#&&. I have it on other systems like the switch at least but haven't been able to find the chance to re-play it again in full I aM A SHAM

[storybounded]

NO WAY ANOTHER OKAMI GAME....

[maddies-writings]

So I finished Veil Guard.

I don't think it's nearly as bad as some people are making it out to be. I will say I do prefer Inquisition, I think it has more replay value for me personally and I don't think I'll be replaying Veil Guard. I'm going to give a short little review/pros and cons list before talking about how Veil Guard will effect "So Far Away". This will contain spoilers for VG so if you haven't finished the game then all you need to know is that while the game did confirm some of my theories not all of the lore will be canon in my universe.

I think Veil Guard was ok. It wasn't amazing but it wasn't horrible either. I don't think I connected with it as much as Inquisition, especially with the companions. A lot of the decisions game play wise were fine, I just happen to prefer Inquisition's approach.

Like Combat. I was a female Qunari Mage Veil Jumper. The orb and dagger thing was cool. The fact that your companions were immortal was a convenient thing and the combos were cool but I preferred the tactical map and being able to switch between any of my three companions. I wouldn't call VG's combat system a pro or con, at least for me, just that I prefer Inquisition.

Pros:

Character Creation was amazing. I loved all the hair models and hair physics. The sheer amount of customization possible with this game was amazing. The tattoos, scars and makeup. It's those extra cosmetics that can tip the scale in character customization for me. If they don't have those options I usually start looking for mods. You've seen my Evelyn Trevelyan? My Skyrim is modded so much more than my DAI.

The parkour stuff was really good. I'm sure we all remember trying to jump up mountains in Inquisition. VG was much easier to navigate and I loved being able to actually climb stuff, walk across beams and do the ziplines. It was really cool.

The LORE! Seeing the Dread Wolf's regrets with everything like that was amazing! I had theorized that Solas was a spirit that Mythal had either asked or forced to take a solid form. I will say I did not see it coming that they basically created the Blight and sundered the Titans. That was an epic surprise.

The Graphics in this game were gorgeous. Kind of expected considering this game came out ten years after DAI but still. Especially that final mission? Felt like I was watching a movie, seeing Solas in his Dread Wolf form fighting that Arch Demon.

Now time for the cons

Almost no Previous Choices carry over to this game: I'm not saying who I selected to rule Orlais had to be taken into consideration. We are playing in the northern half of Thedas right now and the Orlesian Empire doesn't matter to our goals. But if you chose mages/templars and who you selected as Divine. I know mages are treated better in the north in places like Tevinter or Rivain. Who drank the Well would've also been important. What choices you made with your companions and the like. It would've no doubt changed Solas's opinion on the Inquisitor but I think that would've been great.

Mythal I feel wasn't criticized nearly as much as Solas. I think it would've been cooler if she was eventually revealed as another villain. She kept asking more and more of Solas, requesting that he do horrible things. Remember Flemeth in DAI saying that she wanted a reckoning that would shake the Heavens? What if she was corrupted not by the Blight but by her rage and thirst for revenge? She tried to reason with all of them and they murdered her. Maybe she would've helped us like Solas, making it seem like Solas would betray us but in the end it is she who uses us and Solas as pawns to kill the Evanuris before she attempts to remake the world or some other evil thing? There is a quote in Inquisition about Solas "burning her off his face" meaning Vallaslin and that he was once Mythal's slave. Morrigan also had Mythal inside her after having refused it since Origins (even if she doesn't know it was Mythal) felt like a betrayal to her character. What if Mythal forcibly over took her body or something? Anyways, not super happy with where they went with Mythal but it's not like it ruined the game for me.

Vallaslin and Tevinter Slaves are never really mentioned. I know we see slaves around the Venatori but slavery is legal in Tevinter. In Minrathous, the capital city? There should be slaves EVERYWHERE! Slavery is a massive part of Tevinter and it's only barely touched on. Could've had some missions with the Shadow Dragons that involve freeing slaves. Also, Vallaslin are slave markings, known as blood writting. They were to denote which god the master favored. It would've been amazing to have had the gods use the vallaslin to control elves marked for them. I think Davrin was marked for Ghilan'nain? Imagine if she had seized control of Davrin and forced him to fight us? Maybe what could've made him snap out of it was if Ghilan'nain tried to force him to hurt Assan?

Solavellan ending felt... dry? They haven't seen each other in ten years and all we get is this super gentle kiss from a man who kissed Lavellan like he was drowning? Solas didn't even walk holding hands with her into the Veil/Fade/Mystery Portal? He also didn't really apologize to Lavellan? I was expecting a much more emotional reunion. I knew we wouldn't get to have them live in a nice little cottage in the woods at the end and that they were running with the 'in another world' thing which makes their reunion kind of bitter sweet but it still didn't feel emotional enough. I did not wait this many years for a tiny kiss and not even a true hug. I'm not even super into Solas x Lavellan anymore because I think I read it so much I'm now like "let the other races have a chance with the wolf" and I love cross race pairings. Culture sharing and struggles is one of my favorite tropes. Plus it makes Solas's convictions even harder because he fell for someone who isn't even one of the people.

I'm sure if I wanted to I could think of more stuff for each list but I just finished the game last night and frankly, I probably won't play it again. If I want to see alternate dialogue and choices i can just look them up on YouTube when people inevitably upload them.

Now, onto how this game will effect my writing for So Far Away.

A lot of the theories I had before this game came out ended up being proven true so like with Solas not meaning for the prison for the gods to sunder the elves or how he was originally a spirit who didn't want to become flesh. The reveal won't change that, i had always intended for that to be the case in my story.

The reveal of the blight was a surprise and I think it is super cool, but I don't think I will have that in my story. Not only did I not plan on having the Blight be created by Solas/Mythal but I don't really see the Blight popping up in my story. Because of that i don't really plan on coming up with an alternative origin for it? It was just always there. Some kind of darkness in Thedas. Like I said, don't think I need to come up with an explanation for something that won't effect my story.

