#// stupid puns UGH i love them

[thinkingotherwise]

Kuro Tetsuro, his s/o, and their first kiss

My man <3 I had to write for him, just had to make him the first character from Haikyuu I post for.

Other captains

Kuro was an interesting person, to say the least. Additionally, or maybe, because of that, he attracted just as unique people, keeping them as his friends. You, being one of them.

You met Kuro during your junior high school days, and the moment he got to know your home was near his and Kenma's he decided to befriend you. Of course, being his friend you couldn't escape his favourite sport.

There were tens, if not hundreds, of times when he made you go with him and play volleyball, even if you weren't really interested in it. Other times you would either watch as Kenma had to join him instead of you, or the three of you played together.

You actually enjoyed watching them play rather than stumble trying to hit the ball yourself. There was just something in the way he enjoyed the sport. His grins and excited eyes every time he did exceptionally well during his matches. Even his prideful and cocky personality seemed to enchant you. It was just him and him alone that had that effect on you.

You liked Tetsuro, liked his every side, no matter how irritable he could be sometimes. If you had to pick one you loved the most, it would be his nerdy side, because of his passion for volleyball, which made him simply cool, and his knowledge about chemistry, which seemed to even his cool personality, as if he couldn't be too cool. And as it wasn't all because of his big brain and surprisingly great grades in the subject, it was his puns. His usually cringy and eye-rolling puns.

Sometimes you wondered if the puns came from his friendship with Bokuto, as the owl captain seemed like a person who liked to joke, but it may as well be Fukunaga, who although was silent, his interest in jokes was well known.

You used his talent for chemistry, with his approval, or more like with him telling you to. Tetsuro proposed to help you out when he noticed the poor score on one of your tests. It first had him laughing his hyena laugh before he turned to you and told you.

"You're a lost cause. Thankfully, I'm kind enough to become your tutor."

So you did use him, as he wanted, participating in the little tutoring sessions between you two. Did they work? Maybe.. Hard to tell, as he tried his best to explain the stuff to you, and your grades were better but...

"Is it any good?" You asked hopefully after finishing some exercises from the workbook. You pushed it to your left and toward him on the table and he grabbed it.

You put your pencil in your mouth biting on it as you saw his face twisted and eyes narrowed in focus. His pencil tapped on the workbook before he looked up and turned to you.

"Nah, not really, here I'll explain it again." Tetsuro said moving the book back in front of you as he started explaining the theory and exercise to you.

Even when you sometimes didn't get it at first and he had to talk you through the topic again.

You really appreciated him for that and it made you happy that he would spend some of the free time, he could spend playing volleyball, to help you.

"Hey, no worries. Just be like a proton." He said in the middle of his explanation and at the exact moment you started feeling like you didn't get anything once again.

'Oh no..' You thought knowing pretty well what was coming. Still, you couldn't help a small "What?" leaving your mouth.

You slowly turned to look at him with his stupid grin on his face.

"Stay positive." He giggled right after the line and you felt something in you break.

Unfortunately, although he was smart and very knowledgeable, he was still your idiotic Tetsuro. And it meant situations like that were happening regularly...

"Ugh.." A groan left you as your hand moved to your temple and massaged it slowly.

"I got more." His enthusiastic voice called and before you could say anything he continued. "What do you call an acid with an attitude?"

Your silence didn't stop him. On the contrary, it fueled his need for your approval.

"A-mean-o Acid."

"Tetsu." You said slowly.

Your gaze moved to him to see his proud face looking at you with that smile. It seemed like your look was too little to dishearten him. Tetsuro moved closer to you placing his elbow on the table and leaning his head on the palm.

"What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from? Separation anxiety." He answered to his own joke lazily, all while his eyes were stuck on you.

"Tetsuro please." Your begging voice echoed in the room making him chuckle.

And sometimes when he started he didn't know when to finish. The puns seemed neverending, you wondered where he got them from.

He sat up momentarily and leaned even closer to you.

"Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you?"

You felt your fist tightening as irritation started to gather inside you.

"Because I see no reaction."

'Please someone stop this.' You prayed in your mind.

You turned to your workbook and placed the tip of pencil on the exercise you had to correct.

"Can we go back to the-" You were cut off by his quick mouth.

"I wish I was adenine. Then I could get paired with U."

That was it, you've had it with him. You looked at him determined smacking the pencil down on the table.

His grin grew as he thought you finally liked his little pun.

"How did you-"

It was your turn to cut him off as you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer. Your mouth smashed against his keeping him silent.

Tetsuro was shocked at your move but soon smiled into the kiss and pushed his lips against yours. His hand moved to your face as his forefinger curled under your chin.

The moment you pulled away and your eyes opened you noticed the awed gaze in his. He breathed deeply and for a moment it was silent. Finally, he was silent, with no more chemistry puns. Just him looking at you, at your flustered face but unwavering gaze.

Unfortunately, the silence was quickly gone as Tetsuro broke it with his curious voice.

"Oya? What was that for? Not that I mind."

You held his gaze.

"To shut you up. Seriously, how many chemistry jokes do you know?" You answered.

"You want to check?"

Your eyes widened not believing he had more of them. This man had to search the internet to get to know so many of them. (I know I did)

"Do you want me to make you my bromine and oxygen?" He asked and resigned you waited for him to finish.

He smirked tapping the periodic table that was placed next to your workbook. You sighed your gaze searching for the two chemical elements.

"BrO?" You asked confused.

"Of course, I'd prefer something different." Tetsuro flirted with you his finger moving to your forearm and running along it.

"Then shush and help me understand this." You smacked his hand away.

Your hand moved back to the pencil you left on the table and you picked it pointing it at him.

"If I pass my exam then we can go on a date." You declared and he straightened in his seat.

"Oya? Oya?" Your words certainly got his attention.

"Focus! And no more fun facts till we finish."

The smile fell off his face.

"But I think these jokes are sodium funny."

"Tetsu, stop."

Nevertheless, you loved him, his passionate, charming, heck even his nerdy side.

[the-trapper-talks]

He couldn’t understand whatever was mumbled, but didn’t really want to know either. He just wanted to get back to base and eat- or maybe he could eat on the walk back. What an idea! It wasn’t like there was anyone to scold him on enjoying a delicious whole fish. Unfortunately, Trapper was snapped out of his thoughts as he was spoken to again.

Prepare? Well… he could technically cook them. He wasn’t a very good cook though, and he didn’t want to accidentally burn the fish… “I am not sharing, and I do not know what you mean by… prepare.” What a stupid thing to do. Trapper could just eat them how they came! There wasn’t anything wrong with it.

“The fish taste fine how they are.” The man nodded, approving of his own words. Sure, many years ago he had gotten a little sick from doing such a thing, but he had learned to savor and enjoy the taste of raw fish over the years. It was good. He liked the lingering taste of he sea. Food was food.

🪤

@meet-the-net :-)

// @meet-the-net

Reading the directions he was given by Miss Pauling, he hesitantly stepped over enemy lines. It was a ceasefire day after all, he would be fine… he hoped. Trapper head been told there was a store around here that sold fish and other seafood items, and boy did he love seafood. Barely even reading the sign on the store when he spotted it, he opened the door and walked in, tense but very hungry as he eyed the food.

“You are… the fish guy, yes? Do you have sales?”

[king-candybug-backup]

You're gonna kill me with these Turbo & Vanellope scenes. Turbo looks at her with a slight fondness in his eyes? Are you kidding me. Are you joking. Also them making puns together is adorable!!!

Ugh im ill about them & its ALL YOUR FAULT

YOU DID THIS I BLAME YOU🫵

Killswitch's 1# glazer

HIS REDEMPTION ARC IS MOVING AT A GLACIAL PACE AND AT CONSTANT RISK OF REGRESSING, BUT AT LEAST IT'S MOVING 😂😂😂

Seriously thank you though UGH I LOVE WRITING THEMMM THEY'RE SO STUPID *throws keyboard out window*

[purpleprincessonfyre]

Liane Pissing Off Ji-Hoon and Vice Versa 🔥❄

A tale of two frenemies, featuring @calmbeforezero and cameos from @ask-missparker

WARNING: May contain ice puns, snow jokes and general frenemy fuckery. And mild threat.

Ji-Hoon: This stupid game! How do you keep winning?

Liane: Years of practice...no seriously years.

Ji-Hoon: Dammit!

Liane: Hey Ji...

Ji-Hoon: Don't you dare...

Liane: You could always just...Let it Go...

Ji-Hoon: *leaps up* That's it! I will turn that smiling face into an ice sculpture!

Liane: *runs away laughing*

🔥

❄

*Ji-Hoon showing off a potential new suit*

Liane: You look really stupid.

Ji-Hoon: *grumbles* I feel it.

Mia: He doesn't.

Liane: You look like an absolute tool.

Ji-Hoon: Mia will you tell her?

Mia: Stop it, Felton.

Liane: You look like one of The Incredibles..

Ji-Hoon: *sighs*

Liane: Frozone!

Ji-Hoon: Right if you make one more comment about me in these suits, or just about me in general- listen to me! I am taking those shiny Louboutain heels- you hear me, and I will shove them up your ass! Okay?

Liane: *goes silent*

Mia: Yeah it's just a case of tweaking it here, lengthening the sleeve here, we'll do that of course.

Ji-Hoon: Yeah. It's not bad, is it?

Liane: Yeah it isn't actually. *pause* Jack Frost.

Ji-Hoon: Right c'mere!

Liane: *squeals, running away*

❄

🔥

Mia: Dinner's ready. Liane go get Ji-Hoon from his room- oh wait no-

Liane: Too late! *runs to his door* Ji-Hoon? *knocks five times rhythmically* Do you wanna build a Snow- *gets hit in the face with a lot of snow*

Ji-Hoon: *smiles through the door* Now what did you actually come to say?

Liane: *her eyes glow purple through the snow, melting the snow to vapour with her fire* Dinner's ready...

Ji-Hoon: Excellent.

Mia: *from the kitchen* WHY IS THE SMOKE ALARM GOING OFF!?

Ji-Hoon: She started it.

Liane: Ooh you-

🔥

❄

Ji-Hoon: See, the problem is, Liane, you’re playing 3D chess. I’m playing 4D.

Liane: I’m playing checkers. I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing.

❄

🔥

Liane: We should normalize not loving family members.

Ji-Hoon: You can just say: “I hate my dumb fuck brother” or whatever. Talk like a normal person!

🔥

❄

Ji-Hoon: Are you alright?

Liane: Short answer or long answer?

Ji-Hoon: Short?

Liane: No.

Ji-Hoon: Long?

Liane: Nooooooo.

Ji-Hoon: You skipped therapy again, didn't you?

Liane: I- ugh!

❄

🔥

Ji-Hoon: I think you're still suffering the effects of the party last night.

Liane: All I drank was Redbull!

Ji-Hoon: How many?

Liane: Eighteen.

Ji-Hoon: I will freeze you if I have to.

