#//I am grossly excited about this okay

[damelucyjo]

Possibly my favourite episode of the season. But could that be because it feels like they just remembered this show is really about Rebecca Welton and is just named after her boyfriend?? Not at all!!

Let’s go!!

Episode 10 - International Break

Woah! What a way for reveal Nate left West Ham! 🫢

Shut up, George!! You’re just bitter you were shut at your job and it’s showing now

Ted! We want to spend every weekend with you! Please never leave

Is this really how they find out who got chosen?? Seems like something they’d personally get told first. I think the boys knew, but the coaches didn’t!! Hmm

‘Wait, hold on. Bumbercatch, you’re Swiss?’ ‘Yeah. Look at me’ this boy really is a man of mystery!! 😂

Poor Sam 🙁

But God love Jamie though! He’s come so far!! 🥰🥰

‘I am not your bro. We are now enemies, and soon, you will be my bitch’ woah, Mexico Dani is a whole other breed of dog, huh!! I’ll stick with Richmond puppy Dani, thanks 😂

YYEEEAAAHHHH!!

We love a convo that sounds like it’s about periods but is actually about wine 🫡

MADELINE KAHN REFERENCE!!! 😍😍 this alone could make this episode my favourite!!

Totally tracks though that Ted doesn’t like gossip

As much as I always want scenes of Ted & Rebecca alone, that reveal to Trent was brilliant. And of course he’s good at girl talk 😂

Please, they way Rebecca reacts to Ted is such married behaviour. AND TRENT IS SEEING IT ALL FIRST HAND!! I’m so excited

Oh, Ted. You’re cute. You knew exactly what they meant. You just wanted to make your wife smile. It’s okay, we get it 🥰

AND AGAIN WITH THE DEVIL BIT. Boy…

I’ll continue to say it; Nate & Jade are cute!

Fully expected her to flip them all off, not gonna lie

Omg I totally saw this coming, and yet it’s still heartbreaking 🥺

Keeley’s not stupid. She knows it’s not the board, Barbra

JUNO TEMPLE!!! 😢😢😢 (first time I got teary this episode)

Scary Mexico Dani 🤘🏼 You just know Cristo had a blast with this episode!! (Peep the guy in the back with the huge smile😂)

Slutty Ted in red with his arms out 🥵

‘It’s hard to see the ball when your eyes are full if tears’ fucking savage 😂

The Wunder Turd. Nice

Fuck Jane though

I think Trent’s next book should just be about Beard. That is an interesting man, for sure! Like, why do you need so many axes, my guy?!

Well that was awkward… but also a little sweet 🫣

‘The creepy old man that lives in the sewers’ Renee, you’ll always be famous to us

Okay, I could go on and on about this, but I think this is a great, subtle way to begin showing Rupert falling apart.

‘When they used to play by candlelight’ YES, REBECCA! FUCK THAT OLD MAN UP!! 😂

‘Some people just are t ready when they get their shot’ That is not at all what happened, Rupert

Oop she knows that’s bullshit, too

HAPPY UNCLE DAY, ROY!! 🎉🎉

Okay, I love Roy’s sister. And also the subtle call back to her actually being the doctor that treated Sharon last season 👍🏼 Nice

Of course that’s the order of Phoebe’s favourite holidays. Uncle Roy is number 1! (&2😉)

Uh oh, secrets out boys! 😂😂

How fucking cute though that Jamie gets a call (probably from Phoebe herself) inviting him to this party and he actually turns up with a really thoughtful gift 🥹 THE GROWTH IN THIS BOY IS GORGEOUS!!

Omg Eloide’s face journey in this scene is perfection. Phoebe has been grossly underused this show!

Also the cutest fucking present. She’s knows your inside is so bright and colourful, Roy! You shouldn’t hide it!

‘Your sister is fit’ ‘I will cut your eyes out’ 😂 okay, but like… I would 100% be behind these two being brother-in-laws, just saying 😂

SAM RICHARDSON!!! 😍 always a blast when he shows up!

And you just know from Toheeb himself that these scenes are a struggle to get through once Sam gets on a roll

But poor Sam, though. Edwin is such a dick

Poor Nate, too. He’s so lost right now 🥺

Yeah, Lloyd, shut up (which is what she meant to say)

Seeing her signs blocked off 🥺🥺 heartbreaking

Since when does her lady ship enter a room like that?? 😂 but I’m glad it means we get to see more physical comedy from Jeremy 👍🏼 Always a bonus!

So her order is Keeley, Ted, Sassy, Leslie and never her mother 😂 I love that actually

‘I hate to break it to you, Rebecca, but those children are dead’ made me laugh just as much as it did the first time! 😂

We love a protective Papa Higgins in this house 🥰 but boy seems traumatised by that story 😂

Oh don’t suck your tie, Leslie 🤦🏻‍♀️

So that photo has shown up on both Keeley & Ted’s phone, but whose did she take it on?? 🤔

That is a bullshit text, Jack. Absolutely no excuse. I knew I was right to not trust you from the start! 😡

‘Everything? Fuck no’ another great call back

Also hell yeah to a Keeley & Mae scene!! (Do have some thoughts about what I’ve seen some people say about this scene, though…)

Whether she’s drunk or making a joke, Keeley actually going with Mae’s full name being Maybe is genius!😂

I really need a Mae in my life. I feel like I could actually get my life in order after a conversation with this woman

Everyone not knowing what to do or how to react to him wearing this t-shirt is brilliant

(Also Red Right Hand playing over this is maybe the last little push I need to finally start Peaky Blinders once this show is done)

Beard trying to get Ted’s attention- amazing. But what was he doing on his phone that he was so focused on??

‘Okay, now I’m worried. Are you alive? Text ‘no’ if dead’ living for silly, real Rebecca! 🥰

The boys all getting together to watch all the games is beautiful 🥹 they’re all so supportive!!

Also genius work casting Colin & Ryan as the commentators for this match 👌🏼

Savage Dani!!

What are you decorating, Rebecca, that you have a ‘decorating made easy’ pdf on your laptop?? 🤔

📢 THE ARMY MAN IS BACK!! 📢

Yo, Rupert is really struggling atm, huh!

Yes I gasped when he threw it on the floor, but had no doubt he’d bake back for it!

Rebecca is a gif sender. Of course she is

Rebecca has anxiety confirmed?? 🤔

Okay this scene with little Rebecca is absolutely gorgeous!! And did make me tear up a little, not gonna lie.

(As I’ve also said, I choose to believe Paul taught her to do that when she was little)

That is going to become his new favourite t-shirt, I can see it already. Something will eventually happen to it and he’s going to be devastated!!

Again, who the fuck is Leann?! Your name is Ruth, woman! 😂 it’s times like this that fanfic really screws with you 😂

‘I teach kids. I don’t mind cleaning up a mess’ tell him like it is, RuthLeann 😂

Aannndd it’s all falling into place finally. Took your time, Roy!!

‘I like clothes that tell the truth’ BARBARA!! You juicy minx 😂 I love you, please never leave!!

I’ve absolutely loved watching these two together 🥹

She’s so awkward, maybe a little bit autistic 🤷🏻‍♀️ makes sense!

Rupert’s being nice. Makes me feel weird…

‘How could I resist the chance of having a bunch of old men speak directly to my chest?’ Don’t try so hard, man. She’s not that funny!!

His assistant is called Bread. A play on Beard perhaps?? 🤔

Okay, what has he said about Rebecca to get a reaction from her like that??

Also this is deliciously awkward. I hope it comes out that Nathan told everyone he was sleeping with his assistant, as well as others, and that’s why he left. And that Bex left him too. You must suffer

Your ex-wife is also not stupid. She knows exactly what happened with your old assistant.

He introduced her as an owner, not his ex. HE’S TRYING SO HARD!!

I’ve had this exact exchange with many an older gentleman in my time. This is too real 🤢

This man and his obsession with Chicago-style hot dogs knows no bounds! 😂

Okay, these baby pictures are cute

Sam pulling the most out of a tiny little thing is wonderful 😂 wonder how long that actually went on for??

‘An untried dream’. Eww.

So Keeley does know how to text back! 🫢

I love how they bring things in from the actors themselves, assuming this really is Nick playing

‘Is this a fucking joke?’ FUCK THEM UP, GIRLIE!!

And Sam’s face 😂

They really just said let’s surround Hannah with kids this episode, huh 😂

Love her talking to a bunch of old men like they’re children, too

Jamie wearing 24 for Sam 🥹🥹🥹 yes, I have to pause until the tears go away

Roy, your handwriting is atrocious

How dare this show make me have a feeling towards Rupert 😡

I agree with you, Edwin, what a lovely speech indeed. Rebecca, you have come so far from the bitter ex-wife who just wanted to destroy something your ex-husband loved. You truly care and love the sport and your boys now and it’s delicious to witness 🥰🥰🥰

Omg that reveal with amazing!! (Although I will say, on my first watch I though initially the food on Tony’s head was because he’d been punched 🫣😂)

Those giggles were purely Hannah & Tony

Nick is absolutely killing in this season. This scene is a great showcase of exactly how these types of families are. It’s beautiful to witness

Also shoutout to the actor playing his dad. He’s done an amazing job too!!

I’m feeling so many emotions watching this scene. Tony is showcasing beautifully exactly how charming Rupert can be. Reminiscing about old times, getting food out of her hair. Doing his ‘Rupert act’ that likely always works for him. But not with her. Not anymore. She’s the strong one now and he’s lost 🥹 Good for you, Rebecca!

She has to look now, Roy, because nobody can read your handwriting 😂

Brett & Juno kill me. His letter is just beautiful and made me tear up every time I’ve listened to it 🥹 AND HE TOLD HER HE STILL LOVES HER!! 🥰

‘Sincerely yours, Roy Kent. XOXO’ 😂😂 never change, please

They really are beautiful and I can’t wait to see them coming back together!

Keeley opening that door and screaming at Rebecca was *chefs kiss* 😂 Juno Temple, comedy queen!

And I want what they have!! I love how she can share her good news, ask for a hug, then tell her she’s cross with her friend. And her friend completely understands. It’s wonderful

Again, being accountable for you actions. Rebecca doesn’t even have to say anything to her

I’ve seen people against Rebecca funding KJPR, but I think it makes perfect sense. Rebecca has the money and she wants to do something within her means to help her friend reach her full potential. Why wouldn’t she help?!

Keely’s disgust is all of us 😂

Baby girl is finally at the top of her mountain! Now just needs her lightening ����

I love that the salute has become Rebecca & Roy’s thing 🥰

Wilk is shocked! Bit what a beautiful gesture!

Barbara left Jack and wants to stay with Keeley, as she should! I’ve said from the beginning she knew what Jack was like, but I think the difference is she actually likes Keeley…

I THINK THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP 🩷🎉🥰

Puppy Dani is back!!

Roy wears a colour other than black (or charcoal heather grey) and Beard learns he can share bits of himself with people. Yes, we’re coming to an end, guys…

She didn’t get rid of the painting!!

Also doesn’t need saying, but how fucking gorgeous is Hannah in this scene! That dress & colour on her are delightful. She’s so fucking soft now!!

She didn’t open the biscuits right away! 👀 and she shuffled closer to Ted 👀 is this it, girls? Is it happening?? I’m not ready! What do I do?!! 🫠

The little smile after she says so no longer cares about beating Rupert 🫣 He’s so proud of her!!

The heart eyes 😍 Ted, she is still your boss! She’s not your wife yet!!

OMFG!! 😂😂 how many times do you think she had to do that before she could do it without laughing?? 😂

‘As long as none of that tree piss gets in my mouth, I’m actually okay with it’ Okay, Ted. We get it!!

Well that episode was absolutely beautiful! On so many fronts!!

I do have more thoughts about a few points which I may elaborate on at some point, but I do feel like it’s showing we’re on the home stretch now 😢

Looks like we’re getting Mumma Lasso next episode, too!! 🫣 Kinda vibrating with excitement, but at the same time telling myself not to expect too much! But she’s in Richmond so it’s only right to assume there’d be a scene between her & Rebecca, right??

Only 2 more left babes!! 🫡

[lottiecrabie]

i’m sorry if this makes no sense at all i just must get this off my chest - feel free to ignore ❤️

i’ve never wanted to be linecook reader so bad.

20 yr old country club waitress here! in love with 33 year old linecook😁😁 god help me

preface: idk him super well just very hot and hot personality (also tattoos, big beefy arms LOL, mildly cunty but kinda shy at first yktv!) but he has asked me to smoke a couple times just the kitchen usually gets to head out before front of the house does so i never did (im also grossly self conscious Haha).

okay! so a group of us were drinking after working a wedding (still on the clock oops) and one of the guys my age was talking about girl problems and Mr Love of my Life is giving him weird pointers and they’re talking about sex and being graphic idk i was Not sober but i know i looked like a tomato listening to them. boy my age says his type is “big booty latinas” ok thank u true. but sir we didn’t ask❤️ and then my man (😁) is like “nah nah i like [insert my weight/body type, eye color, hair color]” also - i am Not skinny (i gained a lot of weight the past two years after having an ED in high school blah blah blah as well as the fact that every girl i work with is skinny, like flat stomach skinny and i’m not being dramatic) so him describing me quite literally made me giddy which is so stupid, to be shocked that a hot man (that every girl thinks is hot) would find a chubby girl attractive but here i am. i could say so much more but this is embarrassingly long!

i’m delulu right ? or does he want me LOL

thanks for listening bestie love u!

ohhh this is so exciting for you Yay!!! i mean you are at the very least clearly his type. i think it would be very easy for you to get with him considering Men and considering Linecooks especially, you’d probably only have to Offer lol. now it might be just sex and nothing more serious and it might break your heart so You Know i must legally reiterate the title of my fic; don’t fuck the line cooks. that being said i would go for it🤭🤭 get good sex!!

[survivor-trinidad-and-tobago]

Episode 9: "What in in the tattooed baby Jesus tap-dancing through frozen-over hell just happened?"—eman

In this round: a Popularity Contest finally gives some clues about where allegiances lie; Super Sleuth Steven reveals to Alex and Kaleigh that Jack and Champ know each other (cue an audible gasp); Michael got the only game advantage at the merge feast which clues him in to a powerful advantage at the Auction; eman unexpectedly gives up immunity to Tony and is outed as being in six alliances; and a double tribal and a Full Transparency Advantage play by Raffy sows chaos, leaving Raffy and Steven in the dust

Raffy

Last night, after tribal, people ended up staying on call. It was Steven, Kaleigh, Alex, Colin, Eman, and I. Zee and Jack were there, but they left earlier. I felt really good about those 6 people if I am being honest. We vibed really well together. I am hoping that this can be an alliance in the near future because I feel it could be a really strong group.

I am so excited for Steven to be back. I may have been a little too excited since that could easily be read as a duo, but I don't particularly care. He's back and I'm happy. I definitely think I will be working with Steven.

Right now, my next targets for tribal council are Kolby and Tony. I just feel like Kolby is very paranoid and strategic meaning he'd be a wildcard of a player. Tony, meanwhile, I just don't really know. Like, he's a person I've never been on a tribe with at this point.

Jack

Colin

what COWARDS use a RANDOMIZER during a POPULARITY CONTEST challenge?????

