#//That when it finally DOES come to light; he’d practically laid bare before the other person
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dutybcrne · 4 months ago
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Most people would figure Kaeya to be a pretty crier, but in reality that’s either bc 1) He’s using crocodile tears to get what he wants or 2) he’s cut himself off before he ACTUALLY starts crying
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hxltic · 1 month ago
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Choso is a munch
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He wasn’t completely clueless about sex, how to do it, or the results—but there were still some deeper things he didn’t understand like the looks, the touches, and the sayings.
The looks before you both acted on your feelings where it seemed like the whole world would stop, leaving you two searching for answers as to why in each others eyes, knowing that your souls are connected in some way that was unable to be pinpointed until someone else explained it from an outside point of view.
Gradually, as his emotional intelligence grew and he knew when he was aroused and what would cause it, he did come to understand your eyes flickering up at him. Your eyelashes batting and your slight pout. He hadn’t known what you wanted at first. Now that he does, the signal is his brain catalyzes the thoughts that will ultimately swell the tent in his pants.
The touches, well, he didn’t understand why you would insist on pressing his knee against yours under the table. Or why you would brush his arm while you walk. But now, it’s all he wants. When you run your fingers through his hair, relieved from its rubber bands in the ponytails, he feels the most content. Or even when you drag your nails down his v-line. He now knows you do some things deliberately with an intended outcome in mind.
But the sayings were the worst because it took a while to get used to the slang. The first time you both were getting intimate, the sexual innuendos you were dropping hadn’t seemed to work, and you knew he wanted it too.
—•—
“Choso?” You call from your position comfortably laid atop his chest on the couch. Honestly, he didn’t even know you were still awake.
“Hmm?” He feels you shuffle around a bit before sitting up and facing him, criss cross with your hands fiddling in the middle. The man before you put down his book on the coffee table and awaited an answer.
His body language perception got better, because he could tell you were nervous. “I want you to fuck me.”
There’s a beat of silence. An almost imperceptible blush picked up his features in the darkness, and it takes you squinting to see him pushing a strand of his dark hair out of his face. You were getting antsy and impatient.
“You want me to…what?” He thinks he knows what you mean, but he wants to be sure.
You shift in your spot uncomfortably, the words feeling foreign coming from your mouth. “I want you to touch me. Sexually.”
Oh.
He finally understands what you mean. “Is that what this has been about?”
You sit up and turn to look at him. “So you haven’t been ignoring me?”
His brows furrow as if he’d ever do such a thing. “No?”
—•—
Ever since then, he doesn’t even need to hear you say you’re in the mood. When your eyes hang low and you just can’t seem to resist being near him or having his lips on yours, he knows immediately.
You’d just gotten home and he was fresh out of the shower. With a tired sigh, you drop off your keys by the door, kick off your heels, and make your way to his bedroom.
He’s on his way out the bathroom when you jump into his arms—not entirely surprising him since he first detected you with the pitter patter of your feet on the hardwood—and you wrap your legs around his torso so you’re clinging to his body. He walks you to the bed and lays you down gently onto your back.
“Bad day?” He asks quietly, grabbing a hair tie from his bedside table. He’d only had time to put on a pair of loose sweats before you’d ambushed him. His muscles slide and take their form when he puts his dark, slightly damp hair up and out of his face.
You sigh, staring up at the ceiling. “Yeah.”
He stalks back over to you, his natural tattoos on display.
With a practiced ease, he undoes a single button and slides your soft work pants down your legs. His fingers glide along your bare thighs, his touch light and purposeful when he hums in his naturally gentle tone.
“Tell me about it.”
And you do just that while he crouches, beginning your story with your irritating coworker. He hikes your legs up from under your knees, kissing them softly before pulling your panties off.
Talking about it riles you up, but he simultaneously calms you down, most of the time by rendering you unable to remember what you were going to say next.
“A-And she,” you breathe, squirming and lifting your head to see him nose deep in your folds. He tilts his head to a 45 degree angle as he swirls his tongue through you, only pulling away just a bit to suggest that you keep speaking.
His arms surround your thighs the further he digs in. Despite advising you to talk some more, he does the one thing keeping you from doing so with double the effort while groaning deeply, as if he was aware of the juxtapose situation he’s got you in. The sound reverberates through your core.
Your hands come to glide gently through his loosely contained hair while you praise him, “Ughh, t-that’s so good, Cho.”
He calmly continues his ministrations, only pulling one hand off to palm himself through the fabric of his sweats.
When the friction isn’t enough he stands completely against the bed, his fingers tight around your ankles. You don’t have to uncomfortably lift your head to see his dark, furrowed brows as he concentrates on how you taste; you don’t have to focus to hear the sloppy sounds his mouth involuntarily creates; and you don’t have to fight it to know that there was no way to get out of this folded position if you tried.
Your knees were by your ears while his groin had to be at the edge of the bed. It wasn’t enough to soothe the heat swimming through his body, not nearly enough, not even when he catches himself grinding his hips forward.
Choso knows you love when his chin glistens with your slick, and he doesn’t mind. Honestly, he doesn’t mind anything. It’s all nothing to him.
The first time you did this—the first time he ate you out, you warned that it wouldn’t be strawberries and rainbows. He shrugged in response, even though you didn’t believe him. You do now.
Or the time you had to grab his hair and move his head back and forth. He just let you, and if you say so yourself, he enjoyed it.
It gets to a point where you can’t keep still. He holds your body down and chuckles with his glossy lips that shine if you look at them a certain way. “Why are you running from me?”
You’ve passed all the innocuous stages in the relationship. He can use his innocence against you now, so he shines a “shy,” crooked smile, not bothering to wait for your answer as he scoots you back down to him.
“Y-You…” you attempt, your head falling back down to the mattress. He just chuckles deeply, deciding to ignore how uncomfortably you’re contorted on the bed.
“Don’t mind me. I’m just helping you relax,” he mutters knowingly, taking two of his fingers and spreading your folds apart for himself. He licks an intricate path upwards. “You want to beat her ass, because…?”
“Fuck.” You shut your eyes. “I can’t…not like this.”
He perks up when he decides to stop teasing, tilting his head slightly. His hair is now practically spilling out of the tie. “Not like this?”
And you feel a little guilty because you’re sure he thinks he is doing something wrong, but it’s hard to focus on a growing orgasm when you’re practically upside down, losing blood. You’re already out of it, you were definitely going to pass out. You shake your head and twist to your stomach with relief, sighing.
He comes from behind with a gentle hand on your hip. “Are you alright?”
You nod weakly, gathering your thoughts and leveling the throb in your core.
“Great.” He replies monotonously, using both hands to tug your hips up as he bends down, his elbows dug in the sheets, resuming with his actions.
a little something just to get me back into writing :’)
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©️ hxltic
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forever-rogue · 3 years ago
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His + Hers
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Summary | You didn’t want a bodyguard and certainly didn’t need one. Bucky didn’t want the job. But as soon as the two of you meet, all bets are off.
Pairing | Bucky x Fem!Reader
Word Count | 4.2k
Warnings | language (including light degradation, possessive!Bucky, smut (oral - f receiving, piv) - minors dni or you will be blocked
Masterlists | Bucky, Main
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“I don’t need anyone to watch over me,” rolled eyes and loudly snapped gum. Crossed legs and an anxiously jiggling foot. The aging clock ticked loudly as your gaze burned into the giant dual monitors that shielded the man on the other side. He had just oh so casually dropped some horrible news to you. 
What was his name? Jeff? Jeffrey? Jefferson? It didn’t matter. Funny. For a man that you’d seen more often than your father in recent years, you’d think you might have remembered his name. Despite all that you still hadn’t seen him more than four, save five, times.
“Those are your father’s wishes.”
“Then why isn’t he here telling me this?”
“He’s a very busy man.”
“A man too busy to see own daughter, his own child, always work, work, working,” you spat, “what he could be doing that’s so important that he couldn’t even spare me fifteen minutes of his time?”
“He’s-”
“It was a rhetorical question,” you stood up and grabbed your bag, “sometimes it still shocks me that a man that claims he loves me so much he barely speaks to me, sees me. I don’t want this bodyguard - if you send them to me I will simply send them away. Don’t waste my time or theirs.”
“Your father is going to send someone regardless of your wishes, you must know this by now.”
“Tell him if he’s so insistent upon me being chaperoned like a puppy that he can come and talk to me himself,” you threw your shoulders back as you tried to chase away emotions or feelings. This was not the time or place for them, “see you in another six months for so.”
“Miss -”
You slammed the door shut before he could say anything else. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“This is fuckin’ ridiculous,” Bucky’s groan was heavy - irritated - as he trudged up the stairs to the ninth freaking floor. Of course you couldn’t live somewhere near the bottom. Of course the elevator was broken, “I’m gonna murder you, Wilson.”
Inhaling and exhaling slowly, he calmed himself with every single step. Left foot, right foot, and repeat. Before he knew it, he arrived on your floor, less angry but still annoyed. 
Bucky looked around for your apartment number, finding it quickly but wishing he hadn't. It was supposed to be a simple job - hang around you for a little while until things calmed down around your father. There was never any huge threat to you, but you were to be kept safe anyway. Typical rich people, he practically rolled his eyes. Complete idiot, he sighed at himself. He could have walked away from the gig easily, but things had been quiet after everything in New York and he needed something fresh. Naturally he’d say yes to this when Sam mentioned the job to him. 
Once he found your apartment he slowly trudged through the hall, his mind all but made up about you already. You were going to be nothing more than a spoiled little brat. He looked at the golden number above your door and sighed heavily before knocking loudly. 
For a few moments, nothing but silence met his ears before he finally heard what he was sure was annoyed grumbling inside accompanied by soft footsteps. The door was whipped open and Bucky came face to face with you. 
Your brows knitted together as you studied him before crossing your arms over your chest, “can I help you?”
“James Barnes,” his name practically came out as a sigh. You raised your eyebrows at him but remained silent.
“And?” you asked as you moved to close the door, “I’m in the middle of my fifth zoom meeting of the day and annoyed and hungry. Thanks for wasting my time. Have a fantastic day.”
Before you could slam the door in his face, Bucky stuck his foot in the doorway and prevented you from closing it. A huff escaped your lips as you glared at him through the crack, “your father sent me. I’m supposed to look after you.”
“Ahh yes,” you rolled your eyes and frowned, “the baby-sitter my father hired. I told him and his assistant that I don’t want - or need - anything to watch me. I’m fine. So if you don’t mind you can leave. I’m busy and don’t have time to deal with you.”
“You don’t pay me sweetheart,” he scoffed lightly as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. You wanted a challenge? He’d give you one, “and as long as that’s the case, I stay.”
“I’ll double whatever he paid you.”
“Oh honey, I doubt you could ever afford that.”
“What can I do to get you to leave?”
“Nothing.”
“It really doesn’t seem like you want to be here either so why don’t we both do ourselves a favor and cut the shit?”
“Not until your father tells me it’s okay to leave,” he smirked, “I don’t take orders from little girls, sweetheart. Nor do you pay my bills.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“And you’re a bitch,” your mouth opened into a little pout as you attempted to shut the door on his foot, “you can shut the door, it won’t hurt me. I’ll just tear it down if I have to.”
“Are you serious?!”
“Want to find out?” he asked as you threw your head back and sighed at the ceiling. Yes and no. You wanted to push his buttons and see how far you could press. But you also didn’t have the energy to deal with it. Instead you slowly, ever so reluctantly opened the door, refusing to move but motioning for him to come in. He practically sauntered in with a victorious little smirk on his lips, “good girl.”
You were to let him have it when he turned around to face you and finally got the chance to study him. And your jaw almost hit the floor. Fuck. 
He was handsome - dark hair and the bluest eyes you’d ever seen with a five o’clock shadow. He was dressed in very well fitting jeans, along with a henley and leather jacket. So casual but he managed to make it look so good. For a moment you thought he looked familiar but you couldn’t quite place. Maybe you’d seen him around somewhere. 
Well, this presented a whole new predicament. This would have been so much easier if he hadn’t been one of the most gorgeous men you’d laid eyes on.
“Like what you see?” 
“I’m not into old men,” you cocked your head to the side and watched him with a smirk. Bucky almost tripped up and let an emotion slip but instead he remained pointedly neutral as he looked you up and down. 
It would have been easier to dislike and hate you entirely if you weren’t so damn cute. You were dressed in a comfy, oversized sweater and joggers and big fuzzy socks - casual and cute but effortlessly so. It was a challenge not to stare. 
“Whatever you say,” he held up his hands in mock defeat as you became momentarily placated, “what’s the plan for today?”
“I have a job and things to do,” you huffed as you pushed past him, “so just do something or whatever and stay out of my way. If you insist on being here.”
“I do.”
“This is going to be fucking hell, isn’t it?”
“It can be whatever you want, sweetheart.”
“Don’t call me sweetheart!”
“Sure thing, doll.”
"I hate you already.”
“The feelings’ mutual, honey.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Hating Bucky was a full time job. Bucky having to chaperone you through all of your shenanigans was a full time job. Both of you were incredibly stubborn and damn near made the job impossible. 
You'd be lying if it said he wasn't attractive and that you hadn't thought about him. Especially late at night. Alone in bed. But you'd rather die than admit that to him. 
Bucky had a feeling he'd break you down eventually; not that he expected anything to come of it. He enjoyed flirting with you and watching you get frazzled and nervous. But you weren't his type. Nuh uh - Bucky Barnes wasn't into pretty little spoiled brats. Even if they weren't attractive and smart and genuinely kind underneath it all. 
That wasn't part of the job. Which was why he never let it go past anything that could be deemed as flirtatious.
Just as he vowed to break you down and just admit you liked him, you might have had a little goal of your own…
"Come on," Bucky sighed as he paced around your living room, waiting for you to come out of the bedroom so you could pizza and watch movies. It had become somewhat of a Friday night tradition, reluctantly so. It was hard to get out and have a lot of fun when you had a silent, intimidating brooding man following you around, "how long does it take to change?"
"Shut up," you rolled your eyes as you opened your bedroom door and stepped out, slipping on your heels, "I'm ready."
Bucky's eyes widened as he looked you over. You were wearing a little black dress and fuck me heels along with ruby red lips and a full face of makeup. He fought back a little growl as you smirked at him, "what the fuck are you wearing?"
"Its called a dress, genius."
"To get pizza so we can come back and watch movies?"
"That's not the plan," you straightened up and walked past him, grabbing your purse and jacket.
"You said-"
"I lied," you stated the obvious, "I'm going out to finally have some fun. Without you."
"I'm coming with you," he crossed his arms over his broad chest as you tried not to stare, "that's the job, sweetheart."
"And I'd like to actually have fun and get laid," you threw your hands up, "its hard to do that with you breathing down my neck constantly! If you insist, can you at least like stay ten feet away. Give me a fucking break."
His breath had hitched in his throat as soon as he heard the words get laid and he worked to keep it together. He sighed as he forced himself not to imagine you underneath, naked and begging for more. 
"Fine," he agreed reluctantly, "ten feet only."
"Thank fuck."
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
One drink had turned into two which easily turned into three and after that you’d both lost count. Bucky had been sitting at the bar, a singular, but arbitrary drink in his hand as he watched you get progressively looser as the evening wore on. His steely gaze almost never left yours as he watched you chat up people around you. You were naturally extroverted, and definitely a flirt - but then again maybe that was the alcohol - and it wore Bucky out trying to keep an eye on you. He wasn’t terribly concerned about what was going on, but still, he was a man that took his job seriously.
It wasn’t until he decided that it was fine to let you out of his sight for a few moments only to turn back and found you missing. A growl bubbled up in his throat as he scanned the tightly packed pace and found you in the middle of the dance floor. You were pressed against a man that had been eyeing you up since you’d gotten there, mouths smashed together as you kissed him like your life depended on it. Your arms were wrapped around his neck and his hands were on your ass the entire time.  
As soon as you ground up against him, something in Bucky snapped. He threw back the rest of his drink and quickly made his way over to you. The people in his path parted like the seas when they noticed the predatory expression in his eyes. Before you could even realize what had happened, you felt a hand tightly squeeze your shoulder. A gasp left your lips as Bucky pulled you away from your newfound friend.
“What the fuck!” you glared at him as the man that just had his hands all over you grew visibly nervous. Bucky grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him close, “Bucky!”
“Keep your filthy fuckin’ hands off of her, you understand?” he growled at the man as he just nodded, “I ever see you near her again and you’re dead. You leave my girl alone.”
Bucky shoved him away and the man practically skittered across the bar and out the door without so much as a single glance back. Breathing angrily, he turned around to find you staring at him in awe, arms over your chest. You were suddenly incredibly sober, “what the hell was that? I’m not your fucking girl, Bucky.”
“We’re going home. Now,” he reached for your hand and held your wrist in a tight grip as he dragged you without another word. You wanted to argue with him and fight back, but there was something about his possessive nature that had sent a shiver down your spine and a rush of warmth to your core as you let him pull you along like a ragdoll. 
Maybe your dangerous little plan was finally going to turn into reality.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Are you going to finally tell me what’s going on?” you asked as you walked back into your apartment, trailing after Bucky and slamming the door shut, “you chased off my only chance of-”
Before you could say anything else, Bucky’s hands found your waist and he crashed his lips onto yours in a bruising tangle of tongue and teeth. You responded with a surprised moan as he backed you up against the wall, making sure you didn’t hit your head. 
“He’s a fuckin’ boy,” he insisted as he lightly gripped your throat, causing you to part your lips as you fought back a moan, “he wouldn’t have made you cum. Probably doesn’t even know where your pretty little clit is.”
“And you would?” you challenged, already knowing exactly where this was leading. Something in your mind told you that this was wrong and you should have stopped it, but the larger part of you really just wanted him. It wasn’t like you hadn’t thought about it for weeks and weeks now, touching yourself late at night to the thought of him. Bucky smiled at you - a dangerous, toothy, wicked thing causing you to swallow thickly, “I don’t think you could. You’re all talk, Bucky. Probably haven’t even been laid since the 40s.”
“Don’t act like you don’t want this too, sweetheart,” he whispered in your ear before trailing kisses along your jaw and down your neck, nipping and sucking at the delicate skin, making it a point to mark you up. That way everyone would know you were his. He rutted his lips lightly against yours, and you could already feel how hard he was, “I see the way you look at me - I know you’ve thought about me. Probably touched that pretty pussy of yours and wished it was my cock, huh little girl?”
“Bucky,” his name was nothing more than a whimper of your lips as you tried to reach down and touch yourself. He was quick to grab your hand and pull it away. You whimpered as he just chuckled darkly. Oh, how easily he could break you down with just a few words, “please. Need you.”
“I’ll give you what you need,” he swore as he watched you with hungry eyes. He shimmied up your dress and moved to touch you. His smirk only grew when he noticed you’d forgone panties, “look at you, such a little slut. You didn’t even put on panties? You really wanted this, didn’t you? Were you just hoping I’d touch you? I bet you had this whole thing planned out - just wanted me to fuck you, didn’t you?”
You looked at him with wide doe eyes but remained silent as you tried to play coy. But he was having none of it, and grabbing your jaw, “answer me.”
“Mhmm..,just want you,” you admitted as he slowly let go before grabbing both of your wrists in his vibranium hand and pinning them above your head, “just touch me.”
And he did - slowly, he dragged his fingers through your folds, smirking at how wet you already were, “oh honey, you’re practically dripping. So wet already, and I’ve barely even touched you. Such a good little slut.”
Your eyes fluttered closed at the feeling of him circling your clit slowly before feeling your soaked folds and sliding a thick finger inside. A small sound of surprise reached his ears as you almost rutted into his hand and he easily slid another finger in. The stretch from his fingers was enough to spark the warmth in your belly as you bit your lip to keep from whining. 
“Look at you, such a needy little thing,” you could hear the smirk in his voice as he fucked with his fingers, “but you’re not going to cum on my fingers. I’m going to see if you taste as sweet as you look. Gonna make ruin that pussy for anyone else. You’re mine - you understand?”
“‘m yours,” you whimpered as he let go of your hands and slowly sank to his knees in front of you. His large hands, a contrast of warm and cool, splayed on your thighs before slowly traveling up to your hips and grabbing them in a bruising grasp. This man was really working to make sure he would remain all over you. He pressed a few kisses to your thighs before stopping at your mound, and you could feel his warm breath fanning across on your pussy, “please.”
“That’s right, you can be a good girl,” he didn’t even hesitate for a moment before diving in and licking a stripe up your folds, causing sparks to shoot throughout your spine. You could feel him smirking against you at the immediate effect he had as he ate you out like a man starving. 
Bucky Barnes was not a shy man when it came to eating pussy. He licked and suckled on your clit as he let two of his cool vibranium fingers slide into your pussy. He crooked them just right, effortlessly finding your g-spot as your knees threatened to buckle. No one man had ever made you feel this good before, nor so easily. 
“F-fuck,” you hissed as he pulled back and look at the blissed out expression on your face, “more please.”
“Look at you pretty little thing,” he grinned as he pressed a few wet, sloppy kisses to your mound. He pulled his fingers from you before reaching up and practically ripping your dress off. If you’d hadn’t been so close to cumming, you would have yelled at him, but in the moment you didn’t care. Especially not as his hands found your breasts and massaged them before he played with your pert nipples, causing you to arch into his touch, “not wearing a bra either. You are bad.”
“‘m so close,” you whined as he just smirked at you. Before you could say anything else he slapped your pussy, causing you to jump slightly before you keened into his touch, silently asking for more. 
“You like that, honey?” he teased as you nodded with closed eyes, your mouth forming a small o. He repeated the motion before he grabbed your ass and buried his face back into your pussy. You moaned into his touch, bucking your hips against his mouth as he made all the most sinful noises as he ate you out like his life depended it on. He worked pure magic with only his tongue and he soon had you seeing stars as your legs started to shake around him. He anchored you to him and kept you from falling down as he brought on your orgasm, “that’s it honey. You’re going to cum all over my face, going to taste all that pretty pussy has to offer.” 
“F-f-fuck,” you reached down and carded a hand through his dark hair as you held him against you, “jesus.”
“Cum for me,” he commanded and you did just as you were told, crying out his name like a prayer as you felt your release wash over you. Bucky stayed between your legs as you came all over him, cleaning up every little bit you had, not stopping until you were begging him to stop from the over stimulation, “tastes like fuckin’ candy. Best pussy I ever tasted.” 
“Jesus,” your chest was heaving as he kissed his way up your body. He stopped at your lips and offered you a victorious little smirk, “you’re an asshole but at least you know how to eat pussy.”
He grabbed your chin in his hand and forced you to look at him, “you’re mine - this pussy is mine and no one else’s, you understand, little brat?”
“Ruin me then,” you raised your eyebrows before you kissed him again, trying to beat him at his own little game. But it was no use - he was easily more dominant and held control over you, “make me yours.”
“Turn around,” he growled as he flipped you in his arms and pressed you against the wall. You moaned as his hands mapped out every curve of your body before you felt the sharp sting of his hand on your ass. Just to spur him on a little more, you bounced your ass and he slapped you a few more times before massaging your skin to soothe the pain, “you like it when it hurts. God, you’re perfect. My little slut.”
“Please fuck me. Need you so bad,” you practically whined but quickly grinned when you heard him undo his belt and pants before he pulled his cock out.  He groaned in your ear as you heard him stroke himself a few times.
“‘m so fucking hard, baby,” he ran the tip of his cock through your folds and you could already feel how big he was, “got me leakin’ already. Thought about you and that smart little mouth so many times. Always cum so hard when I think about you. Can’t wait to see how good this pussy feels squeezing my cock. You’re going to take all of me, little thing.”
