#// anyways this was a lot more rushed compared to the first one. which is why the fog isnt (mostly) seamless between panels
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play nicely
while You are Gone.
Hah!
#Greyed Walls Event#The Fox Speaks#<- // Ending!#// RAHH ITS DONE AT A REASONABLE TIME.#// Damn they weren't lying. That fox really can not be a fox#// anyways this was a lot more rushed compared to the first one. which is why the fog isnt (mostly) seamless between panels#- and why only the last panel's fog was rendered by ghost
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PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3| PART 4
Behind Closed Doors 4
Your frustration over his broken promise melts away as soon as he calls, and you find yourself unexpectedly drawn to his voice, more than you anticipated.
Warnings: (18+, MDNI) Phone sex, mutual (and guided) masturbation, dirty talk ~4.7k words
A/n: this is just me wishing he was on quinn😔 anyway enjoy part 4, this mini series is not dead (i don’t even know how long it will be but let’s just celebrate that I’m finally updating)
All men do is lie, you thought as you flopped onto your bed.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t entirely his fault—but you weren’t in the mood to be reasonable. You remembered that car ride vividly. He had promised you more time together, a moment to finally be alone. Instead, what did you get? A new case, then another, and amidst all the chaos and dodging bullets (literally and metaphorically), you two somehow managed to drift apart.
The past few weeks had been the busiest since you started working at the BAU, and that was saying a lot, considering there was never really a moment of peace when you worked for the government. But this time was different, it seemed even more chaotic than usual. Every time you thought of bringing up the conversation with him—or maybe sneak in a little make-out session—something urgent would come up.
There was never the right time, or the right moment. It felt as if the universe had other plans for you, and none of them involved the two of you getting a moment alone. And before you knew it, you were caught in this maddening cycle of missed opportunities, and the worst thing was, you were sexually frustrated.
This time, you had no one else to blame but him. Ever since he came into the picture, your carefully maintained self-control had started to slip, and now, despite your best efforts, you couldn’t ignore the growing need between your legs. It was aching, throbbing, and even the thought of him was making you hot and restless.
How did he manage to do that? He wasn’t even trying. There was nothing overtly seductive in the way he moved or spoke, and yet every glance, every accidental touch, seemed to affect you. Spencer. Just his name made your breath hitch, your body betraying you. You weren’t proud to admit this, but the mere thought of his fingers brushing your skin had you feeling that first rush of arousal slipping into your panties.
You huffed, considering digging out your pink silicone toy hidden somewhere in your drawer. And while you were contemplating this, knowing it had been a while since you last used it because nothing could compare to the feeling of his touch now, your phone on the bedside table rang.
Maybe the universe was really testing you, because his name flashed across the screen and it took a lot of self-control for you not to pick up on the first ring and demand him to fuck you right there and then, which sounded too crass when you weren’t in the middle of straddling his lap like the last time. So instead, you decided to wait until the sixth ring before you answered with a curt, “Hey.”
There was a pause, then a sigh. “You’re mad at me.”
Could he tell? Of course, he could. He always had an uncanny ability to read you, even over the phone. “Mad? Why would I be mad?”
“I can almost see you rolling your eyes.”
“I never roll my eyes,” you shot back.
“You rolled your eyes last week when Luke tried to tell us that his dog could sniff out bodies better than our trained ones.”
You suppressed a smile, surprised that he even noticed you giving Luke a once-over at that particular moment. “That was because his dog chases its tail more than it chases leads.”
"And I'm not worthy of an eye roll?"
“Honestly, you deserve more than an eye roll,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.
"So you are mad,” he stated, growing quiet for a while. “I’m sorry.”
And now you felt bad. You ran a hand through your hair, trying to clear your thoughts. “It’s not your fault.”
“I know, but it doesn’t make me feel any less better.”
You felt a pang of guilt as you stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t exactly fair to blame him. Serial killers, unfortunately, didn’t come with a schedule, and now Spencer was already on his leave. You recalled the excitement in his voice when he told you about the seminars Emily had arranged for him to teach. He had spoken with an enthusiasm you hadn’t heard in a long time, his eyes practically lighting up every time he mentioned it.
How could you be upset about that?
"I'm not... mad.”
There was a slight teasing note in his voice as he replied, "Just annoyed then?"
You held back a smile. "Maybe a little."
“Anything I can do to help with that?” His voice softened through the phone. “Is there any way I can make it up to you?”
Your thoughts immediately went to the sticky situation between your legs, and you felt a flush of embarrassment. Technically, he could help with that. But could you say that? Should you?
"I don’t know, depends on what you have in mind,” you replied, trying to steer your mind away from the direction it was heading. There was a pause, a silence that hung in the air as he carefully considered his next words.
"I could… start by telling you how much I miss you?”
Now that, you didn’t expect. Your heart fluttered wildly in your chest. Spencer had never really acknowledged his feelings with words when his actions spoke volumes, but hearing him say it out loud made the emotions between you feel undeniably real. It was as if his words shattered whatever platonic friendship the two of you had built over the past years.
Although you knew your friendship had fundamentally changed the moment he had you pinned on the desk that fine afternoon, it didn’t stop you from questioning about where you truly stood.
"You miss the idea of me," you corrected him, unable to resist yourself.
“You know that’s not true,” he replied gently.
“Do I?”
“Yes, you know me better than that,” he insisted. “You’re a great profiler, you can tell if I’m not being honest.”
A small smile tugged at the corners of your mouth, despite trying to stay mad at him. "You hate being profiled.”
"That was before I realized how useful your skills are in deciphering my feelings.”
“You know I’d rather you tell me how you feel.”
“I did, I miss you, and you chose not to believe me.”
Your cheeks actually ached from smiling too much. You couldn’t help but feel a warm, tingling sensation spread through you. “Fine,” you sighed, finally giving in. “I believe you.”
“And?”
You rolled onto your side. “And what?”
“Do you not miss my absence at work?”
“Well…”
“Well?” He prompted.
Now how could you tell him you missed more than just his presence? How could you admit that you missed the way he made you feel, the way his breath felt hot against your skin, without sounding obvious or too needy? Because you missed everything about him. His hands, his lips, his tongue—oh dear god, his tongue.
Spencer suddenly called out your name, and you forced yourself to focus, feeling your heartbeat quicken as you cleared your throat.
“Yes, I—I miss you,” you finally admitted.
There was a pause, then his voice came through, lighter, teasing. “Why do you sound like that?”
“…like what?”
“Like you’re out of breath.”
You gripped the sheets tightly, the fabric bunching under your fingers. How could you even begin to explain this to him now that he was onto you? You felt like you were on the verge of a full-blown emotional meltdown. God, if he knew how many times you’d replayed every kiss, every touch, in your mind, he’d never let you live it down.
It was almost laughable, really. Here you were, trying to keep it together, and failing miserably. “It’s just… I really, really miss you.”
“You really miss me? Are you trying to say something?”
You hesitated, your mind scrambling for the right words without revealing too much. “No…?”
“Mhm,” he replied, clearly unconvinced. “You’re not telling me everything.”
You gripped the phone tighter. “I’m just saying... It's hard without you here. You know, in every way.”
“In every way?”
You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling both embarrassed and mortified. “I just... I miss how you make me feel. Physically.”
“Physically?” he pressed. “Can you elaborate?”
“I’m... you know, I’ve been... missing certain things. Certain... activities.”
“Certain activities,” he repeated your words once again. It was then that you realized he was teasing you, clearly enjoying your discomfort a little too much. “You mean like... talking?”
“No. More like... the other stuff we do when we’re alone.”
"I don't understand."
At that point, your embarrassment was gnawing at you. You wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. “God, Spencer, don’t make me say it,” you groaned, burying your face in your pillow.
“Come on, I need a little more than that.” He sounded both amused and curious. “I’m just making sure I understand you right.”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” you muttered into the pillow, your voice muffled but still clear enough for him to hear.
“Actually, I don’t think I do. You could be missing so many things, you have to help me out here.”
You turned your head to the side, exasperation coloring your tone. “Spencer…”
"Yes?" he responded innocently.
"You’re really going to make me say it, aren’t you?”
"I find precise communication to be very important.”
You let out a groan, feeling the last of your restraint crumble. “Alright! Fine!” you snapped. “I’m horny, okay? And it’s all your fault!”
His laughter rang through the phone, and you could almost see the grin spreading across his face. “My fault?"
"Yes! I feel like a deprived, horny teenager here, and I just…”
You trailed off, hardly believing you had actually said that out loud. The realization hit you like a wave, and for a moment, you wished you could take it back. There was a pause that seemed to stretch on forever and you wondered if you had gone too far.
He finally broke the silence, breathing out your name in a way that made your skin tingle. "You could've told me from the start."
You could, but you’d rather not.
"I didn't want to sound desperate."
"You can be desperate with me,” he said softly. “Just say the word and I’ll give you anything you want.”
If there was one thing Spencer was good at, it was getting under your skin. He really shouldn’t be saying those words, not now, not when it was making you crave him even more. You swallowed, feeling a tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach. The part of you that always played it safe wanted to retract, to laugh it off as a joke. But then there was that other part, the part that craved his attention, the part that was tired of holding back.
“Tell me, what do you want now?”
You took a deep breath and laid on your back, the words catching in your throat. You felt your pulse quicken.
“I want… you.”
“Tell me how you want me.”
Your fingers trailed over the sheets, your touch light as you imagined it was him beneath your fingertips. “Spencer…”
“Come on,” he pressed. “Tell me.”
You paused, your heart pounding in your chest. You could almost imagine him right in front of you, staring at you with those beautiful brown eyes that always managed to make you melt, coaxing words from you that you barely dared to think, let alone speak.
Just say it. He's waiting. He wants to hear it.
Your hand began to move.
“I… I want your hands on me.”
“Where do you want my hands?”
“Everywhere,” you whispered, your fingers grazing your body as if they were his. You closed your eyes.
“Everywhere?”
You found yourself nodding even though he couldn’t see you.
“On my hips…”
Your hand danced across your hips.
“My stomach…”
Your palm slipped under your shirt, moving slowly up your abdomen, feeling the warmth of your own touch and wishing it was his.
“Between my thighs…”
You paused at the hem of your panties, the only barrier beneath your shirt, hesitating as a flush of warmth spread through you. The line was silent for a moment, save for the sound of his breathing—a soft, heavy rhythm that matched the pounding of your own heart.
“Where else do you want me?”
Your fingers dipped inside the fabric. “I want you lower…”
“Tell me exactly where.”
“Where I’m most sensitive,” you confessed, the words slipping out before you could stop them. Your thighs instinctively squeezed together, hips rolling gently as your free hand began to drift south. “Spencer… please…”
“Are you touching yourself?”
“I…”
“Are you?”
“No…”
“Do you want to touch yourself?”
You licked your lips, your breath coming faster. “Maybe.”
“Then do it, no one’s stopping you.”
You hesitated, the reality of the situation sinking in. You couldn’t believe this was happening, that you were having this conversation with him. "This feels so naughty.”
"Naughty can be nice, though, right?" he assured you. "Don't think about it too much. It’s just you and me.”
There really was something about his voice, the way it effortlessly wrapped around you—smooth, coaxing, almost hypnotic. Despite the hesitation that tugged at your mind, your hand began to move lower, and your legs parting involuntarily. A soft gasp escaped your lips when your hand flew right to your pussy, fingers quickly tracing the length of your folds. You were already wet, and you began to spread your arousal towards your clit.
“Spencer…” you whined, feeling the sudden rush of sensations.
“Keep going,” he urged. “Tell me what you feel.”
You closed your eyes. “It feels… good…”
“Describe it to me.”
You took a shaky breath, trying to find the words through the haze of pleasure. “It’s warm and wet… and…”
And you wished he was the one touching you.
You let your mind drift to your fantasy. You imagined it was his fingers circling your clit. You imagined his lips against yours, the way they would move together. You imagined him whispering these words right in front of you, his eyes locked on yours as you writhed beneath him. The fantasy felt so vivid that for a moment, you could almost feel his weight pressing down on you, his presence enveloping you completely.
Your imagination urged you to move faster, but you felt limited by the fabric in the way. You called out his name. “Can I… can I take my, um, underwear off?”
You could almost hear the smile in his voice as he replied, “Of course you can.”
You put your phone down, and with trembling fingers, you slid the fabric down your legs. You discarded them quickly and turned the call to speaker before you settled back on the bed. Your hand returned to your body, fingers brushing over your sensitive skin. You parted your legs even wider, and as your fingers found their rhythm, a moan escaped you.
“Better?”
You sighed in relief as you continued to rub your clit. “So much better.”
“Keep it slow, okay? We don’t want to rush.”
His voice was low and soothing, and you couldn’t believe how just by his voice he had gotten you so worked up.
“Now press a little harder.” You complied, applying a bit more pressure on your clit. "Right there. Do you feel that?"
"Yes," you gasped, your back slightly arching off the bed.
“I wish I could see you right now," he murmured. “I'd kiss you where you're touching.”
You let your imagination take over. You pictured him with his head right between your thighs, his eyes locked on yours with those intense, pretty eyes. You imagined his mouth moving over your clit, sucking gently while his fingers explored between your folds. The thought was so vivid, so real, that you could almost feel his warm breath against your skin.
