#// a little long i hope you dont mind //
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
just-null · 2 months ago
Note
Wowie rly digging the yandere clone headcanons… how would each react if their darling tried to run away from them?!
You said tried so I assume this was a failed attempt!
Short answer: they get really upset and try making it your fault (shocker.) Ain't no way any of these mfs think they're the problem. Good news! you're mostly unharmed and alive.
This will just be purely writing bc i mostly had thoughts! sorry no drawing this time!!
[cw! mentions of potential harm to reader (no actual harm done), manipulation, toxic relationship dynamics (yandere flavor), obsessive behavior]
Sekido
You're always being hunted the moment the sun comes down and you don't return home in time. Reasons like that are exactly why he hates it when you part from him. 
This time is different.. he can't find you in your usual spots. There's no fucking way, right?
How could you.. No, how DARE you? Do you think that he's some joke? That his feelings for you are something that you can run away from like it's nothing? 
The second he's sure the sun won't harm him, he's already white knuckling his khakkhara, swinging at anything and everything in his path until he gets to you.
They know how to sense if you're near or not, hell, they probably know how your specific blood type smells like. 
Did you think cuddling up to you and memorizing every detail about you was for nothing? Don't be stupid. All he needs is a trace of you and he's gone in the blink of an eye.
You better enjoy running while you can because when he catches you, and he will, those legs of yours won't have much use after he's done with them. 
Sekido doesn't WANT to do this, but you honestly give him no choice. After he trusted you enough to stop looking over his shoulder, you do this? How can he ever put any faith in you again!?
On the bright(?) side, Sekido's rage wouldn't be solely on you, it'll ricochet onto everyone, especially the other clones and himself. 
They were supposed to be looking after you! But they can't do anything right, even a task as simple as this. 
And why did he think it was a good idea to trust them with something of big importance when all they do is fuck everything up!? Everyone's idiocy is rubbing off on him!
The entire time on his search for you, he's cursing and wanting to crush anything he can get his hands on, especially your bones. 
He doesn't even bother with speaking to the others, too busy spewing out all sorts of hurtful and frustrated comments about everything. 
The brutal thought that you’d rather run away than be with him isn't one he wants to entertain, but it's echoing in his head.
At least, once the other clones get there, Karaku and Aizetsu brawl with Sekido so you're unharmed while Urogi carries you overhead. 
Sekido's jealousy flares up when he sees you in Urogi's arms, making him even more pissed if that's even possible. Great, now he looks like the bad guy and the other three, the saviors. Fucking perfect.
There's a lot of yelling and a lot of blood, especially with Urogi making things so much more annoyingly difficult in the air. Karaku and Aizetsu aren't helping. Why is Sekido suddenly the problem?! You ran away!! 
But when he calms down enough, he's cursing at everyone through clenched teeth. Sometimes trying to convince the others that you don't even need your legs anyway!!
Once you get back home (or temporary prison until you somehow regain favor), Sekido will eye your legs while gripping his staff from time to time. 
Exactly why he's forbidden to be in a room alone with you for a while until he settles down..
He glares at you more often and grows colder than before. Arguments are more common where he twists your words just to have you talk with him and be angry within reason. 
Any other type of conversation makes him so irrationally upset that the others need to step in so that he doesn't lose his temper again.
Karaku
The calmest out of the group. He brushes it off as “you're playing hard to get” again, and if he makes a ruckus, you'll scamper back and beg him to stop like always!
Then it gets darker out.. and when Sekido left, he seemed pretty pissed. Like more than usual..... shit.
Karaku sprints after Sekido when it clicks that he's found you. His mind starts reeling, unsure whether he should laugh at the absurdity of your decisions or get pissed off because you didn't even bother to give a hint! 
Not like that would do anything aside from give you away but regardless!
Everyone needs to relax, this is obviously something they can sweep under the rug. This isn't that big of a deal and you're just having a fit, but things like these can get you hurt, y'know? 
They're fun and all, sure, just maybe give him a heads up next time, yeah? Sekido can't take a joke, you know this!!! Still.. There's a way Karaku can work with this.
He'll be able to swoop in, save you, be your hero, and remind you why staying with him is kinda important. Just in case you forgot~ 
You don't wanna be out and about without his charming grin and protective hold would you? Don't answer that right now, he has a feeling you'll say something wrong!
Yet.. what if you need a firmer hand to remind you of what Karaku provides? What if you got a little too comfortable being protected so you thought you'd be alright leaving them? Man, who knew you could be spoiled!
Because of this, he would purposely fumble, letting Sekido get near you just so he can stop him at the perfect moment. He purposely gets hit too and makes sure some blood gets near you. To remind you how that could've been yours.
When Sekido calms down, Karaku laughs in your face and would pinch your cheeks if you weren't up in the air with Urogi on the way home.
You should've seen your face! It was really cute~! Maybe getting scared is your thing? He'll note that for later.
He offhandedly advises you not to do things like that all the time, fighting Sekido always kinda sucks, but it's not like you actually had a chance of successfully running away so he won't chastise you too much for it. 
That's not his job, and his heart hasn’t pumped that fast in a long time.. not even in a fight! You're so amazing~~
And delusional if you think he's not going to milk this “heroism” thing back there for some extra affection points with you. 
Don't be so mean. he got his head blown off twice and jaw dislocated thrice, not to mention everywhere else on his body. Don't you think those parts of him need some extra loving? more than usual?
There's not that much Karaku can say after that aside from reminiscing like it was a funny story. He's not upset about it, mostly a little miffed you got kinda far without him noticing, but he gets over it. 
The usual routine starts back up for him when you're back home. It's like nothing happened, but he keeps a closer eye on you since everyone's so tense.
Urogi
If you're not home before the sun sets, Urogi's clawing at the walls with stress. He usually accompanies Sekido to go find you, but this time is different. Urogi could just barely tell you were around.. When Sekido bolts, Urogi's flying as fast as he can, trying to find you first. 
You're so far.. you must've gotten kidnapped!!!!!
The stress from before burns into anger, expecting to see someone having their hands on you while you're calling out in vain. How could he let this happen?! Damn sun! 
He darts through the skies even faster imagining it, and when he finally reaches you, you look.. fine? and alone. and looking at him like he's the danger. He's here to save you, dummy..
Urogi falls to his knees, burying his face against your stomach and finally wrapping his arms around you again. Your fists violently hit his head and yank fistfuls of hair back, but it doesn't phase him. 
Your comforting warmth is back, that's all that matters. And god, your smell.. it's almost making him dizzy. He missed you so much.
