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thehoodsweetheart · 4 years ago

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Sandcastles | Part III.

A/N: Sandcastles is officially a series! I really hope this is up to par. Please excuse the mistakes.

Warnings: Fuckboy!Erik (?), Angst!, Use of the N-word (I’m Black. I have that right).

Summary: If you have not read Sandcastles Part 1 and Part 2, please do so before reading this. Although, it may not be totally necessary to do so but it helps. The reader is a Black Woman, always has been always will be.

Word Count: 2.4K

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Fear. Erik didn’t possess the concept of fear. He’d overcome that emotion in his early years. Somewhere between finding his father dead and his first mission as a secret operative, that feeling had been wiped from him. At least that’s what Erik believed. Who could possibly still possess that emotion after witnessing and partaking in such horrendous acts? Fear equated weakness and he prided himself of not being weak, never letting anyone in close enough to expose a weakness. That was until he did. He let you in.

When Erik realized that he let you in, he tried to push you away but you didn’t tolerate it. This was before you and Erik were even in a “real” relationship. Erik thoughthe was able to give people the cold shoulder, but yours could get colder. Erik had grown accustomed to stringing women along, fucking them, leaving them, and popping back up whenever he felt like it. When he attempted to ghost you, you completely ghosted him. You did not go for the ‘I’ll pop up in a few months to see if I can still hit’ game. When he saw you on what he thought was a date, he lost it. He wasn’t going for that shit. He knew that he had to make y’all relationship real. Erik fearedlosing you. This was something he would have to come to terms with quite a few times. He actually feared losing and loving you.

This kind of fear was one that perplexed him. He wasn’t like he was afraid you could get him killed or kill him. He’d done his research after meeting you the first time. This fear was childish in Erik’s mind. It was the fear parents provoke when they threaten to take away something after you misbehave. One where you know you could live without it but you still feel like you need that thing or just really want to keep it. Or possibly it was the fear of what became his new normal being stripped from him? It wracked his brain until he’d have a lapse in judgment. The fear of loving you led to him doing things that would risk you leaving. It was a cycle.

The birth of Iman only added to his paranoia. He never put much thought into having children because he simply never thought he would live long enough to have them. When Iman was born, he questioned everything he’d ever did wrong. Was he even good enough to have a love so pure? What if his past came for him and he lost you and Iman? He feared walking into a repeat of his childhood. His father’s death haunted him. Death was something he could accept. It was second nature but not with you two. Erik would give his life to spare you both.

These thoughts invaded his brain as he sat in a long drawn out meeting. Queen Mother Ramonda came to Los Angeles for the benefit and there was quite a bit of business to handle since she was in town. Erik was the first to present her updates with his social outreach work at the center, along with some technological advances he worked on with Shuri. But once he was done presenting, his thoughts began to invade him. Erik constantly checked his watch and peered out of the closest window spacing out. For the start of the day, Erik felt normal coming back to work, confident even. There was a shift. He could feel it in his stomach as if something wasn’t right. It could have been paranoia.

Erik received a notification to his phone that only heightened his paranoia. Iman’s Kimoyo beads dropped offline. It wouldn’t have been odd but this was the third time he’d gotten this notification that day. Iman’s Kimoyo beads never went off more than once, two times max. Why would Y/N take off Iman’s kimoyo beads so many times in only a few hours? His leg bounced as he slouched into his seat bringing his hand that now formed a tight fist to his mouth. It didn’t help that Y/N’s kimoyo beads had been offline since the night of the benefit. They were the final item Y/N threw at him before leaving.

Erik’s eyes scanned the room as if he was searching for an answer that was obviously not in that conference room. Shuri shot him a quizzical look. He could only assume she had received the notifications for Iman. By the time the meeting wrapped up, Erik had not received a new notification signaling that they were back online. It had been 32 minutes since the last alert. He didn’t need his iPhone to tell him that. He had counted. He brushed past everyone being the first to exit the conference. He needed to figure out what was going on. He knew he could easily check once he was in the privacy of his own office. Before he could reach his office, he felt a small hand grab his shoulder. Erik spun around with annoyance only to see Shuri with a concerned look on her face.