He coated his length with your arousal - you were already so wet again - before slapping his cock against your ass. You tried to reach around so you could touch him but he slapped your hand out of the way. 
“Put your cock in me,” you practically begged and before you could say anything else, he plunged into you, causing you to practically scream in surprise. He didn’t stop until he was fully sheathed inside of you, feeling like he was practically splitting you apart. The burn quickly faded away as you moaned and clenched your walls around him, “fuck, you’re so big.”
“Did you expect anything else, pretty baby?” he whispered in your ear before grabbing your hips again. He slowly pulled out almost all the way before thrusting back into you with no warning. You clawed at the wall as he set a brutal pace, slamming his hips into yours over and over again, letting you have almost no room to breath. The only sounds that left your lips were small whimpers and mewls he fucked you to an inch of your life. 
You felt the coolness of the vibranium snake around your body before he found your clit. You let him press you against the wall as he pounded into you, and you quickly left your second orgasm start to bubble up in your tummy. 
“Taking my cock so well,” he praised as he slowly played with your clit. He was not shy about being loud and moaning, all while murmuring filthy praise into your ear, “so tight - so perfect. This pussy was made for me.”
“More,” you begged in between breaths, “harder, please.”
“You want it harder, pretty baby? You’re not gonna be walkin’ after this,” he smirked before he picked the pace and fucked you even harder than before, which you hadn’t even thought possible, “good girl. Good fuckin’ girl. Gonna cum all over my cock?”
“Mhmm,” you agreed with a wistful smile, a fucked out expression on your face as you felt his cock twitch inside of you as your walls started to clench around him, “please, please, please.”
“Gonna fill you up,” he said through gritted teeth as he slowed his thrusts, making them slower and deeper than before, “gonna make sure you know who you belong to.”
It was a few more thrusts before you came again, crying out as the pleasure rippled through your body. Bucky came quickly after, grunting as he came inside of you, filling you up with hot ropes of his cum. He fucked you through it all, not stopping until you were feeling boneless and he had filled you with every last drop. 
He easily caught you just as you were about to collapse in his arms and pulled you against his chest as he pressed a few kisses to your shoulder. You reached behind you and carded a hand through his arm, scratched at his scalp as he continued to kiss your neck and shoulder.
“Fuck, Bucky,” you said as you tried to catch your breath, “that was incredible.”
“I told you I’d ruin every other man for you,” he slowly pulled out and turned you around so you were facing him. You put a hand under your chin and turned your face up to his, “you’re mine.”
“I’m your girl,” it was like music to his ears as you reached between your thighs and swiped his cum mixed with your arousal up and sucked it clean off your finger, “my pussy is yours and your cock is mine.”
“Good girl, “ he praised with a wicked smile, “now get on your knees and put that pretty mouth to use.”
“Yes sir.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
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aetheternity · 3 years ago
Text
So sweet, just for me
Synopsis: Just some stories where reader takes care of Virgin! Armin.
Disclaimer: Unprotected sex, blowjobs, Sub Armin and sexually experienced Y/N are all present in this. Minors exit now.
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☆☆Just Summer Things☆☆
Sweat coursed down the expanse of every inch of your body. Or maybe it was water you weren't really sure. A set of carefully trimmed nails shivered and shook beside your head, digging into the grimy tree bark. Locks of sun kissed blonde hair stuck to parts of your neck, face and collarbone as you coaxed Armin's breathing down. Forehead resting uncomfortably against the bark and your ass firmly seated against his hips.
"How do you feel sweet boy?"
"I-I.." He panted, pulling his face back a little. Blue doe eyes full of lust and the sweet shine of tears.
His cock currently pressed delicately against your g-spot during what started out as a normal water balloon fight. Between the boys and the girls of course. You guys had all come out during late afternoon, Sasha and Connie started tossing water balloons and teams formed accordingly.
At some point you'd run off to what you thought was a safe zone only to find Armin perched in the bushes. Contemplation etched into his soft features.
"Move slowly ok." You encourage. You were surprised by how big he was sure but the warning was more so this could last for a while.
He nodded where you were still holding the back of his head. His nails cautiously unlatching from the tree moving instead to sink into the fat of your hips while at the same time his once snugly nestled cock began to move. The sweet drag forcing your toes to curl and your eyes to shut. A small exhale cresting off your lips.
A breathy moan fell from his trembling lips as he pulls you in closer. Wrapping his arms around your waist and squeezing around you like a lifeline.
You'd met Armin only two years ago through Jean and continued to crush on him for the entirety of those two years. Until today when he'd admitted to you that he was a little ashamed of being a virgin while consistently having to listen to Eren, Connie and Jean's conquests.
You told him they were probably lying about at least half of those stories but it only got you a small smile. So you decided to do him one better and offer to take his virginity.
It wasn't selfish. It was a win win. He would receive a conquest story to tell and you would get what you'd been craving since you'd first seen him in Jean's apartment shirtless and trying to help fix the messed up drain.
"Feels good?" You chuckle huskily
"Oh my God.." He huffs into your skin. 
His hips worked themselves up a little faster. A slightly clumsy pace forming but he was new at this so you weren't mad.
"Armin slow down baby, I don't want you to get ahead of yourself."
"I-i'm sorry.. j-ust feels amazing.."
One of his hands hesitantly snaked up your shirt. Skittish in the way he palmed at your breast. Though he quickly eased up when you replied to the affection with a little mewl.  
It felt surprisingly amazing for you as well. Considering the situation and the fact that Armin had never done this with anyone. This really was his first time.. What a weird thing to tell people. My first time was at a water balloon fight against a tree.
You hummed when the pleasure started to sit in your stomach. Legs trembling a bit as he pumped inside you a little faster. Any other time you would've just thrown your head back and relaxed, especially since his dick was so perfectly filling right now but-
"Armin, slow down." Your breathing was a little raspy.
He replied with a whimpery moan, thighs shaking against your sides. You reached an arm around grabbing his hips with your hand to slow them. It seemed to catch his attention because those soft doe eyes were wide.
"You'll get to cum baby I promise you, ease up a bit it's not a race." He nodded in affirmation and you smiled warmly.
Silk strands warm under your guided fingers as he pulled all the way out and slowly eased back in. A collective united moan exiting both your mouths. You'd shut your eyes but they worked themselves back open at the almost unnoticeable twitch of his cock head.
Your favorite part.
"Mm baby so close.." You whisper, your lip coming to tuck itself under your teeth.
A small chorus of yes's and little gasps fall from his open mouth. His skin somehow easing out of tomato red and into surface of the sun red.
You pull him close making sure his eyes were open. "I need you to cum for me ok? But make sure no one hears you." You say, and fuck is it gorgeous watching him come undone. Just like you'd imagined so many times before.
The tears once welling in his eyes spilled over like a faucet. Choked moans and harsh gasps worked their way off his lips. One of his hands flew back up to the tree where his nails soon dug the bark clean off. His hips stuttering through his entire orgasm. You were almost worried when his climax ended. The way he went silent except for his wild breathing.
"Armin?"
"Fuck.." He sighed
You couldn't help but giggle. "How was your first time?"
He gasps and rolls his eyes still stuck in euphoria. When he pulls out you take the opportunity to turn around. Working your panties up over your hips and pulling your fluttery skirt back down.
"Please, please let me do that again sometime.." He huffs finally managing words. You bring his lips to yours in a chaste kiss that honestly doesn't last long enough for you.
"Only if you promise to stay my good boy." You reply pulling his shorts up till they rest comfortably on his hips.
"I promise." He remarks, almost too eager. "Oh! Wait you didn't get to c-"
"Hey, where did you guys go?" Armin practically separates from his skin as Connie and Jean round the corner. Water guns tucked in their grasp.
"When did you guys get those?" You asked nonchalantly.
Jean shrugged, "We made the game more interesting."
Connie shook his head running back around the corner as Sasha's battle cry sounded.
"Hurry and get back we need you out there Armin." And with that Jean was gone too.
You picked up Armin's discarded water balloon, placing it in his open palm. "See you out there, lover boy."
☆☆Showing Armin how to do Yoga☆☆
"Why's Armin coming over here so early again?" Sasha asked rolling over onto her side. The bag of cotton candy once perched on her thighs flopping over and nearly spilling its contents.
"To do Yoga!" You replied with a laugh sitting the bag upright next to her.
She groaned dramatically. "But it's six thirty am on a Saturday."
"No one told you to get up with me." You remark, pushing the coffee table to the edge of the room.
She holds her once displaced bag up for you to see. "It was calling out to me." She sighs, hugging it to her chest.
A knock on the door takes your concentration. As you pull it open you call back to her, "Well since you're up, you might as well join us."
"Nope!" She quickly scurries away with a wave of her hand. Cotton candy stuffed under her arm.
You shut the door behind Armin as he stares down the hall that Sasha had disappeared down. Your grin is bright almost devilish as it slowly spreads across your face.
"Seems like it's just the two of us." You mutter, loud enough for him to hear.
You watch as he thickly gulps with a nod. Bite able Adam's apple bouncing but you pretend you don't notice. Your mat is already laid out on the floor but you can't stop yourself from bending over to smooth out the corners. Barely paying attention to Armin until you hear a small cough or maybe him choking it's not very clear.
He's holding his mat in his arms defensively across his chest. Silk strands of blond hair fluttering when he blinks. His cheeks a beautifully vibrant pink.
"I-I wanted to th-thank you.." He says, blue eyes trained where they stared at your mat. "For.. the- um.." He gestures and you can't help but giggle.
"The sex?"
Now his eyes find you. Blown wide as his pink lips part over a word that never succeeds in leaving his mouth. Your feet pat over the floor as you close the distance between the two of you. His cheeks warm under your delicate grasp and you hold his face almost as though you're sure he'll shatter.
"You're so cute, please never change."
You're almost scared it sounds condescending but the soft rosy color trudging up to the tips of Armin's ears says he doesn't agree.
You turn back to your mat with a smile but just before you sit on it you add, "And you never have to thank me for sex, I'd do it with you anytime."
He nods once as if responding to you and then twice as if he's confirming that you did indeed say what he heard. The soft plap of his mat on the floor reminding you of what you were both here for.
"Ok, let's begin then." You take a deep breath, adjusting the scrunchie holding your hair in place. "First we wanna stretch alright, so I just need you to reach up above your head with both hands and reposition your feet."
You demonstrate using yourself and Armin awkwardly copies. Slender fingers curling towards the sky as he slowly relaxes his shoulders. You can't help but let your mind wander a little as a glint of light flickers off the steel rings decorating three of his gorgeous digits.
You had fingered yourself last time the two of you were together and now you were craving him. Wondering what the warmth of just one of those inside you would feel like.
"Spread your legs more." You encourage, meanwhile it nearly has Armin doubling back. "Dirty boy." You tease
You stand in front of him gently kicking his legs apart. Easy enough. And he responds to every bit of your touch like he craved you too.
And well you wanna tell yourself that you had actually had completely innocent intentions when you'd invited Armin over here today. He genuinely had never done Yoga before and you knew Sasha was gonna be here. So yeah, you'd love to say you wanted nothing but to relax Armin in this encounter.
But you couldn't even keep a straight face while thinking it.
"Can you bend your knees a little?" He squats, carefully coming back up. Arms reaching out on both sides as you coaxed him. "A little lower sweetie." You say as his ass hovers inches over the mat.
And oh to be the mat.
You step back until you're completely back on your mat. "I'm sure your arms are tired, you can put them down now." You wave him off and he lets out a smooth exhale. "Feel relaxed yet?"
"A little." He replies with a confident smile.
"Then you're ready for the next part." You clap "I need you to bend over and touch your toes alright."
He shuts his eyes, pretty lips parting over your choice of words. What you wouldn’t give right at this second to be a mind reader. His back arches, ankles locking together as you demonstrated. "Good, good boy. Back straight." You sink your thumb into his black athletic shirt to touch his spine. And he hardens with your touch. "Don't be shy, it's just me." You mutter, breath heavy.
Fuck! Touching his back muscles this up close and personal made you wanna sink your nails into them. Leave lines up and down his soft supple skin as a mark that you'd always be his first. No one else would ever get that privilege. 
"I-I.."
Shit.
"Ok, you can stand."
You pretend not to notice the way he shifts his sweats as he stands. This time you vow to actually stay on your mat.
"You should know this position." Your legs spread on one end of the mat while your hands came down to lay flat near the opposite end. "Try it."
Carefully he gets into the position you're currently doing but not without peaking at your figure. His blond hair dipping towards the mat and you can't help but smile at how cute he looks.
"Now we're gonna slowly curve our bodies down until our pelvis touches the floor." You say, head curving up toward the ceiling. For once Armin has immediate trouble, hips dangling weirdly over the ground. His arms trying and failing to steady himself.
"What's the matter? Wanna try a different position?"
"N-no it's nothing.."
You plop down on your mat, crossing your legs and gesturing for him to do the same and even without his reluctance you already know what's wrong. He slowly but surely rotates his hips, spreading his legs. His hardened dick print on full display.
You don't even try to hide the slow slither of your tongue wetting your lips. You quickly turn your head before crawling your way over to a very very flushed Armin. Sweat glistening perfectly over his pale skin.
"W-wait Sasha!" He panics, his arms flailing a bit as he backs up slightly.
"Shh it's ok, she definitely fell back asleep the second she went back in her room." You reply crawling towards him again.
"But you know I c-can't keep q-uiet. Wh-what if she h-hears!"
Your hands inched past his now loosened sweats to gently squeeze his hardened cock through his boxers. Both his hands flew to his mouth giving you a new gorgeous view of those pretty rings.
His eyes roll unfocused with every sweet glide of your hand. Tears already starting to brim along the edges of his warm eyes.
“Do you always wear those rings for physical activities or is it just for me?” 
“I-I just forgot to take them off..” 
“Did you?” You can tell your smile is shitty. Just from the way his eyes dart away from yours "You've never been blown either have you?" You ask getting back on topic.
"N-no." It's a muffled response but it hits your ears loud and clear.
"Another story for the growing journal then." You tease
You honestly can't help yourself. Lips curving and confining his tip like a vise. Precum salty where it stains your tongue. His gasp bouncing off the wall so elegantly. So fucking perfect. But even though Sasha is a heavy sleeper you were still worried she'd wake up before you finished.
So as much as you wanted to tease.
"Can I pull these down baby? I know your dick wants some relief."
He complies, oddly quickly. And you pull his sweats and boxers down just enough to hug the tops of his thighs. 
And his dick is gorgeous. You hadn't actually seen it before but fuck was it pretty, standing tall and leaking before you.
You inch forward spit dribbling from your lips to be collected in the hand that was working his slender shaft. It had Armin's hips bucking up to greet you. His sweet whines egging you on.
And slowly but surely.... "Oh my fucking god."
It was an adjustment. Not as smooth as you would've liked because of the weird angle but you'd taken a little more than half of his dick in your mouth. A mildly painful fit made up for by the angelic cries of Armin just above you.
"Pl-please.. oh God please.."
He couldn't tell what he wanted to hold, hands shifting to the top of your head, the floor and his rolled up sweats all in less than a minute. You swore you could hear his heartbeat through his chest every time you swallowed his cock again.
You wanted to speed ahead so bad, see him just as flustered as he had been last week when he had his cock buried deep inside your pussy but it was obvious he wasn't going to last long either way.
Disorganized syllables flooding off his lips with the occasional whimper of "thank you" and "yes". His throat heavy with every curse word he knew stuck in it. Breaths quick and uneven as you coaxed him down your throat. Vibrations coursing past your lips to meet his already sensitive sex.
"I-i'm.. gonna cum.. mmm soooo close! Gonna cum!"
His choked breaths fell over your forehead and in the next second he was emptying every bit of his stress into your mouth. Eyes clouded like Armin wasn't even in there anymore. And you drained him of every drop, reaching between his legs to squeeze his balls.
When you pulled off of him he let out a deep exhale. Body still shaking as he looked at you.
"Thank you so much." He grinned hazily
"God, I wanna be as many of your firsts as possible." You breathe out a laugh.
☆☆The one where Eren walks in☆☆
It wasn't often you came back to the same guy. Every now and then you had one night stands and that's all it ended up being. You'd always been fine with that.
But Armin made you stay. His shaky fingers, nervous tongue and tear stained cheeks so oddly addictive. Intoxicating in how innocent he stayed despite having two sexual encounters with you.
And now here you both were having your third in his bed. Bodies melded together in the heat of both your sweat. Eyes fixated on only each other as his head tilted up like a hungry baby bird to pull you back in every time you fled.
And you indulged him as much as possible because fuck he was the cutest thing. Your hands gliding over his back and up to his shoulders to pull him impossibly closer. Spine curving deliciously when he grazed over your g-spot.
"Armin.. there." You breathed
Your free hand slid between your bodies making space for those slender fingers to work over your clit.
"Flick it." You encouraged, he immediately did as he was told earning a moan of approval.
"Good boy." You hum, lip trembling where it curves under your teeth.
The once soft pink of his face deepened with the compliment. A little smile decorating his gorgeous features. Just another thing to add to your growing folder of mental images.
"There honey.. keep going." You cooed over the little whimper fluttering off his lips as you hugged his cock. "You remember that spot right? The one that you hit when we were outside?"
"Yeah.. I think it was.." His hips remained delicate as he slid right into place. One leg up as he slotted his cock inside you. Heat pooled in the lowest depths of your stomach with the hesitant prodding of his tip to your g-spot. Eyes curving up to yours for further instruction.
"Mmhm that's it.. hit it a little harder ok."
It was all sorts of clumsy but he rammed your g-spot full force. An apology made its way to his throat but eye contact and the choked gasp that left your mouth soon proved it wasn't needed. You spread your legs a little further for him and he grabbed your waist smoothly working your hips over his dick.
"You're doing so well." You giggled taking a hold of his face. "And you're holding out much longer this time."
"Y-yeah but I'm almost there.." He sighed, fingers working at your clit a little faster. Right in time with the faster tempo of his hips.
"Fuck, you feel soooo good." He drawls
His lips parted, eyes flying north. You hugged him a little tighter as his chest pushed you up and down with each thrust. The once gentle drag of your nails now much rougher. As you let it slip just how much you were enjoying this.
Let your mouth fall open for the words circling your brain. Stomach heavy as Armin fucked you with intention. You brushed beads of sweat back from his face. His hair going up with it, clumping together atop his head.
"Mm gonna cum.." He moaned, head lolling with the intensity of his full body tremor.
"Hey Armin-"
"Eren!" Armin nearly shot up as Eren pushed the door open with zero warning.
Armin's free hand stayed on your clit completely stagnant. Tip twitching inside you, he didn't even have time to cover his mouth. Moans and whimpers pouring out from his still parted lips. Every bit of your fifteen minute effort now seen and heard by Eren who stood in the doorway with a raised eyebrow.
"Hey Eren.." You greeted, pulling your hand away from your upturned lips. Meanwhile Armin's face is buried deep in your shoulder blade. Where you already assumed he'd be staying for the next hour.
"Uh huh.." Eren replied, slamming the door shut. "Mikasa, he's busy let's go!" You heard him call as his boots clicked down the hall.
You don’t say a word till you hear the front door open and close, “You ok?” 
“Any chance Eren didn’t hear that?..” He whispered 
“Not in hell or on Earth love.” 
‘Then no..” 
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dourpeep · 3 years ago
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The previous Xiao pov angst was sad so I ended up writing a whole fluff fic from Xiao's pov. This is somewhat reminiscent of Morning Musings (reader's pov of a similar situation).
Memorandum
Summary: In the early hours of morning, he lies awake with his thoughts and the two of you snuggled close to his chest.
Contains: Kazuha x Xiao x gn!Reader, modern au, fluff, sweet, established relationship, polyamorous relationship
It’s unbelievable. Entirely unfair. Ridiculous, even.
Laid between two warm, warm bodies, Xiao settles. A leg lays splayed over his hip, an arm thrown carelessly and draped across his shoulders. Your face is shoved strangely against his shoulder down into his pillow and Kazuha’s breath fans against his neck.
Both of you, tired from yesterday, are fast asleep. Yet he’s laying flat on his back and wide awake as he usually does. Not that he minds much.
In your sleep, you mumble his name and your hand searches for his. The soft pads of fingers skim up along the blanket settled over him, patting down now and then as if his hand would suddenly appear beneath.
When your fingers finally intertwine—Xiao having to do most of the work for you to prevent you from accidentally slapping him—your voice silences away to soft breathing.
It melds in to the comfortable quiet of night, mingling with the dim darkness that casts shadows up along the wall and finally settles in his bones. An inhale, an exhale, in, and out—he follows each breath you take with his inner monologue. In his, your grasp is loose but still very much there.
A tug grabs his attention.
The blanket pulls towards his right, and Kazuha manages to shift and turn on his other side, arm slipping from between your and Xiao’s clasped hands and Xiao’s chest to tuck beneath a head of cream-colored hair.
For a moment, Xiao’s brows furrow. He misses the comfort of the other tucked against his neck and side.
But at a fluttery sigh, he finds that his heart fills with warmth. What could he be dreaming of? Was a smile gracing his lips?
There’s only so many questions he can ask unanswered.
So, Xiao lets his eyes close for the time being.
Sleep still seems to elude him.
By now, it must be early morning, perhaps around 2am. Yet surrounded by the loves of his life, he can’t help but feel as if he can get up any moment and start his day. Of course he wouldn’t dare to. Not with the two of you sleeping so soundly.
Once more, he lets his mind wander.
What was it that you three did yesterday? Bitter black coffee and over-sweet tea, tugging on shoes and locking the door behind with a click.
Right, a short visit to grandma down the hall with a tin of fresh-baked cookies.
Sweet and crisp with little bits of almond and toffee. Kazuha’s been practicing baking this past week and insisted that he hand out the excess to friends.
“You can’t eat all of it, Xiao.” He said, shaking his head. Xiao simply took another, too fast for Kazuha to stop him, and popped it into his mouth. Even though he didn’t favor sweets, he thought that these cookies were delicious.
But Kazuha was right. He made way too many cookies.
All the while, you were busy fiddling with something. A paper, perhaps for school?
You worried at your lip with your teeth, concentrating so hard your laptop. Honestly, Xiao was almost certain that you’d been staring at the same word for at least fifteen minutes.
He remembers how he had to confiscate the cold tea set to your side. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he let one of his loves drink tea cold? The scandalized gasp that flew from you when he dumped the remaining drink down the drain in favor of brewing a fresh cup.
Xiao smiles and gives your hand a small squeeze. It took an apology, three kisses, and tea brewed in half the time it usually would take for you to finally forgive him.
The three of you headed out to the café after that.
It was nice outside, after all, and Kazuha was adamant that the three of you go out and get some sunshine and fresh air.
By some strange miracle, they weren’t out of the sweet pudding Xiao loves. Archons knows that it’s entirely worth the extra dollar it costs to add it to his boba tea.
Though, arguably, he did regret the decision just a bit when he choked after a joke that he really shouldn’t have found funny. In a panic, Kazuha slapped his back a few times while you doubled over in laughter. With tears pricking at the corners of his eyes and lungs burning, Xiao wheezed and weakly flicked your forehead.
“You’re going to send me to an early death.”
“Hu Tao would appreciate the business.”
Needless to say, it wasn’t long until Xiao’s glower dropped. How could he when he found your little quips and comments humorous?
Sunlight filters through the little gap in the curtains, glaringly bright, and for a brief moment Xiao considers fighting the beam that lands just barely below your eyes. The audacity.
Minutes pass and the light hits just over your lashes. Before he can provide a shield from the offending glow, you stir. When your eyes open, squinting through the haze of sleep, they meet two gold ones.
