#//SOMETHING SOMETHING SELF ESTEEM ISSUES

[mechahero]

//Lambda is the kind of guy to bask in physical affection for a while before some part of him goes "Wait. What am I doing? I shouldn't be doing this." before he quits cold turkey for a very long time.

[technically-human]

When the ghost who read to you as you died activates all of your Must Protect instincts

[welcometogrouchland]

(ID in alt) I MADE THIS LAST MONTH AND COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO POST IT TIL NOW. I was knee-deep in Buffy the vampire slayer when I made this. Damian's favourite character is Spike I think

[literally-forever]

you ever think about how part of Charles feeling a lot better by the end of the series is because he finally could do something about something? he went and got Edwin from hell. HE did that. and he bloody well succeeded

[fumifooms]

Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.

His grey hairs are so earned

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Cullen: *trying to distract Ras Al Ghul for his sister who he just found out was Blue Bird* Why do you worship Lazarus anyway? What does it give you?!

Ras Al Ghul: It gives me endless life and eternal youth.

Cullen: But I bet it can't give me a boyfriend.

*Lazarus green portal opens up in the sky and shoots a guy down at Cullen feet*

Ras:

Cullen:

Nightwing:

Bluebird:

Robin:

Cullen: Dibs

Robin: That is a demon. A pit demon.

Cullen: and I called dibs

Phantom: ????

Phantom: I know a place if you like burgers

[whump-n-comfort]

what about a scenario where a character is stuck in some kind of dream-state where they're living a completely different life a la everything-they-ever-wanted-type universe, and the longer they stay stuck the closer and closer they get to death because whatever is keeping them stuck is draining their life force etc etc

what about their friends and family working tirelessly to break them out, only for it to all be for naught because the character breaks out themself, and when they're asked how they managed to see through the lies, the character admits that it felt too good to be true purely because they didn't feel like they deserved such a nice life

what then, huh?!?

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

charlie brings a certain air of "i COULD care that my gay gf did so many crimes, bi I don't~" to the show that i really love

[octocharger]

ok so like many people didn't appreciate how magical backup was portrayed in the finale, both because it felt like Peri was mostly being portrayed as a joke throughout the entirety of it and that it just. freaked me out a bit? so i did this small doodle of what i would've done a little bit after it aired i think

some other ideas i thought of after drawing it is that magic would leak out in other ways besides vomitting, like through tears and sweating. if the fairy had access to the ability to use magic, they'd also start frantically casting spells to try and remedy it, entirely out of control (this might probably be late stage? shrug)

they'll still get delirious (which gets worse over time the worse and worse it gets) but since this is something i figure only happens to godparents, one thing they'll consistently think about even when they're like this? their godkid.

as for that scene where Dev finally realizes Peri cares for him, i think if Peri looked more like this it would've really hit more? like the guy is *literally dying* BECAUSE of this kid, and yet, even while completely unaware of his surroundings, he still wants to "do right by him" because he has always cared about this

i think it would also be a little better if Peri was aware enough to *kind* of have a proper conversation with him with some actual intent in the words he says, i think it'd be nice if *he* brung up Dale for Cosmo and Wanda to continue off of to call Dev out on what he *really* wants

[cacaocheri]

low key having a self insert oc helped boost my confidence a lot. like hell yeah I'm sexy and get all the bitches and everyone wants to be my friend all the time always

[randomness-is-my-order]

and speaking in a similar vein––because i recently saw a few takes like these––i wonder if people realise that it takes great dignity, self-respect and love for oneself to be so firm in one’s ideals and morals to be willing to fight to death for them. wei wuxian, wen qing, wen ning were willing to give up their lives because that was the right course of action, that was what they believed in and doing any less would be an insult on their person, would be an act that would devalue their sense of self, than preserve it.

if you ever learn about freedom fighters... i kind of see it like that. those people fought against the system, knowing the stakes, and died years and years before their efforts would ever bear fruition. but that was their choice, their deliberate stand to respect their own belief system and fight for a whole.

this is how i see wei wuxian’s actions regarding the wens. this was a cause he wanted to put his all behind. it was a show of incredible respect for his ownself––for him to not be deterred by anyone who wanted him to stop. i think it makes perfect sense that he’d be offended, infact, if someone downplayed the importance of saving the wens or implied he should abandon them because for him, this is worth everything.

