#/ this girl??? riddled with social anxiety and all that

[girllblogging777]

𝑈𝑁𝐵𝑅𝐸𝐴𝐾𝐴𝐵𝐿𝐸 ༉‧₊˚.

↳ 「𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒」 mattheo riddle x fem!reader (cousin’s best friend)

↳ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡 : 1,3k

𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦 : mattheo tried to stay away from draco’s cousin, until she had a panick attack at a party

✩✩✩✩

mattheo riddle was “unbreakable”. everyone knew that. everything that he touched, he broke, including people. hate and anger seemed to be drawn to him, fighting and arguing with people had simply become his daily routine. but no matter what terrible things happened to him, or what horrors he endured, he never broke. because he was unbreakable.

tonight, he was currently standing outside of the ravenclaw common room where a party was being held, leaning against a pillar and smoking a cigarette. the moonlight softly shined through the glass windows of the castle and reflected on his hair as he slowly exhaled a cloud of smoke.

loud music could be heard from the inside, but he had chosen to stay away from it. truth is, despite his reputation, mattheo hated parties. he hated everything about it, from the people to theirs actions, to the way drunk girls practically threw themselves at his feet to be chosen for his usual hookups. so there he was distancing himself from everyone, because social events like these were the reason of his anger issues and anxiety in the first place.

the brunette boy slowly exhaled the smoke and closed his eyes. for the first time in a while, things felt slightly peaceful. but that was all thrown away when you appeared.

his eyes snapped open at the sound of your footsteps, and his heart almost leaped out of his chest when he realised it was you. the girl he had tried to distance himself as much as possible. out of all the people, of course it had to be you. as gorgeous as you looked all dressed up for the party, wearing a silver skirt and a matching makeup, your face said otherwise. your bewitching doe eyes were wearing a look of anxiety, and the cracking sound of your knuckles confirmed it to mattheo. so when you noticed him, you turned around and tried to walk away. your cousin’s best friend had made clear that he wanted nothing from you ever since you had transferred here, but little did you know tonight would change everything.

“hey, wait up !” three words that startled you. was he really speaking to you ?well that was new… mattheo couldn’t believe it either, he had promised himself he would stay away from you but the sight of your tears stained cheeks and smiles messed up hair made it impossible for him not to care.

“what’s going on ? are you okay ?” he asked in the softest voice you’d ever heard from him as you walked up to him. wiping your eyes and trying to fix your looks, you spoke.

“no, i need to see draco”. of course you were gonna shut everyone out except your cousin, how typical of you.

“he’s not here, left with a random girl couple of minutes ago” riddle nonchalantly declared as he took another drag of his cigarette. he would never let you see that in reality, he was a savoring each word you said to him as if you’d disappear at any moment. the moment he had waited and thought about for months, your first ever interaction.

“was he supposed to walk you back to your dorm ?” you whispered “yeah”. your cousin would never leave your side, knowing it’s not safe for a girl to walk alone at night in hogwarts. but of course, the only time you had a panick attack, he had to leave the party with a girl.

“i can walk you to your dorm… if you want to, that is. i wasn’t planning on going inside anyways” he declared without even thinking about it, carefully studying your precious face as if it was the most fragile thing he’d ever seen.

you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and took a deep breath. “okay, sure.” after all, he was close to draco and despite his usual nonchalance towards you, you knew he was trustworthy.

mattheo grabbed his worn out leather jacket and stubbed out his cigarette before following you in the moonlit hallways.

“will you tell me what’s wrong now ?” he asked you, as you kept fidgeting with the rings on your fingers.

“nothing, i just may or may not have lost my mind in there” you sighed.

“and why is that ? you seemed fine when i left earlier….” each of his words were careful, not wanting to overstep any of your boundaries, especially since it was his first time properly talking to you.

“i always seem fine” the words were out of your mouth before you even thought about them. “hogwarts’ perfect girl, draco malfoy’s perfect cousin.” you always had to be perfect. you were always fine.

he noticed your automatic response and raised his brow, knowing you were lying. “yeah well, i don’t buy that for a second”

you scoffed “oh trust me, me neither”

“why keep that perfect act then ? if you’re not fine, why keep pretending to be ?” he looked at you to see your reaction.

“would you rather have me break down in tears in the middle of the party ? sure, that would just be lovely” you snickered.

he ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure out what to he should say next. normally he would’ve left by now, normally he wouldn’t care and yet there he was walking you back to your dorm and trying to comfort you the best he could. “you’re stubborn, has anyone ever told you that ?”

“yeah, i get that a lot” you admitted as you began to enjoy the boy’s presence next to you, the banter between the both of you feeling natural. you couldn’t explain it but mattheo riddle felt comforting, and that was unbelievable.

“why pretend to be flawless ?” he asked “stop pretending you’re this perfect girl. stop putting unnecessary pressure on yourself to be someone you aren’t”

was the one and only mattheo riddle, infamous son of lord voldemort seriously giving you advice on happiness ? how ironic, you thought, trying to find a reason why he would even bother talking to you like he was doing now.

“i’m not saying you need to be anything different, just stop pretending you have all your life together and be yourself” he continued “because i doubt this perfect girl act is good for your mental health”

you scoffed “that’s bold coming from you”. when you saw the brunette’s jaw clench and the way he started walking faster, you immediately regretted your words.

“hey sorry, i didn’t mean it… it’s just, i don’t really understa-“ he immediately cut you off “it’s fine.”

“i just don’t understand why you’re doing this, that’s all. you don’t talk to me much, or ever…”

his eyes immediately softened. how could he tell you that the only reason he never talked to you is because your mere presence was enough to make his heart rate speed up ? and here you were tonight, walking gracefully as the moonlight reflected on your shiny hair. it was too much for him.

“well, your cousin made it pretty clear he didn’t want my fucked up self near you, so…”

“i couldn’t care less what draco thinks” you admitted, knowing that wasn’t even true. “if you stay away from me, i want it to be because you want to. besides i’m pretty fucked up too, i’m sure you got that by now.”

he scoffed, want to stay away from you ? no one in their right mind would ever wanna do that. “no, i don’t want that. i won’t ignore you anymore as long as you drop your perfect girl act with me” he suggested.

a soft smile creeped up on your face and his beautiful brown eyes lit up “deal” you answered cheerfully as you both reach the staircase leading to the girl’s dorms. “and by the way, i think you should apply your own advice to yourself. you need it more than i do��� mattheo didn’t bother answering back and simply nodded. he may not have done anything special to comfort you tonight but you sure did feel better now, your anxiety long gone by now.

“thanks for walking me back, you’re not as bad as i thought you’d be” you said to him with a grin as you tried to mimic his usual nonchalance. mattheo chuckled “no problem, miss perfect. take care of yourself, yeah ? wouldn’t wanna see you have a panick attack again…” you knew the nickname was sarcastic but it still made you feel fuzzy inside.

“good night riddle, i guess i owe you one now. take care” you answered as you studied his face for one last time, not knowing if your paths would ever cross again. he cherished the smile you gave him and with that, turned around and left. heading back to his own dorm, mattheo replayed your entire interaction again in his head.he knew he had always been attracted by your looks, but now that he had a proper conversation with you and discovered the truth about you, there was no way he would ever move on from his best friend’s breathtaking cousin.

“broken and unbreakable” he scoffed. you two made quite the pair…

✩✩✩✩

a/n : i literally wanna make this a story at this point, also this is heavily inspired by a convo i had with mattheo on character ai (oops)

please like/comment/reblog (tell me if you wanna be tagged) & take care of yourselves ! dm me if you need to talk to anyone, love you all <3

@pizzaapeteer @mattheosdior @tateshifts @iris-qt @helendeath @yikesitslush @fluffycookies22 @princesspeachthefroggy @fbvreadingblog @lonelydesks @dexoq @deadghosy @reys-letters

[special-mooon]

If you guys wanna know how the twitter twst fandom is holding up here are some things they’re arguing about rn:

That Silver X Sebek is an incestuous ship therefore problematic

Idia chooses to have social anxiety

Calling Malleus autistic-coded is ableist

Drawing Epel in a “cute” way is misogynistic

Claiming that Rook nicknamed ruggie "monsieur dandelion" bc he saw him eating dandelions and was making fun of him for being poor

Rook is fatphobic and ableist

If Ooogie Boogie would be a girl or boy in twst

Trey doesn’t love Riddle

Ace sounds too much like a teenager

Fan translations are a big disrespect to official translations

Yanas art style is ugly

Vil groomed Rook

If you hc Vil as a Trans women you’re transphobic (just saw this one today sigh..)

That’s all I can think of rn but yeah it’s hell over here lol

[0cta9on]

Unlikely Duet - 6

length: +7k words

Genre: Fluff

NewJeans Minji x Male Reader (OC)

(Author's Note: I could've taken another day to edit this, but I wanted to upload it asap so here it is :^) Hopefully my writing isn't too garbage and I hope y'all enjoy <3)

【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★

Minji’s POV

I could do nothing but pace around my room, anxiety fueling every step. Danielle was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago to drive us to the fair, but on this particular day of all days, she decides to be late. My vice president, the one who I can lean on when I’m overwhelmed with responsibilities and even more of a stickler for rules and punctuality compared to me, is late.

The brunt of my morning was spent avoiding my parents like the plague, staying cooped up in my room and eating my meals as quickly as possible. To them, it probably seems like I’m giving them the silent treatment for what they said last night (which I’m still upset about), but in reality, I was riddled with anxious thoughts and simply avoided speaking in case I accidentally let it slip that I was planning on lying to them. I’ve done it tons of times before, but every single time is nerve wracking. While I hate that it’s gotten to this point, I owe a lot of my sanity to what I’ve been able to get away with by lying. Besides, it’s probably better this way - my parents still believe that I’m their perfect daughter and I still get to have some semblance of a social life.

Like the sonorous tones of a church bell, a resounding ding emits from my phone. They’re here. With shaky hands, I grab my tote bag from my bed and carefully tiptoe down the stairs. Right as I reach the front door, my father calls out to me from the living room.

“Minji? Where are you going?” He asks, a look of curiosity on his face.

“O-oh, uhh, I guess I forgot to tell you this but I was actually planning on going to the library to study with Danielle today.” I grin at him, trying my best to sound convincing. Our eyes lock as he studies my expression for what feels like an eternity. It might just be my stress causing my eyes to play tricks on me, but there seems to be a hint of sadness in his expression, as if he doesn’t want me to go. I shake it off and refocus on the task at hand.

“Well, I better get going-”

“Wait,” he interrupts before leaving the room for a moment. He comes back with a $20 bill in his hands and offers it to me. “Here.”

Panic began to set in. Did he find out I was actually going to the fair? If he did, why would he be giving me money? Shouldn’t he be angry at me for lying to him?

“Um, what’s this for? We’re just going to the library,” I reiterate in hopes that my initial worries were wrong.

“In case you two get hungry after, you should get some snacks. Food fuels the brain.” The relief I felt after he said those words is better than any award I got in my entire academic career up to this point. Normally it would raise red flags for my father to be doing something uncharacteristic like this, but I didn’t care. I’m just glad to almost be free.

“Thanks,” I say as I take the cash. “I’ll see you later then.”

“Don’t stay out too late. Don’t be messing around while studying. And-”

I shut the door behind me before I could hear the rest of his sentence. It was probably some other generic dad advice, like “Don’t talk to strange boys at night” or something like that. The sight of Danielle’s mom’s car parked on the other side of the street was like seeing a boat heading your direction after being stranded on an island for 15 years. Hanni beckoned me from the passenger’s side window, an excited grin painted on her face.

“Hurry up girl, let’s go!!” She shouted. As I open the door to the backseat, Hyein and Haerin wave back at me.

“Hi Minji!”

“Yo.”

“Hi guys, sorry, my dad wanted to talk to me before I left,” I replied as I got in the car. “Danielle, what took you so long, I was pacing around my room for the past 20 minutes anxious out of my mind!”

“I’m sorry, there was something I had to take care of before I could take my mom’s car,” she apologizes as she tampers with the rearview mirror, clearly annoyed with its inability to swivel properly.

Hanni pops her head from the front seat. “Okay y’all, we just need to take a deep breath and calm down. We’re going to the fair to chill out and have fun, let’s not let petty things like this ruin the day before it’s even started, alright?” Haerin and Hyein nod enthusiastically, peering over at me to gauge my reaction. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in order to allow my mind to forget about the stress from my morning. Today is the day that I get to let loose and forget about all the pressures I face in my regular life. Nothing else matters but having fun. As I open my eyes again, I am welcomed by the smiling faces of my four dearest friends (Danielle was especially happy about finally fixing the rearview mirror). My lips curl into a smile as I look back at them.

“Yeah, you’re right, Hanni,” I admit. “Okay, let’s go!!” We all cheer as Danielle steps on the gas. Hanni turns up the radio, blasting a loud pop song that blares out of the windows as we cruise through the neighborhood.

______________________________________________________________

The lights, the sounds, the smells, everything about the fair was overwhelming in the best way possible. Large groups of friends and families meandered along the concrete pathways, talking and laughing as they try their hand at classic carnival games or satiate their hunger with fried food and extravagant sweets. A giant ferris wheel sat in the background, the sunlight peeking through its rotors. A wave of nostalgia washes over me as I’m reminded of old family memories. Before they pressured me into trying to obtain some kind of impossible perfection, I used to be able to exist simply as their daughter, who they loved and played with like any other child.

“Hey Minji, are you okay?” Hyein asks me. I snap out of my thoughts to find the girls looking back at me with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking about something,” I reassure them. “What do you guys wanna do first?”

“I don’t know Ms. President, what do you wanna do?” Hanni asks with a wide grin.

“Well, I guess we can-”

I freeze as I see a familiar face in the distance, intermingled with the crowd. Yuno is here. With the convenience store girl.

______________________________________________________________

Yuno’s POV

“Where the hell did he run off to?” I grumble as I struggle to search for Yujin in the crowd. The fair was more overwhelming than I could’ve imagined - it was difficult navigating through the sea of strangers without accidentally rubbing elbows with them, all while trying to find oxygen through the constant stench of fried foods and sugar wafting through the air. At the very least, the lights were pretty to look at and I would be lying if I said the ferris wheel didn’t pique my interest.

Winter chuckles at my annoyance. “Relax, he’s just getting a corndog. See, he’s on his way over here right now,” she says, gesturing through a gap in the crowd. Lo and behold, Yujin skips towards us with a corndog in hand and a stupid grin on his face.

“Look what I got!” He presents his fried snack to us with the excitement of a child presenting a drawing to their parents. An ungodly amount of ketchup and mustard drips off the corndog, creating a gross glob of orange on the ground.

“Is that healthy?” Winter asks, concern laced in her voice. Her words fall on deaf ears as Yujin chomps off a large piece, covering his mouth in sauce. I chuckle in disbelief, both deeply disturbed and quietly impressed, while Winter hands him a pack of napkins from her purse.

I take the opportunity to look around at my surroundings again. As I gazed out amongst the crowd of smiling faces, I suddenly felt out of place in it all, like I wasn’t allowed to be here. Everything felt so foreign to me, I wasn’t sure if I should feel at ease or on edge. Whether it’s paranoia or just a hunch, I couldn’t get rid of this nagging feeling at the back of my head.

“Hey Yuno?” Winter nudges me.

I turn my attention towards her. “What?”

“Isn’t that the student council president?”

My heart stops for a split second as I look down the other end of her finger. In the heart of the crowd is Minji, huddled around her friends. She’s wearing a simple outfit of a gray collegiate sweater and jeans, yet my eyes were naturally drawn to her like a magnet.

“Y-yeah, that’s her,” I stutter, trying to maintain composure.

“Mm, issa Danielle? Les go shay hi!” Yujin exclaims with a mouth full of food, running toward them before I could stop him.

“God dammit…”

“What’s wrong, do you not wanna say hi?” Winter asks as we follow the trail through the crowd Yujin left behind.

“It’s not that, it’s just… Whatever, let’s just go.” With every step I take, my heart rate begins to accelerate as, once again, fate pulls me towards Minji Kim.

______________________________________________________________

Minji’s POV

He’s coming this way!! Why is he coming this way?? Did he see me? Should I run? No, why would I run? Pull it together, Minji!! Maybe if I pretend I didn’t see him, he’ll just walk past me. Why would I do that?? Agh!!

“Ketchup… and mustard,” Haerin blurts out, drawing puzzled glances from the group. Suddenly, a boy wearing a white eyepatch emerges from the crowd, carrying a corndog smeared with red and yellow condiments.

“Danielle!!” He calls out, waving excitedly. “Hi!”

“Yujin? What are you doing here?” Danielle questions, a hint of surprise present in her voice.

“I’m with my friends!” The boy, Yujin, exclaims as Yuno and the convenience store girl appear behind him, drawing an impish grin from Hanni. I couldn’t help but feel underdressed when compared to convenience store girl’s flowery sundress and cardigan. “I didn’t expect to see you here too! This is great!”

“Uh yeah, I guess it is,” Danielle responds awkwardly before turning to us. “Um, this is Yujin, I’ve been helping him and his grandma out recently.”

“We’re friends!” He adds enthusiastically.

“Yeah, I suppose we are.” 

I couldn’t help but giggle at Danielle’s uncharacteristic awkwardness. Normally, she’s the serious voice of reason that stays calm under pressure, yet here she was, looking like an embarrassed older sister flustered by the antics of her younger sibling.

