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hornime · 4 years ago

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watch and learn | iwaizumi hajime x f!reader x team japan

there were two things they all had in common: the growing bulges in their pants that they were urgently trying to distract themselves from, and the fact that their full attention was on you.

warnings: 18+, timeskip!everyone, BIG MANGA SPOILERS BASICALLY, exhibitionism, voyeurism, orgasm denial

w/c: 3.1k

a/n: now i don’t know if iwaizumi hajime (27) athletic trainer learned about female orgasms when he was studying sports science at irvine BUT he def knows how to show a girl a good time which is reason enough for me to write this. also, i read this article to prep for this piece and it was super enlightening, so i do recommend giving it a read if you’re interested!

in the middle of his morning run, iwaizumi slowed momentarily to check the repetitive buzzing of this phone, curious as to who was messaging him this early. when he’d left the apartment, you were sleeping, and you had the tendency to still be sleeping by the time he returned, so who else could it be?

he unlocked his phone, quickly finding the source of the notifications: the team japan group chat.

[06:43 AM] miya: hey @iwaizumi—you know stuff abt the human body right?

[06:43 AM] miya: cus like you studied it in college and shit??

iwaizumi rolled his eyes. i spent four years in america to earn my degree, came back home to support my country’s olympic team, and dealt with the biggest idiots of volleyball, only to get treated like this?

[06:44 AM] iwaizumi: yes, miya. i took many courses on the human body. in fact that’s the purpose of my job. to know the human body. because i am a fucking athletic trainer.

[06:44 AM] miya: okay okay i get it. dumb question

[06:44 AM] iwaizumi: why? is something up? you need help or anything?

[06:44 AM] miya: uhhh kinda

[06:44 AM] miya: @hinata i’m not fucking asking this

[06:44 AM] bokuto: bro just do it

[06:44 AM] miya: @hinata @hinata @hinata

iwaizumi cocked an eyebrow. what the hell are they going on about?

[06:45 AM] iwaizumi: so am i needed or...

[06:45 AM] hinata: YES

[06:45 AM] hinata: we had a question

[06:46 AM] sakusa: by “we” he means him, miya, and bokuto

[06:46 AM] suna: yeah don’t bring us into this

[06:46 AM] hinata: don’t listen to them! both suna and sakusa wanna know too

[06:46 AM] iwaizumi: okay. what’s up

[06:47 AM] hinata: we wanted to know how to make a girl cum

he chuckled in disbelief.

[06:47 AM] iwaizumi: you’re telling me that you guys are in your mid-20s, literal olympic athletes, and you don’t know how to make a girl cum

[06:47 AM] iwaizumi: have you never done it before??

[06:47 AM] miya: NO

[06:47 AM] miya: FOR THE RECORD IVE MADE MANY GIRLS CUM

[06:48 AM] bokuto: ME TOO

[06:48 AM] bokuto: i think

he laughed out loud, briefly startling another runner on the sidewalk.

[06:48 AM] iwaizumi: you guys are unbelievable

[06:48 AM] hinata: i mean she says she finished but idk what i did to make that happen

[06:48 AM] bokuto: ^^

[06:48 AM] hinata: so like i wanna know how to actually do it

[06:48 AM] suna: actually im kinda interested in this too

[06:48 AM] aran: i pray for your future girlfriends. this is painful to see. im out

[06:48 AM] kageyama: i’m with aran on this one. you guys are dumb

[06:48 AM] hinata: shut up. you suck.

[06:48 AM] miya: cmon iwaizumi, help a guy out

[06:48 AM] sakusa: it wouldnt hurt for you to give us some pointers at least

iwaizumi sighed.

[06:49 AM] iwaizumi: @miya @hinata @bokuto @suna @sakusa meet in the locker room after practice. ill give you guys a lesson in the art of pleasing a woman

to teach effectively, he needed a volunteer, though he was sure you wouldn’t need much convincing. you’d always loved the attention, and the biceps, of the pro athletes. he spun on his heel and jogged home.

you woke up to the sound of your apartment door opening, your boyfriend creeping inside, forehead damp with sweat.

“hey,” you said quietly, making your way towards him.

“hey, baby. sorry for waking you up, i was trying to be quiet.”

you giggled sleepily. “s’okay, haji. you spoil me too much anyway, always letting me sleep in for hours while you’re off doing god knows what.”

at that, his eyes crinkled in amusement, and as you tried to step into a hug, he shuffled back. “woah there, baby. i gotta shower, ‘m all gross from my run. and then,” he gave you a peculiar look that you couldn’t quite place, “i got a proposition for you.”

after his shower, he waltzed out of the bathroom, steam wafting out from behind the door. his tanned body made you feel things you definitely shouldn’t be barely an hour after the sun’s risen, and you reached out to massage the tension in his shoulders. “so, what’s your proposition?”

“well,” he hesitated. “it’s a bit... unconventional. the team asked me to show them how to make a girl cum,” he took in your intrigued expression. “and it’d be a lot easier to explain if i had someone to do a live demonstration with. so,” his eyes flicked up to you. “that’s where you’d come in.”

“a... live demonstration? like you’re gonna make me cum in front of them?”

“yeah, essentially.” he gave you a devilish grin. “you want that, baby? wanna show those boys how a real man treats a gorgeous woman like you?”

you rubbed your thighs at his words. “yeah,” you purred. “i do. wanna show them how good you are to me.”

and that’s how you found yourself nestled between iwaizumi’s muscled thighs, back pressed against his chest, completely naked, with five of japan’s best volleyball players staring at your body in awe.

practically an expert in his field, iwaizumi knew the human body inside and out. this had many benefits; of course it allowed him to catapult up the ranks and work with the country’s best athletes to keep them at the top of their game, but it also had a unique side effect: an overwhelming vault of knowledge on how to make a woman feel good anywhere.

you’d seen the proof firsthand; he knew exactly where to push, prod, stroke, and tease to have you cumming in seconds, over and over, as many times as you wanted. he was amazing, and you were well-aware just how lucky you were to have such a talented man in the sheets.

“oi,” iwaizumi snapped his fingers, drawing each of the players’ eyes away from your glistening cunt. “pay attention. i know more than anybody that she’s hot as fuck, but you gotta listen to what i’m saying or else there’s no point to this.”

he lightly pressed his lips against your collarbone, slowly tracing them against your jaw, the contact making you squirm. “if you wanna make a girl cum, first thing you gotta do is make her comfortable. if she’s worried about how she looks or sounds or smells she’s gonna be too stressed to let go.” he moved his hands to grope your tits, his calloused fingers brushing over your hardening nipples. “so reassure her, tell her how irresistible she is, how pretty her moans are, how tasty her pussy is. shit like that. the sexier she feels the better it’ll be.”

he leaned into you, whispering into your ear. “feeling good, baby? we can stop whenever.”

you nodded weakly, afraid to open your mouth, barely holding in your whines as his palms worked wonders on your chest and stomach, sending shocks of heat wherever they touched.

you craned your neck up to observe the men before you. atsumu was flushed red, wringing his hands as if he was worried they’d do something embarrassing if he didn’t keep them occupied. hinata was bouncing his leg up and down, wiping his palms on his shorts as he took in the plushness of your thighs. bokuto was basically drooling, greedily tracing your soft curves with his eyes. suna maintained his indifferent expression, but the reddening tips of his ears showed that he was a lot more hot and bothered than he let on. sakusa stood quietly to the side, leaning against the wall, mask tucked under his chin as if he’d just realized how much the temperature had gone up in the room.

there were two things they all had in common: the growing bulges in their pants that they were urgently trying to distract themselves from, and the fact that their full attention was on you.

"make sure to try different things; there’s multiple ways to make a woman cum. only like a quarter of women experience orgasms just from penetration,” someone made a sound of shock. “yes, the number is that small, bokuto.”

his fingertip slowly trailed past your belly button, dipping into the mess between your thighs, causing you to slightly arch your back into the solid chest supporting you. “foreplay with the clit is your best bet; even stupid fucks like you probably wouldn’t screw it up too bad.”

hinata opened his mouth to speak, but iwaizumi anticipated his question and continued.

“i know you’re wondering where the clit is. it’s around here, under this hood of skin,” he slid his digit between your labia. “s’not gonna come with a label so you gotta explore a little bit. i know where hers is like the back of my hand, but for you guys, with your girls, you’re gonna have to move your fingers around. slowly. and pay attention to her expressions.” he began to rub in a circular motion around your clit, causing you to make small whimpers of pleasure and shift your hips to meet his movements.

“if she clenches up or twitches when you feel a certain spot, like this,” your legs flexed as he increased the pressure, “that’s the clit. be kind, it’s not a volleyball. be gentle n’ make small circles, whether it’s with your fingers or your tongue.”

he thought for a second. “speaking of which, oral’s important. very important. most women cum when they’ve been eaten out, so use your mouths for something more useful than just dirty talk. suck on the clit, maybe tongue-fuck her a ‘lil, but your main focus should always be the clit.”

he removed his hands from your sopping pussy, and you made a pathetic noise of frustration. “’m sorry, baby,” he muttered seductively in your ear. “don’t wanna have you finishing too early. lesson’s barely started.”

he turned his attention back to your audience, his lustful tone being replaced by a more instructional one. “there’s other places that’ll help a woman orgasm, too: her nipples, her neck, her ears—”

“her ears?” sakusa questioned. he blushed profusely as everyone turned to look at him, surprised that he’d opened his mouth. “what? we were all thinking it.”

“s’a valid question,” iwaizumi said. “yeah, you can lick ‘em if they’re sensitive. hers are.” as if to prove his statement, he licked a stripe on the shell of you ear, making you wiggle helplessly at the stimulation. “‘n leave kisses everywhere else. feels good for them just like it does for us.” he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him and forcing your movements to stop as he traced patterns with his tongue all around your neck.

“something you should know about an orgasm is that it’s something called a positive feedback loop.” he looked up and was met with five blank stares. shouldn’t have expected anything from these dumb jocks, he lamented. “basically that means that, once you start releasing sexual tension, things will feel better and better until you climax.”

“oh!” atsumu chirped. “like how my sets get better and better throughout a game.”

“no, not really,” he quipped. “your sets suck throughout.” atsumu frowned at that.

iwaizumi exhaled exasperatedly. “the general idea is that the body gets more and more sensitive, muscle contractions become more and more frequent, and touches feel more and more stimulating until you cum. all right?”

they all made noises of understanding except for bokuto and hinata, whose eyes had glazed over at the first mention of an academic term. whatever, iwaizumi thought. they’ll get it through example.

"don’t worry about it too much if you don’t get it, that’s just an orgasm on paper. in practice, though, this is the crucial step: listen to her. she knows what feels good. never forget that you’re just an idiot with a cock.” he took a breath, gathering his thoughts before proceeding with his lecture.

“if she tells you to slow down, you slow down. if she tells you to go harder, you go harder. if she tells you to keep doing what you’re doing, you...”

“keep doing what you’re doing”, they all chimed in at staggered times.

“that’s right. don’t go faster or else you’ll mess up the rhythm and she won’t cum. and you wanna make her cum, don’t you?”

they nodded simultaneously.

“so if you keep up the tempo and force that feels good to her, you’ll be fine. questions?”

suna spoke up. “what about,” he choked on the word. “penetration?”

hinata hummed in agreement and bokuto jumped in. “yeah, what if i wanna make her cum on my cock?”

iwaizumi made a weird face. “that’s some pretty advanced stuff, but i guess i can go over it. when you try it, though, you have to be patient. with both of your bodies. s’not rocket science but s’not always easy. also it depends on the woman but sometimes she physically won’t be able to finish from penetration alone. just make sure you’re communicating.”

his swirled two fingers over your hole before shoving them in, your wetness making it easy for him to thrust in and out as your entrance stretched to accommodate him. “f—fuck!” your eyes flew open at the intrusion and you body lurched forward, but you were held back by his strong forearm. “ohmygod, oh my g—ah! feels s’good haji, s’good!”

“i know, baby, i know. you’re taking it so well.” he turned his attention back to the men, each of who were gulping heavily. if that didn’t signal to you that they were evidently affected by your moans, the way they shifted in their workout shorts did.

“boys, focus.” he curled his fingertips, brushing at the spongy spot at the top of your walls, ripping a pleasured wail from your throat and causing tears to prick at your eyelashes. “when you’re fingering her, you’ll feel an area inside that’s a bit soft and squishy. that’s the g-spot.”

you trembled in his arms as he mercilessly struck the same place over and over again with his fingers. “when you’re fucking her, try to keep the pressure building there, but it’ll be harder to make her finish since you can’t see what you’re doing.”

your breath hitched as iwaizumi’s incessant movements brought your body tantalizingly close to your release. he suddenly stopped and you almost sobbed in disappointment, until he plunged his fingers impossibly deeper.

a guttural scream of ecstasy came from within you, and your eyes rolled back as he began playing with another part of you, your body putty in his hands. “hngh, haji, ah! so good, s’good...” you threw your hands back around his neck, nails digging into the skin as you desperately tried to keep yourself grounded. your soft moans filled the air.

“stop clenching,” he hissed. “can barely move my hand.” you tried to relax but failed miserably as the tips of his fingers grazed your cervix.

“holy fuck,” suna muttered. “you’re a god.”

“she sounds so pretty,” atsumu said in amazement.

“i wanna make a girl feel good like that, too!” bokuto sulked.

“you can do it, bokuto!” hinata hit him on the arm. “just listen to iwaizumi. clearly he knows what he’s talking about.”

their eyes refocused on your figure, writhing in pleasure, prompting white hot waves of arousal to pool in their stomachs.

“yeah,” sakusa said. “clearly.”

“stop talking,” iwaizumi ordered. “and listen. beyond the g-spot is the cervix, which is basically the end of the vagina. if you’re long enough,” he briefly scanned each of their faces, “which i’m sure you are, you’ll be able to reach it if you bottom out.”

“haji—hajime, please.” the stimulation was coming absolutely unbearable, and you could tell he was sadistically holding you at the edge, refusing to give you the satisfaction of finishing. “lemme cum, please. please lemme cum, please, please, i can’t—i can’t take it ‘nymore!”

“what was that? you can’t take it anymore? gonna cum?” you helplessly bobbed your head up and down, hoping that he’d give you permission. “well,” he growled, “we can’t have that happening, can we?”

he abruptly halted his thrusts, pulling his fingers out of you with an embarrassing squelch and popping them into his mouth. pearly tears rolled down your cheeks as you grieved the loss of contact and relief.

your viewers looked on in horror, feeling immense sympathy for you; you just looked so dejected from being denied yet another orgasm.

“why didn’t you—why didn’t you let her cum?” bokuto asked.

“why do you think?” iwaizumi snapped. “don’t want you guys to see her when she does. that’s for me, and only me.”

“oh, okay,” he responded, disgruntlement clear in his voice.

iwaizumi’s glare could cut glass, it was so sharp. the possessiveness that had enveloped his mind made him hyperfocus on just one thought: being alone with you. “so, any other questions? if not, we’re done here.”

you pouted at that, not wanting the demonstration to be over. “but haji,” you mumbled into his collarbone. “i di’nt get to cum. and i wanna.” you looked up at him, eyes wide with want. “please make me cum.”

iwaizumi sent a harsh glance to the players that nonverbally communicated his message loud and clear: get out. they shuffled awkwardly out of the locker room due to the hardness between their legs that they would most definitely need to deal with soon.

your boyfriend turned his attention back to you. “’m sorry, i know i had to deny you a bunch of times. i just really hated the idea of anyone but me seeing the cute way you look when you cum.”

you made a small noise of acknowledgement and a little whisper of it’s okay, haji. he looked down, sensing the way your poor, desperate cunt was pulsing around nothing, the erotic sight injecting him with the pure need to ravage you.

he shifted his head to kiss you passionately. “why don’t i make it up to you?” he breathed between your parted lips before picking you up by the backs of your thighs, forcing you to lock your ankles around his waist.

he delicately situated you onto one of the recovery beds at the back of the room, before murmuring something that made your pussy throb in anticipation: “i’ll make you cum whichever way you want, however many times you want, all right? all you gotta do is lay back and take it.”

#kinky.inky #haikyū!!#haikyuu smut #hq smut #haikyuu iwaizumi #iwaizumi smut #iwaizumi x reader #atsumu smut #hinata smut #bokuto smut #suna smut #sakusa smut #iwaizumi #sakusa #bokuto #hinata #suna #atsumu

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lilliths-not-just-httyd-blog · 2 years ago

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vent under cut

sometimes i hate relying on new works as a source of sustenance (like food or drink). like the lack of things to go "hehehehehehe" over can cause me to get a little depressed from lack of stimulants. works that ive seen before don't have the same affect on me (maybe due to the oversaturated culture of today warping my brain but whatever) and works i make myself don't do that either. something i make doesn't have the same flavour as something someone else makes, there's different spices in our spice racks.

and trust me the last thing I'd want is to be a whiny bitch begging for "content" like people like that can fuck off. I'd rather train my brain to not rely on The New™ and be happy with the older, less shiny works. because im aware the oversaturation and fast paced "content" cycle online is ruining peoples brains.

but at the same time, fuck shit can get stale. i rarely ever read my favourite fanfiction anymore because i can quote it word for word at some points. also i dont have the energy to read. deadass wish i could overcome my damn readers block so i could reread shit I haven't read in a while (the refresh has a similair affect to The New™). hyperfixations are fun but when you're in a "content" drought* it can be exhausting. ESPECIALLY when all of that is paired with creative blocks which mean i can't create my own shit. like all of this is caused by my dumb ass being depressed basically.

you know i can't even think of asks to send people? i can't think of shit to post? i want to supply you all with my thoughts but i ain't got nothing to share and it's stressing me out. ive been tempted to sit down and just make a few meme templates because that's easy and makes y'all smile but that niche seems to be saturated enough and i don't want to seem like a copycat

I've had sporadic bursts of motivation to write but not any of my main fics. stupid little plays on popular tropes where a light fury is the mc and it's like hidden world but better and just. frivolous sue nonsense which is really fun (i love frivolous sue nonsense it's so therapeutic) but i end up putting it down five minutes later because i can't think of anything to actually write.

basically i can't make anything right now and nobody else seems to want to make stuff right now which fair honestly same. and it's put me in a bit of a slump from understimulation.

#cw: vent #tw: vent #understimulated

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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years ago

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SAFE AND SOUND

a/n: this one took a little longer to write, but im so happy its finally finished! its not what i originally planned, i started a whole different plot but hated it so started again, but i might go back to the first story, so maybe more bodyguard!harry content is gonna come! anyway, hope you’ll enjoy this one!

pairing: Bodyguard!Harry X Reader

warning: use of weapon (no one dies), mentioning of cancer (no one is sick), sexual content

word count: 9.1k

masterlist

“This is not up for discussion, Y/N. What you are doing and what you are about to achieve soon might upset a lot of people that hold great power. We can’t just assume you’ll be fine, walking around like anyone else in the world.”

Your boss, Julian explains it to you, leaning onto his desk, trying his best to keep his cool about your protest to get you a guard to watch out for you and keep you safe. It’s been an ongoing struggle and fight you two have been having these past weeks and it became a burning situation since you’ve made some major progress in your project.

“I’m not some kind of royalty to have security with me all the time,” you grumble rolling your eyes.

“Not just royalties have guards, Y/N. Just accept it, that you’re valuable, your work is very important not just to our company but to the whole world. Do you not realize how big it is? You are close to having the cure to cancer, Y/N! You can easily get a Nobel-prize for that!”

“I know that it’s important, but no one knows me, no one will see me on the street and know who I am or what I do!”

“It’s not about the people on the street. The world is a dark place, darker than you could imagine. Please, just… I want to know that you’re safe.”

Staring back at him with your arms folded on your chest you contemplate his words. You can see the rationality in his words, it’s just that you don’t want to break your routine, you don’t want people around you all the time, you don’t want to end your privacy like that. But Julian is right, your work is important and there have already been a few attempts to steal your researches, but they miserably failed. However that doesn’t mean they will be stopped the next time as well.

“One guard,” you speak up. “Just one. I’m not gonna have a whole fucking team,” you tell him raising your eyebrows. He lets out a relieved sigh, a tiny smile tugging on his lips.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Reaching out to the phone he presses the buzzer that signals to his assistant, Monica outside and a few moments later she walks in, accompanied with a tall, suited man, his green eyes immediately falling to you upon entering the room.

“Y/N, I took the courage to pick him out for you myself. This is Harry Styles, the best you can find in the city if not in the country,” Julian introduces him as he pushes himself away from his giant mahogany desk, walking closer to the man as they shake hands firmly. You stand up from the armchair you’ve been sinking into these past ten minutes and unsurely hold out your hand to the man.

“Harry Styles, pleasure to meet you,” he introduces himself, a thick British accent lacing through his voice and the way his green irises stare back at you, you can feel your heart fluttering in your chest. Mr. Styles is undeniably the most charming and handsome man you’ve ever met, with his perfectly carved cheekbones and chiseled jawline, pink lips and those enchanting green eyes framed by his thick lashes. There’s something in his appearance, something feminine, but still, he holds so much masculinity at the same time, it’s hard not to be enamored by him.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you mumble your name, shaking his hand slightly before letting go of it.

“Details about your cooperation have already been discussed with the security agency and us, but of course, your word is what counts, so we’ll walk over the whole plan with you as well,” Julian explains to you and you nod shortly.

The three of you move to the conference room and the next hour goes by with working those so called details out, some of them are ridiculous, some of them you can get used to, at the end you are left with a somewhat bearable plan, but one thing is for sure. Harry Styles will be a big part of your life from now on.

THREE MONTHS LATER

The tiny pack of sugar tears open in your hands, but you put too much effort into it so the countertop is now covered with the content of the pack instead of ending up in your paper cup.

“Fuck,” you growl, dumping the empty pack into the trash before grabbing another one, hoping it won’t end up the same way.

“Let me help you,” a smooth, male voice speaks up next to you and Harry grabs the pack from your hands as he places his own coffee to the counter. You let him tear the pack open easily, pouring the sugar into your drink without problem before he puts the lid back to your cup.

“Thank you,” you mumble, closing your tired eyes for a split second. You’ve been overworking way too much these past weeks, it’s starting to shut your system down, but you don’t want to rest, not when you’re so close to finishing your project.

The past two weeks have been major, you finally made the progress you’ve been working towards for months now, letting you step into the last phase of your work finally. But it’s been a quite stressful time as you’ve been eager to finish as soon as possible, but that meant little to no time spent outside of your lab.

Harry shoots you a reassuring smile before you both grab your drinks and head out of the café in the direction of your workplace.

The past three months were one hell of a ride when it comes to Harry. You didn’t hide your dislike towards his continuous presence in your life, standing by your side wherever you went. It frustrated you, made you feel like you didn’t have your freedom any longer even though he never did anything to make you hate him. He was considerate, respectful and only wanted to do his job, yet you still gave him a hard time at the beginning, right until the need for his work was proved.

Two months ago someone broke into your apartment while you were out, they searched through the whole place, looking for something. Well, not just something, they were clearly interested in anything connected to your research, but luckily, you’re not dumb enough to just let these stuff lay around your home.

Even though you didn’t encounter the person responsible for it, the incident still shook your up. Knowing that someone could get into your personal space so easily, that they could have come at a time when you were home and vulnerable, it scared you. Harry was the person that eased the worry and fear in you, he took care of everything in an instant and upon his best advice, you moved to a new apartment with a higher security level. He even moved to the place next to yours so he could be as close to you as possible at all times. There was a much needed shift in your relationship after that and you didn’t see him as an intruder any longer in your life, but more as a hero.

“So would you like Italian or Mexican tonight for dinner?” Harry asks as the two of you enter the building, using your IDs you go through the massive security gates, the guards in post nodding in your way.

“Isn’t it your night to choose?” you smile at him sideways as you wait for the elevator.

“Okay, then Thai,” he smirks, making you laugh. “Hope you are not planning on eating it here again,” he gives you a warning look and you purse your lips.

“I have a lot to do, and—“

“Y/N, you need to rest sometimes,” he scolds you as if you were just a child.

“I do rest. Sometimes,” you answer with an innocent look as the elevator’s door slides open and you walk in with Harry following you right behind.

“Like once a week? Do you even sleep when you’re at home?”

“I do! Don’t make me look like I’m some kind of crazy workaholic!”

“I’m just worried about you, is all,” he sighs, giving you a hard look.

“Oh, Mr. Styles. If I didn’t know you better I would think you might have a soft spot for me,” you smirk at him teasingly before the elevator arrives to your floor and you walk out without a word. Harry just stares after you with a small smile tugging on his lips as he thinks about your words. It’s funny, especially because you both know something more than just a professional relationship has been going on between the two of you, only dancing around it as the situation is a little too complicated to address now.

It’s not like any rules are tying you down, but you would rather not mix up work with your private life. You might have feelings for Harry, but you refuse to act up on them until he is out of his duty as your personal guard.

Your days are usually the same. While you lock yourself up in your lab, working with no end, Harry stay either with you in there or he hovers around the door, keeping an eye on everyone and everything. Just the thought of his presence never fails to bring you a sense of comfort, knowing that you don’t have to worry about your safety until he is near. It might seem nerdy, but you can easily get lost in your work. It doesn’t feel like a job, growing up with parents who were excellent doctors and pharmacists themselves, you were doomed to be a science enthusiast yourself from the beginning. Learning has never been a task for you but a gift, as you liked to look at it.

Working overtime happens often because you lose touch with time easily once you get down to work. Nothing exists outside of your lab and you hardly realize how late it is until Harry usually warns you.

“I didn’t joke when I said I didn’t want to have dinner in here,” he steps into your sanctuary while you’re in the middle of running tests for the millionth time today. Pushing your glasses up to the top of your head while the machines are buzzing and whirling, you look up at him with a tired smile.

“Let me just… finish this one last test and then I promise we’ll head out.”

“Alright, but I’m watching you. No more tests,” he warns, sitting on one of the stools while you finish what you started.

Harry never really asked you about your work, for a while you weren’t even sure if he knows what you’re doing and why it’s so important. It was never discussed at the beginning and he never brought it up later either. But judging from the time he spends near you at the lab he must have picked up a few things about it surely.

The machines stop working and the tiny beeping sound signals that the results are out. You grab the long printed paper and start scanning the data, chewing on your bottom lip as you hope to find what you’ve been looking for all day. The numbers are coming in great, but it’s been like this for a while, it’s the end that never matches up with your expectations. So when you get there and see the graphs showing the result that you’ve been dreaming of since the start of the whole project years ago, your mouth falls open in disbelief even though it’s what you’ve been working for all this time.

“Oh my God,” you whisper.

“What?” Harry’s head snaps up in alert, jumping off the stool.

