#//< love the way you think my freind | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

scourgeofmyownbrain · 7 months ago

Text

More "Bumblebee and Optimus meeting as ✨Adults✨ but still being Father and Son" stuff I came up with, plus extra because I can't get these chuckle-fucks out of my head.

Link to my prev. post for context. incase yall missed it bc I'm not explaining myself, we're just diving right into the deep end

Edit: i entirely forgot but i have a third one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bee knows Optimus isn't one for physical affection, and he fully understands and accepts that. He doesn't want to make Optimus uncomfortable by disrespecting one of his boundaries, that's just a shit thing to do. And Bumblebee is not a shit person. But... he's also desperate. Look, being deprived of physical parental affection your whole life fucks you up something good, let Bumblebee tell you, it makes you do some odd shit just to get a taste of what you've been missing out on. And! And most of the stuff Bumblebee has done are perfectly normal things to do! Plenty of casual stuff, leaning against his chair to look at what Optimus is working on, high fives and fist bumps (Optimus rarely, if ever, does these but for Bee he'll do anything just to make him smile, see Optimus acting totally normal about his feelings what are you talking about), leaning against him for a second when he's tired, totally normal! There are, less normal things, like when one of Bee's legs nearly got torn off on a mission and Optimus had to carry him back to base and Bee curled up close in Optimus's arms the whole time- because of the pain, totally 100% definitely only the pain that was Not mostly taken care of by some field anesthetics. It felt nice to be carried like a kid, sue him.

Getting injured is a special case with giving and taking affection. For example, when Bumblebee had to drag Optimus to a med bay after he passed out from a mission. They were walking into the common room together; Optimus was telling Bee he was fine when he CLEARLY wasn't because he didn't want to wake the medics for something as Trivial as THEIR LEADER and FREIND'S HEALTH (Bee is this close to strangling him) when Optimus just pitched over onto the floor.

Optimus, clearly tried and hurt: I will be fine, there is no need to wake the medics, I just need some energ... *faceplants*

Bumblebee: What did I say? What did fragging I say?! *Hefts Optimus's limp body onto his shoulders* fragging, stupid, slagging, moron, 'I don't need a medic, I'll be fine' he says, if I had been the one doing this, you would have torn the base apart getting the medics up, fragging idiot. *drags Optimus's body out of the room*

Optimus: *Mumbles something about not wanting to bother anyone*

Bumblebee: Too fragging bad, big man, you are going to take care of yourself and you're going to like it!

So now Bee has to drag a bot much bigger than him back down the hall and into the Medbay, just because Optimus was being fucking stupid. Yes it looks as funny as you're thinking. Optimus is semi-conscious but delirious as they make their way down the halls of the base and says "I don't want to take anything that would be better served helping any of you, I care about all of you so much I don't want to see you hurt. I love you." and Bumblebee's like Optimus, I feel so loved and so angry right now, but fuck what you want you're getting taken care of. No, you did not just make my fucking day, I lOve yoU tOo dAd-. He gets Optimus into the medbay on a berth then goes to forcibly wake the medics up to calm himself down because he is seconds from crying.

Optimus eventually gets better with affection, and now Bee gets a hug whenever he asks. He has yet to come down from this high.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bumblebee calls Megatron his "Shit Ex-Stepfather". The entirety of team prime thinks this is hilarious. Even Optimus can't help but smile, though he tries to hide it. Someone, probably Jazz, changed Megatron's file name to "Worlds Worst Stepfather". After the war, if Megatron is still alive, he will mysteriously acquire some kind of award saying "Cybertron's #1 Worst Stepfather". He is very confused.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you could get Optimus drunk, he would become such a sap. Like, insufferably soft and emotional. And he would be talking about Bee damn near the whole time. He would be so annoying.

Optimus: *Drunk* Did I ever tell you about Bumbl-bee? He's, he's my boy, my bumble boy, my gold'n boy, my buzzy boy, my sweet cheese. An, he's really yellow, you'll know it's him, he looks like- he's really yellow, it's hard not to see him, but he's really really good at sneaking. Even though he's so yellow. He can sneak around so good, no one sees him. I can see him, 'cause he's my boy. He can sneak around and nooo one finds him, 'cept me, 'cause he's my boy. He can hide so good, he hid under sshockwave's chest once. Riiiight under his eye, his big purple eye. Bee's so funny, he tells such funny stories. He tells his stories better then me, they're a lot funnier. I'm not good at funny stories. He's really good at it. He's really good at lots of things. Bee's so cool. I'm so happy he's here, he's so cool and funny and nice and cool. And he fights real good too, he's so cool. he once- Bee once punched my ex once, right in the face. Riiight in the kisser, just, boosh. My ex sucks, Bee's so cool. I like him, he's my boy. An-and he taught himself how to do aaaaall the cool things he does. He didn't have anyone to teach him, he did it all by himself. All alone... I wish I met him sooner, when he was small. He says he was really cute when he was small and I want to see him small. I like him big though, he's really fun when he's big. He's- *Sobs* He's my booooy, and I love him so muuuuch.

This continues for hours. Luckily he never drinks so no has to suffer through this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you thought Optimus was the Serial Adopter, you'd be wrong. It's Bumblebee. No bot is safe from his clutches. He scoops up family members like a pelican scoops fish. Optimus is barely aware of how many family members he technically has, he stopped keeping track a long time ago.

Bumblebee: *Bursting into the room dragging some bot he was on an extended mission with* OPTIMUS, I GOT ATTACHED AGAIN YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER

Optimus: *Not looking up from his data pad* That's great, son, go put it with the rest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Optimus would be such a good grandparent. In the future, after the war ends, Bumblebee comes into possession of a kid; whether he finds someone and takes them under his wing or he just fucking makes one, I don't know nor care, but he gets a kid. And when he introduces them to Optimus, Optimus just fucking melts. He was already a huge softie before but he's so much worse now. He goes full grandma mode. He has snacks in his pockets (or whatever bots have) that he sneaks to the kid every time he sees them. He gives them money at random. You best believe he would destroy anything that even looked at his grandbaby wrong (Bee: Optimus, stop attacking the door. Optimus, the door just bumped them, they're fine. Dad stop, omp(rimus))

The "Bee finds a kid and both of them get attached and now are a family" is the funnier option. Because the kid knows who these guys are, they saved Cybertron. The kid's still getting used to having Bee as their guardian, so when they meet the 13th Prime: Holder of the Matrix of Leadership, Savior of Cybertron, they don't expect Dotting Grandparent Extraordinaire.

Bumblebee: and this is Optimus Prime. He's your Grandpa.

The kid : *nervous* He's my what?

Optimus: *on the verge of tears* mY grAnDbABy-

The "Bee made a kid" version is still pretty funny.

Bumblebee: *Exasperated* Optimus, give me my child back.

Optimus: *violently crying* nO, It'S mY bAbY nOW.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Imagine, if you will, Optimus and Bumblebee sitting on a roof together, not talking, not touching, just watching the sun set. Just enjoying the silence together, maybe with some energon to go with it. Because they get it, oh they get it. Sometimes you just need to be alone with someone. That good mutual respect and love from a found family that understands you. this is why I need bee to be an adult, I need both of them to be hurting and find some comfort in each other, to find solace in each other, to be a family and to be equals, is that too much to ask?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A list of things Bumblebee is allowed to get away with:

Interrupting Meetings to Tell Optimus Something, important or not (hi dad)

Casually touching the Usually Touch Adverse Optimus (Physical affection ftw)

Calling Optimus out on his self-sacrificial bullshit (you're going to see the medics and you're going to like it, old man)

Using the three points above to drag Optimus into the Medbay by force (Ratchet is so smug about this)

Getting Optimus to do something fun and relaxing (father son bonding time, as Bee says.)

Swearing aggressively (for everyone else it's unprofessional, for Bee its therapeutic. He stretches this excuse as far as it goes)

Making Insulting comments about others to their face (look they deserve it if the Perpetually Friendly Bumblebee is saying it)

Talking about Megatron (Usually team prime avoids talking about Megsy outside of war related convos out of respect for Optimus's history with him. Bumblebee does not give a shit, Megatron is a bitch and he's going to make his opinions known (Everyone thinks it's funny dw))

Illegal activities (this fucker street races in every universe, you think he isn't doing shit like this on the daily?)

Murder

Stealing/Sneaking snacks (he shares with Optimus)

Making jokes about Optimus being his dad (he thinks it's funny bc they're not related and they met like 6 years ago. Optimus explodes with emotion every time bc you consider me good enough to be your dad?)

Bee is a fucking menace, Optimus loves him so much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Misc. funny word vomit I came up with that have no context, reason, or sense

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Optimus is working at a desk focusing on some data pads. A tiny energon cube flies into frame, bouncing off Optimus's forehead and landing on the desk. Optimus grabs the cube and eats it without looking up from the datapad. A few minutes pass, another energon cube flies and bounces off Optimus's head. He eats it without looking. Bumblebee is sitting off to the side in the room with Optimus with a bag of energon snacks, periodically throwing one at the distracted Prime. This is Bee's and Ratchet's newest scheme to get Optimus to actually eat, and it's working splendidly. (Actually, Bumblebee originally was throwing the energon onto the desk, but over time he got bored and started just throwing the cubes directly at Optimus. He hasn't noticed any of the cubes hitting him at all, so Bee's started trying to do trick shots.)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Bumblebee?"

"Absolutely, now throw me."

"Alright... Three, two, one- Ngha!"

*distant loud metal slam*

"..."

*distantly* "I'm good! We're in business!"

*quietly* "oh thank primus..."

*distantly* "Okay, I'm done. I'm coming back down."

"Wait-"

*distantly* "Hup!"

*loud crashing metal noises*

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's early morning, everyone got back to base late the night before. Everyone is tired. Optimus is sitting at the table in the common room, slowly drinking a cube of energon. His eyes are half open and bleary. Bumblebee is beside him, head in his hand, dozing. Bee's head falls from his hand and slams onto the table. Optimus doesn't even blink at the noise, just takes a sip of energon.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Bumblebee takes a lot of pictures. Mostly of his team. He's pretty sneaky about it too, usually just taking a capture from his visual feed and saving it to his personal datapad. And at a glance none of the pictures are all that special, captures of a group of bots hanging out between missions, selfies of Bee and company on missions, drunken mishaps, quiet moments, he's got this really funny one of Cliffjumper stuck in a storage closet, but Bee keeps all these photos out of sight. The others are aware of his habit but they never see most of the photos, they never ask. Bee only opens his photos folder when ever he has a quiet moment alone and just scrolls through, reminiscing. His favorites are the ones where he caught someone's genuine smile. Sometimes they're in the background of a larger group shot, or it's just them smiling at Bee in conversation. He's got a lot of Optimus's smile. Optimus doesn't smile a lot, but he always seems to smile when Bee's around. Bee's proud that he can do that for him.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

this could literally be anyone on team prime: *teasing* You playing favorites, Prime? Giving Bumblebee all this special treatment is making the rest of us feeling left out.

Optimus: You all treat him the exact same way I do.

again, literally anyone on team prime: ... Touché, Boss bot, touché...

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

After spending an extended period of time in close proximity to Megatron (for what ever reason), Bumblebee and Optimus talk.

Bee: You had terrible taste in partners.

Optimus: *sighs*

Bee: Physically, I can see the appeal, but everything else is a wild thing to say yes to.

Optimus: ...

Bee: His personality, his interests- just why none of that clocked you onto how fragged up he would be is beyond me.

Optimus: ........

Bee: You're not stupid, I hope that your next partner will be leagues better than him. Ratchet maybe, oh or Elita, they would make great partners (and even better step-parents), or maybe-

Optimus: CanwePleasestoptalkingaboutmylovelife??

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Bumblebee: If you get back together with Megatron I'm disowning you.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BB: This is... so dumb.

OP: The higher I am the better I can see.

BB: You can- You can fly.

OP: Hush now Bumblebee! I am searching...

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk man, brain rot hits something different when I think about it for long periods of time

#i really hope these read well and yall can make sense of them #these were very stream of consciousness #I'm still re-learning how to draw so someone who already knows please draw Bumblebee carrying a limp Optimus #please it would be so funny #I'll take any universe please my life will be yours #Optimus is Misery. Bumblebee is CPR #can anyone tell i've lost my mind yet?#personal stuff #transformers #bumblebee #optimus prime #tf bumblebee #tf optimus prime #optimus #macadam #macaddam #maccadam

280 notes · View notes

supi-wupi · 19 days ago

Text

Penpals - Joshua Hong

pairing: Joshua Hong x Reader

synopsis: When shy 10-year-old Nie is randomly assigned a penpal for a school project, she never expects it to change her life. Her first letter is awkward, filled with misspellings and nervous honesty—but it finds its way to Shuji, a warm and musically gifted boy living across the country in Seoul. What begins as a simple childhood exchange grows into a years-long thread of friendship, and dreams written between ink and paper.

wc: ~2.1k words

genre: fluff, penpals

warning: changes in timeline; joshua moved to seoul when he was 5, reveals who he is on his debut, insults at the end (teasingly), shua is a shameless romantic, jihoon mentioned

a/n: my contribution to seventeens birthday!! had this idea for a while then wrote it on a whim, but i think it turned out nicely! Thank you so much @sluttyminghao, @mylovesstuffs and @swampyfrogqs for beta reading for me! (and giggling in the doc)

02/04/2005

Dear penpal,

Im not too sure what i am supposed to put in this letter

My teacher said this was requit required and a fun activity to make friends across the contry country. Sorry about my spelling, im still learning

Not too sure if you will reply, apparently its some random assigning thingy, but i hope we can become freinds.

From,

ur future freind

—

28/04/2005

Dear future friend,

I recieved received your letter! Dont worry about your spelling, mine is bad too, im still learning as well.