Kaleigh

ok. so. astyn ended up going home 5-1 (michael). zee wants raffy out. steven wants kolby out. OH AND STEVEN’S BACK. uh so we have a redemption island situation. steven came back with the vote info, who voted what, who lost their votes, etc. so we know zee and champ didn’t use their extra votes and that colin voted michael. champ had told me that she had to use her vote at the last tribal, so i was likeee ok she lied??? when i saw she didn’t use it. but apparently bc we merged before she went to tribal its just a regular extra vote now. but i didn’t learn that till after i messaged her asking for my vote back LMAOO she is fully avoiding me, took over 24 hours to respond but was at the auction and the challenge just regular degular!

at the auction i won some food which gave me a hint to the idol and also told everyone i won a hint to the idol. luckily no one’s asked me about it… but this idol hunt is soooo scary. i hate it. then i ended up being a finalist for popularity contest and in the position to pick between eman and colin. i trust eman more than colin AND thought i’d be less likely to win against eman so i picked eman but not without an award-winning performance pretending i was using a randomizer. i mean i was going to but then i couldn’t find the button on the website. ANYWAY.

so eman and i tied when everyone had to vote for who wins immunity so it was randomized and eman won. zee thinks steven/colin/raffy are a voting bloc. could be! and now she’s less wary of alex bc he was the first vote out lmao which was honestly surprising but also good like, yes plz think alex is doing nothing in this game. anyway i need to stop using confessionals like a recap, we do not need a recap.

alex and steven and i figured out that tony + michael know each other outside the game and that jack + champ are actually IRL friends so that is like…. insane and huge info. we are geniuses. steven and alex and i tried to figure out a way to get someone besides raffy out (either zee or kolby) but we’re scared. i feel pretty certain we are grossly overestimating zee’s influence in this game lol but better safe than sorry i guessss! champ still seems to want to work with me and alex despite the fact that i asked for my vote back and she curved me and then said no basically LMAO ok girl! jack messaged me after the challenge and said he “heard tony’s name.” like, okay, work! alex talked to champ and said she suggested maybe michael or tony or kolby and he was like OOOO KOLBY??? OKAYYYY, cuz we want kolby gone bc he seems to be very tight with zee annnnd it would be good to knock down her number…s? but alex told her he hadn’t heard anyone yet. good job alex. this tribal is going to be such a shitshow i’m so exhausted these calls last hours !

i still have my knowledge is power advantage and now i have the idol hunt clue and i have $60. AND I’LL FINALLY BE ABLE TO VOTE AT TRIBAL, GOODDDDD. where can i spend this money?!?!?!?!?!

i love alex and steven, they are angels and i feel very lucky and glad that we’re working together. at this point i feel i would be happy to see either of them win. colin is still a huge mystery to me, i msged them and was like LMAOOO CUTE VOTE! cuz they had msged me before the vote and said he was voting for astyn cuz there was ‘no reason to go against the tribe’ LMAO then he voted michael and was the only one. which like, sure it’s maybe not fun to have a unanimous vote annnnnd now if astyn comes back they have a buddy. but i didnt even ask who they were going to vote for, like they j randomly told me LMAOOO but ya we got to laugh about it so i feel ok with colin. tho he did vote for eman in the popularity challenge.. that little shit!

oh steven told me that you can buy a fake idol in purgatory and give it to someone in the game LMFAO SO IF SOMEONE WE VOTE OFF SENDS ME AN IDOL I WILL BE KEEPING THAT IN MIND!!! sorry hosts, i might try and do a video confessional before tribal but who knows! enjoy this diary entry!

oh ALSO. alex said jack had messaged him before the challenge and said that he was gonna vote me or alex first in the popularity contest? which he did (me) but like, telling alex that is like so random, i immediately was like, alex, baby, he knows we are tight bc we have that alliance with champ and jack and champ are irl friends even tho theyre pretending not to be LMAO alex was like ohhh yeahhhhhhh. so i was like, jack seems a lil like a lost lamb, we shld probably make a lil group chat for him or sth at some point. he honestly seems like a lil sweetie. anyway now it seems like tony is out. i would rather see kolby go but neither of them talk to me so ultimately who cares.

Jack

SAD :(

Eman

Oh man. Oh woman. Oh camera. Oh television . . .

Things what happened since my last confession.

Voted out Astyn.

Got to having some good conversations with Alex.

Got approached by Colin to form a secret alliance because no one would suspect us of working together.

Began second guessing more vibes. (Especially Kolby & Zee)

Vibe-checked Colin and Zee with Alex (why not).

Steven returned (which in the context of some of Kolby's other inconsistencies has me rethinking a lot).

Got involved in a MARATHON post-tribal chat/game/convo.

Which resulted in . . . my THIRD alliance.

So there's that.

--

What in in the tattooed baby Jesus tap-dancing through frozen-over hell just happened?

I'm actually talking about the auction not the popularity contest.

I'm slightly more uncomfortable with the peanut butter purchasing and people helping me buy it than I am with the results of the popularity contest. Why were people throwing money at me like I had the last snow shovel in a 5 foot blizzard?

Don't get me wrong, the results of the popularity contest both ameliorated and exacerbated every high school trauma . . . and while I'm kinda stroking my metaphorical beard about how well I played pretending to randomize things while actually being very calculating (yes, I made a list ahead of time - and then based my vote based on every other move made up to that point (ironically, I truly suck at chess)) and also about the fact that I'm 95% certain that all the other members of the Mystery Machine alliance were doing something similar based solely on the fact that we managed to occupy so many of the final slots . . . (that may have just been the longest dependant clause in the history of the English language, nevermind my abuse of parentheticals)

BUT I am also simultaneously truly horrified at the outcome - here I am (with Kaleigh) on display as someone that everyone likes/is willing to save. Here I am (with Kaleigh) splitting the vote between everyone for winner of this immunity. Here I am (with Kaleigh) pretty much advertising that NO ONE IS GOING TO WANT TO SIT NEXT TO THIS INCREDIBLY LIKEABLE PERSON AT THE END.

Fuck me sideways with a rotting trout skeleton.

My only saving grace is that the final immunity was randomized. Thank you for that, Champ.

--

Wondering who actually reads the tribe posts . . .

The reason I'm wondering is b/c it looked like post-auction that I'd actually just paid all that money for nothing more than a jar of peanut butter.

But then post-tribal in the post it came out that I had an advantage--based on the auction results post.

So in one group I tried to get ahead of it saying that it was just a 10% (thank you, Tony!), in another (Tony's group, I just said, oh - hey, I got an advantage) without disclosing what it was. And then in a third, I've not said anything (mostly because based on current vibes/whims, I kinda wanna strategically tell the truth, but I'm NOT quite there yet).

AND yet NO ONE--in either group chat or DM--has said, "so, hey, eman, you have an advantage after all . . . 'sup?"

And why does this matter?

Well, friends & frenemies, the advantage is that I can bank a vote.

And in classic overthinking fashion, I'm going to be pondering whether tonight's the night I wanna use it. Mostly because when better to NOT vote then when you're guaran-damn-teed to be safe, amiright?

But I don't wanna not vote if I am not 100% certain that the person for whom I'd otherwise cast my vote is going home.

Or maybe, for just once, I let go of my control-freak type-a side and let chaos reign. (As long as I know that everyone with whom I'm tight is also safe . . .)

Colin

okay THIS is starting to feel like a real merge tribal.

last night, Jack, Raffy and I decided we wanna vote Tony because there's too many og soca, and we were gonna spread it around throughout the day today.

so THEN Steven allegedly told Zee that he wants Kolby out. Zee went around and was saying that Steven is gunning for Kolby. now Kolby is saying that he wants Steven out

I did plant a little Kolby too. He's misrepresenting it by saying Steven is recklessly throwing his name out, but I corrected it and told him it's actually ZEE who's spreading it around that his name is being said. I'm not sure if Steven told Zee in confidence that he wants Kolby out or what, but I feel like we're not getting the whole story.

i can't WAIT to see how this turns out hehe

Alex

honestly kolby saving michael over me in that first round was maybe the best possible thing for my game. it hopefully got zee off my back since she told at least kaleigh that me and kolby are all tight when in reality it's them who are tight and now zee thinks i'm not talking to people as much as i am. i want her to gooo lol. i never know where her head is at, she has NO interest in talking game to me, and now i don't know where champ stands with me and kaleigh compared to zee. the elite want to take out her or kolby but just cannot figure out how to swing the numbers yet. i'm playing with the elite and the heroes which ultimately works for me I think long-term in case the elite end up in the minority, but zee going is in my best interest. your onion is too layered! it's threatening! and i really like BOTH groups of people, i'd call kaleigh and eman my closest allies and favorite people in the game, but i don't know how to combine them without being like hiii yeah i'm coordinating more than any of you know! i've gotta figure out where eman is at without being too pushy. they were worried about colin being so willing to give that information up about zee at the summit but if i can switch it around to being worried about zee playing so strongly and not telling any of us. the way i actually WANT raffy to have an idol now so he could potentially negate the votes zee maybe wants to put on him if she's telling kaleigh the truth. ugh.

Champ

I HAVE SO MUCH TO WRITE AND SO LITTLE TIME TO DO SO😭 so like if I get blindsided by this vote IM RAGE QUITTING jk but like I will be outraged, I’m trying to set up a very big blindside and if I miss… IM TOAST so everything and everyone better work on according to plan otherwise I WILL blow up some peoples games. Also idk why I’m sounding so aggressive rn lol anyways the way it was between Kaleigh and eman for the popularity contest was not a surprise… i see right through them, great game players, so great socially!! They are pretty much allied with everyone and like who are you actually loyal too😭?? I could write a novel but I’m running out of time. I’m genuinely nervous about this vote

Steven

--

Kolby

Tony

This tribal feels serious AF! Apparently folks are throwing my name around and it’s got me hella nervous because I didn’t anticipate myself being a threat, but maybe I am at this point in the merge. All I know right now is that Champ and Eman are backing me and that’s enough to calm my nerves for now.

Michael

Busy weekend for me and a busy time in the game, not opportune at all. I fear Tony is going next but we'll have to see. Trying to do what I can to save my friend here. There are talks of a vote being organized against Raffy, so it could go wither way. Will not be present at tonight's tribal so who knows how it's going to go.

Zee

These hoes ain't loyal. Not one fucking bit. Pardon my french but ya girl is sussed out by a lot of people recently. I don't think I can trust Kaleigh, recently I've just been getting strange vibes from her, and I think she could be in with the men, which is sad, because it means out of the Mystery Machine Alliance, she'd be the first to go. The challenge was wild, but here's what it taught me: Tony trusts Eman and Michael the most, meaning that they probably got his shared advantage which he purchased from the auction. Colin, Steven, Raffy, and probably Alex(hell, maybe even Jack) seem to be in an alliance, and they all told me they "couldn't see where tribe lines fell" meanwhile we all witnessed Steven and Colin continually save Raffy, and then the Colin-Steven saving cycle that happened a million and one times over. I also do feel like I would consider myself closest to Champ and Eman. I'm trying to get a chicken coop alliance with me, Kolby, and Eman going. I kept randomizering people's names, very obviously. But in reality I was just picking random people from the list. I picked Tony a couple times. I picked Eman, Kaleigh, and Champ. Kaleigh seemed like it was the last thing she wanted, to save me, Champ tried not to but like if it came down to it she saved me, so I'm not sure about Kaleigh. The vibes are off, and I don't think I can trust her anymore.

The plan is, hopefully, to get Raffy out, or at least flush an idol. Steven told me he wants to get Kolby, so maybe their group will be voting Kolby, so worst case scenario, Kolby goes home, or the votes are more split. Champ and I combined have 4 votes, which we're(for now) planning on using. Then Eman says they want to get Raffy out, and maybe Tony will vote with them, and perhaps Michael will vote with Tony as well. So in that case we're at what, 7? If we can get Kolby and Kaleigh on board that's 9 for Raffy, but again I have no idea who's side Kaleigh is actually on. I haven't told Eman about the fact that I don't trust Kaleigh, nor have I told them about this extra vote. If they're really worried, I might say it, but who knows.

Also as a little lover of chaos, I'm thinking of using my Full Transparency Advantage. If there is a plot against me, or Kolby, or if anyone doesn't vote the way they've said they will, then I'll know. If I go to Purgatory, I'll know who sent me, and honestly I'll probably bestow my Idol to Champ. Sure, people will know I voted Raffy, but that's alright. I'm still just considering it, depending on how confident I am at Tribal, I might use it. We'll see how it all goes.

Raffy

This morning, Zee came to me saying that Steven threw out Kolby's name as a potential vote. I told this to Jack and Colin (in our three-person alliance called "AA Meeting" - named after our dearly departed Astyn and Andrea). After comparing notes, it seems like Zee was exaggerating what Steven had said and is trying to pit Kolby and Steven against each other. I have to say that it is a smart move as that could provide shields to hide behind. However, even Alex has figured out Zee is probably lying and is playing a little reckless. So now Zee seems to be on people's radars. Even Colin told Kolby like "I actually heard your name from Zee, not Steven." I've been just trying to get Tony out as he's not really around. This is more of a planting seeds round than it is like intense strategy maneuvering.

Also I do not trust Zee. She never wants to banter or talk strategy with me. It feels like I give her all this information for free, but she never shares any of her own thoughts and opinions. Like, you've got to give me something or I'm gong to think you're just using me to get information. She's shady. I got to watch what I say to her.

Tribal Council

Tribal Council #6 Votes:

Jack: Raffy (hey bb ily and hopefully u play an idol or something but a threat has to go :()

Michael: Raffy (This may put a giant target on my head, but I'm doing this for my buddy. Sorry Raffy, hope to play with you again!)

Tony: Raffy (Had to protect myself)

Alex: Kolby (Not how I planned on voting, but also not how I saw this tribal going, so… *shrug emoji* sorry!)

Champ: Raffy (Sorry I honestly don’t think you’re going home)

Champ (Extra Vote): Raffy

Eman: Raffy (Please whatever high atop the thing let this work)

Kaleigh: Kolby

Kolby: Steven (I’m afraid of a double idol play with no votes so i’m throwing this on you and hoping you go home with one vote <3)

Zee: Raffy (Love you King)

Zee (Extra Vote): Raffy (Idk lol like what do I say)

Colin: Kolby (What the FUCK is going on)

Raffy: Kolby (Idk I wasn’t planning on voting you, but I had no other name to go on)

Steven: Kolby (So I’m very confused but I guess this is the best decision for me while under this time constraint)

Tribal Council #7 Votes:

Jack: Steven

Michael: Kolby (That just seems like where the heat was going if no-one voted the way they said they would. Sorry Kolby, have fun in Europe !)

Tony: Colin (it feels too late for me to know if I can trust you and I had to make a choice :/)

Alex: Zee (Idk, sorry, you’re the first name I heard.)

Champ: Steven (This vote doesn’t matter bc I think you have an idol)

Eman: Steven (Can’t risk an idol play, yikes.)

Kaleigh: Zee (ILY BUT ONLY HEARD UR NAME AND U DIDNT GIVE ME A PLANNN GL ON PURGATORY <3)

Kolby: Steven

Zee: Steven

Colin: Zee (I don’t know who i can trust)

Steven: Zee (This could fuck me up but no one is in my dms so whatever I guess)

[hngrylikethewoolf]

Most Ardently || Tirrol, Regency AU

Task 3: Plot an AU with a partner AND Task 12:  Plot a thread with two characters who do not know each other where they have to solve a problem

@exsgttibbs

The single most advantage to attending these soirees of Lord Lynton's was the absence of the young ladies plying their Season and their mothers hawking their daughters toward the eligible bachelors of the country. For once only the elite few eligible to attend, male or female, could have some peace and soak up the unruly behavior of their comrades away from the prying eyes of their mothers, sisters, wives and husbands, of those sorely afflicted.

Beyond this, these gatherings were mediocre at best and abysmal at worst; however, the scotch was decent and the smoking room was blessedly silent, removed from the raucousness of dancing and gambling down the hall that gave the fourth Earl of Lieges some peace of mind.

At least, until, the screaming started.

Sighing wearily into the last sip of his drink, Errol Woolf downed the rest of the brew, straightened his jacket, ran a hand through his unruly curls, and strode out toward the hall. He was met there by another man, a silent companion who had taken refugee just as he had, and so the earl nodded his head in greeting before gesturing for the other man to proceed him once more unto the fray.

[nxtsnw]

happy Birthday, Izana <3

n.a.: in Japan, it is already August 20, Izana's birthday, and that's why I post it now <3 I'm very fond of this character, which is also why it hurt a little bit to write this. This man really deserves the world.I hope you like it, and once again, happy birthday Izana <3

summary: 30th august, Izanas birthday<3

genre: angst, fluff, hurt to comfort

warnings: sad(?)

words: 1.2k

* It was a warm August morning, exactly August 30th, when Izana woke up early for the light infiltrated his room in the first hours of the day.

* As he was excited about his birthday, he immediately got up and ran into the kitchen.

* There, he found his grandfather and his older brother, Shinichiro, cooking pancakes and much other good stuff for breakfast.

* Neither Emma and Mikey had woken up yet, but Izana was too happy and couldn't resist the lure to go and wake up them

* He ran to their room and opened the windows wide before starting to scream that it was time to wake up, it was too important a day to sleep!! In response, the two siblings threw their pillows at him.

* And this is how it started a pillow fight at 8 am. It was around 9 am when Shinichiro tried to stop them, but eventually, he got involved in the fight.

* And by now, at 10 am, they were all seated at the table having breakfast.

* Between pancakes flying around the kitchen and noisy chatter, breakfast ended early.

* Shortly after, Emma ran into her room and took a small box that contained a gift, and along with the other two brothers, she gave it to him.

* In there, there were beautiful red dangle earrings, in the boy's eyes they seemed like a little treasure all for him, he was so happy that he quickly put them on.

* Maybe they were slightly heavy, but he didn't complain at all, he managed to thank everyone by giving them a big and warm hug.

* After that cheesy moment, the quartet got ready to spend the day together.

* They had spent the morning walking around the city, also having lunch in their favorite restaurant. The minutes passed, and so did the hours, and in no time the late afternoon had arrived. Mikey and Shinichiro had locked Izana in his room and while Emma had taken the birthday cake (that they had cooked the day before) out of the refrigerator.

* In a short time, the house was ready, furnished with scattered lights, a few snacks, and various drinks.

