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beefrobeefcal · 7 months ago

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an Ezra & Cricket One Shot: Brass Knuckled Debauchee Summary: Ezra, after abusing your healing talents, returns to make good on his debt... for a price.

Pairing: Ezra x F!Reader | Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI) | Word Count: 4,752

Content Warning: Smutty smutty smut smut, fingering (f receiving), weight gain, eating, edging, soft!dom Ezra being an overall ass, teasing, begging, crying, malfunctioning prosthetic limb, the occasional swear

Author's Notes: requested by two (count'em - 2!) lovely babes for the 900 Friendo Celebration - thank you to @xdaddysprincessxx and @morallyinept for bringing Ezra some love.

Huge thank you to @strang3lov3 , @noxturnalpascal & @bitchesuntitled for their beta badass skills and to my ever lovely beta fish, @neverwheremoonchild. None of you will understand the depths of gratitude I hold you all in.

No more tag lists - follow @beefnotes + turn on notifications for fic updates!

You’d cared for him when his appendage was newly parted from his person, after a young woman dumped him off at your meagre midwife’s centre.

You hadn’t delivered a baby in at least eight cycles, but you were busy tending to broken bones and crushed limbs from the mine nearby, so the idea of caring for a wound caused by a missing arm wasn’t far from your everyday.

What was far from the standard men in your care was that this one wouldn’t shut up. Truly. You’d never met someone so close to death spew such a narrative. You almost wished to have him out of his misery just to stop his linguistic vomit.

Thank Kevva for sedatives.

You didn’t even want to know his name, worried that if you had his, he’d need yours and there was no way someone this sick and wounded that could carry on like he’s memorized a thesaurus wasn’t capable of performing a hex or a curse on you.

After three blessedly quiet and devoid-of-narration days, the open wound where his arm once hung from was no longer festering and the fever that wracked his body broke. Despite your own desire to keep him silent, you stopped administering such a high dose of the sedative, and you allowed him to regain consciousness.

For the first little while, all you heard was his steady, deep breathing, so you left the room to grab some water and liquified sustenance for him, figuring that when he would finally come to, he’d be hungry.

“To what do… do I owe the pleasure?”, you heard croaked as you walked softly back into the room.

“Oh good…”, you replied flatly. “You’re awake and talking.”

The remainder of his stay that time had revolved around you doing what you could to keep his mouth occupied enough to keep it quiet; you fed him. By the time he’d left, he’d made you aware of his name – Ezra – and bestowed a nickname on you for lack of giving your own. Cricket. He then made the terrible promise to return to see you and left with a wink and a smile.

Your whole body bristled at the thought of having to deal with him again.

*****

The first return visit he made, his confidence and vocabulary were still obnoxiously inflated. Whining of a bruised rib, you resumed your frustrated feeding to keep him down to two to three sentences and responses between mouthfuls.

The second time he returned, he stated that he had been ‘brutalized by a deviant, one who you should not even be told of his true form else your fragile and virtuous mind be stained’. There wasn’t a single mark on him, save for a bite on his only arm that looked to be self-inflicted. He enjoyed himself, smiling between bites of food.

By the third visit – complaining of a sprained toe - you knew that he knew that you knew what you were doing - and vice versa. Despite this, you fed him, and he ate very well. After several days of ‘healing’, he hauled himself up and it was then that you noted his flight suit looking like it was getting tighter around his middle.

Those visits happened in a fairly rapid succession, but a longer period – more than six cycles at least - lapsed before he darkened your doorway and approached your desk once again. Without even looking up, you knew it was him, having heard his cavalier long-form salutations being crooned out at anyone he passed approaching your unit.

“What now?”, you sighed in irritation, dropping your head into your hand, not bothering to look up at him – something you would come to regret to save yourself future embarrassment. You didn’t see him close your door and lock it behind him.

He approached your desk, and his hand came into view along with a mechanical one; the smooth-as-silk tongued devil was now outfitted with a prosthetic arm that looked like it had been stolen from a brass skeleton and had gears added. Your eyes followed the mechanical limb up to the hem of his shortened sleeve, hiding the joint between it and what remained of his actual arm. The new colour of his clothing caught your attention, too, pulling your eyes to his torso. Yes, it was definitely a different colour. He was no longer in the moss greens and soil browns you’d associated with him. Now, he was in a dark blue flight suit with a gold zipper that looked to just be barely holding together.

Your brain paused to take in what was in front of you.

“No more chirps for me, sweet Cricket?”

His raspy, southern drawl sounded sweeter than you’d noticed before as your eyes took in the added weight on his middle. Before looking up to his face, you noted the way the zipper rippled from the strain and the clear indent his belly button made as the fabric pulled taut across his expanse.

His face. As soon as you took it in, you regretted not doing it first. He’s held you in his big brown eyes’ gaze before, but you’d been able to avoid being trapped. But this time you couldn’t help but let them absorb you. His smile widened as he slightly leaned forward, arms putting further weight on your desk.

“You seem at a loss for word, Crick-“

“You’ve been eating well.”, you managed to croak out in a somewhat aloof-sounding voice, nodding towards his middle.

He didn’t shrink back at your comment; instead, it seemed to embolden him. “You started me on a path of decadence that a mere man such as myself isn’t able to easily shake.”

He stood to his full height, eyes never leaving yours. “Is that all you noticed?”, he grinned, lifting his brass appendage, bringing the crude and simple brass hand to his face, smoothing over his moustache.

Your lips parted then closed and parted again before you were able to spit out, “I saw y-… I see you got a new… limb.”

His eyes gleamed at you, seeing his every move had you further in his grasp. You inwardly scowled, chiding yourself on how quickly you were falling under his spell. Narrowing your eyes, you shrugged at him.

“Looks old.”

If it stung him, he didn’t show it; he simply kept that smile on his face and continued to look down at you from across the desk. “I’m not its first owner.”

The pleasantries had only lasted a few more moments before Ezra moved around your desk and hovered over you.

“I’m here to return the favour, Cricket.”

“...Favour?”

“For all the hard work you put into bringing me back to my full health.”, he cooed lowly as his brass hand cooled your cheek with its feather-light touch.

“It’s nothing... I was just doing my j - “

He leaned over you further, cheshire grin pulled menacingly across his face. His voice slipped into a lower pitch and his eyes darted from your eyes to your mouth.

“Doing your job would have been to send me away when I appeared with erroneous and fabricated injuries and illnesses. You, my sweet Cricket, stepped over and above the threshold of your employment and I intend to repay you for your sweetness in full.”

You sucked in a few shallow breaths and nervously swallowed. This was a side of him you hadn't seen, assuming that he was a submissive and pliant brat who’d chosen you to dote on him. But no. There was no favour he intended to pay back. He was just sizing you up and wrangling you into his web, and now he was out loud declaring that you were his prey. His eyes were dark and fixed on you, in contrast with the gentle smile on his face.

“Don’t be nervous, sweet Cricket. You can tend to your own wounds afterwards. Now, let me hear you chirp.”

His brass arm shot out and gripped your wrist tightly and he pulled you from your seat. Dragging you to the maternity room, he tossed you onto the low soft bed.

“Ezra!”, you squeaked as your body hit the push mattress below you.

He dropped to his knees and crawled up, forcing your legs apart, and his belly barely grazed your middle as his face lined up with yours. You let out an involuntary whimper.

“Oh, sweet Cricket. How badly I wanted you on your back, making those sweet vocalizations your namesake promised me.”

His flesh and bone hand gently grazed your face and moved to the back of your head, softly fisting your hair, forcing your head to stay still as he traced his nose along the contours of your face. His eyes remained half lidded and he watched as your own rolled back when he pushed his knee into the crux of your thighs, knowing he had all but your verbal consent.

“This is all you need, sweet Cricket? Someone to light the way?”

All you can muster as his hold on your hair tightened and his knee applied more pressure was a light whine through your parted lips.

You wanted to respond, but the moment you opened your mouth, Ezra’s brass arm made a clunk sound and began to shudder.

“Oh, for Kevva’s sake.”, he muttered, sitting up on his knees as he examined the arm. It made a mechanical sound before it shuddered again, then a higher pitched noise droned as the arm vibrated.

You watched him sitting between your parted legs as the realization of what he had at his disposal dawned on him. Your eyes widened as he turned and looked at you like a starved man with a wild grin.

“Sweet Cricket, I think I could go for a bite to eat.”

*****

Once you’d gotten some finger foods together and brought them back into the room, you found Ezra laid back in a mountain of pillows on the bed. He nodded his head towards you and raised his hand, beckoning you to him.

“Come on, Cricket. Tend to your weary traveller.”

His eyes were glued to you, cascading up and down your form, as you hand fed him. He’d had a few pieces of the savoury pastries when you felt the cool touch of his brass hand slide between your thighs.

“Curious...”, he mused as he chewed. “… that when I make a certain motion with my appendage, it malfunctions in such an amusing manner that I know you will find benefit in, pet.”

Your brows furrow in question and before you can ask how that could benefit you in any way, the arm made that clunk sound again. You felt the vibration between your thighs and your eyes widened.

“Ez – oh fuck!”, you gasped as he pushed his knuckle up against your mound and held it there firmly.

Your mouth was open, allowing shallow panting breaths to puff out and your eyes were closed with your brows pinched as the shuddering vibrations pulsed against you. You’d never felt anything like this before in your life and you thanked Kevva.

