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emblemxeno · 3 days ago

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Localization Differences: Niles! Happy Belated Birthday, my beloved.

I wanted to get this done by his actual birthday on the 22nd, but things kept coming up, so here it is now.

Niles is one of my favorites in Fates' cast. He has a very handsome design, he's incredibly useful in gameplay due to his stats, weapon type and capture ability, and he has extremely good supports that give glimpses into his life, pull uncomfortable truths out of others, and offers a sight into the hard life that many Nohrians are forced to live.

One of the most notable things about him, though, is that to a lot of people, he's one of the two first explicitly queer characters introduced in Fire Emblem. I personally find this to be inaccurate given that lots of homoerotic relationships and queer coded characters have existed in the series, arguably stretching back as far as Thracia 776. Other popular examples are Raven/Lucius, Lyn/Florina, Heather, Kyza, Ike/Soren, etc.

Though after Awakening's massive success, the "almighty" S rank takes priority in many readings, so Niles and Rhajat having that available with a Male Corrin and Female Corrin respectively, was massive progress.

Now, do I think one of the explicitly queer characters in FE being a sadist who antagonizes people counts as good representation? No. But 1) that's not the point of this post and 2) going by that tier list I did, I see lots of other characters in Fates as queer than just Niles and Rhajat.

Anyway, I digress. The point of this (extremely long) post is to list and give my opinion on the changes to his lines (and potentially his character/personality) between a translated Japanese script and the localized English script done by Treehouse.

Here is a link to my post of translated sources!

As always, I'm only gonna list things that I find significantly different. Get cozy, this is a massive analysis! Thank you for reading!

To start off, there's two things to set the stage. The first is that Niles is one of Fates' characters that got a completely new name in localization. His Japanese name is Zero, so if I use that name at all in this post, that's why. I might flip-flop between other characters' names too, like from Corrin to Kamui, for example.

The second thing is that, overall, Niles' Japanese lines tend to be coated in innuendo and double entendres. Many times, these only really make sense if you speak Japanese, which I don't, hence why I tried to defer to translations before running things through a machine. For example, I've learned from some translators that when JP!Niles says that he'll "send his enemies to heaven/make them ascend to heaven", it's a statement in Japanese that also works as a euphemism for making someone orgasm. I'm not gonna spend too much time pointing out every instance of JP!Niles saying raunchy stuff, but will if it's particularly funny, striking or outlandish.

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Classic Mode Retreat Quote

Japanese: Sometimes pain feels good, but I'm about to reach my limit here... I don't want to upset Lord Leon, so I'm going to retreat now...

English: This doesn't feel good anymore... I must retreat while I still can. I'll live to suffer another day...

-If you know Niles, you know his connection to Leo is extremely important to his character. Not just because he's Leo's retainer, but because Niles meeting Leo changed his life forever. So, while removing that one line doesn't sound too outrageous at first, it gets kind of silly when you think about it.

Most of the first gen men in Fates retreat instead of die in Classic mode due to avoid consistency issues if you've unlocked their child's paralogue. However, though they retreat, they still aren't deployable anymore in Classic mode, with the explanation being that they took such grave injuries that they can't fight anymore even though they survive.

Niles/Zero, in his Japanese quote, is pulling himself back from the brink of death because he doesn't want to upset Leo, even if he can't fight anymore. This is a twist on how initially, he begged Leo to kill him after being abandoned by his criminal gang, before Leo hired him as a retainer based on fascination/curiosity with how Niles was acting. All retainers in Fates are close to their masters, but some are closer than others, such as Niles.

Critical/Skill Activation

Japanese: I won't let you get away!/Let's go.../Take it all in!*/This is gonna hurt!

English: You can't hide from me!/Here's a taste.../Ohhh, yes!/Time to suffer!

-Both sets are delightfully fucked up and lewd, but I wanted to draw special attention to the one I marked with an asterisk.

Again, I don't speak Japanese, so I may be way of the mark, but the quote "Take it all in!" in Japanese is 受けてみろよ！or transliterated as "Ukete miro yo!"

Running that through machine translator reads it as "Give it a try!", but I've also watched a Japanese Fates crit quote video where it was translated as "Out of my face..."

But I think I cracked the code: it's a top/bottom joke. It's basically a "Take this!" quote in context of battle, but "Ukete miro yo!", phonetically, is also used in the Seme (top) and Uke (bottom) tropes in BL. So I think he's telling his enemy to 'take his dick', if you wanna be coarse about it.

What solidified this for me, is Nina's Japanese crit/skill quotes. In the Japanese version of Fates, the children share crit/skill quotes (or put some spin on them) with their direct parents. Nina shares "Let's go.../Take it all in!/This is gonna hurt!" but not "I won't let you get away!" because that's what Niles shares with Leo as his retainer (yeah they doubled up on crit quotes a lot in this one lol)

So Nina's fourth crit quote is unique to her, and she says 攻めるわよ！, transliterated as Semeru wa yo! (I'll attack you!) Again, it's a Seme (Semeru wa yo!) and Uke (Ukete miro yo!) euphemism joke. Cuz she's the Fujo. ...I spent a lot of time on this section lmaooo.

The other battle lines for Niles are pretty faithful or otherwise appropriate localizations.

Level Up

0-1 stats: Well... sometimes bad things happen. (JP) How unfortunate. (Eng)

2-3 stats: It's still not enough for me... (JP) I deserve better. (Eng)

4-5 stats: I feel good... (JP) My power is growing. (Eng)

6 or more stats: I can't go easy on you anymore. (JP) My gain will be another's pain. (Eng)

0-1 stats with most stats maxed: It was you who made me this way. (JP) Alas, I am at the height of my powers. (Eng)

-Overall, kind of a mix-and-match between versions, with the JP version being more suggestive and the English version being more powerhungry/sadistic. Neither is out of character.

I do lament the loss of sincerity from his maxed stats quote from Japanese to English (I could be misreading this though, I just think Niles is talking to the player)

Class Change

Japanese: What do you want me to do by dressing me like this...?

English: How quaint.

-Japanese is suggestive, English is weirdly boring? Quaint is not a word that's easily applicable to all situations when it comes to class changes, so meeeeh.

Mess Hall

-Not much to say here, but in Japanese when he eats a bad meal, he asks if there's an aphrodisiac in it, which is pretty funny.

My Castle

-Besides some suggestive flirting being removed or toned down, a couple lines were changed at the gathering spots. In the English version, at a rice paddy he says "Think rice is boring? Think again. I eat it at every meal." while in Japanese he says "Cooked rice is so beaitiful... It's like it's seducing me with its shiny white body..."

In English, at the dairy farm he says "Here, take this. It's good for your bones." while in Japanese he says "Look, milk. When I miled the cow, she mooed with joy..."

Birthday

Giving him a present: To think that my birth would be celebrated... I'm grateful. (JP) The world changed the day I was born. Thank you for acknowledging that. (English)

Saying happy birthday to Corrin: It's your birthday... You should be thankful for all the days since you were born. (JP) Birthdays always make me think of death. Oh, by the way... happy birthday! (English)

-The English ones are funny, but Niles is already funny just through his euphemism schtick. The genuine sincerity being removed makes me sad.

Conquest Chapter 8

-Niles introduction in this chapter is pretty much the same, it's actually mostly Odin who has more line differences. Though this is where the "I'll send them to heaven/make them cum" line pops up for Niles, so I thought I'd mention it.

-Like the rest of the script in Conquest, it is pretty faithful, if a little more bland. But it can't be helped sometimes, given how English and Japanese work so differently as languages. Now Birthright on the other hand...

Birthright Chapter 18 Standard Boss Quote

Japanese: What a nice face you have. I find that look of desperation irresistable. With Lord Leo's permission... I'll do something good for you...

English: Say that's a nice face you've got there. Would be a shame if someone were to slash it. Let's have some fun, shall we?

-Love when Treehouse inserts memes into things that date the game immediately, loooooove it /s "Would be a shame if something happened to it" was an old meme even by 2016, jesus.

Vs. Corrin/Kamui (Japanese)

Zero: So... You're Kamui... The traitorous brother that Lord Leon hates enough to kill...

Kamui: He wants to kill me? Leon...?

Zero: Haha, what a splendid face you're making. The pain in another's face is sublime. Twist it up more for me, I want to see you cry.

Kamui: Huh...

Zero: ...Come on now, you're here to fight me, aren't you? I want to pierce you soon, too... with this thick arrow of mine.

Kamui: !!!

Zero: Hmmm? Are you scared? ...It's okay, I'll be gentle. The pain will be gone before you know it... Once I send you to heaven...

Vs. Corrin English

Niles: So, you're the little thorn in my master's side, are you? Very well. If he wants you dead, who am I to argue?

Corrin: I still can't believe it. We lived as brothers...

Niles: Oh, yes. The suffering on your face is simply delicious. Now, let's see what happens when you have a few more holes...

Corrin: You're sick!

Niles: Oh, please. This is war. This is my job. I'm good at what I do. I'll try to make this painless so you can die in peace. Deal?

-This one is confusing more than anything. Niles sort of has the same lines/message here, but Corrin in Localized Birthright is generally so fucking insufferable that it bleeds into here as well. He talks as if Niles isn't even there, and then calls him sick, which, yes it's true Niles is fucked up, but Corrin is SUPPOSED TO BE EXCEEDINGLY SWEET AND FORGIVING. This extends to his enemies as well, he's very polite with the retainers of the opposing side. Niles isn't any worse than Zola, yet Corrin has worse words for him??? It's weird.

-The other story moments Niles has aren't signifcantly changed to where I feel the need to mention them, even Birthright. Again, it's actually Odin and Leo who are more altered, but that's neither here nor there.

Ghostly Gold

Japanese: You're so naughty. Even like this, you still want more? This place *is* pretty fascinating, but... These are also sacred ruins not to be disturbed. Were a thief like the former me to find out about this place, it'd be quite troublesome. To honor my orders and silence you... I'll make you come by my own hands.

English: Last night was a cinch for me. I always sleep with one eye open. You never know whose grabby little hands might end up in your pockets.

-Some lines in Ghostly Gold, regardless of language, either discuss the gold/treasure, the enemies, or how the army stayed up all night to catch the thieves. Niles' got changed from one to another.

The Japanese one is pretty standard when considering how Niles has moments of sincerity in the Japanese script as it is, but again, losing it in the English version for something completely different? It's not only disappointing, it's confusing. Did some of the people on the job when localizing just not have the original script? Or did they decide just to change it because they felt like it? It's truly dumbfounding to me, how this particular scenario happens in Fates so much.

Boo Camp

Japanese: Please be gentle with me...? I'm not used to things like this... What do you all expect, putting yourselves in danger in a dark place like this. At least if I were a monster like you, I'd take everyone who comes here to the cruel edge of ecstasy. (I'd make everyone who comes here cum cruelly? idk)

English: Be gentle, boys... or whatever you are. I don't know what we expected, making ourselves so vulnerable in the dark. But you'll find out like all the others that I give as good as I get.

-Omg, Vers King Niles in the English version... That's all I have to say about this, it's faithful, and a really great example of how to keep suggestive euphemism while not being a literal translation.

-The other DLC maps with character dialogue don't have too big of changes, or at least ones that give insight into Niles to mention.

Niles' Father Support with M!Kana

-A rank: Pretty much the same until the very end, where in the JP version, after promising to have a night in with Kana and Corrin, Niles says “Haha… I never thought the day would come when I would be sleeping peacefully with my whole family. I have always wanted to destroy other people's happiness, but now that I have it for myself, I want to protect it at all costs. Perhaps I'm the most selfish one…” Calling himself selfish is in reference to earlier in A rank, where Niles says parents can act selfish since they sometimes want their children to stay reliant on them so as to not feel lonely, even if they understand that they must fly the nest someday. Because this is a variant-parent conversation, the meaning is the same if Kana has a different father, though instances of unique characterization come through at times. In Niles’ case, it’s his referencing how he’s usually sadistic in dealing with others, especially those who grew up privileged. However, now that he has a family and is surrounded by love, he understands the feeling of wanting to protect happiness instead of ruining it.

In the English version, the line is instead “Heh. Never thought I'd be spending a night in with a family of my very own. So this must be happiness, huh? Maybe it's something worth protecting after all. Looks like Kana's not the only one who's changing…” The general gist *is* there, but the different wording can make it seem like Niles doesn’t know what happiness is, which would be kind of odd for his character; to be a sadist who delights taking happiness away from others, you have to know what it means. Niles knows what it means, and is resentful because he never got it before. I’m also very nitpicky, though, so I could be overcomplicating things.

Niles’ Father Support with Shigure

C Rank: JP version, Niles says that Shigure’s talents for art can captivate people regardless of gender, another example of a unique line variant depending on the father (for example Hinata relates Shigure’s interest in art to his interest in swords, Saizo tells Shigure that he shouldn’t focus on art during a war despite appreciating is talent, etc.)

For Niles it’s interesting here, since it’s in reference to how Niles is also attracted to multiple genders.

In the English version, Niles instead says “I think your work might turn a few heads.” The same message, but it lost a bit of spice.

There’s nothing else really important to mention, but in the JP version during the A rank, when Shigure’s running late and out of breath to the art exhibit, Niles asks if he’s out of breath because he got laid, which is really fucking funny.

Niles with Subaki

-In the JP script, there's more of an amicable attempt at building friendship from Niles. During B rank, he says "it'd be great if two warped people like us could get along." referring to how Subaki's perfectionist mindset is obsessive and destructive. The English version has him say "The mighty Mr. Perfect reveals a crack in the facade! Strangely, that just makes me hate you less." which is more impersonal.

During A rank, while Subaki is venting about how tired it is keeping up appearances, Niles offers different things between languages. In the Japanese version, he offers a massage (he's good at massages, also revealed in his father support with M!Kana) to take Subaki's mind off things, and Subaki accepts and is genuinely grateful towards Niles.

In the English version... he asks Subaki to 'give him some of his burden' by taking his worries and placing them in his hands. Not in a suggestive way, he's being for real in how Subaki should do this weird mime act of putting his worries in Niles' hands. And replacing the line of Subaki thanking Niles, he instead asks Niles what he plans to do with his worries, to which Niles says "Don't worry about that. I'll put them to good use. Heh heh..."

This was just confounding? Like, okay, I get it, Niles is perverted, so by association offering a massage is lewd itself. But if you're gonna change it, write something with the same energy, not this mime act that ends on a very awkward and clunky note. The JP version reads as if they're finally friends or amiable, the English version is still distant sounding.