“Hey cuz…Is everything cool? Have you talked to Y/N? Iman is still showing offline.” Shuri asked with her eyebrows furrowed together.

“Don’t even worry about it lil cuz. I’m about to give her a call now.” He tried to wave her off and continue his walk to his office. Shuri stopped him again.

“You know, I know right? I’m young but I’m smarter than you, American.” Shuri teased. Erik scoffed. “I’ll do an override to tap into the beads. See if Y/N left your sorry ass…again” She whispered her disapproval.

“Nah, I don’t need you doin all that. Y’all all up in my business bad enough as it is. Iman probably had an accident and needed to take an extra bath.” Erik stared down Shuri with cut eyes.

“We wouldn’t be in your business, if you didn’t mix business with pleasure in your office…and if that scenario makes you feel better, believe what you want. WHEN you need an actual answer I’ll be in my lab.” Shuri waved her hand turning to leave him.

“Yeaaa…please focus on something important kid. I know you have some new developments that you haven’t completed yet. Maybe a new toy?”

Shuri rolled her eyes raising her hand holding a middle finger high, unaware of her mother sauntering through the hallway.

“Shuriiii”, Ramonda scolded. Shuri groaned stomping away. Erik chuckled only to earn a side-eye from his aunt. She mumbled a ‘mmhmm’ before walking away.

Erik entered his office immediately dialing Y/N’s number. He listened to it ring for a while before going to voicemail. He tried not to think much of it. That was his first time calling her. Erik hung up dialing her number again only to get the same result. He took in an uneasy breath trying to calm his heartbeat. He took a seat at his desk, his leg bouncing as he debated if he should call her for a third time back to back. You normally answered his calls if he called twice in a row, even if you answered just to tell him you’d call him back. He decided against calling again. Erik knew he should give you some time and not let his paranoia overtake him. Maybe he was too used to you being available? Or maybe Shuri was right?

He couldn’t fight the urge anymore. Erik swiveled around in his chair, his fingers moving with no hesitation as he logged into his work computer. It had been 44 minutes since Iman’s kimoyo beads sent the last notification with no indication that they were back online. He doubled clicked the icon for the program that allowed him to view the activities in his home via the cameras he installed throughout the house. Each room assigned to its appropriate label.

The first room to come into view was the living room showing no sign of disturbance. Erik could feel his adrenaline spike as he double clicked the label for Iman’s room. Her nursery appeared but he could see her crib was empty but the kimoyo beads lay in the center of it. Did she bounce and take the baby? What if she just left to run errands and the Kimoyo beads fell off by accident? Or she could be giving Iman a bath. Erik hoped it was one of the later scenerios. His chest tightened as he scrolled through the current activity of the various rooms seeing that Y/N and Iman were not at home. But where could they be? He gave Y/N a call once more. This time it went straight to voicemail.

He picked up his office phone about to dial his assistant’s phone number when it hit him. He no longer had an assistant. The intern, Arya, was taking on the role as his assistant. In the past six months she had full access to his schedule, followed him around everywhere, and managed to keep up with him without getting in his way. That was until they crossed that professional friendly line and began an affair two months ago. For Erik the affair was a physical thing, no real emotion lived there. Nonetheless, Arya was not worth losing his family over. When T’Challa made the decision to let her go during Erik’s one-week leave of absence, he didn’t care. That was one step towards fixing world that crumbled before him.

Erik opted to call Shuri instead. He knew Y/N formed a close bond with Shuri and Nakia over the past few years. It was strong possibility that Shuri could get an answer from Y/N faster. He wasn’t going to lie to himself and say she had forgiven him completely. Shuri answered in a knowing tone.

“Did Y/N mention her next doctor’s appointment?” Erik’s voice rushed almost sounding as if his question was one word.

