#/ but i do expect alimony.

[moonrevolutions]

actually in hell

@shadowhoops has been playing the song hot potato by the wiggles for over 24 hours straight in the living room.

i want a divorce actually.

[transgendz]

My roommates phone bill came out two weeks earlier than expected, and she pays it using her alimony, which is also on a schedule. Long story short, she's about $120 short of being able to cover everything she needs to cover this week, food, a drs appt, and gas. I am the only one in the house able to work, and I'm the sole provider of the household, and my checks this week and next are going totally to rent and food. She urgently needs help with this.

I will do art as thanks for this for her just message me at my art blog @theartistrans

$C--V--PP--kofi

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Code of Conduct 5

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as cheating, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: your boss has a difficult time keeping his personal life from bleeding into his work. 

Characters: Steve Rogers, this reader is known as Rosie.

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

💼Part of the Bad Bosses AU💼

Mr. Rogers leaves without saying a word. His face is pale as his hand opens and closes in a fist at his side and he strides past your desk. You watch after him, thinking for a moment that you should follow. No, he has to sort this out on his own. You’ve already done too much. 

You go through his calendar and cancel his only other meeting. You don’t think that’s going to happen.  

It’s strange sitting there alone. Mr. Rogers comes and goes often but not know when he’ll be back puts you on edge. An hour passes then another. You spend your lunch outside in the sunshine then come back in to the stale office air. 

Your phone rings and you answer. You’re surprised when Rogers’ voice comes from the speaker. You expected it to be Dizzie for some reason. She’s been awfully quiet today. 

“She changed the locks,” he croaks. 

There’s static on the line and thrum that’s so loud it nearly drowns him out. 

“Sir?” You sit up straight. 

“Peggy. She locked me out. I don’t... I don’t know what to do. I’ve just been sitting here in my car...” his voice is a dull murmur. 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Rogers. Is that—can she do that? Can you call your lawyer? The police?” 

“Police told me to call the lawyer. Lawyer says it’s gonna take a while so... yeah.” 

“I’m so so sorry,” you touch your cheek. “I can’t even imagine... that’s horrible.” 

“Yeah, I mean, who would leave you, Rosie? No, that’d be crazy.” He sniffles, “guess I deserve this. I worked so much, all so I could give her the life she wanted but it turns out I worked just enough to drive her away.” 

“Sir,” you utter. 

“Guess I could go to a hotel. I mean, might as well spend the money before I have alimony to pay,” he laughs crisply. “Bucky’s not picking up. I thought maybe I could stay there but... just because my life is falling apart doesn’t mean he needs to pick up the pieces.” 

He sounds so broken it makes your heart rend. Something about his cadence also worries you. He doesn’t sound healthy. 

“Sir, where are you?”  

You realise then what that noise is. Water. 

“By the bridge. The water looks cold.” 

You swallow and stand up. “I’ll come to you, alright?” 

“Rosie? Why...” 

“Just, it’s okay, sir, I’ll be there. Is that Collingswood Bridge? I love the flowers there.” 

“Yeah, that’s the one,” he answers. 

“Alright, I’m on my way okay, so let’s stay on the phone.” 

“Rosie, why do you sound so upset?” 

“I’m not upset. I just think you need a friend so I’m coming. Did you want me to message Mr. Barnes as well.” 

“I told you, he’s too busy for me,” he mopes. 

“But just in case--” 

“Oh, woah!” He exclaims. 

“Sir, what--” 

“Nothing, nothing, I just... this bridge is so high up.” 

You tamp down your worry and take a breath, “sir, I canceled your meetings. Oh, did I tell you, they’re opening a new donut place downstairs too! I know your favourite is the one with the sprinkles.” 

“You remember,” he says softly.  

“Of course, sir,” you assure him. 

You keep chattering about nothing in particular as you swipe up your bag and race out of the office. You try not let him hear you panting as you rush down to catch a cab. You mute the phone to tell the driver to head to the bridge then get back on the line. 

The conversation rolls on as you don’t let Rogers stop talking. You get out with a hasty thanks and tip to the driver. You rush down the bridge without looking ahead and only after you’re halfway down do you see your boss sitting on the railing. Holy moly. 

You slow and walk up to him slowly, letting out quiet mhm’s and uh huhs and you grab onto his forearm. He flinches and you tug on him. You won’t be able to stop him from going over if he slips but you didn’t want to just call out to him and give him a warning. 

“Rose!” He looks at you and lowers his phone. “How’d you get here?” 

“Mr. Rogers, please, will you get off the railing?” You ask softly. 

He stares at you then looks out at the water. He laughs and turns to hang his legs over the inside of the bridge. “Sure, Rosie. Were you worried?” 

“I just wanna make sure you’re okay, sir,” you cling to him until he’s on his feet. He glances down at you grip and you finally let go. 

“I’m good. I’m great, now that you’re here. Did you find me a room yet?” He asks. 

You wince. You’ve been on the phone this whole time. When does he think you did that? 

“Are you okay?” You ask. 

“Of course, of course,” his eyes are red from tears, his cheeks pallid and streaked. 

“Um, I’m sorry, everything’s booked up,” you say, “how about you come to my place? You can stay on my couch. Just for tonight.” 

“Really?” His brow wrinkles, “you’d do that for me?” 

“Uh, yeah,” you answer. You don’t think leaving him alone right now would be smart. Nor could you forgive yourself if anything happened. “It’s fine. My place is just a bit small.” 

“Mm, I don’t mind,” he smiles and pushes his shoulders up in a shiver as a breeze blows across the water. “It’s cold out here.” 

“It is, sir,” you agree. “Where did you park?” 

[harunayuuka2060]

Leona: ...Ruggie, are you sure that this is the place they're staying at? *looking at a small house*

Ruggie: Yes. Why?

Leona: ...

Leona: *frowns* Wasn't the alimony they received enough?

Ruggie: Uh... About that, Leona... MC sent it back.

Leona: ...

Leona: What did you say?

Ruggie: MC sent it back. The alimony.

Leona: ...

Ruggie: *knows that he's feeling furious* Let's go now. We shouldn't be here.

Leona: ...

MC: *reads the letter their father sent them*

"Come back to the estate and apologize."

MC: ...

MC: This is so disappointing. How can you not know your own child?

MC: *burns the letter*

MC: ...

MC: I need to find a job soon.

MC: Unfortunately, no one would take me out of fear of the Kingscholars.

MC: Should I just move to other places?

MC: *then suddenly felt a sharp pain in their chest*

MC: ...

MC: I see. Then we're going to travel.

Leona: ...

Leona: Ruggie.

Ruggie: I-I don't know, Leona! They were just here yesterday!

Leona: Didn't I tell you to spy on them?

Ruggie: Come on! How would I know?!

Leona: ...

Leona: Tch.

MC: *has arrived at Scalding Sands*

Jamil: Are you-

MC: I am not a noble anymore. So spare the title.

Jamil: ...

Jamil: *smiles* My name is Jamil Viper. My parents are expecting you.

MC: Hm.

Jamil: There are a lot of rooms for servants in the Al Asim estate.

MC: Yes. You did mention that in the letter.

Jamil: There is one which I think would be suitable for you.

Jamil: It has a bed and a cradle left by the former servants.

MC: That's good. I'll be using that then.

Jamil: Very well.