Now that we are permanent buddies for life, i want to get to know you! I’ll go first

I wont tell you my name tho, that ruins the fun.

You can call me shuji! Im 10 years old, my birthday is 30 december 1995, and i like playing with my friends and playing gatar guitar and singing.

What about you?

From,

shuji

—

19/05/2005

Dear shuji,

You sound so cool

You can call me nie! Im turning 10 soon, my birthday is 26 may 1996, i like drawing and making braclets bracelets with my mumma! Your only a few months older than me, but i hope we can be the bestest of the best friends!

From,

Nie!!

—

04/06/2005

Dear Nie!!

I only just recieved your letter, im sorry i missed your birthday. But happy late birthday!! Better late then never!!

I also hope we become good friends! I also wanted to ask where in korea you live in, im living in seul seoul, i use to live in LA in America before i moved here!! But here is so cool and i love it here.

From,

shuji

—

23/06/2005

Dear shuji,

Woah, thats so cool that you lived in America before moving to Seoul. I live in Busan! Im like the opposite of the country to you! thats so cool, i think thats why our letters take so long to get to each other

But i think thats the best part of this, that we are so far apart, even if it takes a long time

I do have some questions though, When did you move from LA to Seoul? What was LA like? Why did you move to Seoul from LA?

From,

Nie :)

—

17/07/2005

Dear nie,

I moved here when i was 5, i dont remember much but i know that it was really cool. It had so many tall buildings and was busy, just like seoul!! Im not too sure why, my mum said it was so I could take dance or singing lessons when im older because she believed i was good, but im not too sure about that but she really likes it here!!

I think this is a start to an amazing friendship nie :)

From,

shuji.

—

05/08/2010

SHUJII!!!

You wont believe this! Im top of my class!! All my hard work has been rewarded!!

But i did embarrass myself when i found out… i think i started tearing up or something but i dont really remember because i like blacked out of happiness. My friend said my jaw literally hit the floor tho, so i think that explains how shocked i was.

So thats what's happened since your last letter, whats new with you?

Any new crushes? You literally have to tell me when you do. Oh theres this cute boy i met tho, i think his name was jihoon, hes a lil short, shy, but kinda nice. Hes always on his computer doing something or in the music block.

From your most favourite person ever,

Nie!!

—

28/08/2010

NIE!!

Thats so good to hear!! I told you that hard work pays off in the end, pulling all nighters all the time is NOT healthy im telling you.

I’ve picked up a side job to teach people how to play guitar! I go over to their apartment and teach them how to play chords to songs they want. The pay is pretty good, around 25,000 won an hour, they just need to tell me the songs beforehand so I can prepare and stuff. I’ve also started to take singing lessons like my mum wanted when i was younger, my teacher says I’m doing pretty good and that my voice sounds really smooth

I also can’t believe its been 5 years since we’ve started being pen pals, all my friends stopped talking to their penpals ages ago.

Also about that jihoon guy, he seems nice! Obviously maybe a little shy, but if you keep nagging him he might warm up to you, or kill you, a 50-50 chance for both. Sadly there's no one interesting to me at the moment, but if there is one, you’ll be the first to know i promise.

You gotta promise me that you won’t do too many all nighters!

Yours,

shuji

—

13/09/2010

SHUJII!!

I think you’re asking for too much there… its literally how i got my good grades.

ALSO: thats so cool your getting paid to teach ppl how to play songs on a guitar, man i cant even strum a chord, let alone a whole song….

Update on jihoon; we are friends now! I think… he lets me hang around him when im bored, answers my questions about what hes doing, btw he makes songs on his computer??? Like thats so cool??? I swear hes going places. apparently hes also a trainee at PLEDIS or something, hes rlly cool.

I also think its crazy that we’ve been penpalling for so long, my friends think im crazy for checking the mailbox everyday to check if your letter comes through, but they wouldn’t understand what we have

Yours truly,

Nie

—

10/01/2013

NIE!!

I have amazing news!! I started training at PLEDIS to become an idol! Its really cool being around people so talented at dancing and others being able to sing really high notes, but i’m so happy to be here. It was really weird how i was scouted but thats okay.

They literally just walked up to me after i performed at a bar, handed me a business card, told me to try out to become an idol.

Also, I think i met your jihoon guy, he said hes from busan and makes music, hes also rlly good at the guitar, i think hes better than me.. Im not too sure how to ask him if he knows you, mostly bc i dont know your actual name, but bc hes a lil scary, hes been here for like 3 years, which i think you’ve mentioned before.

Thanks for believing in me nie!!

Yours,

shuji

—

31/01/2013

SHUJI!!

THATS SO COOL!!! Thats prob the jihoon, we’re still in contact after he moved for training though!! I believe that you guys will debut together!!! I can brag i know 2 whole idols before they debuted, such a brag in my books. You better become the most famous idol ever so I can say I knew you when your voice cracked mid high note.

Make sure you eat and sleep properly!! Dont want you burning out before you debut!! You got this!!!

Yours,

Nie

—

07/05/2015

NIEE!!

I got the snacks you recommended me last letter, i must say, it was really sweet, but it was nice. I think the members liked it more than me to be honest.

I also saw a cute stray a few days ago, reminded me of you somehow.

We’re set to debut soon!! And guess what? On your birthday! Such a coincidence!! I think i was the happiest when they announced it, cheol was really excited too, but i think because hes been a trainee the longest. You know, being placed in 2 different groups only to disband or get pulled out before debut would make him a little paranoid or anxious. I dont blame him though.

Maybe you can guess who i am in your next letter. I hope this arrives in time!!

Happy birthday in advance!!

Yours truly,

shuji

—

26/05/2015

joshua hong you sneaky jerk

I can’t believe you. Revealing yourself through your debut, i literally saw you mouth happy birthday, ON LIVE?? (thanks tho!!)

Im so proud of you oh my god you dont understand. Only 2 years of training and you’re on stage performing in front of people. Im flabbergasted and feeling a little cheated!! Like, why is your voice is so nice? I could literally fall asleep to your singing.

Also please tell jihoon im so happy for him!!

xxxx-xxx-xxx - call me Y/N :)

Yours truly,

Y/N

—

26/05/2025

Joshua looks down to the floor as he shyly hands you a decorated letter, before scurrying away.

“Shua I swear to god, you do this every year. Just say it in person like a normal human being.��

“But you love it every time,” you hear him call out from probably the bedroom. “Just open it!”

—

Dear Nie!!!

Happy birthday from your ult bias and husband :)

I’m so glad that you were here for me since even since my debut to my 10th year anniversary with the members. Cheering me on and reminding me to eat and sleep properly, taking care of me and the other members when we’re sick, surprise visits in practice rooms and schedules, and many more. I don’t know where I would be if you weren’t in my life, maybe I’d be stuck in a boring office job, but that doesn’t matter, because you’re here.

Being penpals truly started a beautiful relationship between us, and I wouldn’t change anything even if I had the chance.

Thank you for sticking by me every step of the way.

Yours truly,

Shuji

—

You carefully fold the letter and place it back in its decorated envelope, heart full and cheeks aching from how long you've been smiling. You walk toward the bedroom, where Joshua is pretending to be deeply invested in whatever’s playing on the TV, though his eyes keep glancing toward you.

“Come on,” you say, holding the letter to your chest. “You can't keep hiding behind cute stationery every time you're being sappy.”

He finally turns his full attention to you, sheepish grin spreading across his face. “But you like the cute stationery. You said so last year.”

You roll your eyes playfully and sit beside him on the edge of the bed. “I do. But I like you more. In person. Saying things like that... with your actual voice.”

He raises a brow. “So, you're saying you want the full romantic experience?” He leans closer, voice softening. “You want me to serenade you? Candlelight? Rose petals?”

You snort. “I want you to say, ‘Happy Birthday, Nie,’ like a normal human being.”

He laughs, then takes your hand, twining his fingers with yours. “Happy Birthday, Nie.” His voice is gentle, sincere. “And thank you. For being my penpal. My best friend. My everything.”

You squeeze his hand. “You’re lucky I wrote back to that messy little letter 20 years ago.”

He tilts his head, grinning. “I still have it, you know.”

Your eyes widen. “You don’t.”

He’s already getting up, headed to the closet. “Wanna bet?”

—

Joshua returns from the closet holding a slightly battered shoebox, its edges frayed and the top lid covered in stickers that clearly hadn't aged well. He sets it down on the bed between you and lifts the lid.

Inside: folded letters, drawings on notebook paper, even a few friendship bracelets—faded but intact.

“Wait,” you say, picking one up, “you really kept them all?”

Joshua shrugs, bashful. “Every single one. Even the one where you misspelled ‘bracelets’.”

You gasp and nudge him with your shoulder. “Low blow, Hong.”

He grins and plucks out a pink envelope with crooked handwriting. “Look at this one,” he says, unfolding it. “This is the first one you sent after I told you I was training. You said—and I quote—‘You better become the most famous idol ever so I can say I knew you when your voice cracked mid high note.’”

You burst out laughing. “That was a real fear of mine. You were going through puberty and singing falsetto like you were born for musicals.”

He winces. “The voice cracks were real.”

You both collapse into laughter, tears pricking your eyes—not just from the hilarity, but from the sheer weight of how far you'd come.

Then, quieter now, he pulls out a letter in thinner paper—creased and faded, with your childhood handwriting.

“You called me your ‘freind’ in this one,” he murmurs with a smile. “And still said we’d be best friends forever.”

You run your fingers along the paper, remembering how unsure you'd felt writing that very first letter. “We really were just kids.”

He nudges your leg with his. “Kids who kept a promise.”

You glance at him, your heart full. “Do you think ten-year-old us would've believed we’d end up here?”

He thinks for a second, then leans closer, forehead resting gently against yours.

“Ten-year-old me would’ve just been happy you wrote back.”

#₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ supi ₊˚੭ #₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ supi writes ₊˚੭ #svthub #seventeen #joshua hong #joshua x reader #svt fluff #svt #svt imagines #lee jihoon

88 notes · View notes

lara4eclipze · 6 months ago

Text

Santa Baby » 05 - under the mistletoe

masterlist || next || back

the day came , your hands were sweaty from how nervous you were yet your heart pounded with thrill, i mean the way you two would have to "hang out" is unconventional

and maybe your friends have teased you about it enough for you to think of cancelling it , yet something about the way lara texted you and how it felt like she was nervous when texting sparked something inside you

it made you think that she also felt the same for you, maybe she saw you as more than a friend yet you didn't want to jump into speculations, maybe you're just delusional

the doorbell rings and you shoot up from where you sat, you walk to the door giving yourself a pep talk—to possibly not mess up or stumble over your words

"hey come in" you smile as you saw lara , she looked unbelievably pretty , it was like she was a painting of life - and gosh her smile it made you all giddy about seeing her more often

"thanks, by the way i got carbonara buldak - yoonchae said you liked this the most" lara delivers , you unknowingly blush at the thought of her going to lengths like so to satisfy you

"really? thank you! - ill get this cooking, and uhm, you can sit there, " you reply, pointing at the couch in the middle of the apartment , "sorry for the mess i just got busy this week" You sigh

"its alright" she responds

you take the bag from her hands making your touch hers for a split second

"uh- ill get to cooking this now" you say before walking to the kitchen and getting started

lara looked around the place spotting some pictures of you and freinds , family or even just by yourself - she smiles taking in your soft nature

you peek from the kitchen and saw lara smiling at some of the pictures

"im actually gonna fall in love," you mutter to yourself, as you finish cooking the food, you go back to the living room handing lara one of the two plates

"if you want it more spicy i have some sauce there" you say

"thanks, so what topic do you struggle with?" lara mumbles as she takes a bite out of the noodles , some of her hair was out of place so you helped her hold it, securing it with an hair tie

"well i struggle with loads but i struggle most with trigonometry and calculus" you replied casually as if you didnt feel like jumping with the smallest interaction

"ooh a lot of my friends also struggle with that, manon and megan for example" she responds taking another bite of her food

"oh manon the one with giselle right? , and yeah megan has always had a hard time with math" you relpied finishing up your food

"oh your freinds with megan?" lara asks curiosity tinging her voice

"mhm, for a few years now" you respond

she just nods and finishes her food, putting it a side lara picks up her books from her bag , it looked somehow intimidating due to how thick some of the books were

the tutoring went surprisingly well , lara was patient with your stupid ass and she honestly was so kind as well

that made you dread that she had to go though

"sure?? you can stay for longer you know" you pout at lara as she stood up and packed her things

"maybe next time y/nnie you have my number anyways" lara responds

"fine lets sleep call then" you mumble

"why not"

taglist (open) : @artrizzler19 @sixflame438 @c-yerim @lmaoursickbro @meganskiendielsbtc @hwonnrinji @ohmyhaely @d1spact @yeetaberry127 @vrtualstar @goofymickeyr

99 notes · View notes

11queensupreme11 · 3 months ago

Note

AHHH ! I’m so glad you like my modern au !

Ok so Percy’s dad is still pjo Poseidon lol sorry ! Him and sally were one of those Sumer romances and he did lowkey wanna stay but pjo Zues ( bozo telenevela level drama queen ) has a hissy fit and his family have him stuck to his og wife. Sally was first with Gabe then divorced ( Loki found out and burried his ass in cement ) Rn Sally is Happy and married in nyc with Paul !

Percy goes to college in Long Island and lives with Grover and anthonius ! ( thanks for the ideas btw I love it !!!) Grover works at a nonprofit to save the ecosystem and he too won’t show up yet since he was raising money to preserve an endangered plant. They both still pay for rent but are currently off doing their stuff at the begening of the story.