I also don't plan on including the Lighthouse. Just assume if it wasn't in Inquisition it probably won't be there because I never read the books or comics.

My story is obviously an AU I created before VG came out so while I may take some inspiration from this and may even have some character cameos from Veil Guard (You can't tell me Solas and Emmerich wouldn't be the best of buddies) It won't really change what I plan on for my story.

I haven't been writing because of job hunting and playing Veil Guard but I've found a job and finished the game. The chapter is more than half way done. i should post it soon. Anyways, thanks for reading my thoughts and please make sure to check out my Solas x Trevelyan political marriage au if you're reading this and haven't yet for some reason.

Love you guys!

[bluestar22x]

The Fallen Warrior: Chapter 2

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader (nicknamed Willow)

Other Characters: Ellie Williams, Tommy Miller

Summary: A nephal can only remain hidden for so long

Rating: 18+ Series

Word Count: 4,300(ish)

Warnings: Fowl language, angst, POV switches, nods to show's plot continues

Author’s Note: Back at it again. I know I'm so slow to update this one, but it's getting where I should be able to post more often real soon. Fingers crossed.

xxx

"So how's Ellie settling in?" Tommy asked as you sat down at a table in the local bar with him and Joel, beers in hand.

It had been a week since you'd taken her in, eight days to be exact, and it was the first day you'd dared to leave the house for anything but groceries, having taken some time off of work to help the girl transition into living with you.

"Alright," you told him honestly. "Ellie's got a mouth on her, and she doesn't like talking about her past, but I can tell she really wants this to work out..."

"However?" Joel prompted, having heard the pause at the end of your sentence.

"However the adoption agency side of things isn't going well," you said, "I haven't told them about Ellie yet, she's made me swear not to until I get approved, but I went to see all the officials I needed to see to get permission to adopt a kid and it turns out it is going to be a lot harder than I expected. Did you know it can take up to six months or more to get an okay? And even if I do get it, that doesn't mean they'll let me adopt her in particular."

"Well, that's just stupid," Tommy commented, after taking a sip from his bottle. "Why wouldn't they let you pick her? Or her you? Surely if she wants to live with you that would be that."

You sighed. "You'd think so, but apparently it doesn't work that way."

"Fuckin' red tape," Tommy muttered.

You chuckled. "Yeah. But I'm going to save the cursing for later, if it doesn't happen. I'm not giving up hope yet. If I have to fight for her I will."

"What will ya do if they don't let you take her in officially?" Joel inquired.

You huffed. "I have no fucking idea. What I'm doing now is technically illegal. Harboring a runaway, they call it. She can't stay with me for the whole process or I'll risk them finding out. And if they turn me down, she'll be stuck in the foster system once more until she runs off again. Who knows where she'll end up after that."

Joel's expression turned grim, knowing fully well where she'd end up. On the sharp side of an angel's blade.

"Well, we won't let that happen," Tommy assured you.

You scoffed. "Sorry, but what are you going to do? Take me and Ellie on the run with you?"

"Maybe not," he said, "But Joel and I can give you glowing references as we planned. That's a start at least."

You smiled. "Thanks. Though I could probably use some aiding and abetting if that's too much to ask. I don't want you guys to get into trouble, but I could use some assistance tomorrow."

Tommy raised his brows in surprise. "Oh?"

"There's a lady that's supposed to stop by to check out the house tomorrow," you explained. "Ellie obviously can't be there when she shows up. I was hoping you two would watch her for me. Keep her at your place until she's gone."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Joel told you. "She don't like me."

"She didn't trust you," you said. "There's a difference. But she knows you and Tommy are friends. If I tell her it's the only way she'll jump at it."

Joel and Tommy shared a look of concern.

"She won't tear the house down," you promised them.

"That's not what I'm worried about," Joel said.

"If the lady finds out Ellie's a runaway I will tell her I lied to you and that you both didn't know," you added.

He grunted. "Not that either."

"We'll look after her," Tommy decided, interrupting you both. "That's what friends are for, right?"

"I'm probably asking a bit too much of our friendship," you mused.

He shook his head. "Don't matter. Just means you'll owe us when we have to bury a body."

You snorted. "Ha ha. You think you're hilarious."

He flashed you a wide grin. "Cause I am."

You rolled your eyes and shoved his shoulder. "Sure, cowboy."

There was nothing to be done that night about it, so you changed the subject after that, trying to keep things light.

But while Tommy was on board, you could tell Joel wasn't. For the rest of the night he was quieter than you'd seen him in a while, clearly mulling over something. But whenever he got this way and you asked what was bugging him he'd just say "nothin'" and that was that, so you didn't bother.

You'd later realize that his "nothin'" was actually a hell of a lot.

x

When they got back home at eleven, Joel and Tommy parted ways for a while.

Tommy was going to stake out your place for a few hours and reinforce the invisible wards that he and Joel had put up on your house the night Ellie had moved in. It would keep her hidden from other angels, or at least make it difficult for them to pinpoint exactly where she was.

It was also taking a little bit of their power away every time they renewed it, but it wasn't like they weren't already getting closer and closer to being completely mortal anyway. Being cut off from Heaven (and Hell) did that to an angel.

It was probably why Joel didn't sense the angel in his kitchen until after he turned the lights on and saw him.

The angel was unassuming looking in appearance and stature. Small by adult human standards, barely reaching five foot two inches and bony all over, but it was an illusion, just like the way he was lounging in one of the kitchen table's chairs, as if he had no care in the world. Joel remembered him instantly. He hadn't been there the day Jophiel had struck down Eva, but he was her finest soldier. Her right hand man, as humans put it. To forget him would have been dangerous.

Joel froze in place by the edge of the room, fear coursing through his veins. "Zuriel."