“What time is it?” You rasp, and he hopes that you’ll speak again so that he can hear your voice. Unfortunately, he can’t check the clock.
“Around 6.”
With a groan, you turn until your face is shoved back in your pillow, releasing Xiao’s hand from yours. His fingers twitch at the loss.
“Mmm too early…”
And he agrees. Or he would if he hadn’t already been awake for the past three hours.
The bed shifts with your tossing and turning, a strangled whine leaving your lips. Xiao’s own twitch up in a smile when you peek back up at him with a pout. “I’m too awake to go back to sleep.”
He wraps his arm around you, pulling you close and pressing a kiss to your lips.
“Good morning, then.”
Luckily, you’re easily appeased.
A muffled groan comes from behind Xiao, and he feels Kazuha’s lips press to his shoulder through the thick fabric of his sweater. A murmur vibrates, though he doesn’t understand.
Turning his body, Xiao shifts just enough so that he can scoop his arm beneath his other love, pulling him to rest his head on his chest. With a messy mop of soft, light hair obstructing his vision, he can finally hear what Kazuha’s trying to say.
“What do you want for breakfast?”
The words tumble out clumsily, half slurred with the fact that he only just woke up. Cute.
Kazuha presses his cheek against Xiao’s chest, red eyes half open and gazing up at him and waiting for an answer. Instead, he’s met with a kiss.
“Mm, I’m full.”
You snort at the implication and Kazuha blinks owlishly with pink cheeks.
“Then no breakfast for you.”
“I don’t eat breakfast.”
Like always, the three of you stay snuggled in bed, relishing in the ease of each other’s presence.
With both you and Kazuha in his arms, resting against his chest, he finds it unfair.
How unfair it is to the moon and sun that pale in comparison to the way that you, his loves, light up his long since dimmed life. Not even all the stars in the skies combined could dare equal the warmth that burns bright in his chest.
For the two of you, he’d do anything to see a smile upon your lips and to provide any comfort that you could possibly wish for.
Before you, Xiao has never known love like this.
Watching as Kazuha drags himself out of bed, rubbing his arms at the chill of the morning air, and feeling the way you hug him closer and burrow in the blankets for a few more moments of rest, Xiao feels a peace settle over him.
Though he really should be getting up as well, he closes his eyes and falls into a gentle sleep.
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saintshigaraki · 4 years ago
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ONE DAY WE’LL REVEAL THE TRUTH (THAT ONE WILL DIE BEFORE HE GETS THERE)
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title: youth by daughter
pairing: dabi x f!reader 
words: 1.7k
excerpt: But what is rage, you’d ask him, if not one of the many faces of grief? 
a/n: dabi my beloved (derogatory). this fic is my love letter to parentheses.
tags: angst, toxic relationships, explicit s*xual content, light choking, dabi is a bastard but he is a needy bastard 
in case you’d rather read it on ao3!
MDNI
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He’s just outside the door. He hasn’t made a sound, but you know he’s there. You can feel it; in your blood, in your bones, in your marrow. 
(You’ve always been able to feel him, monstrous and cruel beneath your skin. An itch. An awful taunting itch. You’ve wanted him out since he first stuck his claws in you and buried himself deep, but he’s near impossible to shake. He won’t leave until he’s hollowed you out, until your flesh is no longer your own, until all that’s left of you is him. Until all that’s there, is what he believes there should be. 
He’s a self-important bastard like that.)
When he finally decides to open the door, he does so with a slam. It would’ve made you jump if you hadn’t been so focused on the skyline. Tracing the buildings, looking for stars you know you won’t be able to see. They get swallowed up, this deep in the city. Drowned out by light. 
(When you were a child, you didn’t quite understand how stars could vanish in the night. Weren’t they the brightest things in the universe? Burning and brilliant, even light years away? 
You understand it better now. How mankind has this nasty habit of ruining, of polluting, of blotting out things of wonder and then desperately trying to remake it in our own image.
It’s never as beautiful as what was, but it’s far too late for us to admit defeat now.)
He’s mad, burning up with fury. You can feel the heat of it, cutting straight through the heavy chill of the night air. It’s stifling, your balcony so small that he’s practically breathing down your neck with how close he is. Accompanying his presence, always, is the faint smell of burnt flesh he can never quite mask, no matter the amount of cheap aftershave he tries to drown himself in. 
He’d texted you, and you’d ignored him. For a week, you’ve ignored him and if there’s one thing Dabi hates, it’s when he gets ignored. 
He’s the one that ignores you, it should never be the other way around. 
You know that, of course. You know all his little unwritten rules. 
(Don’t ignore him is at the top of the list. Except, of course, during those nights when he thinks you’re asleep and he clings to you like a child, his tears burning where they touch your skin. Even his grief, you can’t help but think, is scorching.
On those nights, you’ve found it’s best to stay quiet. He wields his grief like rage and you’d rather not be caught in the crossfire.)
He’s waiting for you to talk, to stumble over your words, make some sort of vague attempt at an apology. It’s what you would usually do after you’ve broken one of his rules. 
But you say nothing, content to sit in the too-heavy silence. You’re tired. Of him. Of whatever it is you two have been doing. It’s the same stupid story, the same vicious cycle. A snake cursed to eat its own tail. 
He’s using you. He has been for a long while now. If you’re being perfectly honest with yourself, he most likely has been since the beginning. And God, it’s exhausting work, being used. 
Although, really, you’re not all that much better than he is. In the beginning, you were with him purely because he fascinated you. All his grief laid bare, and so vulnerable. So obvious and painful. Undeniable in its brutality. 
(Rage, he’d say, it’s righteous rage, not grief.
But what is rage, you’d ask him, if not one of the many faces of grief?) 
It didn’t take long for you to realize he’s chasing something. And it took you even less time to realize that whatever he’s after, is probably going to kill him one day. 
(You wonder if he knows he’s chasing his own death. You wonder if he’d care at all. 
He reminds you of Eve, eating the forbidden fruit. You think she’d take a bite of the apple, again and again and again if ever given the choice, even knowing the consequences. Even with intimate knowledge of the suffering to come. How could she not? How could any of us hold our fate in the palm of our hands and choose not to sink our teeth into it?)
He’s growing impatient beside you, burning up with it. If he touched you, you’re sure he’d melt your flesh straight to the hollow bone. 
But you don’t break. Just once, you want him to fall apart first. Just once, you want him desperate. 
(He’s always been so good at making you desperate, with a hand around your neck, just tight enough to leave you gasping for air, your back to his chest and his staples drawing blood, as he pounds into you so hard all you could do is dig your nails into his arm. 
His lips are right by your ear, you’re mine, he says. You’re mine. You’re mine. You’re mine. 
And God, with his cock hitting all the right spots in your cunt you’d believe it. You’d believe anything he’d said to you as long he just kept going. 
Say it, he hisses, say you’re mine. 
You don’t answer him right away, mostly because you can’t, not with the way he’s fucking you. You can’t catch your breath enough to form a sound, you can’t get your bearings enough to collect a single thought that isn’t Dabi Dabi Dabi. 
Annoyed at your lack of answer, he brings a searing thumb down to your overstimulated clit. You keen, arching, desperately trying to get away from the sensation that at this point is more pain than pleasure. 
Say it, he says again, there’s a strange sort of edge to it. Looking back you think it might’ve been desperation. Say it. 
When he presses down just a little harder, you finally crack. 
Yours, you gasp. I’m yours. Yours. Yours. Yours. 
He laughs, so deep in his chest that you feel it in your own. 
It echoes in your head for weeks afterward.)
“What,” he grounds out, low and furious, “the fuck.” 
It’s not a question. 
You turn towards him, at last. Though you can hardly see him, surrounded by shadows. There are glints of his piercings in the polluted light, a gleaming flash as he runs his tongue along with his teeth. But it’s his eyes that you lock on. Bright and a brilliant blue. Glowing and monstrous in the dark. 
(You’re reminded, once again, of the stars. Burning and burning and burning.)
With no preamble, you say, “I think I love you.” 
The air around you quiets. Like the city itself is holding it’s breath. 
It’s not a sweet confession under the moonlight. In the week since you came to the realization, it’s already started to fester, to rot straight through your bones. 
It’s a curse more than anything. You love a man whose chasing his own death. You love a ghost. Or, you suppose, a ghost in the making. 
Before you can say anything else (though really, what else is there to say) he cuts in sharply, meanly, “No, you don’t.” 
You can’t help but tilt your head at that. You don’t really know what to say. You don’t know if you’re supposed to say anything. His lips are pulled back, teeth bared, he’s gleaming and sharp, pulled so taught with tension you wonder how he’s even breathing. He reminds you, vividly, of a cornered animal. A scared one. Though he’s trying to mask it with annoyance, with a type of anger that toes the line of fury. 
He’s always doing that. Masking his fear with rage. Masking his grief with rage. Hiding any part of himself that might be perceived as weak, as soft, as vulnerable, under the guise of rage. 
You can’t imagine that it’s anything less than exhausting. 
Though you have to admit, you didn’t expect this response. You didn’t expect fear. You thought he’d be unbearably smug about it. Proud of himself for finally sinking his teeth into your heart. Ready to chew you up and spit you back out. You were ready for him to move on. 
You didn’t expect him to deny it. 
(He could be right, though you doubt he is.
You wonder what it means to love, you wonder how you’re supposed to love. You wonder if you can only love someone if you’ve seen the cruelest parts of them first. 
You suppose if that’s the case, then he might be right. 
You’ve never actually been able to force yourself to look up what exactly he’s wanted for. What exactly it is he’s done. 
Mostly because you’re afraid that even if you knew every last gory detail, it wouldn’t be enough to make you walk away. And how would you be able to look at yourself in the mirror, after that? Knowing exactly who you let share your bed? who cried scorching hot tears into your shoulder? 
Ignorance is bliss, they say. In your case, it could very well be your only hope for salvation.
But, you don’t really think there’s a set way a person is supposed to love. It’s what makes it so terrifying. It’s an unknown. And it’s so hard to not fear the unknown.)
“Dabi-” you start. 
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” he spits out. Eyes flashing, his hands stuffed in his pockets. 
You want to laugh at the absurdity of it all, of him trying to tell you what you do and do not feel, but you think he’d turn you to ashes for the slight. His pride has always been so easily shaken.  
“Dabi-” you try again. 
But he’s two steps ahead of you. He always is. 
He’s already turned around, hiding his face from view, opening the door. And you don’t stop him. You don’t see why you should. 
You can’t shake him from the path he’s on. You don’t think anyone can, really. 
Grief is all he has, it’s all he’s let himself have. It’s fundamental to him now. It’s all he is. And you’re sure he believes whatever he’s chasing is going to fill the hollow void it’s made of him. 
It won’t. You’re sure of that, at least, because even if he does succeed, what will he be left with then? 
You don’t say any of that to him, because you’re not his fucking therapist. And because you’re not so sure he wouldn’t kill you for it. 
It’s anticlimactic, watching him disappear into your darkened apartment. 
But all you can think about when you hear the click of the front door closing behind him is how honest his fear was, almost childlike. Remnants of a poor, grief-stricken boy. 
What a monster it’s made of him. 
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a/n part two:
thinking about adrianne kalfopoulou’s ‘grief will keep you reaching back / for what is not there.’ 
i could not tell you why this took me over two weeks to write. i had a lot of fun with it though. dabi my beloved. go to therapy please. also i know dabi can’t cry but....let me have this.
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movedbl0g · 4 years ago
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Skz reacting to you being sick
A/N: I’m actually kinda sick right now (it’s just a cold so I’m still good) and this idea popped up in my head ~ i hope you guys like it!!
Genre: fluff
Warnings: sickness, slight swearing(only once)
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————gifs belong to their original owners————
Chan:
We all know that he takes care of other ppl VERY well
I feel like he would check up on you frequently and bringing you the stuff you need
Would not leave your side, would try to comfort you in every way possible
“Y/n??”, Chan called through the apartment after he opened the door and saw that all the lights were turned off. He walked further into the apartment looking around , but there was no sign of you.
When he finally opened your bedroom door he saw you laying in your bed, covered in blankets with a pile of tissues besides you. As you noticed his presence,you gave him a weak smile that was probably not even visible due to the dim lights.
“Are you okay??”, Chan asked, sitting down on your bed and giving you a little kiss on the forehead. You just shook your head no while you clinged on Chan, in which he responded with a tight hug, wrapping his arms around you and bringing you into his lap.
He just held you for a while,his hands sliding through your hair and light kisses in your forehead from time to time.
“Do you need me to get you anything??Should i get some meds??”, he asked after a while but you just held him closer.
“No,don’t worry,cuddles are enough for now”
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Lee Know:
He would try to cheer you up and distract you from your suffering fhchrhdh
He would cook some comforting food like soup for you
We would insist on doing everything thing for you so you can take proper rest
You just texted him that you couldn’t make it to your date today because you weren’t feeling that well and now, ten minutes later he already stood at your door step, a bag of groceries in his left hand and a bag with different medications in the other.
“What are you doing here lino and what’s all that stuff for??” You asked as soon as you opened the door and got a sight of him being packed with stuff.
“I didn’t know what you needed so i brought all different kinds of medications and since i already was about to come over i also thought that i can cook something for you so you can take proper rest”, he started talking with a pout on his lips.
As he started cooking you tried to help him but he immediately scolded you, saying that you shouldn’t spread all of your germs around and should rest on the couch instead while he will cook for you.
(Small time skip)
“This soup was amazing lino!! i already feel way better now and i can help you clean the kitchen-“
“No you’re not doing anything but rest, you’re sick baby!!”
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Changbin:
I feel like he would give you A LOT of cuddles to make you feel better
Would try to make you laugh and lift your mood
But would also give you the rest you need
you couldn’t really sleep last night due to your horrible headache, that wouldn’t get better even tho you took several painkillers and tried to avoid anything that’s bright,it just wouldn’t get better.
When Changbin visited you after he was done with practicing for the day and turned on the lights, you immediately responded with a groan, causing him to immediately turn off the lights again while giving you a worried look.
„What’s wrong honey??“, he asked while walking up to,laying himself on the bed right next to you, immediately wrapping his arms around and holding you against his chest.
“I’m not feeling that well and i think I’m really hot...i should probably check my temperature...” you said while nuzzling your head into Changbins chest. “But honey”, he chuckled, “you’re always hot”
You playfully slapped him as response, making him ruffle through your hair so it looks all messy and it eventually turned until a play fight, until you held your head,mimicking that it hurts a lot.
Changbin immediately stopped and laid you down in the bed again, tucking you under the blanket,giving you one small kiss on the forehead, saying that you should rest now before he left the room.
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Hyunjin:
So we all know how dramatic he is
So i can definitely imagine him running around and screaming after telling him you’re sick
He would keep his distance so he doesn’t get sick too but would still take care of you really well
Would order your favorite food and watch a movie with you (plus he probably would give in to cuddles after a while too)
“WHAT”, he yelled out dramatically, eyes and mouth wide opened. “WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE A COLD WHAT IF I GET SICK AND-“
“Hyunjin, calm down it’s just a light cold and it’s almost gone again-“ you tried to calm him down, reaching out for his hand. “Ahhh don’t touch me- all of your germs are on my hand now-“ he dramatically said while walking away from you, shaking his hands as if it would shake of any germs.
You rolled your eyes,seeing Hyunjin running out if the room completely panicked and at this point you couldn’t even tell if he was teasing you or if he was serious.
He didn’t return for a quite long time, you got a little bit suspicious, but after a few more minutes,he returned with a grin on his face.
“I thought you died because you drank hand sanitizer or something to get rid of the germs-“ you teased him, cocking up your eyebrows while looking at him.
“Not that buuuutttt”, he then replied, a smirk appearing on his face,” i ordered your favorite take out food and I’m willing to watch a movie to you, but only with a safe distance,okay”
“Thank you babe”, you smiled at him and blew him a kiss afterwards “but are you sure that you don’t wanna cuddle??”
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Jisung:
I feel like he’d be really panicked at first
“are you sure that you’re okay??do you need any meds??maybe you should go to the doctor i can-“
After making sure that you’re not dying, he’d make sure to give you a lot of cuddles and kisses (but only on the cheek/jawline/forehead kisses)
Jisung was completely freaked out when he say you sitting in the couch, wrapped up in thousands of blankets, tons of used tissues laying around you and your face red from the fever you were having.
He immediately dropped all of his bags, running up to you grabbing your hands full in panic, looking you in the eyes like your about to die.
“Are you okay??”, he asked with big eyes squeezing your hands.
“Don’t worry, it’s just a little cold”, you said in a raspy voice, forcing yourself to give him a little smile.
“Are you sure your not dying??” he continued asking, his face expressions more serious that ever “or do you need any meds?? I can get some for you if you want...and you really don’t wanna go to the doctor...i mean you can go just to be sure....wait I’ll make you some tea, i’ll be right back”
You tried to calm him down a bit,but he already disappeared in the kitchen,coming back minutes later with a huge can of tea.
“And just to make sure that you’re not dying,i guess i have to pepper you with kisses babe”
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Felix:
CUDDLEBUG
would not let you out of his embrace
would probably bake some brownies for you because he knows you live them while you sleep
he would just be so sweet and caring in general my heart is melting if i just think abt it ahhhh
You were waking up in Felix’s arms,your head pressed against his chest and his lips resting next to your forehead. As you slowly woke up, you felt a horrible pain in your throat and you noticed that you could barely breathe through your nose.
“Baby?”, you whispered to him,getting a hum as reaponse. “I don’t feel that well, i think I’m going to get sick” you said, feeling him shuffle away a little bit to take a look at your face.
“You really look a little bit sick” he said, his eyes carefully scanning your face. “Do you need any meds or should we go to the doctors?”, he carefully asked while his eyes came back ti yours, making eye contact.
“No i think it’s not that bad,but i like that you’re really warm”, you told him while coming closer to his chest again, the warmth of his embrace sending shivers down your spine. He immediately held you closer, his long arms wrapping around you and carefully drawing circles on your beg,until you drifted of to sleep.
When you woke up it was way brighter,so you probably slept for a few hours. When you noticed that Felix was gone, you let out a small cry, but you immediately got distracted by the smell of fresh brownies.
Just now the door opened,Felix walking in with a cup of hit chocolate in his one hand and a plate with a brownie in the other.
“Here, to make you feel a little bit better” he said while handing you the plate and a fork, giving you a huge smile.
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Seungmin:
I feel like he would be similar to Changbin
We would look super concerned at you with his puppy dog eyes
Would try to make you laugh with corny jokes
CUDDELS
You told Seungmin that you were sick before he came over,warning him from yourself, but when he came over and actually saw how sick you looked with glassy eyes, a red,runny nose and burning hot cheeks.
He looked at you scanning you from head to toe, his puppy eyes furrowed concerned, slowly walking up to you. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were THAT sick??”, he asked worryingly while pulling you into a hug, the tone of his voice almost making your heart break.
“It’s really not as bad as it looks”,you reassured him,your hand gently rubbing over his back. “But did you bring the thermometer, i think i really should take my temperature”
“Of course”, he said with a smile, breaking the hug to reach into his bag,grabbing the theometre and holding it against your forehead
“And??what does it say??”,you asked curiously.
Seungmin just let out a little chuckle before saying “well,you know..... i always told you that you were hot as fuck....”
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Jeongin:
I think we wouldn’t quite know what to do bc the others always took care of him
But he‘d definitely make you some warm tea to make you feel better
Would probably end up calling chan for advice lol
This poor baby got so concerned when you started sneezing nonstop and would rest, but now that you were in your bed, basically knocked out from your fever.
“Uhmmm...is there anything i can...like give you??” He asked,his voice filled with uncertainty. “
“Yes please”, you groaned,”i really think that i need some meds”
“Uhmm sure, I’m gonna look at what i have here, but i already made you some tea, so drink that while i be looking for...uh whatever medication that will make you feel better...just uhmm...wait here...”, he said while placing a cup of tea on your nightstand.
As soon ad he disappeared to look for the right meds, he called chan.
“Channie, i really really need your help....you know y/n is sick and i don’t know how the right medications look like....yeah i need something against fever....the one with the red or blue label?? And do we have to go to the doctor or-“
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🖤masterlist
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acdeaky · 4 years ago
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(felt your arms) holding me
warning: mentions/descriptions of nightmares, mentions of blood and death, implications of PTSD, fluff
note: this was meant to be my other submission for @celestialbarnes’ 4k writing challenge, but my brain decided to finish this one first and ignore my original idea (but that will still come your way!) i chose the prompt ‘bed’ and dialogue 9 ‘“was it the nightmares again?” “no” “you suck at lying”’ congrats again, rachel! and enjoy 🤍
read my other submission here!
word count: 2.0k
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all that rung through the scarce lobby of your hotel was yours and bucky’s laughs. his arm thrown over your shoulders as yours was wrapped around his waist, your left hand reaching over your body to rest on his chest.
your façade of a happily married couple fooled everyone you’d met since the mission began; the hotel clerks and customers, the targets, even people on the street. they all seemed to take one look at you and believe the act the two of you had been putting on for two days.
the only time it faltered was as soon as you walked through the hotel room door, bucky’s arm leaving your body as if he was scared of invading your personal space. even after spending all day and night by each other’s sides he was still scared of overstepping that invisible boundary he’d put there himself.
everything worked like clockwork after the soft sounds of the lock clicking into place sounded through the room: bucky would remove his blazer, grabbing himself a drink while you slid into the bathroom, nightwear in hand. he’d allow you the bathroom first, for as long as you wanted, occupying his time by either drinking the aged whiskey in the room’s mini bar or cleaning inbetween the ridges of his vibranium arm.
you’d walk out some time later, the remains of the steam from your shower following after you. bucky would give you a smile before standing and grabbing his nightwear, repeating your earlier actions. he’d come out only a little while later, finding you curled in the chair by the desk, your eyes scanning and reading over the report for the day.
“it’s late, doll, don’t spend too long on that.” he chastised, stepping over to your side to place a delicate kiss on your temple. like usual, whenever bucky was even close to you, your heart fluttered, your hand so desperately wanting to reach out and grab his own.
but you refrained, knowing that saying something now would change things: you didn’t want that just yet. staying in this little bubble was enough.
before you even had the chance to look up and reply to him, bucky was already laid along the sofa, a blanket thrown across his lower half. he, himself, had papers in his hands, reading over earlier reports from days before.
“don’t be too late.” you teased a few moments later after dropping your pen and making your way over to the bed. bucky glanced over at you, smiling lightly as he watched you climb under the sheets, wanting to be there next to you. “night buck.”
“g’night, doll.” came his response as the lights switched off. the papers in his hands fell onto the floor just before he closed his eyes, mind wandering back to the first day of the mission.
-
as much as you’d love to pretend it didn’t, the view of only one bed in the middle of the room made your heart drop. of course; it made sense that you and bucky, a happily married couple, would need a room with only one bed. but you didn’t want to overstep, didn’t want to make bucky even more uncomfortable than you thought he already was.
you didn’t think anything could make this situation better, but you knew there was no possibility of bucky sleeping next to you each night you’d be there; he rarely slept in his own bed.
bucky followed into the room after you, not even registering the situation as he dropped your bags onto the ottoman against the end of the bed. he looked towards you and saw the slight worry etched into your features, immediately worried at whatever was wrong.
“hey, what’s up?” he asked, gentle as ever, a hand wanting to reach out towards you, but unsure as to how to interact.
“there- there’s only one bed,” you spoke, watching as bucky’s eyes widened slightly and turned away from you. “i mean- it’s not a problem, i just don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, and i’m sure we can work something out-”
“i’ll sleep on the couch, it’s fine, doll.” he smiled, toothless and unsure, but determined to settle your mind.