* As soon as he left the room, Izana froze, there was a new atmosphere, a feeling of pure happiness invaded the boy's heart. He looked around with a lost look, and the cake on the table caught his attention. It was grossly decorated, and it was clear that it was homemade by the three siblings, but he didn't notice any imperfections.

* Shinichiro was the first to start with the song "Happy birthday to you". But the atmosphere wasn't embarrassing, rather when the others began to sing, a sense of comfort and warmth trespassed the hearts of all present.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY IZANA!!" they yelled to him.

* Soon after, he blew out the candles, wishing he could make that day last forever.

Oh, Izana would have wanted so badly to have a birthday like that. But, even that night, he had woken up sweating, and with wet eyes from tears, it was just a dream.

That dream had all been so vivid that, even if briefly, his heart had warmed with a new pleasant feeling.

He wanted so much for that feeling to last longer. He had also turned over in bed and closed his eyes, hoping to continue his magic dream.

* He had never continued that happy dream, but he had managed to fall asleep again. He had been sleeping peacefully after a long time, so he had woken up more rested and ready to start the day.

* A slight sense of loneliness took hold of him, it was his birthday after all, but no one knew. Or rather, this is what he believed.

* While he was making his usual coffee, someone rang at his door. It was Kakucho, who entered saying that there was a very urgent task they had to do and that they couldn't waste time.

* So Izana sadly left his coffee and followed Kakucho. Waiting for them outside there was Koko, in his car driven by a private driver, who told him to get on.

* There was a lot of silence in that car, and the two black-haired boys were just intent on using the phone, never speaking a word.

* Izana tried to figure out where they were directed, but each time the other two boys had managed to sidetrack the conversation, so much so that the leader was starting to lose patience.

* Several times he would have liked to get off the car, but since it was his birthday he had promised himself to be better, and after a half-hour of driving, they arrived.

* As soon as he got out of the car, there was a small noise and a lot of colored confetti and streamers came upon him.

"SANZU! YOU DID IT TOO SOON IDIOT" Ran's voice was followed by the turning on of the lights which revealed a large room set up for a birthday party.

* A second bang and more confetti flew at Izana...

" SHION NOT YOU TOO," Ran continued yelling.

"AHHHH I'M SORRY, I WAS ONLY FOLLOWING SANZU"

"So they've already been discovered," Koko said to Kakucho.

"Yeah, I think so .." the boy replied.

* Izana meanwhile was frozen, what the fuck was going on ??

"Well that's okay, that's how it went now," Rindou said before coming out of his hiding place.

* "Y'all are idiots," Ran continued, and soon after they all had come out of their hideout.

"What's happening?" were Izana's first words.

“Um so, basically we wanted to organize a surprise for you since today is your birthday…” Kakucho replied.

"But someone has ruined everything." Ran added, glaring at Sanzu.

"Ops"

“I- I don't know what to say,” Izana spoke

"AHH YOU ARE NOT ANGRY, ARE YOU?" Rindou asked.

"No, I'm not"

* And for the third time, there was a small pop and then confetti flew at Izana.

"SHION!!! NOT AGAIN"

"SORRY, I didn't do it on purpose-"

* And at that moment a slight laugh escaped Izana, and that was followed by all present.

“Come on, shall we eat this cake or not? I bring it, and I swear to you that I paid a lot- " Koko said.

* So they headed for the cake, it was very beautiful!! all decorated with red and blue decorations.

* From the first embarrassment and sense of discomfort, the whole climate between those boys was improving.

* Izana was so happy, that sense of warmth he had felt in the dream seemed to have become true. Did he deserve all of that?

* But he wiped his eyes and smiled, he wanted to enjoy those beautiful emotions as much as possible.

“You know, it was Kakucho who wanted to organize it,” Koko told him before being hit by more confetti.

"WHAT THE FUCK? WHO'S THE IDIOT WHO LEFT THE CONFETTI SHOOTING STUFF IN SHION?" he screamed before reaching him to beat him.

* Meanwhile, Izana had approached Kakucho,

"Um Kakucho, thank you," he spoke in a low voice.

"Oh, happy birthday Izana, and that's what friends do, right?" the black-haired boy replied, looking at him and smiling.

* This was an unforgettable birthday for Izana<3

[beesmygod]

The hive works thing makes sense as it seems every comic artist affiliated with them has either become openly miserable and burnt out or pivoted towards ig style content creation ideology. Since they used to be so respected it’s sad but expected almost

Excited for your self publishing adventures though!

thank you for the well wishes! to be honest i am not sure what other peoples experience with the company is as it is difficult ask around for that sort of thing and to be honest i was not close or grew close enough to any new artists to be able to ask them that. i think your experience varies greatly based on your comic's performance.

ofc its going to be hard to talk about much of this without sounding like a little sour grapes bitch, but i think thats the price of trying to talk abt it at all. as far as im aware the operations of hive are pretty obfuscated to nearly everyone not immediately involved, so a little light on why it didnt work for me can at least shed a little insight from an uncommon source. but remember: i can only speculate to a reasonable degree based on my own experiences and because i have a uhhhh caustic writing style, i want to be sure to try to reign in my impulse for hyperbole. reader beware!!! you're in for boring dry answers.

well. sort of. one of the last things that blew me away was being told that laughing at the dork ass losers who use auto-tracing techniques on free clip studio assets caused them to pull some of their pitches from consideration. okay? how the fuck was i supposed to feel about this info?? some people who cant draw by admission and refuse to learn on purpose did you a favor by removing themselves from consideration. the mere idea of even being considered equitable to that gaggle of morons is too much lol. my newly and grossly inflated self-image cannot take this. thats too far lol. deeply insulting shit. that combined with the years and years of repeatedly being put on the backburner and having to nag myself hoarse to get anything done made it clear that respect, if it was ever involved in the first place, had narrowed to a one way street

a close friend of mine gave me some advice when i was asking around, but admitted they were having a hard time staying objective bc they were embittered by the change in hiveworks from what they perceived as an artist collective to a Brand(c). i hadnt even considered this view and was even more shocked to hear that multiple long time webcomic readers found out about hive through me. my perception of it from the inside was very odd and warped, i had a hard time coming to terms with realizing i was not getting what i was hoping for from the experience (comradery, support).

[captainhysunstuff]

Transcript:  The Chain - Light Crisis

The Chain - Light Crisis comic

Light:  *thinking* Geez.  How could this happen?  Why did I allow things to escalate this far?  ...Who am I kidding?  I wanted to kiss him.  I shouldn’t, but I still do.  This is awful.

Yeah!  It is!  I shouldn’t even be considering his suggestion to “run away.”  Not seriously, anyway.  I can’t!  What would my dad think?  Me wanting a relationship with his boss.

Soichiro:  Keep trying.

Matsuda:  Sorry, Chief!

Light:  *thinking about Soichiro’s disapproval* That sounds like his problem.

It’s beyond inappropriate!

I’m chained to a weird ass genius detective who thinks I’m Kira.  This has been grossly inappropriate the whole time.  What’s playing with him and developing feelings for each other on top of that?

I have a girlfriend!

...That I’m gonna dump the first chance I get.

Fine.  And what if I do go through with it when this is over?  What if it’s not genuine?  If our hormones are just going crazy from being around each other so long?  What if it doesn’t last, and I want to leave?  Without the task force around... he’d have a huge advantage over me.  *starts hyperventilating* Isolate me.  Imprison me again.  HE COULD--

L:  Light-kun.

Light:  Eh?

L:  We should take a break.  Let’s go to the kitchen.

Light:  Yeah.  ...Sure.

L:  *spooning a ton of hot chocolate mix into a cup*

Light:  Henh, might be faster to just dump the whole can in there and call it a day.

L:  Measuring with spoonfuls is more exact.

Light:  *laugh* That’s fair.  *thinking* Okay.  Calm down.  Improper as it is, it’s not the end of the world, I guess.  L may be powerful, but he’s still just a guy.  A  human being.  Even in the event that he tries to pull something, I’d be able to handle it.  He’s willing to listen to me.  He didn’t even make a big deal of it when I didn’t follow through last night.

He can’t make me do anything I don’t want to do.  The closet he’s gotten was sitting in on his plan with Misa.  Even then, I managed to “officially” end that with Dad’s help.

And the imprisonment thing...  He’s made it clear that he doesn’t want to lock me up, even on the off chance he can somehow prove that I am Kira.  Doesn’t mean he won’t, but I could probably get a favorable outcome from that, too...

*blushes* And besides that... the fact that he is so powerful and dangerous... is kind of exciting.  Why lie about it.  He excites me.  That’s never happened before.  I... want to see where it goes.

*nods* Yeah.  You know what?  Fuck it.  That settles it.  Sorry, Dad (but not really).  I want this.  I’ve been “perfect” long enough.  I’m an adult.  I can make my own decisions, and as long as I’m careful...

L:  What are you smiling about over there?

Light:  This is just really good hot chocolate.  Really hits the spot!

L:  It had better be.  This stuff is expensive.

Light:  Ha!  Like you care, Mr. “I built a skyscraper to solve a case!”

L:  It’s a very important case.  *thinking* He’s in a better mood now.  Good.  ♥ 

Light:  What are you smiling at?

L:  You’re right.  The hot chocolate is really good today.

Light:  Can you even taste it now??   

[nikethestatue]

I’d love to know if you have any zodiac academy theories! Spoilers: Will both twins rule or just one? Vard being the painted smile man from the prophecy huh? How will the star man impact things? Favorite character and ship? I really love this series at your recommendation. It was fabulous and I actually find the plot so interesting!! Is there just one more book? I know this isn’t your main thing so no worries if you don’t want to talk about it on your blog.

DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT READ ZODIAC ACADEMY OR IF YOU DO AND DON"T WANT SPOILERS

Oh I am so excited that you read it because of my recommendation!

I am ZA obsessed and I am always happy to talk about it. I pushed and pressured and begged my friends to read it, and many of them are currently suffering through the trauma. Hehe. You are welcome.

So, there is a series that's set 5 years after ZA, Darkmore Penitentiary, which basically deals with Rosalie Oscura, so we know that the world is left standing. Whatever Clyde does, it doesn't bring the end to Solaria. So i guess that's good? Though there are indications that things went to shit for some time there.

Grossly vague hints are thrown about regarding the twins and the Heirs, but there are no real answers, except for Vard actually. Vard continues his experiments, though I don't know if he is alive, or if it's his 'legacy'.

I wonder about Tharix and how he will play into this, who will finally end Lionel? I hope that it will be Darius, Xavier and Tory together.

I personally think that if Tory and Darius survive, which is doubtful, I somehow think that neither one would end up ruling. I feel like there might be yet another bargain between them and the stars, that they would give up claims to power/throne to live together for their allotted time. (You know they have to remain together to survive, so I can see them giving up their claims for a life of happiness).

Truthfully, i dont think either sister would rule--I think ultimately, there will be a change in government and maybe the Vegas would retain their titles, but the set up would be more democratic. Right now, 4 families plus the Vegas rule the whole kingdom. That's not ideal.

I LOVE Seth (yes, I know, controversial) but he shouldn't ruling anything. Max proved to be very ruthless so I dont think he is a good candidate either. Caleb, not sure. He is probably the most level headed and smartest of them all, but what's he gonna do alone?

Firmly team ToryDarius :) or as we call them -- Doxy. I love them and their disturbing passion for each other.

I really love Tory, and I love Darius as individuals too. I love reading their chapters. To me, they are superior in every way. Xavier is my baby boy. I probably love Orion as a character the most. (Not a big Darcy fan, tbh, so Darion ship is okay, but that's about it)

They said one more book. We'll see. I suspect there might be 12 total, for each sign, or at least 2 more. I don't know how they'll tie that many loose ends in one book. They have 4 villains to deal with, with at least 1 super villain. I mean, initially, it was supposed to have been 7 books and now we are up to 9. So there might be more.

[ben-talks-art]

Thoughts on Chainsaw Man

I talk a lot about this series on my Tumblr so I felt I might as well share how I overall feel about the manga and the anime.

I was planning on doing just a review of the anime at first but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I don't have really much to say.

It's just the manga animated. Sometimes it looks really good like the latest fight with Katana Man or, still in my opinion the best-looking fight, the one with the bat devil, and then sometimes it looks kinda stiff and robotic like against Zombie devil or too muddy and hard to see like Eternity devil. It's a show with some high points and low points but overall I do feel they did a good job bringing the manga to life and am excited for season 2.

So, how do I feel about the manga?

This might come as absolutely no shock but Chainsaw Man (is it Chainsaw Man or Chainsawman? I never know...) is probably one of my all-time favorite mangas.

There are so many things about this thing that I just adore in ways I didn't know I could. It's right up there with "Zatch Bell", "Claymore", "Fullmetal Alchemist" and "Grand Blue" as series that felt like hit me in just the right way because it manages to do a bunch of things that really appeal to me and the amount of things in it I like grossly overshadow the things I don't like.

For those that don't know the story, our main lead, Denji, is a teenage boy that leaves in a world filled with devils, creatures that come from hell that are powered by people's fear and blood. Each devil represents a different type of phobias like sharks, guns, spiders, ghosts, divorce, marriage, school, Mondays, and even the scariest thing of all... The future. The more people are afraid of a thing, the stronger that devil representation is.

Due to some somewhat complicated and overall dark events, Denji ends up becoming the chainsaw devil after making a contract with it, and after that, joins a group of hunters that go after other devils and sending them back to hell until they escape once again.

Most of the story is just following Denji as he beats up some really well-designed creatures alongside the supporting cast of characters who at first all feel like they're either gonna be boring or annoying but the more you get to know them the more you get to like them.

While that is going on we keep getting a few hints that Denji's boss, the leader of the devil hunters, might not be exactly what she seems and part of the fun is slowly finding out just what her deal is and what she wants with him.

Okay, so, what do I like about this series?

The thing that really sold me on this thing is the combination of two elements, its confidence, and its style.

What I mean by confidence is, you can tell that the author is thinking first "What do I find cool? What do I find interesting? What do I want to talk about? What would be fun to explore and show to other people? What kind of series would I want to read?"

Chainsaw Man doesn't feel like a series made to sell, it feels like a passion project. It doesn't try to force your usual tropes and cliches, it doesn't try to copy what's popular, it doesn't try to tell the same old stories we've seen billions of times before, it just feels like it's a combination of a bunch of things someone likes meshed together in one place.

You can tell that this author likes crazy monster designs, wild and fun action scenes, badass female characters, conversations and discussions about what it means to be human or what it means to be happy, and tons and tons of juvenile humor as well as what I can only describe as an attempt to de-glamorize the feel of being a shounen protagonist by presenting lots of misery, lots of disappointment, lots of gross moments, but still trying to show that this life is something that is necessary for the world.

On top of all that, he's confident enough in his writing skills that he knows he can use all these elements in a way that can be appreciated by other people. He knows who he is and what he likes and he knows how to make what he likes look fun.

But confidence only gets you so far. There are some things that even if you write in the best way you can you still won't be able to sell it to most people if it just so happens to not be their thing.

For example, this author has another series called "Fire Punch" which has quite a few similar beats. Weird designs, wild action scenes, silly humor, a depressing but necessary tone, interesting messages to think about... But it just didn't hit the checkmarks in the way I wish it did.

You can still feel the confidence and there are honestly some themes in it I feel are stronger than Chainsaw Man, but the style was one that didn't particularly appealed to me.

It's the same problem I had with this manga called "Blue Lock." I feel the writing in it is phenomenal... But I just can't for the life of me enjoy the idea of a series about football, so while I can say it's good, I can't say I like it.

Meanwhile, in Chainsaw Man, everything just clicks.

I love these designs, I love this idea of weapon-people fighting each other, I love the idea of monsters powered by fear and being defeated by facing that fear. I love how freaking metal Denji looks when he is transformed!

I also adore this cast of characters. Makima and Asa are two of my all-time favorite characters ever, Power I think is one step away from starting her own religion because she's just that popular with people, Kobeni is the ultimate "must be protected" while also being the ultimate "I'm in this picture and I don't like it" character, and of course, I just love Denji and his complete braindead way of thinking in how he approaches his problems. He's the definition of simple but efficient.

I also love how this author approaches writing the female cast, like, my God, I am so freaking sick of women and girl characters whose entire personality starts and ends with "I am the male lead's 'something', and I have basically no purpose in my existence without the male lead." I like how all these women feel real, and on top of that feel cool.

Then there is also the fact that I really like how this series explores misery and struggles.

I love seeing miserable people- ... Wait, that came out wrong... I love seeing different explorations of people's struggles, what is their struggle, why they're struggling with it, how I can relate to that, and how they overcome it, and this manga is just a myriad of different and unique struggles.

Wanting revenge but being powerless to obtain it, wanting to get someone you love out of danger but unable to because that's what they want, being forced to do a job you hate in order to please your family, or even basic stuff like wanting your cat back.