"Jaoel, brother." The angel smiled, but it was not warm. "Nice to see you again. It's been a while. What have you been up to?"

"You don't get to know," Joel said gruffly. "You here to kill me finally?"

"We gave up chasing you centuries ago," Zuriel stated, swinging one leg over his other casually. "That ended the target on your back. Michael and Jophiel don't care that you and Thomas are here anymore, so long as you continue to not be in our way and you do not...reproduce."

His expression twisted in disgust, the idea of mating with a human absolutely repulsive to him. What resulted was even worst as far as he was concerned.

Joel had already heard it from him way back when the first nephilim had begun showing up on Earth.

"Then why are you here?" Joel asked, making fists with his hands and clenching his jaw.

"You do not know?" Zuriel questioned, quickly playing off his initial surprise. "There's a nephal nearby. We can't quite pinpoint where it is, and we were wondering if you had sensed it?"

"No," Joel lied. "You know what it's like for fallen angels. Thomas and I have been here too long to recognize others by their power easily. I didn't even know you were here until I saw you with my own eyes."

Zuriel hummed. "True. And no chance it's yours?"

"Fuck you, Zuri," Joel hissed.

He huffed. "I'm not your type."

"Out!" Joel snarled, pointing to the front door. "We haven't done anything worthy of you bothering us. Go on your way."

Zuriel hopped onto his feet and strolled over to him, a smirk plastered on his face. "Careful how you speak to me, Jaoel. You're not an archangel anymore. You can't be sure you can still win a fight against me."

Joel narrowed his eyes at him. "An even playing field has never perturbed me."

"True."

Zuriel passed him and headed for the door. "If you notice anything, you know how to summon me."

"Why would I help you?" Joel inquired, his jaw starting to hurt from how tense he was keeping it. He'd forgotten how good Zuriel was at getting under people's skin. He'd never been the one under attack. Zuriel had never toyed with Jaoel. He'd once respected him; but that was a long time ago, before Jaoel had loss much of his power and changed his name to Joel.

"Cause if you don't, if you hide a nephal from us, we will end you," Zuriel said over his shoulder. "And we'll make sure Thomas is first."

With that, he stepped out of the house and banged the door behind him.

Joel was left fuming, still standing at the entrance of the kitchen.

The anger quickly morphed into dread.

It was only a question of how long he and Tommy would be able to hide you and Ellie from Zuriel and the others. They already knew Ellie was in the city. Eventually they'd figure it out, wards or not, and it would be in a matter of days, not weeks.

Joel wanted to rush over to your house immediately and tell you to follow him, go on the run with him and Tommy, but he knew to convince you he'd have to reveal the truth about himself to you, and he wasn't quite ready for that yet.

Besides, Zuriel could be watching. It would be better to wait. At least until after your meeting with the adoption agency's representative.

It was an excuse, but he needed time to pack and plan anyway.

x

It was one in the afternoon when you walked Ellie over to the Millers' house, an hour before the representative from the adoption agency was supposed to show up.

When you entered with her, Joel and Tommy joined you both by the door and exchanged brief greetings with you.

"Ellie, this is Tommy and Joel." You waved your hand at each of them as you spoke their names and she nodded.

"Remember what I told you," you pleaded, taking one of her hands in yours.

Ellie huffed. "Yeah, yeah, best behavior, they're your friends."

You kissed her temple before she could avoid it, and you turned to the brothers.

"Thanks again for watching her."

"No need," Tommy insisted.

"Okay, I'd better go," you said, backing away. "I'll come back to pick Ellie up as soon as the visit is done."

"Good luck," Tommy said.

"Thanks!" you called out as you left the house. The screen door slammed behind you, and then there were three.

Ellie glanced awkwardly over at Tommy, then at Joel. "Soooo...got any board games?"

"No games," Joel said shortly, turning away, still not liking the idea of being stuck with the kid for a few hours, even though he was trying to save her.

"We got movies," Tommy offered, gesturing for her to follow him into the living room. "You can pick one to watch."

"Do you have hot chocolate?" she asked.

Joel couldn't help but stop and turn to face her, eyebrows arched. "You want hot chocolate in eighty degree weather?"

"Willow has it almost every night," she replied defensively. "Says it's her go-to cheat treat. I'd never had it before she had me try it a few days ago and I like it too. What does it matter if it's not winter? Texas never actually gets a real winter."

She had him there.

"We have some in the kitchen pantry," Tommy told her. "You know how to use a water boiler?"

"I'm fourteen fuckin' years old," she muttered after rolling her eyes. "Of course I know how to use one."

She strolled into the kitchen and Joel followed her, observing quietly as she grabbed the appliance off the counter and headed for the sink to fill it up.

He'd been thinking all day about giving her an invisible ward that would help her hide better from the angels outside of your home, and how he would manage to do it. He didn't know if a better opportunity would come up, so he took it.

He raced over to the sink as she opened the faucet up and snatched up her wrist, shutting the water stream off at the same time. Using more of his power he burned the invisible ward into the skin under his fingertips and she hissed at the brief but sharp pain that resulted from it before yanking her arm away from him.

"What's your problem, dude?" she snapped. "Crazy old man."

"Can't use the tap water for drinkin'," Joel explained. Another lie in two days. "It's not safe. Got arsenic. We've got a jug of water in the fridge, use that."

Ellie looked at him oddly then headed for the refrigerator and used the water inside instead.

She boiled the water all by herself with Joel hovering and Tommy plopped down in one of the kitchen chairs, neither of them having anything better to do. They were supposed to be watching her and that's what they were doing, even if it made her clearly uncomfortable, from the way she kept glancing at them.

Once the water was at a high boil she shut off the appliance and Joel handed her one of their plain green mugs, getting it from an upper cabinet that was too high for her to reach.

"Thanks," she said awkwardly before pouring a pack of powdered hot chocolate into the mug.