Because of that Percy mostly hangs out with her other friends, Brunhilde a law major and her little sister Goll a highschool senior who is currently doing a nursing tech ( I went to a highschool in Long Island where you could do that I think it was also called Boces )

As for how Percy ends up at a frat party ! Her apartment neighbor Drew calls her panicked because she was at a frat party and her idiot sorority sister piper acted a fool cause the both of them had a thing for Jason ( Percy’s cousin ) whose this really nice dude who’s only in the same frat as Cu cause of his idiot dad wanted him to follow his legacy. Anyways shit went south so Percy went to help her and met one of the banes of her existences in the process.

For the health issues I could totes see Apollo clocking her in the hospital he has his residency in and breaking all The doctor codes to see what’s wrong with her ( I still don’t know what illness to give her lol ) he then proceeds to coddle her like she’s some fragile girly, he’ll lift her stuff, walk her home, feed her, people assume they’re dating or married with how he dotes on her.

And omg yes ! Hades would put his mouth in his foot and hire Beel as her new math tutor, Beel is also a sad bozo loner who’s only freind Lilith is currently off abroad because she’s a photographer usually and curbs his less ethical ways and is a voice of reason but with her gone he’s been spiraling internally. Then this brat who can’t do math and wears blue dyslexia glasses barged in to his life… and no he doesn’t like her even when she brings him food and check in on him… and she’s definitely not his new bestie…

Loki and Percy’s friendship ??? Kinda happened from him being semi related to Goll and Brun, so it tends to be them plus Thor on sleepovers and movie theater nights, of course at first they were passive aggressive as shit but one drunk night and they’re chill ? Ok not really but he’s a beloved grimlin that crawled out of somewhere and Percy tolerates him ( also cause she doesn’t know he turned her abusive step dad into a cement statue )

And although pjo pos wasn’t with Sally he’s actually a pretty good dad when he can be, he’ll send her fish shaped plushies and even secretly paid for her college, he even owns the apartment complex she lives in and keeps the rent affordable. Him and Percy go fishing every summer and he even own one of those #1 dad mugs ( Percy made it in a pottery class ) also HE PAYS HIS CHILD SUPORT !!! The only reason Percy and Sally struggled at first was cause gave was a shitty abusive ass but as soon as Sally could girly pop ran.

Also not to confuse things I think the pjo gods would be named after their Roman counter parts to make it easier.

As for ror Poseidon man did he not like her at first ! She’s this pretty looking girl who can’t read for shit always wears blue sunglasses indoors ( he doesn’t realise they’re dyslexia glasses ) and smells like coffee and cookies. He had beef with a college girly ( looser ) then they have a dramatic stuck in the elevator moment where he finds out oh hey… she’s not that bad I guess ? And then when he realises she loves marine life as much as him he is obsessed ! So what if she’s the only one who gets praised ? Or better grades ? Or the only one who gets to go on his internship in the summer ? She’s perfect…. ( bro is delulu )

Also I deff wanna hear anyone else’s ideas about the au it would be so fun 😋

I FORGOT TO ADD THIS IN THE PREVIOUS ASK. but since beelzebub was made her tutor only because anthonius was gone..... imagine him crashing out when anthonius comes back and percy tells him "hey beelie, i just wanted to let you know that you don't have to tutor me anymore because my friend came back! yaaaaay now ur free of me, haha!!! 😄"

also, i'm picturing ways they find out about anthonius lmao.

like for beelie, it's what i said above. she drops him as a tutor cuz anthonius is back and she's all like "i bet ur super happy cuz now you don't have to deal with me anymore haha!! 💖💖💖" and he's just crying internally

for cú chulainn idk, maybe he goes to the cafe to be a menace again, but she's on break and talking to some other dude and he's just fuming. or maybe he tries to mess with her again like always, but then ANTHONIUS who doesn't give a shit who cú chulainn or his family is, steps up to tell him to fuck off??? idk lol knowing cú chulainn, he'd probably start a fight ngl

and for anubis.... hmmmmmm........... maybe he goes to visit her sometime near closing time. percy's always last to leave and she and anubis sometimes meet up at that time so she can make a special treat for him and kebi, but maybe this one time he goes there only to see her talking with some dude 💔💔💔💔💔 and he's just... face-pressed into the window like 🥺 or something and anthonius and percy are like 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️

for poseidon..... he'd definitely be evil enough to have a 9 AM class and percy ALWAYS does her best to show up in time but one day she was late and when he asks her about it she's like "oh sorry! my friend anthonius came back from rome and we stayed up super late celebrating! 😅💖" and he crashes out

and with hades.......... hmmmm maybe anthonius finds out that hades has been snatching her up for random meetings in his office and anthonius is all like "umm percy... that's a little concerning, maybe you shouldn't do that anymore" and she listens and stops coming 💀💔

and for loki, since you mentioned that she hangs out at the valkyries' place (and loki by extension), maybe he notices that she hasn't been visiting frequently and asks brunhilde and she's all like "oh percy's friend that she may or may not be in love with came back from rome so she's been hanging out with him. btw they live together lol" 😂😂😂😂😂

for apollo, maybe the same with beel! she calls him up and is like "hey apollo! i'm so sorry i've been making you waste so much time with taking care of me.... you don't have to do it anymore! my friend came back, he can handle it! thank you for everything!!! 💖💖" and he loses it LMAO

#👸🏻| asks #👸🏻| arsenic blues

72 notes · View notes

hollowed-theory-hall · 16 days ago

Note

I'm guessing you you aren't the biggest wolf star fan? what do you think of them?

and of unrequited Sirius/James & James/Lily (where Sirius like James but James likes Lily and Lily likes James)?

Yep, you got my taste in Mauraders shipping in one with this.

I can see the appeal of adult Wolfstar, when it's a little toxic and their both using each other as a James stand-in, but not the common fanon portrayal of Wolfstar. Even as adults, though, it's not a ship I'm very interested in.

I discussed the Mauraders' dynamic here, and that kinda explains the way I see the teenage Mauraders. James is the glue holding it together; he's the one they all look up to. James and Sirius are the tight-knit freinds "never saw one without the other", Pettigrew trailing after them, and they hang out with Lupin, but they weren't close to Lupin. (Lupin also seems to like James more than Sirius, again, he's the glue holding it together).

I think it's telling about Remus and Sirius's friendship that Sirius (and James) thought Remus was the traitor, and Remus didn't bat an eye about Sirius getting sent to Azkaban as the traitor — they weren't close, and they didn't really trust each other. So the only Wolfstar I can see, is post-Azkaban, after James is dead. where they're trying to be best friends again, except they never really were, and James isn't there to hold everything together.

But, I am an unrequited Prongsfoot truther. I wrote in the past that James was Sirius's person and vice versa. They were kinda insane about each other, and it's clear Sirius remained closer to James and Lily after Hogwarts than the other Marauders. Sirius was the best man at Jily's wedding. Sirius was Harry's godfather. Sirius was James's first choice of secret-keeper. Sirius was the one Lily wrote to in hiding. And Sirius is very hung up on James. He can't say anything bad about James without blaming himself too. James is faultless in his mind because of how much he loves James. When he's excusing James's behaviour to Harry, it comes with heaps of praise about how great James was in everything.

Obviously, it can be platonic love, and it can 100% be read as such in the same way Snilly can be read as platonic. But it can also be read as romantic. The same way Severus's unrequited love for Lily can be read as romantic, so can Sirius's love for James. (It really is "Harry Potter and the people who wanted to fuck his parents" sometimes).

We don't see any implication that Sirius was interested in anyone romantically — except James, if you want to read into it (I linked a more thorough post about this 2 paragraphs ago).

There is this scene, for example:

With another shock of excitement, Harry saw Sirius give James the thumbs-up. Sirius was lounging in his chair at his ease, tilting it back on two legs. He was very good-looking; his dark hair fell into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance neither James’s nor Harry’s could ever have achieved, and a girl sitting behind him was eyeing him hopefully, though he didn’t seem to have noticed.

(OotP)

Sirius doesn't care for the girl(s) looking at him (and you know she's being obvious, Harry is our narrator, and he isn't great when it comes to romance), but Sirius, quite literally, only has eyes for James. The argument of unrequited Prongsfoot can be made based on the text. In my headcanon for this, Sirius never told James. James was in love/fixated on Lily — even though James saw Sirius as more of his equal than the other 2 Mauraders, Sirius wasn't going to risk it. To risk the most important person to him for what he sees as a crush that he can deal with.

So, yeah, your guess is accurate.

#harry potter #hp #asks #anonymous #hollowedrambling #mauraders #mauraders era #sirius black #james potter #remus lupin #lily evans #lily potter #prongsfoot #anti wolfstar #like not really and I have nothing against anyone shipping it #but I have issues with the pairing and how it's often portrayed

51 notes · View notes

imaginationlover101 · 4 months ago

Text

I Have Nothing

Austin Butler x reader

A/N: Finally, after a long awaited time, Part Two to Trust Issues is here!!! This fic can be read alone as well! I hope that you all enjoy!!♡♡

Summary: Avoiding Austin since his reveal, Y/N is left with a burden to carry. The question still remains on whether or not she should reveal her true feelings to him. Who would have known that after 3 months, 1 night out was all it took to fix her doubts.

It was a long, tiring week, and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my free time relaxing in the comfort of my own home. Even though I was at home safe away from the worries of work and gossip of friends, there was still one thing missing.

The fact that it had been 2 months since I've held a real conversation with Austin. Ever since that day in his apartment, I haven't brought myself to talk to him since. At first, for the first 3 weeks, it had been an ongoing cycle of missed texts and calls from Austin.

For a while, I would skim through our texts, picturing back to our last momenst together. But sooner than later, his calls stopped, voicemails became shorter, and texts slowed down.

I was becoming sick of seeing the "call me" texts, etc. After awhile i became fustrated with myself, contemplating if I should pick up the phone or not. I wasn't mad at Austin for admitting his love to me. It was more so the fact that I couldnt bring myself to the realize the remaining outcome. I was in love with my best friend and couldn't bring myself to tell him.

Negative self image is a horrible thing. Living with the idea that you are not enough, and can never find the "right one" is a horrible way to live. During middle school, is where it all seemed to start off. Teenage girls were always mean, and making freinds was always complicated. Boys never seemed to look my way (leaving me with endless trails of self worry). But then, out of the blue there was Austin.

Compared to all the mean girls and the guys that never cared to look at my way, Austin changed it all. The minute he moved into the small town I called home, I knew it was meant to be. It was almost as if the two of us clicked immediately. With a kind smile and a caring heart, from that day forward I knew Austin would always be there for me.

However, sometimes my heart seemed to think diffrent. Through all the awkward phases, script practices, theater nights to now the hottest upcoming actor the girls, fame, and media always seemed to get in the way. Leaving an underlying trail of insecurities and doubts. I never believed I was good enough for Austin, but it wasn't until recently that it all came into view.

The buzzing of my phone on the kitchen counter slowly brought me out of my thoughts. Groaning I made my way off the couch (which I had been situated at since 4 oclock, and had no plan at all to move)

Making my way towards the counter, I picked up my phone, bringing it to my ear. Suddenly a loud voice pieced through the phone."Y/N WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!"

Immediately I recognized the nitourious voice which belonged to my best friend. Laughing I began cleaning up the counter of old fashion magazines and cookbooks, I haven't seemed to clean up just yet. "I just got home Ivy, and I think I'm going head in for the night "

I could hear Ivy's exatrative sigh over the phone as she talked back and forth to people in her surroundings. The room was loud, and I couldn't make out what she was saying. "HEAD IN! Come on Y/N, how old are you. Helloooo did you forget were celebrating tonight? Come on Y/N come out with us everyone misses you!"

Over the phone I could hear an array of voices all screaming my name. I had to admit I did miss my friends, and although I did decline the offer to go our last week, I was slowly rethinking my descion. However, my laundry basket full of clean clothes, and fresh bedroom sheets sounded tempted. I knew my night was already complete with dessert and romcom later. "Hmm I don't know Ivy, I'm just not up to it right now."

For a moment there was a beat of silence over the phone, that was until I heard a loud gasp coming from the other side of the phone. "Y/N, I hope your kidding! I swear if your still at home thinking about that Austin guy, I will get you up out of that apartment right now. GIRLLL come out already!! Sasha, Chloe, Isabelle, and I are already here!"

Knowing that Ivy wouldn't stop insisting on my whereabouts and presence in the restaurant, I started to wonder why I shouldn't go out? I did miss my friends and maybe changing my scenery for a second would help. Soon, my mind started taking the best of me, and the ambiance of going out started to sound pleasing. Unlike seconds before, my mind was complety flipped and I now felt myself craving going out to be with my friends. Besides, what's the worst thing that could happen?

Handing my keys to the valet, my stomach started to fill with anxiety. It had been the first time I had gone out in almost 3 months, and for some reason I was nervous. Making a note of my surroundings, i started to notice the growing crowd in front of the restaurant. I hadn't seen it this busy for a while and became suspicious with the paparazzi that lurked behind the entrance. What could possibly want now?

Walking with the hostess to the back of the restaurant, I already knew it was a good decision to come out tonight. Ivy had told me they booked half the back room, and as soon as I heard the screams from the girls, I knew my presence was known. Embracing them all with hugs, I began to make my way down to an empty seat next to Ivy and Sasha.

I had to admit, "Barneys" was definitely I had no problem coming out to. The front of the restaurant mostly had a dark and romantic italian vibe to it. Velvet curtains, little lamps on the table, gold silverwear, lovey seats right next to one another. Meanwhile, the back room held an open bar filled with a younger crowd, solizalizing and taking amongst one another. Everyone had a drink or two in their hands and a plate of hor dourves on the table. The back room was dark and romantic, and I couldn't be happier the girls picked this place.

The girls began to fill my hands with menus and suggestions on what drinks to order and a quick treat I should get. For a moment, I forgot all about the Austin situation and let myself be consumed with the talks of my best friends.