“I… I did it,” you breathe out, glancing up from the paper. “It’s my first time succeeding, Harry!” you start laughing, the shock taking over your whole body that you really did it this time.

“And what does that mean?”

“Come on, let me show you,” you tell him in excitement, pulling him over to the computer where you pull up all the data you’ve been working on. A virtual version of a cell comes up on the screen as you start typing, modelling what you want to show him. “This is a completely healthy cell, it’s what you are made of too, mostly,” you ass with a chuckle before another cell comes up on the screen. “And this is what cells that are affected by cancer look like.”

The difference is a lot more complicated than what you can explain to him in such a short time, but he can see it with his own eyes. The color, the shape, everything is different from the first one. Harry examines the screen and nods shortly, letting you know that he is following.

“I’ve been working on a substance that is able to not just detect the cancerous cells but it can also kill it effectively without hurting the healthy ones.”

You bring up the virtualized version of the substance you’ve been working on, a short animation showing how it can tell the two cells apart and only attack the cancerous one.

“I haven’t been able to get the numbers above 60% when it comes to succeeding in the process of selection so my whole project was about finding a solution to that. I’ve been trying to find the right substance to mix with our already existing one to solve the problem, but I haven’t been successful in it.”

“I assume until now,” Harry hum and you nod smirking.

“Yeah. The last test results came back very good, quite promising. It’s still not the end of the process, but it’s a huge step.”

“That’s great,” he smiles at you and though you know he probably understands just a fracture of the whole process, he can still figure out how important it is. “Congrats, Y/N.” “Thanks,” you breathe out, pride filling your chest as you shut the computer off. “I guess this is my cue to end the day,” you smile at him before packing up everything, getting ready to finally leave.

It’s not the first time Harry is spending the evening at your place. You often have dinner together, or watch a movie whenever you get home early enough to do that. Through the time you’ve spent together because of his job you’ve grown to be friends above everything. Good ones, in fact, which is a big deal for you since making friends has never been an easy task for you.

You bought takeout on the way home and as Harry set the table you poured yourself a glass of wine, knowing well Harry would never drink when he is on duty and he is basically working all the time he is with you, so you’re drinking alone. You both sit to the dining table, starting dinner together in a comfortable silence. It’s another thing you appreciate about Harry. He doesn’t try to talk when it’s not necessary, you hate small talk, you’d rather sit in silence than talk about something nonsense and Harry is a partner in that.

“When do you need to leave work tomorrow to get to the party on time?” he asks breaking the silence and you freeze. His eyes fall on you, examining your features for a moment before he smirks. “You forgot about it?”

“I just… thought it’s going to be next week,” you truthfully admit.

“We talked about it last week,” he smirks at you playfully. “And I told you it would be next week which is… this week.”

“I know how the days work, Harry,” you give him a look of ‘give me a break’ before you turn back to your food. “I just…”

“You just forgot it,” Harry finishes for you, and you just roll your eyes at him.

Glancing at him over the table you wonder if he’ll wear something different than is usual attire he always wears. Black suit with a white shirt underneath, the top two buttons left undone, giving you a tiny peek at the tattoos on his chest. You know those are not the only ones, you’ve seen him with the suit jacket off before, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, his whole left arm is covered in ink and you wish you’ve had the chance to take a better look at them.

Harry is such an intriguing person in a lot of different ways. He definitely likes to keep things to himself, not one to ask for attention and it’s not just because of his work, it’s his personality. However he is good with people, interacting with them, being social. A skill you haven’t really mastered yourself yet and you probably never will. He always seems to know what to say, you’ve never seen him even the slightest bit anxious or nervous before, the confidence he holds is unmatched and it makes it hard to not think about him in ways you shouldn’t be.

After dinner he helps you clean up, just like he always does before heading out, but before he could leave he stops and turns back to face you.

“Oh, a friend of mine is visiting from the UK on Sunday. I already mentioned it to you before, but I was hoping I could get the afternoon off,” he wonders and you nod right away.

“Of course! I’ll be just fine at home,” you smile at him.

“Thank you,” he smiles back before walking out of your place at last.

Because of the party in the evening you are forced to stop working early the next day. It’s weird to leave the office in broad daylight, but you know today can’t be one of those days when you end up seeing the new day in the lab.

Harry was right yesterday, you completely forgot the whole party thing, meaning you didn’t plan anything ahead and you had nothing to wear, so through the day you called your sister, Mara to help you out. She was more than happy to lend you anything you needed. She meets you at the office, beaming to spend some time with you finally. It’s not that you don’t like her company, but you are quite different, is all. Your sister didn’t get sucked into the world of science, though she definitely has the bright mind to take up on any field she would want to explore. But she was more into the world of art, having written her first fantasy novel at the ripe age of twenty, she is now a bestseller author at only twenty-nine with a bubbly personality and basically every trait you never owned yourself.

“Harry! So nice to see you again!” Mara beams at the man as the three of you meet up at the lobby.

“Hi, Mara,” Harry smiles with a tiny nod.

“Alright, I have everything you could need so let’s head to yours!” your sister cheers before you make your way out to your cars.

Arriving to your home Harry splits from the two of you, letting you to get ready in peace and also to get ready himself. Mara didn’t joke when she said she has everything you need, the trunk of her car is basically filled with clothes and shoes, there’s no chance you won’t find something to wear tonight.

She orders you to take a quick shower as she unpacks everything she brought and when you emit from a cloud of steam with a towel wrapped around your body and one on your head, Mara gets down to work.

“So do you have a date for today?” she curiously asks while she does your makeup.

“Huh, yeah, sure,” you huff ironically. “It’s just gonna be Harry and me.”

“So Harry is your date?” her ears perk up, but you’re quick to protest.

“Of course not! He comes with me everywhere,” you mumble with your eyes closed as she is doing something on your eyelids.

“But it could be a date,” she offers and you huff in disagreement.

“You know that’s not how it works, Mara.”

“You are making it more complicated than it is! No one would blame you if you just… went for it! Harry is obviously an attractive guy.”

“Then maybe you should date him,” you bite back bitterly. Growing up you weren’t the boys’ favorite, they always paid all the attention to your sister. It’s not that you blame her or them, she always had a more capturing and lively personality that attracted people naturally. But it made you wonder if there was something wrong with you, spending all your time with your nose buried in a book or doing researches for fun while Mara was out with her friends, living her best life. Even her published books were inspired by her personal life experiences.

“Y/N,” she sighs, her hands leaving your face so you open your eyes to look at her disapproving expression. “You obviously like him so I would never do that and besides that, he for sure likes you too.”

“What’s not true,” you deny right away, but then you look at her curiously. “But why would you think that?”

Mara smirks at you tilting her head to the side, seeing right through your act that you’re not interested in Harry. Of course you are, but you choose to keep it at bay for the sake of his job.

“Y/N, I see how that man watches every move you make. It’s written all over his handsome face.”

“Of course he watches my every move, that’s his job!”

“No, it’s different. You’ll see it sooner or later,” she smiles before ordering you to close your eyes again so she can finish your makeup.

Mara does wonders to your looks, the makeup look she does on you already makes a huge difference since you don’t bother to do anything on your every days. But she didn’t stop there, she made your hair look like you just stepped off of the pages of a magazine and the dress the two of you chose was the cherry on the top. The emerald green dress was tight around your curves, showing just enough of your body to be still considered modest, but also have some spice. And though there are a lot of advantages of the dress, your first and most important thought (to you at least) was how well it goes with the color of Harry’s eyes.

“I’m a genius,” Mara sighs satisfied with her work as you slip on the pair of nude heels and put your necessities into the little clutch you’re taking with you. Just when you’re gone with everything, the doorbell rings and your heart jumps in your chest, knowing that Harry is standing on the other side of the door.

“I’ll get it for you,” Mara smiles rushing to the door as you walk into the hallway, standing a few feet behind her so as she opens the front door and Harry comes into view, over Mara’s shoulder his eyes easily find your figure standing there, feeling a little awkward and self-conscious, like you are about to go to prom with your crush. Difference is that you are not a teenager anymore and you aren’t going anywhere together together. Tonight is just work for him.

But as his bright green eyes fall on your frame and you see his lips slightly part, you can’t help but allow yourself to think for a moment that it’s more than just work. That he feels the same way about it as you do. Though you don’t voice your hopes and just smile at him faintly, hoping you don’t look completely ridiculous in your outfit.

“Harry, come on in!” Mara invites him into the apartment and he walks in, wearing his usual black suit with the difference of having a tie on around his neck, his white shirt is appearing neat and crispy and his sometimes unruly curls are now gently combed back a little so his curls are not falling into his forehead.

“Hi,” you smile at him nervously fumbling with your clutch as he takes a few steps closer to you.

“Hi. You look… beautiful,” he smiles back at you a little breathlessly as he takes a respectful look down your body before his green irises meet your gaze again.

“Thank you. You look great too,” you chuckle softly. “Should we… head out?”

“Yeah, sure!” he nods, offering you his arm and you link your arm with his instantly, hoping you won’t trip in your heels. “Lock the door when you leave, Mara, alright?” you call out to your sister who is watching you smiling.

“Sure! Have fun!”

You wave at her one last time before walking out and shutting the door closed behind you.

This party is held every year at Pharma-Z, mostly this is the time when the brain meets the money. Investors and funders like to meet the people behind the million dollars researches from time to time and this is the occasion where both sides show up. Julian always asks you to be social and try to mingle, but the whole thing feels forced and painful for you. You’d rather just be left alone with your researches and projects without having to schmooze to the people who give you the money for your hard work.

It’s held at one of said investors’ luxurious penthouse, that doesn’t even look like someone’s home with the huge outdoors infinity pool, the spacious and modern interiors and the expensive looking decoration that was put up just for the occasion.

“Y/N! I’m so happy you are here!” Julian approaches you with a drink in his hands and you’re happy to see a familiar face in the crowd. You don’t really know others from work, only your little team you directly work with and of course, your boss, Julian.

“It’s not like I had a choice,” you chuckle giving him a short, friendly hug. Julian is far from a nightmare of a boss some people have to face at their job. He is an actually nice and very smart and intellectual person. The pharmaceutical industry can be harsh and dark, the competition between the businesses is way more intent than people think. This is why you need the protection. Some companies profit off of the fact that cancer has no cure yet. They make money from all the treatments that doesn’t even guarantee full recovery. A lot of big fish don’t want the cure, because that would make them lose a good chunk of their income and some of those would even go to the depth of hurting you for being so close to ruining their business with your invention. Pharma-Z is luckily a genuine company that wants to help sick people and that’s why you’re working there.

“You know how important it is for the company,” Julian sighs, but he understands how uncomfortable these events make you feel, though he can do nothing to help you. “Harry, nice to see you again,” he smiles at the man by your side.

“Julian, nice to see you too,” he nods, shaking hands with your boss.

“Mingle a little so people can see and meet you, alright?” Julian requests and you just nod silently before he moves on to the next group of people.

You get yourself a drink to ease your nerves a little as people start approaching you. Some of them you’ve met last year, but there are a lot of new faces. Your project has brought in quite a few new sponsors and investors and now they want to meet you and talk about the research their money is going into.

You try your best to keep a smile plastered across your face as you tell the people the same thing over and over again, receiving praise and compliments on your work before moving onto the next conversation just to start over again.

You can feel your social batteries running out, not sure you can put up with another conversation with a wealthy investor who wants you to know you have a job because they gave money for your project in hopes of you bringing more money to them.

Harry has stayed by your side the whole evening, and you didn’t notice but he kept examining you every few minutes to make sure you were holding up and he noticed how tired you’ve grown from socializing for so long.

“Y/N,” he softly calls out, his palm finding the small of your back. “Why don’t we get some fresh air?” he kindly offers and you immediately understand that he is trying to get you away from the guests and the overwhelming conversations you’ve been dealing with. Nodding you let him usher you outside, finding a spot where the two of you can be a little alone.

“I fucking… hate small talks and being nice to everyone,” you let out a long and heavy sigh, as you lean against the railing, paying just one short glance at the city’s bright lights under your feet. Harry chuckles shortly.

“I figured. You’ve been chewing your lips so hard I was afraid you’d start bleeding.”

Now that he has brought your attention to it, you realize you are doing it again, so you let go of your bottom lip from between your teeth and it brings out another chuckle from Harry.

“I’m just… not good with these… social stuff.”

“I disagree with that,” he hums, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Oh please, if you haven’t realized it, my number of zero friends is a tell, I think.”

“Come on, it’s not zero. You’re friends with Mara.”

“But family doesn’t count, she is kind of forced to be my friend,” you shrug, making him laugh.

“Okay, but I’m your friend too, aren’t I?” You furrow your eyebrows at him.

“You spend time with me because it’s your job.”

His eyes soften on you as he leans against the railing next to you, looking so effortlessly handsome and charming, you almost need to take a deep breath at the sight of him. And the cheeky smile on his pink lips is definitely not helping your case.

“I know you didn’t mean that. You’re a smart woman, Y/N.” Reaching out he tugs a loose strand of hair behind your ear as he inches closer a tiny bit. “I think we stepped over the line of just work.”

“So… you consider me your friend?” you ask shyly.

“If you have to ask maybe I’ve been doing something wrong,” he chuckles softly, making you smile too. Folding your arms a shiver runs down your spine from the cold evening breeze. “Are you cold?” Harry asks, but before you could even say a word, he shrugs his jacket off and drapes it over your shoulders.

“Oh, thank you,” you breathe out shyly.

“Do you want another drink?”

“Yeah, I think I might need another one,” you chuckle and nodding he tells you to just stay there until he gets you a new one.

Turning towards the view, you enjoy the lonely moments for a little, not too keen on going back inside and keep up the façade of interest any longer. You’d rather just head home, maybe have another drink with Harry on your couch while you watch a rerun of whatever show is on TV and then fall asleep after a hot shower. You’ve been working way too much lately and it’s just now crashing down on you. Next week you definitely should cut back on your hours at the lab, the project is already going amazing, it won’t hurt if you actually had some rest before you lose your mind.

You hear footsteps approaching you and you think it’s Harry returning, but as you turn around you are faced with a stranger, a man who is staring down at you with bloodshot eyes and… a gun pointed at you.

Your breath hitches, your blood freezing in your veins at the sight and your legs almost give up underneath you.

“What… who are you?” Your voice comes out as a whisper, tears already flooding your eyes as you melt against the railing as if you had anywhere to go, but you have no chance against him.

One glance at the gun allows you to see that it has a silencer on, with the music coming from inside and no one around, if he shoots you, he’ll be able to get away before anyone realizes what happened.

The man doesn’t answer, just holds up the gun, aiming right at your chest and you close your eyes, thinking that this is it. This is how your life ends, in the middle of a posh party with no one around to help you. Your lips are trembling and hands are shaking as you hold onto the railing, waiting for the inevitable to come, keeping your eyes shut, not wanting to see your killer as the last thing you see before you go.

And then you hear the muffled gunshot, making you scream in fear, your knees turning into jelly, but the pain never comes. Instead, you hear grunting and growling as a body falls to the ground in front of you.

Your eyes snap open and you see Harry straddling the man, the gun lying near your attacker’s hand and he is trying to reach it, but before he could, you kick it away as Harry throws a punch at his face that stops him from trying too hard to free himself.

The next few moments are so busy and blurry at the same time. Your legs give up underneath you, making you fall to the ground, your whole body shaking in waves. In the meantime Harry gets the man into a position where he can be easily controlled and people start flooding out at the scene, helping Harry while security working at the party take the man, the police already on its way.

When Harry can finally step back from the attacker, his eyes fall on your figure and he rushes over to you, kneeling down next to your trembling body, cradling you into his arms upon seeing how shaken up you are.

“Hey, it’s alright. It’s over, you’re alright,” he murmurs, holding you tight as your fists grab onto his shirt, your breathing is uneven, the oxygen barely makes its way into your lungs as you’re panting and gasping from the shock. “Come on, let’s get you inside, Y/N,” he gently tells you, helping you up from the floor even though your body feels like a pile of brick.

You can feel everyone staring at you, whispering behind your back as you try to hide in Harry’s arms while he walks you back inside, away from the man that tried to take your life. He walks you into one of the bathrooms and closing the lid he sits you down to the toilet while he grabs a towel and wetting it he kneels in front of you, tapping the cloth to your cheeks gently. You haven’t even realized that you’ve been sweating from the shock and the coldness feels amazing against your burning skin.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, but not even you are sure why.

“Nothing to be sorry for, Y/N,” he gently murmurs, giving your hand a squeeze as you shut your eyes closed. He grabs a glass from one of the cabinets and fills it with water handing it over to you.

“Thank you,” you mumble, bringing it to your trembling lips, but before you could drink it, your eyes snap up to meet his gaze. “And thank you for… what you did.” Your voice dies down at the end, the picture of the man pointing the gun at you still living so vividly in your mind.

“No need, it’s my job after all, right?” he chuckles softly, making your lips twitch the slightest bit before you start sipping on the water.

The police show up soon and they arrest the man who refuses to talk. They also request you to give your statement about what happened, but Harry manages to let you just give them the brief story and go in sometime soon to give them your full statement so you don’t have to spend any more time there. They are quite sure the man was hired by someone who doesn’t want you to finish your project, and it’s scary how far some people are willing to go just for the money, just to keep sick people in suffering for their own benefit.

Heading home you stay silent as Harry drives, staring out the window you let the nightlights of the city pass by you while you still see the same face, the face of the man that held a gun at you tonight. The gunshot is still ringing through your ears, it was so close, so real… of course it was real! All of it was real and your life was on the line. If it weren’t for Harry, you wouldn’t be here right now.

Arriving to your home Harry helps you out of the car and you cling onto his hand as you head up to the apartment. He keys the two of you into your home, flicking the lights on and looking around before you go further inside, just to be sure.

“It’s all clear, don’t worry,” he murmurs as you nod and make your way into the bedroom. Kicking your heels off your feet you sit on the edge of the bed, letting out a long breath, feeling your limbs loosening up a bit for the first time in the past hour.

Harry moves around the place doing whatever before he joins you in the room, kneeling in front of you his hands find your bare knees and your eyes meet his worry-filled green irises.

“Do you want to take a shower?” he softly asks and you nod your head. “Come on, I’ll start the water for you.”

He helps you up from the bed and walks you into the bathroom. You stand there awkwardly, not sure what to do as he starts running the water in the walk in shower before he steps back to you.

“Would you…?” you ask, turning around, needing help with the zipper of your dress. Harry clears his throat as his fingers work on it and a moment later the fabric loosens around your frame as you hold it to your chest with your arms. Turning back around you peek up at Harry and you notice the slight blush on his cheeks.

“I’ll be outside at the door, okay?” He whispers, his fingers delicately touching your cheek as you nod before you watch him walk out and close the door behind him.

The hot water feels freshening, like it could burn away the memories even though it’s still so vivid in your mind. You stand under the running water longer than you intended, but it feels nice and needed. Once you’re done, you wrap yourself into a fluffy towel and walk out of the steamy bathroom only to find Harry sitting at the edge of your bed, waiting like a loyal puppy. When he sees you, he stands from his spot and you don’t miss the way his eyes scan over your body that’s barely covered.

“Alright, I’ll go now, but if you—“ “Don’t!” you gasp, panic taking over you at the thought of being left alone. One of your hands grasps his arm to stop him from moving and he freezes in his spot, staring back at your fearful eyes. “Please, stay here,” you plead, voice barely over than just a whisper.

There’s a heartbeat of a pause in him as he is watching you intently and for a moment you think he’ll say no, but then his hand finds yours on his arm and he gives it a gentle squeeze as he nods.

“Okay.”

You let out a long, relieved breath as you ease into comfort. He’s staying, he’ll be with you all night, protecting you from everything and everyone.

“Can I take a shower too?” he asks softly and you nod, stepping to your wardrobe to get him a clean towel. “Thank you. I’ll be back shortly,” he tells you before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door closed behind him.

You hear the water running again and you find yourself standing at the same spot as you listen to the noises coming from the bathroom. Harry is in there, soaking under the water naked and you can’t take your mind off of how badly you want to be there with him.

It’s not just because of what happened tonight, though it made you realize that you don’t have much time to waste. Nothing can assure that you’ll live another day and you don’t want to deny happiness from yourself. You want to be with Harry and as far as you can make it out, he feels the same way.

Upon a sudden decision, you pad your way over to the bathroom door and open it carefully, the warmth immediately hitting your face as you step inside and close it behind you. The glass of the shower is steamed up, you can only make out the blurry frame of Harry in there and you wonder if he heard you come in, but it doesn’t seem like that. His clothes from the night are lying on the floor in a pile, his watch that he always wears is carefully placed next to the sink.

Your hands grab onto the edge of the towel around your body and you unwrap yourself, hanging it up on the wall before stepping to the shower. Hoping you won’t scare him, you open the door, the steam immediately hugging your naked body warmly and you see him standing there with his back facing you as you step into the spacious walk-in shower.

He notices your presence, you see him freeze mid-movement before he peeks over his shoulder, his eyes falling on you as he slowly turns, facing you completely. Standing in front of him completely bare, you feel more vulnerable than ever in your life. You’re scared that he is going to send you away, that he won’t let you get closer to him and if that happens, you’ll feel humiliated, but he just stands there in his naked glory and doesn’t say anything, so you take it as a chance to shoot your shot.

Reaching up your hands slide to his hard chest, up to the base of his neck as you push your front against his, skin to skin with the hot water running down your bodies. His hands find your waist and you could cry from the feeling of his touch on you. Pushing yourself up to your tiptoes your nose nudges against his as your eyes fall closed.

“Y/N,” he breathes out, stopping you right when your lips could meet. Opening your eyes you see the hesitation in his green irises that appear so much darker than they usually do.

“Do you not want it? You don’t want me?” you whisper.

“I do. It’s not that,” he sighs shaking his head slightly. “But you went through a lot today. I don’t want you to make decisions you might regret in the morning.”

You can’t help the small smile that tugs on your lips at how considerate and protective he is over you, thinking that this might be just something that crashed over you in the heat of the moment, but it’s been in the making from the first day you met him. Despite all your protesting against him, you knew you needed him and not just as your guard. He is what’s been missing from your life all along, you just never realized it.

“There’s nothing I could regret when it comes to you, Harry. I needed tonight to open my eyes. Our days are counted, I’m done running from my own happiness.”

He lets out a long, shaky breath as his hands hold tighter onto your waist while your hands run up his neck until your fingers tangle into his wet locks.

“I need you. And not just because of tonight. I’ve always needed you.”

“I’m here, Y/N. I’m all yours,” he breathes out before his lips smash against yours all wet and hard, but it’s the most heavenly feeling you’ve ever experienced.

You become a mess, tangled in each other, lips melting together as your hands explore naked limbs and torsos, bodies pressing tightly against each other shamelessly. Harry walks you backwards until your back hits the cold tile and you let out a whimper as you arch your back at the sudden feeling, just as his head dips down, lips attacking your neck, kissing and nibbling on the soft skin. Your light leg lifts as his hands wander down your thigh, your hips pressing together and you feel how hard he is, his cock pushed against your other thigh, making you moan at the feeling. Reaching down you blindly wrap a hand around the base, giving him a few slow pumps, earning a guttural growl from him before his lips return to yours, kissing you hard and filled with passion. His hands are all over you, on your thighs, ass, back and chest, as if he was mapping your whole body wanting to remember how every inch feels under his touch.

Without tearing his lips away from yours, he blindly reaches behind him, shutting the water off before urging you to jump into his arms, legs wrapping around his waist. He carries you out of the shower, placing you to the counter next to the sink as he stands between your legs, his hands once again finding your breasts as they knead them, making you whimper and shake under his touch. It’s euphoric and addictive, you already know you won’t be able to go a day without feeling him against you like this.

“Bed?” he breathes out against your mouth and you nod eagerly. Reaching to the side he grabs a towel, wrapping it around you, tapping and squeezing you to dry you off, throwing fits of giggles when you grab it and wrap it around his body as well.

The towel falls to the floor abandoned and forgotten as he lifts you off the counter and brings you to the bed, laying you down and holding himself up above you with one arm. His other hand cups your cheek and turning your head you kiss his palm gently, eyes glued to his as he settles between your legs.

“Are you sure about this?” he breathes out, his lips dancing against your cheek and the corner of your mouth.

“Yes! Harry, please!” you beg with a whimper, your whole body aching to feel him inside you.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you, love,” he kisses you as his hand leaves your heated face, runs down your naked body until his fingers reach your throbbing clit.

He slides two digits through your already wet folds, but just to work you up even more he starts drawing circles on your bud, turning you into a whimpering mess underneath him. Your fingers dig into the lean muscles on his back, feeling them twitch from his movements and one hand sliding down to his ass, grabbing a handful of him while pushing him closer to you, his erection pressing against your core.

“Harry, I need you!” you moan, not able to contain yourself any longer. You need to feel him, you need him as close as possible.

Reaching over to your nightstand you grab a condom from the drawer, ripping the package open with your teeth before you carefully grab his erection and roll the condom down his length, ready to finally feel him inside you.

He flicks his fingers on your clit one last time before his hand wraps around the base of his cock, giving it a few pumps while his soft lips kiss down your jawline and throat, his face hiding in the crook of his neck. Your arms circle around his shoulders, your chest heaving from the sensation as he positions himself just right, the tip teasing your hole. Harry lifts his head up, his bright eyes finding your gaze just as he sinks into you, filling you up perfectly.

“H-Harry! Fuck—“ you gasp at the feeling, your walls stretching around his thick cock as he stays still for a few moments, letting you adjust to his size.

You draw your legs up, giving you more space to go deeper as he starts thrusting, sliding in and out of you oh so perfectly, inching you closer to your relief with each movement. You cup his face in your hands, staring into his eyes as if you could see his soul in them and for a split second, you feel like you actually do. His lips are parted and the cross pendant is grazing your chest while he fucks into you, never falling out of his rhythm.

You want to beg to him not to stop, to keep moving and moving, but no words can leave your mouth as your back arches, your orgasm building up in the pit of your stomach. You start grinding your hips in sync with his, allowing him to reach deeper into you, making your toes curl from pleasure.

“Harry, I’m gonna—I-I’m gonna—Ah!” You can’t make up one coherent sentence as your legs start shaking, feeling your orgasm taking over your body.

“I know, baby. Let it go. Let me make you feel good,” he pants, his lips kissing you everywhere he can reach, your lips smashing against each other in a messy kiss, your tongue meeting his in the middle just when you reach your high.

