#+ I was starting to get nervous making long drives (like from my apt to my parents house)

[sochilll]

I got a new car and it has a little shelf by the rear window which my old car didn’t. It’s plushie time :3

[butlervol6]

the baby talk | dad(to be) austin x reader

previous part here!!

pairing: austin x fem!reader

summary: reader finally feels ready to have a baby with austin….but worries the timing might not work out

warnings/notes: some angst? (reader overthinking, s/o all my fellow anxiety babies), a tiny tiny bit suggestive at the end. so sorry this took so long, the last month has been eventful to say the least and i’m just getting time to finish this. thank you SO SO much for over 900(!!!WHAT) notes on my first work and so many followers, i never expected so many people to enjoy my writing. i’m toying with the idea of attempting to write smut, lmk your thoughts (i would make it a separate pt so the under18 can still enjoy the rest of the series)!! thank you all again, send me requests/messages/questions i love talking to ya’ll, and ENJOY PART 2!!

words: 2.2k

On the drive home from Ashley’s you were buzzing from the excitement of meeting Jupiter as well as the anticipation of telling Austin that you felt ready to start trying for a baby. You knew he was going to be ecstatic, it was obvious that while he was always extremely supportive and understanding of your point of view the last time you spoke about it, there was a part of him that was initially disappointed when you expressed your decision to wait to have kids. He was good at masking it, not wanting to make you feel bad for a completely rational and understandable decision, but you knew him well enough to see past his facade and couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for being the one to put starting a family on hold. 

That disappointment for him and guilt from yourself didn’t last long though, as he landing his ‘Elvis�� role no more than six months after that conversation took place. Now, two years later, you could not have imagined trying to navigate a little one during the stress of the pandemic and a filming process like Elvis. Despite being very stable and annoyingly in love your entire relationship, never once considering separating, being newlyweds was still incredible stressful during that time so you knew you both shared a mutual, unspoken feeling of relief for the decision you made.

Looking over at your husband as he drove, you start to try and come up with a way to approach the conversation when you got home, wanting to make it as special as possible. Usually you pride yourself on your creativity as well as your apt for being excellent at surprises, but in this moment there was not a single idea in your head. You were completely perplexed, and growing increasingly frustrated, at your inability to come up with a suitable way to start the conversation. This must have been evident on your face as Austin glanced over and caught you looking his way, a small frown on your face and eyebrows pulled together in deep thought,

“Baby?” You, so consumed by your spiralling thinking, don’t notice when first he addresses you,  “Y/N?” He places a hand on yours resting on the center console, rubbing his thumb along your knuckles to gently bring your focus back to reality, “What’s going on in your head darlin’? You’ve been so quiet this whole drive–makin’ me nervous.” He drawls, attention shifting between the road and you, waiting for your answer. You try to quickly recover, as to not tip him off about the impending conversation,

“Sorry baby, I’m alright. I think the adrenaline and excitement from the day is finally wearing off so I’m a little tired.” Austin eyes you, not quite convinced but decides not to push it any further. You can see this fact evident on his face so you smoothly change the subject so he doesn’t have room to figure out the real reason you’re acting weird, “What about you? Did you have a good day Uncle Austin? Was it everything you dreamed it would be?” Being reminded of his picture perfect day, surrounded by his favourite girls, immediately distracts him from your odd behaviour,

“It was everything I imagined and more. Jupiter is just perfect–I can’t believe she’s real, and finally seeing Ashley again after so long was perfect, and you being there with me to share it all was-“

“Perfect?” You find his excited rambling extremely sweet but you can’t help but tease him. He bites his bottom lip smiling, slightly embarrassed by his own words. You lean over, grabbing the far side of his face to press a quick kiss against the corner of his mouth before speaking again, “I’m not trying to embarrass you, love. I’m just teasing you, I loved seeing you so happy today.” You absentmindedly smooth your thumb back and forth along his cheekbone as you speak. The loving gesture and kind words make him smile, ducking his head down slightly to press a kiss to the inside of your wrist that hovers near his mouth,

“I was so happy. I am so happy, y/n. Everything just seems to be working out lately—my career, my family and friends, you. I just can’t believe it all.” You can feel your cheeks start to hurt from how large your smile is. After experiencing firsthand the type of stress Austin had been under the last two years; completely immersing himself in his role, being away from all of his family and friends, the pandemic, you were overjoyed that he was finally feeling the beginnings of the pay off of it all. And you knew this would only increase as the press for the movie and the fan reaction began. 

It was at this thought that your happiness and excitement momentarily faltered. Since your realization at Ashley’s, you had failed to fully considered how much was going to change after Elvis came out. From watching the transformation your husband made, you knew that people were finally going to take notice of him and, as a result, his popularity was going to sky-rocket. There wasn’t a cell in your body that didn’t want that for Austin, he deserves to finally be recognize as the incredible actor and person that he is, but you did start to worry that having a baby in the mids of it all these new changes could be just as bad as having one in the middle of filming. To quell your small disappointment and spike in anxiety, you lean your head on Austin’s shoulder as he turns onto the last road to get to your house. 

It’s obvious now that something more is wrong than what you originally let on so Austin presses a kiss to your hairline and mumbles, “You wanna get some food and talk about it when we get home?” You sigh, nodding and snuggling into his arm for the remainder of the ride. 

                                                           … 

      After taking the remnants of your takeout to the kitchen, you make you way back to the couch where Austin is sitting, arms outstretched along the back and his head leaned back. The credits of the show you were watching play on the tv so you pick up the remote and pause it before sitting down against him, tucking your legs up and leaning your head on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around you, kissing the top of your head,

“What’s goin’ on in your head, pretty girl?” You lift your head up and slightly turn your body in his grasp to look at him fully, he smooths his palm up and down your arm as he speaks. The weight and warmth of his hand against your bare skin grounds you as your open your mouth to speak,

“I was- I guess I just-” You pause for a moment, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath to get your thoughts together, “I had a thought earlier today, about us, and built it all up in my head before I really considered it. I’ll be alright, I’m just a little annoyed at myself for getting carried away. And, honestly, I’m kinda sad about it too.” Austin watches your face as you speak, brows slightly furrowed as he takes in your words. You know you were vague and he is probably more than a little confused, but you can’t bring yourself to say exactly what you were thinking, tears already threatening behind your eyes.

“Oh baby, I’m sorry you’re upset. Do you think you could explain your thought to me? Maybe there’s somethin’ you didn’t think of that I can do to help.” As you gaze into his eyes, your heart swells with love for the man in front of you. You are so grateful to have him as partner in life, always so kind and attentive to your needs. You look down to your lap for a moment, clearing your throat and parting your lips to unleash the uncensored truth but the words stay lodged in your throat. Emotion starts to swell within you, hot tears pricking the corners of your eyes, and you look to Austin. He gently brushes your cheek with the back of his fingers, “It’s okay, you can tell me anything.” A tear slips from your eye at his reassurance and you quickly wipe it away,

“I wanted to have a baby.” The second the words leave your mouth you can feel Austin tense beside you. Terrified that he is going to get upset you quickly continue, “Don’t worry, I know that we can’t and I promise I’ll get over it I just need some time an-” Austin silences you by leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours. You melt into the kiss after a moment of surprise, focusing on the warmth of his mouth against yours and the hand that now rests under your chin. He pulls away slowly, as if moving too fast could scare you away,

“You really wanna to have a baby with me? Oh my god y/n, that’s amazing! When did you change your mind?” He scoots closer to you on the couch and runs his fingers through your hair. His eyes are bright, excited, and that flares your upset once again—he’s not listening. You furrow your eyebrows and you gently push his hand from your hair. 

“Austin, we can’t. I just told you that’s why I’m upset.” Austin tries to interrupt but you stop him, wiping at your wet, blotchy cheeks, “You were absolutely perfect with Jupiter and I could see how ready you are, and that made me ready. But, everyone is finally going to see how incredible you are when this movie comes out and I want you to have your moment in the spotlight. This has been your dream your entire career, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I put that in jeopardy by being selfish.”     

“Y/n, you and our family are my dream. There will never be a ‘perfect’ time to have a baby, all that matters is whether or not we both want it. And it’s not ‘selfish’ to want it.” Austin grasps your chin, turning your face and making you look him in the eyes. “Do you wanna have a baby with me?” You plead with your eyes and stutter to answer,

“Aus, it’s not that simple. I-“ He presses a finger to your lips, silencing you, and softly laughs,

“Hey, none of that. Just answer the question.” You sigh in defeat and pull his hand away from your mouth and into your lap before responding,

“Yes, I want to have a baby with you.” Because you do, there is nothing you want more than to grow the love between him and you by bringing a baby into the world.

“And I want to have a baby with you. So let’s do it. If we both want it then we'll make it work. ” You gaze into the eyes of the man you love as he speaks and all you see is unfiltered love and excitement. It’s in this moment that you believe what he says, because you can see how much he believes it himself. If you love each other and you both want to start this journey together, then everything else can be dealt with as it comes. At this realization, you finally allow yourself feel the excitement you experienced earlier in the day, a large smile spreading across your face. 

“You promise that it’s really what you want? I don’t want you to agree just because I’m upset.” Austin tilts his head back and laughs, a deep rumbling in his chest. You nudge him in the ribs, causing him to let out an ‘hey!’, and can’t help but laugh along with him, “Don’t laugh, I’m serious! What’s so funny anyway?”

“Y/n, you’re kidding right?” He leans in, suddenly serious and slings his arms around you again, speaking lowly, “I think I’ve made it pretty obvious how much I would love to get you pregnant, baby.” He trails kisses along the side of your jaw and down your neck, your eyes fluttering closed and lips softly parting. After a moment of getting lost in each other, Austin pulls back–a smug smirk on his face to look at you. With your eyes still closed you say,

“Okay, let’s do it.” Before you can even process what’s happen, you’re being lifted into the air and your eyes fly open meet Austin’s gaze. You wrap your arms around him as he carries you toward the stairs, a glint in his bright blue eyes, “Um—where are we going?”

“To get started.” He reaches the top of the stairs, looking down at you in his arms, “If we don’t get a baby in you right now, how am I gonna have a hot wife with a cute little baby bump as my date to the Met Gala?” You’re momentarily shocked at his words, and you can tell by the devilish look on his face that while he’s joking, he also isn’t. You shake your head, a smile on your lips, as he pushes the door to your bedroom open.

All you get out is, “can’t argue with that”, before you squeal as he tosses you onto the bed.

next part here!!

[jeonjeonggukenergy]

Anti-Hero

summary ~ in search of wine at a party that’s so not your scene, you run into jungkook, the weeb from your film class, and become determined to learn just how much he lives up to his big reputation.

pairing ~ jungkook x reader

genre ~ fluff, smut - college!au

wordcount ~ 8.5k

warnings ~ 18+ only! smut, explicit discussion of kinks/sexual preferences (yay healthy communication), dom/sub undertones during both discussion and sex (dom Jungkook, sub reader), mentions of daddy kink and degradation but both are a no, marking, biting, hair pulling, spanking, they both have a srs pain kink lmao, brief oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, creampie

a/n ~ SO excited to finally have this chapter out for yall! it’s a huge one and i’ve been working on it for quite a while, this includes the first full smut scene for this fic and i would love to know how yall like it or any other feedback. i really enjoyed writing the character development in this chapter too! they’re so cute and whipped for each other already hhhhhh. thank you so much for loving this story so far, i’m really looking forward to writing the rest. hope you enjoy! ❣️

previous: chapter 1 | chapter 2 ~ next: chapter 4 (coming soon!) 

~ read on ao3 ~

CHAPTER 3 ~ particular, perfect

You concluded your walk home by ditching your shoes at the door, swinging your bag off your shoulders to the floor, and plopping down onto the couch immediately. Pulling all three nearby blankets over yourself, you realized you still weren't quite comfortable. You looked around for a second, puzzled, until an absentminded clutch of your boobs reminded you why. Triumphantly, you reached into a sleeve to untangle your bra and chucked it across the room with a deep stretch of relief. Okay, time to overthink again.

Jungkook? What the fuck?

Wait. A bag of chips on the kitchen counter caught your eye before you could descend any further into panic. The perfect emotional crutch. You clutched it to your chest like a safeguard against your own internal monologue, anxiously shoving handful after handful into your mouth. After about thirty minutes spent motionless on the couch with one hand shoved in the chip bag and the other distractedly scrolling through Twitter, your eyes suddenly widened and your hand froze, dropping your next bite of chips back into the bag. Fuck. You had just eaten nearly an entire family-size bag of chips before what could end up being your first fuck in over a year. Well, maybe this was part of why you hadn't gotten fucked in over a year. No, don't go there. You shoved down your own insecurity, knowing you'd just been too busy for a relationship and honestly, probably still were. But that wasn't going to stop you today.

You shook the chip dust off of your hands and got up to head to the shower, turning up your trashiest throwback playlist of getting-ready bops and resolving to at least shave your legs. Going in with no expectations was probably the best strategy here, but it never hurt to be prepared.

~

Having cleaned his apartment in record time, Jungkook was now at the gym. After triple-checking that his roommate Jin would be in rehearsal until 10pm at the earliest, he quickly scanned all the common spaces and his bedroom and realized he didn't actually have that much work to do besides politely closing the door to Jin's still-decent-but-somewhat-messier room. To be honest, Jungkook had mainly bought himself the time after class so he could shave just in case. But then he figured if he had to shower, he might as well hit the gym first. So here he was, burning off an unprecedented amount of nervous energy. Settling comfortably into the leg curl machine, he turned his music up and started on a low weight to put in reps until his thighs burned and his head felt pleasantly empty.

After completing his normal leg day rotation and dutifully stretching, Jungkook prepared to head home. He walked out of the gym feeling more energized and centered, barely even flinching when he switched his AirPods off to say bye to the nice girl at the front desk and the action accidentally blasted "Whistle" by Flo Rida from his phone speaker for the whole lobby to hear. As he walked back into his apartment, the kitchen clock let him know it was only 4:30. He had plenty of time. Jungkook hopped straight into the shower, shampooing his hair, shaving everywhere he normally did, and savoring several extra moments to relax his muscles under the hot stream of water. Finally, he toweled off to wrap up in the black t-shirt and cozy matching sweatpants he'd carefully stacked on the counter. Offhandedly singing to himself in the steamy mirror, he checked the time on his phone, deciding he might as well go ahead and text you before he got nervous again and did something stupid. Like chickening out completely.

hey its jk! im ready when u are :) my apt is 344 glencoe rd #1521 (yes its on the 15th floor sry D: )

His charming old-school smileys lit up your phone while you still had a leg perched on the bathtub's edge.

"Fuck!" you reacted. The hiss resounded, thanks to the too-good acoustics of your cramped bathroom. Your razor clattering to the floor, you paused your max-volume 2000s music to check the message, and then the time. Only 5! That wasn't dinnertime yet. Plugging his address into Google Maps, though, you realized it was a 15- to 20-minute drive from yours on the opposite end of campus. Even if you got ready at light-speed, you would get there closer to 5:30. Which was a bit more reasonable. He was being reasonable! You should be ready by now!

You leaned over to pick up your razor and cursed again as the water stream grazed the blouse you'd left on out of laziness. You'd showered this morning, so there was no need to repeat that with your shave, but now you'd have to change outfits completely. Feeling like an idiot, naked from the waist down but now all the way wet, you peeled the shirt over your head slowly to preserve your good hair day and glanced down at the dilemma you'd been facing. The patch of hair between your legs stared back at you like the final boss of stupid societal beauty standards. You'd only shaved down there once, as an anniversary present for your first boyfriend the summer before college, and it had been a fun, smooth novelty for about two hours and then itchy, red, gross-looking, and miserable for about three weeks. Also, it had kind of made you feel like a little girl, which creeped you out when you thought about why guys would prefer it. You'd been debating whether to try it again for the past fifteen minutes, because if there was ever a right time, this was probably it. But now you didn't have time, if you were going to be respectful and not keep Jungkook waiting. Well, this was the real you. He could take it or leave it.

Slathering a quick coat of lotion over your freshly shaved legs, you prepared to get dressed in a soft pastel sweatshirt and a flattering pair of workout shorts. Wait, should you wear lingerie? Was that too try-hard? You didn't really even need to wear underwear with these lined shorts, which could be a cool-girl move, you supposed. You settled on a cute white sports bra to go with the shorts, not wanting to deal with a real bra and hoping it still appealed to Jungkook's casual, athletic style. You checked yourself in the mirror briefly before grabbing your bag, confirming you looked chill enough but still felt like your best color-coordinated self. Heading out, you shoved a tin of chrysanthemum green tea in your water bottle pocket. Why not?

~

You whizzed over to Jungkook's apartment, yelling along to "Sex With Me" by Rihanna from your throwback playlist to hype you up in the car. When you knocked on his door after a nerve-wrackingly long elevator ride, Jungkook welcomed you with a "C'mon in!" amidst a mouthful of shrimp chips.

"It's not really dinnertime yet," (yeah, no kidding, you thought) "I went ahead and worked out but it's still kind of early, so I figured we could just have a snack and do the homework first."

"Sounds good," you affirmed. "I'm not really that hungry," (read: there's no way I can eat chips AGAIN right now, I'm going to bloat so badly) "but I brought tea so I can go ahead and make that if you want some too!"

"Oh cool, thanks!" Jungkook accepted. "Are you sure you're not hungry though?"

You almost gave into his sweet pout, but managed to convince him, and soon you both sat at the table with laptops open and twin cups of tea. You had a blast working together for the first time, acting out your "conversation" for the discussion board and pretending to respond spontaneously to each other's points like you hadn't already excitedly rambled back and forth through them in real life. You hit "send" five minutes apart, your idea to not seem too suspicious, and kept raving over Rear Window in between. As the sun lowered outside his living room window, you moved on to making the ramen.

After three offers to help Jungkook, all of which he denied, you simply made another steep of the tea, leaving a mug on the counter for him. Standing at the bar counter sipping yours, you enjoyed all the tiny, cute noises he made while chopping green onions and sprinkling extra garlic in the seasoning, like an anime character who came with his own sound effects. You could tell he made these recipe additions every time, because bulk quantities of the same simple ingredients lined the counters of his cozy kitchen. When he beat two eggs and dropped them into the pot, though, he couldn't seem to find a lid, and eventually settled on trapping the steam with a plate. You both waited on the egg for a silent moment, your foot bouncing under the bar while Jungkook restlessly acquired a slight wiggle. As he took a sip of his tea, a strand of hair fell over his eyes, and he yeeted it out of his face. Your inner language nerd cringed, but there really was no more apt word to describe the action.

You offhandedly said you liked his hair long, and he replied with a smile, "Maybe I'll have to keep it then."

"Do you like it too?" you wondered.

"Honestly no, it's kind of inconvenient."

"Oh, then why would you keep it?" you immediately asked back.

"Well..." he dragged out. "You like it? Maybe I should keep it if it looks better this way."

Your eyes crinkled appreciatively at his thoughtfulness, but then you backtracked. "Wait, no, it's okay! If you don't like it, don't feel like you have to keep it just because of something I said. You can do whatever you want."

"Hm, yeah." A demure smile tugged up the corner of his mouth as he lifted the plate from the ramen pot.

You watched him drag a chopstick through the floating, now-cooked egg to tear it into ribbons, then divide the noodles between two generously-sized bowls. He carefully wiped down the drips of broth from each bowl before sprinkling in his fresh toppings, then walked with you to the table.

Serving you with a pleased smile and a slight nod, he announced, "Dinner!"

"Wow," you mused playfully. "So gourmet."

"I'm really particular about my ramen," he admitted. "I have it down to a perfect routine at this point."

You took your first slurp of his particular, perfect ramen. "Well, it's really good. I'm impressed. And thanks for making me dinner, you didn't have to do all that."

"Oh, come on, it's instant ramen," he laughed. "Nothing special. And you brought the tea, so thanks. And thanks for coming over. And doing the homework with me. And...yeah." Rambling again. Why did he seem so...nervous? You were nervous. He couldn't be nervous. What reason did he have to be? But the twitch of his mouth under his wide eyes, his slightly reddened ears, his hand skittering over his neck—fuck—to ruffle his hair...every action turned another page of his open book. It felt infuriatingly unfair that genetics had assigned someone so sweet and shy and unsure of himself to that fucking body.

While you both ate and talked, you kept catching glimpses of any small flashes of skin you could find, as his long sleeves fell to expose his forearms and the wide neckline of his boxy black shirt gaped around his collarbones. What was wrong with you? Even if this did eventually turn into a dick appointment, the boy still had literally all of his clothes on. You tried to refocus on finishing your noodles, while your brain screamed at itself in shame that you could get this turned on by the sight of someone covered from neck to ankle.

Jungkook ate surprisingly slowly, probably because he kept pausing to excitedly explain his favorite things about the Cowboy Bebop episode you were about to watch together. You smiled into your tea through every out-of-context fun fact and "wait, sorry, that might have been a spoiler!"

Finally, he reached the bottom of his bowl and insisted on both taking your dishes to the sink and leaving them for him to clean later. "You sure you want to start on episode 2? Not 1?"

"Yeah, I remember well enough and your summary helped a lot too!"

"Okay, if you're positive!" he double-checked, grabbing the remote.

Gingerly lowering yourselves to the couch in sync, you avoided looking at each other as you both tried to calculate a comfortable distance between you. His hand looked ready to either hold yours or lower to your thigh, but he retracted at the last second, smoothing it over his own leg anxiously and still clearly itching to make a move. You shuffled closer to him until your thighs barely touched, and he shifted to slink an arm around you, letting your head rest on his well-muscled shoulder. After pressing “play”, he began wiggling slightly again, subconsciously grooving to the old-newspaper-style intro. Spike Spiegel appeared on the screen, his broad shoulders squared into a slouch as he listlessly watched TV. Jungkook kicked one leg over another and stretched his arms out symmetrically to echo the pose. Raising an eyebrow, he waited until you acknowledged him with a faux grimace and a hand to your ear, imitating the old man in a lab who’d just called up Spike for a new mission. You both burst into laughter and settled back into your former arrangement, Jungkook holding you imperceptibly tighter. Though you tried to stay staring straight ahead, wanting to genuinely appreciate the anime, you kept catching his doe eyes in the corner of your sight as you both giggled and gasped your way through the episode.

After avoiding eye contact too many times, you finally tilted your head for a cute sideways view of his face. He leaned toward you too, shyly closing the gap to touch his warm lips to your nose, then lower. You responded immediately, rolling your body with his so your chests met as he pulled you up into a full, deeper kiss. The longer you explored each other's mouths, the more Jungkook punctuated your movements with whimpers. He seemed hesitant to let his hands roam away from your face and neck, but his high, breathy moans made it clear that he was just as into this as you. Your hands had naturally found his taut waist, and at some point you started to bring them back up to his face too—but as your short nails grazed his chest, a particularly sensual, voice-cracking moan interrupted you. You drew back in slight surprise, blinking your eyes open to scan from his face to his body.

He followed your gaze, both slowly settling on the massive tent in his pants. You froze. Your breath grew heavier, confronted with evidence of his physical attraction to you, if nothing else. After regaining his composure, he laid a useless hand over his lap in a delicate attempt to distract you and brought his other hand up to tap your face lightly.

"Is this okay?"

His eyes glittered with equal parts hunger and concern.

"Yes!" you nodded, too quickly, too eagerly. "Yes, this is totally okay. Sorry if I'm being weird, I just...it's been a while." You cringed internally at your own words, but couldn't seem to avoid putting your foot further in your mouth. "I haven't really, like, hooked up like this before—like, I've had sex, but never really outside of a relationship. But don't worry, I get this is more your thing, and I'm totally down if you are. I just don't really know what I'm doing, and you clearly do."

Jungkook blinked at your admission, then his face twisted into something curious, inscrutable. Would he decide you weren't worth the potential for drama? His lips flattened out to a tight line, then pursed to speak, and you looked down at your lap, hoping he wasn't as embarrassed of you as you now were of yourself.

"Well, I've never had sex sober."

Your eyes flashed back up to his. A complex half-smirk offset the furrow in his brow as he exhaled in nervous relief. "So, I don't actually know what I'm doing here either."

You tried to delay your response as you processed the implications. "You mean..." You tilted your head for better eye contact, hoping to convey empathy but not pity while you silently contemplated how to proceed. "Never?"

"Yeah, I've always shown up to parties and the hookups just...happened. Nothing I didn't want, nothing bad like that, but always spontaneous. So I guess we're kind of meeting in the middle, because I've never really had to plan ahead for a situation like this and, uh, figure out what I want. Beyond, yknow, wanting to get laid in the moment, of course." Jungkook laughed off the end of his explanation, but the smile never quite hit his eyes.

"Well, okay, let's pause right there." You sighed. Something in his words didn't sit right with you. "What do you want? I want you to be sure about this, of course, but more than that, even—what do you like?"

"I..." he chuckled, sheepish, shaking his hair over his face again. "What, you want me to just tell you? Like, what I'm into?"

"Yeah," you shrugged, trying to project more confidence than you felt in hopes of encouraging him to keep opening up. "I want you to be able to communicate, I want you to be comfortable. And I want to know what you like, so I can make it as good for you as possible."

With your hands still laid flat on his chest, you felt his heart rate jump a tiny bit, and took the liberty of digging your nails in just slightly deeper. His breath caught him, and then he caught himself. "I don't know, I just want what you want."

Jungkook struggled to appear nonchalant as you rolled your eyes with an "Oh, come on," challenging his avoidance. Every instinct was telling him yes. He could hear his mind screaming at him to be intentional for once and let you take him, if not farther, then deeper than ever before. But he still hesitated, because being intentional in this case required him to be real. He had always been a fairly private person, but something about you made him feel so comfortable so fast that it counterintuitively made him more nervous. Of course Jungkook knew you weren't all innocent at this point, but the risk remained that you wouldn't really be down for everything he secretly wanted to explore. Even worse, though he didn't truly think you would, you could easily turn around and spin anything he revealed into yet another graphic rumor. Especially since you had no skin in the game yourself. He glanced down at your fingers, tensed into his chest, and narrowed his eyes.

"Why don't you tell me what you like first? And then I can tell you where we overlap," he grinned competitively. Your eyes widened as he tossed the challenge back your way. Not backing down, you flattened your hands and steeled yourself to settle the stakes.

"Fine—but only if you promise not to just go along with whatever I say. I'll let you know anything that's a hard no for me, but otherwise I want to hear at least one thing that's not on my list. I really do want what you want, that's how I am too, okay? So..." you paused to slide your fingertips over his collar and drag it down with a light scratch, now directly on his skin. You smiled with your eyes, enjoying the way he naturally responded with a hitch of his breath again. "Surely you can think of something specific."

He nodded quickly, before he could convince himself to back out. "Yeah. Promise."