Talking about the newest drama in all of our lives, we listened in the best we could, of course, with the loudness of the restaurant and were hooked on every detail. Listening to one another and giving each other advice, we clicked our glasses together and wished for the best night.

"You know, I miss having you out with us Y/N. It's not fair you don't come out anymore!" Chloe says, picking up another glass of rosė. The other girls started to agree with her, and the conversation of Austin was soon brought up. The girls and I all stressed our frustrations towards Austin, until out of nowhere Isabella quickly cuts us off to talk about her latest wedding plans. It was odd at first, but the conversations began to flow.

Just as Isabella started talking about the newest caterer she hired for the wedding, all 4 faces of the girls' faces began to drop. Suddenly, Isabelle switched the conversation yet again and changed the topic to the dead daisies in her garden.

One by one, each girl started to act more and more suspicious. Sasha began to fill my glass to the rim with more wine, while Chloe started complimenting my nails, and Isabella kept on trying to keep my attention directly on her. Finally facing my attention towards Ivy, she slowly shakes her head and begins to rub my hand.

Suddenly for all but a moment, I heard a soft voice mutter "excuse me" as a chair was pulled from the table behind us. My breath stopped for a moment, my face growing seemingly warm. I could feel a precense behind me, but I couldn't seem to look up.

After a moment of disbelief, I turned to look up from my seat. After all this time of hiding and pretending here he was, standing mere inches away from me. I could feel his eyesight on me the minute I turned his way. For a moment, I started to stare at him not truly, believing that he was here right in front of me. As soon as he moved closer, placing a hand on the back of my chair I immediately ran out of my seat.

Looking back at that moment, I couldn't exactly remember what happened. All I know was that when I got up from my seat I had no plan to look back. I was thankful for the private bathroom the restaurant had as I made my way through busy crowd into the quiet hallway.

Finally, as I made my way into the bathroom, I was submerged with a second of peace. Staring at myself in the mirror, I felt a sense of urgency. I needed to get out of this restaurant and home quickly. The dress I had chosen to wear for tonight felt seemingly 2 sizes too tight, and my chest as if it was about to burst.

The man I had been dreading to see for the past few months just showed up at the same restaurant my friends and I were at. I guess the paparazzi outside should have confirmed my suspicions.

I was in no way, shape, or form ready to see Austin. After 5 minutes, I finally realized that hiding in the bathroom from my ex bestfriend was far too childish, but I couldn't seem to care. I had basically embarrassed myself in front of the whole restaurant, so hiding in the bathroom felt like a good idea.

Suddenly, a frantic knocking pulled me out of my panic as I paced back and forth across the floor. "It's occupied!"

I couldn't bother to listen to what the person on the other side had to say, I was too consumed in my own thoughts. But neverless the banging and knocking never stopped. You would think some people had manners?

For a moment, I questioned if the mystery person on the other side of the door could be Austin? At this point, I thought the frantic knocking was just an urgent customer needing to use the bathroom.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly opened the bathroom door. Ready to range my emotions at the unknown suspect, my theories were soon put into check when Austin stood on the other side.

There he stood in all his glory. Standing underneath the fluorescent light for the first time that night, I began to inspect the man standing in front of me. I hadn't seen Austin for quite some time, and I could slowly see the changes in him.

His hair seemed longer and more golden than before, but I couldn't tell if that was from the lighting or the way he styled it. The lingering facial hair that was on his face before was gone, and his face was now shaven clean. Dressed in a white sweater (one that I could have swore we picked out together), black slacks, and his favorite pair of black shoes, I was surprised to see him this put together.

For a second, I was happy to see him. All the memories and sadness I once felt were filled with a tiny bit of relief. Finally, after all this time of hiding, I was able to see the man whom I had been dreading most. I wanted to step forward closer to Austin seeking some sort of comfort, but that was all history after I remembered the reasoning for our fight.

Before Austin could speak, I hastily slammed the door in his face. But of course, that was before Austin wedged his foot in the bathroom door, catching the door with his hand. Pulling and pushing the door between each other, Austin finally had enough pushing the door opening. Stepping into the bathroom, Austin pulled me to the aside with one hand while he closed the door with another. I was finally alone with Austin, and I couldn't think of a word to say.

Realizing that he had finally won, Austin stood against the door in a motion that made me assume no one was leaving. Locking the door behind him, Austin turns around from his stance walking closer to wear I stood in the bathroom. Knowing that I couldn't run away from my problems anymore, I turned my back on Austin. I couldn't look him in the eyes not yet for sure.

Hearing a sigh from the man behind me, I tried to ignore my thoughts seeing as I wanted to turn around against my morals and talk to Austin. I could feel his presence behind me and craved the friend I used to know.

"I'm trying to fix things with you Y/N, but it doesnt help when you want to run away."

I still couldnt face him. I just began to stare plainly at the picture placed ever so crookedly on the wall. For a second I wished I could have become lost in the painting. Just run away from everything and this major talk with Austin.

I guess I had been completely incoherent for too long, because after a while Austin had pulled me away from the painting turning me around to face him. "Seriously Y/N, what are you doing? Why wont you listen to me? Why do you keep running away?"

"I'm not running away from you Austin, I just don't want to talk to you!" Austin nods his head hearing my voice for the first time tonight. Rolling his eyes he begins to make his way towards the wall opposite from me clearly offended by my awnser. Leaning his head in hands, Austin sighs trying to think of what to say.

"I don't get it Y/N, I tried everything! I've called you, texted you, I left you flowers. I don't know what I did wrong." I could tell he was becoming more and more agitated, but I couldn't blame him, how could I tell my best friend I've been avoiding him because I'm too selfish?

"It's just -" Sighing, I began to my trace my fingers along my frame, seeking some sort of comfort within myself. What could I possibly say to him that would make everything seem okay?

Taking a deep breath I fianlly bring my eyes to look at him for the first time this night. "Listen Austin, its me, not you, don't take it the wrong way."

Confusion began to run through his eyes, and his once smooth face became consumed in wrinkles as he scrunched his eyebrows up in worry.

"Don't give me that BS Y/N, I think your forgetting I know you better than anyone else. You cant run away from me anymore. Just tell me the truth, I want to help you!"

I knew I couldn't avoid this conversation anymore, but to be honest I was more embarrassed of it to say anything. In a softer voice than before I slowly made my way closer to Austin.

But of course not too close, I just had to get close enough to make out his face a bit better (or at least thats what I was telling myself).

"I'm not running away from it Austin, it's just.. it's embarrassing."

"You don't have to be embarrassed about anything Y/N. It's just me. I want you back in my life, even if you don't want it. Just tell me what's going on?" His eyes slowly drifted down to mine and for a moment I could help but let my eyes water.

Taking a deep breath in, I prayed that by the end of this conversation everything would work out. By all means this could either change everything for better or worse. "I love you Austin, as a friend, and as something more. I've always loved you, but loving you has always come with a side affect. People are mean, and they try to twist your words and make it sound disgusting. They criticize you and turn there backs and worship you the next day."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is you deserve someone better. You deserve someone who can take it all and throw it away. Your fans want someone who's beautiful inside and out, and I'm not that person, Austin. You need to find someone who completes you better than I do l."

Finally after weeks of holding it all in, I finally said what I needed to say. I had to admit I was scared, but that only lasted for a moment. I could only hope Austin would understand the reasoning behind my sudden leave that day at his apartment.

Suddenly the AC in the bathroom began to turn on again for it's second cycle, and the room was filled with cold breeze. A chill began to run through my body, which didn't help the underlying anxiety I held as I waited for Austin's response. Shivering lightly my attention was distracted for a moment as I began to rub my hand along my body.

I could have sworn Austin was about to leave. For a while he stood blankly staring at me taking in each word that I had said to me. I couldn't see it then, that night Austin had looked at me with eyes I hadn't seen since we were kids. The eyes of someone who had heard news that broke his heard. After all the time of wishing he would go away who would have know that telling the truth would have been the biggest awnser of them all.

Austins reaction to my speech was far from anything surprising. For a moment he turned around staring at himself in the mirror behind him. If anything he looked more disgusted than sad. His face merely turned sour at the words of me not being good enough in his eyes, and I could tell he was trying to hold back what he truly wanted to say.

Through the mirror I watched as he ran his fingers through his hair, running the once perfect slicked hair he had just a moment ago. Finally turning around to face my way, Austins face was started to become slightly red and when I looked at him again his eyes seemed to match mine. Frustrated, confused, but oh so in love.

"I just dont understand Y/N, how could you say those things about yourself when your not them at all. Why are you trying to look through the eyes of other people, when the only eyes you should be looking through right now are mine. I could care less about what other people think or how they act around me. The only person I care or ever cared about was you, and I'll be dammed if these "people" are going to ruin something that we have!"

Taking a step closer to me, Austin moves so that our feet are directly across from one another. The tears that I so desperately tried to hide emerged, and soon the facade that I held was broken. Placing a hand on my face, he begins to cup my cheek leaving little to no space available between us.

Staring up into his blue eyes, I could feel his eyes directly on mine, and I knew I had his utmost attention. "I love you, Y/N, and I'll never stop loving you. The opinions of others are never going to change how I feel about you."

"I love you too, Austin." In a voice as soft as a whisper, I lean in closer so that my hands could slowly trace around his neck. With my face underneath his, he leans in locking his eyes with mine. With our faces near one another, he leans in sealing our lips together in a comforting embrace.

Finally, after months of hiding my feelings, Austin finally knew how I felt. After Austin and I walked back to our tables adoring a smile (none of of our friends had seen before), we walked hand in hand happy with the outcome of the night.

For once in our lives we didn't have to pretend that our feelings for one another were in the dark. After years of hiding away I knew that Austin and I would never be the same as what we were. From that day forward I never had to worry about the underlying opinions from those who weren't Austin. Anytime I had a doubt he was quick to reasure me, and from that moment on I was quick to tell myself that I didn't need to worry because I am his and he is mine.

#love #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler x reader #austin butler fluff #austin butler imagine #austin butler #austin butler imagines #austin butler angst #fanfic #austin butler fanfic #imagines #imagine

71 notes · View notes

lunas-side-anime-blog · 1 year ago

Text

Modern College Student/Gf Mikasa Ackerman Headcanons

Armin Version: Here Eren Version: Here

scary goth girl that everyone is too scared to talk to but secretly crushes on

psychology major bc I think she had a tough childhood and wants to better understand trauma / help others

somwhere in the middle between Armin and Erin when it comes to academics

like I don't think she is as intense about grades as Armin is, but I also don't think she's as laidback about school as Eren

moderately studies throughout the week, but it's just basic note taking and chapter reading, i don't think she's afraid to miss a few classes though if she feels like it

only really crams and does all-nighters right before an exam if she thinks she needs it

i think she wears men cologne and deodorant and it fits her soo well, idk how to describe it but she smells powerful but comforting at the same time?

maybe like woodsy with strong notes of vanilla and cashmere

loves a black cold brew: no creamer, foam or sugar like she's so intense that way

i think she's that one cool girl who always walks into class like a few minutes late with a hot resting bitch face, AirPods in and a cold brew in hand

tall girl and I think her height is prob her fave feature about herself, like I can see her wearing more heeled boots or platforms to exaggerate it

wears lots of black and hardly any makeup besides some light eyeliner most days

doesn't talk alot unless she fr knows you, i think most people would just hear her say "here" for attendenace and that's it

doesn't go to parties unless she has to

I think think she'll only go to watch eren and armin. she knows eren loves to go overboard and armin will most likely get distracted so she takes it upon herself to be the sober one watching everyone's drinks

def a girls girl like if she sees another female in an uncomfortable situation shes jumping in, no questions asked

i can see her working out with eren so in my mind shes ripped too and yeah...most guys don't fuck with her

has a cute lil skincare routine, only has like a three step process tho since I think she has naturally good skin

she secretly loves facemasks tho and doing her nails with armin as rewards for studying lol

I think out of the main three mikasa would have the most instagram followers, which is so funny bc she doesn't know why she's so popular?

I just think her aesthetic and vibe is very cool, if her account is set to public she would quickly get a lil following

lots of secret admires with this one, men and woman alike

I can see her being BI or Pan too so like that's very conveient

other than armin and eren, I think Mikasa would be besties with Yimir and Sasha

i can see them going to concerts together, shopping, late night drives, getting food (at sasha's demand lol) like i think they'd be a chill lil trio

views eren and armin as brother figures btw, gets grossed out when people ask if shes dating them

obviously a very protective friend

the type of freind whose like "what's their name" when you tell her you're seeing someone new and within an hour Mikasa will have an entire report on where they went to school, all their exes, hobbies, pets, address, ect.

I can see her getting a masters tbh, I def think armin would talk her into it so I think they would be grad school buddies while eren finishes his BA (he'll lag behind them a year or two since he changed his major so much anyway)

Loves cats and I think she'd have one or two if armin and eren are cool with it

I think she would have a few tatooes and piercings, but very subtle ones she can hide since I think as a psychologist she'd want to be taken seriously

music taste is kinda stuck in middle school tbh, still loves my chemical romance with a passion

I don't think she'd smoke weed or drink

^^ not that she has anything against it but i think she just hates the feeling of not being in complete control of herself so she stays away from things like that

never gets sick? it's actually medically fascinating

Overall she's that one quiet girl in class who looks scary but is a sweethear and everyon'es dying to be friends with

As your GF

omg I think she'd be the best significant other tbh

I think you would meet her in a meet-cute way since it's always the people who you least expect to be cheesy

I think maybe like you accidentally tripped and made her spill her coffee in class. you look up an see this tall, ripped, emo looking chick and you rush to apologise and give her your drink in hopes she doesn't flip

shes like "...ok." and takes it. but then the next class she randomly sits next to you and passes you a drink and is like ... "i hope i got your order right?"

the dork memorized your drink akjglalg

after that she kinda keeps sitting next to you and attempts small talk, so you realize she's actually v sweet and exchange socials

which is great bc I think mikasa is way better at flirting over text than in person and you'd quickly understand that she likes you

First date would probably be a show, i think she'd take you to a local band she likes and would get a quick bite after it

I think for second date she'd like you to choose what you guys do and then third she chooses, you guys switch bc she's all about that equal effort

once you agree to be her s/o she'd gonna be so annoying on social media like she's def gonna loose some followers as she only posts you now

type of partner to notice the smallest changes in you right away

you give her a peck and shes like "why aren't you wearing your usual lip balm? do you not like strawberries anymore?"

in bed she's a dom, is that even a queston?