You moan and cry out his name, fingers digging into his flesh as you chase your release. Seeing you fall apart underneath him is enough to throw him over the edge, spilling himself into the condom as his mouth hangs agape, your name falling off his tongue as if it was the holiest glorification. Combing your fingers through his hair you hold him to your chest as he collapses on top of you, his head lying on your naked chest as you both try to catch your breath in the sudden silence that came over you without the sounds of your passion.

Rolling off of your body he slips out of you, an empty feeling taking over you right away, but he is quick to cradle you into his arms to keep the intimacy. You lay your head to his chest, a thin layer of sweat covering the both of you, but you couldn’t care less. You listen to his steady heartbeat as you draw one of the swallows on his chest with your finger, running it over the lines of the ink. You want to soak in the moment and stay in it for as long as possible, but you can barely keep your eyes open. As Harry’s fingers are gently running up and down your bare back you let your eyes close and the last thing you remember is hearing his soft whisper.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll keep you safe.”

You wake up without an alarm in the morning and it’s the first time for that in a long-long time. You stir and groan before you open your eyes, your hands reaching out next to you, looking for the man that was next to you when you fell asleep, but there’s nothing and no one beside you now.

Panic rises in your chest as your eyes pop open and you frantically look around in the room, hoping to see him somewhere near, but you’re alone.

“Harry?” you call you as you sit up, holding the sheets to your chest since you’re still naked. No answer comes and you can feel your heart rate rising instantly.

Getting out of bed you grab the nearest clothing item you find which is an old hoodie, and you put on a pair of clean panties before you carefully walk out of the bedroom, afraid of what you might find outside, but it’s completely silent and still, no one is around. Harry has left.

“Fuck,” you breathe out, feeling the lump in your throat growing as tears are forming in your eyes.

Where did he go? Why did he leave? Is he coming back? Is he gone forever?

You can’t stop yourself from going into depth you shouldn’t, just because you don’t find him first thing in the morning, but you still haven’t entirely recovered from last night’s events and before you could stop yourself, you are thinking about the worst possibilities there could be.

And then you hear the lock turning in the front door.

Blood rushes out of your head as you freeze, afraid it’s another attacker and this time you won’t be as lucky as you were last night. But as the door opens Harry walks in with a paper bag in his arm and you can’t help, but start sobbing at the sight of him.

“Harry!” you cry out, launching at him and he barely have time to put the bag down before he catches you, locking you in his strong arms.

“Hey! No need to worry, it’s just me!” he soothes softly, his hands running up and down your back and head. “I’m sorry I scared you, just wanted to get you something to eat, baby,” he murmurs, kissing the side of your head as you try your best to hold back your sobs.

“I just woke up alone and I thought…”

“I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have left while you were sleeping. But I’m back and I’m alright.”

You just nod, hugging him a little longer before you loosen your hold around him to lean back and look him in the eyes.

“So… you’re staying? With me?”

“If you want me to, yes,” he nods with a soft smile as he cups your tear-soaked face in his hands. “I’ll keep you safe and sound and I’ll be whatever you need me to be.”

“Just be yourself and… be with me,” you shyly ask him and he nods, his smile growing into a wide grin before he leans down and captures your lips in a sweet, intoxicating kiss.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #bodyguard!harry

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sleepy-dreamers-inc · 4 years ago

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Going to School with Ranboo!|| 📌

[i was going to answer this but i was a big dummy dum dum and accidentally deleted the ask bUT I REMEMBERED YOU DEAR ANON]

irl / in-game

Genre| fluff and (minor) angst

h e a d-c a n n o n s||

Sypnosis|

You and Ranboo go to school together, so have some scenarios and thoughts about it!!

Artist| grapeichie on twitter!!

warnings| bullying, stress, swearing

Note: you are a streamer in this!! You are also in the SMP!

optional platonic or romantic!!

- so going to school with Ranboo is both amazing and weird. You two have tons of stories of the dumb shit that happened there.

- Nobody will ever find Y/N and Ranboo far apart, even if you guys dont share classes one of you will randomly appear and at this point no one questions it

- Both of you meeting up at eachothers classroom/locker to walk together to your next destination

- Both of you helping eachother with schoolwork, Ranboo would totally tutor you in any subject you struggle with. Both of you go to his house but you two end up getting bored, so he does a Facecam stream with you in the background vibing. (It was so much fun)

- You guys are both the teacher’s favorites and least favorites. You both add so much life to the school but thats the exact problem.

- Y/N: haha look at that high waisted man he got feminine hips!!

Ranboo: NOOOO THATS THE THING HE’S SENSITIVE ABOUT

That Poor Teacher:

- I can totally imagine some kids in your school being invested in the SMP and both of you just nervously sweat in the background. Bonus points if ya’ll’s friends are into it so its just absolute panic

- You trying to help him not be awkward, especially when it comes to talking to new people. I can totally see like a new girl trying to talk to him and he just panics, so you have to step in and explain and help the poor boy out.

- You two are like,, inseparable. Like literally rarely does anyone see you guys apart. So this kinda urks some people who have crushes on him, or literally just your stereotypical bully.

- So one day while you we’re grabbing things for your next class, someone slammed against the locker next to yours, slamming yours shut in the process.

“Well well well, if it isnt the clingy one. Im surprised your not with that dork, you two practically don’t function without the other.” The guy snickered, leaning forward directly in Y/N’s face.

“And how is that any of your concern? And why does it matter?” Y/N said, standing straight up staring at the guy. “Because your fucking pathetic, thats why. Your useless without him and both of us know it.” He spat, pushing Y/N to the floor with a thud, they’re books crashing to the ground around them. Snickers could be heard from around them, as well as gasps and ‘oh-no’s’.

“Awww whatcha gonna do now, freak? You gonna go cry to that loser? Because i have a better idea. Your gonna shut up, and if not, he gets hurt.” The boy said, picking Y/N up by the collar of they’re shirt, and soon slamming them back into the lockers. All he did was laugh and walk away, muttering “pathetic, good for nothing freak.”

- You went home by yourself that day, usually Ranboo walks you home so you two can hangout, but you were nowhere to be seen. This went on for 2 weeks, and you practically avoided him at all costs, not wanting him to get hurt.

- But when he walked into school one day and saw Y/N being harassed by a group of people, he surely wasn’t the one hurt.

“Awww, cant move?” One said, twisting Y/N’s wrist even more, bruising they’re arm as they whimpered in pain. “Awww i think they’re gonna cry!!” Someone else chimmed in, one girl quickly said “better take a picture of this before the moments gone.” As she giggled, snapping a photo of you in the middle of being bullied.

“Delete it, and leave.” Ranboo said, looking down at the three who were currently tormenting you. You looked so sad yet happy, but you knew what was about to happen. “I thought i fucking told you not to tell him, guess your getting it.” The guy said, kicking your stomach and slamming you against the lockers.

You never in your wildest dreams expected Ranboo to punch someone, he was so sweet and charismatic, very passive and neutral. But now, your bully laid on the floor, a bloody nose, and Ranboo towering over him. “Dont. Touch. Them.” Ranboo snarled, leaning down and looking at the bully directly in the eyes.

- A fight soon broke out, leaving one guy with a black eye, bloody nose and a bruised arm and shoulder. Ranboo got suspended, but you left with him, not wanting to be at school and instead with him.

- While walking home he stopped, pulled off his white and black hoodie, put it on you, and soon enveloped you in a hug. Y/N return the favor, and all he said shakily was ‘i love you’

- God no one ever fucked with Y/N again everyone was scared spineless

- The entire SMP had a ‘bruh’ moment when you two told them. Of course Techno was very happy about Ranboo beating some kids up.

- But like back to happy stuff,,

- Kahoot? Idk if you guys play it in school but i do, and both you and Ranboo are such a power duo in Kahoot games

- Trading each others lunch because thats what duo’s like you two do, share with the homies

- Both of you being referees in sports because if other wise someone is going to accidentally get hurt

- You having to walk Ranboo to the nurses office after he got hit in the face with a basketball.

- The librarian does not like the fact you two cannot be quiet. You both are constantly cracking up and can never keep it down

- I know for a FACT one of you got your hands on the teacher’s computer, and i know one of you are playing memes during class while your Teacher is screeching

- All your teachers think both of you are cheating because you have synced brains and get every single answer the exact. same.

- Pulling some kind of huge end of the year prank

- Both of you speaking in zoomer language and not even your classmates have any idea what your saying

- I can see both of you accidentally writing/typing ‘pog’ into a essay/class assignment and your teacher being VERY confused

- Blasting fan-made songs about both of your guys characters and everyone liking them, and both of you are just giggling and smiling because they dont know

- Your friend group see you two doing something and they’re just like “ah shit, here we go again”

- Both of you going to school events only to ensue chaos and be idiots

- On the first day one of you getting lost and the other having to go fetch the other one

- Both of you crashing at the others house to study but it probably didnt go well

- You two are honestly just encased in your own little shared bubble, just vibing and being yourselves

- i feel like this is going on forever and most of it was just angst so I’ll go ahead and cut this off lol

a/n: TWO UPLOADS IN ONE DAY??? CALL ME GO-

Okay but in all seriousness i hope this was not total shit and actually pleasant to read. Idk i just feel like this bad

Anyways I promise I’ll get to working on pt. 2 of dad wilbur but i have some other requests i need to work on. But in the meantime simp for Ranboo and Wilbur okay bye

#ranboo x reader #ranboo imagine #ranboo fanfiction #mcyt x reader #mcyt fanfiction #dream smp x reader #mcyt imagine #dream smp fanfiction #dsmp x reader #dream smp imagine #dsmp fanfiction #dreamer posts ♠️

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sluttyminghao · 4 years ago

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studio stress | h.vc

w.c: 3.5k request: hi!! can i request a dom!vernon x fem reader where he fucks her in the studio because he’s jealous? maybe because his gf talked to another member or something lmao genre: smut! pairing: vernon x female!reader contains: dom!vernon, jealous vern, sub!female!reader, mentions of spit play, oral and fingering (fem. receiving), mentions of restraints, marking, slight degradation, vern is a bit of a shithead lmao a/n: amazing idea! thank you for this anon! im also tagging @junsol because she wanted to see this :)

Vernon wasn’t the type to get jealous much, if at all really.

He was normally always level headed and calm, and he had no problem with you hanging out with his band mates when he wasn't around, because he trusted both you and them enough to know that neither of you would do anything. Vernon’s bandmates respected and liked you enough to know that you wouldn't do anything with them, and vice versa.

Your boyfriend and his bandmates were currently under a significant amount of stress, however, due to their new album preparing to be released in the following weeks. They were snippy and snide to one another, and their actions didn't always come off in the nicest ways, even towards you, but you knew they really didn't mean it at the end of the day, and they would always apologize to you after.

Today was one of those days, and it was particularly awful. You didn’t know just how bad it was going to be, but if the texts from the other band members was anything to go off, you were in for a doozy.

You were headed towards their recording studio after Vernon had sent you a text to come visit, and you were more than ecstatic to see him after he had holed himself away for a few days, only sparing a few minutes to text you. You hadn’t really minded of course, but you had missed him dearly, and you knew that seeing him would make your day better.

The texts had been short and concise, and only really things like “hello” and “i love you”, but it was nice to know that he was still thinking about you even when he was under so much pressure with his company and his bandmates. You knew that after the album came out though, they would all go back to their happy and relaxed selves, and you would have your boyfriend back in your hold soon enough.

The walk to the studio wasn’t overly long, but the cool winter air had seeped under your various layers of clothes and had ultimately chilled you to the bone by the time you were standing outside the studio, your body shivering and teeth chattering, texting your boyfriend to let him know you had arrived. The door to the studio quickly swung open not long after the text had been sent, and Seokmin was standing in the doorway with his signature sunshine smile.

“Hey you! Come on in, Vernon’s been expecting you for hours!” He exclaimed loudly, his broad frame moving out of the way so that you could walk in to the warm building and attempt to shake off the cold. “Thanks for letting me in Seokmin, how is everyone doing today?” You asked as you shrugged off your jacket, quirking a brow in confusion when you heard faint shouting coming from down the hallway.

“Uh...it’s not going great at the minute,” he muttered, his lips forming a pout at yet another shout, followed by a crash sounded from the room down the hall. He sighed and lead you down the hallway, where the voices became louder and the screaming more prominent, your eyes widening in surprise that the team seemed to be crumbling behind the very door you were about to walk through.

Just as Seokmin pushed the door open to the recording studio, the voices that were screaming just seconds before had become hushed and the bodies had stilled, as if being a group of deer caught in the headlights. Every person in the recording room turned to see who was opening the door, and visibly relaxed when they noted that it was only Seokmin and yourself, making Vernon beam widely as the rest of the band members fell into conversation once more after exchanging their hello’s with you.

He stood up from his spot between Minghao and Soonyoung, and walked quickly towards you and enveloped your body tightly with his strong arms, his favourite cologne drifting up your nostrils and invading all of your senses in all of the best ways. “Hey ‘Sol,” you mumbled, your face smushed into his firm pecs, making him giggle at the slight vibration against his chest.

“Hey, baby,” he whispered into your hair, placing a chaste kiss to the crown of your head and sending tingles throughout your body. You smiled as you pulled away from his warm body reluctantly, letting him return to whatever he had been doing previously, and finding yourself a chair to sit on while he worked.

Finding purchase on a seat across the room, you found yourself squished between Seungcheol and Seungkwan and quickly fell into idle banter with the two, who were bickering over something you could not quite comprehend, but you also weren't paying a whole lot of attention because you were watching your boyfriend busy himself with recordings.

He was busy concentrating on and discussing an odd bass loop with Jihoon, the pair trying to find the perfect place to put it in the song where it wouldn't sound weird or repetitive. Your eyes unashamedly grazed all over his body, admiring how toned he had gotten over the last few weeks from his constant workouts and personal training sessions.

You were snapped out of your trance however, when Seungkwan snapped his fingers in front of your face to garner your attention. “Were you even listening to me?” He quipped, sass dripping from his voice as he rolled his eyes at you. You rolled your eyes back in response, albeit with a huge grin on your face as he continued his story about picking up his Americano earlier that day.

While you were chatting with Seungkwan, you felt the hairs on the back of your head begin to stand, and it felt almost as if someone was watching you. Your eyes darted around the room trying to find the reason for the suspicious activity, until they finally locked onto your boyfriend’s dark ones. You hadn't seen him look at you like that before, and it only sent shivers down your spine and you forced yourself to look away before you flung yourself at him.

You tried to occupy yourself by having a conversation with Seungcheol, who was showing you some of the lyrics he was writing and leaning in quite close to you. It hadn’t seemed like a problem for you since you were always talking to them about their lyrics and what they were working on, but there was something that felt...off, about sitting and talking to Seungcheol, even though all of your previous encounters with him had been nothing but pleasant and fun.

Vernon’s eyes refused to move off of your form as you sat next to Seungcheol, and all he could focus on was how his blood was beginning to boil, watching how his band mate would wrap an arm around your waist or whisper into your ear and make you laugh at some dumb joke he had explained to you. It was all getting too much for him, and before he could even control himself, his palms were slamming down onto the table with a loud thud, causing the room to fall into silence and everyone’s heads to whip around to face Vernon.

“What’s wrong Vern? You seem a little stressed, almost like you need to get laid or something,” Jeonghan joked, playfully hitting his younger friend’s arm lightly. The room fell into silence again as everyone awaited his response, not sure what the outcome would be from his seemingly harmless joke.

“Everyone needs to leave, I can’t concentrate with all this noise going on,” he finally spoke through gritted teeth, and everyone stayed still for a split second, before they scrambled to gather their things and leave as quickly as possible, not wanting to know what was going to happen once they left.

Because if they knew Vernon, they knew that he was hardly ever like this, and if he was going to snap, it wouldn't be pretty and they didn't particularly want to see it. They gave you quick, worried glances as they left, and you could only remain planted in your seat as you watched your boyfriend’s form tense and untense the more he looked at the music in front of him.

“Are you okay, baby?” You finally squeaked out once the door to the studio had shut and you were left alone with your stressed out partner. He remained silent for a few beats, and you thought about just grabbing your stuff and leaving him to his own devices, but his raspy voice stopped you before you even had the opportunity to grab your bag.

“I didn’t like the way you were talking with Seungcheol, it really got on my nerves,” he spoke through his teeth, hands gripping the table until his knuckles turned white. Your head tilted in confusion, before a small laugh bubbled past your lips from his statement, which you could hardly believe. “Are you serious? You’ve never had a problem with me talking to him before! Why is it any different now?”

His body immediately whirled around in the chair he sat on and he stood up, making fast paces towards you. You suddenly felt overly small in his presence, and even more so with his dominating nature that he was currently exuding. His eyes had darkened a few shades, and it was a look that you were all too familiar with, one that made arousal pool within your stomach and a distinct wetness clinging to your panties.

“I never had a problem before, because he wasn’t flirting with you last time, sweetheart,” His voice was rough as he stood in front of you, a small smirk reaching his mouth before he was crashing his lips into yours harshly, teeth and tongues clashing and you couldn’t help but let a mewl spill from your lips.

“He-he wasn’t flirting with me Vernon!” You managed to stutter out when he pulled away and sat on the couch next to you, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. His head snapped up and his eyes bore into yours again, before he let a sinister chuckle fall from his lips, and he was ripping your shirt off, leaving your upper body exposed to the slight chill in the air, with exception of your bra.

“You must be blind if you couldn't see the way he was undressing you with his eyes and holding your waist tightly, but it’s a shame he won’t ever get to see you like that,” he seethed, letting his lips run across the expanse of your neck and collarbone before letting his teeth sink in to the juncture of your shoulder and neck.

A small hiss left your lips as he continued to suck on your neck, leaving pretty purple and blue blooms across the expanse. Your hands found purchase in his locks, tugging roughly on the roots and pulling him off your skin. “W-we can’t do this here...” you trailed off, voice growing small when you noticed your boyfriend stripping his own clothes off, another laugh slipping past his kiss-swollen lips.

“Oh, sweetheart, you don’t get a say in that, I need to show you who you belong to,” he spoke nonchalantly, leaning over your body and unclasping your bra, before pulling your pants and panties down in one swoop, leaving you stark naked in front of him. You face burned red with embarrassment, and you poorly attempted to cover your body up with a pillow strewn carelessly on the couch.

“Why are you trying to hide your smoking hot body from me?” His dominant act dropped momentarily and he let his body fall so that he was crouching between your legs, his eyes softening as he looked at you adoringly. “I-I don’t know...” a stuttered breath fell from your lips as he removed the pillow from your grip and threw it across the other side of the room.

His large hands roughly gripped your thighs and pushed them apart, exposing your glistening pussy to the air and his eyes. You saw his eyes grow hungrier and darker the longer he stared at your folds, and he couldn’t help but lean in towards you and lick a flat stripe against you, a smirk playing on his lips when you gasp and attach your hands to his scalp.

“Fuck, Vern! Your mouth i-is like ma-magic” You moaned out, unable to stop your legs from violently shaking with pleasure. His hands kept your legs pried apart, and it only heightened your levels of pleasure when his mouth found your clit and he sucked on it gently, sending waves of electricity coursing throughout your body. “You always did like when I eat you out, I bet that Seungcheol couldn’t even come close in terms of eating you out, I will always be on top” he moaned out loud, reattaching his lips to your folds and sucking vigorously.

Vernon spent a significant amount of time alternating between licking and sucking at your folds, and it came as no surprise to either of you that you were nearing your first orgasm already, your moans increasing in volume substantially when he began teasing a finger at your entrance. “You’re soaked, baby, I bet I’d just slide right in huh?” He teased, hissing when his finger was met with no resistance when he did slide it in.

He could feel your walls pulsing around his finger, and he knew that you would be cumming any moment now. Your whines were like music to his ears, and only spurred him on to add another finger into your swollen cunt, the wet noises making his cock twitch and a groan to spill from his lips.

You were too late in giving him a warning that you were cumming, it happened so fast and before you knew it, your legs were attempting to close around your boyfriend’s head and there was shapes and white patterns dancing behind your eyelids. You could faintly hear yourself crying out his name as you came down from your glorious high, and came to just as Vernon’s hand caressed your cheek.

“That was a powerful orgasm, sweetheart, but don’t forget that I’m not quite done with you yet, I still wanna fill you up with my cum.” He all but growled at you, pulling his boxers down to reveal his hard and leaking length, a continuous bead of precum growing at the tip of his erection. His cock wasn’t overly long, but it still worked wonders inside of you, and the thickness made you feel so full it was almost as if you would split open.

You leaned over to reach for his cock, but his hand gripped your wrist and held on tightly, making confusion cover your features. “No, we don’t have time for that right now, the members will be back any moment soon,” he replied, laying you down and hovering over your sweaty and shaking body. You could feel his heavy cock resting against your clit, and it only made you shiver in excitement at what was going to happen.

“F-fuck me ‘Sol...make me see stars,” You whined out, before he effectively silenced you by shoving two of his fingers in your mouth and glaring down at you with hooded eyes. “You don’t get to talk to me like that, slut, you’re lucky i don't have anything to tie your hands back with because that’s where they’d be.” He groaned, letting his tip slide down to your entrance.

He teased his cock at your entrance, prodding at it and pushing in slightly, only to pull back out again and leave you a whining and sobbing mess. “P-please...I need your c-cock!” You cried out, your body wriggling around on the couch in anticipation. He quirked a brow at your neediness, stopping his actions altogether and making you whine even louder.

“Someone is a needy brat tonight huh? That’s bold considering you were flirting with one of my bandmates not even an hour ago,” he scolded, finally letting his cock sink into you slowly. “I- ngh, I wasn't f-flirting with him!” you screamed out, his hips finally meeting yours as he bottomed out with a low groan.

“You definitely were, I could see it in your eyes,” he stuttered out, his hips beginning a rapid and unforgiving pace. His cock was stretching you out so nicely and filling you right up to the brim, and you couldn’t even find the energy to respond to his snarky comment. His cock was making you feel amazing in so many ways, you could feel your eyes rolling back into your head and your legs beginning to shake the more Vernon pounded into you.

“Your cunt is so fucking tight, baby, I don’t know how much longer I can keep myself from c-cumming inside of you,” he groaned, lifting one of your legs up so that it was propped on his shoulder and he could angle his cock better inside of you, attempting to hit that one spot inside of you that would have you clenching around his cock in a matter of seconds.

“R-right there! Fuck!” You cried out, your fingers digging into the flesh of your boyfriend’s bicep and leaving bright red crescent marks indented on the skin. He smirked at your cries and continued to hit in the same spot over and over, hissing when he felt how your pussy began clenching rapidly around his cock, making it even harder for him to thrust inside of you.

You were so close to falling over the edge, you just needed one more action to send you toppling, and Vernon knew exactly what to do to send you into that fucked out state. He removed his fingers from your mouth, groaning at the sight of the line of saliva dropping from them and landing on your skin.

“You’re so fucking sexy, I’m gonna make you cum so hard that you won’t be able to walk out of here,” he spoke softly, his hand moving down to your clit and rubbing harsh figure eight’s on the swollen bud. His grunts and the way his hips and fingers were moving sent you spiraling over the edge with a loud scream, your body arching up so beautifully.

Luckily for you, the studio was soundproof.

Vernon was so extremely close to cumming as well, and seeing your face and body contort underneath him sent his cock twitching and unloading his cum inside of you, painting your walls white. “F-fuck...fuck!” He moaned out, pulling his cock out of you and watching globs of cum fall from your pussy. He smiled and let two of his digits scoop up the cum and press it back into your folds, a defeated whine leaving your lips as you shook from oversensitivity.

“No more, please ‘Sol...” you rasped out, feeling as if you were on another planet from how lightheaded your orgasm had made you feel. He chuckled and pulled his fingers out of you, loving how your body shook in response to his actions. “You did so well...so well my baby,” he spoke softly, wiping his fingers on a nearby pillow. His clean hand came up to caress your face, gently brushing some stray hairs out of your eyes and leaning in to kiss you softly.

The kiss was so soft and warm and made butterflies erupt in your stomach, and you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around him and hold him as close as you could. He finally pulled away from you with a wide grin on his face, before he got up and began to dress himself again and make himself look presentable.

He turned to you and helped you to dress carefully, kissing over each and every mark he left on your body, as well as whispering apologies into your skin and making you giggle at his adorableness. “Do you feel better now that you’ve gotten some of your stress out ‘Sol?” You asked, smoothing out your hair so it didn’t look as messed up as it had moments before.

He turned to face you and nodded with a huge grin on his face, pulling you in to a hug and swaying with you slightly, humming an unfamiliar tune that nonetheless made you smile and relax into his body. Just as you were about to ask him what he was humming, the door to the studio opened and a few faces popped in, worry on their features.

“It’s okay to come in, we’re all done in here,” Vernon commented, your face burning red with his outright comment. The boys slowly trickled back into the room and made themselves comfortable once more, falling into small talk with each other and you before you decided to make your exit.

“Oh, by the way,” Jeonghan started, a shit eating grin plastered on his face, and you knew that whatever he was about to say to you, would probably embarrass you until the ends of time. You made eye contact with Vernon, who looked just as nervous as you felt.

“Some of these walls aren't soundproof, for future reference.”

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thewritingstar · 4 years ago

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Ignite

SoMa Week 2021 Day One: Burn

Pairing: SoMa (Soul x Maka)

Fandom: Soul Eater

Note: This is my first time participating in SoXa week! Also its my finals week so im stressed about tests and my second vaccine dose is kicking my butt but I thought instead of studying, lets write a fic. I’ve been really into soul eater recently and started the manga, so you’ll see some new fics for it here and there. Anyways, enjoy!

@soulxmakaweek

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Her view of love had burnt out a long time ago. She was hopeful at times to think someone could be loyal and love her for eternity but that fear of being left behind and abandoned again would destroy any hope of that.

She had thought it was written in stone. From a young age she didn’t think about marriage, didn’t care about relationships because she wasn’t willing to risk the burn marks on her heart for just a sliver of satisfaction. There was nothing anyone could say to her to change her mind, she knew that, more importantly, he knew that.

But slowly that mindset started to challenge her heart. The moment she asked Soul to be her partner when they were teenagers, she felt a spark. It was small and only lasted a fraction of a second when he said yes and gave her a smirk she dared not say she liked. For a moment she had forgotten about her pact, never fall in love, but it came back quickly as it left.

She repeated those words more frequently than not. The mirror had begun to memorize the movement of her lips as she looked at herself and scolded anything that remotely resembled a romantic interest.

Every so often a brave boy would come up to her with a card and some flowers and try his hand at Maka’s heart. She would be as kind as possible to turn them down but she never missed the way Soul’s lips turned up into a smirk. Soon she was seen as untouchable, no one could woo her or they would be too threatened by Soul to even try.

It was a relief to Soul to see boys not trying to win over Maka but a part of him wondered if she would ever let herself fall for anyone.