The mental image of him looking up at you was almost too much to bear. “Spencer…”
"Keep going. Are your fingers wet?" You could simply moan back a reply, not trusting your own voice. “Now slowly slide in one. Can you do that for me?”
You did as he said, sliding a finger into your wetness. You could feel how tight you were, the slick warmth of your arousal enveloping your skin. You looked down between your legs and watched as you pleased yourself. It wasn’t exactly an unfamiliar sight. You had done this countless times before, but never with the voice of a man guiding you, especially Spencer—the last person you’d imagine doing this with.
Yet look at how much effect he had on you.
"You're quiet," his voice suddenly came through. "Are you still with me?"
"Yes," you managed to whisper. "It's just... a lot."
"In a good way, I hope?"
“Very good,” you assured him.
You could practically picture the corner of his lips twitching into a proud smile. “Good,” he recited. “Now try adding another finger.”
You couldn't help a moan escaping your lips as you pushed in your middle finger, the sound louder than you intended.
"How does that feel?"
"Full," you breathed out, adjusting to the sensation.
“Yeah? I bet you’re so tight.”
You were, awfully so. Your walls clenched around your fingers, almost swallowing them as you started to move them in a steady rhythm. The pleasure built in your lower stomach, a warm, coiling tension that made you desperate for more. You needed his voice, you craved his guidance, even from afar.
“Spence…” you whined. “Keep talking, please.”
“You want me to describe how I’d touch you if I were there?”
You moaned in response, the sound escaping your lips involuntarily, urging him to continue.
“If I were there,” he began, his voice low, “I’d start by kissing you slowly.”
You could almost feel it, his lips on yours, his tongue probing inside your mouth.
“I’d move lower,” he continued. “Kiss your neck, your collarbone… while my fingers would move along your hips, your thighs, getting closer and closer to where you need me most.”
You whimpered, your fingers moving faster as you followed his vivid description, imagining his touch guiding you.
“I’d tease you, brush my fingers right at your entrance,” he whispered. “Then, I’d slip them inside you, just like you’re doing now.”
Your breaths came in short gasps.
“I’d spread your legs wide,” he continued again, and you heard a faint rustling noise in the background. “I’d move my fingers in… and… out...”
Your legs fell further apart.
“I’d curl my fingers the same way I did that day,” he went on. “Do you remember?”
How could you not? It never truly left your mind. You could picture that day clearly, the feeling of his fingers and mouth working on your sensitive spot seemed to linger in your memory.
“I’d do the same thing that you like,” he proceeded, and you focused on his voice. “I’d lean in close… licking you… sucking you.”
You moaned loudly as the image of his mouth on your clit flashed through your mind. You could almost feel the way he would sloppily lap at you, drinking in every drop of your arousal with each eager flick of his tongue.
“Go faster for me,” he urged. “I-I want to hear how wet you are.”
You followed his words, and the slick sounds of your arousal filled the quiet around you as you imagined him there, his fingers replacing yours. You could hear more noise through the line, the subtle rustle of clothes moving, the faint sound of his breathing growing heavier before he let out a low grunt.
“You make the prettiest sounds,” he breathed out. “Now add another finger.”
Your eyes narrowed into a frown, trying to slip a third finger in but the stretch was too intense for you to continue. “I-I can’t.”
“Shh, it’s okay,” he soothed. “Just take it slow. Try to relax.”
You took a deep breath, trying to follow his instructions. You slowly eased in another finger, feeling the awkward stretch but the initial discomfort quickly faded into a deeper pleasure, and you moaned softly.
“Oh, fuck.”
“There you go,” he encouraged. “Feel that? Feel how full you are?”
You hummed a reply.
“That’s how I want you to feel when I’m finally inside you.”
A whine left your lips. In your head, you saw him, his body poised above yours, his cock sliding smoothly into you. You imagined the slick, rhythmic motion, the way each thrust would fill you, stretching you, overwhelming you. You cried out a filthy moan at the thought, unabashed and desperate, as you began to pump your fingers inside your cunt.
“Push deeper for me… I know you can take it.”
You gasped, pushing your fingers as deep as they could go. “I can’t… I need… oh…”
“I know, I know,” he whispered. “You need more. You need me inside you, don’t you?”
“Spencer, please…” you begged, your voice breaking into desperate, choked sobs.
“You want that? You want to feel me stretch you?”
“Yes, yes…” you managed to moan out, your movements became more desperate.
“God, you’d be so tight around me… I’d have your legs spread wide so I… I-I could see how perfect you’d take me.”
You could almost feel his hands on your hips, his body pressing against yours, filling you completely. Your fingers moved frantically, your breaths coming in short, ragged gasps as you felt the tension building to an unbearable peak.
“You’d pull me closer, wouldn’t you? You’d ask for more, like you always do, and I’d give it to you,” he promised. “I’d give it to you so hard… s-so deep…”
And that was when you heard it—the unmistakable sound of wetness, like skin sliding over slick, damp skin. The sound was filthy, making your pulse race as you wondered what he might be doing on the other end of the line. Your voice trembled as you slowly asked him, “Spence, are you…?”
There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end before he let out a soft, almost sheepish laugh, as if you had caught him red-handed. “I… yeah,” he admitted, his voice breathless and strained. "Do you know how hard it is not to when listening to your voice?"
Your fingers subconsciously quickened at his confession, their movements becoming more urgent as you imagined him laying on his own bed, hand wrapped around his cock. You bit your lip to stifle your moans as you whispered, “Tell me what you’re doing.”
His breathing grew ragged, his words coming in clipped bursts. “I’m… I’m touching myself…”
You tried to focus on his voice, but the sound of his sloppy strokes began to echo louder. “Tell me more.”
“I’m… I’m rubbing… my fingers over the head,” he gasped, and you curled your fingers deeper, using your palm to grind against your clit. The way he sounded so lost in his pleasure, unable to hold back, had you imagining him stroking himself. You pictured yourself doing it for him, remembering how it felt that day when you had his cock in your hand—the weight, the warmth, the way he looked at you through intense eyes.
Your breathing grew heavier, louder, and his voice cracked with a strained moan as he whispered, “Can you lower your phone?”
You fumbled with the device, bringing it closer to where your fingers worked tirelessly between your legs. “Like this?”
“God, yes,” he groaned, the sound of his strokes growing faster and more urgent. “You sound so perfect.”
You let out a soft cry, your fingers thrusting in and out of your cunt frantically as you imagined him watching you, listening to every sound you made. The wet, slick noises filled the room, so intense and filthy. You looked down to see your juices spilling over your fingers, soaking the sheets beneath you. The sheer sound of it was enough to drive him crazy.
“I—f-faster, please,” he panted into the phone. “I need you to go faster.”
Your eyes widened for a moment as the desperate plea slipped from his lips. But you didn’t have the mental space to think about it. Your focus was solely on reaching your release as you ultimately sped up your pace. Your body began to tighten up, feeling so much pressure and pleasure building up every time your fingertips hit that deep spot inside you.
"Oh—fuck!” You exhaled sharply as the familiar sensation took over you. “I’m cumming I’m cumming I’m cumming—”
With a cry that was both a sob and a shout, your pussy fluttered around your fingers. Your orgasm ripped through you without warning, sending shockwaves of intense pleasure through your body as you gasped and shuddered. Your voice escaped in broken moans and whines, his name falling from your lips like a prayer.
“Spencer… oh, God, Spencer…”
The sound of your climax drove him to his own release. His breath hitched, his movements faltering as he let out a harsh sound from his throat. It was raw and unrestrained, downright filthy, and you listened intently, your fingers slipping out only to circle and rub your clit, drawing out the final waves of your orgasm.
Finally, when you couldn’t take it anymore, your hand fell away, and you lay there, breathing heavily, your body relaxing into the bed. Your room was quiet afterward, the only sound coming from was the sound of your own breathing. Then you heard him calling out your name, checking in. But through the post-orgasmic bliss, all you could manage in response was a giggle.
“You’re… laughing?” He mused. “Should I be concerned?”
“No, no,” you replied, still catching your breath, a satisfied smile spreading across your face. “It’s just… I can’t believe we did that.”
A gentle laugh escaped his lips, a warm, soothing sound that calmed your racing heart. "Did you like it?"
You liked it a lot. "Can’t say that I didn’t.”
"So I take it you're not mad at me anymore?"
You let out a soft, contented sigh. “I wasn’t even that mad to begin with. Just… frustrated,” you confessed. “But I think we handled that pretty well.”
“Maybe a little too well,” he agreed softly. “I can't believe I need to take a shower this late.”
You looked down between your legs at his words, and a wave of embarrassment washed over you as you noticed the patch of wetness on your bed. It wasn't small—it spread across the fabric in a noticeable, damp stain. “Uh, yeah,” you admitted with a nervous laugh. “I also need to change my sheets.”
Then you heard a low, almost pained groan from his end of the line.
“What?”
“It’s just…” He paused, and you could almost hear him struggling to find the right words. "I'm now picturing you on your bed."
"Isn't that what you've been doing?"
"Well, yes, but now it's… different."
You couldn't help the amused grin that spread across your face. "Different how?"
"Let's just say the image in my mind is a lot more detailed now and it's not helping me calm down."
A burst of laughter erupted from your chest as you gripped your phone closer to you. “Is this your way of blaming me because you still have a hard-on?” you taunted. “I mean, I’m simply stating the facts.”
“But you’re painting a picture in my head.”
“Of me drenching the sheets just by hearing your voice?”
He made a low, strained sound. “Stop.”
“I can send you a picture if you like,” you offered slyly. “Help you visualize it better.”
There was a moment of stunned silence on his end before he finally muttered, “You shouldn’t.”
“You’re right, I shouldn’t.”
“But if you insist…”
You laughed softly. “Good night, Spencer.”
“Wait—You’re hanging up?”
“Yep,” you said cheerfully. “I thought you needed a shower.”
He made another frustrated sound, somewhere between a groan and a sigh, before reluctantly agreeing. “Fine, fine. Good night.”
And that was it. You ended the call with a satisfied smile. But as you stared at your phone, a rush of thoughts began to swirl through your mind. You were well aware of the potential risks of what you were about to do—how it could be traced back to you. You could almost hear Penelope lecturing you about online security and the dangers of leaving a digital footprint.
But when your mind kept circling back to Spencer—Spencer’s breathless voice, Spencer’s prominent veins on his hands, Spencer with a freaking hard-on in his bed—it was hard to think rationally. Before you could stop yourself, you propped your phone on your pillow and posed for the camera. Legs spread wide, your nipples pressing against your shirt, a flirtatious smile playing on your lips. The shot looked like it came out of a porno movie. You quickly sent it to him.
It took exactly 7 seconds before your phone rang again.
“Yes, Spencer?” you answered, trying to sound innocent.
You heard shuffling and a muffled grunt, and then, faintly, the rustling of fabric. It sounded like he was fumbling with his phone, and you couldn’t help but bite your lip at the frustration in his voice.
“How do I turn this into video call again?”
#behind closed doors#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fic#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x female reader#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencerreid#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid fluff#Fanfiction#gifwriting
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REQUEST: A reader much more powerful than Arlecchino and not doing anything about it.. except in bed.
☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Arlecchino x dom!Reader
☆ — TYPE: NSFW
☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Mention of bloodplay at the very end but like. Very minor. Otherwise there's nothing 🤷♀️
☆ — NOTES: I'M NEVER TOUCHING MY DRAFTS WHEN I JUST WOKE UP EVER AGAIN I'M SO SORRY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this was kinda bad dawg am sorry 😞
☆ — PARTS: Part 1, Part 2 (you are here)
Tall AND powerful??? Ohhhh she's gonna die you KNOW I had to mix it hahaahahha powertrip goes CRAAAAZYYYYYY I have such a thing for it I'm gonna cry
Anyway ok so I would like to first state that extremely powerful chrs that don't actually do a lot w their power is like one of my top fav tropes it's so fucking funny 😭 like dawg you have the power to change the world wdym you're just gonna sit here like it's summer vacation (there's a reason why my Akivilicarnation au exists (even though I gotta work on it one way or another))
This is rather different from the stuff I usually write bc I usually write the reader as. Kinda weak for the sake of putting us all on a powerscale between the chr and our average strength as a human being omg bare with
Okay so. I do feel like she'd be a tad bit frustrated with you, at least at first. Like you could do so much more than what you're showing and yet here you are, not using your strength for important stuff? Lazy bitch, her children are much better than your example 💀 at least, that's her initial take, really
But give her a demonstration, both in a time of need and yk ☺️☺️☺️, and she'll soften up
Anyways it's just the fact that you're both tall AND powerful??? Nevermind her doing anything, she'll find herself dazedly thinking of the ways in which you can quite possibly manhandle her with such brazen 'disrespect'......and also? In the ways you two can actually COMPETE. Or well, 'compete', esp when she finds herself actually WANTING to lose for once. Crazy, how the great Knave would actually prefer to lose compared to the usual want to win against her opponent
You sighed, "I know we talked about it two days ago but do we have to? Really?"
"I would like to test you. Unless you would rather skip such pleasantries?"