I think she's actually a brat tamer, in my head rn she gets a lil smirk when you act up and i think she just mentally notes what to punish you for later

mikasa views sex toys as allies not enemies, and yeah i think she has an impressive collection so buckle tf up

okay so she's kinda yandere (tbh i think most ppl from the aot universe are but esp mikasa) I think shes very protective and a touch paranoid?

like i think her past is kinda messed up and I can see her mind running wild with ideas if not reassured

so you can just oversleep for a bit and you'll wake up to mikasa practically breaking into your apartment to make sure you're okay bc you suddenly went silent on her

some trust issues too, would def be really upset if you didn't give her the passcode to your phone

doesn't like your friends or anyone else you talk to tbh, she just doesn't think anyone else has your back like she does and will always remind you

i also know her manipulation skill is cray being a psych major, I don't think she's as good as Armin but ik she can weaponize some therapy speak and make you feel a lil stupid (only does it for your own good she says)

doesn't get jealous but does get even

I can see the little shit putting thumbtacks in pockets or laxitives in drinks if someone dares flirt with you, she can be so evil sometimes i just know it

she isn't even scared of the aftermath bc she knows eren and armin have her back so she wants the smoke tbh

the type of partner to death stare someone from behind your back but when you turn around she's suddenly all :)

would love matching tattoos with you if you're down

think she'll be the quickest to bring up marriage too, porbably only a few months of dating and she's like "so when we get married-" and you're like "!?"

big spoon gf, you can be bigger than her and she don't gaf she's still holding you not the other way around

Overall a really sweet girlfriend who just wants to protect you and keep you all to herself

Can be a lil crazy at times, but she means well I swear !!!

Nicknames for you: love, my other half, wifey/hubbie

Songs that fit the vibe: The Perfect Girl by Mareux, Breezeblocks by Alt-J, Me and Your Mama by Childish Gambino

"You're such a strange girl, the way you look like you do."

"She's morphine, queen of my vaccine, my love, my love, love..."

"Girl you really got a hold on me, so this isn't just puppy love"

(She's so hot omg I love her, i developed a lil crush writing this! Anyway srry the moodboard didn't include couple stuff, girlfriend aesthetics are way harder to find than bf aesthetics and the ones I did find looked nothing like her :( tell me if you guys like this series, totally open to doing more characters! not even just from aot, i also kinda wanna do demon slayer or hxh, also love jjk and chainsaw man but I didn't read those mangas yet so I may not be the best at it!!)

#mikasa ackerman #mikasa x reader #yandere mikasa #yandere aot #yandere attack on titan #attack on titan headcanons #aot headcanons #mikasa ackerman smut #mikasa aot #modern attack on titan #modern mikasa

357 notes · View notes

thestargayzingetherian · 29 days ago

Text

Five Years Since Catradora Kissed.

Five years ago on this day, a certain ship from kids cartoon that I love named Catradora became canon and kissed and saved their whole goddamn universe. And I don't think anything in any peice of queer media has hit me the same way since then. It still fills me with warmth and happiness just as it did all those years ago.

Catradora isn't just two girls from this really well written show that got together at the end. It's a testament to what stories in our modern age can be capable of doing, the stories they are capable of telling.

Yes, that has come with some caveats, how the creators of these stories are treated like dogshit by the powers that be, as well as 'certain' parts of their audience, not to mention the corporations owning these stories force their queerness into their rainbow capitalisc assimilationist horsecrap. But even still... just seeing how Catradora makes other people feel, how other people have been able to discover themselves because of them tells me that they have a power that no corporate suit will ever understand.

Catra is literally my transition goals for instance and I see so many people identify themselves as an "Adora" or a "Catra" kinnie. Their stories have helped people feel seen and be okay with themselves in a way I haven't seen so openly possible for a long time.

As for myself... Catradora has been there for me for every rough spot I've had the last few years. That no matter what, they give me some comfort. I've seen a lot of drama and bs in the She-Ra fandom, the likes of which I know drove some people away... but I am still here, because my love for these two dorks will always be there. If everyone in the Catradora fandom was to just give up and go to another fandom somewhere else, I would still be here. I would literally be the only Catradora girl alive if that were possible.

I know that in my personal expereince that I've made a lot of mistakes in my time in the fandom. Since I've been off my main social media places a lot the last few months, it's given me a time to think on how toxic and cynical I could be at times, how sometimes I'd make terrible mistakes that would make some people uncomfortable or how toxic some She-Ra fandom spaces were. This is not a callout post by the way, I don't do that kind of thing.

I don't expect everyone to forgive me for some of the things I've done in the past or things I've said. As much as I would want nothing more than to make ammends for anything I've said or done that's warranted any reputation I might have, I realise I can't force people to change. Adora didn't force Catra to change after all, she did it of her own volition and Adora's freinds likewise accepted Catra because they wanted to, not because Catra forced them to.

But I will say this... I am genuinely sorry for everything. For any conversations or ideas I might have worded badly that made people uncomfortable, for going on giant long cynical rants and vents because I was in a bad place, for all of that. I am truly sorry and I hope that I can at least be friends with some of you again.

And while I was only an observer for a lot of the other She-Ra fandom drama, I am sorry to everyone who left the fandom because of that too. I am so goddamn sorry that a bunch of sometimes justified internet drama and arguements caused you to no longer enjoy a beautiful series like She-Ra. I am sorry people did racist shit to Catra that made POC in the fandom deeply uncomfortable, I am sorry that so many people rallied behind good ships like Glimmadora and Entrapdak to harass Catradora stans because of the internet media ilteracy that trained them to hate Catra. I am sorry that these last five years haven't exactly been the best for a lot of you and I know that I alone can't exactly do much to fix that.

But what am I going to do? I'm going to try and keep being postive and making things that I at least hope make someone happy, that put a smile on someone's face. I have over 200 fics about Catradora alone posted on AO3 and probably much, much more planned in the future. Heck, the day this goes up, I'll be FINALLY properly making a start on the big post-canon She-Ra series I've always wanted to write.

I want to try and be a beacon of hope and positivty for anyone who visits my pages. I was told by I think @catras-breakup-song and @witch-apologist that I have somewhat of a repuation for being a nice blog that shows up in people's feeds on here and I hope I can still be that for another five years.

Catradora are in a way... an inspiration to me. Creatively, by writing tons of stories about them. And for their happiness giving me such hope on the days I feel so dark.

So here's to the next five, hell, next TEN years, because hey, if Korrasami can keep people going for ten years, Catradora most certainly can!

May Catradora and everything about She-Ra keep you happy for a good long time, my friends. I hope to see some of you again soon.

#catradora #spop #she-ra #catra #adora #fanfiction #starfics #she-ra fandom #personal

43 notes · View notes

headcanonforthought · 8 months ago

Text

SPN headcanon thing?

Dean goes undercover to bust a crazy church cult. There doing "conversion therapy" and gay men go missing after they begin attending. Dean goes in and pretends to be struggling with gay thoughts. He uses Cas as his example and says Cas is a work freind he's got a crush on. Of course, Dean thinks he's describing a very normal relationship between him and Cas, in fact he's worried the cult will suss out that he's lying to them. Instead...

Cult leader; "oh goodness Dean, thank the Lord above you came in when you did! I'm afraid you are one more meeting away from commiting the act of homosexuality with Cas!"

Dean; "I mean... I wouldn't say, that was, an issue..."

Cult leader; "Yes your seduced and in love with this deceiver! The way you speak, I've not seen a man so tempted ever before in my life!"

Dean; *pulling out his gun*

Dean; "NOW WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE JACKASS!"

Sam; "He's blowing his cover!"

Cas; "Was the crazed man correct? Does Dean wish to blow me?"

#spn #supernatural #castiel #gay dean winchester #bi dean winchester #destiel #sam whinchester #headcanon

75 notes · View notes

colectingstrz · 1 year ago

Text

INCOMPATIBLE HARMONY

⤿ a beautiful passion of hatred driving a narrow pathway for foreign emotions and surging familiar ones.

𐙚 g: enimes to lovers, university au, fluff here and there, angst. wc: 10.6k w: one kiss and mentions of a parent passing p: Jay x f reader

𐙚 - like 70% proof read it’s so long I tried 😪

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ

Your mother always said, “Either kill or be killed,” and you regrettably learned the hard way. Life is not easy, and it never will be. You must work for your goals and eliminate any potential distractions, even if they are those you care about. Everything that matters is success. Yet with more independence and freedom of choice u start to crack a little straying further and further away from the motto showing weakness and vulnerability. Success no longer being your priority as you found your focus on a particular someone.

you certainly would not mind eliminating a specific individual , a pest.. a loud, foul mouthed, vile, obnoxious, beastly, filthy inconvenience such as park.

It's not surprising to hear Jay harbours the same feelings as you; it's almost romantic when you think about it. Two people with a passionate desire hatred for one another.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

Unfortunately, your Monday became more dreary when you met him waiting outside your professor's door, whom you had intended to meet.

“What are you doing here” Jay ignored you and continued typing stuff on his phone. The sound of his fingers aggressively tapping on his screen bothered you. “Hello? You know it's rude to ignore somebody while they're addressing you.”

Finally, he raises his deep, dismal eyes to meet yours. “I'm so sorry your majesty I didn't like your tone” he said with a grin “what's wrong with my tone? this is how I always talk why are your..so dramatic” You crossed your arms, your tolerance dwindling as you endured this discourse.

“No... today your tone seems more boooorish” you raised an eyebrow at his strange choice of words; you had no understanding what he had just said, which irritated you even more. You despised the way he used sophisticated vocabulary as if he were from 1985. “Do you want to purposefully mislead me? What do you think because you use fancy phrases, you're better than me, you antiquated freak”

Jay grinned. You despised it when he smiled because it felt like he was mocking you, it made you feel little, and you despised every moment of it. “Intentionally yes I'm glad to see it's working it brings me joy to see u distressed-and confused when I mess with ur little narrow minded brain maybe if u spent ur time reading rather than selling ur self out at party's every weekend you would actually know what im saying half the time”

You close your eyes sighing loudly as you try to compose your anger. He was wrong so wrong

Jay smirked as he recognised he had won. Picking up his bag, he approaches you and gently pats over your shoulder, “What's wrong? Can't bite back? Better luck next time, love.” Before you could respond, he walks away, descending down the corridor, leaving you to throw an internal fit as you accept your defeat.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

“Are you coming to Jake's party tonight? It's at his beach mansion” you shrug as you begin to gather your belongings from your desk. “I'm not sure... with this approaching test, I need time to study.” Yujin rolls her eyes, grasping your arm in a plea “Pleaaaaaaaaaaseeee I don't wanna go by myself it's just one party it's not going to ruin your perfect 4.0 GDA!” you lightly break free from her grasp, “correction it's GPA.. and stop clinging onto me like a leech I know damm well u have plenty of other friends if I don't come it's not the end of the world” She groans.

“What if it is the end of the world! your my best freind I want to go with you w..what if I pass out ?? What if I.. uh.. get lost” she blurs out nonsense and you watch in disbelief shaking your head, preparing to turn and leave.

“Park Sunghoon is comming by the way”

You come to a halt in your tracks, slowly turning around. “Really?..Are you saying that only to get me to co- “yes! Really, he's back from France now; there's no way he'll miss Jake's party.” You sigh deeply, pondering whether a single male who is cute is more essential than your future. “I'll think about it.” Yujin smiles, grabbing you in an embrace and showering you with thank yous as if you answered yes (deep down you know it was a yes as well), before she swiftly leaves for her next class.

What you felt for Sunghoon was like a disease, slowly devouring you from the inside out. You've been pinning for him since your first year of university, and you thought it was just a crush until it wasn't. Now, a year later, your feelings have grown stronger. You would do anything to be in the same space as him-not to talk just to admire from afar You were a woman of many words, but in this instance, Sunghoon was different. It's as if you lost the basic mechanics of communication when talking to him; it's too embarrassing to go through again, so you avoid it at all costs and prefer to admire his features . Even in group setting with your friends you keep your conversations to a minimum.

And, of course, evil forces decided to flirt with and entice you once more by bringing not just Sunghoon but also his pest of a friend Jay into your presence as you make your way down the hall to your next class.

“Oh hey y/n it's been a while” Sunghoon smiles as he embraces you cheerfully. “Oh..h..hi umm how was France and the skating Ice- um, I mean ice skating,” you mentally leaped in front of a bus and ran yourself over 76 times because of the idiotic mistake you just made in front of him. “The ice skating competition was good I should hear back in about a week if I've qualified for the semi finals how have you been?” He looks at you intently and quietly, waiting for your response, while Jay silently notes every element of your expression. Both of their stares made you feel little uneasy, as if you were a vase on display in a museum, attracting a lot of attention. You felt your palms start to sweat.

“That's great to hear! Um.. I've been alright just p..preparing for exams right now.” You give him a constant smile, attempting to distract him from your inability to pronounce a simple basic ass word. “Yikes, midterms.. Hope you do well-Oh! Are you going to Jake's party? Or are you going to study? Parties weren't always your thing” Just as you open your mouth to speak, a rat joins in on the conversation despite the fact that he was not invited.