“It’s nice to meet you, Yujin,” I greet warmly. “I’m Minji, also a friend of Danielle’s.”

“Oh, you must be the student council president!” He replies eagerly. “These are my friends, Yuno and Winter. Yuno might look a little scary, but don’t worry, he only fights bad guys. He helped me and Winter out before! And Winter is really shy, but she’s really nice once you get to know her!”

“H-hello,” Winter stutters with a polite smile, while Yuno offers a simple nod. A flush of warmth colors my cheeks as our eyes briefly meet before we both quickly avert our gazes. Unfortunately, Hanni notices this and stifles a laugh, making my cheeks grow even warmer with embarrassment.

“Hello, I’m Hyein!” Our youngest chimes in. “This is Haerin, and that over there is Hanni! It’s nice to meet you all!”

As the group falls into casual conversation, I can’t help but peer over at Yujin’s eyepatch and be reminded of my conversation with Yuno last night. Despite his injuries, he’s chock full of energy and vibrancy that contrasts with Yuno’s usual solitary and soft-spoken demeanor. The difference in their personalities is cute in a way. Winter, on the other hand, shares many similarities with Yuno. Like him, she’s very soft-spoken and a little awkward, but has an aura of kindness around her despite that. I imagine the two of them got along well because of this - for some reason, this fact irks me.

“Since we’re all here to let loose at the fair, why don’t you guys join us? The more the merrier I always say, isn’t that right, Minj?” Hanni says, nudging my ribs with her elbow. I didn’t even have to look at her to know what kind of face she’s making. 

Coincidentally, my eyes meet Yuno’s once again, and I quickly break away as I think of what to say. I would hate to butt into Yuno’s time with his friends, but a voice in the back of my head was telling me otherwise.

“Yeah, you guys can join us if you want to,” I say as I give into the voices. My lips curl into a smile, but inside, I couldn’t shake the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Yuno appears taken aback at my answer as a slight pinkish hue grows on his cheeks. The group moves through the crowd looking for what to do first with Yujin leading the way and Yuno trailing close behind. I stay in the back, letting my complicated feelings fester.

“H-hello, Minji.” Winter’s soft voice interrupts my thoughts, and I turn to find her trailing behind the group alongside me. Her simple makeup look is subtle, yet it perfectly accentuated her natural beauty. Pair that with her cute outfit and she could have any guys she wants. A shiver went through my spine at the thought.

“What’s up?” I ask, trying my best to act natural.

“I just wanted to ask if you’re doing okay. I never got the chance to after what happened that night.”

My mind flashes back to when Yuno and Winter had saved me from that drunk man a couple days ago. I was too terrified and too weak to protect myself, yet this timid girl jumped in front of him to protect me. And here I am, feeling all weird because I think she looks prettier than me.

“I’m doing fine now. Thanks again for that, I owe you one,” I express.

She quickly shakes her head at my offer. “Y-you don’t have to do that. If you want, I can give you a can of pepper spray. I have a couple more of them at home.”

A chuckle escapes my lips, and Winter seems to loosen up at this. “I might have to take you up on that offer,” I say, half-jokingly. A wave of shame washes over me as I suddenly felt bad for being jealous of her. Maybe the events of this morning still have their effects on me or maybe I ate something bad earlier, but something feels off with me today and I’m not sure why.

“Guys, look over here!” Yujin shouts excitedly from the front of the group, pointing at a giant Spider-man plush sitting on a prize table for a basketball game. Two basketball hoops stood tall before him, much higher than a regular basketball hoop. “I HAVE to get this for my room!” He quickly pays the game attendant, who places three basketballs on the counter in front of him.

“Alright, the game is simple. All you have to do is make at least one basket and you get a prize,” the worker explains. Yujin takes the first ball and psyches himself up, giving the ball a couple dribbles before throwing it… And completely missing the hoop.

“Aw man,” he groans in disappointment. “Yuno, why don’t you try?”

Yuno accepts the challenge, gripping the second ball with steely determination. I watch with bated breath as the ball leaves his hands. It soars high into the sky… and completely misses the hoop. The ball shoots way over the hoop and ends up knocking a corndog out of someone’s hand. The girls and I struggle to stifle our laughter as Yuno’s cheeks turn a bright red.

“A-ah… Shit…” He curses under his breath. “M-maybe Winter should try…”

Winter steps forward, her hands shaking as she grips the final ball. We all freeze with anticipation as she shoots the ball towards the hoop. Miraculously, it arcs perfectly in the air and lands through the hoop with a satisfying swoosh. A scattered array of claps and cheers erupt from some bystanders that witnessed that moment, but none are as ecstatic as Yujin, who jumps and cheers with the excitement of a kid on his birthday.

“Congratulations, ma’am! Which prize would you like?” The worker asks her.

“T-the Spiderman p-please,” Winter stammers, accepting the toy and handing it to Yujin.

“Ahhh!!! Winter, you’re the best!!!” He screams, drawing a variety of reactions from passersby. Yuno flashes her a quick thumbs up while Hyein, Haerin, and Hanni shower her with compliments, which Winter modestly tries to brush away with a bashful smile. Meanwhile, Danielle is occupied with trying to contain Yujin’s overflowing energy.

“M-my dad really likes basketball, so he made me play w-when I was younger. I-it’s nothing really,” Winter explains. She’s kind, pretty, AND athletic? It’s almost as if God himself created the perfect person and placed them in front of me on a day I decided not to dress up. There’s no wonder I felt jealous of her. But why am I jealous of her?

“Are you okay?” Yuno asks me.

I startle slightly at his sudden appearance. “H-huh? Yeah, why?” I awkwardly chuckle. Yuno’s gentle gaze meets mine with genuine concern, momentarily distracting myself from my swirling thoughts. I found myself wanting to draw closer and get lost in his irises.

What?! Minji, what are you even thinking?! Have you gone insane?!

“You look… upset,” he admits shyly. “I just wanted t-”

Suddenly, a basketball bounces off of the other hoop and hurtles towards Winter. In a flash, Yuno turns and catches the ball right before it hits her in the face, his gentle expression replaced with a stern glare at the person who threw the ball.

“Watch it,” he growls in a calm yet menacing tone as he tosses the ball back. His face immediately softens as he turns back to Winter. “You alright?”

“Y-yeah. Thanks, Yuno,” she answers with an appreciative smile. I felt my heart drop from my chest as I watched their interaction, confusion and envy creating a storm in my mind.

“Sooooooo, you gonna make a move or no?” I jump as Hanni startles me from behind.

“W-what??” I sputter.

“I recognize that face anywhere. You’re jealous~.” 

Heat creeps up my face as I struggle to find the words to explain myself. “Wha- I am not jealous!” I seethe, trying to keep my voice down. “I’m just… impressed by his reaction timing.”

“Mhm,” she hums, raising an eyebrow. “Well, I’m impressed by how close they look. Don’t you think they would make a cute couple, Minj?”

Her words leave a bitter taste in my mouth. “Y-yeah, I’m sure they would,” I reply, unconvincingly. “W-whatever, like I said I’m not jealous.”

“Oh sweet, sweet Minji,” Hanni sighs, shaking her head as she pats my shoulder. She follows the rest of the group as they move on, leaving me to watch Yuno and Winter as they walk side by side. No matter how hard I try, I can't rationalize this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I see them together. I need to do something, but I don’t know why.

______________________________________________________________

We spent the next hour walking around, playing all the fair games, and filing our stomachs with an array of different snacks the fair offers. I tried to enjoy myself, but the pit in my stomach continued to grow and grow until it became unbearable. I even started to consider Hanni’s words, but no amount of inner turmoil would make me go that insane. 

As the sun dipped low, casting an enchanting orange hue over the fairgrounds, it seemed like the perfect time to watch the sunset from atop the ferris wheel. As excited as I am to be able to watch the sunset, I still couldn’t get rid of this weird feeling as I watched Yuno chat with Winter and Yujin at the front of the group. Hanni seemed to notice this too.

“Girl, you look miserable,” she remarks, resting her chin on my shoulder with a sympathetic pout. “You’re supposed to be having fun.”

“I-I am having fun. This is my ‘having fun’ face.” I flash her a forced grin in a feeble attempt to mask my true feelings. Hanni sighs heavily right as we reach the front of the line.

“Each cabin only fits two people, so you’ll have to split into groups of two,” the ride operator explains. Naturally, Hyein and Haerin pair up together, waving excitedly at us as they eagerly step into the first cabin.

“Yuno, do you wanna ride together?” Yujin asks him. Before he could answer, however, Hanni takes matters into her own hands and pushes Danielle into Yujin.

“Hey Yujin, did you know Danielle is really scared of heights? She needs a big strong man protecting her while she’s up there.” Danielle silently curses at her with her eyes as Hanni pushes the duo into the next cabin. My eyes go wide with panic as I suddenly catch onto her plan.

“Winter, I love your dress! Let’s chat about it on the ferris wheel!” Hanni exclaims as she grabs Winter’s hand, pulling her towards the open doors of the cabin. Right before the doors close behind them, I catch a glimpse of Hanni flashing me a thumbs up. My heart threatened to explode from my chest as I found myself left alone with Yuno. 

“S-soooooo… U-um, do you wanna, um, I-I gues-”

“Let’s go,” Yuno utters as walks ahead of me into the cabin. I mentally facepalm, cringing at my sudden inability to formulate a coherent sentence. I step into the cabin and sit across from Yuno. As the doors seal shut, the space suddenly felt a lot smaller and more intimate. I gaze out at the orange glow of the sun to distract myself, both mortified and oddly blissful.

______________________________________________________________

Yuno’s POV

My heart kept chugging like a speeding steam train, I worried that Minji could hear it echo off the walls of the cabin. Throughout the day, I could feel her gaze lingering on me and I don’t know why. Did she wanna talk about yesterday? Was something on her mind? Was there something in my hair? Did I smell? I would’ve showered before I left the house if I knew I was gonna bump into her.

A strange feeling fills my chest as I observe the way the sunlight reflects off of her skin. The same feeling that had been haunting me for the past couple of days. Minji constantly invades my thoughts, stirring emotions I couldn’t comprehend. Everything about her felt new and strange, but I couldn’t deny that being around her made me feel happy. I drop my gaze to the floor as she turns to me, hoping she didn’t catch me staring.

“Sooo…” She began, filling the silence. “Winter seems nice.”

I tilt my head in confusion at her sudden interest in Winter. “Uh, yeah. I guess so.”

“How’d you two meet?” She asks with an odd amount of intrigue

For the most part, Minji is an open book. I never have to guess what she’s thinking or feeling, and unlike her parents, she never seems to be hiding some ulterior motive beneath a gentle exterior - until now. At first, I thought maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me, but being the open book she is, it became clear as day that Minji was hiding something. But why? Maybe it wasn’t my place to pry, but my instincts told me otherwise.

“We have english together, but we didn’t start being… ‘friends’ until a couple days ago. She and Yujin kinda just… inserted themselves into my life. And now we’re here,” I explain. Minji’s brow furrows in response.

“Wait, you only started talking a couple days ago? I thought you two were dating.” She hurriedly clasps her hand over her mouth as if she didn’t mean to let that out. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“We’re not dating,” I say a little too quickly. “Just friends.”

The cabin falls silent as both of our cheeks turn a light crimson. Minji turns back to the window, and my eyes gravitate towards her face once again as if that’s where they’re meant to be. The light and the shadows dance on her skin creating a work of art right in front of me. She’s beautiful in the most impossible way, defying everything I know about the world just by existing. My heart pumps faster and faster as my mind begins to run wild, imagining the two of us together as more than friends. Going on dates and being close. Just like this. Maybe Minji wanted to know if Winter and I were dating because she’s interested in me. I quickly shot that idea down. Those kinds of thoughts only lead down a bad road.

“My parents used to take my brother and I to the fair when we were younger,” Minji says, snapping me out of my daze. “We would go around and play all the games, trying to win the prizes. The games were always rigged, so we never won any. One time, I got so upset that I couldn’t win a bear toy that I started crying. My dad ended up paying extra just so he could get me the bear.” A gentle smile graces her face as she recounts her memory.

“We would always ride the ferris wheel at the end so we could watch the sunset from the top of the ferris wheel, just like this. I was always too short, so my dad had to hoist me up so I could see through the window.” She chuckles lightly before her smile eventually fades from her lips and her gaze falls to the floor. “Sorry, being here must have made me nostalgic. It’s been awhile since I got to watch the sunset from a ferris wheel.”

“Don’t be sorry. I like hearing you talk.” My eyes grow wide with panic as I realize the implication of my words. “I-I meant I like you. I MEAN YOUR STORY!! I liked your story…” My face falls into my palms in an attempt to hide the deepening blush, and I let out a muffled “Fuck” under my breath. I can hear Minji trying to stifle her laughter, which only makes me feel worse. I wanted nothing more than to bury myself six feet under and stay there for eternity.

“I know what you mea- AHHH!!!”

I jolt my head up right as Minji jumps from her seat and into my lap. Bewilderment, accompanied by a million other emotions, runs through my mind as she wraps her arms around my head and hides her face in the crook of my neck.

“M-Minji, uhh w-what are you-”

“There’s a spider on the seat!” She exclaims, her voice tingling with fear. I maneuver my head around her and see the tiniest spider I’ve ever seen scurrying around the spot where Minji once sat. “Ahhh, I really hate spiders!!”

I try to pry her body off of me, but her grip is tighter than an anaconda. A wave of deja vu washes over me as I suddenly start to feel lightheaded.

“M-Minji… Y-you’re choking m-me…” Right before I feel like I’m about to blackout, Minji releases her grip on my neck and slides off of my lap into the space next to me. The seat is a little cramped, but it’s better than dying in such an embarrassing way.

“I-I’M SO SORRY, YUNO!!” She apologizes, her face a bright tomato red. She flinches as the spider continues to move around on the opposite seat, wincing with each movement. “I-I really, really, really, REALLY hate spiders.”

Even after she almost choked me to death, I couldn’t help but find her cute as she shields her eyes with delicate hands, her face nestled into my shoulder. A grin threatens to grow on my lips as I try to comfort her with a few gentle pats on the head.

“I used to be afraid of spiders when I was a kid,” I began in a calming tone. “Whenever I saw one, I always cried to my parents about it. One day, I found one in the bathroom, so I ran to my mom sobbing and told her to kill it. Instead of killing it, she held me in her arms and carried me to the bathroom where it was. I was just like you, hiding my face on her shoulder because I was too scared to even look at it. In a gentle voice, she told me about how it was alone and probably looking for its family. If I killed it, then its family would be sad. She told me that she would be sad if I was suddenly killed when I was out all alone. From that day on, I was never afraid of spiders. Every time I saw one, I would carry it outside so it could find its family.” 

I chuckle under my breath. “I don’t think it actually works like that, but I don’t kill spiders because of her. Because of my mom.”

As I finish my story, I notice Minji’s eyes watering and her lip quivering as if she’s about to cry. “Ah shit, are you okay?” I ask with great concern.

“S-Sorry, that was just… really sweet,” she sniffles. I bit my lip, trying to suppress my smile as I simultaneously fought the urge to wipe her tears away. As she calms down, we sit together in silence, watching the tiny spider walk around the cabin.

“He’s just a little guy,” Minji utters, a cute grin on her face. “I wonder why I was so scared of you before.”

Just then, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I open up the notification to see a selfie of Yujin and Danielle with the giant Spiderman plush wedged in between them. Despite Danielle’s awful personality, Yujin seems to like her, so I guess it’s alright. If I didn’t know any better, I could’ve easily mistaken them for siblings.

“Aww, that’s cute. We should send one back,” Minji suggests, her eyes lighting up. 

“O-oh, uh, sure. How do I…” After a minute of hopelessly fumbling through the labyrinth of options on the screen, Minji gently takes the phone from me and opens up the camera with a simple tap.

“Do you know how to use a phone, Yuno?” She teases.

“U-uh, no…” I answer, scratching the back of my head in embarrassment. Her eyes widened with surprise at my response. “It’s my first phone, and I just got it today so I haven’t really had a chance to properly look through it.”

“O-okay, well just press on this gray square over here if you wanna open up the camera,” she explains in a kind tone, free of any judgment. She raises her arm and I can see the two of us reflected onto the screen. “Scoot a little closer so we can both be in the frame.”

With a gulp, I scoot closer to her in the already cramped space. The flowery scent of her hair wafts through my nostrils, gentle and clean. Hypnotized by the scent, I don’t realize I’m staring at her until she nudges me with her elbow.

“Look at the camera,” she reminds me, a knowing smile playing on her lips. The phone camera manages to catch the redness of my cheeks as I glance back at my reflection. Minji snaps a few shots before reviewing her work.

“They came out pretty well, don’t you think?” She inquires, and I can only nod in agreement, despite my less-than-stellar appearance in the photos. Minji, on the other hand, looks as pretty as ever. Even when she’s not doing much, the camera seems to pick up on all her good sides. She fiddles with my phone for a little bit before handing it back to me.

“Here, I put my number in so you can send me the photos,” she says. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“N-not at all,” I stutter excitedly, my heart soaring in the air. Minji giggles at my elation and we share a laugh in that cramped ferris wheel cabin. In that moment, as the sunset bathes us in its warm glow, everything falls into place. The weird feelings, the incessant thoughts - they all lead to one undeniable truth. I’m in love with Minji Kim.