“Do we really have to go to this dance?” Soul grumbled as he fixed his tie for the tenth time.

Maka sighed from the bathroom. “Yes Soul. Its our duty as successful students to make an appearance. Plus I heard that there is going to be good food.”

Soul rolled his eyes as he plopped onto the couch. “Its been five years since we graduated, do people even care about us?” He smirked as he heard her scoff from the hallway.

“No, Im sure no one cares about the current death weapon or the amazing person who not only made said weapon but is also one of the best teachers at the academy.”

“Relax Maka, I’m just teasing. Now hurry up or we are gonna be late and I am not about to be scolded by Kid for that.”

“Alright.” She huffed and finished her makeup with a swipe of lip gloss. “I’m coming. How do I look?” She asked.

It was a simple question, one he was used to answering often with a “fine. good. who cares, lets go.” But lately he's been trying to hold in his actual thoughts.

Maka stared at him, those olive green eyes that he became more attracted to lately. There was an untacked about chemistry that had been hovering around them for the past few years and slowly, he was loosing the battle on keeping it in place.

Her dress was black with off the shoulder sleeves and cut off mid-thigh. Something classy and elegant but still fun to twirl in. Her heels boosted her to his eye level and her hair was up in an updo with some blonde framing her face.

“Soul?” She asked him and he cleared his throat before grabbing his keys.

“Uh, you look perfect. We should really be going.” Way to be cool about it, he scolded himself.

Maka grabbed her purse and followed him out the door. Deep down she could feel a small spark of desire flare but quickly, she pushed it down and got into the car.

The dance was nothing less than perfection. Every dish, napkin, balloon and streamer was in a proper place with symmetry as its main function. Kid apparently had spent a week decorating the place himself just to insure that it was nothing less than his standards.

“He really out did himself, huh?” Soul commented as he looked around the room.

“He sure did.” Maka said.

There were a mix of students and faculty on the dance floor already. Kid was standing towards the back with Black Star while Tsubaki, Patty and Liz were chatting near them.

“It brings me back to when you forced me to these thing when we were kids.” Soul said as they made their way across the room.

Maka laughed. “Guess things haven’t changed much.”

They parted ways, Soul going towards the guys and Maka joining the girls.

“Oh Maka you look so cute!” Patty complimented her.

Maka smiled. “You all look so good too.”

Liz finished her drink before looking towards the boys. “I bet Soul likes this number on you.” She winked and Maka took a glass on a near by tray and gulped it down.

“Aww don’t tease the clueless love birds.” Tsubaki giggled.

“There nothing to tell.” Maka tried to reason but none of the girls believed her for a moment. “I’m not even his type.” She rushed out and Liz almost started to choke on her drink.

“Are you kidding? The smartest girl in the school, no the city and she's dumb as a rock when it comes to the love sick scythe.”

Maka swatted Liz’s arm and rolled her eyes. Behind her she heard someone clear their throat.

“Maka?”

She turned to see Peter, a fellow teacher who specialized in weapon training of the lower grade levels.

“Oh hi Peter, how are you?” Maka greeted and the rest of the girls waved politely.

“Good. I was wondering if you wanted to dance maybe?” He asked.

She expected to hear the girls snickering and giggling but instead she was met with silence and a smug cough from Liz.

“Oh, uh.” She started.

“Come on, it will be fun.” He said and took her hand, pulling her to the dance floor without giving her a chance.

A small squeak escaped her lips as she almost crashed into his chest. His hands found their way to her hips as he swayed to the music. Although she had always found their conversations nice and refreshing, he wasn’t the type of man that was, well, her type.

“You know Maka, I’ve always admired you.” He said.

She looked up at him and offered a polite smile. “Oh really?”

“So brave and smart, makes sense that the top teacher was also the top student.”

She laughed slightly. “Well I couldn’t have done it without my partner.”

Peter quickly caught his frown. “Yeah, Soul. Nice dude.”

“He likes to consider himself a ride or die.” She smiled to herself.

Peter grunted something she couldn’t make out and spun her around. She saw Soul walking towards the balcony doors just as she came back to Peter’s front.

“Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me, you know, like a date?”

Maka stopped in her tracks. Date. No. She didn’t want that. She gave up on that a long time ago.

“Look Peter, you’re a nice guy and I have a great time working with you, but I’m just not looking for anything.”

“Oh. I just thought you and I we're getting to be good friends.”

“Well I like chatting with you and grading stuff but I really am not into dating right now. Sorry.”

“I get it, Soul would be jealous.” He scoffed and stepped back. “ I should have listened.”

“Listened to what?” She demanded.

He had the audacity to smile at her. “Oh please. Ever since school, everyone knew that it was you and Soul. I just thought that since nothing has happened yet, you would be on the market.”

That rubbed her the wrong way and her face turned sour.

“Well sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not some slab of meat. See you on Monday.” She scoffed and walked away from him. Instead of going back to her friends, she stormed towards the balcony and greeted the cool air to help calm her down.

“That was quick.” Soul teased and he held out his hand to help her up, making sure her dress didn’t get caught.

“Quick enough for a dance just to ask me out and get mad when I said no.”

Soul turned towards her. “Oh? Another ego bruised?”

“He said he had been waiting for me to be on the market.” She spat. “Disgusting behavior.”

Soul let out a laugh and threw his arm over her shoulder. “Men are stupid, you’re smart to not go near them.”

“You’re not stupid, most of the time.” She mumbled.

“The difference between me and those guys is I’ve had my ass handed to me by you. I know not to mess with the bull. Plus, I actually have respect for you and women, like a cool person should.”

“Yeah. He then said that you would be jealous.”

They watched the sun begin to set slowly. Sometimes Maka wondered what it would feel like to be the sun. Eternal warmth. Being a constant in peoples lives. She looked to Soul who seemed a little lost in thought. That spark coming to the surface and she wondered why she didn’t allow herself to what she wanted.

For years she had made sure that their partnership never faltered from that. She couldn’t risk anything happening to them because she wasn’t sure if she would be able to trust another weapon the way she did with him. She also didn’t want to partner with anyone else.

She enjoyed his company. Enjoyed the way that he could make her smile and feel comfortable. Most importantly, he stuck to his word. She never once felt like he would leave and when he said he was going to be there, she believed him.

Sometimes she wished she could just scream at him and tell him that she had been in love with him for years. That her talks about marriage and love never once applied to him and if he asked, she would be his forever.

“I think he's right.” Soul started. “Its always been you and me. I probably wouldn’t like the attention taken. Stupid, I know.”

“Its not, because I think I know why no one else sparks my interest.” She took a breath and stared at him. Those crimson eyes that held a sense of comfort and form of love that was now crystal clear. “I don’t think anyone else comes close to how I see you. The stolen glances and walking on the eggshells of feelings I pushed down long ago. I get it now Soul. You never asked because you waited for me.”

He let out a laugh from his chest and jumped down before offering his hand. “The moment I met you Maka? I knew we were end game, I was just hoping you saw it too.”

When she looked at Soul, she could sense the last little flames igniting. She could have crushed them, put them out with the bottom of her shoe and never let them rise again. She could of finally removed all the pain her parents marriage caused her and not let anything happen to her heart.

And when she thought that her idea of love was burnt to a crisp, she didn’t realize that those tiny embers had slowly grown into a burning fire. Only one person fanned the flames of her heart and she wonders why she couldn’t see it all those years ago.

But instead she looked into his eyes and saw nothing but trust. His smile was genuine and there was a faint blush on his cheeks as he waited for her answer. Deep down the embers sparked as she took his hand and she felt the fire take over.

She took his hand and he gently pulled her close until their noses touch and he placed a kiss on her knuckles. She could barely hear the music playing inside but it felt like a symphony was surrounding them. He began to hum a tune and stepped to lead her in their dance.

She giggled as he twirled her. It felt freeing, it felt right, it was perfect. He brought her back to his chest and with a big smile, he looked down at her.

“Maka?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

He pulled her close, taking her lips and kissing her just like he wanted to for as long as he could remember. Her lips were soft and he could feel the curl of her lips as she smiled against him.

The fire within her erupted brighter than before. The sense of longing for another began to be fulfilled and any doubts she had began to shrink. Any doubts she had with Soul had been long gone. He was her constant, the person who was always there no matter what. She never had to ask or even say a word for him to be by her side.

Her idea of love had been crushed when she had been a girl. She had thought that no one could change that. Perhaps she would spend her life not knowing what life could have been with a full heart.

But as she held Soul close to her, it became clear that he was the one to hold the match to those embers. He was a reminder that love could exist and be devoted to another.

He was the fire that burned in her heart and she gladly excepted the warmth.

“Hey Soul?” She whispered against his lips.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

She didn’t think his smile could get any bigger as he told her the same and kissed her again.

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I hope you enjoyed :)

#SoMaWeek2021 #SoulxMakaWeek #soulxmaka #soma #soma fic #thewritingstar #souleater #soul eater #Soul eater fanfiction #Soul x Maka

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propshophannah · 4 years ago

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umm i think ppl are over reacting,, az was not being toxic or possesive, he's been pining for elain for 3 years and he now knows she feels the same way for him,, and to the ppl that said that him being turned on was creepy,, wait till we see elains pov bc im pretty sure she was thinking the same. pls it's okay to not like scenes and characters and ships but cmon,, some eluciens are butchering him

Hi Nonnie! I heard that the fandom was getting crazy so I’ve been avoiding looking at posts and stuff. If Az came off creepy it wasn’t because he was turned on. LMFAO. Elain was turned on, too. SHE ALSO INITIATED THE ENTIRE SCENE! We don’t even need her POV to tell us what she wanted either—Maas straight up tells us this in that scene. LOL to everyone who skipped that part and those lines. I mean… it wasn’t even subtext. It was literally written on the page. (I’m writing an analysis of that scene, stay tuned!)

If he came off creepy, it was because he articulated a sense in entitlement—which given the situation wasn’t entirely out of line! Sorry, it just wasn’t.

And here’s why: We’ve all had moments where we are so fucking mad—and everything around us seemed to be going in everyone else’s favor BUT ours—so we got angry. And vengeful. And we got a little lost in those feelings, some of us drowned in them, and we did things and said things and we came off like a fucking asshole. FACTS.

If some people think that’s never happened to them, then they’re either lying to themselves or not paying attention to themselves. It’s as simple as that, Nonnie.

We all do dumb, potentially toxic things when we’re mad or upset. That’s the law of the land and not one single person in the fandom, or the world, is above that. Not. One.

And LETS. BE. REAL. Elain is NOT above reproach for the role she *actively* plays in this cluster fuck. She is just as guilty of stringing Lucien and Az along in that she hasn’t made a decision on whether to accept or reject the mating bond. Or in just saying “Look, Lucy, babe, I don’t like this. It’s stressing me out. Please leave me alone for the next 2.5 years or until I say ‘when’ before you come around again. Thanks!” She doesn’t even need to say it to Lucien. THAT’S THE KICKER. She could tell Feyre. Tell one of the Shadows to tell Feyre or Rhys or Mor and Nesta OR ANYONE with the power to say “Hey, we can’t invite Lucy to Solstice because Elain doesn’t want it.” This is a situation where getting other people to play the bad guy for you, is 100% socially acceptable.

Hell, LUCIEN could be the one to initiate this. To pick up on what Elain IS NOT THROWING OUT and say, “Hey, Rhys, babe. Thanks for the Solstice invite, but I don’t think Elain appreciates my presence, and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. How about I send you her gift from me, then I, like, check in every now and then and you can find a way to let her know I’m in town and if you invite me to dinner, I’ll take that as a sign that she’s okay with me being there for dinner and nothing more. No expectations.” It’s not hard.

(We could argue that Lucien continuing to come around IS JUST AS WEIRD/CREEPY. READ THE ROOM DUDE.)

Now I WILL say that there is an argument to be made that Elain *may* not grasp the gravity of a mating bond because she was born in a different culture. That’s totally fair. BUT she’s had plenty of time to learn what that means having spent so much time around Feyre and Rhys and the others.

So the idea that Azriel is the only one who deserves to be vilified is nonsensical.

ALSO, and this is something I will be including in the analysis I’m working on and will hopefully finish tomorrow (I’m going to break that Az POV down so that everyone and their third cousin, twice removed, can understand), is that AZRIEL’S WHOLE SHTICK IS WAITING. He looooves to wait. Fucking LOVES it. It’s his whole job y’all. It’s weird, and related to his daddy issues when you apply it to females, but it’s his life. He LITERALLY tells us this in ACOSF. Remember at the end when Cassian is complaining about how he HATES spying because he has no patience?

Az is like “It seems you’ve forgotten how much of spying is waiting for the right moment. People don’t engage in their evil deeds when it’s convenient to you.”

Cassian explains why he stopped spying because it “...bored him to death. I don’t know how you put up with this all the time.”

Az says, “It suits me.”

BOOM.

MF BOOOOOM.

Az likes to play the long game. Not saying it’s healthy, but that suits him. He’s good at waiting. He HAD TO BE. HE WAS LOCKED AWAY FOR YEARS AND HAD TO WAIT FOR THE CHANCE TO SEE HIS MOTHER. And the sun. And his hateful brothers. He doesn’t know any better/how else to be. And there is a lot of trauma and conflicting feelings tangled in this.

It’s only creepy when you fail to grasp the nuance. But if you stand too close to a painting, you can’t see the whole thing. Back up, people. Back up.

Az has spent his whole life waiting. It’s how he learned to be. And now that his brothers are all happily mated he’s looking back on all his waiting—on his entire life—and he’s having a crisis. Or a crisis is looming. What has his waiting gotten him? Why has his patience not been rewarded? Why not him?

You combine that thinking with anger and you’ve got a recipe for momentary entitlement. For rage so thick and consuming that you want to punch a wall and work yourself to death because at least when you’re working you can compartmentalize and not deal with the reality that YOUR ENTIRE LIFE MODEL hasn’t worked for you. That you got left behind somewhere and it was your fault.

Az is headed for a mid-life crisis or an emotional breakdown—or some big horrific moment where he realizes he can’t keep doing what he’s been doing, that his entire world is built on a foundation that’s crumbling. And if you’ve never ever had that happen to you, then I’m jealous. And I’m happy for you. Because it’s terrifying. Bloody awful fucking terrifying.

#ACOSF spoilers #acosf spoiler #mini Az Analysis #az POV chapter analysis #Azriel POV analysis #elain x Az #Elain X lucien #Elriel #they're all to blame to some extent #lucien is not innocent here #neither is elain #analysis post

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kinnie-moment · 4 years ago

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SoKi hcs because they are criminally underrated idc

These mfs have so much trauma LOL

Kids always paranoid about becoming a kishin like Asura

Also has nightmares about being kidnapped…… that could not have been a fun experience. I’m sure he wakes up practically trembling.

And Soul is of course still torn up over the black blood and the little demon

#bestievibesonly 😍😍

Soul feels. So inferior to Kid. LIKE HES A MF DEATH GOD HE DID SERIOUS DAMAGE ON THE KISHIN and Soul thinks he’s just some guy

But Kid always notices and knows exactly what to say to Soul. He has a very proper and elegant way of speaking, and that translates into compliments

But when it comes to them getting together!! Its a funny story i will pretend its cannon

It was a school dance. Soul found himself on the balcony as usual, but this time it was Kid who came out to greet him and ask if he was okay

He figured Soul would be dancing with Maka since they came to the dance together, but after speaking to Soul for a minute or to he suddenly realized it wasn’t like that

Eventually, he got Soul to spill that he wanted to dance with someone, he just didn’t think they’d say yes

“I think you should ask them, Soul. Surely they’ll accept it if you approach it properly.”

“Okay pretty boy, wanna dance with me?”

Yeah Kid nearly fell backwards of the balcony

So much?? Just happened???? Being asked to dance??? BEING CALLED PRETTY BOY??????????

He suddenly realizes he forgot to respond so he quickly mutters a small “y-yes.” and Soul thinks it's hilarious.

Kid gets flustered very easily but we’ll come back to that later

Anyways they dance and!!!!! Turns out Liz set the whole thing up and basically told soul that kid liked him LMFAOSKB

As for general relationship hcs:

Kid calls Soul the sweet and tender pet names like “love” and “dear”

But also stuff like fruitcake and dumbass. Lovingly, of course

Oh my god they probably call each other the f slur bye

Soul calls him stuff like “pretty boy” and “kiddo” and Kid rolls his eyes and pretends like he hates it

One time Soul called him some dumb shit like “alive the offspring” and got slapped in the face. He doesn't regret it tho because Kid’s small giggle was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard. He’s down bad yall.

Kid gets flustered. So incredibly easily. And it's super obvious bc mf is so PALE

Soul could whisper something slightly outta pocket and Kid is bright red in a second

Its very funny everyone teases him for it <33333

Tfw ur literally a death god but can't handle holding ur bfs hand

However, Soul can get just as flustered. He's only slightly better at hiding it

Kid has definitely shot Soul in the balls before. Just bc he was being obnoxious

“If you damage anything down there it’s a loss on your part, remember that.”

Soul gets an extra shot in the face for that one

Very chill relationship. They really don't need to constantly drown each other in affection, sometimes just sitting in silence together is enough

Just stuff they'd do even if they weren't together, like sneaking out to the basketball court late at night

“If I win I get to move all the furniture off center” “If I win you shut the fuck up”

I know i said they don't have an incredibly over the top relationship, but there is a lot of reassurance needed with these two

Soul has like,,, the insecure jealousy. He knows his bf is like the hottest guy ever. He knows his bf possesses an immense power and a high status. It seems ridiculous that he’d settle for a guy like soul

But he did. And Kid doesn’t regret it, no matter what Soul thinks

God im just jumping around w these but… onto pda and physical affection!

At first, Kid isn’t big on physical affection. He’s never really gotten it before so he’s like ????? what even is that

He discovers how nice it can be one day when he’s beginning to spiral. Instead of trying to talk to Kid, Soul just gently pulled him closer and rubbed small circles into his back until he had calmed down and Kid was like. oh. oh okay.

So needless to say, he’s very big on affection now. When Soul hugs him he doesn't feel like a god anymore. He doesn’t feel the stress of living up to his father. He can just sink into the feeling of security.

Soul loves to give Kid hugs from behind. Just to flex that he’s taller. Even tho its only by 1 inch

He talks mad shit for a mf that's literally 5’3

LMAO ANYWAYS

They both give me the vibes of….. clingy when sleepy. Kid practically clings to Soul when he’s asleep, and if Soul attempts to get up Kid will just whine and pull him back while he’s in this half asleep state

He’ll never admit to it though.

Soul loves to watch Kid fight. He's just so graceful with each move and it's incredibly badass.

Kid loves to wear Soul’s hoodies around the house. Again, he’s only 1 inch shorter but Soul wears looser clothes so it definitely fits a bit big on him

Soul loves when Kid plays with his hair

Kid loves it to, but at the same time he’s so insecure about his hair he usually prefers to forget about it completely

But if he's had a hard day is he really gonna say no when Soul offers to hold him and rub his hair????? No absolutely not

Who the fuck would say no to that

Ugh i love them

Pov homosexuality

Oooo u wanna be my friend and talk to me about them so bad ooooooo kid kinnies wanna give me validation so bad ooo

Also im only doing self promo bc there’s no SoKi content out there but!!! I have tons of SoKi content on my ao3 (kinnie_moment) and i’m slowly uploading them to my wattpad (kinnie_moment_asf) so feel free to check those out if u want more content!! I love these two sm i doubt i’ll stop writing them anytime soon

#first post how are we #soulxkid #kidxsoul #soul eater #soulevans #soul evans #death the kid #deaththekid #dtk #soul eater death the kid #soki #deathsoul #headcanon #soul evans hc #dtk headcannons #death the kid headcannons #souleaterhcs

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tuanhood · 5 years ago

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alpha

pairing: frat!im jaebeom x reader

genre: lil bit of everything. lil smut, lil angst, maybe lots of fluff, established relationship

warnings: language, cringey frat stuff, public(??) fingering

word count: 4,200+

summary: your boyfriend’s frat doesn’t allow dating outside of greek life. hence the reason you two have had to sneak around for ten months... and hence the reason you’ve somehow found yourself stuck and hiding in a closet.

a/n: wow long time no see! sorry for the delay, I’m really busy/stressing about dissertation stuff lately so updates and writings aren’t going to be frequent. but I really wanted to write this for ya’ll real quick to have SOMETHING, but yeah it’s not edited and NOT very good bc of the quickness. But I hope ya’ll will forgive me :)

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When you woke up this morning, you really didn’t think you would end up in a closet at the Alpha Sigma Phi house.

The space is cramped, dark and a little smelly. Judging by the odor, you guessed that this was the closet that the boys in the house used to throw garbage in whenever they had to “clean” the house. Maybe this situation would have been a little bit better if you had been pushed into the closet that’s on the second floor – that way there would be less garbage and less boy smell. But who were you kidding? There would be a boy smell regardless.

In theory though you really shouldn’t be stuck in a closet at a frat house thinking about which closet you’d rather be in. What had your life become lately?

“Just a little bit longer, okay?” You heard Jaebeom utter through the door. It instinctively made you roll your eyes. The tone of his voice was so nonchalant, as if you weren’t stuck in a small space. But of course, he was on the other side of the door in fresh air, with as much space to roam around as he pleased – he didn’t understand “just a little bit longer” was triggering.

As much as you lo- liked Jaebeom… you weren’t sure if you would be able to hide in small spaces for the entirety of your relationship.

Babe it’s not for our entire relationship… Just until we graduate.

When he had first said that you didn’t really think about the bigger picture. All you had thought about was how happy he made you and how much you loved being with him. And that was the most important thing to you. But lately the sneaking around and the hiding had been a little too much for you – you weren’t sure if you could keep it up for another year… It had already been 10 months and you were at your wits end. Every time you wanted to sit down to have the conversation with Jaebeom – the one where you tell him it’s either the end of hiding or the end of your relationship – he’d give you those eyes, that smile and it would be completely wiped from your thoughts.

Damn Im Jaebeom. You think you fucking love him.

“Jae…” you grumbled, hitting your head against the door a bit. It had already been what… a half hour?

You heard him shush you and another voice emerged from the other side of the door. “Hey man, any particular reason you’ve been standing here?” Jaebeom’s nervous laughter is a giveaway, you just hope that Yugyeom doesn’t pick up on it. “No reason… just… like the space over here… It’s good party watching space.”

There’s silence and you pressed your ear up to the door further, hoping to hear something. You jumped back when you heard your boyfriend’s panicked voice, “what are you doing?”

Yugyeom snorted, “Dude chill… I’m just getting more cups from the closet.”

“Uh… Let me! I’ll get them!”

“What?”

“Yeah no worries dude, I didn’t really do anything to help prep for the party so I might as well get some fucking cups from the closet,” Jaebeom chuckled, his voice shifting to a more normal tone, “to be honest I didn’t really even know this was happening tonight… otherwise…” He drifted off, mumbling the last part to himself. You know he’s referencing the fact that the two of you thought the house would be empty – many of the guys typically going out to a local bar on Thursdays, but to your surprise as you crossed the main foyer in the house, the front door opened with most of the guys in the frat piling through. That led to your push into the closet.

“Yeah well… Red Room was closed because apparently they have a rat problem. I feel like that’s a bunch of bullshit. I mean we go there every week… we would have noticed if there was a rat problem.”

“Maybe they were just good at hiding it.”

There’s a lull in silence and Yugyeom clicked his tongue, as if he thinking deeply about something, “but I guess you wouldn’t know… You really don’t go out with us on Thursdays anymore…” As much as you liked the guys in Jaebeom’s frat – from stories you’d heard through your boyfriend of course – it seemed like they were often pretty slow when it came to certain things. If Yugyeom was starting to get skeptical and began piecing things together then surely the rest of the guys would too.

“Let me get you guys those cups.”

Taking a small step back, you turn to the shelf on your right, finding the red cups almost immediately through the dimmed closet. As the door cracks open slightly, your boyfriend’s long arm appears in the small space, gesturing around – clearly looking for the cups.

“Dude what are you doing?” Yugyeom asked.

“I know where the cups are so why should I go in all the way and get claustrophobic?” You have to cover your mouth to stop yourself from laughing at Jaebeom’s fake explanation.

Yes, because why would anyone ever want to be stuck inside of a closet? Rolling your eyes – happy he can’t see – you thrust the cups forward into his wandering hand. You swear you hear him grunt at your force.

The cups and his hand disappeared along with the small sliver of light that comes from the door being open. “Well… here you go… the cups you wanted.” There’s another pause and you wished you could see what was going on – to know if Yugyeom was buying how uncharacteristically strange Jaebeom was being or if he was still suspicious.

“You should leave your creepy party watching spot and actually join the fun, ya know? Some of the girls from Theta are going to be by soon and I know Amanda’s been asking a lot about you lately.”

Yugyeom’s mention of another girl makes your skin crawl and you’re almost ready to pounce out of the closet and call it a day, but instead you clenched your fists and waited to hear your boyfriend’s response.

“Nah man… I’m good.”

“Come on… how long has it been since you last had any action? I’m pretty sure Amanda would be down to hook up tonight.” Instinctively you felt your hand go to the doorknob, gripping it tightly.

To your dismay Jaebeom says nothing in response and your mind starts running wild thinking about possible nonverbal responses he could have communicated to Yugyeom – perhaps one of them being “yeah I’ll totally bang Amanda tonight.”

And you know what… maybe he should. Maybe it’d be better for him to be with someone he can actually walk around campus with. To be with someone he could actually introduce to his friends. You weren’t any of those things.

The circumstances of your relationship with Jaebeom had been complicated from the beginning. The two of you had met in a random general ed class you were both forced to take for a stupid credit. Never in your life did you think you were going to meet your next boyfriend in “Comparative Post-Communist Politics.” The two of you had the lowest scores in the class and found yourselves bonding over your almost failing midterm grades, but luckily the two of you had passed the course. Thank god for the grading curve.

It had started just that simply – two people who were “class friends.” Nothing more, nothing less. You’d sit next to each other every lecture and laugh over how dumb you both were, but never made efforts to hang out after class or even study together in preparation for exams. It wasn’t until the final day of class that Jaebeom had asked you to get drinks. His request shocked you as you had figured that just like most “class friends” you two would part ways and never see each other again except for the occasional pass by on campus where each of you would squint and wonder how do I know that person? Were they in that one class I took that one time?

You were perhaps even more shocked when you agreed to go.

From then on, the two of you talked about things besides class and got to know each other on a more personal level. You had already known some very basic things about him – such as his affiliation with the Greek system – but soon enough Jaebeom was pouring his heart out to you, and you to him. Both of you admitted that you had never felt this comfortable with someone before.