[ch-go-crazy-yall]

Coloring, to de-stress

[possamble]

do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up

i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.

she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.

never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-

i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:

okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.

the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page

she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later

so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions

"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"

"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"

Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.

I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.

On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.

Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.

And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.

Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.

Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it

and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks

And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.

(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)

The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)

I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.

and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured

In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.

(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)

[muzzlemouths]

nobody warns you about the cold takes your brain will come up with when you're even slightly self conscious about your art/writing. it's like "hey this stranger has a story that has [element 1] and [element 2] in it, which basically just makes it the story you came up with, but better. and everyone is going to ignore your story and only engage with this other one because it's better. and yours sucks by comparison. so you shouldn't even try. btw have you considered never creating ever again?" like okay maybe I'll just never interact with people or the fandom or anyone else again ever because that's a sane and rational way to cope with this. ok.

[serpentface]

what are the personalities of the brabrides kids like? do they exhibit any character traits which have accusers pointing? does brakul see any of his relatives in them?

They're their own people, they don't have much strong or obvious resemblances in personality to their biological parents (they're also very young so learned/absorbed traits will probably emerge later in life).

Livya is 3 years old at this time so still a toddler. As of yet she seems to be a very serious child (had a habit of staring at people with a very stern expression as an infant that has continued through the present). She's reserved around new people and not very talkative, though she'll get very chatty to herself when she's alone or with a few select people (namely Erubi and their housekeeper Odelas' grandchildren). Her main focus in life at this point seems to be following her sister around and constructing elaborate private fantasies with toy animals. Plays alright with other children but gets mad when they're doing it 'wrong' in ways only discernible to her.

She does remind Brakul of his first child a little, though mostly in the sense that the kid came off as a serious baby and had gone on longer than average without starting to speak the last time he saw him.

Erubi is more outgoing and will readily get chatty with adults. She has a tendency to be bossy and competitive and will gleefully announce when she's better at things than someone else. Gets frustrated and pouty when she doesn't 'win' at things. She's not particularly malicious about this, but it still makes her a difficult playmate for most children. VERY high energy. Very impulsive. Accidentally(ish) killed a pet polecat by dropping it out of a window (she couldn't articulate exactly what she was trying to accomplish there) and then cried for days over it. She's regarded as a handful, stubborn and frustrating to manage by people around her on a daily basis, but she tends to be received as charming, precocious, and intelligent.

She actually reminds people of what Janeys and ESPECIALLY Faiza was like at her age, WRT the latter the notion of her being inducted as an Odonii when she gets older has already been floated. (This is largely nepotism and selection tends to be politically motivated, but she fits the profile of a preferable candidate- comes from a significant and connected noble family, healthily robust and intelligent, balancing a delicate line of 'equipped for masculine roles' while not seen as 'masculinized').

Both siblings have a fairly good relationship with fairly typical sibling strains at this point in their lives. Livya seems to want to emulate Erubi and spends a lot of time following her around (with some difficulty). Erubi is usually willing to play with her and assist in her care, but is recently starting to hit the 'annoyed with baby sibling tailing her and getting in the way of her very important, very mature deeds' phase. She was very mad that she couldn't come along on the pilgrimage and had to stay behind with the toddler.

Erubi has some definite behavioral tics she's picked up from parents (harder to tell with Livya at this point). She runs her fingers through her hair when it's unbraided and fidgets with braids like Hibrides. Janeys has, like, the Asuka Langley Soryu stance when he's trying to be commanding (arms crossed or on hips, legs stanced apart, chin up) and she's STRONGLY picked up on that and does it constantly. Does it back to Janeys. It's a sight to see.

She's also picked up a tiny shred of a 'northerner' accent with words she's learned specifically from Brakul, also has figured out she can get a Reaction out of her mother by saying her name with his accent (Hih-Bree-Dez with a long 'bree' and rolled R, rather than Hee-Breh-Dez with a long 'hee'/unrolled R) and at this point isn't too concerned about why this reaction seems to be 'mild horror'.

[bumblingbabooshka]

In 'vis a vis' Janeway doesn't mention B'Elanna in the list of people who're worried about Tom which implies that B'Elanna didn't report the fact that "Tom" grabbed her arm, called her a disappointment and broke up with her (as Janeway definitely would have mentioned it as evidence of him acting strange if she knew about it) which makes sense on several different fronts but also makes me scream and cry loud enough to break glass.