you get there first.

In person or on my tumblr, I'm more likely to point out when someone's playing the feelings game and tell them they're being. manipulative to try to ignore a boundary (or whatever the situation is), but that requires control of infrastructure (to block them from the space) and a tolerance for them getting angry. If you just want something to go away, this isn't always the best tactic.

You don't owe some annoying rando your honest opinion or an in-depth discussion.

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 66 ~ Just the Beginning

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 5

✧ Word Count : 6.7k

In this chapter ~ The search continues as the small group ventures out to make sure what Aaron claims is true. After taking every precaution in the books, they head out at nightfall to this so-called community. But the question remains; is this really the safe haven they've been hoping for?

We all stayed relatively silent for most of the journey trying to track down the vehicles in question. But even when the others started having a discussion, I didn't pay them too much attention. My head continuously turned to watch our backs, Abraham right by my side doing the exact same thing with the gun he brought clutched tightly in his hands. I was just glad I wasn't the only one that was paranoid. Everyone else seemed like this was just a casual Sunday stroll as we approached the unfamiliar area, while the two of us seemed to be the only ones that remembered what went down only moments ago.

"How ya doing, Missy?" Abraham's voice asked suddenly.

My brows furrowed in confusion, and it took me a second to realize he was talking to me, "Missy? You do know what my name is right?" I asked genuinely.

He let out a hearty laugh, "Yeah, I do...but I just have a thing for nicknames. Makes it more interesting."

I nodded slowly in understanding, "Okay, sure...but why Missy?"

"I don't know..." he said honestly with a simple shrug, "Just kinda suits you."

That only made me more confused, but I decided to just go along with it. I never really cared much for my name, so maybe this was a bit of an upgrade. "Alright, Missy it is...but I think it's only fair that I give you a nickname too."

"Go ahead." he nodded.

I thought for a moment while my eyes scanned him, before a small smirk was brought to my face, "I think Red suits you...for obvious reasons."

He laughed again at my smartass comment, "That sounds about right...Red and Missy, seems like a good pair to me."

"I have a feeling we will be." I replied with the smallest of smiles.

He returned the gesture while snorting a little in amusement, "You still didn't answer my question."

"I'm okay..." I reassured, almost as if I was reassuring myself as well, "At least...I'm trying to be okay."

"Hey," he said seriously, "That's all anyone can ask for these days; that you're trying. I'm proud of ya." he claimed before he clapped a gentle hand on my shoulder.

A smile made its way to my face once again, wrapping an arm around him in return as our steps seemed to fall in sync, "You're a pretty great guy, you know that? I'm glad I met you." I told him honestly.

He gave my shoulder a squeeze, "I'm real glad to have met you too."

After that we walked the majority of the way side by side, our arms now wrapped protectively around each other. It was nice to know that he would have my back, and I just hoped he knew I would have his; even though it was painfully obvious he could handle himself. I mean this man is a tank and could probably break someone's nose with his fucking pinky. But still, my offer still stands. It was crazy to remember in the beginning I didn't trust him one bit, thinking he was an absolute fool for believing in something so far beyond our reach. But now here he was, offering me comfort and reassurance when I needed it the most. And I apricated that more than he even knew.

A hand being placed on my back is what caused me to turn around, seeing Michonne over my shoulder as she tried to get my attention. "You mind if I talk to her alone?" she asked the man.

He nodded and gave my shoulder another squeeze, before picking up his pace toward the others to give us some space. I watched as she fell in line with me, something clearly clouding her mind, "What's up?"

She shook her head slightly, "Look...I know you don't trust Aaron, okay? I get that." she explained, her words causing me to sigh before she even finished, "But threatening him the way you did, not taking the gun away from his head...that was a lot."

"Chonne," I said warningly, "I don't know what to believe anymore...who I can put my faith in. Taking a risk like this, especially when we have kids with us, it's something we have to be cautious of."

She nodded her head, "I know that. But there's also risks with everything we do. Like helping a priest, or taking in a girl who was with The Governor...or when you helped a crazy lady with a sword." she smirked.

I scoffed, "No, that lady wasn't crazy...she was insane."

She nudged my shoulder with a small smile, "Ha ha." she said sarcastically, "My point is...we all took a chance with a stranger at one time or another, so how is this any different?"

I kept my eyes forward at the people in front of me, pondering over the question she clearly wanted a real answer to. How was it different? It was different because he wasn't alone out here, even if it truly was just one other person. It was different because he had a whole community waiting for him to come back, and who knows how dangerous those people really were. And it was different because they had been watching us for days, possibly weeks. That fact alone made me more weary.

So that's exactly what I told her. "It's different because he's not alone, and they've been watching us for...God only knows how long."