______________________________________________________________

As I step out of the cabin, I see the rest of our friends waiting for us at the front of the ferris wheel. Instinctively, I reach my hand out towards Minji as she carefully steps out, which she accepts with a small grin adorning her lips. Though the contact is brief, the memory of her delicate hand in mine etches itself into my memory.

“Soooooo, did you two have fun?” Hanni asks us with an unnerving smirk that could only mean trouble. Before I get a chance to answer however, Minji grabs her wrist and leads her away.

“I-I’m going to the bathroom, Hanni you’re coming with me!” Her voice echoes as she drags Hanni away, trailed by the rest of her friends like ducklings following their mother. Perplexed, Winter, Yujin, and I settle onto a nearby bench to rest in the shade.

“The ferris wheel was fun, I took a lot of pictures of the sunset!” Yujin shares, displaying the photos on his phone. Almost his entire gallery was full of sun from slightly varying angles, along with a few selfies with Danielle. Her gentler side she exclusively shows to Yujin is such a stark contrast from her usual coldness, it’s almost unsettling.

“I feel exhausted.” Winter slumps beside me, her head tilting to the side as if she was too tired to even hold it up. “Hanni is really nice, but I felt so drained after talking to her for five minutes. I don’t know where she gets all that energy from.” I quietly snicker to myself. That seems on brand for Hanni.

My mind wanders back to the epiphany I had earlier. “Um, can I ask you two something… odd?” Their heads perk up, looking at me expectantly. “Have you guys ever… ‘dated’ anyone before?”

“I’ve had crushes before, but I was always too scared to confess,” Yujin admits.

“What about you, Winter? Have you ever had a boyfriend?” I ask.

“Um, not exactly…” With a hint of reluctance, she retrieves her phone from her purse, revealing a polaroid tucked in her phone case -  a snapshot of Winter with her arms wrapped around a girl with striking eyes and jet black hair.

Both of our jaws drop, simultaneously shocked and impressed.

“Oh shit…” I mutter before coming to my senses. She’s pretty, but not Minji pretty.

“Wow, that’s your girlfriend, Winter?!” Yujin exclaims. Winter smiles shyly as she puts her phone back in her purse.

“Y-yeah. She’s studying in Japan right now, so I don't get to see her often. I hope she visits soon; I think you guys would get along with her really well.” The look on her face as she thinks of her girlfriend reminds me of my mother’s face in old wedding photos. I don’t understand anything about love or relationships, but that face told me everything I needed to know. “Why did you want to know, Yuno?”

My cheeks suddenly turn warm. “Oh, uh… No reason.”

As if on cue, Minji and the rest of her friends return from the restroom, with Minji looking noticeably flustered and Hanni more excited than ever.

“It’s getting dark, so we were planning on heading back,” Danielle says. “Do you guys need a ride home?”

“O-oh, it’s okay, w-we were gonna take the subway home,” Winter replies.

“WAIT!” Yujin shouts suddenly before turning to her. “Winter, can we ride with them? Pleaseeeeee?” He grabs her sleeve and looks up at her with pleading eyes. 

“I-I guess if it’s okay with them.” “WOOHOO!” Yujin cheers. “I call shotgun!” He dashes toward the parking lot, his Spiderman plush bobbing in his arms.

“Hey, that’s my seat!” Hanni exclaims, running after him. In the midst of commotion, I sneak over to Minji.

“H-hi,” I stutter, brimming with nervous excitement.

“H-hey.” Even with the sun completely set, her smile manages to illuminate everything around us. Maybe it’s just my imagination, but the air felt different compared to the times we’ve talked before. That strange yet euphoric feeling still lingers in my chest, this time I finally know what that feeling is - I think. Maybe it’s love, maybe it’s the fumes of fried food decaying my brain. The only thing I know for sure is that I like being around Minji.

“Are you two going to come with us or no?” Hyein calls out to us while Haerin glares suspiciously in our direction. Flustered, we walk side by side towards the parking lot, following distantly behind the rest of the group. The scattered murmurs of the crowd begin to fade behind us, the chirping of crickets and the subtle crunching of rocks underneath our feet taking their place. An ombre of growing indigo looks down at us from a cloudless sky, dotted with specks of starlight thousands of lightyears away. Despite their distance, they shine brightly against the night sky, almost as bright as the girl walking next to me.

“Yuno,” Minji voice breaks through my daydreams, pulling me back to the present. “You’re staring.”

“Ah… Sorry…” I turn my head away to hide the heat creeping up my face, prompting a soft giggle from her.

“You know, you’re not what I expected at all.”

Curious, I turn my gaze back towards her. “What do you mean?”

Her eyebrows furrow as she thinks about her response, and I bite my lower lip to stifle my smile at her cute expression. “Ever since sophomore year, I’ve always heard whispers about this scary guy that goes around fighting people. I never believed it because I thought it was too cliche to be true,” she begins, shooting me a playful glance I scratch the back of my head, suddenly feeling sheepish. 

“That is, until two years later, when I come face to face with the ‘scary guy’, all bloody and bruised from a fight that happened two seconds ago. When I first met you, I thought you were some jerk who liked hurting others for the fun of it. I was wrong and I’m sorry.” Minji looks up at me, eyes full of remorse. I’ve seen others use this look on the people I’ve hurt, but never on me. To be on the receiving end of it felt disconcerting.

“You don’t have to apolog-”

“You’re kind and caring and you never hesitate to stand up for what’s right even when no one else will. While I don’t agree with your methods, I think the reason why you fight is very admirable, and if people just stopped being scared of you for two seconds, they could see how cute of a person you are.” Her hand shoots up to her mouth while her eyes go wide with panic.

Did I hear her right? Did she just call me… cute??

“I MEANT GOOD!!” She exclaims, correcting herself. “I meant to say you’re a good person…” We stand there, turned away from each other, too embarrassed to fill the growing silence. The chorus of crickets is quickly drowned out by my heartbeat echoing in my ears. My entire body feels both uncomfortably warm and freezing cold at the same time. The sudden honk of a car horn makes us both jump. 

“What are you two still doing? Let’s go!” I turn to see Hanni yell at us from the back seat of an SUV. It seems that Yujin got to the front seat first. Minji and I both trudge towards the car, too embarrassed to even look at each other. Hanni steps out of the car and reclines the seat forward to let us get into the back, where Winter is sitting alone with two empty seats on either side of her. 

As we settle in the back seat, I immediately shut my eyes, hoping that falling asleep would make things better. One final thing stays in my mind as I slip into unconsciousness.

She thinks I’m cute.

______________________________________________________________

A gentle shake rouses me from my slumber.

“Yuno, we’re here,” I hear Winter say as my eyes slowly open, finding my bearings. Outside the window, I see the convenience store where Winter works at.

“Winter said you guys live around here, so I hope you don’t mind,” Danielle explains from the front seat. Minji and Hanni step out of the car, allowing for Winter and I to exit.

“See you guys around,” Hanni says, waving goodbye. My eyes meet Minji’s momentarily before we swiftly break away. Not even a second of eye contact and I can already feel my body temperature rising.

“Thanks for the ride! Byeeeeee!” Yujin exclaims as the car disappears down the street. The three of us say our goodbyes to each other before we go our separate ways.

A flurry of emotions fills my stomach as I look back on the oddly eventful day. What started as an excuse to get out of the house turned into my first time at the fair, with Minji no less. I couldn’t help but feel like I’m in some surreal dream and that I’ll wake up one day to find out that none of this ever happened. As odd as all of this feels, I have to admit that I did enjoy it. The ferris wheel especially was… fun.

As I enter my house, I see my dad sitting on the couch, watching some sitcom on the TV. Right. I completely forgot he’s “different” now.

“Hey, Yuno,” he greets, a bright smile on his face. It’s the first time in a while that I’ve seen his smile. “Did you eat? There’s leftover pizza in the fridge if you’re hungry. I tried to cook dinner, but it didn’t turn out right.” A hearty chuckle leaves his lips, a sound that I vaguely remember hearing years ago. 

“I’m good. Thanks,” I say as I head towards the stairs. As my foot lands on the first step, a sudden impulse arises within me. “Uh, dad?”

“Hm?” His eyebrows perk up as he looks at me expectantly. I had no idea what I was planning on saying to him. Should I tell him about my day? Should I apologize? Should I tell him about my… “crush”? Is that what that is?

“Uh… Nevermind.” I hurry up the stairs, deciding against saying anything. My head was already filled to the brim with confusing emotions, I didn’t need to add more to the pile. I collapse onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling, the events of today playing in my mind like a broken record. I pull my phone out, fidgeting with the shiny piece of metal in my hand. Minji put her number in my phone. I can talk to her whenever I wanted to. And I do want to. My thumbs freeze right above the keyboard as I figure out what to say to her.

Maybe I should keep it simple with “Hey”. No, that’s too boring. How about “How are you feeling?” What am I, her doctor? Uhhh, maybe “I had fun today.” That’s stupid. Come on, think, Yuno, think. Fuck, I’m shit at this.

Is this what having a crush feels like? This sucks.

______________________________________________________________

Minji’s POV

“AGHHHHHHHHH!!!!” I scream into my pillow, hoping I don’t accidentally alert my parents to my “Teenage Angst”.

Minji!!! Why did you call him cute!? I mean, you’re not wrong, the way he got all embarrassed after missing the basketball hoop was kinda cut- WHAT!? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN THINKING RIGHT NOW!? ARGHHHHHH!!!

I hold onto my bear toy for comfort as I wrestle with the conflicting emotions in my head. Maybe this is just a result of all the stress from prom preparation clouding my judgement and sending me into a whirlwind of confusion. A day that was supposed to be full of leisure and enjoyment was instead full of jealousy and confusion. It wasn’t entirely bad though; riding the ferris wheel with Yuno was… nice. I feel my heart flutter in my chest as I recall that memory. Surely, Hanni’s teasing couldn’t be right… could it? Am I… in love with Yuno Lin?

[jabberwondia]

【the next step】 【part 2】 RIDDLE x READER, NSFW

Part 1 is here.

The proverbial "next time".

Riddle Rosehearts x Female Reader, 18+. Fluff, sexual intimacy (explicit), consensual.

Worrying about failing a test, botching that one high note at the recital, or stammering throughout the graduation speech are all examples of performance anxiety. The thought of failing and the looming overshadow it casts on the far-off dream of success – to a lot of people, it can be paralyzing. To counter it, you dwell on all the possibilities before that something can even come to pass, methodically going through worst-case scenarios in your head; at the time, they all seem more like prophecies.

Contrary to what his occasionally fiery mood swings might suggest, Riddle Rosehearts was a fairly confident and composed person, and never suffered from nerves before a test, recital or speech. The roots of his self-assurance were practice, diligence and rules. No test would ever be scary if you had revised hard enough, no note unreachable if practiced frequently enough, and no speech impossible if rehearsed enough. Rules provided a frame which allowed little flexibility, which meant more provable, safe results.

This, however, was different. There was no way to prepare for it. Any guides on the subject would generally say, ‘Let it flow’, and honestly that’s what he believed he had done -or at least tried to do- last time, when you were catching your breath, spread on top of his lap. He had purposefully, repeatedly, attempted to forget all about it – but every time his phone buzzed with one of your messages, he was sorely reminded of everything he did, and specially of what he didn’t do.

‘Would it be so bad if it were... planned?’ he pondered. But it’s not like those words would ever leave his mouth, and he truly did care about you, so he was not about to insult your integrity by suggesting something as unrefined as “Hey baby, let’s get it on”.

Sigh. It hardly seemed like the topic you could trust friends with, either. “What should I do?” he wanted to ask, but the fear of getting humiliated in return was too real. Or at least, it was inside Riddle’s head, as however certain he could be in social situations, one of his most recurring nightmares included screwing up an easy spell, getting laughed at, then yelled at by his mother, and, finally, falling through the void (in that order).

“Next time,” he had told Floyd. Why did he do that? Whatever the hell did that mean? Not unlike enlisting New Year resolutions and telling everyone you started working out – in a way, the contract behind your words binds you to turn them into action. Riddle really wish he hadn’t, and to be fair, Floyd hadn’t even asked about it since – but the thought alone was eating away at him.

Alone in his room, he had, at long last, drafted up the end-all, be-all of text-based conversation.

Riddle Rosehearts: “Hello! 🌹 What are you doing for the break? I’ll pass on going home this time, I think. We can expect an exceptionally hot summer this year, and I’m worried about the hedgehogs.”

And then, greatly contingent on your answer, but – hopefully – the next sentence would be:

“If you’re free sometime, would you like to stay the night?”

‘Stay the night’ was a much more suitable euphemism for what he wanted to say. It was short, and sweet, and left the possibility of nothing happening, which was important. The main problem with it is that it broke quite a few rules, but most notoriously: the rules that stated students from other schools were not allowed inside the dorms past curfew, and that non-alumni needed a special permission to enter in the first place. Well, uh, and also the fact that he was trying to bring a girl to sleepover to an all-boys school. After one law had been violated, the rest of transgressions just seemed like silly, collateral damage. This is why he was a stickler for codes and regulations – being unyielding did, in fact, protect the system from falling apart all at once.

The hedgehog excuse also worked well, and even his mother had believed it and granted him permission to stay all summer on campus.

The first text is an easy one to send. If, for any reason, Riddle feels like he needs to call the whole thing off, he can just invite you to a Tea Party, or suggest a date in the park. The break begins next weekend, and it’s a perfect time because the school will be mostly empty and free of prying eyes. And if you are too busy to catch up, spending a quiet summer caring for the hedgehogs doesn’t sound too bad either.

Y/N: “oh hey! 😊 poor darlings🦔 it’s good they have a very kind caretaker💓 yeah, I read somewhere we were reaching record temperatures. thankfully it’s not so bad inside our dorm. i’ll go home, but only from the second week onwards”

Which leaves a week in between to... to...

Riddle opens up his drafts once again. All he has to do is copy, paste and hope for the best. But as he’s proof-reading, it occurs to him that maybe “sleepover” is better than “stay the night” – which one sounds more casual? Ugh, his hands are starting to feel icy cold and unresponsive. The weight on his chest is getting bigger.

Y/N: “we should meet up before I leave! 😊 i can help take care of the hedgehogs if you need a hand?"

Oh my Queen. A second, continuous text from you was not in the original plan. So now what? Well, he could still brave through and –ahem– suggest his suggestion. Hell, if he was so paralyzed at a text, there’s no way he could actually sleep with you, even if you did come over.

Riddle does not want you to help take care of the hedgehogs. Or rather, that is so trivial right now, that he wishes you could forget about it, and words to be undone.

Riddle Rosehearts: “I couldn’t possibly ask that! Hedgehogs are nocturnal, so you’d have to come in pretty late.”

Riddle is quick to type and send, but then gasps when he realizes the meaning. It can be taken two ways: either that he wants you to come in late, ergo, wants to get in your pants and is cowardly suggesting it; or he does not want you anywhere near the dorm at night, which, eh, kind of resets all the progress made in this conversation.

Y/N: “oh, right 😊 the school has rules against that, lol”

It’s getting more and more impossible to recover from this, like a rowing boat trying to maneuver through a river of chocolate fudge.

The draft that is waiting in his copy clipboard now makes no sense. “If you’re free sometime, would you like to stay the night?” is no longer applicable to this flow of the conversation. But he needs to find a way around it, or else it’s back to square one.

Riddle takes a very, very deep breath. Face red, fingers trembling, he manages to write:

Riddle Rosehearts: “Actually, don’t worry about the hedgehogs. It takes time to build trust with them anyways. But on that note, would you like to stay over sometime? Feel free to say no.”

That last part sounds incredibly weak and lacking in courage. He erases it and types it again a couple of times until deciding in favor of leaving it as-is – the fact that you don’t feel pressured is, after all, of utmost importance to him.

And yeah, “stay over” sounds better than sleeping or staying the night, so let’s stick to that.

When the message pops on your side of the screen, your sight paces back and forth at least twenty times, doubting the verity of your own eyes or reading comprehension. After last time, and how nonchalantly it had ended, you thought for sure that Riddle had been distancing himself from you, and that you had crossed a boundary that was hard to backtrack from. That is exactly why, truth be told, you were relieved when he initiated casual conversation as if nothing had happened. The struggle was mixing all these pure, affectionate, innocent emotions he made you feel with the raw Eros of whatever last study session was, and it had left you more confused than ever.

But hey, you tell yourself. Nothing needs to happen. I can just sleep. We can cuddle, and that’s it.

It seems you are taking all too long to answer, because his chat box pops up again.

Riddle Rosehearts: “I want to see you.”

Riddle was really good in situations reigned by protocol. He was the best social dancer you’d ever seen, and the way he’d guided you while waltzing through an interscholastic dance had been dreamlike. He’d open doors for you and escort you to your school gates; he was always eager to send over a study guide or offer some academic advice. But “I want to see you” and “I miss you” were words rarely uttered.

Filled with a newfound courage, you text back:

Y/N: “i'd love to! is friday ok? 😊”

Getting into Heartslabyul is always a challenge. You’d need to either come over during the daytime and then purposefully miss curfew, or you’d have to find a way to sneak in just before the gates are closed for the night. As a housewarden from a rival school, your face is somewhat known within the Night Raven College students, and while it’s not exactly a secret that you’re dating the Heartslabyul sovereign, you’d rather if people did not know you were planning on staying the night, for the Seven’s sakes!