🔥

❄

*Ji-Hoon and Liane are texting*

Ji-Hoon: Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone.

Liane: What did they change my name to?

Ji-Hoon: Chosen One.

Liane: Don’t change it back.

Ji-Hoon: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?!

Liane: I’m the chosen one.

❄

🔥

Ji-Hoon: What the hell is wrong with you?

Liane: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

Ji-Hoon: Pretty sure that's genetic...

🔥

❄

Liane: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!

Ji-Hoon: ...

Liane: Oh, right. The lying.

Ji-Hoon: And the incessant teasing, the inflated ego, the...pinkness.

Liane: Alright! Geez, just give me the cold shoulder already.

Ji-Hoon: *glares*

Liane: *beams* You love me really.

❄

🔥

Liane: *venting endlessly to Ji-Hoon about their week*

Ji-Hoon, every once in a while: *in a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.

Liane: Are you even listening?

Ji-Hoon, deadpan: Absolutely.

Liane: Okay good. So anyway-

Ji-Hoon: *puts in earphones*

🔥

❄

Liane: *playing Into The Unknown over JARVIS speakers, singing along*

Ji-Hoon: Could you be anymore annoying?

Liane: Yes.

Ji-Hoon: Ask a stupid question...

❄

🔥

Liane: Hey, can you do me a favor?

Ji-Hoon: Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this.

Liane: You don’t even have a legitimate reason?

Ji-Hoon: Oh, no, I do.

Liane: Well, what is it?

Ji-Hoon: You see, I simply don’t give a fuck.

Liane: Dammit!

🔥

❄

Ji-Hoon: I'm going to say this very slowly in the hopes you understand. Felton, you can't do this without supervision.

Liane: I am a responsible adult!

Ji-Hoon: *raises brow*

Liane: I am an adult.

Ji-Hoon: You are a problem.

Liane: I'm your problem. For the next forty-eight hours.

Ji-Hoon: Right.

❄

🔥

Liane: *softly singing Frosty The Snowman*

Ji-Hoon: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?

Liane: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

Ji-Hoon: No references to Elsa, Jack Frost, Frosty the Snowman, Frozone or The Snow Queen.

Liane: Well, dammit.

🔥

❄

Liane, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.

Ji-Hoon: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

Liane: Do you think you're cool when you act all brooding and snarky?

Ji-Hoon: Yes I do.

❄

🔥

Liane, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?

Ji-Hoon: …

Ji-Hoon: What’s in the box?

Liane: What woul-

Ji-Hoon: Liane, what’s in the box?

Liane: I think you know.

Ji-Hoon: Felton! You are not a childless cat lady!

Liane: I could be!

🔥

❄

Liane: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?

Ji-Hoon: Your life?

Liane: I- well yes, but- shut up!

🔥

❄

Ji-Hoon: Are you tall enough to play basketball though?

Liane: Are you calling me short?

Ji-Hoon: I'm calling you vertically challenged.

Liane: Bite me, Elsa.

Ji-Hoon: Oh you're going down.

❄

🔥

Liane: Good morning!

Ji-Hoon, checking their watch: Barely.

Liane: It's morning somewhere.

🔥

❄

(Liane and Ji-Hoon go undercover)

Ji-Hoon: This is Liane, she's… not my assistant, some other word.

Liane, smirking: I’m his carer.

Ji-Hoon: Yeah, my carer. She cares so I don’t have to.

❄

🔥

Ji-Hoon: Your problem is that you’ve got no common sense.

Liane: I’ve got plenty of common sense!

Liane: I just choose to ignore it.

Ji-Hoon: That's the most coherent and honest remark you've ever made.

Liane: Aww thanks! *hugs him*

Ji-Hoon: I hate you.

Liane: I know.

🔥

❄

Hope you enjoyed! And yes the long one is an adapted version of a scene from Britcom Gavin and Stacey.

Tags: @askstevella @ask-starrk @marvelsfavoriteuncle @ms-tiana-xoxo @rickb-chaos @luna-d-marsh @wizzzardofoz @ethan-lensherr @elzabeth-stark @afterhours-witheli @therealdaydreamstark @spotted-ac-richards @sadiesadieagentlady @trulysummersprivate @jackiequick @gcthvile @blueboirick @aidanxsophxoxo @meiramel @thechoooooosenone

[theflagscene]

Idol Factory’s 2025 Lineup Reaction

Didn’t get to really sit down and focus on the pilot trailers that IDF dropped today because I was busy af, but it’s late now and everything has quieted down, so here I am.

My Sweetheart Jom / SaintPoom - This looks like the perfect story for Saint’s return to QLs, he’s in his element here. It’s funny and sweet, it’s giving me a slightly less dramatic ATOTS feel. The outsider from the city being taken in by a small insular village community, falls for the chief, finds happiness away from the hustle and bustle of Bangkok. Obviously that’s just on the surface, there’s more to both plots, but surface level, it has the same feel, ya know? There was a lot less of the mafia story shown than I was expecting, considering that’s the entire reason Yo ended up having to go to the village to hide out whilst he finishes his studies. Poom is adorable, but we knew that. He’s really showing acting growth since The Sign, I look forward to seeing more of his work. Saint is just always a pleasure to see, talented as ever. They seem to have decent chemistry, I hope IDF drops some workshop footage because I cannot imagine how nerve wracking it must have been for Poom when he was first cast to work with Saint. That guy is his boss, he’s his bosses boss! And now he’s gonna rub up on the CEO of the company for the whole world to see, that is legit a BL trope lol! Also, possible side GL couple? Cute, just cute all the way around. The grandma I can already see being added to my list of QL grandparents that I wanna keep in my pocket!

Somewhere Somehow / FayMay - Why was this so adorable!? I’m not a huge romcom person, although in QLs you kind of have to grin and bear it because comedy is a huge part of the romantic set up. But this seems to be a straight (heh puns) up romcom and it looks really cute! FayMay are really good together, they have an easy camaraderie and chemistry to them, it is very natural, has been since they shared their first scene together in The Sign. I loved the fourth wall breaking, I wonder if they’ll do that in the actual series or if it was just a bit for the trailer. Either way, cute!! Also Looknam, she’s always a joy to see. I wasn’t expecting Surprise or Heng to show up, so that was great. Also we get it Looknam, Heng is your man, someone write them as a couple in a series before she loses her mind lol. (Are they actually dating? I know she likes to talk about how hot he is 🤔 Eh, it’s none of my business either way.) I would like to know who at IDF I have to bribe to give HenSurprise their own series, or at least cast them as a couple again. That is if they want it, they might not want to play a couple again, which I support. They were just so great in SCOY that it would be great to see them together again. Anyway, I’m rambling, moving on!

Cranium / FreenBecky - Ngl, this was one of the ones I was most excited for and the trailer left me somewhat disappointed. Could be because FreenBecky didn’t have as much time to film as the others did considering how busy they are, or that the script is being super difficult to get evened out, even for a pilot trailer. Either way I was left with a sort of ‘meh’ feeling about this one. It was marked as rivals to lovers but apparently it’s lovers to enemies to lovers, which okay, pop off. But the stupid miscommunication trope, ugh!! I’ve seen some terrible miscommunication in QLs but this one just might take the cake, Pin legit leaves the freaking country because their boss gives a wanted work assignment to her girlfriend!? Y’all couldn’t even sit down and talk for a second!? Even your co-worker/friend was trying to point out that it was an overreaction, but Pin was being a complete bitch! I’d hate her ass too if she pulled that shit on me and acted like getting an assignment over her was some kind of personal betrayal. Girl, get thee to a therapist!! Besides that absolutely horrible manufactured drama, it was awesome to see Freen kick ass! And I was not expecting a supernatural element at all! I approve of that, bring on the spooky! Give me all the damn spooky! So yeah, this one seemed to have the weakest trailer, but hopefully it’ll come out strong when it airs.

Interminable / BillyBabe - Obviously, this was the one I was looking forward to the most. Firstly is that it’s beautiful! Stunning visuals, Babe’s traditional singing is haunting (very fitting), the vibes are absolutely perfect. The story is clearly a sad one, dramatic and dark. A classic hateful femme fatale, homophobic abuse tossed about—it is a historical drama so duh—violence and death. This will be a tear jerker for sure, but also such a sweet love story. BillyBabe deliver on the romance though, they are so good at it, so believable. The reincarnation and ‘if I can’t have him no one can’ plots are a little repetitive, they already did that in The Sign, I hope BillyBabe don’t get pigeonholed by this trope. Being a heart eyed simp is a good role for Billy, because he’s a simp with heart eyes for Babe on the regular. And again with Heng lol! I love that him and Billy are best friends so Heng keeps getting cast the the person thing to steal Billy’s man, because the three take it off set and IRL for the most ridiculous type of jealousy skinship ever and it’s lowkey adorable how much Billy pouts. But I digress, this one looks like it’s going to be very emotionally draining, which can be both a good and a bad thing. I’m going with good, because considering there are two campy romcoms and one spooky thriller in the line up, IDF needed a good drama and this looks like it’s going to deliver.

[sempsimps]

Gregory violet song scenarios

so this is a bunch of random scenarios and head canons i have of this emo boy and i even made a playlist for it becuse im so prepared for this also i do edit the lyrics a tad to fit the time its set in and vibe of the shorts so like if that bothers you sorry i guess (also i wanted to experiment with the tumbler coloured text i think it looks so cool) but this is mostly x reader so sorry if that's not what you want im just brain rotting at this point i cant do this lmao also i would like to say i unfortunately dont have the manga so i actually dont know whats going to happen sorry

starting with the honourable runner ups i think these songs fit but i couldn't think of what to write for them

Necromancing dancing - bear ghost (pun intended) "when im necromancing, everyone's dancing, no one can stop me i dare you to try! the dead are infused with sentential grove"

i don't wanna fall in love - she wants revenge

ramblings of a lunatic - bears in trees "would anybody listen to this the ramblings of a lunatic"

everything is temporary - cavetown "sticks and stones they say that we dont have bones inside our brains"

mamas boy - Dominic fike "m-a-m-a-b-o-y mamas boy mamas boy"

im not a cynic - Alec Benjamin "i swear im not a cynic im just being realistic"

cats - the living tombstone "meow meow meow meow memeow"

they/them - atlas, jhfly

house of wolves - my chemical romance

plucked - destroy boys "take a bird from the sky and you wonder why she wants to fly"

nobody - mitski

underachiever - NOAHFINNCE "nothing beats the life of an underachiever"

the adults are talking - the strocks "dont go there you never return and i know you think of me when you think of her"

(lowkey heathers the musical JD looking ass)

WARNING ANGST IS HERE

your stupid face - Kaden macay (oh no + verse 2)

