#//He wants to partake in the knowing and bond with people via it

[kaypeace21]

I believe that byler is an endgame

but why would they spend 3 seasons winding up with mileven?

People REALLY need to pay attention to the shows the Duffers cited as huge inspirations to them. Cheers,dawsons creek, freak &geeks did exactly what the Duffers are doing (and the Duffers said these shows inspired them)

. Cheers for over 5 seasons built up the pairing of sam and Dianne- had them break up in the s5 finale and then in the last 2 eps of the 11th season have them get back together and once again break up explaining for the 100th time they were wrong for each other and brought out the worst in eachother . Cheers would build up multiple pairings (Frasier /Lilith (s4-11/broke up in s11) , sam/Dianne (s 1-11, broke up in s11 permanently) , rebecca /sam (s8-10) Rebecca/robin (s8-9) -these pairings lasted for multiple seasons and they all broke up! They built pairings up for multiple seasons but showed throughout the show why those pairing in cheers could never work out in the long term. The same Thing happened with almost every pairing in Dawson’s creek (they’d build up multiple pairings up -sometimes for multiple seasons- sprinkle in good but also dysfunctional aspects of those relationships- and then break them apart for good ).

Also in Dawson’s creek 2 characters (a rich girl and poor guy with daddy issues) date and breakup- but both of their gay brothers get together and are endgame instead of them (cough jancy vs byler). One of the gay guys (the rich one with the book smart sis) even dated the main girl (Joey) for a while before admitting he was gay and that he was in denial (while dating the main girl for more than a season ). In D.C even the main guy(Dawson) / girl (Joey) don’t end up being endgame (despite teasing it for all 5 seasons) . They did this with a lot of couples in the show. Honestly, the Duffers pretty much borrowed this idea of showing pairings with issues and breaking them up -but toned down how long they’d bait them . Like 11seasons of showing dysfunctional couples date -ick. And Dawson’s creek ... my god it had a literal love octogon/ love webs (so many love squares/pentagons/ and on and off relationships). The 1 adult couple broke up and I’m not exaggeration 4 times, and Dawson got back with 2 of his girlfriends like so many times. And ugh I’d say each (of the 4-5) main characters dated at least 4 people -and each of those relationships lasted for like 20+ eps each... and then after all that build up -break up ). That’s not even including the people the main 5 or so characters would date for like 5-6 eps . Thank god it was toned down compared to Dawson’s creek or cheers. i can’t imagine the frustration watching those shows during its airing 😂

Freaks & geeks (set in the 80s)was also inspo.14 y old Sam who is bullied and called “homo” “queer” etc throughout the whole series - he also obsesses over a cheerleader girl for the whole series and in the second to last ep of the series- they finally start dating  and he realizes they have nothing in common and says “it’s boring. all we ever do is makeout.She likes nothing i like. We can’t talk to eachother. We never have fun.” And he admits he only keeps dating her cause everyone would call him “crazy” to not date her. sam and her are also said to be “from different planets” and “different species”  just like mileven in s3 lol.  The gf of  sam also says before they dated she saw him ‘like a sister’ (like El asking mike if he’d be her brother in s1, before they date). And after this sibling comment various characters -encouraged the couple and said they would be good together (before they dated-like what we’ve seen in st with mileven and other ships ).Sam eventually decides to not cave to peer pressure- and breaks up with her. Meanwhile sam’s sis (is a straight A student, who is initially into a popular guy and starts hanging with the cool kids).  After getting over the first (popular) guy, she later dates another guy- a music-obsessed-stoner-guy  with a cruddy dad...and she breaks up with him (like jancy?). That couple was even called ‘romeo & juliet’ before they broke up-similar to mileven being called “romeo & juliet’ before their breakup. plus r&j were never in love... just like mileven.

All 3 shows had the main guy/girl date but not end up with eachother in the end . And both shows -would build up several pairings that looked like endgame but would show faults in those relationships and would have them breakup (because those pairings were never that healthy together). Which I believe is what they’re doing with jancy, jopper, mileven and lumax (explained in my analysis here all the evidence for why I don’t think they don’t end up together). I mean there’s many reasons I listed in the analysis but you think it’s a coincidence - jancy, lumax, mileven , and Steve/rando girl who rejected him in s3-all incorportated spying on their love interest ? you think the duffers think that’s good to have all these romantic pairings spy on eachother? When in the show they canonically have the us gov (villains) spy via phone taps, and hidden recorders, and cameras? Brenner used El as a spy for his own gain ? they even call the mf a ‘spy’ (which the characters perceive as the  main villain)... i don’t think the mf is  actually villainous but that’s off topic).The point is narratively equating spying as something ‘wrong’ by characters our main cast of heroes is against. But having that same cast of heroes partaking in spying themselves … specifically on to their romantic partners- and not also showing it as a negative. But romanticizing it? Would be quite hypocritical. And a HUGE narrative oversight.

Also build up?

S1- mileven kiss right after el asks if he’ll be her “friend” or “brother”. Has others compare el to mike’s sibling /cousin. Hint Will is gay . Have hints mike is queer too/ and cares deeply about Will. Constantly mention how el physically resembles Will/a boy. Parallel mileven to ted/Karen who were “never in love”. Have Nancy and mike verbally compare the jancy/stancy love triangle to mileven/byler . And at the end of the season mike writes a story for Will that likens the 2 to han/leia. Flo says about jancy/Jon “ only love makes you that crazy and that damn stupid”. (Which flo wasn’t entirely right about since jon punched Steve for insulting his family- for Jon it was familial love -not romantic love. But put a pin in that phrase)

S2- was pretty much byler season (and mileven barely interact that season). Byler say they’d go “crazy together”. But el’s new catchphrase is she’s “not stupid.” They Compare mileven to luke/leia (siblings that kissed) . Ref ghostbusters and parallel byler to the romantic pairing of Dana /venkman (but have el just be a ghost and mike a ghost buster which isn’t romantic but the opposite) .parallel mileven to hopper/el. Have el spy on mike, el hurt a stranger cause of unhealthy jealousy, have mileven dance to a song about a possessive spying/Stalking ex gf . Throw in mileven burns like “they’re not in love they’re not even from the same planet.” (El being et ref) . Have mike say annoyed “a bond ?! (Scoff) cause you shared nougat?! “ (egos like s1 ) “. Mike saying after knowing max for a week “hate you? I don’t even know you?” (He knew el for a week too so no way he loves her -cause he doesn’t know el , just like max ) . mike even criticizes his friends’ instant attraction to max saying “you haven’t even spoken a word to her.”Dustin saying “ I don’t have to . I mean -look at her.” Which makes it even more suspicious that mike was into a girl who multiple characters said looked like a boy (specifically Will) in s1. Have El watch a soap opera (all my children) and mimic the scene of  erica kane and her love interest michael. Which in the soap opera-isn’t endgame, and ended with some stalking after their breakup.

S3- mileven is finally dating : multiple characters (lucas, Will, Hopper, dustin,Max, etc) in the show dislike and verbally complain about them together . In cheers all of sam’s friends hated him dating Dianne and would vocally complain about it (similar to joyce they even clapped/cheered after 1 of their many breakups) . Mike is horrified by the spying(that mileven fans romanticized in s2) , el is happier single and neither is heartbroken over the breakup. They date for 2 eps and then breakup . Mileven being together inhibits El’s character arc from s2 (aka she went from wanting to explore the world and leave the cabin in s2 to see her friends, to ignoring her friends and cutting herself off from the world in order to stay in the cabin all day to make out with mike for 6 months - she would literally lie to her friends about curfew to return to the cabin and kiss mike -going against her ‘friends don’t lie’ mantra from the past 2 seasons too ). Mike canonically doesn’t trust her / doesn’t believe in her ability to make decisions and lies to her and never apologizes for lying. And el doesn’t apologize for spying . They throw in more gay hints of mike & Will. Mileven is called “bullshit” like s2 stancy . And Both pairings in the show kissed a bunch and said “I love you” (but they weren’t endgame). They also contrast s3 mileven scenes to s2 byler scenes and have byler win out. And once again parallel mileven to hopper/el and Karen/ted. As well as paralleling and likening Mileven to stancy in numerous other ways (besides the “bullshit “ line) . They also parallel mileven to stobin (both are straight baits) .They parallel the stobin confession to the mileven one -both confessions have them sitting on the floor, both girls have bandages on their legs, and both confessions are interrupted by dustin. Also both Steve/mike use the terms “crazy & stupid ” to confess to robin/el. But unlike Will who agrees to be “crazy “ with mike .El confused , asks “ what makes you crazy?” And robin says she didn’t have a crush on his “stupid hair”. el even says in reference to mike “there’s more to life than stupid boys.” Showing how el/robin don’t have romantic feelings for the boys-like the flo phrase of s1. Unlike Will who after fighting with mike calls himself “stupid” over and over and rips up the photo of him and mike where they promised to go “crazy together.” Even Steve says in s2 stancy should should “pretend to be stupid teenagers” in love. Emphasis on “pretend”. And when el says she loves mike “the first I love you” plays -the only other time that song plays in s3 is when robin rejects Steve (cause she’s gay.) cough cause mike is gay too.

There’s a lot more in each season (that illustrates mileven was built up -but not as a positive couple but a problematic one that was never was in love to begin with ). But I’m trying to keep this short . You can read this post here where I go in more depth about all of this .

S1-2 builds up the problematic ships (but showed good and bad aspects of their dynamic) . like the spying of jancy, lumax, and mileven or the jealousy. of Hopper in s2. In the s2 finalie they have them kiss or hug/exchange romantic glances. And in S3 we see the after math of this with all the couples officially dating - and they show all the couples issues at the forefront . I already talked about mileven. But, Lumax broke up 6 times (they dated for 6 months- and every month they dated max dumped him ). Jancy fight in the opening of ep 1 and don’t understand each others issues (sexism/poverty-and Jon’s issues with his dad) . And neither supports the other in their passions of journalism & photography.Nancy is also called “nancy drew” who in 1986 (year of s4) before going to college dumps her long term highschool bf (who helped her in many of her past mysteries/novels ). Their relationship was also shown as complex and somewhat dysfunctional because of both parties -before nancy drew dumps him. And (even if not dating like the other pairings) jopper almost go on a date in s3. Joyce was trying to hide the fact she was moving, Hopper was horribly jealous, and all they did was yell and argue.Murray says to joyce regarding hopper “he’s a brute... probably reminds you of a bad relationship” (aka lonnie/Joyce) . They even have Joyce watch a cheers ep- which directly compares jopper to (dianne/Frasier) who weren’t endgame in cheers but a rebound .  Hopper /fraiser both drink chianti . Fraiser asks dianne to marry him/Hopper asks Joyce on a date-both women stand them up. Or when Joyce asks Hopper out she calls her self ‘detective byers ‘and Hopper name drops miami vice. Which had an on and off again relationship for several seasons- of the male /female detectives.The relationship faded out as Gina realized they mainly got together when one or both needed someone. Crockett was very protective of Gina, and had some jealousy when Gina was involved in relationships , but was the first one to be there for her when things went wrong. And they realized it was better to not be together romantically. Heck seems like all these couples have negative film/tv parallels... lucas in s2 mentions not liking winston in ghost busters cause he came ‘super late’ (like Max). in s1 disses michael myers (which Max dressed as). And at the end of s3- lumax dress identically to eric/donna from a ep of that 70s shows (in the ep  eric/donna were broken up).

 (s3 was marketed as the “summer of love” and “summer love” is a euphemism for flings that don’t last.) s4-5 Will probably show good healthy ships/break up the problematic ones from past seasons .

So first 2 seasons focus on the unhealthy ships / and the last 2 seasons focus on healthy ships. S3 the middle season would be considered the turning point -and why none of the popular ships (assumed to be endgame) came off looking that great (compared to how they were presented in s1-2) .

[jcmiesingh]

      CONNECTIONS ‣ STATS ‣ APPLICATION ‣ PINTEREST

TLDR:: jerry’s son via high school pregnancy & your local drug dealer who’s been working at high volume for about 5 years.

CLICK HERE FOR A SUMMARY OF JAMIE’S SEASON 1 ARC.

full info & headcanons below the cut ! ( @volumeupdates )

( archie renaux, cis man, he/him, muse e ) oh snap! is that JAMIE SINGH? they work over at high volume where some of the other employees have labeled them as THE CATACLYSM. that’s probably because they can be a bit ( resourceful ) but also pretty ( self-serving ). they’re 24 and they’ve been living in woodstock for THEIR WHOLE LIFE. it must be their shift because i totally hear METALLICA blasting from the record store. ( aesthetics: a busted walkman playing heavy metal through the headphones, a hand-rolled blunt sticking out of his back pocket and another tucked behind his ear, the glint of a pearly smile after telling a white lie, filthy sneakers with the soles falling off ) [ EM, 23, EST, SHE/HER ]

born in woodstock to 15-year-old neha singh, whose mother agreed to help raise the baby while neha finished high school and went to college.

jamie’s mother refused to tell him (or his grandmother) anything about his father, even though jamie tried relentlessly over the years to find out who he was.

grandma did most of the actual raising in his early childhood, with neha focusing on school. then once she finished college, she decided to leave jamie in woodstock while she pursued a flashy business career.

money was super tight growing up. his grandma had spent all of her savings on sending neha to college, and as she grew older her health issues made it harder for her to work. neha sent them the occasional check from miami, but it wasn’t much. jamie always just had less than most of the other kids he grew up around.

he started dealing drugs in his first year of high school because he was tired of putting up with having so little. it was more for him than for his grandma, who would’ve wanted to know where he was getting the money anyway.

when he was 16, his operation got busted and he had to spend a year in juvie. he’d been super close to his grandma before, but she was so heartbroken and disappointed that things were never the same between them after that.

after getting back from juvie jamie swore he wouldn’t start dealing again, but he managed to get himself into other forms of trouble -- underage drinking and partying, shoplifting, vandalism, partaking in drugs even if he wasn’t selling them. always one fuckup away from getting kicked out of his grandma’s house, he got super good at letting other people take the fall. people he figured had way less to lose than he did. jamie learned to look out for himself only, with two exceptions: his grandma and muse f.

when he was 18, he was looking through some old shit in the attic and came across his mom’s journal from when she was in high school. upon reading it, jamie learned a lot about his “loser” father, including a name: jerry gordon.

was able to track jerry down after asking around, and it was total news to jerry that they were father and son too. jamie was super happy to see that his dad seemed to be like him in a lot of ways.

jamie’s mom was super angry to learn he’d sought out his dad, seeing it as a betrayal of her and her wishes. jamie narrowly avoided her never speaking to him again by lying and saying that it was jerry who came looking for him, not the other way around.

not that he was even sure why he wanted to keep his mom in his life that badly, she had a whole fancy career in miami now with a husband and a new baby more worth her time than jamie.

he took a job at high volume and bonded hardcore with jerry, after a couple of years he even started calling him ‘dad’ and it didn’t feel weird.

in the meantime, dealing drugs became a thing again because jamie was an adult and he wanted to move out of his grandma’s house. and he figured he wasn’t as stupid about it now, he’d be more careful this time.

when cops showed up at high volume with an anonymous tip about drugs at the store, jamie panicked. things were so good for him: he’d finally moved into an apartment and become close with his dad (who knew about his history and juvie, but was under the impression that jamie had moved past it), and he desperately didn’t want to lose either of those things. he quickly moved his stash to muse k’s locker, figuring they had less to lose and everyone would easily believe they were the culprit. 

of course now he feels pretty guilty about it because he didn’t think the results would be as bad for muse k as they were. but when it comes down to it, he’d probably make the same choice again.

and now his dad is missing?? and it’s not even related to any of jamie’s fuckups??? he is incredibly stressed and v determined to find out what happened to him, while keeping high volume open in the meantime because he’s become pretty attached to the store over the past few years.

against his better judgment, jamie is still dealing, but not as often out of the store. sometimes though.

his personality & interests are v dudebro-like… into video games, hard rock & metal, beer, & sex when the opportunity arises. has fuckboy tendencies but is not a full-on fuckboy i think.

a friendly enough guy, even though he cares about himself more than most other people.

would stab you in the back for a corn chip <3

[poesparakeet-fics]

MA'AM YOU CANNOT JUST TAG "THE POLY NEIN" IN A FIC WITH NO EXPLANATION.

Yikes I probably should have put more thought into it then. Ok, here goes. Let's say this is the version of the Poly Nein that exists in Love and Somatics.

It wasn't hard for them all to come together, after what they'd been through. I'm seeing this as set after this aeyor(sp) arch. Molly's there too. Was he brought back via Lucien? Was he there the whole time? I don't know and neither do you. The point is, everyone lived and they went back too being a happy adventure family. Deal with it.

Veth approves of the practice, but never joins. Yezza and Luke have her whole heart, and considering the Mighty Nein do often get her presence, she wants to keep her heart for them. (She whispers about it sometimes, though, with Yezza. Two snickering halflings with wild imaginations can come up with some raunchy stuff.) She teases the Nein mercilessly about it. She'll still get in on a gang tickle though, providing things don't get sexy. As a Ler she's wicked, fast tiny ahands picking people apart piece by piece. As a lee, she usually squeals and escapes quickly, vowing revenge and taking off to procure backup.

Caduceus isn't really into the sex stuff, but he likes intimacy, cuddles and care. Likes having permission to be close, to be loving, with some of the most love-starved people he knows. He'll often start off with them, then retire to the side to watch them love one another. He is fairly certain that regularly tickling each other into submission might be one of the healthiest coping mechanisms the Nein have, so you know he's ready to help out. As a ler he uses his size to his advantage, not to mention his personal fuzziness and the textured surface of his tongue. As a lee he's more about soft giggles and hugs, always a little worried about hurting the others if they really get him good.

I think Yasha joins him in watching the others sometimes, either leaning up against his side or sitting with Beau sprawled accross her lap, one hand working each of them into a slow, quivering finish. She likes to watch, be present, really settle in to the comfort of knowing that they are all safe/loved/here. Other times she's in the frey, picking people up and holding others down. A wall of muscle, soft smiles and warm skin. She and Beau both prefer women over men, and thus tend to get a lot of one-another's attention. They love the others, but the two of them are a pair. As a ler she likes to bundle the others into her arms for a tickle, or just yank them up into the air and call for the others to wreck them. She's not the most ticklish lee in the world, but cracking her smile is so satisfying that the others don't mind.

Beau is a giving lover. Not a talker, but a doer. Most of her attention goes to Yasha and Jester, though she loves a gang-up scenario enough that she'll go after anyone. Besides, Molly and Caleb are good with their mouths. As a ler she is wicked, having found a huge variety of ways to apply her monk training to tickling anyone to tears and back. She doesn't like to be a lee much, so it doesn't happen often, but there have certainly been times that found her curled in a stubborn, laughing ball in Yasha's arms, feeling safe and warm.

Molly is a shameless switch, just as likely to tease and torment as provoke and partake. #AllTieflingsAreKnismos. Once the group's relationship takes off, it's next to impossible to stop him from constantly being in someone's arms. There are so many options. As a lee he will provoke the Nein into wrecking him regularly and love every second of it. As a ler he teases and taunts. Caleb is his favorite victim, and Jester is his partner in crime. He fears Cad the most.

Speaking of #AllTieflingsAreKnismos, Jester is... exactly how you'd expect her to be. A masterful lover, a teaser in every way imaginable. She and Fjord have a special bond, his dedication to her is absolute. They love the others, but they are a pair. THAT SAID, they were all pretty in love with Jester Lavorre, so she tends to rule the roost. She's good at seeing what people need and giving it to them. As a lee she is sweet and squeeling, teasing her ler and making them do exactly what she wants. As a ler she is a literal devil, more intuitive than Cad and faster than Beau.

Fjord is a font of love in his own way. His affection for them all is quiet, steadfast. He's sometimes a little shy, especially with the other men. He loves them, but he's not as experienced with them. He is attentive and loving, a good talker who knows it. He uses it to tease alongside Jester, and together they are a deadly team. She often brings him in on her insights, whispering to him at night about how she's worried about one person, wants to give extra attention to another. As a lee he's all huffs, chuckles and whines. It takes a while to crack him open and get a good laugh. As a Ler he talks, a lot, driving Lee's up a wall with teases and threats. And Fjord always makes good on his threats.

Caleb is a sponge for love, so much fun to tease and torment that he always has someone in the Nein who is willing. He likes to be made helpless. He doesn't trust himself with control, but he trusts the Nein entirely, and giving up control to them is a great comfort. So the Nein make it a point to tickle and torment him out of his keen mind on a regular basis, and he is better for it. As a ler he can actually be quite dangerous, between vokstrucker training and a good charisma score. But he doesn't tend to start fights he can't win, so his attacks are special occasions. As a lee he can be taken apart with tickles, compliments, threats, teases and all sort of other fun things. He begs prettily, and the nein all know some pretty niche Zemnian at this juncture. It's not unusual for him to polymorph after a hard day, crawling into their beds as some ginger fluffball or another, and fall to slumber in his animal form. He transforms eventually, but by then he's achieved sleep and cuddles without having to ask for them. What happens when he wakes up depends on the bed.

There you go anon, you have my penance and my apologies. The Poly Nein!

[iinfortunii]

rules: code of conduct.

BEGIN.

Before we start, I would like you to have certain things in mind when approaching me ooc. I am very shy and quite awkward, which results in me not being much of a talker; however, I will always try my best to be friendly to whoever wants to approach. I dislike pet names so please do not use them with me unless we are very close. There will be times when I'm just exhausted, so my wording could sound rude/aggressive, to which I apologize in advance -I never mean to hurt people’s feelings. I also reserve the right to interact with WHOEVER I want, and pestering me about it will only get you blocked.

Updates will be made as required.

I. BASIC.

A. This blog is: Selective / Independent / Canon Divergent / NSFW / Mutuals only / Singleship / Mostly iconless / Multiverse / AU, Crossover, OC, and Multimuse friendly / Vaguely affiliated with the OP RP fandom.

B. I am a very slow rper for many reasons —school, family, my ever-fluctuating mood —and I would appreciate it if you refrained from pestering me for replies. In return I offer as much patience as necessary. Think of this blog as low activity please.

C. English is not my mother language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes made.

D. I track the tag #iinfortunii, although mentioning me works just as fine.

E. Constructive criticism is always welcome but anon hate will be immediately deleted. I have no problems if you disagree with my portrayal, but it doesn't give you the right to harass me.

F. Mun and muse are both over 18, so there are chances that heavy content will be present; however I won't be writing smut. I can roleplay anything before or after the act if requested, but the moment things get far too explicit, I'll do a fade-to-black. I ask of you to not lie about your age or else you’ll be blocked indefinitely.

G. This is a heavily headcanon-based blog, and changes are likely to be made as more information is revealed about him, though I reserve the right to adjust the new information according to my interpretation of Deuce or simply ignore it, which is why I’m canon divergent.

H. If you'd like to turn an ask into a thread, you can turn it into a new post, or reblog from me, as I won't be using the Tumblr asks anymore due to the problems that come with formatting and such.

I. Ask box is open for everyone ic or ooc, but you aren't allowed to turn it into a thread and nor I will reply to it if we’re not mutuals. Please don't push me, because I won't hesitate to block.

J. No godmoding —only a minor is allowed if it moves a thread forward —or metagaming, please. Don't kill Deuce either, unless plotted beforehand, and most importantly, don't hold your muse back.

K. Discord is available for mutuals upon request.

L. Just because I write something it does not mean I condone it. Please have this in mind and again, do not pester me about it. Any and all nsfw matters will be tagged accordingly. There will be triggering topics present, and you can know more about this on the section below.

M. DO NOT involve me in drama or call-out posts. I’m heavily against both things. On this note, you’ll never see me rebloging a call-out post. This culture is so damaging and toxic, and I firmly believe no one should play the role of the judge for the good of the community just because you had issues with someone or don’t agree with the things they roleplay. Talk things privately, be mature about it, hard-block the person and move on. I am also very aware that a lot of people have done things that can’t be excused, but I like to believe that people can change for the better. If you try to drag me into it, I'll hard block any and all people involved indefinitely.