“Sunghoon it seems you've been gone a while she loves parties I see her at them all with that yujin girl I'm sure she won't miss this one will you y/n?” You glare at Jay, directing your focus to him, and imagine all the horrible ways you would torture him for ruining a moment with your crush. “I'm sure she can speak for herself, and trust me, Jay y/n is not a party girl... well, I have a class to go to, so maybe I'll see you at the party,” he smiles one final time before walking away, leaving you and Jay in solitude.

“Do you lack basic manners? Why are you entering into a conversation that has nothing to do with you? He was talking to meeee the last time I checked, and your not y/n.”He shrugged, “My manners are perfect, thank you very much, and I'm open to adding my two cents wherever I want to; all I did was state the facts.” You roll your eyes and reposition your back to hang over your shoulder.

“Facts? Stop acting like you know me Jay, you don't. You're not my friend, you're not my anything. Stay out of my business and my life.” You leave him as quickly as you spoke, bumping your shoulder against his as you storm down the hall.

Something you said right then must have touched a chord, since Jay's mood plummeted for the rest of the day.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

Parties are just mobs of people, the perfect place for germs to hibernate and circulate like wildfire, with loud music that bursts your eardrums, piles of sweaty bodies, and excessive amounts of alcohol. You don't see what Yujin sees in this type of activity, but the show must go on, and it's too late to back out now.

Deeper within the mashion are Jay, Jake Sunghoon, and Jungwon, who are playing pool round after round. “Sunghoon, did you find any hot French girls or what?”Jake asks, peeking over to see Sunghoon as he effortlessly knocks down two of his targets into the hole. “Ice skating pre occupied me.. plus I still like her”

Now that Jay has disconnected from his talk with Jungwon, his ears immediately peek up at the sound of Sunghoon's crush, and he listens in curiously. He rarely discusses such topics, especially after his heartache with his ex Chaewon.

“Her? Omg bro it’s been monthhhhs” sunghoon sighs “I know.. but she’s just really pretty and kind I really want to get to know her more this year” Jake laughs placing a hand on his chest “ get to know her? Last year you barely held a conversation with the girl u need to work on your game if u wanna bag a girl like y/n”

Jay lifts his brow in disbelief and confusion. Sunghoon liked you. Considering the millions of girls he could have picked. Jay was completely baffled. Great distress surged over him. He became so outraged that he could no longer bear to listen to the discourse. Jay turns to the pool table, leaving a perplexed Jungwon in the middle of his sentence.

“Do you like y/n? Really, dude? Raise your standards.” Jake's mouth drops agape at his comment, and Sunghoon crosses his arms. “Yeah, I like her, and what about it? I think She's a great girl, what's it to you?” Sunghoon now turns to Jay, looking him down. The mood in the room shifts, and Jungwon, who is watching from a distance, becomes anxious about what is going on.

“It's nothing to do with me I'm just looking out for you as a freind she's not a good person” Sunghoon doesn't say anything for a time and simply stares at Jay. “Maybe u haven't had a good experience with her.. that's your opinion but I've had good with her and I'll stick to my opinion thanks for the concern bro” Sunghoon turns, grabs his drink, and leaves the room.

Jay gulped, grabbing the edge of the pool table firmly in rage. How could Sunghoon not realise what an awful person you were? All he wanted was to look out for him. Again, everything is always your fault. Jay groans as he steps outdoors, leaving the manshion.

He walks outdoors on the sidewalk, trailing his feet. He stares ahead to the shore, watching the clam ripples of water. He groans and walks on, but he comes to a halt when he notices you coaching against the wall with your head down.

He immediately becomes enraged again; it was your fault he was out here, and it was your reason he got into a fight with Sunghoon. He comes up to you talking this opportunity to throw a dig “so much for not being a party girl look at you here all drunk and wasted outside on the floor no self composure what so ever”

He waits, but your witty retort never arrives. He lifts his brow lightly, bending down to shove you, but is met once more with the presence of stillness. Jay feels an awful discomfort in his gut. He bends down to get a closer look, only to find your eyes closed and your hand grasping your chest while you breathe extensively.

“Y/n?… Hey y/n” he holds your shoulder trying to urge a response. “t..to many..” he moves his head closer angling his ear towards you “repeat that for me” you muster all the strength in your body to speak “c..claustrophobic..I’m..clau..” Jay hums in realisation.

He thinks quickly on his feet sitting down on the concrete, reaching for your hand and replacing the one on your chest with his own. “Listen to me right now. I need you to breathe in and out slowly, with 3 seconds in between, okay? Can u do that for me” you weakly nod, obeying his directions.

Each time you did, he would lightly sweeze your hand in encouragement, giving you reassuring “well done’s”and “your getting there's” the whole affair felt strange to you. He was really pleasant, calm, patient, and caring towards you. It was rare for Jay this came out of nowhere, but you didn't question it and accepted it with open arms because you needed it.

Shortly after you find your self calm. But the lingering feeling of jays eyes on you as the two of you sit in silence was uncomfortable. You find your self subconsciously looking down to your feet playing with your fingers. “So.. your claustrophobic I never knew that” you shrug still looking down “well yeah.. it’s not a big deal anyways” he hummus “seems like a pretty big deal if it weren’t for me you would have passed out”

You roll your eyes “no I would have been fine this isn’t the first time I topically do this alone no assistance needed park” Jay humms again his hand reaching to cup your chin forcing you to raise your head and look at him. You were shocked at the sudden contact and the way his hand felt so warm againt your cold skin. “Well..um are you okay now looking at your face you seem it” he then used his hand to turn your head slightly as he analyses your face. “I’m..I’m fine thank you”

A tingly feeling perks within him but he shuts it down nodding removing his hand from your skin. The absence of warmth had you feeling cold again but you brushed it off. Jay suddenly stands up dusting dirt off his back and reaches out his hand to you “come I’ll drive you home I’m assuming you woukd rather not go back in there” he raises a brow you nod hesitantly accepting his hand as he wraps it around your firmly.

“My car is about a 10 min walk are u fine with that? Well doesn’t matter if ur not we still have to walk regardless just letting you know anyway” you laugh a little feeling the sense of familiarity again this was more like jay. More like the jay you knew more like the jay you were used too. Yet that feeling in your stomach didn’t leave.

“Don’t do this again” you raise a brow “pardon?” Jay turns to you “going out in the dark at night in some alley by yourself something easily could have happened to you and no one would be there to save you” you roll your eyes “I know u don’t actually care about what happens to me stop acting like you do plus.. I was close to the beach house I would have been fine” jay sighs shaking his head “belive it all not im not a horrible human being your a girl and that make sure automatically vulnerable alone at night im just warning you love”

You humm “just save me next time then” you finnaly turn to look at him awaiting his reaction as he silently looks at you not saying a word. You quickly look away now feeling awkward regretting your exsistnce.

“Pay me I’m not playing superman for free”

Now at the car it’s mostly silent but a comfortable silence never in your life would you think you would be in jays car having him drive you to your dorm but life is full of surprises isn’t it. Soon you arrive home giving him a Short and firm bye before heading to your door.

Little to your knowledge even once you have entered your dorm Jay remains in his car watching you until he sees the lights shine in ur room confirming you have settled.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

Studying was supposed to be peaceful and quiet, but all of that was disrupted the moment you invited Jake to join you.

You wouldn't call him a nuisance, but he was more distracting than anything else. Every 4 minutes, he'd start chatting about strange stuff, and when he wasn't talking, he'd be toying with your hair or poking your check unless he was performing some random asmr with his pen. Sometimes you wish you could just duct wrap his mouth so he would stop talking.

“Jake... please I'm really trying to focus here you know I have an exam soon” he looks down as if you had just rejected or something it made you feel a little bad “Fine.. if you want me gone just say that!” He crosses his arms and looks away, and you sigh, rubbing his shoulder, “It's not that it’s just you talk too much, I need quiet... on second thought yeah, leave, we can hang out later.” You sigh and Jake's mouth opens wide at your unexpected change of direction, huffing silently as he turns to go.

Peace and quiet has made a comeback

You smile to yourself as you study, but as usual, your tranquilly is short-lived when you hear the loud smack of a book beside you. Looking up, there's no one but jay. You raise a curious eyebrow; hardly one visits this section of the library unless a friend tags along, and you've never seen Jay here.

“What brings you here you don't come here this is my space” Jay ignores you, bringing out his laptop, iPad, and any extra papers. “I've come here to study obviously your not the only one who has exams here and last time I checked your name isn't plastered anywhere here so this is everyone's space,” he smiles and returns to getting his stuff.

You groan, your gaze returning to your laptop to drown him out and remain focused. However, that was difficult to do given how fiercely he was looking at you.

“Um, is there a reason why you keep looking at me like that? It makes me uncomfortable.” Jay's eyes stay hanging on yours. “Looking at you? what is it a crime to look at another human being? Arrest me.” He rolls his eyes. You shake your head, closing your laptop and giving him your entire attention.

“Your looking at me like ur going to eat me alive I don't like it please direct your eyes Literally anywhere else” Jay chuckles, moving his head closer to the point your noses would almost just almost connect . “Maybe I should eat you so I don't have to hear your nagging every day. I'll devour you whole nice and slow..how does that sound?”

Unbeknownst to you, a flush rushed across your ears, to which Jay saw with a wide grin. “That's!..that's really inappropriate, Jay. You can't just say things like that to a woman.” He tilts his head, leaning closer. His hot breath stimulating your exposed skin.

“I didn't mean it in that way get your head out of the gutter you.. naughty girl tsk” he paused for a second before starting again “plus I don't really see you as a woman” you raise a brow in disbelief and offence.

“So you’re gay?”

He then abruptly moved back. “Gay? Don't make such a misleading statement; I'm really attracted to women.” You smile slightly, seeing this as an opportunity to twist him even further. “But if you do not view me as a woman, you must see me as a man? And you want to devour this man whole, don't you? Nice and slow Don't worry, your secret is safe with me,” you giggle, covering your mouth from laughing so hard as you watched the dread drown out his face, which turned pale.

“Shut up you’re always so loud and wrong you really think I like men?” You nod “this conversation is proof right here of the Jay is gay statement” Jay places his fingers gently squeezing his temple in vexation. He didn’t appreciate being accused of liking men when he clearly is straight and didn’t like that it was you out of all people.

But

Suddenly he felt the need-the urge to prove it to you he wanted to show you just how wrong you were he wanted to put you in your place and shut you up. So he did just that

Jay leans over in a matter of seconds, one hand behind your neck, the other yanking on your lanyard, forcing tight proximity as he slams his lips against yours. If someone walked in right now, they wouldn't believe their eyes. You didn’t belive it yourself.

His lips brushed against yours, softly and carefully, like you were fragile and he was scared to shatter or harm you. His lips graced yours like butterfly wings, just long enough for him to inhale your breath, feeling the warmth of your skin in his palm as he pulled you in deeper, and the flavour of your strawberry lipgloss lingered in his head, driving him insane.

As soon as it started it quickly ended as you somehow snapped back into reality and roughly pushed him for you. Not wanting to meet his gaze you turn hastily packing your things and leaving as quickly as possible. Leaving a stunned and confused Jay alone in the library.

You slide your back down the wall of an empty corridor, like a dramatic main lead In a teenage drama attempting to regain your calm and gain a grasp of what happened just a few seconds earlier. Were you crazy--or was he crazy? Why did he kiss you, and why was it so long? Most importantly, why did you like it? You loved it You smacked yourself to recover your focus. Choosing to disregard this portion of the day as if it never occurred so that you can sleep soundly tonight.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

After ten minutes of overthinking your life choices in the lounge area, the bell rings for lunch. You grab your phone and text Yunjin to come meet you as soon as possible. She soon appears and sits next to you. You had intentions of telling her but you couldn’t bring yourself too

“What's so urgent that you nee- you having a bad makeup day?” You lift your eyebrow “What?” “My makeup is fine, what do you mean?" she shakes her head, pointing to your lips. “Not your entire makeup, just your lip makeup, it's all smudged.” Flickers of the kiss swarm in your thoughts, making you nauseous.

You quickly get out your mirror attempting to fix it.

“Jay can I ask you something?” Jay nods as he takes a bite out of his sandwich “you smell unusual today” Jay raises an eyebrow, causing Jungwon and Sunghoon to focus on Jake's words: “Yeah, I noticed you smelled kinda fruity today, like... starberries” Jungwon continues, causing Jake to nod in agreement, “I don't smell like that; you're probably smelling something else.”

Unknowingly, while Jay continued to eat, seemingly a little concerned by the claims, Sunghoon discreetly watched Jay, his gaze fixed on the faint hint of lipgloss on his lips.

“Oh my gosh... look at his lips, there's lipgloss. You must have had some action before lunchtime,” Jake wriggles his brows, elbowing Jay. He gulps uneasily, caressing his lip and instantly recalling what he had done; he closes his eyes in regret. “Unless…ur gay? Or something I don’t discriminate ” Jake patted his shoulder

“I knew it I knew u were gay” jay now shoots his head up at that voice your voice as you and yunjin approach his table. You and yunjin were freinds with the rest of jays freinds and sometimes would eat with them though yunjin would limit interactions with jay as by her words “any enemy of my friends is an enemy of mine”

“Jay is gay?” Sunghoon laughs and finally joins the conversation, “Jay and gay, that rhymes!” Jake yelled earning some looks directed at your table Jay simply scowls, “Shut up, both of you.” Jay stands up and grabs his bag and sandwich before leaving. You sighed with relief as he went; sitting directly opposite him seemed wired after what had happened.

It appears that both of you failed to sleep well that night, so you spent it studying to pass the time, while Jay spent it twisting and turning in his bed, extremely upset and ashamed by his irresponsible behaviour. He wishes he could go back in time and prevent it from ever happening.

