#// idk how anyone else will feel about it tho
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Thinking about the Don Suave scene and what it means in terms of LGBTQ+ representation because my brain does nothing if not torment me with random topics to ramble about on the regular.
Anyway, I just wanted to ramble about why I like the scene but to get it out of the way - the scene can very easily be interpreted in so many different ways, and all of them are valid. I personally see it as Leo having at least some attraction to a man. And the following is an explanation of my own interpretation and thoughts on it and what it means especially for Leo’s portrayal in the grand scheme of things.
Long-winded interpretation under the cut!
Now, to start with, it’s important to me that in the scene Leo looks at Don Suave in the very beginning and then for the entirety of the rest of the time the man is on screen, Leo’s eyes are closed. Yet, in the end, he is still visibly enamored with Don Suave, happily cuddling up to him as he’s being carried away.
You can very easily interpret this as Leo being spellbound and that’s honestly super valid and I believe he likely was at least somewhat in the beginning, but considering how fast he looked away and how he never looked again, I personally think it makes more sense to read it as Leo just finding the man attractive, at least somewhat. (For the record, I personally headcanon Rise Leo as bisexual with a heavy preference for men, but I want to be blunt when I say that any interpretation is valid. Literally any. Ace, pan, gay, bi, none of the above or a mixture of something new literally all of it is more than okay and fair. Hell you could even interpret this entire scene as more romantic attraction than physical and it would still work. Anything goes!! Don’t bother people, guys, really.)
The main reason I take this scene to be at the very least LGBTQ+ adjacent isn’t just because of how it’s portrayed, but because of who Leonardo is. Not in terms of Rise of the TMNT, but in terms of the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles™️ franchise.
Leo’s a character who, while changing with each iteration, has still at his core been around for decades upon decades as “the blue one”. One fourth of the team. He’s the one most are going to look at as the Leader, and oftentimes he is the one closest to having the title of Main Character. Not to say the others aren’t just as important, but Leo’s presence in the A plots of basically all TMNT media is often something very main character-esque.
And that’s very, very important to note. Here we have a Main Character of a prolific and decades long-running franchise distributed by a children’s television network. You can play around with his and his brothers’ characters all you like, but there is always going to be challenges to dodge around, especially since this was still in 2018-2019.
For example, you can play around with their designs so long as they’re color coded turtles, but their sexualities? Now that’s tricky.
“But what about Hypno and Warren?” Not main characters and also they’re Rise originals. They have a lot more room to play around with than a character like Leo does. But even talking about main characters in the franchise, you could arguably have an easier time playing around with Donnie or Mikey’s sexualities than Leo or even Raph, as (unfortunately) the former two tend to get more B plots, so they’d likely have had a little more leeway (still not a lot though.)
So, where does this leave us?
It leaves us in a place where outright stating and/or showing undeniable proof of Leo’s attraction to men is very, very difficult. So, workarounds!
Workarounds like the entire Don Suave situation.
To be honest, as left up to interpretation and lowkey and deniable as it is, this whole scene means a lot to me because of who Leo is as a character. It’s just nice when we get so see even the bare bones of representation with characters that have been such a large part of pop culture for decades, y’know? Even if more would be so much nicer, this is better than I thought we’d ever get for these boys.
And, again, literally nothing I’ve said is the only way to interpret it, I’m more than happy when people interpret media on their own honestly, it’s just something I’ve been thinking of lately and I was wondering if others felt the same way.