The low amber tones of his voice cut through to you and pulled you out of your silent prayer. “Now, sweet Cricket. We are both here to derive enjoyment from one another given we both now have the intel on each other’s vices. You can’t go holding out on me to seek your fruition – that is not fair.”

He pulled his hand from contacting your core, and your eyes snapped to his, a pleading whimper bubbling out from your pouting lips.

“Uh-uh, Cricket. We will play fair.”, he growled in warning. His smile dropped as his features darkened, and he nodded towards your suspended hand holding a small meat-filled pastry. “Don’t you dare hold out on me.”

Shakily, you brought the morsel to his mouth and as he took it in and let his tongue touch your finger, his hand once again pressed against your core.

*****

Ezra had continued to eat and finished over half of platter. But every time you started to get close to your peak, he would pull his hand away, leaving you a shaking mess.

“P-please… Ezra, please!”, you begged mere seconds away from ecstasy.

“I am not finished, sweet Cricket.”, he said with a mouthful. “You will be sated when I have found my fill, and we are not yet there.”

You could have screamed at him, strangled him in a rage. “Ezra please! I - ”.

The warning look he gave you stopped any further pleading. Your mind reeled, trying to find some way to get relief. You could kick him out and try to finish yourself off with your fingers, but you knew it would be fruitless; you’d never gotten this worked up on your own before and you doubt that you had anything in this clinic that vibrated at that frequency.

As you trembled and panted, Ezra watched, amused at how clearly you were seeking a solution to the problem he’d created for you.

“Cricket…”, he cooed, soothing his biological hand up your arm and to your face. He gently guided your chin towards him. “Sweet Cricket, come back to me.”

When your frantic gaze met his, his eyes softened and creased as he smiled. “I will not leave you unfinished. I repay my debts, darling nurse.”

You sighed in defeat, nodded, and took a deep breath. Your eyes trailed down to his noticeably rounder middle that made the already strained zipper pull at the seams of the fabric. He shifted in what looked like discomfort.

You put down the current half-filled plate of food and reached for the zipper tag, tugging it down. It only got to the beginning of the swell of his belly before you met resistance. You tugged a little harder, but it wouldn’t budge.

“Suck it in.”

“Now, Cricket, let’s not be hast-“

“I said suck it in.”, you snapped back far more forcefully than intended.

Ezra froze then nodded. “Sweet girl, I will try, but…” You saw his middle pull in slightly. “… the profound conundrum I experienced in getting it on…”

The zipper finally moved, and he groaned as his stomach expanded. “Sweet Kevva… such relief.”

You were desperate for him to touch you again, but seeing him fat and swollen before you, knowing it was your work that was filling him out. Ezra watched your gaze turn hungry and almost feral. Granted, he felt that way as he watched you teeter on the edge of falling apart over and over. He wasn’t ready to let the power he held over you go, giving him the drive to get through, bite by bite. But that power began to slip the moment his vulnerable and considerably rounder middle exposed, and it left him feeling uneasy and unsure.

“A change of flavour… is needed, my sweet Cricket.”, Ezra crooned, trying to exude as much confidence he could muster, despite his self-consciousness lingering in the back of his mind. He swallowed down a moan as your blown-pupiled eyes met his. He pushed a faux-confident smile and spoke softer. “Something sweeter, perhaps?”

Letting a small huff escape, you nodded and got up from the bed, cursing him under your breath for having this much power over you.

As you stood in the small kitchen area, waiting for the food rehydrator to loudly prepare the freeze-dried baked goods, you didn’t hear Ezra huff and grunt as he got off the bed and saunter into the kitchen. You weren’t alerted to his presence until his belly hit your back and his brass hand went to your hip.

His nose and mouth pressed against the back of your neck, whispering filth as his hand cupped your breast and squeezed.

“You leave yourself so vulnerable, sweet Cricket... back to the door, not an ounce of concern…. any rapscallion of low morals could take advantage… of your sweet, supple figure…”

You let out a light, breathy whine gripping his hand as he kneaded your breast. As much as you wanted his hands on you, you wanted his mouth on your own more, so you pushed your body back against his, making enough room between him and the counter for you to turn around. His brass hand stayed on the curve of your waist, not offering any resistance, and his other hand cupped your cheek, holding it in place while he kissed you softly. His lips moved against yours like he was able to read your mind, or maybe even needed this point of contact as badly as you did. His mouth parted and his tongue pushed for entrance into your mouth, and once it was granted, the kiss fevered and boiled over. You felt your core throb with need and want, soaking your pants and already ruined underwear, and he crowded you against the counter. So wrapped up were you in his mouth and teeth and tongue, that you didn’t feel his brass hand move from your waist.

In one swift move, Ezra shoved your pants down in the front enough for his brass hand to slip with no barrier into your folds. The cool touch you would have expected from it was long forgotten as the metal now met your body temperature. Still engulfed in the kiss that was beginning to rob your breath, the telltale clunk barely registered in your mind until the vibrations started. Sending a jolt through your body, you pulled your face away from his and let out a shrill gasp.

The timer on the rehydrator went off, and Ezra chuckled darkly, watching your brows draw together and your eyes flutter.

“The rules stay the same, Cricket. Sweet or savoury, I will have my fill and you will have your petite mort. But one will meet the other at the same time.”, he said in a wickedly soft tenor. “Now, you can begin holding up your end, sweet girl.”

Once again, Ezra ripped away any power you might have had or believed you had, edging you with each bite, withholding his metal hand’s vibrations from the moment his mouth was empty to the moment your hand shakily pushed another bite past his lips. Overstimulation mixed with the pent-up fury of being denied an orgasm had you panting rapidly, tears threatening to spill over. High pitched whines and shuddering whimpers were all you could produce, and it was music to Ezra’s ears.

“You… create the most… glorious cricket song…”, he mused softly as he chewed the mouthful. “Keep chirping, sweet girl…”

You were coming to a point where you weren’t sure you would make it. Your brain felt like it was filled with the static from a communicator’s blank channel and your hearing and sight felt fuzzy. The coil tightening in your cunt was hitting a painful level, causing you to drop the next pastry you’d picked up with your shaking hands.

As soon as it hit the floor, Ezra tsk’d you, and pulled his hand right out of your pants. The pained sob that burst from you from the loss of contact was loud and harsh, and the tears finally spilled over, staining your cheeks.

“P-please… I… I can’t!”, you cried out, jutting your hand out clumsily to grab his wrist as he pulled back. His dark eyes scanned your desperate ones, pausing momentarily, before his gaze shifted to one of pity and amusement.

“You can’t what?”, he mocked with a cruel grin. “Can’t what, sweet Cricket?”

A rasped and pained whine peeled out of your throat as your head fell to his shoulder, and his hand gripped your hair and pulled back, forcing you to look at him. You looked ruined. Your cheeks flushed and eyes wet and lidded, your lips parted, turned down and chin quivering. He shoved up back and up onto the counter.

“Oh, come now, sweet Cricket. Don’t look at me like I won’t give you your due.”, he whispered, ghosting his mouth over yours. His brass fingers traced lurid shapes along your inner thighs, causing your body to shiver and that coil painfully wind up in your core once more.

“I asked you for something sweeter, pet,”, Ezra mockingly cooed as he pulled back, your face involuntarily following his to try and capture his lips against yours. He shook his head, smile tugging at one side of his mouth. “Something sweeter and you dropped it on the floor. It’s precious currency, Cricket, and you mishandled it.”

Your eyes followed his, stuck in the trance he’d put you under. He could have told you to do anything, given any order and you would have obeyed to your detriment. His brass hand moved to your throat, long, metal fingers grasping just tight enough to keep you precariously seated on the edge of the counter. His thicker middle forced you legs open wide, and his other hand took its place between your legs and without warning, he shoved two fingers into your core.

Your mouth and eyes widened as a wrecked gasp escaped you and your hands went to grab onto what ever meaty part of him you could grab for stability. Ezra hummed in response as the pads of his fingers felt the walls of your cannel twitch and flutter at his intrusion.

“Good Kevva, sweet girl…”, he groaned, watching your face contort. “As much as this contraption of a limb can bring me such sadistic joy at your expense, my own digits needed to feel the silken walls of your inner sanctum.”

As he pumped his fingers in and out of you, he dropped his forehead against yours and hummed again, answering your repeated whining pants and moans.

“Keep chirping, Cricket… sing me your evening song… that’s it….”

As you felt your peak come careening in, he felt your walls convulse and slicken up. The soft tenor he’s just lulled you into a steady rhythm with fell away and the low chuckle followed by his fingers being removed made you scream out and dig your nails into the fattened flesh of his upper arm and shoulder.

“EZ-EZRA! PLEASE! FUCK-PLEASE!”, you sobbed out in a shriek.

His brass hand’s hold tightened around your throat, and he shoved your shoulders flush with the wall behind counter roughly.

Your desperate eyes looked him over as best as you could, given the position he had you in. His bloated and full stomach moved with each laboured breath he took and the strain he put himself under to wreck you was fully apparent. You could feel the outline of his clothed hard cock seated against your thigh and the sweat beading on his forehead. He wiped his face and parted his lips to take in deeper breaths; his irises were indiscernible from his pupils as he looked down at you.

You had never known need like this, and you felt as though you were going to succumb due to your lack of orgasm as a final line in the life that Kevva had written for you.