Niles/Zero with Mozu/Mozume

-For context, Mozu has been visiting her run down village looking for a special jewel, and Niles has been following her. They discuss her losing her family. During B rank, in the Japanese version, these lines are said:

Mozume: Have you ever lost someone and felt sad? Don't you know what it's like to lose something?

Zero: Oh, I don't know. I just wanted to see your face twisted in pain.

Mozume: What... what did you say!?

Zero: I love seeing the pain on other people's faces. It makes me want to torment them more and make them cry... The reason I became interested in you is because I knew about your village's past.

Mozume: You're a terrible person...

Zero: But... it's been very boring. You're already suffering and griveing enough without me having to do anything.... So I've lost interest in doing anything to you. Don't worry.

Mozume: What a selfish person...

In the English version, this is said instead:

Mozu: Haven't you ever been upset when someone passed? Don't you know that knot in your gut when you lose someone?

Niles: ...That's neither here nor there. I prefer not to dwell on those things. Better to live for the pleasures of the now. I could give you a demonstration, if it would take your mind off things.

Mozu: Th-this is hardly the time!

Niles: If you want to wallow in pain and misery in the ruins of your home, suit yourself. But my offer still stands if you'd rather have some fun instead.

Mozu: You... you're horrible...

Niles: And you're boring, which is worse. It wouldn't take much for me to make you feel better. Believe me, I know lots of ways. But I can see you'd rather be miserable, so carry on without me.

Mozu: Wh-what a self-centered jerk...

-So, the English version has Niles offer to hook up with Mozu in the ruins of her home. Furthermore, Niles in the English version keeps pressing the issue in "making her feel better" and fucks off when she rightfully rejects his advances. But in the JP version, there's something else here.

Niles' code is poking at people who haven't suffered *or* people who pry into others feelings for no good reason. Saying outlandish stuff is a defense mechanism for him, he does that to actively push people away. This is discussed in his Japanese support with Azura, which I'll get to later.

Niles took an interest in Mozu's situation because he knows something fucked up happened to her (Niles is actually quite compassionate to others who have suffered greatly once he finds out about it), but when Mozu asked him about if he ever felt loss, she *unknowingly set off his defense mechanisms* and he responsed like an asshole. A rank concludes with Niles having recovered the jewel that Mozu was looking for, which is what he was intending to do ever since Mozu first told him about it during C rank. Mozu isn't at fault whatsoever, it's just Niles couldn't help responding cruelly.

BUT, this only really works in the JP version, because instead of offering to hook up with Mozu to make her feel better, he instead says that "I don't know [if I ever felt the pain of loss], but I do like seeing other people's faces in pain" which flows better as a conversation. Couple that with how Niles says he won't bother her because she's suffering enough, it displays that Mozu isn't the type of person he would target, it just came out because of Niles' trauma response. This doesn't work in the English version because Niles implies that Mozu is actively making herself sad, which is not only incorrect, it dulls Mozu's situation and screws up Niles' secretly compassionate side. Just... :///

Niles/Zero with Arthur/Harold

So there's stuff concerning the entire chain, but I'll focus on B rank and A rank for now.

In the Japanese B rank, there's this exchange:

Zero: If you don't trust me, then maybe I'll go bust into that mansion for real.

Harold: In that case, I'd have to deliver judgment onto you. I've received a request to stop these robbers.

Zero: Hmph. Whatever, just try not to make it too easy for them.

Harold: ...That's suspicious.

Zero: What is?

Harold: People like you who try to unnerve others often have something to hide. They keep their distance from others so nobody can discover their secrets.

Zero: You think that nonsense passes for actual theory?

Harold: I did come up with that one on the spot, so...

Zero: Right, I thought so.

Harold: I don't care what sort of life you lead, but there's something you're hiding, speak now.

In the English B rank, it's changed to this:

Niles: You've given me an idea. Perhaps, I will join up with this band of merry thieves...

Arthur: Oh, come on! You can't be serious!

Niles: Maybe I am! What are you going to do about it?

Arthur: This is suspicious...

Niles: Wait. You're actually ACTUALLY serious.

Arthur: Well, joking about a crime is a well-known defense technique. Because, if you joke about it, surely you wouldn't actually DO it, right? Oh ho! Thought you could outthink Arthur, did you, evildoer?

Niles: Your logic is breathtakingly stupid.

Arthur: Is it? Darn. I did just kind of make that up.

Niles: Yep. It was obvious.

Arthur: Well, you can make fun of me all you want. But if you're hiding something, you better tell me now.

-The English version kind of has Arthur go "Dumb Cop" mode by doing a pretty vapid investigative trick, but in the Japanese version, he doesn't exclusively reference the crime. His theory is that Zero talks outlandishly to others in order to keep distance from them... which is EXACTLY correct, that's what he does and why he does it. Zero rebuffs him and tells him it's stupid because of that very same idea, that he doesn't want Harold prying into his business. Harold only connects this to the crime at the moment because he believes that "well people who talk like that to others must be hiding something, therefore he must be hiding something regarding this band of thieves he used to work with." The end point is wrong, but the reasoning is correct, even if Harold admits he made it up on the spot. (But that's also supposed to tie into how he's the grounded/emotionally in-touch Axe Fighter for Fates, he was written intentionally to be very good at reading people)

This was kind of scrubbed from the English version, with how Niles eggs him on by dancing around the subject of the thieves and how he might work with them, and Arthur/Harold only centering his reasoning around *criminal activity* instead of the thought process/psychology of Niles/Zero himself. This dumbs Arthur down while making Niles more childish.

Now for rank A. For context, Arthur subdued the thieves but saw Niles sneak into the jailhouse and assumed again that he was working with them. However, he then saw how Niles was lecturing the group and trying to get them to reform, and Niles explains by going into his past. Afterwards, in the Japanese version, there's this exchange:

Harold: I never imagined you had such a past... Thank you for telling me. I see you had nothing to hide today.

Zero: What's that supposed to mean?

Harold: You didn't use your usual, unpleasant manner of speech while you were talking. That's proof that you weren't hiding anything.

Zero: ...The hell are you talking about? Is that another one of your stupid, spur-of-the-moment theories?

Harold: And if it is? Just because it's spur-of-the-moment doesn't mean it's wrong. I felt moved knowing that even you can speak candidly. Alright, now let's go tell everyone what we just discussed. If we do that, they'll all understand that even you can speak properly in the right situation.

Zero: No way. Now get outta here unless you want me to plunge a thick arrow-shaft into you.

Harold: ...Whoa there. I see you're still hiding something after all. But you're cute, so I'll let it slide.

Zero: Huh? Cute?

Harold: What you're trying to hide is your own embarrassment. Feeling embarrassed from hearing my praise, you switched back to your unpleasant way of speaking. But it's no use hiding from me now, I know everything.

Zero: Why you...

Harold: Let's get along from now on. If there's anything you need to talk about, don't hesitate to ask me. As someone who understands you now, I'll listen to my heart's content.

Zero: Tch...

The English version replaces that with this:

Arthur: Thank you for sharing that, Niles. I should have relied on Lord Leo's judgment and trusted you from the start. Now then! I'm off to tell everyone about what a great guy you are!

Niles: Um, that's reall now necessary.

Arthur: Of course it is! It's not fair that you have a bad reputation. People need to know the truth about you! Justice must prevail! I will shout it from the rooftops. "Niles is A-OK in my book"! Ha ha! This is going to be great!

Niles: Can we go back to being enemies?

--Not only is the exchange a lot shorter in English, it's less intimate/emotionally charged. It dials up the humor by writing Arthur to be a bit of a dingbat and Niles being dragged along against his wishes.

Arthur/Harold in the Japanese script, is written to be very good at interpersonal communication and sympathy, hence why he fights for justice and moral causes (saving Azura from being punished, helping any and all citizens instead of just being completely dedicated to Elise like Effie is, taking on dangerous jobs despite his bad luck, etc.). He's an incredibly splendid guy who has a knack for reading people.

And the Japanese A rank proves that he was right in thinking Zero was keeping a part of himself hidden, because Harold noticed that he wasn't talking outlandishly anymore when revealing his past, therefore, he was being genuine and speaking from the heart. Further proving that, is that when Harold genuinely praises him, Zero shrinks into himself and goes on defense again, trying to push him away by threatening to "fuck him with an arrow." Harold clocks this IMMEDIATELY as him trying to hide his embarrassment over being praised, before calling him cute and letting him know that if Zero has anything to vent about, that he'll always be willing to listen, to which the latter again gets embarrassed by.

This massive layer of intimacy and vulnerability between them-especially from Arthur-being removed is devastating! Getting to see Niles be vulnerable and sincere is a very rare treat, and the fact that Arthur is able to pull that side out of him (when the only other people really able to do that are Leo and his spouse) showcases how close Arthur and Niles can be, even if the latter doesn't admit it. The JP version of this conversation is one of the major reasons why Arthur has potential to be read as queer himself, not just because he calls Niles cute, but also because he's able to do something for Niles that's reserved for his closer relationships.

Having this all be replaced/cut out makes me sad, especially since it dumbs down Arthur and dulls Niles' personality. Hell, this also kind of extends to the C rank, where in the Japanese version it's implied that they knew/heard of each other before their current jobs since they were both from the slums, but had never spoken until now due to contrasting personalities and ideals. The English version scrubs that implication away, only having Arthur say "Your reputation precedes you" and Niles say "I don't like smug goody-goodies", as if they only became aware of each other when they got employed and immediately got bad vibes from the other. No! Niles was a known outlaw and Arthur was a known town hero! Of course they heard of each other, and just didn't know how to speak with one another in the palace until the current day!

Ughhh, it's SUCH a good support, yet the English version's changes and alterations just do it no justice whatsoever.

Niles with Azura

-In B rank, Niles explains why he thinks him and Azura are similar, delving into his past and personality in the process. In the JP version he says:

"There are two types of people I like to direct my colorful words to. The first are people who don't seem to know anything about hardship. [...] I was abandoned by my parents when I was a child, and was living in the slums soon after. Maybe that's why, when I see people who've never experienced hardship, I want to see their faces twitch. [...] I followed a hopeless path until Lord Leo took me in. [...] Moving on, perhaps due to my upbringing, I also don't like people who invade other people's hearts with bad intentions. I use my words to put people at a distance from me. [...] However, you aren't anything like either group. You had a turbulent upbringing and you try to keep your distance from others. So I thought to myself that you and I were alike."

In the English version, he says:

"You and I have both experienced real suffering unlike most of the idiots we know. [...] As a child, I was abandoned by my parents and had to fend for myself in the slums. Before Lord Leo accepted me as his retainer, I was literally living in the gutter... [...] It's left me with a low tolerance for people who lack compassion. I cannot stand shallow people! I try to avoid them at all costs. [...] I can tell that you are different from the others, milady. In fact, I get the impression that your childhood was no picnic either. You keep your distance by being aloof, while I actively drive people away. The more people I offend, the fewer I have to put up with. See? We're quite the same."

--Again, the general gist is there in the English version, but it's missing good details while muddying up others. The JP version reads like Zero pushing people away as a defense mechanism, and his envy towards others living privileged lives warping into resentment and antagonism. The English version weirdly makes things more vague, having Niles say he hates "shallow people who lack compassion" which can apply to anyone! A layer to Niles' character is the resentment towards the privileged, hence why his backstory involves breaking into the royal castle and he's not afraid of being scathing towards Corrin, Camilla (royalty), Felicia (royal maid), and Setsuna (noblewoman). It's why his support with Azura is a bit of an oddball, that was intentional. Niles can deduce that Azura is carrying heavy stuff with her like he is, since you have to be a little fucked up to end up distant and detached like Azura is. Her being royalty doesn't matter, because the vibe he gets from her overrules that. But for that overrule to make sense, you have to keep Niles' antagonism towards the privileged, and Treehouse gets fairly iffy with that.

Also in the JP version Niles says he and Azura are like hedgehogs, and the English version changed it to porcupines. As a huge Sonic fan, I'm obligated to be upset by this.

Niles with Elise

--Okay, this one is kind of difficult to talk about, because given Elise's age (at the very least 15, I believe, but possibly older), Niles can come off as a creep.

In Japanese C rank, Elise says she's still too young/too immature to go to the strategy meetings, thinking she'd just be a nuisance to everybody. Niles disagrees and says she "has a great body" which yeah, isn't great sounding. I think the intent was she "has a mature body" which also isn't great sounding, but the point was that Elise is, going by age, is mature enough. Further on, he asks if it'd be better if she stopped thinking of herself as too young, and join in the meetings for the benefit of Nohr.

In the English version, the comments on Elise's body are scrubbed out, but it also ups the childish factor on Elise a LOT for some reason. Instead of seeing herself as a child and lamenting her not understanding the discussions at the war council, she complains that everyone else treats her like a kid instead, hence why she doesn't go to the meetings. That holds very different implications no matter the language, since recognizing your own immaturity is ironically a very mature thing to do, and Elise is characterized as having extremely keen sensibilities. Complaining that others keep treating you like a kid, on the other hand, is extremely immature (hence the constant trope usage by characters like Ricken, Hayato, Lysithea, etc.)

In the Japanese B rank, after being told she didn't need to go to the meeting because it still might be too hard to understand, Elise is very upset. She says:

"You know, Zero... I went to the meeting. And then they told me that I didn't need to go again. It was still too difficult for me to understand [...] Yes. even though everyone was at the meeting... in the end I was the only one left out... [...] No, it's okay. It wasn't unnecessary advice. The problem is me. I act like too much of a child... how do I become an adult..."

Once again, a lot of the emphasis is put on how Elise sees herself as childish, not necessarily others. Zero gives her advice again, saying that her heart might be the problem. He says:

"You say that you want to become an adult, but in your heart you just want to be a child, don't you? The heart shows what you truly are. Heading to meetings with a spoiled heart, of course you'd be seen as unnecessary. Unless you do something about your heart, you won't be needed no matter how old you get."

He then says it's wonderful to see her cry, which again, yes it's fucked up but Zero is fucked up.

In the English version, it removes the line about him liking to see her cry, but also changes the exchange again. Elise now says:

"I w-went to the war meeting like you said, but they told me I didn't need to be there! They said i-i-it was too complicated for me! J-j-jerks! [...] Yeah! Everyone else was there, and I'm th-the only one they said should leave! It's so dumb! Dumb dumb dumb! They're all just a bunch of dumbheads! Why won't they take me seriously?! I even showed up and everything! I'm and adult, right? They should treat me like ooooonnee! *sob* [...] No, you were right. I need to study more. I'm no better than a child. My siblings are so mature... Why can't I be like them?"