Gregory in third person pov - the realisation he liked you

he was zoning out at the swan gazebo and drawing some sketches with his charcoal pencil. The first bit of the facial anatomy was done, and he used French bread to remove the lines. to make the face he slowly did the eyes and made them defined and full of life, the nose features, and soon enough he had nearly finished carefully doing each strand of hair falling perfectly around the face he wasn't even thinking about who it was but when he stopped to finally look at it realised who it was. 'Oh no,' looking at it more, he tilts his head back, closing his eyes shut to not let the sun make him dizzy. 'noooo' now he was roughly pressing the charcoal to the paper. 'i just really like you face' drawing the smile you always wore around him. 'Ugh, you don't have to look so happy..' he kept drawing, now to try and get it just right. remembering all the times you expressed it. 'im not really into the love that you flaunt in some bright font' smirking to himself 'but if that's what you want ill make it snappy.- wait what' he looked around noticing no one was looking at him he sighed 'i just feel so out of place' he finished your face. 'but not when you near me' moving on to the shoulders. 'when your gone, I'm like a plant with no root' he made quick work of the shape and made the clothes 'or a ball that's on mute' he smiled looking at his work 'don't you dare call me cute, you should fear me' a hand on Gregory's shoulder makes him jump, it was bluewer telling him he needs to sort out a purple house conflict, and to bring cheslock to sort out a fight. sighing and carefully putting his sketch away, a small smile on his soft features. 'Now i like your stupid face'.

soundproof - destroy boys (verse 1 before chorus)

panic attack from social anxiety (if uncomfortable then skip it) - he got amongst the dancing and hated it

it was after the big cricket game that he had to be there for appearances, empty streets are just as soundproof as studios and big crowds. and there were people dancing already. It was making him dizzy, just looking. 'keep me away from here' but when he somehow ends up in the middle of the hall he starts to panic 'how'd i appear on this stage' he was amongst all the dancers getting in the way of some getting bumped into. 'im taking up too much space.' his head was spinning from all the movement, and he felt eyes on him. 'Look away, please don't look this way.' Feeling a hand on his arm leading him out of the hall, too dizzy and unfocused to see they walked outdoors, the fresh air bringing him back down to earth. not sure who it was, but he thanked whoever it was as he started to calm down, taking deep breaths. 'i don't ever want to hear myself ever again'

disco! in the panic room - bug hunter (chorus 2)

in your pov third person - dancing again i dont know im losing the plot as i write. sorry to the amab readers this one this feminine

i was in disguise at the school, as ceils older brother, as I saw him as one. and missed being in a dress. so after the cricket game was announced, and shown it was underway, i went behind the door to get into a dress. i was hiding one underneath my cloak, i let the dress fall from the purple robe it set nicely, and i just simply wrapped the fabric around my waist, like a bow. and headed out to find Gregory, he was still upset about the fire, and wanted to leave as fast as he could. and i understood, but i wanted to dance with him just a little. He was just out of view of everyone trying to leave, and i pulled him into a room with a bright smile. "hiya, would you like to dance in the panic room violet?" He simply smiled. "I made a promise so sure." he held my hands, and i started to slowly waltzes in a random backroom. away from the crowed and prying eyes and i could see that every few movement he was getting more and more pale, as we turned slightly in the dance "Now I feel nauseous, As if I drank a cup of stuff you clean your countertops with" i giggle a little as we stop. he lets go of my hands, to hold his head, he feels dizzy but i come prepared knowing about this, with some water in a canteen. "you probably did But Lysol won't solve this, so have some water." i handed his the medium sized flask, to which he hesitantly took a sip with shaky hands. "im out of options, arnt i?" he softly smiled after a few moments, and i was satisfied to get a little dance. making sure he was okay. but i felt bad. "you can head back now i understand this was a lot, sorry" he sighed "oh its okay and thank you, It's past my bedtime and I'm honestly exhausted" i smile as he hands back my water flask. "But if you want me, I'll be here." Gregory and i walked out of the room and said out good nights before he went wherever, and i returned to the ballroom to see Elizabeth and everyone.

fire on fire - sam smith (chorus 1 like half of it)

Gregory pov - looking at you from outside the purple house fire (and i realise that the song is more about love but i want the angst so deal with it)

i stood there, my eyes filled in fear, as the boarding house burned. i couldn't move, I don't say a word stuck in place, you grab my hand i should be used to it, But still, you take my breath and steal the things I know. just like the fire that i couldn't look away from, a soft hand leading my face away to look at you. There you go, saving me from out of the cold, but i couldn't do anything. but blankly stare at you. tired and scared features, eyes slowly morphing to cry. Fire on fire would normally kill us, and this was on the inside. i was breaking down as i saw how distraught everyone was. I couldn't keep it in much longer. but then the other prefects showed up, and i didn't have time for it, so i pulled my hood up to hold it in, letting go of your hand to do something.

Love me not - eimi (verse 3?)

the part that's always on TikTok but it is a good song- anyway this is at the dating stage and you try to get help from your friends idfk

Sitting on the grass, in front of the bench in the middle of a courtyard, talking with Ciel, soma, and your best friend, the latter two interested in how the relationship was going with Gregory. so far all you could describe it as was confusing, when they asked how. you stood up and started pacing in front of them finger to your chin like how a detective dose it but moving to act out and get you point across better. "Does he really love me? Does he think I'm too much." My pacing stops as i shook my head and returned to walk around. "Am I hanging by a string? Am I pushing my luck?" I looked at the two with confusion, hands out, doing some gesture. they were still intrigued, and i just wanted an answer. "He says I'm his beloved. He says I'm enough. but every time I kick and scream, he tells me to shush!" waving your arms up and down in frustration, and at this, the friends pay more attention. shock on soma's face, making an o shape. "He told you to what!" My best friend joining in, equally surprised. "he told you to, huh!" Ciel bored of our shit huffed out a sigh before speaking. "I think you shouldn't really worry. and you're blowing this up," and I hastily replied, almost yelling. "But I'm falling in love! Does he wanna break up!?" I gripped the hood of my purple house uniform, pulling it over my face, which was red in embarrassment, and I felt some paper in there. taking it off my head a small envelope fell out of my hood, it had a clear purple wax seal with the house cress. 'That wasn't there before'

absence - Rio Romeo chorus + verse 3

Gregory in third person this is angsty, and sad. description of dying

he was thinking about what was going to happen all the experiments, but he unwillingly took part in. he couldn't shake it a feeling of impending doom. he knew the things he did, and that didn't warrant him to be sorry for himself, but he couldn't eat or sleep, even drinking something seemed impossible. then his thoughts came back to his friends. He couldn't stop thinking about how they would react, to him dying. 'If i just vanished, do you think you'd manage' laying in his bed contemplating how you would miss him. 'Or would you disappear right besides me?' A tear came into his eye. As he continued to think of you, how would you react to what he's done, more and more tears came out, little by little. 'Do you think you're ready? When i went unsteady,' his tears ran down his checks, smearing the eyeliner. 'lover, please prepare for my absence.' he stifled his cries with the ball of his palm, keeping it in. lipstick smearing on his hand as he bit down harder, more tears rolling down, landing on his pillows staining them. 'absence makes the heart grow stronger', wiping away his tears with the back of his hand. 'pray my baby will not squander everything to gain by my leaving' taking his hands away from his face, to look at them they shook, as he starred at them blurry vision from crying, the bite mark on his right one blending red. 'and if i return the favour.' thinking to all the sweet parts you shared together. 'pray my baby always saviour, every moment we were both present' sitting up to hunch over head in his hands quietly sobbing, the walls were thick and he knew it but it hurt to cry louder.

oh boy that took some effort i was going to so many more but i just cant but i do kinda love what i did i think it matches his character well I hope it matches at least and again here is a link to my playlist i hope it works if not i have the same name on Spotify but non the less i hope my writing doesn't suck :) (feeling like the Q.A from welcome home "I want it out open open open" lmao MAYBE IM A LITTLE DELULU RN WHO KNOWS) ALSO ive never written angst before so i hope that was good idfk

https://spotify.link/tg5qbp9ZgJb

[nonsense-with-jelly]

Mauga and Doomfist hcs with an s/o who who makes the most corniest jokes?

Corny Jokes S/O

Headcanons (for Mauga and Doomfist)

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Mauga

I bet he loves his S/O's corny jokes

It could be anything from puns to dad jokes. He likes hearing them tell their corny jokes

If they hadn't said a corny joke in a while, Mauga will think that something's wrong. He'll even try to crack a joke of his own to cheer them up if needed.

The last person to snap at his S/O over their corny jokes ended up full of holes and unidentifiable.

Mauga knows how much his S/O likes corny jokes that for holidays and their birthday, he'll get them a shirt with some stupid joke or pun on it. Like a bee shirt with "Bee-lieve in yourself" or an owl shirt that says "you're a real hoot"

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Doomfist

He tolerates his S/O's corny sense of humor.

He fights himself so hard to not go "UGH" when he hears them say "do you wanna hear a joke?"

He knows those jokes probably keep his S/O happy, and if they're happy they do better with your daily life and other stuff, so he doesn't tell them to stop.

He wont openly admit it, but he gets worried when his S/O doesn't crack one of their corny jokes. He'll pull them aside and ask if everything is alright.

He would probably kill anyone who makes their S/O feel bad about their corny jokes.

◇■□◆□■◇■□◆□■◇■□◆

Author's Note

I hope this is ok, I wasn't sure what all to write for this, I hope this is fine.

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 11: Henry the Man-Beast

~The Man Cave~

As per Ray's orders, (y/n), Henry and Charlotte were sorting out all the junk which was kept in the Man Cave's storage rooms. There were machines, boxes, spare parts, and it was all theirs to reorganise. Of course, (y/n) loved a tidy workplace, but the prospect of the three of them doing all the work in one afternoon was exhausting.

"Ugh, why do we have to reorganise the stupid storeroom? Shouldn't Ray be doing this?" Henry asked the woman, who was emptying a load of boxes.

"Probably, but he's the one paying you two, so just tell Charlotte what that is so she can write it down."

"Uh, it's a big, heavy thing with things on it." The boy described it since he had no idea what it was or what it did.

"Great. Another big thing that's a thing with things on it." Charlotte complained. Her list wasn't making much sense.

"Ah, whatever." Henry shrugged it off, thinking that the poor stocktaking would make Ray sort through his own stuff next time.

"Right, you two, I'm going to take these back. Oh, don't touch anything while I'm not here, some of this stuff's pretty dangerous." (y/n) warned them in a serious voice, wheeling the boxes through the door next to the supercomputer.

"Ok." Henry leaned against a machine once she had disappeared. An orange light fizzled out from the top of the device and shocked Henry, making him convulse in pain. Charlotte watched in horror as the shock came to an end.

"What are you doing? Ray and (y/n) said not to mess with this stuff." She told him in a concerned voice.

"I wasn't messing with it. I just leaned on it--" The teen boy was cut off as Ray and Schwoz came through the sprocket.

"You're wrong," Ray said to his friend.

"I told you that--" Schwoz tried to argue back, but he was interrupted by the larger man.

"Give it up, Schwoz! The answer is wild monkeys." He shouted.

"It's not--" Again, Ray's voice overpowered him.