Whatever you think when you interpret this scene or Rise Leo as a whole, I just thought this would be interesting to think about, even if it was ramble-y, haha.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rise don suave#rottmnt don suave#I lied I’m back to ramble because I’m just#so bad at keeping my mouth shut#or uh#not typing word vomit#anyway- yeah this is my personal interpretation#I believe Leo was legitimately mesmerized by Don Suave’s powers…in the beginning#but even the series’ creator says it was ‘at least PART of what was going on with Leo’ so#idk it’s something that’s been on my mind and I was wondering if anyone else felt the same??#may delete this later who knowssss#pleaaaase feel free to disagree I just like to talk lol#but yeah sometimes I look around at how much media has LGBTQ+ rep in it now and it honestly makes me emotional??#(we always always ALWAYS could use more but)#we did not have even a crumb of this as kids#but also like most of that rep is new properties#and I just was thinking about what that could mean#idk man idk#once again please don’t take this as facts it is VERY MUCH NOT#man I was looking around for good images to use and found jack all#anyway tho did you know Donnie often has bi colors around him and Leo is often dressed in the colors of the trans flag-#okay anyway back to the caves I go this comic won’t draw itself#I gotta spray myself with water any time I go to type long winded essays because they’re not great for the mental health fr
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i think it's so interesting how people have just decided fearne has serious feelings for certain characters just because They ship it when i have yet to see fearne give any sort of hint to that in the game?? NOW if we're talking about people fearne treats differently/cares for differently, i think we should have a discussion on how gentle fearne is with imogen temult i think we should talk about fearne screaming imogen's name, fearne tying her and laudna's ribbons around imogen's wrist, fearne being so opposed to imogen giving in to the storm because she doesn't want to lose her. I think we should Discuss That.
#it's always bothered me how people just assume fearne has romantic feelings for someone purely from headcannons?#like how you interpret a scene does not mean that is what is happening#and it's always with a specific ship#idk sorry#imogen and fearne truther i think fearne has the biggest crush#but doesn't say anything because she's scared of ruining what laudna and imogen have#fearne talks to imogen so differently from anyone else#she is so GENTLE with her#also just funny how no one is even thinking it may be about chetney#i don't think it is but damn he really just is not a thought in some people's minds#not me tho#that's all thank you for coming to my ted talk#fearne calloway#imogen temult#critical role
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@nyaskitten tumblr ate your fucking ask uhh ignore how this is months later BUT i finally watched dr s2 AND
I GET IT NOW. I UNDERSTAND.
#i was asking for art recs and you said cinder back in like. december. if you dont remember#v messy please give me a clear ref without the fur thing and with the shoulder pads please please#google refs are 5 by 5 pixels and either youtube thumbnails or minifigs#what’s going on with his design by the way. why does he have blades strapped to him#pretend his hair is smokey okay idk how to draw smoke#when i saw his design before s2 came out i clocked him as a cold tundra ish terrain design cause of the fur and the wolves#so i gave him like winter gloves even tho that’s unpractical for him but whatever#something about his hair being smokey the way your breath fogs in the cold you understand#the crosses and lines on his armor idk i searched up samurai armor cause i have no idea what they’re supposed to be#he’s a middle aged man to me so it’s kinda funny he’s beefing with a teenager (jordana)#i wanted to see a grudging solidarity under the cat guys rule sort of relationship but no the girls are fighting i guess#what happened with the old guy by the way how does that timeline work#cinder would have to be born after s4 and there’s NO CHANCE this guy is younger than kai#did the pacing of this season feel weird to anyone else or have i just not watched ninjago for too long#anyways#ninjago#lego ninjago#dragons rising#ninjago dr s2#ninjago cinder#cinder ninjago#i hope thats his name i dont rember#ninjago dr spoilers#sort of#jellos scribbles