II. TRIGGERS.

A. They will be tagged as trigger tw, trigger / and trigger cw.

B. I do my best to stay up to date with my mutuals triggers. Your comfort is way more important to me than you might think, so never be hesitant to approach me via IM, (anonymous) ask or stop following me.

C. Triggers that are likely to appear, although some more than others: violence || blood || death || drugs || abuse || knives || body image || medical equipment || suggestive content || etc

D. I have no triggers, so you are free to go wild with your content. I only ask you remember to tag your nsfw (both written and visual), please.

III. INTERACTIONS.

A. Deuce won't like everyone. He might/will make wrong assumptions about your character. He will insult and bite back. He won't always be nice to those he likes. He does many things that serve his interests. You, as the mun, have no reason to take it personal, because I'm won't follow someone I don't like; if you DO take it personal however, and decide to rouse drama, then I'll be hard-blocking you. Goes for me as well —I have no reason to get angry for any of the things noted above.

B. My bonds page displays the relationships that have been built over time, not necessarily through interaction alone but over plotting as well. Refer to it for more information.

C. Interactions with OCs related to canon characters will only take place as long as said OCs have a detailed about page. Personally, I'm not interested in the idea of an OC being blood-related to my portrayal, so I apologize in advance.

D. Formatting isn’t a big thing across my blogs, save for the small text. Please don’t mix either sup/sub with small text when writing with me, as I have eyesight problems. Don’t use colored text either.

E. Non-romantic pre-established relationships are allowed! Just make sure to talk it out with me first, yeah?

01. Spade / Whitebeard pirates (canon and original characters alike that i am MUTUALS with) will have a pre-established relationship as long as the other mun is comfortable with such idea, though that relationship will be limited to merely crewmates, unless discussed otherwise.

F. You don’t need to match my writing length as long as I’m given enough to work with. If something about my reply bothers or doesn’t work with you, let me know and I’ll re-work it.

G. I really enjoy plotting scenarios or talking out about the relationships my muse could have with other muses, so hit me up if you’ve got any ideas! I’ll try to do the same!

H. Mun does not equal muse, so don’t go assuming I’m a jerk simply because Deuce is an asshole from time to time. I’m set on the idea that I’ll give people the same treatment they give me —which is always nice and kind. Kudos to everyone for this ♡

I. I don’t use a threadtracker because I rely on my memory (terrible mistake, I know), but I try to draft people’s replies as soon as I see them. If by any reason it seems like I lost it, then please let me know / send me a link with it and I’ll be deeply grateful.

J. I don’t do nor reply to greetings starters for matters of my own comfort, so I ask of you to never expect a starter or a reply from them.

IV. SHIPPING.

A. Singleship, with the spot taken by daadzi, which means Deuce is no longer open for romantic relationships.

01. Under no circumstances, I will accept more romantic relationships once the spot is taken. That being said, I won’t discourage your muse from falling for / hitting on him, although I ask you to understand he will never respond with the same interest or will never react gently if he’s pushed too far.

02. If my shipping partner is comfortable enough, I'll interact with duplicates with the condition that the relationship is strictly platonic.

B. Constant interaction, mutual interest, and chemistry are a must for the sake of better communication (both ic and ooc, preferably).

C. Please do not approach me if you wish our characters to have either a: one night stand or friends with benefits type of relationships. It won’t work out due to the nature of Deuce’s personality, and for that I apologize.

E. My ship has its own tag so you're free to block it if you don't want to see it on your dashboard. In addition, I'll also tag those posts with only the ship name for this very purpose.

F. Please do not force ships on me.

V. CELEBRATIONS.

A. First off, I am absolutely terrible at keeping up with dates, and to be frank, I am not the biggest fan of celebrating, which is why I think it’s necessary to say I won’t be partaking in any holidays, not even Deuce’s birthday (not that he has one, to begin with). Obviously I will still reply to any gifts received, and will send out things in return —you know, common courtesy.

B. I won't be sending out birthday gifts every year, and I might write drabbles for people once in a blue moon; it doesn’t mean they will be done for the specific date though, so please be patient.

VI. REASONS TO NOT FOLLOW BACK / UNFOLLOW.

A. Too much drama / call-outs / vague posts / sexual content.

B. Content makes me uncomfortable.

C. You are a personal blog without a visible rp sideblog. Please make sure it's easy to find.

D. You do not have a proper tag system.

E. Your blog doesn’t have a rules and about pages.

F. You lack the manners to deal with people respectfully.

G. I have no interest / lost interest.

H. I'm constantly / only used as a meme archive.

I. Other reasons may apply. I will soft block so we can both cease following each other and avoid any potential awkward situations. I won’t make a fuss if you decide to unfollow so I expect the same courtesy.

VII. ABOUT BEATRICE.

She is not a real person. Her concept as Deuce’s (toxic) pseudolover is my creation and was somewhat inspired from the real life Beatrice Portinari. Do have in mind that Deuce doesn’t talk about her so your muse can’t simply approach him and ask about her unless they can go through his memories / read his mind / any capability alike or he speaks about her, though it won't take a genius to figure out that she's a product of his imagination.

You can read about her by clicking here -link to be added.

She serves as a lie to shield himself from the internalized homophobia he deals with up until meeting Ace.

NOTE: As stated previously, Mun =/= muse, but I too have been dealing with compulsory heterosexuality for far too long, so I'd like to apologize in advance for projecting a bit of that into my portrayal. I'll work so that this part makes sense with what we've been given from Ace's novel.

VIII. MISCELLANEOUS.

A. I will never force people to follow me, so if by any reason you have to unfollow/block me, please go ahead. Your comfort matters and have every right to do what you must to ensure your wellbeing. With that said, I will not tolerate and will immediately hard block if you try to police my content.

B. I do not follow back immediately, and it can take me from a few hours to several days to follow back. Do not take it personally if I choose not to.

C. If I follow it’s because I am interested in interacting. I only ask you to be patient because it might take me a while to gather the courage to send something to your inbox or talk to you.

D. I have. ZERO knowledge about medicine. Don’t expect me to go full force and try to be 100% accurate, because I won’t.

E. I practice reblog karma (send a meme to someone if I’m rebloging it from them). If you see something you’d like to reblog but have no intention in sending something yourself, then please reblog from the source.

IX. FINISH.

Thank you for taking the time to read this! As you might have noticed, there’s no password to send. Make sure to check the psa tag for any updates, or don’t hesitate to send an ask if there’s anything unclear! I do my best so as not to post too much OOC posts, but sometimes it just happens. If it's nothing important, then I'll erase it whenever I have the chance/remember.

Keanu Reeves vc: You’re all breathtaking!

[eujazmine]

⟨ RYAN DESTINY. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JAZMINE HARPER is actually a descendent of H E C A T E. it’s still a question of whether or not the 23 year old BUSINESS MAJOR from HOUSTON, USA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite PASSIONATE & MISCHIEVOUS.

hi everyone it’s rae #2 again 😔 but allow me to introduce you all to my darling jazmine, who is a revamping of a couple muses i’ve played in the past. as always, like this post and i’ll hit your dms!

History (death tw)

claimed at birth in houston, texas since her father could see through the mist. her father started physically training around the age of three. it wasn’t anything too crazy at first, since she was only a toddler when they began, but her father wanted her to have a head-start athletically. on her 6th birthday, hecate gifted her a spell book and required that she started her magical training.

she started attended camp elektra in california during the summers when she was seven years old. at some point, her father got married and started having more children. when she was twelve, he announced that they would be moving to new york for her new step-mother’s job. that summer, she attended camp half-blood, and leaving for camp was the last time she had seen her texan home.

it was around that time that her and her father’s strong personalities truly began to clash. they had different visions for jazmine’s future, and she started to resent being under his control. it also frustrated her that she couldn’t alter his perception via mist, which led to even more complications whenever she was caught doing so to her step-mother.

she spent nearly two years with her family in new york. after nearly getting expelled from school and having too many issues at home, her father sent her away to year-round camp in greece by the time she was 14.

due to extensive training, she was among the top-ranked during her time at camp athens. she devoted much of her free time, including summer breaks, to questing and rigorous training, and was often recruited through the school for selective quests.

once she graduated, she tried staying with her father in new york again to work and save money, but this only lasted about six months. she went back to europe to travel and she fulfilled quests for money to support this new lifestyle.

at 20, jazmine had another terrible fight with her father. she left and hasn’t seen him since. after this, she started to take questing seriously again. she went on more dangerous and complex quests, knowing there was no one really out there waiting for her safe return.

then came 2019: the zeus incident. she, celeste (daughter of zeus) and adelphie (daughter of apollo) teamed up to retrieve poseidon’s trident from zeus. these three had quested in the past, and were a notoriously powerful trio, but they had never gone against celeste’s own father.

by the time they had defeated the guard monsters and reached the trident, zeus had become aware of what they were up to. he killed adelphie on sight. as jazmine futilely tried to heal adelphie’s lifeless body, celeste used this moment to carry the trident back to the ocean via the wind. soon enough, zeus zapped celeste off the mountain. whether the god of thunder hadn’t seen her hiding in the darkness or he just didn’t care, she’ll never know, but he spared jazmine and left.

after carrying adelphie back down the mountain and presuming that celeste was also dead, she came across rostam, who had prophesied that something would happen at the mountain. he helped her bring her friends back to eonia, where she was allowed to rest and enroll for the following semester.

now, she’s at eonia studying business because 1) she has nowhere else to go and 2) she doesn’t think she wants to fight her whole life anymore. 

Personality

being able to manipulate mortals as a child has made her view people more as vessels of entertainment or stimulation, and it shows. her sense of humor primarily revolves around teasing others, such as mocking them or playing tricks on them, and her blunt remarks can often be perceived as quite insensitive. she is very observant and has no problem using this trait for blackmail or manipulation, but she uses this to provide frank judgment or advice when asked. “0 to 100″ is a pretty accurate way to describe jazmine -- meaning for the most part, she has a calm, cool vibe, but her hot-temperedness can quickly get her in trouble. she can be impatient, vengeful, and petty, refusing to be the bigger person or the “loser” when crossed. stubborn and prideful, she could hold a grudge forever until she serves her own sense of justice or receives external mediation.

her bluntness and outbursts might give off the impression of her being mean, which she kinda is sometimes, but she isn’t that mean. she’s a compassionate person, and she’ll often help others if she feels sorry for them, despite trying to brush off their problems as beneath her. this is especially true when it comes to her friends. although she can be particularly harsh with them, her fierceness also comes with extra love and protection.

Powers

her most powerful ability is mystiokinesis, but it didn’t come easily. like other children of hecate, her magic is strongest at nighttime and very limited during the day. she was given a spellbook once claimed and has been perfecting her craft since. her magic gives her a limited grasp of all kinds of abilities, but she is most skilled in the areas of magic that have helped her the most on quests, such as vitakinesis, offensive spells/curses, and magical tracking. she works hard to improve her mystiokinesis through camps and personal training, but she is prone to overdoing it and negatively affecting her own health.

mist control is her secondary ability. it was the first of her powers to develop. as a child, her suggestions seemed to be a little too convincing to mortals. although it wasn’t fool-proof, she found herself manipulating people’s perceptions in her favor, possibly to get herself out of trouble or solely for entertainment purposes. she mostly uses it to her advantage around mortals or on quests. at eonia, and hasn’t found much use for this skill at eonia.

umbrakinesis is definitely her weakest power, but she would love to be more skilled in it. it has been the most difficult for her to develop, so she can only sometimes use the shadows as a shield or as a method of travel during the night. however, she has been able to levitate since she was a kid, which has been pretty convenient ever since she learned how to control it.

Extras

tl;dr: retired adrenaline junkie prone to moodiness

she has been at eonia since summer/fall 2019. you can get some more details about that last quest on celeste’s intro and self-para, if you haven’t already! feel free to assume that your muse had heard something about it.

she’s very hard-working and puts 110% into the things she cares about. the number of hours she has devoted to magic and academics is endless. neither of these areas come super naturally to her, so she has to work extra hard to develop them to reach her standards.

those 2 years she spent traveling europe and questing for cash?? she was living her best life. she used mist control and mystiokinesis a lot during this time to do things like avoid getting arrested, sneak into fancy masquerade balls, crash weddings, and waive any extra fees she couldn’t afford. she’ll bring up a wild memory from time to time if the conversation calls for it, but it’s rare for her to give out too many other details.

character inspo: think michelle jones (1), jessica huang (1, 2), hotaru imai (1, 2), fallon carrington (1, 2, 3), mal (1), daoming si (meteor garden), jennifer pierce (1, 2, 3), sam puckett (1), rosa diaz (1, 2, 3, 4)

works at the dining hall. she doesn’t care about this job and therefore puts no effort into it, so don’t expect a smile or cheery tone from her when you walk in.

involvements: black student union, gamer’s guild, football (soccer)

a skilled fighter, she is well-versed in swordsmanship and hand-to-hand combat, but she prefers using magic since it comes from her godly lineage.

she’s been playing soccer since she was a child, a sport her dad forced encouraged all of her siblings to partake in. although her and her father had many other issues, this actually wasn’t one of them, seeing as they both shared a genuine love for the sport. she’s known for being overly aggressive and instigative on the field, so she's at risk of losing her position if she starts any more fights.

Potential Connections

ex: there was probably never any official title tbh so she might even claim that they weren’t exes. jazmine’s a very private person and finds this kind of stuff too vulnerable, so maybe your muse got tired of being treated like a secret.

quest mates: could’ve been for anything tbh, but if your muse was significantly weaker than jazmine, she would’ve for sure let them know.

tutor: she works hard to maintain her grades, but sometimes she needs the extra help. 

people she protects: for whatever reason, jazmine has a soft spot for your muse, so she’ll take care of them when they’re sick, bring them home from a party, put a curse on their ex, you name it.

past hookup: she never called. consider yourself blocked.

friends: self-explanatory! unlikely friends, friends who bond over mutual hatred, frenemies., etc.

enemies: her moral ambiguity and rude remarks probably rub some people the wrong way, so enemies wouldn’t be too surprising.

clients?: i’d imagine that some people have paid her in the past to bring misfortune to their enemies. they probably paid her some money to put a lil curse on them. it’s never anything permanent. if they paid her extra, maybe she did some research and brought them something to blackmail them with.

targets: the people that her clients have paid her to curse. she’s just a third party trying to chase the bag, so no hard feelings, really -- but if your muse somehow found out they got cursed by her, she’d be willing to reverse it for a price.

pawns: maybe she views them as weak. maybe she just finds them funny. either way, she has little respect for your muse and will mess with them for her own entertainment. it’s all in good fun!

people she met while exploring europe: she was up to a lot of shenanigans during those two years, so the possibilities are endless.

[thehoodsweetheart]

Sandcastles | Part III.

A/N: Sandcastles is officially a series! I really hope this is up to par. Please excuse the mistakes.

Warnings: Fuckboy!Erik (?), Angst!, Use of the N-word (I’m Black. I have that right).

Summary: If you have not read Sandcastles Part 1 and Part 2, please do so before reading this. Although, it may not be totally necessary to do so but it helps. The reader is a Black Woman, always has been always will be.

Word Count: 2.4K

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           Fear. Erik didn’t possess the concept of fear. He’d overcome that emotion in his early years. Somewhere between finding his father dead and his first mission as a secret operative, that feeling had been wiped from him. At least that’s what Erik believed. Who could possibly still possess that emotion after witnessing and partaking in such horrendous acts? Fear equated weakness and he prided himself of not being weak, never letting anyone in close enough to expose a weakness. That was until he did. He let you in.

            When Erik realized that he let you in, he tried to push you away but you didn’t tolerate it. This was before you and Erik were even in a “real” relationship. Erik thoughthe was able to give people the cold shoulder, but yours could get colder. Erik had grown accustomed to stringing women along, fucking them, leaving them, and popping back up whenever he felt like it. When he attempted to ghost you, you completely ghosted him. You did not go for the ‘I’ll pop up in a few months to see if I can still hit’ game. When he saw you on what he thought was a date, he lost it. He wasn’t going for that shit. He knew that he had to make y’all relationship real. Erik fearedlosing you. This was something he would have to come to terms with quite a few times. He actually feared losing and loving you.

           This kind of fear was one that perplexed him. He wasn’t like he was afraid you could get him killed or kill him. He’d done his research after meeting you the first time. This fear was childish in Erik’s mind. It was the fear parents provoke when they threaten to take away something after you misbehave. One where you know you could live without it but you still feel like you need that thing or just really want to keep it. Or possibly it was the fear of what became his new normal being stripped from him? It wracked his brain until he’d have a lapse in judgment. The fear of loving you led to him doing things that would risk you leaving. It was a cycle.

         The birth of Iman only added to his paranoia. He never put much thought into having children because he simply never thought he would live long enough to have them. When Iman was born, he questioned everything he’d ever did wrong. Was he even good enough to have a love so pure? What if his past came for him and he lost you and Iman? He feared walking into a repeat of his childhood. His father’s death haunted him. Death was something he could accept. It was second nature but not with you two. Erik would give his life to spare you both.

         These thoughts invaded his brain as he sat in a long drawn out meeting. Queen Mother Ramonda came to Los Angeles for the benefit and there was quite a bit of business to handle since she was in town. Erik was the first to present her updates with his social outreach work at the center, along with some technological advances he worked on with Shuri. But once he was done presenting, his thoughts began to invade him. Erik constantly checked his watch and peered out of the closest window spacing out. For the start of the day, Erik felt normal coming back to work, confident even.  There was a shift. He could feel it in his stomach as if something wasn’t right. It could have been paranoia.

       Erik received a notification to his phone that only heightened his paranoia. Iman’s Kimoyo beads dropped offline. It wouldn’t have been odd but this was the third time he’d gotten this notification that day. Iman’s Kimoyo beads never went off more than once, two times max. Why would Y/N take off Iman’s kimoyo beads so many times in only a few hours? His leg bounced as he slouched into his seat bringing his hand that now formed a tight fist to his mouth. It didn’t help that Y/N’s kimoyo beads had been offline since the night of the benefit. They were the final item Y/N threw at him before leaving.

       Erik’s eyes scanned the room as if he was searching for an answer that was obviously not in that conference room. Shuri shot him a quizzical look. He could only assume she had received the notifications for Iman. By the time the meeting wrapped up, Erik had not received a new notification signaling that they were back online. It had been 32 minutes since the last alert. He didn’t need his iPhone to tell him that. He had counted. He brushed past everyone being the first to exit the conference. He needed to figure out what was going on. He knew he could easily check once he was in the privacy of his own office. Before he could reach his office, he felt a small hand grab his shoulder. Erik spun around with annoyance only to see Shuri with a concerned look on her face.

“Hey cuz…Is everything cool? Have you talked to Y/N? Iman is still showing offline.” Shuri asked with her eyebrows furrowed together.

“Don’t even worry about it lil cuz. I’m about to give her a call now.” He tried to wave her off and continue his walk to his office. Shuri stopped him again.

“You know, I know right? I’m young but I’m smarter than you, American.” Shuri teased. Erik scoffed. “I’ll do an override to tap into the beads. See if Y/N left your sorry ass...again” She whispered her disapproval.

“Nah, I don’t need you doin all that. Y’all all up in my business bad enough as it is. Iman probably had an accident and needed to take an extra bath.” Erik stared down Shuri with cut eyes.

“We wouldn’t be in your business, if you didn’t mix business with pleasure in your office…and if that scenario makes you feel better, believe what you want. WHEN you need an actual answer I’ll be in my lab.” Shuri waved her hand turning to leave him.

“Yeaaa…please focus on something important kid. I know you have some new developments that you haven’t completed yet. Maybe a new toy?”

Shuri rolled her eyes raising her hand holding a middle finger high, unaware of her mother sauntering through the hallway.

“Shuriiii”, Ramonda scolded. Shuri groaned stomping away. Erik chuckled only to earn a side-eye from his aunt.  She mumbled a ‘mmhmm’ before walking away.

           Erik entered his office immediately dialing Y/N’s number. He listened to it ring for a while before going to voicemail. He tried not to think much of it. That was his first time calling her. Erik hung up dialing her number again only to get the same result. He took in an uneasy breath trying to calm his heartbeat. He took a seat at his desk, his leg bouncing as he debated if he should call her for a third time back to back.  You normally answered his calls if he called twice in a row, even if you answered just to tell him you’d call him back. He decided against calling again. Erik knew he should give you some time and not let his paranoia overtake him. Maybe he was too used to you being available? Or maybe Shuri was right?

           He couldn’t fight the urge anymore. Erik swiveled around in his chair, his fingers moving with no hesitation as he logged into his work computer. It had been 44 minutes since Iman’s kimoyo beads sent the last notification with no indication that they were back online. He doubled clicked the icon for the program that allowed him to view the activities in his home via the cameras he installed throughout the house. Each room assigned to its appropriate label.

          The first room to come into view was the living room showing no sign of disturbance. Erik could feel his adrenaline spike as he double clicked the label for Iman’s room. Her nursery appeared but he could see her crib was empty but the kimoyo beads lay in the center of it. Did she bounce and take the baby? What if she just left to run errands and the Kimoyo beads fell off by accident? Or she could be giving Iman a bath. Erik hoped it was one of the later scenerios. His chest tightened as he scrolled through the current activity of the various rooms seeing that Y/N and Iman were not at home. But where could they be? He gave Y/N a call once more. This time it went straight to voicemail.

          He picked up his office phone about to dial his assistant’s phone number when it hit him. He no longer had an assistant. The intern, Arya, was taking on the role as his assistant. In the past six months she had full access to his schedule, followed him around everywhere, and managed to keep up with him without getting in his way. That was until they crossed that professional friendly line and began an affair two months ago. For Erik the affair was a physical thing, no real emotion lived there. Nonetheless, Arya was not worth losing his family over. When T’Challa made the decision to let her go during Erik’s one-week leave of absence, he didn’t care. That was one step towards fixing world that crumbled before him.

       Erik opted to call Shuri instead. He knew Y/N formed a close bond with Shuri and Nakia over the past few years. It was strong possibility that Shuri could get an answer from Y/N faster. He wasn’t going to lie to himself and say she had forgiven him completely. Shuri answered in a knowing tone.

“Did Y/N mention her next doctor’s appointment?” Erik’s voice rushed almost sounding as if his question was one word.

“Whoaa, slow down. It’s not until next week or something but I don’t keep your wife’s schedule. You should know that.”

“Tell him to stop trying to spy on his family from his computer.” T’Challa interjected only for Erik to smack his teeth.

“Nigga nobody’s spying. I’m trying to make sure they’re okay.” Erik countered.

“Ah, is that what we’re calling it now? Okay. Well maybe you should head home? You probably won’t stop checking the cameras until you see them come back anyway.”

“Shit nigga, wouldn’t you?! I knew I shouldn’t have come into work today. I could’ve did that damn presentation from my home office.” Erik ranted as he snatched his blazer from the couch in his office. He scrambled to put it on while looking for his keys.

           Erik quickly ended the call rushing out to his Acura NSX. He sped the entire way home. Despite trying to be optimistic and think they were running errands, something just didn’t feel right. It was nagging at him since the meeting. Maybe it was his conscious reminding him that he still fucked up and needed to right his wrongs with his wife? But after last night and this morning, the way she screamed his name and clung to him, just as she always had, he thought he still had time to fix things.

           He arrived to the house in record time. He walked in calling Y/N’s name only to be met with silence. He checked the garage seeing that your car was in fact gone. Erik clenched and unclenched his fist while beginning to count backwards from ten. The pressure he was feeling in his chest was beginning to weigh him down. He couldn’t explain why he was anxious about walking upstairs in his own house to his own room. Nevertheless, his feet carried him there.

           He reached their taking in his surroundings. The gleam from your 7-karat pear shaped diamond ring caught his attention. Approached the nightstand noticing the handwritten note under your ring. He read and reread the note three times trying to internalize what you wrote. His nostrils flared as his eyes began to burn. He balled up the note with hast throwing it across the room. He screamed ‘fuck’ storming out of the master bedroom. You really left him and you took his heart with you, Iman. To top it off, you didn’t want to be apart of this new pregnancy. His chest heaved just thinking about it.