"Well, I told you you're wrong." They were both stubborn men, and without a referee to control them, their arguments got the better of them.

"I told you the answer is soup." Schwoz protested, the two of them walking down to where Henry and Charlotte were stood.

"Well, I disagree." Ray noticed the kids standing around.

"Okay, let's ask them." He gestured to the teens.

"Ask us what?" Since (y/n) was busy, the job of settling their squabbles was up to Henry and Charlotte.

"If you kids had to choose, would you rather..." Schwoz started.

"Be eaten by wild monkeys..." Ray said his answer.

"Or you get boiled in a big pot of soup." Schwoz finished, passing the query to the kids.

"What kind of soup?" Henry asked, as (y/n) came back, smiling when she saw all her friends together.

"Someone say soup?" She asked.

"Listen, my favourite little helper, would you rather--" Ray started to ask her, but unexpectedly, a beeping red alarm sounded on the wall. 

"Ugh, Gooch needs me. I'll be back down in a sec." Charlotte groaned, knowing her time in the Man Cave was up.

"Hey Ray, can we finish going through all this stuff tomorrow?" Henry asked his boss.

"Why? It's only five o'clock." Ray looked at his watch in confusion.

"We can't leave all his crap lying around." (y/n) said to Henry, the thought of living with a huge mess made her skin crawl.

"I know it's just that..." Henry started, but Charlotte shouted over from the elevator.

"He wants to leave early--" She tried to explain.

"Don't tell them!" Henry warned her.

"Okay. Henry's got a date!" Charlotte quickly said as the elevator doors closed and she went upstairs.

"Why did you have to--ughhh." Henry frowned and then turned around to the smiling adults behind him.

"It's not a date." Henry tried to keep them calm, but their excitement only grew. Henry, on a date? Yeah, they were going to be ecstatic!

"I bet it isss." Schwoz teased him.

"You gonna wear your fanciest pants?" Ray joined in, as the blush on the boy's face grew.

"You guys are terrible." (y/n) punched the two men on their shoulders, Henry glad she was there.

"Is she pretty?" She smiled cheekily at him, revealing that she was just as bad as the other two when it came to Henry's love life.

"Can I knock off early or what? And yes, she's very pretty." His answer made (y/n) squeal, happy that the kid was crushing on someone.

"Yeah sure, kid." Ray smiled at him.

"Thanks." The boy walked towards the tube area.

"Hey, where are you going to take her?" Schwoz asked him.

"To dinner at Sotto Voce," Henry replied, impressing the woman who looked up at where he was standing. 

"Oooo, Sotto Voce. I wish I had a man to take me there." She said, a tiny bit jealous that a 13-year-old girl was getting better dates than her. Ray looked at his best friend with a wistful gaze, wishing he could be the one to take her to dinner.

"How can you afford a place like that?" The superhero asked Henry, knowing that the classy restaurant was way more expensive than what he could afford.

"Because I took 100 bucks out of your wallet." Henry showed him the bill, as Ray's smile fell.

"What?" He said, as (y/n) laughed. Man, he'd been hustled by a kid half his age.

"Up the tube!" Henry was off before Ray could process what had happened, leaving the man to check his wallet. He cursed to himself when he noticed that Henry had swiped it.

"Hey. What is this machine? Did I make this?" Schwoz spoke out suddenly, the unknown object making him examine it with a confused face.

"No, my father made that. Long time ago." Ray sounded slightly downhearted at the thought of his father. Their estrangement had left him feeling hurt and abandoned.

"What this do?" Schwoz asked.

"Isn't it the doohickey that was supposed to make you even beefier?" (y/n) squeezed his arm, her small hand barely fitting his rock-solid bicep.

"Yeah, it was supposed to make me stronger, more powerful, you know, manlier." He developed her answer, fully explaining the intended purpose of the machine.

"So it didn't work." Schwoz deadpanned, and (y/n) snorted at his comment. 

"Nice one, Schwoz." She gave him a high-five, the joke was spot on.

"It was never tested on me," Ray said to him in an irritated voice and mussed up (y/n)'s hair as revenge for laughing at him.

"We tested it on my nerdy cousin," Ray explained.

"So, did it make him manly?" Schwoz asked, interested in knowing what went wrong.

"It made him too manly." The tall man said, remembering how his cousin transformed into a macho beast.

"The effects started slowly but... a few days later, he was...less of a man." He grew misty-eyed and mysterious, figuratively leaving his two friends on the edge of their seats.

"Yes?" (y/n) looked at him expectantly.

"More of a beast." He revealed, shocking them at the thought of the savage man.

"Ohhh." Schwoz and (y/n) winced back, Ray nodding at their reactions. They were all oblivious that whilst they were speaking, Henry was turning into a man-beast too. 

~

Charlotte screamed as she came back down in the elevator, tumbling onto the floor as it fell. Stumbling out, she brought the drinks they had ordered ten minutes beforehand.

"Here's your coffee." She handed the soggy cupholder to Ray, who looked down at the smashed cups with a frown.

"Thank you?" He looked at her in confusion, wondering where all the coffee had gone. Charlotte walked off as Ray picked up one of the cups and began to lick the remnants of the coffee off the side.

"The hell are you doing?" (y/n) asked him, taking the cups and their holder from his hands and dumping them onto the couch table.

"So...what are we gonna do with this manly machine?" Schwoz asked his boss, gesturing to the device in question.

"Oh yeah." He and (y/n) looked at it in thought.

"It's obviously majorly dangerous." Her words caught the attention of Charlotte, her face dropping at the mention of the machine that struck Henry.

"We better destroy it. Or I guess we could donate it to a school." He thought, believing that all the puny kids would benefit from being made tough.

"You just love to create problems for yourself, don't you?" (y/n) looked up at him.

"Hey...what do you mean that thing's dangerous?" Charlotte asked them, a sense of dread in her stomach.

"Well, it was designed to make people stronger, more powerful and manlier but it goes too far. Take a look at what it did to my cousin, Elliot." Ray pulled out his remote control and put a picture of his cousin on the monitor.

"Ew." Charlotte wrinkled her face in disgust.

"No, that's the before picture." He told her.

"Oh." She said awkwardly.

"I don't think he looks that bad." (y/n) looked at him and weighed up his features. Whilst he was no Ray Manchester, he wasn't the ugliest man she'd ever seen.

"Here's what Elliot looked like a week after my dad tested this machine on him." Ray wanted her to stop analysing his cousin in terms of attraction, so he changed the screen to a photo of a crazy, hairy-looking man.

"Yah!"

"Sweet cheese!" The two females hugged each other in fright from the picture.

"Yep. He turned into a man-beast." Ray said as the two parted.

"Hey, he looks like my sister." Schwoz stared at Elliot.

"Ha! Your sister wishes!" (y/n) joked, remembering how ugly Schwoz's sister was. 

"She is an animal." Ray joined in and the three adults laughed at their inside joke.

"She smells like a horse!" Schwoz giggled. He had no trouble talking about his sister like that since it was the truth. She smelt really, really bad. 

"She looks like a horse!" (y/n) said, the three of them laughing harder. Ray held his stomach and bent over in a fit of giggles. 

"Guys! You guys!" Charlotte urgently needed their attention.

"What?" 

"Yeah?" The men acknowledged as (y/n) wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes.

"Henry accidentally touched that machine." The joy was instantly gone from their bodies as she spoke the words. 

"He..he turned it on? I told you to watch them." Ray asked Charlotte whilst looking at (y/n).

"I did watch them! I told them not to touch anything when I was in the back!" She insisted to him. She always took her job seriously and would never risk one of the kids getting hurt.

"He didn't mean to. His hand just hit one of those buttons and it went all...bzzz....bzzz." Charlotte explained, not wanting the woman or Henry to get into trouble.

"Uh-oh." Schwoz turned to the pale-faced best friends, as it sunk in that Henry was going to become a man-beast.

"Did you see Henry start to show any signs of..." Ray couldn't think of the right words.

"Exaggerated manliness?" The woman next to him finished.

"I'm--I'm not sure." Charlotte stuttered. She hadn't been concentrating on the boy enough to have noticed any obvious changes.

"Well, where is he?" Ray exclaimed, needing to find his sidekick and fast.

"He's having dinner with the pretty girl at Sotto Voce." (y/n) reminded him.

"Oh, right." He clicked his fingers as he jogged his memory.

"I hear they have good paninis." Schwoz butted in, getting off-topic.

"Oh, shut up, Schwoz. I gotta go get Henry before the symptoms advance too far and they become permanent." Ray snapped at him. There was no time for levity.

"Come with me." He snapped his fingers to the two girls and the three of them ran to the tubes. (y/n) wrapped her arms around Ray so they could share and not have to take multiple trips.

"Bye!" Schwoz waved at them as the tubes came down. He would look after the Man Cave whilst they were saving Henry.

"Up the tube!" Ray called out, his strong arms holding the girl tight.

"Buh-bye!" She wiggled her fingers at the little man and they lifted out of the Man Cave. 

~Sotto Voce~

Henry was stood at the waiting desk of Sotto Voce. The effects of the manly machine had started to become clear as he now had a beard coming through on his face. A man and his wife walked past, accidentally knocking into him, which normal Henry would've just brushed off, but macho Henry wasn't going to take it lying down.

"Oh, excuse me." The man apologised.

"Ohh, no. I will not excuse you." Henry barked at him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you, I was just passing with--" The man said to him in a polite voice, not wanting to cause any trouble.

"What?! You wanna take a swing at me? Come on!" The boy said in a deep voice, raising his fists to the frightened man.

"Let's go, Mark." His wife pulled him away from the weird boy.

"Yeah...go Mark. Enjoy your salad." Henry seethed at him. Chloe walked up behind him, wearing a really cute, colourful dress with a blue purse and grey boots. 

"Hey, Henry." She greeted him with a smile.

"Hey, dude, what's up?" Henry picked her up and replied in his masculine voice.

"Uh, is that...are you growing a beard?" Chloe looked at him in confusion as she felt his face. No other 13-year-old boy in their school had a stubble like Henry's.

"Huh?" Henry touched either side of his face.

"Nah, I think I just need a shave," he smirked at her.

"Wow, when did you start shaving?" The girl asked him, wondering why he had started so early.

"I guess tomorrow morning, ha!" He said in a loud, laddish voice.

"Hey! Let's get us a table! We hungryyyy!!" The man-beast boy shouted across the restaurant, making the manager come across to tell them off.

"Young man, this is Sotto Voce, would you please lower your voice?" The posh man said in a low, silky-smooth accent.

"Yeah, I'll lower my voice." Henry crouched to the floor.

"WE HUNGRYYYY!" He howled, as his date stood there in embarrassment.

"Yeah! We gonna get food!" He shouted, disturbing the other diners as he led Chloe to a table.

~20 minutes later~

"Lasagne for the young lady." The waiter placed the food the two had ordered down on the table.

"Oh my god, it smells so good." Chloe complimented, smiling at the waiter.