“bucky, no, i can’t make you do that.”
“you’re not, it’s okay, really.” his little smile came again, hoping to reassure you - it didn’t.
the both of you knew it was no use; bucky was as stubborn as anything and wouldn’t allow you to give up any of your comfort for his own. and so, bucky found himself sleeping on the sofa for the first two nights. for him, it was better than the floor (like he was used to), and better than the all too soft mattress which laid underneath you.
bucky wanted more, you wanted more.
you wanted to reach out and touch his soul, wrap your healing hands around his heart and never let go until he was healed. you wanted that physical touch, whispering quiet affirmations into his ear as you held him tight against your chest, the beating of your heart killing him to sleep as you allowed his steady breathing to help you.
and bucky, bucky wanted to reach out to you, let his incoherent rambling fall onto your listening ears as you returned nods and calming smiles. he wanted you to listen, to understand, to give him everything he’s ever wanted from you. although it wasn’t much, there was something from you he craved and he was willing to go to the ends of the earth.
-
it can’t have been late when you heard the familiar sounds of the sofa groaning under the shift of bucky’s weight, the blanket hitting the floor and finally footsteps from one side of the room to the window.
he had to have been awake for a little while, tossing and turning on the cushions before deciding to actually get up. he rarely does that, usually managing to settle himself. but tonight was different, clearly, and something bad truly shaken him.
“was it the nightmares again?” you whispered into the darkened room, the only light coming from the moon shining through the thin transparent curtains.
“no.” came his reply many moments later as bucky ended his debate on whether to tell you the truth or not.
“you suck at lying.” was all you replied, pulling the white sheets from your body as you shifted to the edge of the bed.
even with the minimal light, you managed to make your way over to bucky. he was sat on one of the chairs facing the large opening doors to the balcony, watching the city continue flourishing through the gap of material, even in the early hours of the morning.
with little thought, your hands rested on his tense shoulders, barely registering the lack of the t-shirt he wore to sleep earlier. there was a shaky breath that escaped him, but other than that bucky stayed silent. his eyes remained focused on the view, mind attempting to concentrate on something that wasn’t your soft, yet skilled, hands erasing the knots from his shoulders.
“are you going to tell me the truth soon?” you asked after a few minutes, almost scared that bucky had fallen asleep sat up and all that holding him was your delicate hands.
there still came no reply, but you could feel his shoulders shaking with the silent, heavy breath he exhaled. so you left the conversation, opting to walking around to the front of the chair to lend your hand instead.
he placed his left hand in your own, allowing you to pull him up from his seat and lead him over to the bed. as much as his mind was telling him no, he couldn’t refuse your offer of laying with you, sheets wrapped around your bodies as you attempted to fall asleep again.
as you climbed into your side, bucky was hesistent, taking a convincing pat on the sheets from you for him to finally make up his mind. even as he laid down on his back, he was stiff, almost motionless under the sheets as he tried not to unconsciously shuffle closer to you.
but you weren’t like that; you lazily rolled onto your side, facing bucky as you shuffled closer to his body, his warmth.
a shy hand reached out to touch his left bicep, grabbing bucky’s attention as he felt a touch as soft as clouds on his vibranium arm. something he’d never felt, never experienced, and it almost startled you how quickly his head snapped to the side to look at you.
“is this okay?” your voice was quiet and you motioned towards where your hand was placed, watching in bucky’s eyes for any sign on discomfort or worry; there wasn’t any. though, all he could reply was a curt nod. his body remained motionless. his head fixed in its place watching you.
once he let you know he was okay, you became more confident. it only took a second for you to shuffle even closer to bucky, your body practically flush with his side as your free hand grabbed his left one, lacing your fingers together.
“is this still okay?” and once again, he could only nod, his eyes still fixed on yours as he watched them twinkle in the moonlight.
“what happens? in your nightmares; what happens?” the hand over his bicep moved to his chest, running over his smooth skin in an attempt to calm him down.
“too much.” was all he replied.
“what happened tonight?”
“you,” it was short, but you could imagine what was coming next. “you died, and i couldn’t save you. you were laid in my arms, in the pretty dress you wore last night, blood staining everything. you were dying in my arms, doll, and all i could do was sit and watch.”
even with the falter in his voice, neither of you broke eye contact, keeping your eyes fixed on his for as long as he would let you before you would, eventually, have to look away. but he didn’t pull back, and so you didn’t. he spoke openly, honestly, letting you in to another piece of his mind which he only showed a few people.
“don’t think about that anymore,” you whispered, “think about how i’m here, alive, in your arms, living and breathing with that dress unstained in the wardrobe.”
the hand that once rested on his chest shifted upwards, moving to cover bucky’s cheek and wipe away the stray tear that had fallen. your gaze dropped from his eyes for a second, down to his lips and back. if he noticed, he didn’t say anything, just inhaling a shaky breath.
you let your right hand leave bucky’s left, unlacing your fingers before using your other hand to guide his arm around your shoulders. the chill of the vibranium sent little shocks down your skin, but it was a nice contrast to the warmth of his chest.
the front of your body pressed closer into his side, shifting your body to allow your cheek to rest against his pec, his heart beating away right under your ear.
a deep sigh left bucky, his chest rising and falling quickly as he allowed himself a moment to realise what was happening. you were there, skin to skin against him, happily laid with his arm wrapped around your body.
“i care about you, buck, more than you like to think,” your whispered confession came. “i have done for a while, and how i feel about you isn’t how i feel about everyone else.”
it took a moment for bucky to reply. he allowed your words to sink in, to resonate with him for a moment before even thinking of what to say. you’d told him how you feel, how you’ve felt for a long time, in a way he understood, a way he could comprehend.
“i care about you, too.”
-
taglist (for people who i think might enjoy this): @forever-rogue @buvky @buckys-darling @barnessupremacy @wallflowerbarnes @bvckysmoon @gryffindorwriter @nev3rfound @aerynwrites
bucky taglist: @marvel-rhapsody @bloomingbucky
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wandsandwheezes · 4 years ago
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Hermes | G.W
WARNINGS // 2k // SMUT 18+, Hermes!George AU, God!George AU, Betrothals, Dirty Talk, Innocence Kink, Corruption Kink, Unprotected Sex, Breeding Kink, Belly Bulging, (a very lowkey) Size Kink, Premarital Sex.
A/N // The third?? instalment of mine, @darthwheezely and @amxrtentias Gods!AU collection/series/etc <3 i lovs u both and i hope you chikas enjoy <33
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Hermes is the ancient Greek god of trade, wealth, luck and fertility. One of the cleverest and most mischievous of the Olympian gods, he is, above all, the herald and messenger of Mt. Olympus, symbol of the crossing of boundaries in his role as a guide between the two realms of gods and humanity.
Locking eyes with him from across the rowdy dining hall, the Grecian God, whom you knew you were to be betrothed to. You knew from the moment you set your eyes on him that he was something of wonder and yet the thought of you being deflowered by him didn’t put you in as much worry as you thought it would have. You truly hadn’t expected to attract the attention so easily of the most gorgeous being you had ever laid your eyes upon.
When your parents had forced you to come to the celebration, arranged especially for the purpose of yours and his meeting, you wanted nothing less than to be in and out of there as quick as Zeus’ lightning but yet when you caught the way his hair shone like a beacon of light as it glimmered in the Grecian sun, you couldn’t bear to pull yourself away. 
His jaw was prominent, obviously sculpted by the gods as he leaned over the table to grasp at a handful of grapes, his eyes not leaving yours for a second as he popped them one by one past his lips, tongue dragging along his fingers with every intent of turning you to a pooling mess.
It was unfamiliar, the way your tummy erupted with the flight of a thousand butterflies, a feeling of confusion filling you as you noted the growing wetness between your thighs. You had never taken a lover, nor even shared a kiss with another man, yet the moment you had locked eyes with George, it’s as if you became tethered to him, under the spell of his allure.
He found it fascinating, the way baby bunnies like you shone bright with purity. He liked that about you, he hardly knew your name, but one thing rang true; your untouched innocence was daring to be claimed. 
You thought he had disappeared, leaving your first meeting to be nothing more than fleeting glances. Taking yourself away from the drunken laughter to wander the open halls, fingertips grazing over the pure white stone of the castle that stood tall, proud and dominant. 
“My, my.. aren’t you a wonder.” You hadn’t expected his voice to be so deep, startling you from your own thoughts so rapidly that you found yourself spinning on your heel only to crash directly into the chest.
There’s something intoxicating about the way George held you, as if his touch was electric, rendering you completely and utterly dumbfounded, his eyes once again burning into your skin as he took in every inch of your untouched skin he could muster in your close proximity. 
George had never seen such a doe-eyed beauty like yourself. You were a tiny, sweet little thing compared to him, the way he towered over you made you feel safe, secure and protected, not intimidated like any other man had made you feel, but he wasn’t just any man, he was your betrothed, a intricately chiselled God whose freckles had been hand picked for him and created to be one of the most wondrous sights to behold.
Looking up at him you felt an overwhelming desire like never before, to press your lips against his beautifully crafted, rosy red lips. Of course you wanted to kiss him, especially when his feather light touch had brushed your hair off of your shoulder, leaving your collarbone, neck and chest bare and exposed. His large hand cradled your neck, ghosting a thumb over your lower lip as he inched himself closer to you, almost feeling his hot breath against your chin before his eyes sought out yours again, searching in them for a sign to stop. “Tell me if this is too much and I’ll stop.” 
You shook your head gently, only pushing his thumb across your lips once more before you found yourself leaning in again, truly on your toes to reach his lips. They connected together in such a heated passion that you had practically been knocked back, hands rapidly hoisting you up onto the ledge to kiss you easier. He tasted like magic and eloquence all wrapped into one, the sweet hint of grapes lingering on his tongue as it slipped past your lips.
You found yourself breathless as you pulled away from his kiss, forehead pressed against his as you squeezed your eyes closed. Already desperate for another you whimpered, your whole body leaning into him as he watched your chest heave.
“I want to absolutely devour you and it’s taken everything within me not to do so already.” He sighed, fingertips dancing over the white abundance of fabric that was cinched in at your waist, noting how irresistibly innocent you looked before him.
“Devour me?” You whispered through a shaky breath.
“I want to drink you in like the sweetest wine to ever pass my lips, you are the divine, untouched nectar I crave, a goddess in human form.” he hummed, smirking to himself at the way you avoided his gaze, overwhelmed by the full attention of a God like himself.
“A little thing like you never imagined being touched by a God, hm? I would bet your virgin cunt is throbbing just at the thought of me kissing you,”
He could read you, like the pages of never ending parchment, see through you like crystal clear waters. You couldn’t find the words to counter him, let alone to tell him to touch you.
With a sharp inhale, you felt his thumb brush over your fabric covered nipple, unaware of just how hard and sensitive they were until awoken by his touch. You let out an involuntary whimper, although it seemed more like a breathy moan at the first touch of a man you had ever before experienced.
“I just know you’re already dripping down your thighs for me, is that what you want, for me to fill your cunt up, stretch you out to fit me?”
All you could muster was a faint ‘please’, looking up at him through your lashes just in time to catch his pearly white smile before his arm had wrapped around your waist, whisking you away to his bedroom on a more secluded part of the grounds.
It was at this point that his soft touch began slipping the pathetic fabric from your body, leaving you naked before him as it pooled at your feet. He didn’t dare stare too long, instead stripping down the same way he had left you bare. His hands were quick to reach out, gliding all over your skin as he murmured praise into your ear, the vibration of his low voice humming against your ear, making you cave into him.
You were completely in his hands, thankful he knew what he was doing. His hand trailed down, reaching slowly between your legs, fingers quickly becoming slick with how wet he had already made you, much to his pleasure. You didn’t know how he did it, how when he dragged his fingers over a sensitive area, he was able to pull such a wonton moan from your lips.
He had laid you down upon a bed of comforts, hand pushing your chest down to lay fully back before slowly parting your legs so that he could nestle between them, he wanted to paint a picture of the way you were right in this moment, hair splayed out messily with your thighs either side of him, cunt dripping and clenching at the mere thought of wrapping around his cock. He wanted to paint in detail the innocence you held before he fucked it out of you, before he claimed you as his.
Your moans were greater than any tune or melody that had graced his ears, satisfied enough with seeing you squirm as his fingers sank in and out of the tightest hole he’d ever felt wrapped around his fingers. His thumb circled your clit, keeping you nice and wet as he stretched you out as best as he could with his fingers alone. “That’s it, cherub, no need to be quiet for me, let me know how nice it feels.”
He wanted you to feel comfortable when it came to the moment he and you would become one, lining his length up before pushing in ever so slightly. He found your hand, lacing his fingers with yours as he gently guided as much as you would take from him, slick walls allowing his inches to fit with ease until he was fully inside of you. It was almost as if your cunt were made for him, his cock fitting perfectly like lock and key.
He leant forward, forehead pressed against yours as he checked in with you, making sure that you were okay for him to move before he set a slow pace of passionate fucking. “Such a pretty Pearl you are, doesn’t that feel nice, finally having cock fill that tight cunt?”
“Oh, George, you’re so big, feels so, so nice the way you fill me.” You moaned loudly, unaware of just how much he could make you moan, whimper and writhe. With every movement, you thought you’d moan louder, thumb dragging across your clit to help build that beautiful sensation he wanted to give you.
Leaning back up to watch the way your cunt greedily swallowed every inch of him as he fucked you, he noticed the way a small bulge appeared with every thrust. He stilled while fully sinking inside you, chuckling slightly to himself as he ran his thumb over the bulge, smirking at the feeling of his touch against his cockhead through your skin when he realised what he was doing.
“Look at you, so greedy for me already. See how I’m in your belly, bet I could split you in two if I tried.” He chuckled, pulling your body up to make you watch the way the outline of his cock swelled your abdomen. “Watch for me, my little bunny, look how much I fill you up.” 
He kept thrusting, grabbing your hand to push down against the bulge, letting you feel the rhythm of his cock hitting your hand. He then guided your hand down to your own clit, his large hand swallowing yours as he moved your own fingers against your clit. His fevered touch was drawing you closer and closer to euphoria. When it hit you, the feeling was unlike anything you had ever experienced, like every single moment of happiness, excitement and joy you had experienced in your life had hit you all at once, finding yourself screaming out his name for all to hear. 
“That’s it, Pearl, you look like a goddess right now, absolutely glowing.” He groaned, continuing in his thrusts until he felt his own high approach, growling in your ear as his sensitive head hit your back wall as he bottomed out over and over. “I’m gonna fill you up, make your belly swell when I breed you, little one.” 
As if you had become a goddess yourself, he filled you up with his release, well and truly in the clouds for the first time in your life. 
He had covered you with a silk sheet quickly to protect your modesty, brushing sweaty hair from your eyes as he lay beside you, taking in your beauty once again.
“And to think you’re mine to devour, human woman made for the gods.” He rambled, his hands never leaving your skin.
“George?” You whispered. 
“Mhm?”
“Thank you for being so gentle with me, I’m sure you weren’t expecting your betrothed to be a virg-”
“Hush now, little one, I’d rather you know my touch alone than the touch of another because the thought of anyone else ever coming near you makes me feel like my brother, just full of rage.”
“You don’t mean that-”
“I do, you deserve to feel protected. Betrothed or not y/n, you are something even a God like me is lucky to have.”
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keilemlucent · 4 years ago
Text
“i’m here”
NSFW (minors dni)
hawks | takami keigo x reader
word count: ~2.2k
keigo comes home and you’ve both got old wounds on the surface 
warnings: sex-based breakdown/panic, depictions of ptsd, safe-wording, trauma (😎), vague descriptions of dissociation
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a/n: hey folks, mind the tags! this is some vulnerable, self-indulgent hurt/comfort. i’m a bit shy posting this one BUT all the same enjoy <3
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Keigo cared.
You could tell, so easily. It radiated around him when you were together, this aura that he never carried publicly. It was saved for you, a different type of adoration and tenderness that solely belonged between the two of your souls.
It was never acknowledged, but felt, and that quiet recognition was enough.
There were things you couldn’t tell him, not yet and fuck, maybe you never would. Everyone has their demons, and you knew Keigo had plenty of secrets he kept to him.
(How many times did you help him pluck and preen feathers still wet with blood? He assured you it was never his, but that didn’t ease the knot in your gut.)
It was just boundaries, maybe. Maybe. The things you couldn’t, wouldn’t tell each other. Little lines drawn to keep the two of you safe from your pains. Better to lock them up than share them, right?
Except, things are never that simple and ills hate staying hidden for too long.
...
He’d been gone for a while. A mission far off and secret.
By proxy, Keigo had come home haggard and hungry.
For you.
He entered your home and without pause, he was on you.
He tossed you into bed. His wings flared out wide and ruffled. It made him look bigger than he was, and the light in his eyes had a starved gleam that sent your heart racing.
You tried to ignore his new, plentiful bruises and bumps. The colors bloomed over his skin, even in the near dark of the bedroom.
What does he do when he’s away?
It was better to not ask questions.
He ravaged you, naturally. How could he not? He’d been gone for weeks, sending you the nastiest, most yearning texts. Nothing too long, but little notes that communicated how much he missed you, how much he fucking needed you.
And he was certainly showing you.
His lips were over yours, nipping and sucking and devouring you in every sense of the word. Hands tugged and ripped your clothes off, his nails long and unmanicured with his mission. They weren’t quite pointed, but they were still too sharp to be scratching down your ribs.
It was all a bit too much, a bit too fast, but you tried to catch up the best you could.
“Keigo—” You sputtered as he bit his way down to your breasts, tugging on a nipple with his teeth.
“Hush,” His voice sounded far too low and it made your stomach flip (in the worst way oh my god). “I’ll take care of you. Doesn’t that sound nice, dove?”
The pet name should’ve soothed you.
(‘Should’ve’.)
Your inside did flips as he trailed lower.
Your mind was going lower too.
Mentally, you scrambled, clawing for a ledge to ground yourself on. Sensation whirled, pleasure and fear mixing into some fucked up cocktail in the front of your psyche.
Why are you so scared?
Your heart pounded, nearly ached in your chest as Keigo played with your clit over your panties.
It should’ve felt good.
His tousled hair was so fucking pretty. Keigo was gorgeous in every way, the wings were just a part of his visage. You were so lucky, so privileged to have him looking at your cunt so hungrily.
You’re so scared.
Why are you scared?
(You knew why, you just didn’t want to remember any more than you needed to. But that wasn’t really in your control, was it?)
You felt like you were falling as Keigo cleanly licks your cunt through your panties, soaking the cotton with his drool.
No, no, no.
Tears pricked your eyes as he pulled aside your panties, just enough to get a look, going in for a taste—
NO, NO, NO—
“N-no. Stop.” You gasped the words, cringing at how they broke in your throat. “Keigo, s-stop.”
Keigo froze immediatly, gaze flickering up to your face before his expression fell hard and fast.
No, no, no, you made him upset.
Dumbass.
He shot up, wings folding tight to his back. You scrambled up on the bed, arms wrapping around your shoulders. They shook in your grasp, you shook in your own hold as you tried to comfort yourself. Your breath was coming too fast and hard, but that was another issue entirely. You tucked into yourself tighter and let your vision go blurry in the ripples of the sheets.
Keigo sat in front of you, eyes wide and lips parted in terror and unsure words.
“I’m so s-sorry,” His hands folded in his lap. So tense they looked painful.
You shook your head, laughing, “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
You just couldn’t do this right now.
“Can I help?”
You didn’t reply for a moment, trying to reign in your racing mind.
Truly, Keigo didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe moved a bit too fast, but nothing out of the ordinary. You’d done this song and dance so many times, you loved it. Most of the time.
Sometimes, someone with your secrets had bad days that made you scared of the people that love you the most.
A thick sludge burrowed in the back of your throat as you shook your head.
Thinking felt too hard.
“Not yet,” you choked out rubbing at your cheeks. The tears smeared over your cheeks, turning them hot and angry as the rabbit’s heart buried in your chest. .
Keigo hovered, unsure.
It wasn’t like him not to know what to do. He was intuitive and saw through people easily, even if he didn’t say it. And he knew you particularly well. Very well. Little details about you and your being were tucked away in his mind, always brought out in key moments.
“Dovey?” He asked softly, like trying not to startle a terrified animal (isn’t that what you were?) “Do you want me to go?”
“N-no,” The words burst from your lips as your chest squeezed so tight, you could’ve checked. “No, no, no, please don’t go.”
You gagged on air and slammed back into the headboard.
Sure, the odd mix of emotions and very unwelcome memories was rawing your mind and body from the inside out. Sure, Keigo knew nothing of what you were experiencing. This was private, all of this part of you held far away from him. This was your burden. You had therapy, and self-help books, and deep breathing.
But, none of that was working. Instead, you were staring down your lover, helpless.
Your eyes flickered to the nightstand.
“Water?”
Keigo was already sending off a flurry of feathers to freshen up the liquid in the glass.
Good start.
Keigo’s hands twitched, wings restless as he regarded you. His breaths were even and solid, counted and practiced to keep himself calm in the face of your panic.
A chilled glass was delivered to you by a bundle of feathers. You snatched it, holding it to your cheeks before taking a few fat gulps.
Slow down.
You’re going too fast.
“Little sips,” Keigo reminded you, voice soft.
You pulled back, looking at him in your hazy vision, “Little sips?”
You tried again, taking a smaller sip, swishing the water in your mouth before swallowing.
“Was that good?” You looked at him, inching closer to him
He nodded, golden and glowing, “Very good.”
The praise was a little bit of salve for a much larger wound, but it felt wonderful nonetheless.
Keigo wasn’t the issue.
He wasn’t, truly. You knew that, despite all the swirling fear.
The only issue with Keigo was that he suddenly felt too far away.
You gave him a desperate little look, hands itching across the covers.
He noticed because of course he fucking did.
(Thank fucking god.)
“I’m here.”
It was a reminder, a needed one.
Keigo, your kind, sweet partner was not the memories swirling his mind. He didn’t hurt you, he didn’t harm you.
“... Yeah?” You sniffled.
“I am.” His face was soft, softer than you’d ever seen. The pre-mature wrinkles looked too deep in the moonlight. His eyes looked too old, too worn, as he silently acknowledged those goddamn demons without a word. A little, rumbling coo broke from the back of his throat and felt yourself relax with the sound.
And, fuck, bless him—
Keigo gave you a soft smile that felt like warm honey in spiced tea that seeps into the cracks between your ribs.  
“Hold me?” You finally asked, words shaking but not hesitant.
He nodded, and before you could comprehend, he was tugging you down into the sheets, pulling you to his chest and squeezing. It wasn’t rough treatment, but it was firm, grounding at the very fucking least. His arm wrapped around your middle, pulling you to his chest and holding you there. Your cheek squished against the chill of the cooling sweat over his sternum, a shaking breath finally coming slow enough to give you a bit of ease.
“Is this okay?” Keigo asked, one of his wings adjusted to barely ghost over your bodies.
You pressed closer, greedy and scared, “More. Tighter. Please.”
Keigo wasn’t one to deny you.
His grip got firmer, fingers stroking up and down your spine in time with his own slow breathing. The wing over you relaxed, bearing down just enough to be comfortable. It was maybe a little too much. You dealt with it, let the weight of Keigo be next to you and over you because he was good. You were good or going to be. You clung to the thought.
“You’re safe, I promise.”
You clung to that thought too. Keigo was good and safe. You believed him if only a little bit.
You hoped Keigo knew that this wasn’t about him. That the poisonous memories and awful thoughts weren’t about him, rather than he’d caught their thin, nearly invisible tripwire.