“P…please…”

“Is it my cock you want to be impaled on, pet? You want to whine and mewl while I rut my quiver bone into your sopping celestial cavern?”, he coolly growled, but there was a slight waiver in his voice. You saw the same desperation in the dark abyss of his eyes.

You nodded dumbly and he scowled, baring his teeth, and tore his brass hand off you, trying to make quick work of getting his flight suit off his shoulders. The arms were tight around his fleshy arms, and you shakily sat up and tried to help. Once his arms were free, you tugged the material over his waist, taking note of the roll of flesh sitting just above his waistband, showing just how much he had been indulging. You gave it a squeeze, revelling in the sound he made, sucking his breath thru his teeth at your fingers.

“Marvel the fruits of your labour, Cricket… The destination you set me on course to has made me beyond redemption and unfit for galactic adventuring…”, he grunted breathily, shoving his flight suit off his legs before kicking it off entirely. “You have effectively rendered me useless beyond what effect I am able to wield on you.”

He shoved his mouth against yours before you could respond or ask what he meant, sucking you into a bruising kiss. His hands gripped your hips, pulling your twitching cunt flush with his weeping, hard cock, knocking the plastic plate that held the desserts onto the floor at his feet. Fumbling slightly, he pulled back and gripped his member, before lining it up with your entrance and pushing it in all at once. The sting of his intrusion melded perfectly with the relief of finally connecting, and the sound you made caused Ezra to almost break. His eyes softened and his brows tented, body tense at the gentle yet firm, warm hold you had on him.

“I’m af-afraid I’ve pushed too far to allow for… for niceties and gentle welcomes, sweet Cricket…”, he panted against your face, teeth clenched as he tried to focus and draw this out as long as possible.

“Please move...”, you begged in a strained whine.

“If I move to fast, sweet Cricket, I will... end this fortuitous connection with an... an early release, and that would render me- fuck!... render me less than a gentleman...”

“You’re no gentleman... now shut up an-and fuck me!”

It seemed that your tight walls and frantic begging were too much for Ezra, and he pulled out with a grunt, followed by a whine as he came onto the plate on the floor. The vulgar sounds of his panting breaths mixed with the sploot of his spend had you seeing red.

“You asshole!”, you screeched, shoving him off you.

He panted and held his hands up in surrender as you charged at him.

“Cricket... forgive me! You’re too sweet... your sacred cavern was too - “

The slap you landed across his face stopped his fancy wordplay. “You fucking bastard!”

Ezra’s eyes flashed in anger, and he stood to his full height, towering over you.

“That was uncalled for, Cricket.”, he snarled. “I will take the wrath of meeting an end without you by my side, but I will not allow you to besmirch my good mother with a question of my paternal lineage.”

You stared at him, eyes wide with anger at his audacity, and before you could say another word, he tackled you to the floor. You tried to fight him off but the moment you heard the clunk of his brass arm and felt two metal fingers punch up into your slick heat, you ceased your struggle.

“See, sweet Cricket? I may be a wayward traveler, but even I know the dangers of leaving a woman on the precipice of completion... “

“Don’t stop... please... don’t stop...”

The vibrations of his arm and the smooth curves of the worn metal fingers found a rhythm that had you seeing stars.

“I plan to keep demanding your company each time I move through this sector, and-”

“Oh Kevva... Ez-Ezra!”

He leaned forward and ghosted his mouth over yours, speaking in a low, husky growl, “... if I were to fail you now, what kind of welcome would I receive the next time I darken your doorway?”

Your eyes rolled into the back of your skull and your body arched off the floor. Pent up energy burst from your burning cunt, sending wave after wave of precious release through your body. The scream that peeled out of you was dampened by Ezra kissing you forcefully.

His movement slowed and he slowly pulled his brass hand from your core. You were greeted with his grin as he looked over his brass hand.

“You’ve polished only two fingers for me... there are three more.”, he cooed, placing a delicate kiss on the end of your nose. “Next time.”

“N-next time?”

He nodded and stood up with a grunt. You sat up carefully, and it seemed you both took note of the plate on the floor, covered in his cum. The chastisement was on your tongue, but never became words out loud as you were struck speechless as you watched him pick up the plate and fling it out the window.

He turned back to you, standing naked in the kitchen, fat and sweaty, with a grin on his face.

“There is always a next time, Cricket.”

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #ezra prospect #fat ezra #chubby!ezra #chubby ezra rights !!!#🥩#900 friendo celebration #900 milestone #900 followers #pedro pascal tummy #you ask beefro answers #thot tank #you asked beefro answered

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starrynini05 · 10 months ago

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help, I need somebody – ahn yujin x kim gaeul x 7th member!reader

Summary: your leader and your eldest would always be by your side, it’s never to late to ask for help

warnings: mentions of sickness, anxiety, vomiting, fever

tags: idol!au ; reader is '05 liner ; 7th member!reader ; platonic!gaeul x reader ; platonic!yunjin x reader

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort, sickfic

word count: 1.3k

a/n: WE ARE SOO BACK‼️‼️, I’m sorry for disappearing, but I’m officially a high school graduate and have time to write again, I hope you like this and expect more regular updates 🫶🏻

Your dynamic in the group was very simple, being, a year and a half older than Leeseo you were in between the youngest and the adults. Apart from you and Leeseo everyone was a legal adult, being more than 19 and already out of school.

You were in the rare middle between not being quite an adult, but not a minor either. With only 17 years of age you still were required to leave events early and go to school, while also being expected to have enough responsibility to fulfill your duties as an idol.

Although you were the second youngest, you were not as nearly as coddled as the maknae and you knew it was mostly your fault. You were added to the lineup really close to debut, being a transfer trainee from SM. This made you reserved and somewhat scared of your teammates, mainly because you were really nervous around new people, and shy in general.

And, even if you longed for that care, you were too shy to willingly ask for it. Now, in your dimly lit room, you lay awake tangled in the sheets, shaking. Your members fast asleep in their respective rooms, blissfully unaware of the turmoil brewing within you.

Earlier that week, yours and Leeseo’s school had canceled classes due to a virus going around. Both of you were thankful that neither of you had caught it, but now you weren't so sure. During practice, you felt more tired than usual and a dull ache had installed in your body, but you gave it no thought.

Now curled up in your bed, trembling and with what you were sure was a high fever, you regretted not saying anything earlier. Nonetheless, refusing to wake the others, you convinced yourself that you could sleep it off and wake up the next morning feeling better.

You had worked so hard to create a perfect facade, you were too embarrassed to let it falter. But, as time went on you only felt worse, transforming it into a relentless torment. Beads of sweat clung to your forehead as you debated whether to wake Yujin and Gaeul. Your heart thumped like a drum, the anxiety of disturbing their slumber almost as unbearable as the pain.

Finally, with a surge of determination, you mustered the courage to knock lightly on their shared room door. Inside the room, both Yujin and Gaeul woke up confused as to why someone was bothering them at 2 a.m. Confusion turned into worry, and Yujin hurried to the door with concern. She was surprised to see you standing there, your usual calm demeanor replaced by an ashen hue of unease.

You cleared your throat, adjusting your posture so you wouldn’t look as fragile as you felt in front of her, at least. You hated looking fragile in front of anyone, let alone them. They were your elders and you didn’t want them to think of you as someone fragile or weak. Sensing your hesitance she broke the silence first “Is everything okay?" she asked, the concern in her voice genuine.

Even then you wanted to resist but she was looking at you with such caring eyes, and you just felt so tired. You sighed in defeat, not quite looking at her face, your voice barely audible as you responded, "I... I'm not feeling well." Yujin's eyes widened, her concern replacing any hint of amusement she might have felt at your shyness. "What's wrong?" she asked while motioning for you to enter the room and lay in her bed.

Your voice trembled with pain while you explained your symptoms, failing to see the frown on her face at your sudden drowsiness. With a tired groan, she helped you lay on the bed, placing her hand against your forehead. As she was about to comment on your high fever you suddenly jolted, a sudden wave of nausea dawning over you. You barely had time to run into a nearby trash can before you were violently sick. Gaeul, who was almost falling asleep, was now wide awake, hearing your retching sounds. She quickly got up and ran to your side, holding your hair back and rubbing your back soothingly. "Hey, hey, it's okay. You're going to be fine. Just breathe, alright?" she whispered, trying to calm you down.

Your face was flushed, your body trembling as you leaned over the bin. You felt tears sting your eyes as you emptied your stomach, feeling miserable and weak. You hated being sick, especially in front of them. You didn't want to bother them or make them worry about you. You wanted to be strong and independent, like they were. But right now, you couldn't help but feel grateful for their presence and support.

When you finally stopped throwing up, you leaned back against the bed, feeling exhausted and dizzy. Yujin handed you a glass of water and a wet towel, helping you clean your mouth and face. "How long have you been feeling like this?" she asked, her voice gentle but stern. You hesitated, not wanting to admit the truth. "Um... around 1 hour ago, I guess." you lied, hoping they wouldn't notice.

They did. Yujin and Gaeul exchanged a look of disbelief and disappointment. "An hour ago?" Yujin repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Are you sure? Because we saw you looking pale and tired during practice, and you barely ate anything at dinner. And you didn't say anything to us. Why didn't you tell us you were sick?"

You felt a surge of guilt and shame, knowing you had been caught. You lowered your eyes, avoiding their gaze. "I... I didn't want to bother you. You have so much to do, and I didn't want to be a burden. I thought I could handle it on my own. I'm sorry." you mumbled, feeling small and pathetic.