If this were an eventful holiday, like Halloween celebrations or a friendly Spelldrive tournament, inter-school visits were more easily forgivable. There were plenty of ways to score a guest pass and walk around freely. But an outsider going around the dorm at night, on a normal school day? Now, that is just fishy.

You devised a plan of which the success depended on how fast Riddle could find you and then rush to his room. And you know he hated running in the hallways.

Your Signature Spell, “Drink Me”, as tongue-in-cheek as it sounded, allowed you to change an object or person in size for a very small period of time. Theoretically, if this was used on yourself and your clothes, you could become hedgehog-sized in seconds. And then, all would Riddle need to do is transport you in his shirt pocket. Simple enough, right?

As you head through the motions of the plan, you realize how utterly embarrassing it is. First, you would need to decide on a set of coordinates where Riddle would find your miniaturized self. He needs to pick you up, basically engulfing you with both hands. You are then to fit inside his pocket, and this meant that his heartbeat would sound like thunderstorms in the summer sky (a by-product of you being so small). And because you’d turn back in 5 minutes, he needs to rush to his room and take you out of the pocket, lest you grow back to normal and rip his prized uniform shirt apart.

There could be some repercussions. Usually, your Signature Spell required of a catalyst – you would use homemade soda for the shrinking spell and cookies for the enlarging spell – so as to keep the side effects at bay, and make the desired transformation last longer (a maximum of an hour). Very rarely you’d cast them directly from your pen to the object in question, unless you wanted or needed consequences to be more immediate and short-lived. In this case, staying small for a whole hour was not exactly the most enticing of options, and gorging on enlarging cookies while the effects of the fizzy shrinking drink hadn’t yet subsided always resulted in nausea, an upset stomach and a fever (you know – you’ve tried before). So, the only viable option was cast and run: a plan problematic in and of itself, but the only chance you had to access the property unnoticed. Ah, if only Chen’ya could teach you how to disappear at will.

When you suggested all of this over the phone, Riddle was flabbergasted. It was hard to tell which is more mortifying – carrying you around like a portable magic pen, or having you enter the dorm life-size and risk a student seeing you enter his room at night.

Eventually, after much persuasion, he had agreed to meet you at the outskirts of the Heartslabyul forest, which was exactly five minutes away from his quarters.

It’s the first meeting since the, uh, lap-sitting incident, and you are both quite self-conscious still. You wave and smile at his approaching figure, but he hurriedly hushes, “Quick! Before anyone sees you.”

Pointing a shaky pen to your chest, you take a deep breath. “Here goes. Drink Me!”

If the feeling could be compared to anything, you’d say it kind of reminds you of a balloon deflating – air gushing out, spiraling as it swirls until it reaches the floor. A kaleidoscope in which the senses become filled all at once, as the world around you is so big, and you’re now so small. The only good part is that, because your height and weight also decrease in proportion, having a parasol ready allows you to float tenderly for the last couple of inches, and the fall is never too abrupt.

Riddle is now... huge. I mean, wow there, Y/N, witty observation. But he really is, and even the act of him crouching to get closer to you shakes the whole ground like an earthquake. He stares at you, two fingers pressed on his lips, pondering if he should lift you up by the collar... but no, no, that’s too ungracious.

So, he offers the palm of his hand. You know that even if you talked at this size, your tiny micro lungs are not enough to produce enough sound to reach him properly, so you keep quiet and climb up his thumb.

When Riddle brings you up to the height of his pocket, it’s like that one Twisneyland attraction that you rode together once, the scary one with the elevator which you had hated with every fiber of your heart as you held on to your boyfriend’s arm screaming – and he wasn’t too keen on thrill rides, either, but had tried to put on a brave face for your sake.

“Are you alright?” he beckons, in a normal tone for him, but it’s like a cacophony ripping apart at your miniature eardrums. You put your hands over your ears. “—sorry! So sorry,” he reduces his voice to a whisper.

Plopping yourself into the pocket, you fall all the way in, roughly reaching the middle while standing straight. You are way smaller than hedgehog size at this point, comparable to a miniature doll of only a few centimeters high. “Hang in there,” he says.

By the sudden swaying, like a seism about to tear the face of the Earth, you assume that Riddle has set course for his room. The countdown starts.

As luck would have it, everyone and their mother is out to get the Headwarden today. He gets stopped at least thrice, mostly about silly stuff such as the shipment for flamingo food or the rundown for the next unbirthday party. It’s impressive how many students are still in the dorm, really –don’t these people have anything else better to do?– their voices are so loud you can barely make out the conversations, instead just catching the keywords. You have both hands pressed against your ears, eyes closed, trying to avoid sensory overload. At least this goes to show there is no way you could have gotten into Heartslabyul unnoticed if you were your proper size.

After many unwanted interruptions, time was running out for the both of you. The de-transformation would start coming in little bursts, where you’d feel your body a little bigger each time. The transpired, stuffy white fabric of that pocket was sure starting to feel a little tight, and now you could almost peek over the hem on your tiptoes.

“Riddle!” is your hurried plead, but he’s going as fast as humanly possible, as fast as anyone can go while still avoiding attention.

When he’s at the doorstep, it feels the seams won’t hold any longer. To the best of your ability, you lift yourself using your arms, trying to squeeze up and out. He fumbles with the key, breath visibly agitated, until he remembers he can just use magic, and can finally, triumphantly, open the door and slam it shut.

“Y/N!” he beckons, in a panic, looking for you to jump on his palm again so he can plop you onto the ground.

“No time! Throw me on the bed!” you squeak, unsure of how much of your speech is currently intelligible. Riddle catches the gist of it, and grabs you by the first thing he can pinch, which is the hem of your skirt, as you’re now dangling outside his pocket, barely not small enough to fit back in.

And next thing you know, he is flinging you like a Spelldrive disk towards his bed; with a loud “poof”, you transform mid-air and land headfirst, full size, cartwheeling on his mattress. Your skirt is flung open, you’ve lost both shoes somewhere along the way, you’re all tangled in on yourself, but at least you are finally safe, and neither Riddle’s shirt nor reputation have been ruined.

Adjusting your sitting position, you first make sure all parts have grown back to size. After all, it’s not unheard of for the effect to last longer on some objects or body parts than others. A quick check assures you that you’re back to normal – all over, that is. You turn to Riddle, who is watching you from the edge of the bed, hand over his mouth, his expression between bemusement and bewilderment.

A stifled laugh that you can’t seem to contain breaks the silence, and it’s like springing open a can of worms, because the redhead giggles a little, too, and then the whole situation becomes too funny to hold it in. Soon he’s laughing tears out of his eyes, unable to speak in full sentences.

“You — you really became pocket size. Right here! You were right here!” He gasps for air between chuckles, pointing at his chest pocket. “I can’t believe... really can’t... ahaha!”

“Hehe, that was some adventure,” you agree. And it’s not like you’re not laughing yourself, but your turn to your boyfriend, and the sight of him fills your chest with a strange warmth, so much that it quiets your laughter. You’d rarely ever seen such a playful, childlike expression; he keeps cry-laughing uncontrollably, wiping his eyes and clutching at his stomach; a hint of relaxation in his ever-so-stiff posture.

His giggle fit starts settling down, and then it dawns on you.

“Oh, no, we need to go through this exact same process tomorrow!” you say, pinching the bridge of your nose.

Tomorrow. He liked the sound of that. It made the fact that you’re staying over more official.

“We’ll think of something by then,” he states.

The rush to close the door and prop you out of the pocket as fast as possible meant that the room was still dim. Because you had landed on his bed, there you were sitting upright in its dead center; suddenly feeling a rush of pink on your cheeks, as the whole Drink Me situation had acted as a deterrent to the actual elephant in the room: the fact that you were here to sleep over and that you had both been so nervous up until that point.

Riddle’s bleary eyes flicker in the twilight, still a soft smile on his lips.

“That was nice,” you grin. “It’d been a while since I last saw you laugh.”

“Oh, come now. Am I really that serious all the time?”

You struggle to find the words. “It’s like... like you’re always worried about something. Not that I blame you—"

“Huh,” he retorts before you can continue. “Well, even I can find something that tickles my funny bone, every now and then.”

He’s now frowning and pouting and just... standing there, as if still hesitant to join you in bed. After all, Riddle was quick to notice that you had made no effort to stand up, and now is wondering what the next step is. It’s not like he had planned any activities for you to do that night – maybe watching a movie on your phones? ...playing card games? Or just go straight to sleep? In the end, he could decide on none and the Day Of came to happen before he could devise a plan, something he dreaded from the bottom of his heart. His whole life was set in rules, set in stone tablets, and now he had to somehow improvise.

“I’m not worried,” he says, pensive, then adds: “Not when I’m with you, at least.”

“Liar,” you accuse him, to which he looks rather offended, albeit playfully so. “By now, you’re probably thinking, ‘What’s comes next?’ — well, aren’t you?”

His expression gives him away immediately. For such a well-postured, well-mannered person, Riddle tends to be a bit transparent. “H-how did you –”

“—it’s because I’m thinking the same thing, too,” you admit. “This is hard, isn’t it?”

It’s not a question. In no unclear terms, last time you’d met had been the very first instance of feeling each other’s bodies, and along came the realization that you are dating and it’s perfectly okay for you to do so. And now you’re subconsciously running your fingers through his velvety red, quilted duvet; and Riddle is still paralyzed a few steps away from the bed. You are not the boldest person out there; and he seems to be bold for anything except for this.

“Agreed,” he muses. Again, he’s like on the outside looking in – it’s that anxious feeling that never goes away, back to the little boy and the cakes he’d never eat.

“This is so awkward to say out loud,” you muster up some courage. “But I’ll try.”

“—yes?”

“I don’t care what we do today. I get to be with you, and that’s enough.”

...oh. Riddle can feel his heart doing a summersault. Being filled to the brim with love like this is something he is not accustomed to. It’s like he’s back to your warm embrace and the rhythmic breathing of your clothed chest, like digging his fingers in your back again, and feeling you return the squeeze. Every single waking moment, and hell, even while sleeping, he goes back to that evening. But he struggles to return your words, hesitant and meditative, staring at the floor.

“Riddle?”

“—yes?”

“Are you okay?”

He’s not. He’s fed up with himself. Scared of this new situation to which he doesn’t have a manual for. Terrified of underperforming and disheartening you.

“Of course,” he lies through his teeth. You are still fully clothed, so all he can see are your knees and calves, from where the skirt of your uniform ends and the socks begin. It’s not remotely erotic at all, yet he’s burning all over. You notice his eyes traveling up and down, trying to take the sight of you in.

You can’t be sure, but deep inside, you intuited that if you both feel the same, then he wants it as much as you do. But then again, pressuring your boyfriend is something you would never, ever venture to do – like a hedgehog himself, he was always quick to spike up to prevent you from poking at his vulnerability. He’d get angry or annoyed or sulky, only to quickly apologize later. So, you are not brave enough to ask, but the least you can do is initiate the scene – like the character that utters the first lines in a play, setting the mood and the proceeds in motion.

Hands, your own, travel to the elastic on your socks, as you slide them off slowly, one by one. Your feet get adjusted to the soft duvet, now feeling it on your bare skin, and you can’t help but notice how utterly cold your toes are – might be from the air conditioning, might be from the nerves. Riddle gasps audibly and clutches at his chest.

You look up at him, as he’s still standing immobilized in his spot. Fine. You’ll venture one more step past the proverbial line of his defenses, then.

Not unlike his, your school uniform consists of a white shirt with a tie or ribbon, at the student’s free choice of whichever. The ribbon on your neck is striped light blue and white, with a small coat of arms applique that depicts a teacup floating in a bottle full of tears. With a quick tug, you undo it, then the first button of your collar, all while keeping eye contact with your boyfriend – it feels like the sound of your own heartbeat is going to deafen you at this point.

Riddle takes a step in your direction, fully flushed, although you can barely tell through the room submerged in the summer dusk. But he stops just by the edge of the bed, frozen again. His is quite the big mattress, and he will need to crawl to you if he wants to reach you. Close, yet so far.

You press your lips together, at the attempt to regain some moisture: your mouth feels dry and trembling all over. Even so, you use the last bit of courage to undo one more button – completely innocuous, as this barely only reveals your collarbone.

“Stop,” he beckons, scaring you for a second. Seeming so desperate, filled with regret. “Don’t.”

“Oh.” Maybe it had been too much? You dread having pushed the Heartslabyul warden too far. “I’m sorry—”

“—no.” He takes a deep breath. “I mean, let me do it.”

Riddle climbs into the bed, knee first. His hand is reaching for your face, slate grey eyes full of adoration, and in turn, you unbalance him by pulling at both his arms, so he stumbles on top of you. Bumping heads at the fall, now faces only an inch away.

“Riddle—”

“—shh. Quit staring.”

But you’re not really, as your eyelids are drooping over, lost in the moment. It doesn’t matter, though. It’s so like him to want to have the last word.

As usual, it’s a peck on the lips, albeit a bit longer and hungrier; he then kisses your cheek, and now the question is what comes next and how the familiar pattern will be broken. To your surprise, you feel two nibbles on your neck, just below your jaw at first and then close to your throat. One leg has snuck in between yours, pressing slightly, the weight of his bony hips digging into your thigh.

He’s always fixing other students’ uniforms, so maybe that’s where it comes from, but he has unexpected skill in unbuttoning your shirt all the way through. But he’s taking it slow and steady, because every single new flash of skin is just killing him on the inside, building up fire within.

Pushing up with one arm, he uses the other to take your hand and give it a kiss, then a tug as he prods you to turn around, softly undressing one sleeve, and reaching for the clasp of your brassiere. Is this too sudden? He’s filled with worry, but push comes to shove, and his instincts urge him to keep going. He needs both hands to do this, causing him to promptly level forward, his mouth caressing your naked shoulder plates. And with one quick snap, you’re out of your bra, though it still lingers lazily on top of your breasts, as you adjust on your back once more.

Riddle realizes – he can almost peek – y-you’re half-naked, writhing beneath him, and –

“—hey,” you call softly, smiling with a tint of self-consciousness as you reach a hand for his cheek. “C-can I...?”

Can I take your clothes off, too? – is what you mean to say, but the words can’t seem to leave your mouth. Curses. Leaving the question unasked, you tug at his striped necktie, and his fingers follow yours, together undoing his shirt buttons all the way to his waist. He’s using a white, paper-thin t-shirt underneath, so you can make the shape of his nipples through it. More lightly clothed than ever, the sudden rush of shame gets the best out of you, and your gut reaction is to pull him into a full embrace, arms clasped around his neck.

Riddle stops for a moment, melting into your hold. You cannot see eye to eye right now, but you can clearly hear each other’s heartbeat. After a moment of hesitation, he kisses you again. It’s sloppy and uncharacteristic of him, but he wants to eat you whole and has no way of hiding it. Uncertain, his hand travels down your neck, feeling your collarbone, and hovering for a few instants where your bra is – unbound, it is no more than a decoration on top of your chest, and he pushes it aside.

“Ah,” he exclaims, almost unwillingly. Your breasts are oscillating up and down with your breathing, your lips are swollen and dyed a madder red, and you just look so beautiful.

“Now you quit staring,” you snap back.

“Hah,” he laughs raspingly. “Who do you think you’re talking to? You’ve got some nerve.”

You smile so wide your cheeks hurt, glad that he’s finally back to his normal self, setting aside all the anxiety and worry. Well, mostly. Of course, some worries are still in the way, but they continue melting as the heat rises – it’s impossible not to give into the moment and fondle your breasts. You let out a little yelp.

“Ah – does it hurt?” he frowns, worried, unable to gauge your reaction. Sure, he made a point to read a few erotic novels in an attempt to prepare for what should be expected for this situation –ugh, perish the thought of anyone finding those hidden at the bottom of his drawer– but truth be told, he still had no idea how rough or how gentle he should be.

“No,” you assured. “It feels good.”

“Show me where.”

At his request, you guide his hand with yours, back to your chest; and strengthen your grip, instructing him to squeeze ever so slightly. His leg, or rather, his knee presses against you, separating your legs further apart, sending a wave of electricity throughout your body. The goddamned skirt is still in the way, but you can’t muster up enough lucidity to concentrate and remove it, moaning and twitching below him.

Riddle must have read your mind, because he shifts his hands to the zipper on your skirt instead, and his mouth starts moving down and away from your neck. Your first reflex –completely involuntary, mind you– is to cross your arms and cover up your breasts, as if it made any difference at this point. His eyes move up to yours, worried again.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No!” –well, now you’re making less sense than the Queen’s Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat poem– “It’s just... ah...”

He understands. Neither of you want it to end, and yet moving forward is just as scary. Before this, when you first started dating, he used to be able to listen to his inside voice when he kissed you. Or rather, he was forced to listen to it, by his own brain – like a switch you can’t turn off, he’d count the number of kisses and always follow the same pattern. His head was constantly yapping at him, keeping track of time so as to not be late for the 5 PM tea, or telling him to compulsively fix your uniform. But since he had climbed on top of you ten minutes earlier, he has not heard his inner voice, not even once. He could not keep count of how many kisses and nibbles he’d placed all over your collarbone, shoulders, inner elbows and wrists; softly motioning you to let go and uncross your arms. And the sheer fact of losing control was terrifying, yet it felt so good.

