#// painful but nice

[just-spacetrash]

the 'what if you played it a little risky' post literally Changed my life but i cant fujkign find it in my blog because its. a tiktok screenshot

[o0kawaii0o]

no mercy 😭

[greykolla-art]

This is such a fun art style to work with!😂

I’ve always liked the friendship between Asterix and Getafix.

Always chilling on the sidelines together while everyone else fight.😜

[inkskinned]

you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

[youngchronicpain]

hi hello if you play video games as a way to distract yourself from your chronic pain please know that I understand and that even though to others it may just look like "wasting time" giving your brain a solid distraction from pain is a very necessary thing sometimes! my partner and I play stardew valley in the evenings and it is so nice to disconnect from my body and focus on the game. if that is the best way you have found to rest while also being distracted, then that is great! I am glad you have something that works for you. please don't feel bad about that.

[barghest-land]

drawings from paleo expedition to dagestan, done right on the trip. sometimes messy when it was cold and rainy, but i won't correct it. i think it's cool to leave it just the way it was done, and not retouch it after. there will be more drawings later, but those will be done from home

[mioakem]

i’m sorry but if you’re a grown man and a sixteen year old felt the need to remind himself daily not to piss you off because it’s not worth it than ur a complete freak cause that’s not fucking normal

[densewentz]

a quick silly sketch based off my earlier post about the Cat King having a mistaken identity crisis when Edwin and Co. don't recognize him in his new cat form post-esther

[astronnova]

doodles (as i avoid work) of the super awesome you wouldn't like me alive fic by @ectoplasmranch which i binge read in a 7 hour sitting yesterday

[eclypseaf]

day one of @jonmartinweek!

season 1 martin keeps getting distracted-

I decided to do something different with the lineart this time, dunno if I'm gonna keep it but it's nice :)

[ainsi-soit-il]

The thing about being religious is you'll talk about your beliefs and/or experiences with non-religious people, and they'll sort of pat you on the head and say, "Yes, what a nice little idea, I'm glad that you have your beliefs to comfort you!" and every time you have to bite your tongue because your religion isn't just a "nice little idea" to you, it's a cosmic truth that underlies all things, and furthermore, although God Himself has comforted you, that doesn't mean that faith itself is comfortable, but if you put any of that into words, they'll look at you funny.

[remxedmoon]

go my beebos

a second timeloop has hit the marshall. hi this game has completely taken over my brain. i will never be the same person again. go play detective beebo i am begging you. it is a 5 hour game. we still haven’t gotten every ending after 15 hours. i’m really normal about detective beebo you have to believe me.

[zipper-vhs]

remembering that all my old art exists but jeez i cooked with this one

[koszmarnybudyn]

They have old people hobbies.

[vebokki]

do you ever wonder how often binghe created a dreamscape to see sqq when he was in the abyss? and how often he was abruptly waken up by hunger, wounds, or terrifying sounds and had to start all over again?

[l-0puko]

and my heart of metal has just skipped a beat