Yujin and Gaeul sighed, shaking their heads. They moved closer to you, wrapping their arms around you in a warm hug. "You're not a bother, or a burden, or anything like that. You're our friend, our teammate, our family. We care about you, and we want you to be happy and healthy. You don't have to handle everything on your own. You can always ask us for help, or tell us how you feel. We're here for you, no matter what. Do you understand?" Yujin said, her voice soft and sincere.

Gaeul nodded, adding her own words of comfort. "Yeah, what she said. You're amazing, and talented, and beautiful, and we love you so much. You don't have to hide your feelings or pretend to be okay when you're not. You don't have to be perfect, or strong, or anything else. You just have to be yourself, and that's enough for us. You're enough, okay?"

You felt a wave of emotion wash over you, making you choke up. You couldn't believe how lucky you were to have them in your life, how much they cared about you, how much they accepted you. You nodded, feeling a smile tug at your lips. "Okay. Thank you. I love you too." you said, hugging them back.

They smiled, kissing your cheeks and forehead. "You're welcome. We're glad you're feeling better." they said, tucking you in the bed. "Now, you need to rest. We'll stay with you until you fall asleep, and then we'll call the manager and the doctor in the morning. Don't worry about anything, we'll take care of everything. Just focus on getting well, alright?"

You nodded, feeling a wave of relief and gratitude. You closed your eyes, feeling their warmth and love surround you. You drifted off to sleep, feeling safe and secure in their arms. You knew you had nothing to fear, as long as they were with you. You knew you had found your home, with them.

#ive x reader #ive yujin #gaeul x reader #yujin x reader #ahn yujin #kim gaeul #ahn yujin x reader #kpop x reader #kpop imagines #kpop gg #ive #sickfic #kpop sickfic #k films

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hetchiew · 5 months ago

Note

another cold update in wav form? you sound so sick yet so hot that all I want todo is take care of you and cuddle you😅😅

Contains: sneezing, hitching, stuffy sniffles, a nose blowing attempt (I’m too stuffy to really blow properly), & other pathetic stuffy noises (“guh”)

Welp! I’ve been sick for 5 days now, and I still sound awful…😅

My fever broke yesterday though, so that’s a good sign!🎉

#answered ask #my wavs #cold & flu chronicles #sneezefucker #sneeze kink #snzblr #sneeze wav #sneezeaudio #coldfucker

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aftgficrec · 3 months ago

Note

Hi! Thanks so much for doing this i have wanting to catch you open for so long!! How are you? I hope you have a good day!

I was wondering if there were any fics focused on neil and mary/neil and Nathan? Like his emotions, thoughts, etc, and the things he went through bcs of them/how they still affect him even now? Thank you so much in advance!

Our poor traumatized Neil! Yes, there is much to explore on this topic. -A

most previous asks lead to more recs:

angsty bad days for Neil here

Neil with ptsd here

more Neil with DID here

Neil cries, comforted by Andrew/foxes here

Neil says ‘it’s fine I’ve had worse’ here

Neil’s scars 2 here

scars and healing here

Neil goes to therapy here

Neil attempts suicide here

‘You're Wonderful’ here

‘Hold My Hand?,’ ‘I'll Still Solve You,’ and ‘Fear (but not of you)’ here

‘The Books of Baltimore’ series: ‘Ghost of You’ here, ‘Run to You’ here

‘the upswing’ (completed), ‘please (don't bite),’ ‘Will you love me for who I am…’ ‘To be safe,’ ‘Safe with him,’ and ‘i called your name ‘til the fever broke’ here

‘my friends and I…,’ ‘Pasts Intertwined,’ ‘My Stomach is a Wasteland,’ ‘side effects may vary’ ‘Bad Apple,’ and ‘You Are So Much More Than Your Father's Son’ here

‘Medicated rabbits don't run as fast’ here

‘Broken Symmetries’ and ‘No More Fucks To Give’ (updated) here

‘24 Floors’ here

‘A Quiet Little Seedling,’ ‘If I Knew You,’ and ‘Step By Step’ here

‘slow down (you crazy child),’ ‘Make a Home’ (updated), and ‘make me a promise’ here

‘Dreamed in red’ here

‘...Just Us, and Y(our) Friend Kevin’ here

‘Nothing Mattered Until You’ here (jeanneil)

amputation or permanent leg damage:

Neil's legs (the fucked up edition) here and here

Neil dies/amputations in Baltimore here

‘La jetée n'est plus loin’ here

‘I’m More Than This Body of Mine’ here (completed)

‘Next to You’ here

‘Rare pair hell series’ part 9 here

‘Live for you / Stay for me’ here

‘“I pick up daddies at the playground.”’ here

‘lie to me (for i do not wish to live the truth)’ here

‘White Hands’ and ‘If Neil, Then Fox’ here

‘(don’t fear) the reaper’ here

‘Under the kitchen lights…’ here

‘Point Nemo’ here

‘Lifelines’ here

‘does the dog die at the end’ here

you may also like:

Neil runs after joining the foxes 2 here

andreil on the run from the mafia here

soulmates who feel each other's pain here

Mary/Nathan's people come back here

Mary tries to take Neil from the foxes here

Neil kills Nathan here

tell me where i came from, what i will always be by geeseproblems [Rated G, 317 Words, Complete, 2021]

She lives in his body like no other.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: canonical character death

Down with Something by pawnofkings [Rated T, 3051 Words, Complete, 2021]

Neil is sick, and he does his best to keep anyone from finding that out. He collapses in the middle of practice.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

you asked for this by Anonymous [Rated M, 790 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Neil Josten and guilt

tw: implied major character death, tw: child abuse, tw: emotional abuse, tw: blood, tw: negative self talk

A reflection or a lie by ShadowDolphin [Rated G, 839 Words, Complete, 2022]

Sixteen year old Neil Josten has an identity crisis cuz depersonalization is a wonderful thing that exists and he doesn't feel real

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

i know you'll take me with you by lil_macaroon [Rated T, 6129 Words, Complete, AFTG Mixtape Exchange 2023]

Neil has feelings that make him want to run. The only thing that keeps him at Palmetto State, hell, what keeps him in South Carolina, is the promise he made when Andrew asked him to stay three years ago. Unable to run, it all keeps building within him until one day, Andrew puts him in the car, and they go.

keep your head above the water (I can’t) by drewdrop44 [Rated T, 1156 Words, Complete, 2022]

The feeling of water moving over his head, swallowing him whole. Neil woke with a scream trapped in his mouth.

tw: drowning, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: violence, tw: nightmares

It's a punch and a kiss, I'm trying to remember by beckdarkthrone [Not Rated, 18604 Words, Incomplete, Updated June 2024]

He has a hold on himself as Neil, as Abram, as Nathaniel.. Until he doesn't.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: dissociative disorder, tw: blood, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: internalized homphobia

NB: this author has a podcast with aftg-centric episodes; check out ‘So You Think You Like’ on spotify.

We're all Monsters Here by serene_chaos [Not Rated, 892 Words, Complete, 2022]

"I am part of the slaughter house. I feel that makes me more of a monster than you.” “Don’t look at me to absolve you.” Andrew flicks his cigarette towards Neil. Sparks landing inches from Neil’s hand. OR Neil doesn't think Andrew is a monster, but thinks he might be.

tw: childhood trauma, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture

Who Am I to You? by serene_chaos [Rated M, 91907 Words, Incomplete, Updated April 2024]

Neil Josten was born with violence in his blood and raised as a weapon to hide in plain sight. And then he finds himself surrounded by foxes and his usual survival tactics ruined by a five foot goalie. The whole mobster mafia problem isn’t helping either. -- Cue a Neil who cares a little less, a past raven, and potentially a little something more to live for.

tw: attempted rape, tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: murder, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: attempted nonconsensual drug use, tw: panic attacks, tw: flashbacks, tw: homophobia, tw: alcohol abuse/alcoholism, tw: animal abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm

you will always be my favorite form of loving by something_boring [Rated T, 15831 Words, Complete, 2024]

5 times the Foxes tried to take care of Neil and 1 time they didn't have to.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: panic attacks, tw: nightmares, tw: alcohol abuse, tw: blood, tw: vomit, tw: violence, tw: bullying

pain our brain has made by pipedreamaddy [Rated M, 16052 Words, Incomplete, Updated July 2024]

Neil and his discovery that he has trauma-induced migraines because we all know how he neglects his health. Between everything else going on with him, a migraine seemed very minor to him. But now that he is in a healthy, safe, and loving environment where he is thriving, he can take care of himself—theoretically speaking, at least. Or the fic where Neil finally gets the healing that he needs.

tw: needles, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: childhood trauma, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: flashbacks, tw: ptsd, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced murder

Keep Your Head Down and Don't Look Back by Capheira [Rated G, 775 Words, Complete, 2024]

Neil has spent most of his life running from his past but perhaps this time he was a little too efficient.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: panic attacks

Scars Like Stars by Kory_Rory [Rated T, 3429 Words, Incomplete, Updated June 2024]

Neil deals with his trauma by biting himself while being completely oblivious to the harm he's putting himself through. But it's okay cause the foxes are there to help him :)

tw: self harm, tw: body dysmorphia, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: negative self talk, tw: flashbacks

I’m not used to all this water, love (it’s true) by niicowo [Rated T, 1415 Words, Complete, 2024]

Neil never thought anyone could ever love him. His parents never made him feel loved. But then again, what did he know about love? Nothing, he guessed. But one thing he did know was that Andrew loved him. And he just may love him too.

tw: past suicidal ideation, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

Razor’s Edge by godless_writer [Rated T, 2178 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil Josten, a caring, shit-talking, striker for the Palmetto State Foxes. Nathaniel Wesninski, a runner, and the son of The Butcher of Baltimore. When Neil thinks that Andrew is in danger after he walks into Kevin and Andrew fighting, his world turns red and those lines become blurred.