Again, I don't speak Japanese, so maybe Elise is crashing out just as hard in the JP script and I just don't know it, but holy fuck, they really ramped up her outburtst here! It's not too far from Peri level, which is unfitting for Elise. While childish in some aspects, she's keen and introspective in others, always desiring to improve. The English version did this part of her personality no favors.

And keep in mind, it was also Treehouse that was responsible for Leo's infamous line where he says "Elise, when do you intend to behave like the adult that you technically are?" That line and its implications were not the same in the JP version, where he instead complains that Elise still acts like such a brat. So, what's the deal here, Treehouse? Is Elise an adult or not?

Anyway, Niles' reply to Elise is kind of the same, but instead of saying "heart" he says "attitude" which gets the same meaning across, and because Elise references her siblings in the English version, he does as well.

-Now, for A rank, there's not as much changed here, but in the Japanese version, Zero is clearly disappointed that his advice inadvertently cost him a chance to see Elise cry/suffer again, given that Elise used the advice on changing her heart and it worked. The English version... only half scrubbed this away, for some reason? They changed a line to have Niles say "I'm proud of you, Elise. That's wonderful. Though... perhaps also something of a shame." It's awkward because Niles isn't written to be that disappointed anymore, you can't have both!

-S rank is a bit of a trip. So, in both versions, Elise says that she wants to marry someone like Niles in the future, because she wants a husband like him that'll tell her things directly and not shy away from harsh truths. But then the versions diverge.

In the Japanese version, it's Niles who brings out a ring and proposes, saying something along the lines of "I had a boyish/immature mindset, where I teased you so much and wanted to see you cry because I was in love with you" and "From now on, you'll face harsh realities. But you don't have to hold back tears. Please cry as much as you want around me. I'll help stop them for you. [...] I'll do my best to be even more wonderful for you, and help you grow into a fine adult."

In the English version, however, it's Elise who brings out a ring and proposes. In response, Niles says "Well I supposed I must accept. [...] I never expected it. But I have grown to love you. You have an innocence about you that I have rarely seen in my life. I lost hope, once, because I bore witness to the worst evils the world has to offer. But you have rekindled that hope in my heart. I could not live without you. [...] And I vow I will do everything in my power to help you in all your endeavors. Though I supposed we'll start with making you a responsible, regal princess, eh?"

-Again, I don't know what the intent is here by Treehouse. You make Elise more childish, outbursts and all, but then have her be the one to propose? And then have Niles comment on her innocence? What? Is she a child or not? Is it appropriate for her to marry or not? Now I could be misreading things, since the "innocence" bit could be translated from Niles saying he had an "innocent schoolboy love" for Elise, or it could've been Treehouse's mistake. Still, that doesn't change the fact that Treehouse had Elise be the one to propose, which is contradictory within this support chain, said support chain being contradictory to what was established earlier in the game. Make up your minds!

Niles with Leo

-A rank sets the scene a bit differently between versions. In the English version, Niles is contemplating the future. This leads him to say he’s confident about his future rather than worried, because he found a purpose in serving as Leo’s retainer. JP version, on the other hand, has Niles thinking about how he is in the present. This leads him to consider his past and come to terms with how lucky he believes himself to be at the moment, and wishing to convey his gratitude to Leo for his part in his life. The same case in B rank happens here as well, where the JP version has Niles express gratitude over finally having a place to stay (which I think is very intimate and vulnerable, because I read it as a "place of belonging"), while the English version has him say his life now has a purpose. That could carry the same weight, but on an interpersonal level, idk, it doesn't feel as deep.

Niles with Camilla

This support is pretty juicy, but key things from Japanese to English get lost. When Zero asks why Camilla relentlessly showers Kamui with love, this exchange happens in the Japanese version:

Camilla: My love for Kamui? I don't quite understand it either. I do think dearly of him, but I don't have a reason for it. Howver, Kamui did have a bad childhood... perhaps that's why I treat him kindly.

Zero: Would it be fair to say that Lady Camilla's love is... selfless (unconditional)?

Camilla: I wonder.

Zero: I see... Heh. Heheheheheheheh...

Camilla: ...What is it?

Zero: I do not agree with that.

Camilla: then, what do you really think?

Zero: Am I allowed to say it?

Camilla: Of course.

Zero: The reason is simple. Because you're a pitiful human being.

Camilla: ! What do you mean by pitiful?

Zero: I'll save it for next time, I'll tell you a story that'll blow your mind.

In the English version, Camilla instead says this first:

"What do you mean? I love Corrin! He's such a sweetie! Plus, he had a terrible childhood. I think he deserves a little kindness now!"

Because of this change to Camilla not really fully knowing the reason why she dotes on Corrin, Niles subsequently doesn't ask her if her love is selfless/unconditional. Instead this exchange happens:

Niles: As I suspected! Your so-called love is nothing more than pity. You're probably one of those people who brings home lost puppy dogs too.

Camilla: Of course I would! Who would leave a cute, little puppy out in the cold?

Niles: Heh heh...

Camilla: *gasp* You would, wouldn't you?! Niles, you're terrible!

Niles: There's a reason you fixate on helping poor pathetic creatures!

Camilla: Is that so? And what's that?

Niles: You live a pathetic existence. You're trying to make yourself feel better!

--In Japanese, the clear cause of her own obsessive devotion to Corrin is unknown even to her, and Corrin's bad childhood is just the best reason she can put forward. In English, she says that's the definitive reason, with no hesitation or deliberation. So not only is there this weird gag inserted in the English version where Niles would leave puppies to suffer, Camilla's own problems are dulled.

Now for B rank, the context here is that, before explaining why he called her pitiful, Niles asks Camilla a hypothetical question on why humans love animals. This is how it plays out in Japanese:

Zero: They (people) want to be loved. But that reality doesn't exist for them. That's why they turn to animals to fill the hole in their heartst. That's exactly what your relationship with Lord Kamui is like. You pitied your own existence and thought that you never received enough love. And so you sougt to devote your love to someone more pitiful than yourself... in other words, Lord Kamui. For your own, disgusting form of comfort.

Camilla: ...If that's the case, so what? What's the point of you saying this.

In English, this exchange is written like this instead:

Niles: It's because people want to be loved. They want companionship-a person to come home to, and if they can't get it... They'll settle for a furry creature who'll greet them and slobber on their shoes. This is the same relationship you have with that lost, little puppy-Lord Corrin. You're miserable, so you shower him with affection, and that puppy slobbers back!

Camilla: Are you calling Corrin a dog? That's disgusting!

--The difference in Camilla's response is important. In Japanese, she doesn't deny that this is the kind of relationship she's cultivated with Corrin. In English, she pivots to offense at Corrin being called a dog. Niles' words about her kind of love is disgusting are also dulled a bit, and the indirect antagonism towards Corrin is also ramped up.

The lack of denial on Camilla's part in JP is important to understand how fucked up she is as well. It connects back to C rank where she wonders if her love is actually selfless/unconditional, and the truth is, it's not. She goes of the deep end in Birthright becasue of her warped love towards Corrin, blending love and cruelty together, because that's how she was raised as well. She's mature enough to reflect on it a bit, but nowhere near close to getting it under control. Removing this tidbit removes the juicy implications that Camilla's character brings.

Niles/Zero then goes on to explain his background to Camilla, how he likes to give hell to people who he believes have never known hardship. This leads us into A rank. In Japanese, Camilla says this:

"You said I never knew hardship and must have been happy because I'm royalty. I summoned you here to tell you that you're wrong. [...] Did you know? Marx (Xander) is the only one among Nohrian royalty was mothered by the queen. Leon, Elise and I are children of concubines. All of us had different mothers. [...] Concubines are in fragile positions. In order to raise their status, even just a bit, they would quarrel and insult each other during their free time. And that's not all. Their spats affected their children as well. All sorts of conflicts arised using the children as an excuse. [...] Your claim that I'm pitiful is not entirely wrong. I exist only to bind my mother to Father. Mother may have loved me, but perhaps that itself was just love towards Father.

In English, however, she says this:

"I know what you thought! She's royalty! She must be happy! Her life is perfect! You're wrong! I wasn't born in the slums, but my childhood wasn't all roses either. [...] O. Didn't you know? Xander is the only one of my siblings born to the queen. The rest of us-Leo, Elise, and I-we're all children of King Garon's mistresses. Different mistresses, I might add. He loved to pit our mothers against each other. [...] Our mothers were the lowest of the low, trying to claw their way to a better status. Naturally, they used us as bait in all of their conflicts. [...] You said I was pathetic, and you were right! My mother loved me, but only as a pawn. Do I dote on Corrin? Yes, I do! I remember what it feels like to be alone!

---There are several things to note here.

1) The English version says Garon loved to pit the concubines against each other, while the Japanese version says the concubines did it on their volition. The English change doesn't make sense, of course, because the whole reason why Garon went off the deep end was because of the stress borne as result of the concubines feuding. He wasn't cruel when they were alive, he became disillusioned and went mad after the fact, including after Azura's mother came and went.

2) Camilla in the Japanese version presents a more detached scenario, including how she felt towards her mother. The experience no doubt fucked her up, but she truly is reflective on whether her mother loved her, or if that was just an extension of her love for Garon. This contrasts with Leo, who explicitly says he never loved his mom, and Elise who (in the Japanese version at least) says she loved her mom, but her mom didn't love her back. In the English version, Camilla is more sure that her mother didn't love her for real, and calls her and the other concubines the lowest of the low. It's quite different, and I don't know if I dislike the approach compared to the detached one in Japanese.

3) Camilla brings up Corrin in English, saying she dotes on him because she knows what it's like to not be loved. JP version, she doesn't bring him up, and instead further contemplates if her mother actually cared for her.

I know this is about Niles, but what the partner says in a conversation with him can change his response. Case in point, this is the exchange that follows Camilla's background in the Japanese version:

Zero: That's enough, Lady Camilla. I was mistaken. You are not pitiful, you are a woman who's stood strong and never resigned yourself... someone far too dazzling for me.

Camilla: Zero...

In English, this is what the exchange is instead:

Niles: I'm so sorry. I was wrong about you! You disguise your pain well. I didn't realize.

Camilla: I didn't tell you all this so you could apologize. I want you to think twice before you judge someon else unfairly!

---The English version made Niles more impersonal (and kind of a wimp) in his apology, and Camilla more reactive in response. In Japanese, the words he uses are more... genuine? I'd like to say? And Camilla is genuinely stunned that he'd retract his words like that. Again, Niles' can be very compassionate and sincere, he's just a hard nut to crack. And Camilla, well... her violent tendencies was meant to be more of a "tranquil fury" kind of anger, the kind that unnerves and terrifies you, rather than is abrupt and shocking, but the English version sort of altered that as well.

Oh, and in the JP version, as recompense Niles offers to apologize in the nude and be dragged around, but in the English version he asks her to beat him instead. Not to important, because Camilla refuses either way, but in English she does say "Seriously, Niles. I'll pass. If you want to be flogged, you'll have to do it yourself." Which is really fucking funny so kudos to Treehouse, you got a laught out of me.

--S Rank has less important changes, but in Japanese Camilla does get very forward and flirtatious with him, saying that "even though you're not a thief anymore, you've stolen my heart" and is more open to his sexual advances at the end of the conversation. In the English version, though, she gets a bit more scandalized, which is :/

Niles with Corrin

-In C rank, there's a bit of a change. In Japanese Zero says that trust is born from violent clashes but that maybe there was a difference in how him and Kamui were raised. Still, he says it's nice of Kamui to say he trusts him. Kamui's interest is piqued he wants to talk to Zero more, to which the latter says that he has weird hobbies but to do whatever he liked.

In English, Niles instead says "trust is borne ouf of a violent confrontation or traumatic experience. I supposed you must have had some kind of blessed childhood, free from worry." Corrin rebukes this and Niles apologizes. When Corrin tries to probe, Niles says "Oh ho! You offer nothing and expect juicy gossip in return. Sorry, child, but you'll have to do better than that."

--Not only is Niles more antagonistic towards Corrin in English, he also just assumes that Corrin's childhood was good, which he doesn't do in Japanese. He's actually quite objective and calm in Japanese. The change remains odd, because then the B rank flips Niles to be nicer all of a sudden.

Anyway, in B, there's details that are different. In Japanese, Niles says this, when asked to relay his background to Corrin.

Zero: I'm fine with it. It's not really a big deal, anyway. Ever since I've been a child, I've done anything I had to to get by. Stealing, begging, assaulting people, killing them... It would be pretty difficult to think of an evil deed I haven't done. [...] What? Surprised, ar you? I haven't even gotten to the best part! Anything I had that was of any value, I'd sell. Everything you could think of. The most intense one was that one time... who would've thought such a great man would-

But in English, he says this:

Niles: Very well. But you should know up front that it's not all lollipops and puppy dogs. Since I was a chold, I've had to do a lot of unsavory things just to survive. Steal, beg, kill-just another Tuesday for li'l Niles, sadly. [...] Surprised? I haven't even gotten to the good stuff.

--Basically, the Japanese version implies a lot more, including prostitution. The English version cuts it off. After that, it kind of continues the same way, though Niles in the JP version does more openly admit he was exaggerating a bit.

A rank doesn't have anything major regarding Niles, but the "low-friction tactical grappling and strategy" that he mentions in the English version? In Japanese is instead referred to as "sumo wrestling, famous sport in Hoshido." I'm a sucker for a developed world, so someone besides Rinkah talking about sumo was a neat surprise.

The S rank for Female Corrin was pretty faithfully adapted, but was also notoriously used for the Male Corrin as well. Here are the lines that were in the Japanese S support, exclusively for Male Corrin and Niles.

After asking Corrin to marry him, this exchange happens:

Kamui: B-but... I'm a man, you know.

Zero: I'm aware of that. We're both men, and our social positions differ greatly, but I'm saying this with both of those things in mind. I... love you, Lord Kamui. No matter what anyone says. I couldn't keep myself from conveying these feelings any longer.

Kamui: You're serious...

Zero: Yeah. It's the first time I've felt like this. This is different from my loyalyt to Lord Leo- I've been feeling something warm in my body all this time. It's strange... normally, I like watching others be troubled, but when you look sad, I feel a pain in my chest. I want to protect you with my own two hands, keep you precious to me, and spoil you rotten. And... if possible, I wish to make you happier than anybody else.

Kamui: ...Zero...

Zero: Lord Kamui... would you be willing to marry me?

Kamui: ...

Zero: ...I guess that's a no. I'm sure you'd preferred it to have com from a woman, but hearing this from a man must be...

Kamui: … even if you won’t tell me about your past…

Zero: Huh?

Kamui: If it’s about the future, then we should be able to talk about it, right? From bygone days to the future – why don’t we talk about it together? If yes, then… I accept your proposal.