"I don't think fighting until one of us surrenders counts as 'pleasantries'. Quite the opposite, actually."
While you've always known Arlecchino to constantly have a stony expression that doesn't usually change, you see the bright crosses of her eyes dim just a fraction, "So I suppose that's a no, then?"
"Well, now," you stepped back with an amused look on your face, getting into the fighting stance you're familiar with, "I didn't say that... Especially not when the reward is something I really want."
And she gains that glow once again as she brandishes her weapon with a fraction of a smile and.. something else much more heated behind those eyes of hers, "Do not get ahead of yourself, my beloved. The results have yet to be concluded."
..She speaks as if she hadn't actually wanted to lose. Laughable, really.
(You know from the way that at the end of it all, she lies underneath you as her eyes scan you with that same heated look in her eyes—lust, a sin in which The Knave hadn't thought of ever committing.. until you came along.)
The whole thing about her being able to reverse your positions? THROW THAT TO THE FUCKING WIND IN THIS SITUATION you can easily EASILY fold her without a care in the world. The fact that she KNOWS you can too gives her a rush she hasn't ever felt without that extra layer of threatened rage
Push her up against the wall, hold her up in the air, pin her down so she can't squirm away..........if you're much more powerful than her, she actually makes a show of 'trying' to escape you. Keyword: 'trying', especially when at the end of the day she resigned herself to losing already
She tells you not to hold anything back, no matter how cautious you are. She says she can handle it, that she isn't strong without reason, that she can endure whatever you give her, no matter what. Usually she kinda ends up forgetting anything she's said though, especially when you're fucking her SOOO hard she starts seeing stars behind her eyes
If your strength applies to endurance too??? Ohhh bye she's not lasting. Like okay she definitely has stamina and endurance but against you? SHE'S QUITE LITERALLY DWARFED....BYE.........
In some way, she actually likes the fact that you don't show your power other than in private with just the two of you—it makes her feel special, to know exactly what you're capable of. Dare I even say she's a tad bit possessive over every side of you? Who can say 😜
Just think that whenever she kinda stands beside you in public w her heels on, she's very very VERY easily reminded of the fact that you tower over her in height, capability AND position.......and really, in comparison to what everyone else may think? Arlecchino wouldn't have it any other way 🫶
....oh side note, just think about how rough you can go, biting each other to the point where you draw blood. Sorry I had to get that final bit out ANYWAY
#hazy demos!#hazy explicits!#arlecchino x reader#genshin arlecchino x reader#arlecchino smut#sub arlecchino#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact smut#sub genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin imagines#genshin smut#sub genshin#genshin women x reader#genshin women imagines#genshin women smut#sub genshin women
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ii. unexpected gesture
warnings: trauma, death, mentions of blood
series masterlist main masterlist prev next
You don't even want to recall how you end up having a dinner in a fancy restaurant with your husband in the first place.
Or rather, it is actually the first time that you both eat dinner together.
Only the clinking sound of your cutlery could be heard, making the silence between you both all the more obvious. Gods above, it's as if the universe itself turned its back towards you.
The silence drags on, until both of you finally finished your meals. Alhaitham looks up from his plate, grabbing a tissue as he wipes his mouth. You do the same, anticipating if you should say anything.
"I... want you to postpone the divorce." The man before you uttered, finally filling the uncomfortable silence. His gaze focused on you, searching for your eyes. You internally shrink under his eyes, his sudden suggestion to eat dinner with you is already enough to make you feel out of place, and now he is trying to make an eye contact with you.
The statement alone left you taken aback. "...Why?" You finally replied. There is so much you want to say, but you could only dream of mustering up the courage to say it to him. After all, he's quite unpredictable. What if you said something stupid? He would probably internally mock you, thus it's better for you to keep it to yourself. It's why you never try talking to him first.
It's laughable really. Maybe, even the moon and stars above would be entertained. What a loser. It's humiliating to think that you would end up in a loveless marriage when you've always been a hopeless romantic.
What's even more embarrassing is that the exchange of conversation between both of you is comparable to a regular discussion between business partners.
However, what Alhaitham says next is what fully caught your attention. "To be honest, I've never thought of our marriage as something out of convenience. It's no wonder that you would think that of course, since our situation itself is quiet... eh." It's the first time that he talks a lot. Usually, it would be either just a short request, question or reply. Nothing more than that.
"Like I stated. It's neither you nor is it my fault that we end up like this... So if you are planning to apologise, you shouldn't." You finally look at him in the eye. His mouth forming into a thin line, his brows furrowing. It's evident that he's already coming up of a reply.
"I want you to give me some space to think," Alhaitham folded his arms, his face morphing into his usual poker face. "it is to make sure that I don't make rushed decision. Moreover, I have yet to manage your alimony."
To make sure that he doesn't make rushed decision? It's not like he's the one who wants a divorce. Your relationship was fake anyway, what decision is there to make?
As if reading your thought, Alhaitham adds, "By the way, I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings in any way. I just... nevermind. Just give me 6 months."
Now that you think about it, you also do have to prepare for some things before the divorce. You still hadn't thought of which place you're going to stay at and etc.
Though a logical part of your brain wondered why would he need about 6 months to make up his mind. It's not like he's the one who requested for a divorce anyway.
You still agreed however. He might just want to exaggerate the time. Knowing him, he probably didn't take that much time to make up his mind... Alhaitham is known for his cleverness, he's the type to make a final decision immediately after hearing about them. Though, this is a different case.
As if last night's scenario isn't enough to leave you internally gag, you find yourself waking up to breakfast that is already prepared on the dining table.
A sticky note was then found beside the plate. 'I made you breakfast. — A.' You read.
You set yourself down, placing the glass of coffee as you start munching on the food. It makes you feel somewhat guilty for eating something that he make. After all, both of you mostly eat individually. Except when there's a special occasion of course.
Finishing the food, you immediately clean them up as usual.
Unexpectedly, you finished your class earlier than you thought. Your lecturer had business to do, so the class had to end at 3PM.
Your friends invited you to go out with them, but you refused. You want to head home and rest.
Stepping your foot inside the apartment, you went straight to your room. Immediately going for a warm shower. After that, you cooked some meal, and eat it inside your room while facing your laptop, which contains drafts for your assignments.
After finishing your meal, you clean them up and put it back to it's usual place, while also tidying up the living room for a bit. You continue where you left your assignment, typing away on your laptop now in a prone position on your bed.
Without your will, you inevitably pass out from exhaustion.
"You will lose everyone Y/n. Everyone will turn their backs from you. Just like me. " A voice echoed in the unknown room.
"You... Who are you?" You questioned. The woman in front of you has her face blurred, her body hidden from the mist. She's far from you, but her voice is loud enough for you to hear.
The figure only drew closer, your eyes widen at the sight of bloods dripping from her dress. As she draws closer and closer, you instinctively step back from her, as her face finally shows what you didn't expect. "Silly little girl, can't even remember her mother..." She then laughed maniacally. Her face was distorted, as your breathing becomes out of control.
"NO! Stay away from me! I don't know you!"
"You can deny it if you want but every time you remember about what happened, you'll always think about me. I'll always haunt your mind."
You covered your ears at this, shutting your eyes. "Please, leave me alone. I don't want to see you. Go away!"
"You know Y/n," She calls your name in a sing-song voice, "I've always wished you were dead. If only you were the one to die, years ago..."
Images of the incident years ago flashes through your mind, as you hyperventilate. The woman then walk towards you, her pace now increasing. It's as if she's chasing you.
"GO AWAY FROM ME!"
"Y/n! Hey, wake up!" Your body was shaken up. You quickly opened your eyes, only to see Alhaitham next to your bed. You don't even realise that your eyes are dripping with tears, your cheeks stained.
You are still recollecting what happened, but your body instantly reacted against your consent. As it reaches to hug the man beside you.
The man flinched, before resorting to pat your back.
taglist: @odevote118 @levisbebe @hitomi-inaru @no3hg3nshin
author's note: the first few chapters are a bit boring but it gradually gets better i swear 🤫 also taglist is open if u guys want
© @qiwoomi
est. 020323
do not copy, translate and repost my work.
#genshin impact#genshin fanfic#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin fluff#genshin angst#alhaitham#alhaitham fluff#alhaitham angst#alhaitham x reader
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Seven Minutes In Heaven ~ Rutger McGroarty (x Fantilli sister)
Warnings: Making out, underage drinking
You felt a rush through your body as you downed your second drink of the night, already feeling slightly tipsy. The hockey team had just won a big game against Penn State, and were throwing a party to celebrate. Of course you were attending, being Luca and Adam Fantilli’s sister, you didn’t really have a choice. Not like you minded though, you loved to party and you loved your brothers teammates.
Well, most of them anyway.
Just as you were about to pour yourself another drink, you heard the familiar voice that you despised heavily behind you.
“You sure you can handle that much alcohol, Y/n?” You stopped what you were doing and rolled your eyes as you turned around to be met face to face with the one guy on the team you did not like.
Rutger. AKA, your brother's best friend.
“From what I’ve seen, you really can’t.” He said, shrugging his shoulders and grinning. “Stop acting like you know me and what I can handle.” You spat back as you turned back around to continue pouring your drink.
“I’m just saying, being a baby and all, maybe you should slow down.” He said, which caused you to stop what you were doing once again and whip back around. “Stop,” You began, pointing a finger at him. “Calling me that.”
You were over 2 years younger than Luca and 3 months younger than Adam, making you the baby. You hated when people brought it up, because you always felt like you were being compared to your brothers. Sure you weren’t a big time hockey star like them, but you were still your own person and deserved to be treated that way.
Rutger knew that, which is why he always picked on you for it.
You can’t even remember when or why you and Rutger started disliking each other, you just know it’s been this way since the start. You met him when you first got to UMich, and ever since the two of you have not gotten along.
You can’t ever remember a time where he was nice to you. Whether it be teasing you, making fun of you or just flat out being rude to you, you and Rutger have never had a friendly interaction with each other.
It’s not like you wanted it to be this way. He was best friends with both of your brothers and is with them 90% of the time. According to everyone else, Rutger is a nice guy who’s a lot of fun to be around. However, you are yet to see that side of him. And you’ve known him for almost a year now.
Along with all that, he is also insanely attractive. Not nice, sure, but hot as hell. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a little crush on Rutger when you first met, and sometimes you think you still do, but how could you with the way he treats you?
Rutger put his hands up in defense after you told him to stop calling you a baby. “Just looking out for my buddies' baby sister, that’s all.” He replied, smirking. Just as you were about to reboot, Luca walked up to you guys.
“Sup guys!” He said, throwing an arm around your shoulder.
“I was trying to help Y/n with her alcohol intake, but she doesn’t want my help.” Rutger said, grinning at you.
“You are such a fucking-” You began to say, but your mouth was covered with Luca’s hand. “Okay! Let’s go over here, shall we Y/n?” He said, and ushered you away from Rutger, leaving him laughing at you in your tracks.
“Can you two ever not be arguing with each other?” Luca asked you once you stopped walking. You crossed your arms and said “It’s him not me.”
Your brother laughed as he shook his head. “Pretty sure you give it back 150%, Y/n/n.” You rolled your eyes and shrugged.
“You know, if you guys would stop arguing long enough to get to know each other you’d probably really like each other. You’re both a lot more similar than you think.” Luca started. You just rolled your eyes in response. “Plus, Rut’s a really good guy, I think he would actually be really good for you. And you for him.��
That comment almost made your eyes pop out of your head. Your brothers have always told their friends you were off limits.
Do the rules not apply to Rutger McGroarty?
“How many of my friends have I ever said that about?”
Guess not.
“It’s not going to happen, Lu.” You said.
Luca rolled his eyes and said, “You both need to get over yourselves.”
Before you could respond, Mark came over to you guys. “Hey we’re all playing a game in the living room, come on!” He said, and darted towards the living room.
You and Luca made your way over to where everyone was gathering. You all sat in a circle as you took a seat between Luca and Johnny. Rutger was right across from you, and when he caught your eye he sent you his signature smirk.
You rolled your eyes in response and broke eye contact. “What are we playing?” You asked to no one in particular.
“Truth or dare.” Ethan answered. Your face scrunched up at his answer. “What are we, 10?” You asked sarcastically.
“Oh c'mon Y/n, it’ll be fun!” Johnny said from next to you, nudging your arm. “Yeah, we play it a different way.” Gavin said from his spot.
“And what way is that?” You asked.
“You’re banned if you refuse any of the truths or dares.” Mark said.
“What?!” You asked in disbelief. “You guys aren’t serious.”
They were serious. Not one of the guys had a joking expression on their face.
“We are. Some freshman a few years ago refused to do his dare and we never let him back to another party again.” Keaton said.
“That’s ridiculous.” You said.
“Our house, our rules. Now, who wants to start?” Ethan said.
Multiple rounds of the game went by with the stupidest truths and dares you have ever heard. Finally, someone picked Rutger.
“Rut, truth or dare.” Grano asked him.
“Truth.”
“How many girls have you slept with since getting to UMich?”
There was a chorus of whistles from around the circle as all the boys were curious to know his answer.
For some reason, this question sent a pang to your chest. You didn’t want to hear his answer.
But why? Why did this question bother you?