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: dissociation

Don't let me be by Cutie_Wan [Not Rated, 1983 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil suffers a major dissociation episode in front of the Foxes.

tw: dissociation, tw: self harm, tw: violence

grin and bear it by wlwmlmsolidarity [Rated G, 1221 Words, Complete, 2024]

neil has chronic pain due to lola and tries to just ignore it and push through on a bad pain day, andrew forcefully makes him relax and accept help

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: chronic pain

NB: includes fanart by @clementinecloudz

scream and yell but i feel speechless by DepressedTerrestrial [Not Rated, 6770 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil had some unnecessary surgery done when he was younger. No one (including Neil) knows how to handle this except for Andrew (kind of).

tw: past medical abuse, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture

Isn't he the monster by DarkD [Not Rated, 16033 Words, Complete, 2021]

On a day when Neil "wakes up" in a particularly bad mood, hearing anyone being cruel to Andrew becomes unbearable to the point that he is on the verge of an explosion.

tw: violence, tw: blood, tw: self harm, tw: dissociation, tw: panic attacks, tw: child abuse

Art

Day 19: bullet and Day 4: stitches art by @thefluffiestbird

Nathan was known for his extravagant parties and incredible entertainment art by @mac-monsters; twitter

Neil & Mary on the run edit by @romanovass

These ouches feel a little rough for a child on the run. comic by @softerstorms

“Don’t you dare be more afraid of me than you are of Andrew” art by @rainbowd00dles

There’s nowhere to run art by @/tryashaa on instagram

“I’m fine” - *literally dying* art by @/koldangrey_art on instagram

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slay00ryu · 19 days ago

Text

Taking care of your overworked angel.

_____________________________________________

Trigger warnings!

- Nothing but sweet fluff to find here >:3

- Fear of disappointing someone

_____________________________________________

For as long as you know Angel, you always knew that this woman was overworked, mostly because of her trashy manager. But even with him gone, Angel was still putting a lot on her plate. A new video idea here, a new asshole to kill there, and it all summed up with her staying up at nights.

You and Ronin were both worried about her and her health, after all no human being was able to stay healthy like this. Both of you tried your hardest to get her to stop working as much on the channel and take a short break. But Angel can really be a stubborn woman.

Unfortunately the worries you and Ronin both expressed became true. You were sitting on the edge of Angel's bed as she was whimpering from the fever she caught. She was coughing, sneezing and shivering.

You had to use some serious strength and persuasion to have her stay in bed, and call off the photoshoot that she was supposed to give for one of the big clothing companies.

User: Angel, for gods sake. Why couldn't you just move some things around in your schedule? If it wasn't for me you could end up in the hospital!

You weren't the type of person to hide your feelings, so it was only natural for you to show just how worried you felt in that moment.

User: And it's not just me who's worried, Ronin is spamming my DMs to keep him updated on how you're doing. Seriously he almost came here, but I told him that you have to rest and he wouldn't really help.

You sighed. Angel moved her hand to cup your cheek and you hold onto it, nuzzling you cheek against her hot palm..

Angel: ... I'm sorry, I... I just don't want to disappoint my fans with the lack of updates.

She said and your gaze softened.

User: Angel, your fans would want you to stay healthy and not basically kill yourself with the amount of work you put into your channel and modelling.

Your lip trembled at the thought of Angel possibly ending up in the hospital because of her perfectionist nature. Angel seemed to notice just how worried her stubbornness made you, her lover, her partner, the person who was there for her in her worst time.

She still had a hard time when it came to realising that someone genuinely cared about her (someone else than Ronin at least) and it broke her heart to see you at the verge of tears.

You felt Angel's arms wrap around you, her face snuggled against the crook of your neck, her whole face was hot against your skin, so was her whole body.

Angel: I'm so sorry, mi corazon. I also wish that I wouldn't be so used to putting so much on my plate.

User: It's not your fault Angel. It's hard to get rid of something like this.

You took a long as deep breath, taking in the pleasant scent that always came off of your wonderful girlfriend. You calmed up and broke the embrace. Even if hugging with her felt like heaven, Angel had to lay down and rest.

User: I already went out and bought some medicine for you while you were asleep. But before we can cool your fever down, you have to eat.

You got up from the bed. Angel wanted to protest and reach out for your hand to stop you from leaving her. But you still went to the kitchen to prepare some food for her (even when snuggling up with your angel was one of your favourite things).

You returned to the bedroom, a tray in your hands. On the tray there was, a cup of tea, some fever cooling medicine, and a chicken soup that you had ordered some time ago.

User: I brought you some food. I'll help you sit up.

You put the tray on the night stand and moved to Angel's side. You helped her sit and placed some pillows behind her back to keep her seated. You sat on the edge of the bed and took a hold of the soup bowl and a spoon.

Angel: Will you feed me now?

She asked with a giggle. Even when sick, Angel was the most adorable woman you ever knew.

User: You can't really expect me to do everything on your own in this state.

You replied and moved the soup filled spoon up to her mouth.

Angel: Maybe getting sick is not that bad, if I can get this special treatment.

You just rolled her eyes.

User: You don't have to be sick for me to care for you Angel.

You knew that Angel had a hard time understanding that she too deserves love and gentleness. You wanted to be the one to help her and be there for her. You wanted to show this oh so, sweet, sweet woman, just how much love she deserves. She was your angel, your girlfriend. Sometimes you wished that you could be the one to end her manager, but you knew that Angel would never agree to it and her murdering him on her own was the only option for her to be freed.

After eating the soup Angel took the medicine you gave to her. You laid her down on the bed again, tucking her in so she'd be comfortable.

Angel: Can you stay with me, Mi Vida?

The pleading look in her eyes, combined with her sickness, made your heart throb. You gave in very reluctantly, you were worried that Angel's condition could become worse than it already is. But you loved this woman way too much.

Now you two were snuggled up, Angel was keeping her head buried into your shirt, and you gently rubbed her back.

Angel: Um... User... What would you say for a short trip after I get better? Just the two of us. It can be wherever you want, but I want to spend time with you...

She looked up, her glassy eyes from the fever were scanning your face. You were smiling softly, already imagining the time the two of you could spend together. You placed a small kiss on her forehead.

User: Of course Angel, anything for you. But you have to get better soon, or we'll have to wait a while.

You said the last sentence jokingly.

User: How about a quick nap? You should rest, and I'm tired after writing for a long time.

Angel: Writing? Please tell me the plot. It'll help me sleep, listening to your voice I mean.

She didn't have to ask twice. You were telling her about the book you wanted to write about Misaki, she was your second favourite person in the server so they deserved their own book.

You felt how Angel's body relaxed, her breath getting steadier. You pressed her closer to yourself, whispering a quick goodnight into her ear and falling asleep too.

_____________________________________________

So this one is short, short. But I felt like making it longer would destroy it and it sits in my draft for a while anyway :d (Ronin stop stealing the spotlight!!!)

I hope you enjoyed it and that Angel is herself in here :3

Bye bye <3

#killer chat #killer chat angel #fluff #cute #gender neutral reader #lgbtq

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missys-mansion-of-mistakes · 3 months ago

Text

August 16th, 2024. Friday.

✨ Feeling a lot less sick today. Yay! My fever broke overnight, but my cough is a lot worse. Still, that's a lot easier to be productive with.

Managed to get done today:

Tried to get dad to fix my car, but he forgot the part we needed. RIP. That's going to have to wait until next Tuesday

Organized all the grants that I can apply for by date due

Drafted 1 grant application

Unpacked my bags from the Philly trip

Cancelled all my extra subscriptions that were sucking up money

Updated YNAB

Made a gameplan for finishing my book, Rot, by end of August

🌟 Gotta keep moving forward. It's the only way to progress.

[Photos: book haul from Philadelphia, todolist]

#studyblr #my journal #my photos #academia #missys mistakes #scholarships

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alexis-royce · 10 months ago

Text

Youuuuuu got it @windienine ! Updating an old post since the formatting broke on it:

Like any good OC gremlin, I have playlists for all my favs. The one I’ll put before the cut, though, is Kinesis’ theme song, written by Andrew Huang. He legit wrote it for Evil Plan. It’s both about my OC and it has a slick guitar theme that is just….EVERYTHING. It is the best character theme I have and I adore it.

Here’s a pile (though not even close to all) of character songs under the cut:

Evil Plan

Kinesis: Upside down - Barenaked Ladies, Defeat You- Smash Mouth, half the Dr. Horrible Soundtrack because of course, Evil Genius - Pat Benatar, Bank Job- BNL. A reader also once sent me “Sexy Supervillain” by Fanatical, and I laughed so hard I nearly fell out of my chair.

Alice: Science Vs Romance, Rilo Kiley , Do It - Spice Girls.

William: Vanishing, BNL.