“Whoaa, slow down. It’s not until next week or something but I don’t keep your wife’s schedule. You should know that.”

“Tell him to stop trying to spy on his family from his computer.” T’Challa interjected only for Erik to smack his teeth.

“Nigga nobody’s spying. I’m trying to make sure they’re okay.” Erik countered.

“Ah, is that what we’re calling it now? Okay. Well maybe you should head home? You probably won’t stop checking the cameras until you see them come back anyway.”

“Shit nigga, wouldn’t you?! I knew I shouldn’t have come into work today. I could’ve did that damn presentation from my home office.” Erik ranted as he snatched his blazer from the couch in his office. He scrambled to put it on while looking for his keys.

Erik quickly ended the call rushing out to his Acura NSX. He sped the entire way home. Despite trying to be optimistic and think they were running errands, something just didn’t feel right. It was nagging at him since the meeting. Maybe it was his conscious reminding him that he still fucked up and needed to right his wrongs with his wife? But after last night and this morning, the way she screamed his name and clung to him, just as she always had, he thought he still had time to fix things.

He arrived to the house in record time. He walked in calling Y/N’s name only to be met with silence. He checked the garage seeing that your car was in fact gone. Erik clenched and unclenched his fist while beginning to count backwards from ten. The pressure he was feeling in his chest was beginning to weigh him down. He couldn’t explain why he was anxious about walking upstairs in his own house to his own room. Nevertheless, his feet carried him there.

He reached their taking in his surroundings. The gleam from your 7-karat pear shaped diamond ring caught his attention. Approached the nightstand noticing the handwritten note under your ring. He read and reread the note three times trying to internalize what you wrote. His nostrils flared as his eyes began to burn. He balled up the note with hast throwing it across the room. He screamed ‘fuck’ storming out of the master bedroom. You really left him and you took his heart with you, Iman. To top it off, you didn’t want to be apart of this new pregnancy. His chest heaved just thinking about it.

Erik made his way to Iman’s nursery seeing the closet was open. For whatever reason, he hadn’t noticed her closet while checking the cameras earlier. His mind was centered on the Kimoyo beads then. Iman’s closet was practically empty. There were only a couple of onesies and dresses left. He counted five. Erik walked over to Iman’s crib grabbing the plush pink elephant that Iman loved. He leaned over the crib’s railing clutching the stuffed animal inhaling its scent. Y/N really took his baby. His family was gone.

The sound of slamming doors followed by the doorbell ringing snapped him out of his thoughts. Using the back of his hand, he wiped his tears. He rushed downstairs hoping it was his wife, but why would she show up after writing that note. He opened the door without even checking to see whom it was, only to reveal two men in khaki colored uniforms. He squared his shoulders feeling his internal rage grow.

“Who the fuck are y’all?” Erik barked. The men blinked a couple times looking taken aback.

“Uhh…Umm…We’re from Enterprise Moving company. We were sent to get Mrs. Udaku-Steven’s belongings.” The shortest one stuttered. Erik’s frown deepened.

“Y’ALL NOT TAKIN’ SHIT! GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY!” Erik slammed the door in their faces and immediately went to call you.

He got your voicemail once again. It took his entire strength not to throw his phone. There were knocks at the door followed by the doorbell once again. He clenched his jaw as he heard the moving men asking his to open the door. Erik decided to text you.

You better call that moving company and tell them to leave before I body ALL these mothafuckas!

Erik knew you were screening your calls. It was confirmed when his text appeared as read a minute later. The gray bubbled with three dots popped up, then went away, and popped up again before going away. His phone began to ring as you picture appeared. He pressed the green button answering. Before he could even say hello, your voice blared through the speaker.

“ERIK! PLEASE DON’T!”