There's many holes to the story in Urogi's head as to why you're so far from home, but he fills them in with more convoluted delusions. It's just a peaceful reunion right now.. 
That is until Sekido finally arrives and starts swinging his khakkhara way too close to your fragile bones. 
Now he's back in defense mode where he scoops you up and tries flying out of reach. This is so stressful!!! There's lightning everywhere and he keeps having to dodge the multiple staffs thrown his way. 
He shields you with his wings as best he can while trying to stay in the air, so you don't get hurt during Sekido's outburst.
In the skies, it's much clearer to see the hurt behind the haunting glow of Urogi's eyes. Did you care about how he might feel? Did you miss him at all? Did you not feel loved enough? Did someone say something to you? 
As he maneuvers the sky, he holds you as tightly as possible, lightly digging his talons into your skin.
Being without you for a couple hours is agonizing enough on its own. If you HAD left him, abandoned, cold, alone.. he doesn't want to think about it. All that matters is that your kidnappers or liars or whatever influenced you are gone, and you're back safe with them!!! 
You.. you still like him, right? Of course you do, fate wouldn't force your paths together if it wasn't for a reason!
Coming back home is uncomfortably tense, especially with how violently Aizetsu kicked Urogi across the room, nearly through the wall, when he tried to lick your wounds clean. It really hurt! 
When you're patched up, Urogi is ten times as clingy if that's possible. He has his arms looped around you constantly so you can't stray too far, and if his hands are busy, he always has his wings!
As happy as he is that you're back, he can't help but cry into your chest sometimes. Everything is so tense nowadays, he hates it! How could you go and do something like that? Apologize immediately! Or at least hold him too? Doubt creeps in a lot, and your attitude isn't helping.. 
His mood swings are stronger. From sobbing uncontrollably into your clothes to being all smiles and radiating with joy the next just because you said something vaguely decent.
Aizetsu
The demotivation started to creep in the second you left. During the day, Aizetsu sits by the door, wanting to be the first one you properly greet. Sekido and Urogi usually bring you back and he'll be the one in your good graces without lifting a finger. That sounds nice.. 
But as the footsteps fade and the silence lingers, Aizetsu feels miserable the longer he waits... Hold on, silence?
Before he realizes what's happening, he's already dashing to where the familiar commotion is coming from. Dread sets in as his legs take him as fast as they can whilst being the slowest of the four. This doesn't feel like they're rushing over to you after a long day, it feels.. dangerous?
What did you get yourself into..? Why do you insist on going to places Aizetsu can't follow? Are you safe? He hates not knowing.
Usually you're the one who's fine. You deal with four demons almost daily! Please please please be okay. He can't fathom it if you were hurt. 
When he gets there, the puzzle pieces fall into place and Aizetsu gets even more depressed, but at least you're not hurt. Well, not if he interferes. His movements are sluggish, a perpetual frown plastered on his face as he tries holding Sekido down. 
Aizetsu wants to dissolve into the floor, and he does sometimes. Not wanting to fight Sekido off anymore, he slumps over. 
This could've been a regular day where you came home.. Are you serious? Leaving? How pitiful could you be to actually think you could get away? Or was it that you wanted to play some sick joke on them? Well, it's not very funny... It's terrible actually.
Aizetsu stays silent on the way home, walking with a bit more energy knowing you're near despite his heart ache.
You can feel the harrowing disappointment radiating off of him the moment you all go back home.
He's tired, annoyed, and so unbelievably upset. Aizetsu grimaced when Urogi got near your scratches with his tongue, so he “politely” ushered him away. 
Knowing a human's weak points is good in battle, but he started trying to learn how to heal them, specifically because he knew these types of things might happen.
As he cleans your scratches, he's actively scolding you for leaving in a cold emotionless tone. And by scolding, he's using manipulative language, trying to make you guilty for everything you did. 
He barely has the energy to live, but now that he finally found his light in the darkness, you want to leave? Is it so wrong he wants to hold onto what makes him even a smidgen happier than usual? He reminds you that he'll wither away without you, but he's not really too keen on dying just yet.
When he tries to get back into a routine, he just can't. He knows why you left, but he doesn't want to hear it. Even if you're sweet to him or not, he'll hold you from behind when you rest.
Looking at you is too much, but being away from you is even worse. Aizetsu compromises this way, but gets quieter, occasionally sniffling when he hides his face behind you.
There's too much going on and he's so tired.. If it weren't for the others, he probably would've held you so tight for so long so that you both would perish together.
Maybe that’s why he's only allowed to hold you when you're asleep. Just please don't do that again.. He NEEDS you. Please, please, please.
Safe to say you gave them a scare. When they double down on the protectiveness, living is ten times more difficult for EVERYBODY. when you lose their trust, it's pretty difficult to gain it back, but not impossible!!
Sekido and Urogi will always assume the worst if you're gone for too long while Karaku and Aizetsu give you a little more freedom until the others drag them along into their worries.
#null rot#yandere demon slayer#yandere kny#yandere kimetsu no yaiba#Sekido#Karaku#Urogi#Aizetsu#cloaked cult member#not art#null brainwash#IM NOT A WRITER!!!! JUST A REMINDER!!!!!!!!! JST A RAMBLER!!!!!!!!!!!!#i really couldn't think of anything drawing wise to go along with this.... but I really wanted to write for it even if I'm a bit amateur#Am I even doing this bullet thing right?? I'm not good at cohesive thoughts. but I try!! I hope I did this right..??#Also. Sekido honestly doesn't want to hurt you or even put his hands on you. he's just really scared you might something will happen to you#how the fuck is he going to live with himself if you somehow get eaten by another demon? or worse. used as bait from either demon or slayer#now that upper moon fucking four has a soft spot. its really selfish of you to run away..#don't you see how that can ruin everyone's lives including your own!? (manipulative)#why he gets more upset with any other type of convo at the end is bc it reminds him of how things were before. they were good.#but you had to ruin it didn't you? (manipulative ×2) and for sure for sure. if he holds your hand you're getting a bruise.#Karaku is hella chill bc he's wayyy too cocky that he can find you again. the little arrogance he has rearing its head again.#Hes not stupid. he knows you want to escape. but that means he has to whittle you down a little more. get you used to this. to them. to him#You can't escape. he won't let you. He belongs with you. so just try and get comfortable. yeah?#Urogi.. going through it. Hes like your ankle monitor. very fragile minded with his mood swings but extremely stubborn about letting you go#Hit him. pull at his hair. push him away. spit at him. hes sad for a while but bounces back. he always does! and he knows you will too!!#He just needs to wait.. even if it hurts his feelings sometimes. but never for long because you'll be back to loving him like before!#Aizetsu's stuck in a loop of angry -> sad until he ends up quietly crying because hes depressed you dont like them. eveything is pitiful.#he cant even move on bc youre his light. nothing will change that. even if you hurt him. all he can beg of you is to be kind to him. adjust#hes not the monsters you think he is. he can be sweet kind gentle. whatever you want.. just please.#null gospel
141 notes · View notes
okartichoke · 2 months ago
Note
Psst.... *slides this across table to you*
https://archiveofourown.org/works/61743991
[note from future me: HEY EVERYONE GO READ THIS FIC !!! :DDD]
I LITERALLY SQUEALLED WHEN I SAW THIS ASK YESTERDAY AND THEN HAVENT BEEN ALONE WITH FREE TIME UNTIL RIGHT NOW BUT OMG AM I EXCITED ! you're getting my live reactions now YIPPEE !!!