She went on to add the water, but she tipped the boiler over a little too fast as she did so and some of the hot liquid dripped onto her left hand that was holding the mug in place.

Cursing she jumped away from the bar the mug was set on and let go of the boiler so she could focus on cradling her freshly burnt hand.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!"

Joel sprung into action, carefully grabbing the injured hand with his right one and guiding her over to the sink again to put her reddening skin under a cool, steady flow of water to soothe her pain.

"Keep your hand under there for a while," he ordered her, and she glanced up at him, surprised. It took a moment for Joel to figure out it was because of the gentleness in his touch and voice.

It had been all so automatic, something he'd done more than once for Eva when she'd burnt herself while cooking, although then it had been a bucket of water he'd used. Eva had never been careful enough when she got distracted for one reason or another.

Joel cleared his thickening throat and backed off. "I'll go wait in the living room."

He didn't look at Tommy as he passed, not wanting to see what his expression might be. No doubt his curiosity would have been piqued by his quick action and tenderness.

It was nothing to think about. He'd gotten used to it; caring for mortal beings, humans and sheep alike. They all had been so easily hurt. And he'd always been there to tend to them. But only a select few. Only the sheep on the farm. Only Eva and Sarah. Only those that meant something to him.

His attentiveness had simply been instilled into him. He didn't actually care about Ellie, not beyond wanting to prevent another nephal from dying on his watch anyway.

But that, in no doubt, was not what Tommy would be assuming, so Joel avoided his gaze.

He didn't want to question it too.

x

Ellie was three minutes into digging through their video tape and DVD collection when she threw her hands up in defeat.

"How can I choose?" she exclaimed. "These movies are all for ancient people!" She picked up one of them, an aged video tape of The Maltese Falcon. "This one's even in black and white!"

"Hey, that one's a classic," Joel argued from his spot on the couch, a little insulted.

She nodded vigorously. "Oh, I know."

Tommy, sitting in the chair in the corner of the room, grinned and almost laughed, but a glare from Joel shut it down.

Ellie sighed and put the tape away on their movie shelf. "Unless a copy of Jurassic Park manifests out of nowhere I'm going to need your input. Something made after 1980 at the very least."

"We could watch Young Guns," Tommy suggested. "Haven't watched that one in a while. It's based on Billy the Kid's story. The outlaw."

"I know who he was," she said before turning back to Joel. "What about you."

"Curtis and the Viper 2," Joel and Tommy answered in unison.

Ellie beamed at them. "That sounds so random. What's it about?"

Joel shrugged. "Nothin' much really."

"Dude, you recommended it," she said.

"It's about a young man named Curtis who has to fight his enemy, known as the Viper, to save his wife from him," Joel explained hesitantly.

Ellie searched through the DVDs to find it and lit up when she saw the cover. "Is this some kind of karate movie?"

"Kung Fu," Joel corrected.

"Basically the same thing."

"Karate is a Japanese martial art," he told her. "Kung Fu is Chinese."

Ellie smirked. "Whatever you say, old man."

She removed the disc from its case and slid it into the DVD player under the TV. "I might like this one. Karate, Kung Fu, they're all cool."

Joel silently agreed. He'd never tried it for himself, had always opted for an efficient bawling style of fighting when he hadn't had a blade in hand, but he had full respect for Eastern Asian martial artists. They trained hard and had the skills to show for it.

Ellie did end up engrossed in the film, seemingly enjoying the skillful fighting as much as he did, more so than the actual plot.

She spent most of the movie leaning forward on her elbows, eyes rarely straying from the screen.

But by the time the credits were rolling, she was fast asleep, head pressed against the armrest of the couch opposite to where Joel was sitting, her socked feet brushing against his thigh.

It reminded him of all the times Sarah used to fall asleep beside him, legs swung over his, or head on his lap.

He could feel Tommy watching him observe Ellie, but he ignored him, too lost in the moment and his memories.

Okay, maybe he did care about her. Nothing grand, just a basic fondness. She was as snappy as any human could get, a real pain in the ass at times, but he admired her strength of will, and he could see the innocence she was hiding somewhere deep inside. It was all in her eyes, ones not so unlike Sarah's.

And Ellie was the same age as Sarah had been when she'd died.

Maybe it was a sign. A sign that he was meant to protect her. Why God would want him to eluded him, but that was typical.

A sudden knock at the back door startled both Joel and Tommy and woke Ellie up. She rubbed her eyes and glanced around as the brothers sprung to their feet warily.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Stay here," Joel commanded. "Tommy, you too."

Tommy nodded and stood by Ellie to guard her while Joel headed for the door cautiously.

When he opened it a female angel was standing on the other side, slim but not skinny, pale with straight midnight hair that reached her middle back, and almond shaped eyes that stared into his soul.

He knew her well, just like his previous visitor. He stiffened, not sure what to expect from her. "Celina, what are you doing here?"

"I came to warn Thomas," she replied. "And you. I know we never interacted much, but Thomas was my friend, and so you are too. Zuriel is on his way. He knows you are harboring the nephal."

"You told him," Joel growled. Assuming.

"No!" she shouted. "I would not. I may be working under Zuriel, but I don't agree with any of them. I differ in their opinion that she must be destroyed. I have always. No being should be condemned for what they are. Only by what they do. And she has not harmed anyone to our knowledge."

"Who figured it out then?" Joel inquired.

"William," she answered. "He is a newborn angel. Trained by Zuriel himself. He was standing watch nearby and sensed her while she and her guardian were walking over to your house. Saw her. They've been planning ever since. Waiting until dark so they could attack without gaining the attention of prying human eyes."

"You need to go," Joel said. "They'll kill you if they find out you warned us."

"Not before you know," Celina paused, "They have more plans for the nephal girl than death. For the last century the demons have been rising again. More than ever before are breaking out of Hell. Michael wants to drain the nephal dry of her blood and use that blood, the power in it, to strengthen the weakening gates, to prevent more demons from walking the Earth. She is the key to saving the world."