It was probably you fifth- or sixth-time getting drinks at a secluded place downtown when Jaebeom revealed to you how much he liked you. You felt your heart leap out of your chest and just as you were about to reveal your own confession, he hit you with a “but…”

“but… I can’t technically date you. My frat’s chapter is really strict about dating outside of Greek life. When I was a pledge, they told me that they’ve kicked guys out for going out with girls who aren’t affiliated.”

In any other situation you would have gotten up and said “no thank you” to whoever the guy was, not wanting to waste your time on anything or anyone who prioritized some stupid brotherhood over their feelings for you. But this was Jaebeom… The Jaebeom that you had grown close to over such a short period of time and had told you how much Alpha Sigma Phi meant to him. He had grown up an only child and spent much of his younger years feeling lonely, which was what made him want to rush the frat. He wanted the close experience and to have strong loyalty and ties with the other members – just like with real brothers.

“We can make it work. I really like you too Jaebeom… I’m willing to try this and figure something out…”

At the time… you weren’t sure what “figure something out” really meant – especially since you weren’t supposed to be seen together by literally anyone. Most people on campus knew someone who knew someone that was in Alpha Sig and if anyone saw the two of you together, you’d risk it getting back to the guys at the house. Which was why for 10 months the two of you had been dating in secret – him coming over to yours almost every night and you sneaking over to the house every Thursday when the guys were usually gone until the early hours.

You felt like you were fighting back tears at the thought of Jaebeom with someone else, but maybe it was what was right. You deserved to not be a secret forever – you were in a closet for godssake – and Jaebeom deserved to be with the perfect sorority girl that he could take wherever he wanted without the risk of getting kicked out of his second home. Tightly shutting your eyes, you attempted to stop yourself from crying, but somehow it makes it worse with the first drop rolling down your cheek slowly.

“Baby? Are you crying?”

It’s then that you realized the door had been cracked open once again, Jaebeom looking behind him before slipping in with you, shutting the door tightly. It occurred to you how pathetic you must look, crying in a dim, cramped closet at a frat house.

Quickly, you tried to wipe the tears of your cheek and hiccupped slightly, “N-no I’m not crying. It’s just my allergies with all the dust in here.”

“You don’t have allergies…” He positioned himself closer to you, bringing his own hand up to your face to rest it on your cheek, feeling the wet trails your tears had left behind, “what’s wrong?” Biting your lip, you don’t say anything in the hopes that he’ll drop the subject. Jaebeom knows you well enough to know when you want to move on and not address a topic, but this time he can’t find it in himself to just let it go.

“Y/N tell me.”

The way his thumb continued to gently caress your cheek back in forth, makes you want to close your eyes and pretend you’re anywhere else besides here in this closet having this conversation. You’d rather be with your boyfriend in a place far away from here where you don’t have to hide and you don’t have to worry about perceptions.

“I was just thinking about what Yugyeom said about the girl from Theta.”

“Baby… I would never go behind your back and do something with her-”

You sighed deeply and felt your stomach drop as you kept wedging your way further and further into the conversation you had once been wanting to have. Not seeing his sparkling eyes and that look in bright light made the words somewhat easier to get out. “I know you would never do that… I just think sometimes maybe it’s best if you had someone you could actually be seen with.”

Jaebeom doesn’t say anything, because it’s at that moment he feels his own stomach churn and feel sick. Making out your saddened face in the dark closet and listening to your words he realizes what he’s done. The way you had said “if you had someone you could actually be seen with” as if there was something wrong with you. As if you were less then. He wanted to kick himself for making you feel like that when it was in fact his fault and his own issues that stopped the two of you from being together publicly. Was brotherhood really so important to him when he was at risk of losing the person he loves?

Loves.

Reality hit him again.

“No,” Jaebeom finally said shaking his head, “I don’t want anyone else. I only want you and I’m sorry for making you feel like this. You’ve been so willing to hide this just because I’m a fucking idiot… because you understand how much this all meant to me.”

“Meant?”

He delicately brings his hands to rest at your waist, leaning close enough forward until you can feel his breath on your face, “I have something in my life that’s more important than getting kicked out of a stupid frat. I-I love you Y/N.”

You don’t answer him for a moment and he feels like he’s going to collapse at first from your lack of response. He wonders if maybe he had read the last 10-months completely wrong or if you had finally had enough with his bullshit and he was just too late. Jaebeom feels all of these worries and doubts fade away when you lean forward to press your lips against his. “I love you too,” you mumbled against his lips and you felt your boyfriend smile, his grip tightening on your waist and bringing you even closer to his body until you’re flush against one another.

You felt one of his hands drift down from your waist to the hem of your skirt, slowly caressing your thigh and slipping itself underneath the material until it’s hitched up above his hand. Removing yourself from his lips, you let out a lustful sigh to let him know how much you want him to do what he’s thinking about doing. As he rests his forehead against yours, he looks down between your two bodies, his hand going to your panties, gently playing with the waistband – snapping it back and forth gently to tease you.

“Do you want me to take back that I love you?” You asked playfully.

Jaebeom laughed, “you wouldn’t dare.”

Just as you’re about to respond with a bratty “try me,” you feel him dip his hand underneath the now damp material. He smiled at your caught off guard reaction. His fingers brushed your core, his index finger moving along your slit as he gathered your juices on his finger before he brought it to his lips and sucked them gently. You watched him in the dim light and felt yourself somehow grow more wet than before. He moved his fingers back down, his thumb pressing up against your clit and you felt yourself suck in a breath at the feeling, before two of his digits pushed into your completely. With the small amount of space, you had, you lifted your hips in an effort to get more of him inside of you and he chuckled at the action.

“We have all night baby girl, don’t worry. I take care of you, always.”

You exhaled at the feeling of his thumb massaging your clit and his fingers began to pump into you at a slow rhythmic pace. He watched you for a moment wondering how he got so lucky before returning his lips back to yours.

A groan arose in your throat and against Jaebeom’s lips as he curled his middle finger into you, hitting that spot that always made you so weak and you feel your thighs begin to twitch as you near your high. Sometimes it amazed you how quick he could make you reach your release, but he already knew everything else about you so well it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he would excel at this as well.

When he picked up the pace of his fingers fucking into you, continuing to hit your g-spot each time, you felt yourself quickly come apart and your walls clench around his fingers tightly. You dropped your head down to his shoulder and felt like there wasn’t any breath left in your body as you rode out the waves of your orgasm, Jaebeom making sure not to overstimulate you and slowing his fingers down. When he finally removes his hand from you, you feel so empty almost like your body just wants to be that close to him all the time – not even in a sexual way.

When you finally feel strong enough, you bring your head off of Jaebeom’s shoulder and wrap your hands around his neck tightly, bringing him in for another kiss.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. I never want to stop saying it and I never want to stop hearing it.”

With arms still around his neck, you gently play with the hair at his nape. You feel happier than you’ve felt in a long time – which was saying something considering how happy your boyfriend had made you the past 10 months.

“Should we get out of this closet?” Jaebeom asked with shut eyes, feeling relaxed every time he’s under your touch.

“Now? You want everyone to see us now?”

He shrugged, “They’re going to find out either way so might as well just do it now. I just hope they give me time to get my stuff before they kick me out.” You feel yourself frown at his candor and the thought of Jaebeom losing the sense of belonging he had gained from being in Alpha Sig, but you remember his previous assurances. You had one another and everything was going to be fine.

Just as you’re about to respond to him, you’re interrupted by a sudden emergence of light into the closet signaling the opening of the door. You and Jaebeom both freeze when you see Yugyeom and some of the other brothers behind him.

“Can you two just come out already?”

It’s almost as though both you and your boyfriend had forgotten all of your words. Instead you stare at one another with wide eyes.

“We’re tired of all this waiting. Just come out and introduce us to your girlfriend already man,” Yugyeom whined.

This was embarrassing. Had they been… listening?

“Listen ‘Gyeom I know you chose today’s date in the pool, but that doesn’t mean you win the bet,” one of the guys from behind him said.

Yugyeom lets out a large groan and turns to the member, “what? Why not? I chose today and he was going to do it today! I swear!”

“Yeah but you ruined it by opening the door! You pretty much made the whole thing void… Haven’t you heard of like… not ruining the controlled variable in the experiment or whatever the fuck?”

“The controlled variable was the door? That doesn’t make sense. You’re as dumb as a bag of bones dude,” Yugyeom snorted, turning back to you and Jaebeom. It’s then that you feel relief as Jaebeom finally cleared his throat to say something to the many pairs of eyes fixated on you both, “can you guys please explain to me what’s going on here?”

Yugyeom rolled his eyes at Jaebeom as if it was the most obvious thing in the world to understand, “we had a bet going for when you would finally tell us about your secret girlfriend… Who to be honest isn’t really a secret. I sit next to Y/N’s friend in Econ… class friends ya know.”

You felt your mouth go dry. If they knew about Jaebeom dating an unaffiliated girl this entire time why did they let it play out for so long? Why didn’t they say something to him and make him break up with you or kick him out of the frat? Were they trying to torture the two of you for the longest amount of time possible?

It’s then when you really take in each member of Alpha Sig’s face and you see no malice or disgust at the fact that you’re not a non-affiliate. They almost seemed… happy.

You felt Jaebeom take his head into yours and he sighs once more before looking back to the guys, “listen… Y/N is my girlfriend and has been for the last 10 months… I’ve put her through so much shit and made her sneak around which she did willingly because of how amazing she is. I’ve never felt so loved and cared for by someone before and I can’t put her through more shit that’s going to make her feel less then she is. I love her and I’m sorry you guys can’t accept that. I can be out of here by tomorrow.”

As Jaebeom goes to move the two of you out of the closet, Yugyeom places his hand up causing you both to stop in your tracks.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Jaebeom looks to you and then back to Yugyeom, “the rule… that we’re not allowed to date anyone who’s not affiliated. When we were pledges they told us they’ve kicked guys out for breaking the rule… remember?”

The boys in front of Jaebeom all look at him blankly until Yugyeom begins to laugh, the rest of the guys following him until you have approximately 6 frat guys laughing in your faces. Looking at your boyfriend his eyebrows are furrowed. You can’t tell if he’s confused at their reaction or annoyed.

It takes a moment for Yugyeom and the boys to finally stop laughing, “Jae… are you joking? Is that why you haven’t introduced her to us? Because of that stupid rule?”

“Yeah…”

Coming closer, Yugyeom placed his hand on Jaebeom’s shoulder, “Dude… that rule is not real. They’ve never kicked anyone out over dating someone who’s unaffiliated. Sure, the upperclassmen then didn’t want us to date someone not in an org, but they would have never made us leave… That kinda goes against the whole brotherhood thing. Besides, now we’re the upperclassmen and we just care that we’re all happy. You included.”

You felt like you could run a marathon at the amount of energy and feelings coursing through your body. You wanted to hug all of the semi-strangers in front of you, but also you wanted to hit Jaebeom for thinking that rule was a real thing when it was in fact… apparently not. In the back of your head, you make a mental note to lecture him on next time it never hurts to ask questions before you get into a secret 10-month relationship that might not need to be a secret.

“Thanks guys,” Jaebeom smiled at his brothers, with his hand still holding onto yours, caressing your smooth skin with his thumb.

“Now let’s continue this party, shall we?” Yugyeom yelled loudly as the rest of the guys cheer back in response, most of them heading back to the main living space until it’s just you, Jaebeom and Yugyeom.

The younger boy shakes his head, “I still can’t believe you were in that closet the entire time… which reminds me. I am never going in there again after the actions that occurred in there,” you felt your face grow hot at his admittance that he had heard or at least knew what had happened in the closest just moments before his grand entrance.

“I still can’t believe you knew the entire time and didn’t say anything!” You whined.

“I was expecting you to jump out as soon as I mentioned Amanda… That’s why I brought it up. Which by the way man,” Yugyeom turned to Jaebeom, “none of the girls at Theta give a shit about you.”

“That’s totally okay. There’s only one girl I want to give a shit about me,” Jaebeom smiled proudly placing his arm around you in front of Yugyeom and everyone else at the party. He relishes in how comfortable it feels to finally be like this with you in front of some of the most important people in his life. Besides you of course.

You hummed in delight and nuzzled your head against his arm, into his shoulder, “She doesn’t just give a shit about you. She kind of loves you too.”

“Just kind of?”

“Nah with her full heart.”

#got7 fanfic #got7 smut #got7 #jaebeom #jaebeom fanfic

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justsomefluff · 5 years ago

Text

ATEEZ Reaction to You Falling Asleep in the Car

Summary: You are riding back from dinner with your boyfriend and can’t seem to keep your eyes open. Here’s how he reacts.

A/N: So, I did a little lookin’ over the responses to my last writings and the more informal style seemed to get the best results. That’s fun for me because I get to add more of myself into my writing I feel. So, if you don’t want all of my stuff to be like that, send in a request and let me know how you want me to do a particular fic.

Hongjoong:

Ok so Joongie

This fool doesn’t even notice when your head drops onto his shoulder

Why?

Homie is dead asleep too

But the driver gently calls to him

Like we here kiddo hand over the money

And he’s like oh alright

Joong only notices that you’re asleep when he goes to pay and

Cant?? Move?? His arm??

So he gets smushy and he's like oh nu

Doesn’t want to wake you up

Wants to be cute and carry you but he has to pay too and AGH

Stress

So eventually he has to wake you up

He just kinda wiggles in his seat until the movement wakes you up

And then you wake up embarrassed because the driver is staring at both of you like what fresh hell

When Hongjoong finally pays you can’t get out of the car fast enough

He’s whining all the way to your apartment about how he didn’t want to wake you up and boohoo

You’re like okay, Wiggles

But both of you just crash onto the couch once you’re inside and all is forgiven

Seonghwa:

(LOOK AT THE MELANIN HERE WOOOOO)

ok this man

I feel like he’s a closest romantic

so when you’re awake he’s like ew no im not soft who said that??

but he lie

if you fall asleep on him in the car he notices right away

because he was staring at you already

Creep

and he’s all googoo eyed and everything and smiling super wide

when you arrive at your destination that’s when the romantic side slips out a lil bit

he’s like ok obviously we are gonna carry them

you’re his babie

so he slides his arms around you

Hug and roll technique from FRIENDS kinda deal

tries to make a super natural transition from car to his arms

king pulls it off

you stay asleep until you’re inside and he’s like

SUCCESS

and he’s all smug and proud of himself when he’s tucking you into bed

but lil does he know

you were awake the whole time

pretend to be asleep so your mom will carry you to bed kinda vibe

Momma Hwa or boyfriend Hwa? you can decide

So either way once he’s got you all bundled in the blankets

you’re soft and sleepy but smiling because

YOU CAUGHT HIM

he’s romantic after all

Yunho:

big squishy is so in love with you stop

he’s giggling at the way your face is smushed against the window

How can you sleep like that???

so he’s taking pictures of you, that you will hate if you ever find out he took them

and when you get wherever you’re going

he’s not confident that he won't hurt the both of you if he tries to carry you without you waking up

so he just pushes his nose into your cheeks and just gives Eskimo kissies until you wake up giggling

you have to push him off of you because he just can't stop

Yunnie really can’t get enough of you I mean seriously

seeing you sleepy always makes him soft and he shall remain this way for the rest of the time you’re together

and probably a little longer after you part

so for the rest of your time together he’s all goofy smiles and starry eyes

absolutely insistent on being attached to you 100% of the time

whether its cuddles if you’re at home

or just constant hugs

like homeboy won't let you WALK

either way you love it and you can’t lie

love him please

Yeosang:

ok I know this is a fluffy reaction but here comes some crack

Yeosang is gonna be straight up annoying

he’s poking your cheeks to wake you up

does not care how cute you are he just can’t resist bothering you

he cannot express adoration like the rest of us okay

so he’s gonna torture you instead

he’s taking videos of you drooling on him and making fun of you the whole time

will not let you live it down later on

he does keep any and all videos like that private though because you’re still his baby and he doesn't want you to be too embarrassed

but he definitely wants to make you flustered

loves to tease you

so you’re dosing off in the car and Sangie is like !!!!

perfect time to strike

so thats when he starts making fun of you and not letting you sleep

but if you’re pouty enough then he might start to feel bad

to make it up to you he will pull your head back down to his shoulder and stroke your hair the rest of the car ride

gives you little kisses on the top of your head

but when you fall asleep again he just opens his phone and laughs at all the dumb videos he took of you

San:

you’re Yunho

if you get sleepy he will immediately assume it’s time for cuddles

he does not care that you are in the back of a taxi

he does not care that the driver is low-key staring at the two of you, hoping nothing nasty starts up

I digress

Sannie notices that your eyelids are drooping and your head is bobbing up and down as you fight to stay awake

Cue soft San

he gently pulls you into a hug

highboy uncomfortable since you’re in a cab, and seated

but you’re too tired and he’s too soft

so neither of you care

San’s giving you feather-light kisses all along your cheek and temple

maybe even gives you a couple neck kisses to hear you whine at him

nuzzling x10000000000000

rubbing his nose in your hair, along your jaw, around your ears, down your neck

anywhere he can reach really

makes you tingly and happy and he knows it

so you get a lil giggly

kinda sleep-drunk and then he’s love-drunk

He’s a cheeseball but he knows how to make you feel loved so who cares

Mingi:

he’s kinda oblivious to you falling asleep

but if you fall onto him he’s SO AWKWARD

kinda wheezy, embarrassed laughter

you just made his heart swell a lil too fast is all

give him a minute to recover, okay?

once he is finally back to the land of the living

he’s gonna smile so wide

something about seeing you sleep makes him so confident in your relationship

sleeping is so vulnerable and he loves that you trust him enough to share that vulnerability with him like this

and then he’s rubbing his cheek on the top of your head

and wrapping an arm around you to keep you close and warm

so attentive to you

rubbing your arm if he thinks you feel cold

making sure you’re in a comfortable position

doesn’t want you to wake up stiff or anything

will gently move you if your neck is bent at an awkward angle

if he's sleepy too, he’ll press as close to you as he can

kinda difficult to do with seatbelts on but he’s gonna make it work believe me

and then he just passes out

and we all know how he gets when he’s tired so you end up being the one to drag him inside later on

Wooyoung:

Wooyoungie

baby

I feel like his energy is so high that if you want to sleep in the car with him, he’s gonna have to be sleepy too

so since both of you are sleepy

you’re smushed together in the backseat, heads resting on top of each other

and I feel like he wants kisses a lot when he’s sleepy

you’re both on the verge of sleep but he’s like waittt

“it’s nap time Wooyoungie”

“kiss first”

kisses you super soft

fluffy lips I can't

he kisses you so soft and deep

way too intimate a moment for the backseat of a stranger’s car

but whatever

kisses you like 25 times

super slow, and when you finally pull away he’s whining anyway bc

“wanted more”

but sleep is calling and you just can't

he ends up falling asleep first anyway

kinda pouty, but he’s happy overall because he got his kisses

even if it was fewer kisses than he wanted

Jongho:

Jongho highkey does not know what to do when you fall asleep on him

Will definitely decide to carry you inside and not wake you up

makes that decision before you even get close to your destination

but he’s a prince so he always thinks ahead

strokes your hair a lot and smiles super soft

hums a little to himself

gives you a couple kisses here and there because he just cant help himself

honestly really struggles with the fact that you both aren't cuddled up in bed or on the couch or something

wants cuddles so bad

but he’s kinda reserved so he’s too shy to smush himself against you with the driver right there

shy about PDA in general, but sleep is even more special to him I think

eventually finds a compromise to keep himself happy until you're home

just laces his fingers with your and kisses your knuckles

it’s bread crumbs, I know, but he’s too shy to do more

itching to get where youre going

the quicker you get there, the quicker the day is over and he can cuddle the living daylights out of you until he’s satisfied

#choi jongho #jung wooyoung #song mingi #choi san #kang yeosang #jeong yunho #park seonghwa #kim hongjoong #ateez #ateez reactions #ateez fluff #ateez imagines #ateez fanfic #imagines #fluff #kpop #fanfiction #atiny #ateez scenarios

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dadgonedeku · 5 years ago

Text

Bnha Comfort Headcanons

❣️✨~SFW & Gender Neutral!Reader (S/O)

❣️✨~Warnings: mentions of panic & anxiety attacks, nightmares, includes cursing, and includes mentions of other potentially sensitive and personal topics, so please if you’re sensitive to stuff like this then read at your own risk!

❣️✨~Characters Included: Baku, Kiri, Todo, Deku, Mirio, Tamaki, Nejire, Kami, Sero, & Shinsou

❣️✨~Hello! I just felt like writing some fluffy comfort hcs since we’re currently all dealing with rough times and a global pandemic to top it off, so have these! I hope they help at least a little because I know they helped me when writing them!

❣️✨~Also I honestly had no idea what emoji to use for Sero? I went through like four different ones before deciding on a juice box because he was drinking one in one of Kiri’s flashbacks. IM SO SORRY I- IT WAS TWO IN THE MORNING I APOLOGIZE I PROMSIE ILL CHANGE IT-

Katsuki Bakugou💥

💥~ Believe it or not, but he understands what you’re going through, whether it be emotional or physical stress, or even anxiety and panic attacks, he knows the feeling of them all.

💥~ He can most likely relate to nearly everything that can cause those feelings, and he knows that familiar feeling of emptiness, heartache or sadness, and stress above all.

💥~ And truth be told, he’s a hothead and can definitely be a huge asshole sometimes, but with you it’s different.

💥~ He never wants to see you hurt, never wants to see you in discomfort, and certainly never wants to see you in a situation that’s unsafe for you.

💥~ So when he walks in on you crying or you come to him wanting to talk about an issue, he won’t admit it but he’s worried for you, and wonders how he can help in any way. Also he immediately threatens to blow someone through a roof.

💥~ He cherishes you and loves every part of you, it’s not like he’d just ask any random extra to be his s/o, and in all honestly he was the one who asked you to be with him in the first place.

💥~ He’ll hold you close and pet your head, and if you’re crying he’ll bring up his thumb to your face to dry your tears and cradle your face. “Oi, none of that dumbass.”

💥~ You two will stay like that for however long you need or want to, he honestly doesn’t mind, he just wants to make sure you’re okay.

💥~ He’ll tell you how strong, beautiful, and amazing you are, and that he loves every inch of you with everything he has.

💥~ Overall just suavely hypes you up and cradles you in his hold, and won’t even care if you end up falling asleep or passing out on him from emotional exhaustion. He’ll just carry you to bed and stay with you, pressing soft kisses to your forehead and running his fingers through your hair, wrapping his strong and safe arms around you as you rest.

Eijirou Kirishima🥊

🥊~ He feels so guilty and awful that he even allowed you to feel like this in the first place.

🥊~ Like what kind of man ever allows his s/o to be in a situation like that? How could he have ever slipped up and looked over your feelings?

🥊~ Is instantly at your side if you’re upset or crying, and will not hesitate to cuddle you until the end of time. “Gosh I’m so sorry s/o! What’s wrong? Please tell me!”

🥊~ He’s the empathic type, and in all honestly he’ll probably cry if he sees you crying.

🥊~ He’ll make you stop whatever you’re doing and focus on him and whatever he’s saying to try and comfort you, and will apologize for allowing you to even feel that way in the first place.

🥊~ He understands being stressed out or exhausted, and he can relate to the feeling of overwhelming anxiety or sadness.

🥊~ He’ll hold you close or snuggle up with you, securing you in a protective hold as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear.

🥊~ He’ll tell you just how much you make his heart flutter with everything you do and just how stunning you are to him.

🥊~ Will rub your thigh or run his hands through your hair or pet your head until you fall asleep in his arms.

🥊~ Ends up staying and sleeping with you, because it wouldn’t be manly to leave his s/o alone after they had just broke down in front him, plus he just always wants to make sure you’re okay.

Shouto Todoroki❄️🔥

❄️~ He doesn’t completely understand? Like he hasn’t really dealt with having to comfort someone else before?

🔥~ But he gets the feeling of having panic or anxiety attacks or the feelings of being overwhelmed or sad, and longs to help you get rid of them like he’s trying to with his.

❄️~ Immediately asks if you’re physically hurt or in pain, and if you say you aren’t then it’s an instant sigh of relief for him.

🔥~ If you’re crying he will hold you to his chest and warm you up or cool you down, offering a reassuring sensation that relaxes your tense muscles.

❄️~ He will wipe away your tears and press short kisses to your forehead, and will ask you if you want or need to talk about it with him.

🔥~ He will talk you through it and tell you how he has dealt with it or ways that could most likely help you.

❄️~ He will offer to stay as long as you need to want him there, and he silently pleads to himself that you don’t kick him out or ask him to leave, he knows you won’t, but he can’t help but ponder.

🔥~ He seems calm and collected on the outside, and sometimes that is indeed the case, but other times, he’s always worried sick, and every once in a while that leads to his quirk acting up slightly.

❄️~ You don’t mind though, you understand and you try to explain your situation the best you can for him so he can do his best to help you.

🔥~ Overall the two of you end up falling asleep with you on top of him, curled up against a wall as he holds you close. “I love you s/o, never forget that.”

Izuku Midoriya🥦

🥦~ He’s honestly so distraught he doesn’t even know what to do.

🥦~ It takes him a bit to get over the preemptive panic fit before he finally realizes that you need him to calm you down and not vice versa. “I’m so sorry s/o! Please tell me what’s wrong! I want to help in any way I can.”

🥦~ He’ll apologize multiple times, even if it wasn’t his fault, he just feels so upset and guilty that he can’t help but feel somewhat responsible.

🥦~ He’s crying, definitely crying, even if you aren’t, he still will, always, every damn time.

🥦~ He can relate if you have nightmares or panic attacks, and understands how they could make you feel because he’s had his fair share too.

🥦~ He’ll hold you close and mutters things about how he’ll always protect you and will never let anything happen to you or hurt you ever again.

🥦~ He also forces you to take it easy for the next couple of days, because it’s important to take care of yourself too, and our boi had to learn that the hard way.

🥦~ He never wants to see you hurt or upset, so he’ll do anything to make you feel better.

🥦~ He’ll break the rules and stay with you in your dorm for the night or whenever you need or want him to, when it comes to your health and safety he’ll break every rule in the book.

🥦~ The day after he’ll give you little surprises like your favorite snacks or maybe even a hoodie of his that he knows you love.

Hitoshi Shinsou💜

💜~ Honestly doesn’t know what to do at first.

💜~ ‘Shit, they’re upset, oh fuck they’re crying, fUcK whAt do I dO”

💜~ He tries his best, he knows he’s not the most understanding or the most empathetic person, but he’ll still try his hardest for you.

💜~ He understands if you’re having anxiety attacks or are just reacting to being overwhelmed, and he also heavily relates to lack of motivation.