"In the laughing rivulets that filled his chest, it whispered maybe." I LOVE this sentence. This whole section is so vivid and MMMMMM
"He felt, and felt, and felt and there was barely even Phoenix anymore, just a haunted angry thing choking on feelings and moving on instinct." This quote isn't even half a page down from the last but there's genuinely already like a billion lines like this that are just spectacular; that with so few words move me so deeply
"She knelt beside the threadbare couch and took his hand, and begged him to get up. Said she’d be a better daughter... " OFIEJOIJWEFOEWA AND THAT'S NOT TO EVEN MENTION THE THE NEXT PARAGRAPH WITH TRUCY which actually made my eyes prick with tears
I really like the way you write Larry btw ! [edit from 30 minutes later me: i like how u write everyone actually x3,, fran and miles get special shoutouts too]
"—A voice in his dreams, it sounded like Mia" OFJEWOIAJFEOIFJDLFJOSJFELS
GUMSHOE IN A KNIT SCARF EEEEEKSKSSS SO CUTE
the little bit with everyone saying bye got me to chuckle xDD
OKAY CHAPTER 1 DONE!!!! CRYPTID.. CRYPTIID..... OMG... i knew this was going to be a good read but AHHH i loved it sm x333 you're dialogue is so fun. like the conversations feel real, and they go off on little tangents in really charming ways,, i really enjoyed the little moments like Maggey excitedly talking about being suspected a second time, or Phoenix holding the phone far from his ear during his call with Fran. (and that's just to name a couple examples) (ALSO FRAN CARING SO MUCH <333 I LOVE OMG) okokok onto chapter 2
wait oops i got sucked in and forgot to take live notes LOL,, anyways this comment is about the little reactions from Phoenix in regards to Miles' idiosyncracies,, specifically (in regards to MIles' grabbing his bicep) "That old habit. The Phoenix of a year ago would have ached at the sight. Current Phoenix just ached." and "Miles had gotten more expressive with his hands since his time away in Germany. Phoenix thought it suited him." I loved these inclusions so so so so much. it's like, despite everything, phoenix still cares so deeply. OH OH AND NOW PHOENIX LIGHTLY SCOLDING EDGEWORTH AGUHHH I LOVE !!! I LOVE !!
"'Yeah, you’re a pompous ruffly ass'" lmao
i guess i have a soft spot for phoenix and trucy's relationship bc woah here i am tearing up again at phoenix talking about her <333 you write him exactly how i imagine him <33
holy shit. the way you (or, Edgeworth, i guess) describes Wright's flavor of honesty? you've put his character into words so eloquently.. god i love him and i love you for writing him so good omg. and then the end of that short monologue hits like a truck aughghhhooooghhh
OH AND THEY'RE SO TENDER. HOW DARE THE CHAPTER END LIKE THAT BWAHAH FIOJOIAJDFJLSDKJFAOEIO AHH !!!
CRYPPTTIIDIDDDXDD AUUGHHHHHH !!!!! i need to stress again just how much i love your style of writing !!!!111! 1 the banter is so alive and the levity throughout (despite Phoenix's emotional state) makes the moments of tenderness and of the characters proving how deeply they care for each other hit so hard,, this was wonderful !!! thank you for sharing w the fandom and with me!! :DDD LOOKING FORWARD TO CHAPTER 3 FOAIWEJFLAKJD
11 notes · View notes
datastate · 5 months ago
Text
thank you scalpho for tagging me in wip wednesday!! apologies it took so long, but i appreciate it very much 🫶 i also have no idea how to do these bwehaha
Tumblr media
here is a sneak preview of the "deliver us from evil" prologue!
The sunrise is beautiful. Somber darkness bleeds through to reveal a mellow orange in the skies above. The frosted mountains peer down upon the sleeping city nestled in its valley. Its presence blends this newfound light with a gentle blue hue, finally bringing life to these muted layers of snow. How peaceful it seems. Each role is fulfilled with such grace, nearly untouched by human turmoil. The morning wind bites. Its teeth fiercely graze Kai’s cheeks. Every inhale aggravates his scarred throat, still sorely scraping against his lungs after sprinting to the Chidouin residence. Tending to the family within had allowed him a brief reprieve, but standing in the crisp air again lights the tender wicks aflame. Once the door behind him opens, a familiar stride hits the wooden patio and echoes through the hollow floor beneath—for as deliberate as it appears, Kai notes a slight weight upon the right leg. A hand suddenly meets his shoulder, and only then does he glance beside himself. Master Chidouin settles at his left side, finally resting his briefcase before the stairs. With his hand free, Hikari pulls out a cigarette pack and takes one for himself, offering another for his assistant. Shaking his head, Kai instead asks: “Is Atsuko ready?” “Just about,” and the words scarcely leave his lips when he ignites the lighter. “She’ll be alright,” Kai promises, tentatively raising his hand to rest upon his elder’s—firmly clasped upon his shoulder, as though he fears to lose his support. Ever slightly, Kai inclines his head Hikari’s direction. “In a half hour alone, she has regained her strength.” Hikari exhales, letting the smoke trail off in a bitter whisper. The acrid taste stings Kai’s tongue, though he quickly suppresses the rising cough. It disperses into the cold dawn, its source clear as the day to come: this is the second seizure Atsuko has had within four days, meaning they cannot hold off on their intended appointment with Asunaro any longer. It is only natural for Hikari to rely on this habit more than before, even if it betrays the unspoken worry eating away at him. The sight is a painful one, knowing aloud the most he’ll ever allow is: “I know.” Though the phrase exists as an effort to reassure, those few words plant an inexorable dread in Kai’s chest. Even so, when Hikari lets go of his hand to bring him into a half-hug, Kai finds it difficult to cling to anything but the warmth of his embrace. “Asunaro’s got it handled.” As if an ember has broken from his hearth, it burns upon Kai’s chest with abrupt guilt. His fists curl around the railing.