“I need a refill.” You said before Rutger could answer the question. You quickly got up and made your way to the kitchen, thankfully missing his answer.
When you returned, Luca was finishing a dare.
“Okayyyy, hmmmm.” Your brother said as he looked around the circle. His eyes landed on you and he smirked.
“Y/n, truth or dare.” He asked you.
Fuck.
Your brothers already knew everything about you, besides everything you really didn’t want them knowing. Not trusting the questions they’d ask you, you went the alternate route.
“Dare.”
Luca looked at Adam, then at Johnny, then back at you before a huge smirk took over his face.
“I dare you to play seven minutes in heaven with Rutger.”
His response nearly stopped your heart.
If this was your brother's attempt at getting you and his best friend to get along, it was a low one. And one you did not want to participate in.
“Luca, no.” You said in all seriousness.
“Oh, is someone refusing a dare?” You heard Mark say and you shot him a death glare.
“Luca, that’s not even funny. Pick something else, or at least someone else for me to do that with.”
You truthfully had no interest in playing seven minutes in heaven with any of your brother's teammates, but at this point you were willing to do it with any of them as long as it wasn’t Rutger.
“Nope. You and Rutger. Go, now.” He said as he waved his hands to usher you away.
“What if I don’t agree to this?” Rutger finally spoke up from his spot across from you.
“Then you’re both banned.” Ethan said.
“WHAT?” You both yelled in unison.
“How is that fair? It’s Y/n’s dare, not mine.” Rutger asked, getting annoyed.
“Don’t care, you’re a part of it now. Now both of you get a move on it.” Ethan responded, pointing to the bathroom down the hall.
You turned to your brother and glared at him. “I hate you.”
He just laughed in response as you and Rutger both got up and made your way to the bathroom.
“See you in seven minutes!” Someone yelled as you closed the door behind you.
You sighed heavily as you and Rutger stood a couple feet away from each other in the tiny half bath.
“Thanks a lot.” He said.
“Me?! What did I do?! This was all my brother, not me, so don’t even try to put the blame on me.” You responded as you raised your voice.
You both stood in silence for another minute, but you couldn’t take it anymore. If you were going to be stuck in here with him, you were going to get answers.
“Maybe while we’re stuck in here together you could tell me why you’ve always been such a jerk to me.” You said.
Rutger looked at you like he didn’t know what you were talking about. “What do you mean?” He asked.
You looked at him in disbelief.
He could not be serious.
“What do you mean what do I mean? Rutger, ever since the day we met you’ve been nothing but mean to me. You always tease me, you always call me a baby, you always try to start an argument, and for WHAT? What did I ever do to you?” You asked, growing frustrated.
Rutger stayed silent for a moment, getting lost in his thoughts.
You took his silence as a sign that there was no real reason, and he just did not like you. You were over this, you couldn’t care less if the sophs banned you from parties at their house, you were leaving.
Just as you turned to leave, Rutger stopped you.
“Y/n, wait.” He said as he gently grabbed your wrist to turn you back around.
You snatched your wrist out of his grip as you waited for him to say something.
“It’s stupid.” Was all he said.
“I don’t care.” Rutger sighed as he said “You’re not going to believe me.”
You crossed your arms over your chest and looked at him. “Try me.”
Rutger sighed as he looked down at the ground. “It’s because I like you, Y/n.”
Your scowl immediately fell as the words came out of his mouth.
“What?” You asked.
“I like you, Y/n.” He started, as he looked up at you. “I’ve liked you since Luca and Adam introduced us.”
What?
“But, they’re my best friends. And you’re their baby sister.” He said, then immediately closed his mouth when he said it and saw the look on your face when he did.
“Sorry.” He said. For the first time ever, Rutger apologized for calling you that.
“I didn’t want Luca and Adam to hate me, so I just started being mean to you in an attempt to get over you.”
You were very taken aback. With every word that came out of his mouth, you were more and more shocked at his confessions.
“Teasing someone is a pretty shit way to try to get over them.” You said with a hint of sarcasm in your tone.
Rutger nodded and said “Yeah I know, and I am sorry. I never wanted to be mean to you or make you think I didn’t like you, Y/n. I just didn’t know what else to do.”
“And then Luca started telling me how he wished we got along because he could see us together, but it was already too late at that point. I figured you hated me and there was no coming back from that.” Rutger confessed.
“I’ve never hated you, Rutger.” You said, causing him to look at you. “Hate is a strong word.”
Rutger smiled at you and you returned the gesture.
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a little crush on you too when we met.” You said.
Rutgers eyes widened as you admitted your crush. “Really?” He asked, grinning.
You rolled your eyes and said “Don’t get too excited, you almost ruined it by being mean to me.” “Almost?” He said, as he took a step towards you.
“Yes, almost. I’m forced to see you almost everyday, how could it have just gone away completely?” You said.
Rutger shook his head as he said, “I know mine didn’t. I never got over you, Y/n.”
You looked at him confused. “But what about the other girls?” You asked.
Rutger scrunched his eyebrows together as he asked, “What other girls?”
“The ones you slept with. Remember, Grano’s truth question?”
Rutger laughed as he shook his head. “Well, if you would’ve stuck around for the answer, you would’ve heard me say none. I haven’t been with any girls, Y/n.”
His answer shocked you. You figured he was off with a new girl every weekend and after every game.
“I didn’t think it would be fair to any of them since I was so into you.” He said.
Pardon?
“I am sorry though, about everything. I know it was a shitty way to go about things, and I apologize for that.”
You nodded as you gently smiled at him. “It’s okay. I’m sorry too, I was never the nicest to you either.” Rutger laughed at your response. “Yeah but I deserved it, you had no reason to be nice to me.”
At least he’s aware.
“So,” He began, as he took another step towards you. “Am I forgiven?” He asked, staring down at you.
You smirked up at him and said “Under one condition.” “Name it.”
“Stop calling me a baby. It really does piss me off.” You said.
Rutger moved one hand to the side of your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb.
“Deal.” And with that, he closed the gap between the two of you.
Your lips moved in sync as you wrapped your arms around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.
The kiss deepened and grew more heated as Rutger turned you guys around so your back was against the bathroom counter. He moved his hands so they were under your thighs and lightly tapped them.
“Jump, baby.” He said against your lips as he pulled back slightly.
Out of force of habit from the past almost year, you moved your head back and glared at him.
“What?” Rutger asked, confused, before he caught on.
“Oh. OH! I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean it like that I-” He stumbled over his words in an attempt to apologize.
You just laughed in response.
“I didn’t mean it like that, Y/n. I swear.” He said.
You laughed at him again and said “I know.” Before pulling him back to you and jumping like he asked so he could place you on the counter.
Your make out continued for a few more minutes before there was a loud bang on the door, causing you two to separate.
“TIME’S UP!” You heard someone yell.
You rolled your eyes at the loud and unexpected noise that caused you two to break apart.
“So…” Rutger said, smirking at you.
“So….” You said back.
“Are we good?” He asked.
You smiled widely at him. “We are good.”
You two connected your lips again before he helped you off the counter.
He turned and opened the bathroom door, signaling for you to walk out first.
“M’lady.” He said as you smiled and walked out.
Once you two returned to the group, there was yet another chorus of whistles and cheering going around.
“So, how was your seven minutes?” Luca asked.
You both looked at each other and glared, trying to hold back smiles.
“Terrible. Worst seven minutes of my life.” Rutger responded as you both went back to your spots in the circle.
You caught onto the sarcasm in his voice, you knew he was joking.
“Oh yeah? Your hair says differently Rut.” Johnny said as he motioned to Rutgers hair.
Rutgers hands immediately flew to the top of his head, fixing his messy hair.
Oops.
“That’s some nice lip gloss you got on too, Rutty. When did you get that?” Luca asked him teasingly.
Rut’s hands went from his hair to his lips as he wiped your lipgloss off of him.
Oops again!
“Gross, that’s my little sister.” Adam said.
Rutger shrugged. “This was your guy's idea.”
Let’s just say after that night, there was no more arguing between you and Rutger.
You still scowled at Rutger anytime he called you baby for the first few weeks, but he assured you it was a term of endearment, not a tease, and eventually you grew to love his everyday pet name for you.
Luca almost regretted his little plan to get the two of you together, seeing as now you two could not keep your hands off each other.
Oh well, it was his dare.
#rutger mcgroarty#rutger mcgroarty x reader#rutger mcgroarty imagine#rutger mcgroarty blurb#umich hockey#hockey imagine#hockey blurb
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Headcanon Kate gives the 141 kisses and then immediately bites them to show affection like a cat
HOW DO YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN DEEP IN BITING 141 HEADCANONS
It's a love bite!! She just gets so excited by physical affection she has to nom a little. It's fine. Don't worry about it.
Price and Ghost DO NOT make it easy for her. Ghost, obviously, covering his face a lot, but Price has a beard! She can't nip at his cheek or chin, she just gets a mouthful of beard, that's unacceptable. Sometimes she bites his nose. He's smart, though, can tell when she's bitey, knows to pull away so she can't nab him. So she resorts to biting the back of his hand. He has to shave for some reason and after the first round of novelty wears off (babyface Price?!!?!) new novelty appears because NEW BITING SURFACE!!
Kate tried to bite Ghost's hard shell mask once and hated it. He covers up a lot so she can't ever shrug it off like "oh oops i didn't mean to" she literally has to ruck up a sleeve or tug his collar down. this gives him enough time to plan a RETALIATION BITE.
Not nippy ones like she does, either. Full on chomps. His reasoning is "if I have my teeth in you then i know you are not going off somewhere doing something STUPID" Kate is offended by the implication she does stupid things. rude. This does NOTHING btw to make anyone else on base less intimidated by Ghost. rumors circulate about how he bites hard enough to draw blood and that's with someone he kind of likes! (this did happen, thankfully it was not in public because they were both very kind of into it)
feral bastard man Soap adores the love bites. to the point where if he's feeling down, he'll ask for it because it's a nice little dopamine rush. When the ADHD starts ADHDing he will either bite or ask to be bitten. it works, so nobody questions it. Soap is actually more likely to break skin because he's got sharp chompers. Kate likes to bite the top of his ear. Will use the mohawk to drag his head down if she needs to
Gaz gets nibbles. comparatively gentle bites. the guys are talking about their various Kate Bite Bruises Etc and Gaz is like??? wtf are you on about??? Sure there's a bit of a sting sometimes but she kisses it away. Price makes a comment about maybe she bites harder to match the biting the guys do to her (he is correct for the most part). And Gaz is like. you HEATHENS. why are you BITING HER BACK?
This devolves into a very long (slightly horny) discussion of biting as affection, etc. as well as some brief spirals into "why isn't she biting me harder/softer???" (there's a slight chance that Kate comes by Price's office while this is the hot topic in the guys' group chat and Price relays the entire conversation to her, no this is NOT an invitation to bite me right now Katherine!!!! [Price is the only one who can call her Katherine and he's only done it twice])
Anyway Gaz gets Nice Bites until he has a close call, which prompts a very dramatic kiss from Kate followed by a very mean bite to his neck that bruises almost instantly. Gaz is like great! i now see i was not missing out on anything. let's go back to the nice bites please. (he will get nice bites when he stops doing stupid shit, and Gaz thinks that's a bit rich coming from the queen of stupid shit herself, which earns him another, if slightly nicer, bite)
One of them has the top of his ear nicked from an arrow. Not Ghost, his ears are covered, but at least ONE of the others. I'm pretty sure it's Soap but it could be Gaz. that doesn't have anything to do with biting but is important for us all to know.
#kate bishop#hawkeye#call of duty#kate bishop and tf141#simon riley#john price#kyle garrick#johnny mactavish#this is very poly!141#i mean i DO think she would platonically bite and kiss people#but also like what even is the true difference between platonic and romantic.#NOT THE PLACE FOR THIS SPIRAL SARGE#anyway i'm having a grand old time with this idea#i am ALSO still thinking about kate in the dcu i've actually been writing a lot more lately#the COD crossovers have me in my millennial young avengers feels again#'again' as though i ever stopped#young kate and soap meeting etc etc#yes i am writing it. what of it.
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Pet! I saw that Addicted Heroin Thailand is now available on youtube, so I rushed over there to watch the first two eps with your handy Guide To The Cut Scenes to help fill in the gaps. I don't know if you were planning on doing the same for ep 2 but I'd be eternally grateful of you do because there were at least three moments in the preview for ep 2 that weren't included in the actual ep (like, WTF?!).
Anyway, I love this show already. I love the green-soled shoes. I love the dog motif that keeps showing up on Hero's clothes (that Poppy's mum also tried to give to Poppy, and which he refused). And I love Hero. His whole unhinged-ass self who is only too happy to admit to the crazy shit he's done. Honestly, it's going to be DELICIOUS when they get together because as mad as Poppy (quite rightly) gets over Hero, he's going to love that stupid mutt. 😍
Daddy! I was planning on doing a cut scenes post for the second episode, but life was chaotic this week, so I'm getting to it a few days late. But I'm glad you noticed that Blue Boy Hero and his shirts have a dog motif because I hadn't.
And that you think Green Guy Poppy will love his unhinged Golden Retriever boyfriend since Hero is already throwing all the blue his way by looking over Poppy with the blue writing (and hearts) on the whiteboard.