         Erik made his way to Iman’s nursery seeing the closet was open. For whatever reason, he hadn’t noticed her closet while checking the cameras earlier. His mind was centered on the Kimoyo beads then. Iman’s closet was practically empty. There were only a couple of onesies and dresses left. He counted five. Erik walked over to Iman’s crib grabbing the plush pink elephant that Iman loved. He leaned over the crib’s railing clutching the stuffed animal inhaling its scent. Y/N really took his baby. His family was gone.

        The sound of slamming doors followed by the doorbell ringing snapped him out of his thoughts. Using the back of his hand, he wiped his tears. He rushed downstairs hoping it was his wife, but why would she show up after writing that note. He opened the door without even checking to see whom it was, only to reveal two men in khaki colored uniforms. He squared his shoulders feeling his internal rage grow.

“Who the fuck are y’all?” Erik barked. The men blinked a couple times looking taken aback.

“Uhh…Umm…We’re from Enterprise Moving company. We were sent to get Mrs. Udaku-Steven’s belongings.” The shortest one stuttered. Erik’s frown deepened.

“Y’ALL NOT TAKIN’ SHIT! GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY!” Erik slammed the door in their faces and immediately went to call you.

      He got your voicemail once again. It took his entire strength not to throw his phone. There were knocks at the door followed by the doorbell once again. He clenched his jaw as he heard the moving men asking his to open the door. Erik decided to text you.

You better call that moving company and tell them to leave before I body ALL these mothafuckas!

           Erik knew you were screening your calls. It was confirmed when his text appeared as read a minute later. The gray bubbled with three dots popped up, then went away, and popped up again before going away. His phone began to ring as you picture appeared. He pressed the green button answering. Before he could even say hello, your voice blared through the speaker.

“ERIK! PLEASE DON’T!”

Tag list:

@purple-apricots @chaneajoyyy @toniilaney @wakanda-inspired @almeda-344 @desireatatyana

@wakandalivesforever @yoyolovesbucky @beaut1fulone-blog @sarcastic-sunshines

@elaindeereads @soufcakmistress @bujotellsyourstory @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir

[aaknopf]

The poet Quan Barry is also a fiction writer, whose mischievous We Ride Upon Sticks has just been published. In the fall of 1989, the seniors on the losing Danvers Falcons field hockey team avail themselves of some locally-sourced Salem witchery, in the hope of concocting a winning season. They make a pact, signing their names in a spiral notebook with Emilio Estevez on the cover, and rip and tie strips of Falcons-blue tube sock around all their arms, sealing their dark bond. In the scene below (which includes a special guest appearance by the poet Philip Larkin), the team mingles with members of the football team at their favorite pizza joint. We meet one of the more mysterious players, Girl Cory, so-called because there’s also a Boy Cory on the squad; Boy Cory’s story, like that of Girl Cory, their teammates Jen Fiorenza (whose awesome, high-teased bangs are known to all as “the Claw”), Abby Putnam (ancestor of an original Salem accuser), and others in the mix here, is a journey of identity, community, and the magic of high school friendships.

from We Ride Upon Sticks

“Our butts are going to States this year,” said Jen. “Where are your butts going?” Just then Girl Cory walked in. For a moment the air in Rocco’s filled with the scent of aquamarine waters and palm trees, the harmonies of steel drums, then just as quickly it was back to cheese pizza and the crackling of the deep fryer. “ ’Sup?” Log called out. Most guys at Danvers High didn’t talk to Girl Cory. From what we could glean of teen-boy-dom it seemed most teen boys only have a finite amount of confidence, and they couldn’t afford to go blowing it willy-nilly on a hopeless case like Girl Cory. It was plain to see she was out of everyone’s league. Most people accepted this. It was pure science, like the apple falling from the tree. Girls like Girl Cory didn’t date regular human boys. Historically, since the invention of written records in the girls’ third-floor bathroom concerning who was banging whom, Girl Cory had never dated anyone at Danvers High. Mostly she left in her wake a trail of names from the local private-school universe, places like the Prep, Pingree, even some faraway boy at Deerfield. Log’s “ ’Sup?” was still hanging in the air. Only he among his brethren had confidence to burn. Little did he know but “ ’Sup?” was an excellent question, one we’d been secretly wondering all our lives. Yeah, Girl Cory, what’s up? As she stood at the counter, Girl Cory nodded at Log but didn’t say a word or even take off her Ray-Bans. “And what does your soon-to-be captain have to say about you hosers going to States?” whispered Brian Robinson in a small voice, only looking at Girl Cory indirectly via a shiny plaque mounted on the wall, as if she were a Medusa with the power to transform flesh to stone. “Which is it?” he said. “You guys going to States, or 2-8 again?” “For your information, we haven’t voted for captain yet,” said Jen. Her Claw gave him the stink eye. Rocco’s adult son Vinny slammed her order down on the counter. Ceremoniously, she rose to retrieve her Diet Coke and two slices of Hawaiian. She noticed Log Winters was still staring at Girl Cory. “Take a picture, my friend,” she said, bending over and whispering in Log’s ear. “It’ll last longer.” Then she raised her voice so that all of Rocco’s could partake in the annunciation. “Besides, Cory already has a boyfriend.” “Who’s that?” said Log. “Nobody you’d know,” Jen projected. “He sent her flowers today. Isn’t that right, Cory?” Girl Cory turned and flashed Jen a look that simultaneously said both shut up and keep talking. She was an enigma like that. Honestly, none of us really knew her. Even now that we were all part of the sisterhood of the blue sweat sock, it was like she had constructed a wall to keep us out, a sunroom off the kitchen where she could sit and drink her Earl Grey in peace while the rest of us crowded around a plate of stale bagels in the breakfast nook. Girl Cory pulled a wad of napkins from the dispenser and went over to where Little Smitty was sitting with Mel. What’s up, Girl Cory? All season long, the rest of us standing around wondering, Girl Cory. What. Is. Up? And then one day we’d take a big juicy bite of the apple from the Tree of Knowledge, and to our everlasting sorrow, we’d find out. “Philip” made his first appearance during the ’88 season shortly after Girl Cory passed her driver’s test. It was late October, one of those autumn days when the afternoon sky prematurely takes on a hazy shade of winter. We were just off the school bus after returning from a massacre in Gloucester, 4-0. Truthfully, the score didn’t accurately reflect the gutting we’d endured at the hands of the Gloucester Fishermen. The two senior co-captains, Gina Packer and Mary Ellen Sommers, had gotten into a fight during the coin toss over whether to pick heads or tails. At one point, Gina reached over and ran her finger through the blue face paint where Mary Ellen had spackled the letters DHS on her cheek. We winced. It was like watching someone ruin a beautifully frosted cake. When we finally arrived back at Danvers High, Julie Kaling stopped reciting that part of the Nicene Creed about God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, her crucifix glinting in the dark of the bus. To be honest, after the kind of outing it had been, some of us found her religious yammering weirdly comforting. We’d grabbed our stuff from the locker room and headed out to wait for our moms to come get us or to bum rides with the seniors who lived in our neighborhoods. Girl Cory had hit the two-fecta, having recently passed her driver’s test and been given her own wheels to boot. Her brand-new white Fiero was parked in the student lot. The Fiero had been purchased weeks before her driving test and was just sitting around in her multi-car garage collecting dust. Driving was still a novelty to her, the monogrammed fingerless gloves still fun to slip on. That day she was giving Abby Putnam a ride home. It was Abby who pointed out the mint-green envelope stuck under the windshield wipers. Girl Cory peeled the envelope off the wet glass and held it between her fingers like a dead roach. “This is a wicked bummer,” she said. “Can you get ticketed here?” Abby shook her head. She watched as her friend tore open the soggy envelope. Girl Cory’s face betrayed nothing. If anything, she looked a little more bloodless. “Lemme see,” said Abby. She took the slip of paper in her hands and stared for a long time at the blurred writing, the washed-out words as if painted in watercolor. Roses are Red— Your Fiero—it’s White— With seating for two. Don’t! Put up a fight—take me with you! The next day before practice we showed the letter around. Heather Houston performed a close reading on it worthy of a 5 on the AP English test. She commented on the juvenile use of the Dickinsonian em dash, the strange imperatives, the elisions, the contradictory tone of both fight and flight. “Whoever wrote this is not playing with a full deck,” she concluded, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “It doesn’t even make sense. Like this part. ‘Don’t!’ Don’t what? Use your words, people!” She was practically spitting she was so worked up about it. Poor Heather Houston took weak syntactical choices as a personal affront. Julie Kaling patted her comfortingly on the back. “I dunno, I think it’s sweet,” said Little Smitty softly. This was back in the days before Emilio and the blue tube sock, back when Little Smitty ate all the spinach on her plate happily with a big smile as though it were cotton candy. “What I will say,” said Heather, offering a second conclusion about the note, “is Philip Larkin he is not.” Becca Bjelica looked at AJ Johnson and silently mouthed, Philip who? We were all thinking the same thing. Nobody rolled their eyes at her. How were we supposed to know some curmudgeonly British poet, even one who’d written: They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. And thus “Philip” was born. That first year “Philip” mostly left little things lying around in plain sight, like a cat who brings its owner dead robins. A tube of Chanel lipstick without the actual lipstick in it. A box of chocolates, but instead of sweets slotted in each compartment, there were rocks. Girl Cory took it all in stride. We didn’t tell anyone in the adult world because what was there to say? Some poor slob had the hots for a girl so beautiful she should have been in a music video, and he left her crazy presents? Back then the word “stalker” wasn’t really part of anyone’s vocabulary. Fatal Attraction had come out the year before, but that was just stuff that happened to sexy creeps like Michael Douglas, who banged complete strangers and mostly had it coming. And so Girl Cory learned to live with it. And so we learned to live vicariously through her. In time, we began to look forward to “Philip’s” offerings. They made us feel like maybe somewhere down the road, somebody, anybody, might possibly want us. Even the time he dropped a note in her schoolbag that said, “I hate you, you stupid peckerhead,” and signed it “Much l♥ve.” We were a bunch of mostly inexperienced teen girls. We thought that’s what true romance was supposed to look like. A boy telling a girl she was a stupid peckerhead, but she was his stupid peckerhead. Lord, make us worthy, we prayed. God from God, Light from Light, Boyfriend from Boy Who Considers Us a Peckerhead. It seemed like the thing to ask for. None of us ever thought to pray for a better caliber of boy.

More on this book and author:

Learn more about We Ride Upon Sticks by Quan Barry

Browse other books by Quan Barry including her four poetry collections published in the Pitt Poetry Series

Read the full text of Philip Larkin's "This Be the Verse" at the Poetry Foundation

Peruse other poems, audio recordings, and broadsides in the Knopf poem-a-day series 

To share the poem-a-day experience with friends, pass along this link.

[yawmanzo]

Yaws Personal Reflection on Touka Kirishima

I'd like to start of with this quote by Touka in the novels. 

“What the hell do you know? It's all because I can't eat, because I could become a target at any time, all because I'm a ghoul! No matter how much I try, there's a wall I can never jump over, and there's happiness I can never have. But I'm still hanging on to life. Despite it all”

Followed by this from part 1.  

And of course this from Yomo.

As you can see there’s a pattern, and if I wanted to I could indulge you with a fuckton more Touka quotes/panels to further exemplify these, but I digress because I ramble too much and words alone aren’t enough to truly encapsulate everything in its entirety😒.

Alrighty then, let’s get this long rambling journey started! I dub thee:

“Strength in weakness and Weakness in strength”

What makes Touka such an interesting character for me in terms of her writing is that there’s a lot of nuances to her that make her so fascinating to read. Because of these elements, I feel as though leads to a general misconception/misunderstanding of her character in favor of either completely overlooking or simply dismissing them and marking them as purely simplistic and well… not important/uninteresting. I for one believe that there lies a profound complex simplicity and simple complexity of sorts to a lot of these nuances that can be very easy to miss, but are of crucial note to consider, most especially the subtleties to her growth in :re alongside many important thematic elements of the story, other characters and herself.

Adjacent with this is her own personality, decisiveness , selflessness and immense sheer mental fortitude in the face of adversity; living while losing things, moving forward with the little they have, in the hopes of gaining as little or as much as they can towards a peaceful world where such a thing is virtually taboo for ghouls and humans trapped in the bird cage.

Additionally is her journey being the opposite to Kaneki, wherein he became more ghoul like than human in pursuit of strength (since human is normally denoted as weak). Meanwhile Touka underwent an opposite journey in which she became more human like than ghoul, and there’s a fine dichotomy/conflict for balance between the two that we see with the tribulations faced in the story. In other words strength in weakness (Ghoul- human) and weakness in strength (Human-ghoul) and the various connotations. 

Moreover is the conflict she herself feels as a ghoul in viewing herself as a monster, thus wanting to be more human, 

even when others view her in a different light in conjunction with the earlier harsh actions she would make for the sake of her survival and of others.

We even see how she saves Kaneki numerous times when she didn't really have any obligation to do so in the beginning after considering his own plight in the world as a half ghoul with no place to belong to via Yoshimuras explanation. It’s due to her caring nature that on the surface comes off as very “hard” due to the exterior she puts up as a result of the life she’s lived.

Special mention to when he almost ate Hide after fighting Nishki in his starving state and her stepping in, 

thus saving the both of them, something that made Hide very grateful towards her for. (And Hide being hype wing man since chapter 1)

And although her threatening to kill Hide and Kimi in relation to their human relations with Kaneki and Nishki comes across as very cruel, its also due to the volatile position that they have in human society as ghouls for security and safety. 

For all intents of purposes, their safety takes preference, and we see how this does change in her being able to trust them with their secret, because it’s a risky one that could lead to them losing everything. 

Which as we know, that level of trust didn't exactly work out too well for her and Ayato as little kids that forced them to fend for themselves in the world.

There are several instances where she does come across as real vicious and as Kaneki says “scary”, but also very caring in her own way during many stages of part 1 when he needed someone the most in the world, which is something he remains eternally grateful to her for in his life. She provided that foundation for him in the ghoul world. 

As Uta mentions, she's continuously walking a very tight rope between both worlds and there's a constant struggle faced with everything that she deals with in which she simply cannot afford even the tiniest of slips.

What Touka has wanted from the beginning is a chance at a normal peaceful life, away from the violent lifestyle she was forced into as a ghoul, and all the battles and killings she has had to partake in.

Her envy for the life that humans live, her hatred for herself in being a ghoul yet longing for peace and understanding between both species are ones that continuously drive her character forward. ([x]- @encase great explanation of this!)

It’s always been the characters of a set case between her and Kaneki as stated earlier. Kaneki a former human was forced into the ghoul world yet was already living a violent and miserable human lifestyle. While Touka lived a harsh ghoul life which initially had somewhat of a human like upbringing with Arata and Ayato, before that life was lost. There's also her curiosity in wanting to learn more and be a part of the human world. (@wishes-upon-dreams has lots of good novel shots!)

These are two symbolic thematic attributes of Tokyo Ghoul between these two alone, and all the complications that come with it.

Another worthy line from her in the novels is wherein she and Kaneki make human food for Touka to give to her friend Yoriko after a misunderstanding they had. 

Touka remarks on Kaneki attempting to taste the food whilst being aware that he's no longer a full human anymore. Kaneki admits that in the moment that fact was lost on him due to how the food looked and of course him wistfully remembering being able to eat and taste all these types of foods. She comments on which scenario is worse between the two: one who's lost an ability, or one who never had the ability to begin with. 

“Who has it worse- someone who was never equipped with a function, or someone who had it and lost it?”

AKA Kaneki losing his ability to eat human food, and Touka never having the ability to eat human food. 

Well at least her pregnancy later on gave that nice little cake development parallel.

So... a lot tend to dismiss her as too weak or bland of a character, or how her relationship with Kaneki stripped away her own “independent” character. In other words, her role of importance got reduced. Which… yeah there were times that her appearances got sidelined and so forth in us not seeing her as much. But I'll mention that briefly later with regards to Ishidas writing style with some of his characters.

Firstly, with the “independence” part… a characters relations they have with others doesn’t make them weak that goes concurrently with their very own distinct development. (obviously depending on the circumstances mind you and how its established)

In fact the narrative in TG shows how taking things up solely alone leads to more suffering and increased burden that ultimately comes crashing down towards said character without the bonds they form with others. (Eg Kanekis main flaw that Touka opposes with selfish V selfless that she explicitly exposes him for in part 1 with the bridge scene) Note that there are semblances that both invoke and affect each with in a complementary/similar yet opposing way that I've talked about before in the Touken reflection.

Kaneki takes everyone's burdens by himself in order to protect them, but he's not really the selfless martyr he thinks he is. They never asked for his protection, in fact they want to help and be with him, but he's terrified of losing them, thus opting to shoulder all their burdens. He pushed them away and avoided them in order to protect them, AKA Hide and Touka. In doing so it hurts both sides immensely in not being able to really save the other.

Touka can not only see a bit of Arata and Ayato (soldier of Aogiri) in Kaneki with regards to the whole pursuit of power and strength by waging war and advancing violence to protect, but also a bit of herself in some her own actions done to protect those she cares about that they themselves did not ask for. She hits the nail right on the coffin with him because she knows how he is, because she has that affect on him.

This is seen in the novels to an extent with her fighting off students that made fun of Yoriko. Yoriko mentioned that she didn't want Touka to do that for her even though it hurt her. The situation simply just made her more sad, along with Yorikos own lack of self worth in feeling like she was a burden to Touka.

When Touka partakes in her revenge against Mado and the doves for killing Ryouko in order to protect Hinami 

a similar thing happens (which wasn't all violence as seen by her trying to give misinformation to the CCG and stir attention away from them). 

Hinami laments that she never wanted revenge, but was rather just sad. In both instances Touka doesn't understand why her protecting them through those means was wrong at first, but we see how it affects her in each case with regards to the feelings of those she cares about.

Touka mentions Ayatos reluctance in not wanting to learn more about human society and wanting to safely protect him when it's the same human society that led to their parents demise and one that is systematically established to kill them . After all, humans are just food to them as ghouls, and ghouls are monsters to them right?

With these genuinely selfless actions and ideals, she realized how they pushed the people she cared about. Actually it's quite sad how Touka is always getting abandoned by those she cares about in her life, such as Hikari,Arata,Ayato,Kaneki, Hinami, Yoshimura, Irimi, Koma, Yoriko etc etc. Obviously each of these throughout her life have different factors to them through her own actions and those of others that led to being left alone and or tragically losing them.

Along with this is generally her struggle in communicating/expressing her true feelings towards others through words alone which can often lead to ironic misunderstandings in the moment that she regrets many times.  

(which is a trait she shares with Yomo and Ayato).  

“I'm really bad at sorting out my feelings, and although I try to put up a good front, I'm incredibly immature, and I hate that about myself”-Touka

Man the novels really are such gems with extra insight to her character. In essence you can show how she does have good intentions. She really doesn't want to lose more of her loved ones and be alone, unless it involves letting go in certain situations and considerations. 

I’m not necessarily justifying her relapse in actions here, but you can see just how pissed off she got with Kanekis tragic heroism vendetta

,that and well the man straight up lied about not leaving her alone. (thanks Hide for the chin tip). 

Yes Kaneki does genuinely want to “protect” his loved ones, 

but he's doing it all wrong in never even considering their own feelings in regard to his whole quest and them being unable to help him, hence being selfish and not wanting to be alone himself. As we see, it’s something he eventually realizes due to Touka’s effect on him. 

(which is another thing that both share, fear of being alone that they express differently yet similarly) Cool how the whole rabbit motif is used to exemplify this too, since they can die from loneliness due to the strong relationship bonds they form.

Doing everything alone is a constant no no in TG. Cough Kenny boy, rely on your loved ones, they love you. Though we see how and why he and many others in the story become that way with the whole “you're weak and lack of ability” perception for power and strength. It’s very understandable for many of these characters and it’s quite profound with the many layers to it aside from just the physical that at times come across as very contradictory. “Weakness in strength and strength in weakness”

Tangent, but this also goes in conjunction with Uries development in overcoming that very same flaw he had himself to where he realized it faster than Kaneki did.  

And of course the whole point of the dragon arc to show that people, in other words everyone (ghouls and humans) HAVING to rely on each other to combat a common threat and achieve coexistence when needed to even with the flawed prejudiced nature of the human world towards ghoul kind. 

Anyways, back to Touka chan.

I really do not believe Touka to be a “weak” character. In fact she’s very strong in her own way since there’s many different types of “strength” and complexities to many of these characters. One who’s strength does not solely rely on her physical abilities or quick thinking/hard work (I mean hell she caught up to years of school at a late age almost gearing up to go to Kamii university which is for proper smart students whilst working at Ainteku). And of course her curiosity on learning more about the world with regards to humans and ghouls that she later instilled in a rather practical sentimental manner as an “advisory” figure.

Ya’ll remember when she was basically hood AF in the streets with that underground ghoul dialect?

By the way holy hell she can speak two languages, that's pretty dope. Except for those skills in Japanese literature... lol that’s just a Rip😂

Point being there are many different testaments of complexity and strength she possess as her own character away from just “the physical”.

Growth

Touka’s character matures and grows a lot in :re becoming more passive, cool headed and wiser as the manager of :re. Like when I first read :re bruh, I was always like “woah this is Touka now? Damn she's changed so much” (and got more thicc)  

even with some of her distinct traits still being there… Like her blunt and direct 0 fucks teasing sass, I love me some sass. She definitely lived up to Aintekus legacy and then some with Yoshimuras influence.

She valued the importance of peacekeeping as manager of :re, and its implied that her, Yomo and Nishki performed those roles, similar to how Yoshimura did with the bits of informants they had from others as well. 

She became not just more empathetic but generally more sympathetic to an extent, understanding and kind towards others most especially those that wronged her, those she cares about and those she herself has hurt in the past.  We see this time and time again. 

Few examples include her giving Shinohara the flowers 

tying into her forgiveness arc with Arata, the violent CCG perpetual cycle in general, and also got tied in with Juuzou

which got referenced as a point of contention for their characters during their encounter underground.

We see this with Shuu and her explanation for why cafe :re exists as an homage to Ainteku for humans and for ghouls to feel safe in (the spiritual home of coexistence) , as well as a place for Kaneki to return home to, as Yoshimura once wished for with Eto.

Touka prioritizes his well being and happiness over hers, even with the flawed situation wherein they both care about Kaneki in their own way and have differing viewpoints.

Shuu admits to Touka that she’s right in him being an egotist, alongside seeing her point of view when he fights Haise. 

Touka also admits that she understands where Shuu is coming from, because she does desire for Kaneki to be with them.

Both parties raise valid points in their own way since they do genuinely care, however the difference in intent further shows that selfless nature of Touka in waiting for Kaneki to come back when HE needs to, not by forcing him when Haise had the whole Haise/Kaneki memory personality conflict that he needed to resolve himself that we see in the Rosewald and Cochlea arcs.

It’s also interesting to note how Kaneki in part 1 distanced himself to protect her from the ghoul world whilst being aware that she as a ghoul can never truly live with just being solely in the human world and the dangers that it possesses in it’s own right towards ghouls.

In :re she means for him not be brought back into the ghoul world due to his suffering in it for so long in order to protect his well being and happiness. 

Yet the human world he lives in the CCG is also categorized by violence, suffering and conflict that Haise/Kaneki gets further thrown into. Plus we see how Shuu himself feels about that world due to what happened with his own family in their battle against CCG and Kaneki/Haise being a ghoul investigator. Both cases show how genuine and flawed these motives are, yet also painting the feelings they have in caring for the other in their own distinct ways that's not as straightforward black and white. “Selfish V Selfless”

She forgives her brother Ayato because she understood him to an extent with his faults (not that she ever harbored hatred for him in the first place because she loves him). 

Touka sees why he did the things he did because. He wanted to become stronger in Aogiri and protect her, even though he hurt her, as Kaneki exposed to him in their fight. Cue 103 god damn bones.