Zero: Is it really all right? Are you certain? You… won’t regret this?

Kamui: I won’t regret it. If I told you I wasn’t surprised, I’d be lying, but… what you said earlier made me so happy. I want to accept your feelings. I want us to be happy together. … from now on and forever, I always want to be with you.

Zero: … Thank you. … I wasn’t wrong about you after all.

Kamui: Haha. It’s an honor to measure up to your expectations.

--You're free to draw your own conclusions on this. I feel that gay relationships are inherently different in our society compared to straight ones, so writing them should be different. Given that, I prefer the original JP lines over the English version making the S rank the same between genders. It feels more real, and the extra lovey-dovey stuff from Niles to M!Corrin exclusively is just, ughhh, chef's kiss.

Endings

The only major different one is the gay one with Niles and M!Corrin in Conquest. In Japanese it's this:

"Kamui, after helping the reconstruction of both Nohr and Hoshido countries, traveled the world. By his side was the constant presence of Zero. It is said that the two of them left stories in every land. In their later years, they opened a small orphanage for children who were not blessed and lived their lives quietly."

In English, it's this:

"After helping restore Hoshido and Nohr, Corrin and Niles traveled the world together. The two were celebrated for their humanitarian work, inspiring songs, folktales, and poems worldwide."

---The English endings in general are a lot shorter, since you're able to convey a lot more information with Japanese letters/characters in the same amount of space compared to the English alphabet. Still, if I had to pick, I wish they brought over the orphanage tidbit instead, it's so fucking sweet.

Private Quarters Lines (These are the big changes that I have issues with)

Japanese (Friendship)

"You're an unguarded person, huh... If I became "interested" and did you right here... What would you do?"

"You're still using your hands purely... Shall I teach that body of yours something good?"

"Not bad. Next time I'll be the one servicing you."

"To have been noticed by a royal like you... wasn't so bad I guess. As thanks, I'll teach you about a lot of various things... Painful things... And pleasurable things, okay?"

English (Friendship)

"You seem nervous. Was this meant to be a date?"

"It's so revealing to see your room like this. I feel like I know you better than ever."

"I know, I know, it's my turn to invite you over. There's just... things... I don't want you to see. Yet."

"To think... an urchin like me... best friends with a royal like you. Life is so strange sometimes..."

Japanese (Lovers)

"For all that I had to endure... you better prepare yourself tonight. Even if you cry or scream... I won't stop."

"Close your eyes. Don't worry... Right now, I won't go any farther than a touch."

"I love you. My heart, which had been broken a long time ago... You picked it up and fixed it."

"Even now, I see this dream... A painful and agonizing dream... From when I was a child. But... If I were to wake up and see you beside me... I'll be okay. Please stay by my side. And when I sleep... Please hold my hand and never let go."

English (Lovers)

"I've waited so long for this. I'm never going to let you go!"

"Close those beautiful eyes for a second. ...Well?"

"I never thought I'd feel this way about anyone. It's a weakness, I suppose..."

"You've taught me to embrace love... and showed me that it can just as exquisite as pain. Let's share plenty of both."

---Yes, Niles in Japanese is more sexually charged, whether you're friends or lovers. But he's also SO MUCH MORE VULNERABLE, what the hell! He talks about how the world has broken his heart and how he has nightmares, and wants Corrin to stay by his side at night, just holding his hand!!! He's being sensitive and sincere and so ooey-gooey, ughhhh! In comparison, I feel the English version turned him into a personified ;) face, which has its own charm, but thinking about what it replaced? Yeah, it's no contest for me, I think the Japanese lines are better. Similarly...

Confession

Japanese: "So warm... Is this love? I can feel you deep inside me. When did I... become like this... and fall in love with you."

English: "Do you have any idea what you're getting into? I sure hope not."

---The confession is also a lot sweeter and heartfelt in Japanese, while impersonal and trying to be funny in English. I dearly love Niles when he's open and sincere, and it's a shame that many just haven't seen it.

-------

That's all I had to comment on! Thank you for reading, this was really fucking long lmaoooo.

#fire emblem fates #fire emblem #fire emblem if #niles fire emblem #zero fire emblem #fe14 #treehouse localization

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thanatologie · 9 days ago

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anyway, i really am sorry i've been a space cadet lately on both blogs, here's why:

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sunsetzer · 1 year ago

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On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.

On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.

#as someone who was in an extremely toxic and chaotic fandom and lowkey still traumatized #to the point where I'm afraid to mention which fandom it was/what my ship was #i have to say #i genuinely love it here #i was nervous at first sharing my ships and headcanons but everyone is so chill i was worried for nothing #thank you to everyone I've interacted with who has made this fandom a healing experience for me #i shudder to think about what some of the people i interacted with in a previous fandom would do with ff6 #probably would take edgar's flirting at face value and call him problematic for objectifying women #instead of considering the narrative and what we know about him and the way he actually treats women #my man drinks loving and respecting women juice he's not a creep #or that weird moment with relm that admittedly made me double take before i realized what he meant #theyd have a whole campaign against him lmfao #bc those people boil characters alive until they're just a formless pile of tropes and stereotypes #and seem to disregard all positive aspects of a character they don't like which is fine #but then they go and try to force other people to think like they do and ugh #theres a lot of silly moments in the game and aspects of these characters that make them well rounded and realistically flawed at times #and i fear that would get lost in the chaos if the floodgates opened after a remake #maybe im just jaded lmao #im jaded and i have anxiety so im always thinking about The Worst Case Scenario #the collective positive spirit of the dwellers in this fandom might actually foster a positive space if more people were to come in #ff6 #my post #i was gonna say maybe this is bc we're mostly adults #but that falls flat when i remember how some of the most toxic and immature people in some fandoms are grown ass adults #who bully each other and younger fans #and some of the most mature and cool people were actually younger #maybe ff6 fans are just built different lmao #also idk how old anyone else actually is there might be teenagers here i just don't think about it a lot

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delta-piscium · 2 years ago

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I was very slow to do this and some of these people tagged me literally two weeks ago and some have been very wonderful and tagged me multiple times despite the fact that I've been so slow so thank you all so much and tagged by @wynnyfryd @starryeyedjanai @steves-strapcollection @stobinesque @matchingbatbites @steddieas-shegoes @xenon-demon @scarcrossdlvrs @sidekick-hero @thefreakandthehair (i think that's everyone)

rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote and tag as many people as there are words.

The anxiety that had been festering deep in his gut all day slowly started to unfurl, it curled out into his arms and legs, took hold of his neck, and settled in his heart.

that's 34 words so I need to use more full stops in my writing, and like, most of the people I can think to tag are either the ones who tagged me or I've seen be tagged a bunch already but if you want to do this consider yourself tagged and also if you tagged me I'm just gonna say I'm tagging you back for the next sentence you write

#the rules: tag people #me: what if i just say 'no you' ?#also this is not the fic i should be writing at all but i had a moment and was like 'what if i write angst instead of working on any wip (:#i'm gonna edit that sentence and put in some periods bc jesus why so many commas del?#okay actually im getting stuck editing this sentence now but that's kind of the opposite of the point of this so i removed my edits and am #stopping myself like christ let it be unpolished that's what we're here for #anyways thank you all for tagging me and making me write and all #and also sharing your process it's so fun to see #tag game #my post #writing tag game

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vv-ispy · 1 month ago

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way-too-ambigious puzzle/mystery game where the sequence of events is based in unreality

#like a crossover between portal and mystery games like dangan (I say this with acknowledgement that I've barely played any mystery games)#but dang case 5 is still my favourite for the use of luck bc every other case is grounded in reality #they just use some creative thinking of available resources but everyone knows how gravity or whatever works #and yet the luck use makes total sense. it's another resource/a rule that only applies to one specific character #but also doesn't come out of nowhere in that case 1 introduced it too but as a passive effect as opposed to something actively used #(though I'd also argue that contradictory to him playing it off as misunderstanding the rules of the game #the roulette scene was instead an instance of ko.maeda completely understanding how his luck actually works and manipulating that #to ensure he gets the least likely outcome and survives. but that's beside the point here)#actually i'm not even sure if a *whole* game based off stuff like that would be fun skldfhsd but I love portal a ton and it's #kinda the same idea as portal: introduce a new tool to the world #and teach the player how to use it; how to think with it; tutorialize it within the world #could be a true puzzle/mystery mix of having the player solve puzzles with the tool then later kinda do the inverse #of presenting peices of a solved puzzle and having them connect the dots of what happened to solve it #......mystery games being inverse puzzle games. is that anything? I should look into analysis of mystery games as a genre at some point #rip the fact one of the main barriers for me actually making a game is all the art assets needed. also music #but regardless jots this sorta thing down as an idea; unrealistic tools and the overlap between puzzle games vs mystery games #truly i should play more mystery games bc of how much fun I'm having with this one but alas I know if I play too many I'll get bored #this one's fun bc I love the over all story and all the mystery solving aspects is fun for being novel gameply dressing on top #probably just gonna return to studying math/phys once we're done the game bc it's a similar problem solving rush but more relevant to stuff #personal talk

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heckling-hydrena · 4 months ago

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I have a complicated relationship with the concept of microlabels and more specifically aspec microlabels, because on one hand I have nothing against people who want to use a term that more closely describes their experiences it's literally none of my business good for them etc. but on the other hand I do think that sometimes people feel pushed to use microlabels because there are sooo many misconceptions about what asexuality and aromanticism actually are. so for example people who are just discovering their identity will try to connect with other aspecs, realize their experiences don't fully match every other aspec's experiences and get insecure, and that leads to interactions like "is it normal that I'm aromantic but I like shipping and romcoms?" "that actually means you're aegoromantic!" like it doesn't have to! it literally doesn't have to you don't have to identify as aego you can just call yourself aromantic! I feel like it would be way more productive to put effort into dispelling the idea that there's a 'proper' way to be asexual/aromantic instead of creating a microlabel for every experience that doesn't match common stereotypes.

and I'm gonna talk about asexuality specifically here because asexuality is still talked about so much more often (sorry to the aroallo warriors out there) but we've, and I can only assume this is a consequence of the stupid fucking ace discourse, internalized this weird idea that anyone who doesn't 100% fit into the category of 'never felt sexual attraction ever + no libido + sex-repulsed + never even THINKS about sex' either needs to use a microlabel or maybe even isn't really asexual. I've genuinely seen people ask "can I be asexual if I masturbate" "can I be asexual if I think this fictional character is hot" like YES? YES OBVIOUSLY? who is making you feel like you can't call yourself asexual point them out in the crowd for me tell me their name and their home address.

not to mention the fringe group of idiots (and I'll be real it's mostly weirdo terfs saying this shit) who are like "ohhh I feel bad for the REAL asexuals IF they even EXIST because these STRAIGHT people who don't put out on the first date are HIJACKING their community" which pisses me off so bad every time I see it. who the fuck are you to speak for me? keep your forked tongue behind your teeth etc etc.

like idk! people are totally allowed to call themselves aceflux and quoiromantic and fray and litho and whatever they want, but they should never feel like they have to! and it's become abundantly clear that some are being made to feel like they have to.

#posting this on the fr blog because like 80% of you are aspec I've seen your icons I've seen your pride dragons I know what you are.#asexual #aromantic #aroace #not fr

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shradsmanifestt · 5 months ago

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These are the only things You need to know about manifestation :

Manifestation is not a process. You aren't trying to manifest anything. You are just accepting the fact that it's already yours.

Don't get stuck in the trying/learning phase, you don't need it to make sense. You don't need to know how/when/what. Just know that it's already done.

You make the rules in your reality. Stop asking if you can manifest this/that or why some coach was saying this and the other coach said the opposite. Don't accept what they say as true in your reality. What's the point of being the operant power in your own reality if you're just gonna go behind the latest technique/ fad some random person on the internet tells you to do.

The simplest way is the real way. Accept it as true in your reality. That's all there is to it. If you wanna affirm and persist do that, If you wanna do saturation do that, If you wanna listen to subs do that. There is no right or wrong way. Just accept the fact that it is already done.

To answer the question of how can I assume something to be true when it clearly isn't - How come you always assume the worst when it comes to stuff you want? Don't you assume how you're gonna be late somewhere before it even happens? Don't you assume that something's gonna go wrong before it even happened? Don't you overthink all sorts of shit without once knowing what's actually happening behind the scenes? If you can do all this shit with no proof whatsoever, you can assume what you want is true - if you really want it. I said what I said.

Don't be afraid to claim it as true. You aren't being delusional, You aren't aiming too high, No it's not that farfetched, It's okay to want what you want, It isn't impossible (unless you assume it is). Stop letting fear take over your power. If you can desire it you can have it.

More often than not people stumble upon manifestation because they are desperately trying to manifest something. Like their SP, or money or the job or appearance change or whatever it might be. Most people fail at manifesting what they want the most. In my personal opinion, it's because you're so busy "TRYING" to manifest it and just stuck in the process and have just too much resistance. You guys are never like - I have it, but instead like - I'm trying to manifest it. I'm manifesting this and that.

Change that. You are not gonna be stuck in that anymore. You are gonna decide now and here that it is already done. You have it. It is yours. NOT TOMORROW, NOT TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY, BUT NOW.

You have it now. If you can accept this, nothing can stop you from having what you want.

#law of assumption #loass success #loassblog #loass states #loassumption #loass post #loass #affirm and persist #loa #loa tumblr #neville goddard #consciousness #loa blog #loatwt #loassblr #loablr #loa success #imagination #shradsmanifestt

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rcmclachlan · 1 month ago

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wind finding

buck/tommy

8x14/8x15 spec fic

I wrote this right before my first morning meeting, so if it's rushed and makes no sense, I'm well aware. Enjoy!

The very second Tommy went with helicopters, people came crawling out of the woodwork to offer their two cents on everything from industry politics (all dangled carrots and empty promises) to what constitutes a good operator (whoever's actually signing your paycheck at the time) to which jobs would bring in the most money (ditching helicopters entirely in favor of planes) to the best ways to manage stress (avoiding utility altogether).

But the one piece of advice Tommy has never forgotten came from one of his first operators in Afghanistan, who had a face like a mountain crag and every word that came out of his mouth had to first find its way around the wad of dip permanently attached to his bottom gums.

"Being able to find the wind is the only skill you need to nail down, or else you're gonna frag out faster'n you can say 'high as bat pussy'. The odds of being able to see the leaves on a fuckin' tree are less'n nothin' out here, never mind spottin' a fuckin' windsock, Kinard. The second you get in the air, you just listen to your bird; she'll tell you point blank where the wind is, so long as you've got your ears on."