Tumblr media
i am evidently extremely normal about their interactions few and far between. one of the only chapters that hikari is still alive...
in any case! i'm tagging (no pressure) @its-captain-sir , @dyke-mecha , @corvidcrowned , @starrycluster , @logicroute , @room-of-lies , @strawberryjamsara , @riggedbones , @azurehaiku , @aforgottenballad , and @aueua if you'd like to! along with anyone else who wants to do this <3 (it'd probably be best to make your own post though, so this doesn't get too long :D)
13 notes · View notes
dolorousvale · 10 months ago
Text
❦ a reintroduction to shape and color
closed starter | @thomasicism
Perhaps Dolasach should’ve known better when she agreed to be play bodyguard for a rather… eccentric personality.
She wasn’t a stranger to world-renowned artist Rafayel’s odd quirks, or to his occasional apathy towards coming off as unreasonable. Whispers of those facets of his personality made rounds among her circles in university and never failed to be mentioned in his interviews—artists are stereotyped as strange and anti-social for a reason. Even in her brief encounters with him prior to the arrangement, she could already tell that he wasn’t an exception to the trope.
So why then, she asked herself, did I agree to be his bodyguard?
The answer echoed in her mind in the form of a coral stone and a dark blue envelope. She sighed and kept walking along the city sidewalk, paying little mind to the passing cars or passersby.
Almost as if in mockery, today’s weather brought a slight drizzle, too. The soft pitter-patter of the rain making contact with Dolasach’s umbrella did little to soothe her mood.
Nearing her destination, Flux Arts, she pulled out her phone and reviewed her conversation with her employer from last night.
Noisy Oarfish: im still saddened by the fact that my own bodyguard cant identify my work at a glance. if word gets out and youre called “incompetent,” ill be devastated
Noisy Oarfish: you need to improve your artistic sensitivity
Noisy Oarfish: tell you what. ill leave those forgeries at flux with the original and you need to tell me which one is the real one
Noisy Oarfish: but not only do you have to pick the correct painting, i need you to analyze. no point in this if you just get it right by guessing or asking thomas
Noisy Oarfish: think you can get it done by friday?
Me: Fine.
Something about the whole situation sparked such a deep annoyance in Dolasach that had her determined to get the assignment done as soon as possible. Rereading the messages rekindled that flame, and she felt all the more eager to get started as soon as she entered Flux Arts.
Thomas better be here.
The sudden shift from noisy city sidewalk to quiet white cube gallery made her feel a little too aware of how upset she was. After taking a moment to try and collect herself, she approached the receptionist.
“Excuse me.” Her tone was calm and even. “Is Thomas around? I’m here to run an errand for Rafayel.”
28 notes · View notes
kiddokori · 4 months ago
Text
guys i caught a mouse at work today
#i was walking the tech guy back because one of our printers broke#and i opened the door like yeah its right back he- thats a mouse. thats a mouse sitting in the middle of the room#he was very small and i think very confused/freaked out because he just let me. scoop him up. into my gentle loving arms#like he tried to run a little but he didn’t seem to really know where to go#so i was just on the floor like trying to get ahold of this very tiny very pathetic mouse without hurting it#while saying hey um. dont mind me printers right there with a mouse half in my hands#printer guy brought me over a little basket he found and i scooped mousie into the basket#and then i had a mouse in a basket. so i went back into the lobby and went Guys i have a Mouse in a Basket#and then my supervisor escorted me outside and we found a nice little tree with some shade and little plants to dump him at#except hed been scrambling up the basket the whole time and i think hes just accepted his fate to live there forever by then#because he would Not get out of the basket. i had to very very gently scooch him out#and yeah. maybe i pet the mouse. what do you want from me. he was very small and cute and very soft and rabbies isnt real and cant hurt me#he was so fucking cute. oh my god he was so cute. i hope he does well for himself#coworker was like ‘youre just gonna put him outside to be somethings lunch?’#and i said well. better he be lunch for someone than die in a gluetrap in some dark corner of the office#slightly more dignified way to go. benefits something. but i will be praying for a long and happy life for him regardless#every single time ive seen a mouse in my life ive immediately gone ‘oh im fucking Getting You’ <- lovingly and adoringly#so far im 2 for 5. 40% accuracy rate of Getting That Sucker#which i dont think is too bad considering mice are very small and quick and good at not being getted
9 notes · View notes
emmybeearts · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Request done for @choijesoo of their beautiful OC! 🪽
10 notes · View notes
fadewalking · 2 months ago
Text
If you are not a roleplay blog, and are following me, first of all—hello. You are welcome here, and ily (especially if we're mutuals, I'd kill for u), but i just don't wanna confuse or disappoint anyone. so just for clarity, this is just a wee reminder that if you like my "starter call" posts, that's a rp blog thing, and you're not gonna get anything out of that 😅 but I appreciate your enthusiasm!
Also! You ARE invited to participate and engage with Solas or any of my other characters here in an askblog fashion. Meaning you can slide into my inbox, anon or not, and ask questions or leave comments for any of them.