Tag list:

@purple-apricots @chaneajoyyy @toniilaney @wakanda-inspired @almeda-344 @desireatatyana

@wakandalivesforever @yoyolovesbucky @beaut1fulone-blog @sarcastic-sunshines

@elaindeereads @soufcakmistress @bujotellsyourstory @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir

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thehoodsweetheart · 4 years ago

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Sandcastles

A/N: I haven’t written in a very long time so please be gentle with me. I got in the mood to write and thought, why not? Loosely proofread it. I hope it’s not complete trash. :( Anyways, Auntie Bey releasing Lemonade for streaming gave your girl some inspo. Please comment and let me know your thoughts.

Word Count: 2,471

Warnings: Slight Angst (?), Violence, Hints of emotional abuse, Fuckboy Erik

Summary: You love Erik, but you can’t let him compromise your integrity.

Erik x Black Reader (will always be a Black reader. Sorry not Sorry).

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The iPhone’s screen illuminated white with its signature black apple dead center. You inhaled deeply letting out an exasperated breath awaiting the lock screen to appear. You used your thumb to spin the wedding ring around your finger. Your eyes shifted from the device to the house you were parked in front of. It was large modern styled house, almost as if it were overcompensating for something. The lawn was well manicure yet it showed no semblance of life. At 11:45 AM, not a single light peaking from any of the vast windows, or a single car in the winding driveway to give the impression that someone was ‘home’. Great… This was your home.

The chiming of the overbearing amount of notifications snapped out of your daze. You furrowed your eyebrows together immediately turning off the ringer to silence the noise. 587 text messages, 107 missed calls, 107 voicemails to accompany those missed calls, and let’s not count the emails, Instagram DM’s, and Facebook messages. They were pretty much all from Erik, except for a few texts from your best friend Samantha, Shuri, and T’Challa. Nonetheless, their texts were probably due to Erik pestering them.

Five days. That’s how long you were gone. Five days since your phone was last turned on. You thought Erik should have given up after the first 20 unanswered calls and text messages. You made it very clear that you done this time. Matter of fact, you promised you were done. You opened the stream of Erik’s texts trying to scroll as much as you could to get a glimpse where he was mentally. His texts went from being riddled with arrogance and indifference, in true Erik Stevens form, to desperate and apologetic, then came the slue of “I love you’s”. You slouched in your seat behind the steering wheel and continued to skim the texts rolling your eyes.

The most recent voicemail from Erik made your chest tight as a lump formed in your throat. His voice was laced with venom.

Y/n, you really on some bullshit! How many times do a nigga have to apologize love? I’ve been calling you like I’m FUCKIN’ CRAZY! (He chuckles darkly.)You really gone walk away from everything like that baby? You left me here with our daughter and you don’t even give a fuck. What if something happened to Iman and I was trying to let you know? What the fuck kind of mother are you!? (Iman cried in the background.)

How dare he use her against you? You blinked away tears thinking of your 8-month-old daughter. You loved Iman with your entire being. She was literally the light of your life and string of hope that love still remained in your marriage. You never wanted to leave her but you couldn’t stay. There was also no way in hell Erik would let you take her with you. The night you left he refused to let you take her. Now he was trying to guilt trip you.

Erik cheated.This wasn’t his first affair either. You honestly questioned if this was truly the second affair. You guys were nearing your third year of marriage and he’d already been caught having an affair prior to this. The first time was during your first year of marriage. You’d questioned why he even married you in the first place, but he swore he loved nobody like he loved you and couldn’t live without you. Like the naïve girl you were, you forgave him. This time you couldn’t. You promised if he cheated again, you would walk away and never look back.

–

Erik followed you into you guys shared home, loosening his tie and shrugging out of his tuxedo jacket. You all were just returning home from a benefit hosted by the Wakandan Outreach Center. His eyes fixed on your ample rear-end and wide set hips as they swayed with your vigorous walk. Your black body-con dress flattered every curve. He noted your postpartum weight had provided you with some desirable assets.

He was hot on your trail as you reached the kitchen opening the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water.