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alright i finished this so i need to celebrate my accomplishment (???) by sharing it to the world
BETTER versions of my trio designs. because boo boo the other old ones were BORING and TOO SIMPLE and lowhighkey UGLY. i had no idea what i was thinking when i made this but i guess design notes before to see if i can figure out what the fuck these mean 💀
killer🔪:3
he got a GLOW UP!!! when i was figuring him out i was thinking like. this man needs to look combat ready he CANNOT look chill and relaxed he MUST look good to fight. killer can't catch a break 💀 anyways. it's ALSO not revealing (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎) because i feel he would NOT wear that stuff cmon flirty =/= revealing. his charms are found through his words and actions (stabbing someone through the heart) (speaking of the heart i couldn't be bothered to draw his soul mb)
the gloves/shirt/leggings under his clothes may LOOK seperate. but its actually all one big piece!!! because i thought it would be silly and funny :3 but like on a serious note i like this because it provides an extra layer of protection (both in a fight and not) and like. a sense of anonymity i guess??? like you can't see killer's natural body you cant SEE who he was before because hes changed that much (or i guess HE cant see who he was b4 wtvr)
actually a lot of killer's outfit has meaning behind it. knee pads = unnatural body imitation killer is a whole new being now not monster (also adding 2 the combat look :3) belts = restraint killer needs to stay in line and do as he's ordered (i needed some visual interest 💀) zippers on shoes?? actually no meaning i just thought it would be cute. somehow i managed to find meanings 4 all of the trio's zippers. killer's is jammed in that spot. show like idk he is irreversibly changed to what he is now (a lot of this makes no sense)
horror 🪓 :3
if you remove all the rips in the clothes he'd be the most basic out of all of them. but theyre there so he's NOT the most basic! 4 horror i was thinking like "you can see he's fucked up but you can also see he's desperately trying to keep it together" type feel. i totally didnt steal those under socket lines (thank you mania and paranoia for donating to your og versions :3) to make horror look more 🌀🌀🌀 (cannot describe it)
the cloak was stolen from undyne trust. he wears it as a power move FUCK YOU!!! to her :3 also it looks royal and regal which could kinda show like horror's power and sway over snowdin. he's DEFINITELY not a king but he is a provider and a lot of what he says goes around those parts. a lot of ppl look to him as like world's shittiest leader(ish). also i just wanted him to have something unique!
underneath horror's jacket his shirt is reaaaally torn he should probably replace it. there are some holes from when he was pinned down with spears during the core incident and then the whole lower half is just totally torn off from that one comic 💀 but thats why the jacket is zipped up! however the zipper broke and now the jacket can't unzip! (because horror struggles with the fact that horrortale ISNT gonna be perpetually shitty (everyone say thanks aliza) and would rather nobody see him vulnerable)
dust🧣:3
i didn't change much about him lowkey he's pretty much wearing the same CLOTHES. just that the style and way he's wearing them changed. wanted him to give like,,,,, comfy (because bro did not change out of his sansish clothes) but also like FOCUSED o(≧口≦)o like horror he has the under socket line but thats just to make him look more stressed and tired
i moved around the scarf to NOT be around his neck bc it was sooo annoying drawing the hood and then having to account for the scarf. it kind gave him a baby face vibe which i did NOT like. also i think dust would wear the scarf however. very versatile as long as the scarf remains intact. so it COULD go around waist COULD be around neck COULD be around limbs
i didn't mean to do this but the black thingy around his shoulders (was originally there just to fill in the empty space without the scarf there 💀) could be seen as like mourning wear. again with the silly zipper symbolism but dust's zipper is fine its not broken like horror or killer's are because he chose to go down this path. dust CHOSE to zip it up and now its too late to go back now (so bro MUST power through ‼️‼️ he cant unzip the zipper now!!!!)