6 notes · View notes
asfdhgsdkjhgb · 13 days ago
Text
guys i need to be dancing at a house party tipsy with someone im attracted to so bad btw. ive never been to a house party in real life (though id quite like to at least once) but i really have been desperately needing that specific (probably awful for me) sensory and social environment so bad lately
#just me rambling again#i keep looking through ao3 to try to find smth with the exact vibe im looking for but cant :(( might have to grab hold of some old or some#half made ocs and write it myself idk. or just like. find a way to experience it irl#oh btw ! tmrw night slumber party w one of my friends who ive been wanting to hang out with more + also happens to be the one i recently go#to smooch on the mouth :3333#the stated purpose is ive been trying to get her to yap at me abt her biggest fandom / interest for ages and just explain all of the lore#and story and characters to me bc ive been wantign to hear abt it from her but we just havent had a good time#and also i cannot lie i hope that i can smooch them on the mouth again! theyre such a lovely person and so very pretty#ive been meaning to tumblr tag ramble abt that for a bit and forgot anyways i have straight up told them and also one of our other friends#that if they get invited to a party ever they should please please lpeaseeeeeee see if they can invite me along#my brain has a half assed hope at maybe getting the teen party experience (most likely not oging to happen for me but it is a real life#possibly grounding for little daydream of wants) bc a somewhat popular guy the year below me (guy i fancied when i was in the play fun fact#for any loyal frog lore enjoyers) put smth on his instagram story like if i throw a bday party is anyone interested ?? with like a story#poll and obviously i picked the affirmative bc i dont know him super well but he knows a lot of ppl i know and i did a cool photoshoot with#him once idk im hoping if its a big event i have a shot at going (as aforementioned--not going to happen in real life but a man can dream)#sigh i recently made a new playlist of the weird yearning ive got going on rn and the flavor of my minds niche longings#its a good playlist#idk ive been so nothing recently im just excited that i get to see my friends this weekend i get to hang out w some of my besties tmrw#through the day too im very excited#OH ALSO omg im just throwing every single diary update i have into one post now ig but erm#ive realized recently (last week or two) that i think im finally 'over' my most recent relationship?#like im still sad abt the fact that my high school best friend.. doesnt talk to me anymore#and im still coping with all of the nightmare insecurities i have deep in my mind being proven correct within the past however many months#but like i only just registered oh hell yeah at the very least i dont have like. romantic feelings of any sort still towards her? i do#love my wonderful ex gf shes such a lovely person and for a long time was an amazing friend to me#but it feels like a weight is off of my chest i straight up was sitting in the feeling of well i'll be missing her forever and i just have#to live like this forever oh well but like. no im chilling in that regard actually we're clear.#idk ive had like nothing going on lately i work and school and i think about my feelings SOMETIMES#i try not to generally but they always get in somehow you know how it is.
2 notes · View notes
bmpmp3 · 3 months ago
Text
(little bit of silence at the beginning because it wouldnt let me upload otherwise RIP) quick plug-and-play this-mix-is-ass-session-terminated type shoujo-a cover but (said in a hushed voice filled with wonderment and awe) soyogi........................................
(ust by Taketonbo)
#I MIGHT look for a different project file or edit it to work better with soyogis voice and cevios.. cevioness#but actually i do like this song with him a lot.... he does better with the fast parts than i expected#but i really love his sort of chesty long notes....... hmmmm.....#also i started like silencing his breaths (NORMAL THING TO SAY WHEN USING VOCAL SYNTHS) i started silencing his breaths in the volume#parameters for like the first half a verse but then i realized im plugging and playing this shit first actually so i gave up and just like.#loosely noisegated them. but man. i do wish cevio had better breath controls#the current situation is um. the voice breathes at every empty space. every single one. no matter how small#the only in engine solution from what i can tell is just manually turning down the volume for any pause where you dont want a breath#which is why every plug and play cover i post for a cevio/voisona voice sounds like they just ran into the studio LOL#(yeah maybe i only figured out what noise gates are like last week..... shhh.... shhhhhhhh)#because i did use that noise gate its not AS BAD but he does still sound a little like hes hyperventilating#which sometimes. especially for a song like this. might be what you want. but you dont really want the breaths on the glottal stops LOL#which is the biggest issue. i do hope someday they figure out a better way to do this. other engines dont breath until u tell them to#i dont mind the opposite situation but there is currently from what i know no way of making them hold their breath LOL#id love like. a phoneme that just cuts out all sound or something. a true 'sil' for cevio#theres xx which like has no phonemes. and an apostrophe does like devoicing shit to vowels i think? but they still like#gasp and wheeze over everything its so funny like soyogi ia tsudumi my friends....... ur breath control....#although can i judge? i cant really sing without getting a headache because i run out of breath too fast LOL
6 notes · View notes
girl-bateman · 1 year ago
Text
Exchange semester in the Netherlands???? Hello ???? Fall of 2024 ???? I got accepted ???
17 notes · View notes
waywardsalt · 1 year ago
Text
oh yeah i’ve got a bunch of loz aus that i haven’t really talked about. a few of them are listed and slightly explained in this poll and explanation reblog but i haven’t gone out of my way to actually list the aus i have and really explain them. so that’s what this post is for. here are some... decently simple explanations of my major aus and what they're generally about
i have two kinds of aus: original aus (loz aus that are set in their own kinds of worlds with their own stories and twists on character roles) and then crossover aus (we all know how this works i just mash loz and a thing i like together)
original aus: (many currently dont have actual titles, so the titles will often just be concept shorthand)
in the court of the crimson king/crimson king au: probably the most developed and closest to being written out. it's got one of the longer premises; set in a industrial-esque hyrule city, following linebeck as the main character, as the adoptive older brother of link and aryll, living with them and their grandmother as the only one able to reliably make money to pay for rent and food, leaving every other week to do jobs, but he moonlights as the 'demon of the gray moon', a masked persona he'd created as a child that had long since become a city-wide urban legend, anonymously taking unsavory jobs from whomever can contact him and offer pay, often working directly for bellum, a childhood friend, the one who enabled and trained him to become the demon, and one of five anonymous leaders of the city. linebeck effectively lives a double life, and tries to stay out of too much trouble to avoid drawing attention to himself or making his adoptive family worry, but he gets dragged into more and more danger as bellum becomes curious about the identities of the city's other leaders, and linebeck falls in love with a man named ganondorf, suspected to be one of those other city leaders. ive got a few posts related to it already: this one being another vague concept descriptor, this one being an actual scene i have written out.
'gimmick' au: i cannot explain the gimmick without spoiling the au. put simply, in this au, hyrule as a whole has been at war for ten years, every race and kingdom taking sides in a conflict that seems to be going nowhere. link joined the hylian army young, and has made his way up the ranks to become trusted by queen zelda herself, and things in the war take an interesting turn as he and zelda discover a new faction, unaligned with any particular kingdom and with unknown motives, and zelda decides to set out to the different parts of hyrule, link and a chosen group of trusted allies in tow, intending to try negotiation one more time before things take a turn for the worse.
sci-fi/space au: the fun one that probably would need to be done in a visual medium. it takes place in a solar system of a few planets, link growing up on the planet hyrule and occasionally traveling to the others as a knight specializing in investigating and taking down dangerous bounty hunters, working for zelda as a friend. he and zelda uncover a plot by the yiga clan to accumulate a number of highly dangerous research and weapons held by each species as they aim to resurrect a demon to wreck havoc on the solar system- the b plot being about the top bounty hunters in the solar system screwing around, eventually colliding with link and zelda's a plot as it begins to involve them.
murder mystery(?) au: one of the older ones, maybe one of the oldest that i still stick with. this might actually be one of the first ones i tried writing. the plot begins when zelda returns to hyrule city years after her father- the former mayor- was murdered, finding that he has been replaced by ganondorf and that while things seem fine enough on the surface, random and organized crime run the show, and she begins a private detective agency as 'sheik', a masked young man, and with the help of impa, and old friend and confidant, she moonlights as sheik and uses her daytime identity as zelda to help chip away at some of the city's biggest problems and finds herself drawn into a long string of murders that appear to be anything but random violence.