Lemon and Lime - Sunday Morning - Maroon 5

Sire

Anna & Susan - Odds Are - BNL

(Cannot for the life of me find the rest of those playlists. I’m sure there were a ton. Anyway I know a fuckton of weird old musicals, it’s mostly them.)

morphE - Mage: The Awakening Campaign

Campaign Theme: Dark Blue - Jack’s Mannequin

Ammi: Esperandote - Rika Muranaka & Vanesa Quiroz

Sanguine (The First One) - Mister Blue Sky in G Major

Amical: Golden and Green - The Builders and the Butchers, Hurricane - Panic!, Killer Queen - Queen

Billy Thatcher: Every fucking song from Chess, The Musical, by Tim Rice and the boys from Abba

Hendrik Rakove: Hurt So Good - John Mellencamp, Lovefool - Spencer Day’s Cover, Love Me Dead - Ludo, Grace Kelly - BYU A cappella cover, Talk about You - MIKA, It’s All Been Done - BNL, Boomerang - BNL, The Show Must Not Go On - Harvey Danger, Circus- Drew Gasparini and Lindsay Mandez.

Talaiporia- Choke - I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Andrew Cross: Camisado- Panic!

Closing Shop - (The weird experimental meta campaign that literally ate itself)

Steam Rising - Murder By Death, Devil’s Calling - Florence and the Machine, Talkin at the Texaco - James McMurtry, Keepin’ It Real - Barenak BLOW BY KESHA BLOW BY KESHA GET MY SONG RIGHT GET IT RIGHT, Sometimes the Line Walks You - Murder By Death

Exit Signs- Slashers/mixed nWoD Campaign

Season One theme: What if I’m Wrong - Damien Rice

Season Two Theme: I Wanna Get Better - Bleachers

Cyril: Disaster - Drew Weston, A Little Irony - Tom Milsom.

Dea ‘Exit’ DeLus: When I Grow Up - Tim Minchin, Break Your Heart - BNL, If I Had a Heart - Fever Ray, Crystalline - Bjork, Still - Ben Folds, Come Into My Head - Kimbra, Dinner at Eight - Rufus Wainwright, What You Know - Two Door Cinema Club, Big Dark Love - Murder By Death, Bitter and Sick - One Two,

DRT: Bitter Rivals - Sleigh Bells, Passcode - BNL.

Swing: Boogie Feet - Kesha.

Deirdre Whitman: Welcome to the Ball - Rufus Wainwright.

NonPlatonic Forms

I’m Gonna Win- Rob Cantor Boomerang - Lucy Schwartz, Hate that you know me so well- Bleachers, Jericho - Rufus Wainwright, Guster - Center of Attention, Toe to Toe - BNL, Give It Back to You - BNL, Limits -BNL (I apologize for nothing I love Silverball), Blood - ANIMA!, Amy aka Spent Gladiator 1 - Mountain Goats, and of COURSE- Dead Inside by Patricia Taxxon!

- Other characters -

Channery Keene

Artificial Heart - JoCo, Erase Me - Ben Folds Five, Desperate Measures - Marianas Trench, Haunted - Maya Kern, Cake - Melanie Martinez, Bulletproof- La Roux, Cassandra - Area 11, Stolen - Greentree, Guster - Simple Machine, Make Me Feel - Janelle Monae, Could I Leave You - (specifically Donna Murphy at the Sondheim’s 80th concert).

Chrome and Prism

Kiss with a Fist - Florence and the Machine, Langhorns - Spybeat, Dancing’s Not a Crime - Panic!, Thanks I Hate It - Simple Creatures, Sweet Talk - Saint Motel, This Is Love - Air Traffic Controller, Nothing Without You- Vienna Teng

Harold Ludicael

Consequence Free - Great Big Sea, Sea of No Cares- Great Big Sea, Don’t Threaten me with a Good Time - Panic!, Dust and Ashes from Great Comet, I Need to Know from Jekyll and Hyde; Boy Decide - Murder by Death, Spring Break 1899 - Murder By Death, My Type - Saint Motel.

#ocs #character songs #I think I also have a playlist for Gray Jacket but I can’t find it #I apologize in advance for no Academic songs yet #haven’t been listening to enough new music lately #But I used to burn CDs for my tabletop groups #I made cover art and liner notes with art for the tracklists too #And I also spliced songs together on occasion #the Keepin’ It Real track in Closing Shop started glitching in the middle #before turning into Kesha’s Blow #It was a way to both characterize the villain AND have them pull off a 4th wall break #The fact that I don’t do webcomics or twice a week tabletop sessions anymore is #like I took the weights off #if anyone wonders how I make so much stuff #it’s because is was forced in a terrible crucible #XD

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toshootforthestars · 8 months ago

Text

From the report by Beth Mole, posted 29 Feb 2024:

In a lengthy background document, the agency laid out its rationale for consolidating COVID-19 guidance into general guidance for respiratory viruses—including influenza, RSV, adenoviruses, rhinoviruses, enteroviruses, and others, though specifically not measles. The agency also noted the guidance does not apply to health care settings and outbreak scenarios. "COVID-19 remains an important public health threat, but it is no longer the emergency that it once was, and its health impacts increasingly resemble those of other respiratory viral illnesses, including influenza and RSV," the agency wrote. The most notable change in the new guidance is the previously reported decision to no longer recommend a minimum five-day isolation period for those infected with the pandemic coronavirus, SARS-CoV-2. Instead, the new isolation guidance is based on symptoms, which matches long-standing isolation guidance for other respiratory viruses, including influenza. "The updated Respiratory Virus Guidance recommends people with respiratory virus symptoms that are not better explained by another cause stay home and away from others until at least 24 hours after both resolution of fever AND overall symptom are getting better," the document states. "This recommendation addresses the period of greatest infectiousness and highest viral load for most people, which is typically in the first few days of illness and when symptoms, including fever, are worst." The CDC acknowledged that the eased isolation guidance will create "residual risk of SARS-CoV-2 transmission," and that most people are no longer infectious only after 8 to 10 days. As such, the agency urged people to follow additional interventions—including masking, testing, distancing, hygiene, and improving air quality—for five additional days after their isolation period. "Today’s announcement reflects the progress we have made in protecting against severe illness from COVID-19," CDC Director Dr. Mandy Cohen said in a statement. "However, we still must use the commonsense solutions we know work to protect ourselves and others from serious illness from respiratory viruses—this includes vaccination, treatment, and staying home when we get sick." Overall, the agency argued that a shorter isolation period would be inconsequential. Other countries and states that have similarly abandoned fixed isolation times did not see jumps in COVID-19 emergency department visits or hospitalizations, the CDC pointed out. And most people who have COVID-19 don't know they have it anyway, making COVID-19-specific guidance moot, the agency argued. In a recent CDC survey, less than half of people said they would test for SARS-CoV-2 if they had a cough or cold symptoms, and less than 10 percent said they would go to a pharmacy or health care provider to get tested. Meanwhile, "The overall sensitivity of COVID-19 antigen tests is relatively low and even lower in individuals with only mild symptoms," the agency said. The CDC also raised practical concerns for isolation, including a lack of paid sick leave for many, social isolation, and "societal costs." The points are likely to land poorly with critics. “The CDC is again prioritizing short-term business interests over our health by caving to employer pressure on COVID guidelines. This is a pattern we’ve seen throughout the pandemic,” Lara Jirmanus, Clinical Instructor of Medicine at Harvard Medical School, said in a press release last month after the news first broke of the CDC's planned isolation update. Jirmanus is a member of the People's CDC, a group that advocates for more aggressive COVID-19 policies, which put out the press release. Another member of the group, Sam Friedman, a professor of population health at NYU Grossman School of Medicine, also blasted the CDC's stance last month. The guidance will "make workplaces and public spaces even more unsafe for everyone, particularly for people who are high-risk for COVID complications," he said.

But, the CDC argues that the threat of COVID-19 is fading. Hospitalizations, deaths, prevalence of long COVID, and COVID-19 complications in children (MIS-C) are all down. COVID-19 vaccines are safe and effective at preventing severe disease, death, and to some extent, long COVID—we just need more people to get them. Over 95% of adults hospitalized with COVID-19 in the 2023–2024 respiratory season had no record of receiving the seasonal booster dose, the agency noted. Only 22% of adults got the latest shot, including only 42% of people ages 65 and older. In contrast, 48% of adults got the latest flu shot, including 73% of people ages 65 and older. But even with the crummy vaccination rates for COVID-19, a mix of past infection and shots have led to a substantial protection in the overall population. The CDC even went as far as arguing that COVID-19 deaths have fallen to a level that is similar to what's seen with flu. "Reported deaths involving COVID-19 are several-fold greater than those reported to involve influenza and RSV. However, influenza and likely RSV are often underreported as causes of death," the CDC said. In the 2022–2023 respiratory virus season, there were nearly 90,000 reported COVID-19 deaths. For flu, there were 9,559 reported deaths, but the CDC estimates the true number to be between 18,000 and 97,000. In the current season, there have been 32,949 reported COVID-19 deaths to date and 5,854 reported flu deaths, but the agency estimates the real flu deaths are between 17,000 and 50,000. "Total COVID-19 deaths, accounting for underreporting, are likely to be higher than, but of the same order of magnitude as, total influenza deaths," the agency concluded.