Each character is moved by their motivations and shaped by their struggles, and they all have cool struggles and motivations.

Denji's main struggle is that he wants to feel alive, wants to feel human, because his childhood and innocence were taken from him so now he is trying to discover again how to enjoy life by seeking basic things like food, company, and intimacy.

You just look at him and go "Aww... I hope he finds happiness in life!", and then get upset at how this happiness is constantly kept from him. And the reason it's kept from him is handled in a very interesting way that makes you wonder how much do people often seek what they think they want instead of seeking what they need and how much are they missing or giving up in the process?

It raises questions but it doesn't handle them in some pretentious way. It feels more like it just wants to talk about it while leaving you room to reach your own conclusions.

I don't know what else to say aside from "It just appeals to me!"

The humor appeals to me, the visuals appeal to me, the characters, the story, the themes, this just feels like one of those series I always wished someone would make, and I'm glad someone did made it without trying to be every other series ever and instead just having enough confidence in trying to be its own thing.

[caprine-hyacinth]

Lots of good intruality fics

Before reading any of these, please check the trigger warnings just in case they aren't safe for you to read ❤

Last updated: August 3rd, 2021

-new additions in bold!

Feel free to suggest some fics, just dm me the link! A lot of these may be oneshots so I apologize in advance! The number of chapters will be under the fic descriptions though. If you believe one fic belongs in a different category let me know! I'll gladly change it :)

Canon fics

This is a section dedicated to fics taking place in the canonical Sanders Sides universe and in which Remus is written as he behaves in canon, so no aus or ooc Remus!

~

"Please stay"

Patton falls for the person that used to scare him the most.

1/1

~

The Things We Say at Four AM

Patton and Remus are just chilling at four am because neither of them can sleep and one of them let's something slip.

1/1

~

Take My Heart Clean Apart

Thomas is pining over someone. He’s heartsick—and Patton’s running a little (okay, a lot) worse for wear over it. Like heck he’ll ever let someone know about it though.

(Someone finds out anyway.)

1/1

~

Acceptable behavior

Remus is surprisingly concerned about his boyfriend's boundaries.

1/1

~

You Stole The Pillows

Remus steals all the pillows. Patton makes the best of the situation.

1/1

~

Line Without a Hook

When Patton's entire world view is challenged--when he doesn't even know who he is supposed to be anymore, help comes from an unexpected source. Maybe things can be okay after all.

1/1

~

Stuck With You

(Side note, I respect the fact that you can find Intruality_Overlord on like every platform I've checked 😭 very much worth checking out Moss's stuff!)

Patton and Remus cuddle and banter.

1/1

~

Sweet Pea

Recently, Patton and Remus's relationship has begun to change. When Patton lets a pet name slip by accident, a much-needed conversation takes place.

1/1

~

Strawberry band-aids

Remus accidentally hurts himself and Patton takes care of him.

1/1

-

Kiss Goodbye

Patton didn't understand why you would ever kiss someone goodbye, especially if they had just died. Remus tries to explain it to him.

Aka Patton and Remus get into an argument during movie night after everyone else went to bed

1/1

(Caprine's side note: it's not as angsty as the title sounds, I swear)

-

Bone Crusher

The first sign that Remus liked him was an actual bright blue octopus sitting in a fishtank in his room when he got back to it one day there was a light green sticky note on the front of the tank that read, in jagged, messy handwriting, “This is Bone Crusher, Lord of Darkness, Destroyer of Worlds, but she is okay with you changing her name -R”

1/1

-

Cookie Jar

Original idea came from @jessibbb on tumblr, they're very nice, check them out for a lot of amazing intruality content! Patton is too short to reach the cookie jar, Remus finds his short boyfriend adorable.

1/1

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I Love You, It's Disgusting.

Uh-oh. Remus has fallen in love with Patton. How disgusting. He wouldn't have it any other way.

1/1

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For you, I’ll try

"But wait, maybe he could do just that. Desperately searching for a pen in the drawer where he kept all of his bones, Remus simply allowed for the ideas to flood him, his butt dropping on the nearest chair shaped thing. It was grossly domestic, but there was nothing he couldn’t do, especially when the challenge in question was something Roman enjoyed. Remus could barely hold back his excitement, his smirk wide enough that the ends of his mustache tickled his cheeks.

He was going to create such a cute, lovely story Patton would never want to read any of Roman’s shit ever again."

1/1

[Caprine’s side note] Oh. My. GOD. TALK ABOUT SWEET. I AM LITERALLY IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY. JUST LOOK AT IT.

-

AU fics

This is a section dedicated to fics that take place in any kind of au, whether that be a human au or a soulmate au of some kind!

~

Cool Josh

(because I'm a sucker for fake boyfriend fics 😔)

Patton has had a big crush on his best friend Remus for the longest time, but he's not planning to make a move anytime soon. At least he wasn't.

But when Remus needs him to pretend to be his boyfriend, what's a pining gay to do but pretend to be the boyfriend Remus told his dads he had?

1/1

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The Heat Between Us

Patton doesn’t like to be touched. But maybe he’d be ok if it was Remus touching him.

1/1

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Freak like me

1/1

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Do You Wanna Build a Pillow Fort

“When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!” with intruality

1/1

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The Long Way Round

Remus doesn't like watching romantic movies, but one of the ones his brother was watching gave him an idea.

1/1

[Caprine’s side note] Fake dating with a twist? I love it. Also the line “You mean the fluffy-haired child development major, who has thighs so thick you would willingly die under them? I might remember you mentioning him once or twice.”

-

Poly fics

This is a section dedicated to fics that involve poly ships!

~

Is it Selfish to Love and Be Loved?

Patton needed advice.

And not the kind of advice that he could find in books or online, no, because there was no way that anyone in all of history had ever been in the situation that Patton was in, right now, it was wholly and utterly unique, which meant that if he wanted advice, he was going to have to get it from another side.

1/1

~

And They Were Roommates

Patton's not in love with Remus. That's ridiculous, they're just roommates. Not to mention, Remus already has a boyfriend.

1/1

[Caprine’s side note] OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES

Peachsneakers oneshots

This is a section dedicated to Peachsneakers! Their intruality oneshots are some of my absolute favorites so I've provided the links to each one of them :)

All of these have 1 chapter, but they're still absolutely worth the read!

~

Cookie Misadventures

Patton and Remus bake some cookies.

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Apple Blossom

Remus needs his hair washed. Patton is up for the job.

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Black Holes

Remus takes Patton to the imagination.

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To Love Like You

Remus finds out a secret.

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Kittens

Remus gets creative.

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Silent Flavored Popsicles

Remus has a sore throat.

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Cookies for the Soul

Remus has bad days. Patton relates.

~

Milkshakes

Remus brings Patton a surprise.

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Made with Love

Remus has a question.

~~~

AU section

~~~

Body Swap

Patton can't wait to meet his soulmate. Remus is convinced he doesn't even have one.

Waking up in Patton's body changes that.

~

You Are My Sunshine

Patton falls for his soulmate on the way to class.

~

Unfinished fics

Just fics that are good but not yet finished! They'll be added to whatever section of the list they belong in once they're finished ❤

-this section may take time to update due to the fact that I put off reading a lot of unfinished fics 😔 I swear I’ll edit this eventually it just hurts reading anything that isn’t done

~

The Effects Of Shame

Remus... has a crush. Just a small little thing, so inconsequential, well, you probably can't even call it that! ...right?

Wrong. Very wrong. He's in absolutely in-over-his-head pining for Patton, and he knows that people like him don't get happy endings.

...Right?

45/?

[Caprine’s side note] Guys this fic is LITERALLY EVERYTHING. I don’t care what you’re doing right now, stop it and read this immediately. It’s packed with angst but it has a lot of really nice fluffy moments too and I just adore everything about it, idk man just read it please I can’t even put into words how amazing it is.

~

Silicon Hearts

Patton is sick of the others treating him like an innocent uwu boy and goes to Remus for help. They try fake dating as a way to convince them that Patton is mature and an adult like everyone else. Only one problem though; Patton seemed to take a liking to his fake boyfriend. Too much of a liking.

2/?

~

[Caprine’s side note] Chapter 2 is out!! This fic is so well written 😭 I have no words, the way Remus is written is so good, I mean all of them yes but god I love their writing for Remus

[rhysismydaddy]

Naughty Neighbors pt. 2 (Elriel)

As promised, it’s in Azriel’s POV which was actually super hard for me to write for some reason. Don’t ask why it’s in first person when Elain’s isn’t. Just go with it I’m so tired.

I LOVED reading the comments on the last post they brought the biggest smile to my face so thank you all so much for the love!

Part 3

______________________________________________________________

~Azriel~

At first, I’d thought it was just attraction.

I mean, it was inevitable. She'd shown up in the middle of the night, dressed in a thin, rose-colored robe that did absolutely nothing to hide the curves underneath, smiling at me like I don’t deserve to be smiled at.

It was obvious I’d be attracted to her.

But it was also different. 

Because usually, when I’m attracted to a woman, I go after her and get her out of my system the old fashioned way. But with Elain Archeron... it’s somehow more than that. 

Don’t get confused, I’d be more than happy to have her under me. Or on top of me. Or trapped between me and a wall. 

But I also crave her smile, her laugh. Her blush. 

Fuck, I love that blush. 

The woman turns red at any sort of innuendo, like she’s never been flirted with before. At least not properly. 

I’m damn near addicted to it. 

Which might explain why I’ve developed a routine in the week after moving into my apartment. I get up and get ready, walk with her to work, fight the temptation to go across the street and kiss her stupid, then walk with her home. 

It’s only a total of ten minutes together a day, but it's enough to drive me fucking crazy. 

Crazy enough to do it over and over again, just like I am right now. 

I knock on the door to her shop, keeping my unspoken vow to never go in the flower-infested place. 

“Hey,” she says with a grin as she comes down to meet me, locking the glass door behind her. “How was work?”

“Well, a three-hundred pound man got a tattoo of a raccoon on his back. Shit took three hours and was bigger than in real life.” She giggles, and my lips twitch at the sight. “You?”

“I sold a lot of bouquets, since it’s wedding season. Nothing special.”

We start the short walk back to our apartment complex, walking close enough that our arms occasionally brush. The feel of her soft skin on mine has me gritting my teeth, and we’re still four minutes out. Fuck.

Elain shivers slightly, and since it isn’t cold, I take it to mean I’m not the only one affected. I could be a gentleman and let the reaction go, but... 

“Are you cold?”

Soft brown eyes meet mine, and there’s a bit of surprise in them. “No.”

“You sure? You shivered.” 

Those eyes narrow slightly, well on to the game I’m playing. “I’m sure.”

I can’t stop the smirk from forming on my face, but she just sighs and turns straight forward again. 

“Any plans for the weekend?”

I’m practically baiting her into saying she’s doing something with her boyfriend, even though I doubt that’ll be the case. I haven’t so much as seen the guy around the entire week. 

If I were him-

No. We’re not going there. 

“Not really, actually. I might go to the MOMA.”

It’s easy to picture her in a museum, staring adoringly at overpriced pieces of art a child could probably recreate. “Art fan?”

“Not really. My sister has an exhibit this week and wants me to come. I like her art, but she’s the exception.”

For some reason, this makes me smile. “Nothing’s good enough to impress you?”

Her eyes narrow in the cute way they always do when I tease her, and she says, “Nothing makes me feel anything. Art should make you feel something. Right?”

Is she seriously asking me that? “I don’t know. I’ve never been to a museum.”

Elain stops walking suddenly, and I turn to face her with raised brows. “Ever? You’ve never been to a museum?”

I shake my head, confused as to why she’s confused. Is that not normal?

“What about on school trips?”

Oh. 

That explains it. 

I turn and keep walking, knowing she’ll catch up in a second. When she does, I say, “Maybe my school was low on field trip funds or something.”

The lie tastes like dirt in my mouth, so I light a cigarette to wash it down. 

She rolls her eyes like she knows I’m full of shit and keeps walking. 

“You look beautiful today, Elain.” 

Her cheeks go pink at the words, and the urge to punch her boyfriend grows. If a woman blushes every single time someone calls her beautiful, she probably doesn’t hear it enough. 

And I know I tell her everyday, but it’s especially true today. She’s in one of her probably hundred dresses, and it’s tighter around the waist and loose around the bottom. 

I think it was designed just for her.

Or maybe just to drive me insane. Either theory works. 

Her hair’s down, framing the soft features I’m disgustingly obsessed with, and there’s a pink tone to her full lips. She looks like a goddamn flower. 

I hate flowers, I remind myself helplessly. 

We keep walking, and I’m so focused on thinking about anything except the way that pretty little dress swishes around her thighs that I don’t even realize we’re back at the complex. 

I open the door for her, and she goes inside but waits before heading up the stairs. 

“What are you doing?”

Her cheeks go a bit more red, even as her eyes narrow. “I’m wearing a dress. You go up first.”

“Elain Archeron,” I scold instantly, mood brightening already, “I can’t believe you’d accuse me of trying to look up your dress.” 

I probably would’ve, but that’s another point entirely. 

She bites her lip, and my blood starts to thrum. “I didn’t say that, actually.”

“Oh, I see. You just want to look at my ass, then.”

A laugh bubbles out of her, and I take mercy and head up the stairs, pausing once every now and then to shake my butt in her face. 

“You’re a child,” she laughs, pushing my back to make me go forward again. 

I’m laughing, too by the time we make it to the hallway with our apartments. But the joy falls away as we stand outside, both nervously silent. It feels like the end of a date, for some reason. 

Maybe because we were laughing and smiling and flirting. Maybe. 

“What’s your name?” she asks, exactly like she always does. 

Fucking unable to help it, I lean in close enough our noses brush, smiling when she sucks in a breath. “You ready to pay the price?”

Every day it’s the same response. She usually shies away, rolls her eyes, and drops it, but today she surprises me. “What’s the price, exactly?”

Her voice is a little scratchy, and her legs are tense, like she’s pressing them together. For a moment, I can’t even breathe, let alone tell her. She looks so adorably naive and beautiful right now. It’s hard to focus on anything except the heaving of her chest, the lip tucked between her teeth. 

Bu it’s the raw desire in her eyes that makes me finally respond. “I want you to give in. I want you to kiss me like I know you’re dying to. I want you to admit that it’s me that turns you on, me who you think about at night.”

Her breathing’s rougher now, and it ignites a fire in my blood. “I want you to tell me you want me, Elain. Because we both know you do.”

“I...”

Fucking hell, she’s going to kill me. I’m desperate to hear the words, so when I speak, it sounds like a plea. “Say it.”

But something comes over her, and the cloudiness sweeps from her eyes instantly. She takes a deep breath and places a palm against my chest to shove me away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have a boyfriend.”

Her favorite thing to say, apparently. 

“I love him,” Elain says with strong, fake conviction. “I... I don’t want you.”

A harsh laugh forces itself out of my throat. “Beautiful little liar.”

Her cheeks go pink, and I smile in spite of the tense conversation. “I’m not lying.”

“Yes, you are, but that’s okay. I get it.” Before I can stop myself, I’m moving to tuck a strand of loose hair behind her ear. “But I’m not telling you my name until you stop.”

Before she can respond, the door behind her swings open, revealing a man instantly recognizable as the boyfriend. He’s in a disgustingly cheap suit, about 5′11 with red hair and golden brown eyes with his hair pulled back in a low bun.

I automatically want to punch him for some reason, but I deny myself the satisfaction. 

“What’s going on?” he asks, glancing between me and Elain. There’s something in his voice, but it’s not suspicion. It’s surprise. Like he can’t even fathom the idea of seeing her with another man. 

Fucking idiot. 

A woman like her is always going to get male--and probably female--attention. 

“Nothing,” Elain says instantly, taking a step towards him. “This is our neighbor. He moved in Monday.”

“Oh. Hey, man. I’m Lucien.”

I ignore his outstretched hand. “The boyfriend?”

A bit of the friendliness leaves his eyes, and he pulls Elain to him and wraps an arm around her shoulders. “The boyfriend.”

“How exciting,” I mock, sounding like a total prick. I don’t really mean to, but I can’t help it. I mean, this is the guy she’s with? Objectively, I’m man enough to admit he isn’t exactly ugly, but he sounds about as interesting as a can of beans. 

He probably works a desk job. Something in finance. 

And he has Elain? 

It makes no sense. 

Lucien The Boyfriend ignores that statement and looks down at Elain. “I missed you this week,” he mutters before pressing a quick, grossly wet kiss to her lips. 

The surprise in her eyes makes it clear he’s not usually so... affectionate. 

I have to cough to hide a laugh. 

He’s trying to mark his territory, but if he actually looked at his girlfriend’s face, he could easily see how stupid it looked. 

“Have a nice night, lovebirds,” I say sarcastically as I unlock my door, still chuckling to myself. If he kisses her like that, gods know how he fucks her. 

Poor woman. 