"To see if we would be a threat." she pointed out, "To see if we were good enough people to bring back to the community, maybe they did have a good reason to keep an eye on us. We don't necessarily look friendly and approachable walking mindlessly out here with guns in our hands."

I huffed softly, "Okay, that's fair. But we've been through so much, you know that. So, I'm sorry if I wanted to be extra careful about the whole situation...I can't lose anyone else."

"You don't have to." she reassured, her hand reaching down to give mine a comforting squeeze, "Just trust me on this. We're going to be okay."

I stared at her for a moment, reading her eyes to see that there was nothing but sincerity behind them which only caused me to reluctantly nod my head in agreement. She smiled at me, and we continued to walk together, filling the silence every once and a while when it was starting to feel too quiet. Though a part of me wanted to pick up the pace, knowing in the back of my mind that Rick was counting down the seconds until we came back safely, and I myself was also just as anxious to see if Aaron was really telling the truth.

It didn't take much longer venturing down the long road before we came across a single car and an RV parked off to the side, with fallen trees blocking them from moving any further. I mentally face palmed once I saw the sight, almost wanting it to be some kind of trap just so I could've proved my point. But instead, it just left me looking like the paranoid psycho of the group right alongside Rick.

"He was telling the truth." Michonne announced.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah we got that, Captain obvious, thank you." I muttered before nudging her and moving forward to walk next to the rest of them.

But before we were able to make it up to the vehicles to check them out, sudden rustling was heard from the bushes just to our right, causing all of us to quickly be on guard. We all collectively assumed the worst as we raised our weapons in the same direction, jumping out of our skin at the sudden noise.

"Not one step closer asshole!" Glenn called out.

But the sounds only grew louder as the figures approached, only to see it was just a couple walkers that emerged from the greenery, and we all seemed to sigh in slight relief that it wasn't more unknown people just beyond the trees.

"I got 'em." Abraham muttered as he grabbed his knife.

"We got 'em." I corrected while sending him a knowing glance, pulling out my silenced weapon as well from around my hips.

He nodded once before moving forward, easily taking down the walker that had its dead eyes targeted on him, while I killed off the one trailing farther behind the first, ripping my blade back out of its forehead.

"Quite the duo we are." I muttered as I cleaned its disgusting blood off of my blade.

"Damn right." he agreed, before cautiously followed me up to the RV to look inside.

I quickly stepped up to the door, ignoring his protests from behind me about letting him go first as I tugged the door open harshly with my gun raised. My eyes moved frantically around the place, moving down towards the other end of the narrow space to see if there was anyone inside, but was left with nothing. The only thing we managed to find were a lot of canned food items in the cabinets right above our heads.

Abraham didn't hesitate to rummage around through the stash, suddenly gasping as his fingertips brushed something towards the back. "Oh, hell yeah." he muttered as he pulled it out for me to see, reading the label to see it was chocolate pudding.

I laughed lightly with a nod in approval before we packed it back up, informing the others waiting outside that it was safe. None of us hesitated after that to pile into the vehicles to head back towards the barn, wanting everyone to know that we were all still alive.

It wasn't long before we pulled up to the destination without any problems, though we were all faced with a bunch of guns aimed in our faces the moment we stepped through the doors. But the group visibly relaxed once they saw it was just us, relieved to see we had made it back safely with seemingly no problem. One by one we brought in the many food items that were stashed away in the RV for the others to see, to which Rick quickly jumped on the opportunity to inspect every little thing. But in the end, nothing looked like it had been tampered with.

Rick then stepped forward, looking to where Aaron was now tied up, "This is ours now." he said matter-of-factly while holding up one of the cans in his grasp.

"There's more than enough." he assured.

"It ours whether or not we go to your camp." he said.

Carl made a face like he was dumbfounded, "Why wouldn't we go?" he asked suddenly.

"If he were lying, or if he wanted to hurt us; we wouldn't go. But he isn't...and he doesn't. We need this... so we're going, all of us. Somebody say something if they feel differently." Michonne spoke up.

There was a moment of silence before Daryl scoffed from beside me, "I dunno man...this barn smells like horse shit."

I nudged his side to silence him, hearing him mutter a small "ow" as he rubbed the sore spot on his arm. I was having trouble deciding if I should speak up or not when Michonne gave us the chance. He was telling the truth about the cars and the photos were actual proof that this place existed, but who knew if we were ready for this. Ready to commit to something so serious, and ready to meet a bunch of new people that may or may not be a threat.

But then I looked over at Carl holding Judith tightly in his arms and my heart instantly knew what it wanted. It wanted a safe place for everyone, but especially for these kids who deserved the whole world; and believe me I would give it to them if I could. Which is why for once in my life, I kept my mouth shut. For them.