You needed a drink of water to hopefully ease the nauseous feeling that developed mid-dinner. As the benefit went on, you were left with your thoughts, which only made you feel worse. On the surface you played it cool, keeping a warm smile and socializing with the benefit goers but still keeping a watchful eye on your husband…and his intern. She felt no shame in openly flirting with him as he fed right into it with his dimpled smile and occasional wink.

Erik snaked an arm around your waist pressing his groin into your butt. You shrugged him off of you rounding the island that centered the kitchen. Erik scoffed in annoyance.

“What the fuck is wrong with you now?”

“YOU-you’re fucking your intern!” The words spilled out of your mouth like word-vomit as tears threatened the rims of your eyes.

Erik clenched and unclenched his jaw before squaring his shoulders his feet planted apart. His almost natural militant stance still screamed righteousness no matter if he had just been called out.

“What intern?” He arched his brow with a smug look.

Before you could think twice, you snatched off your So Kate pumps and threw them directly at his head missing by a few centimeters. He stood there with a look of bewilderment. You knew it would only be a matter of time before he’d try to come after you and that’d be your ass.

“Fuck you Erik! You know exactly who I’m talking about! HOW LONG HUH?! I saw the text messages and nasty ass pictures she sent you last night! Distasteful bitch! Was it her in the video that you lied and tried to say it was random porn?! You must think I’m fuckin stupid!” You screamed.

You grabbed the closest thing to you, which was an empty glass bowl and hurled it in his direction. Your vision was blurred with tears but your aim was still pretty accurate. Maybe playing softball in your youth did pay off. The bowl hit his built shoulder and went crashing on the floor.

“Stop throwing shit! YES I FUCKED HER OKAY?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO KNOW? And it was her in the video. But I don’t give a fuck about her!” Erik barked as he stormed toward you.

You might’ve been pissed but you were still a smart bitch. You dodged his reach picking up another dish to throw at him before scurrying to the farther side of the kitchen. You didn’t care if he gave a fuck about his intern or not, he still fucked her. He still made the conscious decision to break your trust and ruin the small family you were building. Your chest heaved as angrily wiped the makeup stained tears from your cheeks.

“YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME EITHER! You only care about yourself! You disgust me. I put my dreams and career on hold to cater to you. I never wanted to be a stay at home mom and you knew that! Yet I still did it for us, so that our daughter could at least be around one of her parents consistently. You’re hardly ever home these days! You treat me like shit! You lie to me! You never have time for me. You cheat on me with God only knows how many other women! I’M DONE!”

–

You wipe your stray tears stuffing the phone into your hoodie’s pocket. Your shaky hands fiddled with the keys before pulling them out of the ignition. You quickly get out of your Range Rover Velar and stroll towards the house. You unlock the house to be met with silence and the familiar scent of home. The scent was a mixture of fresh linen and lavender vanilla from your favorite candles.

You eyes scanned the first floor of the open floor plan home. There was still no sign of Erik. You blew out a sign of relief as you ventured further into the house. You walked into the living room seeing some of Iman’s toys and a blanket thrown about. Out of habit you collect them, putting them in their respectful places before folding her baby blanket and laying it in the play-pin she had in the living room. A couple pairs of his shoes littered the floor and one of Iman’s bottles. Like her mom, Iman liked to throw things and with good aim.

“You would think he’d be neater being in the Navy and all.” You scoffed rolling your eyes.

He actually was neat. Often times, neater than you so seeing things out of place were odd. You knew Erik was probably ready to pull his dreads out having to deal with Iman alone for five days. Iman was definitely a busybody, despite not walking yet she could manage to crawl and climb whatever whenever she got the chance. He could finally see how you felt… aside from being cheated on.

A sizable gold photo frame laid faced down on the end table near where most of Iman’s mess was. You picked up the photo taking in the details of its broken glass before focusing in on the actual picture. It was a picture of your wedding day. Another item you attempted to throw at Erik in your heated rage. You and Erik looked like a genuinely happy couple there, nothing forced like the past few months were. You placed your hand over your mouth to hush your sobs. How could you have gotten to this point?

