#// HOLD ON WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES NO PUNCHLINE

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

DAVE: woah since when do you two hang out

JOHN: oh, hi dave! i got bored after watching through my collection of old movies from our timeline’s earth for the hundredth time, and when i mentioned that to jake, he said that dirk might have versions of those movies from his timeline’s earth saved somewhere. so i have been convincing dirk to watch stuff with me for the past few weeks.

DIRK: I’ve convinced him to watch anime with me in compensation for making me sit through so many Nic Cage flicks. I’m thinking that I should probably start with Dragon Ball or something instead of Boku no Pico like I did with Jake, though.

[snakeningel]

not to be starting homestuck race disk horse in 2019 but yknow what? I Will.

being an asian fan in the hs fandom is kinda, not great actually. in fact, it not only feels like we’re not here at all, that we’re erased, but its honestly? downright harmful. people treat the trivialization and fetishization of your culture to be,,, like a Big Joak. yall joke about weebs like these people havent been literally grooming and abusing asian girls, like we havent been made fun of enough for Their actions, like we aren't already viewed as the strange punchlines to jokes that still seem somehow acceptable. its somehow funny to joke about how you hate every sign of asian culture that shows up throughout the comics, like how dirk’s kotatsu was dumb and pretentious as if people in japan dont literally live with one and use it every single day!

even asian-coding in characters get swept away in favour of other headcanons. even the megidos, who are as close to canonically asian as they possibly can be in a medium like homestuck, are often drawn white or something completely different altogether. the stridlondes are also heavily asian-coded, and the fans who do pick up on that, who finally feel comforted by someone like them as protagonists? they often just.. give up on that, because they see so little representation in the fandom. (theres only like one popular artist i know of that draws the strilondes asian? but like, hats off to u pal, youre fighting the good fight). also, it seems strange, to be represented so little considering almost 3 billion people on earth is asian, which is, Quite A Lot to be not represented a lot. dont get me wrong, i adore the outpouring of more diverse art of the kids, but a hard truth to swallow is that pocs being weebs/fetishizing asian culture, is just as harmful as white people doing the same. there is a world of difference between japanese dirk, trying to interface with his lost culture by clinging to the most performative and popular parts of it, than another dirk, appropriating people’s cultures because he thinks its funny or interesting based off a show he watched once. i love how people are like "wow the striders like anime and care about traditions and use japanese words and overall just seem like diaspora kids" and the conclusion they draw from that is "clearly,, they cannot be asian" bc a non-asian person being interested in those things is better than an asian person whose interested in their own culture i guess??

in fact, a lot of these narratives are so much more interesting once theyre looked at through their coded lenses!

Dave’s struggle with coming to terms with his emotions strikes such an interesting chord when the striders’ concept of irony and never showing their emotions Correspond so well to the idea of honour/face, where youre not supposed to show that youre Ever Sad or anything that isnt a positive emotion because it shows that youre a Failure and You Failed and that makes you a Bad Person, which is exactly what dave struggles with because hes So Guilty about it, which ties to the guilt and shame a lot of asian people feel about not being able to live up to impossible standards set by their parents, which is another theme we see reflected in all four strilondes. 

rose’s strained relations with her mother are mirrored in so many of our second-generation lives and makes so much more cultural sense when looked at that way. the weird distance you hold from your parents, where you cant look each other in the eyes anymore, because every interaction feels more like a business transaction. you hand in your good grades and praise from teachers, talking about how mature you are, and they return with some present or gift that you don't really want. you dont know anything about them, and they dont know anything about you, Not the person you Actually Are, anyways. but there is a yearning, to be close, to know eachother, but you only feel it in return when its too late. as well as her Obsession to be mature, to be smart and adult-like because thats what shes praised for, because you Need to be academically the best always and that means reading dictionaries until the sun goes down, repeating each word until they are engraved into your mind. always finding competition, subtle or not, because if you are not the winner, what are you?  dirk’s wild performative love of japanese culture (which also, in turn, lead to non-asian fans literally trashing it like it was a funny joke to call someone’s culture lame and stupid) seems like ‘ironic’ weebism, but its also being Exactly the type of over-the-too performative reclaiming of our culture that so many asian diaspora kids do when they’re teens! they feel bad about pushing away their culture as youth, but they’re not quite mature enough to actually care about the rich history and ‘boring’ parts, so they cling to pop culture, to social media and something so much more easily consumable, like anime. which is not even to mention the idea of him trying desperately to connect to a culture that he has never grown up in, but still belonged to by consuming mass amounts of media, being Such an immigrant story. as well as his massive competitive streak and need to make other people as good as he is (but not better), is the type of internalized pressure that a lot of asian kids feel as well. 