You’re safe, why are you panicking?
Because sometimes this just happens.
You pressed your nose between his pecs, tucking a hand between the roots of his wings. It made him startle; the area was sensitive. He quickly relaxed and went back to petting your back and taking deep breaths.
The two of you laid for a long time, surrounded by each other's breathing and grounding in the heat of the sheets and the white noise of the world. You remained in some sort of a daze for most of it, the memories fading, but just leaving you numb and out of it.
“More water?” Keigo asked, tentatively kissing your clammy forehead.
You nodded, sitting up slowly and rubbing a hand over your cheeks. The air felt less suffocating, your mind calmer, but you still felt like shit—
“Drink,” Keigo brought the glass to your lips with a combination of his hands and feathers.
You gulped down half of the freshened water, letting a bit dribble past the corner of your lips. The leftovers were swept away by your thumb and rubbed in your hot cheeks. The cold was a grounding, and the world was finally stilling as you needed it to.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” You met Keigo’s gaze from where he sat across from you. He sat upright and on his knees, hands and wings folded to his center. The posture made him look smaller as he watched you. His bright eyes took you in as well as they could, but you could sense he was still a little on edge.
Your words made his brows shoot up.
“I should be telling you that, not the other way around,” Keigo bit his lip and frowned.
You snatched his hands in yours, “We both need it. I need you to know I’m not upset.”
“You... should be. At least a little.”
You gave a little shake of your head, thick in your resolve.
Keigo stayed silent before taking a deep breath, wings readjusting with thought, “I suppose you don’t want to talk about it?”
“I... I don’t,” Maybe sometime, but not now. “But, I still need you to know you didn’t do anything wrong. It just moved too fast for me and I got...”
You lost your words and your vision went hazy at the bedsheets once more.
“Overwhelmed?” He finished your sentence with a squeeze of your hands.
“Yeah, fuck, that’s the word,” You shook your head. “I’m still not feeling great.”
“That’s okay, “ Keigo assured you with another squeeze. “Can I help at all?”
You shook your head once more.
Not right now, not more than you’ve already done.
“Just be here, if that’s okay? Like you have been.” You fully intertwined your fingers, noticing the remnants of something dark under his fingernails. More than likely dirt, but it was still a reminder. “It’s just nice to have you close.”
Everyone has their demons.
“Can I still kiss you?” Keigo asked as you dragged him under the covers.
You mussed on it, wondering if it would bring back the thick fog and panic.
“Only a little,” You told him, once again burying yourself in him. “I’ll let you know if it’s too much.”
It was more than enough for the two of you.
Keigo tilted your jaw up with his palm, giving you the gentlest kiss he could. His touch remained firm everywhere else, but he was tentative in giving you the space you needed.
He pulled away and you tuck yourself under his chin.
“Thank you.”
Keigo’s wing stretched over you, blocking out whatever thoughts and ills clawed toward you. In a wordless squeeze, he said all that needed to.
‘Of course.’
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diamond-coral · 3 years ago
Text
The Heist- Part Two
Steve x Reader Chapter Summary: Steve sees you working at a club. Now Steve wants you...and he’ll have you.
Series Warnings: dark, rape/non-con, kidnapping, stripper themes, swearing, crime
Chapter Warnings: male masturbation, swearing, stripper themes, kidnapping, crime, mild violence, threats of rape/non-con, creepy crazy stevo
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Steve had begrudgingly went to the strip club with Bucky and Sam because, as Sam said, ‘Modern women are somethin’ else compared to the 1940’s.’. Bucky was much more enthusiastic to see how much things had changed as a once been ladies’ man from the 40’s even if it meant having to go with Sam who bickered with him every five minutes. And while Bucky’s enthusiasm remained as they entered the club, the blaring music, flashing lights, and women in skimpy outfits had Steve remaining unimpressed.
Until he saw you.
You weren’t on the stage but rather talking to a coworker in the back of the room, a tray of drinks in one hand and a smile on your face that could light up a room. An honest, genuine smile that stood out in a room filled with nothing but empty sultry smiles given by dancers. Your coworker said something, and you threw your head back and let out a laugh that Steve could’ve sworn he had heard ringing all the way across the club over the blaring music.
You were perfect.
While you were still scantily clad in nothing but a light pink shimmery sheer top that showed your bra perfectly cupping your breasts, a pair of barely their black shorts, and black heels that had his eyes dragging up and down your legs, your demeanor and posture was more relaxed, and that’s what he loved. You weren’t sticking your tits out in front of you or pushing your ass back, but were rather slouched a little, eyes shimmering with excitement as you talked. What Steve saw of you was raw and authentic, and he loved it.
Sam’s voice interrupted Steve from his daydreaming, and Steve shot him a look of irritation causing Sam to raise his hands in defense.
“Woah there loverboy,” Sam chuckled. “I was just gonna suggest, you should ask for a dance from that girl you’re ogling over.”
“And before you go over and court her with your righteousness and whisk her away to waltz like prince charming, he means a lapdance, punk,” Bucky says while taking a sip of his drink.
“I- I was’t ogling,” Steve sputtered, but let out a sigh of defeat at Sam’s raised eyebrow. “I’m not gonna ask for a lapdance. Besides, she seems to be just waiting tables. I wouldn’t wanna interrupt-”
“You’re hopeless,” Sam teased as he brought his fingers to his mouth to let out a shrill cab whistle. You turned, and Sam caught your attention, beckoning you over with two fingers.
“Hiya fellas,” you said, and Steve frowned a little at the sultry voice you put on. “What can I help you with?”
“Just another round of drinks, sugar. Oh- and-” Sam leaned to whisper something in your ear and Steve noticed your eyes widening a little before your gaze snapped to him, a small smile on your painted lips.
“Of course,” you responded to Sam. “I’ll be back with your drinks shortly.”
As you turned to leave, Steve frowned at Sam. “What did you tell her,” he asked.
“Oh nothing much. Just mentioned that THE Captain America was looking for a little bit of fun tonight.”
Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a groan. “Sam you dumbass.”
“Hey, he’s doing more about it than you,” Bucky interjected. “Sometimes it’s just sad watching you when you just sit and do - oh shit here she’s comes.”
“Alright, and I’ve got another round of drinks,” you said cheerfully while distributing the glasses. “And you, Mr. Rogers…” You sat on one of Steve’s thick thighs while placing your hands on the collar of his button up shirt and smoothing it down. “You’re friend told me you’re lookin’ for something… special tonight?”
Steve’s throat was dry and he was sure you could feel his heart practically beating out of his chest. “Oh well...I um-I.”
“What Mr. Womanizer would like to say is that he accepts your offer,” Sam offered, and Steve shot him what was probably the one-hundredth dirty look of the night.
“Well then.” You got off his lap and tugged on his arm. “I’d be happy to oblige.”
________________________________________________________________
Half an hour later, Steve returned a mess. The first few buttons of button up were undone, his hair was tousled, his cheeks flushed, and his heart hadn’t stopped racing.
“Good time?” Bucky inquired with a smirk.
Steve could barely form any words other than ‘where’s Sam’ to which Bucky pointed to the crowd of sweaty dancing bodies where Sam was shamelessly grinding on some woman.
“Oh God, I need a drink.” Steve fixed his hair with one hand while the other dipped into his pocket to retrieve a flask of Asgardian liquor Thor had given him.
“Was she that good?” 
“Well yes, but it wasn’t just the dance. It was her,”  Steve answered while burying his face in his hands. He felt like the scrawny kid from Brooklyn again. Completely flustered as he chased after a girl totally out of his league. “I don’t know Buck, she’s just-she’s just perfect.”
“Stevie, look around you. Every woman here is practically perfect. And they’re goddesses. That girl is just a girl.”
“No it’s just- you don’t understand. She’s just…” Steve let out an exasperated sigh and Bucky’s eyes softened.
“Wow you really like her don’t ya?” Steve just nodded in reply. “Well what if we came back again when she’s working?”
“No that wouldn’t work,” Steve said. “But...I think I have an idea.”
“And am I involved in this idea at all?”
“Maybe.” Steve laughed at his friend who groaned.
Steve then continued to explain his plan. He pointed out the coworker you had been friendly with when he first saw you, and asked Bucky to get some information out of her since he was the less recognizable out of the two. Steve needed to see you again. Not just that...he needed you. You were just so perfect for him, and Steve knew that the moment he laid eyes on you. The genuineness of your smile and laugh, just the way you were so authentic amidst your surroundings just showed you didn’t really belong in this environment or even this time period of imitation and phonies. But you belonged with him. And he’d preserve that authenticity. 
Bucky just simply nodded, and at first Steve was nervous that his best friend was going to call him crazy, but after a bit, Bucky got up and snatched Steve’s flask while flashing him a grin.
“Bout time we got you a girl, huh pal?”
Steve sighed in relief, and as Bucky trotted off, he went to find Sam.
Steve explained to Sam that he was gonna go home while Bucky worked some “wingman magic” and Sam started letting out fits of laughter at how THE Captain America was ‘down bad’. 
Finally, after Sam had finally calmed down, he wished him goodbye and headed home.
He had some things to take care of.
________________________________________________________________
As Steve guided his hand up and down his shaft, all he could think about was you.
Your tits, your ass that had ground on his crotch at the club, your red lips around he imagined on his cock. You’d probably use your skilled hands as well, not being able to fit his entire member into your mouth. 
Steve’s thoughts didn’t stop there.
He thought about how your hips moved while in the private dance room. He thought about how although you were undeniably sexy, you were also so kind to him, once in a while asking if everything was okay and if he wanted anything else from you. He thought about how you simply smiled and let out your angelic laugh as Steve fumbled and stuttered, simply putting your hands over his and telling him everything was okay and he could sit back and relax, not having to take charge after a long day of commanding people. The light pink color of your lingerie was so beautifully innocent as your body moved lewdly in contrast. And he loved it.
Steve came with a shout to the image ingrained in his mind.
________________________________________________________________
A few minutes after Steve had cleaned up and taken a much needed cold shower, he received a call from Bucky.
“You’re right,” Bucky’s voice spoke through the phone. “Two drops of that Asgardian shit and she was completely mentally clocked out. Told me everything about your girl.” 
As Bucky told Steve your name, Steve tried it out on his tongue for himself.
“Also told me a little bit of a little side job they got goin on. Your girl’s a bit of a criminal, Stevie. Sure you still want her?”
“I’m sure she has her reasons.”
“Well you’re right in that actually. According to...Bella-yeah I think that’s her name-,” Bucky recounted. “They steal from people to pay for rent and art school. And I just so happened to tell her about some skeevy old timer government worker who happened to be loaded from scamming low income taxpayers. Who also happens to live at your address.”
“Wait, you want her to rob me?!” Steve exclaimed.
“Will you just let me finish?” Bucky took Steve’s silence as an opportunity to continue. “I told Bella no one would be home while your girl does the job, but obviously you’ll be home so she can’t get away. She’s literally coming to you on a silver platter pal. Could it get any better than that?”
Steve took a moment to consider the situation before replying. “You’re right. Thanks pal. I really owe you one.”
Bucky chuckled. “Well I got one hell of a blow job so I’ll say we’re almost even. Anyway, she’ll be comin in a week, so that’ll give you plenty of time to prepare.”
_______________________________________________________________
You awoke slowly to sunlight streaming through your apartment window, your bed feeling more comfortable than usual, and a warm arm wrapped around your-
What the hell?
Your body thrashed as you jolted awake and flung yourself away from the body next to you in the bed that very much wasn’t yours in the apartment that was always not yours. Steve Rogers just sat up on his elbows and gave a groggy smile at your frazzled state.
“Mornin’ sweetheart.”
You recalled your memory, trying to see if this was some sort of drunken hookup, and it all came back to you. The heist, him coming home early.
“Didn’t mother ever tell you stealing is wrong?” were the words he had said before he had grabbed your hair in an iron grip and smashed your head on the near coffee table. Everything was black after that.
“Oh my God...you,” you began to back away from him.
“I what, sweetheart?” he mused. “Last time I checked, this is my apartment, and you were the one breaking and entering.”
You scrambled backwards off the bed, but just as you were about to reach the bedroom door, something cold and hard pulled against your ankle causing you to topple face first onto his carpet. Turning your head, you observed a metal cuff secured around your ankle with a chain leading back to the foot of the bed. 
Steve used the time you took panicking and hyperventilating to get out of bed and leisurely stretch his arms as if this was a normal occurrence. He approached you cautiously as if you were a wild animal and bent down to softly cup your face with a large hand.
“It’s okay, doll, I didn’t hurt you. Just let you sleep a bit before I caught you up to speed today.”
“Did- did you…,” you sniffled at the thought of what that man could’ve done to you while you slept.
“No. God no!” You nerves calmed a little bit as you were reassured that America’s hero was still the gentlemanly golden boy you met at the club. That was before he tilted your chin to meet his sinister gaze. “I wanted our first time to be while you were awake.”
Your heart dropped. This man was crazy.
You began to frantically yank at the chain on your ankle and your breathing became shorter.
“Hey. Hey! Stop it!” he urged before grabbing both of your hands and holding them in a steel grip. “Listen. I know this is all..new...but you need me. And I need you. When I saw you at the club, you were just so perfect. You’re not like those other women. You don’t belong there. You don’t belong in this life. I can take care of you. I will take care of you.” A tear slipped from your eye at his words but he just brushed it away with his thumb and continued. “You just don’t understand yet. When I saw you, I just knew you were meant for me. You’re perfect, doll.”
All you did was stare at him in disbelief and mutter, “You’re crazy.”
He went to soothe you again and brush a lock of hair away from your face, but you thrashed and said it louder.
“You’re crazy, you’re fucking crazy!”
“Doll, you don’t understand. I love you. And you’ll love me. I promise just give it some time and-”
“No you’re deranged. You’re FUCKING DELIRIOUS!!” you screech as your hand shot out and slapped him across the cheek.
The room went dead silent. You froze, and so did he. You had just slapped Steve Rogers across the face. You slapped the pure muscle mass six foot super soldier and called him delirious, and he looked hurt. His face was painted with a heartbroken look of regret, disbelief, and sorrow. But not from the slap. It’s like your words had hit him like a ten-ton truck, and for a second you saw doubt flicker across his eyes as if realizing that everything he imagined was in his head. And in that doubt was your hope. Your hope that this man would come to his senses and let you go.
“Steve...please, you have to realize this is wrong,” you said softly as he gave you a broken look. In that look you saw the scrawny kid from Brooklyn in the 1940s who only knew rejection, and your heart broke just a little bit. “What you’re feeling...it isn’t love.”
All of a sudden his demeanor changed. Any doubt in his eyes was wiped away in a nanosecond and replaced by a fierce look of determination. His face contorted into a snarl as he yanked you up with him by your hair and spun you around to press your front against the well.
“You dumb bitch,” he growled into your ear. “You think you don't need me when you’re a pathetic thief who whores herself out every night.”
You writhed in his hold but he just gripped your hair harder and let out a breathy laugh.
“You know...for someone like you to stoop so low as to work at that club...it makes me think. You wanna be treated like a whore?” he seethed. “Fine. I’ll treat you like a whore.”
a/n: don’t worry I don’t think working at a strip club is “low” at all. just some classic sexist bs from our good old 1940′s fav
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Text
Take Me, I’m Yours
(the highest voted options on the poll were ‘Geralt rescues Jaskier from trouble’ and ‘Jaskier riles the Captain up in public’ so I teamed up with the ever-marvelous, stupendously talented @limrx to bring you this Swashbuckling AU oneshot/art piece featuring a horribly jealous Geralt and a frisky, flirty Jaskier)
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“Do you think he likes me back?” Jaskier asked. He leaned over the ship’s railing to look more closely at the dolphin following behind them. Lambert didn’t think he’d fall overboard but it would be kind of funny if he did. The strange young nobleman did have a way of always landing on his feet, though. 
“I know he does.”
“Well how come he hasn’t told me anything about it, then?” 
“You’ve met the Captain, right? About this tall, long white hair, weird yellow eyes, emotionally incompetant?” 
“You have a good point. Should I just confront him about it?”
“Yeah, sure.” Lambert rolled his eyes before shooting Jaskier a pointed look. “If you want to send your ransom note back to Lettenhove the following morning.”
“Fuck. I just want to kiss him, Lambert. Regularly. I want to know if he snores or not. I want to lay on the deck beneath the stars and talk to him like we’re friends and not just pirate and pseudo-pirate-captive. I really want to see what his ass looks like under those godsforsaken trousers, Lambert, it’s killing me not knowing.”
“You’re more insatiable than a siren during the rainy season,” the second mate teased. “But with fewer teeth.”
“Shut up.”
“Are you going ashore when we lay anchor?”
“Am I allowed?”
“I assume you’ll be allowed. You’re practically part of the crew. You’ve been aboard for nearly two weeks and you’ve pulled your fair share of the weight, if not moreso.”
“Why thank you, Lambert. I appreciate you noticing.”
“Of course, Jaskier. You may be an utter fool and a fop to boot, but at least you’re a hard worker.”
“Asshole.”
“Mhm.”
They both watched the dolphins for a minute in silence before Jaskier’s face split into the most heinous and dastardly grin. It filled Lambert with an unmistakable sense of fear and worry. “I have a brilliant idea. I know how to get Geralt to admit his feelings.”
“No, absolutely not. I am not getting roped into this, you horrible little minx. Don’t give me that look! I won’t help you this time!”
“But Lamby-bert,” Jaskier whined. “If he has someone to take all his frustrations out on in bed then I’m sure it’ll be easier to negotiate for higher shares next time we take a vessel.”
Lambert did not miss the fact that Jaskier said ‘we’ when referring to the crew. The second mate knew the little nobleman was here to stay; it had been clear that Jaskier would be sticking around from the moment Geralt first laid eyes (and hands) on him. The Captain hadn’t stopped looking out for the lad since. Lambert wasn’t even going to think about that singular flirty kiss atop the mainmast nearly a week and a half ago. Geralt had been pining after the acrobatic little idiot ever since and making absolutely no move to flirt back. It was driving the crew absolutely crazy. “Alright, you devilish siren. I’m in.”
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Jaskier cleaned up nice.
And he deserved to clean up nice. He’d worked hard to put this outfit together. Billy had lent him a pair of dark blue breeches in return for Jaskier’s help with mending the mainsail. The shirt he was wearing was half a size too big, which was exactly big enough for the neckline to plunge even lower than he usually wore it. This way it revealed more of his toned (and rather hirsute) chest. He’d borrowed it from Starkey, who was the same height as him but who had much broader shoulders.
The Captain was going to absolutely die when he saw Jaskier.
He whistled a rather naughty shanty as he exited the bunk room and made his way towards the gangplank where Starkey, Lambert, and Eskel were waiting for him. He spun in a quick circle, arms out to show off his clothes. Lambert and Starkey whistled appreciatively and Eskel hid his face in the palm of his hand. “Ready, boys?”
“Absolutely not,” Starkey smiled. The first mate standing next to him tilted his head back to look at the sky, sighing deeply.
“Are you sure about this? What if the Captain tries to kill Lambert?”
“He won’t be killing anyone. Hopefully. If he does run his sword through anyone, it will most likely be me,” Jaskier joked. “Now, this is my first time drinking with real pirates. Anything I should know?”
“Don’t be an idiot,” Eskel suggested. Lambert bit back a laugh and Starkey snorted.
“Impossible.”
“Well then, let’s go.”
The four men made their way down onto the docks and through the sparse crowd of sailors and merchants still mingling in the evening light. Starkey led them to a decent tavern and found a vacant corner table, which gave them an excellent view of the door.
Geralt and Starkey had spent the morning selling their stolen cargo to various merchants, shopkeepers, and artisans. The Captain had divided up the gold between his crew according to their various contracts and Jaskier, more as a jest than anything else, was given two crowns as well. “For not dying,” Geralt had intoned seriously. The men were amused but Jaskier’s face had gone bright red with embarrassment. The young noble had talked them out of trouble with the Skelligan patrols twice last week and Geralt was repaying him with public humiliation? Lambert knew that the Captain’s earlier actions were about to make this evening a lot more entertaining (if slightly uncomfortable) and he was ready to get this show on the road. He flung an arm around Jaskier’s waist and ordered them all a round of ales.
“So everyone knows what the general goal here is, right?” Jaskier clarified.
“Yes,” Eskel nodded. “You’re using Geralt’s jealous nature to make him act on his less than subtle feelings for you.”
“Correct. Wonderful.”
Lambert squeezed the noble’s hip through his borrowed pants and Jaskier huffed indignantly in reply. Starkey chuckled softly at their antics and winked at the barmaid when she brought them their drinks. “Can’t wait, really. It’s been so boring lately and the last two ships we took didn’t even fight back. This is drama. This is entertainment!”
“Shut up, Starkey,” Jaskier pouted. He leaned back into Lambert’s embrace and gulped down half his ale.
“Slow down, kid,” the first mate teased. “Or you will be drunk when he gets here and your plan won’t work.”
“I need to get the pink in my cheeks or I’ll look suspicious,” Jaskier argued. “One ale should do it without getting me tipsy. Maybe two if it’s weak.”
“Method actors,” Lambert rolled his eyes.
Jaskier was sipping slowly at his second ale and the other three pirates were on their fourth or fifth when Geralt finally came barreling through the tavern door. “There you are!” Eskel shouted, waving the Captain over. Nobody missed the barely-hidden glare Geralt aimed at Lambert’s arm where it rested against the nobleman’s lower back.
“Captain,” the second mate nodded.
“Lambert. Eskel. Starkey.” Geralt greeted them all in turn.
“Heyyyy,” Jaskier whined, leaning forward against the edge of the table and pouting. “What about me, sir?”
“You.”
“Rude,” the brunette huffed. Lambert ran a lazy hand up and down his spine and Jaskier watched as Geralt’s eyes narrowed into slits. He sighed sadly and melodramatically into his mug and nodded once in the second mate’s direction. “Thank you, darling. At least someone in this crew likes me.”
Starkey saw Geralt’s eyelid twitch and slid Eskel two crowns under the table to settle their bet. He thought the vein on their Captain’s throat would show up before the eyelid went, but it must have been the first mate’s lucky night this time around. “Hey Eskel, let’s see if any of the lovely ladies here want to dance with us, eh?”
“You coming, Captain?” Eskel asked. “Seems like Jaskier and Lambert are a bit busy.”
“Yes, Geralt,” Jaskier egged him on. The Captain had a white-knuckled grip on the handle of his mug. The noble took a long swig of ale and licked a bit of foam from his lip when he was finished, noting the way Geralt’s eyes locked onto his mouth. “Why not go dance with a pretty lady. Certainly nobody else has your attention.”
The pirate Captain finally snapped. He slammed his mug down and reached around the table to grab Jaskier around the waist. He hauled him out of the second mate’s grip and onto his feet. “Captain, what are yo-”
“Yer coming with me, siren,” Geralt snarled. Lambert relinquished the nobleman with very little fuss, winking at Jaskier as the pirate Captain swung him up and over his broad shoulder. The young man flashed all three of his co-conspirators a thumbs up as he was carried out of the tavern like a sack of potatoes.
“A little rude to Lambert, don’t you think, sir?” he asked, resting his elbow against Geralt’s shoulder blade and settling his chin onto his hand. He crossed his ankles to make it easier for the pirate to balance his weight comfortably. “But they’ll be happy to know that our little plan worked out.”
Geralt stopped in his tracks but did not set his captive down. “Your what?”
“Our plan,” Jaskier explained as if bored. “To get you to finally do something about all this sexual tension between us. I kissed you on the mouth for fuck’s sake.”