Kalim: Jaaaaaamiiiiiillllll! *running towards them*

Jamil: *sigh* Kalim.

Kalim: Hm? Is that the new hire?

Jamil: Yes. Meet MC.

MC: Pleasure to meet you, my lord.

Kalim: Haha! I like you already!

MC: ...

MC: Naive.

Jamil: ...

Jamil: I can't argue with that.

Kalim: Hm?

Ruggie: So, uh, Leona? MC left Sunset Savannah completely.

Leona: ...

Ruggie: ...

Ruggie: It isn't a surprise anyway, right?

Leona: ...

Leona: Ruggie, I have a new job for you.

Ruggie: Yeah?

Leona: I want you to investigate what had happened to MC here.

Ruggie: Huh? Do you think there were others besides the false accusations of them receiving different people in your shared bedroom?

Leona: Yes. And if you have time, investigate their family as well.

Ruggie: I-

Ruggie: ...

Ruggie: Leona? Why are you concerned about them all of a sudden?

Leona: ...

Leona: Quit asking. *then left*

Ruggie: ...

Ruggie: *mutters* Why did you divorce if you're just going to look for them like this?

[gentrychild]

If the ask game is still open how about an Anyone au where when AFO asked about Izuku's family Izuku went on an hour long rant complete with a PowerPoint that illustrated all his special feelings about his dad

1 - In this AU, AFO actually had the courage to ask Izuku about his family and how he felt about his parents. Even if he lived for 200 additional years, he would still regret that decision. He certainly didn't expect for Izuku to spring The Power Point Of All Power Points detailing his hatred for his deadbeat dad, Midoriya Hisashi.

2 - Three hours into the Powerpoint, Izuku notices that AFO is crying. He asks him why and AFO says that it's because growing his eyes back left them sensitive and in need to be hydrated and how he will probably need to retire for the night soon to let let them rest. Izuku opens a drawer, threw eye drops at him, and continues his presentation. AFO should have known better than to open that Pandora Box and isn't allowed to leave until Izuku has ranted away all of his Daddy Issues.

3 - AFO, not wanting to meet his parents' fate, try to introduce Izuku to the idea that his father might have a good reason for leaving, that he might be dead or incapacitated. Izuku. Does. Not. Care. Izuku makes it clear that if Hisashi ever shows himself in front of him, he will throw him from a building as many times as it takes to kill him. AFO believes him.

4 - Time for Plan B: time to convince Izuku that his deadbeat dad is someone AFO wants dead. Since he is an ambitious man, he naturally picks Yagi, thinking that now that Izuku has stolen his quirk, it's time to take his life. He creates "proof" that Toshinori can change appearance and that his secret identity used to be Midoriya Hisashi. It's so convincing that Izuku breaks into the Might Tower with an album picture, several DNA tests and generally emitting a "????" sound.

5 - Now, All Might is an intelligent man who knows when someone is trying to pull an emotionally charged narrative climax where one murders his father. But since he is also dumb, he doesn't say "Mmm, your dad is AFO and is manipulating you. Also, could you give me back my quirk please." Instead, he says "I am so sorry, I had to leave to protect you and your mom, what do you mean you didn't get the child support and the unlimited AM merch I have been sending you every month?"

+ 1 - Now, Izuku isn't dumb either, knows that there is something fishy and if All Might is somehow truly his dad, he can't accept the "I abandoned you to protect you" excuse. But... Unlimited All Might merch. So he is willing to hear him out. As long as he keeps the merch coming.

+ 2 - All Might accidentally sics Izuku on the one who "stole the alimony and the All Might merch"... The HPSC President.

[metashard]

Rick Sanchez Imotekh arranged marriage Orizyn crackplot seed bulb (469 words (nice))

Orikan felt his shoulders lock in place as Imotekh took one pauldron in each hand and twisted the cryptek to face him. There was something intense in the phaeron's oculars, as though each were a lantern whose shutter had been flung back to reveal the fire within.

“Orikan,” he rumbled, “we are three quadrillion dollars in debt, Orikan. I need you to- I need you to marry that man. I have seen Gheden, and read of the wonders of Solemnace - he's loaded.”

“My phaeron, does our economy really-”

“The Mephrit are sending a delegation. They know that they cannot best me in outright battle, so now they're planning on burying me in contract law.” His grip tightened. Orikan tried not to flinch as he felt the outer layers of his necrodermis crackle under the strain. “Half a quadrillion of that debt is supposed to be for crypteks based in their systems. They’re going to kill me with lawyers if I can’t get them that money. I already had to deal with one set of bad knees, Orikan, I can’t have them busting these too!”

Some of Orikan’s typical irritation began to leak through his fear. “Well, what do you want me to do about it? Steal from him?”

“Dead gods, no, not more legal charges. I want you to marry him for the cash.” Imotekh pulled Orikan close then, and gestured to the horizon with his Gauntlet of Fire. “Think about it, Orikan. Just spend a few years on Solemnace-”

“Years?!”

“- siphon off a bit of moolah, get treated like royalty - oh, don't give me that look, I've seen the two of you in a room together. Make it look believable, usual political marriage slop. I’ll work on getting us cozied up to Krispekh on my side, then boom, you get to divorce him and run back here with the alimony. You can even make the breakup as ugly as you want. All you have to do is play nice and get pampered for a few years.”

“One of us will kill the other within a decan.”

“You couldn't kill each other with ten thousand years of close contact. Forgive me for not believing you for a damn second. Anyway, your ship should be ready to leave in two days.”

Orikan's vocal actuator caught in a series of blurts and sputters as he repeatedly failed to settle on what to say. Finally, “You’re pimping me out?!”

“Hey now, it's called a marriage of state when royals do it. And I neither expect nor ask you to fuck the man,” another burst of static from Orikan, “just avoid killing him until I can angle this whole thing into a decent deal with his phaeron. Sound good?”

“No?!”

“Too bad!” Imotekh finally released Orikan's shoulder with a squeal of metal on metal. “I'll send the wraiths to help you pack. Have fun!”

[basket-of-cats-and-witches]

Til Death Do We Part

“A wager, then,” he said with a dangerous smirk. “I'll be your loving husband, and in return you'll be my darling wife. If in a month’s time I can't make you fall head over heels for me, I'll divorce you and you'll receive quite the alimony.”

Kit blinked. That…was not what she expected. “And…if you win?”

Sylus leaned back in his chair, swirling the wine in his glass. “I make my wife fall in love with me, and you agree to stay with me for the rest of your life. It will make things easier in the long run for me if I don't have to go looking for a new wife when your five year contract expires.”

She hesitated. This was well beyond anything she'd ever expected to happen, but she couldn't deny how much easier it made things to have him glued to her side.

Kit took her wine glass, holding it out. “You have a deal.”

He grinned, predatorial, and with a gentle clink of their glasses, the wager was made.

She couldn't help but feel as if she'd made a misstep.

-

My first multi chapter fic for this fandom! If it helps to encourage you to read it, know this is the fanfic that made my boyfriend hate Sylus and go on a rant about how toxic he is. I couldn't stop laughing.

Featuring Kit, my non-MC OC, and Sylus.

Likes and reblogs let me know people like my work, and encourage me to continue writing!