"Okay," you confirmed, slightly nervous but determined to go through with this, for Jungkook's sake if anything. Seeing his body come alive with each new twist of the situation was building your curiosity, not to mention turning you on beyond belief. You could barely stand the warmth of his skin under your hands, so you drew them back to fold in your lap as you began. "So. Uh. To start. I've never really laid it all out like this either. I really like neck kisses? Like, a lot." Equally unused to this kind of directness, you wrung your hands together nervously, but sucked up the boldness to keep elaborating. "That's definitely, like, a big thing that turns me on...and then getting marked up and everything is really hot to me too. Like you can honestly go really rough with me on that, bite me even. I don't know if this is weird but even though it's annoying to cover up, I love taking off the makeup at the end of the day and seeing all the bruises on myself. Knowing I was walking around all day with that as my little secret." You swallowed shyly before continuing, but Jungkook interrupted the brief silence immediately with a hushed "Fuck."

You turned to face him fully and he didn't even move to meet your stare, eyeing the space above your sweatshirt's wide neckline like he was ready to devour you. Emboldened, your smile grew.

"So...yeah. I like being bitten, marked up. Mostly, uh," you rubbed a slightly trembling hand over your shoulder, "I'm just really into pain in general. Obviously not the bad 'I'm too dry and you're jackhammering me' kind of pain, or like, anal. Anal is a hard no. But things like biting, or hair pulling, or overstimulation. Or, like—I don't really know how to explain this, but...getting held too hard? That deep pain like when you get a massage when you're sore and it hurts but it's good, yknow?"

Jungkook looked like he was about to vibrate out of his skin, breathing shallow and rapid. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, just in time for you to whisper in conclusion:

"I love that feeling."

You suddenly looked away, reticent. A thick silence swelled between you, until he composed himself enough to punctuate it. "Okay. Yeah. Pain. So like, BDSM?"

"I mean, kind of? Sure? I don't have much experience with that and I don't really need the whole power dynamic aspect; I just like the, uh, physical pain. I wouldn't be opposed to trying further, but one thing I do know is I really don't like being degraded. And I'm not into the whole daddy kink thing either. I'm just not gonna call you that, sorry," you laughed, and fortunately he giggled too. "But I know that's not, like, necessary to the rest of BDSM, and the part about giving up control is still...interesting, for sure."

"Wait," Jungkook cocked his head, making a mental note of your last sentence before he went back to the previous one. "What do you mean, being degraded?"

You half-chuckled, half-cringed, never having needed to explain something like this, especially to a guy you hopefully were about to fuck. Cheers to better communication, you supposed.

"You know, how some people when they do dirty talk are like 'yeah, you little slut, you're such a whore.' I don't like being called any of that. Like it's fine that other people like it, there's nothing wrong with that, it's just really uncomfortable for me."

His brows knit together as you explained, and he shook his head so fast it almost looked cartoonish, like a little kid refusing vegetables. "Yeah, no. Don't worry, not really my thing either."

You sighed in relief. "That's nice. I feel like it's, like, weirdly common with guys. Maybe just the kind of thing people learn from porn."

"But you still like it rough, huh? Did you learn that...from porn?" he half-joked, trying to overcome both his shyness and his gritted-teeth arousal.

"No, I don’t like porn. Most of it’s really unethical. I learned from experience," you sassed back. "I don't have a whole lot, but enough to know what I like."

"Well. Hm." He worked his tongue over his teeth, poking one cheek out over his tensed jaw. You couldn't get enough of watching him grow fascinated by your every revelation, and you were preparing to keep pressing further when he beat you to it, posing a question. "Is there anything you haven't tried before, but really want to?"

Your face heated up instantly, tasting your own medicine. You looked back to your hands, breaking his intense eye contact to give yourself the courage to be even more uncomfortably honest. "I...I...um." Your first attempt at disclosing your fantasy came out as a squeak. Swallowing, you set your shoulders and tried again, selfishly reminding yourself Jungkook seemed so eager to please that this was 99% likely to get you exactly what you wanted. "I've always been, uh, really into the idea of, um, getting spanked. I've been, uh, too nervous to ever bring it up, before now obviously, but it's definitely one of the biggest kinks I've always wanted to try. Maybe being tied up too, I think I'd like it if I tried but I haven't thought about that as much. But, yeah...spanking, definitely."

"Fuuuuuuuuck."

A lengthened version of Jungkook's earlier under-breath exclamation made you peer up at him. Your thighs already pressed together from the tension of admitting something totally new, you found yourself needing even more friction just from the sight of Jungkook with his head thrown back on the couch, a veiny hand threaded in his hair to pull the long waves back from his forehead. The full reveal of his sharp eyebrows brought a whole new level of intensity to Jungkook's already beautifully carved features. He glanced over at you, then squeezed his eyes shut with a terse exhale. You couldn't place why, but you felt a deep attraction to the way he expertly restrained himself from acting on the lust written over his face—not under your control, but his own.

"Oh, fuck. What the fuck. How the fuck would you fucking know," he swore more in a single burst than he cumulatively had ever in your presence.

"What?" you toyed, heart rate still high but relaxed enough to enjoy agitating him. "Something ring a bell?"

Jungkook shuddered out a long breath, hand ruffling his hair as his other forearm still tried desperately to subdue his boner.

"Everything," he hissed, more willing to elaborate now that you had done the same, and especially now that he could tell you really did enjoy him being more assertive. "Shit. I...I want...I know you said not to just say this but I really do want everything you want. I can't wait to mark you up. I can't wait to hold you down and bruise your neck. I want it all, I want to make you hurt so good. And then—" Breathless. He looked almost embarrassed. "Then you had to go and somehow guess basically my biggest fucking kink, I can't fucking believe you." Both hands had come up to seize his long locks as he held himself back physically, while finally letting his guard down mentally to declare everything he intended to do to you. Letting out a short laugh, he finally met your eyes. "I wanna spank your ass bright red. Fuck. This is crazy. You're perfect."

Your core throbbed at every bold word. Leaning in close to him, you let your lips approach Jungkook's beautifully sculpted jawline as he panted, his chin tossed up to fully expose his neck. You stopped just short of his skin, in awe of how much you'd been able to work him up and still so tempted to take it to the next level. "Fuck," you echoed. "This is so hot," you murmured almost to yourself. Your eyes closing along with his, you dealt the final blow. "I love that we have so much in common. But come on, you promised. One thing that's not on my list."

Jungkook whined. You could tell he needed to touch you so badly, and no one was stopping him but himself. He had no way of knowing that if he cut the whole discussion and just took you, you wouldn't even try to resist at this point. Staring at his trembling mouth from below, you quickly averted your eyes when he opened his, pretending you hadn't been looking. He inhaled a short hiss, and then spoke.

"Okay..." He paused after just the first word, blowing air through the tiny "o" of his mouth as his eyes bugged slightly from nervousness. He couldn't resist a challenge, though, and his urge to please you overwhelmed his reluctance to peel back one more layer. "So, the pain thing. I think we, uh, feel the same about me giving and you receiving. But...I'm really into it for myself too. I don't know if you'd be comfortable with it, I know you maybe want me to be more dominant and I think I like that more too in general, but you can be as rough with me as you want back. I'd love that." Eyes still open but fluttering, Jungkook's tone grew breathier, heady as he confessed. You almost giggled at how bashfully he worded his desire to dominate you, to rough each other up, but the contrast was so hot you couldn't help sucking your bottom lip between your teeth, eager for him to continue. His voice lowered. "I love being scratched, marked, bitten...hit me, push me back, any kind of pain or any way you can hurt me, I want it." He shivered, but his voice firmed up even further. "I want it so bad."

You fought to stay motionless beside him, unable to even process how much more his honesty had turned you on. You felt helpless in your desire for him, your craving to give him everything he wanted and more. He noticed your charged stillness and shifted toward you, removing a hand from his hair to finally reach for your face. Threading his fingers through your hair instinctively like he had with his own, he tilted your head back to access your neck. Jungkook finally felt confident enough to tease you back as he skimmed his lips over your pulse point, tugging your skin between his teeth for a gentle first taste and grinning when you moaned. Seeing someone so satisfied, for reasons better than just his body or their pride, brought the most incredible rush of blood to his head. And his other head.

"And I get why you want it too," he finished with a whisper in your ear. "So trust me when I say I really, really want to give it to you."

In an instant, your hands yanked his hair down to bring his face up to yours, mouths crashing together. Feverish, restless, you kissed him, hastily attempting to straddle his thick thighs before he threw his body over yours and pinned you to the back of the couch. His hands wandered, intrepid, from your waist to a quick squeeze of your breasts before he spiraled you into his strong arms. Pressing your chest flush with his as your mouths meshed, he ground his hips into you shamelessly, enjoying the way you struggled beneath him to align your core with his rock-hard dick.

"Your room?" You rushed out the words.

Jungkook laughed a little, his tone half whine and half dare. "So we're done talking?"

"Come on," you pleaded back. He finally relented, pulling you up with him and dragging you across the living room and through his door, lips not leaving yours for a second. You backed him into the bed with your arms against his strong chest, and once he was sitting perched on the edge, you laid yourself horizontally over his thighs.

"What are you doing?" he murmured, curling a hand over the dip of your waist to hold you gently.

You angled your head back to make unsteady eye contact with him, flipping your shorts down boldly. His free hand automatically reached to slowly conform to the shape of your ass, so eager to touch you but tentative as he grazed your curves.

"Giving you exactly what you want."

"Fuck. Really? You're sure about this?" Jungkook held careful eye contact as you brought your arms back up, crossing your wrists over your head delicately. You nodded slightly and did your best to meet his gaze with confident invitation, convincing him how much you trusted and wanted him.

He smoothed his warm hand over your ass one more time, then brought it up and watched your thighs tighten at the loss of his touch. Breathing in, still a little shakily, he brought his hand down on your right cheek with a loud but mild smack. A grunt of satisfaction involuntarily left him when he saw your face flinch down into the sheets, subduing a small noise of surprise. He returned his hand to caress the light redness he'd left, checking in with you again. "Is this okay? Let me know if I should stop."

You replied with your face still tucked between your arms, muffled by the bed. "More than okay. Please don't stop."

He spanked you again, moving to your left cheek. This time you felt his dick twitch under you and couldn't help grinding down on him a little bit. "Is that as hard as you can go?" you taunted in low tones, brave enough to egg him on but not quite enough to meet his eyes again.

Jungkook's thighs and core tensed under you, and he squeezed his fingertips tighter, digging into the skin of your ass. "Not at all," he said simply.

Deep breath. A few seconds passed, and his hand came down, harshly. You cried out in shock, the timing unexpected and the sting far sharper, and he gave your other cheek a fourth hard smack before you could even process the third one. "Harder?" he tested. "Tell me."

Another spank. "Mmmf."

"You like this, huh?"

"Yes, I told you," you whimpered back, half-teasing even though you were in no position to do so. Immediately, he cut you off with a stinging hit across both cheeks, and you moaned.

"You really do," he breathed lowly. "Fuck yeah. Take it then."

He spanked you again, and again, then paused, tugging down your shorts all the way to your ankles to expose the crease right above your thighs. Rubbing your already sore bottom, Jungkook cupped the underside of its curve in his big, firm hand. Already anticipating your whine, he drew back his touch and hummed in harmony with you. He continued landing satisfyingly hard smacks, alternating to cover your ass evenly. His dick strained through his pants more and more each time you trembled under his touch. Never hitting you hard enough to do serious damage, he still clearly enjoyed his thorough reddening of your ass, and occasionally took a moment just to caress your skin as it warmed from the spanking. The pain lit your senses up from head to toe. Face burning with deep arousal, you mentally thanked yourself for going out of your comfort zone and unprecedentedly admitting your kinks before even venturing into your first time together. Amidst the thrilling sting of his hand meeting your soft curves, Jungkook eventually noticed your thighs clenching together, craving friction but not really wanting relief from the pleasurable burn.

"You're wet," he marveled, sliding two warm fingers up and down your slit.

"Mhm," you mumbled back as you tilted your hips into his hand. He gave you a light slap right on the folds between your legs, eliciting another soft moan.

"So good for me," Jungkook said softly, pulling you up into his lap by your waist. "You look so pretty like this. I wanna see all of you." He tugged your sweatshirt over your head, followed by your sports bra, thankful that it stretched over your head easily. Suddenly grinning, he wound up and shot it across the room like a rubber band, and you smacked his arm, giggling.

"What was that? You cheeseball," you teased, and he blinked, chuckling lightly back. It occurred to him that he'd never laughed, or made someone laugh, during sex before.

"It was so stretchy! Don't make fun of me," he blushed.

"You're so cute," you said, fingers sliding under his t-shirt hem.

"Cute?" His eyebrows rose in mock disbelief, and he reached around to land another hit to your still-red asscheek.

"Hot," you amended. Raising his shirt and finally getting a full glimpse of his enviable abs, you groaned. "You're extremely hot, and also really cute, and it's kind of ridiculous and I don't really know how to handle all of it at once."

His face scrunching up into a smile at the praise, he fell back onto the bed with his arms behind his head. "You are too, you know. Really cute, of course. But really hot too." As you discarded his shirt and moved on to easing his sweatpants down his hips, you held in a gasp as his erection sprung up from the waistband. He was big, thick, and painfully hard, his tip glistening warm with precum and a lone vein running prominently up his smooth shaft. Although you wouldn't be corroborating them, you had to admit to yourself that all the rumors were true. You instinctively curled a hand around it, barely covering half his length, and he winced at your slightest touch. Pulling off with a single slow stroke, you slid his sweatpants and briefs all the way to the floor and then stood, looking up from his legs to his blown-out eyes to take in the glorious sight of his fully naked body.

"You shave," you said, surprised by the clean skin under his arms and between his legs.

"Yeah," he demurred, self-conscious for some reason. He lowered his arms to fold them over his torso, somehow defining his biceps even more. "I'm on the dance team, and it's nice to feel all smooth for practice and stuff. I don't know, I just like it."

"Oh, that's cool! No worries, I like it too. And you don't mind that..." You looked down at yourself, still just standing naked in front of him. "...I don't? Like, down there at least."

"No, you do you!" he said quickly. With a shy smile, he admitted, "I actually kind of like it on you. I do this for me, anyway, not for anyone else," he playfully noted. Slowly, he was sitting up to take hold of your waist and lower you down to the bed with him. Pausing to kiss the sweet spot under your jaw, he continued. "So don't feel like you have to do anything, or not do anything, either."

Jungkook couldn't quite explain the nature of how his attraction to you had developed. Seeing how open and honest you were with him made it easy for him to be honest with you too, and just to feel comfortable being himself. He admired the way he could still tell you sometimes got nervous like him, but it didn’t stop you from getting real or going bolder. Unable to fully express it in words, he just hoped to ensure you felt as comfortable and respected around him as he did around you. He already knew that he wanted this to be more than just a one-time thing, and while he still hesitated to assume that you felt the same, he intended to leave no doubt by the end of the night.

You moaned as he nipped at the skin of your neck. It was so easy to get swept back up in Jungkook. You could barely handle the friction of his dick rutting against your wet folds from below, craving him inside you. "Ughhh. Wait, one more thing. I'm on the pill, are you clean?"

"Yes," he gasped, barely removing his mouth from your jaw. "Are you?"

"Yeah, so we don't need a condom. If that's cool with you!"

"Yeah! But, you're ready?" He seemed surprised.

"Aren't you?" you whined, beyond holding back. He felt so unbearably hard that his coherence and willpower kind of surprised you too. "Please, I want you so bad."

To your surprise, he lowered his head to the crest of your legs, dotting wet kisses down your torso. Keeping his big brown eyes on you, he teased your entrance with a finger and echoed your immediate groan at the welcome stretch.

"You really are ready," he remarked, awed at the ease with which your wetness sucked the digit in. Frankly, you were in awe as well. It had taken your ex-boyfriend months to figure out how to get you this worked up. Jungkook either had even more experience than you'd heard from the grapevine, or he was a natural. Or maybe you were just really, ridiculously, primally attracted to him. He went on to curve his finger in you and lick a messy swipe up your folds, sucking hard once he reached your sensitive clit. You cried out at the delicious burst of stimulation and he rose up to catch your lips with his.

"I had to do that, just once," he grinned breathlessly. "But—"

"Let me suck you off," you interjected, unbelievably fucking turned on and dying to please him.

"No," he gasped with far more fervency than you'd think anyone could refuse a blowjob. "Please, I was about to say—" he choked out a high-pitched moan as you ran a single finger up his shaft in anticipation, sinking the nails of your other hand into his thigh. "—I think I'm gonna explode if I don't get inside you right this second."

So he did have a breaking point. "Fuck," you muttered, bringing your legs around his to tuck your heels under his tight ass as he lined up. He eased his tip in, keeping heavy eyes on you the whole time, and you could feel the hot, thick tension in his thighs as he struggled to hold himself back from just thrusting into your heat. Slowly, he drew closer into you until he bottomed out with a low moan. You whined at the perfect slight pain of the stretch, and Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, gripping you by your waist. Watching the veins in his forearms stand out as he drove almost all the way out and back into you, you rocked your hips carefully against his with each smooth stroke, getting used to his fullness. When his balls met your ass again, he shuddered a bit and opened his eyes into yours.

You answered his question before he could even ask it. "Jungkook—you feel so good. You can go faster, it's okay."

A smile hit his eyes before his mouth, and he kissed you once, pressing his chest to yours and intertwining your tongues eagerly. You bit his bottom lip as he slowly drew away, tugging it between your teeth to pull a sweet little whimper from his throat. Grinning, he leaned back in to touch his forehead to yours and simultaneously slid a subtle hand under your ass to curve your hips up with his. The slight leftover sensitivity of your skin amplified his light touch, and Jungkook seemed to realize this, curling his fingers to tease you with the tips of his nails. Instinctively, you ducked to bite his neck, not even registering your move to pass the pain back to him until he choked out a beautifully half-restrained moan and snapped his hips into yours. Gasping, you encouraged him to lose himself in you, dragging your lips up to latch around his earlobe. He hissed and thrust into you sharply again, meeting the time of your movements as you swirled your tongue between each of his hoop earrings. Soon he was pounding you rhythmically, finally letting you feel the full force of his strength but keeping remarkable control over both his body and yours. Both of you had gone silent except for your heavy breaths, lost in the moment, but the flexed shivers of his thighs and twitches of his fingers in your hair told you all you needed to know. Suddenly yanking your strands to pull you back from the additional bruise you'd sucked beneath his ear, he earned a new set of scratches on his back as your hands dragged down the muscular expanse in reply. Jungkook switched places with you to draw dark clouds from your skin, a storm brewing under your jaw. Your face fell into pure bliss, eyes shut and immersed in the barrage of sensation from his hands, mouth, and big dick filling you. Already feeling the familiar tension that preceded an orgasm building through your whole body, you chased him closer to his climax too, grinding back roughly into every thrust and raking your hands over every part of his firm body you could reach.

You had really been fooling yourself when you thought you could try something casual for once. You wanted more of Jungkook, all of Jungkook, nothing but Jungkook ever again. Knowing he'd never even gone back to the same hookup twice sank slight anxiety into your stomach, a kind of future nostalgia for this moment you already feared losing. You knew you weren't anything special compared to the catalogue of gorgeous girls he'd had his turn with, but a deviant voice whispered from the back of your mind that you could be, because it was clear none had bothered to learn him like this. You'd still try your desperate best not to want too much from him, but you resolved to do whatever you could to make him crave more.

Rolling your hips in a smooth circle against him, you clenched around his dick and your hands tightened their fierce hold on his tiny waist. You felt his abs tense within your grasp as he tried not to stutter into you.

"Fuck. No." His voice cracked, but held an undertone of ferocity. "You come first." Jungkook rushed a hand to your clit, adding pressure in small, deft motions with a fingertip as he kept fucking you deep. You sank your teeth into his shoulder in response, drawing your hands up his back to clutch him closer to you, and Jungkook cried out. You left your mouth on his golden skin to stifle your moans as he sped up his fingers, and he tried to let you stay there but eventually couldn't help pulling you off him to see your face. Eyes narrowed and eyebrows turning up sharp at the ends, he watched you like a hawk to track the exact moment when he pushed you over the edge. Your face crumpled and you felt your whole body burn under his gaze as you came, squeezing around him in waves of pleasure while he fucked you through your high, unrelenting. Drinking up the bliss obvious on your features, Jungkook's eyes never left yours and his expression grew more and more fucked out. You marveled at how even as you lost control and energy to fuck him back, your body freezing in orgasm seemed to turn him on further. One last pulse of the tension leaving your core made his dick throb inside you, and you impulsively broke your eye contact to lean in and bite down slow but hard on his neck again. He gasped.

"You're amazing." Murmuring into his skin, you kissed the bite marks gently. Jungkook whimpered at the sweet contradiction and lurched into your hips even harder. You recovered to move with him, squeezing him deeper into you every time he bottomed out, and as his breathless moans escalated in pitch, his whole body shivered with each stroke. Pressing wet, heavy kisses all over his neck, you felt his jaw flutter while his lips hung open. His considerable strength spent, Jungkook shuddered one last hard thrust into you and finally let go, coating your walls from within. His hips lightly rocked against yours as he stayed deep inside you, still hard and savoring the euphoric release he'd held back for so long. You felt so incredibly warm and comfortable around his sensitive dick, relaxed but still holding him tight, and he couldn't help holding you up for a languid kiss before pulling out of you smoothly.

He briefly looked into your eyes, and you saw stars. The sun had continued to set outside, and it peeked between the blinds of his window to wrap you both in a warm, slivered glow. Staring down at his hands on your body, Jungkook took a deep breath and collapsed to your side, holding you close. You settled into him, cupping a hand over his head on your chest. With your fingers laced through his sweaty hair, you stroked his temple with your thumb, worrying for a second whether the gesture seemed too intimate but forgetting your fear when he snuggled up into your touch. You felt the need to say something, to figure out what the fuck was next after this, but stayed silent, not wanting to disturb the comforting weight of his frame. Heartbeat still racing, Jungkook stretched out to breathe a long sigh. As he sank back into you, you stretched under him too, letting his solid, warm body drape over you like a blanket. This couldn't be farther from what you'd expected with him, but you weren't about to make it stop. Surely, eventually, he would.

A minute passed. And then five. And then, before either of you could talk yourselves out of it, you were asleep, intertwined.

[filipinoizukuu]

I have the notebook in hand now I beg you for explanation

HSBFNDSJNFVN my dearest snail oh jeez 😭 i have about maybe dozens of stories about accidentally being y/n, so i'm prayin and hopin none of my IRLs see this. Some details hidden for privacy.

LONG story ahed, so be warned.

-

So. End of winter to early spring about a year before COVID-19. I was still a little snot-nosed high schooler hanging out with my friends and generally being a nuisance upon society. For those of you that have never seen me in real life, the first thing you need to know was that I was adorable, female-presenting, and had the appearance of a goody-two-shoes star student down to a T.

Now, the second thing you need to know is about my friend group and how a majority of them were guys.

I'm not talking about like, darling boy-next-doors and fellow star-student nerds. I'm talking about teenage boys. GUYS guys. Rowdy and wrestling in the hallways, getting into fights, and pulling (harmless) pranks on each other kind of guys. The gross type because I love my friends but even I can admit they're kind of gross.

One day after school, we're hanging out in someone's truck on the way to a get-together. There are about four of us just chilling, me being the only girl. Someone's phone goes off and we look to see one of us pick up his phone.

Now, this friend, let's call him S.

S picks up the phone and starts talking to it. We hear bits and pieces of the conversation and he sounds a little nervous. He puts the phone down and looks at us with a weird expression and says he needs to get home.

"What gives, S?" we ask, slouching in our seats and drinking sweet tea, like all other self-respecting teenage hooligans. "Who was that?"

S explains to us very carefully that he just got off the phone with his auntie and that she wants to have a sit-down and dinner with him. We coo and make fun of him a little and acquiesce, driving on over to his place to drop him off and embarrass him in front of his parents as friends do. We tell him as much when S lights up and looks at us like he just got the world's best idea.

(Heads up! It was not.)

"Guys! I have a better idea."

The rest of us look at each other. "Which is...?"

"What if I pretend to have a girlfriend to impress my Aunt?"

Record scratch. Pause. I suddenly remember that I am the only pretty 'ole lady in this small and stuffy truck. In an instant, all eyes on the vehicle are on me.

No, hell no. I think to myself, there's no way I'm ever going to do this. This is how every fanfic starts and I am absolutely not emotionally available enough to do this. And you know what? That's exactly what I should've said.

Instead, what came out of my mouth was this:

"Buy me a tub of ice cream and I'm all yours."

And thus, the devil's deal was sealed.

Minutes later, we're exiting the truck and looking over at S's white picket fence and perfectly maintained garden. S goes with me and I suck it up, bracing myself for the performance of my lifetime. We do not hold hands and our other friend (E) walks behind us while dying of laughter. S opens the door and we are immediately greeted by the sight of his kind-looking Auntie welcoming him with open arms.

S waltzes in.

"Auntie... this is my girlfriend, Codi."

Now, a quick word about me and how I was in real life at the point of this story. I looked the part of an adorable overachieving student, and while my grades did match up, my attitude sure as hell didn't. I'm naturally a very loud and boisterous person. I 'get into fights' and curse just as well as the rest of them. I had a reputation in a few areas for having the knack of making my underclassmen cry. The point being, I wasn't a saint.

But I was a damn good actor.

"Hi Auntie!" I greet with the peppiest and highest voice I could manage. I skip towards her and shake her hand, smiling like a cracked-up cheerleader in a Coca-Cola ad from the '80s when they made it with actual cocaine. "Your nephew S is just about the sweetest thing ever. He's so nice and smart and I'm incredibly lucky to have him!" I lie through my teeth.

In the background, I can hear E on the verge of deranged cackling while S just stands there and coughs into his fist like an emotionally constipated tuberculosis patient.

My Limit of the Day has been reached, so I shoot Auntie S a quick grin when she enthusiastically thanks me for my services and then haul my ass out their door, E hot on my heels. We leave S behind to deal with whatever shitstorm came after and I tried my best to not look back.

The moment the old truck door slams shut behind us, E abso-fucking-lutely loses it, guts busting with how much he's laughing. We high-tail it to the get-together and I make him swear up and down to not mention it for the rest of the day. It's over, at this point, the thing's been done and there's no other damage than my sanity and maybe S's relationship with his aunt. At least, that is what I thought.

Hours later, S texts me.

hey so um. remember that thing earlier?

Odd question, because how could I not?

yeah so. my aunt stayed for dinner and my parents arrived early and they asked me about school so. long story short... my whole family thinks we're dating.

Predictably, I lose my mind. I ask myself how I got into this situation and then imagine the sweet, sweet ice cream waiting for me at the end of this ride. I'm like, okay! This isn't so bad! It's actually really funny if I think about it enough. At least it's contained, right? I say my famous last words. It's not like I'll ever actually meet his family again.

So I go to bed and decidedly Pass Go, Collect $200 on any fanfics or other friendly drama that night.