And covering him in a blue blanket.
But I'm showing up for Yellow Yal Tiger and Pink Person Only because I enjoyed the actors in Hit Bite Love.
Which is why I'm thrilled that they were the first cut scene!
Addicted Heroin (Th) Cut Scenes and Colors - Episode 2
Right after the library scene with Only and Tiger, the girl who kept asking Tiger about Only and what he likes and dislikes actually bought Only a HUGE package of tissue and left it on Only's desk, which Tiger noticed when he entered the room before anyone else. However, Only thinks his "Kitty" (which is his nickname for Tiger) bought the tissue for him since only Tiger was in the room.
Only tells Tiger he could've just said he likes him instead of buying him such a weird gift, but Tiger is appalled by the suggestion and tells Only he didn't buy it, but if Only wants to believe he did AND thinks the gift is strange, then Tiger is taking the gift back to use for himself (smart kid!).
Only gets playfully defensive and snatches the tissue back while telling Tiger he likes his gift and wants to keep it. (They are my everything!)
Second cut scene:
After Poppy is kidnapped meets his stepfather, we move to the scene where Hero is wrestling everyone outside of school for shits and giggles and keeps beating them all. Nobody else wants to fight him and as he continues to challenge more of the boys, Poppy finally accepts and starts to wrestle Hero, and Poppy quickly and effortlessly takes Hero down.
And since you read my first post of the cut scenes from episode one, you know Poppy had quickly and effortlessly overthrown Hero before even though it seemed like Hero had the upper hand.
Third cut scene:
This adorable scene comes before Green Guy Poppy in his green shirt learns how to get tough stains out of clothes, which is a valuable lesson if he is going to be gay (and do crime) because after he demands Hero gives him the shirt to clean and says he'll teach Hero handwriting lessons, Hero comes to the store later that night for lessons.
And the blue pen boy and green bracelet guy get much closer.
Poppy asks if Hero hates his stepbrother a lot, and Hero admits he has never even met the kid but hates being compared to him. Hero decides that since they are opening up and getting closer, they should open some beers too. AND THEY DRINK!
Poppy tells Hero his mom is alive but married some rich dude, and he understands why she left them because money does make everything better. Hero says "same" since his new stepmom seems to have married his dad for that reason and decides to give Poppy the green-soled shoes again! Hero puts the shoes on a little tipsy Poppy and I noticed the eyelets on the shoe are green and the laces are ombré green while Hero's shoes have blue on them!
So Hero tells Poppy to keep his old shoes but wear the new ones and a little tipsy Poppy leans into Hero in a move that Only performed on Tiger earlier (and we see the green and the blue in the background with a little light of love!!!!)
Then BAM! Poppy wakes up with his second tough stain that he is going to have learn how to get out of clothing.
And that's it for cut scenes (I hope!).
Next week, Hero is getting to work slapping his and Poppy's color-coded mops together, which isn't a euphemism for sex but actual work because Hero now has a job working with Poppy!
And Hero is hellbent on pushing past all of Poppy's boundaries as Poppy tries to put up more divides between them.
Also . . .
I GET MORE COLOR-CODED BOYS IN LOVE!
#addicted heroin th#addicted heroin the series#color coded boys in love#the colors mean things#uncut version#episode 2#I think I got them all#I don't understand how some of these were cut#like the drinking scene is important
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comparing Brother Bear with TBT since their Both movies about Brotherhood and also Brother Bear just Randomly popped into my head again today.
I've loved Brother Bear for years I think its a very underrated Disney movie with nice songs cute characters and a cute story.
and I randomly started thinking about it earlier and then started comparing it to TBT since their both strongly focused on Brotherhood.
and I realised that for some reason Brother Bear doesn't bother me as much as TBT does even tho it technically has many of the same faults.
it Rushes over the interesting character Drama and it Rushes a conclusion to said Drama between the Brothers at the end.
like the scene in the main film of Kenai confessing to Koda is still fairly sad but its massively undercut by having the song play over it.
the deleted version of that scene where the song doesn't play and we get to hear the full version of Kenai's confession and Koda's reaction is available on youtube and its way more heart-breaking imo.
which I guess is why they didn't go with that version since it would have maybe been a bit too much for young kids.
but the movie also employs the gimmick of having the brothers come back together in the end to fight off a life threatening enemy and all is seemingly forgiven between them straight away afterwards.
I guess one reason why BB doesn't bother me as much as TBT is that Kenai actually grows throughout the film despite wronging Koda in a massive way.
and Koda forgiving him too quickly in the ending is not as bothersome because we didn't see Kenai mistreat him the entire film up until the point he found out.
and he didn't then proceed to hurt him again in arguably just as bad a way as he did before like Bro zone did.
instead Kenai did grow in the film and he and Koda already had a healthy relationship prior to the reveal and later confession.
plus what they had throughout the film was genuine sibling banter it wasn't one sided like Bro zone's interactions were with Branch where it was basically just them treating him like a kid and not taking his Valid feelings seriously.
and when Kenai confesses to Koda he's a lot more openly remorseful and tries to go after him to make things right Bro zone just get a brief 4 second shot of them feeling bad and then the movie moves on.
not to mention the climax of BB involves Kenai making a sacrifice for Koda first off he puts his own life in danger in order to save him from his Brother Denahi. and at the very end he makes a big sacrifice ( staying as a Bear so he can stay with him even tho it means leaving behind his human life and not being able to openly communicate with his family )
which somewhat works as an act of love and redemption whereas the climax of TBT involves Bro zone being forced to work together in order to save their own lives as well as the life of the Bro who none of them wronged all that much tbh.
it doesn't really work as a first step towards them redeeming themselves and fixing their family because its kinda selfish and it didn't involve them really making any sort of personal sacrifice or even that much effort.
ya know its funny I just thought I'd make this post as a Random little thought since that's all this was I didn't actually expect to talk in depth and compare the movies stories this much lol.
I just started typing and got carried away 😂😂😂😂😂😂
anyway in short I love Brother Bear its a very adorable film and while its far from perfect in how it handles its story its flaws don't stop me from enjoying it.
since it still handled the more important parts of the story well enough.
unlike with Trolls 3 best thing I can say about it is that the movie version of "" Better Place "" is a legit great little song and frankly its too good for this film.
the story didn't earn such an emotional music piece in my opinion.
#trolls#trolls branch#trolls brozone#dreamworks trolls#branch#branch trolls#trolls band together#trolls dreamworks#brozone#trolls 3#disney movies#disney animation#Brother Bear#brother bear#dreamworks animation#dreamworks movies#trolls deeper analysis
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Hi! I love your writing think it’s phenomenal work. It’s really such a genuine and intimate depiction of Ginny. I also see you have an appreciation of Dean Thomas. I’d love to know why you think Ginny was attracted to him? What do you think their relationship was like and how did it help them for their next partners? I just think that pairing was really interesting and there’s not enough of them being friends.
❗️ Warning... big Dean & Ginny meta incoming ❗️
Firstly - thank you so so much for reading and enjoying my work (phenomenal!!! I’ll dine out on that all week - can't thank you enough).
Secondly - what great questions! This was such a fun thing to think through. Dean’s a quietly lovely character I have so much time for, despite being very underdeveloped in canon (cutting his arc to exclusively favour Neville’s? Side-eye forever). I'm definitely a paid up member of the Dean Thomas Fan Club.
Anyway….. the questions were so good I wrote this too-long meta on Ginny and Dean before going to bed because I apparently… cannot be stopped?
Why was Ginny attracted to Dean?
I think for this question it’s important to think about the timing of when Ginny and Dean became close and when they got together, and especially what Ginny was looking for during and after her relationship with King of Negging, Michael Corner. There are three weeks between the break-up with Michael and Gin getting together with Dean, so we can assume Ginny and Dean had already become close and maybe a little flirty when she was with Michael (Ginny Weasley likes to give herself a nice four-week breather between boyfriends, usually just in time to watch the early summer weather roll in. I for one respect the work rate and the consistency.)
Ginny is with Michael until late in her fourth year, until they break up after the Quidditch final in early June. Dean has his OWLs until late June (just realised Ginny dumps Michael right before his exams - this is how you get revenge on a Ravenclaw).
The events in the Department of Mysteries take place the day exams finish (cue iconic scene where Harry’s rushing up to the dormitory to grab his Cloak and save his godfather’s life and Seamus and Dean are trying to get him on the sesh, absolutely rate it, excellent from the lads). Ginny’s going out with Dean by the time she gets the train home, probably by the end of June.
Given the short turnaround time between relationships, I think it’s likely Ginny and Dean became close during the rest of the school year, where she was able to learn the following things about him (and implicitly compare him with Michael as Michael revealed himself to be, as the great prophet Ronald foresaw, ‘a bit of an idiot’):
Dean Thomas knows right from wrong (and really, really can’t stand Dolores Umbridge). In their first lesson with Umbridge, Dean is by far the person in the class who stands up to Umbridge the most after the trio (he actually comes out swinging a lot more than Ron does). He immediately subs in for Harry when Umbridge refuses to answer any more of Harry’s questions. He defends Lupin and Crouch-as-Moody when Umbridge criticises them (describing Crouch-as-Moody as a maniac but saying ‘we still learned loads’ is extremely funny - Dean's pedagogical expectations are low). Dean is an extremely enthusiastic DA member, he and Ginny often arrive at meetings or take part in dinnertime conversations about the DA together, and I think they likely became mates because they’re passionate about what the DA is trying to do. We know Gin likes a boy with a moral compass, a backbone, and a good sense of outrage in the face of injustice. (I cut this out of a much lengthier first draft of chapter one of Beasts, which had all the DA at the graduation ceremony, but this was their interaction in response to another character acting up: ‘[Ginny] feels an old rush of affection for Dean, a man who always had a good scowl in him when it mattered.’)
Dean’s a sweetheart, even if he’s a bit hopeless. Dean’s a character who is often trying to make people feel better about things and trying to give a bit of comfort – emphasis on trying, because he’s not always good at knowing exactly what to say. I think this is something Ginny would really value – she’s someone who, for all her fire, tries to comfort and support the people around her. I reckon she’s got a soft spot for a man with a heart in the right place and a chronic inability to find the right words to express it. ('“Don’t worry about it, Harry,” Dean muttered, hoisting his schoolbag onto his shoulder. “He’s just . . .” But apparently he was unable to say exactly what Seamus was, and after a slightly awkward pause followed him out of the room.' OotP, 221 - does this not sound like how Harry would try and comfort someone?) 👀
Dean is kind to the underdog. Dean is often seen hanging around with or partnering up with Neville, and in DH, we’ll also see Dean be very kind towards Luna. I think Ginny rates people who are kind to those who are socially awkward and excluded.
Relatedly... Dean loves Remus Lupin. I wrote about this a bit in this short reflection on Remus (and am writing about this at the moment so don’t want to get too spoilery if you’re reading Beasts…), but I have a feeling being Remus Lupin’s biggest fan would be a sure fire way to get a text back from Ginny Weasley.
Dean’s into sports. Like her soulmate, Ginny’s into fellow jocks (I think it's implied that Michael Corner was also on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team – three for three on Quidditch players, Ginevra, if you were on Love Island I’d say you have a type). I think she’d also be amused and endeared by Dean’s die-hard commitment to West Ham - she is Arthur Weasley’s daughter, after all, and she probably enjoys teasing him about how crap football sounds. (That bit in PS/SS where Dean’s yelling ‘send him off, ref!’ – 10/10 excellent Dean content). Also Dean does not seem threatened by Ginny’s Quidditch abilities, but instead just really wants to be on the team with her too, which is a nice change from Michael Corner, the Jack Berger of Hogwarts Quidditch. (Sorry Michael, I know you end up a gold star goodie by DH, but young Mike is a prick to our girl Gin).
Dean is a laugh. Chuckling at Ernie Macmillan in his Apparition classes, mucking about with mice in Transfiguration, getting the giggles because this Lockhart bloke has set a quiz asking students to name his ideal birthday gift: Dean is both fun and funny. That bit in GoF where Dean describes Warrington in Slytherin as a ‘big bloke who looks like a sloth’ – funny. The bit later in GoF where Dean rinses Harry for rejecting that curly-haired Hufflepuff girl who wants to go to the ball with him – also funny. Ginny Weasley likes a comedian and she also likes an audience. I think that means a big tick in the Dean Thomas column.
Dean's a creative. This is verging on headcanon territory, but I really do love the idea of Ginny finding her way back to writing in the years after Riddle and the diary. I can see her being drawn to someone who also has this gentle, expressive, artistic side to them.
Dean’s not averse to dealing in contraband Firewhiskey. If you’re a fourteen year old popular girl with a rulebreaking streak, the boy who can source you some Firewhiskey for an end of exams party from a cool kid like Harold Dingle is hot property.
Dean… er, really likes Harry. Not Gin's finest criteria for a boyfriend, but I think In GoF, the man draws Harry flying around the Horntail on his Firebolt and draws Cedric, his rival, with his head on fire. It’s not a hugely good look for Ginny, but I reckon Dean really liking Harry probably, in a strange, back-to-front kind of way, is another vote in his favour (Gin, you're messy, and I love you for it).