"There must be some other way," Joel protested.

"In a way," Celina told him. "We need a lot of nephal blood, too much for anyone to survive if it were taken all at once, but her blood does not need to be fresh. It will strengthen the gates enough for the barrier to last for centuries even without a sacrifice. Joel, promise me you will keep her safe, but also promise me you will drain her of her blood, put it aside, and use it once you have enough. The world will end if you do not take the risk of going to the alter."

"Even if I did do that, I do not know the incantation to use," he admitted.

Celina shoved a hand in the back pocket of her jeans and handed him a piece of folded paper. "This has everything on it that you need to know to complete the ritual; including which alter to seek."

Her eyes darted left to right. She made shooing gestures at him. "Now, with all respect archangel, get out of here, now!"

He tipped his head at her. "Thank you, Celina."

He got a stern look in return. "Don't make me regret it."

Joel kept his eyes on her long enough to see her unfurl her dark wings and fly away, then rushed into the living room.

"I heard everything," Tommy told him when he entered.

"Get Ellie into the truck," Joel ordered him. "I'm going to empty the safe of our cash and throw some necessities in the duffel bag. One minute."

Tommy nodded and turned to Ellie. "You heard him."

She folded her arms. "I'm not going anywhere with you unless Willow comes, and until I know what the fuck is going on."

"Bad people are coming for you," Joel explained.

She blinked at him in disbelief. "What?" Why?"

"No time to tell a story," he told her. "We will answer all your questions later."

"I'm still not going without Willow," she declared.

"We'll get her too," Tommy promised. "I'll go get her. Just stick by Joel."

He shared a glance with him and Joel gave Tommy a single nod of permission. There was no use fighting Ellie over it and you were likely in danger too, especially if Zuriel arrived to an abandoned house. He would seek you out; demand to know where he'd taken Ellie.

Tommy darted across the street, and Joel got to work shoving whatever he could into a single duffle bag that he kept in the main closet for emergency use. There were already supplies in it, toothbrushes and paste, combs and spare clothing for him and Tommy, but he had much more to add in. The money, their blades, their fake IDs and passports, small drinks and snacks. The bag barely zipped when he was finished.

He and Ellie were out the door when you and Tommy reached the truck.

"I'm not going anywhere with you until you tell me what's going on," you said, hand on hip.

"There's no time!" he exclaimed.

"Then you'd better be quick," you told him.

"Fine," he spat, tired of humans resisting him. Why couldn't you and Ellie just trust him?

"There's angels after Ellie," he revealed.

You scoffed. "I was thinking serial killer, but that's even better. Are you missing some meds or somethin'? This isn't like you."

"It's true," Tommy insisted.

"And how do you know that?"

"'Cause we're ones too," he admitted, letting his wings free to stretch wide out, not caring if any of the other neighbors saw. There were more important matters now.

Your jaw dropped as you stared at them, as did Ellie's.

Joel just sighed. He really would miss Austin.

"Holy shit, his wings are fucking real!" Ellie gasped. "Willow, they're fucking real!"

You swallowed hard. "Why are they after her?"

"We will tell you both everything once we're all safe," Joel swore. "But if we don't leave now, I won't get the chance to."

You nodded and turned to Ellie. "Get in the truck."

"They're fucking angels, Willow!" Ellie yelled.

"And they're friends," you said. "Go on."

Ellie watched as Tommy tucked his wings away once more then turned quickly to climb into the backseat, leaving the door open for you.

With a final glance to Joel and Tommy, you followed her in.

xxx

Tagged: @harriedandharassed @solanumofthestars

xxx

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[caintooth]

Okay this is a little weird but I have a DID question.

I had a friend in high school who claimed to have DID. I met several alleged alters and she really would change a lot between personalities, even seeming stronger, having a higher body temp, and having different handwriting as certain alters. She also definitely had a real, terrible childhood that I could see causing her to split off an alter for protection. At the time I was about 80% convinced.

It's been years and we're still good friends, but she hasn't mentioned any alters since high school, and she has also not mentioned being able to integrate some or all of her alters, even tho we talk about mental health often. I haven't seen her be (or at least I haven't noticed her being) any of the alters I would recognize from high school. But I also used to spend almost every day with her and now I go weeks or months without hanging out with her so my sample size is smaller.

Starting a few months after I stopped seeing her every day I started to become more skeptical of her claim to have DID, because it felt a bit too much like a movie to me at the time. Sometimes I could request time with a specific alter and they would show up, but sometimes they wouldn't. It didn't seem like she was someone else without willing it, very often if ever. She had like 3 main alters when she told me about it - a protector, a little kid, and one more I can't remember and didn't see often - and she allegedly acquired a cat alter sometime after that.

I'm split about it now. I believed her for the most part at the time, because she really did seem different, but I also knew that was the kind of thing high schoolers sometimes lie about so I was always mildly suspicious. Now looking back I feel bad doubting her because if she was telling the truth, it would probably really hurt her to know I doubted her. But also that is the kind of thing high schoolers sometimes lie about! I had other friends lie about similar shit. And I haven't seen any evidence in so long and it hasn't come up in just as long.

I've always wanted to ask her about it but I don't want to embarrass her or harm our friendship which is still strong despite this question lol. I know you're not a doctor and it can be dangerous to speculate, but I just wondered what your perspective as someone with DID is?

This is such a strange thing to anonymously ask a stranger.

Are you hoping I’ll tell you she was faking? Are you hoping I’ll validate your assumptions about her inner life? What you have described is incredibly textbook for DID.

To help you understand, let me explain that Dissociative Identity Disorder presents in two ways, typically: overtly, or covertly.

An “overt” presentation is as you were describing her high school presentation— the disorder is easier to see as an outside viewer, because an “overt” presenter has (comparatively) more visible switches between alters, with (comparatively) more noticeable differences between their abilities, voices, interests, personalities, mannerisms, etc.