The next week, I walk into school. I'm going about my normal business when I bump into my friend group. They pounce on me like a hound of dogs, making rounds of congratulations with varying faces of amusement. "What?" I go, like an oblivious idiot.

From like 15 feet down the hall, a familiar figure turns the corner and I lock eyes with him. Something clicks into place and I realize that there were actual witnesses to S's convoluted brownie-points shenanigan that I didn't consider.

"E," I say. "you are so fucking dead."

My friend group, who E had apparently told about my whole schtick as S's Rent-a-Girlfriend, breaks out into laughter and dodges as I power-walked my way to kick E's shins with the fury of a thousand 5'3 suns.

We went about the rest of our day until it hit lunch break, and of course who else to apparently wait for me in front of my class other than S himself.

S grabs me by the wrist and pulls me along throughout the campus. We're lightly conversing the whole time, me weaseling a time and date to my beloved reward tubs of ice cream as promised. Without me realizing it, we end up in front of two very familiar rooms.

Another thing, really quickly, about this whole storyline. S was not just an ordinary friend, you see. He was special, in a way, in such that his two closest friends were my crush (at the time) and his best friend who I'd recently rejected. Now those two have a whole 'nother story on their own which I'd deign to discuss publically, so you'll have to settle for those apt descriptions.

So, those two aforementioned mutual friends of ours walk out of those rooms and turn to make eye contact with us. They laugh, good-naturedly, and I sigh in relief because it seems that of all people, E had not gotten the hot gossip to them just yet.

I beckon the two of them over, being none the wiser and thinking we could take our break together when the final straw hits

S throws his arm over my shoulders and pulls me closer.

"Hey guys, Codi's my girlfriend now!"

... You can guess where the argument fits now in this timeline.

(I got my ice cream very shortly after. We're all friends now and it's all water under the bridge! This was a long story so if you've made it this far, just know that this is all but a funny memory to look back on for me and I've since moved on.)

[calpops]

into the wind | c.h.

Based on the prompts “can’t you stay a little longer” and “I’ve waited for this moment for a long time”. Calum takes you on a drive away from the record shop and bakery. Star gazing and soft music highlight a night in which you both wish time wouldn’t have to move so fast.

1.6k words

series masterlist

Copyright © 2020 calpops. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted by anyone else on any platform in any format (translations included).

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Calum’s car is becoming more and more familiar. The faux leather seats are cool against your skin and the air freshener clipped to the vent pours out artificial sweetness; something akin to vanilla. You relax into the seat and buckle in, you have no clue where you’re headed but trust Calum as he settles behind the wheel. He’s brought you home multiple times now, the drives are always quick but time stands still to finish songs parked along the curb. This time you’re headed somewhere new; destination unknown and heart hammering with excitement at the prospect of being with Calum outside of the usual fray—somewhere other than the confines of his record shop or the bakery.

He puts the key in the ignition and the engine stalls for a moment, you catch the quick blush that reddens his cheeks and look the other way, pretending to be preoccupied with something on the sidewalk. In just a moment the engine hums normally and he’s peeling out of the parking spot, headed for somewhere new with the windows rolled down and the wind a welcome guest.

The music comes on as soon as the car starts and a cassette whirs in the player; an old song you don’t know sounds between you. Calum is lost in the drive and the music and your eyes never leave him. His gaze is on the road and he has a grip on the steering wheel with one hand while the other lays palm up on the middle console. A fleeting thought of it being strategically placed for you crosses your mind and you warm at it but you shake yourself and write it off. Your nose scrunches up as your cheeks heat up and you bite your lip as he takes a quick glance at you. Your eyes avert away from his and land on the road.

“The music okay?” He asks and you nearly jump at the sound of his voice.

“It’s good,” you answer with a smile and let the music take over once more as you both lapse into silence.

You can’t help but sneak more glances at him as you drive through familiar streets. Buildings have always dominated the area, some smaller than others , some older and with more character. The town isn’t small but it is a far cry from a city. Buildings pass in a haze and as you catch another glimpse of Calum from the corner of your eye you find you can’t look away or bite back the smile on your face. He darts a quick look at you.

“What?” He asks; voice low and shy and sparking with nervous energy that crackles like lightning you once ran from—and found refuge from in his record shop.

“Nothing—it’s just—well, you were mouthing the lyrics,” you explain and feel your heart race when he blushes again.

“Oh,” he squeaks out and bites his lip. “Sorry.”

“No, no!” You’re quick to defend and deny whatever bashful or regret filled feelings he might be harboring from your observation. In a brash and bold movement you reach for his still open hand; thankful he hadn’t pulled away. “It was cute.”

He grins again and you wonder if it’s for the touch or the compliment. His fingers press into your hold as he gives you a light squeeze and makes a familiar turn. Trees begin to dot the area, fresh air makes way through the windows and the night brings you a bit further away from the usual rush.

“It’s a habit,” Calum explains. “We always have music playing at the shop. If Ashton’s not in my ear I guess I’m singing along.”

You think back to times you were able to sneak glances through the bay window in the bakery and to the register at the record shop. You recall times when Calum was alone but it seemed like he was speaking to someone—you often thought he might be on a call or taking mental inventory and talking to himself like you were apt to do in the kitchen. Now it makes sense. He was singing along to music that poured through the store. You’d only been in a few times and had a small gauge on what songs he might have been lost in. It makes you warm and wonderous. Lost in an attempt to try to put pieces of him together.

“Do you actually sing?” You wonder aloud, his phrasing of the admission leaving you wanting to know more.

He shrugs and humility dances across his face in red cheeks and a twitching nose. You find it endearing and intriguing. His confidence to sing in the record shop or the car contrasts so brightly against the humbleness of his response. You decide not to push the question any further and instead enjoy the feeling of his hand holding yours.

He makes one last turn and the town park shines in the distance from the headlights. In a moment the car is parked and Calum’s turning to face you with his free hand undoing his seatbelt. Your eyes squint as you try to figure out what’s happening. He doesn’t let go of your hand but his eyebrows raise at your inquisition and you feel your heart flutter. You glance at the park past the rope fence tied off; declaring it’s closed.

“Don’t tell me we’re breaking into the park after hours?” You ask and Calum grins but shakes his head no. You tilt your head and await an explanation.

“It’s the only place in town that doesn’t have a brick wall for a view,” he explains and reaches for his door handle which prompts you to do the same though it means losing contact with his hand.

The loss is cold and so is the night but it’s an enjoyable bite of chills that dance in the breeze as you get out and round the car to meet him at the hood. He taps the car invitingly and eases himself up to sit with plenty of room for you by his side. He offers you his hand again and helps you up; minimal distance separates you now, only the wind able to come between you. His gaze is lost to the lush green of the park and eventually tilts up to the sky that shows more of the stars than anywhere else in town. The night is clear and half a moon stares down at both of you, a sliver of moonlight sharpens his jawline and glints off his dark eyes. Music still plays from the car and for a moment everything is curtained in moonlit bliss and a soundtrack reminiscent of easy love stories.

You don’t know how much time has passed or how many songs have played when Calum inches a bit closer. You’ve been caught in conversation that feels entirely too easy and natural. Shy demeanors and walls come crumbling down when privacy and the calm of the night blankets you both. It’s different than in the record shop, it’s less awkward and rushed than in the bakery. You talk about anything but the record shop and bakery; trying to get to know different sides of each other. Everything is easy and subtle. The weight of his arm finding its way around your shoulders doesn’t feel heavy in the slightest, it’s weightless like the air and fully embracing like a summer breeze. You’re smiling as you lean into him and then you’re fully grinning and laughing as he guides you both back to lay atop the hood and find the stars with careful gazes.

You know it’s getting late but time nearly feels irrelevant when you shift and timidly rest your head against his chest. He welcomes it with an inviting arm holding you a bit tighter and a content sigh falling from his lips that cuts off a story about his dog mid sentence. You hear the way his heart skips a beat and picks back up a bit faster. You warm and he picks up talking again; filling the night with the rest of a story about how he adopted Duke. When the story ends and you lapse into a comfortable lull it’s your turn to sigh.

“It’s getting late,” you realize once more and wish time wouldn’t have to move so fast; wish it could pause like you both did to hear the end of songs at the end of your driveway.

“We should get going,” he replies but his tone harbors on a question that instills an opposing thought in your mind.

“Could we stay? Just a while longer?” You ask timidly, slowly sitting up and leaning on an elbow to meet his stare. “It’s really nice to be away from the rush of things.”

Calum nods and maneuvers to mimic your position. You’re now eye to eye and the rest of the world bleeds away in faded moonlight and distant thumps of music. It’s all replaced by the slight pout of his lips and the gleam catching dark brown as he inches closer. Everything but his hand reaching up to lightly trace your jaw fades away. He leans in and you do too; it’s a whirlwind of a paused moment when lips meet and breath is stolen. Time seemingly doesn’t move as fast when he gently caresses your face as he pulls away in a slow manner.

“Feels like I’ve been waiting to do that for a long time,” he admits and you silently agree; all those days turned to weeks catching glances through the windows and late night drives home adding up to a time that seems much too long to have gone without a kiss.

You lean forward and into the wind again, chasing another kiss and blissful moment created by a whirlwind of stalled time.

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[kpopmultifan127]

UserName: HaechanTheSun02 (PART 2)

*DISCLAIMER: Anger, unprotected sex, smut, fluff, jealousy, violence*

Please read PART ONE HERE FIRST!

Sorry POV keeps changing....

Characters: Donghyuck x female reader

Word count: 2,750

@organic-hemp asked for it and here it is :)

Chemistry was now one of y/n favorite subjects. They both got an A on their project and y/n grades for that class made a huge difference.

Teacher: nice job y/n....I guess seating you next to Donghyuck paid off.

She says handing y/n her test scores. y/n felt Hyuck’s hand on her thigh as he smiled at her as he whispers.

Hyuck: nothing like reward sex was a good motivation

y/n nudged him under the table and whispers.

y/n: oh my god Hyuck...shhh..

He let out a giggle. Y/n never felt so happy. Her grades were finally looking good, she’s dating the man of her dreams and she has a job where she can work from home. Her mom’s friend gave her a job where she just has to go over outlines for meetings and make sure everything looked good before it gets sent out. Pretty simple job and it paid well, she was more happy that she doesn’t have to leave her house.

y/n and Hyuck were crazy about each other. The love, lust everything was there. Many times Hyuck couldn’t control himself when sitting next to y/n. Always wanting to put his hand on her thigh working it to her core. No matter where they were.

The teacher was showing a video for the chemistry class for their next project.

Teacher: Mina...can you turn off the lights please?

Mina got up and turned the lights off as the teacher began to play the video. Y/n then felt Hyuck’s hand work his way to her thigh going towards her core.

y/n: babe we are in class....what are you doing?! 

She whispers to him.

Hyuck: what..we are in the back. no one is gonna see plus the lights are off... just let me touch it a little...

y/n: ...babe no..

Hyuck:....but you’re wearing a skirt..you’re killing me here babe. That’s like an open invitation for me to do stuff to you.

He gave her the puppy dog eyes and begged her to let him play with her. She was already feeling wet before he even started. y/n glanced around to see if anyone could see what he was about to do. Then she slowly opened her legs to allow Hyuck get access to her core. He leans in towards her ear and whispers.

Hyuck: damn babe I didn’t even start and you’re wet already...

He began to rub her feeling the wetness through her clothes, and he felt himself become hard. He grabs her free hand to place it on his pants where his hard member is being held down.

Hyuck:...babe look what you did....how are you going to fix it?

y/n bit her lip as he knew what she wanted to do but couldn’t because of where they were.

Hyuck: what are you gonna do...we are in class I can’t fuck your mouth right now.

y/n let out a soft moan making the teacher look back.

Teacher:...are you ok back there y/n.

Hyuck let out a small giggle as y/n nudged him again.

y/n: yes ma’am sorry I hit my shin on the desk.

Teacher: be careful please.

She then continued the video.

y/n:...babe stop.

y/n then saw her phone lit up. It was a message from Mina.

{From Mina 12:32 pm} you guys are fucken disgusting...in class really?! 

y/n giggled looking up over at Mina as she shaking her head. She knew what you guys were doing.

{To Mina 12:34 pm} lol what are you talking about?

{From Mina 12: 36 pm} you both are horny bastards...

The video finished as the teacher turned the lights back on. Hyuck readjusting himself along with y/n fixing her skirt so no one could see what just happened. Hyuck leaned in by y/n ear and whispers.

Hyuck: this shit ain’t over...you still need to fix what you started.

The bell rang for lunch as everyone was packing their bags to go for lunch. Mina and Johnny walked over to y/n and Donghyuck’s table. 

Mina: hey horny bastards...

y/n: oh my god Mina shut up.

Johnny:...huh?

Hyuck:....nothing dude... letting out a giggle.

The 4 of them left class and headed over to the canteen. Hyuck with his arm wrapped around y/n. A voice in the distance called out for y/n and she turns around to see who it was. Hyuck moving his arm out of the way from y/n. It was her old classmate from high school, Doyoung.

y/n: oh my god Doyoung?!

Doyoung: y/n! long time no see!

As she goes in for a hug to Doyoung. Hyuck had an angry glare, Mina noticed and nudges him.

Mina: relax tiger.

whispering to him. Hyuck watching y/n and Doyoung talk for a little bit.

Hyuck: who’s he?

Mina: her old high school classmate. He left before our senior year to go back to Seoul to study music...but I guess he’s back.

Johnny:...is someone jealous? haha

Hyuck:....no. I’m....not.

Mina nudges Johnny. y/n then realizes who she was with.

y/n: oh my god I’m so sorry guys, where are my manners. Doyoung these are my friends! Well you know Mina already.

Mina: hey Doyoung. long time no see.

Doyoung: yeah hey Mina!

y/n: this is Johnny.

Johnny: hey man.

Then y/n wraps her arm around Hyuck giving him goosebumps and introduces him.

y/n: and this is my boyfriend Hyuck.

Doyoung: ah boyfriend?

y/n: yes... She says with a huge smile on her face. Hyuck should be happy as she was so happy when she introduced him as her boyfriend.

Doyoung: nice to meet you Hyuck.

Hyuck:...likewise.

but something just wasn’t right with him. He held y/n’s hand tight making sure Doyoung knows who she belonged to. They all got to the canteen and had their lunch. After they finished school Hyuck waited outside the school for y/n. Hyuck and y/n last class was different from each others but he always waited for her so he can take her home. He was irritated all day even though he knew y/n wouldn’t do anything with Doyoung. It still made him jealous and angry inside. He finally sees y/n walking out of campus but she wasn’t alone. He sees her with Doyoung.

Doyoung: did you need a ride home? I don’t mind taking you

y/n: oh no it’s ok. Hyuck is taking me home. Thank you though.

Doyoung:...he better keep you close. you never know who might just take you away from him.

y/n let out a nervous laugh.

y/n:...oh. ok well see you tomorrow.

y/n quickly walked over to Hyuck. When she got close she leaned in to try to give him a kiss as he looked away. 

y/n: are you ok baby? what’s wrong?

Hyuck:...nothing. lets go.

y/n didn’t understand what was happening but you got into his car. Hyuck drove off making the drive to her apt quiet and awkward. y/n decided to break the silence.

y/n: what’s going on? are you mad at me?

Hyuck: why would I be mad at you?

y/n: well obviously something is up because you’re not talking to me. what the fuck was up with you back at school?

the conversation ended up turning into an argument. Still arguing as they got to her apartment. 

y/n: I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU’RE SO JEALOUS OF HIM. YOU ALREADY KNOW I WOULDN’T DO ANYTHING WITH HIM!

Hyuck: THERE’S SOMETHING I JUST DON’T LIKE ABOUT THAT GUY! HE WANTS SOMETHING FROM YOU! WHY ELSE WOULD HE END UP AT OUR SCHOOL RANDOMLY?!

y/n: OH I DON’T KNOW MAYBE TO GO TO SCHOOL! WHAT THE FUCK HYUCK!

Hyuck never seen y/n lash out like that. He knew he fucked up and she was mad. He could see tears start to fall from her eyes.

Hyuck: look...I’m sorry. My jealousy took over me...I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just that I feel like he wants something more from you. I can see it in his eyes.

y/n: what do you mean? He’s just a friend from high school.

Hyuck: y/n I’m a guy I can see it in his eyes he wants all of you. It’s the same look that the guy had in his eyes before he took my gf away from me. I didn’t want it to happen again. I really like you y/n....

y/n came closer to him as she reached out to hug him really tight. Placing her head on his chest as she heard his heart beat faster and faster. y/n looking up at Hyuck as she tipped toed to give him a kiss on the lips.

y/n: I would never leave you for someone else. I like YOU...not Doyoung. YOU.

Hyuck smiled and leaned in to give y/n another kiss. Making it more passionate, the kissing turning him on. He picks her up and throws her on the bed. His gaze changed instantly as he saw y/n bit the bottom of her lip as she starts to undress herself.

Hyuck: you still need to finish what you started earlier.

y/n craved for him all day, finally finishing what they started and she pull the waistband of his pants down releasing his hard member. y/n licked her lips before giving his cock kitten licks.

Hyuck:...no don’t tease me now babe let me fuck your mouth now.

he begins to thrust in and out of her mouth hitting the back of her throat. Hyuck twitches in her mouth as he can feel he was ready to cum already.

Hyuck: damn baby I’m ready to cum....but I wanna cum inside your pretty lil pussy.

y/n: please baby....fuck me now.

y/n then slides back on the bed as Hyuck inserts himself in her hot core both releasing a moan.  Thrusting in and out. Each time they had sex it felt like it was the first time every time.

Hyuck:...baby I’m gonna cum!

y/n: Hyuck me to--oh my god I’m cumming!!

They both ride out their high as Hyuck became wobbly and softly laid right next to her cleaning them both up. Both staring at the ceiling panting from the crazy sex they just had.

y/n: damn...babe that was great make up sex.

Hyuck: fuck yeah it was...shall we shower and go to sleep?

They both showered and Hyuck spent the night over at her house. He’s been staying over her house quite often now since Jeno got a girlfriend and the place just seemed smaller. The next day they got to school meeting up front with Mina and Johnny.

Mina: hey horny bastards.

y/n: oh my god Mina I get it you’re jealous just get laid.

Mina:....i fucken hate you.

Johnny:...I can help you with that.

Mina whipped her head facing towards Johnny as she glared at him.

Johnny:...well I’m just saying the option is there for you.

They all let out a giggle and walked into campus. They had about an hour before class started so they were all just sitting on the grassy area near their class talking stories. Doyoung walked up to their group looking at y/n.

y/n: hey Doyoung.

Doyoung: Hey y/n can I talk to you about something for Literature class?

y/n:...oh-yeah sure.

Hyuck never worried too much about Doyoung anymore knowing y/n wouldn’t do anything. y/n got up and gave Hyuck a kiss on the cheek before she left. Both of them walking into the hallway near their literature class.

y/n: what’s up Doyoung wha--

Before she could finish her sentence she felt herself be pinned against the wall by Doyoung. As his face was inches away from hers.

y/n: D-Doyoung what are you doing?!

Doyoung: come on y/n I know you miss me. I defiantly missed you.

y/n: what are you talking about?! let me go

Doyoung: nah I don’t think so honey.

Hyuck got worried about you seeing how you never came back to grab your stuff. So he started to go look for you. He heard your voice as he got closer. Coming around the corner he sees you pinned against the wall with Doyoung closing in on your face. Fists begin to form and anger inside of him was ready to hit Doyoung and lash out on y/n. As he began to walk towards them he sees y/n slap Doyoung in the face letting her break free. He stopped in his tracks and watched.

y/n: WHAT THE FUCK DOYOUNG! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!

Doyoung: haha that’s funny. You were so quick to leave him to come with me.

y/n: you little asshole because you said you needed help with literature. 

Doyoung: what’s so great about him? you know I can be so much better than him.

Another slap across his face. Hyuck was proud of y/n at how well she stood up for herself. 

y/n: you’re exactly the same Doyoung! a complete asshole!

Doyoung: oh please you don’t even like him! just admit it!

y/n: yeah you’re right I don’t like him.

Hyuck frozen at what y/n just said. The fists began to form again but stopped after hearing what she said next.

y/n: it’s because I LOVE HIM!

Doyoung: HAHAHA WHAT?!

y/n: you heard me you little shit! I LOVE HYUCK WITH ALL MY HEART! There’s nothing in the world that will get me to like an asshole like---

Before y/n finished Doyoung slapped her across the face. Hyuck couldn’t take it anymore and ran over to them as he swung punching Doyoung sending him to the ground. A teacher saw everything unfold as he ran over grabbing Doyoung.

Teacher: WHY YOU HITTING THIS YOUNG LADY!

Doyoung: ha! she deserved it.

As he started to walk away the teacher wanted to make sure y/n was ok.

Teacher: are you ok miss? do you need to go to the health aid?

y/n: no I’m fine

As she was holding the side of her cheek. 

Teacher: is this your boyfriend? y/n nodded yes.

Teacher: you’re a great boyfriend standing up for her. you both get going. Classes will be starting soon.

Hyuck wrapped his arm around y/n as they started walking to class.

y/n: how did you know where I was?

Hyuck: Well you said Literature and you were taking quite sometime to come back so I got worried.

y/n: so you heard everything?

Hyuck:...heard what?

He knew what you meant by it. He wanted to see if she would say everything she said again but to Hyuck’s face. y/n started to turn red as she wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell him. What if he doesn’t love her back, then their relationship would just take a huge turn.

y/n:..oh um...nevermind.

It was quiet for a few mins as they still was walking to class. Hyuck decided to break the silence.

Hyuck: y/n?

y/n: yes....

Hyuck: I hope you know I love you too.

She stopped in her tracks.

y/n: wh--what?

Hyuck turned to her and cupped her face with his hands looking her straight in the eyes

Hyuck: I said I love you too.

y/n: how did you?

Hyuck: I may have heard your conversation...I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me anything y/n. I thought you would see how much I loved you already.

y/n: i was scared to say anything yet, because I knew what you went through. I wanted to make sure when I said it to you that you’d actually believe me.

Hyuck: I would’ve believed you. You saved my life.

y/n: huh I did?

Hyuck let out a little giggle as he kissed her on the forehead.

Hyuck: remember how I told you what happened with my last gf?

y/n: yes...

Hyuck: well that left a huge hole in my heart.  I wasn’t sure if I could fall in love again until I met you. Seeing how you stuck up for yourself made me fall more in love with you. Then hearing you say that you loved me made me realize that you are the love of my life and I want to spend every day with you forever.

Tears started to form in y/n’s eyes as she heard correctly he did love her too. And she leaned in to give him a really tight hug.

y/n: I love you Hyuck.

Hyuck kissed y/n on her forehead and then to peck on her nose and a kiss on her lips.

Hyuck: I love you too y/n..

As they started to walk again y/n forgot the pain on her cheek and the hole in Hyuck’s heart that hadn’t fully healed just did because he found someone who loved him as much as he loved her. 

[quietlyimplode]

Whumptober2020 — #2 Kidnapped

Clint/Nat - With Tony and Pepper coming to help.

“Natasha’s been kidnapped. She was taken off the roof of our hotel adjacent building. There was a struggle. I need your help. This is a secure line.” He says it robotically, breaking it down so there’s no room for misunderstandings.

He can hear Tony typing. “Where are you?”

Clint/Nat

Day 1 // 

——-

The mission in Morocco was indeed a shit show.

Landing in Rabat, Clint had that feeling that things were just going to go wrong; an overpowering pit of the stomach, dejavu butterfly- monster mash of anticipation; making him drag his feet at every transition. Natasha, however, had been in her element, large hat, beautifully dressed, tan the perfect shade and looking like a local as they headed for the Kasbah of the Udayas to meet with their contact.

Their driver had, of course, taken them the long way round but it had given them time to scout the area so neither minded the drive.

“You,” the driver had started, “here for a holiday?”

Natasha had smiled, making light conversation easily. It had allowed Clint to take in the scenery, and scout points where he could perch. He paid more attention when Natasha reached across and grabbed his hand squeezing lightly. Looking across, she signed low for him to check if anyone was following, whilst continuing to talk about London where she was supposedly from. He’s often in awe of her but it’s times like this where the phrase ‘competence porn’ feels apt. There’s no way he could multitask like her.

Clint hadn’t noticed anyone following, assuming their arrival had gone unnoticed, who were they in a city of just over half a million people?

Intel leading them here had been from Natasha’s contact in Casablanca, he assumes it’s clean; the Black Widow’s reputation for revenge of those who would dare cross her is obvious, perhaps now, outdated.

He signs back his observations, to which she nods and inquires to the driver how much longer til they arrive. It obvious that the driver doesn’t want to give up the fare, as he drives around the tourist attraction , before stopping to let them out. Clint tips him well enough to be forgotten instantly as Natasha heads to the front desk to pay the entry fee.

The meet goes as well as can be expected and the intel they gain is easily fed back to their superiors. They ditch the burner phone and shed their personas and walk to their hotel, holding hands like two lovers on a evening walk. Their hotel is basic and they hope to be gone by the morning. Natasha takes first watch and Clint makes himself sleep, trusting she’ll wake him when it’s his turn to watch their backs. They could stay in the hotel room, but both know the risks of being ambushed in a confined space, the odds they would both make it would be low; so the compromise of shift watch is fair. He had properly scouted the area whilst Natasha had gone for dinner- he’s confident in the spot he chose for the watch, high enough to not be noticed, close enough to the hotel to raise alarms.

Clint's body clock wakes him exactly 5 hours after falling asleep- no Natasha. Which in itself isn’t odd as she may be on her way, but he feels it, Clint’s damn spidey-sense is fucking blaring. He heads for the scout point and he can feel the butterflies turn into stones as his stomach bottoms out again, feelings returning tenfold. It makes him want to throw up. Desperate now, he calls Natasha. There’s no answer, of course she didn’t take her phone and they’d got rid of the burner earlier. He hopes to god she left her earpiece in.. The one he left back at the hotel. Fuck.

The scout point shows signs of a struggle- scuff marks, blood, she had time to put up a fight then. He’s nervous. And worried.

Hurrying now, he calls Tony, sprinting back to the hotel. He can’t think of what else to do. If he goes through the proper channels, he’d be recalled, they’d go through the mission with a fine tooth comb- all of that takes time. Time he does not have; time Natasha does not have. He wants to capitalize on not being too far behind whoever’s kidnapped her.

Clint dials Tony again. And again when he doesn’t pick up. Clint rounds on the hotel, out of breath. Hands on his knees he swipes to get into the room.

Ringing Pepper now, he’s desperate. He calculates quickly in his head the time 1am here means 10pm in New York; laughing darkly as he thinks that the one time Tony’s gone to bed early or actually getting some sleep. Pepper answers on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Pepper? It’sNatashaineedTony.” He said catching his breath and blurting it out.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Pepper, it’s Clint. I need Tony,” he rephrases; slowing his speech and breaking his words.

Pepper sighs, “he’s in the workshop, can you hold?”