Then Warrant Officer Harold hocked a loogie the size of a crow at the ground and stormed away, shouting, "PRIVATE KEATON, IF YOU DON'T STOP FONDLIN' THAT REFUEL PROBE I'M GONNA SHOVE IT IN YOUR DICK HOLE!"

Twenty years later, Tommy's in the cockpit of his favorite AW139 with the mouth of a glock pressed right above his brain stem, and the second he achieves optimal altitude, he finds the wind.

"You make it look so effortless, like it's just something your body does. Like breathing," Evan had said during their one and only legal flight together, like he wasn't furious that Tommy had woken him up at 3:30 in the morning on his day off to go for a joyride. Even as the sun peeked over the horizon to see if the coast was clear, it couldn't hope to match the sheer brightness of Evan's smile.

If being able to find the wind wasn't practically part of his autonomic nervous system at this point in his career, Tommy'd have no business being in the air at all.

"Remember," the guy with the gun, Remo, murmurs into the headset he'd forced Tommy to give him. "Top of the Aon. We're making the switch there."

"Nakatomi Tower would be better for this sort of thing," Tommy mutters.

Instead of being whipped with the gun, the speaker in his ear crackles with Remo's laughter. "I was more partial to the second film."

Tommy grips the cyclic a little tighter. "That's the worst thing you've admitted to so far."

It's not. Bombing multiple police stations was bad enough, but one of them was right next to a school. The last thing that came through the comms before Remo's buddies hacked it was the 118 being called to 309 Lucas Ave in Westlake North for fire containment and emergency medical assistance.

He glances at the dashboard. Tucked right above the radar is a little photo he'd printed out at his local CVS on a whim while he was getting a 'Happy 80th birthday, grandma!" card for Sal. It's barely anything: a portrait forced to inhabit a 4x4 square, so the quality is extra shitty. But the man in it is smiling brighter than a sunrise over the ocean, and Tommy's heart gives a pitiful thud just looking at it.

Melton would've shit a brick if he'd known about it. Despite what Hollywood would have the general populace believe, having pictures of loved ones on a pilot's dashboard can be a hell of a distraction. It goes against LAFD regs.

But having spent the last month reacquainting himself with Evan's smile and the wild hope that they could have a future together, it felt right to tack the photo up. He was professional enough that he wouldn't let it get in the way of the job.

He thinks of Evan watching him from the bed this morning, tangled up in sheets that smelled like the both of them. He thinks of the blurred, sleep-damp smile on Evan's face as Tommy hid the evidence of what they got up to the previous night.

"You're covering up a masterpiece," Evan had said, voice a little blurred with sleep. "That's some of my best work."

"Let me guess: if I connect all the hickeys, it's gonna turn into a dolphin or something?"

Evan had thrown back his head on the pillow and cackled, and Tommy had thought, We could build a life on this.

Except Evan is pulling tiny bodies out of the ruins of Gratts Elementary, Tommy's got a gun to his head, and Remo's little cell of opportunistic assholes are using the bombings across the city to distract from the 51% blockchain hack they pulled off two hours ago. Tommy doesn't understand crypto for the life of him, but what he got from Harbor's newest probie was something something a blockchain’s distributed ledger was changed and double spending was enabled. At the time, it seemed like a lot of bullshit that boiled down to "they now control the invisible internet money conveyor belt," but at least 200 people are dead, and according to Remo, there are still 70 bombs wired and ready to explode on his say-so.

Unless Tommy flies him and his weird, silent friend to the Aon, where someone's going to be waiting to whisk them away to all points nowhere. Tommy knows exactly how this is going to shake out: the second he lands the bird, Remo's going to bury a bullet in Tommy's brain before disappearing into the wind, leaving the world in shambles. But it won't be enough. Remo will get bored before long—the smart, psychotic ones always do—and then pop back up at some point to do even worse if he has the opportunity.

Ten years from now, they'll make a documentary series about all this. Evan will watch it, because he's contractually obligated to seek out things that will hurt him for some reason, and it'll probably be like cutting open a just-healed wound. He'll spiral until Maddie or one of the others forces him to stop. The series will be called something stupid, like Finding Remo.

That is, of course, if Remo has the opportunity.

Swallowing, throat clicking, Tommy glances at the photo on the dashboard. Evan beams at him from where he's posing like the dorkiest Greek god in the pantheon on top of a boulder somewhere on the Temescal Canyon Trail. That had been a good day. It seemed like the start of a lifetime of them.

He looks away and out the windshield where, up ahead, the Aon stands tall against the sky. But standing taller, and closer, is Library Tower.

Exhaling, Tommy keeps his eyes straight. "Listen, you can put the gun away. It's not the threat you think it is."

"No?" Remo presses the glock harder against the back of Tommy's head, and Tommy stifles a wince. "You think I won't shoot you?"

"Oh, I know you're gonna shoot me," Tommy says, almost cheerfully. He refuses to look any closer at that. "I just don't think you're gonna do it while we're hanging 900 feet above the city."

The pause that follows is probably only a second or two, but it feels like a decade. Finally, the press of metal disappears, and Tommy hears the safety clicking back on.

"You seem pretty calm about all this," Remo says, curiosity making his already light voice positively airy.

Tommy shrugs. "Last year I stole one of these to fly some friends into a category 5 hurricane, then landed it on a capsized cruise ship. This? Doesn't even break a 6.5 on my Crazy Shit-o-meter."

Remo laughs, and Tommy hears the tell tale rustling of the gun being holstered. Thankfully the rotors completely drown out the sound of his heart pounding, which would otherwise be audible from space.

"Let me just say that of all the pilots I could've kidnapped, you're by far the most entertaining."

"Thank you," Tommy says seriously.

Below them, the Walt Disney Concert Hall is lit up for the night's show. They'll be passing the BoA Financial Center, and from there it's only a couple of minutes until their destination.

"Hey, uh, since this does end with me getting shot," Tommy ventures, trying to keep a lid on the massive amounts of adrenaline that are being dumped into his bloodstream. He must be visibly vibrating. "Could I... could I make a call?"

Remo snorts. "Let me guess: 9-1-1?"

Okay, that's kind of funny. Tommy cracks a grin. "Not quite. I have someone... I have someone, and there's something important I need to say."

One of the drawbacks of a helicopter's cockpit is there's no rearview mirror, which would really come in handy right now. He has no idea what Remo's face is doing. He has no idea if he's looking at his silent companion and having some kind of wordless conversation, if Remo is the kind of guy who would grant the last wish of someone he's using.

Finally, after what feels like years, Remo says, "You get ten seconds. You'd better make them count."

He's done more with less. "That's fair. But I'm either going to need you to call it for me or let me hook into an open line."

The air inside the helicopter seems to squeeze inward. "An open line?"

"My... my boyfriend's LAFD." He bites down on the inside of his cheek as they pass the BoA Center on the left, and hopes against all hope that Remo isn't too much of a homophobe to deny the request.

But surprise, surprise. Remo only laughs and says, "How romantic. Urs, get him on an open line to his firefighter boyfriend. It's the least we can do after everything he's done to help us."

Tommy can't see what Urs is doing, but his headset crackles with the familiar static of a live comms line.

"Ten seconds," Remo reminds him. Below them, the roof of Library Tower seems both miles away and impossibly close.

It's all he needs.

"This is LAFD pilot Tom Kinard. Evan Buckley, if you're listening, look in the drawer to the right of the microwave. There's something in there for you." He quietly undoes his harness and kills the engine. "It's yours. It's always been yours."

Just as the AW139 is about to clear the roof of the tower, Tommy shoulders open the door and kicks off into the sky.

The wind is blowing southeast.

"N-No, no, no, hey, it's okay, don't fight it, you're okay—hey, I need some help in here! He's waking up! Tommy, they're going to take it out, just wait."

There's a tree trunk growing out of his throat, but trying to move it is impossible, and the effort takes everything out of him. So he gives up, gagging and drifting in and out, then decides to just climb the entire length of the tree to get a look at the view. From there, it's just a matter of finding the wind and floating away with it.

The next time he surfaces, there's something hard over his face, warm and humid, and when the clouds clear from his vision he's able to see two things: Evan's wide-eyed expression of relief, and a giant orange poster board in Lucy's familiar, blocky handwriting that says 2 DAYS SINCE KINARD LAST TAUNTED GOD.

There's a 1 in front of the 2, but it's crossed out.

"Hey!" Evan breathes, and the mattress at Tommy's hip dips a little under his weight. "H-Hey, there you are. Morning! Well, not, uh, morning exactly—it's like 8 o'clock at night—but you're awake!"

"I am." It's muffled by the oxygen mask.

"How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?" Evan leans in, blocking Tommy's view of anything else. He hasn't shaved in a bit, and the hair at his temples looks a little greasy. He's the most gorgeous thing Tommy's ever laid eyes on.

"No pain," Tommy rasps. "M'body's full'f cotton."

Evan smiles a little. "Yeah, they've got you on the good stuff. I can't tell you how many bones you've broken, because it seems like they're still finding them. The doctor did say he'd never seen a pneumothorax quite like yours before, though. He keeps bringing other doctors in to look at your scans. I think a couple of them cancelled their surgeries so they could watch yours yesterday. You're like a celebrity. You've got, like, four tubes in you sucking the excess air out."

For a second, Tommy has no idea what he's talking about. Pneumothorax? How'd he manage that? Lucy's gonna give him shit for the next year.

Then, like a breeze kicking up from the west, it all comes sweeping in. Something starts beeping a little erratically. "Did—did he... he didn't... did... R-Remo...?"

The words are slow and thick, like they have to climb over the broken branches the tree had left behind, but understanding lights up Evan's face almost immediately. He thinks Evan must be holding his hand, because there's pressure on his fingers that feels like it's coming from another room.

"He didn't," Evan says softly, but there's a sparkle of brutal satisfaction in his eyes that Tommy can't look away from. "The helicopter went down like a sack of bricks after you ditched it. It took out the coffee shop in the library. Before you ask: they close at 2:30, so no one had been in there for hours. No one was hurt. Except, well, what's his name."

Tommy closes his eyes and breathes in the canned, almost metallic stuff they're feeding him through the mask. It's so pure, it makes him a little dizzy.

"Good." His sinuses prickle hotly. "Good. That's..."

"Hey, hey, shhh," Evan coos, and Tommy opens his eyes just in time to see Evan press his mouth lushly to the curve of the oxygen mask. Despite whatever they're giving him, Tommy's lips ache with the need to feel that kiss.

"Evan," he whispers.

When he pulls back, Evan's got a wide, almost gleeful grin tugging the corners of his mouth to his ears. He looks like he's about to blow up a Gotham City school bus to try and draw out Batman. Instead, he lifts his left hand.

The lights in the room are low, so the ring on Evan's finger doesn't really glint as brightly as it should, but the light in Evan's eyes is almost blinding.

"Drawer to the right of the microwave, huh?" He laughs a little, like it's bubbling out of him, like he can't stop it. "How long had that been in there?"

It takes a moment for Tommy to pick through the cobwebs in his brain. "Mm... got it... after we did that flight over... hm... Channel Islands."

Evan stares at him, then his bubbly laughter morphs into maniacal cackling.

Tommy glances down at his hands to see if they gave him a button for the pain meds he's on. He's going to dilaudid himself into oblivion.

"That was four months into..." Evan uses their joined hands to wipe away the tears beading on his lashes. "When I asked you to move in, you ran away so fast you left a trail of dust behind you. But you bought an engagement ring four months into dating me?"

"In my defense," Tommy says, suddenly very jealous of Remo for dying a fiery death in the LA Library coffee shop. "I knew... you were it for me. You, on the other hand, had no idea... hm... what you wanted. Asking me... to move in wasn't—it wasn't about me."

Pursing his lips, Evan ducks his head and doesn't deny it, but when he tilts his chin up, the only thing on his face is bare, earnest truth. "I knew I wanted you, Tommy, any way I could have you. I didn't know what that looked like, and not knowing made me... I don't know if you've noticed, but I tend to cling when I panic."

Tommy thinks back over the last month—how every time he showed up on Eddie's doorstep, Evan practically threw himself at Tommy, clutching at him like he was afraid Tommy might go back down the walkway and leave; how getting up to take a piss or grab a Gatorade meant leaving the bed, and the look on Evan's face every time was like watching a car crash—and squeezes Evan's hand. He thinks he does, at least.

"Do you... know what it looks like now?" It takes almost all his strength to get the words out. A wave of exhaustion rolls over him, and he pinwheels a little with it. Kicking his way back to the surface takes concentration.

Evan lifts his hand again. The ring fits his finger perfectly. "It looks like you, about to fall asleep."

Another wave bowls him over, and he fights to keep his eyes open. Lucy's stupid poster blurs like someone's upturned a can of Sprite over it.

"I'll be here when you wake up, and so will half the LAPD and a bunch of people from the FBI. You're the hero of the day," Evan murmurs, and Tommy grumbles a little. "But, hey, Tommy. Before you—how did you know? How'd you know I was it for you?"

Even as he's being pulled down into the dark, he looks up, and he sees the surface roiling, dancing with the light of an old sunrise that couldn't hold a candle to the phenomenon of Evan Buckley's smile.

"Found th' wind," Tommy mumbles, drifting down, down, down. "'s easy. Like breathing."

#i wrote this directly into the tumblr text box like i had nothing to lose and it shows #bucktommy #bucktommy fic #tevan fic #911 spec fic #rc's 911 fics

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makelemonade · 1 year ago

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smut scenarios with genshin men

ayato, neuvillete, pantalone, diluc, wriothesly, childe, dottore (?), capitano, pierro- his maid/assistant

he loved how cute you were; How you always pulled your skirt up and showed off your thighs; How you always had your hair done, as if you had someone to impress.

You had him to impress, actually. He watches you bend down with a sharp eye, feeling himself harden just at the show of extra skin and excuses himself as he goes to the privacy of his office, jerking off as he imagines you bending over his lap as he spanks the revealed skin that just sends him haywire.

He starts requesting you stay late while the other workers go home, and he hopes you don't see through his facade but you oh so clearly can and you of course accept the request.

One night, you can hear him groan from the stress of his constant work and you knock at the door, waiting for his tired voice to speak.

"Come in,"

You walk in, and slight surprise overtakes him but there's a happy spark in his eyes. "Y/N, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I just thought you could use some help with your work," You spoke slyly and innocently as you walked up to his desk/

He looked at you confused, "What do you- oh,"

He lets out a groan when your fingers started to firmly yet softly dig into his back, hitting all the right spots as he completely relaxes.