-

[taxkha]

would LOVE to hear your klapollo fic recs!! Personally I love anything by cosmicpoet on A03

Oh I have a bunch of cosmicpoets fics in my bookmarks! but okay okay, here we go! And if my wishes could all come true by SeaMint

“‘Our son’ my ass. You’re getting way too into this,” Apollo grumbles, rolling his eyes. “Is this your dream? Do you dream of being divorced and paying alimony, Gavin?”  Klavier doesn’t tell him that as far as dreams go, his is to live in a world where a relationship with Apollo, past tense or otherwise, is at all possible. Apollo doesn’t need specifics, or terrible confessions in vet clinics that show how badly Klavier wants to play pretend with him.

Or, Klavier, Apollo, and how cats bring people together in the most convoluted ways possible. Okay so. This one is my favourite Klapollo fanfiction, I literally left a big ass love confession in the comment section because I enjoyed it so much.

Lookin' for a boyfriend (I see that) by SeaMint Five times Apollo tells Klavier about his dates, and the one time Klavier finally gets him to stop. Love this one as well ahh ;_; if it's really me you seek by SeaMint

“Anyway,” Ema keeps going, fully ignoring his sarcasm in favor of staring at a neat corner where the walls meet the ceiling. “I asked if he wanted to go to your party together, but he said he wasn’t going.” “What?” Apollo suddenly finds it very hard to breathe. “Why?” “Hell if I know,” Ema says nonchalantly, but then she turns to him with a smirk. “See if you can figure it out: I believe he told me, and I quote—ahem—'Ach, I would, Fräulein, but I believe Herr Justice would be more comfortable without me there.’”

Or, when Apollo comes home from Khura'in only to learn that Prosecutor Gavin is avoiding him, the last thing he expected was for Gavin to offer to let Apollo stay at his house while he looks for a new apartment. Can you tell that I really like this author shjhsamd Hot for Justice by indirectkissesiniceland

After the events of State v. Misham, Klavier finds himself in a slump, stressed at the prosecutor's office and unable to pen new songs. To his surprise, he finds creative inspiration—and unexpected feelings—spending time with Apollo. Now if only he could release the new tracks without raising any suspicion as to whom his love songs are for. Do...I even need to say anything I think this one is one of the most well known fics, ive seen it in pretty much every fic rec post so far.

just finally say you love me by ahmackalak

“Backpacking through Europe?”

“Ja! I’ve wanted to go for ages – it’s been so long since I’ve been back home, I figure I might as well make it a whole journey.” Klavier’s smile is as easy and agreeable as always, but Apollo isn’t buying it.

Barcelona, Paris, Geneva, Rome, Vienna, Prague, Berlin, Copenhagen.

A trip to Europe with Klavier Gavin...this’ll be fine, right? I like this one a lot too, its very sweet and ahh. Pining. PINING. Stupid Cupid by KrisseyCrystal (IceCreAMS) In which Klavier botches his attempt to confess his feelings to Apollo, and somehow instead sends the entirely wrong message that he's already involved with someone else--a certain brooding and hawkish prosecutor, of all people. Cue the clown music. This is probably one of the funniest fics Ive ever read, I lost it at several instances. Monster Movie Monday by contritecactite

Klavier attends a bad movie marathon at the WAA, gets a boyfriend, and makes peace with Phoenix Wright. Somehow, the last part is the least awkward.

Set sometime post-DD but pre-SOJ. This one is very cute and wholesome, I love the idea of the wright agency kiddos hanging out with Klavier :") Need more of that. love at first sight (and other common misconceptions)  by experimentaldragonfire

Klavier's always been certain that when he runs into the person he's going to fall in love with, he'll just know. Apollo believes the exact opposite--that you can't fall in love with someone without getting to know them first.

After a bit of convincing, Klavier's starting to see Apollo's point.

Just read everything by this author, one of my fave authors. 10/10 humor and writing :3c in effigy by experimentaldragonfire

Apollo discovers some scandalous Gavinners merchandise in Klavier's closet. Klavier, having no shame, decides that this is an excellent opportunity to have some fun with it.

or, The One With The Official Gavinners Dildos This ones nsfw which I don't have to mention considering the...summary 8"D morning revelations (to sleep beside you from now on) by experimentaldragonfire

It’s not until he sees Klavier beside him, golden hair strewn over the pillow like some sort of Renaissance heroine, that Apollo Justice realizes he’s in love.

Apollo wakes up next to Klavier and has to come to terms with his feelings for the prosecutor. It's very cute!! This Is What You Do At Sleepovers, Right? by grimsparkblue

“Let me guess,” Phoenix said, one of those lazy, evil smiles he had back when he wore the same hoodie for weeks on end making an appearance, “You two were in the court library and the power went off. The front and back doors were locked because this place is ancient, so you two decided to tough it out until the cavalry arrived. Then the Brokeback Mountain itch hit you.”

Apollo and Klavier get stuck in the courthouse during a blackout. Enjoyed this one a lot, it's funny and sweet, as the summary suggests.

Just a Curiosity by GigglingGrave  Klavier is curious about how Apollo can see through lies. So, of course, he tries to figure it out. What he learns, however, is really much better than what he set out for. Apollo is really cool in this one and I love it when my boy gets to be cool. Baggage by u_andcloud

“Herr Forehead!” Klavier is calling out the nickname before he even realizes what he’s doing. Never mind that this is a German airport and people are giving him strange looks.

Apollo reacts immediately, and the instinctive response is gratifying on its own. His brow creases, he turns, and when he catches sight of Klavier, a disbelieving smile spreads across his lips, and Klavier realizes quite suddenly that, even after two years, he has not gotten over Apollo Justice, not even a little. This one is also really sweet. Jamais Vu by spaceburgers Apollo Justice, at 27 years old, is many things: a defense attorney, Khura’in’s Acting Minister of Justice, a mentor, a brother, a friend. And also, apparently, about to enact one of the biggest clichés of all time by sleeping with his ex at his former boss’s wedding. I LOVE THIS ONE, I already loved spaceburgers fics when I was still super into Sylvix, was very excited to see that they also wrote for Klapollo!! This one has nsfw in it! scoop of the century (read all about it!) by experimentaldragonfire

Working at a gossip magazine aimed at teenage girls is just a way for Apollo Justice to pay his law school tuition--until his article rating Klavier Gavin's outfits goes viral.

After that, he's got half the Internet reading his articles, and it's inevitable that Klavier finds out. This one is so funny!!! Also, read the second part of it which I'm not gonna link here now because its linked in the fic anyway, as its a collection. pen to paper, heart to heart by shepherd Written for the tumblr prompt, ‘instead of drawing the model in our art class ive been drawing you instead because i think youre really cute and oh my god all my papers just fell out of my folder and you saw them and oh my god theres hearts on some of them please kill me now’. Listen, I'm a simple gal. And a simple artist. Artist AUs really speak to me and this one spoke to me loudly. Its super sweet!! Loose Lips by judojudo "Please disregard all prior questions and instead just tell me one thing, Apollo," Miles Edgeworth's tone was half-smug and completely mocking and all Apollo wanted to do was melt into a puddle on the floor, never to be seen or heard from again. "Why are you on Klavier Gavin's wikipedia page?" I like fics that make me laugh and this one did, haha. we caught fire like california in july by lady_mab

n his head, Apollo mentally scolds himself for asking such a dumb question. Because of course Klavier likes him, right?