I scanned everyone's faces around me and saw that no one seemed to be making an effort to protest and claim we shouldn't go, before my eyes landed on Rick. He looked to be deep in thought, seeing as everyone else was more than willing to explore this new opportunity, his eyes then meeting mine from among the others. The look on my face must've given him some type of reassurance because then next thing I knew, he was agreeing.

"Yeah." he muttered, "We're going."

Daryl squeezed my hip lightly when the decision was finally settled, looking up at him with the best smile I could muster. Although it was clear I wasn't fooling him in the slightest as he furrowed his brows a bit in concern, but he clearly knew that I was still weary of this place, unsure about everything as a whole. I just had to remind myself to be ready for anything, to not let my guard down for a very long time. At least not until I knew for sure that this community could keep us protected.

"So, where are we going? Where's your camp?" Rick asked.

The man looked a little unsure, "Every time I've done this, I've been behind the wheel driving recruits back. I believe you're good people, I've bet my life on it...I'm just not ready to bet my friends lives on it."

"You're not driving." I spoke up, "So if you want to get home, you'll have to tell us how."

He looked up at me with clear hesitance, but the look I gave him caused his shoulders to slump in defeat before glancing back toward Rick. "Go north or Route 16." he muttered.

Rick began marking up the map in which direction to head, circling the road in question, "And then?" I pressed.

"I'll tell you when we get there." he said calmly.

I tilted my head a little at his stubbornness before getting down to his level, "You know, for a guy who desperately wants people to trust him, you sure are being pretty vague about where you're taking us." I said lowly.

He didn't have a chance to respond before Rick spoke up, "We'll take 23 North, you'll give us directions from there."

"That's– I don't know how else to say it, that's a bad idea. We've cleared 16 it'll be faster." he assured.

"We'll take 23." Rick argued casually, "We'll leave at sundown."

Sasha spoke up from the back, "We're doing this at night?"

"Look, I know it's dangerous, but it's better than riding up to the gates during the day. If it isn't safe, we need to get out before they know we're there."

"No one is going to hurt you." Aaron slightly snapped, probably fed up with the constant accusations towards him and his friends.

"We don't know that." I clapped back, "We don't know anything about this place other than what it fucking looks like."

He shook his head at me, "I know you're trying to protect your group, but you're putting them in danger."

Rick stood to his full height and walked right up beside me, "Tell us where the camp is, we'll leave right now." he said simply.

Aaron just slowly shook his head and looked back down to the ground. I scoffed before standing back up from my hunched position while Rick addressed the others, "It's going to be a long night. Eat, and rest if you can." he nodded, before slowly walking outside to get some air.

A long night...that was a mild way of putting it.

All of us tried our best to get at least a little sleep before we headed out for the camp, but it was proven to be more difficult than we anticipated considering the amount of stress and anxiety that weighed heavily in the space. We could all feel it, how much it was affecting us. And it was safe to say no one got even a wink of rest within the few hours we sat there doing absolutely nothing.

I couldn't stop overthinking even if I tried. Daryl tried numerous times to reassure me of my worries, even trying to get me to lay beside him so I could sleep, but my mind just wouldn't stop racing. My restlessness only influenced his own as he couldn't seem to settle either. The time passed by incredibly slow while we talked with one another to try and ease the obvious worry, but it didn't help much. Nothing seemed to. Now I only wished Abraham had saved that whiskey.

The moment the sun began to dip in the sky, we all gathered our things to pack up and head out for the journey ahead. It was then Rick pulled me aside and asked if I would ride in the separate car where Aaron would be just in case things went wrong. And I agreed; anything that would help put his mind at ease. Daryl was obviously hesitant to let me go alone, but he did nonetheless, knowing that I could handle myself if need be. Even if he wasn't around to protect me.

I kept my weapons on me securely as we rounded everyone up, starting up the engines to head off once it grew dark enough to move without being spotted. And though it was a cautious idea to stay out of sight, it was proving to be more difficult to see.

My body was leant against the passenger side door while Rick drove through the night, Glenn and Aaron just in the back. Right then and there I found myself wishing I had ridden in the RV along with everyone else. Not because I suddenly felt unsafe, but because of the God awful awkward silence the filled the car. Rick was tense as he drove, gripping the steering wheel tightly, the rest of us clearly playing it safe as to not say a word at the feeling of his energy.

Out of my own boredom, I eventually reached for the glove compartment to see what was inside, pulling out a few license plates that laid comfortably inside. I flipped through the few that were in my hands, noticing that they were all from different states, each unique and colorful.

"Oh, I'm trying to get all fifty to hang them up in my house." Aaron said, glancing over my shoulder to see what I had grabbed.