and all the stridlondes have various anxieties about not performing well enough, of not living up to a standard that they have set for themselves, feeling like even a single step back or even one mistake is a catastrophic failure that’s branded to you for life. Which is just as much of a mental health thing as it is like,,, an asian thing

this is getting really long so im cutting myself off here but please if you want to hear more about my Thoughts and Hot Takes feel free to shoot me an ask. 

in conclusion: please treat asian people better hs fandom i literally beg you. like,, im Not tryna make waves but,, asian erasure in fandom is a huge issue and no one ever talks abt it!! dont trivialize, fetishize and erase cultures blease  big thanks to @ernikerr and @wyndryga for encouraging me to go Off and helping to write this.

anyone please feel free to rb but non-asian people please watch your mouth

[bidaryl]

that time i was like hey au where daryl gets sent back to the start of the apocalypse hehe but then i was like fuck! what IF!!!! and got emo thinking about it realistically and started writing it :(

He wakes up when it’s just him and Merle on the road.

He went to bed the night before, so incredibly fucking tired. After everything that had gone down those past few months - Beta being alive; the trek back to Alexandria; answering people’s questions about the future; fuckin’ Negan; Lydia not trusting nobody, including him; whatever shit Carol was going through - he was fucking wiped. Asskicker had managed to convince him to take her outside the walls, asked him to teach her how to hunt, how to track. They’d spent hours out there after first light, him showing her some of the basic stuff; how to tell apart different tracks, how to set quick effective traps, other small things. She told him ‘bout Michonne leaving. Daryl had a few thoughts about that, but Jude already looked like she was one bad feeling away from crying, so he shifted focus and changed the subject. She’d picked up tracking quickly, almost quicker than Beth had. Had turned to him at one point of the day after they’d stopped to have lunch, begging to stay outside for a few more hours. Wanting to practice more. He wasn’t exactly a seasoned pro at saying no to her, he had a bad habit of giving in quickly to most of the kids he knew, but the Whisperer’s group was still at large - Beta and his followers were still out there - and after a few promises and compromises, he’d convinced her to come back inside the gates. Told her he’d let her take the lead the next time they came out, warning her it couldn’t be the next day, reasoning he had things he had to do back home, but promised her they could come back out soon. After they’d walked back inside the walls, he made a small appearance at dinner, checked in with the people on guard duty, then headed to the Grimes’ house. Fell onto his bed without even taking his shoes off and crashed. Next thing he knew, he was waking up to a rough kick to the legs and Merle’s cheery voice.

“Wasting daylight, Darleena, c’mon, chop chop, let’s go!” - he claps his hands - “time to wake the fuck up.” Merle adds another kick for good measure before walking off. Daryl pushes up onto his elbows, looking around and trying to get a grasp of where they are and what time it is, before giving up almost immediately when his brain catches up and realises if Merle’s here, he’s dreaming. Or hallucinating. Either way, this ain’t real. He sits up slowly before thinking - fuck it. Might as well see his brother while he’s around. He makes a move and gets up, grabs his jacket from where it was being used as a makeshift pillow, and heads outside. The area looks vaguely familiar but also like every wood Merle and him have ever camped in, so he continues walking over to where Merle’s standing before sitting down and grabbing the spoon and can his brother left out for him.

“No biters so far, but we should keep movin’, get ahead of the ones travellin’ out from the city,” Merle starts, nods his head to his pile stuff that’s already packed up, and stands, stomping out the small fire he had going. “This spot’s gonna be overrun before we can blink. We gotta move out.” Merle wanders off beyond the tree line, muttering something about taking a piss, yelling a “Hurry up and pack your shit!” over his shoulder before disappearing. Daryl nods to himself, quickly shovels what’s left of the can in his mouth and scans the area to figure out what stuff there’s still left to pack. Thinks to himself that it’s a stupid ass dream he’s having, Merle bossin’ him around and making him clean up. Makes him feel like he’s 4 years old again, doin’ Merle’s chores for him.

By the time Merle walks back over, Daryl’s got the tent and sleeping bag all folded up and put together, his bow leaning against the his bike, bag packed and ready to go.

“We good?” Merle asked, grabbing his own collection of things and walking over, standing next to his own ride.

Daryl does one last sweep before nodding and asks which way they’re going as he mounts his bike.

Merle gives him a look, “The fuck you mean, ‘Which way we goin’?’ done told ya, we been over this five times already.” He shakes his head before climbing his bike, starts the engine and rides out. Daryl shrugs and follows. Dream Merle’s as temperamental as real life Merle. Daryl can roll with that.

They ride for the rest of the day, taking mainly back roads and hidden trails they only know about cause they grew up round these parts, avoiding highways as much as possible, still only making it barely 2 hours from where they first started that morning. Daryl follows while Merle leads, stopping twice to try find some gas. He spends the first hour or so feeling guilty, feeling like actual fucking shit, watching Merle zip around abandoned cars, using signals to direct him, wondering how Merle got so faded in his memory. Turns out theres nothing like having the ghost of his dead brother right in front of him to make him realise how many small details Daryl’s forgot about him, how much his memory’s erased him over time. 