ruined hyrule 1: i have two au’s with the premise of hyrule being ruined. neither of them have more specific names yet. this one begins with the majority of greater hyrule's population having long since locked themselves in hyrule castle town in order to escape the increasingly dangerous wildlife. zelda, a young girl at the beginning, becomes curious about what lies beyond the city walls, and makes friends with many other children within this sheltered hyrule, and as they grow up together, aim to eventually venture out into the wilderness to see what may have caused the outside world to become so incredibly hostile.
ruined hyrule 2: the other ruined hyrule. set in a devastated hyrule, roughly ten years after the royal family was killed, link failing to save them or hyrule in the time since. he now resolves to set out and indiscriminately destroy every demon that plagues the ruined hyrule, meeting and bringing along various allies, each of which has been uniquely affected by and have different lived in this altered, dangerous shell of hyrule.
modern (school): i also have two modern aus. this one isn’t plot driven, just a concept i have, would work best as little vignettes or something. essentially just the idea of a group of loz characters hanging out together in a modern high school (or college?) setting.
modern: this is the one with an actual plot. follows the general idea of zelda characters living in a modern world only for the typical legends to begin resurfacing and heralding dark events. plot specifics are murky, but that's the general idea.
dark mage: this is the au that where the seas meet the sands takes place in. basically just ganondorf x linebeck shenanigans in this alternate hyrule while actual plot sneaks up on them. named 'dark mage' mostly because the initial idea behind this au was that linebeck would learn magic.
horror au: doesn't have the best name, and it's ended up just being a personal sandbox for me. constantly changing, with the cast and setting often altering if i find that something isn't working or sticking. it's an au i've considered (and even briefly tried) writing in the past, but it's still too fluid, and writing horror effectively is difficult. it's a fun au, though.
mecha au: spawned because i watched neon genesis evangelion. a lot of this au's basic concepts can be found here: x but the short version is that hyrule is being besiged by massive monsters, but each race has created their own mechs to combat them. link is just a farmer who happens to have a strange knack for being a mech user, so is brought in by zelda as a gamble to bolster their chances, and he is tasked with working with a new and less-than-trustworthy crew to help fight those monsters.
'amnesia link' au: an au that sprang up in about a day and hasn't gotten too far since. basic premise being that three years prior to the story, link and a group of allies has faced off against ganondorf and, despite their best efforts, lost, with link being presumed dead by their enemies. now, link has woken up from his coma, his memories gone and hyrule taken over, and, with guidance, must once again travel across hyrule, aiming to rediscover his allies and try to face ganondorf once more.
A quick list of crossovers: I won't explain these in length, since they can range from having their own plot to just being a fun mental concept. So, the things I have made crossover aus with are:
Warrior Cats
Batman
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure
Persona 5
Pokemon
(there are other, smaller ones, these are just the ones i consistently pay attention to)
So! These are the majority of my legend of zelda aus, some of which I may write, some of which just exist in my mind for fun, all of which I wouldn't mind talking more about if anyone is curious!
#i had to find an actual list i made to remember most of these tbh#salty’s loz aus#salty talks#lmk if any of the colored text on here is hard to read i can change it#for some of the duplicate name aus the colors help me remember which is which but ill change it if it makes it hard to read#this took absolute ages to finish partially bc i dont have much physical evidence of these aus. they live in my mind and my mind only#my favorite little tidbit is that in the space au linebeck is a bounty hunter known for being a really skilled sniper#and i did not. in fact. be inspired by sniper tf2. this au predates my knowing about tf2. space au linebeck is inspired by fuckin#ttgl yoko littner and sao (gags) sinon. this will always be funny to me. space au linebeck is probably one of my favorite au linebecks#fun fact also. counting the crossover aus linebeck plays an antagonistic role at some point in 10 of these aus#also anyways worth reminding that a lot of this shit isnt actually very developed. the murder mystery au does not have a lot of actual plot#most of the developed plot stuff in these aus tends to be directly connected to linebecks role in the story bc a lot of these aus happen to#exist bc one day i was like hm what if linebeck was in (hyperspecific situation that led to the creation of one of these aus)#gimmick au is a really good example of how a linebeck in xyz situation thought can spawn a huge fucking story#but i cant get too specific abt that without spoiling the fucking gimmick and ive already said too much#'dark mage' au is also called that bc i think it was REALLY inspired by me thinking abt linebeck in the fe awakening male dark mage outfit#this has been sitting in my drafts for. so long. and then in two days i slammed all of those out and bam. here we are#the crossover aus list is also a list of 'media that also gave me brainworms and therefore got the honor of meshing with the Big Interest'#im not even a big time batman fan i just saw the 2022 movie and scrolled through an entire blog dedicated to harvey dent#i know so fucking much about harvey dent. why is dc so fucking bad about him#anyways welcome to the bottom of the tags. hope you enjoyed your stay. these r my weird loz aus#post-ph isnt here cuz i dont consider it an au. its something else between ‘au’ and ‘speculative canon’
8 notes · View notes
party-pixie · 10 months ago
Note
yo, owner of daily demon spotlight here, what'd you think of smt v? i wanna have tempered expectations for when vengeance comes out, so i was curious how someone who played it felt about it. ty in advance! :)
hi!! overall i really liked smtv tbh, at least enough to keep playing to get every ending (and then see the vengeance reveal THE NIGHT I FINISHED MY LAST RUN 😭)
i'll try to keep it a little vague in case you don't want too many spoilers but......there's still some spoilers lmao i'm so sorry but i at least tried to leave out the huge details or not explicitly say them
in terms of gameplay, it's really fun!! it's pretty difficult at first (i played on hard mode my first run but i've read that normal and casual can be challenging too i guess esp if you're new to the series) but it gets easier as you progress. a lot of people seemed to have a problem with the level scaling, esp for the shiva battle since he's a lv96 superboss (optional really but required for the secret neutral ending) but the bosses in the very final dungeon are like......lv80-85. even the final boss is only like lv85 unless you're doing the secret neutral route then he's lv90 i think. i didn't really think much ab the level scaling until i saw other people talking ab it but.......yea i had HUGE problems with shiva, i had to max out the level of my whole team just to take him on, but then it turned the endgame bosses into a total joke. i had a hard time with some of the other bosses too, the ones i remember the most being hydra, nuwa, lahmu, surt, and vasuki but it might be different on lower difficulties. the magatsuhi gauge + the skills were fun to use but the one you get at the very beginning that just comes with being a nahobino is.........kinda the only one you really need a lot of the time since you can just crit everything when you use it. it didn't really make all of the other ones obsolete tho since some were really good for survival like buffs/healing, it's just that it was a little too easy to get away with using the critical one for most of the time