(say no to raw dough: CDC)

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thereforepizza · 2 years ago

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Life update. More like sick update. Yknow, the good old head cold days

So I started feeling I’ll last Tuesday or Wednesday, but I had a really important thing this last weekend, so I pushed through, told myself it was only allergies, and made my body belief it wasn’t really sick. The weekend went really well and I got to Sunday feeling absolutely exhausted but overall not bad.

Monday I didn’t take any of the medicine I’d taken over the weekend, so I assumed that was why I felt bad. As the day progressed I felt worse and worse. Then by evening I felt like I had a fever. Didn’t know where the thermometer was so I just took medicine and went to bed a staggering two or three hours before my normal time. I slept alright until about 5:30 when people started to get up for the day. Then I slept in bursts of about a half hour to an hour. Come 6:20, I couldn’t sleep any longer and I felt very weak and feverish so I got up to find the thermometer. That took forever. When I finally found it, it read like 97 which is obviously not right on a good day. So I abandoned that. Long story short I stayed home from classes and have had a fever off and on all day, as confirmed by a thermometer my friend dropped off this morning.

And now? I woke up not long ago in a cold sweat so I thought the fever finally broke for the last time. Wrong. I’m still about 100

Overall it’s been a pretty decent day though. I swept and vacuumed, which really needed done (I have two young dogs and we live on a farm and it’s been muddy outside. I bet y’all can imagine the kind of mess the house is in). I watched like 15 episodes of Watcher Weekly, made myself a smoothie, ruined a mug of potentially Matcha, etc. so I don’t feel completely unaccomplished

So yeah

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girlinlotsoffandoms · 2 years ago

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she's her daddy's girl, her momma's world - chapter 35

make it go away (part two)

Maya’s still sick, her parents are still worried, and their fire fam is the best.

Read on AO3 or below

Twenty-four hours later and things with Maya had gone from bad to worse, just like Dr. Michaels had warned. Maya was still struggling with her breathing and had been bumped from 3Ls of oxygen up to 5Ls. After a few failed feeding attempts, where Maya’s oxygen stats dropped way too low, the baby had a feeding tube placed and Stella made the switch to pumping. It wasn’t a pleasurable experience for either of them.

Maya’s fever broke a few hours after they arrived at the hospital, which was the only thing going in their favor thus far.

Maya was uncomfortable and fussy with the IV in her arm and the oxygen cannula and feeding tube taped on her face. Despite only being two months old, Maya knew she was in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar things, and she did not like it. The only way she’d sleep or calm was in her parents’ arms, meaning Kelly and Stella were as exhausted as Maya was.

They took turns; one would hold Maya so she could rest and sleep while the other would be free to walk around and stretch their legs, grab some coffee or something to eat, and go to the bathroom. Neither Kelly nor Stella ventured too far away from Maya’s room though, not after the infant had knocked one of her monitors off, causing an alarm to sound. Everything was fine but the incident terrified Kelly and Stella enough to not want to be too far away from Maya.

Natalie, April, and the rest of their friends from Med popped up to the PICU to check on the Severides. Maya perked up at the newcomers and the attention they gave her and Kelly and Stella appreciated the coffee and snacks they brought with them. April even stayed after her shift ended and sat with Maya so Kelly and Stella could go down to the hospital cafeteria and get some semi-decent food. They weren’t gone for long, despite April telling them to take their time.

Sleep was a foreign concept that night. Kelly and Stella took turns, alternating between sitting with Maya in the chair by her bed and sleeping on the pull-out couch, but between their worry, the uncomfortable furniture, nurses coming in and out at all hours, and Stella’s pumping schedule no one got any decent rest.

When Maya’s oxygen got bumped up, any hope of sleep was dashed.

Casey, Brett, Boden, and a few others from 51 checked in every few hours. Kelly and Stella gave them updates and even sent a picture or two. If the texts weren’t enough indication as to how badly Kelly and Stella were struggling with Maya being sick, their faces (and the bags under their eyes) when they answered one of Brett’s FaceTime calls left no doubt.

As Maya’s godmother and Stella’s best friend, Brett hated seeing the people she loved sick and struggling. She wanted to help them in any way she could, so she hatched a plan. Casey, Violet, and the rest of second shift were roped in throughout the day but no one complained; they all cared for and were worried about Maya and her parents. Everyone had their assignments and by the time their shift was over, they all went their separate ways with a plan to meet at the hospital in an hour.

… … …

Maya had just received her morning feeding and made her way back into Kelly’s arms when there was a knock on the door. Kelly and Stella looked up and there in the doorway were their friends and teammates, armed with bags and what looked like the entire gift shop.

“Hey,” Stella said, rising from her chair. “What are you guys doing here?”

“We just wanted to stop by, make sure you all were doing OK,” Boden announced as the members of 51 started to cram into the hospital room. While they had all showered and changed clothes since their shift ended, they all wanted to keep a safe distance from the sick baby.

“I didn’t know what all you guys had here, so Matt and I stopped by the loft and grabbed some stuff,” Brett shared, placing the duffle bag she was carrying next to the pull-out couch. “And Cruz and Chloe grabbed some decent breakfast and coffee for you.”

Sure enough, Cruz and Chloe made it into the room, to-go containers and coffee cups in their hands. They sat everything down on the roll-away table in the corner.

Tears welled in Stella’s eyes. “Thank you guys so much.”

“Of course,” Brett cooed, wrapping an arm around Stella’s shoulders and giving her a comforting hug.

A small raspy cough directed everyone’s attention to the infant in Kelly’s arms. He rubbed her back and adjusted his hold on her as she continued to cough. When Maya was finished coughing, she let out a tired, wheezing sigh and blinked her weary eyes.

It was an equally sad and adorable sight.

“How’s she doing?” Casey asked, moving to Kelly’s side.

“She’s hanging in there,” Kelly said, smiling slightly as Maya snuggled closer at the sound of his voice. “She’s been fever free for almost 24 hours and the extra oxygen is helping.”

“They scheduled her for another chest x-ray later this morning,” Stella chimed in. “If her lungs are looking better, Dr. Michaels said they might try and lower her oxygen.”

“Any idea how long they’re going to keep Maya here?” Chloe asked, joining Brett at Stella’s side.

“At least a few more days,” Stella answered. “They need to get her completely off oxygen and make sure she can maintain her levels without help.”

A few more questions were asked, but everyone’s attention was soon diverted to Capp and Gallo who, rather unceremoniously, dropped their armfuls of gifts in the corner of the room. There were stuffed animals, balloons, a blanket, candy, and flowers…..way more than anyone needed, let alone a two-month-old.

Kelly raised an eyebrow. “Did you two leave anything in the gift shop for anyone else?”

“They would’ve bought more,” Tony started, an amused but annoyed smirk on his face. “But the manager kicked them out for causing a disturbance.”

“It was his fault!” Capp and Gallo said at the same time, pointing at each other.

That started an argument between the two. Although it brought some levity to the situation, Stella stepped in before things got too heated. “Guys, we appreciate the thought and the love but Maya’s two months old. I don’t think she needs any of this stuff.”

Capp and Gallo looked around at everything they’d bought. Sheepish smiles stretched across their faces, almost as if they just realized how overboard they’d gone.

Gallo shrugged. “Eh. Keep what you guys need and what you think Maya would like and donate the rest to the other kids and families on the floor.”

Stella and a few others huffed out a laugh before returning to their conversations.

Everyone stayed around for a little while longer until it was clear Maya was losing steam. They all said their goodbyes, leaving the baby and her parents to get some much-needed rest.

Brett and Casey were the last to leave, promising to swing by again later in the day. It was clear that Kelly and Stella were tired and frazzled and Brett and Casey hoped they’d be able to help. Their friends needed a break outside the four walls of Maya’s hospital room.

They weren’t expecting Kelly and Stella to spend the night at home, but they hoped they could at least get the anxious parents out of the hospital long enough to shower and eat actual food.

It wasn’t an easy task by any means, but Brett and Casey managed to convince them. They had arrived back at the hospital around dinnertime—Maya had just gotten a feeding, her stats were holding steady, and she was ready to sleep. It was a hard sell at first but after Maya showed she would happily sleep in Brett’s and Casey’s arms, Kelly and Stella finally agreed.

Despite the constant text updates and pictures sent, Stella and Kelly’s break only lasted a few hours. Brett and Casey hoped they would’ve been gone longer, but they had to admit the anxious parents looked a bit more refreshed.

… … …

It was nearly 36 hours later when things changed again, this time for the better. An updated chest x-ray showed that Maya’s lungs had cleared, so the doctors started weaning her off the higher oxygen. They started slow, moving Maya down from 5Ls to 4Ls and monitoring her closely for several hours. When Maya passed all the tests with flying colors, she was moved down from 4Ls to three.

A few hours later and Maya was back down to 2Ls of oxygen and doing great.

Dr. Michaels kept Maya on 2Ls for a while, wanting to test and see if they could remove the feeding tube. They gave Maya a bottle first and Kelly, Stella, and Dr. Michaels had their attention glued to Maya’s oxygen stats—they held steady and strong. It was a big step in the right direction, but Dr. Michaels wasn’t ready to remove the tube yet. He wanted to see how Maya did with a few more feeds throughout the day.

Maya continued to excel with her feedings, both with the bottle and without, and by dinnertime that day, her feeding tube had been successfully removed.

As Maya got better, the spark returned to her eyes and she began smiling and giggling again. The stress and tension melted from Kelly and Stella and as Maya recovered, they allowed themselves to breathe again.