He spends the rest of the day taking everything in, getting familiar again. Merle’s about as loud and annoying and chatty and demanding as Daryl remembers. Still a pain in the ass, but Daryl forgot about the way Merle told his stories; not just with words, but with his hands, his face. Forgot about how it was Merle who taught him how to ride. How no matter how good Daryl gets on his bike, how many little tricks he learns, how many rides he fixes; he’s always just gonna be second best to Merle. For a second, he wonders why he’s dreaming about this specific part of his life, but figures this isn’t exactly the first time he’s dreamt of Merle, and it’s probably not gonna be the last. Takes a moment to consider whether or not there’s a reason to be dreaming this vividly - a head injuries or an attack. Think’s to himself - maybe he’s dead and his afterlife is just him and Merle, riding around together on their bikes. Rolls his shoulders and jerks his head, tells himself he’s not fucking dead.

Merle’s up ahead, ranting about some shit Daryl wasn’t there for and hollering at his own punchline. Daryl kinda wants to tell him to shut the fuck up but can’t bring himself to say it. He hasn’t heard Merle’s voice outside of his dreams and hallucinations for almost 9 years. It always shakes him up, how much he misses him. Decides if this is a dream, he ain’t about to complain. 

He keeps riding.

He’s on first watch that night when they settle into a spot, Merle asleep in his tent after having a beer and a smoke. Daryl keeps scanning the treeline and surrounding woods, more out of muscle memory than protection, too distracted thinking about the day he’s just had. Merle’s here, alive and well, being one of the most warm and comforting illusions Daryl’s had in years. He can’t remember the last time he didn’t feel the weight of the world on his shoulders, the last time he didn’t have blood covering his hands. Feel’s like a prick for being so dramatic; it’s not like he’s Maggie, Michonne, or hell - the King. Never had to bare those responsibilities the way they’ve had do. He rubs the back of his neck with his hand as he sits, shifts his focus to something else. Tries to think about what he’s gonna say to Lydia tomorrow. He knows Negans talk with her ended with them both in tears, her storming out; know’s she doesn’t trust any of them anymore. Gives up and sighs when he realises he’s got no choice but to accept that he’s got no fucking idea how to reason with a teenager, how to word things so she can understand, especially with her well earned trust issues and abandonment complex.

Him and Merle switch out a few hours later, Merle on watch and Daryl sleeping. Daryl gives Merle a clap on the back as they pass each other, know’s when he wakes up tomorrow it’s just gonna be him in the Grimes’ basement. He has a brief second where he thinks about saying fuck it and giving Merle a hug, but decides against it. Not like they were ever the touchy feely type to begin with.

When he wakes up the next morning, it’s bright as fuck. There’s birds chirping, there’s whistling, some clinking of a fork hitting metal. Merle’s voice carrying. Daryl pats himself down, takes in how he’s in the same clothes he went to sleep in, the same tent, and quickly gathers his bow and his knife and rushes outside the tent.

“The hell?” Merle yells, doing a double take as Daryl stands there, crossbow up and aimed. “The hell’s got your panties in a twist? Jesus, fuck. You dreamin’ about the chupacabra again? Bigfoot? Good Lord.” He bends down and starts rummaging around his bag, “Here, calm the fuck down, eat this,” holding out a bar and passing it over, muttering under his breath “jump out of the tent, gun’s blazing, fuck me, give me a damn near heart attack.”

Daryl slowly lowers his bow and stands there for a few seconds before stepping forward slowly and grabbing the snack, staring at Merle the whole time. He takes a bite or two then throws it back before tightening his grip on his weapon, bending down to grab a bottle for some water then heads for the trees without a word. Merle calls out to him, telling him to catch some rabbit instead of squirrel this time. Daryl doesn’t acknowledge him.

He’s still there when Daryl gets back.

Daryl decides he’s fucking done with this dream. Doesn’t get why his subconscious couldn’t give him a greatest hits reel. Like, yeah, let him remember his time with his brother, but maybe also let him relive some of the early days on the farm or some of the early days in Alexandria. Remember the run that he, Jesus, Tara, and Aaron went on that one time. Maybe remember the first time Judith attempted to say his name. The day he and Dog found each other. Maybe even let him relive some days before the fucking world ended. 

It takes less than a minute for the guilt to set in, instantly feeling like a prick. Merle died for him and for his family, and he’s fucking missed his brother. So what if Dream Merle never stops complaining? He fucking wishes life would go back to being this simple, when these were his biggest problems. Wishes Merle could’ve made it this far. Could’ve seen what was to come, what they could’ve built.

When he wakes up the next morning, Merle’s still there. Still chatty, still loud, still wanting food they don’t have. Still got 20 different opinions about things that don’t even matter anymore.