And so, a “covert” presentation is the opposite of this, where the disorder is not very obvious to an outside viewer at all. Switches may seem seamless, or they may seem to not switch at all. Alters do not have as many outwardly visible differences, may have similar or same voices and mannerisms, may not speak openly about their differing opinions or likes/dislikes.

DID is a disorders which forms, as you acknowledge, to protect the haver from trauma. And because the disorder is trying to protect you, it can shift between “overt” to “covert” presentation as needed.

A system may present more overtly, for example, if some alters are better emotionally or physically equipped for a task than others, if some alters are more likely to be treated in the way the system most needs at the time, if some alters have stronger interests and knowledge about a certain subject, etc. And many systems, myself included, find themselves presenting more overtly simply when they are safe and comfortable with the people around them!

In contrast, then, a system may present more covertly when it is not safe to have visible differences, and/or to help disguise the system as one person. Alters may mimic each other to help keep their differences from putting them in danger, and this can happen so discreetly that the system themself may not even be aware of switching when it happens. This being said, systems can also present covertly just because super visible differences are not needed to keep them safe / if being outwardly visibly different from one another doesn’t serve as much of a purpose as being inwardly different.

Systems can also move between these modes for other reasons besides safety and comfort, but as far as I know, those are the main two reasons. And I want to clarify that this move isn’t, most of the time, a conscious choice. The disorder kinda decides for you.

So, if your friend who once presented very overtly around you and spoke of their DID often, is now showing a much more covert presentation and not sharing details of their disorder with you… I have two guesses.

One, your friend may simply be in a different phase of their life, where they don’t feel the need to share many details of their DID with you. People can decide to be more private about things they were once open about, and there’s nothing wrong or suspicious about that.

Two… Your friend is presenting covertly around you for comfort and safety reasons. Maybe they no longer consider you a person they can openly be themselves around.

You might want to reflect on why either of these reasons might be the case. I am not going to tell you your friend is faking. Everything you described is very typical of DID and, again, I think it is very strange you would come into my ask box seeking my opinion on this, as if you assume I, and very good friends of mine, have not presented in similar ways throughout different points in our lives.

Have you considered, I don’t know— just asking about how her headmates have been doing lately? This is indeed a very weird way to handle your feelings about this.

[sophieinwonderland]

what do you and ghost and other alters each like? as in hobbies and interests :o)

Can I tell you a secret? I'm actually the most boring tulpa ever. My primary interest is plural stuff. 🤫

Okay, maybe that's only partially true. See, I've always been fascinated with human psychology since before I became self-aware. I liked knowing what made people tick. I liked understanding the human brain.

And I feel like people don't fully appreciate how incredible it is that such an advanced piece of computing hardware came about through countless permutations of life beginning billions of years ago. Everything about our ability to think and feel emotions and perceive the world is incredible!

And we still don't understand it! We've learned to send people to the moon, we've seen 13 billions year into the past. We've discovered the building blocks of all matter, and found particles even smaller than those.

But we don't know how our brains work or what makes us tick.

So when I became self-aware and learned what I was, it was something new to marvel at. Because no one... really knew. Like, "multiple personalities" had been studied for about a hundred years exclusively in the context of trauma. But there hasn't been much effort to connect that to other similar phenomena like spiritual possession or other forms of voice hearing. And what research does exist is hard to track down.

So there are times when, as I joke above, I feel kind of bad because my primary interest is in plural psychology...

But at the same time, I feel like... how could it not be? How could I not discover my existence and then want to unravel its mysteries so I can understand myself and those like me better? When I realized that I had been thinking for myself for months even as I had been convinced I was imaginary... How could I not be amazed at this incredible potential of the human mind I discovered?

And it feels like we're on the cutting edge of understanding things most actual psychologists haven't really pieced together yet.

One of my favorite posts that I've written is the Manifestations post. And I mean, I think most of the information there was already in the community, albeit scattered. I think most systems knew headmates could exist in the inner world, they could switch, and they could be in a state where they're in the head but without any form. And the tulpamancy community at least knew imposition was a thing, and a lot of other plurals have described similar experiences. I don't think headmates being able to manifest in objects through Inhabitation is quite common knowledge yet. (And I had to coin Inhabitation myself.)

But even for those who knew of these experiences separately, I've never seen anyone put it together in a model like this, saying "here are these five distinct states headmates can be in while conscious."

And so that's a post I feel really proud of, for trying to codify experiences in ways that I think can make them easier to understand.

And I love expanding my understanding of plural psychology and developing new ways to think about it.

...

Anyway, Ghost likes superheroes, Star Wars, card games and stuff. Also Brandon Sanderson books.🤷‍♀️

(Abby is our local artist. But we're not that good at art so she doesn't do it very much, and the others don't really front all that much to develop their own hobbies.)

We have other interests too, but they tend to be more fleeting and on rotation rather being consistent.

...

Oh, and we're not alters. We don't use that word. And I don't really like it because of the association with "alternate personality." (Although nobody seems to be able to agree what alter actually means or where it came from.) It feels to me like it just sort of boils headmates down to what we look like to singlets. Personalities that takeover the body. And it erases the rich diversity of plural experiences.

[red-bat-arse]

Injection Tips for Needle Nervous

From someone who had to deal with a fear of needles while learning how to do testosterone shots. To be clear, I'm 28 years old and have been doing weekly IM injections in my thighs for 18 months.

PREP -Listen to the information given for the possible injection sites; you may prefer or find it easier to deal with IM vs SubQ based on the options your doctor gives you. If you're able, schedule at least 6-8 injection days of clinic visits so a nurse can teach you how to inject properly, and you can take your time absorbing. If you're still nervous, try purchasing a 'shot blocker' since they can help with not feeling the needle. If it's the possible pain that bothers you, I used to pinch hard at the area with my nails to sort of say 'that's what you're expecting, see, it's not that bad!' This technique has also helped me with getting my blood drawn, which to go on T you'll have to deal with as well.