“I thought it was an accident.”
“Oh, and saving you from hanging at the hands of some Skelligan officers, was that an accident? Not sending a ransom note last time we stopped for water and not turning you in for the reward in Novigrad, were those accidents too? There is a hefty bounty on your head, White Wolf, and I could be living independently in a castle somewhere right now except that I happen to find you endlessly attractive and fascinating.”
“Hmm.” Geralt resumed walking. Jaskier noticed with a smirk that his pace had picked up quite a bit. As if he was suddenly in a hurry to be somewhere.
“Hum dismissively all you like, sir, but you’re still carrying me back to your cabin to ravish me senseless, are you not?”
“Ravish may be the wrong word for what I’d like to do to you, but you do look rather tempting.”
“Thank you. I put a lot of effort into this ensemble.”
“You’re a calculating little nymph, aren’t you?”
“No, of course not. I only managed to secure a bunk aboard the Kaer Morhen and wrap its infamous captain around my finger in less than a month. I am but a silly nobleman with excellent dexterity and a penchant for climbing.”
“Lambert was right to call you a minx.”
“He does love that nickname.”
“It’s not an endearment.”
“Whatever.” The ground shifted and Jaskier knew they were making their way up the gangplank and back onto the ship. This was the part he’d been waiting for! Geralt kicked in his cabin door and stepped inside, turning to close and lock it behind them. Jaskier wriggled impatiently. “Set me down!”
“Hmm, no. I rather like the view from here.”
“Excuse me?”
Geralt gave him a gentle smack on the ass, almost a pat really, and huffed out a laugh at Jaskier’s offended noise. “You’ve been an awful lot of trouble for a nobleman and a captive.”
“I’m barely a captive, Geralt. Give it up already.”
“You haven’t signed the book.” He set Jaskier back on his feet and looped his arms around the younger man’s waist to pull him close. “You’re still a captive until you swear on the book and sign your name next to the others. Then you’ll be part of my crew.”
“I have yet to negotiate for my shares,” the brunette stated. He tilted his chin back, baring his neck slightly and offering Geralt his ale-damp lips. “Ten crowns after every capture and I get to sleep in here with you. That sounds fair.”
“You’re a good worker. Seven crowns, you can sleep in here with me, and you can borrow my bandannas whenever you want.”
“Even the red one?”
“Especially the red one.”
Jaskier’s soft pink mouth brushed against the pirate’s as he murmured his answer: “Deal.”
Geralt’s lips crashed against Jaskier’s with the strength of a wave hitting the side of his ship in a maelstrom. The Captain’s mouth was so warm and his lips moved against the younger man’s with almost frightening determination. As if he was trying to prove himself. His arms were strong around the nobleman’s lower back and his white hair brushed deliciously against the skin of Jaskier’s neck.
“You’ve bewitched me, body and soul.”
“Oh, Geralt,” the younger man sighed, opening his mouth to let the other in. I never thought the word ‘plunder’ could apply to kissing but here I stand, corrected by experience yet again. The White Wolf of the Seven Seas pulled away, made breathless by a young and foolish nobleman in search of adventure.
“I’m not a siren, you know. Not even a little. My family’s estate is landlocked.”
Geralt’s fingers rose from his waist and brushed against his cheekbone reverently. Those amber eyes, so cold and focused when he shouted orders or intimidated a merchant captain, were looking down at Jaskier with such devoted tenderness. The ex-noble felt his heart fill anew and double in size. There wasn’t enough room in his body to hold all of this feeling.
“Kiss me again, Captain. Take me to bed.”
“You’re too good at tempting me. You must be evil.”
“I assure you,” Jaskier smirked, ripping Geralt’s shirt over his head in one smooth movement. “I am.”
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mandoalorian · 3 years ago
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Borrowed Time [Din Djarin x F!Reader] SMUT
ੈ♡˳‧₊*: • Chapter 8: The Truth ✩࿐ ˚.✧
Summary: You are the princess of Mandalore, held hostage on your own planet by Moff Gideon and his army of Imperial troopers. Left with no choice, you send out a distress signal; a plea for protection— and who comes? None other than Din Djarin, a foundling of The Death Watch. He, by creed, is your sworn enemy. And where you have asked for his protection, he has been told by his mentor that he must marry you and gain the ability to restore Mandalore to its former glory.
Word Count: 2200>
Warnings: more angst and feelings! 18+ SMUT; unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it), f receiving oral, fingering… very soft sex andddd a praise kink because it’s Din’s first time giving oral :’)
AN: Please reblog to spread this around! It’s not showing up in tags! i think i’m still semi-shadow banned:(
Series Masterlist
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Din didn’t say anything for a long time. He didn’t understand. Not the Manda’lor? How could that be possible? If you weren’t the Manda’lor, then... who were you? As if you were reading his thoughts, you closed your eyes and turned around so you were facing the brick wall behind you, and tried your very best to explain the truth. You had to at least make an attempt. You ignored the choked nervous knot in your throat. You couldn’t bear to look at him.
How could you ever even begin to explain this to him. You’d never spoken about what happened back on Mandalore to anyone. You’d kept it to yourself all this time. It was so painful. But you had to try.
“My mother was Duchess Satine Kryze, and I am, by technicality, the Princess of Mandalore. I always will be. When my mother died, fifteen years ago, I became heir to the throne. I became the Manda’lor, and... everything was fine. I had everything under control, and, dare I say, I was a good leader. Until one night, there was a planned attack by the Imperials on my city and they slaughtered everyone. They raided homes and killed children…” a single tear slipped down your cheek. “Moff Gideon came to see me. He wanted… the darksaber. So he had his troopers raid the palace and they found it. And once he wielded it, he became the rightful ruler of Mandalore. And, I still don’t have it back… I’ve-- I’ve never felt so helpless. And responsible for the murder of my people.”
You were crushed. You thought by admitting all of this, it would take the giant burden you’d been holding this entire time off your shoulders, but it didn’t. It only made you dread all the built up pain and anguish you had in your heart… for letting this happen and for lying to Din. You really had failed everyone around you, but most importantly, you’d failed yourself.
Bringing your hand to your wedding ring, you twiddled it around your finger and took a shaky exhale. “Din, I understand if you want nothing to do with me anymore. I can leave, and you’ll never see me again. I promise you that much. But I will get the darksaber back and I will be the rightful ruler of Mandalore. These were my people he killed. He stole it from me. And I won’t let the Imperial’s take anymore than they already have. Not without a fight.”
Compiling all the remaining bravery left in you, you turned back around to face Din and opened your eyes.
And your heart stopped.
His eyes were big and brown and sad. He had short, shaggy brown hair and a light stubble which grazed his jaw. His pink lips were parted slightly as he looked at you with his own eyes. No visor modifying his vision of you. This was raw, and completely him. He’d taken off his helmet.
You tried to ask him why, but no words came out.
“So that’s why the Imperials were chasing after you?” His jaw ticked but Maker, his voice without the helmet was as soft as silk. Rich and velvety.
He was handsome too. More handsome than you could’ve ever even imagined. In a rugged way, not in your typical Prince of Mandalore way. But you liked it a lot.
“Yes,” you swallowed thickly. “Moff Gideon imprisoned me in the palace and he never wanted me to leave. He made me promise to never tell anyone that he had the darksaber, because no doubt, any Mandalorian who found out the truth would venture after him to try and reclaim it for themselves. I was forced to live this lie. But I had to do something. That’s when I sent out the distress signal to coverts around the galaxy. That’s when you came for me, and helped me escape.”
Din tried his hardest to process your words. It… made sense. His gaze fell from your face and he looked down at the ground. He looked so sad and your heart ached. If there was a way you could fix this, you were pretty sure you’d do anything. In that very moment, you didn’t even care about the Mandalorian throne or the darksaber. You just cared about Din.
“Din, I’m so sorry.” you began, preparing to fully beg for his forgiveness, but before you could say anymore, his lips came crashing into yours.
He didn’t have anything to say to you, really. He was just so enamoured by you, that he didn’t care. You could lie to him a million times over and he’d forgive you, because you were just too perfect. You were, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. And he loved you.
He should be mad, he knew that much. But he couldn’t bring himself to hate you when all he could think about was just how beautiful your lips were. The entire time you were talking, he was fighting the urge to kiss you. Until finally, he just couldn’t resist anymore.
His mouth was soft and fit perfectly against yours. Your eyes snapped shut and a surprised moan fell from your lips as he took you in his arms and held you. You loved the way it felt… his hands on your body and caressing your skin. Was this… the first time he’d kissed? He was so passionate yet gentle, and Maker, you didn’t want it to end. He was absolutely gorgeous, and such an amazing kisser. When you thought he was going to break away, you raised your hands to his face and cupped his cheeks, swiping your tongue over his lower lip and signalling for him to continue the kiss. He did so, and you opened your mouth, granting him deeper access.
A minute or so later, when the both of you were practically gasping for breath, he pulled off you and rested his forehead against yours. If he was unsure about his feelings before, he knew for certain now.
“We’ll have to leave at dawn,” Din said eventually, huffing and looking into your eyes. His hands were still planted firmly on your hips and he nudged his nose against yours. “There’ll be less Imps around, the earlier we leave.”
You were baffled. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”
“We’re getting the darksaber back,” he confirmed. “You’re getting the darksaber back. You are the rightful ruler of Mandalore.”
You couldn’t believe it. He still wanted to help you, even after admitting to him that you’d been lying. He no longer had a duty to protect you, and yet he was doing this not because he had to, but because he wanted to.
“Are you sure?” you gasped, completely exasperated. “Are you sure you still want to help me?”
Din nodded his head wordlessly before kissing you again. “We should rest before our escape tomorrow,” Din breathed. “I have a room here.”
“Take me.” you begged, curling your body into his.
Din’s room at the covert was no different to the many other rooms that were habited by other Mandalorians. It was a small boxy room with a bed in the corner. At least it was a real bed though, and not Din’s poor excuse for a bed back on the Crest. He closed the door behind him and turned on the light, although it wasn’t bright whatsoever. It barely illuminated the room in this dull, amber colour, but it was just enough to cast your shadows on the wall.
You gulped, not tearing your eyes from him once. “I think you’re very handsome,” you blurted out, smiling when you noticed a rosy blush cross Din’s cheeks. “And I think it’s a real shame that you have to hide your face. I just know that those brown eyes could charm you out of trouble.”
Din chuckled nervously. “I think you’re very pretty too,” he said. “But you probably hear that a lot.”
You shook your head, the smile never leaving your lips once. “No.”
When Din kissed you, it felt like heaven. As the moment became more and more heated, both of you ended up undressing, and discarding your clothing and his armour into a pile on the floor.
Din carefully laid you down on his bed and hovered over you, planting kisses down your neck, along your collarbones and down your chest. He brought his hand over to your breasts and began with giving them a few experimental squeezes. He brushed his thumb over your hardening nipple and pinched it, earning a moan of pleasure from you.
Not taking his lips from yours, he dropped his hand down your body and to the hem of your panties, dipping his finger under the waistband and feeling just how wet you’d already become. He chuckled to himself, his thick and deft index finger tracing quick and tight circles across your clit. You arched your back into him, a foggy haze crossing your vision as he worked you into a complete state of euphoria.
You chanted his name like it was a prayer, caressing his biceps and holding onto him. After he drew out your first orgasm, he tapped on your thigh. You lifted up your ass so he could pull down your panties and take them off completely. You were an absolute sight to behold, there was no denying that. Your folds were slick with your arousal and Din done everything he could to contain himself. Licking his lips, he knelt down between your legs and began to lap his tongue around your bundle of nerves, even sucking occasionally on your sweet spot.
“Does-- does that feel good?” Din asked, briefly pausing just before you were about to cum again. Your legs were shaking with pleasure and Din just wanted to make sure you were alright. “I’m-- I’ve never done this before.” he confessed.
“Oral?” you asked breathlessly, rolling your head into the pillow.
“Mhm,” he confirmed, nibbling and pressing lovebites into the soft flesh of your thighs. “Never took off my helmet.”
You moaned something incoherent when the curve of his nose rubbed against your clit and you felt the warmth of his breath fan over your core.
“It’s good Din, so good,” you sighed longingly. “You’re doing so good. Please don’t stop.”
So Din kept at it until eventually you were a heaving, quivering mess, and he drove out your second orgasm. When he pulled away from you, a trail of his saliva pulled between your wet cunt and his lips, but he immediately licked himself clean and leaned over your body so he could kiss you again. The way you could taste yourself on his mouth felt so erotic.
You pulled his hard and leaking cock from the confines of his underwear and began to pump at his length. He was hot and heavy, and somehow, he was even better than you had imagined. Even as you stroked him, you yearned for him, and you could feel your cunt clench around nothing as you wished for him to fuck you already.
Din loved how you were a needy, squirming mess beneath him. He positioned himself at your entrance and slowly pushed his engorged tip inside of you, taking a few moments to allow you to adjust to his length. The wet noises as he thrusted into you were lewd and obscenely loud, and if you were with anyone else you might’ve felt embarrassed -- but as Din built up his rhythm and held on to your hips, you couldn’t even think straight enough to feel embarrassed.
“Din,” you cried out, letting your fingers curl in his brown locks of hair. “Oh Din.”
His own hips began to stutter and with a loud gasp, you felt his cock convulse inside of you and a spurt of his creamy hot seed rope your walls.
Din let himself soften inside of you as he caught his breath, eventually rolling off you and laying by your side. He wrapped his arms around you and spooned you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear until eventually, you fell asleep in his arms.
“You will reclaim Mandalore,” he whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. “I promise.”
_________________________________________
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alpacaparkaseok · 4 years ago
Text
The Pact - Shocker
Pairing/Genre: OT7 BTS x reader (not poly), idol!BTS, best friend BTS
Word Count: 8.1k
Premise: The truth about the pact the boys have about you has been revealed. What happens when you agree to go on a single date with each of them?
Warnings: angst, lots of feelings, but a lot of those are fluffy, happy feelings lol
a/n: there’s not much left so say except for thank you. I hope you enjoy, I tried my best!
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Shocker (finale)
series masterlist
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“Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.” -George Orwell ‘1984’
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Sunday, 3:12 am – immediately following the events of date #7
           The fact that the lights are still on isn’t surprising in the least. It’s been like this after every date. Yoongi is no exception, apparently.
           He pauses outside the door, resting his hand gently against the doorknob. It’s nearly silent, but he can hear familiar voices speaking in hushed tones on the other side of the door. He stares at the dark door, unable to shake the memory of your tear-stained cheeks and swollen ankle from his mind. You had sounded so worried, so afraid of what comes next.
           You’d mumbled out his name when you made it to your bed, the exhaustion on your face momentarily replaced with a look he could only interpret as blind fear. And the way you’d looked at him, wide eyed with a quivering lip…he doesn’t think you noticed, but he nearly caved. He almost laid down beside you and taken you into his arms, deeming the time on the beach not enough.
           With you, it was never enough. Slivers of time and longing looks you never noticed; it would never be enough.
           If the botched date wasn’t evidence enough, it was then, when you gazed up at him and mumbled out his name, Yoongi knew.
           Tonight…it wasn’t enough.
           So he just leaned forward and watched how your eyes fluttered shut as he pecked your nose.
           “I know.”
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          Jungkook straightens up from where he was slumped on the couch beside Jin the second the door opens and Yoongi walks in. The scattered conversation that they had all been using as a distraction fades out as each boy focuses in on the newcomer.
           Hobi is practically invisible beneath the huge sweatshirt he wears, his face barely visible as he speaks. “How was it?”
           For some reason or another, there’s always been a postdate analysis of sorts. It’s usually just like this: all of the boys gathered up in the living room in various states of consciousness. Jimin was the only one to slide by without an impromptu meeting after his date, partially because he was too exhausted to see straight and also because everyone knew he’d tell them all the details at breakfast the next morning. He did, and Taehyung actually managed to break a bowl when he lost it over the story of how you and Jimin got kicked out of the basilica.
           Namjoon, on the other hand, had been pretty grim when he realized that Jimin had been teasing you endlessly about your little kiss.
           Now, Yoongi shuffles inside and plops down unceremoniously beside Namjoon, who looks a little worried at the silence. Dropping his heads in his hands, Yoongi rubs at his face before leaning back against the couch.
           “It was fine, if you don’t count the twisted ankle.”
           “What?” Jimin sputter out, suddenly wide awake. “She got hurt?”
           “What happened?” Hobi follows up, leaning forward until he’s nearly slipping off of the couch. “Is she alright?”
           Yoongi is quick to explain your little accident, omitting your tears from the storytelling. He doesn’t want to embarrass you or make the others feel bad. The others listen with rapt attention, Jungkook’s mouth in a little ‘o’ all throughout.
           Jin remains silent on the couch, as he usually does during these little meetings. He’ll occasionally comment on something or voice a question, but he tends to remain fairly quiet. Drinking in the information, eyes clear despite the late hour.
           It’s unnerving.
           “So…it’s not a bad injury?” Namjoon asks, crossing his arms.
           “No, she’s fine,” Yoongi reassures. “Just tired. She went straight to bed after I dropped her off.”
           Taehyung grins knowingly. “Adorable.”
           Everyone is silent as everyone turns to their thoughts, the same thing on everyone’s mind. It’s Hobi again that breaks the silence, stretching and yawning as he gets to his feet.
           “Well, that’s that. It’s over. Gentlemen,” he eyes everyone around the room, shuffling toward the hallway where the warmth of his bed calls to him. “It’s been a pleasure working with you.”
           “Wait!” Jungkook also hops to his feet, much more alert than the older boy. “What happens now?”
           There are a few non-committal answers from around the room, but two people remain silent. Meeting eyes from across the space, Jin and Yoongi share a silent agreement.
           Jin clears his throat, and it’s only then that the boys realize that it’s been hours since he last spoke. With a soft smile he utters, “We let her choose. Whatever she wants, if she wants to go back to normal or decides to date someone.” His eyes return to Yoongi, and suddenly the memory of two years prior is laid out before them. “Then…we let her go.”
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           “I’m just saying, if he didn’t want you to find it, he would’ve hidden it in his underwear drawer. Sock drawer is a stupid way to go.”
           You sip at the horchata Gina brought over for you, huffing out a laugh. “You’re so weird.”
           Gina shrugs. “Just saying. So what did you get up to yesterday?”
           Yesterday. You had woken up with red eyes and puffy cheeks from all the crying you had done the night before. Slightly embarrassed but more feeling miserable for yourself, you had crawled to the shower and tried to get your thoughts straight.
           When you emerged, you had a couple of texts to welcome you. They were from Jimin and Taehyung, welcoming you back to the groupchat. There were plenty of happy emojis and balloons taking up the messages, enough to make you crack a smile. You shot back a thank you text, letting out a sigh of relief.
           It was good to be back.
           When Namjoon texted and tentatively asked about the state of your ankle and if you were open to them popping over, you took nearly an hour to decide. Nervous about seeing all of them, cautious because you had no idea what would happen if you were in the same room.
           Who would you radiate toward, without even realizing?
           It was then, when that question popped up, that you realized that you had known the answer all along.
           It was startling, how the answer had been there all along. So simple, yet so unattainable.  
           “The boys wanted to check in on me,” you sigh, glaring down at your ankle. It’s still sore, but much better today. Although it’s safe to say you won’t be flying kites anytime soon.
           “But…?”
           “The thought of all seven of them in my little apartment at the same time was overwhelming,” you admit. “I needed a minute. To think. And I know I’ve had weeks to think about it, but yesterday was the first time I felt like I could see the full picture…if that makes sense.”
           Gina nods thoughtfully, reaching over to refill your glass of horchata. The sun is steadily making its way to the horizon, another day wrapping up. “It does. You’ve been going out with someone different each week, you’re probably suffering from information overload after all of those dates and the confession on the pact…how are you not exhausted?”
           “I was yesterday. I was torn – Gina, I want to go back to normal so bad. Just the way it was.”
           “Ignorance is bliss.”
           You set your glass down, pushing back from the table and crossing your arms. “Wouldn’t that be better?” You muse. “That way, nobody gets hurt.”
           Gina tilts her head to one side, eyes flashing. A smirk forms on her face. “You wouldn’t be saying this if you hadn’t already decided on someone.” She leans forward in her seat, staring into your soul. “Who?”
           You school your features into a neutral position. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
           “No, no. You don’t get to shut me out. You have feelings for someone, don’t you!” Gina points an accusing finger at you, letting out a startled laugh. “You totally do! What went on in your head, yesterday? Or maybe you’ve loved them for a while, and this is what it took to realize it-”
           “I can’t do it, Gina.” Your eyes are wide as you plead more with yourself than her. “I can’t do that to the others.”
           “And what, you plan to just let him go?”
           Dropping your head into your hands, you squeeze your eyes shut. “Do I have another choice?”
           The scrape of the chair against the floor alerts you to Gina rising from her seat, and you expect her to leave. She has every right to, you’re frustrated with yourself as well. However, a second later she’s rubbing your back, urging you to look up. Once you do, she offers you a small smile.
           “You always have a choice.”
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           Gina stays for a couple more hours, offering her support as you blubber on about how worried you are. While your heart is urging you to throw caution to the wind and go after what you’ve wanted for longer than you ever realized before, your mind does a great job of conjuring up different reactions from the others.
           All of them are depressing. Every time you close your eyes you’re met with the crestfallen expressions of your best friends. Scenarios play out in your head, where you’re blissfully happy for a few seconds before everything comes tumbling down.
           “You’ve gotta get out of your head,” Gina chides as she eases off the couch. “You’re miserable.”
           You sigh, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s just…I can’t do anything. I can’t. That’s horrible of me.”
           “They’re grown boys; they knew what they were getting themselves into with this. Just…tell me something before I head out.”
           “…ok.”
           Gina pauses before the door, hands on her hips. “Why him? Because from where I’m sitting, they all love you.”
           The question takes you by surprise, but the answer is rolling off your tongue in an instant. “I want to be loved, yes. But more than that…I want to be understood.” You stare at a framed photo on the wall, solemn. “He understands me.”
           You don’t hear when Gina leaves, the thoughts in your head too loud. Instead you stay seated on the couch, chewing on your lip. Wondering.
           Remembering.
           All the times he’d been there – he was always there for you, how could you never notice? – never drawing attention to himself. Just there. Just in case you needed him.
           What’s stopping you?
           A knock on the door stops your train of thought, and you hobble up to your feet. Swinging the door open you say, “Did you forget something?”
           Jin stands on your porch, clutching a garment bag to his chest. His ears are bright red, set aflame by the setting sun. He’s wearing his glasses, which he pushes up on his nose. “I…no?”
           “Oh!” You step back, wincing a little from your ankle. “I thought you were Gina! I…hey.”
           “Hey.” Shuffling on his feet, Jin looks down at the bag he’s holding, seeming to remember why he was here in the first place. “Oh, here. I know it’s a little late, but I got your dress dry cleaned and…well, yeah. Here you go.”
           His hands tremble a bit, but you don’t comment as you take the bag from him. “Thank you. Your sweater is actually hanging up in my room…why don’t you come in while I grab it?”
           “Can I?” Jin looks down at your doorstep, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “I don’t want to intrude…”
           “Just come in!” You call over your shoulder, already heading down the hallway. “This will only take a second. Besides, it’s cold outside.”
           The door clicks shut, Jin stepping inside and shoving his hands in his pockets. You rush inside your room, throwing your dress on a hanger in the closet and scanning your clothes for Jin’s blue sweater. When you find it – grinning at the whale on the front – you pause. Holding it in your hands, you take a deep breath.
           “Hey,” Jin’s voice rings out down the hallway. You catch a slight tremble in his tone, which is mirrored by your shaking hands. “I a-actually wanted to talk to you for a second. If that’s ok…?”