I turned around to look at him, "You have your own house?"

"Mhm." he hummed with a nod of his head.

My eyes instinctively glanced back toward Rick to see I had caught his eye, having a silent exchange before I put the license plates back where I found them without a word. It didn't really surprise me anymore that he and I could just give a certain look and instantly seem to know what was going through one another's minds. I didn't know how we did it, but we did. Like twin telepathy or some freaky shit.

Though Aaron seemed to quickly catch onto it, his eyes darting back and forth between the two of us to catch the small act before quietly clearing his throat.

"So...I might be totally wrong here, but are you- are you guys...together?" he hesitantly asked.

I quickly looked back to see him gesturing between Rick and I, and we both instantly shook our heads with disapproving noises. "Oh, hell no." I muttered a little too loud.

"Hey." Rick spoke a bit offendedly.

"Oh, come on," I scoffed, "Don't get all upset, it's just...you're..." I trailed off as I looked at him, trying to find a good explanation, "You're Rick." I said simply as I gave him a pat on the shoulder.

He nodded slowly with a huff, "Alright, yeah fair enough."

Aaron chuckled a bit awkwardly whilst Glenn tried not to laugh at all at the assumption. "So...you're with someone else?" Aaron asked again, clearly just trying to make conversation.

"Yeah..." I said cautiously, "I thought it was kind of obvious."

"The guy with the crossbow?" he guessed.

I thought for a moment if I should really commit to the truth, knowing he could easily use it against me if he wanted. But realistically what could he do? His hands were currently tied behind his back as we had control of the car we were riding in; safe to say we had the upper hand. So, I simply nodded my head to confirm, not wanting to get too deep into that hole.

"He looks like the guy you would want to have around...seems protective, and...scary."

I snorted softly at his honesty, not being able to agree more as I stayed quiet once again, the car falling back into a silence that was a little less tense than before.

My gaze kept panning back over towards the side mirror, making sure I could still see Abraham following close behind us in the RV with the headlights almost blinding me every time I looked. And then that's when it hit me. When Rick was looking through the many pictures Aaron provided, I didn't recall seeing one single person in any of them.

I turned back around slowly and made eye contact with the man, "How come you didn't have any pictures of your group?"

"Oh, I took one. But the exposure wasn't right." he said casually.

My suspicion only grew as I stared at him before turning back to Rick, sharing another uneasy look, "Did you ask him the questions?" Glenn asked.

"No..." Rick sighed.

I turned back to him again, "How many walkers have you killed?"

He shook his head at me, confusion creeping onto his features as his brow furrowed, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Did I stutter? How many?" I asked again.

He shrugged, "I don't know...a lot."

"How many people have you killed?"

This was the question that most people seemed to hesitate on, and he clearly wasn't any different than the rest as he paused for a moment and thought, but didn't break my gaze. "Two." he stated.

"Why?"

"Because they tried to kill me."

I found myself nodding in understanding, seeing he looked to be telling the truth as I turned back to face the road again. His answers made sense and he didn't fumble on any of them. Maybe this could all work out.

"What the hell is this?" Rick asked suddenly, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I looked down to see some type of machine, not fully understanding what it was used for upon first glance. My brows furrowed as I picked it up to inspect it a bit better than before, my eyes slightly widening when it clicked in my mind.

"You were listening to us?" I asked, not taking my eyes off the object in my hands.

He sighed, "I already said I was watching you...so, yes I was listening too."

Rick's head snapped over to me, "This means his people could have one too. They could've heard our plan, this isn't safe!"

In the midst of all the yelling and panic, I glanced up just in time to see the sudden large group of walkers ahead on the road, "Watch out!"

"Shit!" Rick cursed, not having enough time to swerve as he started to plow right through them at an intense speed.

Blood splattered all over the windshield and I cringed at the sounds of the snarls mixed with the crunches of their decaying bones. But to my surprise, he didn't slow down or stop at any point, his foot only pushing further on the gas as we continued to hit one dead body after another.

"Rick!" I yelled.

"They were right behind us! They would've hit us, now they can get out." Rick said as he nodded behind us toward the others.

The growls never subsided as he continued to fucking send it through the herd, their blood now coating the car to the point where the headlights were now tinted red as they illuminated our surroundings. All of us flinched every time he ran over one after another, silently wondering how the hell we were going to get out of this if they just kept coming. But the numbers slowly dwindled down once we got through the worst, Rick managing to find a clearing near the grass where he harshly pulled the car over, shoving it in park before suddenly getting out. It was confirmed; he lost his damn mind.

My eyes widened as I quickly hopped out alongside him, peering at him over the car, "What the hell are you doing!?"