What was their relationship like?
I loved thinking about this question! It’s easier to write about why Ginny and Dean broke up than it is to write why they stayed together so long, and what good stuff they took from the relationship. Dean's easily bashed in Hinny fic in all sorts of different ways, and I don't think it really tallies with the really positive impression we get of him in canon. Ginny and Dean spend a lot of time together over the year - eating most of their meals together, training together, spending all of their Hogsmeade time with each other. I know it’s a teenage relationship, but this is still so much time to spend with one person. It also actually takes them quite a while to breakup, even if they’re ‘rocky’ for much longer. There's something to their relationship that must, on some level, have worked quite well. After all, it would have been a lot easier for Ginny to have dumped Dean if he was a crap boyfriend. It’s much harder to dump someone who is a good partner, but not the right partner for you.
I think that's the problem for Ginny: Dean was kind of perfect for her in lots of ways - but for the person she would have been if Riddle hadn't happened to her, and if the war hadn't happened. Their relationship was clearly based on a lot of mutual attraction and chemistry (that kiss Ron and Harry saw was intense, lads - there's a reason Harry was threatened by it, after all). I think Dean was proud as hell of Ginny, especially on the Quidditch pitch (he's so excited to tell her he's going to be on the team with her!). I think he would think she's super cool, and I like fics and headcanons about Dean that show him trying to internalise his feelings about his own dad into doing right by his girlfriend, even if that means overshooting and being overly chivalrous and over-protective with Gin. I think one of the reasons Ginny stayed in the relationship so long is because they genuinely got on, had a laugh with each other, and fancied each other, in a way that she would feel conflicted about when she still feels drawn to Harry.
Really I think it's Dean being so great that is the problem for Ginny. If she's with this really great guy and she's still feeling restless and like something's missing, she knows that means she's still not over Harry, and that means she's in trouble. I think it's why Ginny sabotages the relationship, in very understandable ways, and in the end she finds herself getting the ick over little things, and picks a fight to end it rather than come clean about being in love with someone else. (No judgement: again, messy girl representation is important).
Ultimately, I think Harry is perfect for the Ginny that actually exists, and Dean would be a good match for a hypothetical Ginny where there was no Harry, who doesn't have a family in the resistance, who doesn't have all this trauma from what happened with the diary, and who isn't shaped and forged by a childhood at war. Until DH, Dean doesn't seem to know anything about the Weasleys' involvement in the Order. We have no evidence anyone other than Harry, the Weasleys, Dumbledore and Hermione ever knew Ginny was possessed by Riddle, and I don't know that Ginny would volunteer the information to Dean. (The only reason she brings it up to Harry in OotP and again in HBP isn't because she wants emotional support for it - she only brings it up to try and help him. This is not a subject she talks openly about even with the person who knows most about what went down). This lack of knowledge about crucial parts of Ginny's life would mean huge gaps in understanding between them - not gaps that are Dean's fault, but that Ginny doesn't try to get him to bridge. Dean can't meet Ginny where she's at emotionally at the point in the series where they get together, in many ways because he's much closer to a normal teenager than she has been able to be up to that point. At the end of the day, Ginny's always going to want to be with the strange guy racing to the Department of Mysteries to rescue a loved one and fight Death Eaters on a Friday night than a nice normal guy who is planning on drinking his own weight in Firewhiskey to celebrate him finishing his Wizarding GCSEs.
How did it help them for their next partners?
I think Ginny would always speak highly of Dean, appreciate that he made her feel loved and someone a boyfriend should be proud of, and I think she would feel some guilt about what went down. I think, eventually, Dean would acknowledge that he didn’t fully understand Ginny and what she was going through, and that he couldn't have been able to meet her needs in the same way Harry could. (I do think this would take a while, though - on the way out, Dean would be understandably very bitter, even if bitterness would be quickly surpassed by the much more serious escalation in circumstances in the war for an apparent Muggleborn. Thinking about it, Dean Thomas had a terrible 1996. Man got dumped and then within three months was homeless and on the run from a murderous fascist regime trying to do him in. Like, I know this is very much not funny but… if a man I had shared a bedroom with for six years and called a friend publicly scooped my ex from me from under my nose, dumped her a few weeks later for mysterious reasons, and then I had to look at his face everywhere I looked on wanted posters, I would be a lot more mad at Harry Potter than Dean Thomas ends up being).
Ultimately, though, I think both would look back on the relationship as a sort of sweet teenage thing, with a lot of warmth and humour to it, probably some sweet confidence-boosting intimacy early on, and a bit of a lesson that you can't make someone be the right person for you. I like to think Ginny and Dean end up mates, in the end, and that she's always rooting for him to find someone great.
#and that person... is seamus#joking but not really#dean thomas#meta#beasts#this was super fun to think about thank you!#dean thomas supremacy#ginny weasley
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“Telling the truth even when it hurts” for any characters, please
Btw your writing is so so good!! Don’t mind me reblogging everything you write to my cr sideblog
21. Telling the truth even when it hurts thank you!! i will never mind rbs lol. nsfw conversation in this one, folks.
He should have known better than to talk to Beau about this. She is an Expositor, a truth-seeker, a steadfast researcher—and a bitch, when she wants to be, which is, it seems, most of the time. He should have known that going to Beau for advice would result in less advice and more blunt statements of what are, to Beau, facts, things that she believes he needs to hear.
Which is why he hardly gets half a sentence out before she's rolling her eyes with a dramatic, put-upon groan. "Fucking hell, Caleb, why are we having this conversation?"
Caleb blinks owlishly. "Because I do not know the best course of action, Beauregard, and I thought my friend might sympathize."
She hits him with that look, the one the cuts to the quick and sees pasts each and every shield he's ever cast in his life. "If you wanted sympathy, you would have gone to Jester. You want me to tell you to fuck Essek, so do it. Fuck him. And stop talking to me about it."
His face is instantly on fire. He cannot believe his skin doesn't radiate a low, reddish light. "I—that is not what I—"
"You've been dancing around this forever and, like, I'm sorry? But it's boring. You like him. You want him. He likes and wants you, if the look his gives whenever you use words like temporal or sigil are anything to go by. So just jump his bones and put the rest of us out of our simmering misery."
Sometimes Caleb wishes they left her in the Astral Sea. "Things are not so simple, Beauregard."
She'd been lounging back on the couch in her and Yasha's living room, but now she sits up, rests her elbows on her knees, and stares directly at him. "Actually, this is the simplest shit. I get that your life has been, comparatively, pretty fucking extraordinary. Most people aren't brainwashed child soldiers who killed their parents and spent a decade in a fugue state in an asylum before going on the run from an entire government. That shit is complicated.
"But this? Being so intellectually and physically attracted to someone that you want to ride their dick until your eyes roll back in your head and you see gods? That's basic, baby, that's one-oh-one. It's not special or nuanced or specific, it's just being into someone. People have been doing that for, like, ever, so just do something about it."
They're glaring at each other, but mostly Caleb's glaring at her because he doesn't have the ability to glare at himself. She's annoying a lot of the time, but she's especially annoying when she's right.
Except there's one thing she has not considered, the thing Caleb has not been able to stop thinking about since he first realized how desperately he desires Essek. "And what if he does not return the sentiment, hmm? Am I to ruin the friendship we so carefully built?"
She snorts, cocksure, aggravating, and flops back against the couch again. "Caleb, if you walked into his tower and asked, he'd be on his knees for you without a thought."
And oh, how unexpected, this rush of want, hot and curling in his belly. He ignores it. "You seem so sure."
Beau turns her head over her shoulder and shouts, "HEY YASHA!"
The woman in question, who is out in the garden pruning her tulips, shouts back, "YEAH?"
"HOW BADLY DOES ESSEK WANT TO FUCK CALEB?'
"LIKE SO BADLY. LIKE SOMETIMES IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE TO LOOK AT HIM. THERE'S A LOT GOING ON THERE."
Beau extends her hands in an I told you so motion, and Caleb would love nothing more than for the ground beneath him to open up and swallow him whole—which, now that he thinks about it, he's sure Essek has a spell for. "Well this has been a terrible conversation. Let's never do it again."
"Gladly." Beau shoves herself off of the couch. "Just be sure to name the first kid after me. Anyway, you staying for dinner?"
And he does, because family is family, after all.
#ask#biilpotts#critical role#critical role fic#cr fic#mighty nein#mighty nein fic#empire kids#empire kids fic#shadowgast#shadowgast fic#my fic
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Chapter 6: Dad Vibes
Aphmau hummed idly as she watched Aaron try to bond with Abby. The girl was wary of him and unfortunately he was equally if not more wary of her, so it was slow going. Still, he was smiling gently down at her, his bandanna absent from his face as an attempt to look less intimidating.
"Do you want to see where you'll be sleeping tonight Abby? It's getting a little late." Aaron asked the little girl as she was quietly trying to fight off sleep. It was still a little early for bed. But the girl had gone through a lot in one day.
"Yeah..." She grabbed his hand and looked up at him expectantly, Aphmau could almost see his heart melt from the way his face softened and a breathy laugh escaped his lips.
They made their way up the stairs and into the guest bedroom, which now had dim string lights hung on the ceiling, they almost looked like stars if the lights were out. Abby glanced around, looking at the shelf full of toys, wiggling her toes in the faded red plush carpet, before the bed, and the subsequent terrier plush caught her eye.
"Doggy!" She rushed over to it, her turtle plush still gripped in one hand as she gently handled the grey stuffed toy, Aaron thought he might wince, instead he found his smile reaching his eyes.
Abby glanced over at him, then at the plushie, then back at him, she had a thoughtful look on her face for a moment before she too smiled at him, genuinely this time.
"Is this yours?" She asked, cradling the small plush in her tiny hands like it was delicate thing.
"It was, when I was your age. He was my best freind." Aaron replied, sitting next to the bed beside her. Abby looked back at the plushie before sitting her turtle plushie next to him.
"Sheldon is my best freind too, Dad thinks it's silly." She seemed disheartened at that, and Aaron most certainly felt it.
"Why does your dad think Sheldon is silly?" Aaron asked, and in response Abby sat cross-legged beside him, holding the two plushies in her hands as if comparing them.
"He said I needed to make real freinds, with the kids in school. And that I can't just talk to Sheldon and hit the other kids when they touch him." She looked somewhat ashamed, holding out Aaron's old plush to him and pouting, squishing Sheldon tightly.
"I dont think Sheldon is silly. Sometimes other people are too much to deal with, especially if they touch something you care about without your permission." He replied, turning his old plush in his hand for a moment, it had seemed so much bigger when he was small.
"When I was your age, I didnt like other people either, they were mean, or they would touch what belonged to me without asking." Abby nodded, and looked up at him, scooting a little bit closer to the man.
"How did you make freinds? I can't seem to make any..."
Aaron's heart broke for the girl, he knew how hard it could be to feel that alone, or to be seen as mean and standoffish to other people.
"It took me a long time, Aphmau was my very first friend. But when we met I didn't get along with her either." He reminisced, fighting back a little bit of cringe as he remembered just how much of an ass he used to be.
"You didn't get along with Auntie Aphmau? But she's so nice!" Abby looked shocked, and her high pitched voice somehow seemed to get even higher, Aaron just laughed and nodded.
"Yes, she is, but I didn't know her, and I made it hard for her to be nice to me. But you know what happened?" The little girl shook her head, seemingly now absorbed in the story.
"We became freinds anyway. So even if you struggle to find people who like you, know that it'll happen, you just have to find the right people." And Aphmau was certainly the right person, she'd been there for him even when he'd given her every reason to hate his guts, even before they found out they'd been friends online.
"And if it takes me as long as it took you?" Abby asked as if she was scared, looking down at the floor.
"Then you still have Sheldon, and your dad, Auntie Katelyn and Auntie Aphmau, to keep you company until you find the right people." He handed the little terrier plush back to her, and she took it with both of her hands before hugging it gently.
Abby looked out at the adjar door for a moment, still holding both plushies, then she looked up at Aaron before crawling up onto his lap, making her look and feel much younger than eight.
Aaron stiffened, not expecting her to crawl into his lap like that, but he slowly relaxed, laughing softly and bringing his knees up to also sit cross-legged.
"What's the Doggy's name?" She asked softly, yawning and curling up tighter into Aaron's lap, almost by instinct, he was petting down the little girls hair.
"Barcus, his name is Barcus." He replied, feeling her squeeze both Sheldon and Barcus closer to her, her breaths drew deeper, her grip on both of them slowly loosened.
"I like Barcus..." was the last thing she said before she was off in dreamland, dozing off curled up on his lap.
Aaron felt... everything bubble up into his chest, pride, protectivness, deep affection for the child curled up on him, he felt himself start to tear up at how overwhelmed with it he was. And how sad he felt that Abby was going through what he did.
Aphmau came in a moment later, quietly pushing open the door with tears in her eyes and one of her hands over her mouth.
Ah, she must have been listening.
"Hey..." Aaron whispered at he got closer, still holding Abby, slightly unwilling to let her go.
"Aaron that was the cutest thing I've ever seen." She whispered back, holding back the widest smile ever in the history of smiles.