He wants to say this is unprofessional- he’s your boss! But was jerking off to you and fantasizing about you professional? No.

That was his reasoning for his boldness when he speaks. "You know, I'm feeling rather sore...down here."

That is how you find yourself in his lap, bouncing on his fat cock as you tried to stay quiet, but it was hitting such amazing spots and so deep into you that you couldn't help yourself but to scream his name.

"nghh- oh! yes, yes!"

If it was possible, it was turning him on even more- watching you struggle to take his large size but still trying to ride him just to be his stress relief. Instead, he decides to thrust up into you, making you stop trying and instead lean against him, wrapping your arms around him as he placed his hands on your hips, taking the lead and sending you into purebliss.

"oh~ oh! fuck...so deep!"

"if you're truly so keen on being such a good stress relief for me, well, then I hope you don't mind if I rail you for the rest of the night...and possibly every other.

thoma, kaeya, kazuha, Itto, aether, albedo, zhongli - a shrine maiden (or anything related in the other regions)

He doesn’t know what it is but there’s something about your innocence that he just needs to ruin.

Well, not ruin: he thinks it’s adorable, but he knows that one day someone else will see you in a way he fantasizes about late at night and he is determined to become that person because no one else deserves to see you in a way like that other than him.

He takes more frequent trips to where you work, to the point that it’s so often you find yourself hugging him when you see him and you don’t think about the way he holds on tightly, hands right above your ass.

However, you weren’t as innocent as he thought. Sure, you were completely oblivious ro the truth behind his actions but late at night, there was a possibility you had the same fantasias about it too. But you couldn’t show it to him! No, you had a job to do and it was to stay pure.

You just loved the way his touches were so teasing as they lingered near the places you oh so wish you could take care of.

It becomes so bad it starts to ache, and you find yourself at his door after coming back from work, needing his help for this relief and he is so happy to oblige.

Tears streamed down your face, moaning at how good his cock felt as it pushed into you so deeply, hitting all the spots your fingers never could.

“f-faster…” You gasped, “please!”

He could only let out a deep chuckle, his movement becoming harsher that anyone who even walked nearby the house could hear the slick noises.

“You’re gonna make me cum, darling.”

“In me!” you whined, trying to push yourself further onto his dick and he laughed. “f-fill me up!”

“Such indecency, dear. No one can know how much of a slut you are; it’ll ruin your image! That means you must always come to me for this, got it?”

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nichuuu · 4 months ago

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From Eden

Jeon Heejin x M reader

(1st instalment of De Selby)

PSA: This shit has not seen the editing board because I'm lazy. Fell off real hard. Sorry gang.

Word count: 10k

You liked to think that your first meeting with her after all those years was a fluke.

As it went for most people who went their separate ways at a point in their lives: there was history between you and Jeon Heejin. It was a little more choppy than you’d like to admit, but it formed the crux of your relationship and you couldn’t just ignore it. She seemed to find no qualms in forgetting what happened between the two of you. And as you caught up with her at a booth seat in some club you guys bumped into each other at, you wondered if you’d overreacted when the two of you had your falling out.

She was possibly kinda bad company for the night – not exactly a face you wanted to see three beers in and ditched by the rest of your friends cause they all got too drunk and found themselves booted from this hellhole. But at the end of the day, they all say that it’s better to be in poor company than to be alone.

***

To whatever gods that were out there, you thanked all of them collectively for the fact that the toilet that she’d dragged you into was empty. You hoped that the cubicle door was enough to keep whatever was happening in the bathroom privy to its occupants. The music that pulsed on outside the bathroom should be enough to cover you right?

Heejin—as usual��had no qualms about skipping past the usual formalities of intimacy. Those deft hands were on your belt faster than you could utter her name, and your cock was in her hand before you even knew it. She was gentle with you, stroking you considerately as she laid a hand on your chest. Those fingers made you tingle from the tip down, pushing you to new levels of pleasure you’d no idea you could experience. They gripped you lightly yet firmly, applying pressure at all the right spots to make your toes curl in your shoes and your muscles tense throughout your body. You could only wonder: did she know what she was doing to you? Or was she just getting really lucky. However sordid this situation was, it felt right to you… and maybe to her as well.

“Jesus Heejin”--your hissing through your teeth. It sounds a little more aggressive than you’d like, but you know she’d have no qualms about it anyway–“you sure know your way around a dick.”

The smirk on her face was snitching on the fact that she definitely knew what she was doing. She leaned in, flushing herself against your chest while she continued to deliver languid strokes to the rock hard meat in her hand. “Thanks… He loves a nice handjob from time to time, though I always imagine myself giving it to you instead of him to get into it..”

You summoned the strength to look into her eyes – really gaze deep into those lustful, beautiful orbs she’d been blessed with. Past the want and need, there was an undeniable look of sincerity she held, a wordless soulful confession to you that she had always fantasised you in place of her ‘lover’. It drove you to push a little further, “and what are you thinking about now that I’m actually the one you’re giving it to?”

Heejin thought about it for a moment, almost as if she had a million and one answers that could express her carnal desires. Honestly, you wouldn’t put it past her to actually harbour a million and one answers. She was always a wild thinker in many aspects. She was also diligent, and that translated into the way her hand hadn’t stopped moving throughout the eternity (it was shorter than that, but it sure felt like it) she took to produce a congenial answer.

“Now that you’re actually here,” she finally answered, making sure to hit you with a smile that blurred the distinct line between sweet and sultry, “I’m thinking about how good you’re gonna fill me with this pretty, thick cock.”

“Pretty?” you couldn’t help but chuckle. You’d heard and read of many ways that people described dicks, but never in your life would you ever expect the word ‘pretty’ to be amongst that mix. Heejin giggled – one of mischief and ‘know-it-all’ energy. It’s pretty – her grip around you tightened, squeezing you with pleasurable force as her movements quickened almost in sync with your breathing – because I like the way it feels in my hand… and I know that this cock is gonna be better than anything that he’ll ever give me.

She stopped, putting a jarring halt to the pleasure that surged through your system. Her hand on your chest snaked up to your cheek – a sweet action that almost took the pure filth out of the words that followed. “I want you to fuck me–no, own me.”

It felt almost like a command in the way that you immediately wanted to fulfill her request. Her thumb traces circles on your face; her speech only gets filthier, “fuck me like I’m yours. Make me cum so hard that I forget all about him.”

You found yourself back in control of the part of your brain that controls the facilities of your speech and movement. You gingery held the wrist that was delivering those soft strokes of heaven just moments ago and pulled her hand off your throbbing shaft. As much as you’d love to have her jerk you off, there were more pressing matters at hand – namely the situation of her clothing and the fact that it was still on her. You wrapped an arm around her, pulled her close.

“Heejin darling,” you whispered, relishing the way she shivered as your warm breath made contact with her ear. “I can’t do much if you still have all of these damned clothes on.”

She quickly recognised the game that you were playing and was eager to match you step-for-step. She held your gaze as she hooked a finger into the top of the tube top that adorned that wonderful figure and—rather enthusiastically—pulled it down. The nipple covers were quickly discarded and her small, perky breasts caught your gaze. Judging from her smile, she loved that you were staring.

“You’re nice”, she told you, moving some hair out her face like you were looking there of all places. “He’s always commanding me: take off your clothes, do this, do that… I could get very used to you.”

You couldn’t help but smile a little. Her constant comparison of you and the man she was supposed to be loving was making you feel a little better about yourself (even though you knew that was far from the intended effect). You’d like to return the favour; you began running kisses down her body – starting from her lips before making your way down to her collarbone. Her shuddering sighs told you that you were doing something right, and you endeavored to keep up your performance for the rest of… Well… Whatever this session was.

“God… you’re fucking perfect, you know?” you informed her, wondering if she ever knew how much you adored that body of hers. Yes, you were more wholesome at a younger age – looking at her soft features and dorky personality to decide that you liked her. However, innocence never stopped you from stealing a glance or two at her ass when she wore tight jeans or a quick look at her slim figure whenever she wore anything that hugged her body like a glove. You’d never know if she ever caught you looking, but now you’re glad she knows that you are giving her your fullest attention (it was hard not to really).

You weren’t sure if her cheeks were flushing because of your comment or if she was just getting turned on. Either way, she still had remarks to deliver, “perfect is a little strong, but I’ll take the comment because I’m just so humble.”

Mischief was and would always be her idiosyncrasy.

A creak made both of you freeze. Female voices filled the bathroom, accompanied by the sound of heels clacking against the floor as your little getaway location was patronised by unwelcome guests.

“Ugh… This damned contact lens is not coming out,” an identified voice carped. It sounded like the woman who said it was just in front of the stall that you were in. Judging from the slight look of annoyance that crossed Heejin’s face, you deduced that those were fellow bridesmaids who were in there together with you. With the same expression lingering on her soft features, she reached down and unclasped her jeans. She unzipped them slightly before pulling them down – past the delightful curve of her waist and till they were halfway down her supple thighs.

“Do you need help?” another voice rings out. Heels striked against the floor as another female occupant moved to join the scene; Heejin moved to grab you by the cock and pull you closer (as if the two of you weren’t already skin to skin in that stall).

“Fuck me now,” she hissed, an almost angry look filling her eyes. It was like she was being fuelled by the annoyance that stemmed from the presence of her fellow bridesmaids – using it as an excuse to quickly get filled with cock and have it pumping in and out of her within the next few seconds or so. She was lucky that you were taught to never keep a girl waiting.

Your movements are quick and firm; grabbing her by the waist and turning her around. Her gasp was telling of her surprise towards your sudden movements, but the grin that followed when she turned halfway around to you to watch as you pulled down her underwear told you that she liked how things were moving. Never in your life would you have imagined this: you and Jeon Heejin – each of you half naked in your own respects in a bathroom stall while people chatted freely beyond the wall of the stall. If the teenage version of yourself ever found out about this, you didn’t know how he’d respond.

Your right hand snaked down towards her crotch, and you are pleasantly surprised to find the slick wetness that could very well be running down the inside of her thigh. You could always check, but you liked to imagine. You took your shaft in your right hand. She bent slightly at the waist, her hands pressed against the white wall of the stall. The rest of her tight frame joined her hands soon after you parted the wet lips of her cunt and hilted yourself inside of her.

Her insides felt like a warm embrace – better than you could’ve ever imagined it to be. It felt like a perfect fit; the throbbing meat within her walls filled her perfectly and felt every small movement the flesh could ever register. To call it heavenly would be downplaying the sheer pleasure she was bringing just by letting you be inside of her. Jeon Heejin felt like something unreal, unfathomable. You doubted that your hastily crafted description of her sweet wet cunt could allow one to process this taste of heaven.

Heejin let out a sharp gasp – loud enough for only the two of you to hear and loud enough for you to know that she too was unprepared for this new experience. From the way the muscles on her back tensed as her walls tightened around you, it felt as if her body was welcoming you. It was almost like she was subconsciously pulling you closer, deeper. You could get very used to this.

You revel in it a little, take in the feelings, the new sensation; the sound of the intentional soft breaths that the two of you were taking. This was certainly a novelty for you, and if you were being very honest with yourself: the events that led up to this moment felt a little too much like a fever dream. You half expected yourself to wake up in the next few seconds, or maybe—

“What are you waiting for?”–of course. It had to be her to really cement the fact that this whole thing was actually real. Sure, it’s inconceivable; but no imaginative power of yours could ever replicate the sarcasm (splashed with hunger) behind her voice, nor could you visualise the smouldering look in her eyes as she bit her lip–“your dick is in me. Do something with it.”

It felt like a challenge. She knew damn well that you always took up her challenges.

Withdrawing yourself from the warmth of her slick, you took a moment to cast your gaze downward. You appreciate the sight of your shaft glistening in her juices for a moment—and only a moment. There were pressing matters at hand—before thrusting back into her and reacquainting yourself with the warmth of her walls. You’d have loved to get into this slowly; unfortunately, Heejin chose the worst possible place to get it on. You’d have to live with her choices (and this isn’t exactly new for you).

And as a third voice joins the fray outside your stall—I think I have some eye drops here. Maybe that could help?—you began pumping yourself in and out of her, slow and controlled with full strokes that filled her to the brim. The voices continued to fill the bathroom as the three anonymous patrons struggled with one of their lenses; you struggled to keep yourself together inside of Heejin’s hot wet cunt.

“F-Fuck yes,” she hissed. Don’t worry, it was soft. Or you could just be too absorbed by the delightful sound of wet squelching as your shaft appears and disappears between her legs to notice that she may be a tad loud. Even if it was, the trouble outside was enough to keep the other three “I can’t believe I’m finally getting this dick. God… You’re so… Oh my god.”

It humoured you to see her in this state, though laughing at her would be the pot calling the kettle black; you yourself were trying to hold on to something tangible—that wasn’t her waist cause hot damn was your grip on it doing a number on you. Counterintuitive, but hot nonetheless—to keep you grounded in your senses. Slip up and you’d be dealing with the risk of being found in a girl’s bathroom.

“Jesus Heejin”–you were trying your best to throw in some dirty talk. It would help to spice things up if it weren’t for the fact that your own words were failing you. Your mind was almost completely consumed by the warm squeeze of her pussy, the small twitches of her walls as you drilled yourself into her tight frame like you were slowly nailing a painting onto the wall of the cramped stall. Actually, you were nailing a painting to the wall of the stall: the way her body moved and responded to your thrusts could easily be considered fine art in your books; her body could be considered a canvas given its pale complexion and its smooth surface. Heejin was an art piece herself – a complicated mix of emotions that could take the place of colour and a mind so complex that no composition could ever capture its essence. Good god… You were hooked on this girl–”you have no idea how fucking good you feel around my cock.”

To be clear: from the moment you started fucking her, she hadn’t turned back to face the wall. This whole time she’d been facing you – eyes smoking under the fire of passion and her mouth slightly parted as if her soft moans and sighs were keeping them permanently open. Simply put – she was hot. If you were to discard the complications behind the sex, one could easily classify this as plain, passionate and simple fucking (in a highly risky scenario that could jeopardize both of your reputations, mainly Heejin’s) between two people who have longed for each other. But the plainness of that sounded unappealing to you; the enthralling fact about this was the complexity of the situation – the thrill behind the immorality of it and the sheer risk behind satisfying your own desires. As she gasped when your hands found purchase in her soft breasts, you wondered if she had the same thoughts running through your head as you (though from the looks of it, she was purely enjoying the sex and probably leaving her thoughts behind. Words fail in times like these – you’d be one to know).