           Clearing your voice of the emotion that’s riding you, you respond. “Just come down here.”
           A second later Jin is tentatively peeking inside your room, giving you a nervous smile. His eyes then land on your dresser, widening a bit.
           “So you did steal my copy!”
           Gasping, you toss Jin’s sweater at him and lunge for the dresser. There’s the pact, out in the open for anyone to see. “I- I was gonna give it back-”
           “I can’t believe you’d steal from me.”
           “It was for a good cause!”
           Jin rolls his eyes, laughing as he snatches the pact from you and holds it up in the air. “Nuh-uh, I’m taking this home with me. You’ve had it for long enough.” He makes a point of folding it up and sticking it in his back pocket, staring down at you with an amused expression.
           Suddenly you’re transported to his living room, dancing in his arms. Staring up at him like he put the stars in the sky while he looks at you like you’re the forbidden fruit.
           Is that why he’s here, now? To finally give in to the temptation?
           From the way the smile slides off his lips, you can tell that he’s remembering the same moment. His mouth opens a bit, looking as though he’s about to speak. After a moment, it shuts. Then he slowly reaches out, arms encircling you as he studies your expression. Waiting for any moment of discomfort.
           The second Jin pulls you into his embrace and you rest your head against his chest, his shoulders deflate and he lets out a long sigh.
           It’s not a sigh of relief.
           “Do you remember the first time we hung out together? Jimin wanted to bring you to the Spring Day set, and it was freezing. We were all complaining about our toes falling off and yelling at Namjoon for writing about such a cold song.”
           You chuckle, nodding. Jin’s voice rumbles through his chest as he continues. “I thought that it was so embarrassing, too. We were complaining like kids in front of Jimin’s pretty friend. I figured that you’d never want to hang out with us again. I’ll never forget how angry Jimin was with us after, saying that we were probably making you uncomfortable. Obviously, we all said that it was stupid of him to bring you to a freezing music video set for our first meeting.”
           Jin tightens his grip, laying his cheek atop your head and swaying gently back and forth. You’re not sure if he even realizes that he does it, but you don’t ask. Not as he’s walking down memory lane. It feels like it’s been centuries since you first met.
           “You know what I remember the most about you from that day?”
           You hum, nuzzling in a little closer. Hanging on for just a moment longer.
           “You never complained. Like, at all.” Jin cups your chin, making you look up at him. He smiles softly, but his eyes are sad. “I thought it was a superpower or something, seriously. You just smiled and joked around with Jungkook and Tae. If you were cold or uncomfortable or even weirded out by us, you didn’t say anything.”
           You roll your eyes, latching your hands behind Jin’s back. “I was definitely weirded out, but I didn’t want Jimin to feel bad. He was so excited for me to meet you guys.”
           Jin chuckles, the sound momentarily warming you up. “But the point is, you didn’t complain. You’ve always been like that. Even now, being dragged on seven dates and having to deal with us figuring out our own feelings, you never once complained. You never backed away.”
           The sadness that lingers in Jin’s eyes has you tightening your hold, wondering how to get rid of that sorrow. Your train of thought is interrupted when Jin brushes back a strand of hair, softly tucking it behind your ear.
           “You are beautiful and a wonder. You will always be important to me, no matter where life takes us. You will always be that person that I’ll drop everything for, ok?” Jin takes another long, adoring look at you before reaching behind him and gathering your hands in his. He slowly pulls away from you, staring down at where he holds your hands. “I might be an idiot at times, but I can tell when I’m in the way.”
           As he takes a step back, you watch as he drops your hands. “Jin, wait,” you reach out, grasping his arm as he moves to turn away. “Jin- Seokjin, what’s going on-”
           “You and Yoongi have that in common, did you know that?” Jin offers you a close-lipped smile, placing his hand on yours where you cling to his jacket. His thumb swipes over your knuckles once – twice – before he’s stepping back yet again. “Neither of you are complainers. I mean sure, there’s the funny complaints that everyone makes. But he has a penchant for suffering silently. I’d say he’s a bit of a masochist, but that’d be a lie. He just cares.”
           Jin has made it to your doorway now, where he pauses and leans against the doorframe. He crosses his arms, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought, a faraway look in his eyes. “I think he doesn’t know what to do with it, all those feelings. He just cares so much, about everyone. For you.”
           “Jin,” you gasp out, “what are you doing?”
           One corner of his lips pull up in a smirk. “Me?” He shifts his weight to his other leg. “Letting go.”
           “What are you even talking about?”
           “Don’t get me wrong, I intend to complain. You’ll get an official complaint in the mail soon enough, just give it three to five business days to get here. But I realized something a little while ago: complainers always find some new to complain about. And while that sucks, it also means that they move on. They find something new, no matter how long it takes.”
           He keeps looking at you with that sad smile, and it’s ripping the ground out from under you. You want to scream, throw something, or perhaps dissolve into tears. But nothing happens. You just keep breathing.
           In.
           Then out.
           And Jin keeps speaking. He’s rambling now, something he does when he’s nervous. His brows are still furrowed, and you wonder if he’s making this up as he goes. If the only thing he knew what that he had to find a way in, only to find a way out.
           “As twisted as my logic sounds, I think it gives me hope. Eventually, I’ll be ok. Probably be complaining about the weather or maybe even a girl in no time. Just give me some time, and I’ll bounce back.”
           “Jin,” you croak out. “…you don’t complain, not about these things. Why are you doing this? S-stop doing this.”
           “But it’s like I said: Yoongi doesn’t complain. Jagiya, I know him. Better than you do.” Jin closes his eyes, pinching them shut before opening them again. “He’ll never get over you. I mean it. And if my logic holds true…that means that you’ll never move past him, either.”
           Folding his sweater over his arm, Jin steps back into the hallway. You step forward, your stomach churning.
           “Seokjin!”
           He hesitates for a single heartbeat, almost looking like he’ll turn back around and declare it all some twisted joke. Like he’ll pull you back into his arms and admit that he’s been inside his memories for the past two weeks, replaying “La Vie en Rose” as he lies awake at night.
           But he doesn’t. He refuses to look at you as he marches down the hallway. As he walks, he continues to speak.
           “I was angry that night, when you called him instead of me. When you accidentally deleted your essay. He left, and I was stuck at home, pining after you like some teenage boy. I think even then, I knew that it wouldn’t be me in the end. But I’d die trying.” He laughs, joking but it doesn’t come off very funny.
           It’s when he’s reached the door and goes to pull it open that you call out to him again, sounding like you’re on the verge of tears. “But it was you, wasn’t it?” You run a hand through your hair. “You wrote the note, o-on the back of the pact.”
           With his hand on the doorknob, Jin glances back at you over his shoulder. Now you understand why he couldn’t stand to look at you a moment earlier. Those are tears glistening in his eyes.
           He looks at you for a long moment, eyes so clear and bare that you can see the very moment he lays down his weapons and admits defeat. “Would it change anything?”
           He’s already twisting the doorknob, but just before he opens the door, he hesitates. Waiting for an answer, you realize. Some small part of him still pulses with hope, even after all he’s said.
           You can’t give that hope.
           “There’s a difference, you know,” Jin mumbles, eyes dropping. “Just because I loved you first doesn’t mean I can love you the best. I think sometimes the world forgets that.”
           And then he’s gone.
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           In.
           Out.
           Perhaps the most shocking development has been the fact that you’re still breathing. When Jin leaves your apartment, the sky doesn’t fall. Your heart, while aching, doesn’t shatter into a million little pieces. The quiet hum of your dishwasher continues on, oblivious to all that’s transpired.
           A few tears slip down your cheeks, which you quickly wipe away. When your dishwasher buzzes, you drift over to it as though in a daze. Wiping your hands on your dishtowel, you move to open the dishwasher.
           But it’s that dishtowel with stitched stars that Yoongi gifted you forever ago. Stars.
           You are the stars I’ve been reaching for ever since that night.
           Snatching the towel from where it hands off your oven, you fumble for your phone. Dishes long forgotten, you bring the phone up to your ear and nervously tap your foot. “C’mon, c’mon…”
           “Jagiya?”
           “Hobi!”
           “Hey, what’s up? How’s your ankle?”
           You chew on your lip, struggling to regain composure. “I- yeah. The ankle’s fine. Look, I need to cash in my question now.”
           Hobi chuckles on the other side of the phone. “That’s what I was afraid of. Wanna come over to the studio?”
           “Be there soon.”
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           It’s dark outside, countless stars winking down at you as you hurry inside the Hybe building. You throw a glare up at them, wondering if they were in on it the entire time. If the stars have always been aware that Min Yoongi had no interest in them, much preferring your company to the twinkling lights in the heavens.
It’s your first time in here, the boys having recently moved into the new building. As such, you’re instantly disoriented. At a loss for where to go, you call Hobi.
“Hey, where…?”
“Turn around!”
You whirl around to see the elevator doors sliding open, Hobi hopping out. “Hey, you made it!” He instantly pulls you in for a hug, which you gratefully receive. “Everything ok, jagi?”
It’s then that you realize how you must look. Tear-stained cheeks and tired eyes don’t make for the best combination. “Oh…yeah. I’m alright.”
Hobi doesn’t believe you at all, but he doesn’t push it. Not here, out in the open lobby. Instead he pulls you into the elevator, punching one of the buttons. “Long day?”
You laugh quietly, leaning up against the wall of the elevator. “A little, yeah. What about you? What are you up to?”
“Oh, we’re recording a new Japanese OST. Wanna listen to it once we get up there?”
“Is that even a question?”
It feels unbelievably good to be here with Hobi, falling into an easy conversation despite the nervousness coursing through your veins. Once you reach the eighth floor, Hobi leads you down the hallway toward a closed door.
“What’s that?” He asks, pointing to where you still hold the dishtowel in your hands.
You blink, not even realizing that you brought it in with you. “Oh…um…part of my question, I think?”
Hobi chuckles, pausing outside of the door. “I was wondering when you were gonna use that question.”
At the end of your date with Hobi two months ago, he’d allowed you two questions about whatever you wanted to know. You only asked one, wanting to keep the other for a future time. You never thought it would lead to this.
“Ok, let’s head inside.”
Your eyes widen, but Hobi doesn’t notice as he pushes the door open and strides inside. The sight that greets you makes you want to sink through the floor.
Namjoon and Jungkook sit in front of the recording equipment, while Taehyung and Jimin lounge on the couches at the back of the room. Yoongi is busy on the other side of the glass, eyes closed as he raps into the mic. His dark hair is straight, kissing his brows while he clenches his fists at his sides,
You’re frozen in place as suddenly you’re surrounded by his voice. It’s lilting, more like singing than rapping. The words coming from his mouth stop your heart.
“Don't have to be right, just wanted you to stay the way you are, kindhearted, always smiling, but-”
“Hey!” Taehyung jumps up from his seat, alerting everyone to your presence. “You’re here!”
Jungkook swivels around in his chair, wide eyes crinkling as he grins. Namjoon quietly greets you, cheeks pink as he struggles to focus on the task at hand.
It’s Jimin that notices how lost you look. “Everything alright?” He ambles over to you, bending his knees a bit to look at you. He grabs your shoulder, eyes scanning your face. “Jagiya? Want to sit down?”
But you’re still clinging to Hobi, one hand wrapped up in the fabric of his jacket. “I…actually, Hobi, weren’t you gonna show me your new studio?”
You look back at Hobi, aware that everyone in the room is now staring at him as well with confused looks. You give Hobi a pleading look, but not before you see someone on the other side of the glass.
Yoongi stands before the microphone, frowning as he looks at you. As you lock eyes, he tilts his head to one side and mouths a single word.
Jin?
“I…uh, yeah. Yeah, let’s go look at it first and then come right back, right?” Hobi says, the confusion clear in his voice. Thankfully, he doesn’t question you and instead steps back through the door. “Be right back, guys.”
Just before you walk away, you turn back to try to communicate to Yoongi that you’re here for him, not Jin. But he’s gone, the side door to the studio still swinging from where he walked out.
           Your head is still spinning by the time Hobi heads into his own studio, hardly pausing to admire it before he’s whipping around to face you. The second he closes the door, he’s crossing his arms and giving you a worried look.
           “What was that all about?” He asks. “What’s going on?”
           “Hobi,” you croak out. “Hobi, I need help. I need answers.”
           Plopping down on his cushiony swivel chair, you squint at him. You can feel a headache coming on.
           “I can’t give you the answers if you don’t ask the questions, jagi,” Hobi chides, pulling up another chair to sit in front of you. His gaze catches on your wrist. “You still wear the bracelet I made you?”
           You pause, glancing down at the bracelet. “Of course. Everyday.”
           Hobi smiles softly to himself before leaning back and letting out a long sigh. “Ok. Tell me what’s going on.” He eyes the star-spangled dishtowel still in your hands. “I assume this is about Yoongi?”
           “I…how did you know?”
           He nods to the towel, chuckling softly. “He came to me asking if I knew how to embroider. I didn’t, but I got him a little embroidery kit to practice with on tour. It cracked me up when he ended up buying plain white dishtowels and would spend his time backstage embroidering little stars on them. I didn’t know he was planning on giving them to you at the time…do you guys have some sort of inside jokes with stars or something?”
           You stare at Hobi like he’s just grown a second head. “He what?”
           “What?” Hobi blinks. “Did you not know that he stitched them?”
           Of course not. When Yoongi had gifted you the dishtowels, you’d thought it was sweet, if a bit odd. You even remember joking with him about it, saying that he’d paid off the neighborhood grandma to do it for him.
           “No! I never knew that! Why would I…why would he…”
           “So…you don’t have an inside joke about stars?”
           You sigh, throwing a hand over your eyes. “How could I be so blind?” Slumping down in the chair you ask miserably, “I mean, it makes sense, I guess…he’s done so many things-”
           At this, Hobi stops you. “Like what?”
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           There is a long, long list of things that Yoongi did for you that he never told the boys.
           “Or there’s that time he passed up on his Laker’s tickets because I had that end-of-year project due, and I was worried that nobody would show up to my presentation.”
           You remember that with a jolt. You had to give a twenty minute presentation on the effects of addiction, something that hardly seemed like a riveting topic. The general public was invited to the lecture hall, but despite your valiant efforts handing out fliers and sending e-vites, you were convinced that it was going to be a flop.
           It was. There were about seventeen people scattered about the hall that typically seated three hundred. Your hands were shaking and you thought you might burst into tears on stage because you felt like an utter failure, but then movement caught your eyes.
           Sneaking in and taking a seat on the very back row, sat Yoongi. His bucket hat was pulled low across his eyes and a couple of body guards tried (and failed) to looked inconspicuous as they took seats near him. When you stuttered, he help up a thumbs up and quietly encouraged you to go on.
           Jin’s words from earlier come back to you. I think he doesn’t know what to do with it, all those feelings. He just cares so much, about everyone. For you.
           By this point, you’re exhausted with all of the things Yoongi has done over the years. How blind you’ve been to his unadulterated kindness. Hobi senses it, seeing your shoulders droop. He falls silent, allowing you to sort out your thoughts before you speak.
           “Does he still want me?”
           Looking up at Hobi, you allow yourself to feel the question at you repeat it. “How could he still want me? After how blind I’ve been to my own feelings?”
           Hobi smiles softly, leaning forward to take your hand in his. He gives it a reassuring squeeze. “Jagi…I don’t think Yoongi completely understood his own feelings most of the time.”
           “But he’s done so much-”
           “That he has. But when you love someone, you don’t do those kinds of things for gain. He didn’t do those things to make you fall in love with him.” Hobi laughs to himself, shaking his head in disbelief. “He did it because you’re the right person. And when you’re with the right person, it’s simple. Does he still want you? Simple.” He shrugs. “Yes.”
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           Yoongi is gone, Jungkook tells you when the boys eventually come knocking at Hobi’s studio. They sit in a semi-circle, pondering all that they’ve learned. Hobi had quickly explained the situation to them, and despite your worry, nothing happened.
           Nobody yelled, nobody banished you from their life.
           Instead, Jimin had laughed. Laughed.
           “Pay up, loser,” he’d commanded as he elbowed Taehyung. Taehyung whined and said that he’d Venmo him in a second.
           “Wait, you made a bet?” You shriek. “About who I’d go for?!”
           The boys all laugh nervously, Namjoon slowly edging toward the door. You snap your fingers at him, glaring. “You don’t get to leave, Kim. Were you a part of this?”
           “I…yeah…”
           “But Yoongi’s gone,” Jungkook repeats. “Aren’t you gonna tell him?”
           You sigh. “How am I supposed to tell him? Just march up to him and throw myself at him?”
           Namjoon shrugs. “I mean, that’d work for me.”
           “Yeah,” Jungkook chuckles darkly. “Just go for that.”
           Hobi rolls his eyes, leaning forward in his seat. “Just do whatever you feel comfortable with, jagiya. But do it soon. You’ll psych yourself out if you wait much longer.”
           It feels like you’ve time-traveled back to middle school, gossiping around the lunch table about your crush. Somehow, that’s comforting. While there’s a bit of awkwardness in the air, you can’t help but feel like you’re back.
           “Oh,” Taehyung snaps his fingers, mouth open in a little ‘o’, “but whatever you do, make sure there’s cookies. Or some sort of dessert.”
           “What?”
           “You know, to celebrate if he accepts your confession, or to make you feel better if he rejects you.”
           Gasping, you jump up to your feet. You point an accusing finger at Hobi. “But you said that he’d still want me!”
           “He does! Taehyung, take that back right now.”
           Tae stands up, his grin softening as he steps forward. That’s when you see how much they’ve been hiding behind their playful demeanors. For you. To help you.
           Wrapping you up in a hug, Taehyung squeezes you tight. “It’ll be fine. Don’t you worry.” And then, quieter so no one else can hear, “We’ll be fine.”
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           You’ve never considered yourself to be a nervous baker, but here you are. Sliding another cookie sheet into the oven while two batches are cooling on your kitchen table.
           By the time you made it home last night, you could hardly keep your eyes open. While sleep did come to you relatively quickly, you were wide awake the second the sun crested the horizon. Wide awake, and a nervous wreck.
           Is this how the boys felt when they came to take you out? If so, they deserve a medal of bravery. You’re still within the comfort of your own home, but you can hardly breathe properly.
           Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that Yoongi just sent you a text that he’s on his way. Bouncing on your feet, you run your hands under the cold water in an effort to rid yourself of clammy palms. Drying your hands on the infamous dishtowel, you smile softly.
           Everything is going to be ok.
           Yoongi doesn’t get there for a long time. It’s long enough that you’re worried, and you pick up your phone to call him. A second later, you hear another phone ringing just outside your door. Hardly believing it, you rush toward the front door only to pause.
           “Here we go.”
           Swinging the door open, you come face to face with a guilty looking Yoongi. He’s halfway back down the stairs, but freezes in his steps as he hears the door open.
           “Yoongi?” You’re absolutely bewildered. “Where are you going?”
           Letting out a breathy laugh, Yoongi slowly begins trekking back up the stairs. “Oh…um…I thought I left something in the car.”
           “That’s a lie, isn’t it?”
           “What, are we not lying to each other today?”
           Smiling softly, you shake your head and open the door a little wider. “No. Not today, I’m afraid.”
           Something akin to fear flashes in Yoongi’s eyes at your words, but a second later he’s back to normal. “Smells great. Are you baking cookies?”
           “I’ve baked about a thousand, yeah. Can’t stop. It’s a condition.” You ramble as you turn and head into the kitchen, hoping that he’s following. The sound of his footsteps confirms that he is. “Want some?”
           When he doesn’t answer, you turn around to see what’s going on.
           Yoongi stands beside your table, fists clenched in the sleeves of his cardigan. He’s practically staring holes into the sweet treats, brows furrowed as he takes a deep breath. When he exhales, it’s shaky.
           “I’m fine, you know,” he grinds out, not looking at you. “You didn’t need to bake me cookies. I’m not…I’m not mad.”
           “Mad? What?”
           “Isn’t this why you brought me over? To let me down easy?” His voice is quiet, yet every word is like a bullet. “That’s why you were at the studio last night, wasn’t it? You were talking to the others about Jin.”
           Your heart stops.
           Is that why he disappeared last night? He thought that you’d made your decision, and it wasn’t him?
           “Yoongi, that’s not-”
           He’s already stepping back, refusing to look at you. His eyes are trained on the floor as he stumbles back toward the entryway, looking like he’s doing his best not to full out sprint. “I’m fine, jagiya. I know you’re worried sick about us, but don’t worry. I already told you not to worry, don’t you remember? I shouldn’t have said all of those stupid things on the beach…is that why you brought me over? You felt like I needed some sort of special treatment?”
           You take off after him, unable to believe what you’re hearing. “Yoongi, listen to me. This is for you. It’s all for you.”
           But he doesn’t hear you, he’s busy fumbling with his shoes that he slipped off beside the door. His hands are shaking, but he still refuses to look at you. “I’m so sorry for worrying you,” he says earnestly. His black hair is falling in his eyes, but it doesn’t shield his pink cheeks from your eyes. “I…wow, this is humiliating, isn’t it? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come-“
           “I invited you-”
           “-but I didn’t want to worry you even more, so I came over – why can’t I get these shoes on?!” He collapses to his knees, dropping his head into his hands as he finally gives up on his shoes. “Even that was a stupid mistake,” he whispers, never one to raise his voice. “I bought these for our date but then I realized that they would be stupid to wear to the beach.” He laughs at himself, no humor in the sound.
           You take a look at the dark shoes, which appear to be made of leather. They lace up, but it’s obvious that they’re not broken in yet. Crouching down beside Yoongi, who keeps his face hidden in his hands, you struggle to find words.
           “They look nice,” you mumble, voice raw. Have you been screaming? Or perhaps it’s the emotional exhaustion, finally setting in. “Very pretty.”
           “I wanted to wear them for you. Just once.” Taking a deep breath, Yoongi sits back and brings his knees up to his chest. He back presses against the back of your couch.
           And you’re here. Sitting beside him in the entryway to your small apartment. So far away from where you thought you’d be.
           As Yoongi glares at his shoes, you notice just how bloodshot his eyes are. Like he hasn’t slept in days.
           “Isn’t it odd?” He muses, tired eyes dragging over to meet yours. You’re unable to breathe as he stares at you without the barriers he usually puts up for himself. For the first time you can ever remember, Yoongi looks at you and lets you see everything. Perhaps he’s too tired to mask the longing anymore.
           Your voice comes out as nothing more than a whisper. “What’s odd?”
           He inhales sharply before breathing out slowly. “After everything, I’m still trying to impress you.”
           The small confession strikes you like a bolt of lightning, and you screw your eyes shut. Once the feeling passes and you’ve composed yourself, you open your eyes again to find Yoongi’s again on his shoes. He nibbles on his bottom lip as he reaches out and eases his shoe from your hands. Then, he slips it on his foot.
           As he begins to tie the laces, you open your mouth to say all of the things you should have a long time ago.
           “I see you everywhere I go.” Your eyes are trained on his deft fingers as he pauses for a moment before continuing to lace up his shoe. “For a long time, I didn’t know what to do about it. I just brushed it off as a side effect of our friendship. In my mind, it was better to ignore it than to face it, because then what? I could never have you.”
           His hands are trembling again as he finishes his right shoe and reaches for the left.
           “You’ve always been so good. There whenever I needed you, there just in the off-chance I called. On stand-by, like my own personal assistant.” You chuckle, perhaps a little insane by this point. “And I convinced myself that whatever that was between us, it was enough. It was just gonna be me and my seven best friends for the rest of my life. But then…things started to change. You guys challenged me to view you as something more.”