~Elain~

Well, that was uncomfortable. 

And embarrassing. 

The little laugh her neighbor had barely attempted to hide made her skin burn. Lucien wasn’t a bad kisser, but neither of them had really been ready for his sudden display of affection. 

Plus, it’s not like the man had tried to hide his reason for kissing her. They hardly ever touched in public. 

Or at home, really. 

It’d been three weeks since they’d slept together, so she knew the kiss was for their audience’s benefit. 

She ignored the gross feeling inside her gut and went to the kitchen to start dinner. 

“That guy’s rude,” Lucien commented, sliding on a bar stool and loosening his tie. “And he looks like a drug dealer.”

The urge to roll her eyes was almost overpowering. He thinks anyone with tattoos is a drug dealer. “He’s nice.”

“So you’ve met before?”

Elain sighed, not knowing how to answer this. “Sort of. He works at the tattoo place across the street, so I bump into him some. I don’t even know his name, though.”

Why was she lying? 

I bump into him? 

Seriously? 

She’d walked with him every day this week. And thought about him all the time. 

Not to mention tonight, when she’d been a second away from finally finding out what his mouth felt like against hers, what it tasted like. 

Gods, just the thought of that encounter made her sweat. 

He knew exactly what he was doing to her. 

And her mind knew, knew, he was dangerous and might very well be involved in all sorts of illegal activities, but her body didn’t give a single shit. 

She wanted him like she’d never wanted anyone before. 

But that was just attraction. What she had with Lucien, that was love. A lifelong, everlasting love. Right?

She slid the plate of reheated chicken and rice in front of her boyfriend and muttered, “I’m going to shower.”

He nodded, not even looking up. 

Two hours later, they were watching a movie in bed, neither of them paying much attention to the screen. There had been a tension between them ever since the weird kissing incident. 

She wasn’t mad, but it had just made her feel a little strange. 

He seemed to notice it, too.

“I love you,” Lucien whispered quietly, rolling on his side to look down at her. “I know things have been weird recently, and I’m sorry. I’m just stressed at work, but I don’t need to bring that home with me. I just... I love you. You know that right?”

She nodded immediately. “I know. It’s okay. I love you, too.”

A small smile on his face, he leaned down to her and kissed her. There was no awkwardness now, thank the gods. 

She thought he’d pull away like usual, but he tilted his head and took it deeper, sliding his tongue in her mouth.

Surprised, she kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Something in the back of her mind was hatefully muttering that he was only doing this because of their neighbor, but her body didn’t really mind. It had been weeks, and just being touched made her happy.

Supporting himself on his elbows, he came over her, resting in between her thighs. A hand snuck down and tugged her robe open, then she heard his belt buckle open.

Normally she’d want to take things slower and draw it out, but she didn’t mind tonight. Her body needed him and whatever contact it could get.

A few moments of shuffling, then he pressed against her, and she gasped as he immediately started to move. Okay, maybe a little more drawing it out would have been helpful. 

Her hips moved with him, trying to keep up with his increasing pace. Lucien grunted in her ear, breath hot on her neck. 

It was too much too soon, and he seemed to sense that. His hand came to her breasts, and she moaned softly as he molded one to his touch.

The sound seem to affect him, and he stilled above her, then kissed her deeply.

Elain laid underneath him, heart racing, and tried not to raise an eyebrow. Or laugh. Or cry. 

That was it? The first time they had sex in almost a month, and that was it?

He pulled out slowly, kissed her brow, and rolled over. Her mouth dropped open.

He wasn’t even going to make sure she finished? Because she sure as hell hadn’t. And more than that, he rolled away from her?

They didn’t always have great sex, but it was usually better than that. And he always held her afterward until she fell asleep.

She felt cheap. Used.

Definitely unsatisfied.

Now more than ever, it felt like they were fifty years old. She made him dinners and kept the apartment clean, he worked a desk job at an investment bank, they came home, barely talked, then had unremarkable sex.

She’d known for a while they were in a slump, but now it seemed like it was a permanent thing. 

After waiting until he started snoring soundly, she slipped a hand between her legs, trying to relieve some of the tension.

Gods, that had been awful.

Maybe it was her fault. Maybe it was because she was so worked up from...

Her neighbor’s smirking face popped into her mind. The ache between her legs got worse, and she moaned as she slipped a finger inside herself.

Sitting up suddenly, she pushed his face out of her head. This was wrong.

She couldn’t... fantasize about another man while in the same bed as her boyfriend.

Elain threw her robe on the ground and walked to the shower, ignoring the fact that she’d already taken one tonight. She’d wash this night away and forget about it.

But he appeared in her mind again, shaking his head with a smile. That’s not possible, beautiful.

Hard to forget someone when they were mentally stalking you.

~

The next morning, Lucien was gone before she even dragged herself out of bed. She was technically late, but she didn’t even care. Perk of being her own boss. 

Elain trudged around, getting ready slowly. It had been a long night. Even after her very cold shower, she hadn’t been able to clear her mind and relax. 

When she opened the door, she couldn’t repress her groan. Apparently, his face was stalking him in her head and real life.

“Long night?” he asked, a small, almost victorious smile on his face.

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously at that expression. She knew him well enough to know he was trying not to laugh. “Yes.”

“Same. Noisy neighbors.”

It took a few moments, but a furious blush exploded on her face as she realized what he was talking about. She knew the walls were thin, but... “Oh, my gods.”

He’d heard!

Oh, gods.

This was really, really bad. 

“Have fun?”

She glared at his annoyingly handsome face, barely resisting the urge to punch that smile away. “Yes. So much fun.”

She was, in fact, a dirty little liar. 

“Mmhm, sounded like it. All three minutes of it.”

An indignant sound escaped her, and he started to laugh. She ignored how lovely the sound was and chanted, “Shut up shut up shut up.”

“Not a chance.” He glanced down at her legs. “Hey, do you need help waking there? Or are you too sore from all that terrible se-”

She slapped a hand over his mouth, and he smiled under her fingers.

“You’re such an asshole,” she told him. “I love him. And he’s a great lover.”

The asshole just raised an eyebrow.

“Usually,” she amended. “He was tired.”

Gently, he pried her hand off his face. “I could be in a coma and do better than three minutes.”

“Pretty sure that’s illegal. And beyond disturbing.”

He smiled. “We going to work?”

Elain glared. “Only if you promise not to make any more comments about my sex life.”

“I haven’t made a single one!” He protested, still smirking. “I’ve been joking about the lack of your sex life, baby girl. Keep up.”

“Oh my gods,” she growled, pushing past him and yanking her door shut.

“At first, I didn’t even know what you guys were doing,” he told her, walking easily beside her as she stormed down the stairs and started down the empty sidewalk. “I heard his weird ass grunt and thought he was working out or something.”

She rolled her eyes.

“But then I heard you moan, and I-”

“I swear I’m going to kill you.”

“Anyway, I heard the boyfriend start snoring, so I figured the debacle was over. But I heard you again.” He smirked down at her. “Wanna tell me what you were doing over there?”

From the look on his face, he knew damn well what she was doing. “You-”

“No, I know you weren’t doing me. Would’ve been a lot louder if you were.”

Her glare could’ve frozen the Sahara. “I was going to say that you are the most annoying person I’ve ever met.”

The man just smiled, more than happy with himself today. Gods, he was insufferable. “I might be annoying, but at least I last longer than your little boyfriend.”

The way he said that made her jaw clench. What was it with the men in her life being completely useless today? It pissed her off. “Oh, I seriously doubt it.”

A dark, almost promising look crept into his hazel eyes, and he leaned down to murmur, “I promise you one thing, Elain. If I had you under me, I wouldn’t stop until you were screaming my name. Maybe not even then.”

She didn’t bother pointing out she didn’t even know his name.

Then he pulled away and smiled, and she noticed they were in front of her store. “Have a nice day, gorgeous.”

She was so fucked. 

_____________________________________________________________

To all my Lucien stands, I don’t really believe he’s complete shit in the sack (yes, yes I do), but I’m trying to write a story here, okay?

Part 3

@astreia-oniria @whimsyrhys @lameomclameo @wineywitch202 @thedarkdemigod @captainthefangirlofhp @elriel4life @queen-of-glass @courtofjurdan @nessiantho @texas-shaped-waffle-maker @stardelia @myshadowsingeraz @tswaney17 @illyriangarbage @nicerhero @fancycrowncat @perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @girl-who-reads-the-books @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @superspiritfestival @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @bamchickawowow @a-bit-of-a-cactus @aesthetics-11 @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @savemesoon8 @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace @poisonous00

[nikibogwater]

Bogwater’s Guide to Writing Platonic Relationships

Have a seat, dears, pour yourself a mug of cocoa, and let’s talk about writing for a bit. Specifically, writing emotionally intense, compelling relationships that are completely devoid of any romantic tension.

“Niki, those don’t exist! The only relationships that are truly intense and compelling are the romantic ones! Everybody knows that!”

*gently bonks you on the head with my magic scepter* NO. This is a common misconception that is perpetuated by media and especially fandom culture. And it stems from this bizarre idea that emotional intimacy must always equate with romantic intimacy. I have no idea where this idea got its start, but if you ask literally anybody who has experienced real, genuine friendship in their life, they will tell you it’s absolute nonsense. Just because you’re not doing the kissy-kiss with someone, that doesn’t mean you’re not emotionally intimate with them.

“But I don’t want any emotional intimacy without the kissy-kiss! It’s boring!” 

Yeah, so, there’s a reason platonic relationships in modern media often feel less interesting than romantic ones, and it’s precisely because of what I said above. Media producers and many fic authors are skittish about showing platonic love with the same level of depth and emotional intensity as romantic, so it often ends up being somewhat watered down and simplified, to the point that it becomes a less interesting relationship. The only thing this does is perpetuate the idea that any and all emotional intimacy immediately implies romantic attraction (it does not) while also devaluing the very real importance of genuine friendship/familial bonds. 

“Okay, but what if I just like romance better?”

That’s your personal preference, and that’s okay! Everybody has their favorite genres and tropes that resonate with them more than others. My personal favorite is Family, Found or otherwise (with a healthy dose of Hurt/Comfort on the side), but I can totally understand if romance speaks to you more. HOWEVER. This does not excuse writers and other content producers from low-key asserting that romantic relationships are objectively “better” than platonic ones. Hard fact of life: Nobody needs to experience romance, and even those who do experience it do so in different ways. But everybody does need to have emotional connections with other people through the bonds of friendship and family. Believe it or not, romantic love is not a universal experience. Platonic though? Everybody knows that one, and everybody needs it to be happy. To devalue it as a whole is to impose a toxic mindset that forces people to experience relationships in a very narrow and restrictive way.

Okay--*steps off my soap box and kicks it to the side*--now that we’ve established that friendship is important and should be given the same value that society gives to romance, let’s talk about a few ways to write intense and compelling platonic relationships!

Emotional Intimacy:

I’ve talked about this a lot already, but just in case some of you are confused, emotional intimacy is just when two people have a very deep familiarity and understanding of each other. They understand how the other’s mind works, and feel comfortable opening up to each other about their own stuff. Obviously, this is very important for any relationship, platonic or romantic, but writers will often limit such familiarity between characters to the romantic relationships. The first step to writing an interesting friendship is to not do that. Show that your platonic soulmates understand each other and are vulnerable with each other. Here are some easy ways to do that:

Character A knows all of Character B’s personal preferences--likes and dislikes, including small things like food, flowers, music, etc. 

A can finish B’s sentences for them. 

A is willing to talk about their feelings when B asks if they’re okay.

A and B trust each other and know the other always has their back

A and B will occasionally reference events in their shared history and even have inside jokes

A will seek B out for comfort when they are upset.

A and B almost never miscommunicate--they know what the other means when they say something, and will immediately notice if the other is acting strange.

A and B can communicate with each other silently, via subtle looks, eye movements, or gestures.

Selflessness:

To quote a grossly over-marketed Disney franchise, “Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours.” This is the simplest and also most accurate definition of love I’ve come across, and it is universal to all kinds of relationships. So in order to make your platonic relationship compelling, you need to show that the characters are willing to make sacrifices for each other--even big ones. Make sure this is a mutual exchange between both characters, because otherwise you risk making the relationship look a bit toxic. Here are a few of my favorite examples of selflessness between friends/family:

Character A willingly puts themselves in harm’s way in order to protect Character B.

A is always ready to drop what they’re doing and come to B’s assistance. 

A and B regularly do small favors for each other without being asked. 

A is always mindful of B’s needs and makes sure they’re taken care of.

A and B always do their best not to hurt each other, either physically or emotionally. 

A is openly very worried whenever B is in danger and stops at nothing to help them.

Affection:

This is the part where most writers balk when writing platonic relationships. “They can’t touch each other!!! That’s sexy and weird!!!” No, it’s not. This idea that any and all signs of affection are exclusive to romantic relationships is toxic, and we need to wipe it from existence. Obviously there are different levels of physical intimacy, and some absolutely are exclusive to romantic relationships. Here’s a list of No-Gos if you want to keep a relationship completely platonic:

Kissing on the lips/mouth/neck.

Gazing deeply and silently into each other’s eyes for long periods of time for no other reason than to simply Gaze.

Doing the Do or otherwise touching each other in an explicitly sexual way (I feel like this one should be pretty obvious. Also wth guys, that stuff is grooooosssssssss 🤢)

Honestly those are the only ones that I can think of that are always exclusively romantic. Everything else requires pre-established context in order to be taken as such. So here’s a list of affectionate gestures that are totally safe for established platonic relationships!

Little forehead/cheek kisses.

Hugs--yes, even prolonged ones. Sometimes friends/family just want to hold each other for a while, and not in a sexy way. 

Holding hands.

Leaning on each other.

Playing with each other’s hair or gently petting it in order to offer comfort.

Sleeping next to each other when circumstances require it (and neither of them makes any fuss over it)

Saying “I love you.” STOP MAKING THIS AN EXCLUSIVELY ROMANTIC THING, PLEASE, FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THAT IS PURE IN THIS WORLD!

Touching foreheads (my personal favorite of the lot!)

Maintaining prolonged eye-contact during moments of sincerity and communication, especially if Character A is trying to tell B something important.

Sweet little smiles, or other such soft looks of fondness

And many other gestures that I don’t have time to go over in this list.

Tip the First: When writing platonic affection, be sure to bear in mind your characters’ personalities and physical differences. For example, if Character A is significantly bigger and heavier than Character B, they probably wouldn’t be tackle-hugging B, because that would risk seriously injuring B. Different personalities also have different levels of comfort when it comes to physical affection. If you’re writing fanfic, it helps to revisit the source material and observe how the two characters interact with each other. And remember: just because two characters aren’t physically affectionate with each other, it does NOT mean they don’t have a deep and meaningful friendship. Also bear in mind that many people have different dynamics with different friends simply due to the way their personalities fit together. Not all of my friendships look the same, and it’s not because of insincerity on my part--I just have different interactions with different people.

Tip the Second: If you want the gestures of affection to really pack a punch, use them sparingly. Save your long, warm embraces for when the two characters finally reunite after a long separation. Have Character A take B’s hand only when they can sense that B is frightened and in need of reassurance. A “First Platonic Hug” scene can be just as sweet and feelsy as a “First Kiss” scene if you do it right! Also, don’t be afraid to talk at length about how a gesture of affection makes a character feel. Describe the warm fuzzies that bubble up in their chest when their friend/family member gives them a hug, wax poetic about how grateful they are to have said friend/family member in their life. Taking time to explore and dwell on a certain feeling should never be strictly reserved for the ones associated with romance. 

And when in doubt:

Observe the professionals. Here are some fantastic platonic relationships from various pieces of media that I take tons of inspiration from:

Frodo and Sam from Lord of the Rings (especially in the books)

Jim and Toby from Dreamworks’ Tales of Arcadia series

Din and Cara from Star Wars: The Mandalorian

Lilo and Nani from Disney’s Lilo and Stitch

So in conclusion:

Listen, I get it. Romance is exciting and cute and sexy and very important in its own right, and society likes to beat us over the head with it these days. But I cannot impress on you enough just how vital platonic relationships are to living a good and fulfilling life. I am who I am today because of the family and friends who have helped me grow. Please don’t disregard it, whether in your writing or in your own life. Cherish friendship. Acknowledge the depth of your platonic feelings for someone. And writers, please don’t be afraid to express those feelings in your work. If we let friendship and family die, I can assure you, any potential for healthy romantic relationships will quickly follow suit. 

[sprnklersplashes]

power of three

canon divergence where cady is not a plastic, and goes to janis’ art show instead (ao3)

It’s a strange feeling, all these eyes on her. 

The room is packed, people swirling around in all directions, conversations fading in and out of earshot. There’s a glass in her hand (lemonade, of course) and people she vaguely recognises coming up to shake her free one, congratulating her on getting this far. She blushes slightly, thanks them and takes a sip of her drink to keep herself from passing out. Rinse and repeat, over and over, for what feels like an hour, but when Damian grabs her by the elbow and pulls her out, it turns out it had been five minutes.