“Does it hurt? I think Touka chan experienced more pain than that”- Kaneki

Yeah nah... That’s just tough😂 Later on we see how Ayato took this to heart by taking on the Black Rabbit persona in order to lure CCG investigators away from Touka, thus clearing her tracks.

With this she goes to assure him with sincerity in directing him in the right path moving forward despite everything, thus mending their complicated sibling relationship in their own Tsundere Kirishima way.

She gives Kaneki his will to live through her loyal love, influence and support spanning years and years of waiting with the undying faith she possesses towards those she cares about and to him. Not that she had to herself anyway since Kaneki always held her on such a high level of importance in his life throughout the whole story with ALL his personalities and their whole evolutionary dynamic as a whole.

 That's another thing about her, that fierce faith is truly special despite the instances it isn’t rewarded.

 I mean when this man was on the verge of losing everything and giving in on his plan to die in style, the thought of her and everyone else dying kept him going along with the Hide inner monologue during the Arima fight. 

“It may not be stylish, but live”

She allows Goat and the lost ghouls (including the Aogiri children) to use cafe :re as their safety hideout away from CCG, that has CCG members themselves (AKA 0 squad). Once again reinforcing that spiritual home of coexistence.

Side note- another cool tidbit is seeing Toukas natural maternal instincts with children, something we saw bits of with Hinami and Ayato in part 1 as well as the novels. 

Her taking care of the ghoul children with Hinami and reading to them were always super adorable to see in also foreshadowing her as a mother and just generally a very kind caring person which she's always been at heart.

Next big demonstration of her growth we see is the convo with Amon in which they both come to a mutual understanding of the circumstances that forced their actions in such a cruel world of kill or be killed.

alongside her offering advice to him about going to see Akira in relation to her feelings about Kaneki.

Then there’s the Akira convo with Hinami: which remains one of my favorites indications of how much she’s developed from part 1 (also because of how similar Touka and Akira are in many ways... I love em). Chapter 120 was one of the first major steps towards seeing how these characters can break the human/ghoul violent perpetual cycle with general empathy and even sympathy to an extent as difficult as it may be. To instill hope into their world, where all they knew was hopeless continuous bloodshed.

Being able to confront Akira directly with what happened, not being focused on continuing the cycle of revenge.

Going on to showcase some semblance of being able to relate with her own experiences and of their fathers in painting the cruel intricate nature of both sides in regards to the actions they take- be it survival, revenge, power to protect, or all the above. Thus slowly shifting Akira’s ingrained beliefs and perspective to it’s core.

It's interesting how Ishida mentioned inspiration from a war documentary applied in the reconciliation between Akira and Hinami , and Touka was the one that initiated that through her development and teachings from others and her own life experiences. 

(Shout to Sen for the translations! @kenkamishiro)

Mind you this was a VERY complicated and tough situation wherein those wounds aren’t somehow magically healed between them, but at the very least the continuous cycle of vengeance was subverted in order to move forward.

She's often seen as a very forgiving person towards others in :re, too forgiving at times actually, which is one of her biggest strengths and weaknesses. Or that she doesn't “fight hard” enough and let's go too easily.  But one can also see why she's like that, mainly due to the priorities she sets and well… she ain't got time to dwell on things like revenge, war and violence anymore even if it's completely warranted and justified. She's seen and experienced first hand what that does to herself and others time and time again. She knows the script and prioritizes moving forward away from that, even if it hurts her and them having to constantly pick and choose in the process.  

As long as a situation of conflict can be resolved in any way, they'll continue to live and survive in the world. Mental fortitude is a big strength of hers when it comes to pressing forward in the face of adversity.

It’s even more notable to notice this development when looking back at the violent, angsty and tragic harsh life she lived as a ghoul with Ayato from childhood towards their teens years. After all it's a kill or be killed world, one where the strong take from the weak, and the weak are the ones that perish.

That and how viciously she lashed out at others, herself and the world through violence and rage due to that bloody ghoul lifestyle. The hard harsh exterior, soft kind interior continuously interchanged, intertwined and crossed several thresholds.

Highkey nice heavy parallel to Hikari and Arata though. As Yomo mentioned, Hikari used to be quite savage back when she was younger until she calmed down later on in life with her family, and where Arata was a really kind pacifist type ghoul, her death led to him later becoming a “monster” out of revenge that resulting in his downfall. In many ways also applying to both Touka and Kaneki with their own unique divergences. And of course the parallels between Ayato and Yomo in regards to their respective pursuits for strength and revenge. 

“The world is power, let’s use power to decide who’s superior. Careless idiot. You are weak. So you lose. Just like father.”- Ayato

“Who is the strongest? I fucking am”- Kaneki

“...I want to become strong”- Yomo

“I also need to get stronger”- Touka

“Strength in weakness and weakness in strength”

“Strength” and “power” as a whole is extremely intricate, with all the different types of it in its many variations/forms that come with their own respective advantages and disadvantages.

So many of these different attributes and aspects we see to be something that many characters in the story come to admire from Touka as a person, a ghoul , sister, friend, wife and manager of :re/ fellow leader of GOAT along with Kaneki and right hand man Shuu.

Sure Ishida could have definitely utilized and actually showcased more scenes with her doing things in which we could see a lot of this development/moments onscreen, especially the first half of :re (as a matter of fact I’d be on the first train to destination MORE TOUKA STUFF AND WRITING EMPHASIS PLEASE)

But one can also deduce the salient impact of her smaller scale actions/motivations that attribute to the plot, many characters and the very essence of the story thematically and even that of her character. A phrase I always use to describe that belief is “Yo Touka is doing bits” which basically means how those moments may seem really minuscule at first, but are actually very meaningful.

This also includes her evolving personality from part 1 as a consequence of the melancholic and painful stoic adverse nature of the world that genuinely did affect her for many years on end. There’s also kind of parallel with her really. Second half of part 1 Touka scenes weren’t as much in favor of Kaneki and other characters development, but they were very impactful in their own moments, in contrast to the first half of :re with a similar sentiment.

Plus I mean well, one can see how much Ishida struggled with writing his main cast of characters in :re with part 1 characters and side characters with some getting more development/ specific writing priority over others in different fashions alongside MANY plot points and concepts. That and yes several plot points and character interactions with her did get dropped in the story/didn't get as much development on screen as they should have, which mind you isn't just exclusive to her character alone like in the case of several others. One little missed opportunity is the Yoriko reunion that didn't happen on screen which was really unfortunate as that would have been so emotional to see for them both, (and me since I kept waiting for it)

But at least she saw her wedding with Bujin to make sure she was ok 

and them reuniting offscreen during the end time skip was good. Ichika loving aunty Yorikos bread and Mucchans apples is a blessing, so thank goodness for that. 

And yes there's a lot of other stuff that could be mentioned as well that would have been great to see onscreen, but eh what can you do.

While many favor her character in part 1, which is fair because my god she was fire AF🔥

it’s also important to notice all the subtle factors that led to her personality and growth shifting the way it did from a teenager to young adult whilst still maintaining her distinct “Touka” traits (then again I love her in everything so😅). That’s the whole point of it, to show how people change in life, what would be the point if she remained the exact same as part 1 in terms of writing?

Again, different strokes for different folks, but I personally appreciate both depictions and find them very fascinating in their own rights especially with their flaws that continuously kept me glued to her character even with the discrepancies in screen time.

In other words, I find her journey very interesting to read and interpret, particularly since there’s a lot of writing cues to her in favor of being designated in deciphering rather than explicitly stated in all lines of text and dialogue. Perhaps that’s the main issue with some aside from the whole her not being shown as much? The fact that a lot of the writing is nuanced in several ways and not as right in your face with text panels/ inner monologues and inner character thoughts emphasized and fleshed out? Either way, those visual cues/elements of show don’t tell and at times “less equals more” being implemented in the story are ones that always make me so passionate about her character. To ascertain her thoughts, feelings, actions and motivations  when the narrative doesn’t state it as right in your face but rather deduced through the already established notions and elements that are set/keep getting set.

I have no idea if I’m making sense😑

But yeah that’s how I see it. Like something as simple as her just not saying anything, or words being omitted in favor of emphasis being placed on subtle visual representation in a panel just makes me want to always see more of her and decipher her thoughts without her even having to state all of them outwardly. This conveyance without the need of many words (which don’t get me wrong would be greatly appreciated in many instances!) doesn’t really hinder her as boring to me, rather very intriguing, but again each to their own you know?

Continuing on her desire to be with those she loves and not be alone, in other words to gain as much as she can with the little available while losing things. She told Ayato the same sentiment which can ESPECIALLY be meant for Kaneki too.

“Rely on others for a change”

An aspect of her strength stems from her ability and strong personality in which she carries herself when all the odds are against her, and when she herself is very limited to what she can achieve by herself alone in the world, yet continues to fight either way. In other words… she’s realistic in seeing the world as it is with all ones flawed strengths and weaknesses in the face of the tribulations they face and the choices they must make for better or for worse, positive and negative. It also shows the priorities she places in fighting reactively, in other words when she HAS to or in regards to those she cares about where she would rather avoid using violence to solve conflicts in :re unless pressed to do so in response to something or when pressed.

Eg. Saving Shuu from CCG investigators that were on his ass. 

The Kirishima family and Banjou squad Cochlea fights to save Hinami thanks to Kaneki’s aid.

 Versus the Arima squad members 

Sneaky sister save as mask 33.

and versus Arima himself (which honestly that's just a Rip for the whole family). 

Being aided by Eto to push on forwards.

Fighting off Special class Kyoko Aura, Mougan and other CCG members with the other ghouls namely Yomo, Banjou, his squad and Hinami when they themselves were already fatigued. And of course protecting Ayato

showcasing her emerging two wings with that based Hikari Yomo lightning ⚡⚡ 

Later combining forces with Kaneki and 0 squad to escape.

Then there's her fight against Mutsuki that endangered not just her and Kanekis lives, but led to the destruction of :re. The whole shit underground wherein they got attacked whilst already starved and with little resources, forcing retaliation to survive. 

And of course operation save Kenny and Tokyo with dragon. (Title drop)

That doesn’t necessarily make her “weak”, or one who doesn't do much fighting because she's a damsel, particularly when she’s PREGNANT from 128 to the 170s. She fights only when pushed to do so.

Again in 123-124 she held her own against Mutsuki (who’s very strong) when her cafe got destroyed by the oggai and kept her cool, suppressing her emotions when taunted with Yorikos fake “fate” in an attempt to get her all triggered (once more showing her development in :re as part 1 Touka would have definitely lashed out in justified rage)

We see she's clearly hurt by this in 124 despite her trying desperately to subvert that fact and not showcase that much emotion when Kaneki asks if she's ok. She's obviously not as another home/dream of hers got crushed, and its conveyed so effectively yet subdued without her even saying much via her vulnerable posture and her switching the subject to Hide in order to deal with her own feelings about Yoriko, but also that of how Kaneki felt about both Hide and Touka in this painful situation.

Both distanced themselves from their friends in order to protect them, yet yearned desperately to see them. Kaneki did the same with Touka and Hide, Touka did the same with Yoriko and Haise/Kaneki, and as was revealed via talking about Hide- was something he couldn't do anything about. Because if he thought about it, he'd just be consumed by the desire to see them again. Cue Akon “Lonely, I'm mister lonely” and them rooting like rabbits.

You can see how without even saying anything through her facial expressions how Touka feels,

She’s able to connect everything in regards to how they mutually feel the same about this with their friends and their own feelings for each other. Both were terrified of the other dying. 

Which of course led to them finally being able to close that gap of loneliness and pain in which they made love and consummated their relationship. 

Despite all the fuckery of the world around them, all the war that they were in, for just one moment they were finally able to experience happiness in the darkness that both had craved for so long with each other, and it speaks volumes to one of the most important and emotionally resonate symbolic messages of the series. Breaking the barrier between both worlds.

Ghoul-Human

Hell speaking about the unplanned pregnancy, let’s go back to the human esc journey. The narrative has explicitly explained the dangers of human food consumption for ghouls since the very beginning.

In her fight with Ayato, it’s clear how this type of lifestyle has considerably weakened her full ghoul potential in reference to her one Ukaku wing 

and lack of that cold ghoul intensity she used to have as Shuu states.

As mentioned before, Ayato finds her wanting to be part of human society (that denotes weakness) to be idiotic and dangerous due to what happened with their parents and Arata’s upbringing.

Leading his pursuit for ghoul strength and hatred towards humans in Aogiri (which does change through his own development later on)

Yomo also criticized this during their training via her eating Yorikos food to fit in so much at school (novels and part 1) 

and the Itori talk to Kaneki about the failures of ghoul-human hybrids which also gets referenced later with the flawed half humans.  

Later we see Touka ask Kaneki about how Eto was kept alive with Yoshimura a ghoul father and Ukina a human mother. The difference of course is the  reverse in the situation for a ghoul mother.

And of course Mutsuki’s taunting during their second big fight where Touka was at a clear disadvantage.

SHE KNOWS human food is bad for her body due to its weakening effect. It's been a reoccurring thing for her ever since her upbringing with Arata and what influenced her curiosity in wanting to understand humans and the world they live in. Simultaneously it’s almost like she herself is fighting against that known fact and still trying desperately to fit into some kind of normal human esc style of life as a ghoul when she knows she realistically can't.

To be able to enjoy things like cake, burgers and so forth when her ghoul body prohibits this. After all as ghouls they have no choice but to eat humans. Kaneki himself is even baffled by the lengths she would go just to uphold Yorikos feelings over her own. I mean she could easily just lie and not eat the food at all right? 

And yet she still goes the extra mile to not only protect Yorikos feelings whilst endangering herself because she cares so much, but also fight against the notion of her being a ghoul to an almost foolish extent.

It’s why the whole “don’t die, push through me, live” as she’s forcing herself to eat human food to try save her unborn child Ichika is so powerful in contrast to the strong will by Ukina (a human) who actually can digest and cannibalize human meat for her hybrid child Eto. 

For a ghoul to eat human food, is essentially like hell, and if she didn't, her body would naturally consume the foetus, furthermore adding to the perception of her being a monster by taking her own child's life. Her chance at becoming a mother and starting a family would be lost. That's why she’s willing to do anything to give her child even the faintest 1% chance of survival, regardless of how it may hurt and weaken her or how slim the possibilities of success are. [x- great commentary by @mamasaiko and @lilacflamesss !)

That’s why her becoming pregnant didn’t hinder her character to me, it restricted her full potential absolutely, but it also presented the opportunity to put her into extremely constrained dangerous scenarios wherein her immense fortitude and willpower would be tested to its limits with regards to her ability to always make choices, for better or for worse. Again it’s that strength we see numerous characters admire from her.  The hybrid pregnancy is something that should be a very positive thing and very well is as with the whole hope and symbolic aspect of the series for some semblance of light in the darkness. 

It presented the main core message of coexistence in breaking away from the tragic cycle that several characters looked towards, yet it was also one due to situation/wrong timing  that added more struggles and tribulations to be faced. THAT’S THE CONFLICTING DILEMMA that was so damn enthralling and stressful AF to bear witness to!

Her being able to make tough choices time and time again whether she likes them or not. The underground alone had her being forced to lead the ghouls (including children) out of danger and leave her loved ones in order to protect herself, her unborn child and the lives of those ghouls. From Yomo, 

to 0 squad, 

to Hinami all in quick succession… SHE DOESN’T WANT to leave her loved ones, she hates doing that with them having to protect her and being abandoned. But in the situation it’s something she HAS to do by trusting them with that faith. In fact we see in her situation with Hinami how desperately she tries to aid her even with her weakened condition by getting all pissed off. 

It was only when Hinami told her to go protect the children did she finally make that choice.

We don't even see her clouded facial expression or her thoughts, their blocked, which further adds the front she's trying so hard to put in order to remain strong and keep going even though we know it's absolutely killing her inside. She tries to reach out Hinami, but she knows she can't waste more time in hesitating with her decision given the situation, because if she did… well they'd all get fucked.

It's also quite poignant to note the arcs of both here. Hinami herself is still by all means a child of sorts, or rather a young adult protecting her older sister figure, as Touka did for her in part 1 and the novels. 

Hinami's character development is one for strength and self worth, and it was depicted very beautifully yet sad with her monologue about her own perceived weakness she expressed to Ayato and how she viewed Touka and Kaneki in being a burden to them, hence seeking strength by joining Aogiri.

Hinami was able to fight side by side with Touka in her weakened condition, both watching each others backs.

Which is something that makes Touka proud in how much Hinami has grown, yet it also adds to the whole “living while losing things” in that situation in trusting her strength against such volatile odds in order to press forwards with her own survival, that of her unborn child and that of the other helpless ghouls when she hates doing so but has to do so.�� Like Ryouko did for Hinami. 

Special mention is Hinamis admiration for her stemming all the way from the beginning “strong, delicate, beautiful”. You did wonderfully in becoming all that and more with your development too Hina👏

When she sees Yorikos letter, SHE WANTS TO SAVE HER and you can see how shocked and pained she is her just by her facial expression

but given Goats very volatile position and Kaneki “dying” at the time, she simply can’t as it would jeopardize their whole organization, and thus she chooses her family, Kaneki and their child when Kaneki himself struggles with his own indecisiveness that could have truly been a trap to lure them into action not based on fortified assurance.

This is another instance Kaneki greatly admires in contrast to his flaw in being indecisive and choosing.

The circumstance itself places this cruel obligation on her to make those choices, but she makes them either way because she has to, otherwise as we’ve seen in TG, failure in making a choice leads to more tragedy. Shit even MAKING choice or choosing not to MAKE a choice can still very well result in that. She COULD have very well elected to save Yoriko, similar to how they went to save Hinami in cochlea (with Ayato, Yomo and Banjou squad) or save Kaneki when he get got captured by Aogiri 

in contrast to how she elected to save Kaneki in the dragon arc (joining forces with CCG and the ghouls). These are all separate choices due to different circumstances and considerations that she makes within those emotional situations, and I love the little line in 148 that she says to Nishki. 

“What should I do?”

She contemplates all the factors and elements available in making a choice. Can they with just the ghouls save Kaneki and Tokyo at large? How do they do that in the first place with the limited resources they have? All she’s known is loss, so... should they just carry on living with that for their own survival when Tokyo is in danger? [x]

Like… there's a lot of unspoken suffering that she was going through in that whole arc alone. Her very own husband and father of their child who called her a monster in the beginning,

became one himself in order to protect them and see her again by devouring most of Tokyo consisting of humans, ghouls and children when they were all on the brink… 

That's tough... and really fucked up. But given the pushed situation (that sure could have been subverted prior), a choice had to be made once again in which they'd face the consequences either way.

Whilst I’ve said that a defining trait of hers is that decisiveness and ability to choose, she herself always contemplates her choices and the consequences thereof even when they are purely emotionally driven. Should I do this? Should I do that? What if I had done this? What if I had done that? In fact that’s the thing about TG in general with MANY characters.  As a matter of fact it applies to the whole cast in general really.

The choices they make, and how it’s not always about whether they are “right” or “wrong” but about how they’re made and how one continues pushing forward from said choice. “Forever choosing, forever being chosen”

And of course the dilemma between one's desire for even the tiniest semblance of happiness opposed to the tough predicament they face and all the outcomes that results from it that prohibit such. 

“Why do things have to be like this?”

Her breakdown at the end of part 1 added greatly to that during the Ainteku raid where they lost everything. She wanted to go help everyone, she didn't want to lose them, yet Yomo stopped her because they had to choose not to in order for them to keep on living with Yoshimura, Irimi and Komas sacrifice, otherwise it would have all been for naught. “Live while losing things”

Kaneki chose to go fight in order to aid/protect everyone because he was tired of not being able to do anything anymore. As a result, it led to his subsequent “death” and tragedy (with the exception of buying time for Irima and Koma v Arima) 

In fact he ponders what if he had chosen to stay away and gone with Touka and Yomo. Perhaps he'd have been able to work with them in the new cafe?

Perhaps if Touka and Yomo went to fight with Kaneki they'd make a difference? Perhaps if Kaneki didn't go all alone in 143 of :re the situation may have played out differently in contrast to how Furuta exposed him?

The answer is yes, no, maybe, maybe not. No one knows, and it's easy to continuously contemplate every single possibility and theoretical outcome. All that matters is how they have to make those tough choices and live with them, no matter the cost.

Also the fact that we only rarely see her true vulnerable, insecure and visible emotions other then when she's like... angry or something is another trait I find very interesting. Because when we do, it’s impactful and hits home just how much she tends to internalize within herself. In other words, the front she puts on. Her always suppressing her emotions with that strong mental fortitude speaks volumes of the struggles she continuously undergoes internally and externally. 

That emotional breakdown was just building bruh.

The fact that we don’t have to be told exactly what she’s thinking or how she’s feeling, but are rather shown how she’s trying to hold herself together even with her face either turned away from the reader or her turning her back in several panel illustrations denotes so many melancholic elements to be interpreted within the story.

Another side note- some are actually quite funny and aesthetically appealing to me. She just looks so tired/bored and like... done with everything with those half lidded eyes that convey so much (Idk I just relate heavy AF with that😂) 

Hence always looking for those subtle details in her character that add so many layers. Ooo also the times when we get to see both her eyes (true feelings), that's super cool.

Relying on the strength of others is not weak in wanting to help protect them. I mean nothing is wrong at all in wanting to become stronger by yourself for the sake of others, but going completely solo and shouldering all those burdens with just one's own strength is completely detrimental to the highest degree.

In fact her fighting with that pregnant condition when she shouldn’t have and being able to fend for herself before said condition along with her Ukaku stamina issues, stress, lack of sleep and starving inevitably prohibited her full potential is in itself also inspiring. Like dude wtf she's out here fighting with all those disadvantaged restrictions that endanger her? That's badass. Being faced with the predicament of WHAT TO DO versus WHAT ONE CAN DO with limited means. And yet with all that, she still dug Kaneki from dragon by herself after fending off Mutsuki 

 and the dragon clones 

with the timely aid of Urie, Saiko. Even Mutsuki, the one she fought prior and tried to reach out to peacefully given the dire situation and not their own personal differences.

Symbolically the wife of Kaneki, and children of Haise Sasaki came together to save him in that instance with the foreshadowing of the Qs and dragon.

Touka was key to the dragon arc in general. That was the point of the whole arc, further showing the fruits of her development as well, combining strength with others, both humans and ghouls. All elements needed each other to succeed. There’s a reason Hide went out to look for Touka in the ghoul camp. 

Not to mention how crucially important these two are throughout the narrative in reference to the fool's journey namely the Magician (Hide) and the High Priestess (Touka) to the fool (Kaneki)

“The Magician and High Priestess are absolutely equal in importance and value. Each is necessary for balance” [x]

He himself was extremely vital in gathering all the different sides and information for the pieces to be in place such as Marude, Urie, Kimi with the CCG, recruiting Amon and Akira, and of course Touka with the ghouls. 

Touka leading the ghouls there after being ignited by Shuus emotional fire speech

and all the assurance to combine their strength and efforts with the CCG was a true indication of that. Great stuff by all 3 Aces (Touka, Hide, Shuu) right there. [nice catch! @kanekikenunot]

Touka coming up with the ring idea was of extreme importance, in fact it was the very idea that kick started the whole operation in the first place!

Beforehand was her translating the underground ghoul dialect thanks to Ayatos adventure underground 

in order to form the pieces necessary to ignite the operation by condensing the seemingly impossible search for Kaneki to being more focused and fortified to the point that they could track him down with Shuu and Mirimos influence with the metal detectors.

Worthy note is the perception she emits to Hide in always not being able to save Kaneki and him always saving her. We know she has saved him numerous times physically, emotionally, and mentally and the same with Kaneki to her, but it's important to note how she mentions “this time”. 

It's like despite all the times they've saved each other with all those different aspects, something always caused them to get separated or to face more and more suffering painting all the times as somewhat futile. And this time, given the monster he's become, she means to truly save him at all costs no matter what.

And my god, chapter 160 is one of my favorites due to the parallel with 145 where Kaneki lost control becoming dragon with it having no dialogue whatsoever in favor of pure visual storytelling.