"I... I know. I don't know what came over me. She just... seemed so upset." Abby shuffled in her sleep, and Aaron instinctually went back to petting her hair, which somehow made Aphmau's eyes have more sparkles in them.
"Dad vibes. You got dad vibes." She replied, pointing at him almost sarcastically.
"Aph what the heck does that even mean? He grumbled confusedly, slowly standing up while holding the eight year old gently, trying not to disturb her.
"I don't know but it's true!" She giggled back, taking the time to tuck the girl in for an early bedtime. Tucking in Sheldon and Barcus next to her, and moving a strand of hair from her face for good measure.
"Then you have mom vibes." He smirked when he saw the blush creep up into her cheeks, and laughed quietly when she playfully batted at him.
"Come on, lets let her sleep, I've gotta get some stuff from my house if I'm gonna be staying here a few days."
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Simon: hero vs boy
I started writing this without a point really, but I think I found it along the way… maybe. Anyway.
Simon goes along with traditional hero narratives by slaying monsters, especially when it’s linked to saving a damsel. His powers would make him comparable to superheroes – he’s practically perceived as such by his peers – yet he goes against it with the ease with which he kills. Saving the day (saving people) by itself meets the definition of a hero, and he’s genuinely good. But when you get down to it, why is he a hero? Because he was told to be one. Many get training and mentors, but there’s usually a calling involved, a struggle where heroism is an active choice they make. Simon doesn’t choose: he’s programmed to follow orders and rules, and he finds purpose by succeeding in his tasks. Part of it not being a choice is that Simon doesn’t believe there’s anything to choose. He doesn’t think there’s anything outside of the “golden destiny” … other than death. He makes sense of the world by reframing it into simplistic good vs evil, in the way he has been told to. In some ways, he gains the most when he thinks he has lost it all: it sends him on a path to truly find himself and choose, free of outside influence.
As readers, we don’t care about the nameless henchmen, the questionable nobodies with non-existent development, but the existence of Baz alone suggests both Penelope and Simon, in their role of heroes, have killed intelligent beings with “a soul” – murder more comparable to killing humans – without thinking twice. The story avoids ever questioning them in such a way (closest it gets is Baz acknowledging Simon can’t let himself think about everything/everyone he has ever killed) likely because they’re virtually brainwashed kids who don’t know any better, so the bigger questions are different (and the books tend to keep it light with that kind of thing, it's not a focus). It also avoids it by generally operating with action movie rules: action hero kills humans, sure, but we don’t care if Evil Henchman No. 5 drops dead – the only thing defining them are despicable actions. Simon kills Evil Monster No. 2 because it’s sexually harassing his boyfriend, and you were probably thinking “as he should” before you even finished reading this sentence.
In his chosen one days, Simon operates in a way that’s familiar to superheroes: saves the girlfriend from danger, but constantly “chooses duty” over “having a life” (with the girlfriend being “life”). There’s a lot at play behind the scenes when keeping a love interest around the hero, but here is them resisting the realization that they’re miserable and gay and directionless when they’re not doing what they’re told. It’s not Simon being a hero what kills that relationship – it was dead on arrival. It would have never worked regardless – Simon cares about what he thinks the relationship would give him rather than the relationship itself. It’s not his “duty as hero” what “pushes him to let it die.” (Also: the tropes and archetypes themselves are a big part of why that relationship existed in the first place)
However, as the structure Simon has been living by falls apart (starting from “his enemy” not showing up) things change. When Simon can’t listen to anyone and rushes to Watford toward the end of CO, that’s not a hero rushing to save the day. The hero believes he has just been told he’s the true villain of the story (he’s not) but at its core, this is just a boy who believes he did something horribly wrong, and that it’s up to him to fix it.
In his role of hero, Simon is quick to think the worst of Baz, because it has been decided that he’s his enemy (he's quick to reframe everything he sees about Baz, because he does see it, that indicates Baz is never truly bad). As he frees himself from roles and finds himself, and the wall that used to separate him from Baz falls apart, he sees him fully. He can’t think badly of him then. (He's ready to free all that information he already had on Baz, he has "observed his soul"). The chosen one would’ve gone for the less charitable interpretation of the events (Baz “purposely pushing him down the stairs”) but Simon sees him exactly for what he is (he’s just a boy, it was an accident) or goes for the kindest interpretation (supporting Penny in her refusal to judge Baz, seeing him as another kid being used by adults – just like Simon and her – with the Pippa incident.)
And speaking of it: Pippa’s “tell Simon I say thank you” stands out to me (thank yourself girl!) because similarly to Penny paying attention to her with her ring ready to strike, that’s a boy who would not hesitate to tackle her ass if she moved funny around Baz. As happy as having the role used to make Simon, he’s no longer defining himself as a hero. His priorities are not to be heroic (as shown by how he walks away from whatever the fuck happened with the Vegas vampires iirc) but simply in protecting his loved ones, and the people his loved ones care about. His image as hero likely remains in Pippa’s head – likely part of why she liked him, and perhaps reinforced in part by her getting her voice back (in more than one way) when he appears in her life again. But if it came down to it, the only thing that would have stopped Simon ("the hero”) from fighting/restraining her (”the victim/wronged party”) would’ve been Penny knocking her out first. He would not be on her side here. This is an “ugly” thing to consider in heroic narratives, but it’s a human thing. Simon is no superhero, nor is he trying to be: he’s just a boy.
Baz’s goodness and kind heart means he’s not going to put Simon in a position where he has to choose between what’s “good” and him regardless, it’s part of what Simon recognize's (Baz's goodness) as he falls in love with him (he has observed his soul, he refuses to let Baz think of himself as evil or monstrous once he’s no longer blindly operating as chosen one) (and Penny is right anyway). But this instance shows how Baz’s self-destruction means the people who love him, his chosen family (Penny and Simon) will do anything to protect him, especially when Baz is his own enemy. They will be fierce, and they will be selfish. They won’t leave room to consider anyone else – they will be human. In an ideal world, Simon will be left alone to live his life like a regular person (as regular as he can be, anyway) but I think the Simon he’s discovering is the type where what matters is not saving the day, but keeping his loved ones protected. More specifically, Simon has chosen Baz as his priority, and he has decided that keeping him happy and safe comes first. Heros might not prioritize the “love interest” (unless a specific story requires it, but that’s another conversation) they might sacrifice their personal lives for their duty, but for Simon, his relationship with Baz is what matters most. There’s no “duty” that comes before it. Sure, he’s no longer in a position where he has to choose, but if he had to, if he was pushed to think about what he wanted instead of what he was supposed to do, I think the choice would remain the same. The world can burn down, and maybe he can’t do a thing, but he’ll be alright as long as his loved ones are by his side (he says as much with "I have lost it all but I still have Baz, so I still feel like I got the better end of the deal")
#snowbaz#simon snow#baz pitch#baz grimm pitch#awtwb#carry on#simon snow trilogy#baz x simon#simon x baz#simon snow series
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So about this Canto V... (Spoilers)
I rather say it straight, my review is quite negative, so if you loved Canto V, you should ignore this. I don't like to put bad vibes in the main tag, but I wanted to give my opinion on this Canto.
This Canto was... Disappointing. I love Ishmael, I love Moby Dick, I truly do, and I had high expectations. Especially because, I know Project Moon is good at making us feel things, so I was confident with this Canto. I was confident it would be as good as the last one. But... There are things.
I'm not going to talk much about the CG or character designs. I will be honest, the new characters designs were really mid, Queequeg and Ahab were the two to stand out, and yet, even so, I did not saw them very great. Yet god knows I love evil old women and butch she/her himbo. I feel sad that Nai_Ga had to, well, literally carry the entire visuals of the Canto, did every background, every character, every CG. I hope he's paid tripple for his work. But also it felt like rushed, naturally, when you're the only artist working on a whole game's chapter, there's high chances that it will look low quality. But at the same time, since VellMori left the crew, I can't say much. I really, really hope they can find new artists. I love your art style, Nai_Ga, but dear god we need to discuss how you draw muscled arms.
ANYWAY, now into the real subject; what really disappointed me in this chapter. The feels.
I AM going to compare it a lot to Canto IV, naturally. It was the previous Canto, so it's hard to not compare them, especially with how good Canto IV was. It's like eating a very dull and mid dessert after an absolute banger of a feast.
The characters were not attaching. At all.
Let's talk about Ahab first, the main antagonist. She's... Well, a very fucked up old lady. She's senile and obsessed by her revenge. Which, well, makes sense! But it gives no sympathy whatsoever to the character. Comparing to Dongrang, the antagonist of the previous Canto, she was not a grey antagonist. She was all black. All evil. Which is BAD when Project Moon has been serving us really morally grey characters before. She's obssessed, she's ready to throw her crewmates to death for her own desires, she just wants to kill that Damned Whale. And this was so, so bad when at the end, Ishmael spares Ahab. WHY would you spare this absolutely madlad. Sure, Ishmael doesn't want to be like her, but Ahab had absolutely no reason to be left alive. She will just be more evil, AND join the evil people gang to be even MORE evil. That's fucked up. Yes, Kromer was also some unhinged feral woman, but she fought for something and was not just evil, but smart. She was scary BECAUSE she was smart. Ahab, at first she was shown as charismatic, that she can manipulate... But she quickly, way too quickly fell into "just some senile old woman." Starbuck and Queequeg followed her because she was the reason they were still alive, she was their lighthouse. But at the end of the dungeon, even after she shouted with absolutely no shame that she's ready to kill her crew, after Queequeg discovered with horrors that she sacrified everyone to make her way to the heart, she... Still joins Ahab? Without, even a second thought? Queequeg, you KNEW Ahab had not a single care for you, that she was ready to use your body for the steps that would lead her to her ambition. WHY, you followed her, and DIED for her till the end.
And Queequeg is my next point. She could, she SHOULD have been a character I enjoy a lot, but instead I felt neutral about her. A character we can associate to her in the previous Canto is Dongbaek. And now, we get a hint; all the Pequod crew was introducted way too late. They got introduced at the start of the Dungeon, and all died at the end of the Dungeon. Compared to Kromer, to Dongrang and Dongbaek who were introduced way before. We saw the memories of Sinclair and Yi Sang with them, we saw the interactions, the good moments, and that's how we got attached to them. Unfortunately, for the Pequod's crew, from the start of Canto V to the start of the Dungeon, we got absolutely nothing. Just their names mentioned. We should have got flashbacks. We barely saw Ishmael interact with Pip or Starbuck, and even her interactions with Queequeg, they were sure, adorable and heartwarming, but I could not feel the attachment between them that much as I was able to feel it between Yi Sang and Dongbaek. Dongbaek gave us an amazing boss fight, despite being not the final boss (Queequeg had a boss fight too, but! Too bad! It was just some random looking fight.), she gave us amazing memories of her and Yi Sang, and she died a heartbreaking death.
Queequeg, not only you had to guess that she was dead because at no moment it was showed, but all she got is around five lines of dialogues, Ishmael's crying sprite, "oh no!, anyway. that whale's not going to die alone."
Then we got Pip, Starbuck, and Stubb. Who? They appeared, they had a bit of dialogues, then they disappeared. Reduced to atoms.
This is really sad, because Project Moon always had a talent to make us attached to characters, then once they were growing into our hearts, kill them. I mostly think about Xiao, about Yan, we saw those characters evolve throught the story of Library of Ruina, we followed them, we saw their struggles, we saw their feelings, we fought them, the music playing behind broke our hearts, and we killed them. It was painful, it was hard, and even after they're gone, we will still think about them. We will read their books and discover even more. The promise Xiao and Lowell made that she broke after his death, how Yan had been chosen as a messenger just after he tried to take his own life away.
Queequeg, Ahab, and the rest of the Pequod's Crew are forgettable. And this is AWFUL for a Project Moon game.
And Ishmael's evolution... The conclusion felt, quite random. A few time I felt bad for her during the Canto, and it was good! But at the end, it felt rushed. She dropped a "my friends are Limbus Company now" randomly. She did not even interacted with anyone during the Dungeon. All the Sinners were just looking from far away like "go white girl go". She could have teamed up with them, she could have created bounds with them. All we got is Heathcliff saving her to make the Ishheath fans scream because Ishmael is a dark skinned himbo magnet.
I hope at least, Ishmael will play a really good part in Heathcliff's evolution in his Canto, the next one, but that's disappointing that during Ishmael's, it wasn't much. She could have got closer to Outis during the final fight, since both were already working as a team on the boat before, she could have got closer to Rodion, who helped her, or maybe Don! It's sad she was just, here, alone, against Ahab. It broke the whole purpose of "finding her new self", and she seemed that she came to this conclusion randomly.
So yup. Big disappointment. I probably set the bar of my expectations too high, maybe, but I'm not the only one sharing this, as I discuted it with some people before. I can complain about other points, like how Moby Dick just appeared for one scene, that Queequeg's death was absolutely useless to the story, or the lack of new abnormalities. But I'm being annoying.