That being said, when faced with your bare chest, and the zipper on your skirt lowered but still not removed, Riddle feels a flash of clarity and stops dead on his tracks. There she is, the girl he loves, half-dressed, gorgeous, breasts perking up, but there is one thing that doesn’t quite feel right.

“Come here.” He props you up, helping you sit. He moves the hair off your face and pats your head. “I’ll– I’ll take off the rest of my clothes, too.”

It’s not as embarrassing if it’s the two of you, is his reasoning. And it was important for him that this wasn’t one-sided.

“—you wha– you will?” Not at your brightest nor most eloquent, you’re taken aback by his sudden assertiveness, again crossing your arms in front of your chest. He’s halfway through the zipper of his black school pants when he stops to look at you, face fully flushed.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” he mumbles guiltily, his delivery harshly contrasting with his words. “You know I hate that.” Feigning authority and playful anger, part of him is trying to be a tease, yet still unsure how.

A giggle escapes your lips. “Shame you’re not wearing the dorm uniform today.”

“—ah.” He notices in that same moment. Had he been so nervous he completely mixed up his clothes today? As the last layers were coming off and he was sitting there in his underwear, he realized it didn’t matter.

“Wait, what is it about the dorm uniform?”

“Heh. Just – the heels,” you blurt out. “They’re kind of... –ah, I’m not gonna say it.”

The idle talk is not important. All you can focus on is how his porcelain skin contrasts with the crimson quilting, and he’s blushing head to toe, like a white rose poorly stained with red paint. Actually, you meant to say the heels turned you on (come on, admit it, just a little?), but halfway through the sentence you noticed you could not be any more aroused, and then he fell on top of you again, and your head emptied completely of thoughts. His hand now presses between your legs, and you wonder where your skirt went – it had been on you just a second before, right?

“Riddle,” you gasp, knowing the fabric of your underwear is betraying you and giving away how wet you are. You have no doubt he can feel it too. And he wishes you wouldn’t call his name, not like that – do you have any idea what you’re doing to him? His fingers are caressing you softly, and it truly feels like you might burst even though you’re just getting started. His face is close to yours, jaw shivering in a cold sweat, even though it feels like there must be a hundred degrees in the darkness of the room. And while he’s helping your orgasm build up, thumb toying with you gently, he can’t help but wonder if your skin feels just as good to the direct touch as it feels through your panties, and how is it that even the parts of you he never knew are all so perfect. It seems slightly unfair, he muses, that you could be this flawless without even trying – but then you wince a little, possibly lost in pleasure, and Riddle starts worrying again.

“Are you okay?” his words feel moist close to your ear.

“Hm-mm.”

“Relax your arms.”

And the second you do, he moves back down again, slobbering kisses all over your neck and chest. While seemingly rawer and more animal than ever, he’s still attentively measuring your reactions, and finds you gasp the loudest when he sucks on your breasts. So, he teases them for a while, circling slowly with his tongue, then softly and toothlessly pinching the stiff center with his lips; he repeats from left breast to right, slowly, deliberately, back and forth, with a sort of rhythmic cadence. Focus, Riddle reminds himself, as his own erection is throbbing painfully. But he’s determined to devote to you first and foremost.

“May I–”

“Yes. Please,” you beg, not even sure what you are agreeing to, but realizing it might as well not matter anymore.

Struggling to open your eyes, you force yourself into keeping alert just so you can take in the view of your raggedly breathing boyfriend, peeking up from the curves between your breasts, hand on the inside of your underwear and soaking his slender fingers inside, applying even pressure. He is amused at the sight of how effortlessly they go in and out, assisted by your moisture, so much so that he forgets about your breasts for a moment. Your voice brings his attention back, however.

“I – I can’t...”

“It’s okay. Don’t hold it in”, he reassures, but maybe he is also talking to himself, as Riddle is always the type to exceed in self-restraint. You are melting, becoming undone with a touch of his hand and he cannot get enough of how it feels – to hear you panting and moaning, to know he will soon be able to press inside you and fill you with his length. It’s an unfamiliar, weird, wonderful thing – not quite like he had imagined, but perfect all the same. Your chest is responsive to his every kiss, and now his fingers have gotten faster and heavier. He can feel you close and is living for it.

“Riddle, I –”

“You’re so beautiful,” he gasps breathily, finally able to be honest with himself. “Don’t hold back. It’s all right.”

“Riddle. Riddle? I’m – I ––”

“––Y/N,” he chuckles, and his touch becomes even more merciless. Your hard nipples cannot possibly take any more kisses. “You’re so adorable.”

It’s not like you need any more stimulation, but as he says this, his mouth is full of one breast and hand cupping the other, and you can clearly see it all, from his heavy-lidded slate grey eyes to his dark red eyelashes, all focused on you as he’s making your sex squeak with wet sounds, pushing down just underneath your navel as his fingers throb and sting inside you.

“Please. Don’t stop.”

He won’t. He’s not the type to tease you like that. Your toes are curling in a frenzy as your legs swing inevitably open, and pretty soon you’re incoherently giving into the thrusting of his hand, and his lips have not left your breasts for one second.

You can’t hold it in. You would have if you could have – the sensation was just too amazing, and you were trying to grasp at straws –literally, if by straws you mean sinking your nails into his shoulders– trying to prolong your orgasm to no avail. You are coming all over, spasming and stirring and gasping his name, and Riddle is a bit scared at first – did he – did he do that? – but it seems you are content, and you settle down huffing beneath him. He takes out his fingers, but his hand stays put, pushing on you softly, as you are still whimpering with the aftershocks that come and go after the peak.

Riddle knows what is supposed to come after that, but the thought alone makes his stomach do cartwheels. Now, how to initiate? He doesn’t have time to think, as you grab him by the wrist, taking his hand out of your underwear and giving it a tug, motioning him to come closer. In your current clouded state, it’s hard of you to completely gain enough strength to pin him down as you originally had wanted to, so you settle to have him sit beside you as you roll over so that your upper body meets his crotch.

“Y/N?” he yelps, suddenly self-aware of how flush his length is against the fabric of his boxers, throbbing to come out, and your face is now caressing it softly with only one layer to separate you.

“Ah. Sorry. Too fast?”

He shakes his head.

“No. Actually,” he pushes his underwear down. “Please. Can you –”

He needn’t ask. The sensation of him in your mouth compelled such novelty – it was weird to get used to, but at the same time felt like the natural next step to take. Tip reddened and throbbing, teased by your lips as your hands would steady his thighs. Funny how something so intense – suckling at him, gasping for jagged breaths, as the bitter taste of his precum numbs your other senses – would come apparent to you so matter-of-factly, unrehearsed yet perfectly calculated. Riddle stifles moans until he can’t anymore, pouring from his lips, buckling into you with hand tangled in your hair, pulling you closer.

He’s no longer thinking straight, and that’s fine. If he were, he’d still be stuck in the preparation phase, staring mindlessly at the welt of your socks, unable to move. But since he’s no longer counting the kisses he’s given you tonight, he’ll make a point of also not counting how many times he’ll thrust into you, as he topples you over when the wetness of your mouth just won’t quite scratch that itch, and hurriedly reaches over the counter for a condom. It’s not like the guilt is completely done, but this – this is everything right now, and as you are huffing and puffing away below him, eager to receive him, he understands that a bit of chaos is needed every once in a while.

A lot of first times are awkward. This might be no exception. But he enters you with such ease, you wonder how this new feeling can be so recognizable, as the pressure builds between your legs and his hipbones dig into you once again, and he restrains your hands with his, raising your arms, soft eyes filled with lust.

“So tight...” Riddle whispers, but it’s more like sounds are escaping him, uncontrolled, “Y/N... y-you’re...”

His speech is barely intelligible, though you can sometimes make out words – ‘beautiful’, ‘good’, ‘wet’ – and a few poorly-pronounced phrases like “does it hurt?” –– it doesn’t, and as you’re pinned beneath him with a clear view into his quivering rosy lips and half-lidded gaze, you know he’s getting closer as he gets harder. He‘s trying to get his mouth full of your taste as if it were forbidden – like it all boiled down to this one evening, and this chance was all he had. And if it were for him, he would have made it last forever – but his body is not so used to this kind of endurance, so after a few minutes Riddle finally gives in, collapsing into your shoulder, quietly whimpering your name, in a moment of weakness that is greater than he’d like to admit. Riding his orgasm, fingers entwined with yours and digging at your knuckles in a tight grip, his voice is unlike you’ve ever heard it before, and you understand its over once he quiets down.

The silence lasts for a few moments. Or, more appropriately put, a slight wave of sheepish embarrassment, as he’s promptly rolled over to your left and you’re both lying face up and wheezing up a storm as if you’d just ran some kind of marathon. But then Riddle slightly tugs at your hand.

“Everything alright?”

“I think so. You?”

“It’s been... quite the novelty,” he says flatly, but then smiles a little at his choice of words. “Do couples do this all the time? ...it seems exhausting.”

“So that’s it? That was your quota for a whole lifetime? Fine then.”

“––No!” he hastily turns sharp on his side, facing you, only to find that you’re unable to hold your laughter. “–Oh. Not funny, Y/N.”

“Sorry! Sorry.”

“– I would very much like it if we did it again. Uh... tomorrow, or – or some other time.”

You smile. “I would like that, too.”

“Should we settle on a schedule?”

“––what? No!” but a sudden tinge of guilt overcomes you, as you quickly realize he might need it. “U–uh, I mean, if – if that makes it easier for you–––”

“––just kidding,” a soft smirk escapes him, like a stifled giggle that says ‘gotcha’.

“Oh, look at you cracking jokes now,” you accuse him with a pout. “That’s a first.”

“Guess that makes two firsts in one day.”

As you both let out a complicit giggle, reaching out for the sheets and then for each other’s hands, no longer worried about the next one step or million steps to come, you find yourselves drifting off to sleep in a loose embrace.

[mysmuttyy]

Scary? My gosh, you’re divine! ♫ 𐙚

new girl. I’ve never really liked people, all my life, I’ve tried my hardest to steer away from them. There’s a few that I tolerate, but other than that, I don’t wish to be associated with anyone else. Not that I’m stuck up, it’s just people often make me uncomfortable. I’m an awkward person, which has quickly turned me into an introvert. My social anxiety always gets the better of me, and I just let it.

Seeing as I’m the new girl, I’m the talk of the school. Random people come over and introduce themselves to me, but I never remember their names. Some even tell me gossip, it’s never really interesting, seeing as I know no one at this school. Other than my twin sister, Luna. The two of us are alike, we aren’t really ‘people persons’ and we kind of like it that way.

I remember some random girl telling me about this one boy- Actually, she was warning me about him. Mattheo Riddle, a dangerous boy who has no remorse. I can’t help but wonder if he’s actually dangerous. Is Mattheo Riddle really as cruel as they make out? Or do they judge him based off his family? I understand that. People think Luna and I are weird, seeing as our family is portrayed as weird. We don’t care, none of us care. Father says it’s a good way to live; not caring about what others think of one’s existence, to live a happy life, and discard of any negativity. People think he’s crazy, I think he’s wise, and misunderstood.

—

I head down the hall, staring down at a piece of parchment in the palm of my hand. The parchment has all my classes written on it, but fails to say where exactly they’re taken place. My eyes roll, wrist flipping to check the watch. I’m already ten minutes late, and it’s my first fucking class. As I turn yet another corner, my body collides with another’s. The smack of our bodies almost knocks me over, but strong arms catch me, pulling me back onto flat feet. I look up, my blue eyes locking with his deep brown ones.

The boy has curly hair, scars on both his face and neck, and a plump pair of lips. He easily towers over me, arms still wrapped around my body, boobs smooshed against his chest. They slightly ache from the force of the hit.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying any attention to where I was going- I’m lost.” I speak clearly, not stuttering a bit. Which is unusual when speaking to someone new, someone as pretty as him. There’s a comforting aura that swims around this boy, something that sets me to be at ease. Although, my heart beats ten times faster, blush no doubt painting my cheeks bright red- But I believe that’s just because he’s so breathtaking. The curly haired offers a slight smile, nodding his head. “It’s fine,” His deep voice speaks, sending shivers to erupt throughout my entire body.

“What class do you have, I can show you to it?” He suggests, pulling one of his hands off my hip, taking my parchment from my hands. I’m quick to notice the veins in his hands, causing my pussy to drench with my own arousal, throbbing with need for a stranger. The word “pathetic” echoes in my mind a million times over.

The stranger chuckles, eyes flickering back to meet mine. “Don’t be so hard on yourself little one, it’s okay to be turned on.” He whispers. My whole body freezes at his tease, face flushing an even brighter red. “Come on lovegood, let’s get you to class?”

“Who are you?” I question, standing still to the spot. “Mattheo Riddle.”

I stare into his eyes, examining every part of him. In the five minutes the two of us have spoken, I’ve failed to find anything slightly ‘dangerous’ about him. My eyes roll, the rumours that spread pissing me off already. He huffs, “I’m assuming you’ve heard. I’m not as scary as they all make me out to be, y/n.” He tells you, sounding desperate for me to believe him.

I laugh a loud laugh, “Scary? My gosh, you’re divine!”

Mattheo stares down at me, pure shock written across his face. He leans down, smashing his lips onto mine, arms wrapping around my body once again. I kiss back twice as hard, allowing him to push me up against a near wall. Our hands begin moving all over one another’s bodies, far out of our control now, the two of us moaning in one another’s mouths.

“The- The bell will ring soon.” I state, pulling away from his kisses. He takes your hand in his, dragging me toward the abandoned girls lavatory. Mattheo effortlessly picks me up, placing me onto the nearest sink. My legs wrap around his torso, back arching as I pull him closer, feeling his hard on through his school trousers. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone so fucking bad before, y/n.” He whispers, kissing leading down toward your neck.

The boy begins biting, sucking, licking and kissing a purple mess into the skin of my neck, moaning as he does so. I throw my head back, letting it bang against the mirror behind me, my moans echoing throughout the bathroom. “Fuck, please!” I cry, grabbing his arm in my tight grip, fingernails digging into his tanned skin.

“Please what? Use your fucking words.” Mattheo demands, harshly slapping your thigh. “Touch me, please!” I cry out, guiding his hand underneath my skirt. He chuckles, biting one last harsh kiss into me before pulling back.

“Touch you where, y/n? I’m not a mind reader.” He taunts, knowing damn well he is a mind reader.

I huff an annoyed huff, sighing as I stare into his lust filled eyes. “There.” I tell him, pulling his hand further. He squeezes my thigh, eyes hardening as he glares down at me, warning me to use my words once again. “My pussy, please.. touch my pussy.”

“Was that so hard, hm?” He questions me, eyebrows raising as his thumb rubs soft circles on my clothed clit. “F-Fuck up!” I whine out, feeling my breaths get caught up in my throat. His free hand wraps around my neck, pushing me further into the coldness of the mirror. “Swear at me again, I fucking dare you.” Mattheo demands, slight smirk as my face turns red again.

“I’m not scared of you.” I choke on my own words, trying my best to put up a fight. His eyebrows raise, hand pulling away from my neck. “Yeah? Not scared of me?” He questions me, tilting his head, curls flopping to the side. I nod back at him, gulping a loud gulp. It’s clear that I am very much scared of him, but he’s seeming to ignore that, focusing rather on the fact that I’m testing him.

He uses his free hand to swiftly undo his belt, allowing the metal to smack against the floor below him. The sound of his zipper unzipping sends shivers up my spine, body moving backwards, knowing what’s about to happen. His other hand moves away from my panties, gripping my thigh, holding me in place, eyes locked with mine. I breathe heavily, watching his every move. “But maybe, you’re scared of this?” He speaks up again, holding his long, fat, and veiny cock in his hand.

My mouth falls open in shock, both at the size and girth of him. Mattheo’s hand wanders underneath my skirt once more, a finger slipping under the band of my panties, inching toward my soaking wet pussy. I feel a finger slip deep inside me, my arousal coating it. I wince, eyes rolling back. “You’re so tight, I’m not sure my cock will fit.” He taunts, smirking devilishly. “But you’re gonna take it anyways, right? Cause you’re not scared of me, right?”

“I- Mattheo..” I whisper, lip quivering as my whole body shakes, chest heaving as my breaths come out uneven. “Speak up.” His harsh voice echoes throughout the empty bathroom, eyes squinting as he leans closer to me. Mattheo discreetly slips another finger inside me, pumping out a harsh rhythm. My cries fall ignored, his cock hardening as he slowly strokes it to the sound of my echoing sobs. “Not so tough now, are you?” He asks, lips grazing past the shell of my ear.

“Such a whiny slut, hm y/n? Who knew you were a crier.”

“Mattheo.” I grunt out, pushing him back, forcing him to look back into my eyes. “Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me, and I’ll give it to you, huh?” Mattheo whispers, cooing even. The softness in his voice provides me with a calming feeling to spread throughout my entire body. “Fuck me, fuck me please sir?” I finally let out, needy eyes looking deep into his, body grinding into his fingers.

“Mhmm, my needy little fucking slut- You want my cock? Say it again.”

“Fuck me sir, put your fucking cock inside me!” I scream at the top of my lungs, back arching once more. His hand retreat back to his side, fingers sliding out of my pussy, a trail of my own juices leaking with them. Mattheo pulls my panties down, shoving them in his pocket. I feel his pink tip align with my entrance, and with no warning, he snaps his hips, pushing himself balls deep in my aching hole.