"I don't see them!" he yelled back as he looked behind us for the RV that had seemingly disappeared.

I followed his line of sight and noticed that I couldn't see any other set of headlights coming our way. A pit formed in my stomach at all the possibilities of what could've happened to them, and it such a short span of time.

"They had to have gotten away. Let's go circle back and find them." he announced.

I just nodded my head and got back in the vehicle, watching as he attempted to clean off the windshield from the disgusting blood and guts as much as he could before jumping back in the driver's seat. Glenn frantically handed him the map as he gave him directions on where to go, Rick nodding his head to confirm he heard as he tried to turn the key to bring the engine to life. But of course, it refused to start, only managing to sputter pathetically.

"Son of a bitch." I cursed.

"Come on!" Rick yelled as he hit the steering wheel, trying to turn the key again but was just met with clicking when the scrap of metal didn't budge.

Glenn cursed from the back as he then rushed out of the car, trying to see if he could fix whatever was happening while Rick aggressively kept turning the key over and over again. The sound of the herd was growing nearer with the more attention we drew to ourselves, opening up my door to peer out and see how much time we had before they were on our asses. The group was large and unescapable if we continued to just sit here, being at war with myself as I considered the possibility of outrunning them instead.

"We need to leave now." Aaron said with a crack of panic in his voice.

"Yeah, no shit." Rick sneered as he tried again to start it up again.

I sat back in the seat with a breath, raking my brain for anything that would help us, when a flicker of red light suddenly caught my attention from above the night sky. "Look!" I said as I pointed to the flare.

"Shit..." Aaron muttered.

Rick looked back at him, "Who did that?"

"I need to leave. This is over, let me out. I need to get out of here." he muttered frantically as he tried to exit the car with his bonded wrists.

Rick and I continued to press him for answers, but all it was doing was making his panic grow, avoiding every single one we threw at him as his sole focus was getting out of the car as fast as possible. But he quickly realized he wasn't getting anywhere on his own. It wasn't until Glenn opened up the back door to see if we saw the same flare that he did, and Aaron didn't waste the opportunity. In an instant, he kicked Glenn backward and onto the ground so he could stumble out of the car clumsily and take off toward the woods.

"Fuck no." I muttered under my breath before swiftly exiting the car to run after him.

"Rose, just leave him! We have to find our people!" Rick yelled after me.

I turned back briefly, "They saw that flare, they think we shot it! This is how we find them!" I yelled, taking out my gun before rushing through the dark forest.

I sprinted quickly through the woods, squinting to see which way he turned, but it was far too hard to tell what direction his figure turned off in. I heard heavy footsteps following behind me, seeing Rick and Glenn hot on my heels trying to catch up as I continued to move with ease. The three of us mindlessly searched, continuously watching our backs for the walkers that managed to follow behind. But apparently there was a lot more than we anticipated.

My heavy steps came to a sudden halt when a number of them had somehow surrounded us in the pitch black, leaving us with no kind of opening as we made out their figures. I aimed my gun to fire at the ones near, backing up simultaneously as they followed with every shot I gave, being drawn toward the noise. My breathing was heavy as I killed them off one by one, unaware of how much distance I was putting between me and the others. Just focusing on staying alive long enough to pinpoint them again.

Eventually once the last body fell to the ground, I whipped back to see if I could spot them, but instead I had completely lost sight of where they had gone. I listened carefully for any kind of indication of which direction they escaped, but I was only met with the sounds of my own heart racing, everything turning oddly quiet.

Though a sudden scream tore through the silence, causing me to immediately take off toward the noise. All I could think as I ran was the worst case scenario, not knowing if a walker had somehow gotten them, if they had ran into more trouble with strangers, or if someone just tripped. The possibilities were endless. But I slowed to a stop when I came across the victim, seeing Aaron pinned up against a tree as a walker was trying to grab him, pushing it away desperately with his feet while his hands were still tied.

I debated in my mind for a moment, wondering if I should just leave him to fend for himself after the stunt he just pulled moments ago. But my conscience managed to get the better of me in the end. I groaned to myself in frustration, jogging up the rest of the way to take out my knife and stab the walker in the head harshly. The moment I pulled my weapon back and the walker fell limp, his fearful eyes met my own, sputtering to try and say something. But I didn't give him the chance before I was turning him around forcefully.

"Don't make me regret this." I muttered before cutting the rope that held his wrists in a death grip, tearing it apart.

He turned back towards me and opened his mouth to speak, but the sound of gunshots from a distance cut him off and caught both of our attention, and I knew I had to follow them. "Run if you want, I don't give a shit anymore. I have better things to worry about."

"Wait." he called out just as I went to walk away, "We...we can make it together, but we can only make it together..."