You could just feel the sheer immense strain, pressure, rampant despair and pain of Touka desperately trying to save her husband.

A Silent Scream is what I call these two chapters that I talked about before, wherein the omission of words paints the whole “a picture is worth a thousand words”. 

Her breakdown was so emotionally resonate with how we hardly see her like that. Referencing back to the visuals without having to be shown lines of text or dialogue. Something as simple as her finding Kanekis hand grasping her parents ring (the bond that ties their own marriage together) in pressing forward like a centipede with Touka as his sole motivation and strength, is definitely something that destroys her in which you can just hear the horrifying scream she emits.

Because she's not just reminded of her impending failure with the current situation, but also the tragedy that befell her own parents, and the cycle of revenge she was a part of with Mado  that aided in her ability to empathize with Akira and Amon.  [good eye! @dreamofcentipedes]

It's these little tiny details that are always there, and while sure some may be a stretch in providing more depth/ over reaching, they remain considerations that add so much. For a moment she ponders if the tragic cycle is something they'll never be able to break free from, whether it's something that will always keep them trapped in the birdcage, unable to fly towards a clear blue sky, something she always looks towards in many panel illustrations. [x]

And yet despite it all she never gave up, her faith kept pushing her forwards to continue the mission. And she was able to succeed. Her efforts and choices were not in vain.

Yo... scope this little line here.. “Don't push yourself ok”

Touka… Dude… We don't deserve you honestly. Finna say that after all the fuckery you just went through in pushing yourself... smh

Still out here not resting waiting for your man's to wake up and be ok. 

Top tier I swear...(PLS GET SOME SLEEP) 

Which then shows another instance of that non verbal communication during her embrace with Kaneki. Within that one swift motion and the “thump” sound effect presumably of their hearts beating, she conveyed all she needed to without having to say anything.

Thank goodness she was finally able to rest by the end and chill with Saiko is best Saiko, because honestly… She needed that. 

And although she had to continue waiting (god how long has she had to that ?) for her loved ones to return, 

that fierce faith was fortunately rewarded with Ayato and Kaneki returning in the end.

Like I said, one of the many reasons I admire Toukas strength so much is that it strays away from the typical norm that would usually warrant a narrative tool in making one “weaker” via the ghoul-human journey just for the sake of it or for her to be “helpless”.

“Go, you are not just some onlooker, nor are you powerless. You just have other things to protect right?”-Yomo

And I just… really want to root for her to overcome all the odds that are placed in her and everyone else's paths in whatever way they can. “Strength in weakness, weakness in strength”

It’s not exactly an underdog story classification, but instead to me points out an interesting conflict between ones seemingly futile (at the time given the high failure rate) yet deepest desires/ wishes for some semblance of hopeful happiness in the world.  And ones need to survive by any limited means often being forced to make hard to impossible choices accordingly so to protect and live with the few means available to them that they can achieve by themselves alone, and or with that of others.

Bruh… I could go on rambling forever and I'd still be missing several points😓 that many others have mentioned too. But essentially her undying love, selflessness, compassion, faith, and strength are qualities that have always stood out to me in their own right since the beginning until the very end. And in general it’s just truly satisfying that by the end all her suffering, waiting and perseverance paid off.  Although it was never explicitly stated, many (including myself) speculate that she did open up another coffee shop by the end, which would be a really nice ribbon bow touch to that as well. 3rd times the charm?

She was finally to gain the normal life that she never thought possible with the combined efforts of both sides, the worlds that Kaneki found a place in. Being able to peacefully live with her family, husband, baby girl Ichika (with another boyo on the way) and loved ones.

Her wish for happiness was granted. 

Personally Toukas character journey has truly been a pleasure to witness over over the course of the series, and it’s one that has forever put her in such a special place in my heart, compelling flaws and all😄

[alexboehm55144]

Alex Final Wars 2: Dark Alex, Chapter 18 - The Infiltration

Hello! after a short break to write and post an Aggressive Retsuko story, I am now back with Alex Final Wars! This chapter is very James Bond / spy inspired chapter. You'll see what I mean soon enough. Please enjoy this chapter!

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In the Hainan province in southern China was a location known as Hainan resort, a fancy and upscale resort where any guest could enjoy themselves swimming or lounging in a beautiful tropical environment. But there was a dark side to this location, as nearby there was a Chinese submarine base tucked away and under heavy guard. Chinese soldiers and even a warship patrolled nearby. However, that wouldn’t stop Alex, Jack, and Skye. Heroes wanted to figure out what the Chinese were up to, and information about their operations would be stored at a base such as this. The objective was simple, get in, find some juicy intel, and get out.

Under cover of darkness, the trio had scuba dived towards the base, using small handheld underwater thrusters to travel quicker. Currently, the team was traveling underneath the Chinese warship that was on patrol. The ship had its sonar activated, causing pressure waves throughout the water that made the team wince.

“Hurry up,” Alex said into the radio in his mask “let’s get out of here before that sonar gives us brain damage or something”

“They shouldn’t be able to detect us,” Jack said, “all our gear is designed to hide our sonar signature.”

“How does it do that, specifically?”

“That’s classified, you're lucky I was able to get ahold of a suit for you.”

“Hang on, do you think it’s possible we could plant a charge on that warship above us?”

“This is supposed to be a stealth mission,” Skye said

“No, not to detonate it now, but later. Every Chinese warship we destroy now is one less more we have to fight later”

“If you can do it, then go ahead. But you're going to be getting really close to that sonar”

“Be right back, wait here” Alex said, taking out an explosive charge and swimming up towards the warship.

Nearing the vessel’s propeller, Alex’s head was starting to hurt from the sonar, but he managed to quickly plant a charge near the ship’s propeller, before swimming back down to join his companions.

“Are you alright?” Jack asked

“I’m fine, let’s keep going”

When the team reached the base, they used a torch to cut through an underwater vent grate, before swimming through and ending up inside a submarine pen. Alex once again used the team’s proximity to the Chinese vessel to plant a charge on its propeller, while Skye used a small waterproof snake camera to find a safe area to emerge from the water.

“There are 2 security cameras in here,” The arctic fox said, before drawing a suppressed weapon, and firing a single shot.

*pew*

The bullet broke out of the water and hit the camera, destroying it.

“Make that 1 camera”

*pew*

“Make that 0 zero cameras”

There were a few Chinese guards in the room, but they were oblivious to the fact that their cameras had been cut, and continued to patrol around the sub pen. The 3 team members each lined up a shot on a hostile soldier, before firing at the same time. They downed all guards simultaneously and secured the room.

“We’re inside the base now,” Jack said “it shouldn’t be far to the control room”

“Look for the main hallway” Alex responded, checking over the body of a dead Chinese officer “and I might know of a trick that could help us”

000

Alex, now disguised as the Chinese officer headed down the main hallway, checking the area for hostile soldiers. It was night, so everyone must have been asleep, and the only one on watch was a security camera in one corner. Alex noted this and looked for a room that said “security office” on it. Luckily his high tech glasses were able to read Chinese writing and translate it into English for him.

Spotting the room, Alex headed inside and was met with 3 Chinese guards, who were keeping watch over the base via cameras. The guards stood up and saluted him, before Alex saluted them back and made a motion for them to continue with their work, keeping his face hidden by his hat.

The guards resumed their monitoring duties, while Alex prepared to take them down using a secret weapon. He had a glove that was coated in a fast-acting sleeping agent, so when he performed a takedown on a hostile, the agent would go into that individual's nose and mouth, putting them to sleep. He didn't exactly need it for it to stealthily take people down, but it was a good way to ensure silence when discretion was absolutely necessary. Which in this case it was, as the other guards were not even 3 feet away. Gripping one guard by the nose and mouth, Alex made sure to keep a good grasp on the guard, so he didn't alert the other hostiles. The guard quickly fell asleep, and the captain took a moment to appreciate how effective this unique tool was. The other 2 guards were sat side by side, so Alex performed a dual takedown, rendering them both unconscious. Alex turned off the security measures and headed back out into the hallway.

“It’s all clear,” Alex said, prompting Jack and Skye to move down the hallway. “And I took out the security station, don’t worry about cameras”

Behind Alex, a door opened and a Chinese soldier walked out, but Jack shot him before the soldier could do anything.

Entering the data analysis room, the team was confronted with 5 analysts going over data on computers and papers.

Alex took down one enemy, leaving 2 pairs of analysts who were sitting next to each other. On Alex’s cue, Jack and Skye shot 2 analysts, while Alex performed a takedown on a third, and shot the 4th one with his pistol.

“The intel we need will be in a more secure location,” Skye said “we can hack past any electronic defense, but there will also be armed guards”

Noticing a nearby doorway, Alex used his own snake cam to look under the door and spotted 2 Chinese soldiers standing next to a data vault.

“There’s our target, I got this,” The Captain said, opening the door and stumbling through, hunched over and clutching his chest.

The soldiers let their guard down and approached him, thinking he was wounded, but that’s when Alex took the opportunity to shoot them both in the chest, clearing the way to the vault.

Skye quickly began hacking into the data vault, and a few minutes later she was in.

“Ok, let’s see what we have here... I..... oh no.....”

“What is it?” Jack said

“There’s a piece of intel here detailing the attack plan for an assault on Zootopia. It even says the fleet partaking the attack has already left, and this file is dated to a couple of days ago!”

“Away team do you read?” Toothdee said through the radio.

“Toothdee this was supposed to be a radio silent mission!” Alex said.

“This is important! We just got a distress call from Zootopia! Chinese forces have entered the city!”

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I want to incorporate all sorts of cool little gadgets and tools into the story, and that glove with the sleeping agent is an example of that. Along with the airships. I was actually debating adding the glove in, thinking it might seem like a plothole of some sort. But I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!

[proheromidoriyashouto]

My Good Neighbor, an Inko x Rei Neo-Noir AU

After her divorce and once she’s solely an out-patient, Rei becomes a Private Investigator Jessica Jones-style out of her new apartment in Musutafu. Her reason for this is in part to reclaim her independence, but also to help save others as she wished she could have saved her children. A Shiketsu graduate, she was only a sidekick for a brief time before she was married off to Endeavor and begins the lengthy process to re-acquire a hero license to then function as an underground hero. She finds that she needs assistance and finds it in none other than her neighbor, Midoriya Inko, who is a crime lab technician.

Inko introduced herself once Rei moved in next door but didn’t reveal her occupation until she wound up outside Rei’s office/living room when a disgruntled client started a fight in the apartment. Inko initially hesitates before going out and witnesses a man crash through the glass window of the door with a yell. The man recovers quickly and moves threateningly toward her but Inko whips out a beanbag shotgun she was hiding behind her skirt and tells him to back down. Rei emerges, a katana in hand, and the situation is diffused by the man’s departure via police car.

Rei didn’t have her license to use her quirk  in the beginnings, and makes use of a “decorative” katana that came with her dowry so long ago. Enji had it hung up on a wall in a locked, clear case that only he had the key to, preserving family heirlooms he’d told her parents the last time she saw them, is a duty the Todoroki take with utmost responsibility. A lie to ensure her family’s legacy remained apart from their children-- another familial obligation to burden her heroic spirit with. Free of him, she’s taken it up again sans quirk and it is her main means of protection. Shouto is fascinated and awed by the sight of her wielding the blade so elegantly even all these years out of practice, and they bond over developing her ancestral style into something new, better suited to the modern era, and just theirs.

Rei’s feelings toward her relatives are mixed as they essentially sold her off, but her lessons in kenjutsu were some of the fondest memories of her adolescence and were what she had built her short-lived heroic persona around. Older and out-of-practice, she treats physical violence as a last resort, all the while honing her skills in the event of a throw-down. She leans into vintage-styled dress reminiscent of the classic trench-coat-and-fedora detectives of old-- and not so old, in Naomasa’s case-- but casual enough in appearance that she isn’t written off as a PI at a glance. Once she gets her hero license, a company creates several armored variants of her outfits-- proper costumes for undercover/underground hero work.

She investigates villains sure, but also heroes who are accused or suspected of corruption. Her ex-husband, regrettably, is still the Number One in the wake of All Might’s retirement and it’s a constant source of consternation and turmoil. Rei cannot put her own abuser away as it would threaten the tenuous balance between law and anarchy in their shaken society, and as much as she wants justice for her children if not herself, she knows that now is not the time. Shouto reassures her that once his class has graduated, they’ll oust Endeavor and carry the system on their shoulders better than their predecessors. She’s waited over 20 years-- she can persevere a while longer.

Rei realizes she needs to get forensic assistance from a new lab after spotting members of the Endeavor Agency at the usual place and only just escapes unnoticed. Rather than risk her ex-husbands’ possible spies she’ll have to take matters into her own hands so to speak. She registers her apartment as the headquarters for her own underground agency so she can set up a connected crime lab, but she struggles with what to call it. She’s foregone a proper hero name for much the same reason as her old name isn’t indicative of who or what she is anymore or what her goals are now. Up until now she’s been introducing herself as Rei-san, Private Investigator, hiding her re-earned hero status by omission, but with an agency she’ll need a name.

Shouto often comes by to discuss his life and the current bit of youth culture he’s adapting to, which it so happens to be video games that week. He’s intrigued by interactive visual stories he can alter on a whim and loves to delve into rich background lore because of the mysteries he can spend hours solving. Her family wasn’t so traditional that she never had the opportunity to partake herself, but its an area of interest long forgotten to her at present. Nonetheless, she likes listening to Shouto as he describes the plots and make decisions he instantly regrets only to yelp and hopelessly try to salvage the situation due to misinterpreted dialogue options, spends hours on menial low-reward tasks for the accomplishment alone, takes out aggression on enemies with silly exaggerated weapons and giggle at the absurd physics while doing so-- as he acts like a typical teenage boy.

He especially enjoys playing heroic characters, doing good because it’s what you should do and not because you are forced into the profession. She hopes she can be a hero idol for him where she failed as a mother, even if she’s making up for it now. They’re both surprised upon finding out that there is a hero who looks like her in the game! Shouto spent quite a while designing his character to look like him- as always- with long white hair, and in the costume provided looks astonishingly like Rei in her Media Appearance outfit: The Silver Shroud, operating out of the Memory Den. When she makes a quick change into her own outfit and stands beside the television, her adorable son can’t keep his head still as he notes all the similarities with stars in his eyes, and the decision is made for her. She’s the Silver Shroud and this is their Memory Den.

The decal on the glass of her door is changed from “Rei’s Investigations” to “The Memory Den” and she’s on her way. It’s soon after this that a man who was displeased to find that his lover was not cheating so he could force them to break up with him over the resulting confrontation barges in and threatens her for “ruining everything.” She tries to talk him down, but he is incensed, and they struggle briefly before she sends him flying out the glass with a measured application of her quirk and a kick to the chest. She’s surprised by the arrival of her next-door neighbor- a kind, small woman whose name is familiar though she can’t quite place it- leveling a shotgun at the man like she knows what she’s doing. The former client is forced to wait as Rei calls for a patrol car to take him away, leaving the two women alone.

Inko was recognized by the officers which initially led Rei to believe she was a cop herself before she properly introduced herself as a crime lab technician.

***

“Oh, I’m sorry for interfering with your work. If I’d known you were a hero I wouldn’t have gotten in your way! I just heard what sounded like a fight and a man’s voice and I know you live alone and I’m not an officer or a hero, but I have weapons’ training, so I thought—"

“No, no. It’s perfectly understandable. Rei smiled assuredly. Most people wouldn’t have tried to help, whatever the case, so that you did is admirable. You shouldn’t apologize for it regardless of my position.”

Flustered, Inko replied. “O-oh, well, I am sorry, I know most heroes would feel disrupted… but, um, at least let me say I’m glad you’re alright, then.”

“Likewise.” Rei gestured toward the shotgun, concern tilting her mouth into a frown. “Are you used to handling yourself? I had thought this area was safe.”

“Yes, I am. It’s, ah, not live munition- it’s loaded with beanbag rounds. I’ve only fired it once, though!” Inko sighed. “Honestly? It was safer when I first moved in, but that isn’t why I have Clem, here.”

“Clem?”

Inko flushed and jostled the shotgun pointedly. “Clementine. See, erm, there were… killings a few years ago. The victims were crime scene lab techs. My colleagues.”

Rei’s eyes widened.

“The villain thought it would damage public opinion of the police more than targeting the officers themselves, especially since most murders occurred within precinct walls during the day shift. We were protected, but the attacks stopped before a suspect could be apprehended.” Inko’s shoulder’s tensed. “I… I live alone, lived alone with only my young son, my quirk is nothing flashy and without knowing for sure…” Her eyes took on a hard edge as she met Rei’s slate stare. “Given the circumstances a judge gave me approval for a weapon for strictly defensive purposes, and hero patrols were increased for a while. Since All Might’s retirement, though, I… I- I can’t take any chances. I’ve seen less of the heroes which makes sense with the rise in crime, not to mention my shift increases. I’ve been getting home when it’s dark out in a neighborhood with fewer hero patrols in a poorer part of the prefecture. I know the statistics, and after the talking-to I gave my son about safety- I’m taking her everywhere with me.”

“I… I understand.” Rei replied. “I can wait for you if you like and escort you to your door. I tend to work at night anyway.”

“I wouldn’t want to be a bother! Its like I said, I can handle myself just fine.”

“You’re concerned for your safety and I am a hero.” Rei couldn’t let her go on like this after hearing her tale. “Please, I insist. …think of it as me returning the favor for your help today.”

“Well… alright. That’s fair. A relief knowing you’re right next door and everything.”

“Say…” Rei said pensively. “Would you happen to know if your facilities are partnered with the Endeavor Agency?”

Inko blinked once, twice. “I don’t believe we are. His office has their own lab and when they do cooperate with third-party investigators or the police its usually labs in Tokyo proper, nothing as far from the agency as Musutafu.”

Rei clapped her hands together before her, pleased. “Would you mind speaking more with me inside? I’m in need of a consultation- ah, if it isn’t an imposition, of course.”

“Sure.” Inko grinned. “We should probably get to know each other if we’re going to be seeing more of one another, too.”

“Can I offer you a coffee?” Rei said, stepping around the shattered glass to her apartment. “I, um, don’t have any tea.”

“I’m fine with anything, but a coffee would help my nerves right now.” Inko sighed shakily. She turned toward a source of noise in the living room. “Oh, is that Saving Face? I do enjoy a good love story.”

Rei carefully shut her door behind them and hurried to prepare her guest a drink with smile. The old film was a favorite from her time in the hospital. “As do I.”

***

Rei relies heavily on espionage, leveraging her good looks to coerce criminals into talking to her under the guise of flirting or gossiping with the out-of-place-bombshell at the dive bar. She wears her armored clothing, heels that contain data drives, and hides the katana inside her coats. She curls her hair and wears a hat to hide comms devices, and “smokes” from a cigarette holder that’s really a recording device. The cigarette is fake and shrinks to sell the image, as she would rather not associate with fire. When there’s a change in plans, she blows on it and the cigarette bursts like a smoke bomb for a quick getaway.

She meets with Naomasa in cafes while it’s raining, passes information disguised as a reporter during media blitzes, plants tracking devices on villains while playing the frazzled-and-late-for-carpool stay-at-home mom rushing by, etc. She tries not to rely too heavily on her quirk because it’s a distinct give away but isn’t afraid to overwhelm her opponents if pressed.

At home, most of the apartment has been converted into work space. Only the guest room where the children sleep when they visit is free of materials. Inko stops by every morning and afternoon to be briefed and transport evidence to or from her lab for processing. The two are fast friends, and Rei cherishes the closeness they’ve cultivated in the weeks since their encounter on her door step and they’re only growing closer-- which she's got butterflies about. The glass window is continuously destroyed by people sent flying through it to the point that they keep several replacements on hand.

Rei and Inko go out on day while their sons are waiting at the Memory Den and enter to find a quiet apartment. They find them in the guest room. Shouto is wearing Rei’s largest coat, her hat, and her blue ugg boots she got specifically for relief after long days in heels, standing over Izuku who is prone on the floor with ketchup over his body in several places, tongue out, clearly playing dead. The boys recreated one of her evidence boards and while Shouto reviews the clues out loud, Izuku intermittently offers his thoughts before ‘dying’ once more in dramatic fashion. Rei whips out her camera just in time to catch her son’s flustered waffling when Izuku calls him Shoushou- he has a nickname! - and Izuku hiding his face in his arms at being called ‘zukun’ in return. They watch for a few minutes and almost reveal themselves when Shouto chasing Izuku- now the criminal- around the room makes them laugh.

They finally do when Shouto proclaims, “Mama is the best hero this town has ever seen! She won’t let you hurt anyone else, villain.”

Rei pushes the door open, tears in her eyes. “You really think so?”

She hugs him so close and they have a good long cry about what could have been.

Rei’s most prominent case becomes the search for the serial killer burning their victims alive. It’s not a high-profile case, minimal media coverage to prevent inciting a panic, and the other investigators are a few underground heroes in coordination with the police. It comes to a head when a lead mentions a homeless man going simply by ‘Touya’ arriving in Musutafu around the time of Stain’s prominence and the continuation of the League of Villains’ recruitment schemes.

The investigation takes a darker note when they discover that quirkless people are disappearing in areas of suspected League of Villains activity likely to serve as the ‘base’ of new Noumu experiments.

Rei presses everyone for any information about a man named ‘Touya’ and when asked why she reveals, “My oldest son, it’s his name. He left home a long time ago and hasn’t spoken to me since. He fits the profile.”

“..the killer’s profile?” Naomasa nearly dropped his pen in shock.

“No.” Rei denied. “He couldn’t have burned those people. Not my boy.”

“Silver Shroud… Rei-san… if he has a fire quirk and matches the description—”

“That’s what I mean. It couldn’t have been him. Touya was born quirkless. He fits the profile for the Noumu experiments. That’s why I have to find him.”

Rei’s journey of self-actualization is embroiled in the search for her missing son, capturing villains, hunting a serial killer, confronting and abiding by the society which allowed her spirit to be broken, learning to forgive herself, and discover what it is to find love in the least expected places, and allow herself to be loved.

***

(Don’t make a new Inko x Rei AU when you haven’t published the first one. Don’t do it, bitch-

We’re here, I guess. I wrote this listening to My Love by Kovacs. This is super fun and occurred to me while playing Fallout 4 which is why she’s the Silver Shroud. Shouto having a grand old time being a hero in the wasteland in a Minuteman/Railroad run brings me joy to think about. It’s not like I also planned a Fallout AU or anyth-

Inksignia, Beyond Alteo is about half-done. I keep pushing it back to work on other things, but it’s coming along and will be published a thousand years before this one because I’m terrible.

Inko’s deal here is a subplot I haven’t fully thought through, I just really like tiny ladies with big guns and needed a suitable explanation. She recovers shells and beanbags with her quirk don’t tell no body. She doesn’t back up Rei on scene because Inko is not a hero and as someone who works with law enforcement, knows better than to interfere most of the time. Rei comes over to sleep at the Midoriya apartment because her own bed is usually a mess of paperwork and lordknowswhat that’ll take too long to organize. Rei shares Inko’s bed. snuggles

I spent an embarrassing amount of time looking into some of Rei’s outfits. She has several pairs of casual heels for spying under the guise of public outings and practical boots when she knows it’ll be a fight, or her patrols require them. She wears the kind of wool winter coats that are trench-coat-ish but ultimately fashionable, except in her Media Appearance outfit which is basically the Silver Shroud costume. Two hundred years later shit is up for free-use or whatever it doesn’t matter. The hat she favors is a black Bellady hat with a silver bow. I can provide links to anyone who wants a to see the stuff I picked. Keeping them out of the post so it doesn’t get flagged for links or whatever. Honestly, this should just be called the Aesthetic AU.