However, the burning sensation in his chest could not be ignored, and the taste of your strawberry lipgloss lingered on his tongue. He closed his eyes, remembering the taste and feel of your soft lips on his.

The next day was difficult, primarily because you had a council meeting, and of course the vice president had to be Jay, and you the head sadly had a private meeting every 15th, which left you two sitting in an office in silence

“Sooooo..” You spoke but no other words left your lips “should we reschedule this meeting at this rate we will make no progress if you can't even look me in the eye” you grimace a little

“Maybe if a certain somone didn’t just pull up and force themselves onto me I could look them in the eye” you whisper slightly folding your arms turning away. “Force? I didn’t force myself onto you it was mutual” you raise a brow “was it how?”

“You kissed me back and even added your tongue a little; you were clearly into it and wanted it- “shut up please” you placed your fingers on his lips, shushing him before he could humiliate you any further. “Can we change the subject I’m begging” Jay wanted to say more, but judging by your tone and look, he held back.

“Sorry” now, for the first time since this meeting began, you choose to look him in the eye “it was wrong of my to just kiss you out of nowhere I didn't respect your boundaries and I apologise” stunned, you remained silent for a moment before answering “thank you Jay” you smile a little for a split second before it fades away, not wanting to smile for too long because it's Jay after all.

He nods “can we like.. forget this ever happened” you don’t know what it is that you felt then but it was unsettling. You gulped it down agreeing with jays words. “Then let’s start this meeting then”

After a long 30-minute meeting, you and Jay split ways. You go to the library again because you have some free time and run into Sunghoon along the way. You consider many options for running. It's too late; he's already noticed you and invited you to come over.

“hi Sunghoon,” he smiles, waving, “hi y/n, so... do you have any free time right now?” You said, with a nod, “wanna come watch me practise at the rink?” You nodded again, but this time with too much enthusiasm, like a dog. You were embarrassed, but it was difficult to contain your excitement.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

It was chilly. Fortunately, Sunghoon, being the gentleman he is, offered you his puffer, and even though you declined it 15 times, he insisted on forcing you to put it on and zipping you up. The attention in this situation felt good.

You stared in admiration as he skated; he was truly in his element, doing what he does best. You were captivated by how beautifully he swirled and twirled. You hoped you could watch him every day if your schedule wasn't so busy. Interrupting your little display, Yujin texted you.

Yapper: me and the guys are comming over the the rink to ice skate do you wanna come with?

Me: I’m already there? I’m watching Sunghoon practice :)))

Yapper : ARE U LOT ON A ICEY SKATEY DATE? ARE WE INTERRUPTING

Me: NO. He just asked since I also had a free you guys can still come it would be fun I’ll let Sunghoon know

Yapper: if you say so 👀 and btw your bestie is comming

Me: shut up you know dam well he’s not my “bestie” call him that again and I’ll block you

Calling out to Sunghoon, you step down and stand at the edge so he can hear you. “The others are coming down to skate by the way." Sunghoon nods. “Is Jay coming?” You're confused as this was such an unusual and precise inquiry to ask; he should just assume he's coming. You wanted to question further.

“Why are you asking? Is there a reason he shouldn't come?" Sunghoon hastily shakes his head, “I was only wondering—“why? Did something happen?” Sunghoon shakes his head again, “no, I just want to know that's all,” you humm, not believing a word he says. It's times like these that your psychology major comes in handy it was obvious he was lying to you. “Jay is coming”

Soon after they arrived, as you had previously briefed Sunghoon, he prepared and distributed everyone's skates. Jake eagerly put on his skates, excited and ready to go and followed Sunghoon towards the rink. Even when Jungwon and Yujin joined, you still struggled to put on your left shoe.

You attempted to fit your foot in again but failed. You were ready to give up and just watch instead.

“Are you gonna cry over an ice skate?” He teased triggering your frown “No!..this is just really hard” you turn back and try to put it back on for the fifth time. Jay rises up and crouches down in front of you, keeping the shoe in place.

“What are you—“helping I'm helping you, dumbass I'm holding the shoe in place so you can put your foot in, go on.” You comply, pushing your foot in with ease. Before you could reach down to tie the lace, Jay beats you to it, tapping your foot lightly once he's finished. “Thanks” Jay hummed as he turned to leave. Realisation came over you immediately, and you grabbed the hem of his jeans. “Wait, I don't think I can walk on my own. Just help me to the entrance” Jay grumbled, carrying your body up with ease.

“I'll just hold your hand the whole way and bring you to Yujin alright” you agreed, and he now held your hand in his, and you felt the warmth again, just like that night. You didn’t want to let go. Though from afar a pair of flaming eyes watched the scene unfold

“Come on Sunghoon I'm showing you my spin!” Jake yelled as he dragged Sunghoon's arm, diverting his attention. Despite this, Sunghoon cast glances at you and Jay as you entered the rink hand in hand, like some corny couple, and clinched his teeth in anger.

“This is so scary!” Jay glances at you, “You haven't done this before?” You shake your head. “No... this is all new to me, which is why I couldn't do my other shoe properly.” Jay now turns to you, putting your other hand in his. “Do you want me to show you something? I won't let go; don't worry, I'm not the evil creature you see me to be” his comment makes you chuckle “you sooo are if there wasn't any witness I'm so confident you would let go and leave me to fall” Jay rolls his eyes and begins to skate backwards slowly. “w..woah there What are you doing!? What if you bumb into someone! And then boom I fall have an accident and crack my head open and blee-“shh..clam down love im a pro.. I know exactly what im doing now watch and learn newbie”

Jay effortlessly glides backwards, occasionally whirling the two of you in a circle, abruptly changing from fast to slow and slow to fast. It made you a little disoriented, but it was entertaining. Soon, your freinds took notice.

“ I never thought I would see jay and y/n that close to eacother with out any violence involved” jungwon said with a smile “same.. when i look at them now it's kinda cute don't you think ?” Yujin seems complexly clueless of Sunghoon's crush on you: “uh.. nahh, I don't see it”Jake rushes in and shuts off that particular issue, mindful of Sunghoon's facial expression. Jake quickly skates towards the two of you and splits you up.

“Hey guysss y/n I wanna show u somthing come” Jake takes your hands, replacing Jay's warm ones with his chilly ones and yanking you away from him. You felt empty again, and you weren't sure why.

After approximately an hour of ceaseless skating, the others left for ice cream, but you, Jay, and Sunghoon decided to go to study. It felt odd walking back to campus; you could sense the tension, as if you knew something had happened and wanted to know more.

Before u had the chance to bring it up Sunghoon departed calming “something came up” leaving you and Jay alone. It was silent but a comfortable silence you kept talking glances at Jay really only because he kept talking glances at you he seemed he wanted to say somthimg so you gave him the green light

“I know u have something to say don’t be a pussy” Jay chocked on air at the sudden directness “well.. if you say so then please just here here me out when I say this but I really need something form you it’s kinda last minute but your the only option I have” You nodd urging him to talk “my mom is hosting one of her business events but during it she wants to set me up with a daughter of one of her brand partners but shes..she’s I can’t stand her really and..I was wondering-hoping actually if you can step in just for tonight as my temporary date so my mom doesn’t set me with her…??” Jay closes his eyes expecting the worst yet you say nothing he opens your eyes to observe you

Your countenance gradually changes, and you burst out laughing, “Jay, I never took you for the funny type, oh my..” Jay doesn't find any of this funny and frowns “I'm being serious y/n” you glance at him and your face slowly lowers as you realise he is genuinely serious “ well first of all, I don't wanna be dragged into y'all's rich people drama before they assassinate me in my sleep or some shit” Jay throws his hands in the air “no!..no this is real life not some tv show bs your overthinking this nothing bad is going to happen its just one night stop being dramatic!”

“I am not finished. Second, you don't really like me, and I don't really like you, so it makes no sense that we act like a couple. Third, I'm sure someone else would be better for this... you're not all that dumb, so no way I'm a contender.” Jay sighs, recognising that convincing you will be more difficult than he expected. He lays his hands on both shoulders and shoots you with an expression of great desperation.

“I can't ask anyone else; it's this night, and I'm running out of time. You're the only person I think can handle or tolerate my mother. I really need this, please. I'll do everything, give you anything, just do me this one favour.” You place your finger on your chin and tap it, trying to prolong this moment enjoying every second of jays expression. You glance into his yearning stare. “Hmm, I don't know..” Jay holds your shoulder more tightly than previously. “Please y/n you owe me I've helped you 2 times now this is the least you can do for me” you let out a sigh giving in “sure give me 50k” Jay opens his mouth in surprise at the outrageous quantity.

“Oh that’s not..” you sigh “you said anything this classifies as anything your rich aren’t you? You’re basically a walking bank! this should be nothinggg” Jay sighs “fine..but only after you have gone I’ll send it to you understood” you nod “if this is what its like to have a sugar daddy..then I’ll gladly come to every event can you imagine? 50k per event I might as well drop out of uni and start travelling the world” Jay chuckles at your imagination he found you amusing.

“I think I'm a bit young to be a sugar daddy plus I would never willingly wanna spoil a brat like you someone like you needs discipline” your smile dimes kissing your teeth you pinch his arm earning a groan

“What makes you think I want you to be my sugar daddy!? I'm not a brat, and I don't deserve to be disciplined at all, especially by someone like you. Take your own advice.” Jay hums, “You want to discipline me? Didn’t know you were into that” He smirked, leading you to glance away. “Why are you saying it that way!..You're so weird Jay, this is why you don't get any girls because you're a fucking creep.” He laughs, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye.

“yet your going to a fancy event with this creep tonight aren’t you?”

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

Another thing you didn't expect was Jay to be in your dorm room, just you and him. Jay had bursted in pushing some bags into your chest.

“What's this?” He rolls his eyes. “Are you blind?” It's obviously shopping bags full of clothes and shoes. Use your common sense...anyway, I chose this outfit out for you, so go and wear it; the party is in an hour.” You grumble in irritation, going to the bathroom to change.

You would have preferred that instead of parting ways after the conversation, he had informed you of the timing so you could have begun working on your hair and makeup instead of turning up to close to the time where you were in your lounge wear

After getting ready, you come out and present yourself to Jay. It was a long wine-colored green dress shoulder less showing your collarbone. The sleeves ended at your wrist, slightly flared. It embraced your curves, trailing down to the floor and encompassing your body--in a wonderful manner. Jay matched it with gold earrings that flowed down, a simple necklace with a diamond in the centre, and low heels. Jay hummed in fulfilment, looking down at you from top to bottom.

“How do I look?” Jay nods, “You look good, so good I'll turn straight for you.” You smile and laugh at his comment. It seemed he did have a sense of humour. You excuse yourself shortly rushing to do your hair and makeup while Jay is getting ready in your room. Shortly after, you emerge, stunned to discover his finished look.

He was dressed in an all-black suit with a black turtleneck, which wonderfully highlighted his features, particularly his jawline. You didn't want to acknowledge it, but he looked great. You subconsciously ogled at him, and Jay smiled proudly. “You like what you see love?” You shake your head, “Meh, it's fine I guess.” Jay grins to himself at how quickly you denied, as if your mouth didn't water at the sight of him. “Well then let's get going wouldn't want to be late now would we”

Soon you arrive. Jay comes out and opens your door, assisting you out of the vehicle and locking it behind him. He rests his hand on your waist, but he soon removes it. You turn to him “Can I put my hands there? Are you okay with that?” You nod gently, reassuring him. He places his hand back there, confirming to you the warmth you didn't realise you were missing. It made you feel at ease.

You both walk in while Jay greets all these people you don't recognise. To say you felt out of place is an understatement; you were dressed appropriately, but you didn't feel the part. Soon, a woman appeared, and from her appearance, you could tell she was Jay's "scary" mother, his words not yours.

“Hello, my lovely boy. Oh! And who could this be? Jay smiles and pulls you closer, “This is my date y/n.. and y/n this is my mother.” You bow and smile at her. “hello it's lovely to meet you Mrs park” His mother looks you over, looking for flaws to criticise you for. She stiffly smiles, but you know it's not genuine. “Hello there dear.. it's a pleasure to meet you. What do your parents do hmm?” You gulp.

Clearly, you and Jay did not think this through; you had not prepared anything, so you simply stated the truth. “My father was a senior clinical psychologist and my mother is a paralegal” she hums as she takes a sip of her drink. “So your parents aren't doing so well,” “ah.. what a same” you wrinkle a brow, “pardon? What do you mean by that, Mrs. Park,” she shrugs.

“A psychologist? Might as well have been a doctor, far more money, and a paralegal, was it not enough to not just be a lawyer, maybe she failed law school? I guess.. everyone has to find a means to get by."

Your rage must have been obvious. Jay gently squeezed your waist, rubbing it slightly. You couldn't tell if it was to calm you down or a warning not to overreact, but you moved on impulse. No one would speak about your parents, especially your father, who had passed away.

“Listen here..Mrs Park. I do not appreciate your comments regarding my parents' employment. As you seem to be unaware about, a psychologist is a very wonderful vocation. My father was the head of his own business and owned it; he worked in private health care. He earned a lot of money, more than enough to fucking survive…” you took a deep breath to gain composure “Oh! and for your information, I'm also studying psychology so that when I'm older, I can be as successful as my father-and just because my mother isn't in the spotlight of a law profession doesn't mean her work is any less important; she does all of the behind-the-scenes paperwork without the help of others like her , lawyers would have nothing to present in court. I’m sure you didn’t know that since your mindset is clearly limited”

Mrs park gasps and opens her mouth to inject but you cut her off “My mother makes a lot of money; she's not a billionaire, but she lives nicely and has raised me and my brothers comfortably, so do your research before you start talking down on jobs.” You handed Jay your drink and turned away to leave.