Our moans mix together, his veiny hands holding onto my thighs, in attempt to keep himself steady. His cock thrusts inside me, like a fucking hammer. It’s to long, so big, I fear it might rip into my stomach. The two of us stare into one another’s eyes, my hands landing on top of his. “S-So beautiful..” I whisper, feeling weak already. “Mhm good girl, look at me, keep going.” He encourages, squeezing my hand.

“Come on baby, look at me. Fucking look at me.”

My head snaps back in his direction, body collapsing against his. He laughs, pushing me back up, resting me against the mirror. One of his hands keeps at my hip, the other trapped underneath my trembling hand. He allows me to squeeze his hand, ignoring the way I cut off his circulation as I scream his name, coming all over his cock. He cries out a breathless whimper, feeling my harsh orgasm slam onto his twitching cock.

[sky4cherry]

hi #1 bob sheldon defender

can you pretty please elaborate on what you think bob’s relationships with the other socs are ?

ok sooo sorry this took me so long but i am so incredibly ill and my brain is not doing its job 🙂‍↔️

putting this under ‘read more’ because this turned out long

bob and paul: they’re obviously really close!! i hc them both as being only children, which bob feels kinda different for since he’s grown up with chet and brill who both have 2 siblings each, and trip who has a brother. they definitely view each other as brothers, hence why paul was quite as fucked up as he was when bob died (also like to be fair he did watch it happen so there’s that too)

bob and cherry: guys they are so important to me,,, girlboss gf and girlfailure bf… obviously they are head over heels for each other, and cherry’s the only one bob is really vulnerable around, which makes it all that much harder when he’s been drinking. they both want to help each other get through the bad times, but they both know that it’s inevitable that bob’s going to get caught up in the social divide :( they are so important to me :( bob who doesn’t know how to comfort cherry about her parents arguing but really wants to try

bob and marcia: the idea of bob being very wary around marcia because he’s scared she’ll spread slander about him is so funny to me because she is only 3 apples tall!! you’re telling me you’re scared of her when she’s 3 apples tall and riddled with anxiety?? they’re close because they’re the two who are closest with cherry, so they spend a lot of time together, but bro is quaking in his boots because he’s so scared she’ll put the embarrassing shit she knows about him to use

bob and trip: dyslexic bob sheldon who claims he just ‘doesn’t get it’ when he struggles with homework, and trip who helps him out without making any jokes at bob’s expense. trip (in my head) presents as quite stoic on the outside even though he’s secretly silly, while bob is more outwardly silly, so they balance each other out. trip who knows the best out of all the guys that the fighting is worthless, but knows exactly why bob does it. and bob who knows trip doesn’t fully support the fighting, but encourages him to join in so trip can control something. they’re not the absolute closest of the bunch, but they are very important to me!!

bob and chet: bob sheldon who wreaks havoc on his parents to try and get them to parent him better, but he takes things far more seriously when chet is the one being ignored by his parents. bob who doesn’t let chet go a night sleeping at his own home unless it’s by choice, so he always fixes up the couch for him in case chet lets himself in while bob’s asleep. they’re close. they’re so similar in the way they’re treated by their families, and how they choose to cope with that treatment. i don’t think i can actually put into words how important they are to meee!!!

bob and bev: oh you thought he was scared of marcia? beverly jitney-bush is no man’s peace. they’re close in the way they argue a ton but it doesn’t change their dynamic at all! with bev constantly at brill’s, and brill living 2 doors down from bob, they spend a lot of time together! bob’s probably the most headstrong guy, while bev’s the most headstrong girl, so they’re both close and at constant odds with each other. i think they argue because they’re similar, but they know they understand each other well enough to know when they’re going too far.

bob and brill: childhood best friends type shit!! they’ve known each other since they were little kids, and brill’s always balanced bob out really well. when bob’s letting his emotions guide him, brill’s there to help him regulate himself. they’re pretty big opposites from each other, but it’s something that really comes in handy when one gets in a situation he’s not exactly equipped for, because the other will always come to his aid. all the more tragic considering bob and brill make direct eye contact when bob gets stabbed

[josphitia]

Josie's Cow HRT Journey Part 1 - Discovery

I've been living as myself for 10 years. It's been hard, but I've achieved so much. I see a woman when I look in the mirror. There are aspects of myself I'm unhappy with, but who doesn't have that, right? So why did it feel like something's still missing?

I was just browsing my socials and I saw something that caught my eye, something that scratched an itch I didn't have words for. This girl was a freaking werewolf??? And more than that, it was from HRT??? I never really had a Tixter before but for this I had to make an account, I wanted to learn everything I could about this!

After that discovery, I was entranced for days by transition timelines. I saw people of all genders (or none!) posting their happiness and successes becoming the animals they truly were. Dragons, fish, mice, it seemed there was no end to the menagerie unfolding before my eyes. There were so many different creatures, but none really felt like “me.” Sure, having wings would be cool, and horns felt right, but I definitely wasn't a dragon. I love tigers but the idea of becoming an obligate carnivore scared me (although I would've rocked the stripes). The horses were sleek and gorgeous, and while hooves scratched this newfound itch, I just couldn't see myself as an equine.

Maybe I was just a happy ally? So excited to see people being able to be their authentic selves, but not a journey of my own? The thought of just leaving it at that, however, filled me with dread. I knew in my stomach this would be something I'd regret if I didn't pursue it. After all, wasn't that feeling of reticence proof enough I was on the right path? So on I scrolled.

It almost felt like some weird form of para-social shopping. Seeing a happy giraffe girl and thinking “could I be happy like that?” The animals though just never felt like they fit right for me. There were aspects I identified with, but never a whole package. It was like some weird riddle, which animal was just… myself?

Then I came across a random post and it was like everything clicked into place. It was a girl posting a comedic picture of herself trying to acclimate to her new diet: a salad of grass clippings. Underneath that picture was a hashtag that seemed to illuminate a corner of my brain used to darkness: #CowHRT. I was teary eyed, I had finally found who I was. It just felt right, it felt like *me*.

For the next few days it felt like every mystery of my being had an answer. Why did I always wear my sunglasses over my head? It was helping to relieve my dysphoria of not having horns. Why were shoes so hard to shop for and never fit quite right? I wasn't even supposed to be wearing them. Heck, I might’ve not even supposed to have toes! Even my diet seemed to fit into perfect place. I was already vegan for a number of years and loved nothing more than a nice bowl of leafy greens or broccoli. I wasn't going to become a cow, I already and always was one. I just needed help to see that bovine in the mirror.

By some stroke of luck it turned out a lot of the girls undergoing animal HRT lived in the same city as me, so I was able to find the doctor they were attending relatively easily. It seemed he had as many positive reviews as he did negative… But, surely he couldn't throw anything at me that I hadn't already dealt with. I've dealt with my fair share of awful therapists and doctors. I bookmarked his website, dreading the eventual phone call I would make. I was so eager, my head was already making plans for how my life would change and how I'd live life as my authentic self. There was just one thing I hadn't quite mentally tackled, something that should be easy but still filled me with anxiety…

How was I going to tell my husband?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josie's Cow HRT Journey

First|Previous|Next

[ateez-himari]

[Archive] 'Tunnel' by Mingi - The Story

...

"It was tough for me to see a single letter so I sent it all away, I guess I can't get used to being left alone..."

It had been weeks since every single one of their interactions was inevitably cut short by the man's cold responses, the widening void in their friendship slowly tearing at the young woman's already fragile heart. To the audience it was undoubtedly a result of dating rumors circulating through social platforms yet she knew better than to fall under this belief, than to dumb down her friend's suddenly dismissive behavior to not wishing to be mistaken for her romantic interest.

'Mingi can I come in...' She asked sheepishly, a trembling hand giving her bandmate's door a light knock. 'We need to t-'

Without giving the anxiety riddled maknae a chance to explain the reason behind such a sudden intrusion the door swung open to reveal the man's annoyed expression, silently motioning for her to come in with a singular nod of his head. They had spent around two years building a close connection to one another yet now she stood awkwardly in front of his bed where he took a seat, fidgeting with the edges of a sweater he had let her borrow and was now long forgotten.

'So what do you want ?' He asked plainly, looking off to the side of the room. 'Can you make this quick...I was planning on going out soon.'

'Why have you been acting like a complete asshole lately ?' She blurted out, the honesty behind her question taking both parties aback. 'I mean...all of a sudden you just start ignoring me, not even talking to me unless you really have to...did I do something ?'

From sunrise to sunset, this moment... Why is my heart so void ?

With a clench of his jaw the man ran a ringed hand across his pursed lips, a heavy silence settling across the room whilst he looked for a way to phrase his answer though still not making an effort to meet her saddened eyes. The young woman however did not seem to have the same control over the emotions screaming inside her mind, all competing for dominance over one another, as she kept blinking to keep warm tears at bay.

'You're just too clingy.' Mingi finally spoke up. 'This is exactly why people start dating rumors...because you can't seem to stay away from me for a single second. I mean come on there's seven other members, can't you go bother one of them ?'

Everything I said was a lie... Everything right at this moment.

Deep down he wished to take the group's youngest into his arms, beg for her forgiveness regarding all the times he had made that beautiful smile falter, yet pushing her away seemed to be the only way to protect them both. Despite acting like he held not a singular regard towards how she felt, he could tell that the influx of negativity was slowly wearing her down and he could not let rumors about their alleged relationship contribute to this weight - no matter how much he wished for them to be true.

I gotta get outta fucking love...

'I just...' Too choked up to form more than a few words, Himari simply lowered her head. 'I'm sorry, this is my fault.'

The man's resolve was rapidly growing thin, the more rational parts of his conscience pleading for him to just explain everything, fully aware that she would understand, yet his tongue seemed to find harsher words by the moment. It had been months now since the realization that it was no longer simply friendship but love that he felt for the vocalist dawned on him, months since he had promised himself to do whatever was necessary to never let his heart feel this way.

'I knew adding a girl to this group was a mistake.' He spat out, a lump forming in his throat. 'If you got nothing else to say then get out, my hiatus is soon and I have to pack.'

I let you go like nothing happened... But then at the end of it all a piece of you still lingers.

Not willing to let tears fall in front of him no matter how deeply every single one of his coldly spoken statements cut, the young woman hurried out of the room and into the one she shared with the two oldest members. Within a moment of shutting the door her body slid down against the wooden surface, knees curling up to her chest as poorly silenced sobs echoed through the empty dorm.

Now left completely alone with the guilt of what he had just done, the rapper angrily hurled a nearby book at the wall as tears of his own stained the hand he had brought over his face. Everything aspect of his head was in complete disarray and nothing made sense anymore, not the reason behind his rash decisions, not the harshness of his words, not even his feelings towards someone he had sworn to their manager would never be anything more than a bandmate.

It will be empty, hopefully Then it will be filled again, even if it hurts. I'll eventually have to face reality I'm sure that it was just a dream deep inside my heart.

Himari would never find out that most of his hiatus was filled with days drowned in alcohol to forget everything that had taken place between them, to forget how much he wished to kiss her delicate lips and apologize a hundred times over.

Mingi would never be told the amount of days during which she had been woken up by anxiety induced nightmares believing that his mental struggles were her own fault, nor would anyone dare to mention the psychological diagnosis sitting on her desk where 'major depressive episode' was permanently engraved in ink.

At first the rapper's phone would light up with messages from the maknae every few days about the smallest things, though the fear of saying something stupidly hurtful stopped him from ever replying. In the midst of the hiatus' timeline however her name no longer appeared at the top of his screen in the morning and neither were aware of how often the other's finger hovered over their contact.

A/N: Please note that this in no way depicts the real reasons behind Mingi's hiatus (or his personality) nor is it the song's true meaning! It is simply a work of fiction and should be read as such. Thank you! ♡

[ashesandhackles]

For @hprecfest Day 1: A favorite fic under 5k words

A wilder beast from West than all were by eldritcher

Mature. Rufus Scrimgeour/Andromeda Black Tonks

This fic has me in a chokehold and I will take every opportunity to rec it. Myth of Andromeda breakdown, social commentary and everything else in this restrained, beautiful prose.

Summary:

Scrimgeour investigates the myth of Andromeda.

2. The Snow Child by @saintsenara

Merope Gaunt/ Tom Riddle Snr.

My first introduction to Asenora was this fantastic (and vastly underrated among her work) folklore horror!

Summary:

Once upon a time, there was a girl who wished for a child with hair as black as a raven's wing, and skin as white as snow, and eyes as red as blood.

3. Runaway Boys by Delphi

Delightfully surreal and strange fic of Snape experiencing his puberty, with characters from Peter Pan.

Summary:

Severus dreams of pirates, and Lily closes the nursery window.

4. Entracte by @shes-a-gryffindor

Sirius' visit to Godric Hollow the night Lily and James died - the prose is so masterful with building tension, and how it seamlessly moves from Sirius' anxiety, to shock to grief and to rage.

Summary:

Sirius Black visits Godric's Hollow for the last time.

[solmints-messyocdiary]

"Alice"

There is nothing to say here.

Name: "Alice" Doe

Age: Late 20s. Older than she appears.

Pronouns: She/They/It

Gender: Super cute, amazing, talented bishoujo

Sexuality: Weeb (translation: she doesn't get laid)

Alignment: chaotic neutral

Birthday: February 7

Sign: Aquarius

Birthplace: [ç̸̯̜͕̱̗̾͌̌̇̇̔͗̉̎̚͘e̸̺̖͊͊͆̄̕͝ṅ̴̯̩̪͈̊͂͊̃͂̔͊́́̒́͜s̶̼͕͇̟̯̹̩͈̜̯͗͑͂̍̉̾͘͠ơ̴̡̯̦͎̹̍̈́̽̆̐̓̾̎̕̚͝r̸̝͇̗͔͙̱̲̀͐̉̌̐̈́͐͌̈́͜e̶̢̝̰͖̮̪̿͑̓̊́̍͆̒̈̑͆d̵̢̜͖̺̼̦̟̏̂́͘]

Job: Crime scene cleaner

-

Personality:

Haha... she wants to be liked but left alone at the same time. She finds her personality absolutely unbearable, so she'll try to mold herself in any way you need her to be. She can try and play the part. She tries to act as this wild, lovable, and energetic gal that everyone loves. A manic dream pixie girl to be exact.

However... she is an anxiety-riddled nerd who is hyperactive and can't stay still. "Alice" always tries to crack jokes, sometimes at the most bad timings, to ease down the tension. She hates herself and tends to become extremely depressed when her mood gets bad enough and her social battery is drained. She can also be quite negative, judgemental and cruel in her head.

Being perceived is both terrifying and important for her.

-

Height: 1.64 cm (5'4/5'5" feet)

Weight: It's a se-cret~ 48 kg (106 pounds)

Physical Description: A petite woman with blond-dyed hair and blue tips, her roots can be seen and are a dark brown. Greyish blue eyes with an unnerving stare and nervous smile. She has a pear-shaped body, thick thighs, and a nice butt. Her body is always littered with bandaids or bandages due to her clumsiness or how often she gets into fights. She has a scar on her mouth... she'd rather not say how she got it.