I looked him over for a moment, "So, you're with me?" I asked genuinely.

He nodded shakily, seeming to be sure of himself. I gave him a nod in return, allowing myself to put my trust in him for once as I told him to keep up before we took off again. We ran side by side trying to pinpoint the noise of Glenn and Rick now calling my name and the gunfire that followed. Though it was difficult to find, everything feeling like it was bouncing off each other in every direction. But finally with the little once of luck we had left, the two of us managed to catch a glimpse of them fighting off the remaining lone walkers around the area.

I quickly ran up and aimed my weapon towards the few they hadn't gotten yet from behind, the sudden noise making the both of them whip around, relief washing over their features.

"You can tie me up again, but you have to hurry." Aaron said.

"No time." Rick grumbled, "We have to go."

We didn't need to be told twice, quickly making our way back toward the road to try and figure out where the beam of light originally came from. Rick mentioned that it was near the water tower, one that seemed to be further down the long and windy road. But none of us hesitated to pick up our pace down towards the giant thing sticking out high above the trees to find our people.

Once we were finally close enough to the structure, I began to follow the tire tracks that they had left behind. The thick black marks were only growing closer as I followed them through the small town that was nearly completely run down, tracking them all the way until we hit an alleyway. The RV was parked on the side, and I let out a single whistle, waiting for a response before any of us took another step closer through the dark and unfamiliar place.

Only seconds passed before we heard the same whistle tone calling right back to us, that being all we needed to hear to spring forward again, wanting to make sure they were all okay. The door to the bricked building right beside the RV flew open as everyone seemed to pile out at one time to make sure we were okay after the disaster that followed. I made a beeline toward Daryl the moment I spotted him, falling into his opened arms in exhaustion while letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"You alright?" he asked softly, kissing the side of my head.

I nodded slowly against his frame, "Yeah...yeah, I'm good."

I looked around to everyone else once we parted from each other, hugging whoever I could reach as I saw there wasn't a scratch on any of them. But I managed to catch out of the corner of my eye, Aaron quickly disappearing into the building they all came out of just moments ago. Like it was almost familiar to him.

I managed to sneak off and follow him hesitantly, the main space only being lit up by the moon just outside the windows, before seeing an orange light dispersing from the room around the corner. Peeking my head inside, my eyes widened as I saw Aaron fully making out with another man who was laying down on an old mattress, his foot wrapped up like he was injured. I subtly held my breath as I didn't want to intrude, obviously seeing the moment I was about to interrupt before slowly backing up to head back outside without a word.

Everyone's eyes snapped to me when the door creaked open, and I just shook my head. "We should give them a minute."

But Rick was fast to stalk up toward the door behind me, "No, let's not." he said before entering anyways despite my disguised protest.

I clicked my tongue in annoyance, "Okay." I muttered before turning to follow everyone else back inside the building.

We all piled into the small dim lit room just outside of where Rick vanished, waiting patiently as the group spread out to sit or lean against a nearby wall. Though it wasn't very long before the two men came back outside, Aaron looking more than grateful as he stared at all of us.

"Thank you." he said sincerely, "You saved Eric. I owe you, all of you. And I will make sure that debt is paid in full when we get to our community."

Oh yeah. Tell me why I completely forgot our whole agenda just because of a minor bump in the road.

"Now, I'm not sure about you but I'd rather not do any more driving tonight...maybe we can hit the road tomorrow morning." he continued.

"That sounds fine." Rick said from behind him, "But if we're staying the night here, you're sleeping over there." he pointed to a corner, far away from where Eric was staying.

Maggie stepped up, "You really think we gotta do that?"

"It's the safe play; we don't know you." Rick argued.

"The only way you're going to stop me from being with him right now is by shooting me." Aaron said, his eyes full of seriousness.

A small smirk played on my lips at his determination, but it quickly fell when I saw that Rick wasn't budging and was probably contemplating shooting him for real.

"Rick," my voice caught his attention, "Come on."

"You trust him?" he asked me.

I sighed before stepping a bit closer to close the gap between us so I could lower my voice, "They're both unarmed and one of them has a broken ankle. He's just worried about him...and I know I would be the same way if it were Daryl in there. Just take a breath."

He searched my eyes for any sign that I was unsure, "One man." I said simply, "Just like he said."

Rick exhaled heavily as he silently knew I was right; he was telling the truth from the very start. Why lie now? "Alright." he agreed, letting Aaron pass back into the room.

Everything then began to quiet down. The others managed to spread out among the small room, finding a good place to rest for the evening before we would be on the road again the first thing in the morning according to Rick. The night was peaceful. It was moments like these where I missed Beth the most, how she would sing a song that everyone fell absolutely in love with. Her soft voice echoing around the prison cells in the most beautiful way, leaving us all smiling. My back was leaning against the wall with my knees to my chest, as I fiddled with her bracelet on my wrist.