It’s not bad, all this attention, not when it’s praise rather than damnation. When people come up to her with admiration in their eyes, rather than scorn. She’s just not very used to it.

“Thank you,” she breathes into Damian’s ear. He chuckles and loops his arm so that her hand rests on it, like they’re a married couple at some gala far more pretentious than this. She chuckles, and what’s more she can lean on him now. Keeping herself upright is suddenly far less of a challenge.

“Well, it looked like you were either going to explode if one more person came up to you,” he explains as they weave in and out of the crowd. “And funny as that would be, I think you’d need to be in tact when they give you your prize.”

“Oh shush you,” she replies, hoping her feigned nonchalance covers the prickling insecurity in her gut. Maybe it would, if it was someone other than Damian. “Besides, I don’t need to win. Getting to the finals is more than enough for me.” The words feel false on her tongue, and even more so when Damian raises his eyebrow, a silent signal meaning you’re talking bullshit and you know it. She stands her ground for a total of three seconds before she sighs and looks into her half-finished glass. “I don’t want to get my hopes up, is all.”

“Well too bad,” Damian replies. “Because my hopes are all riled up.” He nudges her with his shoulder, and she manages a smile then. “I mean it. They’d be crazy not to pick you. If they do, I’m filing a lawsuit.”

“You do that.” She turns and takes in her surroundings, mainly the other paintings on the walls, and the confidence Damian instilled in her dips a little. When her art teacher told her to fill out the application, she did so mainly to please her. She’s never really been interested in putting her art up to be judged. For her, that would be like ripping a page out of her diary and publishing it in the school newsletter. But she did it anyway, not expecting to get past the application stage. But she did, evidently, and then she got past the second round and the third, each time feeling like there must have been some mistake. Because now she’s looking at the other works on the walls, mostly made by real artists who go to real art schools, and she’s not sure how she’s meant to compare here.  

“You seen Cady yet?” she asks, ripping her gaze away from the other paintings. Damian shakes his head and checks his watch before the two of them scan the room, searching for caramel coloured curls or a funky-coloured flannel. “She has the right address, right?”

“Yeah,” he replies. Janis nods and takes a deep breath, forcing herself to remain calm. There could be a hundred reasons as to why Cady hasn’t showed up yet, right? After all, it’s a new city and she still doesn’t know it very well, or maybe she’s running late, maybe her tutoring Aaron went on longer than expected. Maybe she couldn’t get out of the thing with her parents after all. She did text ‘sorry, running late, be there as soon as I can’ about ten minutes ago, so that means she’s coming, right?

“Hey,” Damian’s voice whispers in her ear, his hand on her back as if she’s about to fall. “Don’t worry about it. She’ll be here. And if she isn’t, I’ll shove her into a locker myself, K?”

She nods, even though it’s shakier than it ought to be, and turns, her mouth open to reassure both him and herself, but something catches her eye. Something, or rather someone, coming through the door, with all the grace and care of a small hurricane. Someone smaller than her with wide eyes and caramel coloured curls and… a blue flannel.

She can breathe again.

“Caddy!” She waves her over, mindful of the drink in her hand and Damian beside her, and her friend hurries over to her, forgoing a handshake in favour of wrapping her in a brief but tight hug. “You made it.”

“I did,” they sigh. “Sorry, I’m late, I grossly misjudged how far away this place was and it was my first time taking the bus on my own.”

“It’s okay,” she replies. “I mean really, it’s fine.”

“Public transportation is a nightmare in this city,” Damian chimes in. “Glad you made it, little slice.” Cady squeals and hugs him too, stretching up on their toes and wrapping their arms around his shoulders. Damian grins, his joy so bright it’s hard to believe he was plotting their hypothetical revenge on Cady not seconds earlier.

She knows he’d have never gone through with it.

“Let’s go get you a drink,” Damian says. “Unfortunately, we can’t go up to the bar unless you managed to sneak in a fake ID.”

“I didn’t, sorry,” Cady laughs.

“Don’t worry about it,” Janis says as she hands her a lemonade. “Alcohol is far overrated anyway. We wanted to wait for you before we got food too.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that.”

“We know, we’re just awesome people,” Janis says as she and Damian lead Cady to the food table. It’s all little snacks mainly-tiny hot dogs, mini quiches, little finger sandwiches, and Cady is amazed by them. 

“They’re so cute!” they exclaim as they load another sandwich onto their already-sagging paper plate. “It’s like little doll food!” Janis and Damian’s eyes simultaneously grow wider as they watch; this tiny girl who can apparently wolf down more than they can combined. Cady just smiles, brighter than any lamp in the room, and Janis feels compelled to smile back.

Cady’s funny like that. 

“Okay, come on, kiddos,” Damian says, grabbing Cady by the hand and nodding for Janis to follow. The twinkle in his eye tells her everything she needs to know about what he plans and her cheeks grow warmer as she follows them. “We want to get a good seat for this.”

She ducks her head, her hair falling infront of her face like a curtain, but behind is one of the warmest smiles she’s ever known.

“I feel kind of underdressed,” Cady remarks, their eyes scanning the crowds. They pull on their shirt, the gesture seemingly subconscious. “I didn’t know how fancy this was going to be. Maybe I should have dressed up a little.”

“Oh you’re fine.” Janis waves her hand dismissively. “It’s not that fancy.” She feels a little hypocritical here, after all, she was the one who went out and bought herself a new jacket especially for this event, but she stands by what she said. Cady looks fine. “You clearly have your formal flannel on anyway.”

Cady bursts out laughing at that, earning a confused look from some passers-by. That only makes the two of them laugh harder, their snickers hidden behind their hands. It stings for a moment, because that gesture is so closely associated with Regina in Janis’ mind, but it’s brushed aside as Cady links their arms together. Janis breathes out. Regina isn’t even here, and she has no place in her friendships. Not anymore.

“Thanks so much for inviting me, Janis,” Cady says. 

“Hey, no problem, Caddy,” she says. “You’re one of us now. Which means you get dragged to my art shows and Damian’s drama club performances.” Cady giggles at that. “And then to make it fair, you get to drag us to your Mathlete contests and everyone wins.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Cady says. 

Something blossoms in Janis’ chest, something new and exciting. For so long it had just been her and Damian and she was fine with it. More than fine. But when she said what she said to Cady, you’re one of us now… she was saying that there was an us to be a part of. That they aren’t loners anymore. That… that she isn’t. That she can let people in now. 

She wonders how that little 12 year old girl would react if she told her.

“Are you okay?” Cady asks. Janis blinks, her breath coming out in a quick gasp, and she takes a drink to cool her warm cheeks. Cady stands beside her, not overly concerned, but not oblivious either. They squeeze Janis’ hand, their eyes gentle and kind, and Janis tries not to get emotional. Again.

“Fine,” she tells them. “Just nervous.” It’s not entirely a lie. Her eyes meet Damian’s over Cady’s head and he sees right through her, because of course he does. She doesn’t mind though, not one little bit. Because she knows he’s thinking the same thing.

Strange, she thinks, how quickly this little jungle freak infiltrated their tight-knit friendship. She smiles and lets Cady rest their head on her shoulder. Strange, and she loves it.

                                                                          ******

It’s way past dark when Damian’s scooter pulls up outside Janis’ house. Her hair is tangled from the ride home, her back aching a little after having spent the better part of 30 minutes leaning over Damian, but she’s far too happy to care. In fact, it’s one of those rare instances where she can’t find it in herself to care about anything; school, her friends, her future, or the weather. All that matters is her and Damian, and the jokes they’re sharing, and the painting sitting in the jazzy’s front basket. That’s her world right now, and it’s all she needs.

She’s still laughing as she jumps off the jazzy, the cheeks-hurt-can’t-breathe kind of laughter, and Damian follows, making sure to double check all the breaks before he hops off. She goes to lift her painting but he holds one hand in front of her face and grabs it with the other, tucking it beneath his arm instead. She rolls her eyes, but it’s for show. There’s a proud smile on his face, the twinkle in his eyes evident even in the dark, and he stops to grab her hand before they head inside.

“Have I told you how proud I am yet?” he asks her.

“Only a hundred times,” is her reply, and she gives his hand a grateful squeeze.

“Can I say I told you so yet?”

“Only if I can kick you in the shins afterwards,” she says firmly, only for the two to burst out laughing as she turns the key in the lock.

The hallway is far warmer than outside and Janis can’t not sigh in relief when she enters. She takes off her jacket and hangs it up and Damian does the same. Her mom told him back when they were twelve to “make himself at home” and he’s never stopped doing so. They head into the kitchen, following the sound of low chatter and the muted lights. It doesn’t surprise her that her parents beat them home; even if she hadn’t already seen the car parked in the drive, she knows that car beats jazzy every single time.

What does surprise her, however, is the sight of Cady sitting at the kitchen table, sipping tea from her Eyeore mug, and making polite chithcat with her parents. 

They had offered Cady a ride on the jazzy, Janis even demonstrating how they would both fit on safely, but Cady had politely declined, insisting on riding their bike instead. Janis had relented, seeing there was no convincing them re: the scooter, and wrote down detailed instructions on how to get to her place and also telling them to call if they got lost. Even with those precautions, Janis wasn’t convinced Cady would make it, and was expecting her phone to vibrate on the way home.

But no. Here’s Cady. Sitting at her table like they’ve done it before. Like it isn’t the first time.

Their eyes find Janis’ as she walks in, and their face breaks out into a relieved smile. Janis hides a smile of her own, a small tug of sympathy in her chest. Cady is sweet, and she loves her parents, but she’s also sure there’s only so many conversation topics one can have.

“You’re back!” her dad announces, half-turning in his seat. “How was the scooter?”

“It was fun,” she says. “We got yelled at by these college kids.”

“Oh don’t tell me that,” her mom sighs. “Really, Damian, I’m surprised your mom let you ride that thing at night.”

“She said as long as I wear a helmet, everything’s fine.”

“I see. And did you?” her mom asks. Damian stops then, his mouth pressed into a thin line, and that’s enough of an answer. Her mom rolls her eyes, but it’s a fond gesture, and she chuckles warmly under her breath.

“At least Cady wore a helmet,” she says, gesturing across the table. “Maybe they’ll be a good influence on you.”

“Or we’ll corrupt them and turn them dark,” Janis jokes, winking over at them. Cady smiles softly, their cheeks turning pink. “One way to find out.” She heads over and pulls up a chair beside Cady, their elbows bumping on the table. “Sorry we left you hanging here on your own.”

“It’s fine,” they reply. “Got talking with your parents.”

“And I think that’s our cue to leave now,” her mom says. Her dad nods and finishes up his coffee before rising from the table, stretching his arms over his head. “You kids have fun, okay?”

“But not too much fun, I still want this kitchen intact when I get back.”

“No promises, Dad,” Janis grins. Her dad raises a playful eyebrow at her, meanwhile her mom counts on her fingers, ticking off her mental checklist. 

“Okay, so the pizza menu’s in the drawer, money’s on the counter, we’ve got the living room set up and we’re just upstairs if you need anything,” her mom says. 

“Thanks Mom.”

“Thanks Laura,” Damian adds, at the same time Cady says “Thanks Mrs Heron.” They shift slightly, only noticeable to those sitting next to them, and Janis threads her fingers through Cady’s, hopefully letting her know she’s just as welcome here as Damian is. Cady smiles softly in return and runs her thumb over Janis’ knuckles. 

“Alright, have a good night kids,” her dad says. “We’re off to watch boring nature documentaries on Netflix like adults.”

“Maybe you are,” her mom adds, tapping his chest. “I’m finishing my mystery novel.” Janis chuckles, warmth fluttering in her chest. Her parents might be, well, parents, but damn she loves them.

Even more so when her dad pokes his head around the door and says “Janis… I’m so proud of you.” Sure, her cheeks burn in front of her friends, but a grin spreads across her face at the same time. Her parents are the best, and she’ll fight anyone on that. 

Not twenty minutes later they’re sitting in the living room, all clad in their pyjamas, the room lit solely by lamps. Janis made sure to bring down as many extra blankets and pillows as she could, ensuring there could be no spot that wasn’t cosy. Three pizza boxes sit in the middle of the floor, each one a different level of demolished. Damian ordered Hawaiian, partially because he knew it would drive Janis crazy, and poor Cady got pulled into the ongoing ‘pineapple on pizza’ debate, something they had apparently missed out on while chasing lions in Kenya. Lucky they have them, then.

“It’s a fruit, and fruits do not belong on a pizza,” Janis says, standing on her couch for the full effect. “I will have pineapple on a lot of things. In a salad. In a cake. In my conditioner so that I always smell like a tropical paradise. But pizza is not one of those things.Thank you for coming to my TED talk.”

“Counter point,” Damian replies. “Tomato is a fruit, and there is tomato sauce on every pizza in existence.”

“Counter-counter point, tomato is an acceptable fruit for pizza, pineapple isn’t.”

“Coutner-counter-counter point, who are you to decide which fruits are acceptable?”

“Counter-counter-counter-counter point, I’m cute,” she says. 

“Cannot argue with that,” Damian replies, leaning back on the couch. “Caddy, be our tiebreaker please?” Janis pouts, suspecting he’s only relenting so he can eat more pizza instead, but it’s a victory and so she takes it.

“I’m amazed neither one of you have gone out for debate team,” Cady says, who had been watching the argument with their head bopping back and forth. They sit with one of the blankets wrapped around them, their chin resting on their knees. They scrunch their face up slightly, their gaze shifting from Janis to Damian and back again, and a mischievous grin forms on their lips. “But… I am ultimately sold on Janis’ point of view, sorry Damian.”

“I am flabbergasted,” Damian sighs, throwing himself back on the couch. He throws his hand against his forehead, the perfect picture of the fainting Victorian maiden. Suitably dramatic, of course. “Horrified. Betrayed. Ultimately humiliated. My honour has been squandered.”

“You never had honour to begin with,” Janis quips as she jumps off the couch. She settles herself beside Cady, pleasantly surprised when they open up the blanket and drape it around her shoulders. She scoots a little closer until their knees touch, and her smile widens.

“Okay losers, what movie are we making Caddy watch?” Damian asks. “I’ve got Sound of Music, Chicago, Cabaret and if we’re not feeling like a musical tonight, we have Heathers, The Bee Movie, Night at the Museum and Legally Blonde.” He takes out each movie and displays it on the floor, sitting in front of Cady like jewellery in a cabinet, and their eyes grow slowly wider.

“Is the Bee Movie just a movie about bees?” they ask, their nose scrunched up.

“Yes and it’s a masterpiece,” Janis replies. “It explores the depths and complexities of human sexuality, the insidious reality of our capitalist society and what it means to truly love someone.”

Cady nods slowly but skeptically, and their hand passes over the DVD. Janis makes a mental note to work on her Bee Movie pitch. Damian shrugs sympathetically, a silent well, you tried in his eyes.

“What about this one?” Cady asks, holding up Heathers.

“Hell yeah,” is her answer. It’s a personal favourite of Janis’, and yes a little bit of a fantasy, not that she’d ever go as far as Veronica did. She taps Cady’s shoulder and pulls herself up.  “I’ll go get the popcorn ready.”

“Why don’t I give you a hand?” Cady asks, already jumping to their feet. Janis jumps a little, taken aback by her new friend’s enthusiasm.

“Um… okay, sure,” she says. “Damian, can you set up the movie?” 

“On it, kids,” he replies. “Go make me a shitton of popcorn.” Janis leads Cady out of the living room, half holding their hand, and into the kitchen. If Cady feels the same awkwardness she does they do a good job of hiding it, caramel curls bouncing around their shoulders as they almost skip after Janis. 

“Hey can you grab some bowls for me?” she asks as she grabs popcorn out of the cupboards. “There’s some really big ones in the back of this cupboard here.” Cady nods and whisks around her kitchen, quick as the little lions they love so dearly, and emerges with three brightly coloured plastic bowls. Janis grins, especially at the size of them. “Amazing.”

“You know, back in Kenya, my mom would make popcorn for us sometimes, too,” Cady tells her.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. But instead of watching movies at night we’d sit outside and watch the animals roaming around.” Janis turns and catches the wistful look in her new friend’s eye. She almost sees it in her own mind, the kitchen floor transforming into a quiet, moonlit jungle. “But we’d be wrapped up in our blankets and sitting in our chairs and we knew we’d be safe. They weren’t pets but were our animals. And it was different every time.”

They duck their head then, hair falling in front of their face as a quiet, shaky breath escapes them. Janis rests her hand on their shoulder, drawn closer to the little jungle kid. 

“You must miss it there,” she whispers. “Africa, I mean.”