"Yeah! Smell that!" Henry leaned over the table and stuck his nose really close to the girl's plate.

"And, um, are you sure you want your steak raw?" The waiter asked Henry, concerned at how unsafe the raw meat would be to eat without cooking it first.

"Yeah, man, just set it down, yeah." Chloe gagged at the raw meat, as Henry chucked the plate back to the server and stuck his fork into it.

"Okay, enjoy." She looked on in disgust at how Henry smelled the meat, then shoved it into her face.

"Oh yeah, smell that!" He brought it back down to his side of the table and began to chew on the meat with his hands. He tore a piece off, much to his date's repulsion. He chewed it like an animal, as Jasper came into the restaurant, clearly upset about something,

"Hey, Henry! Remember this guy?" The curly-haired boy marched over to their table. He was angry that Henry had cancelled on him to go on a date with a girl, and never gave him any notice.

"Bye, Jasper," Henry growled at him, so Jasper remembered what Piper had told him earlier on.

'If I were you, I'd tell Henry that he's rude, and then I'd shove his face down right into his food.' He liked the sound of her advice.

"What are you thinking about?" Henry said, breaking up his daydream.

"Your sister." Okay, that sounded wrong.

"What?" Henry asked in a grossed out manner.

"Now, I'm going to teach you a lesson." Jasper tried to push Henry's head into the steak on the table, but the manly machine had made the blond boy ten times stronger. They both grunted from the effort, but Jasper couldn't move him.

"Are you trying to push his head down?" Chloe asked in a weirded-out voice.

"Yeah, what are you doing?" Henry added, making Jasper stop from exhaustion. He walked over to another table and grabbed some vegetables from Mark's plate. Poor guy was just trying to have a nice dinner with his wife. Jasper threw them at Henry's face, enraging the aggressive boy.

Henry stood up and grabbed the meat lying on the table, slapping it across Jasper's face. The entire restaurant gasped at the harsh noise the steak made as it came into contact with Jasper's cheek.

"You just beef-slapped me." He cried, tears springing to his eyes at what his best friend had just done.

"You want some more?" He threatened, the meat still in his hand.

"Henry!" Chloe protested.

"You're--you're acting weird!" Jasper ran out of the restaurant before Henry could hurt him again. 

"Bye, Jasper!" The girl said sadly, as Henry sat back down with pride.

"Woo! Is it hot in here?" Henry tugged at his collar and unbuttoned his shirt to show off his chest hair to Chloe. The sight of the excessive amount of hair was starting to put her off her lasagna, as Henry leaned back into his chair. 

~Meanwhile~

Ray, Charlotte and (y/n) were sneaking into the restaurant, intent on finding and stopping Henry from becoming a fully-fledged man-beast. They hid behind a wall and looked at the couple on the date.

"Whoa, look at Henry's beard." Charlotte pointed out, seeing how the boy was shovelling lumps of steak into his mouth.

"And is that raw beef? He's gonna get a serious E-coli infection." (y/n) grimaced at the sight.

"I knew it. It's the effects of that device. Henry's changing." Ray said as he hid fully behind the wall.

"Then if we don't do something quickly, in a few more days he could be a full man-boy beast thing!" (y/n) whispered, panic in her voice.

"Why can't we ever have normal problems?" Charlotte complained, and the woman raised an eyebrow at her.

"Normal? He fights crime and I run his base under a store full of junk. We've never been normal." She joked, but Ray shushed her.

"Just, go get Henry. Make up some reason why he's gotta leave with you." He hissed to Charlotte, who looked reluctant to do as he asked.

"What's the problem?" (y/n) saw how she was contemplating the situation.

"I feel bad. Henry really likes Chloe and she's already mad at him." Charlotte explained to two adults, who had bent down to her eye level.

"Why?" Ray asked, wondering what Henry had done.

"Because he keeps flaking on her because he's always busy working for you." The best friends sighed, not aware of how much Henry was sacrificing in his normal life to help them out.

"I think you need to rethink your strategy." The woman spoke in Ray's ear, so he pushed the two females into a secluded corner.

"Okay. All right. I know how to get Henry out of here without Chloe thinking it's his fault." He said as he chewed a gumball.

"What are you gonna do?" Charlotte asked, as (y/n) checked if the coast was clear. Giving Ray a nod, he ducked behind a mesh wall and transformed into Captain Man.

"Wait here." He said to them, as he dashed into the restaurant. (y/n) and Charlotte eyed the mints on the reception desk and gave each other a look.

"Let's take 'em." The woman said as she picked up the box and poured them into the girl's jumper. Sucking on the confectionery, they watched as Ray worked his way awkwardly around the tables. Checking that no one was watching, he used his laser remote to set fire to some bread buns.

"Fire! Quick, everyone, exit the restaurant!" He shouted to the room.

"Captain Man?" Henry was confused to see his boss on his date.

"Wow." Chloe breathed out.

"Sir, you are at Sotto Voce. Please lower your voice." The manager said to the superhero, even though there was an emergency.

"Sorry. Sorry." He whispered in apology and began to tell all the tables to leave.

"Fire, please keep your voices down and exit the restaurant." He repeated as he ran around the room, the final table being Henry's.

"Fire don't scare me." Henry laughed.

"Well, fire do scare me," Chloe said, grabbing her purse and rushing out of the building.

"Thanks for coming." Charlotte and (y/n) were talking to the guests as they ran through reception. 

"Sorry, no mints left." (y/n) smirked at a woman who looked at the empty bowl.

"Appreciate your business." The younger girl hurried her along. 

"Get out." (y/n) said to the last few guests. Ray took out his laser and tried to stun Henry with it. However, his machoism stopped him from going down.

"Nuh-uh, dude. You're gonna have to zap me harder than that." Henry looked at him, shaking off the laser's effects. Ray zapped him again a couple times, Henry grunting and stepping back, but the boy was still on his feet.

"Come on, kid, I'm trying to help you. Just drop." Ray said to him.

"Well, sorry. Three little laser shots can't hurt me." His aggressive words frustrated Ray, so he spammed the laser at Henry, this time making him pass out. Ray caught him before he fell on the floor and lifted him over his shoulder. The waiters watched in fear and uncertainty.

"Ooh, panini." Ray grabbed the food as he walked to the doors.

"Come on, hurry!" (y/n) whispered at him and he jogged over.

"And stop eating that!" She said as he took a bite of the panini. He put Henry's unconscious body in the back of the Man Van with Charlotte.

"Want some?" He offered her the bread as they climbed into the front seats.

"Oh sweet cheese, yes." She smiled as he broke it in half and passed it to her. He knew the way to her heart like the back of his hand.

~The Man Cave~

Henry had entered the next stage of the transformation, and now he was a mindless savage. Schwoz and Ray had had to restrain him in a chair when he lashed out at (y/n) and Charlotte. Currently, the boy was roaring and struggling against the cuffs as the small genius finished his machine that would reverse the effects.

"Let me go!" His voice sounded demonic, making the two females shiver as they tweaked the machine's settings.

"Can we please hurry up and get this done?" Charlotte looked at Schwoz, feeling antsy at how animalistic Henry was becoming.

"It is ready. Pick up the meat-beef." Schwoz pointed to the steak they had prepared, and Henry went crazy at the sight of it once Ray raised in it his fist.

Schwoz released him from the chair and Ray dangled the meat in front of him.

"Throw it in!" (y/n) shouted at the superhero, who did as she said and lobbed it into the machine. Henry dived in after it, letting Ray lock him inside. 

"What happens now?" Charlotte asked.

"What that machine did to Henry, this machine do the opposite," Schwoz explained.

"Turn it on, turn it on, turn it on! He's getting worse!" (y/n) cried, feeling Henry beat against the door. Schwoz pulled a giant lever and pressed the controls. 

"I go speedy," Schwoz told her, as Ray pulled her away from the door and put his body in her place. If Henry broke out, he couldn't risk the boy hurting her.

The machine illuminated once it was activated, and Henry roared and groaned as his body changed. Ray moved the two girls away from the machine and pulled (y/n) behind his back. Slowly, the lights stopped, meaning that the process was over. They looked to Schwoz to see if it worked, but all the little guy could do was shrug. He had no idea if they had been successful. 

"Open!" Schwoz lifted the lever and the three opened the door, letting Henry step out. Only, something must have gone wrong, as now Henry was a girl.

"What happened? I feel so... different." Girl Henry said in a feminine voice and wiggled her hips, much to the horror of the four other people in the room.

"Oh my God, it's Henrietta!" (y/n) exclaimed, and Ray quickly picked up the girl and put her back in the machine. 

"I need to make some adjustments," Schwoz said in an abashed voice. He quickly typed away on the machine's screens and Ray, Charlotte and (y/n) watched on with bated breath.

"Okay, we go again." The genius activated the machine and it lit up again. Smoke poured from the vents and they could hear Henry's groans. As the process came to an end, they tiptoed towards the door. Schwoz gave Ray a grave nod, knowing that they had to see if it had worked.

A figure stepped out of the machine and collapsed into the superhero's arms. His face looked up, and to the man's delight, there was no facial hair, or female features staring back at him.

"Ray?" Henry asked in a hoarse voice.

"Kid!"

"Henry!" They all piled onto Henry in a group hug, so relieved to have him back to normal. Henry laughed and patted them all on the back as he returned the hug.

"What happened to me?" He questioned them after he pulled back.

"Oh, you nearly became a man-beast," Charlotte told him and the boy had a disturbed expression on his face.

"Then Schwoz turned you into a girl." (y/n) added on, making Schwoz run upstairs when Henry looked at him with anger, which quickly turned to dread when he remembered the disastrous date. 

"Oh no! Chloe! I gotta go home and apologise!" Henry cried out, running to the elevator.

"Yeah, I should go too. Rescuing one man-boy beast is way out of my job description and I'm beat." Charlotte groaned, following her friend across the room.

"Bye guys!" The teens waved as the elevator doors slid shut, leaving Ray alone with his best friend.

"Stay safe!" The woman called out to the kids, turning away to the computer once they were gone.

"Hey." Ray started, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Yeah?" (y/n) didn't look away from the screen.

"Sotto Voce is probably open again." He mentioned, shuffling his feet and looking down.

"Yeah, so?" She wasn't picking up on his hints.

"We could get some more paninis." The man poked her shoulder with a cheeky grin, making her turn around.

"After everything that happened tonight?" She raised her eyebrows, but he just smiled.

"Yeah, I'll even buy you an ice cream." Ray offered.

"Okay then. But I want two ice creams." She giggled after thinking for a moment. She stood up and linked her arm in his. They walked to the elevator together, their hearts fluttering in each other's company. 

Looks like Ray got to take her to dinner after all.