💜~ So if you’re suffering from any of them, he’ll have his own way of helping you through it.

💜~ He will hold you in his arms, rocking back and forth slightly. He’ll try and crack dumb jokes to make you laugh, or tell you stupid stories about himself and the antics that in sued.

💜~ He’ll pet your head and call you ‘kitten’ regardless of your gender. “There there kitten, everything’s gonna be okay.”

💜~ He dries your tears and always finds a way to cheer you up, and will sometimes even turn on a ‘sad hours’ playlist for the two of you to listen to while you hold eachother.

💜~ He offers to drown one of his hoodies in that cologne you like for you to borrow and wear, and you happily agree.

💜~ If you fall asleep on him he just carries you to bed, gets in with you, tucks himself in and cradles you in his arms, never letting go and eventually falling asleep himself.

Denki Kaminari⚡️

⚡️~ The same as shinsou honestly.

⚡️~ ‘Shit, what the fuck what the fUcK why they’re cRyInG whAT dO I dO?!’

⚡️~ He does his best, and he can understand having anxiety or going through a situation that’s overwhelming, but that’s about it. “I’m so sorry s/o, I had no idea, please just tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.”

⚡️~ He just wants to be there with you and make sure you’re okay in the end, and won’t hesitate to blow off his friends if it means that he can help you out.

⚡️~ If he somehow can’t be there for you he will barrage you by sending you memes or voice attachments of him saying stupid shit to make you laugh.

⚡️~ He will hold you close and play with your hair, and he will offer to get you food or drinks in hopes to make sure that one of the reasons you’re upset isn’t because you’re hungry.

⚡️~ He will gush about how much he loves you and how whipped he is for you, and will even go as far as to call himself a simp.

⚡️~ Will not hold back in exposing his friends and their stupid antics in the hopes to make you laugh at least a little.

⚡️~ He assures you that everything will be okay and he will press gentle kisses to your face or the top of your head.

⚡️~ The two of you somehow or someway end up dying laughing while playing video games or making tiktoks at two in the morning, that’s just the magic of Kami.

Hanta Sero🧃

🧃~ He’s honestly really upset for you at first...

🧃~ Like who hurt you? Who’s gotta pay the price? (Highkey Bakugou too but-)

🧃~ He walks in so worried for you, his heart racing and his stomach feels like it’s in his throat.

🧃~ Immediately hugs you and tells you it’s gonna be okay, asks you what happened and why you’re going through this. “I just- fuck s/o, I don’t know what to do, please tell me what’s wrong.”

🧃~ If you tell him what’s going on he tries his best to give you good advice, or also finds a way to say that he understands, which honestly, he probably doesn’t. (At least not fully)

🧃~ There’s like a 45% chance that he will cry, even if you aren’t. He’s just so heartbroken to see you the way you are and he can’t help but feel super emotional too.

🧃~ Offers to go out and get take out or some other food for you both, if you accept then he’s back in seconds to minutes, but if you decline that’s okay too.

🧃~ He pulls you to his chest and tries his best to crack a stupid joke or two in an attempt to make you laugh.

🧃~ He’s the type to praise you to no end, constantly hyping you up whether you need it or not.

🧃~ He loves you with his whole heart, and ends up staying with you for the rest of the day or night until the next morning.

Mirio Togata🌻

🌻~ Mirio is like the ultimate sweetheart, so when you’re upset or if you tell him you’re crying or dealing with a lot, he’s there for you in what feels like seconds.

🌻~ He walks in with a package of your favorite snack food and one of his hoodies that you gladly accept, and as soon as he sees you his heart drops to his stomach.

🌻~ He never wants to see you hurt or upset, and honestly he probably won’t completely understand, but he will do the best he can regardless.

🌻~ He’s instantly engulfing you in a strong and safe hug, his scarred arms wrapping around your neck and the small of your back, and you can’t help but be showered with warmth as soon as you touch him.

🌻~ He’ll softly sing or hum a tune in your ear as you snuggle up to him and softly cry or rest your head against his chest.

🌻~ He’s always showing off that beautiful smile of his to you, and will do whatever he can to make you smile back.

🌻~ He carries you to bed and then repositions to where both of you laying on your side facing eachother, as he wraps his frame around yours.

🌻~ He will pet your hair and assure you that’s everything will be okay, and how he will do anything to make it better.

🌻~ Definitely the type to make you laugh almost instantly, by either telling you stupid puns or sharing even more stories of his misadventures with his quirk.

🌻~ He will gush about how beautiful and amazing you are, and how he’s so lucky to have you in his life. He will say that you inspire him to be better and get stronger so he can keep you safe and sound, and all of those are true. “You’re just so amazing s/o, and I can’t help but fall more in love with you everyday.”

Tamaki Amajiki🐙

🐙~ He completely understands, and has most likely been in the same situation at least once before in his life.

🐙~ He deals with anxiety too, so he knows how it feels and he never ever wants you to go through it too.

🐙~ So if you text or call him he’s at your door in seconds, or if you just tell him in person you’re immediately wrapped in his comforting and safe hold.

🐙~ He tells you how strong you are, and how you never cease to amaze him, he gushes about how beautiful you are and how lucky he is to have you as his s/o.

🐙~ If you cry he’ll likely tear up or cry with you, or he will just lower his voice and hold you even tighter.

🐙~ The two of you end up in a position on a couch or on a bed where you’re laying on top of him with your face buried in his neck, facing away from him as he holds you close to his chest, pressing sweet and short kisses to your cheek or head every once and a while.

🐙~ Talks about how he’ll always protect you and keep you safe while playing with your hair. “I’ll do anything to keep you safe sunshine, please never forget that.”

🐙~ He most likely will wrap you in a safe blanket burrito as he holds you, and he will tell you cute or funny stories about you and him or his adventures with the big three.

🐙~ Overall he says he understands, and assures you that he will always be there or encourages you to talk through it with him, however if you say no, he won’t push it, but instead will say that he’s always around if you ever decide that you do want to talk.

🐙~ The two of you end up falling asleep on top of eachother, with Tamaki’s hands on your head and waist, and your arms on his chest or neck.

Nejire Hado💎

💎~ She is such a sweetheart, and despite her seemingly constant bubbly nature, she can still relate if you’re going through anxiety or if you’re overwhelmed by something.

💎~ She’s by your side in an instant, and immediately engulfs you in a comforting hug.

💎~ If you are smaller than her she’ll just cuddle you as you sit in her lap or rest your head on her chest and entangle your legs with hers. If you’re taller than her then she’ll just curl up in your lap like a little kitten and wrap her arms around your neck.

💎~ She offers to go get your favorite snacks or drinks, and if you decline she’s okay with that, and if you agree, then she’s all for it and she’s back in flash.

💎~ She’ll hold you and run her fingers through your hair, and if you’re crying she’ll dry your tears, tell you how beautiful you are, and then flash you that shining smile of hers.

💎~ Asks you to close your eyes and focus on her voice as she tries to calm you down the best the can while she holds you and rocks you back in forth in her arms. “Don’t worry s/o, everything will be okay just wait and see!”

💎~ She will massage your back, neck, or your shoulders to keep the tension away.

💎~ She will try to make you laugh by telling ridiculous stories about her adventures with Tamaki and Mirio, which of course always seem to make you laugh.

💎~ She just gushes about how amazing and beautiful you are to her, and that she will always help and be there for you when you need it.

💎~ If you end up falling asleep she’ll just smile and move you to a more comfortable sleeping position, or she’ll carry you to bed and snuggle up to you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear as she plays with your hair.

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

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So I LOVE the trope of unrequited love in romance. Anyway I like this line because this is sort of interesting and important.

Frankly to MOI it is cowardly (and this isnt a bad thing; all our good strengths are also bad and some of the things we do in times of stress or as a reaction to our mental whatever isnt great! It's fine) to stay in that type of love so long. But it is soooo comforting to be uncomfortably still. Your identity is this thing you have been using as almost a crutch. Except that is soooo bad because stuff like this happens.

My fav trope in this is that the person on the receiving end of the love (but not being love bombed which is a fine line) comes to realize how much they love the other person. However CONFLICT! Because now they have this person. They have what they want. what they thought they wouldnt get or didnt deserve or something equally as sad and not self-serving. it’s selfish in all the waysy that you are intentionally ignoring yourself! be selfish for you! seriously! anyway so now the other person now has to pave their way TRULY thinking about themselves. Where Shu Yi spent years developing with his friends, GSD had more responsibility. A focus on like everything but an emotional self idk. Which is fine whatever the story goes through this that’s not my point.

Now that you have put such a stock in someone pretty selflessly and sadly and just all kinds of girl WYD right, how could you possibly be secure in them wanting you? I’ve yet to see this not come up in this trope (even if it’s not done well) because it’s pretty much built into the story.

and i really like that conflict because it shows us that the character who has all thsi love to give actually managed to cultivate their own life while thinking of this person as a prize that they could get if theyre good enough. but the pain of knowing that’s not how it works.

now that we’re all over the hump (i could talk about the stupidity of miscommunication but whatever lmao) i’m not as mad at his dumb fuckin decisons (gsd) cos im like well yea. you would be insecure. the person with the perceived most love is the most unsure of the thing they claimed to have wanted the most. and I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEE IT especially ESPECIALLLLLLLLY when the noble idiocy trope comes from the person who was in love and they literally underesstimate how anyone could love them back as hard and it ends up being super hurtful to the other person because it shows the insecurity and how their love was also a mirage bc they used it.

shin hye sun is in this weekend drama from 2017? she’s this teacher and she gets together with this famous golfer. i LOVE them together. he ends up falling for her and chasing her because she’s like (run, duck, cover, run lmao) and also in...unrequited love with his brother. and at one point all the familial mixups are revealed (it’s a lot i love it!) and she gets extremely upset at the problems at first but then at the fact that he couldn’t tell her what happened and they couldn’t figure it out together. it’s like seeing “i love you just as much, how can you not see that?: and having the person realize just how fucking sad and weird it is to live your life the way you have with this idea in your head. i love jealousy incarnate for that reason too (but also im a GHJ and JJS stan.) it’s just so GOOOOD being unsure and ufcked up about it.

not that his life is regretful just that the love you had wasnt exactly real for you and wasnt really going to be real for you? so now that it is you have to manage your real expectations in the NOW not that projection.

i would honestly be so furious at gsd in general but also with this added layer. because you don’t give a choice to your partner (do not take away my free will i will scream) and then the partner is like “uHHHHHHHH ok so this is what we call a relationship and i know you may not know what that means but part of it is that i, too, share your feelings and would like to be privvy to the decisions you make on our behalf. i do not appreciate the implication that you can’t trust my love. if you could revise thank you.” that makes your partner feel shitty too! like the idea that they will leave you in the lurch can’t boost the confidence of the person who is begging you to accept it back and trust it. understand it. so yea in his mind it wasnt enough or true and it makes sense and this is why we have to teach children to not have idols and stuff. i coudlnt do this it would be so much pressure to do. even loving someone i think is awesome woudl jsut be too painful. i know i wouldnt be able to handle it. theyre young and he probably couldnt deal with the intense feelings of it all. i just feel like i would constantly be worried about love and in the shadows and unless i’m prepared to really work through that and deal with it, which even at my age im not sure i could, then i have to evaluate it.

but man i love the idea of it getting all confusing and mixed up. about the person actually loving you for you and not your projection so the outputs are different. it’s really fun to see this person deprive themselves and finally be fulfilled. of course i do not think a romantic partner is the end all be all but as finding companionship is huge it will be a facet. it kind of kills several birds with one stone because it really forces you to see people as individuals. it’s a conflicting message and it’s great to watch unfold and it is satisfactory. it is! people arent prizes but it’s good. love

like this whole thing has some stupid writing in it imo but it makes sooooooooooo much sense hearing/seeing that line. dude you just had nom idea honestly. we live in our heads and fantasies to help us pull through but what h appens when we really have to put our feet down on the ground? when you attain it after being so fearful and cowardly to not pursue, you know? we all know that feeling. gotta get with the TIMES MAN we live in a a pantene pro v go for it

#a love off #nah but rly man #we best love #we best love fighting mr 2nd

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roxa-sos · 5 years ago

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impossible - rafe cameron

rafe cameron x kook!reader

tw; major abuse in this one bud,, manipulation, blame, fear mongering, being trapped in an emotionally abusive and threatening relationship, trying to see the good sides of it.

not requested; this is the fic rooted in my daddy issues alkNFDEl, reader does something that’s inconvenient for rafe but he blows it out of proportion. the reader is used to this kind of stuff, so they keep the blame on them even though it’s frustrating, and like always, they’re the bad guy, always taking care of rafe.

a/n -- i fucking LOVE drew starkey i’m sorry,, i kinda want to write some fluff for younger rafe (before the drugs, before he let his dad get to his head, all that good stuff) but i need ideas for that lmao. nobody asked for this. literally,, everyone’s talking about rudy on my dash and i’ll just sit here with my drew pfp going ‘hey want some rafe angst? no? here u go anyways :)’ also if it isn’t obvious. i crave happiness. but i don’t have that so for now all i shall give you is angst.

“you’re always fucking yelling at me!” rafe’s voice seemed to bounce off the walls, or it echoed in your head as you sat on the edge of his bed, toying with the promise ring on your finger. you felt numb, but you had to say something.

“rafe, i’m not yelling, i just don’t understand how-”

“no, no, if you want to argue i don’t want to hear it.” he was barking at you, laughing when the words left his mouth. “you’re just impossible to deal with.” he was pacing around in front of you, blowing things out of proportion, like he always did whenever you did something he didn’t like.

what had you even done? you didn’t remember. maybe it was something about cutting your hair? based on how he was treating the situation, it seemed like you told him you were sleeping with some kid from the cut.

somewhere deep down, it almost felt like you would never be good enough for him. where had the time gone? it felt like it was yesterday when you two were sixteen and he gave you that promise ring in front of his dad, topper, your parents, your friends, everyone. you hadn’t felt that good for a while.

“are you listening to me?” he asked harshly, taking a threatening step towards you. “what am i supposed to do if you’re not even gonna take this seriously? christ, every day i regret chasing you when we were younger.”

you didn’t want him to leave you. he was all you knew. and you knew it was dumb to stay with him at all, but he was good to you. really good to you, even if it was only on occasion.

just a month ago he’d taken you shopping on the mainland like it was your birthday. he called you hot when you were trying on ridiculously fancy dresses for no reason, and he even bought you one just because he knew you liked it based on how you looked at yourself in the mirror.

a week ago, he had you under his arm, sitting across from the bonfire that had raged while your parents and friends drank and mingled. the light had died and most people had gone inside, but he stayed out with you after you said that the sky looked nice.

the night before, he sat you on his lap as he laid down on his bed, telling you all about the party he went to that you hadn’t been able to make it to. omitting the parts about the dumb drugs he did, because he knew you didn’t like it.

how could he go from that to screaming at you over nothing?

“rafe, i know you’re angry, but can you just... stop yelling?” you pleaded, looking up at him. he was so overwhelmed with anger that his face was red, his hands balled up on either side of him. you felt tears threatening to leave your eyes. you hated it, but it wouldn’t stop. god, you were so overdramatic sometimes.

you were taking erratic breaths, trying to calm yourself down. the thought of losing everything you ever knew - the thought of losing rafe - it stressed you out to a degree you couldn’t describe. so you always panicked when he yelled. you were always scared, even though it would probably be better for you if he did leave.

“you’re so emotional.” he groaned, turning away from you.

he couldn’t even look at you.

you shouldn’t have said anything at all. you were an instigator. you knew he got mad easily, and he’d been good for too long, so you knew he was gonna break soon. his good streaks never lasted long.

you loved him. and you knew it was dumb, but you really did. all you wanted to be to him was a good partner, you wanted him to respect you, you wanted him to see some worth in you.

it just felt like he never did.

sometimes you’d distance yourself from him. usually it was after he yelled, and for a few days after that. you’d convince yourself that you didn’t care about what he thought about you, or you’d say that you needed to seriously talk to him about what was going on between you two.

yet somehow, that intrusive thought always came back to you;

you care about what he thinks.

because he was the most influential part of your life, and he had been for years. someone out of your grasp, someone who you just wanted love and attention from. he baited you with it, giving you bits and pieces, and when you were getting good again, he’d lash out at you for no reason.

it was exhausting, but at the end of the day... you stayed.

“i... i’m sorry, rafe.” you finally caved and apologized for whatever you’d done. whatever you’d said. whatever he was mad at.

he didn’t answer you that time, but he turned back to face you.

“i’ll see you later.” he spoke to you like you were a child, leaving the room. he slammed the door behind him, leaving you to crumble back onto the bed that you two usually shared.

uncontrollably sobbing, because there was nothing you could do to make him happy and proud of you, but that was all you wanted to do.

a/n -- do NOT romanticize this relationship. im begging you. this is very unhealthy and it’s a little bit of a vent for me. if you’re going through this, please contact a help line (1-800-799-7233) and stay safe. you are worth it, they just can’t see it for themselves, their expectations are unrealistic. if it feels wrong, it probably is.

#rafe cameron #drew starkey #rafe cameron x reader #rafe outer banks #rafe fic #drew starkey fic #obx netflix #obx fic #obx imagine #outer banks fic #outer banks imagine #jj maybank #john b routledge #sarah cameron #pope heyward #kiara carrera #outer banks

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kimvvantae · 5 years ago

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puzzle; 6 (m)

➜ you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?

pairing: jungkook x (f) reader

genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au

warnings: lots of swearing, unprotected sex (use condoms y’all kids)

rating: 18+

word count: 13k wooohoooooo

A/N: i listened to the same 4 songs over and over again while writing and i think it kind of sets the mood for this chapter so hm if you guys like listening to music while reading here goes a small playlist:

Jungkook - If you (read the lyrics pls)

Whitesnake - Is This Love

BTS - Jamais Vu

Sam Smith - Lay Me Down

enjoy!

➜ Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!

« playlist »

“You’re acting weird.”

You finally look up when you hear this, just to see Hoseok frowning at you.

“I’m not.” You’re quick to say, shrugging.

“You’re really acting weird. Is everything okay?” Hoseok insists, crossing his arms.

Hoseok is not what bothers you the most, though, but another pair of eyes watching you like a hawk.

Jimin knows why you’re acting weird. Since that day at Joy’s house, he has been staring at you like this constantly - half judging, half worried.

It’s very annoying, to be honest.

“I’m just… a little bit stressed.” You admit, shrugging again. Fortunately, Hoseok isn’t as observant as Jimin, so he seems convinced.

“So, what did you guys want?” You ask, changing the topic. They came after you in the cafeteria while you have lunch after all.

“Ah! I almost forgot,” Hoseok starts. “You quit your job at the coffee shop, right?”

“Yes. It was way too stressful and my boss was a bitch.” You huff.

“So you’ll be free this weekend?” He asks. You nod, but if he’s about to invite you to a party or something, you’re ready to say no. “The thing is, you know that me and Jimin have this job as waiters, right? There’s a wedding this weekend and they’re needing staff. So, if you’re interested, you can come with us on Saturday night. The payment is decent and it’s just easy stuff to do.”

Your mood lightens up at this. “Yeah, sure! I’ll go. I really need money right now.”

Hoseok smiles and claps his hands together. “Alright! I’ll send you all the information later. They’ll give you a uniform, so don’t worry about clothes. I have to go now. Bye!”

He leaves.

Jimin stays.

You just keep eating quietly, Jimin’s heavy gaze on you, until you finally get annoyed.

“Jimin, what do you want?” You cross your arms and glare back.

Jimin slowly quirks one eyebrow. “Won’t you ask me if Jungkook’s going?”

“Why would I ask if he’s going or not?”

“Because you guys aren’t talking anymore.”

“Thank you so much for reminding me of this, Jimin."

He realised that he went a little too far just by seeing your clenched jaw and the anger in your eyes. Jimin sighs and shrugs. "Anyways, yes, Jungkook is going. But not to work as a waiter, he’ll take pictures instead.”

“So what?"

Jimin swipes his hand over his face and shakes his head as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing. "I think you’re so stupid. Both of you. My fucking God.”

“You know what, Jimin? That’s none of your business.” You finally get up and take the tray rather roughly, walking away without looking back.

Maybe you were a little too rude with Jimin, but he’s being unbearable these days.

It’s been one month since that day at Joy’s house - one month since you and Jungkook have been avoiding each other like the plague.

And maybe you were a little too rude with him because deep down, you know he’s right.

As usual.

tae: wyd?? 👀👀

you: working

tae: ??? didn’t u quit ur job

you: yea

you: it’s one night thing

you: i need the 💸💸

tae: oh

tae: ok

tae: i’ll ask later then

you: wAIT

you: ask what??????

tae: later

tae: u should work first~

you: but im curious

you: i can’t work if im curious >:(

tae: 🙊

you: tae????

you: taeeeeeeee

you: TAEHYUNG

He doesn’t reply anymore.

You groan, shoving your phone on your back pocket again, and leave the restroom. The guests hadn’t arrived yet since the wedding ceremony is still ongoing, but the kitchen is already a mess: people yelling orders, the delicious scent of good food in the air, cooks cooking (duh) and waiters getting ready. The boss has already given you the last instructions, but it’s not as if working in an event like this is a difficult task: serve the guests, smile, be polite, walk around the hall, try not to break the crystal glasses that cost more than what you can pay.

The hotel is pretty fancy, actually. You were expecting a smaller wedding. Not that this is a problem, of course. The only problem here are the heels that all women are forced to use; it’s not too high, but walking around endlessly the whole night in these will be painful for sure. The rest of the uniform is that standard - black pants, white button shirt, black vest and bow tie, hair tied in a perfect high bun, simple makeup.

You walk to the hall to make the last adjustments in the decoration. Pretty much everything is in place, so there isn’t much to do. The tables are organized, the floor is pristinely clean, the white flower bouquets are in place. A DJ will be in charge of music tonight.

You stand at the back of the hall, almost hidden, just to check your phone once more; no new texts. Now, you can’t stop thinking about what Taehyung wants to ask. He knows you’d get all curious. You and Taehyung have grown closer these days: late phone calls, endless texts, random memes at random times. You hadn’t gone on a proper date yet, though - and you don’t think you want to.

Taehyung is a nice guy and a good friend, but you don’t want to take things to the next level - even though this seems to be Taehyung’s intention since the beginning. He has been insisting in you for quite a long time now meanwhile all you do is keep a certain distance. You didn’t really give him any real hopes yet and you’re afraid that Taehyung might be reading your actions in the wrong way. Truth be told, it’ll be so shitty of you to keep his hopes high when you won’t go anywhere with this.

Your feelings are all messed up.

Because you shouldn’t even be feeling anything in the first place.

Ironically, you’ve never been friends with benefits with anyone before. You did have some fuck buddies in the past, though - but you were never friends with any of them. You never got involved with any of your actual friends. Sure, there was that night when drunk-you and drunk-Jimin made out at a party (you don’t talk about it), but at that time, you had just joined college and neither you nor Jungkook were close to Jimin yet, so it doesn’t really count. Also, you and Jimin never had sex - you just kissed, nothing more.

But of course dumb you had to be friends with benefits with your best fucking friend. Of course you had to destroy your friendship like that. Everyone knows that sex is a friendship destroyer. Everyone!

One month without Jungkook felt like being in the desert without rain. You have good friends, but none of them are that special person that’s somehow able to read you mind and understand you even if you don’t say anything. None of them know the type of meme you’d laugh at, none of them sent you random snaps at random times of the day. Worst of all - you didn’t watch Endgame together, when you’ve been watching every Marvel film together ever since you both started obsessing over heroes years ago. Every. Single. Marvel. Film.

You didn’t get to see Jungkook crying during the last scenes of Endgame. Jimin didn’t say if he cried or not, but you know he cried.

That’s devastating.

Truth be told, you don’t even miss sex. Sure, you and Jungkook are the perfect match in bed, and you caught yourself masturbating at night wishing it were Jungkook’s fingers inside of you instead (touching yourself has never been so depressing), but what you actually miss to the point it hurts your chest are the small, familiar things. The comfortable silence. The funny banter. Going to Burger King together late at night after a party or when none of you want to cook. Showing each other funny videos or discussing about the latest chapter of the manga you’re both reading. Jungkook ignoring your texts for hours because he’s too focused on playing Overwatch. You even miss the way he never lets you eat the last slice of pizza, goddammit.

You simply miss him.

What leads you to another thought - something that has been growing stronger in your mind.

After days of self denial, you finally admitted that you were jealous of Jungkook and Joy.

There’s no other explanation for the way you acted that day at her house. You were mad that she was touching him and getting too close. That’s weird. You’ve never really been the jealous type. You never minded when people tried to flirt with Jungkook.

You’re not jealous of friends.

Even so, you had a jealousy attack and didn’t rest until Jungkook’s attention was yours again.

Being totally honest with yourself, you’ve been jealous of Joy ever since you found out she was interested in him.

…what the fuck?

Something inside of you have changed, and only now you’re brave enough to admit. Somewhere along the road, you stopped seeing Jungkook as just a friend. He’s currently in that blurry and confusing level - not only a friend, but at the same time, not more than a friend. You don’t know what the fuck he is anymore.

More importantly… do you want to be more than friends?

If you and Jungkook make up, will you be able to go back to what it was - just friends?

Or are you just being possessive? Did you start seeing him in a different way just because you realized you’re about to lose him?

You don’t know the answer to none of those questions. What you know at the moment is that being away from him fucking hurts. You have the same friends, go to the same places, study at the same university, but barely see each other anymore. What’s that thing people say? You just start valuing things after you lose them.

Jimin asked you not to play with Jungkook’s feelings. What he doesn’t know, though, is that you’re so confused about yours that you don’t have time to play with his feelings.

When you realize the guests are about to come, you force your brain to focus on your current task. You stand back with the rest of the waiters as, slowly, the elegant guests get into the hall, sitting at their respective tables, and soon the place is filled with conversation, laughter and music.

After everyone took their places, the main couple finally come.

The lights change. The DJ plays a special song. Guests stand up and applaud when they enter the hall, smiling, and walk to the center to have their first dance as a married couple.

You could have noticed how the bride’s dress was beautiful. You could have noticed how her front teeth was dirty with lipstick and how the groom tried to discreetly tell her about this. You could have even noticed how one of the kids was starting to have a tantrum and his mother half-screamed, half-whispered, if you don’t be quiet you’ll be grounded for one month!

But you don’t notice any of that, because the photographer enters the hall right after the couple does.

Your heart flutters in a funny way.