Jay's mother was taken aback because no one had ever spoken to her like that before. She was silent; you chewed and spat her out. As yunijin would say “you ate that girl” Jay was fairly pleased of how you stood up for yourself in the face of disagreements. One thing he liked about you was that no matter who it were, you held firm for what you believed in and never gave in to anyone else. “That insolent, arrogant brat! How could she!?” Jay turned to his mother. “She may be a brat at times, but she is not arrogant in general please stop from talking about my date in any unfavourable way, mother…” Jay quickly turned to walk after you.

You sigh as you step out onto a random balcony, embracing the chill. You lean on the edge, looking over the neighbourhood and gazing at the stars.

“The sky is beautiful isn't it?” You humm your eyes, not leaving what is in front of you. “Are you trying to flirt with me right now?” He rolls his eyes “maybe.. is it working love?” you smirk “if anything im turned off repulsed even disgusted it- “alright no need to over do it like I'm some creature who lacks in every ability to charm a woman” you look him in the eye “maybe you are? But one things for sure you certainly did not charm ms back there park. Neither your mother but that’s not the focus”

Jay's smile shrivels under the implications of your words, and he moves closer to you. “Listen.. my mother, like I said, she's scary, and it's hard to voice my opinions against her.” You cross your arms. “I get that, but she basically humiliated and billeted my parents. I know we're not close, but even if you said something or tried to stop her, I'd have appreciated feeling like im not on my own back there...you know? But I think I anticipated too much from you.”

Jay sighed. “What do you mean by that, and what are you trying to say? Trust me, I wanted to say something but couldn't bring myself to…” “ I'm sorry, I really wish I said something. I didn't like how she talked to you either, and I want to take accountability for that because she's my mother. I feel partly responsible, especially since I brought you here; it's my fault. I'm so sorry, y/n, and I completely understand if you just want to leave, you can I won't force you to stay.”

You turn and move approach him. You had no idea what possessed you to do such a thing, but before you realised it, you had placed a palm on his cheek, cupping it. “Honestly, everything is fine. I get where you're coming from. I don't know about your relationship with your mother, but if it's as difficult as you claim, I'll go with it. It's fine; I handled everything on my own rather well, didn't I?” You smile to yourself with pride. “I’m an independent woman after all”

Jay returned the same look, and if it hadn't been so dark, you would have noticed how bright his cheeks were at the contact of your cold hands “I like my women independent” he winked at you, causing you to quickly retreat your hand back using it to hit his chest “s..stop it” Jay smiles “would you believe me if I told you I stayed silent because I knew you were going to jump in so there was no need..haha” you flick him in the arm, making him yelp “don't make me change my mind park” jay quickly shook his head “just a jokey joke..” You smile as you move towards the door, “No worries then let's continue what we started”

The rest of the night went nicely; Jay's mother scowled at you the entire time, but never said anything, which you appreciated, and the meal was as good as you expected. “So this is what you affluent people do when you're bored?” he shrugs. “I suppose so.. I have these all the time” “How do you have time to prepare for midterms? Especially if it's 11 p.m. and no one appears ready to go home” you raise a brow awaiting his reaction “well... I make it work and quit interviewing me” you frown

“I am not interviewing you. I am only asking some inquiries. Can't a girl be curious?” he rolled his eyes, “you seem too curious for someone who doesn't like me”

“Well maybe I don't like you a little less than before” Jay raises an eyebrow, querying how you worded your sentence “Clearly, you visit the library, but not enough. Your sentence is grammatically incorrect nevertheless, I know how to decode the drivel you spew, therefore I understand you.” As usual, Jay had to find a way to irritate you. “If you understand me, you could have just said thank you and called it a night.” Jay laughs, looking at his watch.

“Like you said it's getting late we have class tommrow come on let's go I'll drive you home” you nod “loving the jays girlfriend experience it's a shame you have such as attitude for that I'll rate it a 7/10” Jay stands up with his hand against your back, guiding you through the crowd. “A 7/10? Come on, I treated you well tonight; I even gave you this lovely outfit and shoes, and I- “woah, woah, cool down, I was just kidding.. you've been so sweet to me today I’ve basically fallen in love with you at this point” you smile.

“Your in love with me?” You hum “I said basically doesn’t mean I actually am don’t get my words twisted I know how badly you want me and all..” you wait for his response yet all he does is stare at you with a look. A particular look you recognise, the look he gave you before he kissed you that day. Was he going to do it again? You secretly hoped he would.

“Y/n actually I- Jay! Is that you my favourite nephew I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Dispite the interruption Jay isn't sure what hit him, but he wanted to make you smile like that again and again, and he yearned for another time when he could be alone with you and do whatever he wanted.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

From that day onwards You and Jay were near each other more from the start. You studied together, spent your spare time together, and even greeted each other in the hallway. While you still had some arguments and words flung back and forth, they were less frequent and less sour and bitter.

“Jay Jay Jay jaayyyyyyy” he hummed as you poked his cheek. He felt the sharp agony of your acrylics scraping his cheque, but not wanting to upset you, he took the pain silently, allowing you to do whatever you pleased. “I've been thinking we should go out,” he shoots his head up. “G..go out really ?” You agree, “Yeah, there's this cool bowling place that opened about 15 minutes away from campus; we should go together.” Jays smile dropped as glad as he was to go with you, he was hoping it was to “go out with you,” if you catch the drift

But Jay was happy that you were happy and that’s what matters now. Your closeness to eacother was somthing Your friends soon all picked up on yet no one questioned it too much because they were relieved that everyone in the group was now on good terms.

But was that really the case?

What was supposed to be a relaxed atmosphere transformed into an uneasy, uncomfortable quiet. Jay Jake Sunghoon and Jungwon are present, but despite the normal cheerful environment, today no one speaks.

“So.. what's up guys..” Jake sought to break the silence but received no response. He sighs and sinks into the chair, succumbing to defeat. “Actually Jake..” Sunghoon answers “I wanna know what's up too” he speaks addressing Jake, but his eyes are straight on Jays, and Jay understands precisely what he is talking about.

“If you have somthing to say just be straight with me Sunghoon” he clicks his tongue againt his check growing agitated “what I can’t seem to understand.. is how you wanted me to stay away from her so bad because she’s a “bad person” yet all of a sudden your associating yourself with you even hanging out with her privately which you never did before..”

“Honestly I wish I could give you a straight answer for that.. but I can't really explain how I feel and I'm sorry for how I acted back then towards you about it I shoukd have just been true with my intentions” he said “then what are your intentions” Jay gulped, little nervous beneath his gaze, “I like her too, Sunghoon, and I think I always have..maybe ”

The room fell silent as Sunghoon's eyes ramined on Jay's eyes, twitching fingernails digging into his skin as his skin redness became sore. “I feel like such a fool.. my best friend has been lying to me all this time I knew it that day with the smell it was y/n's I smelled the same when I invited her to ice skate with me.. you've been lying under my nose this whole time kissing her doing god knows what with he for all I know! when I expressed my fucking interest in her!” Jay felt terribly awful for how it all played out. He wished things had been different, he wished he had never liked you or that sunghoon had never liked you in the first place, but it was too late.

“Sunghoon, I-“save it” he stood up, grabbing his bag departing. Jay gazed down with regret. Jake sighed and hurriedly stood up to follow, while Jungwon remained behind to check on Jay.

Straight after class you proceed to the lounge and in the corner you find Jay and Jungown. You approach them ready to say high until you catch on to the vibes. As you gaze at their looks bewildered, you pry

“Guys? Is everything alright?” They both glance at you silently. Jay says nothing at first but mutters a brief “I'll talk to you later” as he collects his things and leaves. Jungwon tags along, giving you an apologetic look as he departs, leaving you perplexed and alone to ponder your feelings.

Jay has distanced himself since that day. Perhaps you would have preferred not to see his face back then, but the you now dreaded it. He became part of your routine, something you looked forward to, and now it's as if it never happened. You waved at him in the canteen one day, he looked away, (ouch) the next you asked him a question, he got up and left, the other at the store he made eye contact with you and went into another section , you called, he declined, you texted, he was online but left you on delivered.

It's almost pathetic how badly you wanted to talk to him despite the fact that he ignored you every time, but you didn't want to give up; you had some hope that he'd ultimately talk to you, but he didn't.

Yujin was becoming concerned about your state; you stopped hanging out with the others at lunch, you didn't respond to the group chat despite being the most active, you stayed in your dorm most of the time and stopped going out with everyone, and when you did, you looked tired and drained this wasn't like you at all.

“What could I have done wrong yujin.. I don’t understand we were so fine like 2 weeks ago then boom ghosted” yujin sighed as she pattered your back in attempts to comfort you she truely didn’t understand either “I really don’t know.. it seems you guys were fine from what I saw maybe it’s a him issue”

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

Now it's the 15th, the day you dreaded. You had no idea how you would deal with Jay, or if he would even show up, because he now appears to despise you. You felt your stomach churn, which was a restless sensation. Taking the deepest breath your body could bear, you opened the door to see Jay sitting with some papers and reading them. You silently step in, locking the door behind you and sitting a few seats away while bringing out your paperwork.

Silence. As you expected

But impulsively it felt like the one chance you had to receive answers and closure because there were no excuses for him to run away and ignore you. “Jay” he hummed, not looking up, “why are you ignoring me? Have I done something wrong?” Jay doesn't say anything for a moment but eventually says “no”

“Why am I getting silent treatment then? And look at me when I'm talking to you.” Jay sighs softly, looking up to meet your gaze, and immediately lowers in sorrow as he sees your expression. “I've been wondering for weeks what I must have done to irritate you.. but I can't put my finger on it. We were getting there, Jay and we were getting along..then you just cut me off out of nowhere. What was the point if you were just going to do this? You might as well have just let me live my life, but no you made things complicated.”

“I..I'm sorry” you scoff in incredulity. He's not sorry; if he was, he wouldn't have done this to you in the first place if he cared enough. “ If you were sorry, you would not treat me this way, or... is this the goal to make me like you so you can then mess with my emotions!? and make me feel like shit since you despise me so much? If so well done actor of the fucking year.. you fooled me for sure.” You shake your head standing up, Jay replicates your movement, reaching out quickly seizing your wrist.

“Hey... no, no, it's not like that at all! Please hear me out. I didn't want to handle things this way” you sharply, remove your hands from his grip. The warmth he once gave you feeling disgusting It's as if a switch went off in your head, erasing any developing feelings and replaced them with what you once knew.

“What? Want to mislead me again with your lies and restart the cycle? Cut it out, Jay, you've won! Are you pleased with your achievements? Are you satisfied? And to think I thought we could someday... well, it doesn't matter anymore, does it? I don't want anything to do with you, Jay.” Jay was frustrated and scared, and he didn't know what to do. He attempted to convince you, but you refused to listen.

You turn to leave, ignoring his pleads. “Jay, if you know what's good for you, stay away from me right now. You've been doing so well lately, I'm sure it won't be a problem for you. Keep up the good work goodbye Jay,” you turn away, slamming the door behind you, leaving Jay to linger in remorse.

In frustration, he smashed his fists against the table, turning red. He was extremely angry. Angry at himself for being so dumb and small-minded; if he had just been honest with you, maybe things would have been different. Jay wasn't sure what to call it, but it felt like heartbreak more than anything. A wave of anguish overtook him, robbing him of appetite. He felt intense pain in his midsection, like if a shard had sliced through his gut. It felt like death, like despair, choking his body's breath and shutting down his brain effecting his ability to think.

With each passing day, you take another step away from him leaving him in the dark as he once did to you , roles now reversed he feels the same pain you did. despite his constant request and pleas that you show some signs. Your eyes show him distrust, and an averted stare.

“She's leaving today she didn't even say goodbye” Jake frowns and looks down as Jay strides into the room, reading a brow. “Who's leaving?” Jake and Yujin froze. “Uh.. no body jay it's nothing” he crosses his arms “tell me” Yujin keeps her mouth shut to keep her world safe, whereas Jake blabbers your secret under even the slightest pressure.

“Y/n! She is travelling for Canada today- her flight is at 8:45” Jake hurriedly covers his lips while Yunjin slaps him harshly on the shoulder “your so... useless,” she sighs in annoyance now looks at Jay "if your thinking of going don't bother there is no way you will make it in an hour she will be gone and wants nothing to do with..”

Yunjin halts in her sentence in shock as Jay speeds out his room you could practically feel the gust of wind from the speed at which Jay ran to his car. This was his last chance he had to at least try maybe now maybe now you would be willing to talk to him and sourt things out he needed and has been yurning to be in your Presence for so long

You sighed as you waited in queue to board your flight. Was this a hasty decision? Perhaps would it would improve your mental health 100%, especially since it was only for the rest of the academic year you needed this time for yourself. As you go through your playlist, you select a song and discreetly hum along to it, closing your eyes and immersing yourself in the music.

“Y/n!”

You were so engrossed in your music that you missed Jay desperately calling out your name as you made your way to the front, scanning your passport and pulling your bags closer to the jet. Jay worried and tried to get closer to you, but the airport was packed with people "y/n!" He called for you again.

But it was too late your figure was gone.

You wonder occasionally if you and Jay were actually incompatible , and how two wrongs may function together so strangely. Was your perfect harmony a lie?. Was it only temporary, or was it even there at all?-Or simply a thought you deluded yourself into thinking since you craving his attention so much.

You guess you will never know and neither will he.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ

ᝰ.ᐟ - note : after being gone for moths I’ve finnaly had the motivation to writeeee. This has taken me days hopefully you enjoyed and thank you for reading ૮₍ ˶•⤙•˶ ₎ა

@SOOTREEPEAR

#sootreepear #enhablr #en web #jay x y/n #jay enha #jay x you #park jongseong #jongseong x reader #jongseong angst #enhypen jongseong #jay fanfic #enhypen jay #jay enhypen #enhypen x reader #jay x reader #enhypen #enhypen fic #enhypen fanfiction #enha

280 notes · View notes