Nodding and then realizing she can’t see him, he responds affirmatively.

He’s packing a go-bag, Natasha would be appalled at the organization but he’s not thinking right.

Tony’s jovial hello is not what he needs right now.

Clint makes himself stop. Makes himself explain the necessity of Tony and Iron Man.

“Natasha’s been kidnapped. She was taken off the roof of our hotel adjacent building. There was a struggle. I need your help. This is a secure line.” He says it robotically, breaking it down so there’s no room for misunderstandings.

He can hear Tony typing. “Where are you?”

Clint gives the coordinates, looking them up on his phone.

“Rabat? You’re in Rabat? That’s a 12 hour flight commercial, maybe 6 by quinjet, maybe 2 by suit. I’ll re-task one with medical now,” Clint can hear Tony thinking; at least one of them is thinking straight. “I’m looking at satellite footage, when was she taken?”

Clint doesn’t know.

“We got back to the hotel, ate and then she left for the scout point. She was on first watch. I think she has her earpiece in. Can you track that?”

More furious typing.

“She’s about 21 miles from you, the earpiece is pinging from an importer warehouse. I can meet you there but it’s going to take me around two hours flying at full speed; even if we get her the jets going to be 4 hours behind me. Do you have a plan?”

Clint is reluctant to admit he doesn’t. He wants to get to the warehouse now. He doesn’t want to wait two hours, it’s going to take around an hour to get there regardless.

Tony is, surprisingly a voice of reason. He knows Tony loves Natasha - not like he does but they connect in a way he doesn’t get. Maybe joint trauma, who knows. He respects it, and right now he is thankful for it.

“I’m on my way. Head to the warehouse; I know you are anyway, and I’ll meet you there. The warehouse is guarded - I would advise not to engage tactically it’d be better to have a diversion and get her out when attention is elsewhere.” He can hear Tony jogging, talking as he goes “Who are these guys? Clint; so you know; they’re everywhere. If you can; wait for my signal. Get yourself in position I’ll be there as soon as I can, I’m swapping to your comms line now. The jets already left, Pepper is on board, and a med team. They’ll be there in just under 6 hours. We will have to get her out and get to the airport. Let’s try and get her on coms.. If she’s conscious…” he leaves that thought hanging.

“Anyway. I’m now on comms, I’ll catch you soon bird boy. Hang tight.” He hangs up the phone, and stuffs it in his back pocket. Clint’s taken the opportunity to check out and head for the ally; looking to steal a car whilst Tony’s been talking.

Tony’s right, it’s going to take him an hour to get there, even at this time. He’s thankful for the cover of darkness; the black fiat is ugly but does the job. It’s an old enough model that he can jimmy the lock and hot wire the steering. He sets the coordinates on his phone and leaves.

By the time he gets there he checks in with Tony, who reports he’s 45 minutes out. Enough time for a full scout. He tries Natasha again, tapping his com-link. It’s toast. Unless.. He connects it to his phone and runs diagnostics. He’s not as technical as Tony but he has a few tricks. When he reconnects he hears the tail end of his name.

Had she been calling it the whole time, or was that just freakishly good timing? Tony hears it too.

“Tash?!” He tries. He can hear her breath hitching. Fuck. She’s not ok. “We’re coming for you.”

Tony’s more practical and Clint’s never been more thankful for him. He’s an ass but a helpful ass, “tell us what you can?”.

Clint wants to infiltrate now. He’s desperate; Natasha describes that she can’t see anything. Not helpful. And that she can’t move. Worrying. There’s nothing after that. Tony lets her know that they’ve tracked her earpiece. She’s silent after that. No one really has anything to say except the obvious. They’re coming.

Clint heads to the back of warehouse.

Tony is now 20 minutes out.

And then it starts.

Natasha is screaming.

It’s excruciating.

Tony’s yelling at him to wait, but he can’t. He heads in. This place is a maze. Navigating the stairs, he hears Tony arrive. The explosion that sounds and rocks the building. He should have waited but he can still hear Natasha screaming and it’s ringing in his ears.

All of sudden she stops, and so does his heart. Moving faster he gets to the lower levels. Shooting two thugs in the face he starts checking rooms.

Tony is creating a hell of a diversion, drawing fire. Clint let’s him know that he hasn’t found her yet. The firefight outside continues.

The last room he checks is dark, and he heads inside. There’s something inside, he clears the doorway and finds her strapped to a table, his heart breaks in two- there’s straps around her feet, torso and arms; as he gets closer he sees the one around around her neck. Fuck.

The minefield of this trauma is just starting. He can see the rise and fall of her chest and at least she’s alive to see the c-ptsd.

Trying to rouse her he calls her name, he unstraps her ankles, and wrists; moving to her torso she starts bucking against the restraint. He tries to reassure her whilst undoing the strap; wounds that were oozing now have a streaky stream of blood. The wound on her stomach is hideous and her wrists and ankles have broken skin all around them and that’s just what he can see. He can feel her body tremors which he knows from experience only comes from electric shock. He finishes with her torso and moves to her neck. In hindsight, he should have started there, her body curls up in a fetal position - sounds of distress that aren’t words and not crying come hard and fast. Clint squats next to her face, brushing her hair back, his hand coming away with blood. He’s working as fast as he can with the strap around her neck, blood making it both slippery and sticky, fingers working the clasp.

It takes a lot for Natasha to scream, this he knows. He wonders how many were working on her to get her this distressed, this quickly. He tells her that it’s over, it’s done and they’re dead (he hopes they are), he picks her up and advises her they’re leaving.

Clint pulls a blanket from his pack and wraps her in it. He places a gun in her hands. At the most it makes her feel safe, at worse she shoots something or someone. He just wants her to be safe with him. She was supposed to be safe with him.

Clint just talks, tells her everything that’s happened since they split up. Clint tells her everything and nothing hoping it’s enough to keep her semi-lucid and awake.

Tony updates him that he’s leaving to meet the quinjet that’s made double time across the sea. He bundles her in the tiny fiat and heads for the airport. Clint tries to keep her awake, failing miserably; Natasha is moaning in pain and there’s nothing he can do at this point. He worries about concussion and trauma, but it can hold. He wants to get out of here.

.

Arriving at the airport, he sees Tony and Pepper and the quinjet waiting. Bundling Natasha into his arms, he tries to rouse her. He greets the couple, both taking one look at Natasha and hurrying into the jet. It’s when they’re sitting and he’s strapped himself in with assistance from Tony; arguing about whether Natasha should be in a hospital or at the very least needs medical interventions that Clint feels Natasha rouse. He feels her burying her head into his neck, straining for breath. Cracked ribs maybe? Tony notices, of course he does, her breathing is audible; Tony tries to make his case again and he feels Natasha trembling when medical is mentioned. Clint feels her pain. He brushes her hair away from her ear, wanting to be clear.

“Natasha. We can sedate you and fix you up if you want?”

He feels the shake of her head and he drops it immediately. It’s a long ride back to New York.

—-

Next up: we head back to the events which led Natasha to be captured (it’s shorter). Thanks everyone who’s liking and reblogging, you’re all brilliant. I also need to say, that I’m 100% on mobile so the formatting is shoddy - I’ll try and get on the computer to put it under a cut but that won’t probs happen til Monday, so sorry about that.

[bobasheebaby]

Sixteen- Cordonian Ruby chapter 4

Pairing: Olivia x Bastien; Ruby Rys; Beau Larkin (OC)

Word count: 1,562

Warnings: angst, fluff (two weeks of no warnings! Look at me!)

Summary: Bas and Liv learn they might have to start letting go on Ruby’s sixteenth birthday.

A/N: A major thanks to @sirbeepsalot for all your graping, prereading and editing. I love you boo!

Series warnings: character death, blood, surgical procedures done by non medical personnel, may go NSFW in the future. May contain gun violence, knife violence, threats, not sure how dark this will go. By requesting to be tagged you acknowledge you are at least 18 years of age.

Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.

Disclaimer: Ruby, Galen, Lovett & Beau all belong to me, the rest I’m borrowing from PB.

Ruby stared at the man who raised her, hope inscribed upon her face. “Papa please,” she repeated.

She loved him, he was the only father she’d ever known, but sometimes he acted as if she was still a child. Both her parents had ensured she could protect herself, and yet they treated her as though she’d easily break like glass.

Bastien sighed. “Goose …”

Ruby rolled her eyes at the nickname, proof he still saw her as a child. “You know I can take care of myself, Papa. Beau is sweet, he wouldn’t try anything, but if he did I’d make him regret it.”

He raked a hand over his face, he’d expected her to say that. She didn’t understand, she couldn’t understand without him telling her how her parents had died. Olivia and he agreed, the facts of Carolyn and Liam’s deaths would only lead to too many questions they wouldn’t be able to answer without her finding out that she was royalty.

She was too young, not ready for what knowing her position would mean. Ideally, she’d choose to return and take back her kingdom from Bradshaw, she still had two more years. Two more years and she could know. Will two years really be enough time to ensure she has the skills and knowledge needed to shoulder the responsibility?

“I know you can take care of yourself, that’s not the issue, Goose.”

“Then why? Why do I have to be driven around like a little baby when Beau could easily pick me up and drive me?”

Bastien stared at his daughter, gone was her cherubic face, the small innocent child who ran to him with her problems. Before him stood a young woman who fought him and questioned him. Her ability to stand her ground and stick up for her own beliefs would take her far as a leader. He was proud of the young woman she was becoming, but he found himself torn. He could still see the small child he clutched to his chest, the little girl who ran to him with tears in her eyes, but he could also see the strong woman she would soon become. “Goose, Mama and I would both be more comfortable if a more experienced driver took you.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. It was close enough to the truth that she would hopefully drop it. They had never allowed any of their children in a car with anyone other than them.

Her face twisted in indignation, reminding him once more of the small child who had a fiery spirit and strong will. His heart clenched and he nearly folded, nearly saying the words: sometimes even experienced drivers fail at keeping you safe, I know because I was unable to save your parents. He couldn’t, she would only question what he meant, it wouldn’t be long until she then figured out who her parents were.

“Papa that’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair?” Olivia questioned as she walked into the living room.

Ruby’s sapphire eyes lit up, if anyone could convince her papa it was her mama. “Mama, tell Papa he’s being overprotective.”

“She wants Beau to drive her on their date.”

“Absolutely not, out of the question.”

“Mama!”

“Just tell us where he’s taking you and we’ll drop you off and pick you up.”

“Well …” Ruby bit her lip, “he said he wanted to surprise me … maybe I can get him to tell me.”

Olivia and Bastien shared a look, both knowing what the other wasn’t saying; this didn’t feel right. “No, give me his number and I’ll find out.” Olivia replied.

Ruby grimaced, her mother talking to the boy she liked certainly didn’t bode well for her, though she knew if she didn’t comply she wouldn’t be going at all. She wasn’t sure what was worse, telling him her parents changed their minds or allowing her mother to call him. Each of her ‘options’ would result in the same outcome: complete social suicide.

She heaved a sigh as she passed her mother her phone. Please don’t embarrass me too much.

- - -

Ruby sat back in the cracked leather seats of the old blue and white pick up. She still didn’t understand how Beau had been able to change her mother’s mind. Her mother rarely changed her mind, even for her father.

She caught sight of Beau continually glancing down at the speedometer. Her eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Why are you doing that?”

“Doing what?” Beau responded, not taking his eyes off the road.

“Why do you keep checking the speed?”

He gave a nervous laugh. “Well, I promised your mom I wouldn’t go over the speed limit.”

Ruby twisted her body to face him. “That’s how you convinced her to let you pick me up?”

She’d been dying to know what he’d said to convince her headstrong mother. She had hoped to learn when he picked her up but both of her brothers’ had to make sure that Beau knew not to make their sister cry. At ten and seven they were both well on their way to be as apt at defending themselves as she was. Both boys were fiercely protective of their sister, it was sweet, but sometimes they went overboard.

“Yea …” he lifted his hand from the wheel to scratch the back on his neck, better not, he thought, replacing his hand on the steering wheel. “I also had to give her my number, promise to call when we got there, told her where we’re going, she has my mom’s number as well as the number of the place we are going and I have to call her when we leave.”

“Oh. My. God.” Ruby exclaimed slumping forward, her face falling into her hands. Her mother had gone too far. She surely would never live this down at school. “I’m so sorry.” Her words were muffled by her hands.

She had never before felt such embarrassment. She willed the floor beneath her to open up. Bouncing along the paved road sounded so appealing at the moment.

“Relax Ruby, it’s fine.”

Her head snapped up, “really?” The words escaping her mouth a second before she realized that she was in his car; he had agreed to the conditions.

“Yea, I mean my parents nearly lost it when my older sister started dating. It was slightly better when I did, and it took forever for them to allow me to drive by myself.”

She looked at the window, taking in the landscape as it passed by. Large stretches of fields, occasionally dotted with a home or barn. Her eyes widened as he turned down a long dirt lane. “So where are we going?”

“This is my grandparents' property, they let us practice shooting out here. Your mom said I shouldn’t be too upset if you school me.”

Her sun kissed cheeks tinged pink. Of course her mother would brag about her ability. She was usually proud to show off and show any boy up. The girls at school teased her that she’d never get a boyfriend if she insisted on being better than them. Her mother always said any guy worthy of her wouldn’t feel insecure if she outshined them. She was torn, should she give it her all or hold back?

She glanced over at him, could he handle her showing him up? He’d planned this date before speaking to her mother, so maybe he could.

“She did tell me I better have you home in time for your birthday dinner … I’m surprised they let you come out. My parents always insist we stay home on our birthdays.”

“Yeah,” she tucked her hair behind her ear. “They let us pick one thing to do for our birthdays. Plus Papa made his special birthday pancakes that Mama hates. He started making them when I was eight and Galen was three. He wanted something special for breakfast and it just became tradition for all our birthdays.”

- - -

Ruby slowly lowered the shotgun, a small smile playing on her lips as she pulled the noise canceling headphones off. Beau’s excited hoots and hollers filtered in spreading the smile wider.

“Look at you Eagle Eye, I don’t think any of the grandkids ever hit that target with such accuracy.” Beau said, his hazel eyes shining brightly.

Ruby shrugged, “I’ve had a lot of practice.”

Beau stepped closer. “Why do you do that?” He asked carefully removing the safety goggles from her face.

“Do what?” Her mouth suddenly grew dry at how close he was to her.

“Deflect my compliments. You do it at school too.”

“Oh.” She fought the urge to lower her gaze. Would he understand or laugh if she told him the truth? Sometimes it’s tough being good at almost everything and having all eyes on me.

“You don’t have to do that with me.”

She stared up at him in awe, the sincerity on his face clear. For a moment she envisioned the following year walking in the halls with him laughing.

Would she still be there in a year? She pushed the worry away.

She’d deal with it if and when the time came. For now she’d live in the moment, have fun getting to know a guy who liked her and didn’t want her to hide herself.

This might be the best birthday yet.

Feedback fuels me, please like, comment reblog or send an ask. Feel free to scream, I promise I can take it.

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[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.76

Nursing his right arm, Lance was still slightly shocked he’d been shot by Krolia. He couldn’t say he didn’t have it coming, following her voice calling his name like he had, but Krolia... Jesus. What’d he got himself into. Keith was furious. Krolia seemed to take it all in good humour. Lance was trying his hardest to keep the peace between mother and son... but she just might be the weirdest person who’d come into his life lately.

Being strong for Keith, he’d pulled his shirt back on, letting Keith do the buttons for him because he knew how much his boyfriend was worrying. Maybe if he’d stopped to think, he would have realised it was all a prank... yet, when that gun had come out, all he’d thought about was Keith not getting shot on his watch. Following the sound of Coran’s voice, the whole group was waiting with him as he tried to calm down a raging Pidge who demanded to see him. Krolia was standing towards the back of the group looking rather amused. Wrapping his good arm around his gremlin, Pidge went straight for his nuts, before realising it was him and throwing herself into his hold

“You fucking scared me!”

Scared him? He was a hair away from being hit in the balls!

“I’m fine. A little bruise and good as new”

“You’re being a lying little shit, aren’t you?”

Lance kissed Pidge on the top of the head. She was just the right height for him to abuse his older brother rights

“Totally. Nah. I’m okay. Are you guys okay?”

“We were until Shiro started shaking and said you’d been shot! What the fuck man!”

Pidge pulled out of his grip, Lance yelping as she punched his bad arm. Staggering into Keith as he clutched his arm tighter, glasses falling off his face thanks to his lack of coordination, his foot landing on them where they were crunched as Keith cried

“Lance!”

Keith wrapped his arms around him as he caught him, hand firm against his now extra sore arm, Lance groaned

“Not that arm...”

Keith swearing

“Shit!”

They were ridiculous. They’d make an amazing comedy act. The vampire who kept getting himself hurt and his boyfriend who kept finding the spots by accident.

Coran patted his shoulder... his sore shoulder. Lance wondering if this was how he died?

“I think maybe we should all sit down for a pot of tea. Krolia, will you be joining us?”

God. Yes. Yes, Coran! You beautiful fae bastard! Anything so he wouldn’t get hit or nearly hit or hugged to hard again! Krolia’s reply held traces of a giggle at their antics. It wasn’t Lance’s fault he was clumsy. That’s what happened when you wore a prescription that wasn’t right for them suddenly got attacked by a wild gremlin

“I wouldn’t miss it for anything”

Coran fetched a tray of tea as the rest of them sat around a conference table that was thankfully not the one they’d be at when Kolivan visited. Krolia sat across from Keith, smile on her lips as Lance tried not to look at her. She was beautiful. Black hair streaked with purple. Features so much like Keith’s. Keith was a good foot taller than his mother, but Lance knew Krolia could easily whoop his boyfriend’s arse. Hunk looked nervous again. Pidge was sitting between him and Lance. And the silence was awkward as hell. He may as well have died in the alley for how awkward things were. What was a little shooting between friends? Mentally he’d placed a bet on Shiro talking first... He’d have won $10 if he’d taken his own bet... but he wasn’t exactly sure how to pay himself.

“Krolia. We had the suspicion you’d arrive soon. How are you finding Platt?”

Lance wasn’t moody... not jealous that Shiro was being the cool mature one

“Fine. It’s nice to see you, Curtis and Keith again. Let’s be honest here, I’m more pleased to find Keith safe and well, and even more interested on how he came to be dating a vampire”

Lance flushed, sliding down in his chair, aggravating his shoulder as he did

“Are you saying there’s something wrong with my brother?!”

Bless Pidge! Krolia had no idea how mad Pidge could get

“Not at all. He seems to be quite apt. Passed the boyfriend test with flying colours”

“Good, because he’s been through enough shit. It doesn’t matter if this is his first relationship. He’s about as good at it as Keith”

Aaaaaaand he was sliding further down in his chair.

Across the table Krolia laughed

“If he was as good as Keith, an inability to converse and they’d never have gotten past awkward friendship”

Now Lance was annoyed. Sitting up to fast, his poor arm was wracked with shooting pains

“Keith talks to me about all kinds of things. He’s a good man. He’s funny, and he’s weird, and his haircut is fresh out of the ‘80’s and I like that about him”

Krolia raised an eyebrow. She was wearing an expression he’d seen so many times on his boyfriend’s face

“Keith is like, he’s a good guy. He makes Lance happy, and we’re friends, right, man”

Hunk’s awkwardness made Lance’s heart swell. Not only was the big guy ignoring his nerves, but he saw Keith as Keith, despite having so much to wrap his head around.

Shiro laughed

“I’m afraid Keith’s gone and made some pretty good friends here, Krolia. He’s really come out of his shell since meeting Lance. It’s been good for him. And I’m pretty sure you’re going to be in trouble if you tease him”

Krolia shrugged

“I’m happy for him. I really am. As long as he’s continuing to be careful, we can cover the fact he’s fallen for a vampire”

Keith slammed his hands on the table. Lance wincing. His boyfriend was still an anger loaf at heart

“I don’t want to cover the fact I’m dating Lance. He’s... he’s my boyfriend and probably my best friend. You don’t get to act like a mother when it suits you. Seriously, why did you even come?”

“To see you. I know you may find it hard to believe it, but I do care for you”

“Right. Like you cared when you dropped off the face of the fucking planet and abandoned me after dad died!”

Sadness washed over Krolia’s face

“I didn’t know he’d died and by the time I did, it was safer for you to stay in the system”

Oh, Lord. Krolia was another Keith. Keith was so angry he was blurting out things he’d never usually say in front of Pidge and Hunk

“Yeah. Bounce your kid from house to house. You’re too late, Mum. I feel more for Miriam than I do for you”

That wasn’t true. That wasn’t true and Lance knew it. Part of Keith desperately wanted to reconnect with his mother. This was only serving to drive a wedge further between them

“Look, Keith. You know the life. I couldn’t raise you at the Blades. It wouldn’t have been safe for you there”

“So you wait until I’m nearly dead? Wait, no, it was Shiro who saved me. He’s my brother, and my family. Not you”

Lance groaned. Getting Keith and Krolia on the same page was going to be one hell of a fight

“I sent money to every single family you were at. I followed you until you decided you had to run away. I never stopped caring about you. Leaving you and your father broke my heart, but I couldn’t bring a war down on both of you”

See! Lance was right. Krolia did love Keith in her own way. She just really sucked at telling him and Keith wasn’t... Keith didn’t know how to hear her or see past the pain

“That wasn’t your call to make”

Awkward silence descended again. Lance kind of wished Pidge and Hunk weren’t there... nor Shiro and Curtis. If he could just get them talking then... it’d be a start. Keith said a lot in what he didn’t say, and right now he was screaming for someone to reach out and reassure him... but despite everything he was feeling, Lance knew that Krolia was the one he needed. Moving his sore arm, he rested his hand on Keith’s thigh to silently remind him he was there for him.

They all breathed a sigh of relief when Coran came in with a tray of tea. Setting each up in front of them, Keith glared at the liquid as if it’d offended him, Coran either oblivious or ignoring the atmosphere

“Lactose free for number two... Now let’s all sit enjoy a nice cup of tea as we talk. Krolia, perhaps you can tell us more about your companions? Don’t worry, Pidge and Hunk here both signed a non-disclosure, they’re practically family”

Pidge and Hunk now had an uncle to add to their weird little family. Coran knew all about them, and had always enjoyed hearing about them

“Perhaps we should save that for a more formal briefing. I am interested in my son’s progress here”

Coran’s voice filled with pride

“He’s excellent. Very diligent and task orientated. His skills may be wasted in a small city like Platt, but we are certainly happy to have him, and Shiro, naturally”

“I’m glad to hear that. Originally we sent him here to be safe, with a nice easy target. I wasn’t able to meet with him before he left. We didn’t expect the escalation of things quite so quickly, but being here means I’ll be able to spend more time with him, and Lance”

Keith snorted, Krolia picking up her cup of tea, looking over the rim

“Something funny?”

“This act you’re putting on for everyone. I’ve finally found a place I’m happy, and you walk in like you’re just going to be part of my life”

“Keith, you know...”

“No, mum. I don’t know. You’ve made it clear I’m a disappointment of a hunter... Sitting over there, laughing at the fact I couldn’t kill one vampire...”

Keith went to move Lance’s hand off his thigh, forgetting to be careful as he did. Hissing, Lance moved to move his right arm with his left, Keith’s whole face falling as he’d realised he’d hurt him

“I can’t do this”

Keith went to push back his chair, Lance on his feet before he could, clutching his arm against as him as he spoke

“Wait! Okay. Time out. Keith, I don’t know Krolia, but I can tell she does care. She just doesn’t know how to talk to you properly. Krolia, you keep antagonising him. Things like wanting to know how Keith is, is different from prying into his skills, or his work here. Keith, she’s your mum. I’ve barely met her and I can see so much of you in her. I know it’s hard to talk about what you need to with all of us here, but neither of you hate each other. There’s no need to set each other off because you can’t quite figure out how to start a conversation. Keith is mad at you, Krolia. You shouldn’t have pulled a prank like you did today, expecting he’d understand why or be okay with it. Babe, your mum’s a Blade member and as far as I can tell, they’re all a bit weird. I’m not exactly happy over what happened, but it did, and we don’t have a magical time machine to undo it. Before you ask, Pidge, time travel isn’t a real thing, I’m sorry to break your heart like that. Krolia, I’m serious about Keith. I care a lot about him, and deciding to date wasn’t easy for either of us. I’m the enemy. You guys are supposed to kill people like me and move on without a second thought. Now, my arm really fucking hurts and my ego is probably showing because I’m a bit too protective of Keith, but enough’s enough....”

Lance flushed as he realised he’d kind of let lose on both Krolia and Keith and probably embarrassed his boyfriend as well as hurt his feelings by acting like Keith couldn’t talk for himsel. Feeling like he had to explain even more and knowing he really needed to shut up, he finished rather lamely

“Ummm. Well, yeah. Basically, stop being mad at each other because you’re both angry little loafs that don’t know how to socialise”

Keith stared at him long enough to know he’d walked all over his boyfriend’s feelings. It took all of ten seconds for Keith to be pushing his chair back

“I’m sorry, Coran. I don’t think I’ll be very good company”

At least Keith paused long enough to apologise, before leaving the room... Not inviting Lance to go with him. Yeah. That wasn’t missed. Keith was getting so good at coming to him to talk, that Lance expected it

“I’ll talk to him. But Lance is right. Keith doesn’t know how to talk to you about anything that’s not work. You and I need to have a conversation, Krolia”

Oh damn. He didn’t want to be Krolia. A mad Shiro was a scary thing in its own way. As Shiro left to find Keith, Pidge leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she did

“Damn. And I thought my family was dysfunctional. Is it like this all the time?”

Lance sighed, wriggling his chair closer to his gremlin for comfort

“Keith? Keith’s family? Or being here?”

Pidge huffed

“I’m not prying into Keith’s past until he wants to tell us. Look what happened last time someone’s dark secret came out? I found out one brother’s a werewolf and the others a vampire. Nope. No more prying there. I mean here in general. How do you guys get any work done?”

“Normally they do the work and I just stay in my room”

“So you’re a slacker?”

“I prefer to think of it as much loved relative visiting. But yeah. Kind of a slacker. All I can really do is support Keith and Shiro, around working from home”

Coran was staring at the conference room door, as if he thought Shiro and Keith would be back by now

“Lance does help us quite a lot. He’s always been a very charming and helpful person. Very smart too”

Pidge snorted

“Coran, are you sure you’ve got my brother? He can’t even work his phone properly”

“That’s because it has so much unnecessary stuff on it. Huuuunk, help me out. Please tell Pidge it’s okay to be technology illiterate”

“From what I hear, vampires don’t forget things. Sorry, bro. You’ve got no excuse”

Lance pouted, betrayed by his cinnamon roll and ridiculed by his anger muffin

“And here I was loving the pair of you. Coran, I take back all the nice things I said about them. Curtis, you and me. Us against the world?”