Quirkless Touya? From moi??? whatever do i mean hohohohohon

Slight todomido/izushou, mostly background. Inko x Rei endgame. Toshinori? Maybe??? Seriously can we create ship names for them. Inkrei. Reinko. Toshinkrei??? )

[amosbarot]

( cismale ) haven’t seen AMOS BAROT around in a while. the DEV PATEL lookalike has been known to be (+) INSOUCIANT & (+) KEEN, but HE can also be (-) TROUBLED & (-) DERISIVE. The 24 year old is a SENIOR majoring in COMPUTER ENGINEERING. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( james. 20. EST. she/they. )

hello !! here is my other baby, who is...somehow, more of a mess than naeva !! no dilly dally, let’s jump right into it !!

TW: drug addiction/abuse, car accident. mental illness. 

a e s t h e t i c s ( except i am a sham of a person and sorta very much forgot to save my aesthetics so ! winging it ! )

floral suits and a light air of mock-arrogance, charming smiles and a mischievous glint, easy sarcasm and raised eyebrows. rolling joints resembling cigars, smoke drifting towards ceilings as conspiratorial rambles escape intoxicated lips,  wild gestures and toppled book stacks, four expresso shots at the stroke of midnight and equations leading off whiteboards. heavy eye bags and warm smiles, dismissive words and excuses. sleepwalking to the middle of the quad for the third time that week, donning white boxers littered with red hearts...again. secret glances and barely contained excitement, distractions from the obvious.

general info !!

full name: amos ronak barot

nickname(s): n/a !!

b.o.d. - january 17th, 24 yrs old, capricorn

label(s): the academic, the ebullient, the fallen, the icarcian.

height: 6′2″

hometown: london, uk ooo fancy

sexuality: wildly. chaotically. bisexual.

his stats can be found HERE

and his pinterest can be found HERE !

biography

introducing...another one of indira’s cousins !!!! 

born to olena barot, member of the american embassy in london/future U.S. ambassador to the UK and ronak barot, CEO of his very own computer company. needless to say, he and his younger sister alya were born into a certain wealth

they hopped between the US and the UK and wherever else they desired to go on vacation to with ease; UK for school and US for breaks, rome or paris or wherever else, simply whenever.

despite this though !! olena and ronak had always wanted their children to find their own success, to be financially stable without their assistance once they got older. therefore, it was a known fact in their household that they’d be cut off financially by the time they were 21.

luckily, neither of them really minded this? both children had always had an extreme thirst for knowledge and a wonder for things. even so--their childhood wasn’t quite typical, as their competitive natures led to them trying to one-up each other?

alya and amos grew up extremely close to each other, being so close in age it really didn’t feel as if she was the younger sibling; they were more like twins than anything. obviously, amos still gloated about being the eldest, but their bond was tight.

there were moments in their childhood where if anybody, and i mean anybody--spoke ill of alya, amos would get into physical alterations. he’s much more peaceful now, but the history is still there.

by the time amos entered sixth form, his studies were--while still very important to him--less frequent. he’d go out nearly every night, gone whole weekends, partying or being a general hooligan. 

alya, however, did not partake in these activities. this is where they differed--amos had always been an extrovert, fond of crowds and people and being in the center of it all. causing ruckus. wrecking havoc. alya’s always been...reserved, in the best way possible. few knew just what a gem she was, but she really was to be treasured. even so--the less time amos seemed to spend at home, the more distant alya became towards him.

but, surprise: despite being literally, incredibly smart, amos got BIG DUMBASS ENERGY and was very very oblivious to the why and how of this. which really, really did not help.

unfortunately, there wasn’t any time to dwell about this.

around the same time, tragedy struck the barot family.

after one of his lil’ runabouts, amos came home to find furniture being escorted out of their house, police--his sister crying, his mother ashamed, his father nowhere to be found. 

and soon after, amos found out that his father was arrested for a scandal that sent many into a tizzy. essentially: the company fucked over their own customers via stealing their info, committing some fraud, y’know, credit cards and social security numbers, sellin’ it. just. some nasty white collar crime.

it also wound up fucking up olena’s newly acquired position as the US ambassador for the UK. she was released from the embassy during ronak’s trials.

he ultimately wound up in prison, and olena moved their family back to the U.S.

and amos--being the big dumb baby he is, figured the best thing to do was to pretend it hadn’t bothered him one bit! so he did exactly that!

i imagine that they moved close to indira’s family, and amos spent a lot of time with her from there then.

however, in between pretending things were fine and dandy, and home life, and the drag and pull of parties, anxiety weighed down amos’ bones like...constantly. his family was now, essentially, poor with a mass debt thanks to their father. the expectations for amos to do good, to be better--the fall of amos’ biggest role model.

it was all too much. anxiety attacks became frequent, provoked by the slightest thing--he could only lay awake at night, sleep infrequent. he was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and insomnia, and treated for both--some days it still doesn’t feel like enough.

getting a scholarship to lockwood is probably the best thing to happen to him in a long time. it was a new look into a potential future.

got into the uh...career, of sorts, of doing people’s assignments for them for a hefty payment, alongside his normal job. just to make sure he had spending money and whatnot.

involving tatiana: their friendship bloomed after he did a few assignments for her, y’see--then came the midnight adventures, and whatnot. i wouldn’t have called them close by any means, but they had fun together when they weren’t arguing. their friendship ended after a pretty bad car accident--neither were fatally hurt, but the car was wrecked and it was amos’ fault and it just. sorta was the end of that.

he’s got a...reliability on his sleeping pills, if you will. it’s not healthy in the slightest, but he’s convinced it’s nothing serious. it’s pretty serious.

his eyesight is also getting worse--expected to become legally blind by the time he’s forty.

more on those l8r

personality

there’s a lot of words you can use to describe amos! pretentious, sarcastic, provoking, hardly ever serious, immature, petty, Just Like That, full of himself, smartass, big dumbass energy. y’know. just an infinite amount.

he can be so dramatic! everything he does is exaggerated. he rolls cigar-sized joints at every party. goes around with a horrible ‘20s mobster voice, voicing his lil’ conspiracies.

it’s both hard and very easy to forget that amos graduated as valedictorian of his high school (stealing it, from somebody else--i should mention, as he came in halfway thru the year and kinda just. snatched the title.) because he can be a real idiot sometimes.

because he tries to hard to mask his insecurities, he overcompensates with just. being childish. he’s fun to be around but sometimes he can just be. exhausting.

so like, he went into computer engineering because that was just sorta what he always wanted to do? besides programming? he really wanted to take after his father--but with him being in jail and whatnot, kinda puts a damper to that dream. still, he can’t stop.

so he’s just. really good with computers tbh?? built his own, programmed his own firewall. his dream is to open his own cybersecurity company.

VERY STRESSED LIKE CONSTANTLY like catch him in the library with six empty coffee cups surrounding his work, it’s 2am--he hasn’t slept, in fact his eyes are likely taped opened. he works a lot.

but parties...a lot more! he tries rly hard to not mix his medication with anything so that leads to him...not always taking it, or overcompensating when he misses. it’s a mess. he’s a mess. he thinks he knows what he’s doing but he’s NOT.

i think...i’d consider him lovable. he’s a lil eccentric, a lil high energy.

LOVES HIS FAMILY. like, listen. he still loves his dad. would protect his cousins and sister and mother with his mf life.

alya and him aren’t on the...best terms rn. so that Hurts.

he can be really petty tbh ?? like he can’t take arguments seriously so he just becomes this fucking manchild. he will mimic u. he’ll mock u. he can be hurtful.

god...i don’t even know what else to say. just take him TAKE HIM

wanted connections

as always, i am a big slut for every connection.

give him his Lads. his buds. his pals. his broskis. his bromances.

ride or die(s)

people he tutors !! people whose work he does for them !!

somebody who goes to him b/c of computer troubles n he’s just like...r u going to pay me or nah

high school friends??

party pals??

his sister may become a WC in the future but idk quite yet, we do stan her though !!

drug dealer pls n thank

ex friends ?? fake friends ?? toxic friends ??

bad influences ?? good influences ??

hook ups ?? like a lot of ‘em ??

confidante ?? just somebody he can. rant to.

academic rival just b/c i really love intense study-offs

enemies for whatever reason ??

exes ??

particularly this one ex he was really, really in love w/ but life just got really stressful and idk it affected their relationship and they sorta just. ended it. idk who ended it w/ who but it probably wasn’t mutual and he’s probably really still hung up about it. 

i mean i’ll take...anything...did they run into each other once and now just see each other everywhere??

unrequited things??

really cute close friendships??

[o-hteco]

Sig in the city @sig-roys

(West O'hteco) "Roys." Via linkpearl. (Sigmund Roys) "HELLO?" (West O'hteco) "I've been to the train station and they instructed me the prim gent and his boyfriend departed for the city already. Pray you two are not lost by now." (Sigmund Roys) "WESTLYON?" (West O'hteco) A pregnant pause (West O'hteco) "Hello. Shouting will not increase your success." (West O'hteco) The long eyeroll can be heard in her tone (Sigmund Roys) He grumbled as he seemed to fiddle with the linkpearl, something about unnecessary and irritating before. "OH CAN YOU HEAR ME? I'M SORRY DARLING THIS CITY IS SO LOUD." People around him were in awe of the volume. (West O'hteco) She considered explaining and the length it would take..so for a very short moment, and some walking outside of earshot, she too yelled "/where/ ARE you." (Sigmund Roys) HE looked around for a moment. "I'm in the Adventurer's Hall. Or brothel, whatever it is considered /these/ days." (West O'hteco) "You'd know." said off the cuff as she navigated her way through the holiday crowd the quicksand. (Sigmund Roys) "Westlyon. This woman has no pants on." He said a /bit/ too loud more than likely. (West O'hteco) "The customary thing to do in these parts is to offer them your own pair." (Sigmund Roys) "I imagine you don't often partake... Seeing you embrace the local dress?" (West O'hteco) "I often wear skirts. I bypass this rule. But you saw her first."

[21:14]Sigmund Roys smiles at you. [21:14]Sigmund Roys: "Westlyon!" [21:14]Sigmund Roys gives you a big hug. [21:14]Teeny Rini cheers Grundy Byrde on! [21:14]Kurenai Azami: like [21:14]Kurenai Azami: the yung gravy song? [21:14](West O'hteco) roll [21:14]Random! You roll a 147. [21:15]Random! Sigmund Roys rolls a 148. [21:15]Teeny Rini claps for Grundy Byrde. [21:15]West O'hteco brought her hand up to defend herself against the hug - going for a--oh ok nope. she was hugged with her hand up, squished between them "Hello."

[21:17]Sigmund Roys smiled as he awkwardly hugged her, even with one arm up. "Sorry, I was a bit turned around once we arrived at the station." [21:17]Sigmund Roys points at Slaeswys Saelzantwyn. [21:17]Sigmund Roys nods to you. [21:17]Vale Amari: I thought that The jackson 5 released that song [21:17]Nazeru Auronas gazes upon Aliciena Leach in deep reflection. [21:18]West O'hteco side glanced "Yes, and where is your diligent guide?" she bid a smile and stepped aside "Have you been in here long?" a hand offered out for his pearl [21:18]Nazeru Auronas: "...nah. Just deja vu." [21:18]Misago Kaifu: The jackson 5 released my butt [21:18]Seska Tayuun waves to U'zhan Mistblade. [21:19]Sigmund Roys offered over his pearl to her. "I'm certain it is broken. As it is with those types of devices." [21:19]Hikari Yuri gently pats Alexandria Metalwolf. [21:19]Sigmund Roys: "Oh? Petyr is collecting the rest of our luggage for now, I'll have him make his way to your establishment later once he's done." [21:20]West O'hteco held his pearl in one hand and brought her ring up to lips, speaking softly. "Hello. This is how we use these." his then offered out upon her palm. "Shouting in confusion attracts predators to easy prey." her voice easily transmitting to him [21:20]You smile at Sigmund Roys. [21:21]Sigmund Roys makes a straight face at you. [21:21]West O'hteco: "No." [21:21]Sigmund Roys: "It was broken earlier." [21:21]West O'hteco: "I've found you a place nearby."

[21:21]Sigmund Roys: "I've been on my feet for more than a /bell/ now Westlyon, perhaps we could continue this conversation with some tea?" [21:21]Sigmund Roys: "Certainly this... Establishment sells tea?" [21:22]Of the 78 parties currently recruiting, all match your search conditions. [21:22]West O'hteco slipped her hand into his pocket, depositing the pearl. "How did you find the family train?" she led on [21:23]Sigmund Roys: "The woman serving on the train is rather surly." [21:23]West O'hteco touched a hand to the bar, leaning in to order for her uncle - the way he liked..but she paused "Are you wanting your normal fare or something different?" [21:23]Sigmund Roys: "You know, you should do a bit better job looking into who you hire for these positions." [21:23]West O'hteco: "Isn't she wonderful?" [21:23]West O'hteco smirked "She's more there for entertainment." [21:23]Grundy Byrde: It's one thing to realize your waifu might never be real, but let's take a moment of silence for all the FGO trash. [21:24]Sigmund Roys: "If you think they'll be able to serve it in a clean glass..." [21:24]West O'hteco: "Not with that attitude." [21:24]West O'hteco said low. [21:24]Sigmund Roys inspected over the bar and huffed in preemptive irritation. [21:24]West O'hteco instead ordered an Ul'dahn coffee. Darkroast, frothy, bitter, and hella strong.

[21:25]Sigmund Roys looked over the cup for a moment, taking a tentative sip and... [21:25]Random! Sigmund Roys rolls a 495. [21:25]Sigmund Roys figured it was /fine I guess/. [21:26]Sigmund Roys: "I know you're quite skilled at hiring people for events and so on but you really should consider a more polite and accomodating person for the family train."

[21:31]West O'hteco ordered a coffee as well - giving motion to add a little something extra to it. Ease the mood, thanks. "It was purely intentional. I traded a pleasant blonde hyur gent for her specifically. There is no good to be had in my family ever having things simple and clean cut. - If they can navigate themselves properly around an unruly ishgardian disaster like Sabine."[21:34]Sigmund Roys sighed slowly, taking another sip. "Well perhaps asking the family if they want to have such trials and tribulations is in order." [21:34]Sigmund Roys: "At my age a woman of her temperment is simply too much." [21:34]West O'hteco gave a clear look over of 'I pay for the fuckin train' but said nothing, taking a sip.

[21:36]Sigmund Roys: "Well, other than seeing how the rest of the family lives I did have a few things in mind." [21:36]Sigmund Roys: "I was hoping you could help me gather the family some time soon to discuss..." [21:37]Sigmund Roys mumbled the last few words as he took another sip. [21:37]West O'hteco held her cup at her lap. "Your retirement from the university?" [21:38]Sigmund Roys: "Ha! Hardly." [21:38]Sigmund Roys said that with a surprising vitality and cockiness before reeling it back in. [21:39]Sigmund Roys: "I was saying to... Get some more assistance with the coming expedition. [21:40]West O'hteco glanced down to her cup, tilting it lightly, knowing that response was coming. "You'd have to speak to them for more than five minutes. Sure you can manage a whole three months on foot?"

[21:41]Sigmund Roys: "I could likely ask you the same thing, I doubt you've kept in expeditionary shape sitting in... Establishments like this.” [21:43]West O'hteco turned in her seat "I'm in here because you wanted tea." she began "and its best not to judge the locals first thing off the train. Your experience will only degrade if so." - furthermore. "I'm not suggesting they are unfit. Only you've not properly met East yet and you barely speak to Mir as is. A little early to ask for time consuming favors, don't you think." [21:49]Sigmund Roys: "Besides, the expedition isn't a favor, it's a bonding experience. Not to diminish your works but what can you do that is better for the common good than travel and research." [21:49]Sigmund Roys: "I'm sure the alcoholics will still be here when you all return." [21:51]West O'hteco tilt her head "Lifting up is hard? Better bust out a cane." she joked slightly, finishing off her coffee and feeling all the better for it. -- until he kept talking. "If I had the time I might consider going this time, but just as I said months ago - I've other ventures. You are certainly welcome to prod my siblings but don't expect much from it." said fairly confidently. They all had their different ventures. "I certainly wouldn't begin the family reunion that way either...."

[21:51]West O'hteco mimiced him briefly "/Hello kids. How are you. Do me a favor./" ..."try to atleast spend time with them before busting those out." [21:53]Sigmund Roys: "The expedition is the perfect way to spend time together Westlyon! Think of it as a bonding experience!" [21:54]West O'hteco smiled over "Yes, getting bit by a constant swarm of mosquitos, rationing food, and slimly evading death and disease in the name of rich people research is a novelty bonding experience." she didn't hate the whole venture really, it had just become daunting over the years. [21:55]Sigmund Roys: "What better way to truly get to know one another, besides it's rather unfair they've never really had the chance to experience it." [21:55]West O'hteco motioned his way, paying tip and taking to stand. Walking time, cmon old man. "Again, you can try." [21:56]Sigmund Roys paused for a moment and then... Simply shrugged, finishing off his coffee as well. "Interesting you would say that." [21:56]West O'hteco: "Come on. I'll show you where I keep all the fresh drunks." [21:56]Sigmund Roys: "I'm not staying at whatever lodging you've gotten for me Westlyon." [21:57]West O'hteco: "Sleeping au natural, then?" [21:57]West O'hteco: "En plein air?" [21:57]Sigmund Roys: "I've somewhere in La Noscea I'll be staying." [21:57]Sigmund Roys: "Easier for when the expedition leaves." [21:58]West O'hteco outright squint, taken aback she glanced over her shoulder "That's a long trip back and forth if you're trying to bribe the family into this." [21:59]Sigmund Roys: "Well thankfully for you it's of little concern yes?" [22:00]Sigmund Roys: "If anything, it will only ensure none of you will need to be in attendance. Yes?" [22:00]Sigmund Roys smiles at you. [22:00]West O'hteco had found him a five star little bed and breakfast and arranged his favorite brunch and imported daily newspaper subscription from marion and ishgard -- but yes fine. "Let me show you where to find them."

[22:03]Sigmund Roys inspected the facility for a moment, finally giving a somewhat impressed. "Hm." [22:03]West O'hteco had of course paused precariously near some /very/ run down places. stopping to check the time near an actual brothel at one point-- just to make him think they were her establishments. [22:04]West O'hteco finally arrived here at Crescent - well kept and polished. Classy even. [22:04]Sigmund Roys: "You've done quite well in the last few cycles." [22:04]West O'hteco: "Abendgarten's utility  and upkeep  bills are a small thing in comparison." [22:04]West O'hteco said sadly. [22:04]West O'hteco: "Thank gods for those drunks, m?" [22:05]Sigmund Roys smirks confidently at you. [22:05]West O'hteco held the door open. [22:05]You have left the sanctuary. [22:05]You have entered a sanctuary. [22:05]Sabrina Starbuck has logged in. [22:05]Sigmund Roys: "Well, business was not often a Roys strong suit." [22:06]Sigmund Roys: "It seems all of those traits were saved for you." [22:06]West O'hteco  || Mannet began to greet the elder gent. Finally someone his ag--but he saw west and cleared his throat, moving messages over the counter toward her. [22:06]Sigmund Roys began to inspect the flora almost immediately. [22:06]Sigmund Roys: "You know a bit more sunlight would do a world of good for these?" [22:06]Sigmund Roys: "... Simply a thought." [22:07]West O'hteco: "I've specifically purchased the low light variety." [22:07]West O'hteco expected this commentary. [22:07]West O'hteco gave him a sly glance to the right "They are watered once a week." knowing he'd suspect overwatering soon

[22:07]Sigmund Roys inspected for several moments longer, there was a lot to say about the varieties and just what 'low light' truly meant. This of course, earned a well thought out. "Hmph." [22:08]Sigmund Roys: "I'd still like to speak with the keeper." [22:08]Sigmund Roys looks around. [22:08]West O'hteco: "You know how difficult it is to kill a Sansevieria, anyway." [22:08]Sigmund Roys: "How do you not get lost in this place?" [22:09]West O'hteco: "I made the map." [22:09]Sigmund Roys: "Can we not turn up the lights some?" [22:09]West O'hteco offered her hand "Need a guide?" [22:09]Sigmund Roys: "Perhaps turn down the music just a bit?" [22:09]West O'hteco: "I must warn you, there are steps ahead." [22:09]West O'hteco offered him her arm in kind, amused at the least. [22:10]Sigmund Roys took her arm with a roll of eyes. She'd just keep at it if he didn't.

[22:11]West O'hteco wrapped her forearm under his, propped up all neatly with her hand atop his. "It has become more of a venue these days. Clientele rent her out - so I suppose we are a brothel if you really must complain." [22:11]West O'hteco: "A very high class one, though." [22:12]Sigmund Roys groaned a bit at that. "Of course you'd find a way to ruin such a wonderfully tender moment." [22:12]Of the 80 parties currently recruiting, all match your search conditions. [22:12]West O'hteco leaned her head to his shoulder briefly. Yes. [22:12]West O'hteco: "We're doing a club night in a few weeks. You should come." [22:12]West O'hteco would regret that invitation. [22:12]West O'hteco: "Bring petyr." [22:13]Sigmund Roys surveyed the entirety of the dancefloor. This wasn't very much his style, scene, or really anything he knew about. Still, the impressive sight and obvious work put into it, especially when coupled with his knowledge of where she'd come from made him all the more proud. [22:13]West O'hteco: "He could use some nightlife. Social life. General life." [22:13]Sigmund Roys smirks confidently at you. [22:13]Sigmund Roys: "I always knew you'd grow fond of him." [22:13]West O'hteco: "Pity him." [22:13]Sigmund Roys: "I'm sure he would appreciate the invitation, though I doubt he'd enjoy the more... Rowdy nights." [22:13]West O'hteco: "You should treat your best friend better." [22:14]Sigmund Roys: "Oh he is treated just fine." [22:14]West O'hteco glanced up thoughtfully. [22:14]Sigmund Roys: "He just loves to whine." [22:14]Sigmund Roys was a pot, ready to meet a kettle. [22:15]Sigmund Roys: "Besides, if you don't hurry I am certain one of those Marion girls will try and wed him in no time." [22:15]West O'hteco: "A thirty something grown man, idling day and night aside you. No romantic interests, no hobbies - his purpose is to live aside your life and shape his around it. " [22:15]Sigmund Roys: "For all his posturing he benefits from being quite a large fish in a small pond." [22:15]West O'hteco lifts her chin. "Sure, hopefully you give him leave enough to actually have a date. [22:16]Sigmund Roys: "While this may come as a surprise to you Westlyon, I do not need to be /constantly/ tended to hand and foot." [22:16]Sigmund Roys: "He has his share of social callings in the town." [22:17]West O'hteco: "All speculation of course. Its just interesting that a handsome man such as he make such trivial things his business when people come to stay at the house." [22:17]West O'hteco: "Its like he has nothing better to do." [22:17]West O'hteco eyed her nails. [22:17]Sigmund Roys: "You're friend certainly had quite the time in Marion." [22:17]West O'hteco: "Ah, perfect example. Thank you." [22:17]West O'hteco pat his hand [22:17]Sigmund Roys: "Eastford's associate, the odd one with the accent." [22:18]West O'hteco: "I'm sure petie hat plenty to say about it?" [22:18]West O'hteco had [22:18]Sigmund Roys: "/Petyr/ explained little, but I'm no fool Westlyon." [22:19]Sigmund Roys: "Still, between you sneaking off with Petyr and that young man causing a stir." [22:19]Sigmund Roys: "You were not helping our reputation in the town at all." [22:19]Sigmund Roys looks around. [22:19]West O'hteco tilt her head and walked down after him a little too quickly. "Me sneaking off with petyr?" she laughed /causally/ "That's a new one." [22:20]You dye the white partition.