-

Hobbies: surfing the web, watching 4 hours videos on niche/obscure topics, sketching, reading manga, watching anime, playing eroge/horror games, staring into the void

Favorite stories: Bibliomania, Emanon, No Longer Human, Lady K and the Sick Man, Devilman, 1984

Favorite movies: Perfect Blue, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Angel's Egg, Jennifer's Body, Girl Interrupted, American Psycho, Spirited Away, Paprika, Akira

Favorite series: Serial Experiments Lain, Ergo Proxy, Neon Genesis Evangelion, My Dress-up Darling, Gangsta, Zombieland Saga, Magical Girl Site, Sailor Moon, Black Rock Shooter, Ghost in the Shell, Saint Seiya, Elfen Lied

Favorite Videogames: Mario 64, You and Me and Her: A Lovestory (Kimi to Kanojo to Kanojo no Koi), Huniepop, Silent Hill, THE iDOLMaster, Yume Nikki, Needy Streamer Overdose, Jisatsu no Tame no 101 no Houhou, Slow Damage, Subarashiki Hibi

Music Taste: J-pop, J-rock, electronica, eurobeat, vaporwave

-

Loves: solitude

Likes: junk food, Kuromi, physical media, boba tea, manga, Cogimyun, her waifus and husbandos, Dating Sim games, Super Sonico, bootleg figures, horror, deep-dives, horror indie RPGs, cows

Dislikes: boring people, people making fun of her, feeling sad... feel... ing... am I... A̷̳͗m̴̒ͅ ̸͈̐Ĩ̸̠ ̴͚̾r̶͇̔ȇ̴̘ã̴̪l̸̡̆?̸̗͝ ̷̩̈I̴̫̽ ̶̫̊a̸̰͊m̷̯̿ ̸͈͐s̵̭̈́c̴̱̈́a̴̕͜r̷̡̃e̶̦͌d̶̪̽.̷͇͝ ̷̙̒I̵̟͝t̶͍̋ ̶͎͑k̵͉̾e̷̢̿ȩ̴͑p̶̮̚s̵͉͐ ̶̦̕g̷̞̎e̶͊ͅt̶̝̂t̸̘̓ỉ̶͜n̵͉̿g̶̣͗ ̶̳̀ẃ̸̯o̵̜͋r̶̭̈́ṣ̴̄e̷̲͒.̸̯̑ ̸͈͘P̴̼̆l̶̠̈́e̷̖̒a̴̦̒s̸̭̏e̵̠͠.̸͙̀.̸̹̋.̸͇̆ ̶̝̈́p̵̟͝Ĺ̸̼E̴̼̋A̶͖̋S̷̗̈E̶̲͂ ̴̞̈́H̵̫̚Ẻ̶͈L̶̨̕P̶̪̽ ̶̟̍M̵̟͊E̸̛͔.̶̯́

Hates: solitude, herself ḥ̸̡̹̘̭̣̣̬̤͑͗͑͛̒́͗̈́͘̚ĕ̶̞̭̫̑̽̾͌̃̂̒̕̚r̵̛̲̖̙̭̜͙̳̙͚̿̾͌̓̓̀̅ş̵̛͇̜̩̲͓̪̋̌͊̈̉̄̐ȩ̷̡̠͍̥͔̞̼̣̈́ͅļ̶̛͕̱̃̉̎̈́̎͆́͝f̵̡̭̼̦̺̑̀̂̑͘̚͘̚ ̷͖̮̠͂̂͒͌̀͜͝ḧ̵̡̨̜͚͇̟͎͉͇̳̓̂̓̽̀̒ė̷͈̲͕̈́͌͗̍̎̊̕͝r̸̼͚͈̮̓̆̍̇̿́̅ş̷̫̘̰̼͖͖̄ę̸̠̤̼̪̓̒̆̈́͘̚͝l̸̨̧͖̼̰͈̅͆̀̆̃̔̐ͅf̶̙́͒̂͋̂̇̏ ̷̡̘̘͓̖̉͜h̴͓̹͓̭̤̳͚͛͜͠ͅê̵̤͓̖̘̬̭̫͓̒̓͗̈́̕ͅr̵̪͔̝͍͕͖̹̥̹̳̆̐̋͑͒͝͝s̴̫̗͙̈́ͅê̵̡̨̤̩͜l̴̥̈̽̐̾͒͗f̸̳̾̆̐̃͒

-

Extra

Right-handed

"Professional" tummy ache haver

She suffers from anxiety, making her not go out at all to prevent having to interact with others

She's a social smoker but doesn't like to drink alcohol in public

She likes to burn CDs and give them to people she sees as friends. She's surprisingly good at finding songs you might like.

Women make her nervous because she is constantly comparing herself to them

Dissociates... hard. There are times when she can't determine what is real and what is fake

[jeongyunhoed]

As seen on my FF.net

Following the events of fifth year, a new adventure awaits for Norah Lee. Boys, exams, school events, common room parties, and old foes outside of Hogwarts. Even battling pensieve guardians was easier than this.

Main Pair: OC/? Genre: Adventure/Angst/Fluff (it's a little of everything, tbh)

KEEP IN MIND: Characters are aged up (even if the story's got them in sixth year) to make it more appropriate. Time period is leaning towards the modern day so in case you might find anachronisms in the dialogue or references, this is why. This may also be quite a lengthy fic too.

BE WARNED: Social anxiety, mentions of blood and injury, grief, drinking, kissing but nothing more than that, death (this is Hogwarts Legacy, after all)

P.P.S: Another terrible attempt at poetry ahead, and introducing Henry Abbott (if we were to link this to the canon, he may be a great great uncle/great great grandfather to Hannah Abbott hee hee). I might do more of these in the coming chapters. It's fun brainstorming another relative to the canon characters.

Masterlist

Chapter 7

It had been a while since Norah had a girls-only hangout with Natty and Poppy. The three of them opted to study together near the kneazle pens, at the spot where Highwing used to drop in. Norah gladly let the hippogriff out to hang around them while she had her time to fly in the open before returning to the vivarium again.

The more there is, the less you see The answer to this riddle is another step to find me Your wit, your banter Most are truly lucky to encounter Indeed like the wife of the famous sleuth The answer to this may reveal some truth Whisper it to a close friend, and remember, The answer also means foreseeing danger.

You will know if you are right, Wait for my note on another night.

Your Nick

"Merlin, this Nick must think I'm as smart as a Ravenclaw," Norah sighed as she read the note over and over again, making the two girls look up from writing their assignments.

Natty and Poppy giggled. "You say that yet you managed to do everything you did in fifth year," The Gryffindor pointed out. "You will figure it out."

"Darkness," Norah blurted out, still staring at the note. "The answer to the riddle is darkness."

The two girls broke out into fits of laughter. "What did I say? I told you!" Natty pointed out, almost looking victorious. "No wonder this Nick admires you. I say he's truly mad for you, and this is his only way of expressing it."

"I've been reading this since last night, so it's taken me a while to figure it out."

"That's so romantic," Poppy swooned. "Can you imagine it? Norah might end up getting a boyfriend from Ronen's assignment."

The thought seemed to make Norah stare at the note even longer, nearly spilling her ink bottle. She didn't even know how she felt about this person. "Easy now, Poppy, it's too soon, don't you think? Ronen just started this assignment," She said with a slight chuckle. "With everything we're doing, I'd rather fight Ranrok again."

Natty somewhat sensed how uncomfortable she had gotten, and patted her on the shoulder. "Poppy's just too enamored with the one who took her name, leaving her love notes and gifts. She was like that during Care of Magical Creatures earlier," She said. "I think she already knows who it is."

Poppy's smile only grew wider as she nodded. "Andrew! It's Andrew Larson!" She said, holding up the yellow card that had her name on it.

"How did you know it was Andrew?" Norah was curious.

"He told me he was going to take my name from the board," Poppy replied.

They stared at her. "Merlin, he must fancy you loads," Norah said. "He was the one who left you bonbons in Herbology, wasn't he?"

Poppy nodded excitedly. They knew of her crush on the Ravenclaw boy since they started hanging out more often. She couldn't admit this to Amit, out of fear that he might tell Andrew, but surprisingly, it seemed like Andrew felt the same way. Norah guessed that if they had gotten around to brewing amortentia, Poppy could only smell things that would remind her of him.

"Who do you think took your name?" Norah rounded on the Gryffindor this time.

It was when a smile crept up on her face, shyness somehow coming over her. "I have a feeling it's that Ravenclaw boy, Henry Abbott," She said, showing her the red and gold card with her name on it.

"Whoa, it seems like two of my friends are fancying Ravenclaw boys," Norah chuckled. "It must be their wit and charm. If Amit didn't become my good friend, I think I would've fancied him too."

Natty shook her head profusely, but Norah could tell that a blush was spreading across her cheeks. "No, no! I don't fancy him! Not at all!" She tried to deny, but the Slytherin girl only gave her a look. "Well, he is rather handsome. He tried his hand at Crossed Wands the other day, and he made it to the second round."

Norah looked impressed. "He must have been fancying you since we took down Harlow in fifth-year," She said. "That's always a story you can brag about. And breaking into that Ashwinder camp."

The blush on Natty's cheeks only seemed to be more evident. "I wonder what my mother would think, me possibly getting a date to the Yule Ball, or possibly a boyfriend. Ronen's assignment ends the day before the house party too. I hope he comes."

"I hope so too. I don't think I've got any classes with Abbott this year," Norah tried to recall, shaking her head when she couldn't. She smiled, amused at how her two friends were gaining romantic attention. She was absolutely happy for them. Poppy with Andrew, Natty with Henry, Amit and Samantha maybe, but what about Sebastian and Ominis? She didn't really get to ask them about their efforts. But did she really want to know? There was a nagging thought at the back of her head that maybe she didn't, but she wanted them to be happy after what they went through in fifth year.

Highwing landed while Poppy and Norah gave her some of the cauldron cakes the Hufflepuff girl took from the kitchens. The white hippogriff happily devoured the cakes while Norah brushed her feathers, the winged beast enjoying the care and attention given to her.

The familiar sinking feeling was coming back again, something Norah felt in waves. There were a lot of things she needed to do, and what she told Professor Weasley still held true. The power she ended up taking in from the repository was filled with the pain and sadness, from everyone Isidora took from. She felt like she was teetering on the edge of being sad and being angry. The grief she felt seemed to only add onto this feeling that grew stronger. It was getting difficult to focus whenever it came.

But with everything that needed to be done for their classes, Norah knew she needed to hold it out a bit longer. She needed to be strong.

They heard a slight commotion coming from the Flying Class lawn. The all-too-familiar setup of Summoner's Court had appeared, making several students who were nearby excited. "Norah! Norah!" Samantha Dale was waving at her to come over.

"Back in the nabsack, Highwing, I'll let you back in the vivarium later," Norah quickly opened the bag, in which the hippogriff happily returned. She sighed, turning to Natty and Poppy. "I wonder who's up for playing this year."

"Ooh! Might we see Nick amongst the crowd?" Poppy grinned as they cleared out their things to approach the platform.

Norah and Natty side-eyed her, shaking their heads in amusement. But the closer they got, the more they, Natty in particular, realized who was up to try their hand at Summoner's Court this year. Henry stepped up, looking as determined as ever next to Leander, who challenged him. "Non-verbal Summoner's Court, the ever-changing game," the redhead declared, to cheers from some of the crowd.

Norah and Poppy started to giggle when they saw Natty get flustered, trying to hide behind them. It was easy to see why Natty, and possibly everyone else, might have fancied Henry.

He was as tall as Leander and had an intelligent looking face. Henry also happened to come from a family of purebloods, which mattered to those who were particular about it. His green eyes shone like emeralds and couldn't even be obscured by the wire-framed glasses he wore and his blonde hair that was tousled in a way that he meant to do so. In short, Henry was seen as one of the most handsome boys in Hogwarts.

"Oh, Henry Abbott finally trying his hand at non-verbal Summoner's Court," Samantha was grinning next to them. "If he gets past Leander, he's got me next, and then Grace, and then Charlotte, and then Professor Ronen," She tilted her head toward Norah. "And then you."

Norah sighed. "Me too? Really?"

"Yes, as the reigning Summoner's Court champion, you're the final opponent Henry faces if he gets past the rest of us and Ronen," Samantha looked proud.

"Then I look forward to being defeated," Norah looked impressed at Henry's turns, as well as Leander's efforts to knock the other balls out non-verbally. "What?" She laughed when Natty nudged her.

"You shouldn't go easy on Henry, just because I like him," The Gryffindor mumbled. "Let him win on his own."

Norah laughed. "Alright, alright, I won't go easy on your summoner," She teased.

Just after she said it, Henry had beaten Leander, whose face was ruddy from experiencing quite a loss in front of a crowd of people. The Ravenclaw managed to spot Natty in the crowd and smiled with a knowing look. "Well then, looks like Abbott's got me to face next," Samantha grinned. "Don't worry Natty, we promise not to go easy on Abbott," She said, making the Gryffindor girl even more flustered.

"Chin up, Leander!" Norah made sure to encourage the redhead, who seemed to be sulking even as Henry shook his hand, showing some sportsmanship. "Congratulations Henry!"

Both boys seemed to wave at her direction before walking off in separate directions. Samantha shot Natty another mischievous look before running off to catch up with her fellow Ravenclaw. "I believe he was inspired by Miss Onai over here to win," Poppy smiled.

"Bloody hell, best believe, I will be there when Nick makes himself known to you, Norah," Natty warned.

-

When free period hit, Norah thought to make another return to the map chamber, wanting to see if what she was thinking would work. Taking the enchanted wand she had made with the pensieve artifacts, she was about to head down to the bell tower when she saw Ominis also on his way, followed by Sebastian.

"Norah?" The blonde suddenly asked. "I heard Henry Abbott's having a go at becoming the new Summoner's Court champion."

Without thinking, she grabbed both of them by their sleeves, taking them by surprise as they followed her out of the common room. There was no better way to let them know what she planned to do than by pulling them along with her. "North tower dungeon, you-know-where," She muttered.

"Alright, alright, I think we got what you mean," Sebastian pulled his arm back, curiously following her, as did Ominis.

"Are we going back there again?" Ominis questioned.

"Yes, there's something I need to try before I can proceed," She said quietly, low enough for them to hear, but not audible enough for anyone else to catch them. "I need you two to be there just in case."

"Just in case of what?" Sebastian was getting concerned, as was Ominis, whose often calm expression changed into that of worry.

"In case I might not make it out? I don't know, but I thought you two, most of all, should know, right?" She said.

"If this is going to get you killed, surely there must be another way," Ominis surprisingly, reached out for her wrist as they went down the stairs leading to the dungeons where the so-called sleeping dragon was. "Norah, please tell me you're not going to get yourself killed."

"I don't think it'll be harmful, but it might take a lot out of me," Norah assured him, patting his hand as they went down the spiral staircase that finally led to the map chamber. She knew to pack a lot of wiggenweld potions in case it would once again be a repeat of fifth year.

It was as if it had only just happened. She was barely holding on when she mustered up the remaining strength she had and delivered the final blow to Ranrok, effectively killing him. With only a drop of wiggenweld potion left on her, she barely made it out of the caverns alive had it not for Professor Sharp and Professor Hecat, who found her and brought her to the hospital wing. Nurse Blainey tended to her wounds in the quiet hospital wing, under the watchful eyes of Sharp and Hecat. Professor Onai also checked on her while she recovered.

"We'll be standing by, ready," Sebastian was the one to assure her this time, when she opened the doors of the map chamber.

The three of them stood on the edge, away from the space that revealed the map of the country, including the four locations of the keeper trials. Norah took out the white wand from her bag and tried to concentrate.

The wand began to emit a light, and to Sebastian's and her amazement, the floor revealing the map further lowered to reveal another set of stairs and the door. "Bloody hell," the freckled brunette muttered, staring at what was in front of him.

"It worked," Norah said, still as amazed. "It's going to work after all," She felt relief. But it wasn't over just yet. "I have to send an owl to Professor Weasley about this."

"So this is what you went to Professor Weasley about, wasn't it?" Sebastian said.

"Yes," Norah admitted. She hated how she could find herself being vulnerable with them. "This power, the ancient magic from the repository down there. It's too much to bear for me. I feel everything, I feel the pain from all the people Isidora Morganach took from. It was wrong of me to use this, to try and build on it without really considering the consequences."

Ominis's expression turned from worry to sad. Sebastian's expression also fell. "I just hope it's not too late to rebuild it. One day, it will be reopened, to people willing to learn about it. I am the living keeper of this magic, and when the time comes that we can reopen it again, knowing what it can bring."

Sebastian tried to wrap his head around what she was saying. But it was also then that he realized how much pressure she was under. Even Ominis was beginning to understand why she felt what she was feeling. The way she had been trying to stay strong until she couldn't, not wanting to be seen as weak because Merlin forbid she disappoint anyone.

Her wand-bearing hand fell to her side as she looked down. "I can't keep this power. I can guard it, but I will not take it upon myself to use it for my own gain," She said quietly. "This is what Professor Fig, Miriam, George, Lodgok, and many others died for."

"Norah," Sebastian said as carefully as possible. "We can never know what it's like to be in your place. Ominis said it when we went to Keenbridge, and I think it bears repeating. Please don't throw yourself into something dangerous without knowing that there are people around you that will help you. You need only ask. You know I'll be there for you."

"We can't carry the burden you may have on your shoulders for you," Ominis chimed in. "But we can help you walk."

That was all she could say about how she was feeling. If she told them that she would never forgive herself if any one of them got seriously hurt. Just as how she couldn't seem to forgive herself for Professor Fig's death. Even Lodgok's death felt like it was her fault. All the more she knew she needed to make things right, even if it seemed to be too late.

When the floor moved back up, covering the door that led to the caverns, Sebastian stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her in a big hug. Ominis put a hand on her back, rubbing circles to sooth her. Sebastian tried to hold back the urge to kiss the side of her head, and instead hugged her a little tighter. He wanted her to know that he would always be there for her, and that he never wanted to see her unhappy or feel like everything was her responsibility.

The three of them quietly left the map chamber, the mood having become a little somber following Norah's explanation. This mood didn't last for very long, and Sebastian's expression changed into that from supportive into slightly annoyed when as they returned to the common room, Violet McDowell handed Norah another letter from Nick.

To Norah Lee,

Tear one off and scratch my head, What once was red is black instead. Answer this riddle to get to me, You've answered my riddles easily. I've always admired this about you, So be assured that my feelings are true. Whisper this to a close friend's ear, You'll never know, that your summoner's near.

You will know if you are right, Wait again tomorrow night.

Your Nick

"A match," Norah replied, pocketing the letter.

"A match? Did he give you another riddle?" Ominis asked.

"Yes he did," Norah said. Turning to Sebastian, she explained what she had been receiving. "But it seems like he's trying to give himself away now that we're getting closer to the end of Ronen's assignment."

"Well, I'm set to meet mine at the party. She said she wouldn't be making herself known on the end of the assignment yet," Sebastian frowned.

"What about you, Ominis?" Norah turned to the blonde.

Ominis shook his head, as if on reflex. "I'm not telling either of you. You'll have to know when I figure out who she may be," He said. "I believe I best be going back to my bed and finish my Transfiguration essay."

He quickly went in the direction of the boys' dormitory, leaving Sebastian and Norah in the common room. "He must be writing to Anne again, isn't he?" Norah smiled

"Perhaps. But I genuinely think he's still got to finish it. We were working on it in the library," Sebastian shrugged. "How are you feeling now?" He asked.