oh, the unique skills were a good addition too, a lot of them were super useful like idun's, demeter's, and danu's since they all had good healing + extra effects. a lot of the new demons were good too, i haven't used all of them but the ones that i did use either really saved my ass or i just enjoyed having them on my team. although, i'm pretty disappointed the last 3 bosses aren't fusible and i'm ESPECIALLY disappointed that lucifer isn't fusible considering he was in apocalypse. he has such a good design in this game i'm so upset i can't have him on my team 😭 oh yea, and demons being locked behind an alignment is a little annoying but i don't really mind it much????? idk i feel like it gives the game a little more replay value, so i don't mind as long as it's not overly difficult to get. danu. inanna. and maria being locked behind certain alignments and ALSO being locked behind 70% compendium completion was a little annoying, but if you've got the macca to burn you can just summon directly from the compendium for new fusions until you get 70%, so it's not overly difficult to do. maybe a little tedious. i also liked the essence mechanic, but getting them was SUCH a pain since there isn't really any consistent way to farm them except for the aogami essences which are a little easier to get. i prefer the demon whisper from iv/a tbh but essences makes it easier to get certain skills on demons without having to do fusion gymnastics to get the perfect build
another thing is that there were only two real dungeons since the open areas were kinda supposed to serve as dungeons to a certain degree, but those two dungeons were........pretty underwhelming. the first one was really annoying cus it had a fan mechanic that would blow you to certain areas around the rooms and you kinda had to be careful with the timing on certain ones. it wasn't overly difficult to get around, it's just the fans that were a pain. the second dungeon was also the second to last area you go thru in the whole game and the setup was so ridiculous??????? like, it had a ton of long hallways and dead ends which is kinda to be expected but when you see a pic of the whole map for each section it's like "who the hell designed this?!" it's not even difficult to get thru, it's actually SUPER easy even with the time stopping doors gimmick which you can just......ignore entirely and the only consequence is losing out on some treasure. the layout is just weird and chaotic and seems like it might've been rushed cus it's also pretty empty, tbh both dungeons are
for the game's story..........oh god. it's pretty clear it was really rushed cus it was super underbaked. i didn't hate it, i actually liked the beginning a lot! but it falls off really bad after the second lahmu fight imo and the pacing just ends up all messed up. like the second lahmu fight feels like you're still early in the story but it's more like closer to midgame. and after finishing each major area, you end up going back to tokyo and having a meeting with your friends and director koshimizu at the research center, so all of those cutscenes look more or less the exact same since it's always in the same room and even the placement of the characters is almost the same. i've seen some people complain ab the lack of world building and while i don't think it has as much as iv/a did, a lot of the world building just ends up coming from talking to npcs and doing side quests instead of the main story. idk if that's good writing/design really but it's how the game ended up. there's also a few parts where they seem to be building up to something really big, but then the thing they were building up to ends up being mostly underwhelming. like the part where you meet yuzuru in da'at in front of the broken train, it feels like something is ab to happen, like a demon is gonna ambush them or they're gonna run into another friend like dazai, but then the convo ends and nothing happens. but it feels like something should've happened! and the pandemonic summit should've happened a lot earlier imo, idk i just feel like the placement of it is off cus after the summit, you're in the last main area and the end of the game is basically right around the corner. as long as you can beat the shit out of odin, zeus, and vasuki, you can get to the end relatively quickly, but it feels like more should've happened between the summit and the end of the game
i really liked a lot of the side quests tho! i think the khonsu one was my favorite and i wish he and miyazu didn't get sidelined so badly 😔 but the gameplay was really what kept me coming back for ng+ so many times tbh
the characters are all severely underdeveloped too, the only character that gets much at all is dazai tbh. yuzuru is off doing his own thing for a huge majority of the story and his sister miyazu is completely useless, getting minimized to being the chronically ill girl who just hangs out in the fairy forest the entire time. she get sidelined so badly which was so sad to me cus i ended up loving her, esp after the khonsu quest. sahori could've been given a little more, i wish she had a bigger role or something. tao also could've been expanded on a lot more especially considering her role in the grand scheme of things. even aogami doesn't get much of a backstory but it seems like they meant to try and touch on that but couldn't cus of time constraints. dazai is the only one that gets much of an arc at all, and it's decently interesting. i get that they might've wanted to try to do what nocturne did where you almost immediately split off from your friends and only meet intermittently, so their development happens offscreen, but i don't think this game did that very well. it also doesn't help that the world of v is so much more whimsical compared to nocturne
and oh god the ending...... i thought the cutscene where you finally ascend to the throne was beautiful so i don't necessarily hate it, but the way they tied the ending in with everything else was so obviously rushed and not well done. if you've played any of the other mainline games (mostly nocturne and iv/a are my frame of reference since i haven't played i or ii and haven't finished strange journey redux yet) it's really different in a way that i didn't really like. after you beat the final boss, the cutscene where you'd see or at least get an idea of the kind of world you created is so.....disappointing a little bit???? i won't spoil the endings for the other games in case you haven't played them, but the gist of them is that you're with your respective alignment rep and they're talking to you. but in v it's just.....you're getting narrated at by some guy! the whole thing is kinda just an info dump of how the new world turned out instead of getting to infer from the conversation with the alignment rep you sided with! like, really?? it would've been nice to see how the alignment reps felt about the new world at least
i was treating this as kinda a spoiler but tbh if you've played any other mainline game you can kinda expect lucifer to be the final boss or an endgame boss, but they basically used him as a huge infodump at the end?????? if you do the secret neutral ending he starts talking sometimes mid-battle about stuff about the universe that was never mentioned earlier in the story???? like, he talks about how the universe is doomed to reincarnate (which i know is par for the course in smt but still....) and that you have to kill him to break the cycle, but nobody else really mentioned that during the story. and i guess you could suspend your disbelief and say only he knows about it since he consumed the knowledge of the creator so of course none of the other characters would know, but that whole thing just felt really random, like the devs suddenly remembered that smt is supposed to have themes of reincarnation so they threw that in at the end. i don't think he mentions any of this in the other endings, and you don't even fight him in the normal neutral ending! and then after you kill him and see the cutscene about the new world, you find out in the post credits cutscene that none of that shit even worked!! so what the hell was all that for!?!!?!? i get that smt always has huge nihilist themes so the whole "you just did all of that for absolutely nothing cus we're doomed to reincarnate forever" thing isn't out of left field, but man seeing that post credits cutscene REALLY made it feel like i just did all that for absolutely fuckin' NOTHING. i'm kinda conflicted about it honestly, cus it was an interesting twist! i was surprised by it and the way they revealed it was really cool! but it also felt like it just diminished all of the world building lucifer just dumped onto us literally 10mins prior