Mili's song was fire tho, as always
#limbus company#project moon#ranting#long post#anyway love yall#im not really much into PM stuff anymore#and I was expecting to come back to it with this new chapter#but well lol#lmao even#guess ill sleep until Don's chapter#make it extra silly please#also the review isnt that big or developed im sorry#i dont feel like analysing everything again#i didnt roll middle don im PISSED#the battle against Ricardo was more memorable than Queequeg's battle send tweet#as I said to a friend#“it felt more like a moby dick fanfic with yuri than a project moon story”
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Am I the only one who's kinda getting bored of the "haha Percy is blonde like Will, the you're not my type scene is gonna be so funny" or whatever?
Specifically because Walker looks nothing like how I imagine Will?
Like yeah, he's blonde. But not the blonde I see for Will? It's a darker tone. Plus He does not have lanky cat stretched out in sun vibes sorry y'all
That, and Nico never specified he meant looks when he said Percy wasn't his type.
Cause if we compare Will and Percy they're different in a lot of ways.
Will's a healer, Percy's a fighter.
Will is described as laid back and appearing a lot more harmless then he really is. Why Percy is constantly being described as frightening and even godlike. He's a whole storm why Will's a cat stretched out in the sun.
Both are stubborn,but Will is a lot better holding in his more extreme emotions. It takes a lot more for him to be loud when going back and forth with someone. He can sound annoyed but he hardly ever sounds angry.
That and Will can calm down others like Clarisse, why Percy ends up matching them in attitude at some point.
Like I said, Percy's a fighter which often leads to impatience as usually in a fight its so quickly placed. You have to strike first before your enemy gets you. His adhd is a lot more hyperactive.
Will on the other hand has to balance patience and speed. Rushing can be dangerous, but you also can't be too slow or else chances of your patient dieing grows. It applies to how he interacts with others too.
And I honestly think that might be why Nico clicked more to Will. Will just has more patience to get through to him. He gets upset but he keeps his cool. Literally,iirc, they were in LITERAL HELL before they had their first true out right fight.
Idk why it urks me so much now. It was funny at first but it feels it's been beaten to the ground.
I think a lot it is also I feel Will is way too often chopped down to Nico's "hot therapist boyfriend". That y'all literally think of Percy was blonde that's all was needed to be Nico's type again. Like that's all that makes Will his type.
Heck, think about the fact Percy hardly ever defenseless. If he doesn't have his sword he has his powers.
Nico's thoughts on Will why he was literally going on about him in boo is that despite his harmless figure. Despite being a healer and not a fighter. Will rushes in to battle, even volunteering to scout on a enemy right after DELEVERING A BABY AT 14.
I think Nico found Will a lot more welcoming because Percy is just too much like him in some ways.
Sure, they can outsmart opponents, they're not dumb or completely dependent on their weapons and abilities. But without them they're a bit more unsure of their next moves. We see that Nico,despite being on the verge of dieing, still instinctively relies on his abilities. Though we don't see a similar case with Percy, his abilities is what makes him great enough to go toe to toe with literally gods. Nico's connect to death related abilities radiating from him was enough to scare back monsters.
Both need someone who isn't as use to being able to depend on weapons or godly powers strong enough to topple armies. They need someone to keep them grounded.
It's why Will and Annabeth click so well with their respective boyfriends. Annabeth constantly coming up with plans, she has only really her wits and a small blade to get her the upper hand. AND SHE DOES SO. I'm sure if Percy was in a situation where he couldn't use any of his abilities and either without his sword or couldn't depend on it as well, she would easily think of a plan and keep him from over doing it.
Will,like Annabeth, doesn't have the same powerful aura that his boyfriend does that keeps others literally backing away.
But he still managed to walk past Gemini without being stopped. I refuse to believe that he can't handle himself in battle like TSATS tried to say.
Anyway, really excited to see baby Will in the show in a few years fhdh
#mine#pain rambles#pjo will#will solace#pjo percy#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#nico pjo#pjo annabeth#pjo show#percy jackson show#i worry y'all don't know what a type is#or my aspec self doesn't know but i feel im not missing this one#big 3 boys and not picking up someone likes them#will and annabeth pining for years#i want them hanging out and gossiping about stuff#both took on so much responsibility at a young age and have self destructive boyfriends#will literally saved her life give us that friendship rick please
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Hey Resin zero pressure or rush but when you have the time I’d love to hear your thoughts on the alchemy???
okay yes ive been thinking about this for a few days and it actually makes me want to cry (in a good way!) that you'd be interested enough to literally follow up. admittedly i don't know how much sense this would make to someone who isn't me (as in, how much of this is individualized) but i'll share my thoughts on a few specific lines nonetheless.
so the song as a whole seems pretty straightforward which is why, in contrast with some of the songs that seem more intellectually challenging, people may have a hard time feeling like there's much to connect to there. maybe if you yourself are in a very victorious space you can, but that's not everyone always! so here's how i think of it (huge rant under the cut)
first off, i LOVE the immediate use of "these chemicals hit me like white wine". people talk a lot about the contrast of so high school with various other parts of the album, but it's not as common for people to compare sections of the alchemy from what i've seen, and this line contrasts SO sharply with the thread of substance use (or abuse) in the rest of the album. now i am not an alcohol aficionado. but i do know in terms of how people think of substances, white wine is probably like. the tamest one you could possibly reference. not to mention the only two times when substances aren't referenced as dangerous, illicit, self-harming or sad in some way is in The Alchemy and So High School. to my understanding wine is also associated with relaxation, which is a really nice transitional opening line from the rest of the album's chaos and devastation. it's also i think why, despite the upbeat tone, it's also a very calming backing track.
which is basically what the song as a whole connects to in terms of the album's overall storyline! more than just a comedown from the intensity and a basking in happiness after a storm, the song to me mostly represents a return to the self. multiple times i've experienced the sensation of feeling detached from my sense of self, like i'm not me anymore and am not sure how to return to that person, much less feel in touch with my life as a whole. so for me, just the assertion of "what if i told you i'm back?" is... huge. like yes! i'm back! i'm me again! but there's a question in it also. if i told you i'm back, how would you react? can you look past the crazy shit i was pulling or going through before i returned? have you all moved on without me since i was 'gone'? there's a sort of commitment in the lyrics that follow. 'i circled you on a map. i'm coming back so strong'. even though there's a 'what if' attached, she's coming back anyway, one way or the other. this is more tangential but it's something i was thinking about while writing this.
the chorus reiterates this commitment. it's a complete 180 shift in lifestyle and choice-making. we're getting rid of the clowns that don't have a place on our team. we're not keeping anyone around that's harmful. we are focusing on getting the crown we want and that's going to be something to be proud of, rather than ashamed of (and it's clear that desire HAS been shamed in her in many ways, as if she shouldn't desire success or enjoy a sense of 'victory' lest she be a diva/full of herself/make a partner feel small).
i also personally just really love the line 'that child's play back in school is forgiven under my rule'. it's harder to explain this one but there's something about the idea of taking back charge of one's own life, possibly even realizing the insane amount of power you have, and using that to say we're good. we're not fighting like this anymore. (actually that concept is kind of giving veronica sawyer at the end of the heathers musical lmao). we're forgiving and moving on and i'm coming back to you whether you like it or not! and yes i take this to mostly be directed at the general public and her trying to live in the world again and better appreciate her fan relationships and her new romantic one. but i can't say i don't personally relate it to my own close friendships and how ready they always are to accept me in the wake of whatever i was feeling so strongly before. in that way, it's sort of like an anti-bolter! the bolter says that when there are leaks in the floorboards, you run. the alchemy says if the whole boat explodes and you have to ride a piece of fucking driftwood back to shore, you still come back and you let people love you again. and that pays off! you get life and career victories, you get close relationships! you can get people who commit to you that you can commit back to!
but if i'm honest, the main thing i love this song for is its title lyric. it says so much and raises so many questions with so little. she's spent her whole career toeing the line between fate and free will in her story - the things that are predestined according to some outside force vs the things she meticulously arranges and manipulates. where she falls on the spectrum is always grandiose in some way, but it's almost confusing (unless, yknow. you're the same way and get it sort of instinctively) that she can go to the extreme on these beliefs in both directions at difference times. i think that's well-condensed in this song, because she spends MOST of the album caught up in this idea that she's been swept along by some grander force. here though, she switches from fate over to alchemy, which is the very active process of making gold out of something lesser. and yeah, on its own that's an impressive switch. but it's made more intriguing by the phrasing of "who are we to fight the alchemy?" is she taking matters into her own hands via alchemy (as opposed to prophecy)? if so, why is it something they have to not fight? who is doing the alchemy? or is the fun and freedom of this metaphorical alchemy too much to resist, so it's like getting swept up in your own agency?
it raises a lot of questions and to be honest i haven't fully settled on the meaning of that line to me. what i DO know is as a certified fate/free will obsessor i gravitate towards it like catnip.
so yeah, that's the gist of my thoughts. not sure if you'll find anything that's helpful/enjoyable to you in this but! if the alchemy has zero fans i am not of this earth.
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Hirano to Kagiura light novel translation 4-3
Chapter 4: Fall.
Part 3
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The cultural festival is 10 days away.
The deadline for ordering materials and ingredients has passed, and they have finally reached the peak of making sign boards and interior decorations.
At this time of year alone, many students come to school on the weekends. They should hope to finish preparing by today or tomorrow after school, but they can’t take time away from club activities.
Cultural clubs also have opportunities to present their club activities, and athletic clubs have long practices throughout the year. Making the most of one’s time in the midst of all this is in line with the school’s culture of valuing independence—or so one might think, but this tight schedule is the reason why each and every one of the executive committee members’ grades are allegedly dropping.
Midterm exams themself are next month, but they’re going to cover a lot of material. The contrast with the first semester, which had two rounds of exams in a short cycle, has even Hirano letting out a sigh.
At any rate, high school is much more challenging as a whole compared to middle school. Their teachers tell them to go visit their dream schools’ open campus days and school fairs, and in the same breath warn them that their comprehension level here will reflect in their scores on the national practice exam.
Autumn tends to be a hectic time, for second years and first years alike.
“Hirano-san, apparently there’s gonna be another typhoon in our area the day after tomorrow.”
His kouhai had come home looking restless; lately his mood has been going from sunny to rainy and back again in perfect tandem with the weather report.
Even Kagiura, who has been in a rush of busyness come second semester, has taken on a certain air of dignity in Hirano’s eyes, but right now it’s like he’s a child again. It’s as if every day is just before a field trip.
“That figures, at this time of year.”
“I wonder if next weekend will be okay…” His sigh is punctuated with a dry cough, and he fishes a lozenge out of his pocket. Maybe his throat is bothering him.
“Who knows? Well, there’s a backup day in case the festival day gets rained out.”
“Was last year okay?”
A clacking sound comes from Kagiura’s mouth, as if the lozenge knocked against his teeth.
“Hmm, how was it…I don’t remember, so prob’ly nothing happened.”
“The teacher did say it’ll only be canceled in case of heavy rain, so it seems like we’ll use the space below the gym or something, but I feel like we all might not fit…”
“Oh, right. So that’s what the courtyard booths are gonna do, huh? Sorry, I dunno.”
“I gotcha. Thanks anyway!”
“Speaking of which, have you guys worked out the schedule for your shifts yet? If I’m gonna go, I might as well go when you’re gonna be there.”
“We have, but…if we’re gonna coordinate, then I want to go around the festival with you.”
“Me?”
“I know this is last-minute, so if you already have someone else to go with, I’m cool with it.”
Yeah, that’s definitely the face of someone who’d be cool with it.
His kouhai’s expression has immediately gotten pouty, and Hirano isn’t sure if he’s going to give up quickly or dig his heels in.
“Maybe in the morning, then. All the stalls that have food are gonna be pretty crowded around noon, so I wanna get something to tide me over before then. Scout out where you wanna go ahead of time. I’ll keep an eye out, too.”
“Sure!”
Hirano opens a question packet so he doesn’t disturb Kagiura, who’d sat at his desk after declaring then I’m gonna do homework until dinnertime! The pauses between the sounds of the mechanical pencil scratching haltingly over the paper are punctuated with the occasional cough.
Like raindrops dripping on a rainy day, the slow moment stretches on, until he’s almost in a trance.
When Hirano, who’s gotten a bit worried, strains to listen, it seems like Kagiura’s drinking a lot more water than normal.
That’s understandable, he thinks.
The summer heat is still going strong; this kind of weather makes you want to jump in a pool during the daytime, while the days that turn into chilly nights are growing more frequent.
Kagiura may be physically fit, but this can’t be an easy time for him, what with him bustling around for the festival executive committee and working up a sweat at morning and evening practices.
At the moment, it might just be a sore throat, but he’s the type that doesn’t know his own limits, so he needs to take care of himself before it turns into a full-on cold.
He’s probably stupidly resilient, though.
*****
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As always, huge thank you to reading list members @jeizet, @jujupanic, @massyworld, @umbreonwolfy, @acidsuzanne-blog, @neoday, @lary-the-lizard, @tsmginc 💖 you guys rock also sorry for tagging you in a post I immediately deleted lmao
#also i recently discovered that tunglr has been hiding notes from me and that i've apparently been missing some reading list members#so if you've left a tip and haven't been getting tagged in updates please send me a message to lmk!#hirano to kagiura#hirano and kagiura#hirano to kagiura ln#hirano to kagiura translation#kagihira#sasaki to miyano#harusono shou#kagiura akira#hirano taiga
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