(Right? Being treated differently from a swarm of adoring fans isn’t necessarily a precursor for LIKE liking someone and what the fuck he’s twenty-four why does he sound like a high school girl from a manga trying to figure out if her crush likes her back?)

(Oh, that suddenly puts a lot of things into perspective, actually.)

(in which apollo contemplates the line between boyfriends and boys that are friends that sometimes kiss, and also contemplates turning into a crab)

This one is one of my faves! home is wherever i'm with you by bevioletskies At Athena’s request - or more accurately, her demand - the members of the Wright Anything Agency are spending their week-long winter holiday at a cozy lakeside cabin together for some quality team bonding. Much to Apollo’s dismay, she also invited their closest companions from the prosecutor’s office to tag along. With everything he thought he knew about Klavier and everything he has yet to learn, Apollo finds himself thinking he might have someone to ring in the new year with, after all. It's a bunch of AA characters having holidays together. What more do you want. Bricks, Lockets, and Other Christmas Presents by apolloyoostice Present shopping is always easier with someone you love, even if they do have a terrible sense of humor. This one is super sweet!! fame vs infamy (the price of writing fanfic out of spite) by experimentaldragonfire

In which Apollo Justice becomes the most popular fic-writer in the Gavinners fandom.

(and, along the way, realizes his Big Gay Crush on Klavier Gavin might not be as hopeless as he thought)

Honestly, when I read the summary I wasnt expecting to like it at all because this is usually not the kinda premise I'm into buuut I read it anyway because I liked the authors other works and man I had such a good time and many good laughs. The Main Event by ItsyRoyal Apollo had no idea that the flirty busker outside of his favorite cafe was his boss's brother. To be fair, Apollo also had no idea his boss had a brother. Theres a specific line around the end of the fic that had me wheezing. The rest of the fic is of course really good too!! The Definition Of Home by Hikari_Kaitou All Apollo wanted was to go right home after the legal conference in Seattle, instead of spending the night like his colleagues. He's never been able to sleep well in unfamiliar places. Unfortunately, circumstances beyond his control prevent him from returning to LA as planned, and in desperation he turns to Klavier for help. Klavier generously opens up his hotel room to him, which in turn leads Apollo to opening up his heart. Agh just. read it. Loved it. 13 Hours by Powerpossessor Apollo and Klavier are stuck together in a 13 hour layover. Stupid and hilarious antics ensue. Also, is it normal to slow dance with your friend in a dimly lit airport at 3am? THIS ONE IS SO SWEET AND FUN!!! can i go where you go by parchmints

Apollo Justice has rotten luck: he actually wins the grand prize for a mail-in contest, but It's a couple's getaway to a fancy ski lodge in the mountains and Apollo is aggressively single. With no one to go with, Apollo offers them to Klavier since surely, a rockstar would be able to find a date before then, but Klavier has a better idea—they go together and pretend they're a couple. That way, they both get a vacation, plus free food and wine.

And well, Apollo's never been one to pass up free food. VERY CUTE AND SWEET AND AHH. PINING. I love pining!! sweeping you off your feet by shepherd A short piece for a prompt on tumblr, for the quote "Please put me down, it's just a sprained ankle," featuring clumsy Apollo and his marriage to Klavier. A very sweet short piece!! Things Are As They Are by hechima

Klapollo cabin fic. That's really all this is.

Based on the events of "You Ever Been In Love?", in which Edgeworth gets drunk and rents a romantic cabin for Klavier and Apollo in Joshua Tree. Things go about as well as one could expect.

This is the most recent one in my bookmarks so the list ends here. I have a lot more bookmarked but these are the ones that made the biggest impression on me! Hope you or anyone else on here can find something they havent read yet! x)

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Married, Colleagues, Divorced

This thought would enter his mind: Something about it is definitely different. (Gaara Hiden, Ch. 1) | Ten Days of Tenzo (@tendaysoftenzo) Day 5: Kakashi | AO3 |

                          ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Yamato to Kakashi of the Two Normal Eyes: Kakashi. Can I ask you a question...?

Kakashi to Colleague I Think About Such a Normal Amount: Yes, Tenzō?

Yamato: Did you date Iruka?

Kakashi: Why do u ask?

Yamato: Something Naruto said about going on outings with the two of you. Apparently, you even paid. 

Kakashi: We are amicably divorced

Yamato: Elaborate. 

Kakashi: The outings are part of our custody arrangement. The ramen is alimony

Yamato: I understand all of these words but not in this order. 

Kakashi: What’s not to understand. It’s important to model healthy separation for the kids 

Yamato: So you two did date?

Kakashi: No. Next question 

-- 

Kakashi to Standing Tenzōvation: Come sit here

Yamato to Hatake a Bow: I’ll come find you after. We’re going to get in trouble for texting during jōnin council deliberation again. 

Kakashi: I tried talking to u with Anbu hand signals. U said those were too obvious

Yamato: They are too obvious; you should see the message Genma sent me after the last council. Why do I need to sit there anyway? 

Kakashi: I want to eat with u today and if I’m not already occupied after we finish I will be caught in a meeting vortex

Yamato: Comes with the new job-title, Rokudaime-sama.

Kakashi: Not until next week, officially. And I didn’t enjoy any part of that sentence.

Yamato: Well, aren’t you emotionally forthright today? It’s refreshing. 

Kakashi: Does that mean u will buy lunch?

Yamato: You’re the one who just got a promotion. Hokage’s treat? 

Kakashi: I’ll spar u for it

Yamato: You’re on. 

--

Kakashi to Magic Mountain: Soup on your windowsill 

Yamato to Lord Sixth Flags: Thank you. You could come in, you know. 

Kakashi: U need some rest. Plus I have been assigned a mission to have tea with Hyuga-san 2nite

Yamato: That’s a new one. Who assigned that?

Kakashi: Me. 😔 I’ve been told clan relations are my problem now

Yamato: I can hardly wrap my head around you being a politician. 

Kakashi: I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around u nearly getting chakra exhaustion from a spar

Yamato: How many times have YOU gotten chakra exhaustion?

Kakashi: I haven’t kept a count 

Yamato: I have. 16.

Kakashi: That’s not bad. 1.4% of missions. Point is that’s what I expect from me, not u 

Yamato: Give me a break. I’ve only ever fought you when you had your sharingan. I didn’t account for how much stamina you’d have without it. My hospital check-up was quick and painless. 

Kakashi: Easy for u to say, u weren’t awake for the berating when I hauled u in

Yamato: Tsunade-sama or Sakura?

Kakashi: Sakura, thankfully. She still feels bad about hitting me, unlike her shishō

Yamato: Are we in trouble?

Kakashi: Don’t think so. The killing intent stopped after u woke up 

Kakashi: Sakura threatened to abandon her post and become a rogue ninja if we ever do it again, but I have a plan for that

Yamato: Do you anticipate Sakura leaving Konoha?

Kakashi: Not really. But after Sasuke I figured the other two should have contingencies, and I kept adding as u and Sai joined 

Yamato: Are you saying you have a plan for a scenario where all five other members of our team abandon the village? 

Kakashi: Don’t take this the wrong way but I have a 14-step-plan for that scenario

Yamato: Both impressive and concerning. 