My fingers tugged at the material while my gaze was glued to the colorful yarn, only looking back up when I heard Daryl's familiar footsteps heading toward me. I smiled faintly, watching as he wordlessly handed me a bottle of water before taking a seat beside me.

I thanked him quietly and took a swing to quench my dry throat, before passing it right back to him, "What do ya think?" he asked.

I looked at him, "About what?"

"Bout the community...ya think it's as safe as it seems?" he spoke a bit hesitantly.

I shrugged, "I don't know...I hope it is. But that still doesn't mean we should completely trust it no matter how it looks. Looks can still be...deceiving."

"That's okay," he reassured, "Bein cautious is okay."

"I know..." I nodded, leaning my head back against the surface as I stared at him, "Just...know that whatever happens tomorrow...I'm still with you till the end."

A growing smile was brought to his face, nodding firmly in agreement, "You 'n me, baby." he promised in return, reaching down for my hand to leave a gentle kiss against my palm.

The following morning was nerve racking...dreadful. Leaving us on edge for what we were going to see walking into this unfamiliar place. Rick drove the small car once again, glancing down at the map every once and a while to be certain he was going the right way. My hands fidgeted anxiously in my lap once I knew we were getting closer, feeling Daryl gently intertwine our fingers to get me to calm down, even for just a moment. But he was nervous too; I could sense that clear as day even if he wouldn't admit it.

To be honest I didn't even know if he truly wanted to come here, at least not for himself. It felt as if his reasons for agreeing only matched my own, so everyone else could be protected. And nothing else mattered.

My attention was then drawn to the front as I felt Rick slow down the vehicle, seeing we had made it up to the front gates, rolling down his window to take a listen to the surroundings. I watched as his eyes shifted from stern and cold, to soft and hopeful at the sound of children laughing and people talking about behind the large walls before us. His demeanor instantly shifting.

He set a gentle hand on his son's shoulder from the passenger seat before looking back at us with the smallest of nods, shutting off the engine so we could all pile out. The remainder of the group slowly emerged from the RV as we all came to stand in front of the giant gated place before us, almost in disbelief that this somehow wasn't a dream. I chewed my lip anxiously, and automatically reached for Daryl's hand to give it a nervous squeeze.

Without taking his eyes off the gate, I felt him squeeze my hand back three times as I subtly held my breath in anticipation. All I could do in that moment was hope, which was something I thought we lost long ago. But maybe, just maybe, we didn't.

Maybe this was just the beginning.

~ Thanks for reading!

Taglist ~ @justareader95 @hayley1998 @ryoujoking @sipsthecoffee @winterassassin1804 @marsmallow433 @catlalice @writingstreetspirit @silentlysurffering98 @mystictf @remuslittlesister

[tapakah0]

[spaghett-onaplate]

depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

[seraphic-sibyl]

I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been

[ichigoofficial]

Quick reblog to say: I normally don't really talk about drama circulating games, as I ignore it most of the time. I JUST recently found out about all of this, so please take anything I say abt the drama with a grain of salt because I'm unsure what's true and what's not. This is only to give a quick rundown to people who are unaware of the situation. I'm also REALLY not that good at explaining things so keep that in mind as well.

(READ UNDER CUT!!!)

From what I've heard, apparently:

Zeal kept making homophobic / transphobic "jokes" (I think there was proof for this one?)

Zeal is / was friends with a pedophile (likely a rumor, there was no proof posted about this one)

Gianni is likely quitting his role of acting as Sebastian (Idk abt this either, but if it's true, I respect his choices.)

The shipping drama surrounding Zerum (Least of our concerns, didn't this just happen also?)

I'm pretty sure this is only some of the stuff surrounding the controversy at the moment. Once again, I'm most of the time not interested in controversial news nor do I use Twitter, so I apologize if I got anything wrong. I think there's other blogs who explained the situation better than I did, so try to check those out! With all of this happening so suddenly, I'm probably not really gonna post much Pressure content for awhile (Despite not really posting much to begin with.)

In the meantime, please don't buy ingame currency, merch, or avatar items as it can support the devs! Thanks for listening, and have a good day / night, Ichigo out!

(Edit: This post is all I'm going to say about the drama, as I really don't feel like involving myself in it!)

I'm abt to crash out over the Pressure drama...

First Dandy's World (Which I guess had gotten mostly dealt with already), now this?

It feels like we can't have cool stuff anymore without figuring out the creator(s) are BAD PEOPLE...