“A bit,” Cady confesses. “Sometimes.” They don’t cry, but their voice is thin and strained, and it’s not unfamiliar to Janis. “But I wanted to come here for years. And I’m glad I did. So...” Their voice trails off and Janis can only wince in sympathy as she runs her hand in circles around Cady’s shoulder. They pause, taking the moment together, and Cady leans closer to her until their head rests on her shoulder. A smile graces their face, small but so bright. “Thanks.”

“No problemo,” she replies. Just in time, the microwave goes off and the two open the door to steaming warm popcorn. They shake it out amongst the three bowls, both secretly adding stragglers to their own even if they’ll share with Damian later. Cady balances two in their hands while Janis tidies up after them and switches off the light. They step into the dimly lit hall and are just about to head to the living room when Janis stops suddenly, a new sense of strength creeping in. The last time she felt like this was when she was twelve, and was looking over at Damian on a similar night. Like something is locking in her heart, and she’s deciding, yep, we’re definitely keeping her. 

“Hey, Caddy?” she asks in a low voice. Cady turns, her eyes wide, and Janis feels herself soften. “I’m really glad you came tonight too.”

Cady grins, a kind of breathless gratitude on their face and goes to hug Janis, only to laugh and remember the popcorn at the last minute.

Janis hugs them on the couch to make up for it. 

Damian doesn’t mind, especially not when Maxie decides he wants to join the party too and cuddles up with Damian on the chair. Janis mumbles something about a “traitor dog” before slipping right back into the movie, quoting it word for word like it’s a second language. Cady raises their eyebrows, seemingly impressed by her ability, and Janis simply shrugs.

“It’s a gift,” she tells them. “Wait and see kiddo, soon we’ll have you quoting this movie off by heart.”

“How very,” Cady replies, and the three of them burst into late night giggles.

They put on Legally Blonde next, another classic Cady hasn’t seen. Cady even talks about how excited they are for it, but before Warner has even broken up with Elle, Janis looks down to find Cady curled up in a ball next to her, fast asleep. Janis  pulls the blanket over her, a rush of protectiveness flowing through her as she does so. It makes sense, she supposes. Cady is one of them now after all. They protect their own.

“Hey,” Damian’s voice comes as a loud whisper from across the room. He’s almost asleep himself, his hand slowly running through Maxie’s fur. He lazily points over at Cady, a crooked smile on his face. “You were right.”

Janis blinks in tired confusion until she realises what he’s referring to; that first day in French class, where Cady had so desperately tried to think of their ‘French name’. When Janis had leaned back in her chair and dropped a note on Damian’s desk. 

“We’re adopting them. That’s our new child” it had read and they went into that bathroom that day and never looked back.

“Yeah.” She turns to say something else, but finds Damian asleep too, Maxie curled up in his lap. Unlike Cady, he had no problem pulling the blanket over himself. She chuckles softly, the only sound in the otherwise quiet room. It’s his house too after all.

She gets up slowly, careful not to disturb Cady, and turns the movie off. They can watch it tomorrow morning after all. She settles down on the couch, right beside Cady again, and pretends that her eyes aren’t blurry. 

As she looks around the room, she finds her prize winning painting propped against the wall, and her cheeks flush at the sight. It had been a vague idea in her mind for a while, but when her teacher had told her to “draw from the heart”, it was the first contender. It’s silly and it’s cliche and it’s sappy; all the things she pretends she isn’t. But it’s also the most authentic piece she’s ever created, and that’s why she loves it so much. It’s all the bits of herself she used to be scared of, sitting on a canvas for all to see. The parts that are open and loving and unafraid. Creating it may have been scary, but the rewards go beyond the prize she won.

It occurs to her, in her fuzzy, half-asleep mind, that maybe that’s the reason it won. Maybe she should try it again sometime.

[hoeassproductions]

Break A Leg: Chapter 11

Masterlist

***Author’s Note: Hey everyone, I am so sorry that you’ve waiting this long for this story to finish out. I happened to come on here after I haven’t been on Tumblr for almost two years. I honestly thought I had posted the last chapter but realized it’s been sitting in my drafts this whole time! How freaking lame!! Anyways, this got an updated edit and without further ado, the last chapter to Break A Leg! I hope you like it!***

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own, possess, or have any links to Chris Evans, nor do I profit off of this work. Any claims otherwise are grossly misleading. This work is not to be posted anywhere else without my explicit permission.

If you would like to be added to any future tag list, reply here or send me an ask. I’d be happy to add you! Happy reading!

Word Count: ~2,500

The Beginning

“Sooooo. . .you've been talking to your mom about me?”

Chris begins to turn crimson as he tries to explain away anything Lisa may have overshared.

“Oh god, what did she say? I only told her the good stuff, I promise. I will talk to her about being nosy. She’s a sweet woman. I love her to death and tell her everything.” he says with a shrug of his shoulder.

“I could tell that, yeah.” I say, not being able to hide the smile that beams from my face in listening to him talk about his mom.

“You have no idea.” He chuckles, and I can visibly see the tension leave his body as he realizes I'm not mad.

"Don't worry Evans, I think it's sweet and I don't mind. Just a little taken aback I guess. I don't know, she seemed really excited to meet me. I want to meet her too, don't get me wrong! It's just…" I take a small breathe as I meet Chris eyes as he waits for me to find the words. "… Is she that excited to meet all of your friends?"

"Well, I mean. C'mon Y/N, you're not just anybody! You're…you're you."

Before I can push him further on what he means, he presses on.

"Y/N, about in the hallway before Sandra came out…"

"Yeah… I think that maybe we should talk…" Now its my turn to be nervous as it's not clear where he's taking this.

In the middle of Chris beginning to speak, my phone goes off. We both laugh uncomfortably, the nerves of the new subject getting more frazzled at the second interruption since being alone. Saved by the bell again!

I pull my phone out of my back pocket and I see that it's ringing for a reminder with my date with Jessie. My face drops. How could I forget about… Shit!

When Chris sees the change in expression, he can tell there's a problem. "What's wrong?"

"It's um…it's a reminder. I have to go, I'm sorry." I get up and walk away back to my cabin with conviction in my step. To my surprise, Chris doesn't follow me, but the separation is good. I need time to think.

How the hell did I not remember I told Jessie we could go on a date tonight? It completely slipped my mind. If I never set my alarm, I would not have even batted an eye staying at the dock longer with Chris. Confusion continues running through my mind as I check the clock on my phone again as I reach my porch. Had it already gotten that late? We couldn't have been out there that long already could we? And I rush back here to go on a date?!

I can only think of one thing do at a time like this. With a little under an hour before Jessie shows, I dial Hannah's number. On the second ring, She picks up.

"Hey love, love!"

"Oh Hannah, thank god. I need to talk to you, and I don’t have too much time." I explain to her everything that's happened since I got here and the current predicament. She's listens patiently, and understands my dilemma.

"Hannah, what do I do? With Jessie, and all the old feelings… It's just so easy to fall back into it but Chris…he's something else entirely. I can't get him out of my head or heart. I see small glimmers here and there that maybe he fees the same but I don't know what he wants. It's a risk to lay it all out there not knowing. What do I do? Jessie will be here any minute and I'm so confused."    

Hannah is quiet while she thinks everything over for a few moments.

"Y/N, your heart knows what you want. I know it's scary, but that's why you should go for it. Lean into the fear and trust that it would work out. Given everything you've told me, I would be hard pressed to think Chris doesn't have feelings for you. You know what you need to do. I know you gotta get ready or whatever, but I love you. Call me later if you need to talk, okay?"

"Ugh, okay. I hate it when you're right sometimes. I love you, too. We'll talk soon."

Thinking to myself as I get ready with 8pm quickly approaching, I'm finding butterflies beginning in my stomach. The nervousness of what's ahead sinking in more. Before long, I hear a knock on my door, and open it to see Jessie standing there with a bouquet of wildflowers. I welcome him in while I place them in a vase with some water.

"You look great Y/N! I have some fun stuff planned for tonight…" he trails off as he realizes something is off as I don't make eye contact with him or say anything. "Y/N, is everything ok?"

I take a deep breathe as I sit him down next to me.

'Jessie, look. Given our history, I think that it's very important that I be as open and honest with you as I can right now. All day, I've been completely distracted… and you weren't on my mind even once. I forgot about our date until my alarm went off to remind me to get ready. And then, once that happened I began to get butterflies and so nervous, but - " Before I could finish, Jessie speaks up.

“Listen, I know we've never gotten the timing right with this, but I can’t help but feel like fate has brought us together this time. Like….things have finally matched up and we can, I don’t know, give us a try? Before you say anything, can we agree to take some time this week to feel each other out. No expectations, just getting to know each other better again. It’s been awhile, and I know some things must have changed….I know they have for me.”

Giving thought to his words, my mind can’t help but wander to Chris.

Chris said it himself. TWICE. You guys are just friends. What if I go for it and he still feels that way? But Hannah was right, there is something there…something that feels beyond what I can even put into words. The almost kiss, the comfortability on the dock, him being so trusting and open with me? Why not lean in to it? And this, with Jessie? This is just…..safe. Hannah said I need to lean into the fear if that's what my heart wants…

Gathering my resolve, I think to myself for a moment, trying to figure out what the hell to say. Looking at Jessie, I can feel the right choice planting itself even further in my heart as my nerves continue to grow until the words reach my lips.

“You know what? Under normal circumstances, I would probably say yes to that but…I don't feel like I can right now. I did get butterflies before you came because I know what my heart wants. Falling back into this would be easy and low-maintenance…safe. But I don't want that, I want fireworks and passion. I want to feel electricity from a knowing stare across the room or my heart pounding from an almost kiss. I-I just…we don't have that chemistry anymore, Jessie. I have it with someone else, and I don't know what's going to happen but I know I have to at least try, or I'd never forgive myself. I'm sorry. You're a great guy and you deserve to find someone who feels this way about you, but that's not me anymore. It just wouldn't be fair to you if my heart isn't in it. I hope you understand.”

After some time of silence, the tension releases from my shoulders, and I can see him process my words.

"I guess that settles it then, Y/N. I appreciate your honesty, and to be honest, I could see the chemistry between you and Chris as soon as you guys arrived. I always told myself that if I ever saw you again, that I would try again but I understand now that I just got wrapped up in the past and I'm sorry for that."

At the mention of Chris, my eyes shoot up to meet Jessie's. "But I didn't say who it was..."

"You didn't have to. It's obvious and there's been a lot of talk since you guys got here. I shouldn't have even tried to get you back, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity for us to actually have a shot at what we kept failing at for years. Listen, he's a great guy, and if he's the one for you, I'm happy for you. Truly. You could do worse than him. Just be careful. His lifestyle and career… it's no joke."

We both fall silent for a moment at him verbalizing something I hadn't even considered yet, the fame that Chris has to bear. Where would that leave me if this goes any further?

Seeing the gears turning in my head, Jessie interrupts my thoughts thrown into overdrive. "Have you talked to him about your feelings yet?"

"No, I've been trying to deny them for many reasons…I don't know what he wants. He says we're friends, but I feel like there's more there. I know I want more, but it's scary to approach it without knowing."

"Only one way to find out kid. Follow your heart, and your gut. He'd be crazy not to go for it with you. You're a catch, Y/N."

I walk him to the door, and give him a hug on the porch.

"Thanks Jessie, and thank you for being so understanding"

Pulling away, I see that Chris has walked back, and is just getting to his porch. He waits until Jessie leaves to say anything.

"That's what all the rush was about? Him?" I can hear slight frustration in his voice as he says this to me while crossing the distance to his door. Is Chris…jealous?

"I-I, Yes it was, but I made it very clear to him that it wasn't going to work. My heart isn't in it…it's with someone else."

At hearing this, Chris comes to a halt, key at the ready.

"I had to be honest with him. I Couldn't…not when…" my words trail off as Chris' eyes meet mine and I can feel all of the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

"Not when what, Y/N?" he says, walking towards me on his porch, and I can see uncertainty dance in his expression.

I feel my anxiety and fear build up inside of me. Tears begin to well in my eyes and I know what I need to say but getting the words to come out is proving difficult.

I take in a shaky breath to gather myself. Y/N, you can do this. Tell him you're worth it. That you both deserve to give this a real shot.

My pulse quickens as my breathing begins to saw in and out of me, but I hold my ground "Not when...my heart is with you. I want you."

I look at Chris and in a matter of seconds, I see confusion and frustration fade from his face to be replaced by the biggest smile I have seen of his to date.

In seeing the change in his demeanor at my admission, the tears begin to spill over, clouding my eyes to point of blurring my vision so when I begin to feel steps on my porch, I was a little startled.

I wipe my eyes and see Chris standing before me. He reaches for me and pulls me into his arms with no words, knowing that I need a minute to compose myself.

I take in a deep breath, his scent settling around me, and I feel myself starting to relax.

"Chris, I'm.....let me explain....I-"

"No Y/N, it's okay. I'm just happy you're less of a chicken shit than I am."

I feel his laughter vibrate our bodies as he lifts his head, and pulls back to see my confused expression.

"Wait-"

"I feel the same way, and clearly you're scared but Y/N, you're one of the most kind and caring people I have ever met. I would be crazy to NOT to be interested in you! Ever since I dumped my coffee all over you and you threw your panties at me, I knew I had to keep you around by any means necessary." I slap his chest as we recall the haphazard way we met a couple months ago.

"Hey, HEY…" he says, as he shields himself from any more of my attack and we continue to chuckle. "What I'm trying to say is that you're amazing and I have feelings for you too. I don't know when it happened but you burrowed your way into my heart and I…I love having you there "

Listening to this, I am overjoyed. I grab Chris and I pull him in close, resting our foreheads together.

"Oh Chris, that makes me so happy to hear. I was so scared that I would ruin this if I said something and you didn't feel the same way but I couldn't ignore it anymore. You're in my heart too, and there's so much we need to talk about and discuss… a lot to figure out but I want to face all of that with you."

"I know Y/N. I know being with me has it's own challenges that a normal relationship doesn’t have to endure but I will do everything in my power to protect you while giving you the world because you deserve it…WE deserve it. You feel that too, right?"

"Yes, I do. I really do. There's a lot a stake when you lead with your heart."

"There always is but you're worth it, what we will build together will be worth it." He holds me to his chest again as I begin to full out cry, the emotions of it all overtaking me. After a few moments, I can feel his tears beginning to mingle with mine, and the realization hits me that this is real. This is my life and he's not going anywhere.

After we both compose ourselves and have calmed down, I embolden myself and look up into his eyes. "I guess there's only one thing to worry about right now then…to finish this."

The question forming behind his eyes before it reaches his lips, "Finish what?"

"The beginning of us."

Recognition falls over Chris face as I pull him in so our lips to finally meet for the first time, and I can feel in my soul; this is the moment I realize he's the only one that could capture my heart.

As we share our first kiss, I feel the world settle around me. This feels right, here in each other's arms without a care in sight. There's no place I'd rather be and to think it all started with a chance encounter.

                                                     ~The End~

Previous 

A/N: Again, so sorry I’m an ass and have kept this ending in my drafts. If you see this and have followed this story this entire time, thank you sooo much! Appreciate all of your likes, reblogs, and words of encouragement to make my first full fic a great experience! Writing is hard and scary, but I really enjoy it and am excited to get back to it! I have some fresh ideas that may just make it on here, so stay tuned!

Tags: @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan  @avenger-nerd-mom @mycapt-ohcapt-writes @mad-for-marvel @vanillabeanlattes @captain-ariel-barnes @emilyevanston @thewife101cevans @loricameback  @plussizeappreciationfics @a-tale-of-two-comics  @melodramaticfanatic @writingcreatingstorytelling  @mywritingsblog @disney-fire-fox @harrinoodles  @lookwhatyoumademequeue @janeyboo @aglarelen @purelyfictionallife  @cevansgirl @mrs-captain-evans @randomcevans  @nomadicpixel @elivanah-writes @katiew1973 @tchitchou26@mackevanstanfan80 @unicornpurplelife

[bates--boy]

“Okay, closer! Remember that this is the best day of your life! Terra, soften the lights!”

         If Peter said right then and there that he knew that modeling was hard from his “experience”, he’d be a liar just trying to soothe his worries and ego. His experience before this was chump work, and none of the filtering, editing, and social media marketing would have prepared him for even an iota of this type of work. Firstly, he had grossly underestimated how long this would take, and it definitely did not take the two or three minutes it would take to snap a selfie, or even the the half hour to get his makeup and hair in order. 

        Secondly, there had to be photos of everything. A toast at the table, Burak carrying Peter down the bridge, Burak making Peter wonder if the universe hated him by brushing away hair and cupping his cheek, Peter taking solo shots in a grayscale room for every. single. dress that the stylists picked for him. Posing on the swings, dancing to nonexistent music, lounging on a leather chair. Pierre wanted photos in as many angles as he can imagine, and fuck how beautiful Burak was, fuck how dazzling and breathtaking Peter felt in the dress once he became used to the silicone breasts -- Peter was ready to bite someone’s nose off by the fifth hour.