Kakashi: That’s what they tell me in ninja therapy

Yamato: You have a therapist? 

Kakashi: Yeah. Don’t u?

Yamato: Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve never been more attracted to you.

Kakashi: Hm. What’s your average amount of attraction to me?

Yamato: I abstain from the question.

Kakashi: 🤔😈㊙️❓

--

Sakura to Team Thanks for Pardoning Sasuke, Sensei: reminder that our new team photo will be taken tomorrow. naruto buy a hairbrush. sensei and sasuke remember to show up on time 

Naruto: i own a hairbrush!! it just doesn’t work on my hair y’know

Sakura: bring it and i’ll help. i’m not breaking another one of my combs

Sasuke: Why do I get lumped in with Kakashi? I’m on time.

Sakura: you missed the last three years of team meetings

Sasuke: Touché. 

Sai: Do Yamato-taichō and I need to do anything? 

Sakura: i think you’ll both be fine. don’t worry too much about what kind of smile you need. be natural

Sai: I will join you early so we can practice being natural.

Sakura: that’s not what i meant. but sure we can get breakfast 

Naruto: me too!!!!

Sakura: NOT ichiraku. 

Naruto disliked “NOT ichiraku.” 

Sasuke liked “NOT ichiraku.” 

Naruto: :(((((((((((( ok 

Yamato: Kakashi and I will both have a meeting about the new housing developments first thing. I can make sure we get there.

Naruto: should u be spending so much time together?

Naruto: i don’t want yamato-taichō to catch ur chakra exaustion again kaka-sensei

Kakashi: For the last time, I did not GIVE Yamato chakra exhaustion. U can’t catch it

Sakura: debatable.

Sai: Sakura does offer medical credibility to Naruto’s theory.

Kakashi: Tenzō, tell them.

Yamato: I haven’t ruled it out.

Naruto: SEE. ur contagious sensei 

Kakashi: I miss when u all found me intimidating

Sasuke: We never found you intimidating. 

Sakura liked “We never found you intimidating.”

Naruto liked “We never found you intimidating.”

Yamato: Didn’t you make them homemade bento on their first day? Not your most menacing tactic. 

Naruto: tbh iruka-sensei and jiraiya-sensei had a lot more rules than u 

Naruto: ur gonna have to work on that as Hokage!

Sai: If you would like, I can pretend to find you intimidating. I’m a very good actor. 

Kakashi: Thank u, Sai. 😔🤘 

--

Anko to Jōnin Gone Wild: @Shiranui Genma, Married, Colleagues, Divorce: Gai, Raidō, Aoba 

Genma: Easy. Marry Raidō, Colleagues Gai, Divorce Aoba

Aoba: I understand

Gai: You have ALWAYS been an EXCELLENT Colleague, my friend!!!

Raidō: 👌

Yamato: What kind of a game is this?

Anko: Kakashi invented it. Something about it being a therapy exercise

Kakashi: Actually, my therapist advised against it. But I’m glad we have a new game. Shizune was 2 good at online mahjong

Shizune: You would be too if you grew up with Tsunade-sama. Also your next meeting is 5 minutes. I’ll bring the briefing when I’m upstairs

Kurenai: You know, as Hokage, technically Kakashi is responsible for all active shinobi. He shouldn’t be allowed to date any of his colleagues

Anko: Hahahah, government-mandated celibacy

Kakashi: I’ve been Hokage for like 3 days and none of u respect authority anyways 

Kurenai: Are you saying you DO want to date a jōnin?

Anko emphasized, “Are you saying you DO want to date a jōnin?”

Yamato emphasized, “Are you saying you DO want to date a jōnin?”

Kakashi: U think I don’t know a trap when I see one

Shizune: He has a picture of gljljLKHGLJ

Shizune: I would like everyone to know that Kakashi-sama grabbed my phone when I was writing that message. 

Kakashi: Aiming for meeting brief. New depth perception with 2 eyes. Talk later bye

--

Yamato to Celibacy Senpai: Explain to me how the game works again. Since we’re colleagues, we can’t be married or divorced?

Kakashi to Comrade Featured in Several GROUP Photos: It’s more of a state of mind

Kakashi: Take for example, if I had u, Yugao and Ibiki. I’d Colleagues Yugao, Divorce Ibiki and Marry u. 

Yamato: That implies you were married to Ibiki before me. 

Kakashi: Would it affect ur interest in marrying me?

Yamato: No, but I’d wonder why we didn’t get married first. We get along more.

Kakashi: We prioritized our friendship over other potential kinds of bonds

Yamato: I think we've got a pretty good track record for adapting. Besides, spouses should be friends. Anyway, none of this answers the question of why you’d suddenly marry someone else.

Kakashi: We were separated by a tsunami. U lost ur memory and I couldn’t find u so Ibiki and I got together so the kids could have another role model

Yamato: How long was I gone before you moved on? 

Kakashi: We co-parented but I didn’t move on. That’s why u and I get married 

Yamato: What if I’m more of a long-term-romantic-roommates kind of guy? 

Kakashi: I’d make that work

Yamato: In the game?

Kakashi: Sure. In the game

--

Naruto to Team Congratulations Chūbu Sai: i went 2 the yamanaka flower shop for plant food after we met up and u’ll never guess what i saw!! u know the bandana guy?

Yamato: Genma? 

Kakashi: Ibiki?

Sakura: Ebisu-sensei? 

Naruto: no. sasuke hair

Kakashi: Izumo

Yamato: Izumo. 

Naruto: yeah him!! he was buying flowers for that other guy. big stick.

Sakura: 🤨

Kakashi: That’s Kotetsu. And? 

Naruto: he was BUYING FLOWERS. for that GUY. for a DATE!!!!!

Sai: Ino tells me it is customary to bring your partner gifts like flowers to show your affection. 

Naruto: I DIDN’T KNOW THAT WAS AN OPTION!!

Kakashi: Dating Kotetsu? It isn’t. He’s in a relationship. And he’s too old for u

Naruto: DATING A GUY!!

Yamato: Why didn’t you think it was an option, Naruto? 

Naruto: i mean, everyone thinks that way about guys and girls and everyone 

Naruto: but no one DOES IT, y’know

Sai questioned “i mean, everyone thinks that way about guys and girls and everyone.” 

Sai: Is that true?

Sakura: i think this is the wrong chat to ask that question in 

Yamato emphasized, “i think this is the wrong chat to ask that question in.”

Sai: Why? 

Kakashi: I can give u a book that will explain it, Sai. Anyway Naruto, people can date anyone they want, within reason. As long as the people involved like each other

Naruto: anyone?

Kakashi: Yeah. Even more than one person at once. Right, Sasuke? 👨🏻‍🎤

Sasuke: What’s that emoji supposed to mean?

Kakashi: I just like to make sure ur phone is on. 

Naruto: i gotta go for a walk

--

Yamato to It’s Kakamplicated: I’m going to tell him.

Kakashi to Konoha’s Next Top Anbu (Not a Sex Thing. Maybe A Sex Thing): Give him a few more days, he’ll figure it out 

Yamato: …How long did it take you to figure it out?

Kakashi: I abstain from the question

Yamato: 🙄

Kakashi: Fine. 19. 

Yamato: Age or years?

Kakashi: Definitely one of those two things. Next question 

--

Iruka to Senseis R Us: What have you been telling Naruto?