Her voice is unsteady as she hissed through her teeth—harder. Fucking give it to me like I’m yours—to perversely request for more than what you were giving her. To see her this uncouth enthralled you to no end. With one hand on her left tit, you moved to secure her hair in a bunch in your other hand. Her hair was a little far from silky—no doubt from all the dye that it’d seen—but it provided friction for you to grip onto her strands with ease as you decreased the intervals between your thrusts. The sound of wet squelching began to permeate the stall, and it was starting to be accompanied by the soft sounds of skin slapping against skin as you struggled to control your desires to rail the girl before you. Thankfully, the cries of victory from the women outside masked the unsavoury sounds.

“Thank god!” one of them, presumably the one who had their contact lens stuck. You’d affectionately refer to them as ‘Eyes’. “I thought it’d be in there forever. Thanks guys.”

“No worries”, another chimed. It was the second voice you heard when all of them entered. She’d be ‘Two’. “Normally you could take this to Heejin. She’d get you fixed up in a flash.”

“Really?” the third asked. You’ll call her ‘Three’. “Do idols get their contacts stuck a lot?”

“Probably,” Eyes mused, “all that dancing on stage probably isn’t suited for glasses, and who knows what type of contacts their stylists have them on.”

Heejin catched your gaze. Struggling to control her breathing, she managed to confirm Eye’s statement—she’s… kinda right. Oh fuck…—before you pulled back firmly on her hair to shut her mouth. Don’t be mistaken: you loved her personality and all, but now really wasn’t the time for it to shine. For good measure, you sealed her lips with a kiss – sloppy and clumsy and hurried. You squeezed her breast a little harder.

“Where is she anyway?” Three asked. “I haven’t seen her since she left to go talk to that friend of hers…”

A tongue click of disapproval could be heard. You could imagine that it was followed by a tongue wave of dismissal from the way Two commented, “leave her be. She rarely gets to get out of her schedule. Probably trying to catch up with some old friends or something…”

There was a hum of agreement; Heejin moaned straight into your mouth as you captured her nipple between your fingers and squeezed. If the women outside knew how Heejin was ‘catching up’ with you, you didn’t know how they’d react to the sight of her being fucked raw in a bathroom stall meters away from them. You didn’t know how she was getting away with this, but you weren’t exactly complaining. If it wasn’t for understanding bridesmaids, you wouldn't be able to make a wet mess out of her. Maybe you’d thank them later, but you’d decide on that after you were done with Heejin.

“Was that the guy she was talking about the other day?” Two inquired. You had no idea what she looked like, and it scared you a little that she’d seen your face.

There was a moment of pause before Eyes quipped, “what guy?”

Silence followed Eyes’ question. For a second, you were worried that they’d all picked up on the lewd sounds of you fucking the very girl that they were speaking of. You held your breath, but you didn’t stop pumping your shaft between Heejin’s legs. She was almost like a lifeline – a slick and wet and oh-so-hot one that was keeping grounded in your senses while hooking to the sensation of the slick thrusts inside her pussy. Miracle drug… Or maybe just a drug – either way: Heejin was everything to you right now. Listening in on their conversation was just so that you wouldn’t be found during your few minutes in heaven.

“Nevermind. I think I wasn’t supposed to talk about that,” Two muttered. “Let’s get out of here before someone spikes our drink or something.”

They began discussing more mundane things, and you couldn’t care less about them because all that really mattered was the fact that their voices were fading away. You waited till you heard the sound of the creaky door closing to relinquish Heejin’s lips from your possession. She let out a gasp of air, followed by a desperate cry – loud and pleading now that she had the freedom to speak.

“I’m gonna fucking cum,” she hissed. It was almost a snarl really. “Cum with me. Please.”

She was lucky that you: a) had a really big soft spot for her and; b) knew better than to turn a nice girl down.

With a grunt, the hand on her breast shoots to her throat, gripping it tightly as you frantically fuck Heejin to catch up with her imminent orgasm. She was into it, reciprocating by accompanying your hand on her throat and squeezing even tighter. She lets strained cries tumble from her mouth—Oh yes baby… I’m yours. Oh fuck… Oh my fucking god… You’re gonna make me cum so hard—her wells squeezing tighter and tighter around you. Husky was her voice as she pleaded with you to take your liberties—Fucking cum anywhere you like. I just want to be yours—with her, and she was practically shaking in your grasp as you drove yourself closer and closer to the point of no return inside her wet tight walls. Everything – your heart and soul and whatever – pointed you towards making a huge mess out of the women in your arms, and you endeavoured to achieve that goal one way or another.

The tingling at the base of your cock was steadily growing up your shaft. Your thoughts blurred together, nullifying and cancelling each other out till all you could think of was her. With every pump into her, you told yourself that she was yours to take. With every sigh that left her lips, you thought about how many times she pictured this moment in her head. With each gasp and sigh and moan and cry, you fought the urge to hiss through your teeth—Heejin, I love you so much—and admit your feelings for her and how much you’ve missed her touch; tell her how no one made you feel like she could; let her know that for all these years, you’d longed to reconnect with her and sort things out once and for all. Sweet thoughts; perverse desires. The latter wins – all that comes out of your mouth is, “I’m gonna fucking cum.”

And it happened. A little quicker than you’d have liked but there was no way to control the course that the lust of man would take you down. Your cock pops out of Heejin’s heat, glistening with her slick wetness as you pump yourself to completion with your free hand. The hand on Heejin’s throat was pulled down to her crotch, and she used your fingers to rub the swollen nub of her clit as the first ropes of semen shot out and landed on her lower back. She came as the second rope landed on the swell of her left ass cheek, and her knees buckled as the third and fourth spurts hit the fabric of her tube top and the right side of her lower back respectively. You lost track of the rest of your load as Heejin leaned against you, quaking as her orgasm struck her in waves and your load continued to streak her back. It all was so fast. You wondered how either you managed to process your actions in the moment.

She panted against you, sweaty and spent as she closed her eyes and caught her breath. Your dick stayed flushed against the small of her back, slick with a mix of fluids from you and her. Your hand at her crotch slowly rubs circles into her clit, easing her off her peak and giving you something else to focus on other than how beautiful she looked. You feared that if you stared too long, you’d say something that you didn’t want her to know. The last thing you wanted was to have that moment of intimacy—facilitated by the afterglow of really good sex—to be ruined by some stupid feelings.

“Hey,” she whispered – all soft and tender as she opened her eyes to stare up at you. “That was fucking incredible.”

You managed a chuckle, restraining the urge to kiss her where she stood. She smiled, reached up to cup your cheek as you stared deep into her eyes. For a moment, the world went silent for you and her.

Then she pulled you down to her, kissed you where she stood. The position was a little awkward, your noses bumping each other at odd spots on your faces as she let the sweet nectar that was her lips grace your mouth in a soft and sweet kiss. It was like nothing you’d ever experienced, different from the kiss you’d given her in the midst of fucking her. It felt so right, so tender.

She released your lips with a soft smack, positively glowing as she gazed into your eyes for a little bit longer.

“Keep this between us,” she whispered, “I love you. I always have.”

***

You stared blankly at her. It was all you could do really.

“What part of this can’t you understand?” she asked. The anger behind her voice was potent, palpable. “I have a boyfriend. Stay away.”

In your hand, the note that you’d plan to hand her felt a little lighter than it had when you first approached. Wishful thinking had you delusional; there was no chance that she would ever go to that dance with you.

You thought that maybe the friendship could coax her into it – that maybe the years of what almost felt like kinship would drive her to just hear you out for a little bit; yet you seemed to forget that love is blind and can cloud your judgement.

In a moment, it felt like everything you’d built with her had turned to ashes.

***

“Indulge me Heejin. Bring me through your thought process.”

On the bed of your apartment, Heejin tosses her phone aside. Languidly, she flips onto her side, propping her head up with her hand as her elbow dents the pillow.

“I know,” she mutters, a little bit shamefully if you might add. “Dating another guy to make you jealous and confess is a classic fanfiction folly and all… But I was desperate.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You know that we could’ve just… talked, right?”

Her lips form a line. She sighs and lets her head flop back onto the pillow with a bit of a thump. To be very clear: you aren’t asking her all these questions to guilt trip her into an apology. You are genuinely curious to understand how she was thinking at the period in your lives. It’s a good point of reflection for the both of you considering you both screwed up in one way or another, and maybe even a good chance to offload some emotional baggage. You’ll admit – finding out that she’d dated the guy she was currently with just to get you to run to her and confess your love in highschool was a bit of a shocking discovery. It was foolish, yes… But you wondered why Heejin of all women would resort to such methods. She could be awfully blunt when she wanted to be, and somehow even more blunt when she was telling you that you looked like shit in skinny jeans. You never knew as one to shy away from a confrontation when necessary, and even though she could be a bit of a big dork, she was emotionally aware enough to understand that communication would easily have settled your feelings for each other.

Heejin rolls in the bed, moving close to you so that she can throw an arm around you as she asks, “you’re not mad right?”

“No. Just curious,” you tell her truthfully. She’s silent for a moment, then she looks you in the eyes and opens up: I always meant to talk to you about it. When I heard from Haesul that you liked me I… I was just ecstatic. You were everything I wanted in a man, and I really just wanted to make you mine. Believe me when I say that I wanted to just run to you after the school bell rang and tell you that I loved you too… and maybe ask you out on a date the next weekend.

Her thumb traces circles on your back. You can tell that she’s being sincere from the way she never shies from your gaze. She continues, “but as I’m running to your class down the hall… This guy comes up to me and just tells me that he’s been crushing on me for years and wants to date me. I want to tell him ‘no’ on the spot. I really did. But I see an opportunity to… I dunno… Spice things up a little.”

And you can guess the rest of the story, but you just want to hear her say it just to be sure. Sure enough, she tells you the exact line that you predicted out of her—one thing led to another and then… well, here we are—and you can’t help but chuckle. The whole thing is pretty damn foolish to be honest, and you recognise the fact that if you’d just acted a little less rashly, maybe you wouldn’t have had to go down the path that you did. It’s a folly of the past but it does bring some shame to your present.

“I’m sorry”—she surprises you with this one. You assumed that you guys are past the stage of reconciliation at this point. I mean… You did fuck in a bathroom before she texted you after the wedding she was attending, so it would be kinda right to just conclude that you guys pre-fired the make-up sex—“I was rash and stupid. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologising again?” you ask her, “I thought we were through with the sob ‘sorry’s and what-nots.”

“Just for good measure,” she whispers, a gleam in her eyes as she shifts around in your bed a little. “You can never be too careful when it comes to these types of things. Don’t want to make you an enemy again, do I?”

“That wouldn’t be too bad,” you reason, albeit playful rather than serious. She recognises that and scoffs as you continue, “they say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”

“So what I’m hearing is: you’d stay for the hate sex,” she fires back. You smile.

“Not quite… But somewhat.”

Heejin sighs and slaps your leg. You secretly like pissing her off a little, but she didn’t need to know.

“Now mister,” she says, hijacking the course of the conversation. “Indulge me and bring me through your thought process, and this isn’t about highschool by the way.”

She presses herself up against you, and you feel her hand slide down your torso and to your crotch.

“Tell me,” she whispers, a bit of smoky sultriness sneaking its way into her voice. “Why are you so fucking hard?”

It’s here that you realise that you’ve kinda walked into a trap. Not that what’s about to proceed is bad or anything, but it’s just that you’re a little disappointed that you hadn’t spotted this a little earlier. There were signs that you ignored when you saw her in your bed – namely the fact that she was wearing a see-through sleeveless dress that had a plunging neckline. If that wasn’t enough, she was blatantly playing with herself when you walked in, staring at her phone with this blanked out expression while her fingers worked between her thighs. If it weren’t for your questions about her relationship decisions, the two of you would probably have been naked and sweating in your bed right now.

“Can I guy not be excited by a pretty girl?” you’re not trying to play innocent, but you are seeing how far it can get you in this situation just for fun.

“Not this guy.” Heejin’s fingers snake around your cock, gripping it lightly through your pants. “And definitely not when it comes to this girl.”

You chuckle softly and catch her hand at your crotch. You pull it away and lean in to whisper into her ear, “don’t worry Heejin. I’m not ignoring the fact that you’re wearing the easiest thing for me to fuck you in.”

Her eyes brighten. “So you did notice…”

And the kiss that follows is far from tame really. You’re at fault for this one since you initiated it, but that knowledge doesn’t stop you from keeping your hands to yourself as you reach down and locate her pussy. Okay wait, you’re making it sound like it took you some effort to find it when you really only took about a second; it’s really easy considering that the panties she’s wearing were so sheer and thin that you could hardly consider it underwear. It was probably more like a concept of clothing than an actual, tangible thing. And her dress? The hem was a lot shorter than it looked. She probably hiked it up or something.

You’re unsurprised by the slick wetness of her cunt practically dripping out of her at this juncture. She’s probably been holding it in for a while now – suppressing all that lust and hunger to talk about feelings for some 30 minutes before she finally gets the chance to let loose on you. Hats off to her really: she had more control than you’d credit her for.

“Fuck baby,” you whisper, latheing your fingers in her juices by dipping them in between her undoubtedly flushed lips. “So wet for me already.”

“Wetter than I’ll ever be for him,” she sighs, almost breathlessly as she shuts her eyes to enjoy the sensation of your fingers getting familiar with her warm cunt. “You should—mmph… you should be grateful that I’m actually attracted to you.”

“I feel honoured.” you’re being genuine with her, but right now it comes off more as a sarcastic passing comment that leans towards the more tame side of dirty talk. Either way, anything you say would probably end with her putting your dick into one—or maybe all—of her holes and using it to her liking. Not that you’re complaining or anything, but it’s just the way the cookie crumbles. There’s no stopping Heejin’s desire, and there really isn’t a point to trying to stop it. You’d be missing out on, like, a lot. “Though, no pressure, I’d be more honoured if you actually did something about that attraction.”

She smiles, borderline sadistic and a bit more enthusiastic than you’re used to. Her hands are deft as she quickly undoes the knot that keeps your sweatpants around your waist, pulls it off eagerly and makes quick work of your boxers. Your cock springs free, hard and throbbing as she slides out of bed to discard her dress. In record time, she’s between your legs and stroking your shaft with patient strokes of her hand. The cheeky comments that you had beforehand quickly sank back down your chest – replaced by an earthy groan that only Heejin was capable of drawing out of you.

“You know… I was doing a bit of thinking,” she tells you.

“You do a lot of that.”

Heejin has no comments, only a cheeky little grin as she breathes warm air onto the tip of your cock. It makes you shudder, surging pleasure through your veins down to your bones. She’s oddly good at making you squirm, and you’re not too sure how to feel about that.