Curtis wore an expression so Shiro like that Shiro would have been proud

“Sorry, Lance. You are good friend and you’ve helped me immensely, despite my constant queries over your body and your heat. I’m happy to have met you, but yours isn’t the dick I want. You have Keith for that, though I do wish you’d accepted his physical help through your heats sooner. It would have made the changes you are going through quite a lot less painful. Though you two are quite loud mid coitus. I think I much prefer you two watching television than to think of you engaging anything sexual. No offence”

Lance choked on air. Curtis was the one who kept gifting him condoms and sex toys. He had a whole case of them waiting at home, never to be used without Keith. Pidge cackled

“Damn, dude. You got rejected without even aiming for it. For what it’s worth, Keith helped me understand that super senses aren’t that great when you can hear Matt having sex”

Lance groaned all the way to the depths of his soul

“Can we pleeeeeease stop talking about sex in front of Keith’s mother? Coran, help?”

“I guess we could discuss how hesitant you were to accept Keith as your boyfriend initially and that nasty...”

Lance was sure Coran was going to blab about the mercury incident

“Nope! No! You all suck! Everyone but Hunk is off my Christmas card list”

“Thanks, bro”

Lance couldn’t reach to fist bump Hunk, but he would have if he could have. The vampire was taking it slowly, Hunk not like Pidge and her weirdly easy acceptance. That’s why they’d played with Kosmo without talking all that much, trying to show Hunk he wasn’t any different than a human

“I’ve got you, fam. I’ll be sending one to Shay too. Oh, have you guys been to my house lately? I’m worried about the roses”

“If you’re that worried, you should just come back home already”

Lance couldn’t hide his surprise

“You want me back there?”

Okay. So they’d taken it well, but he was kind of like an inmate here. At the end of the night, they knew the big bad vampire was all tucked up safe and sound below ground. Plus, Pidge had gotten the scare of her life the last time they’d been at the house. His poor gremlin had had so much to process. She was still processing, despite how brave she was being. Plus, there was this whole “her parents knew” thing that needed to be worked out. What he needed was a double who could be there with Pidge and Hunk, helping them work things out, while he was also with Keith... who was currently mad at him. Super mad if Lance had to hazard a guess. He hoped Shiro would get through to his boyfriend...

“No. I just thought I’d mention it. Actually, I did think of burning it down, but you weren’t home”

Lance sighed. She would have done it... and Keith would have lost his boyfriend the same way he’d lost his father

“Pidge, I know you’re serious, but please don’t ever say that in front of Keith. His father died in a house fire and he’s still really hurt by it. Don’t like bring it up”

“Oh, fuck! Krolia, I am so sorry!”

Krolia sipped her tea, looking uncomfortable as she did. Two very long moments before Pidge “whispered” for support

“Laaaance...”

Pidge didn’t know how to “Krolia”. Lance didn’t either. He didn’t get a bad vibe from her... but... she’d held the gun knowing they didn’t know it was loaded with rubber bullets

“You didn’t know. Keith and I have talked more than you guys have talked, so i guess I have inside knowledge”

Pidge nodded, her voice definitely quieter than her normal perky tone

“I’m glad he didn’t hear me. He still likes us right? I mean, he was talking to us, so we’re still friends?”

“He missed you guys. Honestly, he’s the one who thought one day you might talk to me again... I just thought... we’d never be friends again. I get it. If this is all like too weird. You can walk away... I’m like... really fucking weird”

Friends like family... but his siblings hadn’t handled him well at all

“You’re also proof vampires exist... and I’m still getting used to it. Maybe no sleep overs just yet?”

Because they didn’t trust be alone near him. Ugh. That hurt worse than his shoulder. He was getting teary now. This own feelings of abandonment deciding to be stupid

“That’s fine. I do get it. As long as you guys are safe, that’s all I care about. I feel super rude, but I might head down to my room and nap off the pain. Will you guys be alright getting home?”

“Yeah. You’re totally rude, but you’re going to message us later so it’s fine. We did... we did miss you. I just... it’s still a lot”

“Pidgeon, I promise I get it. Hunk, sunshine of my life, I’ll be talking to you later. Uh... nice to meet you Krolia, and I’ll see you later Coran. Curtis... don’t think I won’t forget to forget you dumping me”

Lance felt less than adult like as he left the conference room. He was pulling a Keith, feeling too emotionally compromised so removing himself from the situation. He could tell himself he wasn’t like this, but that’d be lying. He was always like this, always destined to feel on the outside.

[theazkapack]

The Call of Strangers

As the newcomers slowly adjust to the new pack life, and try to tackle on their responsabilities; Ashlen patrols the borders incrisingly worried. Against their wishes, it appears something is coming towards the Azka territory.

-----------------------

Ashlen stared down the two sleeping brothers in the cave, waiting impatiently for them to get up. The sun was high in the sky, it’s gentle rays slowly melting the snow that was still left in the mountains.

Ashlen had woken up a while ago, and had already patrolled through all of their territory, bringing some small prey they had found so everyone could eat. They are supposed to take Shivo out to teach him how to bring down big prey today, but the wolf had been proven very hard to drive out of the cave, not wanting to leave their comfortable position.

Irritated, Ashlen left the brother’s cave and looked out into the valley below, wondering how to get Shivo out. It’s been already two full Moons since Shivo and Lannel joined, and Ashlen needed to desesperatly teach how to hunt big game and not die in the process, since Shivo was... At best, decent in managing to bring back quails. The small pack wouldn’t be able to survive on rats and small birds for long.

Small steps distracted them, and Ashlen looked up to see Glawn returning to their den, her fur dripping water and a fish in her mouth.

“They still haven’t woken up?” Glawn asked, shaking her fur and trying to get most of the water out of it.

“Yes. They seem adamant in sleeping” Ashlen sighed,looking too stressed for how early in the morning it was.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get them out” Quickly turning, Glawn entered the cave. Ashlen gave her 5 seconds before someone yelled.

...Huh, less than five seconds.

---------------

The two wolves walked down the rocky path, descending slowly from rock onto another rock, taking care to not slip, following the river down onto the grasslands.

Glawn jumped quickly and graceful, seemingly at ease in the difficult path, ever doubting where to walk. Lagging behind her was Lannel, practically strolling as he tried to watch everything, seemingly enamoured with the ambient.

“Come on, hurry up, the idea is to get down before night arrives!” Glawn called brightly, wagging her tail when seeing the other wolf kind of struggle with the rocks. “Be grateful it wasn’t raining during the night, otherwise you would have long slipped into the river!”

“Har har, very funny” Lannel muttered, huffing as he finally reached the small clearing the gold colored wolf was in. Tired, he went to the shore of the river and took a drink, wishing he was already back on the den.

Although Lannel liked helping Glawn scout, it was exhausting and he only wanted to to crawl back into his cool bed and sleep away the day. The heat only worked to make him more irritable, the sun hitting harshly against him, leaving him panting quickly in seconds whenever he dared to leave the protecting shade of the trees.

“Why are we even going to the grasslands anyways? The mountains are a good place and it’s not like there is anything interesting there” He was whining, but at this point he was too irritated to care. He eyed the river and after a few seconds of deliberating, he jumped in, sighing in relief as the cold water abated the cursed heat.

“For the same reason we are now scouting together instead of going separate ways like before”

...Oh.

"You... You don’t truly think that another pack would challenge us for our territory, right?” Lannel asked hesitently, sitting down in the shore of the river and looking worried at Glawn.

“I don’t know... But Ashlen said they wanted to have options, just in case” Sighing, the gold colored wolf wished that this wasn’t happening. That she were back on her home, with her siblings and waiting for the humans to bring their food. But the past is the past, and although Glawn misses her old home dearly, she wouldn’t give it up if it meant leaving her new pack behind.

“But even if the pack I smelt nearby tried to attack us, Ashlen would beat them, right?! Ashlen is like, invincible!” He exclaimed.

“I don’t know Lannel, while Ashlen surely is a good fighter well... I don’t know how well they would fare against a big pack”

“We could help fight!”

“Lannel, pal, I’m not trying to bring the mood down but we both barely know how to bite something. Your brother is the best than us, and he still gets hurt whenever he tries hunting something bigger than a quail”  Glawn sighed and stood up “Come on, if we are fast we may yet arrive before the Moon rises”

Groaning, Lannel stood up and started following her behind. What he would give to be Shivo right now, his brother must be already back fro hunting, resting peacefully in the shade of their den.

----------------

“Ashlen wait it hurts!” Shivo yelped, trying to get away from the dark wolf, holding awkardly his paw.

Rolling their eyes, Ashlen continued applying the leaves onto the other’s injury, ignoring the whining as they tried their best to cover correctly the bleeding wound.

Once they were satisfied, they relented and stood back, burying back the leaves that were left over. Going back, they snapped their teeth at Shivo, who flinched back and let his paw in peace, from where he was going to lick it. The leader stared down the other, until Shivo whined and laid down, pouting.

“Okay I get it! I get it! Not licking the weird leaves until you say so” Laying down his head on his paws, Shivo sighed, closing his eyes as Ashlen circled around him, trying to see if he had any other injury “I swear that was the last one! Come on, I’m fine already”

Ashlen barked a laugh at that, but left the wolf alone as the leader stood back and went to retrieve the prey Shivo had managed to get back to the den. Carrying the bloody porcupine and leaving it buried underneath some leaves at the shade with the other food they had so far, Ashlen grabbed a rabbit and brought it back to the other, leaving the small morsel in front of him.

“I’m not hungry Ashlen, leave it for later” Ashlen told him something, but as always, Shivo just stared dumbly at the leader, still not managing to understand a single word of the other. After some time Ashlen rolled their eyes again and nudged him, until, huffing, Shivo started eating.

Looking satisfied, Ashlen nodded and nudged him one last time before turning and stretching.

“You going out again?” At the sharp nod of them, Shivo sighed and nodded “Oh wait! I forgot to tell you before, but when I was searching for the porcupine I found some tracks nearby the lake”

At the startled reacting of Ashlen, Shivo laughed and nodded “My exact reaction! It was nearby the lower lake, the one that connects to the river that leads towards the forest, you know the one with the big sharp trees?”

Looking grimly, Ashlen nodded again and turned around, starting the trek down. Shivo called after them, telling them to be careful. A laughing bark was the only answer he got before his leader disappeared down the mountain.

Yawning, Shivo blinked and grimaced. Just their luck, to find tracks of a big pack nearby when they were just settling in.

Oh well, he thought as he accomodated and closed his eyes to sleep, nothing more to do other than wait. He believed in Asheln, the leader was smart and he didn’t doubt the other had a plan for this.

No matter what, Shivo was sure they would manage to survive.

---------------------------------------

Sniffing around, Ashlen frowned deeply, staring at the old tracks that lead from the lake towards the forest. The tracks were at least a few suns old, and from what they could smell, clearly family.

Looking around, Ashlen found small bundles of bright golden fur around the edges, a clear signal from the strange wolves. Growling, Ashlen circled around the shore of the lake, upset at the clear trespassing in their territory. Sighing, they started following the tracks, taking care of where they stepped, not wanting to alert any stranger in case they were nearby.

Soon they arrived towards a small river, losing the scent of the strange pack. They saw deep scratches in the dirt and nearby trees, and a quick look told him how the other wolves probably encountered another predator here. Coming closer to the tree Ashlen grimaced, sneezing as they accidentally inhaled hair, yeah the other pack probably encountered a bear around here.

From the signs of the fight, Ashlen could deduce the pack had ran away after a brief fight. They probably were weak, which brought a lot of relief to Ashlen, if they were weak then they probably wouldn’t come back. A quick glance towards where the forest started again confirmed it, blood leading away into the deep of the trees. They most definitively didn’t escape uninjured.

Satisfied, Ashlen turned around and went back to their territory, using the opportunity to patrol the border once again, making sure to reaffirm their scent and clearly delimiting the border of their pack again, to try to scare away the other pack if it came back. Ashlen hadn’t mentioned it to the others, but every day they had started to found more and more trails of the strange wolves, seemingly progressing more and more into their territory.

Ashlen didn’t want to worry the others too much, but they were fairly nervous about this situation. While their companions didn’t understand it clearly, probably since they were raised by humans, Ashlen knew that wolves wouldn’t thread on another wolf’s territory unless they were willing to fight for it. And they were only willing to fight if the wolves were secure in the knowledge they would win the fight.

Ashlen’s pack was weak, all of their members young and inexperienced in the majority. Ashlen really, really didn’t want a confrontation; but as the days dragged in, it became more clear that the possibility was inevitable. Ashlen wasn’t willing to give up without a fight, having grown fond of the mountains they lived in, but they were scared. They are the most apt member of the pack to fight, and they doubted they could take an entire wolf pack on alone. The other pack easily surpassed them on numbers, the tracks too many to belongs to only two wolves.

Sighing, Ashlen turned and started the journey back into their den, the silent Moon already rising high into the sky, determined to get back and check back again on Shivo to see if his injuries were better now.

May the Moon help us, they thought bitterly, I won’t lose the home I just found.

[yadds]

Tony Reappears, Pt 5 - Tony gains a new confidant in the form of one Peter Parker, Pepper tries to understand.

Part 1 - what would happen if Tony appeared out of nowhere to be found by Peter, who’s still haunted by Beck’s reality bending? Part 2 - Tony is in bad shape and Peter helps, Strange snarks, and Pepper gives him the kick in the pants he needs. Part 3 - Tony has come back with more than he bargained for. Part 4: Tony is Iron Man. Plus, Tony gets to go home.

____________________________________________________________________

It was a Wednesday night and Tony was trying desperately to find a distraction. 

He’d hit a block in his control design and was spiraling, down, down into the depths of his bitterness and guilt. He couldn’t focus on anything, head jerking up periodically as he drifted in and out of consciousness while sitting at his work table. He also couldn’t stand the thought of actually trying to sleep in this mindset. 

He flung his schematic holos away, growling in frustration as he dropped his head into his hands. His eyes cut to the side to check the time. 12:15 AM. Too late to call and pester reasonable people. He sighed. 

But wait. Maybe not too late for a college student. 

“Fri, call-“ he cut himself off. No. What if Peter has a big exam in the morning and had just gotten to sleep? Or what if he was out actually enjoying his life? It’s not like he was just sitting around his dorm waiting for Tony to call. 

“Who would you like me to call, boss?” Friday asked. 

“Never mind, sweetheart. I just saw the time,” he fibbed, ”I don’t think anyone is up for a call from me right now.”

“Peter is currently taking a break from patrolling,” Friday dutifully reported. Talk about an intuitive AI. 

Tony arched a brow. “Is he now? And how do you know that?”

“Karen told me,” she replied. Right, they were basically connected at the metaphorical hip now. 

He mulled this information over for a minute before he bit the bullet. “Okay, old girl. Call him up,” he called, leaning back in his chair and steepling his hands over his chest. 

He was weirdly nervous as he listened to the phone ring. 

His heart was racing by the time Peter answered with a breathless, “Hello?”

Tony’s mouth opened but nothing came out, suddenly speechless. What was he even supposed to say? I was feeling mopey so I called someone half my age to cheer me up? What the fuck was wrong with him? 

“Mr. Stark?” Peter questioned as the silence drug on. “Shit, did I hang up on you? Damn it, Karen, I thought we’d fixed that! Ughhhhh why am I this way? Well we’d better call him back before-”

Tony chuckled, nerves evaporating as his chest filled with amused affection. “No need, kid, I’m here.”

“Oh, great! Except for the fact that you definitely just heard me rambling like an idiot. Am I talking fast? I feel like I’m talking really fast.”

“Definitely fast. You good? I thought you were patrolling - you’re not doing that high are you? Don’t make me lecture you about stupid choices,” he warned teasingly. 

“No, of course not! I’ve just been slinging around a lot, which gets my blood pumping and gets me kinda hyped up, you know?” 

Tony nodded. “Ah, to be young and enjoy life just for the hell of it,” he said sagely. 

“Don’t you get that feeling too? I mean, come on, you can fly!” Peter asked, huffing as Tony heard him sit down heavily. 

“I guess I used to,” Tony said thoughtfully. “It’s been a long time since I’ve done it just for kicks, though.”

“Well you should!” Peter insisted. 

Tony was quiet for a moment as he thought about it, remembering the thrill of flight the first time in his Mark II. But the idea of getting back in the suit made his chest sieze. He drew in a sharp breath before gathering himself enough to respond quietly, “I don’t know if I can.”

Peter hummed. “Yeah, I get that,” he said softly. “It took me a while, too. I always had flashbacks of...well, you know. And panic attacks. But it got better,” he offered. 

Tony felt that knot in his chest loosen just slightly. It didn’t make it all better, but it did help, knowing someone else understood what he was going through and could validate it. He appreciated how Peter was so casual about it - he obviously took it seriously but it was also something totally normal and okay. But he’d known for years that Peter is much stronger than he is, and not just physically. 

“Maybe,” Tony replied hesitantly, not quite as optimistic about his own mental health improvement capability. He’d been in some pretty tough spots before and come back, but this was the first time he’d died.  But so had Peter and half the rest of the world, so apparently that wasn’t even particularly noteworthy.

“So, anything exciting tonight, Spiderling?” Tony asked.

Peter graciously allowed the subject change, rambling happily about stopping a mugger, walking a girl to her car who was leaving work late, playing catch with a couple kids in the park.  It was amazingly relaxing, listening to Peter recounting his night, voice animated in a way that indicated wild gesticulation on the other end of the line.

It made his throat a little thick, remembering how fucking wholesome this kid was.  This was the first time he’d gotten to hear this again since...before Titan, almost ten years ago.  He was suddenly grateful to himself for making it possible to reverse the snap, in a way he hadn’t been able to truly appreciate until this very moment.  

He realized Peter had paused, the quiet stretching before he questioned softly, “Mr. Stark?  You okay?”

Tony cleared his throat.  “Yeah, ‘course.  Keep telling me about the- the, uh, search for the best slice of pizza in Manhattan; I’m dying to know, here.”

After another hesitation, Peter continued, detailing all the places he’d visited in the past few weeks. 

Tony leaned back, closed his eyes, and smiled. 

.

A week later found Tony standing in front of one of his suits that had made it back to the lab, kept all this time, he assumed, for sentimental reasons. 

He reached out but recoiled before he could make contact, breath catching. 

Shaking his head to clear it, he turned quickly and went back to his work table. 

.

They had a schedule now. Tony spent the weekends at the cabin with the girls and occasionally picked up Morgan in the evenings after school for a few hours. 

He’d finished his control protocols (now named FEMA because he was his own natural disaster), which used subdermal chips to monitor his vitals and would deploy nanites from the wristbands he now wore to restrain him in the instance of nighttime adrenaline spikes - an unfortunately common occurrence, as he was plagued by nightmares. The restraints didn’t particularly help with the nightmare situation, but they were a necessity. 

He’d start out in bed with Pepper, but when she fell asleep, he felt the panic settle gradually over him until his chest felt concave with the pressure of it, breath coming shorter and shorter. So he’d roll out of bed and go down to the crude lab he had out there, usually tinkering with cars and blasting music loud enough that he’d hopefully drown out that inner voice whispering soft, hateful self-incriminations.

He’d quickly discovered that alcohol no longer had any effect on him. He also discovered, in a fit of desperation, that neither did drugs. So his faithful old friends had deserted him when he needed them the most. 

So he was trying so-called “healthy coping mechanisms” now, like hard work and spending time with loved ones. Which was great, but Tony’s issues were gargantuan and he was an addict at heart; he craved any release like a starving man craved food (which he was actually quite familiar with, so he knew it was apt). He knew this, knew he came on way too strong, too needy, and was just...too much. In his attempts to not smother his people, he found himself becoming withdrawn and distant, tormented by the certainty that he’d drive them away with his clingy dependence. 

Tony was terrified Pepper would remember just how inadequate he’d always been, how much his love for her, his money, his intelligence never overcame his inability to give her what she needed.  He knew she still talked to Tom, and he’d never ask her to completely cut him out of her life, but it didn’t help his insecurities.  He would see Pepper’s jaw clench or her eyes dart away and he’d find a way to quickly shut up and make himself scarce.

Happy would check his watch and Tony would suddenly recall an important task running in the lab he needed to check on. 

Morgan, his sweet angel, would gladly hang off him until the end of time, but he knew she needed to get back to having a normal life. Well, as normal as life gets when you have a family of billionaires and superheroes. 

And he also didn’t want her to see behind the curtain, to see what a weak man her father really was. 

Rhodey came by when he could, but he was kept busy with his duties in DC and a new wife. Tony had done enough to damage Rhodey’s career and relationships in the past. He didn’t need to add his newest level of instability onto his friend like that. 

And Peter. He never seemed annoyed by Tony’s random check-ins but also didn’t have a problem telling him when he was busy, which actually did more to allay Tony’s worries about being a nuisance than anything. Tony never found any indications from Peter that he should pull back. But he did anyway. Because, well, Peter was a goddamn blessing to the world. And if Tony could, he’d bottle him up and keep him all for himself. 

So, anyway, “healthy” was...probably still not an accurate term for his coping mechanisms, shoddy as they were. But at least he wasn’t poisoning his body into an early grave. Again. Ha-fucking-ha. 

.

“Mr. Stark?” Peter questioned one night. 

“Yeah, kid?” Tony replied easily, distracted by the circuit board he was soldering while they talked. 

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked. 

Tony’s brows snapped down and he automatically looked up at the screen in front of him despite the fact that this was an audio call, which was frustrating since he’d really like to see Peter’s face to see if he could tell what had brought on this madness. 

“What?” He wracked his brain, trying to figure out what the hell he’d done now that made Peter feel like he’d done something wrong. He hissed as the soldering iron pressed heavily into his finger. He finally set the tool down and looked down to see the circuit board he’d been working on was ruined now. Not surprising. 

“What?” he said again. “Of course not. I mean not as far as I know. What the hell are you talking about?”

Peter’s heavy sigh echoed through the lab. “I dunno, just thought maybe I’d pissed you off or done something to annoy you,” he said, too casually.  Tony could perfectly imagine the shrug and eye aversion that would go with that statement.

“What?” Tony intoned again.  He knew he sounded like a broken record but seriously, what?  “Not at all, kid.  I mean, not more than normal.  Which was a joke, sorry, I can’t help myself.  In all seriousness though, I’m not upset at you.  Why would you even think that?”

“Okay, sorry, it’s nothing.  Anyway-” Peter said quickly, trying to change the subject.

“No, no, no,” Tony interrupted.  “Nuh uh.  Circle back around here.  I’m not letting this one go.  I need to know what I’m doing that’s making you feel like that so that I can fix it.”

“No!  You’re not doing anything wrong, Mr. Stark,” Peter insisted.

“Well, obviously I am.  Just tell me what’s going on, kid,” Tony coaxed.

After a brief hesitation, Peter took a deep breath before responding.  “You’ve just been kind of...distant, I guess.  I felt like we’d been getting along so well when I was visiting and we were talking on the phone more and it was like we were...friends, you know?  And it just seemed like lately you haven’t been as engaged and you’ve been calling less.  But I know you’re super busy and you’ve got a lot going on and more important people to hang out with, so I’m sorry, I’m just being overly sensitive.”

Tony’s elbows fell down onto the table in front of him, hands cradling his head.  Of fucking course.  His idea to help spare the kid had just ended up hurting him.  And how was he supposed to explain this without sounding as fucked up as he actually was?

“Mr. Stark?” Peter pressed softly.

“Yeah kid, still here.  Just...give me just a minute, okay?” he replied wearily.

Tony listened to Peter’s soft breaths, the rustling of the wind, the NYC traffic far in the background over the line.  

“Pete, I - fuck, I don’t know really know what to say,” he said, unable to come up with one of his usual lines.  “Just know that it is definitely not your fault.  I’m not tired of you or upset at you or any other bullshit you’re coming up with in that head of yours.  And I don’t know what ‘more important’ people you think I’m hanging out with, but that’s definitely not the case either.  I mean, hell, I think only maybe ten people are even aware I’m alive.  But regardless, even if I had every single person on the planet at my disposal, you would still be one of the most important people to me.  So don’t sell yourself so short.”

He heard Peter’s breath hitch slightly before he cleared his throat.  “Oh.  Well, okay.  And, uh, same.  Just so you know.”

Tony’s lips twitched in a tired smile.  Despite the awkwardness of it, he knew Peter was ridiculous sincere about it.  “And hey, you can always call me, too - stop making me do all the work.”

“Okay,” Peter said.  “I just don’t want to bother you.  Between trying to get your family back together and figure out your new body, I know you’ve got a lot on your plate, so I don’t want to be a nuisance.”

“Never,” Tony replied immediately.  “Nah, kid, you’re not a nuisance.  I like hearing from you.  And honestly, you’re probably my best source for figuring out the physical craziness and I’m not utilizing you near enough for that.”

Peter hummed.  “Okay, well just promise to let me know if you’re busy or if I’m getting to be too much.”

“Same,” Tony responded, echoing Peter’s earlier statement.

As Peter huffed a laugh, Tony felt confident enough that had been handled as much as it needed to be and launched into an explanation of his current project.  

Thank God, because the moment of touchy-feely honesty was surely going to start making his skin crawl. 

.

It became a thing: Tony calling when he was stressed and couldn’t sleep, Peter calling frustrated about classes, and everything in between.  Peter realized that Tony was basically under house arrest so he’d send him pictures of random things he saw on the street - a cute dog, a weird sign, his lunch for the day, a crazy outfit someone was wearing.

More and more often, Pepper would come downstairs looking for Tony when he left their bed on the weekends to find him lounging in the lab, laughing as he talked to Peter in the middle of the night.

At first, he’d see her come in and nod and she’d smile back, relieved to see him happy and connecting with someone else.

Tonight, she was not smiling.  Tony noticed her jaw clenched and eyes shuttered when he glanced at her and he frowned.

“Hey, Pete, I’m gonna have to cut this short, okay?  We’ll talk later,” Tony cut in.

“Oh,” Peter said dumbly.  “Uh, yeah, sure, no problem.  Good night Mr. Stark!”

“Night, kid,” Tony replied before promptly hanging up.

“What’s wrong, Pep?” Tony asked, turning and giving her his full attention.  

She stood in front of him, arms crossed and fingers tapping agitatedly on her opposite elbow as she battled with whether to say what she really wanted.  Tony was quiet as he waited for her to decide.

“I’m trying to be understanding, Tony,” Pepper finally said.  “I am.  But are you ever going to be able to sleep in the same bed as me or is this going to be how it is for the rest of our lives?”

“Honestly?  I have no idea.  As long as I feel like you or Morgan are in danger then the answer is no.”

“Isn’t that what the FEMA protocol is for?” she asked.

“Yes, but it’s one thing to have it work in a test situation and another thing completely to trust it with your life.  And I don’t.  Do you think I don’t want to be able to sleep next to you?” Tony said, frustrated.

“Some days I feel like I really don’t know.  You seem perfectly content to come down here and talk to Peter every night,” she said.

“Is that a problem?” Tony asked, brows furrowed.  “Me talking to Peter?”