Kakashi: U’ll have to be more specific

Iruka: Why did Naruto say he was going to hang out with my ex-husband?!

Kakashi: What makes u think I have anything to do with it

Iruka: I didn’t say I was talking to you. However, he was going to see your team and I don’t think Yamato-san is responsible for this!!

Yamato: I’m going to leave this one in Kakashi’s capable hands.

Iruka: Kakashi. What is wrong with you?

Yamato: Becoming a chunin at the age of 6, a strangely public black ops career, a possible attachment disorder and some very interesting tan lines. 

Kakashi: That’s the kunai calling the shuriken sharp. 

Kakashi: Also I’ll show u some interesting tan lines

Yamato loved “Also I’ll show u some interesting tan lines.” 

Kakashi: Anyway. I didn’t say much, Naruto was just curious about our history 

Iruka: We don’t have a history?? 

Kakashi: What about when I reupholstered your sofa?

Iruka: Was that... a romantic activity for you?

Kakashi: This is why we’d never work out, Iruka. 

Iruka: Because you text like a member of the cypher corps? 

Yamato: It’s not so bad. His birthday messages are very heartfelt. 

Kakashi loved “It’s not so bad. His birthday messages are very heartfelt.”

Kakashi: Thank you, Tenzō.  

Iruka: Who’s Tenzō?

Yamato liked “Who’s Tenzō?” 

Kakashi loved “Who’s Tenzō?” 

Iruka: This is going on your performance review as an ex-husband.

Kakashi: That’s fair

--

Yamato to Kakashinova: Have you seen my uniform belt? 

Kakashi to Some Kind of Wooderful: I have not. U do keep taking it off every time we eat if that helps?

Yamato: I can’t get used to the placement. But I’ll need to find it or order another one before my next check-in. You know how they are about item counts. 

Kakashi: U can use one of mine if u want 

Yamato: Your black belt which has Rokudaime Hokage stitched on the inside? I’ll pass, thanks. 

Kakashi: I don’t know why they keep putting that on everything. But u can’t see that part while ur wearing it anyway. It’s the same belt 

Yamato: Yes, but the Anbu would know it was your belt. I get enough heat for how much time we spend together as it is.

Kakashi: Favouritism?

Yamato: More like wisecracks about holding a torch for you. 

Kakashi: Haha why. Do you have a crush on me, Tenzō?

Yamato: You know the answer to this one. Next question.

Kakashi: What makes u think I know the answer?

Yamato: You’re the smartest person in this village. And we see each other every day.

Kakashi: We all have our Shodaime’s nipple

Yamato: Some of us more than most. Let’s try a different question. How many times have we kissed each other?

Kakashi: 7. 9 and a half if u count missions 

Yamato: Where are you getting the half from?

Kakashi: CPR

Yamato: Ah. So, in those nine-and-a-half moments... You didn’t have any suppositions? Inferences? Lessons gleaned from experience? 

Kakashi: Four and a half of them we’d need to discount for recall, and the last few are harder to report on due to observer bias

Yamato: The observer bias in you gauging my romantic feelings.

Kakashi: Yes

Yamato: Because you would like?

Kakashi: You

Yamato: Me to what?

Kakashi: Long-term romantic roommates, eventually

Yamato: Oh.

Kakashi: Yeah. Do you mind?

Yamato: No, I don’t mind. Maybe we can start with dinner and a walk first? 

Yamato: And Kakashi? I long-term romantic roommates you too. 

Kakashi: That’s a funny way to ask me on a date. 💘 See u in an hour?

Yamato: It’s on.

[zukkacore]

Coupling a few different headcanons together and I don’t remember if divorce exists in ATLA or if Mai is Izumi’s mom but part of me does think it would be funny if Zuko invented divorce specifically for Mai’s sake & so with her alimony from her failmarriage she’s free to spend several years being roommates w Sokka while they go to the university in ba sing se except this is not so that she can be employable her goal is to rack up as many useless degrees as possible.

One of her and Sokka’s favorite pastimes is attending essentially university workshops for open “mic” nights for like spoken word and stuff. Sokka kinda enjoys the artistry, Mai just wants to not be bored so she approaches these evenings with more irony-poisoning than he does. Mai thinks it would be very funny to sign Sokka up when she thinks he isn’t looking but much to her chagrin he’s actually better at making up poetry on the fly than he is writing it (not that he’s bad he studies different forms for fun™ like he’s basically a lit minor, but he also over-edits bc he’s extremely self critical).

Sokka Is good at spoken word but not in the way where it’s like, the hard hitting unpacking trauma kind of slam poetry, Sokka has never unpacked a trauma in his life, but under pressure he’s good at striking the right balance of comedy and the tiniest bit of vulnerability and clever wordplay. (This is also why he’s not that good at poetry he sits down and Thinks about, especially when asked to write anything abt himself bc he finds it incredibly navel-gazing and embarrassing). Still, Mai continues to play this joke on him when he least expects it, mainly bc she loves committing to the bit. She eases up for a while bc he starts to suspect her too much only to spring the bit onto him again whenever someone comes to visit just for maximum embarrassment, either Toph, Katara, or Zuko. Toph thinks the whole thing is hilarious. Zuko and Katara both find poetry night deeply moving, but Katara finds Sokka specifically being forced to vamp deeply funny.

She’s tried it w Suki but suki doesn’t even flinch & Mai wonders if it’s bc she’s just that supportive or if she’s just not that discerning when it comes to art. The real answer is that she is plently amused and will tell Sokka in her own time but also Sokka has embarrassed himself in front of Suki enough times that she doesn’t blink an eye at anything. Aang also is not fazed but that’s mainly bc he 100% wants to get in on the fun.

In retaliation, Sokka has gotten Mai on stage before but bc mai would rather die than spout poetry her time always ends up basically being musings abt her life that’s pseudo-workshopping material for a Tight Five & like… it’s not really poetry but the crowd is laughing including the guy who throws ppl out when ppl don’t stick to the correct form (on those specific days). So nobody is going to stop her. She tells a lot of really dryly delivered jokes abt her shitty childhood and her failhusband Li from the tea shop and it takes a hot sec before ppl realize holy shit, she’s actually talking abt the fire lord. And also jokes abt discovering lesbianism. Which she’s thoroughly embarrassed abt being late to the party about. & even more embarrassing to be a dyke secretly love with her best friend. Afterwards, Sokka and Mai do have to correct the other patrons who approach them bc they’re convinced Sokka is the dyke she’s in love with. But they’re just friends. (I don’t know how mining comedy out of blatant dyke drama would work if we’re right to assume Sozin invent homophobia in ATLAverse but w/e).

Also. Sokka WILL boo & heckle her out loud when her material stinks. But if anything, this gives her a chance to do crowd-work which she’s good at. So even tho it’s 100% genuine ppl do start to suspect it’s staged.

I also think part of Mai racking up unemployable degrees includes assignments where she makes really off-putting and macabre interactive exhibits/art installations bc she’s trying to work on authentically expressing herself & wants to be an unpalatable as possible to make up for the years of being a perfect daughter. But she also thinks being too earnest is deeply cringe so even tho her pieces are self evidently kinda tortured and gloomy, as a way of preserving her dignity her artist statements are intentionally as brief and opaque as possible for the highest impact comedic punch.