[cloned-sheep97]

Cdn albums' vibe (sumarized)

Soy una arveja: I hate furries! Not because i think they're zoophiles... In fact, im a zooph-

Emilio García: I love torturing children!!!! *Pees on the christmas potato puree and everyone thinks is butter*

Canciones del corazón: ugh... I need a kinky femboy that doesn't have a gag reflex </3

Otra navidad en las trincheras: Straight sex, gay sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, oral sex. WE ARE THE SEX NATION

Barranca Abajo: Noooo my crush rejected me,... Its time for me to become emo *17 year old José Barrancas invoques the devil itself but then regrets becoming emo after Ñu fucking dies*

El tren bala: Rated +7 (E, everyone) for suicide, sex, drugs, political lider fucks up and gets drunk, CDN makes a pun between silk and "putting it in" (Tela va a poner ≠ Te la va a poner) grooming, hypnotization, adultery, constipation, mental distress, political corruption and people from puerto rico

Revista ¡¡Ésta!!: LOCAL MAN DISCOVERS THAT EATING DOES NOT INVOLVE FEET!!! *turns out to have the catchiest hook on all music history*

Cortamambo: Rated +18, we have a song internalized xenophobia and racism, wanting a sugar mommy, your boss is fucking the secretary and you know it, body horror relating Siamese twins, a song similar to the book Lolita except...so much worse... Santiago tavella goes on his way to cheat on multiple women, boobs in cover, stupid song about stupid horny seals. YET, we get the +18 mark because we made a song making fun on devoting more your religion than your own menta health. Yay

RARO: I- *sniff* I don't know what to do now!!! *Cries* Help me... *6 am Alarm goes off and instantly whipes out tears* Okay, gotta stop crying, its time to go to work...

Bipolar: I wish i could remove my two ribs so i could give myself a BJ, I'd deserve it for being that awesome sauce

Porfiado: *grabs the soap dispenser that was sitting next to the napkins and begins to start spraying the soap on top of the napkins* hehehehehehhe

Habla tu espejo: im such a little potato <///3. Why does everybody think im a problem? :( i mean.., i am but... I wish i wasnt</3

AZ: okay it turns out this album is not as bad as i remembered.... Although lamina once....*BARF*

Jueves: Oh your grandmother died? How cute... Try to cry about it and you're getting kicked from our sigma male club

Lamina once: Nobody understands me... Why is the world so messed up? </3 People today only look at their phones and argue with pronoun people on twitter...</3 *Paints nails, puts on blue hair dye, uses they/them prns and uses their phone like water (8 times a day)

[blossom-boo]

hiiiiii blossom!!!!!!!! i've never really written any smut before but i've been struck by an idea and i would like maybe some advice from you? more specifically, do you have any advice on how to make the start of a smut scene feel more "natural" (????????????) if that makes any sense??? i feel like everything i'm writing (especially dialogue ugh) is super corny and just kind of. off. like everybody could tell it's written by a mega-virgin lol. ((and feel free to pass this one by if you can't think of anything, there's no pressure!!!!)) 🫶

hi boo!! man this is exciting, giving writing advice, i feel like an achieved author oh my.

i'll admit, i don't have like, a lot, of sexual experience (what weird phrasing... whatever), so i don't think drawing from lived experience is all that important tbh, but it could be useful.

do you remember when you were a small child in school, and they'd tell you that in order to have a wide vocabulary, and a lucrative imagination, you need to read a lot? i think that applies here as well! which is weird to say - here comes blossom, encouraging people to read more porn - but truly, i think that's just it.

i think it doesn't hurt to exercise. and even if you're not fully satisfied with what you end up with, it doesn't hurt to put it out into the world, i believe. having a group of mutuals or friends to ask to read through and give criticism (WAIT TO BE ASKED TO GIVE CRITIQUE ON FANFIC I SWEAR TO SHIT) is extremely helpful, but i think that's a little hard to achieve maybe - a lot of us are anxious to reach out to mutuals or other writers, i know i am (i love you my extremely cool mutuals i'm afraid to talk to). you can dm me if you think it'd help! i'd be more than happy to beta your works or just go through them and tell you what i think (disclaimer though, i can't be trusted with the commenter privilege on google docs, i love to leave stupid puns in the comments).

in general though, i think what matters most is writing for yourself first. write what you think is hot - yes even that one kink you think no one else enjoys (i'm still working on that one myself. lets unlearn shame together). you think the dialogue you write is corny - but have you ever seen dialogue from porn videos? that is something else entirely, i promise you, your dialogue is more than fine.

you're always gonna be more critical of your own work, you've read it and re read it and written it, and you know the though process inside and outside - you know the fucker writing it - so it feels immediatly worse because it feels like an invitation to look at everything you dislike about yourself, but no one else is gonna look at it that way. every single thing on the world wide Web can and does find its niche. so will your work.

don't give up boo! i believe in you 🩷

[aprillikesthings]

oh god oh god

HEY GUESS WHAT I'm down to the last two episodes of She-Ra in my rewatch

On a related note, should you desire to read them all starting from s1ep1 for some godforsaken reason, here's the link. Please be amused at my claims that I would not do this for every episode and my repeated attempts to cut back on how much I copy/paste dialogue and/or explain the entire plot instead of just making jokes and commentary

If, somehow, you are New Here, I've been rewatching all of the 2018 She-Ra, ostensibly for fic-writing reasons as I had forgotten huge quantities of the plot. I have since become deeply obsessed, as one does.

I make a lot of adult jokes, random asides, references to other things, commentary, and a lot of cursing and crying. I love Catradora and I love Catra especially and have a tendency to add a screenshot every time they so much as look at each other. It seems silly to warn for spoilers at this point, but yeah, this is a RE-watch. It's just that I forgot a lot of it because I watched it the first time as it was coming out (pun intended). The shit I did remember is so fucking random tho lol

The last time I tried to do a two-parter in one post the number of times I had to reblog it because tumblr only allows 30 images per post got real stupid, so while I do still assume I will have to reblog multiple times per episode, I'm doing each episode separately.

HERE WE GOOOOO

s5 ep12 Heart (pt 1)

jfc i'm full of adrenaline lol

Also I have a beer, it's a citrus IPA because I live in Portland and it's required by law

(not really I just genuinely like them. that and IPA's that taste like gnawing on a douglas fir. also fruit sours.)

LOL I was so anxious I looked away from this post and consumed most of my beer this is gonna be hilarious

ALSO my goal is to finish these two episodes before the Easter Vigil service tomorrow night at 8pm

Theoretically I should be able to watch two episodes of TV in a day and a half, right? AHAHA

Bow should play Wonderwall

she always looks so soft with her hair down

but also having that thing just floating in front of your chest like that has gotta feel weird

ON A RELATED NOTE I know I made the joke in the last episode about how many people have the failsafe as a tattoo but the PROBLEM is that now I literally LIVE with a tattoo artist whose work I like--I already have two tattoos they've done, here and here, and the temptation is extremely high?? but I don't have any other obvious fandom-related tattoos (unless you count the title of a Björk song) so it feels weird to start with this one???? Like I don't have any LoTR or BBC Sherlock or SU or K/DA tattoos (to list off a bunch of fandoms I was devastatingly obsessed with at the time) so getting one for THIS fandom feels kinda weird. But like, also, if I got it kinda small on one wrist it would look kinda cool and be a nice loud DID U KNOW I'M GAY kinda thing. Gyahhh.

She's struggling to do She-Ra, and I'm sitting here YELLING because IT'S BECAUSE CATRA LEFT and UGH I want to murder Shadow Weaver

(eyyyy I won't have to, ha ha oh god)

Oh she manages to transform anyway. Without making any noise or glowing lights, just pop, She-Ra

awwww but also lol

related aside but like, every culture that figured out bows and arrows invented at least one kind of string instrument. Literally archers just fidgeting with their bows and going "oh this makes a nice sound, what if I put more strings on this thing." So many different places and cultures invented things like a guitar or like a harp or like a violin. But also I want to know who the FUCK figured out the hurdy-gurdy??? oh my god I just looked up the hurdy-gurdy and I'm cracking up because one of the earliest depictions of it is from the 1100's, in the Santiago de Compostela cathedral. A place I have been. Because I did the Camino last year.

oh right plot

I would like to take a moment and be grateful for the people who put together the transcripts on the fandom wiki for saving me typing up long bits of lore-heavy dialogue

She-Ra: "Prime is getting closer every day to figuring out how to access the Heart of Etheria. If he succeeds, he can use it to destroy worlds, galaxies, maybe even the entire universe. The Failsafe is our only chance at stopping him."

"His hold over them grows stronger every day they're chipped. If we don't free them now, we might lose them forever. Prime holds every advantage in this fight. He'll be ready for us. But we have a plan. Entrapta?" Entrapta: "I finally succeeded in cracking Prime's signal pattern. If I get access to his Spire network, I can use it to broadcast a jamming frequency that will disable all of the chips on Etheria, freeing everyone at once!" She-Ra: I need you all to get Entrapta to the Spire and keep Prime's forces distracted while she jams the signal."

"We're going to make sure that Prime can never hurt anyone ever again. We're ending this today. For good."

oh lord so Shadow Weaver is still there, sulking and looking away, and she looks over at her and starts almost losing She-Ra and being Adora again

have I mentioned how much I hate Shadow Weaver >:(

Adora goes outside...and looks around. I know who she's looking for. *sobs into a pillow*

NO. she's LOOKING for her GIRLFRIEND

I made that joke and then Glimmer literally says "Any sign of Catra?" I have to remember that at this point in the story literally everyone knows how in love they both are. Except them. Of course.

Adora: "She's not coming back." ;_;

Adora: I mean you don't have to come with me this could be dangerous Bow: the fuck are you talking about of course we're going

And she turns into She-Ra again, roll intro

Okay so they go to the Crystal Castle thing where Light Hope was

it doesn't look so good

but also that's creepy

anyway they tell the hologram (not Light Hope, the other one) that they're looking for the Heart of Etheria and that they're Friends of Mara. She-Ra gets scanned and then a door opens into a passageway. Bow and Glimmer take her hands and they walk into the hall but:

she's still looking for someone

I have to deal with another episode and change of her looking for Catra ghghggh this hurts meeeee

OH SO OF COURSE they literally switch to showing us Catra

bahaha okay so she sits up and looks behind her kind of sadly, and Melog just skids to a stop so hard they throw Catra off

And Melog looks at Catra like she's fucking nuts. Catra's like, wtf is wrong with you??? and Melog looks back like BITCH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? Catra what did you think was going to happen when you got a therapy animal that can literally read your moods. Melog knows you're being a dumbass and has NO reason to pretend to believe your surface "I don't give a shit" act!!

Melog does airplane ears at that. And then just pounces Catra.

Time for pressure! Just like a real therapy animal. Big weighted blanket!

oh shit I forgot about this bit

Catra just immediately starts crying.

Catra: "You saw what happened! Adora chose Shadow Weaver, okay? Not me!"

*sobs into hands* you useless fucking dumbass that is your abysmally low self-esteem talking literally every living semi-sentient thing in the galaxy knows Adora's in love with you EXCEPT YOU

I can get frustrated with AU fics where these two both pull this "but what if she doesn't like me back" thing for ages while everyone around them is face-palming in frustration, but like. You have to admit. It's accurate to canon.