“No.  Yes.  I don’t know,” Pepper said, sighing, hand coming up to cover her face.  “I just feel like you’re able to talk to him in a way we haven’t been able to manage and I’m...jealous,” she admitted.  “And yes, I know how incredibly childish and stupid this sounds.”

“Hey,” Tony said softly, standing up and coming to grab her by the elbows and pull her close.  “No, it’s not stupid at all.  I get it.  Mine and Peter’s relationship is easier than ours, and it’s not fair.  But it’s because we have a simpler relationship - we’re not trying to juggle a romantic relationship, a parenting relationship, and a potential working relationship in addition to our friendship.”

“But it’s not just that,” Pepper said, looking up at him.  “You talk to him in a way you don’t talk to me.  And I never see you laugh like that with me - it’s like you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Tony dropped his gaze, pulling back slightly.  “I guess I also don’t feel like I have as much to lose with Peter.”

“Because he doesn’t mean as much to you or because you think he’s a sure thing and I’m not?” Pepper asked bluntly.

He pulled back another step, sighing as he ran his hand through his hair.  “I wouldn’t say Peter necessarily means less to me. Of course he doesn’t mean more than you, he’s just important to me in a different way - like how you and Morgan and Happy are all important to me in different ways.”

“And?”

Tony didn’t want to answer the second part of that question.  But Pepper was staring expectently at him, no out in sight.  “What do you want me to say, Pepper?” he asked wearily.

“I want you to tell me why you always act like you’ve got one foot out the door.”

Tony grit his teeth before replying.  “Because I know I’m gonna fuck this up and I still don’t really know where I stand with you.  So instead of bumbling my way through it, it just seems...I don’t know, safer, I guess, to just be ready for it all to explode in my face so I’m prepared for the inevitable end.”

“You’re being a coward,” Pepper said harshly, eyes filmy and lower lip trembling.  

Tony recoiled, eyes hurt and wary, but didn’t deny it. “You’re right,” he admitted softly. “But can you honestly tell me that you’re not waiting for the same thing, Pep?”

She immediately started shaking her head. “No, of course I’m not! I…” but she trailed off. 

“I see it,” Tony cut in before she could gather herself.  “I see how you’re always waiting for me to disappoint, bracing yourself for how to deal with it and make this work. I’ve always admired your problem-solving abilities, honey, but this shouldn’t have to be something that you grit your teeth and push through just to get it done. I don’t want to be another chore.”

Pepper shut her eyes tight, brow scrunched in pain briefly before she opened them again. She sniffled quietly, a tear tracking slowly down her left cheek as the rest of her face remained stoic.

As the silence drew out, she sighed, shoulders slumping. “Maybe that’s true. And I’m sorry for making you feel that way.”

Tony shrugged in response, scuffing his foot across the floor. 

“But I still want to work on this, on us,” she said. 

“Me too, honey,” Tony murmured, stepping back into her space. 

Pepper smiled tremulously, reaching out and twining her fingers behind his neck. “So come to bed,” she coaxed. 

Tony stiffened, shaking his head. But as he opened his mouth, she put her finger to his lips, smile turning coy. “Beds aren’t just for sleeping, Tony.”

Eyes widening, Tony blinked helplessly for several seconds before gathering her in his arms and bolting for the main house, Pepper screeching in laughter on the way.

.

It was wonderful. 

The closeness, the intimacy, was everything he’d craved, miles of warm, smooth skin against his own. He trembled violently, overwhelmed, skin soaking up the contact it had been deprived of for so, so long.

It was beautiful. 

His hands glided over every inch of her, worshiping her body until she’d pulled him back up impatiently. He sank into her, warmth that permeated through him, down to his bones. 

It was earth-shattering. 

As she came apart beneath him and he reached his peak, he felt his blood surge, hands flying to the headboard to brace himself. Groaning deeply, his hips jolted forward and the headboard exploded in his grip. 

It was terrible. 

Chest heaving, he looked down and froze, seeing her wide eyes staring up at him, splintered shards of wood in her hair. He scrambled backwards, all that glorious warmth turned to ice in his veins. Despite her rushed assurances, he stumbled out of the room. 

It was never happening again.

____________________________________________________________________

So I ended up having to split up this update.  Because I seem to have a major problem with not having an ending that’s depressing.  

I’ve got a pretty good chunk of the next part written (look forward to Peter visiting Tony but everything still being frustratingly sweet and platonic, and a brief return mention of badass/scary!Peter) so hopefully the delay between updates will be shorter buuuuut no guarantees.  Kids, y’all, they are a major time and energy suck - but they’re worth it because I love them :)

taglist: @marvelobsessedrat, @dim-ships-johnlock, @starkerstories @t1of3 @consciencecoward @peachbabytarte

[sethrine-writes]

Smile, Light of the World

Fandom:  Devil May Cry 5

Pairing:  V x Reader

Words:  2335

Warnings:  Mild sexual tension, Mildly suggestive

Commission Request:  900 words, set within their fic’s universe, some sexual tension between V and the Reader that is built up without touch until the very end, where a small gesture unravels the tension into a tasteful fade-to-black.

A/N:  This was a commission by the positively lovely @fivetail/@one-equal-temper It was such a delight to delve into the world of One Equal Temper! Thank you so very much for commissioning me! As you can see, I got carried away in the best of ways.

------

Thankfully, the day was clear and bright with the sun’s rays beating down upon the ruined, upturned city that was Redgrave. It was a beautiful early afternoon to what might as well have been considered the tail-end start to the end of the world, but a beautiful day, nonetheless.

Already, the plants on your balcony were looking a bit perkier than normal. With the days tending to be on the dreary end, courtesy of the massive demon tree growing toward the sky some distance away, you were beginning to worry over a few that really needed the sunlight. By whatever graces above, perhaps a farce of luck from below, they were getting exactly that, thriving through the impending-apocalyptic state of the city you called home.

The thought of it had you grinning as you carefully snipped away a few dead leaves from some of the smaller greenery. All those tall plants were greedy little things, soaking up the most light – you would have to move some things around to ensure they all had a chance to flourish in the warmth of the day.

“There is a Smile of Love, and there is a Smile of Deceit-”

You paused in your pruning, turning from your crouched position to find V leaning against the opened balcony door, eyes roving the page of his poetry book as he held it before him.

“-And there is a Smile of Smiles, in which these two Smiles meet.”

“I don’t think I’ve heard you recite that one, before,” you spoke almost wistfully. V’s voice had a way of making you feel like that when he read to you, spoke to you, wistful and longing and soothed to the very soul.

“The moment felt adequate,” he mused, eyes continuing where he left off from the poem. He must have been keen on just saying those few lines, and that was fine. He had a tendency of doing that, and whatever words were said usually had some sort of significance to them.

It was a rather sweet gesture that he let you in on his inner thoughts through those very poems he so loved; at least, you assumed it was.

What did he mean by those particular words, exactly?

“So, which one is mine?”

Your question must have caught the mysterious man off-guard, because he looked a tad on the surprised side at your inquiry, nearly confused.

“Which one is your…?”

“My smile,” you iterated, “which one is it? Loving, deceitful, maybe somewhere in the middle? Maybe it’s none of those. Huh, never really thought about it, until now.”

You watched V’s expression change to that of thoughtfulness, and you wondered briefly if he hadn’t quite thought of it, either. No, that didn’t seem right – V wouldn’t have recited such an obvious thing that eluded to something more if he didn’t have any intent behind it. It may have been presumptuous of you to think he was referring to your smile, in general.

The question, then, was why had he said anything, to begin with?

The prompt snap of V’s book had you almost jumping out of your own thoughts. He was smiling, plush lips lilting to one side and green eyes holding the twinkle of something you couldn’t quite place, like a little secret, one you were privy to, but hadn’t realized you knew of, yet.

“Perhaps that is a question better answered another time.”

He held your gaze for a moment longer, and the contact felt exposing, electrifying. You waited until he finally turned away to let out a semi-shaky breath, blinking a few times to compose yourself.

That was…that was definitely strange, but in a good way.

The sun was getting a tad too warm against your neck and your face, you decided, and the ache in your head was becoming more pronounced. It was time to go inside.

It was an apt excuse to the warmth in your cheeks, at least.

---

Something had changed during that bright, sunny day, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on, not at first.

Whatever it was, it was subtle, if not maddening.

V still went out during the day, doing his best to rid the surrounding area of any lingering demons while venturing further to eliminate what he could. He would come back, always a bit haggard, casting a lingering, lilting smile your way as Griffon squawked his praises and tribulations of the day and pestered you for the hell of it, if not just to get a rise out of you. Shadow would come out to soothe you, sometimes even growling out at Griffon for being too wordy, hilariously enough, and then you would head to bed with a little wave and a small smile, only to start the day over again come morning.

It was the same routine, but things had shifted. The dynamic between you and V had changed yet again to something just a bit more.

And neither of you were acting on it.

Not only was it excruciating, but it was also damn near driving you crazy. You were both playing by rules you didn’t even know had been set out. Nothing was necessarily different, but it was, and the tension between you both would drive even the most mundane of fools insane, you were sure of it.

For some reason, one of the unwritten, unspoken rules was to avoid physical contact. Not even a tap of fingers, and it was something you didn’t even realize was a thing until you very nearly dropped V’s mug of hot chocolate as you passed it to him at even the promise of a lingering touch.

The motion hadn’t gone unnoticed, nor had V made any inclination that he would broach the subject of whatever it was that was happening.

How utterly maddening, indeed.

In an effort to ease your tremulous thoughts one evening, you had taken to fiddling with the hospital band around your wrist, having already read your personal information on it over and over again. Surely, you were doomed to read it a few hundred times more, especially with the odd way you were feeling at that moment, fidgety and all too aware of the closeness between you and V.

He had taken it upon himself to rest right beside you on the couch that evening, the day’s events having worn him out more than usual. You hadn’t moved, lest you accidentally woke him, and found yourself gazing about and losing yourself in thought for all of barely half an hour. He had woken up from his rather brief nap some time ago, gracing you with yet another small smile, then promptly pulled out his book of poems to read over idly in the quiet.

V didn’t seem at all interested or even worried by your close proximity to him, neither commenting on the matter nor moving away. In fact, when you attempted to move, he simply stopped you with that soothing voice of his, looking up from his book to fix you with an intense, imploring stare.

“I rather enjoy the company, if you don’t mind indulging me,” he admitted quietly, and you were damned if you didn’t feel that admittance in your very heart.

So you stayed upon the couch as he read in the quiet of the room, nothing but the sound of the wind picking up outside from time to time as well as the beat of your heart pounding away in your eardrums and very nearly causing an uncomfortable headache, in the process. He didn’t seem at all concerned with your fidgeting fingers, either, or the light smack of your lips as you attempted to ignore the small distance between you, but unable to figure out exactly what to do with yourself besides remaining in his company, as if doing so satisfied both you and him equally.

It did, but it wasn’t something you were willing to dwell on for long.

“Geez, kid, you look wrung out! Didn’t take you for the kind to be on that crazy stuff, but, y’know, end of the line, and all that.”

Griffon’s voice had startled you something fierce, not having expected the avian demon to appear like that upon the pushed back coffee table. You jumped, feeling your heart nearly skip a beat as your hand pushed down hard beside you, fingers just grazing smooth leather-

“I’ll be right back,” you all but said in a rush as you nearly flew upward in your attempt to stand, nearly tripping yourself in your haste to move away, at least far enough where you couldn’t feel the tension as strongly.

You could hear Griffon making a ruckus about having said the wrong thing for all of a moment before the apartment was quiet again. You waited out a few minutes in the bedroom, taking in deep breaths and attempting to will your heart back into a semi-steady rhythm.

Something was there, but neither of you had been willing to breach the pull, to break the tension that seemed to hold you both suspended in…something or other. At the rate you were going, the tension was going to kill you.

It made you nervous, not knowing what to expect. It made you want to make whatever was being left out in the open happen, just to rid yourself of the anxious feeling and finally get somewhere.

When you turned to move back into the living room, you very nearly ran right into V, barely avoiding colliding against his towering form with a sharp gasp.

In the dim, fading light of the sunset through the bedroom window, his expression almost looked worried.

“I’m okay,” you murmured, but even your quiet words sounded far too loud in the silence that surrounded you.

You made to take a step back, but V followed you with his own step forward, and you were suddenly even closer to the man than you were before. You could very nearly feel the heat that emanated from his form, comforting as it was tempting, devastatingly so.

Whatever concern had been within his gaze had disappeared with the shift in the atmosphere, and once more, you were being suffocated in the cloying energy that had created tension between you several days ago. Speaking was out of the question; you were barely able to keep your breathing in check, let alone question exactly what was happening, if what was happening was even allowed, at that point.

V raised his hand slowly, allowing you to track the movement with your own eyes. The glint of silver against his skin caught your attention, the elongated ring that adorned him and made his long fingers look even more elegant by proxy glinting in the fading light. You followed the glossy metal’s closeness until you could no longer see it as his hand passed your face, nearly out of sight of your peripheral.

The tickling sensation of barely-there fingertips against your jawline was a startling, liberating feeling.

V was walking a thin line, apparently, teetering on the edge of breaking the tension that was coming to a head right at that moment. He was playing coy, perhaps under the pretense of not wanting to spook you away, after all that build-up.

That was what you wanted, wasn’t it, though? You wanted the tension to stop, for whatever silly game you were both playing to just end so you could finally breathe in his presence without feeling like your heart was ready to jump out of your throat.

Was it possible that, given the moment, given his current actions, he felt the same way?

You reached out hesitantly towards him, fingers brushing against what felt like thin strings, though you were unable to look away from V’s intense gaze to rightfully say so. You tugged, regardless, and felt the leathery, twine-like string loosen with the motion until the small knotted bow had been effectively unraveled.

V made no move to stop you. You were in no mood to stop.

With slow, careful movements, your fingers unraveled the string corseting V’s coat together, the dark leather coming apart in slow increments until there was nothing hindering you from parting the material and revealing the inked skin of his abdomen to the slight coolness of the room.

There was hesitation in your next move, as it was new territory, a line in the sand you had yet to cross with V. Any worries were quickly being deemed unnecessary by the way V was looking at you, intense and eager for whatever lay ahead.

You inhaled sharply at the feeling of his skin against your palm but a moment later, and the quiet groan of satisfaction that parted his lips was downright sinful.

The following kiss was expected, a natural progression to the tension finally snapping. Even so, you weren’t sure who had succumbed first to the need to be close, closer, closer still, bodies pressing against each other and clumsy hands roaming with quick swipes and rougher-than-necessary squeezes before easing into soothing caresses that spanned limbs and torsos and faces.

When you finally pulled away for air, you were laughing, breathless and delirious on the high that was V.

“Are you alright, my Starlight?”

V was faring no better, pale face slightly flushed and lips looking even plumper from your brash kisses. It was a look you found you rather liked on him, one you wouldn’t mind seeing again and again, as long as you still had on earth.

You smiled at him, full and sincere.

There was a look in his eyes, the one you noticed from before on that oddly sunny day but only just then recognized, thoughtful and contemplative and heated.

“And no Smile that ever was smild, but only one Smile alone, that betwixt the Cradle & Grave-”

“Shut up, and kiss me again,” you mumbled, stepping up on tiptoes to reach those poetic lips of his. All he could do in that moment was comply, and he did so without preamble.

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 21 [22%]

Between the anxiety and mounting tension of what tomorrow would bring, sleep was barely had. It felt like as soon as you closed your eyes, the alarm was going off and a million more things needed to be attended to. On top of trying to prepare and get through this hearing, you were trying to keep things afloat back at Stark Industries. It was getting tougher every day. With the Expo set to run for the year, it was supposed to have been an easy thing to slide back into meetings and projections and signatures and appearances.

Yet you felt like you were drowning just a little bit more every day. Not helped by… well. This. And the Iron Man thing. But Stark Industries was very much an Iron Man thing now.

Where had you heard something similar…

Happy came with freshly dry cleaned suits for the both of you. You felt like it was smarter to present in front of the Senate and all the news networks as the sharp business woman you were. And that you were becoming, more so every day. You’d had more face-to-face time for the company than Tony may have ever had in his entire life at this point. Which had been your initial job, but now…

Now it felt like you were running a ship without a captain. There was only so much you could do. At the end of the day you needed him. Stark Industries needed him. He seemed to be slowly forgetting that. And it made your life that much harder.

Finishing your hair in a slicked back ponytail and amending the buttons on your jacket, you turned to see Tony downing another bottle of that green stuff. He’d been short with Happy when he’d forgotten it bringing the clothes. His nerves were really frayed, and you tried to not let that get to you, sliding up a wall you didn’t want to be there. You just didn’t have the energy for it right now.

Once finished dressing yourself, you turned to find him struggling. His hands were shaking slightly as he tried to slip his tie over into what should have been an easy knot. Of course there was no way to ignore it, to let him continue to struggle.

Moving over you gently stayed his hands, leading them down, and then set to straightening the fabric of its distressed wrinkles that he’d provoked before working quickly. “You scared of these guys?” It was unlike him, to be this nervous. “No matter what happens today, they’re not getting your property.” You’d fight off the entire United States for him if you had to.

“Running on… what is it now. Five hours of sleep in a week? That’s about average, I think. I’m fine.” He very clearly was not fine, but there’d be no addressing it until the both of you could get home and figure out your actual next steps in life. You’d love to confine Tony to his bedroom for a full day’s worth of sleep. An actual meal. Just let him relax.

But life never seemed to work that way. Even after this you weren’t sure you could let him slip away for that much time, no matter how much it pained you to think of inconveniencing him further. And other than that, you knew once he got home he’d be back to working on Iron Man stuff.

“Sure you are.” Tugging the knot of his tie up to settle it, you then moved on to his pocket square. Both lovely gold pieces with flecks of lavender. Your choosing. “In that case, I’m starting to think you just like it when I dress you.”

“I’d never say no to your hands.” Head tipping down, suggestion clear in his tone.

You just rolled your eyes lovingly. “Mm hmm.” Giving his suit jacket a little tug at the lapels for good measure. “Come on. Let’s get going.”

“Yes, honey.” Slipping his sunglasses on.

Reporters were at the ready the second you stepped off the elevator in the lobby. Happy did a pretty good job of mitigating most of the crowd, but that didn’t stop the onslaught of flash bulbs and loud questions. Screams of Tony’s name.

Several other security guards stood on post as you exited and were led up to the car. People were really charged up about this. Funny how everyone seemed to know it was going on today except you and Tony until last night. Very funny.

It was the same after the very short drive up to the Capitol. Security was much tighter here, and the crowds seemed segregated. To the left, media reporters and every fan girl within a fifty mile radius holding up signs asking to be noticed. To the right, protesters that were pretty sure Iron Man was ruining the country. Despite them being roped off, the things they were shouting and how heavy they were hitting the lines disturbed you. You hoped it was more for show than anything.

The meeting was set to start almost immediately once the two of you entered the building, and you were escorted up to the front table where Tony sat down casually as ever and you sat beside him, pouring yourself a glass of water already. Up on the bench several male senators with several disgruntled faces. The crowd was buzzing with excitement inside the room, sizing down into hushed murmurs as a gavel sounded and the meeting was called to order.

Lots of introductions. Lots of grandiose aisle gesturing. If this was all this hearing was chalked up to be, it would be a piece of cake. Senator Stern was leading the hearing, also no surprise. It was lucky you’d perfected a stoic face by now, otherwise you’d have been rolling your eyes and making exasperated noises the whole time. No one wanted Tony’s demise more than him. This had been a long time coming. And he was only entirely delighted to have him there at his mercy.

You however, were bothering him. That had slipped through to you despite your steel. And that was not good. He was leaking frustration every time you so much as lifted a finger. An hour into nothing- and no room for either of you to speak- you poured Tony a glass of water and that was enough for him.

“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to call for the removal of your secretary from the table.”

“Excuse me?” Making an early mistake by reacting in such a fashion. It was what he wanted and you gave it to him. Clicks of camera flashes went off. You had to remind yourself where you were. Who was watching.

“This is a senate hearing over the nature of the Iron Man weapon. It’s not fitting for you to be sitting there like you have any idea what we’re talking about. You’re not part of this.”

“Hey, if you’re excusing her, can I go, too?” Tony took control, gathering a low chuckle from the seats behind.

“You know very well that you can’t, Mr. Stark, and why you’re here.”

“Do I? All we’ve done for the past fifty minutes is listen to you go on about yourself and your thoughts. We might as well call this a book club for your journal.” As the senator tried to speak up, Tony raised his hand and leaned into the mic. “I just want it on record I did not do the required reading.” Another crowd laugh.

Stern bristled. “Mr. Stark you will keep on task and get your secretary out of here.”

This was likely to go on forever if you didn’t stop the two of them. It was disgusting, though, that you had to let him have this one. If you fought it would be bad for optics. Both the company’s and your own. “If it keeps things moving, I’ll get up.” With that you pushed from your chair only to walk around to sit directly behind Tony.

“There she’s roughly one foot further back from you.”

“Mr. Stark-”

“Wait now I have to ask her something.” Tony turned away to look back at you, coy little grin in place. “Can you see?”

“Maybe if you moved over just a little.” This was not a good time to pretend like you didn’t care about these senators or what they had to say. But you couldn’t help but get caught up in the crowd still laughing at the antics.

Tony slid his chair over a few inches to the right. “Better?”

Stern was starting to yell into his mic. You nodded. “Much.” And then with a wave of your hand, “Go on. Pay attention.”

“Mr. Stark please.”

He sat forward again. “Yes, dear.” This might as well have been a stand-up set with the way Tony was controlling the continual amusement of the crowd.

“Can I have your attention now?” Stern set his hands together, trying to appear calm.

“Absolutely.”

“Do you or do you not have a specialized weapon?” You were glad that you getting off the table finally got this going somewhere. If they’d just started with this maybe you could have been on your way home now.

“I do not.” Sure and simple.

“You do not?”

“I do not. -well, it depends on how you define the word weapon.”

“The Iron Man weapon.” You hoped Tony wasn’t going to let Stern keep using that word. It would be in sound bytes for the next month. On everyone’s mind.

“My device does not fit that description.” And just like that you breathed a sigh of relief. There had been no use to worrying about today.

Stern gestured vaguely. “Well then ho- how would you describe it?”

Tony leaned half in, arm over the table. “I would describe it by defining it as what it is, senator.”

“...as?”

“Uh- it’s a- hmn.” Half shake of his head for a split second as he connected the thoughts. “It’s a high tech prosthesis.” Another spill of laughter from around you. You tried not to make a face. This was a new one. “Uh- that’s actually the most apt description I could make of it.” You’d be questioned about this for a long time. Maybe you really should have done a dry run with him before coming in here today. He needed to be careful. Precise. Instead he was very much putting on a show.

“It’s a weapon. It’s a weapon, Mr. Stark.” Stern’s techniques leaved a lot to be desired, but only because you could see right thought them. If he said it enough, it would make it true, right? ...even if it was technically true.

“Please. If your priority was actually the well being of American citizens-” Tony seemed ruffled.

Stern spoke quickly and much louder to cull him. “My priority is to get the Iron Man weapon turned over to the people of the United States of America.”

“Well, you can forget it.” A small quiet took the room as he commanded it. “I am Iron Man.” Camera flashes went off. “The suit and I are one. So to turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself which is tantamount to indentured servitude. Or prostitution depending on what state you’re in. Can’t have it.”

That speech had started off so very well. And then immediately he went back to treating this like the joke it was. A shame. You might have had a mind to smack his leg under the table to keep him from ruining such a poignant moment- if you hadn’t been forcefully removed from his side.

Stern fumbled. “Look. I- I’m no… no expert-”

“In prostitution? Of course not. You’re a senator! Come on!” His hand came down on the table and he looked behind to grin at the crowd. The dog and pony show he was putting on for them, peace sign lifted in the air. But his eyes came back to you.

And caught the dry look on your face. No? Asked with a little shake of his head and a raise of his brows.

You returned the gesture. No.

He needed to focus.

Stern had been babbling about something, you only caught the back half of it. “-expert on weapons. I’d like to call Justin Hammer.”

Tony couldn’t bite back the pained look on his face. To be fair, neither could you. Though you suspected what the media would print would look more like absolute annoyance. Because it was. It was no surprise to see him here, knowing he was coming. But that didn’t make it any more pleasant to sit through. Justin moved to come and sit at the table.

“Let the record reflect that I’ve observed Mr. Hammer entering the chamber, and I am wondering if and when any actual expert will also be in attendance.” You had to turn your head down as Tony spoke because you didn’t want to appear to gleeful at such sarcasm. You had to pretend to respect your colleagues after all. In public anyway.

Justin laughed in that weaselly way of his. “Absolutely… I’m no expert. I defer to you, Anthony. You’re the wonder-boy.” Tony just stared him down before looking away. Not worth anyone’s time, really. This whole thing had become a farce just by having Hammer here. “Senator, if I may. I may well not be an expert.” He got up from the table, taking the microphone with him. “But you know who was the expert? Your dad! Howard Stark. Really a father to us all. To the military.”

Was no one going to put a stop to this? Everyone in this room was just going to let Justin Hammer babble on about garbage? Tony was shifting in annoyance. It would have been nice to reach out and put a soothing hand on his shoulder. What trying times these were.

“-and to the military industrial age.” Justin propped himself with an elbow on his brief case sitting on the table, hand in his pocket. Playing at what you assumed was suave and in control. “Let’s just be clear, he was no flower child. He was a lion.” Tony sat back finally, side of his hand to his mouth. Annoyed. Just purely annoyed. You felt it. Or maybe it was just you. “We all know why we’re here. In the last six months Anthony Stark has created a sword with untold possibilities. And yet he insists it’s a shield. He asks us to trust him as we cower behind it. I wish I was comforted, Anthony. I really do. I’d love to leave my door unlocked when I leave the house. But this ain’t Canada.”

 Seriously was no one going to shut this goblin up?

 “You know we live in a world with grave threats. Threats Mr. Stark will not always be able to foresee. Thank you. God bless America. God bless Iron Man.” A smattering of weak applause for his efforts.

“Oh thank god alright.” It was finally over. You said this, as quietly under your breath as you could, and spied the half smile from Tony.

“The committee would now like to invite Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes to the chamber.”

“Rhodey?” Despite knowing he had a report on the docket, both you and Tony experienced simultaneous shock that he was actually here to deliver it. Then again… that did make sense. It would be better if he were there to speak to his own words. Not let them get muddled under government lean.

Tony had stood to greet him down the aisle with a shake of hands and some exchanged words. You stayed seated, scared that if you got up Stern might have a heart attack. But you waved at him and he gave you a nod in return before he came back through the gate to sit down.

Stern was trying to talk over the crowd and the rush of cameras again and you tuned back in. “-a complete report on the Iron Man weapon, complied by Rhodes. And Colonel for the record, can you please read page 57, paragraph 4?”

Oh no.