4th morning in and he wakes up to Merle having a smoke and thinks maybe, possibly, something’s going on. Maybe it’s more than just a dream. Feels like he should try and figure his shit out. Weighs the options of it being just a really elaborate dream, or a massive mind fuck hallucination. His mind provides the term ‘time travel’ but Daryl’s not gonna fucking acknowledge that. Wonders if he got a head injury without realising and he’s in a coma. Maybe this is what Rick felt like back when he woke up at the start of all this. He quirks a lip up at the irony.

The 5th day in is when he knows something is definitely fucking going on.

The 5th day is when they run into the Atlanta group. He spots Shane and T-Dog first, then Glenn and Lori. Daryl steps back, tries to think if he’s ever dreamt about Lori or about Shane, while Merle steps forward and does all the talking again. It’s an exact replica of the last time this happened. They all come to the same uneasy agreement to let the brothers stay, Glenn swaying the result in their favour again. Daryl feels sick. Glenn’s talking, saying how it’ll be good to have people that know how to hunt, who know what’s safe to eat from the woods, how useful it’ll be to have more muscle. Daryl feels like he can’t fucking breath. He wants to run up to him, wants to fucking hug him, wants to throw up right there, on the spot. Instead he just stands there, takes in Glenn’s face and the lack of blood or brain matter, the way he looks and sounds so young, and tries to swallow the lump in his throat and breath. Merle starts moving forward and Daryl follows on auto pilot. 

They make their way slowly onto the camp, the rest of the group looking as standoffish about the Dixon brothers staying as they did the first time. Daryl lets Merle deal with their shit, grabs his bow and heads out into the woods straight away. He hears Andrea scoff behind him.

Out in the woods, he tells himself he’s gonna take a moment to properly think shit through now, for real this time. Try and figure about what’s happening to him. Ain’t no way this is all just a fucking dream. Sure as shit ain’t no coma, either. Shit’s too fucking real. It’s been 10 years since the world went up in shit and he’s had enough knocks to the head to know his memories of the start are gonna be a little hazy. He tries to pinpoint certain moments but it’s rough, tries to remember the specifics of how things originally went down but knows that while he’s observant, always has been, he was still on the outskirts of the group. Wern’t ever really let in on all the details before their time at the farm and he never really put that much effort into learning earlier. He didn’t bother nobody and nobody bothered him. 

The start was so fucking simple.

He guesses he remembers the general gist of some things. He can remembers standing back and letting Merle run the show. Doesn't remember Carol ever holding herself like that. Remembers the way Lori looked at him; like he was no better than the geeks, like it was him who her family was threatened by. Doesn't remember Sophia or Carl ever being that small. Remembers how Shane tried to be the leader, loud and tough. Wants to grab a knife and end Shane now, thinking about the story he spun of what happened to Otis. The night Glenn and him found Randall in the woods, neck broken, two sets of foot prints. He remembers Rick, and how he made being a leader look natural, almost effortless, how people just instinctively knew to trust him, to believe in him. How he had the entire group listening to him within a day of setting foot into camp. 

The sound of trees rustling brings him back to the present and he snaps into action. Out in the woods ain’t no place to let down your guard, no matter how safe you think you are. He lets himself get pulled back into the task at hand, spotting something moving out of the corner of his eye and shakes himself off, catching everyone some dinner. Specifically aims to get Carls and Glenns favourites even though he knows their tastebuds don’t really adjust to road life until the farm falls. 

It’s not enough, but it’s a start.

Glenn thanks him for dinner that night. Lori makes Carl say thanks, too. Sophia and Amy do it without any prompting. Daryl suddenly can’t stomach this, can’t sit here with his family and look at them, knowing whats to come. He excuses himself and goes to sleep wishing with everything in him that he could wake the fuck up now.

Lays there and chews at his thumbnail, thinks he doesn’t know how much longer he can talk to his ghosts.

Later that night in his tent, while Dale and Andrea keep watch and everyone sleeps, he reaches the conclusion that no matter what option he chooses, they’re all fucking crazy. 

He’s not ready to deal with everything if it’s a permanent thing. Not ready for any of this to be real, to spend the next 8 years meeting everyone that’s ever mattered to him again. To look at them and remember how they died. Thinks he also isn’t ready to accept this could just be a dream, that he could wake up any minute now in a world without Glenn, without Carl, no Sophia. Most of his family fading back into his memories and dreams.  

So he ignores the voice in his head and decides he’s gonna let it go, falls back into the safety of letting himself believe it’s a dream. Convinces himself he doesn’t wanna make waves if he’s just injured and unconscious and this is his minds way of trying to let himself heal. Even goes as far as to let himself feel pissed off about his minds idea of taking a peaceful trip down memory lane is by taking him to the beginning of the end, when the world went to shit. 