(It's also accurate to lesbians in general, lbh. Either fucking on the first date or doing the "but what if she's not into me" thing for months-to-years. Sometimes both, including in some of the fics I've written, heyooooo.)

Melog purrs and licks her face. A clone approaches and they both go invisible and then follow it.

MEANWHILE

the rest of the rebellion is attacking Horde Prime's ship thing

Wrong Hordak helps Entrapta get into the spire. The whole point of this fight (which I didn't bother screenshotting lol) is to give Entrapta time to disconnect everyone's chips from Horde Prime.

Lol once inside Entrapta does another one of those "holy shit this stuff looks so cool...OMG FOCUS" things

Back at the Crystal Castle Glimmers like "omg are you scared" and She-Ra says "No, I just hope this works." Liar.

Bow: "It'll be okay. And when we get back, it'll be a whole new world."

this poor girl. she's so heartbroken.

(meanwhile the plot of my fic-in-progress is literally them breaking up. (not forever.) but it's hilarious of me to get SO UPSET over this scene when I'm going to force them to repeat it. like it's a mutual decision in my fic but it doesn't make it hurt any less.)

PFFT I unpaused it, and IMMEDIATELY:

I just said OH SHIT out loud lol

oh god I saw someone talking about this in a youtube video right around when I started my rewatch

It's a hologram, she's not actually there. And Catra goes through multiple other ages, including her kid self, being chipped on Horde Prime's ship, when they were Horde cadets, etc; before going back to looking like she does now.

Adora's sharp little gasp of shock here

Adora goes to touch Catra's hand and the hologram disappears

(good lord she's beautiful here)

And I think I agree with the youtube video: Adora knew she was upset about Catra running off, but this is the moment she specifically realizes she's in love, and it breaks her heart into tiny pieces.

(Hah, I actually say a very similar thing in part of my fic that they mention in the video--that previous to this, she refused to let herself want this or even think about it. "I didn't even realize this was something I could want.")

BUT ALSO so like is this a remnant of Light Hope's programming that tortured them with childhood flashbacks in season one (in order to drive them apart) or what

LOL NO

I know I made this joke before but I'm suing Nate for emotional damages

She-Ra: "We need to be careful. It looks like this place can still project memories."

oof

A still-invisible Catra follows the clone to where Horde Prime's ship is and is visibly terrified and shaking. A clone who might be Hordak turns around with that white in his eyes that means Prime is using him to see, and Catra just tries to be quiet and not move but she's obviously triggered, and I mean that in the literal PTSD sense.

Horde Prime (via Hordak?): "My brothers. The time has come at last. No longer shall She-Ra stand in my way."

oh okay so Horde Prime's actual ship is still in space (just orbiting Etheria I assume) and the planet-side thing is him speaking through one of the clones via the hive mind.

"Begin the acquisition process!"

are they just gonna straight-up drill into it?

apparently yes

the whole area lights up with that sickening green light, including all the lines that characters kept noticing on the ground that looked like some combo of circuit boards and First Ones' writing.

meanwhile, Adora keeps slipping out of being She-Ra for split seconds and is clearly stressing The Fuck Out and possibly walking in the wrong direction in her distress, only to walk into another memory/hologram.

And I've predictably hit the image limit, but 13:30 to go which is better than last night pfft okay gonna reblog

[lediz-watches]

Podcast: Weird Medieval Guys

Another podcast, because it's consumed my brain over the last week.

Weird Medieval Guys started as a Twitter account (go off, Musk), but is now also a bi-weekly podcast starring Olivia (the Twitter creator) and Aran (the historian she bribed with a platform to rant about Constantinople). Every couple of weeks, they gather together on Olivia's living room floor to academically gossip about medieval life, loves, and nonsense.

Because people have always been nonsensical, and that's amazing.

I found it through another podcast that I will one day do a post about (I need to... come to terms with why I love it) called We Can Be Weirdos, in which Olivia came on and caught my attention with her passion for the legal debates people got into about heraldry, and her willingness to admit that medieval people were just as petty and ridiculous as we are now.

Because that's the thing, and which I think this podcast shows so well: people have always just been people.

The world we exist in has evolved. Technology has marched on, our ways of interacting with each other have changed, and we have different values, different things we consider important, but we're still the same, really. We think of the past as this noble and dirty and incorruptible space, but people were making sex jokes and lame puns for a hundred thousand years. We aren't special just because we can blast our lame humour to seven billion people at a time.

But anyway.

Each episode of the podcast takes the form of a loose essay, Aran lecturing Olivia (or occasionally vice versa) on some topic about the medieval period, and don't get me wrong - they are lectures. There are stupid jokes, Aran loves to play different characters, Olivia giggles constantly, and the point of each one is that medieval people were Just Like Us, but Aran is an academic talking about research. Yes, his area of expertise is a later period, but the skills remain.

And to be clear, I am a recovering cultural studies student who until recently has been out of academic life and away from other academics for over a decade. But I suspect this is not a podcast you can walk into without some academic-adjacent background. They discuss articles and a lot of their humour is based in inference and the kind of irony you see in people who debate reality for a living.

But they are also redditors, and Twitter natives, and talk about their subjects as 'based'. Aran loves to call people King and Queen. They bring their subject matter to the now.

The most recent podcast was about medieval Welsh bards, and they read out a rap (flyte) battle between two of them (Olivia's bard totally won, I don't care what you say), and finished on the DIRTIEST poem I have ever heard (seriously, ugh), and it taught me a lot about Wales' history, which I've never really known much about, so thank you for that. But it was great to hear all this poetry and these poets and put them in a context where you can strip back the language and see them for the frustrated, young, often horny, very human people they were. Also I loved the owl poem and must search it out because I grew up next to koala tress and boy, I feel you.

The episode before that was about medieval animals, and while it was fun to hear about hedgehogs and the bestiary, it also contained a beautiful insight into why we use animals as narrative devices. The only downside is that I'm still on the edges of the Hellverse fandom and started analysing furry culture and honestly, no one needs that in their life...

But my FAVOURITE episode so far is part two of their Constantinople episode, where they described the Ottoman leader Mehmed as so... painfully human. Even as his soldiers ransacked a once-glorious city and he chased a mad dream, he was just so lost and passionate and terrible and... Aran described him so beautifully, I was just swept up in the story.

So yes. Although there are a few hiccups along the way (please please please go back and fix the episodes with the overlapping voice tracks it hurt my ears so bad), if you have even a passing interest in history or culture or what makes humans human, check out this podcast.

Because we're just people. We've always just been people. And that's amazing.

[witchofanguish]

The Golem From Prague

NARRATOR: The era: the sixteenth century. The place: Prague. The Jewish community is in grave danger. Gentiles sow discord and spread blood libel. But worry not- the Maharal of Prague labors in his laboratory for a solution that will save the Jewish people.

MAHARAL: Keep praying, Zalman! When Shabbat finally comes, the Creator of the World Himself (CHECK THIS) will raise the Golem from its slumber and bring it to life, and it will protect us from the gentiles!

MAHARAL: The time has arrived! Zalman!

ZALMAN: No, Rebbe!

MAHARAL: Pull the lever!

<Zalman pulls the lever, the Golem rises>

MAHARAL: Hurrah!

ZALMAN: Hurrah!

MAHARAL: Hurrah!

ZALMAN: Movement! (this is a pun on הידד-היזז)

MAHARAL: The Golem lives!

ZALMAN: It lives!

MAHARAL: It lives!

ZALMAN: It lives!

GOLEM: Good morning.

MAHARAL: Good morning! How are you feeling? Slept well?

GOLEM: Fine, I guess... a bit occupied. (not sure about this one at all lol)

MAHARAL: The Holy One, Blessed is He brought you to life so that you could protect us, the chosen people!

GOLEM: Chosen for what?

MAHARAL: For riots, pogroms, (that's two words for pogroms) blood libel, rape, murder... but don't worry. God keeps guard over us.

GOLEM: I'll tell you the truth, it doesn't sound like he loves you that much.

MAHARAL: We're the chosen people.

GOLEM: Chosen for suffering maybe! <laughs>

MAHARAL: Heretic!

ZALMAN: Heretic!

MAHARAL: Heretic!

ZALMAN: Heretic!

MAHARAL: The Golem rises up against its creator!

GOLEM: But I'm not-

MAHARAL: Kill it!

GOLEM: Hold on a sec, daddy- (informal version of dad, not sure if that's the right connotation)

<Zalman smashes Golem over the head with a frying pan>

GOLEM: Ouch.

MAHARAL: Say it strongly! (as one would to a child, I imagine to rebuke?)

<Maharal smashes Golem with a hammer>

GOLEM: Ooh-ah.

<scene change>

MAHARAL: This is it, Zalman! We have a new and improved Golem with fifty percent less intelligence! Pull the lever, Zalman!

ZALMAN: Yes, Rebbe!

<Zalman pulls the lever, Golem rises once more>

ZALMAN: It lives!

MAHARAL: It lives! The Golem lives!

GOLEM: Golem lives.

MAHARAL: Onward, Golem! Go out and protect us from the gentiles!

GOLEM: What are gentiles?

MAHARAL: All those babblers who think God likes them more!

GOLEM: Ah, Golem understands. Only Jews have conclusive evidence that God likes them more, yes?

MAHARAL: Certainly! It's written in the Tanach.

GOLEM: The gentiles don't have the Tanach!

MAHARAL: They... they do have some holy books, but they're very stupid, very very stupid.

GOLEM: Ah. If that's so, Golem thinks that it's impossible to know which book is silly, which book is true, and which book is complete nonsense. (the specific phrase used at the end is 'kishkush balabush.' I'm not sure if that's a childish phrase or not.)

MAHARAL: Ugh! Ugh! Heretic!

ZALMAN: Heretic!

MAHARAL: Heretic!

ZALMAN: Heretic!

MAHARAL: Kill it, Zalman!

<various comedic hitting the Golem over the head etc etc, next scene>

GOLEM: So why is it forbidden to to cook a goat in its mother's milk and permitted to fry schnitzel in its mother's egg?

MAHARAL: OOOOH!

<smashed over the head again>

GOLEM: So when women speak it's not a forbidden sexual act (erva/ערווה) but when they sing it is? (it took me like ten minutes to figure this one out, never got what they were talking about the other hundred times I've watched this because of how obscurely it's phrased and because I forgot this is a specific offense lol)

<smashed>

GOLEM: But if I enjoy it, I didn't let it out in vain.

ZALMAN: ...there's something to that.

<Maharal smashes Zalman over the head, then the Golem a bunch of times. next scene opens with Golem rising without a head>

MAHARAL: No mistake! This is the chosen Golem! One hundred percent muscle, zero percent intelligence. It's only missing one last thing.

ZALMAN: What's missing?

MAHARAL: What's missing?? The kippah, Zalman!