This was very suddenly not going well. The only reason a senator would ask for such specifics is because it fit their narrative. All of Rhodey’s carefully balanced words, something you earlier assumed would be there, would be lost in a sound clip that was probably terrible.

“...you’re requesting that I read specific selections from my report, Senator?” At least he was just as upset about it.

“Yes, sir.”

You watched as Tony slid back in his chair, hand to his chin. Just watching. Rhodey’s frustrations had begun. “It was my understanding that I was going to be testifying in a more comprehensive and detailed manner.”

“I understand. A lot of things have changed today-”

“You do understand-”

“Just read it-”

“-that reading a single paragraph out of context does not reflect the summary of my findings-”

“-just read it Colonel. I do. Thank you.”

No finer way to tell someone they were no longer in control of their own work. No better way to tell someone you had power over them. This was a circus. You’d expected something like it but not on this level.

Rhodey sighed and you felt the disappointment. “...as he does not operate under any definable branch of government… Iron Man presents a potential threat to the security of both the nation and her interests.”

What Rhodey had been feeling was nothing compared to the bitter rain of discontent coming from Tony. To know that Rhodey had been writing this. Hadn’t asked either of you anything. You were sure there was more in that report. And that he’d done his best to be fair.

But hearing it like this…

“I did however go on to summarize that the benefits of Iron Man far outweigh the liabilities-”

“Alright alright-”

“-and that it would be in our interest to-”

“That’s enough, Colonel!”

“-to fold Mr. Stark into the existing chain of command-”

“That’s enough!”

Tony suddenly leaned forward. “I’m not a joiner, but I’ll consider Secretary of Defense. If you ask nice. We can amend the hours a little bit.” Quickly switching over to continue joking like none of this bothered him.

Stern cleared his throat and seemed unperturbed. This was bad. Because it meant he had something else up his sleeve. “I’d like to go on and show, if I may, the imagery that’s connected to your report.”

“I believe it is somewhat premature to reveal these images to the general public at this time.” And then things went from bad to worse. Images? What images? What did they have?

“Believe me, Colonel, I understand- and if you could just narrate those for us we’d be very grateful.”

You really, really hoped that after all of this you had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Stern in a dark back alley somewhere. Because he deserved so much more than he was ever going to get. What a disgrace.

It felt like the three of you shared a sigh as Rhodey gestured up to the TV in the corner. A grainy surveillance picture popped on screen. “Intelligence suggests that the devices seen in these photos are in fact attempts at making manned copies of Mr. Stark’s suit.”

Tony sat back very suddenly, knee up, phone in hand. You leaned over, scrunch of your brows. Could SHIELD testify? You doubted it. But you wondered. Coulson had said no one was close- then again, he’d only been listening to Obi’s murderous intent. Were they looking at other possibilities? Obi, you’d learned, had only been able to power and run his suit because of the stolen schematics of Tony’s prototype- and then the stolen Arc Reactor.

Was it possible anyone else was even near the level of Iron Man? The thought was chilling. Why wouldn’t Fury have said anything, if that were true? Surely you could have put a stop to it.

“This has been corroborated by our allies and local intelligence on the ground indicating that these suits are… uh… quite possibly at this moment operational.”

Tony sat forward in his seat again, phone up, and you could see his documents on the front screen. “Hold on a second buddy. Let me see.” Activating a program as he aimed it at the TV. A coded window popped up and you recognized the instant access program as it welcomed him, running his data. What was he up to? “I’ve commandeered your screens. I’m gonna need them.”

The crowd was alight in murmurs. It had taken you a couple hours to confirm even the existence of Hammer and Rhodey’s report. Yet you felt like Tony was about to blow you out of the water. Maybe he had been right. Why even bother, then?

“Time for a little transparency. Let’s see what’s really going on. If you’ll direct your attention to said screens-” He swiped across his phone. “I believe that’s North Korea.” A video came on screen of a giant monstrous mech, not humanoid in the slightest. Overbearing, top heavy. Filled to the brim with guns. What a terrible design. It took a few steps forward before toppling over, accidental fire spraying out into surrounding area.

You turned away, feeling a flash of heat. It had been so much different when you were sitting behind a screen barely helping. Out of the action of Iron Man activities. This… this was reminding you too much of what you’d been through that night at the labs.

Stern was quickly crying for something to be done- “Turn it off, take it down!” And as you looked up, Justin was out of his seat at the TV pulling wires.

“Iran.” Tony continued, changing shots. A suit seemed to be in the middle of an explosion, falling from the sky. “No grave immediate threat here… is that Justin Hammer? How did Hammer get here?”

You were surprised at your own surprise as a video of a Hammer tech trials came to life. The suit was primitive compared to Tony’s, no shock there. Stuck to wires. Unable to power it without an attachment. Justin was directing the pilot inside, lifting his leg and then- “Turn to the right!” Twisting his body.

The entire suit swiveled around and there was a sickening crack of bones followed by a scream. You looked away again. The voices in the room were growing out of control. Justin was cursing on screen until finally the noise from the TV died as he pulled the plug.

“Wow. Yeah.” Tony, thoroughly amused. “I’d say most countries ten years away. Hammer Industries, twenty.”

Justin yanked the microphone off the table. “I’d like to point out that that test pilot survived.”

Senator Stern was on his feet. “I think we’re done is the point that he’s making.”

“Point is, uh, you’re welcome. I guess?” Tony, casual as ever, leaning on the table.

“For what.”

“Because. I’m your nuclear deterrent. It’s working. We’re safe. America is secure. You want my property? You can’t have it!” Hand coming down on the table with each word. “But I did ya a big favor!” Then, standing, “I have successfully privatized world peace.” And up the peace signs went.

You stood, too, ready to be out of here. Not sure if this was a victory or not. The hearing hadn’t gone their way, so that was all well and good. The crowd was cheering for him, all applause and shouts. But this…

Tony stepped into them. “What more do you want?” Voice raised above the clamor. “I tried to play ball with these ass clowns!” You weren’t sure you heard him say that correctly above everyone else.

Ass clowns?

 But the shock showed on your face as Stern leaned into his mic, “Fuck you, Mr. Stark! Fuck you, buddy.”

If this had been a circus before, it was a zoo now. And you were utterly, entirely embarrassed. As Stern called for adjournment, Tony went to the table to collect his sunglasses and you turned to leave. You couldn’t stomach any more of this.

You walked past the rush of the crowd moving in to shake Tony’s hand and the cameras at the end of the aisle. “My bond is with the people!” His voice got lost as the doors closed behind you. Outside of the crush you finally drew a breath.

It would have been foolish to believe that after witnessing how powerful the Iron Man suit was that people wouldn’t try to replicate it. You already knew that to be true. More so than anyone else in that room other than Tony. But it had only been six months since then. Since that night. People had walking machines. Sure they were clunky and of use to no one, hooked up to wires with no viable power source otherwise…

“Hey, secretary.” A deadly glare turned Justin Hammer’s way and his hands shot up immediately. “Hey, whoa- I’m just- I was kidding. Obviously.”

“Who do you think you are?”

“Listen, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for the nonsense in there.” You had no idea what he was up to. That was probably the worst thing about him. He was so inept you couldn’t calculate what dumb plans he had.

“You have absolutely no shame. You know that? What- are you going to ask me for Iron Man schematics this time?” Turning to face him in full. Unafraid. He was the last person on earth you’d ever be afraid of.

He huffed out an indignant noise, crossing his arms. “You know, I seem to remember delivering on that deal and yet I turned out the one empty handed.”

You weren’t going to let yourself get caught in this trap. Especially not here. “Tony got ahead of it.”

“Oh you have no idea.” There was something cruel in his tone, but you ignored it. Easy to do when he reached out with the courage of a dead man as he laid a hand on your shoulder. “Look, what I wanted to say is, I’d have never let them treat you like that.”

Standing stock still you glared. “You were half the reason we were here in the first place. How long were you on your knees for Stern to give you this position? Five minutes? I imagine he can’t last that long.”

“Word is you’re busting your ass for Stark Industries while he’s sitting in his basement playing with toys.” Still. Unbelievably still barking up this tree. How stupid could one man be?

“Toys you so desperately want to get your hands on.”

“I just got done saying you can’t have them.” Tony was out of the hearing room, on the approach. He tilted his head down to look over the top of his sunglasses. “And if I have to state the obvious one more time, I’m gonna start billing by the word.” Squint directed at the hand still on you. You can’t have her, either.

Justin pulled back immediately like he’d been burned. “No, no. Of course not, Anthony. I’d never dream of stepping on your territory.”

You turned in to him, “Listen here, you little rat, you can’t be two faced to two people at the same time. And if you insinuate I’m somebody else’s property one more time I’m going to snap you over my knee.” Threat easy as you’d made it not too long ago in private.

The quick horror on his face may have been funny at any other time. You were absolutely done with today and just about everyone in this building. His hands came up in defense like you really might do it. And he was very terrified of that fact. “Hey- we’re all friends here-”

“Go away.” Just below shouting, demanding it nonetheless.

He seemed completely flabbergasted. “I’m- yeah well- I have a meeting anyway-”

“GO.” You startled him into turning around abruptly and trying to pretend like he wasn’t running away. His quick footed half-jogging looked absolutely ridiculous.

Tony was barely stifling his laughter, as was Rhodey who had also seemed to appear out of nowhere. “Holy shit. Why isn’t she the head of your security?”

“Tempting.”

You had to take a big breath so as to not spill your mounting ire- headache storming in very suddenly- all over the two of them. “I’m gonna take a plane home.”

“I’ll call for the jet.” Tony’s amusement dying down quickly, sensing you were at your absolute limit. No time to joke anymore.

Rhodey signaled his disappointment with a drop of his shoulders and a sad smile. “I was hoping we could grab something to eat.”

Even with people leaking out of the courtroom in a steady stream, Tony reached out to put a hand at your arm. Relieving in one way or another. “Go get some rest back at the hotel. Happy will drive you back and stay with you. It’s gonna take them a little while to fuel up anyway. I’ll come get you when they’re here.”

You weren’t sure you could sleep right now, but it sounded like bliss to just be in a quiet room for a bit. So you nodded. “Yeah, alright.” Reaching up, you gave his hand a soft squeeze and then turned to leave.

Behind you as you walked away, you heard their continued conversation.

“Hey man, are you and she...”

And then walked a little more briskly to get out of earshot. You didn’t want to hear what he would say.

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 109: Last One Out of Beach City

“What if I told you that the world was gonna end, and you had fifteen minutes to spend with me or your friends?”

Steven and the Stevens and Hit the Diamond are my two favorite episodes of Steven Universe for reasons I’ve written about at length, but beyond encapsulating the essence of the series and characters and all that, it should be noted that they’re just plain fun. Last One Out of Beach City is smaller in scale, zeroing in on one of the show’s earliest defined relationships and basking in its evolution from a feud to a deep friendship, so it’s harder to use as a stand-in for the show as a whole. But even if it isn’t my third-favorite episode of the series, it stands hand in hand with my top two when it comes to the charm factor.

Last One Out of Beach City is a delight from start to finish. Jesse Zuke’s legendary “Bad Pearl” sketch comes to life in the best way imaginable, and Deedee Magno Hall solidifies her place as my MVP of a killer lineup of voice actors. Actual human being Mike Krol gets tossed into this alternate universe like it was nothing. Crimes are committed. Swears are censored by screeching tires. Juice is spat. Cups, spilt.

This is the promise of Zuke’n’Florido’s brilliant opening sequence of Beta fulfilled: Steven and some Gems hanging out not for half an episode, but an entire one. It’s got sight gags aplenty, supplementing some of the best comedy writing in the series, mixed with the soul-warming joy of watching characters we love getting along. So lest I just turn this review into gushing about individual jokes and lines and moments, let’s dive into why each character we see is terrific, starting with the scofflaw herself.

Last One Out of Beach City does for Pearl what Back to the Moon does for Amethyst and Mindful Education does for Garnet: we see the result of her character growth in Act II, and even if the Mystery Girl looks a lot like Rose, it’s still a huge step forward for our lady of perpetual mourning to develop a crush on someone new (and to be so low-key polite to Greg). The romantic subplot alone could drive an episode, but Pearl gets so many more hats than “girl with a crush” here: she’s a nerd, a badass, a criminal, and a middle-aged mom all at once. She vacillates between genuinely cool and desperately uncool until she fuses these extremes together to become a confident square; it’s perhaps Deedee Magno Hall’s best Pearlformance that doesn’t include singing, and that’s saying a lot. Between her voice acting, the lines themselves (“This is why we buckle up”), and the sheer sense of catharsis from seeing her choosing to move forward with her life, this is my favorite Pearl episode. And that’s saying a lot.

Pearl has always had a weird relationship with humanity. She's distant from modern culture compared to Amethyst, and her misunderstandings about human stuff is often played for laughs, but she’s also a crack car mechanic and is enamored with human concepts like knighthood. She’s not completely removed from society, but chooses not to engage unless something in particular catches her fancy. So it’s fascinating to see her associating moving forward with performing more human activities; she’s embracing Earth as it is, not as it was when the Gem War was raging, and she’s not letting lingering envy from Rose’s love of humans like Greg get in her way.

The reason this works so well is that it’s clearly performative, rather than an actual sudden personality shift. She’s still a homebody who likes puzzles and hanging out with her kid. She’s still snooty, both with her friends (dismissing the idea that anyone could be nostalgic for something as “new” as suburbs) and with her crush (“By the way, I saved your planet and your species and you're welcome”). And she’s still nervous as all get-out, but brave enough to push forward anyway.

Pearl’s maternal nature isn’t ignored, but used as fuel for her attempt at rebirth. There’s a huge difference between an awkward person putting themselves out there for the first time and a semi-retired hellraiser who, after settling into a comfortable groove, seeks to relive her glory days. She’s been dwelling on the negative for so long that she feels out of touch with her adventurous side, to the point where wearing pants and drinking juice is adventurous, but because we know Pearl so well by now we can actually appreciate how big of a deal these minor accomplishments are for her.

While it’s refreshing to see Pearl moving on from Rose, it’s perhaps even greater to see how far her relationship with Amethyst has come. While their longstanding rivalry softened during the Week of Sardonyx, we haven’t gotten them alone together since, and it just feels so nice to see Amethyst ribbing Pearl with that extra burst of sisterly affection, and Pearl loosening up enough to not take every slight personally.

As with Pearl, Amethyst works here because her personality hasn’t been erased; again, she’s still ragging on Pearl. The plot gets rolling because of Amethyst’s well-established fascination with humanity, and Pearl’s decision to see the show is prompted in part by wanting to impress Amethyst, something she never would’ve cared about in Season 1. And for all her teasing, Amethyst encourages Pearl every step of the way, not just out of solidarity but because she’s legitimately impressed.

And in a world where Pearl and Amethyst are egging each other on, Steven has to step up and be practical. I appreciate that his sense of responsibility and realism doesn’t make him a jerk or a brat, but more of a peer than ever among his fellow Crystal Gems. When pointing out the pink-haired elephant in the room, he’s not condemning or teasing Pearl: he’s just clearing the tension, and showing that he’s more aware of the situation than a younger Steven might have been. In this episode, Steven is the friend who looks for a gas station when his buds are freaking out about running out of fuel.

By now Steven feels comfortable with his place in the team, and with his relationships with Amethyst and Pearl as individuals. A version of this episode placed earlier in the series might’ve been about Pearl and Amethyst fighting for his attention, or Steven vying for attention from either of them, but by now he’s happy to do a puzzle with Pearl and to go to a concert with Amethyst, and there’s zero conflict. Immaturity shouldn’t be a go-to character beat anymore, and I love that Steven is acting his age.

Mystery Girl turns out to be more of a device than a character, as we never see her again. But I honestly think that’s fine; what matters is that Pearl is willing to put herself out there, and the result isn’t a new relationship with a new love interest but a new relationship with humanity. The Pearl of Bismuth Casual, hanging out with a posse of human friends and showing off her Gem powers with glee, owes everything to the Pearl of Last One Out of Beach City, and thus everything to Mystery Girl. Perhaps they had a thing at some point. Perhaps they still do have a thing. We don’t know, because Pearl has new hobbies outside of being a Crystal Gem, and that’s the victory.

An in terms of the show’s greater plot, if our new friend never gave Pearl her number, Pearl never would’ve gotten a phone, so A Single Pale Rose never would’ve happened. Perhaps one day he would’ve learned the truth, but certainly not before Yellow and Blue Diamond arrived to wage war on the planet. So thanks for saving the world, Mystery Girl!

The use of music from our universe lends Last One Out of Beach City a uniquely realistic tone compared to the rest of the series; perhaps any such music would do the trick, but a garage rocker is an apt choice for setting a grounded mood. We get a glimpse of Greg’s life outside of being a dad, as he socializes not only with Amethyst but Barb and Vidalia. The car chase lurches to reality when we learn that Pearl doesn’t have a driver’s license, and explicit references are made to the DMV and Pearl’s citizenship. It’s like knowing Steven’s exact age, or having Greg break his leg in Ocean Gem instead of getting a nondescript injury, or hearing Dr. Maheswaran describe PTSD using terms like “cortisol”: these concrete details make these characters feel more like real people. And considering this is a character-centric episode in a show where characters are pretty much always at the center anyway, that realism gives us a deeper connection to what our heroes are going through.

Pearl is by no means a teenager, and the critical element of reclaiming her mojo muddles direct comparisons to a teen protagonist, but the emotional honesty of Last One Out of Beach City makes me feel nostalgic, and not just for the suburbs. Driving around, not quite following the rules, and bouts of chasing meaning when you’re not as interested in traditional adolescent social activities? Those were my teenage years. I don’t always miss them, but this episode brings out the best of my memories.

There’s really not much else to say. I could spend another few paragraphs incoherently gushing about the writing and the animation and the voice work, but I promise the time you’d spend reading that would be better spent rewatching the episode. While I maintain my comparison to Beta, Last One Out of Beach City does stand in opposition to Peridot’s first Meep Morp: it has no functional purpose, it just makes me feel good.

Future Vision!

I already brought up how Mystery Girl’s number prompts A Single Pale Rose, but that episode itself shows that Pearl’s a lot slicker than she thought she was. That’s a lot of codes!

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

Not sure why we get a Halloween-themed promo for an episode that has nothing to do with Halloween and aired in early September, but this is me not complaining about that. (Apparently it’s actually a reference to a Japanese tradition but I don’t watch enough anime to know more about that.)

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

It’s not my third favorite, but this episode is really high up there. The cream of the crop are episodes that give me the purest emotional reactions: Mirror Gem nails dread, Lion 3 and Alone Together embody two different kinds of wonder, and Steven and the Stevens, Hit the Diamond, and Last One Out of Beach City just make me unspeakably happy.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

When It Rains

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     5. Horror Club      4. Fusion Cuisine      3. House Guest      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[ranjxtul]

Fire and Reign-  Chapter 2: Another One

Witches AU Chapter Two. Possible TW for violence.

 Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19249039/chapters/45910348

It was several days after Katerine had first been brought to the coven that she had rested sufficiently enough for any sort of ability assessment. Turns out being brutally murdered and bringing yourself back to life really took a lot out of a person. In that time, she’d gone with Jane and Anne to get things from her flat and she’d begrudgingly called her parents to let them know she was alive and that instead of living alone she was moving in with Anne. They didn’t know about witches, there was no need to change that.

On her sixth day at the house, Katherine announced over breakfast she wanted to test the waters with her powers and begin to learn the wards Aragon had discussed the first night at dinner. Truth be told, she wasn’t paying all that much attention to how she was physically. She was more focused on learning. The more she ruminated on the Henry situation, the more her anger and also fear increased. She feared for the coven and herself should he find them, and she was angry at his wanton massacre of innocent people (she’d be lying if some of that didn’t come from the fact that he’d almost killed her cousin).

Consequently, the girl was eager to learn, especially if it was from Parr or Aragon. Already she admired the two for their obvious intellect and skill. She’d also found herself searching for Cleves’ or Jane’s company at some points. Anna had an energetic but simultaneously laid back vibe, and had some of the best one-liners she’d heard in her life. Jane was maternal and the conversation with her was never dull. Even in such a short period of time, Katherine found herself relaxing into this new environment and maybe even growing a bit attached to her new friends. For that reason, among others, she was determined not to be the weak link in the event of a confrontation with Henry.

“How is this going to work exactly?” Katherine asked as she stood in the fenced in backyard wringing her hands admittledy a bit nervous. She understood this was purely assessment, and that knowing virtually nothing about witchcraft she shouldn’t be fabulous at anything. Regardless, she didn’t want to make a fool of herself.

“We’ll start with what you’ve been able to do, telekinesis and vitalum vitalis. We need to know how strong your raw ability is,” Parr explained coming to stand beside Katherine. Taking note of Katherine’s body language she added, “Don’t stress about it. This is totally meant to just be a baseline.”

Katherine nodded, “Yeah. Is there anything specific you want me to do, like with telekinesis,” she specified wanting to get on with it.

“Move one of the chairs across the patio,” came Aragon’s voice as she approached the duo. The brunette gave a short nod, turning to face the patio. She focused on the lightest looking chair and imagined it shooting across the gravel, like she’d imagined the glass flying last time.

Much to her surprise and delight, the chair did just that after several seconds, only with so much force that it careened into the adjacent wall. “Maybe with less force next time,” Aragon’s voice came from behind, caring a note of mirth.

Katherine felt her face flush a light shade of pink, “Sorry, yeah. Noted,” she said turning back to face Aragon and Parr.

“No need to apologize,” Aragon dismissed her. Catherine tilted her head pensively. If Howard had been able to do that so quickly then she wondered if she could do something a bit more detailed. It’d need to be something that wouldn’t break easily considering the lack of control with respect to the amount of force. “Can you make the rake that’s laying against the greenhouse move to the corner of the fence diagonal to us?” Parr asked nodding toward the aforementioned rake.

Katherine’s eyes followed Parr’s head until they landed on the garden rake against the house. She gave a short nod in Parr’s direction, unsure of whether or not she could in fact do it.

“Have the intention and don’t let your mind stray,” Aragon advised with a small smile. It didn’t take clairvoyance to discern that Katherine was still unsure of herself.

Katherine glanced back at Aragon, “Yeah.” Then she turned once and focused on the yard tool and did her best to envision it in the designated corner. Similarly to her first go, the rake flew with prodigal force, albeit it did land in its target, crashing against the fence and promptly falling to the ground from its impact.

Instead of commenting on the lack of control again, Parr nudged Katherine, a smile on her face, “Well done. That’s promising.” Parr imagined with a bit of training and practice, Katherine could rival her or maybe even Aragon in regards to telekinesis.

“Let’s move on then?” Aragon suggested moving so she was now standing on Katherine’s other side.

“Sounds good to me,” Katherine nodded. Her relative success at this first endeavor helped her feel a little bit more capable, but she knew that toying with raw ability was still far from being a distinguished mage.

“We were thinking you could start with a dead plant, that way it won’t drain your energy. Bringing something larger like a human back to life when you’re untrained can really tire you out, as I’m sure you’ve realized,” Parr explained starting toward her greenhouse with Aragon not far behind her.

Katherine quickly took the initiative and began to follow the two women. “Is this where you’re working normally when you disappear during the day?” Katherine asked remembering Catherine’s notable absence from lunch to dinner.

“Indeed. It’s peaceful and I love my plants. Being able to slip out and tend to them or work on spells or potions is nice.” While that was all very true, Parr kept all of her research out in the greenhouse. It was her space and usually only those she invited (along with the occasional unannounced visit from Jane or Aragon) were around.

The earthy smell of soil and leaves filled the air the minute the trio stepped into the greenhouse. Varieties of herbs and plants filled one section of it and a shelf of books and vials sat across from it. Further down were a few tables set in the center where Parr had put certain plants out for some reason or another, and right beside the door that led back into the house sat a small wooden desk whose surface was covered with stacks of notebooks and a closed laptop. Parr led Katherine to one of the metal tables in the center of the room.

“This is Devil’s Claw. We use this in spells for protection along with some others. I came in here the other day and noticed it was rotting, and figured I’d save it for when you were doing this,” Parr elucidated reaching across the table to pull a large pot closer to her and Katherine.

“How do I do this? I was unconscious when I did this last,” Katherine finally admitted after a minute of sizing up the plant.

“I’m not quite sure there’s a specific thought I can tell you to have to make this happen,” Parr bit her lip. “Every witch has different preferred methods to do this regularly.”

“It is possible though,” Aragon jumped in, “to do this without any magical aids. It has to do with your energy mostly. I’ve never met a witch with dark energy who could perform vitalum vitalis. Intention is also important here because if you’re ambivalent about wanting the thing to live then it won’t work properly,” she offered hoping her advice was apt.

Katherine gave the pair a contemplative nod before glancing back at the plant. Parr and Aragon watched speculatively as the girl lay her hands against the soil and closed her eyes. Nothing happened for the first minute or so but as Katherine furrowed her brow a bit and seemed to let her fingers move into the soil, the wilting plant began to once again blossom. It’s browning leaves started to turn green once more and its shriveling stalk shot upright once more. Before their eyes, a plant which had been rotting at its precious roots sprung back to life vibrantly and flourished all in one moment.

When Katherine opened her eyes again, she couldn’t help but grin when she saw the drastic change in the plant’s appearance. She carefully took her hands out of the plants soil and admired her work, “Wow,” she finally mumbled to herself.

“Very well done!” Came Parr’s now enthusiastic tone as she herself approached the table to inspect the plant. “Not only did you revive it, now it seems to be thriving,” she added after grazing its leaves and stalk with her hands.

“I’m impressed,” Aragon complimented offering Katherine a smile. The brunette’s cheeks blushed a light pink at the praise from both Parr and the Supreme. “Healing definitely seems to be your strong suit. That’ll be our starting point aside from the basic wards,” she decided aloud.

“Do you want me to try to do anything else like pyrokinesis or divination?” Katherine asked, her eyes glimmering with a certain energy no one in the house had seen before. She didn’t complain about it to anyone other than Anne, but the Henry incident weighed her down.

She talked to Anne because Anne could relate to it in some ways. Katherine hadn’t felt safe leaving the house and when she thought about what happened too hard, her chest got tight and phantom pains sparked through the raised scar. Now, being able to succeed and be productive at a task helped Katherine feel a bit more normal and gave her drive to keep going.

“Not today I don’t think. It’s best not to push for things you haven’t been taught,” Aragon shook her head kindly.

“Can I start learning those wards from Jane then? I want to keep going while I have the energy,” Katherine insisted.

“I suppose I don’t see a problem with that as long as Jane isn’t busy, just don’t push yourself too hard,” the Supreme cautioned with a raised brow.

“If you want to find her, Jane usually hangs out up in the attic if you don’t see her any of the normal places. She’s set up some research up there,” Parr added.

“Great! Thank you! I guess I’ll see you later then?” Katherine raised her brow, not leaving before some sort of final confirmation from Aragon or Parr. Parr gave her an encouraging nod before Katherine turned on her heel to seek out the blonde.