ROUTINE -Once I left the supervision of the clinic nurses and started injecting at home, I made sure to establish a routine. You'll need to find your own, and here's mine for reference; with a little wiggle room (like doing it in the morning if I know I'll be busy in the evening) I stick to the same rhythm every week. Set up my station, use the toilet (you don't want to be antsy handling a needle), press play on a song and wash hands, then my draw system [sanitize stopper, draw, switch needle size, get rid of air bubbles, adjust to relax, sanitize thigh, breathe, inject, pressure with a tissue until the song ends], then I clean up and put the needles immediately in my sharps box. It really helps to know exactly what you're getting into so unexpected changes (like injecting while a little drunk, I don't recommend this but it might happen) are easier to handle.

DISCIPLINE -I put on a 5 minute song and do my whole routine in that time, it works for me. Too short and you'll feel rushed, too long and you might procrastinate, so get into the habit. I give myself a four hour window and as soon as I feel like I could do it, I go for it.

CHILL -As mentioned, I put on a song, for me stoner metal or blues works the best since it soothes and zones me in. I do my shot in the evening so if I freak out a bit I can just go to bed. I put on my comfiest layers and have a treat after, too.

EXPERIMENT -While there are aspects of it all you must do a certain way, you won't always know the best way to do things for yourself of available options even once you've been taught, so let yourself feel it out. I was shown the quick jab method at first to get over my hesitation, but now I find I feel it less if I insert the needle slowly. I switched from 25G to 22G needles when the smaller size proved more difficult to inject due to the consistency of testosterone, and I also found a shorter needle length got rid of some residual anxiety over the actual insertion part. I used to do everything in the morning and now I solely do it in the evening. You can change some parts of the process to make yourself feel better! 

FRIEND -I've got an assistant who sits on my other leg while I go through my routine, his name is Snippers;

And I've found I'm less jittery with him there and my heart races less in the preamble to actually piercing skin. I keep him with me afterwards especially if I had a harder time than usual, which can happen even after doing this a long time.

And lastly;

BELAY THAT -Give yourself an out. Besides a situation like if I run out before my prescription can get refilled, I told myself I could skip one (1) injection per year, if I was having a super bad time and just couldn't. So far I haven't had to use it -at the most I've just waited until the next evening. My doctor has said that's fine and I don't have to inform her if I skip once, but that might not be the same for everyone. Either way I think giving yourself breathing room is essential to take the pressure off -self-injecting might be affirming, but it isn't always fun or easy!

I also think it should go without saying that these tips are things that have helped based on my own personal experience from the past year and a half. It's fine if they don't work for you or you don't think they're helpful at all -the trans* experience is wide and varied. I'm also not giving anyone medical advice -always learn how to properly administer your medication from a professional. Here is an article about general HRT self injection that may be some help.

But, if you do have difficulty with needles, hopefully this gave you some tips and tricks that could make the process feel more manageable.

[gar-a-ash]

Oh my fucking god so I went and got the follow up ultrasound for that cyst and got a voicemail a week later saying "Hey, the cyst cleared up, call us back if you have any questions!" and obviously I did not have any questions except annoyance that it wasn't the problem because my symptoms keep getting worse and worse and then when I called them back yesterday about something completely different the RECEPTIONIST tells me "Oh by the way the nurse wanted to talk to you about the fibroid they found" like???????? YOU COULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING IN THE VOICEMAIL YOU LEFT A MONTH AGO?

Anyways I called to explicitly ask about getting a local anesthetic for an IUD placement because I need to be on a hormonal birth control to manage my symptoms (which is failing) and they told me I really needed to be switched off the pill because it's been over ten years and I was informed that they will NOT offer me a local. Refusing to give me one. They want to give me something for my anxiety and have me take an Advil beforehand. Getting a local is not an option. The reason I initially went is because I haven't been able to have penetrative sex in three years because it's so painful. But they will not give me a local. Also they didn't think informing me about the fibroid they found was a concern. This is the same medical system that found lumps of mystery tissue next to my spine and said it's probably not a big deal so there's no need to investigate it. Other doctors out of this system are at least an hour's drive away.

I fucking hate the medical system in the US.

[the-astrophel-system]

took those questions from one of the "system ask games" and answering them here. why? bc i wanna answer them, i dont wanna wait for asks, and you cant stop me /lh

🥀 - do you keep track of your alter count? how do you do so?

yeah we do! or at least try to. we personally have done it through journalling and using simply plural. we mainly use sp now, as journalling is more so for communication / vent / memory purposes.

🫀 - do you have non-human alters? what species are they?

yeah! just over half of us are 'non-human', but that varies from part human (fae, hybrids, mermaids, etc) to full animals (cat, fox) and even objects.

🍄 - when did you realise you had a complex dissociative disorder?

i believe the body was 13? eh ill say 13-14 years old, as a bit of a range because there was about a year and a bit of researching and tracking symptoms and whatnot before we really understood / knew we had it.

📻 - do you experience amnesia?

yes a lot. whether it emotional amnesia or grey outs, or forgetting day-to-day things, yeah. a lot of amnesia can happen with switches, though its rarely black-outs for us, and sometimes we have amnesia even when there hasn't been a switch.

🥩 - who was the most recent split?

for personal reasons, not gonna answer this one <33

🦴 - do you have an innerworld? what does it look like?

oh my fuck, we could make a whole post about our innerworld and all the different areas. we do have an innerworld, and its existed for as long as i can remember. its changed over time and some places change how it looks daily, but we can make a whole post about it all.