If he’s being real with himself though, he has to admit that maybe those first few months of the apocalypse weren’t all that bad for him. It was just him and Merle and the bikes and his crossbow. No money problems, no close calls with the law, no more upperclass or businessmen around to look down on him for being redneck trailer trash. 

He’s always felt more at home in the woods than any four walls and roof, knows how to navigate the stars, has been living off the land since before he could write. He was thriving when all this began. Wern’t close enough to anyone outside of Merle, never had anyone to worry about, anyone to lose.

The world turned upside down and he came out on top.

Merle brings up the plan to rob the camp a few nights later. They’re on watch together, Daryl having rigged up the perimeter with some string and cans; so they’re kinda just standing around, staring into the night. He talks under his breath with Daryl just in earshot, saying how they need to figure out the best things to take, then haul ass when they do. Whispers that they’re just gonna take the most useful stuff, how it’s not like these city slickers are gonna make it much further anyway. How they’re doing them a favour. Daryl thinks about Glenn in Alexandria, everything that went down with Nicholas and Noah. Throws his mind back to the prison, when he carried Carol out of the tombs after she survived for days on her own, after everyone had considered her dead. Takes a steadying breath and walks away, throwing a ‘whatever.’ over his shoulder.

They’ve been at the camp for just under two weeks when Merle goes to leave with Glenn and the others for the city. That’s when he starts to open himself up to the time travel option.

Everything up until this stage has been more or less calm. He gets up, he hunts, he takes watch, he sleeps. Rinse and repeat. Nothing strenuous, nothing life changing, just a peaceful two weeks of hanging out with his brother and his family.

He’d been rationalising everything to himself, telling himself that if he’s going through trauma and his mind’s officially breaking after 10 years of tragedies and losses, then this is okay. He’s happy to hang out here, back when things were simple and easy. He’s happy to see Carl and Sophia get homeschooled and run around and be kids. Happy to see Carl and Lori back together. More than happy to see Glenn float around camp and get into everything, learn about cars, hang out with the kids, plan trips to the city. Pretty fucking content to sit back and watch Carol and Sophia walk around together.

But then Merle mentions the city run, and Shane and Lori are having secret meetings outside camp together, and Ed’s going stir crazy, ranting about being stuck in the woods for weeks on end with no rescue mission in sight. Dales on top of the RV everyday, setting his watch, being on guard. And it’s too familiar. It’s fucking suffocating. It’s exactly how it went down the first time. Before he realises it, he’s volunteering himself to go on the run instead.

Merle laughs.

Glenn looks between the two brothers, trying to figure out the best approach. Daryl’s better in the woods, not that Merle’s bad, but Daryl’s got more patience than Merle could dream. He always comes back with more food than the older brother, will spend all day out there to make sure everyone at camp gets a full ration, even takes the time to help dress and skin the animals, showing the girls how to do it properly. Merle’s not as particular, more than happy to stroll back into camp with half the amount and ready to dump it and let the ladies do the work.

“You’re needed here, it’s fine. Merle can come with us.” Glenn reasons, “We’re only gonna be gone a few hours, in and out, no problem. We can handle Merle.”

“Yeah, that ain’t happenin’,” Daryl heads to his tent, grabs his crossbow and his backpack, double checks he has his knives, and heads out towards the truck.

Merle stops laughing the second he sees Daryls face and sees the serious look in his eyes, like Daryl thinks he’s already won the argument.

“Now, now, little brother, what on earth do you want with Atlanta?” he puts a hand on Daryl’s shoulder, holding him in place, “You stay here, keep these people feed, and Ol’ Merle will head into the city, keep these city slickers in line. We’re all good here.”

Merle makes a move to head to the truck, nodding at Glenn that things are settled, before Daryl speaks up again.

“You’re staying here, man. Glenn says the city’s overrun. If he’s gonna take a group for the first time, they need’a be quiet and quick. That ain’t you.” Daryl holds Merles eyes for a moment before moving past him, looking to Glenn and raising his eyebrows. “We good to go?”

Glenn glances between the brothers one last time before nodding at Daryl. “Yeah. We’re good. We gotta go now though, if we wanna be back before dark.”

Daryl nods and looks at Merle one last time before making a move to go stand near the back of the truck, waiting for T-Dog while everyone slowly resumes what they were doing. Merle stays standing in the same spot, looking on in part disbelief and part pissed off. Daryl looks on from the corner of his eye, watching as Merle stalks off to his tent before stomping back out and heading for the trees. The camp seems to let out a sigh of relief in his absence and Daryl feels guilty to leave them with him, especially considering his mood, but then remembers how Merle never returned from this trip the first time. 

He tells himself that this is the right move, that Merle can make it this time, he can grow to care for the group the same way Daryl did the first time ‘round. Merle can be a fucking asshole at the best of times, but he knows how to care when you give him a reason. If you’re unlucky enough to have him as an enemy, you better run; but if you’re one of the lucky ones that he considers kin, he’ll have your back for life.