Jungkook is wearing a suit (you don’t even remember the last time you saw him in a suit); black and simple, but it fits him so well. He isn’t much different from all the other man, except for his long hair - his black hair is so long he can probably tie it now - and his ear piercings. He holds his camera to eye level, capturing every moment he can from the couple’s first dance, a backpack with other tools hanging from his shoulder.

Everyone else is focusing on the couple - but you can’t look at anything else but him.

He looks so handsome and focused and hot and-

Hey, you’re here to work!, you remind yourself angrily, shaking your head and walking back to the kitchen.

Drink after drink, tray after tray - you and the other waiters and waitresses walk around the hall to serve the guests. It’s not a difficult work, but still tiring nevertheless. It’s also hard to balance yourself and the trays with these high heels. Soon, you’re immersed in the work and momentarily forget about everything else, although (unconsciously) you try to avoid being seen by a specific someone.

Time passes by and the party goes on. Parents make heartfelt speeches, everyone cries. The DJ plays popular songs and soon the dancefloor is full. Alcohol already starts to get into their heads. Men are either speaking and laughing too loud or crying, hugging the groom. Women already forgot their high heels and their elegance, twerking shamelessly and screaming. Kids do the usual - run, yell, fall and cry - and they almost throw you on the ground twice. Someone spills champagne on the floor; you rush to clean it before someone ends up slipping. There’s the eventual noise of glass breaking. A certain dude has asked for your help far too much and you start to avoid him, noticing that he’s staring at your ass. Another guest pukes and is taken to the infirmary. As usual, you hear old women complaining about the food, how the decoration is ugly, how one waiter was rude, how the DJ doesn’t play the songs they want-

“The photographer is so hot! What’s his name?!” You hear someone giggling.

You gulp.

Jungkook is just doing his job, but that boy can’t go unnoticed, not even when he tries. You don’t know if he saw you yet, and honestly, you hope he didn’t.

Just do your job. Just do your job.

The night goes on. Your left foot hurts and you need to pee, but gladly most of the guests have already left - the groom and bride left first and the party went on without them -, the hall is almost empty, which means it’s almost ending. Now, you busy yourself with cleaning the hall.

“Man, I’m dead,” Hoseok groans, stretching his back. You nod, putting some empty glasses on a tray to take them back to the kitchen.

“Now imagine bearing it all in heels,” you say, not being able to keep your nice posture anymore. Not that there are many guests anyway - most are too drunk or sleeping on the tables. The DJ is still diligently playing, though.

“The night was productive after all,” Jimin chirps happily, approaching you two with a smug grin on his lips. You see he’s holding a small paper between his fingers… someone’s phone number.

“Son of a bitch,” you say under your breath. Jimin just shrugs and smirks. Much obviously, you apologized for your rudeness before you came. The fact that he forgave you so easily made everything worse, honestly. Jimin is a nice guy with his friends (way too nice for his own good sometimes) and it just shows how he doesn’t deserve to be treated in a rude way.

“I’m just taking the chances life gives me!” He chirps again, making you roll your eyes.

“Anyways, what’s wrong with Jungkook?” Hoseok wonders, crossing his arms and frowning. “He didn’t come over the entire night. Is he avoiding us?”

You gulp.

Instantly, your eyes travel to where he stands in the nearly-empty dance floor. He smiles politely to some women that stand around him. Everyone’s obviously too drunk and they’re probably talking nonsense.

He’s avoiding me, you realize sadly.

“He’s working, Hoseok. His job won’t end if the guests keep asking for pictures.” Jimin is quick to say, what indeed makes sense, but Jimin also knows very well why he has been keeping his distance. Hoseok is the only one that doesn’t notice the strange tension in the air.

When you notice you’ve been staring for an embarrassing long time, you immediately shift your gaze to the dirty plates in front of you, organizing them in a pile to take them to the kitchen. You came here to work. That’s it. Focus-

An excited scream tears the air.

“I loooove this song!” One of the girls on the dance floor scream, the one that has been clinging on Jungkook ever since the crowd started to dissipate. Much obviously tipsy, her eyes were glued on him the entire night (not that you’ve been noticing the people checking him out. Of course not). “Jungkookie, dance with me!”

You almost gasp.

Jungkookie?!

That’s when you finally notice the face Jungkook is making - and you try your best not to laugh.

He has that look that means oh my fucking God someone please take me out of this situation.

The two boys by your side don’t try to hide the laughter as well as you, watching the desperate Jungkook try to turn her offer down - an awkward smile, eyes shifting from her, a muttered apology (I still have some work to do…) but the thirsty girl is surprisingly insistent (you can stop for a little bit, come on!).

“I feel sorry for him,” Hoseok almost chokes as he tries to stop his giggles. You kind of feel sorry, too. He can’t be rude to a customer, otherwise he’d be punched by her relatives - not that Jungkook would be rude anyway. He steps back, scratches the back of his neck. The girl is almost climbing him. He looks around desperately, trying to find a way to escape-

“Why don’t you help him, Y/N?” Jimin says sweetly.

You side eye the sugar-coated snake you call friend. “Jimin.” Is all you say in a warning manner.

Someone that doesn’t understand the situation wouldn’t think anything weird, because you’re actually used to save Jungkook from crazy girls. The thing is, sometimes he’s too nice to turn girls down - and yes, girls do chase him. When he’s not interested in them, you’d usually understand the situation and run on his rescue, most times pretending to be his girlfriend so the girls would stop bothering him. It’s something funny and you’d always laugh your asses off right after.

Not now.

You definitely don’t want to laugh now.

Jimin is being far from innocent. He just wants to push you two into each other. He may have good intentions, but he’s not considering the fact that you don’t feel ready to face Jungkook - not when your feelings are so messed up. This ain’t happening.

“Yeah, Y/N. Jungkook looks pretty desperate,” Hoseok remarks, again, oblivious to the tension lingering in the air.

“Jungkook can handle himself very well. He doesn’t need my help.” Even though Jimin feels your menacing glare and sees your jaw clench, this boy is very brave and insists:

“Come on, Y/N! It won’t hurt.” He says innocently.

Yes, it will hurt. It already hurts, dumbass.

“Did you guys forget that we’re here to work? I don’t want to be reprimanded.”

“The hall is near empty. There’s literally nothing to do anymore.” Hoseok doesn’t understand why you’re glaring at him now.

You’re trying to control your nerves, but it’s getting hard not to feel your stomach jump in a weird way and your fingertips tremble. Just the idea of approaching him makes you weak, and not in a good way. Why these people can’t just leave you alone?!

“Do you think that avoiding him forever will work?” Jimin hisses on your ear, low enough so only you can listen, finally showing how pissed he really is.

What he says gets you.

Avoiding each other isn’t working, you know this very well. You remember the way you used to deal with things in the past - talking. Sure, you won’t be able to really talk right now, but at least you’ll have a chance to approach him.

You don’t want to. You really don’t. But at the same time, you want to. You miss Jungkook.

Besides, he can’t run away from you in this situation.

You take a deep breath and gulp, trying to ease the tension. Come on. I know Jungkook. He’s the same bastard I’ve known my whole life. Stop being a pussy. I’m not a pussy!

“Just to make clear,” you whisper back to Jimin. “I fucking hate you.”

“You love me.” You wish you could rip that triumphant smirk off his face.

You walk over to the dance floor.

The few couples dance slowly and intimately. Because of course it had to be a slow dance. Of course it had to be a romantic song. Haha. Of course. The Universe must be playing some trick on you.

Jungkook managed to run away from the girl, trying to hide in the corner of the hall, and she’s searching for him like a hawk. You wonder if she’s this drunk or if she’s just stupid. A guy literally running away from you isn’t already a message enough?

You walk quickly to where he stands, and the moment Jungkook turns around and lays his eyes on you, shock covers his features.

“Y/N-?”

“Quick, dance with me,” you say hurriedly, placing his hands on your waist. “She’s coming.”

Instead of questioning, Jungkook immediately starts to play along as you place your own hands on his shoulders. You discreetly watch when the girl finally finds you.

She stops on her tracks.

“She saw us?” He asks without looking back.

“Yes.”

“And?”

You see fire in her eyes.

“If she had a gun, she’d probably shoot me.” The girl looks outraged that you stole her chance to grind on him. “Oh, she’s turning away.”

Jungkook sighs in relief. “Thanks God. She’s been bothering me all night!” You can’t help but giggle.

For a millisecond, it feels like nothing has changed.

But then you look at each other for the first time.

It might be dramatic, but you almost feel that the temperature drops around you.

Oh shit.

You avoid each other’s gazes at the same time. It feels so tremendously awkward to be in front of him again - especially when you’re slow dancing in the dim light of the hall, almost hidden. It feels uncomfortably intimate. Especially because you’re both keeping a distance that normal couples wouldn’t. You probably look like a weird couple at a prom party that were forced to dance together.

It feels foreign.

The way you touch each other doesn’t feel right. You have touched each other in the most intimate and obscene ways, yet the simple touch of his hands on your waist doesn’t feel right. Despite this, you feel your blood boiling with a strange type of excitement; you missed him so damn much. Even in this uncomfortable situation, you can’t help but feel a little bit happy. You didn’t know you’ve been craving for his touch so much up until now.

What’s weird is that you don’t even feel like this in a sexual way. You’re not aroused. Considering how your relationship became strictly sexual these past months, your lack of arousal to be around him is weird.

The butterflies in your stomach and the way your hands are shaking a little bit is also weird.

For some moments, you just sway from side to side in an overwhelming silence. You have no choice but to listen intently to the song being played. As if you already don’t feel fucked up enough, you’re forced to listen to a love song - an 80s love song on top of that. Of course it has to be Is This Love by Whitesnake. Of course. Haha.

“Uhm… thanks.” Jungkook finally breaks the silence. His voice lacks confidence. He probably never talked to you like this.

“Just helping out a friend,” you say and instant regret smashes you. You don’t know if he’s still your friend.

Jungkook looks scarily annoyed for a second. “A friend. Sure.”

Is it inappropriate to notice how he looks handsome when he clenches his jaw?

Honestly, has Jungkook always been this handsome?

Sure, he has always been like this. Maybe not seeing him in a long time made you feel this way. His hair has grown a lot. He looks extra fine in this suit. Every man looks better in a suit, but Jungkook looks like a deity.

The butterflies in your stomach are going crazy.

You did miss him a lot.

The silence makes you pay attention to the song again.

Wasted days and sleepless nights

But I can’t wait to see you again…

Hah, I know how it feels, you think - what makes you widen your eyes, shocked with your own thoughts. No. You won’t suddenly relate to a cliche 80s love song.

Right?

“H-How’s school going?” You stutter. Are you trying to do small talk? For real?

“It’s doing fine,” he simply says. Oh fuck. Not good. He sounds so uninterested in your weak attempt at engaging a conversation it hurts. You came here to try and talk about what really matters, but you don’t feel ready to do it yet. Can’t he understand it?!

It looks like your presence bothers him, honestly.

That’s new.

Wow. Your heart suddenly feels clenched.

Awkward.

Why am I feeling this way?

A heavy silence weighs on you again. This isn’t going as planned - not that you planned anything in the first place. You’re going through a lot of weird sensations now.

Why is that?

You look at Jungkook timidly (timid and Jungkook are two words that used to not make any sense together in the past), but he doesn’t look back. You avoid his gaze again.

Being hit by a truck would hurt less.

What’s happening?

Why are you so damn confused?

When the song hits its chorus, you start to think the Universe is definitely playing with you. The deep voice of the singer floats in the air:

Is this love

That I’m feeling?

Is this the love

That I’ve been searching for?

Fuck you, Whitesnake.

For real.

Fuck. You.

“Did Taehyung ask you?”

This brings you back to reality in an instant.

“What?” You look at him, confused. Why is he talking about Taehyung of all people out of nowhere?

You’ve always been very good at reading Jungkook, but right now, he’s unreadable.

“So he didn’t.” He says blatantly, devoid of any emotion. “I thought he would have already.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He talked to me about a double date.” Jungkook replies, looking back at you for the first time - again, a blank face. “You and him, me and Joy.”

Your blood honestly feels like frost.

It’s like you lost the ability to move or talk for a moment. You blink and gulp, trying to keep composed.

“What? Why?”

“Because he said it’d be fun. And less awkward, since I’m not very close to Joy yet and you’re not very close to him.”

Again, you don’t say anything for long seconds.

“But we’d just be cockblocking each other during the whole date,” you say.

“I know. I think the idea of a double date sounds weird, too. It’s not as if we don’t know them.”

You remember what Taehyung texted you earlier today; he said he’d ask something later. Is he going to ask you out?

He thinks that, since you and Jungkook are best friends, you could ease the tension and even help each other out.

This is so fucked up.

The immediate answer that comes to your mind is no. You don’t want to go on a date with Taehyung when you’re not interested in him. It’d be cruel; you don’t want to keep his hopes high.

But as you’re about to say it, you stop.

What if Jungkook wants to go?

All this time, you’ve only been considering your feelings. Your confusion, your wishes - it’s always about you. You don’t know if you want to be just Jungkook’s friend, but you don’t know if he wants to be more than a friend - or if he wants to be your friend at all. The fuck buddies thing started because you asked. Not even once did you think about him.

Is this what Jimin meant when he asked you to not play with Jungkook’s feelings?

How selfish you’ve been acting all this time?

What if he’s been developing feelings for Joy and now decided to try something? He’s probably feeling hurt because you’ve not been acting like a good friend. You’re always putting yourself first.

That’s why you hear yourself asking:

“Do you want to go?”

It’s scary how every tiny little piece of you wishes he’ll say no.

But Jungkook tilts his head and says:

“Yes. I know it sounds weird, but we can part ways as soon as we get there.”

And this is the moment you feel as cold as you’ve never felt in your life.

It’s as if your ears got obstructed for a moment, because you can’t hear anything but your heartbeat. You can’t even see properly for a second. Yet, you ignore all that, gulp and nod.

It’s time to be a good friend for once.

It’s time to put Jungkook’s wishes first - even though it crushes your heart.

“Okay.” You say quietly.

You’re coming to the conclusion that you’re a walking disaster.

You’ve never been so nervous before a date in your life - but this is not the usual type of nervousness, when people are excited to meet their crush and impress them etc etc. You’re nervous because you don’t want to go. You thought of coming up with a thousand excuses (from the classical “I’m sick :(” to “Seulgi’s sick I gotta take care of her :(” to “my cat’s sick :(” but then you remembered you don’t have a cat to “I’m being chased by the police and I gotta leave the country :(”), but in the end, you couldn’t bring yourself to lie.

Not when Taehyung sounded so painfully happy when you said you’d go.

That’s why you should have said no: Taehyung doesn’t deserve this. He’s a good person and he will certainly get hurt when you tell him you’re not interested. Who cares about Jungkook? That fucker can go on a date by himself, he’s not a kid anymore.

But…

There’s something very tiny and mean inside of you called jealousy that didn’t let you simply text an honest apology to Taehyung.

And now it’s too late, because he’s standing at your door.

Handsome as always, Taehyung wears casual clothes: it’s almost as if he didn’t put much thought on it, but he still looks drop dead gorgeous on his black baggy pants, white shirt and black beret (no other man in this planet can manage to not look stupid in a beret other than Taehyung). As usual, your brain malfunctions as it tries to process his beauty.

He has a small, beautiful smile on his lips.

Shit.

“You look beautiful,” he says, and he sounds like he means it. You did put some effort on your clothes, makeup and hair after all. Being complimented by him feels nice.

Shit.

“Thanks. You too, but that’s just your usual self,” you say thoughtlessly and instant regret slaps your face again. Yes, bitch. Flirt with him. Make things more difficult.

Taehyung looks shy for a moment. The sight is endearing.

S. H. I. T.

“You’re just being nice to me.” He tilts his head. “So, let’s go?"

It’s too late to go back now, so you have no choice but to take his arm and show your most plastic smile. "Yeah.”

You’re definitely a walking disaster.

You two arrive in the park first and, instead of just showing your tickets and getting in, you’re forced to wait for the bastard and his hot date.

An amusement park of all places.

Not that you hate amusement parks, it’s pretty much the opposite. It’s just that everything feels so wrong. Especially how Taehyung is making a lot of effort to keep the conversation alive while you wait. It’s not hard to talk to him, though, because he’s an interesting person, but seeing his efforts hurts.

What hurts more is the sight of Jungkook and Joy arriving with locked arms.

You hope Taehyung didn’t notice you holding your breath.

Joy looks hot as always, but you don’t even look at her (yes, it’s not nice to be mad at someone that didn’t do anything wrong), eyes glued on Jungkook instead. Just like Taehyung, it seems that he didn’t put much thought on his clothes, only their styles are completely different: Jungkook wears an oversized grey t-shirt, black pants and sneakers. It might seem simple, but he can manage to look good in anything. Joy surely didn’t mind his choice of clothes.

You lock gazes for one second and proceed to avoid it.

The four of you greet. It’s hard to act natural, but you try to; you don’t want the two others to notice the weird tension between you and the black-haired bastard. Joy looks happy, too.

…

Shit.

Soon, you get into the amusement park. As expected, it’s crowded with kids, families and couples. The weather feels nice this afternoon.

“It’s been a long time since I don’t come to an amusement park,” you confess.

“Really? Then this was a good choice. I was worried if it’d be too cheesy…” he also confesses sheepishly.

“It’s not!” You reassure him. Joy agrees with you. Jungkook keeps silent. “I just have some traumatizing memories about amusement parks.”

Taehyung quirks one eyebrow. “What?”

You sigh.

You and Jungkook end up saying in unison:

“5th grade.”

You look at each other and avoid your gazes again.

“What? What happened on 5th grade?” Joy asks excitedly.

“Our school came to an amusement park that year,” Jungkook explains.

“Why was it traumatizing?” Taehyung still seems confused.

“Because… well…” you hesitate to say.

“Because she was so short back then that they didn’t let her go on the rollercoasters. And she cried the whole trip,” Jungkook suddenly says.

You glare at him.

He has a playful smirk on his lips.

“Oh, so what about you?” You can’t help but smile, too.

“What happened to him?” Joy asks.

“He laughed at me because I couldn’t ride, but he puked his lunch after he went on the coaster and spent half of the trip in the infirmary,” you reveal.

“You’re still bitter that you stayed with me in the infirmary?” He inquires.

“Of course I am! Also, you puked on my shoes!”

“I already apologized. Besides, I paid you banana milk for two entire weeks. Isn’t it enough?”

“It isn’t!”

“Are you saying that banana milk isn’t enough?!” He gasps. “You psycho.”

You both giggle.

Again, for one moment, it feels that everything is back to normal. You feel comfortable having these old memories, as if you never stopped being best friends, as if you have the intimacy to play like this again.

But it’s only for one moment.

You avoid gazes. It feels so out of place.

At least the sadness in Jungkook’s eyes shows that he feels the same about this all.

Before the tension between you two can become too strong, you change the topic and engage both Taehyung and Joy in the conversation - during that moment, you two forgot about them. As wrong as it is, Taehyung is your date for the night. He’s the one you should pay attention to.

So you try to completely ignore Jungkook’s existence for a while.

You only look at Taehyung and don’t even touch your phone. You answer his questions and ask things about him. It doesn’t feel like a punishment, though, because he is an interesting person and you genuinely enjoy his company.

But you can’t help but look at Jungkook from time to time.

You can’t help but notice his smiley-eyes as he looks at her. You can’t help but see their closure.

You can’t help but feel your heart clenching.

And then, you see yourself locking your arm with Taehyung’s.

“What’s that?” You say excitedly. “I wanna see it!”

You drag Taehyung away from the other couple until they disappear in the crowd. Only then you remember how to breathe again.

Considering all the odds, this going better than you expected.

You tried your best to completely erase Jungkook’s and Joy’s existence from your mind, and at some point it finally worked. Taehyung is a funny guy to be around. There’s something very particular and endearing about his personality that captivates you; he’s obviously trying to impress you, but he’s still being very honest. He has some type of innocence that makes you realize that this guy is seriously one of a kind. You can’t think of a single sign that he might be a bad person.

You’re genuinely enjoy this.

But not in the way Taehyung expects you to be enjoying it.

As wrong as it is, you unconsciously end up comparing him to Jungkook.

If Jungkook was your date, the first thing you’d both want to do is try all the rollercoasters and the wildest rides in this park. But Taehyung is scared of heights. You didn’t want to make the boy vomit his own stomach, so you ended up avoiding it - even though you really wanted to go on that orange coaster that looks high as fuck.

Taehyung didn’t really get your jokes. The fact that he still laughed politely is cute, but still - Jungkook and you have the same sense of humor. You two like the same stupid type of meme. It felt strange when you had to explain more than once a certain joke so Taehyung could understand.

Taehyung didn’t know your favorite ice cream flavor or your favorite soda. He doesn’t know the kind of movie you like, nor your favorite series, nor your favorite singers. You know you’re being stupid - the whole point of going on a date is to get to know each other, but every now and then you end up remembering how Jungkook knows every dumb detail about you…

What makes you realize that, as much as Taehyung is an amazing guy, you are too different from each other.

What also makes you realize that, maybe… you don’t really want to get to know anyone else.

And suddenly, an image starts to build in your mind - an image you try very hard to erase, but it’s already too strong to be forgotten.

Instead of Taehyung, you arm is locked with Jungkook’s. You’re both laughing and having fun, just like things used to be. Only now you’re not just friends.

It’s the first time in all these years that you see yourself dating Jungkook clearly. Painfully clearly.

The cotton candy you’re eating suddenly tastes like iron on your tongue. You feel your throat tightening. All of this became painful. The fact that you’re trying so hard to forget Jungkook for a few minutes, yet he’s everything you can think of. The fact that he’s in the same park as you having a date with another girl - said girl that is a friend, by the way, someone you encouraged to be with Jungkook, and now you’re hating her existence even though she did nothing wrong, all because of jealousy. There’s also the fact that Jungkook is much obviously avoiding you.

And the most painful fact of all-

“Are you okay, YN?” Taehyung asks, the smile vanishing from his lips the moment he sees your expression.

The fact that this incredible person likes you much more than you expected. It’s obvious now that you look at his eyes. He really likes you - a funny, smart and special guy, someone that didn’t check his phone not even once ever since this date started, someone that has been trying his hardest to make sure you’re having fun, a guy that is usually very confident, but at the moment looks very uneasy around you.

He’s the perfect guy. He wasn’t disrespectful, wasn’t trying to get into your pants, treated you very well. You went on dates that were far worse than this. There was nothing wrong with him. You’re also sure he’d be a loving and caring boyfriend.

But all you can think of is Jungkook.

And even though you knew this date wouldn’t work, you still accepted to come anyway. You kept Taehyung’s hopes high. Just because you were jealous.

You’re definitely the worst person on this planet.

But this has to end before Taehyung gets more hurt.

“I’m not feeling very well,” you hear yourself saying. Worry covers Taehyung’s features. “What’s the problem? Was it something you ate? Do you want to go to the infirmary?”

Damn. It hurts to see him like this.

“No. Can you… can you just take me home, please?” You ask sheepishly.

If Taehyung feels disappointed, he doesn’t let you see; he just nods instead. “Okay. Let’s go.”

And this is how you managed to destroy a perfectly fine night.

You still try not to think of Jungkook and Joy on your way back home; you don’t want to know if they’re still in the park or if they went somewhere else. The idea of what they must be doing makes your stomach twirl in a bad way. It feels like a weight installed itself on your shoulders. Everything seems too oppressive and suffocating. You can’t wait to be alone and peaceful to process all of these feelings. Fortunately, Seulgi isn’t home - she went to sleep at a friend’s house to finish a project.

For the first time, being with Taehyung feels awkward as you walk to the front door of your apartment. You can see he isn’t exactly glad. It makes everything worse.

You stop in front of the door and you turn around to face him. Everything you have to say must be said now.

“I’m so sorry, Taehyung.” You say in an embarrassed tone, scratching the back of your neck. “I ruined everything.”

“What? No!” He’s quick to reassure. God, his eyes are beautiful… “It’s not your fault. People feel ill, that’s normal.”

You gulp. Oh Gosh. He believed what you said. This is getting worse and worse… “I had a lot of fun today. Really.” You sigh and tilt your head tiredly. “Honestly, it was the most fun I had in a long time…”

“I had a lot of fun, too.” His smile is able to melt any frozen heart. “I noticed that you had a lot in mind, so I’m glad I was able to distract you at least a little.”

It gets you off guard.

He’s way more observant than you expected.

“You noticed…?” You gulp, even more embarrassed. He nods. “I’m so sorry…”

“It’s fine. Everyone has a bad day every now and then. I just have to admit that I’m kind of worried about you.”

You stare at each other in silence for a while.

“Are you?” Why suddenly all you can do is make stupid questions?

Taehyung tilts his head. “Yes. You’re always such a bright person. Seeing you being quiet these days makes me sad.” First of all: did people start to realize that there’s something wrong with you? Are you acting this weird?

Second of all: that was adorable. He’s so honest about his feelings.

“To be honest, Taehyung… I’m not really a bright person,” you end up confessing in a quiet, weak voice. You don’t know why you’re saying this. You were supposed to push him away, not pull him closer. “I think I’m just used to pretend I am.”

“You don’t have to,” your eyes widen when you feel his fingertips brushing on your cheek as he gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to pretend you’re fine when you’re not. To suppress this type of feeling… it hurts. Believe me, I know.” For a moment, you feel your breath hitch. The skin where his fingers touched feels warm. He’s mesmerizing. His voice sounds like a sweet melody on your ears: deep, silky. “So, if you ever feel like opening up… I’m here, okay?” He widens his eyes for a second. “I-I mean- you can open up to Seulgi or Jungkook or Jimin, sure… anyone.”

This moment of shyness coming from him makes you giggle. “I don’t feel like opening up to anyone right now,” especially not to you, you think. “but thank you, Tae. It… it makes me really happy. I’m glad I went on this date with you.”

You shouldn’t have said that.

You shouldn’t have called him Tae.

Even though you’re saying the truth and there’s no second intentions hidden, Taehyung hears something else.

His hand is still resting on your cheek.

And he says nothing.

He just… stares right into your eyes.

You can’t move.

You clearly see when his face starts coming closer and closer to yours, slowly but surely. You see his heavy-lidded eyes, his clouded gaze, his parted lips. You feel the thick tension in the air around you - the electricity.

That’s when you should have pushed him away.

But you can’t.

Instead, you unconsciously close your eyes. You feel his lips ghosting over yours for a second - until his lips finally touch yours.

The kiss is suave - gentle and delicate. He doesn’t move his lips at first, merely pressing his against yours. Your body warms up in a way you haven’t felt in a long time; not because of arousal. It’s the pure excitement of being kissed.