[delicateartisantrash]

aaaaAAAA: Author Struggle Bus

(If you don't want to see my personal posts, my tag for these is "#dat rambles")

Not me pulling at my hair smacking my forehead on the desk because I am well into the next chapters of Gladiators of Kaon; and I am unsure if my representations of the Precious Beans are accurate enough because confession I haven't actually watched all of G1 yet I've seen like 1 episode and a half and then I got distracted writing fanfiction and reading o o p s but the story floooooows

(author ramblings continue after the cut)

and now here I am with many chapters and it's adorable and I love it but also p a n i c because it's my first time writing them. I hope ya'll don't have specific expectations for characters because OPE I SORRY I AM JUST WRITING WHAT I SEE. And reading a lot of wiki pages. (Whoever does the captiosn for images on that site, oh my goodness, they are SO WITTY. I LOVE IT. Sarcasm, puns, sattire, my sides are hurting from how much i've laughed while reading up on transformers i've never actually heard of or met before and researching lore ideas to yoink for the world building of this story's universe and setting)

I have read a stupid amount of wiki pages.

still though

it's like

my favorite chapter rn because ADORABLE SPARKLINGS UGH EEEEEEE and it's so friggin' cute I can't stand it (comfy chair and blanket acquired, one parrot loose and one happily eating noms \o/). I hope it goes over well but if not oh well

writing Soundwave when he's not in Perfect Composure Mode is an entertaining and endearing experience.

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 43: Voltron Frees the Slaves Season 1, Episode 44: Voltron vs. Voltron

Episode 43: Voltron Frees the Slaves Do I recognize this episode name? I think so

Allura - tries to be positive, Hunk - immediately pessimistic Like I fully agree with hunk here don't get me wrong but cmon man enjoy the peace for a bit like Keith said

"Lotor you are my son, may I be forgiven, and some day you will be king, may the evil gods help the planet. I have a special assignment to see if you could prove worthy of the throne" LMAO ZARKON ISN'T EVEN HIDING HIS DISDAIN FOR HIS OWN SON ANYMORE, I LOVE HIM FOR THAT

Idk why zarkon keeps trusting Lotor with destroying Voltron, like dude do you not remember the last 42 episodes lmao

oh I don't recognize this episode, was I wrong? I kind of know the looks of these characters, weird also a girl died in front of her lover by missile strike and ofc that was censored, but it was a funny one because we get no context as to why the guy just starts sobbing

Have other planets been named after Zarkon after being taken over? Why is this one just now being called Zarkonia

DID HAGGARS CAT JUST PUSH A GUY OFF A CLIFF?? WILD

is Voltron a universe wide legend then? I know that's probably obvious by now, but it's still wild to hear, and believable honestly since our cultures share the same stories in the same ways

well these kids are stupid if they think they can take lotor hostage, like itll probably work because its dotu and everything goes in their favor but still

I definitely recognize this episode now, I just don't know the plot like I thought I did

"this is a man's work!" kill die maim I know that was them trying to be brave and then setting up the only girl there to fight them on it to help to show she's strong but ugh

aand immediately the plan gets fucked because haggar's cat spies on them, if one of those kids doesn't die ill be disappointed

even better they're used as hostages, though that's gonna go south for lotor real fast

im sorry no launch sequence for the team? i guess they were saving money this episode at least the team knows it's a trap and is prepared for it

animation error, the little girl's dress is the same blue as her brother's, but it goes back to an off-white when it zooms out

"That mighty robot will be desTROYED" Lotor has no patience for kids confirmed

"Voltron doesn't know the gravity of the situation, but I do!" Lotor stop using good puns to trick people into thinking actually funny, you may be a clown, but you sure aren't the kind that makes people laugh

DID THEY NUKE THE KIDS WHEN THE TEAM CAME BY? THAT IS SUCH A WILD TURN FROM "CHANGING GRAVITY TO SLOW DOWN VOLTRON FOR THE ROBEAST TO GET HIM" they're all alive though fucking somehow because everyone merged into this weird orb thing

nobody remembers a goddamn thing about how it happened

WHY IS PIDGE SUDDENLY THE SMART GUY NOW, WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE HAS A SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION BRING ME BACK FERAL REGULAR SMART PIDGE

sorry hold on, were the kids trapped on a whole different planet? This is why we need context good god now that they're saved the team is going to actually free the real planet

this robeast just looks like a regular mech again, what happened to the monster designs I liked those a lot

was that dodge a jojo reference

voltron has been automatically calibrating their weapon fire this whole time?? I feel like the team should be rusty after that because it's been a while since they became a team

does voltron have a retractable mace as a weapon, what the actual fuck why don't we see these cool weapons more often

oh a classic scene, one strike from each opponent where one gets hurt but one truly loses of course voltron wins because he pulled out blazing sword

the fight scenes this time around for voltron v robeast was actually pretty cool, I was more invested in it than I thought I'd be

these kids wanna be part of the vf huh? Inch resting ideas are coming to me the planet name is Bravura by the by

/episode end

Episode 44: Voltron vs Voltron Now this one I know FOR SURE

i love when episodes open with zarkon complaining, he's such a mood

Haggar's cat is just a full-time nark isn't he

"I provided a glamorous touch by darkening the circles under his eyes!" Haggar turned Voltron emo by giving him black eyeliner

Pidge I know fighting in a giant robot is cool, but I don't think it's good to WANT to fight lotor every time you visit a new planet the implications are implicating

honestly I totally forgot they came to planet Yadyl already, but it's nice to see SOME consistency in the show for once

why is it always children who recognize something is wrong, like I get that nobody would see that the robeast this time is a voltron dupe but why is it only the kid who's like "hmmm why does voltron have an escort with him??"

i think my gif this time around will be of the kid weirdly digging in the sand to leave voltron an early warning LMAO

I know the team is forming voltron to go to yadyl and properly celebrate with them, but it's still wild to see that voltron comes out even when there's no emergency

this other kid KNOWS it should be the governor who's answering the transmission from voltron, did he assume that someone else answered for him or is lotors impression of the guy just THAT good

team - sees people staring at voltron in fear keith: no people- HEY THERE'S AN ARMED ROBOT, THE SOS WAS RIGHT, EYE BEAM AND THEN HE PROCEEDS TO BLOW UP THE ENTIRE TOWN WHEN THERE LITERALLY WERE CIVILIANS how is the team not getting more bad will from some other planets like how hard is it to have a planet go rogue on them for not thinking their actions through

lotor why are you running INTO THE EXPLODING TURRETS I'm on zarkon's side here, you should be dead dude

animation error, dupetrons leg went from blue to yellow after sand blew on it but then went back to blue in the next cut

the chest on dupetron just turned into the drule skull symbol, haggar really did make him goth LMAO

oh man this thing really is getting to voltron, we haven't seen the blazing sword formation get interrupted before

Keith how did you know the signals were getting picked up, i can't just feed into the belief that this man is some tactical genius without some SUBSTANCE

its just some dude in dupetron,, also which they'd say that beforehand so i wouldnt assume it's a robeast and when it's really an overly complicated mech

WHY DO THEY KEEP SAYING RED LION IS HUNK, LANCE PILOTS RED LION ASSHOLES KNOW YOUR GODDAMN BASICS MY GOODNESS also who knew that voltron could detach his arms and then the arms can act as their own units WHILE STILL BEING ABLE TO FORM BLAZING SWORD, insanity

i changed my mind i know what i want to be the cover gif for this episode sidnvois

/episode end

[enbyleighlines]

Leigh plays Tellius prt 11

It's time to push around some priests!

I absolutely adore how Tellius has so many cartoonishly evil villains. Schaeffer especially is so much fun to hate.

Regrettably, I underestimated the boss, and wound up losing Boyd to a crit from his killer bow, so I had to do this map twice. Whoops...

On my second go, I hatched a plan that would allow me to take down Schaeffer without any risk of getting one-shot by a critical hit. I first left an unarmed Soren in Schaeffer's killer bow range, knowing that he's immune to critical hits so long as Ike is adjacent to him. Then on my next turn, I had Ike deal the finishing blow, with Reyson hovering nearby in case I needed someone to make a hasty retreat.

Schaeffer's defeat lines are so funny. You don't get more cartoonishly evil than this.

Here's a visual of what everything looked like. I actually had to use Reyson to give Ike a second turn, because he wasn't able to kill Schaeffer in one round. I also had to put that priest in the lower left corner to sleep at one point, because I accidentally left Boyd in his range with a two-handed weapon.

Now it's time for this scene! I wonder if the writing on the wall actually translates to anything, or if it's just random gibberish that's been copy and pasted.

Do we ever find out just how many siblings Reyson has? Is having a ton of siblings a heron-only thing? Or was Lorazieh and his wife just overambitious? I feel like, with how canonically frail herons are, that childbirth would be difficult for them.

How does one translate a name into a different language?

Ranulf has returned!!!

I think this may be my favorite thing Ranulf has ever said. He is such a fucking charmer. Ugh, my heart.

I snorted at Ranulf calling Soren a "nervous little staff officer". Most people consider Soren moody and detached, but I think this is the first time someone has described him as "nervous". But I think it makes sense if Soren always seems nervous around the laguz.

And now we finally get Ike and Soren's relationship to A rank! Huzzah!

I also got Mist and Boyd to B rank at long last. And it looks like Boyd is the one who started crushing first. Unsurprising, really. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Boyd's love language is dunking on people and being dunked on. It's only natural he would fall in love with Mist, who dunks on Boyd like she's getting paid for it.

Yay! The infamous Aimee and Soren scene! I always wondered about this bit, though. What do you mean, there's only one of these in all the world? Then how does one also exist in Radiant Dawn? Is this a mistranslation?

Next was the bridge map! I could have looked up a map about which squares to avoid, but I was too lazy to do that, and instead relied on my memory. Which turns out was a bad idea, because I still fell into a bunch of holes! Even so, I didn't have any problems with this map.

Lucia! Behold, a true bicon.

I had to get Petrine and Soren's dialogue. I am a little sad we never get to learn more about Petrine being Branded. How does she feel about it? Has she experienced discrimination before? Surely her experiences have influenced her fanatic hatred of the laguz. And perhaps her overconfident personality is her overcompensating for a secret self-loathing? Idk, I think it would be interesting if they explored that.

I decided to give the killing blow to Boyd, as a bit of an apology, both for letting him die to Schaeffer, but also for putting provoke on him so he would take all the hits from the ballistae.

Ike and Ranulf's C-rank conversation was immediately available after this map, so yay! And man, maybe it's just my shipper goggles blinding me from the obvious, but um, how else am I supposed to interpret this line other than Ranulf hitting on Ike?

Ike being so unbelievably tickled by Ranulf's stupid puns gives me so much life.

And that's part 11! We are getting into the endgame, and I'm starting to get nervous. Will I defeat the Black Knight? If I don't, does it count as letting Nasir die? Does that go against my "no deaths" rule?

Ahhhhh, let's hope all goes well.