[sysig]

Red Eyes and Evil Time, practically the same thing right (Patreon)

[lieutenantselnia]

Yesterday I've been doing some proper physical exercise for the first time since last year and I'm just imagining how proud my f/os would be of me🥹

[atlasarcana]

hi, i'm still working on this, here's another snippet:

BECKE: Producing was the best job, in my opinion. The tweaking and the… the perfecting of something you’d already met in your mind days, weeks, or just moments prior. Rendering an illusion into reality. It was its own kind of magic.

GRIEVE: I liked producing too. I liked the bleepy and bloopy sounds. But if I’d try to touch something she was working on, she’d turn me into a sloth.

WIDOGAST: There was a sloth in the producing room sometimes. I still don’t know what that’s about.

BECKE: Of course, I couldn’t always have one job to myself. Bren would be over my shoulder every now and then. I knew he was just trying to learn, but I couldn’t help but feel possessive. I wanted to be seen as the one in the chair, the one making everything happen behind the scenes. The intelligent one. The mastermind. (She laughs.) We all know where this is headed.

WIDOGAST: I don’t blame her at all for wanting to be the producer. It was how you got the closest to Trent, and it was how he saw your work in an intimate, one-on-one setting. When we danced and sang, we were treated as a unit, but we weren’t being ranked when we helped produce. Our problem was that I wanted that approval too. I craved it like nothing else. So we were butting shoulders, thinking that it was about the music and the buttons and the lack of room, but we both knew it was never about that. It was always about him.

GRIEVE: The two of them were more into Trent than I was. I was getting worried as time went on that they were going to try to make him sign adoption papers. It was creepy. But I guess it helped with the band’s morale, to have that spirit of self-improvement. At least at the start.

IKITHON: It’s a tried-and-true fact that competition breeds good genes. In a music industry setting, that sort of competition serves to whet blades and hone skill. There’s a reason we hold so many music, sports, battle tournaments across Exandria. It’s a simulation of the natural order of things—just a little less fatal.

here’s a snippet! it’s a test-drive for the epistolary “interview” style of a shadowgast pop star au inspired by daisy jones & the six, hozier, prince, the corruption of the western music industry, so on and so forth. this may or may not be included in the actual fic!

ESSEK: The problem with the Empire understanding of the Dynastic music industry has less to do with personal prejudice and more to do with propaganda.

TRENT: I don’t believe that propaganda has much to do with it. Honestly, it has to do with the belief that rural and local fans in the Empire maintain about Dynastic standards of excellence. Which are based in fact.              It is an objective truth that the Dynasty has the most rigorous education and extracurricular programs on Wildemount. It is inarguable that music tutors originating from the Dynasty are the most sought-after in the world. Is it prejudiced to become wary about the promise of “equality” in the treatment of performing artists, when there’s such an obvious privilege afforded to those from select regions?             I think it’s perfectly rational to speculate that there are injustices going on. Non-elf races have to puddle around in their hundred-odd years of life to make something of themselves, while the hundreds of thousands of dark elves on the other side of the mountain range have been perfecting one style of lute-playing for the past 700 years. It’s hardly fair.

CALEB: Whoever said that humanoids could never catch up to the elves is a fool. Rigor has nothing to do with a spark. Rigor can polish, can curate a spark. But it cannot invent one. The desire to learn music can be found in everyone, but the desire to consume it, to reimagine it and distort it and create anew with it — that is a phenomenon afforded to the great few.               And I believe, as many in the disenfranchised parts of Empire do, that this sort of spark requires some stressor to ignite it. After all, you cannot create fire without friction or chemical reaction. You cannot have the light of great art without an input of peril. Humans and humanoids have been called ‘matchsticks’ before — but it is this very threat of burning out that ignites such passion and tenacity.

ESSEK: Of course there are benefits to being an elf. The time scale affords more practice. The culture of rigor in the Dynasty in particular lends to extremely high standards of excellence, as many say — that is true. Though I resent to believe that privilege has anything to do with to whom the award goes to at the end of the night. The only thing the judges need to concern themselves with is discrimination, and if the skill is consistently coming from one nation or the other… Well, there’s only way to go about it. 

INTERVIEWER: Which is? 

ESSEK: The objective way. Award whoever deserves the award, no matter from where. That’s skill, that’s rigor, that’s practice. Talent is a construct used to distribute the feeling of effortless success, but there’s no success without effort. I should know.

INTERVIEWER: Sure. But what about the point that Ikithon made?

ESSEK: [He chuckles.] What point?

[thebirdandhersong]

this would be torturous if it weren't so funny :)

[theflyingfeeling]

yes it's just me whining about the same thing for the billionth time, pls just scroll past nothing new to see here 👋