Quickly, Katherine made her way toward the attic after checking the kitchen and Jane’s room, both of which were empty. She stopped her hand hovering over the doorknob and thought better of it, rapping gently on the door. Seconds later, a quiet voice floated through the door, “Come in.”

Katherine stepped into the attic only to be hit in the face with lukewarm air. The only ventilation came from an open window and fans Jane had plugged in. Regardless of ventilation or lack thereof, Jane had made herself at home in the relatively open space. A small table stood off to the side and on it were several stacks of books. Off to one side, Jane’s divination stones sat laid out in formation and several candles sat nearby. Jane glanced up from her spot at the table, pouring over a text, “Kat! What can I do for you?” Over the few days Katherine had been there, she’d taken to call her ‘Kat’ as she traditionally called Aragon ‘Catherine’ so having a nickname for Howard made sense in her mind.

“Can you teach me those protection spells?” Katherine asked stepping further into the attic. On a second thought, she turned back to shut the door once more, assuming Jane would want some privacy.

Jane flashed the girl a smile. She wondered when she'd have a visit from Katherine asking her just that, “Of course. Let me clean up some of my space here then we’ll get started. How’d your time with Cathy and Catherine go?” She continued, beginning to clear books off of the table.

“Uh, it went well, I think. I threw things way too forcefully though, with my mind of course and I was able to revive one of Parr’s plants that was dying,” she nodded. Her voice betrayed a hint of pride at her accomplishments, especially with the plant.

“That’s great, love. I’m proud,” Jane smiled. Katherine’s face lit up at the praise. She almost hated that she so noticeably fed off of the praise of others, but for so much of her life, she’d based her self-image on what others said or thought. From her first music teacher and his greedy hands, her first employers demands, to her family’s expectations. Now in the coven she found herself falling back into old habits. The difference was that this time she was in an environment where people built her up genuinely.

“Thank you. Aragon said that I could start learning more about healing after I learned all of the basic stuff you’re about to teach me. I’m excited for that,” she paused to observe Jane and scan the spines of the books she could see, “what are you working on in here?”

“Some research on tracking magic, and I’m working on some spells of my own, nothing largely important. Come stand over here beside me. We need to get started,” Jane instructed.

Once Katherine stood beside her, she began to speak again, “The two most quintessential spells you’ll need to learn are a face morphing spell and a cloaking spell. They do exactly as you think. The face morphing spell can change the appearance of your face and the cloaking spell can make you invisible to others around you. They only work in short periods of time though. The same effects can last longer if produced through a potion but it isn’t quite practical to carry around a potion all the time. Transmutation would also be helpful to have for possible use along with these spells, but we can focus on that later. First we’ll work on the face morphing spell,” she paused to see that the girl had registered everything, “shall we begin?”

Hours later, after dinner Catherine retreated to the greenhouse Anne helped an exhausted Katherine up to her room insisting, “You wore yourself out when you weren’t at your fullest!” Aragon glanced at the two witches left in the kitchen.

“We need to talk in private you two. Once the kitchen is clean meet me in my study. I’d offer to help but I have a lot of things to think over. And girls? This is council business so it stays with us for now,” she added. Cleves and Jane gave affirmations which satisfied Aragon.

As she headed back toward her study, she pulled her phone out of her pocket to see a text from Maria. Maria was one of the witches on the other side of London who were technically a part of her coven, but not living with them. The text read: ‘We found another one. Different field than Howard, same style. Beheaded. She’s been gone for what looks like about a week so it’s too late to bring her back.’

“Damn it,” Aragon cursed under her breath. She entered her study and sunk into the soft desk chair with a sigh before texting a response to Maria. Then, she opened a small notebook on the inner corner of her desk which was filled already with her sloping script. On the next blank page she added, ‘Unknown beheaded victim found, probably Henry. Check on missing persons records and attempt to identify who. Call Maria.’

Just as she closed the notebook, Jane and Anna slipped into the room. “Thank you for joining me so quickly,” Aragon commented with a nod in their direction.

“No problem. It’s our job. Now what’s up?” Anna asked, always one to get to the point in situations like these.

With a sigh, Aragon announced, “There’s been another kill, which wasn’t what I was going to address originally but now needs to be. We also need to discuss any progress we’ve had on learning more about Henry’s magics.”

Anna sat up straighter, “Another kill? When? Where?”

Aragon held a hand up, “Hold on. I was getting there. Maria just reported it to me. The girl was beheaded about a week ago. We don’t have an identification yet. If Maria or one of the others discovers something on that before we do, I’m sure she’ll let us know. In the meantime I can work on ID and we can move forward to getting the root of the problem taken care of.”

“Do we know if Maria and the other girls are still flying under the radar? Henry seems to be rooting every other witch in London out and trying to, or succeeding in killing them,” Jane pointed out.

“Seems like they are. I think they’re aware enough of the danger and were fortunate enough to avoid him before they were aware. We’d get word that they were compromised if they were and they’d come join us here,” Aragon nodded. “Moving on though, Jane has any of your tracking magic research provided anything yet? And Anna, have we made any headway with the identities of his other victims?”

Jane spoke first, “I’m doing my best, but as you know, tracking the magical signature is much more complex that tracking an object or person. It’s not like I can traditionally divine a magical signature and place it locationally or its owner. I do have a couple spells in the works though. If they work out the next step would be getting someone in contact with Henry again long enough to cast one of the spells so we can find the origin of the magic.”

Anna spoke next, “I’ve only been able to identify three. They all came from central London though and they were young. Katherine’s age or younger.”

Aragon and Jane both visibly cringed at hearing Henry had been killing off those so young. “How young was the youngest?” Jane hesitantly asked.

“As far as I can tell, sixteen. It’s fucked, I know,” she added, shaking her head.

“That it may be, but that just gives us more motivation to deal with him right?” Aragon supplied attempting to move on from the uncomfortable and just downright depressing fact of the ages of Henry’s victims. Dwelling on it wouldn’t help, not when they could be productive about the issue, or at least attempt to be.

Jane and Anna gave nods in response before Catherine continued speaking, “Jane, how’d Katherine do today learning everything? It was clear over dinner she’d drained herself.”

“She picked up the spells well actually. She seems to have a natural ability for magic. My only worry is that in a fight she wouldn’t stop when she was drained even if someone could cover her, or that in practicing she’ll run herself into the ground. She’s reckless in that way,” Jane reported.

“Maybe next time she wants to learn something, we could work on control and pacing?” Anna suggested. “I think, and I could be wrong, that she’s throwing herself into this so hard because she wants to be useful. If we worked with her on control then perhaps we could implicitly say that she’s better off learning at a less rapid pace because that means she’s not running herself dead.”

Aragon contemplated the idea in her mind staying silent for a moment, “I think that’s a good idea. Anna, since it was your idea, can you be in charge of that? You’re also not strong in healing magic so learning from you she won’t feel like she could be learning about healing.”

The German shrugged, “On it.”

Aragon nodded in approval, “Lovely. Jane keep working on the spells and we’ll go from there. As I said before, I’ll keep you all updated on the situation with his victims. I think that’s all for this meeting, ladies,” she dismissed the other two with a small smile. Jane stood first, explaining she wanted to work on her research and Anna excused herself then, saying she had something to do.

Jane’s common sense told her she needed to sleep and check on Eddie about three hours of hitting dead ends in her work. On her way back to her own room from the attic, Jane couldn’t help but to peak into Katherine’s door when she noticed it open. Her original intention was to simply close the door, but when she caught sight of Katherine writhing on the bed, something pulled at her heartstrings and she slipped into the room. “Kat?” She addressed the girl attempting to shake her from her fitful sleep.

A hyper aware Katherine bolted up in bed moments later, clutching at her neck and panting. It took her brain several seconds to process her surroundings and her elevated heart rate pounding in her ears along with the unmistakable feeling of anxiety boiling in the pit of her stomach. It was only when she noticed Jane sitting at the edge of the bed and realized her hands were still wrapped around her own throat that she put the pieces together. Her nightmare had somehow gotten someone else’s attention. She glanced at the clock on the table to see it was about 1:00. “Sorry to have woken you,” she apologized in between breaths, immediately assuming she’d woken the blonde.

Jane tilted her head, “You didn’t wake me, sweetheart. I was up working and walking back to my room. Your door was open and I was going to close it for you, then I saw you flinching and jerking in your sleep, figured I’d wake you before it got any worse,” she said kindly.

Katherine nodded pushing back the covers damp with sweat. She blinked her wide eyes a few times still trying to chase off intrusive images and thoughts from her dream of her death. “Thank you-” she stopped, realizing she’d been about to unload all of her dream onto Jane. Something in the blonde made Katherine want to trust her, even if she’d only known her for a short period of time. That feeling frightened Katherine, when she'd carelessly extended trust un the past she got burned.

“You can talk about it if you want,” Jane hummed sensing wariness amongst the tide of anxiety running through Katherine. “You don’t have to, but I’m happy to listen.”

The room fell silent for a short period of time with Jane waiting patiently and Katherine weighing her options. She could trust Jane who radiated warmth and talk about it which could help set her at ease or she could decline and try to sleep again and risk falling back into a nightmare.The latter of the two options definately sounded least appealing. In a hasty moment, she decided to trust Jane. “It was the first time I’ve dreamed since it happened,” Katherine finally started, anxiously picking at a piece of loose skin on one of her nails.

Jane gave an encouraging nod and in some instinct of comfort, she reached out put a hand on Katherine’s wrist to give it a squeeze. “When he- my death kept playing on a loop and I couldn’t stop it, no matter what I tried and I could almost feel the pain again. I could feel him dragging me and crushing my knee, the whole bit, even up to the ax-” she stopped to try and force a deep breath as during her explanation her sentences and breaths started to come in rapid succession.

“It’s okay, you’re here. I’ve got you,” Jane reminded her quietly. Instead of verbally responding, Katherine took hold of Jane’s hand which had fallen nearby after it had squeezed her wrist. At the physical contact, Jane could even more intensely feel the fear coursing through Katherine at recounting her death. After several minutes of silence, the fear and anxiety subsided to a dull hum replaced by a hazing exhaustion. Once Jane registered this transition, Katherine released a shaky sigh. “There you go. That’s good,” Jane praised.

“Can I- I really kind of want a hug. I’d ask Anne if I thought she were awake, and you don’t have to of course,” Katherine responded her eyes darting up to look at the blonde for a fleeting second.

“Of course,” Jane nodded without hesitation, gently freeing her hand from Katherine’s, so she could open her arms to the girl. In a matter of seconds, Katherine wrapped her arms around Jane tightly, revelling in the physical comfort. The blonde allowed Katherine a hug as long as she needed, and simply took to running a hand through long pink ended locks.

Finally Katherine pulled away from the hug, visibly looking a bit more at ease, “Thank you, that really did make me feel better,” she mumbled looking down at her lap again.

“Anytime, really,” Jane replied with a dismissive shake of her head.

Katherine’s eyes widened for a moment, “You mean that?” she asked wondering why a woman she’d known for about a week cared about her already.

“I do, I promise,” she assured giving one of Katherine’s hands a squeeze.

“Thank you, again. It really means a lot,” the girl said giving Jane a small smile, though she was unsure how clearly Jane could make it out in the dark. “I think I’m gonna try and sleep again,” she decided aloud next.

Jane nodded, “Like I said, anytime. If you can’t sleep, Cathy is usually up late, and I’m sure she wouldn’t mind a bit of quiet company.” She would’ve told Katherine she could come fine her, but she didn’t want to overstep any boundaries.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Katherine said softly as Jane stood to make her way out. “Goodnight,” Katherine added as Jane was halfway out the door.

“Goodnight,” the blonde replied slipping away with a small smile on her face. Any reservations she’d had about bringing Katherine into the coven (due to security reasons) had nearly completely dissipated at this point. Not only did Howard have the potential to be a powerful witch, but she was also a kind soul.

That night, Katherine Howard was not the only soul unable to sleep. The Supreme rolled around in her bed, mind whirring at a dizzying rate. With a huff, she pushed her blankets back. If sleeping was a futile endeavor then perhaps she could be productive. A quick glance at the clock told her it was two in the morning, so Aragon padded her way down to the greenhouse, where Catherine Parr sat hunched over her laptop.

“Catherine,” Aragon called as she stepped into the dimly lit room, save for the lamp on Parr’s desk. The curly headed woman glanced up, her eyes wide and eyebrows raised until she saw it was only her godmother.

“Oh hey,” she finally greeted back, turning to face Aragon fully. “Why’re you up so late?” she asked curiously. Normally she and Jane were the last two to sleep.

“I could ask you the same question,” Aragon mused with a small smile. “But I also know it’s useless to try and get you to sleep earlier so it’d be pointless. For the record, I couldn’t sleep.”

Parr rolled her eyes goodnaturedly, unable to keep a small smile of her own from forming on her face. “I’m up researching what you asked me to, remember?” She said her voice carrying a ghost of jest. “Is there anything in particular keeping you up though?” She asked sobering back up.

“Just the situation I guess. There’s been some disturbing developments and I fear we’re running out of time,” she replied leaning against the doorframe. “Out of time for what? Some sort of confrontation?”

“I suppose. I just have a gut feeling, and I don’t like it. I hope I’m wrong,” Aragon added after a short pause. “I shouldn’t let this get out because it is council business, but someone else is dead. We have to figure something out, We’re dying and even if we six and the girls across the city survive, that’s not helping our kind survive. Jane’s progress with tracking magic is coming slowly and it doesn’t need to be.”

“I won’t press for more details on the new victim, but I agree, something needs to be done. Speaking of which, I may have found something. You asked me to try and figure out who was employing him and where he came from and such. Well, I did some digging to learn that’s from the UK but he’s been in other countries pulling similar shit. He’s been in Spain, France and Germany. There the murders were reported and documented though no one was ever convicted. It’s the exact same MO if you will: beheading in a rural area in one fell swoop. Plus the victims were consistently young women.”

“As for his associates, I’m coming up blank. I”ve even corresponded with the American supreme and she’s never experienced anything like him. She said they shut down the main company for hunters. My best guess is that it’s a family thing or he’s working in a micro group, which is smart. They leave less of a trace,” Parr finished.

Aragon knit her brows at this new information. This man had to be incredibly careful or have some sort of magic protection that helped him not get caught. It seemed like a Henry move. If he used wards to detect a witch’s power and protect himself, then it wasn’t a far stretch to wonder if he would use them to cover his crimes.

“You should tell the council. Maybe this would help,” Parr pressed in the silence that fell as Aragon’s thoughts whirled.

“No. That’s not a good idea. I don’t want to worry them any more, and truthfully? The less people who know this, the safer we are. We still don’t know who’s protecting him and if he knows we’re figuring out a pattern in anyway then he’ll move faster and we can’t,” Aragon shook her head.

Parr’s eyes widened, “Are you insinuating what I think you are? Do you think his aid is one of us?” She couldn’t help the prying tone that left her lips as the shock of the implications in Aragon’s statement hit her.

“I- I don’t think so, but you can never be too careful who you trust and we don’t know what he’s capable of. I’m not going to lose anyone else, at least not those directly under my protection,” the Supreme said with a firm nod, covering her falter toward the beginning of her sentence. This was her coven, and she was hellbent on protecting it, even if that meant withholding information or not blindly trusting everyone.

[robalchemy]

Coming Out Of The Empath Closet

Like most of these posts, I’m never really sure where to begin or how to lead in...But the title says it all; I’m an empath. So why write a blog post about this? Why make it public? Why make it a big deal? why even share it at all? Well, that last question is the biggest one I’ve been faced with most of my life. Why WOULD I share this about myself in such a close minded world? Why would anyone dare to allow the deepest parts of them out for all the world to see? It’s absolute insanity in our self-centered, closed minded, drive-through, fearful, dogmatic culture we call the western world in 2019. And I’m JUST bringing this out at the age of 35, so could you imagine trying to explain this to the school psychologists in the early 90′s? That would surely have been a one-way ticket to ALL the anti-psychotic drugs! Okay, so there’s a LOT to unpack here, so let’s just take it one spoonful at a time, yes? My biggest reason for bringing this aspect of myself out into the open is primarily for anyone else who’s in the same boat as me, but for a multitude of reasons, is perhaps conflicted by it. And believe me, I’ve been through ALL of these barriers time and time again. You never know what anyone will think. And this concept of normality and fitting in has been just pounded into us so hard for so long. Maybe you’re worried that your friends or family will think you’re crazy. Maybe you’re beginning to question your own sanity. Maybe people have TOLD you you’re crazy. Maybe people have put you down for it. Maybe people have made you feel like the absolute dumbest piece of shit that the face of the earth has ever seen for being so fake and ridiculous. Maybe religious people in your life want you to believe you’re all up in the devil. Maybe people have said it’s just a phase. Or that you’re fishing for attention. I’ve been to all of these places more times than I could recall.

And I WANT to tell you that this is all somehow not true, not real. I WANT to tell you that. But unfortunately, people’s judgments are VERY real, whether we like it or not. And so many of us can FEEL these judgments in so many ways. For me, I feel the intention other people have in conversation. I (more often than not) already know what their point is going to be before they’ve even finished the first sentence. I know when someone is lying to me. I know when someone’s trying to manipulate me. I even physically feel when someone is THINKING about me. (It feels like an extreme hot flash running up and down my spine and in my head.) So yes, judgement has, does and will happen. We can’t change that, nor is it our duty or right to change ANYONE. That’s not what any of us are here to do. So what should we do about both negative reactions or even just FEAR of negative reactions? Not a damn. Freaking. Thing. Which brings me to my second point of why I’m bringing this up: If we can’t be honest and true to ourselves, what CAN we be honest and true to? The truth here is that we all have the things and characteristics that make us US in this life. Would you be ashamed that maybe you have brown eyes? Would you shame someone else for liking ice cream? Of course not, it’s absolutely absurd! And these abilities that in truth, EVERYONE has - Are no different. These are just other characteristics of the way we are that are immutable. We can’t change them. We can’t delete them. So why not embrace them? That’s a question that would have made me VERY nervous even just months ago. In short, this is who I am. It’s who I’ve always been, since childhood. And it’s been a major factor in leading a VERY misunderstood life. Personally, I was VERY lucky to grow up in a family that was very open minded to these things. It’s not like I was identified as an empath and knew I was empathic when I was a kid. Back in the 90′s, that term was akin to ‘Witchcraft’ and late night infomercials for “JoJo’s Psychic Alliance Hotline for $5 a minute”. My Mom was strongly empathic, my sister is probably the strongest empath of any of us, and my Dad even developed some of his abilities later on in life, as well. (Although I’m probably closest with my Brother, but I really have no idea where he stands with any of this, and that’s completely okay too.) Growing up, my Mom always just described me as being very sensitive. And that really IS a very apt description. But she knew what I had from day one, whether she shared it with anyone or not. I’m not sure what my sister recognized in me at that time, but still, in some ways she could read me better than anyone. I also grew up OBSESSIVELY creative. And I haven’t changed even a little bit. This is a very common trait among empaths of all varieties - I don’t yet fully understand why, but somehow it also seems very fitting. As a creative soul, I can see possibilities that nobody else can. I can process certain kinds of abstract concepts intuitively and instantly. I can visualize almost to the level of hallucination, that’s how I always knew where to put the lines when I’m drawing. So even aside from all this empathic stuff, my brain was never wired “normally” to begin with. And growing up - The schools, psychologists and so many teachers saw this and insisted to my parents that something was wrong with me. I had to be “fixed” because back in those days, not fitting into the same box as everyone else was BAD. This was just the tip of the iceberg for a central theme in this life for me. So just for fun, I’d like to get into the specifics of some of the things I experience that maybe not EVERYONE else does. Since childhood, my main “odd” experience is that I feel the emotions and intentions of either those immediately around me, those I observe or those I interact with. This is actually the trickiest part of it all for me, because for decades, I had no idea that many of the things I was feeling weren’t mine. Can you imagine how screwed up that makes a person feel? The thing that made me aware and able to discern which emotions were and weren’t mine was...Well, it was freaking OBVIOUS once I began opening up to new perspectives. I knew I wasn’t perceiving the world incorrectly, yet my emotional reactions often did not remotely suit the circumstances I was in. I was just so used to it that it was just a part of life for me, and second guessing my own thoughts became normal. This caused me to repress it for so many years, but it never went away. It just kept getting more and more pushed down and compact over my lifetime until it reached critical mass and EVERYTHING I’d built up over this life began exploding out of me since it had nowhere else to go. I experienced this as chronic, severe long term depression and anxiety in recent years. That’s a long story unto itself that I’d rather not go too deep into, but the point is: Being THAT unhealthy and repressed nearly cost me my life. I became a borderline alcoholic, because that was the only way I knew to feel better. I also became obese. (Fun fact, in the last year, I’ve dropped ALL that weight!) And many times, I was borderline suicidal. I even went through several psychologists who were at a complete loss and fired me as a client because they couldn’t help me. Friends, THIS is what happens when we fall out of alignment with ourselves. This is why being true to ourselves goes FAR beyond a warm fuzzy sentiment. Now imagine being able to feel the intentions and emotions of anyone you direct your attention toward or interact with. Even through a screen. Now take a look around at the world we’re living in right now. It’s so disturbing and unspeakable to me that I don’t even want to go into examples, because even just tuning into the very concept of these negative emotions hits me so hard that I can feel it physically. And as much as I hate to say it, I live in Canada’s Arkansas. The part of the country I live in is Canada’s undisputed capital of bigotry, racism, xenophobia, selfishness and just fear driven hate in general. And I’ve lived here for 35 years. Just do the math on that and maybe you can begin to see how challenging it can really be just EXISTING as a person with empathic abilities. Now, the root word of ‘empathy’ is - You guessed it! So for me, this also goes the other way. When I see the VICTIMS of all this hate, I feel it exactly as they do. En masse. I can’t even begin to emphasize how strongly I feel it, and how much it hurts beyond what physical pain can offer. Because you can relieve physical pain sometimes, yes? This has created for me the challenge of even HAVING any faith or good will towards humanity when I can FEEL what we do to each other every minute of every day. Yet, in spite of all this - I’ve lived my life with an inexplicable and very deep sense of compassion and wanting to HELP this world, in spite of knowing what it’s capable of and the things we do to each other without so much as a second thought. I can’t even stomach how anyone can exist that way. On the flip side, I don’t come across genuinely highly positive people very often, but when I do - OMG WHAT A FREAKING RUSH!!!! I’ve never done cocaine, but that’s what I imagine it must feel like. Occasionally, I come across people who truly have the highest of intentions and hearts full of love and good humor. I feel it as soon as they approach me. When this happens, I get a very light headed rush, the world starts to look REALLY bright or “bleached” and the internal feeling is like a combination of excited butterflies in the stomach, an absolutely ELECTRIC surge throughout my entire body, very warm pins & needles that give me goosebumps, and I just instantly want to take this person, clone them 30 or 40 times and go to a party with only them. It is the starkest contrast I could imagine. So that’s the basic version. If we want to go even DEEPER into this rabbit hole, I would only tell you about the most recent MONTHS of my life. I can’t even begin to describe the work I’ve been doing on myself and where its taken me. (I will in the near future...) But in short, I’ve begun to accept, embrace and develop these parts of me. Well actually, they’ve kind of been developing themselves. So before, I was basically limited to the definition of a physical and emotional empath. In recent months however, I’ve been cracked so wide open that I’ve been experiencing things that I had no idea my mind was even CAPABLE of perceiving. To name just a couple - The degree of the sensitivities I’ve always had have increased ten fold. If I’m chatting with someone online, I can feel them to the point of their pulse. This is not an exaggeration. I’m willing to bet that some of my friends who are reading this right now are friends that I’ve been chatting with on messenger, and I’ve said something like “Okay, let’s change the topic because I just felt your heart rate spike and your adrenaline kick in”. (I actually feel much more than that, but I still want my friends to TALK to me, so I’ll leave it there for now!) I can feel the intentions and intensity of the energy of people around me in traffic. This tends to be not so much emotional, but rather I feel a spectrum of the quality of people’s energy from SHARP to GENTLE. Those are honestly the best words I can find. Not strong and weak, intense and mellow, but sharp and gentle. Another interesting thing I’ve noticed of late, is people will just randomly start pouring their hearts out to me. Perfect strangers, it can be just helping a customer at work or paying for gas at 7-11; And 2 sentences in, they begin rattling off their entire freaking life story. People give me EVERYTHING. Constantly. This used to happen occasionally, but in recent months, it’s been almost every day that I’m in public, often multiple times a day. This goes beyond just chatty people, it’s flat out rigorous. For me, this is kind of a trap, because once it starts - I can’t get people to stop even if I shout at them to shut up. (Not that I do, that one’s just an allusion.) I don’t understand exactly why this happens, but I have a faint idea that some part of people, probably subconsciously - Feel my receptivity and take it as an invitation to pour out everything they’re holding in. I’ve always been uncomfortable in large crowds. Hell, you don’t have to be even remotely empathic for this! Needless to say, this has also been taken to the extreme. But on the flip side, I can also feel nature every bit as strongly. Being in nature has become my drug in recent months. It takes absolutely everything in me that’s heavy, and replaces it with the most merciful rejuvenation and love that I think I’ve ever felt in this plane of existence. It’s like being beaten up at school by bullies all day, then going home and just crying in your Mom’s arms - It’s something I can’t even come close to putting into words. It’s sentient, and it feels me as I feel it. It’s beyond catharsis, it’s beyond being understood. That’s truly as close as I can get to describing it, I literally don’t have words for it. When I go walking in the ravine by my house, it feels like the trees are my oldest friends who know me better than I know myself. And they know exactly what I need and how I need it. 20 minutes among the trees does more for me than anything any human has ever been able to make me feel, with the sole exception of my wife. It’s unconditional mercy. And to think, I used to think this kind of stuff was for tree huggers...Well, maybe try actually hugging a tree, and see where that takes you! Like I said, there’s a LOT to unpack here, and I’ve only started to scratch the surface. But I can only type so much in one sitting, so I’m going to leave this post as it is here, save for a couple closing words for anyone who resonates with this... Again, the point here isn’t to show off these things or claim that I have something others don’t - We ALL have the exact same abilities to the exact same potential extent. Some of us are simply at different points along our own journey and evolution, there’s no rank to this or any sort of being above, below, ahead of or behind anyone else. We’re just all at different points of our own unique path, and no two among the approximately 8 billion people currently on this planet are the same. So truly, there’s no pissing contest here, so please don’t interpret it that way. The point is to simply SHARE for a couple purposes: To give anyone out there going through similar experiences validation and hopefully a bit of courage to embrace this aspect of their path rather than fear it, be ashamed of it or resent it. The second point is that in sharing this, I’m simply taking my own step towards being as authentic as I can be. This is simply who I am, it’s who I’ve always been. We can’t deny our truest nature and we should never be ashamed of it, and in putting this out there, I’m being true to myself so that hopefully others can be inspired to be true to themselves. Thankyou for helping me realize more of my own personal truth in sharing this with you!