overall i like these. usually i like coming up with cool unique character designs its so fun but my trio was hard (im hard). probably bc i didnt wanna make then wear anything too weird Dx BUT NOW AT LEAST THEY ALL LOOK LESS BABY!!!! i think i depicted how i see them though like ughhh cannot explain but now they look like how i want them to sound
#i love love LOVE the cloak i gave horror its so fun and silly#it makes him feel so much more im better than you superior asshole vibes#these were inspired by like some old mtt but girl drawings i made a year ago and never showed anyone#so like. i feel like it shouldve been MORE fem looking than the olds ones but surprisingly not#they look gender neutral now!!!! YES!!!!!! mtt just skeletons could look fem or masc but i dont think they would#so they wear clothing in between!!! besides if i wanted to make them girly i have jk fashion au for that#i said no slutty killer but i feel that way for all of them. they wouldn't go around shirtless or wearing tight clothing#they are covered up i swear. none of these fucks are comfortable enough with themselves and anyone else to wear anything revealing#me when i see killer or horror with no shirt on (PUT ON A SHIRT!!! ESPECIALLY KILLER!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING SHIRTLESS THAT EXPOSES YOUR SOUL#and horror's probably scrawny and his bones are brittle so why would be expose them to the elements even more 😭😭 AND he lives in snowdin#something something dust and horror have more classic similar smiles while killers isnt#i was just bullshitting with the mourning outfit dust thing but from the upper half he lowkey does look like it#like a grief stricken depressed maiden. what a surprise that he feels bad after killing everyone he loves#i drew killer with knives here but what i really wanted to draw were like chained blades. sickles. a sword. other blades than just a knife#i actually was gonna draw my trio with different weapons 😭😭 but then i got sidetracked and just drew them with different clothes#when i was drawing dust i was like OH SHIT HE LOOKS WAAAAY TOO MUCH LIKE CLASSIC SANS.#it was unnerving. this is why i give them all different eye shapes to differentiate them!#now they all look more serious and grown up. even tho theyre all grown adult fucking men and damn horror's like 30#dust and killer look more ready to fight and horror looks more like. authoritative???? idk but its a good look 4 then#i desillyfied them. i /srsed them. i got rid of all the fun and whimsy but its ok i guess. maybe these will be easier to draw at least#UGHHH now i have to memorize these designs. only downside.....#now they all dont look similar or like branches of eachother. idk how to feel about that#prior they were clearly all connected. like a precure team they had differences but the overall vibe was the same#does this mean i have to change the mst's outfits to fit with the mtt's now 😭😭 dont wanna!! i dont wanna redraw the mst!!!#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule art
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I miss the person I was a year ago. two years ago. more social. happier. doing more creatively.
#ya girl is just sad today#yelling into the void bc idk where else to yell#I was so much happier this time last year#even tho I have really good things in my life rn#I just think about like#April 2023 me :(#or!#fall 2020 me#she was living in constant covid anxiety sure#but she was also having the time of her life writing phinbella romance and sharing it with friends#now I haven’t updated that fic in nearly two years#and there’s friends I just don’t see much of anymore#which is no one’s fault that is just how life is#but it just aches#I just feel so sad#or 2021 me#she was posting so much art!!! literally living it up!!!!!!!#now well I mean#my newest pnf piece has gotten close to 500 likes on instagram which has never happened with my pnf art before#so that’s really cool#but I just#ugh#at least I have TTPD#I feel so disconnected from people which is the true reason I post art or fic or whatever#even tho I have lovely friends who I adore!!! they just feel far away#which isn’t anyone’s fault it’s just how life is and my own weird perception of the world#anyway#all this to say I do have a chfil chapter in the works still#maybe finishing that will heal me lmao#cadence rambles
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#we're all feeling so much and this may sound selfish but i need to vent#i feel a bit alone rn with all of this#i mean i always knew i was alone but this is just confirming it all to me#everyone in my life knows how much one direction and the boys mean to me#i dont hide from anyone at all#and most of my irl “friends” (dont even know if they can be called friends)#didnt even come to me to say something#and i know most of them saw the news#idk it just feels like it doesnt matter#and also my parents#they truly never cared aabout my likes#cant even properly name the boys even tho im always talking about them#my dad came into my room and saw me crying#and was all “what happened?” and my brother told him#he's only reaction was to say “really?” and the he left#didnt say a word to me at all#later my mom got home and i think my dad told her i was crying#so she came to my room and she at least showed a bit more interest#and asked me about it and who it was and everything#i was crying talking to her and she didnt even give me a hug#idk i felt alone again#i didnt really expect a hug from my dad but i did from my mom#and i got nothing#its like my feelings about anything matter#anyway sorry if its selfish#its just another thing making me feel sad on top of everything else#personal
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another thing I enjoy about asmos character is that we get hints about some of his past romantic relationships