You were never a violent person. You weren’t even easily angered. You were always cool and collected trying to see a positive in any situation. Conflict just wasn’t your thing but mostly due to you being so sensitive. Erik had always joked that you were the calm to his storm. That you were, the calm always willing to offer comfort and rationality so when it came to the point where your love was being taken advantage of you exploded. It was your turn to bring the storm.

Erik stood in the distance taking in the sight of you. Your curly hair thrown in a messy topknot as a few tight curls escaped, hanging freely around your face. Your honey brown golden skin looked like it lost a bit of color, as if you were indoors for the entire five days or maybe sick. Your almond shaped eyes were puffy, nose a bit red, and already full lips looked a little swollen. No matter how disheveled another person may have thought you looked, he saw your beauty. The same beauty that captured him from the first moment he set eyes on you. Erik’s face contorted into a frown as he hastily wiped his own tears.

You must’ve felt him staring because you looked up only to lock eyes with him. Your breathing hitched as he walked closer to you but you didn’t move, you couldn’t move. Here was the alleged love of your life and very sight of him made you want to punch him in the face, vomit, cry, hate him, love him and be held all at the same time. It physically pained your stomach.

Erik reached out and touched your hand causing you to pull back as if being shocked by electricity.

“I just came to get my things. I’ll be leaving shortly.” You said just above a whisper your eyes shifting to the floor.

“Please-please don’t leave.” Erik croaked only to be met with silence. You stared at him with a blank expression.

“Where’s Iman?” You muttered.

“She’s in her nursery taking a nap.” He sounded defeated as he tossed the baby monitor on the couch. You nodded attempting to walk around him only to be stopped.

“Wait! I-I know I fucked up. I just want to apologize baby. I was wrong for being a fucked up husband and cheating. I was being selfish. I felt like I was losing myself by giving my all to you and I’m sorry. I allowed my ego get the best of me. You didn’t deserve none of the shit I put you through–”

“You’re right you are selfish. You ain’t shit for what you did to me.” You cut him off.

He dropped his head looking at his feet. Erik nodded before looking into your eyes and grabbing your hands. His large calloused hands engulfing your small delicate ones.

“Just hear me out Y/N. I love you with all of my being. You and Iman are the best things that have ever happened to me and I don’t even deserve y’all. I can’t take losing another person I love. I need you baby. If I gotta beg you for your forgiveness everyday I will. I already fired her. Shit, I’ll even go to marriage counseling. Whatever it takes. We can re-build; take it as slow as you need…Fuck! I don’t—I can’t let you walk away. Just don’t leave me baby.” Erik gripped your hips his fingertips digging into your flesh.

Your gaze studied the intricate scars adorning his forearms. Without thought, your fingers traced the pattern. He leaned down pressing his forehead against yours. You dared not to look in his eyes. A teardrop hitting your nose caught you off guard. You took in a sharp breath chewing on your bottom lip. In the many years of knowing your husband, you can count on one hand how many times you’d seen him cry. You draped your arm around his neck stroking the back of his head.

“It’s going to take more than an apology to get your family back. I refuse to raise childrenin a toxic environment.” You said just above a whisper.

Iman’s wails echoed through the baby monitor. You immediately broke away from Erik rushing up the stairs to her nursery. You missed your baby and not having her was the worse part of those five days. You scooped Iman up in your arms rocking her as you kissed all over her round golden face. Her cries subsided as she offered you a two-toothed grin flexing the dimples in her chubby cheeks, Erik’s dimples.

“Mommy’s here. I’m so sorry my sweet girl.” You clung to her as tears fell down your cheeks.

“Y/N…” Erik called out as he stood in the doorway with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

You turned around to face him with a raised eyebrow.

“I found the pregnancy tests in our bathroom.” Erik stated plainly.

You never got around to telling him but you’d known you were pregnant for at least two weeks.

“I never hid them…”

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