[transhawks]

By the way the koseki stuff is why a lot of Rei divorce stuff is genuinely not like...possible. under Japanese law and expectations, she would have essentially lost all access to her kids as the courts would have ruled for Enji and there isn't joint custody in Japan. Add to that the alimony (which is like a one time payment) is decided in favor of the partner who contributed more financially, Rei divorcing Enji would have just been a catastrophe of her losing her kids and money. Not saying there isn't a chance she could do it when Shouto is a legal adult, but again there's the matter of her being able to support herself.

Like don't get me wrong; Rei did some things wrong. I strongly believe she did not handle her children right. That doesn't mean she was not a victim. And that also doesn't mean her kids can't resent her; abuse is fucking complicated and kids can hold bitterness about the parent who lets the abuse happen EVEN if the parent is a victim. themselves.

But the "why didn't she leave him and divorce him?" argument doesn't work for the culture due to the laws themselves. Often time, I think we want to have a lot of anger for the whole Todoroki storyline and Horikoshi's writing of it, but honestly? The actual villain of the Todoroki plotline is Japan's patriarchal society and laws. Horikoshi's writing reflects the absolute awfulness of family relationships in Japan. It takes a minute to find a plethora of articles where Japanese women criticize the Koseki and the way the government treats single parents in general. Sometimes we really just need to understand this is a work from an extremely different culture with its own legal perspective.

[hilsonamore]

THOUGHTS on S4 Ep.8: “You Don’t Want to Know”

i just finished s4 ep8: “You Don’t Want to Know”, which is very popular for the whole dialogue between house and wilson about blood types… House is type AB, universal recipient, whereas Wilson is type O, universal donor. House points out during the conversation that he is type AB (context: they were discussing a case where House had to receive a patient’s blood to test for something), and so Wilson grabs the opportunity and comments on it:

“of course you are type AB. Universal recipient. You take from everybody”

And then House, thinking he was all stealthy (ha!), backfires with:

“Of course you are type O. Universal donor. No wonder you pay three alimonies”

And then wilson just looks up at house and is all like, huh, how the fuck does he know what blood type i am?

“How to do you know… what blood type i am?”

And then… then there is this brilliant, rare and flabbergasted expression plastered all over House’s face. He can’t look Wilson in the eye, his own eyes have gone all hyper-alert, trying-to-guard-this-secret-with-my-life, he turns his face to the side and sips his coffee.

“I don’t. Just seemed to fit the metaphor”, says house, all jittery and awkward and nervous and everything. And then wilson asks him if he’d tested his blood for something and house denies having done that, saying that it had probably come up in a conversation between them. Yeah, HA!, as if House would have shied away from revealing he had taken a little bit of blood from somebody just to test for something, to satisfy his own twisted curiosity, which is IRONIC, because he actually did take DNA samples from Thirteen on the same episode to test her for something, which he had revealed to her by the end of the episode.

But noooo, he had to be all shy and clumsy and blushy with wilson, and we never even found out how he had actually come across this very vital piece of information, because, as wilson said, he just run out of the office, due to an epiphany about the case, very conveniently avoiding the conversation at hand.

And you know what? I understand why somebody wouldn’t read too much into this, especially if they were just a casual viewer, who doesn’t read too much into everything or is just out right blind but oh well- by purely just considering house’s character, his blunt truthfulness, his condescending, seemingly confident demeanour, the way his voice doesn’t flatter- just by taking these things into account and adding them up to this relatively tame situation including freaking blood types, the expected result is not awkwardness, is not avoidance, is not low, almost sweet voices. And this happens just with wilson.

Yeah sure his conversation with thirteen later on is pretty intense but do you see him flatter? Do you see him… feeling all awkward and weird?

Maybe i’m wrong maybe im not, but this, to my eyes, is pure testimony to the kind of effect wilson has on him and also the psychotic, pretty unnecessary need for house to know absolutely everything there is to know about wilson, without always having to shove it into his face (intentionally), but truly just wanting to understand him better (or stalk, whatever suits you) just for the heck of it. It’s like, when he’s with wilson, suppressed parts of his person resurface and it’s weird and he has know idea how to deal with this side of himself.

kiss kiss fall in love already-

[thedoover-if]

as someone who saw their dad cheat and became numb to the 'hurt' (as in, 'it happens. people like the 'thrill' of someone new') i'm really curious how the ex-spouse would react if, after the cheating was revealed, our PC was just like, '... it's fine. I kind of expected it' with a blank look and resigned tone. cue that night, PC either slept in a guest room or the couch (i have severe avoidance issue. don't judge) and the next morning, PC took a day-off to take care of the divorce procedures like a normal monday morning, truly believing the ex-spouse was just staying out of obligation and genuinely wants to give them back their 'freedom'.

(bonus: the ex-spouse later found out the reason why PC didn't take any alimony because they had a savings account 'just in case' with a HUGE sum of money, as if they were expecting it for a long time. my mom had to shoulder a lot of debts bc the sperm donor kicked us out to marry the mistress lawlz)

hi! im sorry to hear that. i hope you and your mum are doing much better now!!!

i think that would have been something that kept replaying in their mind for a long time. because, for them, the cheating was a regrettable mistake, a slip up, a thing theyd take back if they could. but to see that the MC was prepared for that to happen e.g., the savings etc., thus always expected the relationship to come to an end the way it did, would have been a tough pill to swallow.

they were supposed to be the MC's reason for believing in relationships working out, and the fact that theyve completely let them down, and that theyve essentially left the MC "disappointed but not surprised", would have really haunted them in the years following the divorce. i think there also would have been a lot more introspection, if that was the case

[dwellordream]

“Before the American Revolution, New Englanders viewed the family as a strict hierarchy, an arrangement in which power flowed from top to bottom: The father was ruler of all, the mother was underneath him, and the (theoretically) obedient children were at the bottom. After 1800, however, that ideal changed. Book and magazine writers began picturing families in which men controlled the public realm of politics and business, but women took responsibility for the private sphere of the home. A marriage was viewed more as a partnership; true, the woman was still the junior partner, but the older model of the man as an absolute ruler was no longer fashionable among middle-class Northeasterners. 

…Because the man felt he was putting so much on the line by proposing, a ‘proper’ woman was expected to return a well-reasoned reply within a short period of time. A woman knew, however, that her response was perhaps her last chance to have control over her life. Once she said ‘yes,’ the legal cards would be stacked against her, regardless of the declarations of love by her suitor. Because the expectations of middle-class marriage had been raised so high, women found reports of marital disasters very disconcerting. One married woman wrote to a single friend that marriage was a ‘sad, sober beverage’ that brought ‘some joys, but many crosses’. 

…Once married, the suitors often cooled the fiery protestations of love found in their letters. Although many couples developed strong, deep bonds of affection, the idea of separate spheres--that women should stay at home, and men go out in the world--kept them apart for many hours of their lives. Advice books and religious sermons emphasized that wives were to make the home a haven of restfulness for their husbands. 

This separation of duties provided women with other companionship, however. The split between home and work strengthened friendships between women as they came to understand what they shared with each other and how their lives differed from men’s. Unlike a wife’s relationship with her husband, a friendship with another woman was based on equality. Although women developed networks of friends and relatives, intense relationships between two women were not uncommon. 