the requirements for the secret neutral ending also felt really weird cus you're supposed to help all of these demons and it's basically showing you that even the demons aren't completely evil, but then the ending for that route is just "nah fuck all of them, this world is only for humans" and i just don't think it was a very good writing choice. the requirements make you feel like maybe there IS a solution for all of this conflict and maybe there is some kind of way to coexist with demons in a positive way, but then you see the ending and it's like oh......nvm then. maybe it turned out that way cus of time contraints, i don't know. i pretty strongly believe the secret neutral ending was meant to be a route centering around miyazu and khonsu considering the requirements to get it, but then the time constraints made atlus have to dump khonsu and miyazu off into a side quest and shift things around
overall, i'd say it was a good game! the gameplay is a lot more compelling than the story, but the problems with the story really only become glaringly obvious if you play it 4 times over like i did lmao. i've seen some people ask if they should play the game or wait for vengeance, or say that they got the game to play while waiting for vengeance to release and tbh.......i don't think it's all that worth it, if i didn't have the game already i'd just be waiting for vengeance since the story of the original game is still gonna be available, it'll just be a different path entirely. plus vengeance is supposed to have a lot of improvements both storywise and gameplay wise, so i feel like it's better to just wait. i'm really looking forward to it tho, i've been loosely following the trailers/news and it looks like miyazu will have more of a role and they've added a lot of cool gameplay mechanics 🥰
i wasn't expecting this to be so long, but i feel like there's a lot to say about the game even if it seems like there isn't. i just really liked the game despite all its problems and it's in really close second as my favorite after iv, so the release of vengeance makes me wonder if it'll top iv as my favorite. thanks for giving me a chance to word vomit ab it lol
2 notes · View notes
birdricks · 1 year ago
Text
they rlly r being super heavy handed w the messages this season huh 😭
6 notes · View notes
lucky-draws · 2 years ago
Text
i feel like im worrying too much about trying to do serious art right now. maybe we are in need of a spontaneous little where's ocie type of challenge on here...
6 notes · View notes
inmirova · 4 months ago
Text
"it's easier to leave an abusive situation than it is to stop an abuser" :^( but it's not easy :^(
#repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns#im not unsafe btw just. :^) scared :^)#tired.#starting to stop walking on eggshells kind of. in a cowardly way. like responding some of my real thoughts but at 4am#i want to scream. im not like that but i want to yell and tell her to leave me alone forever and i just want to be able to rest !#and to not be afraid. i want to move. i want to drop off the face of the earth. i want to go to bed. i want to stay awake and on guard.#idk. im tired. im so tired and i want it to stop. it's not even a big deal.#the thinly veiled insults bother me more than anything else. insult sandwich on compliment bread.#im so pretty im so stupid im so funny. im smart im too insecure im beautiful. im the most interesting person she knows im evil im talented#it's not even the worst thing it just pisses me off so much. do you think this is helpful to say? do you think this is normal?#do you think you'll get what you want insulting and belittling me as long as you tell me you think im attractive?#it's always how pretty i am. like some superficial bullshit is going to make up for an insult or make the insult disappear#and everyone else gets to leave but if i leave she'll die and it'll be all my fault and this is just like x y or z#and didnt i know she almost experienced trauma as a child but didnt? and how that effects her?#fuck. i hope she sees this tbh. how fucking insulting to see something someone's experienced and say that couldve maybe happened to me#but the person who couldve done it lives in another country and never came here.#what the fuck. what the fuck.#so it didnt happen to you? you cant lay claim to it at all? yet you think you understand me or that even if it did happen it's all the same#im going to lose my mind. im so. fucking. over it. but im a coward and i dont want her to die so ill grin and bear it.#and she'll tear out all my skin and ask if it's a little too much and ill say it's fine and she'll say im so gorgeous but i'm disgusting#but at least im kind. and ill say okay. because if i say anything else it's a threat on her fucking life.#tbh im only posting this now bc i know no one will likely read it. perpetual coward when it comes to this shit#because if i tell someone the full extent they'll ask why i didn't leave sooner. but i did!#i left and i got bombarded and overwhelmed and i was so tired of being scared of running into her everywhere#and i just. eased back in. and said it would be less this time. and it is so much more. it is so much worse.#ive lived in that fear before and i was so tired of it. it was a big reason i moved so far for college. and i cant just run away#so this seemed better. but it's so much worse. id rather hide every day of my life. keep an eye out everywhere and run away.#it wasnt so bad really. it was tedious and nauseating and i only ever explained it to one person. but it wasnt impossible.#this is much closer to impossible. this is soul crushing every day. and the things she does arent even as bad i dont think#it just doesnt stop. at least in high school i eventually got it to stop. i just had to be avoidant. this. wont stop.
1 note · View note
gu6chan · 4 months ago
Text
ohhhh wait i just remembered my older half-sisters are in direct range of hurricane milton what the fuck
#gu6chan's musings#its been years since ive last spoke to them and i've only ever seen them once or twice so they tend not to cross my mind often... but#im honestly worried for them :( i hope they'll be okay but they are in DIRECT fucking line of it and i just found out one is living in her#fucking car with my 8 y/o niece. it sounds so nihilistic but i feel like they arent going to make it and i feel a little sick??? i think???#typically i can handle reports of natural disasters like this but man... milton is gonna be so fucking bad i actually don't think i can#stomach this between what i've already seen in regards to gaza for years and then helene wiping out entire villages two weeks ago#like a small chunk of relatives on my fathers side passed away which SUCKS but i hardly knew them myself#and even if it is similar with my older sisters i still DO remember them from my childhood; you know?#and it's been good to reflect on that sort of privilege i only REALLY can comprehend the depths of that im just now legitimately fearing#for the lives of someone close(ish) to me. but on one hand they're barely part of my life; on the other they've barely been part of my life#i haven't seen my niece since she was a baby man#ehhh... this got unexpectedly emotional and i apologise 😭 long story short i dont know what will happen if i find out something's happened#to them :( r/offmychest??? lmao#i'll see how far I can get with TL before going to bed though; hopefully that will help!! again; apologies for the emotional post if you se#these tags lmao
1 note · View note