“Anyway,” she continues, unfazed by what she’d just done to you. “Before I was so rudely interrupted, I was about to suggest that maybe I could cross out one of my fantasies today.”

You’re no stranger to her wild thoughts that could probably fight that of Sabrina Carpenter. As you’d recently found out: fucking in a bathroom stall was one of many wild fantasies that she’d been wanting to cross out. Now that she had you, she’d been busy crossing more and more of them out. The whole infidelity thing was already a major part of her list considering the fact that she’s doing it with you instead of her ‘official’ partner, and things only get wilder from there. Sex with her can sometimes be like exposure therapy, not that you’ve done it before or anything.

“And which one are we ruling out today?” you inquire, watching with great interest as she produces her phone from below the mattress and swipes through it eagerly. You never saw her grab the damn thing, but you figured that you were probably too preoccupied with the sight of her undressing to take notice. By the way: the entire time that the two of you had been talking? Yeah, she’s been stroking you through all of that. One can only imagine how you were feeling at the moment.

When you saw her phone, you thought that she was going to open her notes app and start looking through her kinks or something. Nothing prepares you for the sound of a dial tone, and you can only watch as she lays the phone next to your thigh, just out of your reach.

“No prizes for guessing who I’m calling,” she grins, almost too innocently for your taste. “Try not to make too much noise okay?”

And before anything can be said, she slacks her jaw and draws you into the warm wet depths of her mouth.

The dial tone only continues as Heejin goes still – adjusting to your size and length and taste and shape and whatever she needs to configure herself to. Frankly: if she’d just started sucking you off with that tight seal around your cock, you would’ve been in perdition in mere seconds after she starts. So you give a small thanks to whoever’s watching over you from up above, and you pray that the person on the other end of the line doesn't pick up. While you utter that silent prayer, Heejin’s tongue introduces itself to your tip, sliding almost gracefully over the head of your cock as her phone rings for the nth time. Another ring; her tongue flattens itself against the base of your dick and melts itself to the surface. You grit your teeth, fearful that the moment you make a sound, the other party would pick up and hear it. She slides up in a fluid motion, almost perfectly seamless if she hadn’t gone too far up too fast. Your cock ends up hitting her in the chin, and she smiles as if it were some cute thing that she was taking care of.

“Heejin,” you grunt, keeping an eye on the phone screen in fear for both of your lives. “Let’s not—”

The caller chooses that moment to pick up, and this is where the game starts. Your lips shut so fast it feels almost automatic, and Heejin tears her eyes away from yours to focus on the other player of this perverse game.

“Hi baby,” she greets her ‘lover’, all sweet and cute like she isn’t pumping your saliva-slick shaft in her hand as she calls him a pet name. “I was missing you, so I called.”

“Oh… I’m kinda busy now.” he sounds highly uninterested in her, tone dull and dry as Heejin takes a moment to give your cock a squeeze. “Can you call me back another time?”

For a moment, you’re ecstatic. Maybe you wouldn’t have to be subject to her games this time.

“Quick chat. Promise,” Heejin fires back. She smiles wickedly, relishing the look on your face as you stare at her in a mix of shock and horror. “Just tell me about your day so far. It’s so hard to wait for you to get home to tell me about your day.”

There’s a moment of silence. Heejin takes advantage of the situation; she puts you back into her mouth and makes quick, sloppy work of your cock. The sound of slurping and gurgling is almost deafening, and there’s no way in hell that this man on the other side of the phone was not hearing all of this as Heejin blew you. You tilt your head back, clenching your teeth to prevent the guttural groan that’s building up deep within your chest from escaping your body. You’re hoping deep breaths of air can fill the space – block the desire to cry out in pleasure at the cusp of being translated into phonetics.

“Fine.” you’re almost grateful to hear that dull voice. “I’ve just been doing some filing and some paperwork… Nothing much really.”

“Mhm,” Heejin mumbles, your cock still in her mouth. She frees it for a second to deliver a line—that sounds like super important work babe—that’s definitely sarcastic in her head and in concept, but masterfully manipulated to sound sincere and enthusiastic. “Anything else?”

“Uh… No.”

Heejin seems almost too gleeful between your legs. “Great. I’ll give you a quick run-down of my day then.”

She proceeds to give him utter bullshit, lying through her teeth about lazing around in her dorm and eating yoghurt. All the while she’s lazily delivering firm pumps to your cock, the sound of her spit squelching in her own hand a little too loud for your liking. Then she starts twisting, and you feel as if all hell is breaking loose inside of you. Your throat is pricked with the sharp gasps that are fighting to be let out of your mouth, skin tingling with the effervescence of pleasure racing through just about every vein in your body. You’re certain you have a knuckle-white grip on your sheets as uses her thumb to rub against the underside of your slit while her other fingers pull the skin around your head tight to keep the sensitive part of you exposed to her impending assault.

“Oh, and by the way,” she adds, and you’re wondering what other lies she’s capable of generating right now. “I got a call from my old friend that I met at the club before the wedding… He says he wants to be my personal photographer.”

And now you’re shocked and stunned. What was a passing joke yesterday is now being used against you in a way that you can’t even fathom. Heejin revels in the silence—and all the emotions that could possibly be engendered by that single statement—as she smiles and licks you from base to tip. The layer of saliva around your cock thickens, and she uses that to get more aggressive with her motions. You didn’t know if she has limits to her cruelty, and you really hope that she’s reaching it soon.

“You know how I feel about that guy…” he begins.

“I know, I know… I’m just telling you to keep you in the know.”—her dismissal of his worries is quick and almost genuine if it weren’t for the fact that she was going against his wishes while she assuages his worries—”wouldn’t want to fight with you again, would I?”

He grunts in agreement. “Stay away from him baby. He’s bad company.”

“Yeah,” she hums, locking eyes with you as she hovers her mouth over your tip. She gives it a swipe of her tongue, smiling as you grimace under the pressure that shoots up from your crotch. “He’s such a bad guy…”

Not that you’re into this or anything, but hearing that drawl—sinful and sultry; raunchy and earthy—made your breath hitch a little. Sure, you’re no stranger to Heejin’s sensual side; but this was a bit of her that you had yet to experience. It felt like she’d dug up a new side to her, something unearthed and unaired, and you’ll be the only one to see it. She could take your breath away in many ways and you’d just found another.

The man on the other end grunts once more. With a gruff “Alright. I’ll text you later”, he hangs up on Heejin, leaving you free to let out the breath that you’d been holding in up till that point.

“Isn’t he a bundle of sunshine?” Heejin drops the facade almost instantly, using the hand that wasn’t occupied with your cock to retrieve her phone. “Five minutes and twenty-seven seconds… Huh. That’s longer than most of our calls.”

You can only pant and watch as she giggles and tosses her phone aside. She crawls back up the bed and takes your lips into hers, and you’d like to think that it’s a sweet apology for the hell she’d just put you through. Deep down you know it wasn’t, but you’re in the mood for some wishful thinking after what you went through.

“Not sure if I’m being greedy here,” Heejin whispers, “but I’d like you to indulge me just a little more…”

“I’d like to hear this one through first,” you quickly request, because no way in hell were you about to live through those 5 minutes and 27 seconds for a second time. “Can’t let you bite off more than you can chew.”

Heejin laughs, fully aware where this was coming from.

“Don’t worry. I think you’ll like this one,” she assures you, placing a hand on your chest for good measure. “Hand on my heart, honest-to-god: you’ll love this one as much as the next guy.”

You couldn’t help it. You had to check her – match her step for step.

“Considering that I just saw you lie through your teeth, I think it’s fair to say that I don’t quite trust you,” you tell her as plainly as you can. And it’s not that you actually don’t, but more so the fact that you’re just baiting her into saying something really raunchy that’ll rile the two of you up to no end. Depravity is the root of really good sex after all.

“I promise you,” her lips tilt at an angle as she smiles, “when we're done with this one, I’ll let you cum in my mouth.”

***

You figured that she’d come to you with the news at some point – tell you that he’d found her out and that things are gonna happen and blah blah. What you didn’t expect was for her to show up in the middle of the night to be a bearer of bad news.

“Went back to get a sweater that I’d forgotten,” Heejin’s explaining, a can of beer in her hand and fry in the other. “Open the door and next thing I know, the fucker’s blowing up on me in my face.”

She takes a swig and sighs. “Never liked him anyway… We fought more than we talked. Before you ask, make-up sex was horrible.”

You can only frown and nod in sympathy. You’re complicit in this whole ordeal and so don’t have much of a say in this thing. Guilty as charged, red-handed and whatever. You’re just glad that he didn't come over and beat you up like she said he would. Heejin downs the rest of the beer in the can in a gulp and gently places it on your table.

“Is anything gonna happen to you?” you can’t help but ask out of concern.

Her smile assures you a little, but her words don’t, “honestly? I don’t know. I’ll find out if my publicist gives me hell tomorrow.”

She rises from her seat. “I’m just glad it’s over,” she says. “Don’t know how much longer I could’ve lived with that dry son of a bitch.”

Her sweater comes off her body. She tosses it at you. In her T-shirt, she struts towards the bedroom, stops in the doorway. With a look over her shoulder, she beckons you to join her—come make my night, would ya?—before slipping into the room.

Always a dance with her.

***

You’re starting to question where Heejin draws the line between her sex life and her regular life.

(You’ve said this about a thousand times by now, but) Not that you’re carping or whatever, it’s just that sex on the kitchen counter while your instant noodles are clearly being overdone in the pot a few meters away is a bit of a safety hazard. You’re no chef, but bubble frothing out of a closed pot really isn’t a good sign.

“Heejin,” you say, struggling to fit her name between the ragged breaths and frantic thrusts.

“I know,” she rasps in reply. “Ngh… We can… Turn it off later. I’m so close.”

Pretty solid reasoning in your opinion.

How you got into this situation is a bit more complicated that you’d care to explain, but let’s just say that a late night snack can quickly turn into a literal fuck-fest when Jeon Heejin palmed the shape of your boner as you put a pack of instant noodles into a boiling pot. You didn’t know what came over you really, but after the noodles went in and the pot lid was closed, you had her propped up on the counter and her panties around her ankles. You can figure out how you got to this point.

Okay: to be fair to Heejin, you did kinda start this whole situation that might just put your lives on the line. You’re the perpetrator, criminal mastermind; yada-yada. But if you were to consider the technicalities, she did aggravate you to fuck her, and by so virtue of that you’re kinda both at fault. Does it make sense? Great, cause a situation where you’re both a little dirty minded makes for really great sex.

Great… Now you just explained the complicated situation. Eh, who’s exempt from a little contradiction now and then. Anyway… Where were you?

“Oh my fucking god.” she’s moaning a lot louder than usual, loud enough to probably convert her voice into some sort of energy for the homeless or something. Between her thighs lay a wet mess that was the source of all this crying and keening, and your juice slicked cock is the thing that’s driving her wild with ecstasy as she wraps her legs around your waist and pulls you deeper into each thrust with her legs. “Fuck me harder please. I need to cum all over your pretty cock so badly I–”

She barely has it in her to finish her sentence. Her plea is truncated by a sharp cry, and it would be pretty funny if it weren’t for the fact that it's probably one of the hottest things you’ve ever heard. The cry is almost delicate, fragile to the ear and almost like sweet music that plays in the dark. The keyword here is ‘almost’. Your description rings true, but the fact that she’s such a needy little bitch right now kind of ruins it. ‘Ruin’ is a little heavy handed; ‘taint’ would be a better word.

Yeah… Her want taints the beauty behind her desire… But only a little.

“I’m cumming”—Heejin’s practically whimpering at this rate. God you’d have quite the mess to clean up later—”I’m fucking cumming on your cock daddy I–Oh… Oh god oh fuck.”

“Fucking cum,” you hiss, saliva flying past your teeth and maybe onto her ear. “Be a good little slut and cum for me. Give me a nice and tight pussy to cum inside of.”

It feels weird, dirty even, referring to Heejin as a slut, but her reaction tells you she likes it. She loves being called your slut. You can see her mouth agape, tongue sticking out a little. She can barely keep her eyes open as the pleasure courses through her. Her nails dig into your back, and you think she might be drawing blood, but the pain doesn't matter right now. The only thing that matters is the sight before you.

She cums hard, and you know this because her walls clamp down on you like a vice. If you could, you would have taken a picture. The sight is just that amazing, but you're also preoccupied. The pressure is just right. The rhythmic pulsing of her walls against your throbbing cock is too much for you to take. Your hips stutter to a stop as you release a deep moan, and she gasps as she’s filled with rope after rope of hot cum.

When you finally come down from your high, Heejin is still panting heavily, eyes still squeezed shut, and legs still wrapped around your waist. You can't hold back the little smile that crosses your face as you watch her catch her breath. She looks so peaceful. It's hard to imagine her as a girl with the dirtiest mouth you've ever heard.

She peeks an eye open to see you staring.

“The pot dummy,” she reminds you, and the horrors of reality come crashing back all at once.

***

So you do find a little bit of a charm behind really soggy Buldak in the wee hours of the night. It’s not the best thing you’ve tasted, but it had its appeal. The sauce helped to mask the depression in the sad, close-to-slimy strands of dough in your bowls, though it didn’t stop you from experiencing a new texture that was severely overcooked noodles.

“Still think we could’ve left it in a little longer,” Heejin muses, staring at the limp noodle trapped between her chopsticks. “Maybe from there we could reverse-engineer the noodle and re-cook it.”

“Yea. And maybe we don’t fuck when there’s clearly a four minute limit to this stuff,” you add befor slurping up the last few spicy, sad and soggy strands in your bowl.

“Hey. I’m pretty sure the sex was good enough to offset this abomination,” she huffs, setting down her bowl next to yours. “Besides… We’re kinda both in the wrong this time. It’s not always just me you know?”

“Never said it was your fault.” you’re admiring the way her eyes glow in the dim light. At the right angle, it looked like the light was filling her pupils in the most adorable way. “You’re just inferring shit from a passing statement.”

“Wonder where I picked that up from…” she fired back, though it felt much more like she was conceding defeat than challenging further provocation. It was always a dance with her: unpredictable patterns in constant motion, and all you can do is follow her lead.

Maybe one day you’d find the time - make up for the dance you lost and dance with her for real.

Hi. Kinda posting here again because my therapist said that it was good for me to continue writing to regulate my emotions. This one is kinda messy and unedited cause I just wanted to get this out here for funsies. Anyway, I won't be posting as frequently as I used to, but I will drop by from time to time. No promises that I'm gonna be incredibly active and no promises that I won't disappear of the face of the earth again.

Cheers, Nichu

#kpop #fanfic #heejin #heejin smut #artms #artms heejin

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