           He’s nearly finished tying his shoe now, your time is nearly out. But he fumbles, unable to quite finish.
           “That night you guys came up with the dating idea, I knew I was walking into a trap. I wasn’t worried about anyone crossing any boundaries, I was worried about me making the biggest mistake of my life. Sitting there I think I was starting to realize I had feelings for you, and I was one slip-up away from hurting everyone else.”  Now he stops breathing. But his fingers are still slowly working at the laces. “I cared for you then, but I loved you when you showed up at my door seven dates later.”
           He’s just managed to finish tying his shoe when you stop speaking. He doesn’t speak, only staring down at those laces with wide eyes as he processes what you just said. You take his silence in stride, still talking. Still confessing.
           “I didn’t know how to tell you that I was torn between the what-if’s and the what-is. That I was drowning in the possibilities everyone was offering me, but that when I was with you I was finally able to see the world for what it is. But you just said, ‘I know’ and I thought that you did. I figured you knew, because you’re you, how could you not know what I was thinking? You always do.”
           Yoongi stops nibbling on his lip long enough to voice a question, his voice hoarse. “The world for what it is…what is it?”
           You take courage in his curiosity, deeming this a good development. “It’s only tolerable because you’re in it.”
           He falls silent again, deep in his thoughts.
           “Yoongi,” you call softly, heart hammering against you ribs. “Could you look at me for a second?”
           He does, eyes wide with confusion.
           Those eyes, the ones you see everywhere you go. Crinkled up in laughter, joking with you over something stupid. Proudly watching you from the back row as you present to a small crowd. Filled with adventure as you sneak your hand into his pocket at the haunted house, inviting you to dive inside.
           It was those eyes that you saw looking back at you that night with Jungkook, out of breath and lost as suddenly it wasn’t Jungkook kissing you, but Yoongi. That forbidden dream become real as you squeezed your eyes shut and allowed yourself to pretend for a moment longer before pulling away.
           It’s now, looking into Yoongi’s dark eyes that hold so much promise, that you find it easier than ever to say what you should have said that night when he showed up to help you with your essay. Looking frazzled but ready to swim the entire ocean if it would help you. Instead, you had just given him a lingering hug before excusing yourself to go to your room and sleep.
           Sleep hadn’t found you that night, because you had been awake and asking your ceiling why a man like Min Yoongi would do anything for you.
           “Yoongi,” you whisper. “I love you.”
           He doesn’t move, but just blinks. Once. Twice. You see the doubt swirling in his eyes, so when you reach out to pull at his shoelace, you repeat it.
           “I love you.”
           One shoe at a time, you untie the laces. You undo the pain you’ve caused him, break down the barriers he put up.
           “I love you.”
           You continue to repeat the words, focusing on his shoes and not daring to look up at him just yet. Not until you get his shoes off, because then you feel like he can’t run away.
           So you undo the knots and repeat those words with a shaking voice. “I love you, Yoongs.” When you go to slip the shoes from his feet, he helps you, kicking them off and reaching forward to place his hand under your chin and make you look at him.
           Yoongi is crying when you look at him, the tears falling silently. A part of you wonders if he even realizes that he’s crying.
           “You…” he swallows, those eyes so wide. “…love me?”
           It’s simple.
           “Yes.”
           Yoongi furrows his brows again, trying to understand everything that’s happening. “But…Jin.”
           There will be time to explain everything. For now, you answer the question Jin asked you yesterday, standing before this very door. “The pact, the note. It doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change how I feel. He came over yesterday to ‘let go’, he said.”
           Something like recognition flashes across Yoongi’s face at those two words, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he nods slowly, trying to follow what you’re saying. “And you feel…”
           “I feel very in love with you, yes.”
           What happens next is burned into your memory for the rest of your life.
           Yoongi sits up, reaching across to you in a flash, pulling you until you’re falling forward. He lets out a shaky breath, pulling you into his lap just like he did on the beach. And as he holds you, he laughs. He’s still laughing as he plants a soft kiss to your forehead. He’s grinning as he presses his lips to your cheeks.
           Tears are still falling down his cheeks as he brushes his lips against your own. Hesitantly, as though worried you might pull away and tell him it was all a joke.
You return the kiss fervently, speaking in a language only you two can understand. He pulls away, staring down at you as though surprised to find that you’re really here and not just a figment of his imagination.
“I love you,” he whispers. And then he’s kissing you in earnest.
Breathlessly, desperately, and with a touch of insanity that only comes after spending two nights wide awake and heartbroken. As he holds you tight and kisses you harder, you know that he’s healing himself with each touch.
           One kiss, one shattered fragment of his heart sliding back into place.
           Your hands wrap around his neck and wind into his hair, pulling him impossibly closer as he gasps and whispers those three words again. “I love you.”
           When the smell of burnt cookies pulls you apart several minutes later, Yoongi wraps his arms around your waist and sticks to you like glue. He rests his chin on your shoulder, planting a few lazy kisses along your jaw that sets your skin aflame. “Mm, I love you,” he mumbles between kisses.
           Placing the burnt cooking atop the stove, you chuckle. “I know.”
           “Agh,” Yoongi groans, burying his head in your shoulder. “I thought you meant something different, ok?”
           “I know.”
           “Yah! I was trying to be understanding of your feelings I thought you had for Jin!”
           Reaching to turn off the oven, you grin. “I’m never letting you live that down.”
           As Yoongi feigns annoyance while shoveling cookies into his mouth, you marvel at all it took to get to this point. Yoongi notices your attention, puffy cheeks turning pink. But he doesn’t shy away, instead he silently offers you a cookie.
           “So…” he begins, a smirk playing on his lips. “I’ve been thinking.”
           “Dangerous.”
           “Well, I know how much you like bad boys.”
           “Mm, true.”
           Yoongi laughs along with you before continuing. His eyes sparkle like the night sky, drawing you in. “Are you free this Saturday?”
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comfyswitcherblanketfort · 4 years ago
Text
How To Calm Your Witcher
i am shit at titles please forgive me i know its tacky lol. the Goob Squad gave me like an ounce of positive reinforcement for purring Geralt and tbh this was v good for the wack ass day i had so this is what yall are stuck with.
Warnings: overwhelmed potion geralt, description of said overwhelming sensation, kinda anxiety attack adjacent but theres some BIG comfort, purring witcher. 
__________
Geralt marched through the halls in a huff, Jaskier keeping pace but lagging behind just a bit as they made their way to the quarters that this particularly obtuse lord had not so graciously assigned them for the duration of the hunt. Geralt had prepared for a menacing beast, potions and all, only to find some delinquents faking a mauling because they’d had too much to drink and got bored. They’d probably never drink again after the scare Geralt gave them, but the lord wasn't satisfied. Geralt assumed he never was. 
The only reason Geralt didn’t slam the door when they made it through the maze was that Jaskier was behind him. He was shaking, all that adrenaline with nowhere to go made his hands curl into tight fists and he could hear too many people. The floor above them was relatively empty but below must have been the kitchen or laundry and it was starting to drive him insane after only a few moments in the room. 
He ripped his armor off, hoping that removing the tight bands of leather keeping it in place might make him feel like he fit within his skin again. It only made him cold. 
Jaskier picked up the pieces he’d chucked  and laid them in a pile before carefully stacking logs in the ridiculously sized hearth. Geralt barely registered him hauling blankets and furs out of a chest at the foot of the bed, too distracted by the noises and every single one of his hairs shifting as he moved. It felt like he was covered in spiders and wading through water all at once. Everything was too slow and too detailed and he just wanted to charge back into the dining hall and beat the lord with his ham bone. 
“Geralt?” Jaskier’s voice couldn’t even be called a whisper; it was so faint, “Can you come light this please?”
Geralt cracked his neck as he turned and stalked over to the hearth. He didnt need to cast such a dramatic sign, but fuck he needed to do something. Jaskier was already standing back, seemingly prepared for his outburst. 
“Can you sit down so I can unlace your boots?”
Could he? For that velvet soft voice he could do anything. His boots were rather soaked too, and he could feel the beginnings of a blister forming where the new leather had yet to soften. He let Jaskier lead him to a specific pillow and settled onto it, extending his legs and glaring into the fire. The pops and hisses of bubbling sap was helping to mask the sounds from below, but it didn't feel like nearly enough. Jaskier slowly tugged off his boots, keeping his touches deliberate but soft as he replaced the waterlogged woolen socks with a warm fresh pair. Geralt wiggled his toes a bit, happy with the feeling of something soft against the tops of his toes. 
Jaskier settled in behind him and raked his fingers through Geralt’s hair, “How does this feel?”
Geralt hummed, honestly not sure of his answer, and continued to stare into the fire.
The bard quickly braided his waves off to the side, very practical compared to his usual work, and wrapped his arms around Geralt’s waist, resting his chin on his shoulder, “What’s too much?”
Geralt only snarled. It was a stupid question. Everything was too much. 
“Is it the noise?”
A nod.
“What about your skin?”
Geralt swallowed hard and forced his words out, “Little hairs.”
Jaskier shimmied back to lean against a heavy leather chair, pulling Geralt with him before draping blanket after blanket after blanket over them; finishing the stack with a bearskin. They were cocooned in soft, but not sticky fabric that kept all Geralt’s hair pressed to his skin and a weight that made his legs feel hollow and filled with lead. He could finally take a slow deep breath, feeling his back press into Jaskier’s stomach as his lungs expanded. 
“Better?” Jaskier breathed, placing a gentle kiss to Geralt’s temple.
He nodded, turning his head into Jaskier’s chest to breathe in his scent. 
“What else do you need, love?”
Geralt’s hands resting on Jaskier’s thighs beneath the blankets involuntarily squeezed when someone dropped what sounded like a dragon sized cauldron on the level below, “Hum for me?”
Jaskier immediately started humming one of Geralt’s favorite songs, pressing a kiss to his hair as he did. The soft rumbles of the bard’s voice and his heartbeat gave Geralt something to focus on other than the cacophony from below. As Jaskier’s voice grew gradually stronger there were gradually less and less distractions, only the pleasant, comforting sound of his lover’s voice and the gentle vibrations emanating from his chest. Geralt shifted slightly and pressed his ear to Jaskier’s sternum, sighing at the warmth of his bard’s skin against the side of his face and the loud, reassuring thrum of his heartbeat. Jaskier clasped his hands together over Geralt’s stomach and the little bit of added pressure did wonders. 
Before he knew it, his eyes were fluttering closed and there was a deep rumble accompanying the rise and fall of his chest. He stayed pleasantly pinned to his lover as they waited for the potions to leave his system, purring in accompaniment to Jaskier’s soft singing. Geralt’s purrs started to fade as he drifted closer and closer to sleep, still not entirely feeling clean, but clean enough.
“How are you feeling?” Jaskier’s whisper, coaxed him back from the edge of consciousness just before he was about to fall. 
He purred louder in response, something that always made Jaskier smile. 
“Alright, let’s get you into the bed, yeah?”
Geralt let himself be propped up on his feet while Jaskier peeled his breaches off and tucked him under the covers before laying the heavy bearskin over him yet again. 
“Jask?” Geralt’s voice was more of a croak as he lifted his head off the pillow to search for his bard, “C’m to bed.”
“Already here, love.” Jaskier shuffled over under the covers, pressing himself to Geralt’s back and tucking his thighs up under Geralt’s.
Geralt started purring again as Jaskier pressed a kiss to the base of his neck and snaked an arm around his waist, “I love you,” he sighed, making sure Jaskier could feel just how happy he was through the vibrations in his chest.
“And I you,” Jaskier hummed, giving Geralt a light squeeze, “Now sleep, darling.”
He fought sleep as long as he could, wishing he could stay in this moment forever, but eventually Geralt stopped purring and fell into a deep, restful sleep. 
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lightsinthedistancee · 3 years ago
Text
Under the Cover of War: FO!Poe Dameron x Resistance!Reader
Pairing: FO!Poe Dameron x Resistance!Reader
Word Count: 2.4k
Summary: “‘Let’s go,’ he murmurs. ‘Let’s run.’ His gaze is fixed on you, begging for this. He needs you—he needs you to be there for him so that he has a place in the galaxy, a place he would never have otherwise. ‘Please.’”
Following the destruction of the Hosnian System, a promise and a dire decision are made by you and Poe.
Warnings: Language
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“Why?”
The single word is clipped, volatile, dangerously soft in nature. It’s a question, a plead, an accusation, all at once. It seems to scream in the silence, to imply a million other queries that Poe doesn’t want to answer.
He simply remains quiet as he stares at your back turned to him. You sit on the edge of the bed, breath shaking, refusing to even look at him.
He inhales, blinking rapidly. “Sweetheart—“
“Why?” This time, it’s a scream. The sound is ragged, painful, your voice cracking. It makes him flinch, makes him draw into himself.
The loud cry echoes, disintegrates as the seconds pass.
He wishes he could transport himself back to five minutes ago, before either of your holos had rung. Before the First Order had reported a victory to him, before the Resistance had reported a devastating, unfathomable loss to you.
He wants to return to when he’d laid beside you, running his fingers down your sides, when the memory of pressing you into the sheets was still fresh in his mind.
But somehow he knows that whatever the two of you have will never return in any way.
“How could you?” you whisper, the shock of five of the galaxy’s most populous planets being obliterated in mere minutes still in the process of shattering you to pieces.
Poe wants to shrink into the air, disappear in moments. He knows you’re crying, that you can’t handle it. He’d be lying if he said he himself was handling it at all.
“I…I don’t know what happened.” He stares at the sheets, tears running down his own face. He can’t imagine it. The deaths of tens of trillions. Their screams, the pain they must have felt in the blinding light of imminent death.
Your hands tighten into fists as you shake. Your form is locked in tension, perhaps about to abruptly turn around and strike him, perhaps about to break and collapse into a distraught pile of bone and flesh. “You’re a liar.”
The words are akin to a strike itself. He near hisses, unstable in his new knowledge. “Why the fuck would they tell me? I’m not even a colonel.” His volume rises, swirling in the atmosphere, ready to completely burst free. “I didn’t have a damn thing to do with it—“
“But you certainly have something to do with those who ordered it!” You finally turn to him. You’re livid. Eyes red with tears, lips in a tight line, a glare that threatens to break him.
And your statement is not something he can deny. He deflates, silent. He can feel your eyes on him expectantly, but nothing comes.
When enough time passes, you stand from the bed, grabbing your things from the bedside table. As your fingers delicately wrap around the blaster you regularly carry around, he briefly thinks that perhaps you’re about to turn around and shoot him.
But you don’t, and something new finds home beside your anger: a heartbreaking sense of disappointment.
It’s on instinct when his hand shoots out, grasping your arm. “No, wait…please. Don’t go,” he says quietly.
You’re all he has. There’s nothing more to say other than that. Life in the Order is a cold one, always has been. While he may not agree with the side you’ve chosen, you’re the sole warmth in his life, the sole radiant light.
You jerk in his grip, but he tightens it, eyes unashamedly pleading with you, begging you to not leave him.
Even in the place you always meet him, buried beneath layers of rock, surrounded by passages of clandestine activity necessary in your illicitness, his meetings with you never fail to be the only times he’s truly happy.
“Please…,” he pleads once more, thumb running over your knuckles.
A debate takes place on your features, and he can read you better than he can anyone else. He’s the person you’d let into your heart, the person you’d revealed every personal secret to. He’s the one who’d whispered ‘I love you’ one fateful night, the one to whom you’d whispered it back. He’s the one that had challenged your blind loyalty to any ideology, the one to whom you’d done the same.
He can see all those things viciously, ruthlessly grappling with the horrifying events that had just transpired: bodies being ripped to shreds, building being reduced to dust, life being annihilated in fire.
And in an act of emotional obscurity, the two opponents are shockingly close.
It’s evident which wins out when you limply fall back to the bed, body slumping to lie down, eyes tiredly closed.
“Then tell me why,” you whisper, barely audible.
“Why what?”
“I want to know why you joined the people who did…this.”
And at that simple request, he feels his walls rise. Even if they’d fallen long ago when he was around you, they’d never truly disappeared.
“I thought we don’t talk about stuff like that,” says Poe quietly.
“Well, I changed my fucking mind.”
He gazes around the room, reminded of the sole thing that prevents full, unconditional commitment to the other. The space they are in is a brutal reminder of the fact, for it presents itself in sets of two, an embodiment of duality.
Two blasters on top of the bedside table. One polished and new, the other dull and thoroughly used.
Two sets of boots clumsily scattered by the door. One shiny, lacking a single scuff mark, one that’s appearance suggests it’s been passed through several owners.
Two jackets. One with the hexagonal, sixteen-rayed symbol of the First Order, one with the starbird of the Resistance.
It’s a glaringly horrid representation of the two of you, never destined to be the same.
“Did your tongue also vanish along with the five planets?”
He slowly comes back to the present with your words, forcing away his disconnect.
It’s not something he can afford right now. Maintaining his privacy, hiding the events of his past, concealing the cause of his motives—he can’t afford any of that if he wants you.
And somehow, all he does want is you. You, you, you—to the point that he wonders if it’s unhealthy, if it’s even real and true, but that’s something he refuses to consider in the moment.
Even though you’d seen some of the darkness through him, he is certain that your loyalty to light is stronger, if only marginally, and that means he has to tell. He has to reveal.
“My mother,” he simply says, gaze unfocused. “She was a rebel pilot. She died.”
The slight stirring of your body freezes. He’d never talked of his family’s loyalties; he’d always given the impression that they’d passively existed in the deluge of light and dark that had overtaken the galaxy.
“She’s why I joined.” He flinches at the memory, grimacing at the pain he’d felt as a boy. “She died because of rebellion recklessness. Because of belief in blind hope.”
The anger—it’s simmering once more, bubbling higher, inching further and further to the edge of his chest.
And he can tell yours is too. Your fingers grip at the sheets as your eyes narrow. “Reckless…blind…hope?” He’s questioning your belief, accusing it of something dangerously irrational, and you yearn to lash back on instinct, to defend the beliefs you’d lived your life by—even as your own doubts of it conceal themselves in the background.
He laughs bitterly, his voice rising again. “Don’t kid yourself. That’s what the New Republic lived off of, and it was a fucking mess.”
You tense up, practically shrieking your next words, wholly, viciously attacking him back. “Who are you to say that—“
“There were people revolting in the streets!” he yells, his voice perhaps even louder than yours had been. “There were people in the Outer Rim starving! It was chaos—“
“And the First Order is what? Orderly?”
“They’re better than you and your—“
And he falls silent all of a sudden. He stops himself.
He knows where this is going. It’d happened and been resolved before, but he has a sneaking suspicion that that won’t be the case if the two of you continue down this road.
“Fuck,” he groans under his breath, his back slumped as he rubs his face with his hands.
“Me and my what?” you ask quietly.
He just shakes his head.
You fall back to your laying down position, head burying in the sheets, trying to block everything out. He’s right. He’s entirely right. The flaw in the Light, the flaw in the Republic, but you can’t bring yourself to denounce the loyalty you’d inherited.
He sniffles, hiding his tears behind his hands, and his figure—he knows it’s one of pure pain. As good as he’d gotten at hiding his emotions, they always seem to show themselves in your presence, no matter how hard he tries to defeat them, and it’s undeniable that you feel them to the fullest.
“You say ‘mama’ in your sleep sometimes,” you whisper all of a sudden.
At the revelation, he goes still. It’s an unsettling thought…that perhaps you’d known of his weakness long before he’d willingly showed you, long before he thought you deserved to know.
That maybe you’d heard the words of him crying out for his mother before you’d even known the slightest deeply-personal thing about him, when you’d only known the feeling of him inside you and the feeling of his lips on yours and the weight of his body as he slept beside yours.
His reluctance to look at you only increases tenfold when the shame floods in. The shame of a lifetime at this point—of weakness regarding his family, of putting blaster bolts in people who didn’t deserve them, of not being able to let go of his past, something he’d been striving for his whole life.
It all externally devolves into a mere fit of subtle trembles.
“Poe?” Your tone is soft now, gentle. You’re on your knees, sitting up, a single hand on the side of his face joining the space between the two of you. A certain mixture of concern and inquisitiveness finds home in your eyes, and for a second, he thinks your expression reflects one of a person staring at a beaten-down, once-aggressive animal.
“I regret it—joining the Order,” he simply says, voice cracking. The gas, plasma, fire, flesh, and bone of the destroyed system fill his imagination. “Is that what you want to hear?”
“Only if you mean it.” There’s still no sympathy to your voice, but there’s a softer edge to it, the kind that’s always existed but disappears in every fight.
“I do.” He leans back into the pillows, forearm over his eyes. It feels as if this has been going on for far too long, for he’s exhausted.
Your hand finds its way into his curls, tracing from his hairline to the base of his neck. It’s hauntingly reminiscent of what he’d felt so passionately and tenderly before the conflict had even begun.
“All darkness dies in the light,” you whisper.
It’s an ambiguous statement to many, but he automatically knows what you’re asking of him—you want his darkness to die in your light.
And while part of him begs and yearns to submit to your wish, something about your words perturbs him—the words unsaid. His darkness…the one he’d held for so long, you don’t want it to disappear, you don’t want it to transform, no, you want it to die. You want him to kill it.
“I can’t,” he says softly, fingers fumbling with the sheets, almost hoping to blindly find you.
“The Light Side’ll—“
“I’m done with the fucking sides,” he interjects, his words lined with a sharp edge. A puff of air leaves his lips as he desperately wishes for calm, one with at least some semblance of permanence. He finally looks at you, eyes now completely devoid of any anger or menace they’d held before, just the sadness of someone who’d made one too many wrong choices. “It’s just pain either way, isn’t it?”
“Maybe,” you admit, a brief expression of hesitance crossing your face. “But you have to choose.” The hesitance turns to anguish, a revelation in its most subtle form. “There’s more pain if you don’t, and perhaps…perhaps that’s why I chose my side.”
He props himself up on his forearms at the mere implication—the implication that your unwavering loyalty to the light is not so unwavering, that you’d gone head in like he had with his loyalty and was now beginning to doubt things.
“Some don’t choose—“
“And they suffer for it,” you interrupt, finishing his statement with your own thoughts. It’s something you’ve seen your whole life: those who don’t choose being made to do so—often in violence.
He laces his fingers with yours, delicately wrapping each of your digits around his palm.“We’ve suffered our entire lives, darling,” he muses. “Born into a galaxy at war, a brief respite, and then yet another one…just suffering, suffering, suffering…within us, around us…what’s a little more?”
The whole room seems to freeze as you peer at him, part curiosity, part doubt, part disbelief. “What are you suggesting?”
“I think you know,” he says softly. The warmth staring back at you is undeniably something you would die for.
“Say it.” Your whisper is said with the deepest conviction, awaiting the words that would cement your decision, perhaps a decision you won’t know until you hear the offer leave his lips.
“Let’s go,” he murmurs. “Let’s run.” His gaze is fixed on you, begging for this. He needs you—he needs you to be there for him so that he has a place in the galaxy, a place he would never have otherwise. “Please.”
Your breath shakes, just barely, contemplating, debating. There’s an inevitable weight to war, the kind that crushes people to pieces, and the temptation to run from such a force—it feels right. It feels right to be free, to live safer, to be with whom you want. “There’ll be sacrifices to make.”
“There’ll be sacrifices either way,” he insists, and you’re certain he’s right. “Darling….” His words fade off, and he surges forward, gently locking his lips with yours. It’s tender and pleading, the ultimate question asked once again through touch.
“Poe….” The way you say his name is filled with something decisive, something deliberate. The seconds pass. He waits. “Let’s go.”
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