[hypmicscenarios]

Anime Attraction

3.K words

A/N: High School au. Fic with ichiro, you two slowly falling in love over the span of a 4 day convention and bonding over the fact that you’re closeted weebs. (So he would like tdd era ichiro) And again! I use neutral pronouns! hope you enjoy~

Day 1: You were very excited, happy, elated, every happy word in the book! This year, you were finally going to your first anime convention. Unfortunately, you were a bit of a closeted weeb. People knew you watched anime….just not your extreme obssession with it. Maybe extreme was too harsh for you case, but you were sure that would be the situation if they ever saw your room, filled with anime posters, merch, etc.However, those were all bought online or in stores….youve never actually been to a convention.

Online, you heard many good things about it, and that people there, for the most part, were friendly. You smiled as you got off the train, an empty backpack on your bag, besides essentials, inside an empty tote bag for you posters. You had planned for this for months. Saving up all the money you could from your allowances. Your wallet, besides money for the train and food to eat, was going to be completely emptied by the end of the day. Finally, you took your jacket off, revealing a ( favorite anime) anime shirt on your person. One of your favorites. You could never choose. You could talk about it for days. However….it was Under rated. It was also a bit old...and you were late to watch it, so the fandom dwindled down.

You were amazed as you saw many cosplays, a bit too nervous to ask for pictures, or even compliment them, but you hoped they received your compliments in spirit….something like that. It was….also really big and crowded. You got too into your head, overthinking a bunch of things, that you didn’t see the larger man in front of you, hitting his back.

“O-oh im sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” you said, bowing quickly. You looked up at the man, gulping, quickly taken aback by how pretty he was, different colored eyes, red and green. It almost seemed like he was in cosplay, but he was just wearing a naruto shirt with black jeans on, a naruto headband around his forehead.

Ichiro blinked and smiled,”no need to apologize, I was kind of standing here in the middle of everyone anyway,”his eyes went down to your shirt and his eyes sparkled,”wait….thats a (favorite anime) isnt it! Whose your favorite character?”, he asked. You were taken aback about how eager and happy he seemed, but it definitely managed to make you relax a bit.

“My favorite character is [     ],”you said, stating your reasoning,”oh- sorry….I didn’t mean to talk that long,” Ichiro chuckled,”thats fine, I love them too! For mostly the same reasons, theyre kind of cool. This is my first convention so Im excited its going off to great start, thanks.”

Oh? It was his first time as well? “Its my first time too, I came here alone, I didn’t expect to be this big, theres so many people.” Ichiro nodded,”Im here by myself too, are you here all four days?” You nodded. “If you dont mind it, we can walk around together, ah! Sorry if thats a bit too forward….”,he trailed off. To be honest, Ichiro was a closeted weeb. So he had no one to talk to, let alone drag to a con. “Oh no, Um, its fine. I would like that...even though I know everyone here loves anime….”,you trailed off, the guy, whose name you still didn’t know, finished your thought,”because theres so many people conversing and being you feel like everyone already has their own cliques and you realize youre alone.”

Well. That. Yes that. You smiled,”Yeah, its that, and my nerves and anxiety.”

Ichiro stuck his hand out,”Yamada Ichiro, 2nd year high school student in Ikebukuro. Nice to meet you.”

“ l/n, f/n, also 2nd year in a high school located in yokohama, nice to meet you”m you said and shook his hand. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Day 2:

The first day, the two of you had walked around, played games, went to panels together, learning much more about each other. You agreed to meetup at the same place in the morning. Of course, you were even more excited than you were yesterday. You were dressed in more casual clothing, but backpack was now decorated with buttons you found. Soon, you heard your name being called out and waved your hand,”Good Morning Yamada-san”, you said, greeting him.

Ichiro smiled and spoke,”Morning! Did you sleep well?”, he asked.  You shook your head in disagreement,”I barely got any sleep, I was excited for today.” Ichiro laughed,”so did I, so what should we do today?”,he said, taking out the convention program guide. “Hmmmm, theres a bunch of panels,”you said, going to the side of him and looking at the program,”how to successfully master naruto hand signs….”,you trailed off. They really….had a panel for everything.

Ichiro’s face lit up,” that sounds cool, want to go? Although I already know a couple…”,he said, and you laughed,”what? You going to become the next hokage Yamada-san?”, you teased a bit, but he went along with it, of course he did. You found out about this from yesterday. That he was like this. “I am gonna be next hokage, just believe it!”, he said.

“Thats naruto’s punchline you cant just steal it,” you said, watching Ichiro as he thought, then spoke again, very excitedly,”Im going to be next hokage, because I said so!”, he said, putting out a thumb. For some reason, it had you laughing a lot,”b-bbecause you said so? Ahahaha, well, you sure have a passion like naruto, I think thats all you need, its cute”, you said, realizing that you had just called the other cute.