Im sure the other brothers have engaged with others in the past but actually getting to read about it is interesting to me
#obey me asmodeus#i wanna learn everything about this character hah#it makes him feel more real the more info i get#also this info in particular makes sense for his type of character#being the avatar of lust and having so much love in his body#and ik it sounds weird cause#“ahh this is a self indulgent dating game we dont wanna hear about them being interested in others or having past lovers"#but i think it ENHANCES the importance of asmo falling for MC in the end (thats the whole point of “flirty” types tho)#also im nosy...im down to know!#trying to date changed my brain chemistry#me before would have not cared i think#anyways i refuse to believe none of the brothers other than asmo havent been interested in anyone other than mc#like only mc?#are u sure....#idk how to say it without sounding mean#but....thousands of years of existence and u never looked at anyone else other than mc?#no crushes even?#if they were aromantic it would make sense but they aren't cause mc (and even then people can experiment)#ik its fictional self indulgence but...it feels so unrealistic i cant take it seriously#when a character is only capable of falling in love with mc#and apparently NO ONE ELSE in the whole wide world#im already like “...hmmm naur” but now factor in that the character is not human and has been around for a very long time....#like theyve had to met so many people by now please be for real right now#well thats my spiel but i feel like i can keep rambling about this honestly
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this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh
#and i might do it again bc its just#a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc#which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow#it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag#people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just#so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what#like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao#and it never ever used to#but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly#or whatever the make believe rules are idk#this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus#bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community#and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit#bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were#i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year#but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad#once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care#ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control#i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile#and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be#a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion#so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao#why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just#ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand#so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time#but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd
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I love a good ship, and I can appreciate Fearne and Ashton as a dynamic. But, I will say I am a bit disappointed that Ashton would have a romantic arc in general. Like, seriously no hate to anyone and this is def nothing more than my opinion but I would've really enjoyed Ash as a character that wasn't ace or aro, but long-term monogamy is just not their thing yunno
#vio.txt#critical role#idk why it bothered me sm more w the last ep maybe it was fcg's whole thing about how true Enlightenment is finding your one true love#but everytime they were together there is a part of me filled w dread#either way tho its a fun dynamic beyond that so im not that miffed#i just felt like someone had to represent the opposite side of a ship that does seem to be very popular#also wondering if anyone else feels this or am i just being weird#callowmoore neg
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i literally can't think about life or the future for more than a few seconds without getting so distressed that i shut down. surely this is a good sign for things to come
#true about any aspect of those. personal life. local politics. world disasters etc#i can't focus on one and approach it first bc even that's already too much for me#i was genuinely truly literally not made to be alive. i am not built for this. i shouldn't have survived this long#i feel like an error in the book of fate. like i accidentally dodged the grim reaper for too long#there is too much of me inside my brain. if that makes sense. i am long overdue. etc etc#what is that even called is it still depression at this point 😭😭😭 it's like a whole new thing fr#seriously tho how the fuck does one even get over it. being in a state of mind like that means no therapist would even try working with me#(bc well if i don't think i should be alive how am i supposed to work to get better. esp when i don't see any reason to)#(kinda like a festering wound in a body part that should've been cut off ages ago)#everything feels pointless bc of how shitty the future will be no matter what. like there is truly no hope at all#this isn't pessimism it's just facts. there is no good ending here no matter what. unless you overhaul reality completely#vent#:/ i should probably try to sleep but i'm doing really bad#idk if i'll have nightmares or just a very sad dream like i had last night. i don't seem to have much else going on there in my brain#negative //#sorryyyyyy#i'd ask for help but idk what help to even ask for. what anyone could even offer. like there is no solution or a way to forget it#best i can do is distract myself all the time but that's really hard to do when a lot of what i have going on makes me feel bad too#. rambling in nonsensical ways atp sorry. brain is being mean and stupid