          "Alright, everyone, break time!” the manager, whose name Peter also hadn’t gotten but was too frazzled to even want to bother with, called out as she waved people over to the food table.

         Peter knew that if he was going to barrel through the estimated next six hours of this, he should have something nutritious in his stomach, but the bubbly golden champagne called out to him. He downed one glass at the table and carried another to the gazebo steps. His feet hurt, his everything hurts -- how does modeling hurt the body? How the fuck does that happen in a bridal photoshoot? -- but especially his feet, and once he sat down on the step, Peter unfastened the heels and peeled them off. 

        “This is not worth the money,” Peter grumbled, reaching down to rub one of his feet with his free hand. He winced and hissed through his teeth. “Fucking Christ on a dildo...”

        “You totally sound like a bridezilla right now.”

         Peter recognized the voice (because of course, he did) before his eyes snapped up to find Burak ambling over, carrying a plate piled with pastries and pieces of fruits and a bottle of wine with an empty glass. Peter couldn’t even find it in himself to be excited that this Michelangelo sculpture was coming to sit with him, and the alone time in this picturesque setting they were likely to spend together. He was just so drained and sore. Like a cat, a part of Peter wanted some alone time alone, to hide away and lick his invisible wounds and ponder why he was doing this when he knew that, even if his crew had enough money to buy that coveted studio, they weren’t going to get anywhere. Still, he didn’t protest when Burak took a spot next to him and sat the wine and food between them. 

         “You should eat something,” Burak offered oh, so helpfully as he filled his glass.

          “Thanks,” Peter drawled. He plucked a hulled strawberry from the plate and popped it into his mouth. He made sure to lean a little forward so that whatever juice may slip out won’t get to his dress.

       “You’re welcome,” Burak replied. “So, I take it you’re new to this?”

       Peter started to shake his head, ready to draw on his social media and webcam modeling experience, but he thought better of it. Why bother conflate the two for his ego? “Pbbbbbbbbt, yeah,” he answered. He raised his flute to his mouth. “Why? Was it that obvious?”

       “Yeah,” Burak nodded. 

       Peter’s hand stopped, then lowered as a brow rose. “How?”

       “Well, besides the fact that you look like you’re ready to collapse or claw someone’s eyes out? You constantly have to be told to tone it down and you look ready to run every time we have to act out something intimate.”

       “So, I just look unnatural?” Peter looked away and downed much of his drink in one go.

       “Yeah, but it was likely to happen,” Burak bit into a pastry. “I mean: how did you, a guy, get hired as a bridal model?”

        Peter didn’t sense anything offensive in Burak’s tone, just simple curiosity, so he replied honestly with a lazy shrug, “I don’t know. I actually applied for the groom position.”

        “Pffft, oops. Sorry about that. Well, that dress looks lovely on you.”

       “Thanks. That was one of the reasons they hired me as the bride.”

        “Hm...”

        Then silence came. Burak watched the photoshoot crew as he ate his cream cheese bear claw, and Peter watched the shiny of the sun glint off his glass as he slowly waved the flute around. 

       Polishing off the last bite of his bear claw, Burak asked, “So, how is your first professional photoshoot going so far?”

       Peter perked up, smile stretched from cheek to sore cheek. If his hands weren’t occupied with the champagne, he would have given a little clap to sell the reply. “Oh, it is fantastic! Wonderful! My body hurts, this dress itches, the hair care products feel cheap as shit and I’m sure I’m going to break out tomorrow, and I am never doing this shit ever again!”

        Burak leaned back, blinking. He cleared his throat. “Ah... wow. Well, it’s good that you figured it out before you really committed to the modeling career.”

        “I didn’t do this to get a modeling career.”

          “Oh?”

         Peter shook his head and took a breath. “No, I took on this gig to earn money to buy a studio.”

         “A studio...?”

        “Recording studio. For me and my music crew.”

         Now it was Burak’s turn to perk up, and truthfully, seeing interest light his face did make Peter feel better. “You make music?”

       “Yeah. I’m part of this new group called The MizFists. We’re a hip-hop collective.”

        “Hey! My cousin likes hip-hop! Do you have any music posted anywhere? I can tell her about it.”

        And Peter, all wide eyes as he watched Burak take his phone out of his pocket and swiped on the screen. “Oh! Oh, uh, yeah. Our website is M-I-Z-F-I-S-T-S dot com. All of our youtube channels and Bandcamp accounts are on there.”

       “Huh, never seen it spelled like that before...” Burak shrugged.

       “Well, we would have went with the proper spelling, but, you know, another group already has it, and we’re too broke for copyright lawsuits.”

        “It’s a cool name, still,” Burak said. He made sure the message had sent before placing his phone back into his pocket. He ate a piece of mango. “If my cousin decides to go to one of your concerts, I’ll have to tag along.”

       That... should not have been as easy as that. Sure, it’s likely that Burak’s cousin will dismiss their group as crappy wannabes, but still, the fact that Burak even shared their name like that... 

       And the food and bottle (which Burak had in his hand to refill Peter’s glass) -- Peter wanted to ask what was Burak’s goal here. Because who was this jovial with a cross-dressing stranger? Peter had to remind himself that not everyone had an ulterior motive for niceties, he still sought a way, an opportunity, to give this man the stink-eye and a “What’s your endgame, buddy?”

       Taking a drink, Burak passed his tongue over his disgustingly perfect lips and said, “So, since you’re pretty much a rap expert, you wouldn’t mind telling me if this verse--” and he did that weird cool guy rapper hand gesture, “--is fire, would you?”

       “Heh heh, go ahead!” Peter prompted, with that eyebrow raised once more in amusement this time.

       “Okay, okay!” Burak set his glass down and placed a hand on his chest and held the other in front of his face like a microphone.

       Burak stared at Peter, the hunched over bride shaking with his face twisted to hold in a laughter, his own face feigning a cold serious.

         Me and da babe looking heckin’ cool

         After school, hittin’ up the party pool

        Sitting on the grill of the big Bugatti

        All slutty, all thotty

        A couple rock stars making it rain at the pool

      They burst out laughing.

      And Peter didn’t even know why he was laughing; Burak was cute, and it was sweet that he came over here to chat, but it wasn’t funny, not that funny. Maybe it was the earnestness in the humor, or the needed release of stress. Whatever the reason, Peter dabbed at the tear in his eye. Thank goodness for the waterproof stuff.

       “You know? You might have something there,” he chuckled. “You’re definitely the new Will Smith!”

       “Pfffft, please! I am way better than Smith!” Burak tossed his hair. “But I’m going to let my cousin know that she was wrong, that an actual, bona fide rapper said I got some skills!”

        “Shit, if we’re ever looking for another member, we’ll hit you up,” Peter said, taking a grape.

       “Looking forward to it!”

After a friendly elbow nudge, Burak continued, "Seriously, that's cool that you're this serious about your music that you're doing this. I can tell that you're gonna go far. But I hope you don't drop this line of work, because you have a bit of potential in modeling, too. Who knows, you'll probably get famous enough that you'll have clothing brands begging you to model for them, and you don't want to pass up on those deals, would you?"

"Nah, I guess not..." The smile on Peter's painted lips dimmed, and he pursed them until he allowed himself to ask, "Uh... Why are you being so nice to me?"

Burak tilted his head. Oh, god, now he looked like a puppy. An irresistible puppy. "Am I not supposed to be?"

"No, it's just that, er... I thought that supermodels had to be brutal because, you know, this industry is dog-eat-dog."

Burak shook his head. "First of all, I'm not a supermodel; this is just a catalog shoot. Second..." He shrugged. "It felt like you were having a bad time and was uncomfortable around me. And we can't have that for our kissing photos."

For the slow way the words processed through Peter's psyche, his body was quick to react in its non-reacting form: body suddenly rigid, temperature swinging from ghostly chill low to loins on fire and I'm a sinner scorching, mind going as blank as his eyes gone wide.

"K... Kissing? We're going to--" Peter bowed his head with his hand over his mouth. "Oh, my god..."

He didn't see Burak's face, but he felt the indignation rolling off the other man who said, "I mean, I like to think I'm not a bad kisser..."

"N-no! No!" Peter lifted his face and waved a hand. "It's not that! I just--"

"Wow!" Burak snorted. "Wow! You are blushing hard!"

Peter gasped. "No, I'm not!" Of course, where they went for top-quality mascara, they'd cheap out on the foundation.

Burak laughed so deeply that he had to set his glass down. "Yes you are! Aw, look how red your ears are!"

"Oh, my god," Peter, once more, groaned. He bent his head so low that the veil fell from behind his back and draped over his shoulders.

So when he felt an arm slink around his waist, he was too unprepared to stop the yelp squeaking out of his mouth. Nor did he have any protection against the medical emergency fever burning through his body when Burak whispered in his ear.

"Don't you worry, Peter: as a gentleman, I promise you that I'll leave your honor intact and will be tender with you."

Whether Burak was serious or joking, it didn't matter when, to Peter, his voice was every bedroom song one to life. But Burak squeezed his shoulder, and when they've locked eyes, Peter could still see some of that sweet earnestness, that urge to lift Peter's mood, and he could help but smile.

"Gee, thanks," Peter tried with as much playfulness as he could muster.

A chuckle pass between them, and then

Flash. Flash.

Both men looked up to find Pierre lowering his camera. "Oh, that was perfect! I have to convince the magazine to use that in their layout."

"Uhhhh..." Peter said. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Reminding you two that break's over," Pierre said. "Now, let's go, we're burning daylight!"

"Well, that was a nice break." Burak stood and brushed the back of his pants. He held out a hand for Peter. "Ready to get back into the dog-eat-dog world of modeling?"

Peter's smirk was lopsided as he took Burak's hand to let him up. "Sure."

[peterparkerspooderman]

Protective Tessa

Summary: Tom and You come back from touring the world only to come back to a weird acting Tessa

Warning: None

A/N: I hope you lovelies enjoy it. 😊 

MASTERLIST

You and Tom have been touring around the world for the Spider-Man: Far From Home interviews. It was an amazing experience traveling the world and spending it with someone you love. You, unfortunately, weren't feeling well during the last leg of the tour. Tom wanted to back out seeing his family before going home but you tell him it’s fine and that he should see his family after being away for so long.

The plane landed in London and you and Tom quickly gathered your bags and were off to Tom’s family. Tom rang the doorbell. His mother, Nikki, opened the door to be greeted by her son. A smile appeared on her face, illuminating her features. She embraces him in a tight hug before moving on to you.

“Tommy, (Y/N), come in come in.” She says excitedly, gesturing her hands into her house.

You walk in and are greeted by a very excited Tessa. Tom falls to his knees as starts playing with her. She licks Tom’s face excitedly. She comes in front of you and starts sniffing your pants. Thinking she must be picking up the smells from the airport. She sits in front of you calmly and waits for you to pet her. This is odd considering we were full of excitement with Tom.

Tom and you walk to the kitchen to see the rest of the family, Tessa following close behind. You greet the brothers and Dom with a smile and a wave instead of your usual hugs, due to you feeling very nauseous.

“Are you okay, darling?” Dom asks, noticing your weird behaviour.

“She has been feeling a little unwell recently,” Tom answers for you, wrapping his arm around your waist.

“Oh dear, let me make you some black tea, why don’t you take a seat there, love,” Nikki says, gesturing to the chairs by the kitchen island.

You thank her before you take a seat, Tom taking the seat next to him. Not long after you feel teases head lay on your lap. This took you by surprise because this doesn't happen normally but you pet her head anyway.

“Do you think Tessa’s acting strange?” You whisper to Tom.

“I think she just missed you, she loves you a lot you know,” Tom says, you don’t believe him, somethings definitely up with her.  

“So what’s been up with you (Y/N)?” Harry asks, standing across from you.

“I’ve been feeling very ill. Nothing I eat agrees with me, my body ends up getting rid of it.” You explain. Harry nods understandingly

“If you’re feeling so ill, why are you here and not home?” Sam interjects, standing next to Harry.

“Tom hasn’t seen you guys in a long while, it would be fair on him.” You explain. Nikki delivers you your tea, you thank her again. She smiles back in response.

“That’s grossly sweet,” Harry says, mockingly gagging.

“She’s very sweet,” Tom says, smiling at you. He moves his hand and places it on your thigh, giving it a small squeeze.

Tessa growls at his hand and tries to bite it. Tom rips his hand away in shock. Everyone else is shocked because Tessa doesn't bite at anyone, let alone her owner.

“Wow, what’s up with her?” Harry says, eyes wide.

“I have no idea.” You say, you slowly place your own hand on your thigh, scared she’s going to bite it but she gives it a small lick. Everyone seems to shrug it off and starts talking to Tom about his tour.

You, Tom and his family have moved to sitting outside. Tessa curled u[ by your feet. You talk about the traveling, the interviews, and the sightseeing. You end up finishing your tea in the process. You start feeling the nausea wave approaching.

“If you all will excuse me, I hope you don’t mind me laying down on the couch?” You ask, directing your question towards Nikki and Dom.

“Of course not dear, make yourself comfortable,” Nikki responds, concern evident on her face.

You get up to leave but are stopped by Tom’s hand on your wrist.

“Are you okay, baby?” He asks gently. You give him a small smile.

“Yeah, I just need to lie down for a bit.” You say. Tom nods his head before letting your wrist go.

You walk into the kitchen to place your mug in the sink, Tessa close behind you. You walk to the living room and plop your self on the couch. You make yourself comfortable and take off your shoes. Tessa sits down next to you on the floor.

A few seconds go by when you hear Tessa whining and putting her paw on your leg.

“Oh alright.” You say before removing one of the couch cushions to make space for her by your legs. She hops up and lays down, her head on your stomach.

You start to doze off after a while, Tessa already fast asleep when you hear quiet footsteps enter the room. Your eyes flutter open to see Tom approaching you with a gentle smile. You smile lazily in response.

“Hey, babe, how you feeling?” He whispers. He sits down next to your legs, shaking Tessa a but still asleep.

“I’m feeling better, just a little sleepy after the tea.” You yawn the last bit, stroking his arm gently. He leans down to give you a kiss but it was rudely interrupted by Tessa barking and growling at Tom. Tom flies back and is on his feet in a second. You sit up harshly. Tessa’s body in between you and Tom

“Tessa, what’s up with you?” Tom asks, his eyes wide. Not long after Tom’s family come rushing in, worried as to what Tessa was barking about.

“What’s going on here?” Nikki questions, her expression wild.

“Tessa’s acting weird. She won’t let anyone near me.” You explain. Tessa still protectively in front of you.

“That’s so odd.”

“She’s not normally like this.”

“What’s going on with her.”

“(Y/N), is your period late?”

The last question came to a shock to you when Nikki said it. Everyone’s silent.

“I don’t know. It’s been so busy that I didn’t notice. Why?” You ask, finding the question quite strange.

“Because a friend of mine, her dog wouldn’t let anyone near her, even her own husband and that was how they found out that she was pregnant,” Nikki explains.

“Pregnant? I can’t be.” You say quickly, looking over at Tom’s concerned face.

“Well, it doesn't to check.” Harry pipes up.

“I have a test under the sink, it doesn't hurt to keep one in the house. I still have one leftover from when I was pregnant with Paddy.” Nikki reveals.

“Thank you, Nikki.” You say before getting up and heading to the bathroom.

You follow all the instructions on the packaging and wait for the timer on your phone to beep. After what feels like an hour, the timer goes off. You shakily pick up the test, your stomach turning nervously in your gut.

2 lines.

2. Bold. Lines

It can’t be. I’m not ready to be a mother, am I? This will ruin Tom’s career.  Oh no, what is Tom going to think? Thoughts start swirling around your head. Each one making you more panicked. A knock on the door brings you back to reality.

“Baby? Are you okay?” You hear Toms soft voice on the other side of the door.

“Yeah, I’m coming.” Your voice fails you, only croaks come out.

You open the door with the test in your hands. You walk out to see everyone watching you nervously.

“I’m pregnant.”

The two words erupted tears from Nikki, plastered a big smile on Dom's face, made the twins and Paddy cheer in happiness. Though the only reaction you cared about right now is Tom’s. You look over to see a few tears escape Tom’s eyes.

“Tom-“

“I’m going to be a dad.” He says, taking you by surprise.

“What?” You voice your shock.

“I’m going to be a dad!” Tom shouts, a wide smile on his face. Before you could process anything he lifts you up in his arms. Your legs wrapping around his waist.

“You’re happy? You ask him.

“Of course I am. I know it’s a bit sooner than we expected but it’s everything I’ve ever wanted.” Tom says, his voice raw with emotion. You plant a big kiss on his lips. You’re so happy to be apart of this family.

You could never have thanked Tessa enough for almost biting Tom.