[22:20]Sigmund Roys: "Oh you can drop the charade Westlyon, he denied it as well." [22:20]Sigmund Roys: "But while I may seem old I've still got my connections within Marion." [22:21]The command “/em laughed at that. "What are the crows and squirrels telling you, then?"” is unavailable at this time. [22:21]West O'hteco laughed at that. "What are the crows and squirrels telling you, then?" [22:21]Sigmund Roys: "But such... Open affections. Westlyon, it certainly does not help our family." [22:21]Sigmund Roys: "Hm." [22:21]West O'hteco: "With Petyr? [22:21]West O'hteco: "Here now, I thought that might make you quite happy." [22:22]Sigmund Roys: "It would if you'd both stop denying it, and if he'd respect me enough to ask my permission before being so... Brash." [22:22]Sigmund Roys: "It's simply not proper." [22:22]Of the 77 parties currently recruiting, all match your search conditions. [22:22]Sigmund Roys examined the casino area with a critical eye and a scoff. "What is this gaudy section?" [22:22]West O'hteco stoppered a quick snerk, held the back of her hand to her lips, debating. [22:22]Random! You roll a 549. [22:23]West O'hteco tilt her head to the left...ehh..then to the right.. "Ah, well. Petyr and I simply don't want to overwhelm you with possibility." she bold face lied. [22:23]West O'hteco: "And anyway, things like that are very delicate. Long distances." [22:24]Sigmund Roys: "Well it's simply ridiculous. If you'd both drop the charade I could give you my blessing." [22:24]West O'hteco: "A little too early for such things." [22:24]West O'hteco: "He's barely even held my hand." [22:24]West O'hteco: "I thinhk he's nervous." [22:24]West O'hteco rolled a shoulder. [22:25]Sigmund Roys sighed. "From the stories I was told, it may already be far too late." [22:25]West O'hteco: "I suspect no one has ever given him a proper talk about courting." [22:25]Sigmund Roys makes a straight face at you. [22:25]West O'hteco laughed at that [22:25]You burst out laughing at Sigmund Roys. [22:25]West O'hteco: "You're failing him, trust me." [22:25]West O'hteco eased back "I'm not interested in kept men." [22:27]Sigmund Roys sighed, but moved on. "Yes, yes, you're not one to be limited." [22:27]West O'hteco: "Would you really want me to date a lapdog?" [22:27]West O'hteco: "Marry one?" [22:27]You smile at Sigmund Roys. [22:27]West O'hteco: "Would he be the stay at home father?" [22:28]Sigmund Roys: "Petyr is a good man, and far from anyone's lap dog Westlyon, and I would appreciate if you treated him with the respect he deserves." [22:28]West O'hteco: "Follow your own words." [22:28]Sigmund Roys waved a dismissive hand. "He and I joke." [22:28]Sigmund Roys: "I don't think less of him, as you seem to do." [22:28]Sigmund Roys: "Not everyone has something to prove to the world you know." [22:28]West O'hteco: "If you hired a few more helpers around the place - worked on finances and exports -- he could have more time to seek out such things." [22:29]West O'hteco: "Ah no, I was speaking of you the entire time." [22:29]Sigmund Roys makes a straight face at you.

[22:29]West O'hteco: "Petyr is a fine man, certainly. But a little more light would do him well." [22:29]West O'hteco echoed the plant discussion [22:29]Sigmund Roys: "You are far too taxing on this old man." [22:30]West O'hteco: "Which? Your old ego or old pride?" [22:30]Sigmund Roys groaned as he slowly rose. "I will stay at your lodgings tonight, I need some rest before the trip tomorrow." [22:30]West O'hteco offered up the keyroom and address. [22:30]West O'hteco: "Need an escort?" [22:31]Sigmund Roys: "I'm certain there is more than a few of them here, but I believe I'll be fine on my own this evening." [22:31]West O'hteco: "M. Pray you'll alert me on the tiny yell pearl if you get lost." [22:31]Sigmund Roys: "Wouldn't wish to deplete Abendgarten's funds any deeper knowing what you'd likely charge." [22:31]West O'hteco: "By the minute for elderly. At your age its a good deal." [22:31]West O'hteco motioned him toward the steps. [22:32]Of the 71 parties currently recruiting, all match your search conditions. [22:32]Sigmund Roys moved to make his way to the stairs, but paused. [22:32]Sigmund Roys: "...You've done very well here Westlyon. Impressive indeed." [22:33]Sigmund Roys: "You should remove the gambling though." [22:33]Sigmund Roys: "Terrible habit." [22:33]West O'hteco smiled lightly. A fond farewell. "Mind the Dhamel head on the way up." [22:33]Sigmund Roys nods to you.

[bloodsworn-marshal]

LF Roleplay: Pipin Tarupin

THE BASICS ––––

NAME: Pipin Tarupin

AGE: 25

RACE: Lalafell

ETHNICITY: Dunesfolk

GENDER: Male

SERVER: Malboro

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE ––––

Hair Style/Color: Wild long sandy hair, partly braided.

Eye Color: Coal Black

Height: SMALL

Build: On the muscular side for a lalafell.

Common Accessories: Typically bland colored holders for his braid.

PERSONAL ––––

PROFESSION: Marshal of the Immortal Flames

HOBBIES: Fighting / Training / Exploration / Relaxing

RESIDENCE: Typically stays put either in the Flame Halls or the Goblet.

BIRTHPLACE: Ul’dah

RELIGION: The Twelve

PATRON DEITY: Azeyma the Warden

LIKES: Spicy Food / Fighting / Helping / Attention / Competition / Pranks

DISLIKES: Monetarists / Disobedience / Solitude / Cramped Spaces

FEARS: Incapability / Weakness / Confinement

TRAITS––––

extroverted / introverted /in between

disorganized / organized /in between

close minded /open-minded/ in between

calm/ anxious / in between

disagreeable /agreeable/ in between

cautious/ reckless/ in between

patient/ impatient / in between

outspoken / reserved /in between

empathetic/ unempathetic / in between

optimistic / pessimistic /in between

traditional/ modern / in between

hard-working / lazy / in between

cultured / uncultured /in between

loyal/ disloyal / in between

faithful/ unfaithful / in between

ROLEPLAY HOOKS––––

■ Immortal Flame Halls: One will almost primarily find the Flame Marshal in the Flame Halls from day to day. Overseeing his officers while giving out orders and signing reports. Those who are in need of seeking him out may request audience and have a private meeting. Whether it be out of nostalgia, to make his acquaintance, or however you wish... He is open to meeting all.

■ In Her Gates: When not closed off in his office, Pipin is out and about Ul’dah. Typically patrolling the streets while also partaking in everyday conversation. He could be just about anywhere at any time and visiting certain aspects of the city.

■ On the Field: Should the opportune arise, there are chances you might come across Pipin out and about in the fields of Thanalan. Most of these trips involve visiting training camps for Flames recruits... or simply giving himself a brief respite from the city. Should there be a commotion of some sort, he’d be willing to stop whatever it is he’s doing to take a look or assist.

■ Political Venture: Loathe as he is to take part, but Pipin has slowly begun to integrate himself into the mindset of partaking in politics over being a simple soldier. Before he only stood by the Sultansworn and the Eorzean leaders... now being required in so much more. As such, should there be a major meeting in which he is needed to attend, he will be there. Even if it is to meet with lesser known sorts and create friendly relations.

■ Ala Mhigo Restoration: Pipin is assisting with overseeing the gradual restoration of Ala Mhigo and that her people slowly embark back to her lands from Ul’dah. Plenty of chances to see him out and about Gyr Abania... as well as the occasional visit to his father.

■ Other: I am open to any and all ideas! A lot of my ideas are basic and general so as to include everyone, but I am all for plotting different sorts of settings and such. (Especially shenanigans)

WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR––––

■ I would absolutely love to find more people out there who roleplay NPC’s within ffxiv. Especially those whom the character Pipin might have interacted with at some point or another. Even then I’m not so picky to learn a new character. I’m also welcome to roleplay with just about anyone! As long as your character is a part of the ffxiv universe, I’m game.

■ I love long ongoing plots and creating unlikely bonds and friendship (Or enemies!). Short and sweet rps are great too, but I enjoy getting invested into another person’s character and creating interesting relations.

■ Under no circumstances will I do explicit or sexual content. As a canon NPC character, I want to stick to the canon as much as possible and create an experience as if one were engaging with the NPC themselves. Not to say I’m against romantic settings! But know that it will never go into ERP territory.

EXTRA––––

I’m a busy mun who has a full-time job as well as the occasional on-call. It might take me some time to get to replies and such. Please have patience if I happen to be slow at times, but I tend to be pretty active!

Don’t be afraid to come to me if you have ideas or a certain scenario you would like to roleplay. As long as we communicate, I’m fine with making things work! Or if you just feel like talking at all really.

I’m a PS4 player whom types very slowly on their controller and usually takes awhile to respond to statements. If you happen to see me in game, forgive me if I respond slowly!

I’ve mainly been an “Ask and you shall receive” type of blog where I’ve rarely reached out, but will go along with anyone who pokes me for things. Mostly because I’m not sure who is actually available or looking for this sort of connection. So in an attempt to better myself I’m reaching out now!

YOU CAN CONTACT ME VIA ––

Tumblr Messages (Preferred)

Discord: Private message for username.

In Game on Pipin Tarupin’

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #191

“i got a baseball bat beside my bed to fight off what’s inside my head.”

Museum date or aquarium date? I suppose aquarium. Have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? No. Do you play any video games? Yes. Did you ever have an emo or scene phase? Yes. Name a subject you know a lot about. Meerkats. How would you describe your style? Too-Poor-To-Dress-Goth-So-Wears-Band-Merch-And-Graphic-Tees-Instead. What’s something most people love that you hate? Coffee. Who knows the most about you? Sara. Applesauce or pudding? Pudding. If you could create ANY mix-up or mythical animal and have it be brought to life, what would it be? I think I've mentioned a meerkat with butterfly wings before? Or bird wings? Describe a moment that is a prominent memory, but didn’t have a strong impact on your life. Uhhhh there's a lot. One random one would be learning to ride my bike. If there was one problem/issue you could wipe off the face of the earth, what would it be? Ohhhhhhhhhh god, there's so much. Maybe poverty? Do you think everyone in our lives serves a purpose, or are some people just there? In the story of your own life, no, not everyone. How do you feel about getting your picture taken? I hate it. Most embarrassing poster you’ve ever owned? Never owned one I was embarrassed by. When was the last time you were in a public setting and a stranger annoyed you? I'm not sure. Strangest pet peeve? Probably how much I hate people going in/out the wrong door. If you could make a guest appearance in ANY show, which one would you choose? Uhhhh Supernatural, maybe? Who do you think is the most underrated comedian? I don't know enough comedians for this, nevermind less successful ones. Do you always make eye contact with people when you’re speaking to them? No; this is something I'm super awkward about. I don't know how long "normal" eye contact is, so I think it's very easy to notice how, when talking to you, my eyes will suddenly wander. Could you see yourself having a child with the last person you kissed? We physically can't. We both don't want kids, anyway. Who is your favorite person to have random conversations with? SARA. When you were small, did you ever ask where babies came from? If you did, do you remember what your parents told you? I think I did, but I don't remember. What’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given? That I was/am "absolutely beautiful" and deserve "everything in the world." Who did you have your first kiss with? How did you meet that person? Jason. We "met" via Facebook because I accepted his friend request because I thought he was a different Jason lmao. Apparently he saw me in the hall and knew he had to talk to me so somehow found out my name. Which. I still want to know how. I've come to find how creepy our origin story is lol. Have you felt butterflies in your stomach today? No. Did anyone/anything get on your nerves today? No. Think of the person you fell the hardest for. What first attracted you? I don't know which I fell hardest for, honestly... because one was to an unhealthy degree, but my bond with Sara is healthy. I know I'm closer with her than I was Jason, but I guess by definition I still "fell hardest" for him? In that case, I thought he was really unique, even odd, which I appreciated. Has anyone recently found out something you didn’t want them to know? I got to where I told my therapist about the RP hobby, per Mom's and Sara's recommendations. I'm trying to work towards not being so secretive and embarrassed by what I love, so I very slowly got it out to her as practice and as a trust exercise. Is there something you currently want, that you can’t have? HA, there's a lot. A drawing tablet, for one. Who was the last person to make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable? LAAAAAAAAAAAAAWL. Probably the last person I had a social interaction with that wasn't my mother. Think of the last film you watched. Who was your favorite character in it? Buddy (Elf). What color is your couch? Tan. What are you known for? Probably as the unsuccessful, antisocial, lazy 23-year-old that still depends on her mother. Has anyone ever threatened you? Yes. Have you ever been scammed? I don't think so? Are you making sure you’re using your full potential? Boy, I try, but I know I don't. If you have a partner, have you ever had to sleep in separate beds? If you don’t, how would you feel if a future partner wanted separate beds? We're long-distance so like. It'd be a bummer, but that's it; I understand wanting comfort, and even I know sleeping on your own is comfier. I'm just a cuddler and would sacrifice comfiness for the sake of physical closeness. What is something you are skeptical about? People’s intentions. <<<<<< This. Is there a murder case you find absolutely fascinating? I'm sure there's some I've forgotten. What is an unusual item somebody you know owns? Ummmm. OH HA Sara keeps the complete/"good" sheds of the snakes in her room. What’s the oldest TV-show you like? When was it made? I Love Lucy, 1951. If you have a job, do you prefer morning shifts or evening shifts? N/A, but I know I'd prefer morning. Do you have a mug with your name/initials on it? No. Have you ever designed your own mug? No. Is there a game that you excel in? A number. Have you ever been in a row boat? No. What are you most confident about? Most insecure about? Ummm... probably photography, I guess? I'm most insecure about "odd" interests and hobbies. When are you most likely to say something you don’t mean? When I'm angry. When was the last time that you saw fire? I'm not sure. Probably while lighting a match to burn some incense. Do you like wearing sunglasses? Why or why not? No. I don't like my vision being dimmed. What do you think in general of girls with short hair? Rock it. How about guys with long hair? Usually attractive to me. Have you ever seen somebody get shot? No. Would you ever try one of those DNA kits? Totally. With films in languages you do not speak, do you prefer a dub or subtitles? It depends if the voiceovers are convincing or not. Generally, I like those because subtitles distract me. Which cuisine do you like the least? That I've tried, Japanese. Are there any foods you dislike because of the texture? YEAH. LOOOOOTS. Do you let your pets sleep in your bed? Yes, except Bentley. Who are your favorite songwriters? Otep Shamaya probs tops the list. What are your favorite one-hit wonders? YO "My Own Worst Enemy" by Lit is a BOP. Have you ever seen anybody naked by accident? Maybe? Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about a celebrity? ... lol yes. Have you ever changed your clothes in the car? Yeah. About how quickly does your hair grow? UGH, fast. Because I have it short now, it's overgrown in like, two months. It looks awful where it is now, but I should be getting it cut this month. Do you have to/choose to shave anything unusual? Fuck "have to." No one has to shave anything if they don't want to. But anyway, I suppose you can consider above my lip "unusual." Much to my annoyance, I have dark body hair so develop the dreaded "ladystache" if I leave it alone for too long. Do you groom (wax, pluck, or thread) your eyebrows? No. If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands? N/A Did your school have somewhere for girls to get emergency pads/tampons? Yes, but for a bit of change. Fucking stupid. Did you have to take showers after gym before going to your next class? No. Were you in any extracurricular activities or clubs in high school? I was in the art and honors club, but we didn't do after-school activities. Have you ever picked up and kept a rock because it caught your eye? I think. Have you ever laughed at a scene (TV/film) that wasn’t meant to be funny? Ha, I'm sure. Have you seen any Hannibal movies other than The Silence of the Lambs? I haven't even seen that, but I want to. I know it's a classic and have heard great about it from horror fans. Have you read any of the Hannibal novels? No. Do you like any indie movies? Probably. What part of a man’s body do you find most attractive? I'm suuuuch a sucker for prominent shoulder blades/moderately muscular backs. What part of a woman’s body do you find most attractive? I'm weak for hips. Do you think guys look good in makeup? YO most I see doing it fucking rock that shit. I deeply respect guys who embrace their more feminine traits. Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare? No. Do you like bread crust on pizza or do you prefer it cut off? Mmmmm love it. Have you ever driven while drunk/intoxicated? No, absolutely never would. What’s the worst/hardest drug you’ve taken? N/A What is the worst/hardest drug you’ve been offered, but declined to partake in? Nothing. If you’ve ever tried drugs or alcohol, what was your reason for trying it? I was just curious about how it tasted and knew a bit wouldn't hurt me. Do you think you could ever have an abortion if you expectantly turned pregnant? The only way that could currently happen is if I was raped, and I don't know what I'd do. I lean towards carrying it would probably be legit traumatizing to me so yes, but I suppose I'd have to be in that situation (knock the fuck on wood) to truly know. What is the weirdest ailment a pet of yours/your family’s has sustained? Ummm. The weirdest... probably the intestine thing that killed Cato. I can't remember precisely, but I believe it was some type of infection that completely clogged him. Maybe even a disease. If you were far from home and needed to sleep for the night, would you choose to rent a crappy hotel room for $60 or sleep in your car for free? In the car. Is there a situation you caved into peer pressure and regretted it? Maybe? Have you ever been in a relationship that was going great, and then suddenly something weird happened and you just KNEW it was going to be over soon? That happened with Jason. I had this odd feeling something was off for a little while. He was quieter and seemed somewhat depressed, which was totally unlike him. I even asked him quite a bit if something was wrong, but he always reassured me he was fine. Which of the guys you’ve been interested in hurt you the most? lul we knooooow. Do you know anyone who is engaged? Yes. Do you know anybody who is pregnant? Yes. I'm going to one's baby shower next month! What is your relationship status on Facebook? Taken. Would you be able to name everyone you’ve kissed? Yeah. Last person you watched a movie with? Sara, her dad, and I think her mom and one brother was with us? Who has the power to break you? I honestly hope no one anymore, at least not entirely. But Sara comes the closest. Favorite “little kid” movie? TLK. What are you listening to? WoW's Grizzly Hills music. :') Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Sara. Or Mom. It depends on the subject. Do you find smoking unattractive? Very. I think it says something about how much you care for your health. Have you ever just laid down outside and stared at the stars? Yup. Has anyone ever asked you if you were bipolar? I don't believe so. What was the last thing you looked up on Google? Types of rat cancer for that pet ailment question. We don't know with certainty, but that's likely what killed Tezzeret, brain or eye cancer or something like that. Do you lose interest in someone quickly? If you do something stupid, ha, bye. I can lose interest very fast but also slowly. Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? Yes. Does your password have to do with a boy/girl? No. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? Yes. Think back to last year. Who did you like? Sara. How did you meet the last male you called? He's my dad so like- Ever been kissed on the leg? Maybe? What was the last thing you ate? Ham, cheese, and mustard on wheat bread. If you HAD to kiss someone right now, who would it be? Sara. Who was the last person you rode in the car with? Mom. Name some things you love about winter? NOT HOT AS FUCK, snow, frost, gingerbread, chocolate-covered peanuts, I can walk outside without worrying about ticks, my birthday, hot chocolate, looking at Christmas lights/decorations, nice tree designs, Christmas itself... I just love winter. Last person to hear you cry? Probably Mom. How do you feel about your relationship status? I love it. Only thing that could make me happier is if we weren't long-distance. Is it possible to be JUST friends with someone you wanna be with? I dunno. Have you ever been given roses? Yes. Would you ever sky dive? I don't think so. Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your own bed? Sara's bed. If you dated someone that someone else liked, would you rub it in their face? Uh no, I'm an adult. Have you received a text message that made you cry? Yes. What do you think of your country’s education system? If you could change it, what would you do? WOULD YOU LIKE AN ESSAY????????????? I'd change a fucking load of things. If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? No. Is there a celebrity that everyone else seems to love, but you find totally overrated? Why is it that you don’t like them? I'm not in a place to really answer this; I'm not knowledgeable of almost any celebs' lives. Think back to the last time you got really angry. Do you think your anger was justified, or did you act in an over the top way? It was fucking justified. If you could volunteer for any charity, which one would you choose? Do you think it’s more important to help humans, or are animal and environmental charities equally important? Probably one for the environment as far as volunteer work. We're absolutely annihilating our one and only home, and if we don't collectively get our shit together as a species, we're gone. I think both are equally important. Do you have any allergies? If not, what do you think the worst thing to be allergic to would be? Pollen. I think the worst of the ones I know would be any deathly-allergic food, especially those that there are traces of in many foods. What do you think of the term plus-sized in modeling? It is it empowering or demeaning? It's demeaning in its name. Just use "modeling" as the term. "Plus size" just makes it sound as if you're not a "perfect" model. Do you prefer holidays where you relax, or actually do things? Mmm, depends on my mood, honestly. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? No. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? Totally. Do you sleep in a bra? I feel very sorry for anyone who does. Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you? No. Can you suggest someone funny on YouTube? Personally find Game Grumps or Shane Dawson the funniest people on there. Sprite or Mtn. Dew? I hate Sprite, so. Has anyone close to you ever been suicidal? Yes. What is the 10th picture in your phone/camera of? A picture of Roman as a kitten. :') Are you friends with someone who’s autistic? My niece is, if she counts. Has anyone ever walked in on you having sex? No. Have you ever had a Bic Mac? No. I don't like lettuce on burgers. What’s your favorite part about the holidays? Seeing how excited my niece and nephew are. How old is your television? Idk exact years, but we had it before the divorce, so it's been a while. Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color? BITCH I always want my hair an unnatural color. Have you ever been to the zoo before? Yes. If you’re reading a book, what page are you currently on? N/A How many online accounts do you have? Or have you lost count? I've definitely lost count. Have you ever been to a convention? (comic, YouTube, etc.) A reptile one. Have you ever done a first aid course? No. Has anyone ever compared you to someone you don’t like? No, I don't think so. Do elevators freak you out? Yes. How do you find new music to listen to when you want it? YouTube recommendations or Spotify. What is the biggest difference between you and your best friend? OUR FEELINGS TOWARDS MEDICATION. YOU NEED IT SOMETIMES BABE. What is something most people are turned on by but you’re not? Penises in general. I'm still bi, but seeing a dick is just. Ugh they're just hideous to me okay. Is there anything you wish you had done with a current/previous significant other? No. Well, I'm curious how actually deep sex would feel, so I guess I kinda wish Jason and I went that far, especially now that I'll probably never have actual intercourse again, but. Oh well. What are the top three qualities that draw you to a new person? Charismatic, caring, and respectful. What job would you be terrible at and what job would you be good at? Anything dealing with customers; exposing animals to healthy human contact. Do you think that forgiveness is mandatory to move on from something? I think so, to fully move on. Name three things you would buy if you had the money to buy them? A PS4, drawing tablet, totally new and better camera. If you could have a video of one event in your life, what would the video be? Sara's reaction to seeing me in her room on her birthday. Her face was the most priceless thing ever. What did you think was cool when you were younger? Light-up shoes lmao. Who do you wish you could back into contact with and why did you stop in the first place? Megan. She lied about just about everything in her life for pity. When I finally called her out, she was so upset with herself that she like, fell off the face of the earth. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? No, but rather Dad trying to stab me. What’s the most bizarre Horror movie you’ve ever seen? Idk off the top of my head. Would you ever take a Lie Detector test for your significant other? No, but only because I find them as bullshit. Especially as someone with anxiety, I'd be so scared of something showing as a "lie" to remain calm. Plus, a question may just prompt a memory or thought in you that shows up on the test or whatever but isn't related to lying, stuff like that. Ever had a forbidden love or lover? No. Do you like canopy beds? YES. I WANT ONE. If you could summon any animal to come to your rescue, what animal would it be and why? Ummm maybe a bear? They're tanks and super dangerous with their claws, teeth, and muscles.

[nonbinarysasquatch]

An Argument for Rebecca Bunch’s Bisexuality:

So first things first: it should be clear that this post isn’t exploring whether Rebecca is intended to be seen as bi. It’s clear from Rachel and Aline’s comments, and Rebecca saying that she has certain bi tendencies in season 3 are just an exploration of sexual fluidity that Rebecca is not intended to be bi.

It’s also clear that a lot of the things related to Rebecca’s seeming queerness come from Rachel Bloom and I also want to be clear that this isn’t commenting on Rachel Bloom herself as she’s a real person and her business is her business.

This is purely examining why Rebecca can be read as being bi when only looking at the show itself.