Ichiro blushed and put his hand behind his back,”Sorry...I just cant be like this a lot in real life without getting teased for it, so its a bit refreshing,”he said and you nodded,, understanding completely.

“Well, lets go learn some jutstus even though they wont help against a gun but who cares, because its an anime convention, and we’re doing what we love,”you said confidently, more confident than you would expect from yourself.  Ichiro nodded,”Dattebayo, lets go!”, he saidm turning around and walking. You were really having too much fun. Being attracted to him went way over your head for now, simply enjoying the time the two of you spent together.

Later on in the day, the two of you found an anime photo booth, Ichiro dragging you by the arm towards it,”for memories!”, he said. The two of you got in and hit the naruto theme poses. Of course, you indulged him, he was cute when he got his way. And, you didn’t have to worry about poses. Instead, they gave you poses to do.

The first was a naruto sign for any jutsu, the second peace signs, the third you had to stick your tongues at each other, seeming annoyed, and the last one….got you. It was only a hug, but they way Ichiro hugged you quickly and tightly, pushing both of your faces together, eft you shocked, and you were sure the picture didn’t turn out well. Once you got out and looked at it, Ichiro pointed to last one,”its like you were trying so hard not to blink, but we’re cute, arent we?”,he said and you laughed:yea we really are”, you replied, more focused on the current pace of your heart...beating very rapidly. You paid for two copies so you could keep it. The rest of the day, you two kept up your shenanigans. It was tough leaving, but you were going to come back tomorrow and, hopefully, your heart would learn to behave.

Day 3:

The two of you sat down to eat lunch on the third day, already having gone through a couple activities.

“Theres Jiro, then theres Saburo, and Saburo is the oldest. We’re all pretty close but Saburo and Jiro always fight a lot, typical sibling stuff…..and a lot of the times it includes me. I keep telling them I dont have favorites but they never listen,”Ichiro sighed with a smile on his face. It wasn’t an exhausted sigh though, he was used to it, it was just how they worked.

You smiled as he rambled on about his brothers. It was very clear that he cherished the both of them dearly and would do anything for them. “That must be nice….Im an only child so I could never relate to these type of things. Thats why I got into anime really, theres was no one that I could play with at the snap of a finger if I wanted to-oh Im not sad about it or anything, I love anime, it was really there for me in trying times, plus the internet.”

Ichiro nodded and then spoke,”Well, you have me now too, and you can be as passionate as you want, no holding back. You have my number now and its already fun texting you when we’re not at the convention.”  He was right. After you guys left, you were quickly texting each other at home before you went to sleep. You sent each other memes,pictures, and talked about a bunch of different topics, that often you had smiling or laughing at your phone.

At that point….you knew had a crush. It was only two days but he was just so…..it was the little things really, not just the fact that you had anime in common. When you were walking through the convention center, going through a massive crowd, he told you to hold onto his jacket, so you wouldn’t get lost. Or how he quickly offered to help hold your stuff when you were buying merchandise. Or even him talking about how much he loves his brothers. Rather than weird, it was insanely cute to you.

It wasnt love per say…..well. Lets be real. You were a sucker when it came to love. Honestly, you dont even feel like counting how many crushes you had but none of those ever came to fruition.  You should just focus on your anime boys but the moment some other boy is even the slightest bit kind to you, like helping you carry books, your heart falls. Despite that though, you felt like this was different. More than just a couple simple acts of kindness.

“Im really enjoying our time here, we’re going to the cosplay masquerade today right? We still have some time to kill, want to go to the game hall?”, you asked,”then we can see which one of us is better at dance dance revolution.” Ichiro smiled and nodded his head,”Yeah! Youre on!”

After that, the two of you managed to spend all of your time in the hall. Ichiro was by a claw machine and you commented,”I suck at these things,”then looked inside, seeing what plushies they had. “I think im pretty decent,”Ichiro said, walking up,”sometimes I won stuff for saburo when I was little...he grew out of it though,”Ichiro said with a laugh.He wanted to try it.

“Good Luck Yamada-kun!”, you said, cheering him on. You were amazed by how focused he looked. “Do you want anything specific?”,he asked you. “Wait, me?”, you said, trying to clarify. Ichiro laughed,”I think you’re the only l/n here,”he said. That...kind of caught you off guard. But you walked up and placed your hands against the glass. “Ummmm, that cat in the middle is kind of cute.”

Ichiro nodded. The first time, he managed to pick the plushie up for about three seconds before it fell, but that was better than what you could do! The second time, he managed to grab it again, your eyes wide in anticipation as you followed the claw and plushie to the drop off slot. “Oh my god, you did it!”,you said, going to high five both of Ichiro’s hands but, instead of letting go, he held them and put them down,”Yeah I did! Guess I didn’t lose my skill after all.” “Yeah...youre amazing”, you said, trying to not comment on the fact that he was still holding both of your hands. God….your heart was a mess. There was no denying you fell for him. At most, it was very high like at this point.