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it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy
#i follow this person cleo abrams on youtube and she's always talking so excitedly about scientists#and their amazing discoveries cool facts and she's so excited and starry eyed and hopeful#she genuinely just wants to educate people and has so much hope that we can make the world a better place#also like idk maybe unrelated but i saw the mv of new romantics and just. wow#say what you will about her but there's no doubt she's made an insane number of people happy SO HAPPY that they're crying#so many tours#idk i want#i wish my life was bigger#i feel so isolated and always just focusing on myself my career my health my enjoyment#what about everything everyone else#i keep trying to be completely okay with being alone i keep telling myself to not need anyone and be 100% independent#find happiness within hobbies interests#but it feels like a losing battle#i don't know i just. miss everyone 😭😭😭😭#but it hurts too much tbh always more sad than happy always more crying than laughing#i miss my bestfriend i don't know what i did wrong but she won't pick up my call she keeps saying she's busy#i don't want to be clingy because she hates that shit i don't want to drive her away but she's my only friend#i miss my fucking mom she doesn't care if i live or die obviously but i miss just having her presence in the house#and even tho my sister is here she's never fully present always on her laptop working#i wouldn't really say i miss my dad but wow it's been so long since mom and dad stayed together at home it was almost#always miserable but sometimes at the lunch table it was nice#i don't know everything and everyone is moving and changing so fast and i can't breathe under it and it's already september#but this entire year felt like a blur it's like everyone who left took a chunk of my heart with them#and i should be happy because im so close to the exam which will get me out of this house finally be financially independent#like i wanted since i was 11 i could finally start my life#but it all feels so. i don't know the whole future seems black like i can't imagine life past november 2025#how do you imagine happiness if you've never been happy?#and all these feelings are making it so hard to study and studying is so fucking important because if i don't ill be stuck here forever#and i don't want to go thru attempts fail and pass again atleast back then i had a reason first heartbreak‚ not getting to go to college#but what now why now i don't even understand i know objectively i do not have it that bad it's literally better even if i compare to my own
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having a moment about my gender rn and i'm just like ugggggh @ my brain do we have to. like can we just not
#i need to go to bed soon bc i have a 10am class tomorrow but shoutout to the identity crisis i've been having since at least feb 6th#idk if identity crisis is even the right word. bc like one thing about me is that i have a very solid sense of self#like i know who i am and what i want and how i move through the world and what it feels like to be me#but in terms of how i label and explain that to others? that's where the identity crisis comes in#but no one else gets to experience me in first person POV so the descriptors i use and they ways i present myself are reality to them#and tbh? as i think about how some of the descriptors i use for myself don't accurately describe me some people are getting mad???#which is so fucking bizarre bc like. what the fuck it's my gender why are YOU being offended???#but it's also making me low key be like ''wait am i a bad person now????''#even tho i don't believe morality works like that. idk it's just been an exhausting month and a half#if anyone wants to hear more in depth thoughts on all this i would love to vent about it#(but not rn bc i will be going to bed as soon as i get this all out)#but like what i will say now is even tho this past month and a half has been ROUGH (for several reasons especially gender)#and people might expect that me spending so much time with scott in february made it more exhausting#which is understandable we love scott but touring in general is tiring and also i am the most opinionated person i've ever met but so is he#and also like. if you've heard scott talk about gender it's very obvious we disagree on a lot of things and he doesn't shy away from that#but the thing is. i'd actually say spending so much time with scott (even when we talk about gender. even when we *argue* about gender)#was actually such a good thing for me throughout all of this bc even when we disagree on semantics of labels#scott actually sees me beyond that rather than reducing my identity to what i call myself#which is how a lot of well-meaning allys tend to treat me. like i'm just one thing.#so when i'm with scott i never really have to think about my gender#bc he doesn't treat me like i'm (insert whatever gender people treat me like). he just treats me like i'm jessamine#and i'm tired of having to explain myself into smaller pieces so people can pretend to get it#but i feel like there's no way not to do that in our society rn especially at my ''progressive'' liberal arts college
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Bro last night was so much......... I'm still reeling...... What even.... They gave us so much. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready. I didn't KNOW.