In an interesting way, I think Rebecca seems the closest to the experiences of myself and other bi people I’ve known out all the characters. The other queer characters on the show largely eschew stereotypes, but if we ignore authorial intent, in a funny way Rebecca seems most the stereotypical in terms of a queer narrative. She seems a lot like a closeted bi woman who hasn’t broken through her own internalized biphobia.

The hints that Rebecca could be bi begin very early on, particularly in the first episode when she goes to the strip club to look for Josh. Rebecca is sitting right in front of a dancer (in the original pilot she apparently stuck her face in the dancer’s bare chest) and only vaguely seeming to look for Josh. Now, this could be read as Rebecca being in denial (as we know she is) but still… it’s a weird thing to do if you’re a straight woman. But admittedly, this is not out of character for Rebecca.

In the second episode, we are introduced to Josh’s girlfriend, Valencia Perez, who herself is confirmed to be a WLW in season 3. Rebecca, still very much in denial about her feelings for Josh, tries to befriend Valencia, inadvertently becoming the first woman Valencia has ever been able to be close to (and possibly helping to awaken her own queerness.)

Rebecca is clearly jealous of Valencia but also seems to genuinely like her and be attracted to her (keeping in mind “Feelin’ Kinda Naughty” was originally “I Want to Fuck You With My Jealousy Dick” before the show moved to the CW.) And obviously, Rebecca tries to make out with Valencia and is swiftly rebuffed (again, by a woman who herself will later realise her own attraction to women.)

Why does Rebecca do it? She wasn’t doing it to impress Josh, he was clearly uncomfortable with Rebecca and Valencia having anything to do with each other. Valencia wasn’t giving her any signs. And wanting to make out with someone isn’t a typical expression of jealousy. The simplest explanation is that Rebecca misread Valencia’s actions as evidence of attraction, and being impulsive and having boundary issues, Rebecca acted on it, probably with little thought to why she was doing it.

There’s not much for the rest of season 1. Rebecca spends most of season 1 dealing with her feelings for Josh and Greg. The big thing I would talk about though with season 1 is the ways that Rebecca and Darryl are paralleled (something deliberate on the part of the writers.) Both are lonely characters with identity problems. When it comes to loneliness, Darryl and Rebecca do act in similar ways, hatching schemes and even being in denial about their own stalking behaviour. Both can be inappropriate in their efforts to deal with their loneliness.

As far as identity issues goes, when faced with who she really is inside, Rebecca buries it (in season 2 outright expressing disgust for who she really is inside.) Darryl, on the other hand, quickly adapts to realising he’s bi, even proudly announcing it to his employees at work.

The show does other things to parallel Darryl and Rebecca. For instance, they both fall for men named Josh. Darryl even gets Rebecca’s heart flutter theme when he and WhiJo first kiss, something that is otherwise exclusively used for Josh Chan (until “Getting Over Jeff” when it’s used for Paula and Jeff.)

Another interesting level is that Maya is a character that mirrors Darryl. She is also bi and Darryl initially bullies her because she reminds him of himself, especially the parts of himself he doesn’t like.

In the first episode of season 2, one of Rebecca’s most bi moments happens and much like her kissing Valencia in season 1, it makes so little sense if she’s intended to be straight. I am naturally referring to her attempting to seduce Paula, literally feeling up Paula’s crotch with her foot, not even realising she was doing it. Then, having successfully convinced Paula to help her find Greg, Rebecca is clearly turned on by Paula’s hacking. Why? There’s no context for any of this ever given.

It’s not like Rebecca is super horny all episode long or something. Contrarily she has recently been having sex with Josh. It’s not as if there was some subplot about her being sex starved. Rebecca just inexplicably tries to seduce Paula, then gets horny from Paula’s actions and it’s not set up or brought up again.

Several episodes later, Rebecca tries to re-initiate her friendship with Valencia, erm, kidnapping her and taking her to Electric Mesa. Rebecca and Valencia take drugs (accidentally) and bond over both having gotten burned by Josh Chan. They pee on Josh’s equipment and Rebecca expresses excitement over the best part of the experience being that she and Valencia saw each other’s vaginas. And of course, in the tag we see Valencia, ask to see Rebecca’s vagina again. Valencia, who will later end up in a relationship with a woman…

Two episodes later and Rebecca and Valencia are still bonding, Valencia for the first time partaking in criminal shenanigans. Rebecca, apropos of nothing pretends she and Valencia are lesbians who are house shopping, even though no one is actually even around. It should be noted that at the end of the episode, Valencia decides she needs to get laid, picking up a guy at the bar, disappointing Rebecca. Valencia at this time obviously hasn’t embraced her queerness (in fact that’s something that we never really get to see, since it happens in the time jump.)

The rest of season 2, mostly has Rebecca dealing with Josh and Nathaniel, but there is a tiny beat in the video for “So Maternal” when Rebecca imagines two grown women breastfeeding from her. Objectively, this an odd thing for a straight woman to imagine herself doing.

Season 3 is possibly a bit lighter on these Rebecca moments of apparent bisexuality. I’m admittedly in the middle of my current rewatch so I only have notes for the first half of season 3 to look at it.

But obviously, the show for the first time directly acknowledges Rebecca’s apparently bi-curiosity, when Stacy misunderstands, thinking that Rebecca is bi and possibly seducing her. Rebecca denies that she’s bi but backtracks a little and clarifies that she does have certain bi tendencies, saying she’s a 1.8 on the Kinsey Scale. Now obviously, the Kinsey Scale is a very, very outdated model, but even taking the model as it is and looking at Rebecca’s behaviour, a 1.8 seems a bit low.

A point of interest is obviously Valencia ending up in a relationship with another woman. It’s impossible to look at Valencia’s queer narrative and not talk about Rebecca. Rebecca was the first woman she has ever loved. The show makes it abundantly clear how much Rebecca means to Valencia, not only via her outburst in “Josh is Irrelevant” but simply in the number of times Valencia forgives Rebecca. Rebecca has given Valencia every reason to give up on her but Valencia cares enough to remain her friend.

Rebecca is a part of Valencia’s queer narrative. That much is incontrovertible.

The final point I would make about Rebecca really relates to what it can be like to come to your bisexuality (or any sexuality really.) In general, even now, we still live in a culture that is very homophobic and particularly biphobic (which are related things, but biphobia has threads in both other queer people and straight people as well.)

I didn’t wake up one day and realise I was a bi. There was some denial and personal dismissal. I was a teenager in the 90s and back then most people didn’t think of bisexuality as a real thing. So when you are confused because you feel this other thing but are afraid of it because what if it means everything you know is wrong… it’s weird. And it’s easy to dismiss it.

Personally, I was in a relationship for most of my 20s that kept my sexuality (and gender issues) buried. I knew they were there but I chose to believe they weren’t significant or important. And I thought, well, maybe it just isn’t strong enough to call myself bi. I was aware of sexual fluidity. It took time to even let myself explore it.

Rebecca has spent her entire life seeking male attention, obviously eschewing close female relationships until she came to West Covina (and I’m not even going to touch on the DELIBERATE romantic parallels they do with Paula and Rebecca here.)

To me, Rebecca Bunch, regardless of intention, feels like a bi narrative. Will there be any payoff? Unlikely. And hey, this show has done a lot for the bisexual community (literally gifting us with an anthem) and it has multiple bi characters (though I do think readings for Valencia’s sexuality are still open as long as they don’t label her.) So it’s not like I’m going to be pissed and the fact that they even took the time to acknowledge Rebecca’s bisexual tendencies as being a real thing and not just a joke is kind of remarkable.

But it’s not going to be explicit canon. Rachel and Aline don’t think Rebecca is bi. But I certainly do.

[milomeepit]

Jade/Dave/Karkat OT3 Time Y'all

GUESS WHO’S STILL HOMESTUCK TRASH KIDDOS

@theyhoolikeowls

It was never meant to happen like this, you reflected as you fell to your knees in the soft, green grass.

You lived together in Cantown. After everyone made it into the new world- your new world- everything fell into place. You spent most of your days hanging out with your friends. It was amazing, being able to spend time with them for real. Being able to reach out and touch them, not just lay your hand against a cold screen. Everything was perfect. Well, almost.

There were still nights where Karkat woke up screaming from a nightmare. He’d sob against your shoulder as you stroked his fluffy hair, Dave rapping quietly to soothe him. Those were the nights you didn’t sleep at all. After settling him down, watching a romcom with him, Dave would roll over and fall asleep. But you would lie in bed, listening to Karkat’s gentle snores, Dave’s faint wheezing breaths. Your eyes would burn as you stared at the ceiling, your mind racing. Images of your friends- of Dave and Karkat- bleeding. Screaming. Dying. Those were the nights you stayed awake all night, keeping an eye on all of your friends through your space powers.

A little while after coming to the new world, Davepetasprite^2 had shown up. Nobody was quite sure where they’d come from, but they were welcomed nevertheless. Of course, talking to Kanaya, Dave, Dirk, John and yourself, the six of you had been playing with the idea of using your combined powers to pull some of your deceased friends from the old session’s timeline via Dirk’s heart player powers. Nobody had been willing to try it yet though, or even mention it to anyone outside of your own private conversations with one another.

One of the not-so-great things about living so close to your friends was when you blew your fuse. Despite your best efforts, just forcing a happy disposition and getting on with it didn’t work as well face-to-face, and you ended up pretty moody for quite a while after the first time you lost your temper. You had been playing chess with Jake, and he’d continually made moves that weren’t legal, despite your attempts to teach him otherwise. When he moved two pieces during your turn, you had… lost your composure. Karkat understood your anger, and at the time, that had been enough to make you pause midway through trampling a flower patch. He’d let you vent, nudging you to make you lash out at him until all of your pent-up aggression was exhausted. You’d spent the rest of the day together, trying to save the flowers. You tried to apologise a few times for lashing out, but he would cut you off every time, bringing up different movies he thought you might enjoy. Eventually, you’d let it rest, content to spend the time patting soil back into the ground, lifting damaged roots out of the dirt so that the new growth could repair the flower patch, in time.

Speaking of time, Dave hadn’t been altogether happy with that at the time. He got pretty standoffish for a while there, but after some prying, you realised he was jealous. Things ended up happening pretty quickly, you being unable to choose between your boys. You loved them both, but you didn’t want them to fight over you like they’d fought over Terezi. They were friendlier to each other once the three of you had a looooong discussion, and eventually… it all slotted together, including them. You’d tried all sorts of names on what the three of you had that didn’t work, so eventually you gave up trying to call it anything! It was confusing sometimes, but you were all happy. Oh, you still remembered the look on Jake’s face the first time he walked into your shared home to find the three of you entangled and cuddling one another. It brought a smile to your face whenever you thought about it.

After coming into the game, everyone had just kind of found themselves moving in with some of the others. Calliope, Roxy, Jane, John and Mr Crocker lived in a large home a few miles away from you. Terezi and Vriska shared an apartment halfway up the tallest building in town, giving them plenty of freedom to travel all over the city. Dave and Dirk lived together, right next door to Kanaya and Rose, who were two houses down from you and Jake, with Karkat and Gamzee across the road. You’d gotten to know Jake a lot better in that time. Jake… he was such a sweet, oblivious guy. And you appreciated that you both had someone you could talk to. That whole moirails concept really worked after all, you found yourself thinking amusedly.  Although, you didn’t curl up in piles of stuff like the trolls did; you tended to have your heart to hearts in the kitchen while trying to cook some or other fancy or exotic dish that Jake decided looked interesting enough to try. You weren’t a particularly picky eater, so it didn’t bother you what he picked usually. There were some cuisines you drew the line at, though; grubsauce, for example. It was always fun trying out new recipes, and it gave you two a chance to bond and talk about whatever grievances you may currently have with life. You could fondly recall many an afternoon where Jake would end up ranting some long string of explosive gadzookery as he pummelled a hunk of dough into submission.

After several years, one such afternoon of angst-induced cooking had led into a picnic with the whole gang. After helping you set up the food, Jake had immediately gone off to find Dirk. Rose and Kanaya had claimed a spot under a nearby tree and were talking quietly, gazing up at the sky. The then-dubbed ‘Crocker Clan’ had arrived a little late, but Mr Crocker, being his usual self, had baked an apology cupcake along with the other desserts he had brought, which he presented to you rather sheepishly. You laughed it off and waved for them to sit down with you. Vriska and Terezi brought Gamzee with them, brushing off your questioning with a shrug before they wandered off to go play soccer with Dirk and Jake.

Even after the soccer game had finally finished and the players had sat down, out of breath and all laughing as Jake nursed a small bruise on his cheek from a particularly vicious kick of Vriska’s, neither Dave or Karkat had shown up yet. You bit your tongue, telling yourself that they wouldn’t miss this. They knew how hard you and Jake had worked organising the event. They’d be there. However, as the sun began to lower, and the day dipped into late afternoon with no sign of them, you couldn’t help but frown. John asked you what was wrong, and you hesitantly explained, not wanting to sound whiney or like a drag. He bit his lip and shrugged. That was when the tears began to fall, fogging up your glasses. You pulled them off and wiped them absentmindedly, staring at your lap as you continued to cry, your vision blurring further and further as the minutes ticked by.

Eventually, a pale hand reached past the dark curtain of your hair and tipped your chin up. You sniffled as two blurry figures came into focus. The pair of them were kneeling down in front of you, and the grey blur was clutching something to his chest possessively. Hushed voices spoke comforting words, repeating apologies over and over to you as the hand left your chin to take your glasses from your limp hands and set them back on your face. As Dave and Karkat came back into focus, they exchanged a look and Karkat opened the box. Sparkling silver, with tiny diamonds around a green tourmaline stone, it brought tears to your eyes all over again as you tackled them both in a hug, the rest of your friends cheering and smiling around you.

It was perfect. The Crockers worked with an almost superhuman ethic to make the perfect cake. There was a lot of time spent tasting cake, to the point you began to worry if Kanaya would need to remeasure the three of you for your outfits, Terezi helped pick out flowers with gorgeous colours and scents, Jake rabbited on about different ideas for the honeymoon, different adventures the three of you could partake in, and the outfits… oh, the outfits Kanaya made. Crisp, elegant red and black suits for your boys, and a stunning light green dress. The bodice, tiny beads all over shining in the light. The skirt flared out from your waist, floating around your ankles in foamy, light layers of fabric. You were speechless the first time you tried it on. Dave simply repeated over and over how pretty you looked, making you giggle. It was Karkat who picked up on the small request you had made of Kanaya, commenting that the bodice was a little baggy around your stomach. You exchanged a conspiratorial smile with Kanaya before he clicked and started bellowing excitedly. Both of them crowded up to your stomach, feeling it, despite the fact you wouldn’t start showing for another few weeks at least.

On the day itself, you noticed an extra layer on the skirt, covered with itty bitty baubles. You hardly had time to question Kanaya about it, though, before you were thrust into the flurry of activity that was the wedding. As you stepped onto the length of carpet marking the aisle, a movement from Rose, standing at the front with the rest of the bridesmaids, caught your eye. She pressed a small button on a little remote, and you heard various exclamations around you. You looked down at your dress and froze, gazing at it in awe as tiny lights came to life, twinkling like stars in the night sky. You laughed a little, giddy with excitement, before looking up and spotting Dave, his mouth hanging slightly open, scarlet eyes wide and hands dropped by his sides, and Karkat, pale red tears leaking from his eyes as he smiled, fiddling with his wrist cuffs slightly as he tried to suppress that adorable fidgety thing he did when he got emotional.

The reception was great fun, too. You’d never seen so many people trying to get John to eat cake before! You’d laughed as Roxy and Jane held his arms back while Calliope admonished them, her scolding somewhat lost in between her giggles. Dirk had done the full baby-airplane routine with a tiny spoon of cake as John struggled and squealed. Eventually he had given in and, surprisingly, actually liked the cake. He’d ended up eating quite a few slices.

Life was good. Weeeell, in between rushes to the bathroom, vomiting, cravings for weird food and mood swings, that was. As you’d declined to have any kind of ultrasounds, you still didn’t know the gender of the baby, but they were certainly a big one! You felt as big as a hot air balloon, and you’d had to monstrify almost everything in the house so that all three of you could still fit in the bed, on the couch… the list went on. You were sitting in Rose and Kanaya’s sitting room, talking to Kanaya about baby clothes, when Rose suddenly walked in holding her crystal ball and grabbed her keys, telling you to get into her car. You were about to ask her why when the first contraction hit. On the way to the medical centre, she explained that she’d been looking into the future to try and keep an eye on any possible complications and foresaw that you were due.

There was some trouble, something to do with the baby needing to turn, and the doctor had to knock you out and do a Cesarean. Dave and Karkat were sitting on either side of you when you woke up. You blearily asked them what was happening, and Dave laughed a little, holding out a small bundle in a blanket. You sat up and almost crashed into Karkat, who was busy nursing a second bundle, which confused you for a few moments until they explained that the bump that you had all assumed was one really big baby had in fact been two slightly-smaller-than-average babies. Twins, a boy and a girl. They both had dark hair, the boy inheriting your clear green eyes while the girl had sparkling red eyes like Dave. You named them Jesse and Taylor, ecstatic with your surprise.

Karkat seemed somewhat distant after the twins were born, though. He helped look after them, and still spent time with you and Dave, but he was drifting away from the two of you. As you sat in the twin’s nursery one night, rocking them to sleep, your eyes filled with tears and you let out a choked sob. You couldn’t lose him. You loved him. Both of you did. By the time that Dave appeared in the doorway, a sheet still tangled around his legs, boxers half-twisted around his waist and sunglasses propped crookedly on his face to protect his sensitive eyes from the light, you were crying wholeheartedly, sobbing into your hands as the twins whimpered in distress. He wrapped his arms around you, rocking the twin’s cribs with his feet as he asked you what was wrong. Despite your being only able to choke out Karkat’s name weakly, his frown indicated he knew what you meant. Karkat, the heaviest sleeper of the three of you, finally came lumbering down the hallway at that moment, cursing sleepily and asking what was happening. It all came out of you in a flood. Karkat seemed to shrink before your eyes as you yelled and pleaded and cried. Dave stayed silent, staring down at the ground in silent despair as you finished your tirade. Karkat mumbled something about species, and you heard rather than felt your feet thump across the floor before you smacked him across the face. Tears streamed down both of your cheeks as you grabbed one another in a hug, Dave quietly rocking the twins so that they didn’t freak out. You sternly explained to Karkat that it didn’t matter whether he was a troll or a whale, he was part of your family, and he was the twin’s father, regardless of genetics (it wasn’t like any of you had a nuclear family anyway) and more so, he was yours and Dave’s crabby little troll and you both loved him. The last thing you remembered from that night was the three of you curled up on the floor in the twins room, Karkat sandwiched between you and Dave as the three of you drifted off to sleep.

The years flowed by, with their ups and downs. Davepetasprite^2 occasionally still brought up the idea of combining your powers, the concept dubbed ‘Operation Ghost Warp’, but every time, somebody had some sort of argument against it, that it was too risky to try at that point. The twins grew up, Jesse taking to playing with dolls and wearing princess outfits that Kanaya made for him, and Taylor becoming infatuated with playing sports, collecting bugs and climbing trees, her clothing usually covered in mud and other debris by the end of the day. One day when the twins were around 5, Taylor had come flying into the kitchen with something cupped in her hands, begging you to let her keep it. You had some experience with her shenanigans at this point, though, and asked what it was before you agreed. She proudly presented a gigantic, hairy spider with red eyes and teeth that were so large they seemed out of proportion to it’s head. You gave a little scream and stepped back, stuttering that it was far too large to keep in the house and could she please get it out of the kitchen right this instant? Taylor had glanced down at the spider and frowned, her brow furrowing as she concentrated, squinting at the spider. A familiar green glow surrounded the spider and it shrank to half it’s size. Taylor smiled up at you hopefully, eyes wide, but you were too busy being shocked. That night, when the boys got home, you called them into the living room and quietly asked Taylor to show Daddy and Papa what she’d done to the spider. Karkat shrieked a little and hid behind Dave when the spider grew to the size of a dog, and even stoic Dave jumped a little. When you asked her who had taught her how to do that, she simply beamed and proudly exclaimed that nobody had taught her, she and Jesse had figured it out all by themselves!

That had led to a series of adventures over the years, shenanigans as your children figured out their powers, a strange mixture of the Space, Time and Blood aspects. There were several times that they managed to warp themselves into somewhere they couldn’t get out of, or messed with the timeline or people’s loyalties to one another, and you, Dave or Karkat had to clean up the mess. Some people said parenting was hard. Other people said it was easy. You were still trying to figure it out yourself, but you three could all agree that while it had its trials, parenthood certainly was rewarding.

Everything slipped into a routine. You’d all have breakfast together, and the boys would go to work; Dave to the Mayor’s office to work on the law enforcement sector with Terezi, and Karkat off the preschool. You’d make lunch for the twins and take them to school, then hang out with Jake, possibly help him and Dirk with their latest renovation scheme, and then head off for your shift at the Crockers’ bakery. After a few hours of helping Jane and Roxy decorate cakes and gossiping, you’d go over to pick up the twins, head home and paint for a while until the boys got home, then the five of you would start making dinner.

However, one day while you were driving the twins home, you received a text from Davepetasprite^2. It simply read, ‘It’s time.’ Your breath caught. You swung by the Town Hall and the preschool to pick up the boys, explaining vaguely to Karkat that you and Dave had to go do some Space-Timey stuff for the others and asking him if it was okay if you left him alone with the twins for a bit. He smiled and nodded, saying it was fine. Dave glanced at you, a small, hopeful smile on his face. After dropping off the other three, the pair of you grabbed hands and warped to the park to meet the others.

The group had arranged themselves in a V formation, with a space at the point for you, and Kanaya, Dirk, Davepetasprite^2 and John fanning out, leaving a space for Dave slightly behind and to the side of you. You pulled open a crack in the air, a green and black void crackling on the other side. Dave, Dirk and Davepetasprite^2 all began searching for the old session to find the others and pull them through, with Kanaya standing by to help you seal the crack up in a hurry if need be. You all strained for a good few minutes before Dirk called out that he could feel something. A few seconds later, Nepeta tumbled through, looking rather ruffled and confused. Before she had a chance to ask, Dave yelled that something was wrong. Davepetasprite^2 shouted for you and Kanaya to close it, now. You paused for a few seconds, unsure, and a large green hand forced its way out, followed by the rest of the horrifically large, grotesque body that belonged to the cherub.

A chorus of screams rang out, and you warped everyone out of the park in a panic, tumbling into your living room. Karkat jumped to his feet, opening his mouth to ask what was happening, but you cut him off, sweeping him and the twins into your arms as tears started to pour down your face, choking out that you loved them and you were sorry, that it was all your fault, babbling incoherently for a few seconds before Karkat shut you up with a kiss, cradling your cheek in his hand. You paused, chest heaving, as he told you that it wasn’t your fault, and nobody had to blamed for it, all your team had to do was do damage control and fight for your world. You told the twins to stay in the house, no matter what, and that you and Daddy and Papa loved them so, so much, clutching them close as you caught your breath.

The adults all rushed outside as several earth-shattering crashes tore through the air, pulling out weapons that had not seen the light of day for many years. John held the Warhammer of Zillyhoo, Rose held her Thorns of Oglogoth, Jake was duel-wielding his Flintlocks of Zillyhau, Dirk with his Unbreakable Katana, Roxy had her Laser Gun, Jane had her Skaia War Fork, Dave with Caledfwlch, Karkat holding the Homes Smell You Later Sickles and you held The Girl’s Best Friend in your shaking hands. It hurt, so much, to see them all scared and angry and ready to fight. The rest of the trolls held weapons you just could not name. You all launched into battle, and everything passed in a blur. It could have been minutes later, or it could have been hours later, but out of the corner of your eye, you saw Karkat leap at Lord English, screaming at the top of his lungs. You saw the golden gun raise, the muzzle lighting up brightly as Karkat jerked in midair, his eyes still glaring at his target, burning with hatred. He fell to the ground, covered in bright candy-red blood, and you heard Dave scream as if from very far away as he stopped moving.

It was never supposed to be like this, you repeated in your head as the gun turned to you.