… … …

Four days after Maya was admitted to the hospital, she was being discharged. The doctors had no reservations about letting Maya go home. She was over the worst of the RSV and was back to her normal, happy self, but Kelly and Stella knew they’d be watching the two-month-old like a hawk for days and weeks to come.

The past four days had been the longest of Kelly’s and Stella’s lives and they were beyond ready to bring their little girl back home.

As they walked out of the hospital doors, Maya securely buckled into her car seat, memories from two months earlier flooded Kelly’s and Stella’s minds. Leaving the hospital with their newborn daughter and bringing her home for the first time had been one of the best moments of their lives and although this hospital homecoming was different from the last, it was no less special.

Maya was happy and healthy and their family was together. There was nothing more special than that.

#she's her daddy's girl her momma's world #maya severide #kelly severide #kelly severide x stella kidd #stellaride #stellaride baby

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never-rpg · 2 years ago

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Hiya, everyone! A quick update: I've already posted on our discord server about it, but just so anyone checking us out here on the main knows as well, I've been sick for the past several days. My fever finally broke yesterday evening; however, my brain is still mega fogged. So the main will be a little more quiet than usual while I recover, but please feel free to send in questions and apps and all of that good stuff. Just know responses might be a bit slow! :)

#psa #update

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rasberryt0rte · 20 days ago

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small update ish

okkkkiii hiiii Tumblr my fever broke yesterday once again I'm still kinda sick but not despairful medieval peasent lvls so I can finally play games w/ out headaches n draw n stuff so very yippee about allat

I posted 2 of my recipes bc I got no clue where the other 1 I promised went 😢 I left it too long and the loose paper has in fact done what loose paper does (become lost)

I actually am in the process of making carrot cake rn bc I was totally down to do it after a suggestion and then got sniped by illness ^^

alsooooooooooo inktober is uhhh

well it's gonna be done eventually maybe not even October who knows but I'll start posting again seeing as I can look at a screen for more than 5 mins without instant despair

#im back #peasentry befell me #but im so ready for evil or whatever #and baking #havent made bread in like a week its been slow ong #emoji of yhe day 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥#becausr we keep winning #also mb for the recipe jumpscare i rlly wanted to do it b4 once again forgetting

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ritsahsilmi · 10 months ago

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Day-13

I wanted to be sick. I know it sounds weird. If I felt unwell, I could lie on the bed and do nothing all day. I wish I could relax for a while without being disturbed. I loved being taken care of by others. But I never felt too sick to ask permission for a day off. I remember when I was a student, I always went to school even though I wasn't fit. Later on, I decided to go home earlier. At least I still took a shower in the morning. Then, I had to dress in my uniform and attend the first classes. Apparently, I didn't skip school, did I? But once I noticed something wrong in my body and expected to be sick, I asked my parents to skip school and made an absent letter to my teacher. Then, I became okay during the day and regretted not coming to school. Back in university, I only had one absence because of sick. That wasn't even my first day of being sick. I already had a fever for two or three days, yet I forced myself to go to campus. I didn't have a thermometer, so I couldn't measure how high my temperature degree of fever was. Somehow, it didn't get better and instead became worse. Finally, I asked my parents to take me home. When they arrived, my mom forced me to take a paracetamol pill. Amazingly, I was sweating out, and only one hour later, I felt much better. But, I had lost interest in attending my classes the next day, so I kept going home. I went to a hospital and got a drug recipe from them. In fact, I was already in good condition. What was the point of having an appointment with the doctor? What did they check on me? LOL. Well, I know they had me a recipe full of multivitamins. Last time, I was outside in windy weather. I loved it, but it caused me to get a fever. In the morning, I measured my body temperature, and it was 37,5 Celcius degree. So, I persisted in going to work. Arriving at my office, I felt worse. Let alone opening my laptop and starting to do my job lists, I slept during the day. I was alone, and fortunately, no students came to the office. At 4 p.m., I immediately returned to my dormitory and checked my updated body temperature. It was getting hotter. It was 38 Celcius degree this time. I was fasting during the day. When the sun had set, I broke my fast and performed the Maghrib prayer. Then I went to sleep until midnight when I realised I hadn't done the Isya prayer. Once I did it, I returned to sleep. I never felt this weak for years. I will reconsider my wish to get sick. It is definitely not okay to have illnesses and don't have the stamina for the day.

#30haribercerita

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hocusbogus · 2 years ago

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Life Update 2022

It’s been awhile, I totally missed 2021 update. Hi.

I always say that don’t I? “It’s been awhile”, and I always say that I always say that, us humans are creatures of habits after all.

It’s almost end of November when I am writing this, that’s at least 11 months worth of updates but I’m going to summarize it here just for record purposes.

I’ve left Nestle. I’ve been to BAT for 7 months and now I am in Mondelez. That’s career wise, experience wise it was a lot of ups and downs. BAT felt like a fever dream to me, did it really happen? What came out of it? I think I have yet to digest. But one thing about me and blogging and writing is that I will never sugarcoat things so here goes nothing.

When I left Nestle my motivation was to leave a toxic boss environment, not my direct line manager but more on the higher ups, I was also so done with a mundane work life, even though my closest friends are still there whom I love dearly and still talk to to this day. But, a workplace is not a social space for me, I learned that the hard way and I don’t know if I am only saying this because I am jaded but it sure does feel like a lesson for me get through my thick skull.

I left my ‘home’ my ‘nest’ and my comfort zone, hoping for something new, something different that will grow me as a person. It was a painful process.

I didn’t expect seeking growth to be painful, I’ve always romanticized growth and change and it will be this amazing thing that will always elevate my life.

It wasn’t.

I was thrusted into such an uncomfortable environment that forced me to figure out what I want in life, what I value and what are my stance on certain behaviour and abuse. It broke me down mentally and physically for sure but at the same time I was also gaining so much more.

Looking back at it now it was defintely a very traumatic experience that I had to endure and of course it would be better if I didn’t have to go through it but at the same time I view it as a chapter to colour my book.

When I left, I had a one month break. To say that it was the best one month break would be lying because I do live in fear of not having anything to fall back into. However, I already secured a job two days after my last day at BAT. I’ve never doubted my ability to secure a job, nor my value in this capilistic world. People would always need manpower to move this huge machine and I can be a very good capitalism slave.

Grateful.

Of course change is always like a growing pain, it gets easier but also harder. I am very closed off to my colleagues now. I would say I’ve grown very jaded and without a sense of purpose for the past two years.

Oh, yes. The pandemic.

That’s another update.

We went through a pandemic and I went from being so full of life and adventure to being completely bogged down and being such a nihilist. I genuinely do not think that human have purpose, let alone lil old me. Anyway, I am going off the tangent now. I did find some sense of purpose when I started lifting weights, eating healthy, taking care of my financial in mid of 2021. I always look back to that period of time in my life and longing to have it back as if I was not already that person, as if it was not me and I’m idolizing her like how we often do with influencers we see on social media.

But I am her. Yes, present tense. I am still her.

I am trying to get the habit back, and morph into the person that I really am in all these layers of jadedness and numbness.

I am trying to find the beauty in vulnerability again, trying to find a sense of purpose. I will write about that in a separate post, this will mainly be updates.

My mom also got really sick in Nov 2021, she was discharged in Jan of 2022, she’s doing so much better now. My youngest brother got accepted into the Police Force. My middle brother is getting married next year, he is also a police now living in Sarawak.

I am still with Safwan, and we have two cats Miso and Sushi, they’re rascals, such weirdos.

I also weigh 83kg now which is the heaviest I’ve ever been, but I have better style and can afford my actual taste in clothing now. Gained all those weight most likely due to hormones and changes in lifestyle ever since I stopped my healthy habits in Oct 2021 after I joined BAT. Not blaming anything, just that I couldn’t adjust to the new routine, when you’re battling demons on the daily it’s really hard to find the energy to maintain the healthy part of you.

Am I happier? I don’t think happiness is something measurable. I am content, with slight doubt and slight nervousness. I am finding joy in little things.

I caught covid on Aug 2022, it was the worst period of my life, I don’t know how other people could possibly still function when they had covid. But glad that I was vaccinated and boosted.

I am still driving my car, Francesco, my trusty Bezza that has been through 3 accidents, yes three. But not major ones, I am divinely protected.

I feel like this post has no structure at all and it is just me simply recording my life for my future self to read. I own an iPhone 13 Pro that I managed to pay cash for, another grateful thing.

Oh and guess what, I went to Seoul, Korea! It was my first big overseas trip, I’ve only ever been to Indonesia for an overseas trip. Had the best time of my life, and I made a vlog on the trip.

Which brings me to my new year’s resolution, to vlog more and to blog more. I used to blog a lot, two to three times a day. Before blogging, I write in my diaries, I’ve always been recording my life down in whatever form was best at the time, and always love looking back at how I was or still am. I’ve always wrote and talk about life, reflecting on things.

I am still that person and no matter how long i’ve stopped, I know she’s in there, so that’s exactly what I want to get back into.

I have more mediums now at least, I can blog, vlog and write. I have a ton of notebooks I used for my manifestations, so yes I do still write.

This feels so refreshing, I love this so much, it feels so natural to me. I am so glad that I discovered Sissel the Danish vlogger living in Korea, and she recommended Father Bronques’ podcast “Make Art Not Content” and the podcast inspired me so much that I pushed myself to open up my dusty Tumblr and write away.

I’ll be back.

#personal #life update

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