Day 4:

Ichiro was excited to see you again. Well, half-excited and half-sad. He really liked hanging out with you. More often than not, he found himself thinking about how you look best when theres a smile on your face. So, he always did dumb things to make you smile, no matter how stupid it may have looked. Maybe it was because you didn’t think his obsession was weird. When you guys talked, your interests lined up more than he thought they would. It was perfect.

Of course, he eventually figured out that he’d want to see you, in a more romantic context, that it is. He knew his feelings towards you were different. Honestly, he even weirdly got a little bit jealous when you mentioned how hot a specific anime character was. Ichiro didn’t necessarily plan on confessing that day….but who knows how things would turn out. Yes, it had only been three days, but he felt like he knew you already. Really, you guys always messaged each other.

The conversations would go dull for an hour or so but one link to a meme and that sparked a conversation that continued for a while. It was great. He had never felt so validated.

“L/n-san! Hey, morning!”,he said as he walked up to you. You looked like you were thinking hard about something, but Ichiro didn’t comment on it.

In fact, you were. Thinking about how you wouldn’t be able to see him so frequently. It made you….sadder than you expected. Granted you could travel to see him, but it was also due to the fact that it was the last day of the convention. Here, you could be yourselves without glancing over you shoulder every couple seconds in fear that someone you knew would spot you.  It was so much fun, especially because of him!

Its for the best though….your funds were just about dried out. You couldn’t help but smile as you saw him though,”hey, good morning to you too, ready for the last day?” Ichiro laughed,”Yes and No because this has been very exciting.” You nodded in agreement,”it has, it does suck that we cant experience this everyday.”

“well!”,Ichiro clapped his hands,”lets not worry about that and focus on having fun, okay?” Your smile got wider,”yes, okay!” Ichiro spoke,”Datteba-”, then he pointed towards you,”Yo!”, you said, the two of you giggling. This had become your thing now, apparently, but you two werent used to it, hence you laughing off you embarrassment.

You went to the artist alley and exhibit hall one last time, taking a lot more pictures together than usual, even with cosplayers! Ichiro helped you out a lo with expressing that you wanted pictures with them and that was yet another thing that you loved about him. Without even asking him to do so, he just did it on a whim, and that made you incredibly happy.

A bit later, it was closing ceremonies. It wasnt much really, but anything to just spend even a little more time with Ichiro. However, that ended sooner than you expected. And you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

The two of you sat outside on a bench.

“So, I suppose this is it…”,you said. You had to get back early today anyway. Yet, you really didn’t want to. You looked up as Ichiro spoke,”no, its not it. We still have each other’s numbers, we can make it work, I-well….these past few days have been really fun for me,”Ichiro blushed, placing his hand behind his neck. Was he going to confess? If he didn’t do it now he knew he’d procrastinate on doing so forever. He didn’t necessarily have to make sure you were his in this exact moment, but his heart wanted an answer as soon as possible, before he got in too deep.

“The thing is….I want us to be more than just friends. I just….the more we talked, the more I found myself drawn to you. Like I can tell you anything. Its really easy to be myself around you, l/n, I want...to get closer. So, would you go out with me? Or not now, I mean you can think about it but...yeah.”,he said, face blushing. He had only confessed once in his lifetime and that was during elementary….he was quickly shut down.

You….couldn’t believe your ears. Did you really manage to find someone who was interested you at an anime convention. Well, you were sure there were more interesting stories but this was still way out of your league. You even thought he was way out of your league.

“I….we can date. I feel the same, about you, I like talking to you. And I think whats making me so sad is that I cant see you...not the convention part,”you said, looking towards Ichiro and seeing his grow excited. He grabbed your hands quickly and held them,”really?! Thats great.”,he said, letting go than hugging you. Oh. This was happening. It took you a couple seconds to process the hug before you reciprocated it.

Ichiro pulled away, looking down at you, a smile on his face,”when I talk with you, I feel like the happiest and luckiest man in the world. I know love is too strong of a word right now, but I want to do my best to make you happy.”

You were so flustered that you made no response, even more so when you felt his hand on your cheek and saw him leaning in. It all happened quickly. You closed your eyes and suddenly his lips were on yours. No movement, but it lingered for a moment, before he pulled away.

That was your first...kiss. You didn’t mind that it got taken by him but still….it was so much to process. Ichiro brought you back to reality,”Ikebukuro isn’t too far from Yokohama on the train, maybe we could meet in the middle on weekends, or switch up, ah, well I guess we can talk about this letter, getting ahead of myself,”he said and chuckled, which only prompted you to let out a soft laugh. He was like an eager puppy that you wanted to pet. Weird how he so easily calmed your nerves by the sounds of your laughs.

“Datteba-”

“Yo!”