…Although divorces were growing faster among the urban northern middle class than any other group, such separations were still rare. Within the United States, only one in a thousand marriages ended in divorce before the Civil War. If a woman successfully sued for divorce, she would soon be wondering what price she had paid for her freedom. Alimony, or money paid regularly by a husband to his former wife, was rarely awarded, although judges occasionally ordered one-time cash settlements to women who had been abused by their husbands. If a woman had brought property into the marriage, she was not likely to take it back out. Once she and her husband said their ‘I do’s,’ her husband legally controlled all she owned. Her chances for finding work were few, especially if she was approaching or beyond middle age. 

…The nature of farming meant that women and men worked the same land, that women helped produce food and earn cash. Women thus saw the farm as a mutual effort. Frontier women were also less concerned than their eastern contemporaries with raising perfect families. On the frontier, children were valued as workers and companions. These conditions made for a more pragmatic approach to child rearing. Children were an important part of the work force on a prairie farm. While the size of northeastern middle-class families was shrinking dramatically during this period, frontier families were holding steady, averaging around seven children each. Compared to northeastern women, frontier women married earlier, had children earlier, and continued to give birth for more years--often past the age of 45. 

…Marriage relations between enslaved African Americans in the South changed little during the early 19th century. Legally, a master owned a slave and could compel that person to do whatever he wished. However, most slaveholders wanted their slaves to pair off and often sanctioned slave unions with their blessing, but marriages between slaves were not recognized legally. Nonetheless, most slave owners had at least one eye on their finances in supporting a slave’s choice in marriage. A typical plantation manual advised slaveholders that a slave marriage based on love would add ‘to the comfort, happiness, and health of those entering upon it, besides ensuring greater increase.’ Such marriages produced both stability and more slaves, two requirements of a successful plantation operation.

…Although many black couples exhibited as much restraint as middle-class couples up North, it was not uncommon for children to be born out of wedlock because slave culture did not make outcasts of unwed mothers. Instead, the slave community expected the new father and mother to wed, whereupon the newborn was immediately accepted into the community. Black couples made an extra effort to respect personal boundaries in an effort to replace some measure of the self-respect their owners tried to strip from them. Indeed, a number of white observers noted that while slave couples often adhered to Christian notions of sexual restraint, their aggressive masters frequently did not. 

…Southern plantation women married earlier than northern women, usually around the age of 20. By their mid-20s, when middle-class Northerners were marrying, single plantation women were being labeled ‘old maids.’ The southern ‘belle’ was spared nothing by her doting parents--she could purchase the latest fashions, then quickly discard them for a new ensemble. She lived in a sheltered world, punctuated by frequent balls and daily rounds of social calls to other fashionable women in the neighborhood. 

…Marriage relations among the southern planter class were in many ways an exaggerated version of those among the northeastern middle class. While virginity before marriage was expected for northeastern women, southern planter society placed an absolute premium on the bride’s ‘purity’. Northeastern women were placed on a platform and praised for their selflessness and moral rectitude. Plantation women were put upon a gilded pedestal, and southern writers extolled the refinement, piety, and grace by which these women surpassed all others. The result was a tightly constrained life that offered southern women few opportunities to move beyond the boundaries their society had established for them.”

Michael Goldberg, “Reasons of the Heart: Marriage and Courtship.” in Breaking New Ground: American Women, 1800-1848

[golvio]

Turns out Elon was fearmongering about Adderall being this evil drug that gives you roid rage not because he’s ever taken it himself, but because he repeatedly threw out his first wife’s ADHD medication and she got mad at him when she found out!

Adderall is a controlled substance in the US. Do you know how difficult it is to get an early refill on a prescription? Even if you’ve got hard evidence the original bottle was stolen from you, you’re still likely to not only not get your refill but also get red-flagged for “drug-seeking behavior” and denied access to the medication you need to executively function!

I am absolutely incandescent on that woman’s behalf! I’m not even married to the guy and I want a divorce! I deserve alimony money for having to live under that petty tyrant boy-emperor! I’m embarrassed to share a diagnosis with him because he reinforces all the worst stereotypes about us because his parents never socialized him properly, as their whole dysfunctional family is permanently isolated in Rich Person No-Consequence La-La Land! Even at my most interpersonally clueless in childhood, I understood that there are rules! You don’t throw out another person’s ANYTHING without their explicit permission, because if you guess wrong they’ll get mad at you and you’ll deserve it!

I know it’s stupid to expect rich people to follow the same rules as the rest of us, given that they’re totally insulated from the consequences of their own actions unless they bruise the fragile ego of another billionaire. It still pisses me off!

[alpharedspark]

I am... Still thinking about Sterek cheating on their spouses with each other...

Someone once posted on Sterektwt about it and I wrote a little ✨ something something ✨ then and I really really really can't take the images off my head... So here comes more...

Warnings: cheating (duh), and a very happy ending because I apparently can't make anything that's not sappy af

Like, a double vacation trip that becomes a Where Can We Fuck Without Being Discovered tournament... At night, Stiles husband thinks he's already open up and lubed, but it's Derek's come that he's fucking back into his husband...

Derek can never talk about their sex life with Stiles' husband because whenever the other guy talks about Stiles body he growls and has to keep himself from jumping on the guy's throat... Stiles' husband thinks it's because Derek's extremely straight...

Derek's wife always talks about how their marriage lacks passion, lacks romance and desire... Meanwhile Stiles can only pretend to be sympathetic and think about how Derek makes love to him all night, knots him until he's crying from pleasure and makes sure he knows he's the loveliest thing in the world...

When Derek's wife starts talking about having children, Derek has to get away and look for Stiles because he can only imagine himself raising a child with him... He can only think about having Stiles round with children and, this time, when he knots Stiles he's telling him how beautiful he'd look with a kid in his arms, how good of a father he would be, how Derek would give anything in the world for him...

They fuck in their marital beds any time they can, in the showers, on the pool, anywhere and everywhere they can get away with. They almost get caught a lot of times, but it seems to always fuel them on, the looks of surprise and anger that their encounters would arouse. The employees from their respective houses know, and cover up for them every time.

During Stiles' honeymoon, the husband thought he was going to be Stiles' first and only, not knowing Derek took all of Stiles' firsts years before. He doesn't know that Stiles didn't have one single orgasm during the trip until he was back into Derek's arms and getting fucked against the wall just like their first time together...

When they're finally found out, Stiles has had two kids, all Derek's. When Stiles' husband tries to take them in the divorce, they take a DNA test and, even if by some miracle they weren't Derek's, he was such a better father that the kids prefer him anyway.

Derek's wife tries to take half of his everything, but all of Derek's assets are on Stiles' name anyways, have been for years. Stiles managed them, grew them for their family, while his husband insisted that he stay at home and do nothing with his hard-earned degree. The wife is left with nothing, no kids, no money, only a meager alimony that barely covers her beauty expenses.

The affair is scandalous, at first. They were both from good, respected families, just expected to follow the path society set for them. The raised eyebrows and side-eyes last about two months before everyone can see they're so much more happier, their household flourishing with kids and a couple that grows together.

After some five years or so, nobody thinks they were quite wrong for finding each other. "Soulmates", they call them. Destined to fall in love and grow old together, to show everyone that love can be found even in the hardest circumstances. Nevermind the circumstances were two marriages they were bound to.