Hear me out... Poundmates Jo........ Not a party member but maybe helpful. Him looking soft has me so fucked up. Why is Akane alive. Why is she alive bro. Why does Jo know she alive. Why would he- FUCK dude I'm trying to work but all I can think about is 8
i hope we get poundmates jo and we have to do it pokemon style where we have to beat his ass and then catch him <- delusional
#snap chats#SOOOO many questions....#we were all right akane IS In Fact a bamf for slipping away from the yakuza#why do i feel like she's going to die tho. women dont last long in this franchise and if they do its a miracle#but idk no woman died in y7.... auspicious things me thinks...#please ichi cant lose anyone else. tho i am sus of jo's longevity if solely just because of ttm's career goals...#i mean if jo was willing to research arakawa its only logical he'd stumble upon akane and info about her so#jo's morality is weird. he was cool with putting a baby in a locker but the second he realizes the consequences he spends his life atoning#tho that kids gone now aint it.... guess he's trying to mend the damage he did to akane and ichi ??#or at the very least wants to try to make up for the fact ichi didnt get to be raised by arakawa because of his dumbass#idk i dont know how his brain works we'll just have to see !!!!
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#GOD. how do i even begin#this crush is TESTING ME. REALLY TESTING ME#i feel like this is gonna be a Lesson of some sort oml#he's the most difficult guy ive ever met. like not in a bad way but JFJJRJDKDKDKDKDK#GOD HE CHALLENGES ME. I JUST.......... HHHHHHHHH#i ... i wouldnt want it any other way tho NDJDJDJDJDJDKDM#hhhhh it is nice to know tho. that like we are friends n hes gonna be in my life#like god that is so WEIRD#out of everybody i met at school... never imagined id be this close to him. like closer to him than anyone else even. its soooo weird...#along for the ride tho i guess JFJDJJDJDJDJDJ#personal#hes so.... idek how to explain this. hes SO straightforward. but he can be sweet too??????? like not in an obvious way but like. idk !!!!!!!#everyone's always like... god hes such a nice guy#n im just like. ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME GUY??????#like ya hes nice. i wouldnt be friends with him otherwise but OH IS HE PRICKLY.#THATS THE WORD. PRICKLY. GOD. I NEVER KNOW WHAT HES GONNA SAY HHHHHHH#n e way. im seein my friends on the weekend n theyre gonna want details n im like how do i explain that simultaneously i like him and#that also i think he was created to piss me off. be my NEMESIS????????#hhhh simple romance goodbye i guess. it was never meant for me JDJFJJFJFJFJDJDJ
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I was going to post this a long time ago during the pandemic cause a lot of idols were just going on vlive and doing silly lil fun things and never did but I want something happy on my blog. I want something of Moonbin I can look at without crying so I want to post this lil video.
I think they were making chocolate and sanha just starts screaming and I thought it was really funny and chaotic.
I feel dumb to post stuff idk I don’t feel like talking or posting anything cause I keep seeing stuff on Moonbin and it just sucks. It sucks I keep thinking about Sua and how hurt she must be and for all of moonbin’s family I hate it so much it’s just not fair. I know everyone grieves and handles loss differently I’ve seen a lot of things like people still post to their social media and some of the artists I follow are releasing new music and all I can think about is how can you continue on after something like this but not everyone knows or cares and just because something like music gets put out even if the artist knows or heard doesn’t mean they don’t care. Idk. Anyway have this happy video and I hope it’ll make me smile or anyone else maybe idk
#i havent cried at work in a long time but I did last night#idk if it was specifically over Moonbin or not but it just happened#I guess I got a song stuck in my head and it made me think of him and it just happened#then I saw something today about him but it was only speculation#it still hurt to see tho#I wanted to write cause I thought it might help me cope but idk how anyone else would take it#I have a lot of thoughts rn and idk how to put them into words#I just feel like screaming and crying#astro#moonbin#astro moonbin
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#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals#and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away#from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird#ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas#there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil#lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit#like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside#all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶#maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha#ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i#dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January#so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes#just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im#afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see#me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over#im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol#i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful#unrelated
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