"Better than earlier, thank you," She nodded. Norah went over to the chairs nearest to the windows looking underwater, where Ominis would tease the first-years about mermaids. To their amusement, there were still some first-years on the lookout for mermaids. They soon tried to disperse them gathering, telling them that they wouldn't see some, at least in the part of the lake where their common room was.

"Nerida Roberts can tell you all about the mermaids if you're curious," Norah told them, and they walked away, talking amongst themselves about what she told them. "She'll be the future liason for the mermaids in the ministry soon."

The way Norah managed to get them to disperse and keep their interest was amazing to Sebastian. He had always liked that about her, how she was able to get through to anyone. With what she revealed earlier, Sebastian hoped he could return the favor, and he was determined to be there for her no matter what.

[rath00ker]

Trans rambles because I am trans therefore everyone in twisted wonderland is trans (they can’t escape me)

Riddle is trans masc genderfluid or trans fem genderfluid, it can really go either way with him. Would be a She/He enjoyer

Cater is just a trans guy. I don’t make the rules. Got top surgery and started T as soon as he could. Since he’s 18 (and I’m going off American law), he probably started puberty blockers really early and started T with his moms consent. He’s just living his best life

Leona is trans fem or trans masc. You can pick whichever you like best

Ruggie is a trans man I’m dying on this hill. He couldn’t afford puberty blockers but in my headcannon Leona is giving him some money for his transition. He pays for his hormone therapy and the needles he needs. In the version that Leona is trans masc probably gave him a hand-me down binder. His grandma really doesn’t care, coming out to her was easy “Hey grandma I’m trans” “that’s great now go grab my cigarettes”

All of the octo trio are trans because they’re my favorites and this in the highest honor I can give them.

Azul is nonbinary (he/they), he’s simple.

Jade is trans fem agender, they are in charge of making sure Floyd takes his T, otherwise he’d forget. They are on estrogen themself and Floyd calls them boob pills

Floyd is a trans guy because he is my favorite character and he just like me fr. Either doesn’t bind at all and does not care or forgets to take off his binder and wonders why his chest hurts all the time. That binder also needs to be WASHED. It is holding on for dear life. Jade helps Floyd take his T because Floyd can’t be trusted around sharp objects

The Tweels mom and dad didn’t care that much either. Idk what the merfolks view of gender is so you can make it up yourself. But I like to think that they don’t really care

Jamil is trans fem but hasn’t come out to her parents yet. Wants to fully transition but hasn’t been able too. Is a trans girl that wants to watch the world burn and I am in love with her. Send love to your local trans woman today

Vil is also Trans fem but could probably make her own estrogen if she really wanted too but going to a doctor is much safer and she has the means to do so. Trans lesbian, you can’t fight me on this I’m literally Yana

I DONT KNOW WHAT ROOK IS BUT HE IS QUEER. That is a queer guy, either by sexuality or gender. I don’t know what he is but we gotta find out NOEW. He can’t keep getting away with this

Epel is a trans guy, his story has trans vibes going through them. With the whole looking like a girl and wanting to be more manly. He’s on puberty blockers but Vil is working out with his family to get him on T. Probably has him a high testosterone diet to help out. Her and Rook definitely teach Epel everything he’d need to know to transition. (Found family goes brrrr), his family is supportive just more confused than anything. They love and support him they just don’t have the money to help him get that far in his transition

Idia is a sweaty trans masc nonbinary xeno pronoun user. Doesn’t use his xeno pronouns in real life but uses them online. He/they/it pronouns and Glitch/Glitchself Code/Codeself xeno pronoun user. He came out recently to his family so they are a bit confused but they have enough money to help his transition. Ortho makes sure he takes off his binder so he doesn’t hurt himself with it and reminds him to take his medication (both hormone blockers and anxiety medication)

Ortho is a robot, but he uses xeno pronouns like his brother to make him feel better. He’s a sweet little guy who loves his brother not much to say

Malleus is a trans woman because twisted wonderland is good but they need more trans women. Idk what fae culture thinks about gender but they probably don’t care that much. Malleus can probably transition through magic but just doesn’t want to. She doesn’t have body dysphoira just social dysporia other than that she’s doing just fine

Lilia is nonbinary just cause he’s a silly little guy. Nonbinary (he/him), just a silly guy

Crewel is an older trans guy and queer guy. Definitely has knowledge about trans laws and informs his trans students of them. Wants Crowley to add a gender studies class but we all know how useful Crowley is

Sam is a trans guy, why you may ask? Because Sam is like one of the most common names trans guys pick. That or he’s nonbinary. Transitioned a long time ago, is open about it and helps out NRC’s trans/queer students when he can. Sells binders and feminine clothing

How would this work if NRC is an all boys college? I dunno and I don’t care so don’t make a comment questioning it. This is for the fun of it. I also have headcannons about what mental disorder some twst characters might have so that might be my next post. Psychology is a special interest of mine and you can’t escape me talking about it

Thank you tri-state area 

[queencoldart]

I was thinking about how totk Ganondorf could have turned out the way he did when I thought about how his culture messes up, well, everybody.

The Gerudo are extremely weird and rigid about gender, to the point they hurt themselves in their confusion. They break up families and ban the girls from interacting with men just to send them to school in order to... teach them how to interact with men and the entire ordeal leaves everyone involved riddled with anxiety and a comical lack of social skills. Why would Ganondorf be immune?

Now, I am well aware that the whole "voe are banned" thing is probably because the Gerudo decided after Ganondorf that men are bad news. But that in itself shows that they were never reasonable about it to begin with, since they're letting one man's actions speak for all men. I digress.

What I'm getting at is that Ganondorf may have been doomed by the narrative after all. I never bought the idea that Ganondorf is a tragic character who's only evil because of Demise's curse, or because he was just trying to provide for his people, but I can buy that his people's general inability to be normal around him contributed to him going mad. As in, he could have turned out to be just an average spoiled-prince-turned-ambitious-douchey-king, but he had the misfortune of being raised by people who WILL ensure you are anti-social, completely out of touch with reality, and the opposite of well-adjusted by the time they're done with you.

The Gerudo NPCs' dialogue makes me wonder what kind of NPC dialogue we could have gotten from the random Gerudo men who were born every 100 years and never caused Hyrule problems, or from Ganondorf himself for that matter, if he was allowed to wander the kingdom himself for a bit. Could you imagine an idiot savant version of Ganondorf—a version of him that is clearly cunning and skilled but can also be awkward and straight up ignorant in the same way his subjects who travel the kingdom are sometimes?

This is just my brain farting. Please don't take it too seriously.

[marciabrady]

How would you rank ‘One Song’, ‘Once Upon a Dream’, and ‘So This Is Love’ aka the most top tier romantic duets Disney had ever produced?

This is such a great question and I really don't want to cop out but I'll never be able to choose between the original four princesses ever so it really just depends on my mood/what I need to listen to! All three are some of my favorite songs ever, so I'll just list what I get from them/why I listen to them at different times and for what reason:

I'm Wishing/One Song: I'm Wishing is the first song I ever remember hearing. I was obsessed with the echoes and it's the only song in English my grandparents know- it was Adriana's favorite, too! There's such a magical quality to it and I love, for as mythical a Princess as Snow White is, her very human lyric of "I'm dreaming of the nice things he'll say." It really does remind you that, at the heart of it all, Snow White is someone who's been abused and neglected but still has a tender heart, in spite of her circumstances, just wants someone who will treat her with affection for a change. Her wish is very human and, beyond imagining what he should look like or about the riches he possesses, she just wants to be loved and feel safe around someone. It's such a vulnerable, soft moment, and to be countered with One Song! One Song is so steadfast in its dedication and what everyone wishing for love could ever hope for- someone you're in love with, being respectful but still consistent and unwavering in declaring their love for you. The lyrics have such a hold on me- "one song, my heart keeps singing, of one love, only for you." It isn't beauty or innocence that draws the Prince to the Princess- but, in this fairytale universe, they truly are meant and made for each other. She isn't just going to be tossed aside for another pretty face or Princess, this is truly the only love of the Prince's life, which is why he continues to venture through all the seasons while riding in the forest, searching for his lost love when Snow White is thought to be dead. I listen to this when I need to feel more solid in the belief that my soulmate is out there and that I'll know it when I see them, but also that it'll be easy- I won't be riddled with thinking of how to maintain their interest or reach out to them or how to overcome my anxiety. If they're as interested as I am, things will naturally progress and the strength of that unity and bond will overcome any other temporary hardship that might fall in our path during the courting period that would dissuade any other lesser relationship. True love isn't fragile- it isn't something that'll go away if you say the wrong thing, or don't happen to be somewhere one day. True love is strong and withstanding and everlasting.

So This is Love: THIS SONG. Not to sound like a 2010 gif but all the feels. Cinderella just got to the dance by the skin of her teeth after having to fight for her right to go all day and after being assaulted and ripped to literal shreds by her abusers. She's a spirited and lively girl, but the harsh encounters she's made contact with that day are understandably giving her slight social anxiety. She's the only young maiden to go to the ball without a chaperon, as we see, and she's late to the proceedings. She doesn't stand in line, but plans on spending the night by herself, surrounded in the marvels of the building- when he approaches her. To this point, every physical encounter we've seen with Cinderella is other blatantly violent or borders on being violent. The stepsisters pushing their fingers in her face, her dress being ripped off her body, being on the receiving end of sneers and mockery and insults. When the Prince first reaches for her hand, she's startled and it's almost as if she thinks she's going to be hit...because that's what all of her interactions have played out as, thus far. She's never been on the receiving end of a warm touch or a loving motion or an act of tenderness. She's been ridiculed and humiliated and demeaned...she probably never thought she'd ever experience love and, when she does- the floating notes of Ilene's voice rising higher and higher and higher are ethereal and so elating and gratifying. For the first time in her life, she's made the discovery of what love truly could be, and the Prince, too, is transformed by it- this rich boy who was bored by all the luxuries surrounding him realizes that it's love that's more important than all the treasure in the world and the only thing that can make him feel alive. The spurts of energy and silent affection they carry for one another is so beautifully compelling and to think Cinderella got to experience this after so many years of pain is so emotional for me. I listen to this when I'm at my lowest and am convinced I'll never again feel those butterflies in my stomach that bring you to the sky when you're in love, or that happiness that makes your smile spread so wide on your face before you even show any teeth- the type that makes your cheeks warm and pink and tuck your chin into your chest- and it works, like a charm, every time in showing me what could be just around the corner and how much that would change my entire life, even if nothing else in my life actually changes.

Once Upon a Dream: Where to even begin lol you all know that Aurora is the Princess I identify with the most and this song is the prime example of why. She's an innately romantic princess and is filled with so much love for her elders and the animals and the world around her, but she still wants to experience romantic love. Forced into total social isolation, she's devoid of any human contact and has to resort to her very vivid imagination to generate any stimulus or feelings of sensation...and I think all of us online folk know that outlet a little too well, whether it's fanfic we're indulging in or reader insert writing or roleplay or fan videos or anything. She sings by herself, with a mockup dream Prince, and connects her desires with those of her subconscious- which elevates it all to me. She sings of her dreams and what happens at night and how there's a nagging knowledge that all of her illusions will disappear once she awakens, but the emotional perplexity and depth to her dreams and the desires of her heart tell her that it can't just be an illusion though she logically knows it is. It's really fascinating in a way where most people you meet will never be able to even understand this depth to Aurora, but then again they probably wouldn't have spent enough time with her to deconstruct it to this extent...but I digress. So, for her song- which is so unreal and otherworldly but also anchored by the support of the world in the knowledge of the distinction between the dream world and the waking one- to actually be interjected by that very figment of her imagination coming to life and sprouting her own words back to her is soooo unimaginable and entrancing and exciting, especially considering Phillip doesn't just sing her own words back to her- it really does feel as though she, too, is the person he sees in his dreams every night and it fills you with all these new colors and images and feelings that Aurora's verse does, despite the fact that they're identical lyrics. I listen to this one so often, because it represents so much of the intimacy and sensuality and how realistic us dreamers are forced to be while still maintaining our soaring spirits and so many other qualities that would take me forever to list out. But I mainly listen to this one when I feel like I need the wants and cries of my heart to feel heard and to embrace that intimacy I mentioned earlier

[mousemannation]

thank u for the tag @clayvedevs :333

a little get to know me tag game!

1. Do you make your bed?

... no but in my defence i have a loft bed so its very difficult to do

2. Favourite number?

hmm 3, 4 and 7 r my favourite digits. im a big fan of i hashtag complex numbers. grahams number and tree(3) r fun, oh -1/12 is a classic, pi as well... gosh so sorry i am a mathspilled nerd so,,,

3. What's your job?

never had one hashtag disabled

4. If you could go back to school, would you?

i never finished high school and i have thought about trying (for the like fourth time) to get a hsc (high school certificate, there r ways to get an equivalent qualification for mature age students) but idk. im at TAFE for fashion/costume and i dont really need an hsc for that. i have thought about eventually going to uni for maths though, and i would definitely have to take an entrance exam for that since i dont have an hsc. i do qualify for loads of exceptions though so its not all losses (yay disability?)

5. Can you parallel park?

never tried (have driven a total of 8 hours)

6. Do you think aliens are real?

in some form, yeah

7. Can you drive a manual car?

see q5 (no)

8. Guilty pleasure?

hmm... i believe cringe is dead and i also do/interact with surprisingly little.. i guess maybe like blind boxes? i dont get them often but theyre so expensive so i do feel guilty every time i see a kirby one and cant resist.

9. Tattoos?

nay, although now that all my friends are getting them i have been thinking about it. its not like. really on the cards bc i cant make decisions for the life of me but if i could id be so basic and get an ouroboros. and probably a guinea pig.

10. Favourite colour?

sage green, marone

11. Favourite type of music?

i'll listen to most kinds of music but i definitely gravitate to like emo, post hardcore, rock- that sort of thing

12. Do you like puzzles?

like jigsaw puzzles or? i mean i like jigsaws and i also like other kinds of puzzles. always my go to genre of game. riddles and cryptic crosswords and escape rooms my beloved

13. Any phobias?

hmm well ive got social anxiety disorder but other than that i dont think so?

14. Favourite childhood sport?

i deliberately was on every sports team in primary school at least once (except cricket lol) bc i actually did enjoy sports, but the aforementioned anxiety disorder made actually pursuing that difficult. i also did dance, gymnastics, acrobatics and trampolining at some point during childhood. i do miss acro, that was the last extracurricular i did before i got mucho depressed and my life basically stopped circa 2016. the only sport ive ever followed as a fan is tennis!

15. Do you talk to yourself?

yes lol mostly in my head but also out loud sometimes. born to be a yapper fr

16. Tea or coffee?

im a tea truther (earl grey with soy milk !!!!) and also a bubble tea fiend, BUT i will fuck up a mocha (or an iced coffee with enough milk and sugar to cover the bitterness)

17. First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

i was a veritable horse girl from a VERY young age so probably something related to horses?? like a showjumper maybe.

18. What movies do you adore?

love a good (or laughably bad) horror movie. a cure for wellness, orphan, killing of a sacred deer r all movies gave 5 stars. also love a good children's animated movie! unironically a big fan of the secret life of pets movies, ferdinand, that sort of thing. g-force remains the best movie of all time.

i am tagging: @soronya @tennis-kittens @nick-cassidy @shapovalovvs :33

[anonymous101380]

entry one: 04/20/2024

I have to force my name down others' throats just to be seen as slightly important. 

I hate to feel excluded. I try so hard to relate with others, be interested in the things that people love so much, and I never say no - to scared to miss out on something even if all I want to do is to stay at home. Even though I actually consider myself decently extroverted. I do want to go out to bars, I do want to stay out all night, I do want to have those fun stories. Those stories that everyone can’t wait to tell their kids in twenty years. But does anyone want to include me in their stories? I mean I bring nothing to the table. I’m not the smart one, I’m not the funny one, I’m not the pretty one. I’m always the friend to keep the one's best friend busy while the other two get it on - if that gives you any insight into my life. 

In a weird way I’m scared to make friends. Scared that they’ll see the real me, and absolutely hate me. Which is why I often change myself to fit in with others. But even that doesn’t work. When the person next to you is so magnetizing, so alluring. They naturally draw people in. They’re the smart one, they’re the funny one, they’re the pretty one. They’re the one that people want around, and I get the pity invite. The pity follow on social media - actually people have stopped doing that. They’ll ask for the follow, but won’t follow back - even if I didn’t want to follow them in the first place. They just wanted to follow the interesting one, but didn’t want to seem rude. 

I feel so weird in those “group” conversations. I feel like I’m forcing myself into the discussion, and that everything I say is wrong. I fear being wrong. Drawing the wrong attention to myself. It just seems so easy for everyone, they mingle so well. Just for once I want to be the smart one, the funny one, the pretty one. I don’t want to be awkwardly fidgeting with my clothes or my hair. I don’t want to be riddled with anxiety, just to come home depressed and disappointed. Even on social media I’m scared to interact with anything people post. I don’t want to come off clingy or obsessed, but for others it’s so easy for them to comment on a post, or to slide into the DMs, or to even tag someone in a post. I couldn’t even fathom tagging someone in a post - but god I want to. I want to be that nonchalant girl that has no fear of being too much. I just want to be included.  

-anonymous101380