Maybe that’s why you let him kiss you. You had forgotten how it feels like to be touched without any sexual intention. Kisses are too intimate, so you and Jungkook didn’t really kiss that often - and when you did kiss, it was always heated and obscene, tongues entangling wildly until both of you could barely breathe. It’s been a long time since someone kissed and held you like this: with gentleness and care. Taehyung isn’t treating you like a sex toy.

You melt.

Your lips part as he deepens the kiss; he is undemanding, careful and delicate. His lips taste like lip balm. No one is fighting for control, no one is desperate. It’s slow and synchronized. It’s sweet and innocent. Most importantly - it’s way different than you ever expected it to be. You never thought he’d kiss like this.

When Taehyung pulls away, the purest smile adorns his features.

“I’m sorry.” He says quietly, but he doesn’t sound sorry at all. “I should have asked permission.”

“It’s okay.” And it really is. You shouldn’t, but you liked it.

“I'll… I’ll get going.” He says, the smile never disappearing. His eyes are also smiling. He stands there awkwardly in an adorable manner. “Can I text you later?”

“Sure.” You nod. “Good night. And thank you again.”

Taehyung grins. “Good night.”

Before leaving, he presses his lips on yours quickly one last time.

You watch until he disappears inside the elevator, entering the apartment and standing there alone in the dark for a few seconds.

Then you unceremoniously slam your forehead against the wooden door.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You hiss between gritted teeth. “What have you done?!”

You were supposed to push him away. You should have told him the truth - that you don’t have feelings for him, that you’re confused and almost certainly in love with another guy. Instead, you just stood there and let him kiss you. You not only kept his hopes high, you increased them.

How will you get yourself out of this situation now?!

You throw yourself on the couch, grab a cushion and scream into it. I’m the worst of the worst. I’m a walking catastrophe.

For a long time, you just lay there and torture yourself with bad thoughts. Taehyung is the nicest guy you’ve met in a really long time. If you gave him the opportunity months ago, you’re sure you’d be dating right now - and the idea isn’t even unpleasant. He’s hot and smart and funny and sweet. It’s even hard to believe that someone like him is interested in you.

But…

No. Don’t think about him.

You want to punch yourself and scream and eat tons of ice cream and cry - all at once. You’re the queen of taking bad decisions. You’re the heart crusher and friendship destroyer-

There’s someone knocking on the front door.

You sit up in a jump and frown. Is it Seulgi? Did she forget her keys?

You walk slowly around the living room, defeated as if you’ve just came home from war, your hair a mess and shoulders shrinking. You turn the doorknob and open it-

And gasp.

Because standing at your front door is the person you least expected to see.

Jungkook is casually leaning on the door frame as if his presence didn’t make you burst a lung. He looks down, eyes avoiding yours; although the hallway is considerably dark, you can see his expression well. You know him too well. You see sadness and guilt and fear in his eyes.

Your heart beats so fast that you’re afraid it’ll stop suddenly. Nervousness crawls over your skin and makes your stomach feel cold.

“J-Jungkook? What are you doing here?” You’re brave enough to stutter. You completely forgot that Jungkook used to come over so often that you gave him full permission to enter and leave the building whenever he wanted.

He doesn’t say anything.

Instead, he lifts his left hand and shows you what he’s carrying: a plastic bag full with a pack of…

Banana milk.

“I think we really need to talk.” He says quietly, his eyes meeting yours for the first time.

You inhale sharply.

He’s right. You need to talk.

The cold night breeze makes you tighten your coat around your body. Yours and Jungkook’s hairs sway softly with the wind. You can hear the sounds of the city from up here, in the empty terrace - cars, sirens, voices. A glowing map of endless streets and buildings extends itself in front of your eyes.

You’re both leaning on the railing side by side. You’re hyper aware of the distance between you - both physical and… spiritual. You’ve been standing here in silence for quite some time now, quietly drinking the banana milk he brought, and none of you were able to engage a conversation. The tension is heavy. It overwhelms your whole being. Nervousness makes your nerves tense. You can’t even look at him.

Dozens of questions float around your mind; what is he doing here? Why did he decide to come in the first place? What happened to his date? It’s still very early, he could have stayed with her much longer…

You also can’t help but feel helplessly excited that he is here. With you. Not with Joy. He took the initiative to meet you.

You can’t lose this opportunity.

“It’s kinda cold.” Is the first thing you say. It doesn’t even sound like you.

“Yeah.” He agrees, and he also doesn’t sound like him.

The awkwardness is almost solid right now. Things used to be so different… you can’t remember one moment in the past when such an uncomfortable feeling lingered between you.

“Hm…” you cough. “What, hm… what about you and Joy?”

Why the fuck are you asking this?, you yell at yourself.

Jungkook looks down and shakes his head. “Let’s not talk about Joy or Taehyung right now, okay?”

You shrug. “I’m just trying to start a conversation.”

“That’s not how you do it.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to do it anymore.”

Jungkook goes silent with this, the quick aggressiveness disappearing as soon as it came. He gulps and looks down at the banana milk between his fingers again.

More silence.

“Can I… can I ask you something?” Jungkook says after a long while. His voice is quiet, hesitant, almost being carried away with the wind.

“What?” You feel your body heating up in anticipation.

He finally looks up to you, and in the moment your eyes meet, you have this weird feeling that everything except him looks blurred.

“Why did you start dating Mike?” He asks. “I warned you about him. I mean, you used to listen to me in the past.”

Oh.

Certainly not the type of question you were expecting.

What a mood killer, Jungkook.

You avoid his gaze again, trying to hide your disappointment. “Why are you asking me this now?”

“I just really want to know.” He takes one more sip of the banana milk.

A sigh escapes through your lips and you stare at the shiny city ahead. You didn’t think you’d have to bring up memories of Mike. It’s been a long time, but it still hurts to remember him.

“I… I just…” you start, trying to organize your thoughts. “You know that Mike had like a… bad relationship with his parents, right?” Jungkook nods. “Mike opened up about this to me. I saw how much it hurt him. He was lonely, broken. And I…” this is being way harder than you expected. You shrug, shake your head. “I don’t know. I was just being my stupid self. I thought I could… I wanted to fix him. I realized that I have this heroine complex, you know?” You side eye him sheepishly. “But there are a lot of things I can’t fix… I’m better at breaking things, not fixing them.”

“Don’t say that. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help people.” The confidence in which Jungkook says this makes, yet again, an odd sensation set in your stomach.

It is probably the first time Jungkook managed to make you blush in your entire life.

A little more silence.

“Did you actually like him?” You can barely hear his voice.

You have no idea why he’s making this questions. Why is he bringing up Mike after so long?

“Well… yes.” You can’t lie right now. “I did.” You make sure to reinforce the did. It’s in the past.

Jungkook nods and says nothing. He takes another banana milk from the plastic bag and opens it.

You inhale, building up your courage to ask something you’ve been wanting to know for a long time. He touched this subject anyway.

“You asked me something, now it’s my turn to ask you something.” Jungkook nods. You have the feeling that he already knows what’s coming. “Why did you break up with Yeri?”

“She broke up with me.”

Oh.

“Why?” You repeat. You can see that Jungkook gets clearly uncomfortable, but you’re not letting him go without an answer - and he already knows how stubborn you can be, too. He shifts, tilts his head, exhales heavily.

“It just didn’t work out.”

“But you liked her. And she liked you, too.” It was pretty obvious to anyone that saw them together.

Jungkook takes a long while to speak again. “I did like her. A lot.” The way his voice sounds fragile surprises you. Seeing him like this is very rare. Jungkook isn’t one to get all emotional too often. It seems that confessing this to you is important to him, somehow.

It also scares you a tiny bit. What if Jungkook still likes her, just like you suspected in the past?

“I didn’t want things to end the way they did.” He continues. His eyes are far away, watching old memories. His shoulders seem tense. He fiddles with the small banana milk bottle between his fingers. “But… some things aren’t meant to be, it doesn’t matter how much you want them to.”

This answer sounds… way too vague. Not what you want to hear. You know there’s more behind their break up, but just by looking at Jungkook you see that he isn’t telling you anything else. Well, this is the most he ever said about his past relationship in almost one year. It’s better than nothing.

And back to silence.

You want to push this awkwardness away. But how? You don’t feel as close to Jungkook as you always were. It’s not as if you could simply say anything in this moment… especially because, somehow, you feel that Jungkook expects you to do something, even though he came all the way to your apartment just to talk.

Say something, goddamnit!

“I’m sorry.” you blurt out.

Jungkook looks at you, but you’re not strong enough to look back at him. You hold the tiny bottle so tightly that it might get smashed at any moment; that’s just how nervous you are.

“Sorry for what?” he asks quietly. You hear the expectation in his voice… almost as if he’s holding his breath.

You can’t help but gulp. I’m not good with this type of thing.

“For everything.” you hate the way your voice sounds so damn fragile. Being sincere like this is somehow… painful. But that’s what Jungkook expects of you: sincerity. So you keep talking, although you don’t know the right words to express yourself. “I… I don’t know why things got like this between us…” you almost gasp. “I mean, I know why. We know why. And I feel very responsible.”

“You have this habit of taking the blame to yourself, isn’t it?” He murmurs. Jungkook shakes his head softly and passes his hand on his hair.

“But I was the one to propose it in the first place.”

“And I agreed.”

“Okay, but…” you have to stop for a moment to recover your breath. “I don’t know, I just feel sorry. I didn’t think of anyone except me all along. I’ve been an awful person to you… and awful friend. Also…” you need to stop again. Why is it so hard to speak? It feels as if there’s something obstructing your throat; the words hardly come out. “What I did that day at Joy’s house… it was wrong. I’m sorry that I made you upset that day.”

Jungkook sighs heavily. You’re still scared to look at him.

“I’m sorry about that day, too. I was rude to you.” Is he apologizing for calling you a slut while you had sex in the bathroom? Well, you definitely didn’t care about that. “I feel sorry too, Y/N. The way we drifted apart from each other…” he gesticulates with his finger between you and him. “The fault is on us both. I already told you, you shouldn’t take all the responsibility to yourself. We were both stupid.”

“Very stupid.” you both chuckle. You feel your heart lightening up for a moment; that strong tension still hovers around you, but now it feels like a different type of tension. Seeing that tiny smile in Jungkook’s lips makes your heart race.

You finally look at each other.

The shadows of the night paint Jungkook’s face. His hair sways with the wind softly. His dark eyes shine as much as diamonds. You never really understood the expression “to get lost in someone’s eyes…”

Well… now you do.

The small moment you two share feels fragile… featherlight. You’re scared that if you say or do something wrong, it’ll break and disappear. You’re scared to break him. To break yourself. This makes you remember that, ever since you were kids, Jungkook has always been the most fragile of you two. He has always been the most sensitive, the one to get hurt easily. Jimin was right all along. How could you do this to him? Why did you let this happen between you two?

“I missed you.” your voice is barely a whisper. Admitting this makes you feel exposed and relieved at the same time. Your throat feels even tighter.

“I missed you, too.” he confesses.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

You smile at each other.

That’s the moment you almost confess something more… your confused feelings for him. You feel the urge to say that you don’t see him as just a friend anymore; that you don’t want to be just a friend anymore.

But something holds you back.

This is maybe the moment when you’re finally being able to reconcile. You don’t know if Jungkook feels the same about you; you don’t want to push him away by throwing your feelings over him. This might destroy you friendship forever.

Then, you decide to keep it all to yourself. At least for now.

“So,” Jungkook says, sighing. “What about that group project?”

You quirk one eyebrow up. “I’m pretty sure you know about the group project.”

Jungkook giggles. “Jimin has been annoying you, too?” you nod. He shakes his head. “He’s a little shit, isn’t he?”

“Yes. He had good intentions, at least.” You shrug.

“He could be a little more subtle, though.” You can’t help but agree. “Congratulations for getting the highest grade.”

“Thank you. Jimin also told me that you’ve been talking to some important people…”

Jungkook smiles beautifully with this. “Yes. It’s a director. He said that he likes my work and that I have talent. I think he’ll invite me to work with him as a trainee for a while.” Your eyes widen in a surprised expression.

“Really?! That’s great, Kook!” It feels so nice to call him Kook again after so long. Slowly, you feel that unbearable tension vanishing and all that’s left is you and him. Two people that know each other better than you know yourselves for most of your lives. In a matter of seconds, the distance that put you apart for months seems to disappear.

Suddenly, you feel a cold drizzle start falling over your heads. Jungkook frowns. “I think we should get down there.”

“Yes.” Before you can think better, you blurt out: “You can sleep here if you want.” Perhaps you shouldn’t have said that, because Jungkook’s frown deepens as he stares at you with suspicion. A shiver of fear runs down your spine. “Hey, that’s not what I mean.” You’re quick to say, waving your hands. “Before this sex thing started there was just us, remember? I… I miss us.”

Jungkook thinks for some moments, his eyes never leaving yours.

Then, a tiny smile makes its way to his lips - and you’re happy to see that the smile reaches his eyes, too. “Okay.”

“Wait- so Irene and Jennie made up?” Jungkook asks from the kitchen, surprised.

“That’s what it looks like. I mean, they did post some photos together on Instagram.” you say while adjusting the pillows and blankets on the mattress you placed in the living room. Yours’ and Seulgi’s friends come to sleep over a lot, so you’re used to do it - you even bought some spare sheets and blankets for this occasion.

“But you can’t be sure that they are together just because of some photos.”

“Yeah, but you know Seulgi. She jumped to conclusions. Being honest, they don’t look like a couple in these photos… but I don’t think there’s anything I can say that will change her mind at this point. I tried everything.”

“I don’t really think that they’ll make up this time.” Jungkook admits. You walk over to the kitchen and lean on the counter, opposite to him.

“I feel bad for her. Seulgi still loves Irene and she can’t get over it. I think it’s the first time she spends the night out in a long while… and it isn’t even to have fun. I’m worried.”

He pouts and shrugs, eyes focused in building up his sandwich. “Maybe we should just let her figure things out by herself.”

“But she’s doing nothing.”

Jungkook stops adding ketchup just to stare at you and quirk his eyebrows. “Y/N. I think I already said that you should stop trying to be a cupid, like… a million times.”

“I didn’t say I’d do something!” You do your best to sound offended.

“I know you, woman. I’ve seen this face many times. You look like an evil gremlin.”

“I don’t!” you cross your arms. You forgot how annoying it is that Jungkook knows you so well, because you did think of doing something to help her. You’re so tired of seeing you friend being sad all the time. All she does these days is watch Netflix and complain. She already started to look like a zombie at this point. No one can blame you for being concerned. “Besides, gremlins are cute.”

“You’re the only person on this planet that thinks this.” He shakes his head slightly, his hair waving in the process.

“Why did you let your hair grow so much?” You ask, resting your chin over your palm.

“Because I look good with long hair.” Jungkook shrugs, a smug smirk on his face.

“You cocky little shit.”

“Am I wrong for telling the truth?” He looks up at you again, playful. You can’t even tell he’s wrong: that long hair really matches his looks and personality.

“Hey, are you still helping Namjoon and Yoongi?” you ask when Jungkook starts to make a fourth sandwich. Yes, you guys do eat a lot.

“Yeah. I haven’t been to the studio in a few days, but they still call me whenever they need me.” Jungkook presses his lips together and shifts a little: nervousness. “I… I kind of helped them write a song.”

“Really? But you said you were just ‘lending’ them your voice to record demos.”

“Yeah, but I felt kind of inspired. It was just for fun, though.” He shifts his eyes to you then back to the sandwich very rapidly. “Maybe I’ll let you listen to it any other day.”

“Aw, come on! I’ve been wanting to listen to your songs for so long!” you whine.

“I said maybe. When the right time comes.”

You don’t really get what he means with it.

For a while, you just sit there and watch Jungkook. He looks so carefree and relaxed; he moves around the kitchen as if it’s his own house. He knows where everything is in the cabinets. In a way, this really is his second house considering how often he comes… even when he used to come just to fuck during these past months. It feels so nice to see him not being all tensed up and uncomfortable around you anymore. He even starts to sing quietly, his voice as sweet and smooth as cotton candy filling up the entire house. You’re one of the few people that Jungkook feels confident enough to sing around. It’s almost a privilege.

You have been staring at him unceremoniously for so long that Jungkook frowns and looks back at you, frowning. “What?”

“Nothing.” You shake your head. “It’s just that… Namjoon is right. You could’ve been famous with this voice.” Jungkook smiles shyly. “And this face.” He turns around to open the fridge. “And this ass.”

He frowns. “Seriously?”

“What? I’m being honest. And don’t act like you don’t stare at my ass all the time.”

Jungkook chuckles and shakes his head in that way that means I can’t stand you.

“Done.” He claps his hands together. Four giant sandwiches, coke, popcorn and m&ms (let’s say that you and Seulgi don’t have exactly the healthier type of food at home).

“Okay. I’ll take these, get changed first if you want,” you say while taking the plates to the living room. Of course there would be some of his clothes at your place.

When Jungkook sees the clothes you chose, he stares at you with an outraged expression. “My grey hoodie!”

“…yes.”

“You said you didn’t know where it was!”

You stop and click your tongue. “…funny how I found it at the bottom of my drawer tonight, huh?”

He knows you’re lying. But you won’t tell him that slept wearing his hoodie some nights because it smelled like him. He doesn’t need to know this.

“Hoodie thief.” He says and taps your head jokingly, making his way to the bathroom. You’re wearing sleeping clothes as well - and you made sure to choose your ugliest and largest ones. You don’t want Jungkook to think you asked him to sleep here just to end up having sex.

He comes back and throws himself on the mattress by your side. You’re very aware of the immense space between you; another person could fit in here. “What are we going to watch?”

“I think I’ve watched the entire Netflix catalogue at this point because of Seulgi.” you admit, shoving popcorn inside your mouth. Jungkook takes your phone and scrolls down the Netflix page.

“There’s always something more to watch.”

You end up arguing about what movie to watch. Actually, you spend more time arguing and scrolling down through the Netflix endless catalogue than watching something.

You don’t touch each other not even once. The physical distance almost feels like a living being.

You end up giving up on Netflix and watching Avengers Endgame for the hundredth time anyway.

And yes - Jungkook cries at the ending of the film.

You wake up with the sunlight touching your face.

It’s awful. You close your eyes tightly and yawn, a little bit confused at first. What am I doing in the living room? You search for your phone to check the hour: it’s seven in the morning. Shit. Whenever you can sleep until late hours, you end up waking up early…

You turn your head to the side and freeze.

It’s Jungkook.

Now you remember everything. The TV is still on, which means both of you fell asleep while watching it. The empty plates and glasses are placed over the coffee table.

You never slept together before.

There was only one time when it happened - the first and only, when you two got wasted and the whole story started. Other than that, you never slept together. First, because you had more interesting things to do other than sleep. Second, because sleeping together feels way too intimate. It didn’t matter how tired you were after fucking, when you finished cleaning up, you’d both put your clothes back on and walk back to your respective homes. You vehemently avoided doing anything that might feel too intimate - kissing, sleeping together… after a while, you even avoided looking at each other right in the eye while having sex.

You’re not touching; there is still a great space between your bodies. Yet… just the thought that you slept with Jungkook makes your heart race.

You don’t move a single centimeter. You just lay there and… look at him.

His long hair is a mess. His face is adorably puffy, lips slightly parted. He looks peaceful. The way his chest moves up and down as he breathes is hypnotizing.

He’s seriously so beautiful.

But now, you don’t think of it in a sexual way. Back then, you’d always admire how hot Jungkook is, his godlike physique, how lucky you were to be having sex with a guy like him… not now. You just feel mesmerized by his features. The long eyelashes touching his cheeks. The tiny moles on his face and neck. Some old acne scars.

It’s odd, but right now, you realize just how much you’ve been missing him. It doesn’t make sense - Jungkook is right here, barely an arm apart from you. You made up last night and it seems that everything is back to normal. Still, you desperately miss him.

Your chest fills up with something strange and unknown. It’s sweet and painful. It makes your heart feel tight, your nerves feel like burning and your eyes well up with tears.

This is the face of the person that has been with you during most of your life.

He’s a part of you.

The most important part of you.

In this moment, your feelings for him are so great that it seems that they can’t even fit inside of you anymore.

You watch him sleep for a long time, too scared to move and wake him up. But eventually, he sighs heavily and moves his head, indicating he’s about to wake up.

His eyes finally open and he yawns.

“Good morning.” He says when his eyes focus on you, smiling softly. Jungkook’s voice sounds deep and raspy. He stretches his arms over his head. “I mean… if it’s still morning.”

“It is,” you say softly.

He stares at the ceiling with heavy-lidded eyes. “I dreamed that babies came from eggs. Like ostrich eggs.” He chuckles. “And women gave birth to the eggs like chickens.”

You don’t say anything and just keep watching him instead.

Jungkook finally turns his head at you and frowns, still smiling softly. “What?”

“Nothing.” You say so quietly that he can barely hear.

He gazes back at you.

Slowly, the smile on his lips disappears.

You feel the tension building up around you - but this time it feels different. It’s not a bad tension like what you experienced last night at the terrace, nor is it dense like when you two were aroused and desperate to find a place and please yourselves. This time, it feels delicate but heavy nevertheless. It makes your blood boil and your heart race.

Jungkook’s eyes are serious, heavy and intense over you. All the playfulness is gone. None of you say a word. You don’t even know if you have the power to move considering how heavy the tension is.

He extends his arm and his fingertips touch your cheek. Your skin feels burning hot. Delicately, he puts a strand of hair behind your ear. It’s strange how he’s doing the exact same thing Taehyung did, but with Jungkook, this simple touch made you feel like exploding right there.

Jungkook is the one to come closer. Closer and closer and closer. Your breathing is heavy. He caresses your cheek his his thumb. Soon, his face is right in front of yours - noses touching, eyes locked and burning with something you can’t quite name.

You stare at each other like this for a moment until his gaze finally drops to your mouth.

You both lean in for the kiss at the same time.

You have already tasted these lips multiple times before - but now, it’s different. The kiss is slow; you move your lips unhurriedly and sweetly. Yet, this kiss feels much more intense than any other you have shared before. None of those times when you kissed him desperately with luxury being the only thing on your mind comes even close to the intensity of this kiss.

It almost feels that this is the actual first time you kiss Jungkook.

Your breathing gets even heavier as the kiss deepens. His hand rests on your waist, while yours hold his neck. The sloppy sounds of your lips and tongues moving together are the only audible thing in the apartment. Your whole being screams in excitement and anticipation when Jungkook moves his body to hover over yours, not even once breaking the kiss. Your right hand grabs his smooth hair while the other travels up and down his back; your body is getting burning hot. Jungkook moans very softly. You start to feel the familiar wetness on your panties.

Jungkook leans away for a moment; his lips are red and swollen, his hair is even messier now, his dark eyes are clouded with want and something you can’t name - something so strong that he’s able to make you shiver with that look alone. He leans down again and starts to kiss and suck your neck very slowly, making soft moans escape through your lips. His hand sneaks under your baggy shirt and he squeezes your breast. Soon, his lips are on yours again and the kiss becomes much deeper. You can already feel sweat forming on your forehead. Jungkook starts to grind on you; you can clearly feel his clothed erection rub against your own core, what makes more and more strangled moans come from both of you.

This is the hottest make out session of your life. The entire atmosphere is not what you’re used to; it’s not playful, none of you say a word. No teasing, no dirty talk. All you do is try to touch each other the best you can, never once breaking the kiss. It’s as if, with this kiss, you’re having a conversation… you’re telling each other everything you’re not brave enough to say out loud.

Soon, the desperation becomes too big. There’s no time to play, you just want to have him inside of you and feel his warm skin against yours. Unceremoniously, you start to undress yourselves, kissing every spot you can find in the process - neck, chest, stomach. Your clothes are thrown around the living room. You lay on your back again and Jungkook hovers above you once more, your legs entangling around his hips as he positions his hard member on your entrance.

You always avoided this position because it is too intimate; you’re forced to look at each other like this. This time, though, it doesn’t matter. You want to look at him - and the sight of his face contorting in pure pleasure, lips parted and eyes closed tightly as he eases himself inside of you, is almost as good as the feeling of being stretched after a long time.

Jungkook doesn’t move at first. He knows he’ll hurt you if he goes too hard right from the beginning. Instead, he waits until you call his name quietly in a strangled moan - the sign he needs to start thrusting. He rests his head on your shoulder and grabs the pillow under your head tightly as he picks up his pace, slow and steady, soft groans coming from the back of his throat that make you feel goosebumps. You hold his back with both hands. You can’t shut the moans anymore.

Sweat makes your skin slippery as he thrusts faster. Jungkook licks and bites your ear, moaning right into it, and it feels that this alone could make you cum. He then leans away for a moment, creating some space between your bodies to have a better angle to keep smashing himself into you - faster and faster, stronger and stronger. The usual sound of skin hitting skin, heavy breathing and moans is all you can hear.

You said that you didn’t ask him to sleep here just to have sex - and you weren’t lying.

But this doesn’t feel like just sex.

This isn’t fucking.

The pleasure is getting unsustainable and you both feel it. You close your legs around him even tighter and pull his face with both hands, sealing your lips in another intense, desperate kiss. It’s sloppy and unsynchronized. It’s raw and rough and so full of emotions you can’t comprehend that you feel your eyes tearing up again.

What you’re experiencing right now isn’t just two people finding pleasure in each other. It isn’t simply carnal instinct.

It is the deepest and most sincere way to connect with another being - without any words, through touches only.

You never felt anything like this in your life - not with Mike or any of your past boyfriends and hook ups. This is beyond lust. This is beyond sex.

Jungkook breaks the kiss apart for a second to look at you. Your gazes lock. God, he’s beautiful. Not only his appearance, but everything about him is beautiful.

And it is right now - stating deep into his eyes - that you come to a conclusion.

Jungkook has always been a part of you. But, in this exact moment, it feels like more.

It feels that you two became one.

He leans down and kisses you again. Your lips are tightly sealed when you both come at the same time.

Your trembling fingers still hold the strands of his damp hair tightly. You caress his face softly, putting some hair away from his eyes. Jungkook kisses you again. And again, and again, and again, and again.

You’re glad when he rests his head on your shoulder again, because like this, he can’t see the tears trickling down your temples.

It’s still hard to understand what just happened. Honestly, you think you’ll never fully understand.

But one thing you do understand, one thing that became as clear as the morning sky, is that your feelings for Jungkook are deeper and stronger than you ever imagined. He’s so much more than a friend.

Yet, you don’t know if he sees you the same way.

You don’t know if he felt the same things you did or if this was just one more time having sex with you. You don’t know if he still has feelings for Yeri or if he’s developing any for Joy.

You know nothing - and this fact makes your heart hurt as if it is being stabbed…

Because Jungkook, the best and most important part of you, might never be truly yours.

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