🦷 - what’s a fun fact about the current fronter(s)?

ooooh a fun fact abt me. i would sayyyy, i named myself after a character in a fanfiction <3

💀 - is your system more overt or covert?

covert. when we're with people we trust and feel safe with, we present more overtly. however with day-to-day, its definitely covert. our switches can be smooth, or sometimes we straight up leave the room and have privacy. we all tend to mask, even if its just a little bit. if you knew we were a system, you might be able to catch a switch here or there. but i think thats only if you know what you're looking for.

🍷 - does your music taste differ from alter to alter? how?

a bit, yeah. mostly all of us kinda like alt or indie music. some of us love musicials while others dont. skye, she fucking loves raps, while others cant stand rap music. some like more heavier music, while pretty much all our syskids like soft songs. we have different playlists on spotify that haven't been updated in months </3

🦇 - do you have any friends with CDDs?

yes we have one with a cdd <3

📺 - are you “heavy” with any type of alter? (e.g. syskid-heavy, introject-heavy, etc.)

we are non-human (57.6%), and 'brainmade' heavy (65.8%). were the percentages needed? ofc not. did i still spend 20 mins figuring it out? yeah.

if you have any questions abt our system, or want us to do another of these (if we can find another) just let us know!

- clem (she/her)

[prismit]

ok finished the dlc (not 100% yet though) lol so here's my thoughts

positives:

INFINITE FLIGHT IS SO NICEEEE GETTING AROUND AREAS WITH A LOT OF CLIFFS DOESN'T FEEL LIKE A CHORE ANYMORE

the synchro machine is so cool. so cool. it's so much less restricted than i thought it would be, like as far as i can tell the only restrictions are that you don't really have any vertical mobility, and you can only do it in the terarium. i also imagine it'll be huge for shiny hunting things like minior since it makes auto battling so much smoother. also minior is back and that's another positive :D (EDIT: nevermind about the shiny hunting thing, just learned that your pokemon WILL kill shinies while using it. also now that i think about it, if you found a shiny while in sync mode you wouldn't be able to catch it anyways since when you exit sync mode you go back to your trainer's position and the shiny would despawn. still good for getting 60 ko's in outbreaks though. btw yes i learned this the hard way BUT fortunately i did think to save before trying it so the sacrificial shiny deerling has been caught)

i do like that bbqs give an incentive to just run around and do things you normally wouldn't, instead of just fast travelling everywhere. another thing that makes getting from place to place less tedious, since you feel like the journey is working towards other things on top of just getting where you need to be

the music!!! the music!!!

i immediately fell in love with all the elite four members lmao like their designs and personalities are so fun

the story is pretty good too! definitely not as good as the base game but either way, these games kept strong with the writing all the way through imo (by pokemon standards, anyway. lol)

the new pokemon designs are so cool!!! i think there's 3 i still haven't seen yet but i'm looking forward to them!

negatives:

THE RETURNING LEGENDARIES ARE SHINY LOCKED. WHY. if it weren't for the synchro machine and the fact that they play their original battle themes, i would have literally 0 incentive to encounter them (and i'm aware that that's just a me thing but like. come ON). i hope whoever came up with the idea of shiny locking pokemon has a noticeable stomach ache for the rest of their life.

also on the synchro machine, one annoying little thing about it is that you can't use it if you sent out your pokemon while riding ko/miraidon. as in, even if you get off your mount, you still have to retrieve your pokemon and send it back out before it lets you sync. i imagine this is unintended, and i hope they fix it but they don't really have a good track record of fixing small annoyances like this. (edit: nevermind???? i have no idea how it works actually. sometimes it just says you can't and doesn't say why)

i wish switch games would stop making their camera functions send pictures directly to the system's photo album instead of having an in-game album, and then having little repeatable tasks that require you to take pictures. i don't want 700 pictures of swimming pokemon clogging up my sd card, please at least have a "do you want to save this image" prompt or something

and that's all i can say for now! i still have a bunch of side stuff to do but there's my post-credits thoughts :) overall i really like the dlc!!! the negatives are all pretty small and are very much outweighed by the positives for me. just sucks about the shiny locks though >:/

[shitty-goose-quack]

hey! pippa here :-)

i was wondering how common it was for a system to have very few people, like under five. also, whether it’s possible for it to be very rare that anyone other than the core (i think that’s the term) is in control?

Hi pippa/helena I am Quinn, I'm also the core, or at least the most like our core. Systems can come in all shapes and sizes, I am part of a traumagenic system (meaning my system formed from trauma), and you'll find that there is a lot of hate and discourse about traumagenic/endogenic systems (we personally try to stay out of all that). in any case, if you are also traumagenic then jake and whoever else might be there formed so that you didn't have to deal with all the trauma all the time. That doesn't mean that having only a few headmates (parts, alters, people in your head, whatever term(s) you chose to use) is because you didn't have enough trauma, it could be a bunch of things, but please don't feel invalid because you only have a few.

-switch lol, thea they/she now-

it's also possible that you guys haven't learned how to unmask yet, some signs of that include

feeling foggy all the time

not being sure who you are at any given moment

feeling like you're faking it

jake being able to pretend to be you very easily and quickly

it's very common when you first realize you're a system, because the point is not knowing you have headmates. So, maybe Jake is just the most vocal/different headmate, and in learning that you'll discover more.* or maybe not, maybe it's just you 2 and that's okay too!

as for your second question yes, that is also possible, and in that case your core would also be your 'host' or the person who fronts most often

quick side note, core is typically used to refer to the child who was there before splitting (usualy around 7), and from splitting to realizing you're a system it's assumed that a bunch of people fronted until you realized. Then the host, which is usually (but not always) the person in your system that goes by your birthname, identifies with that gender, etc. Anyway, hosts are technically the people/person that front the most often, but we use it like "the people that the rest of us pretend to be like"

.switch back to Quinn.

There's also stuff called co-consciousness, which would be like you can hear jake in your head but you are the one in control, and co-fronting, which would be like you are both in control and talk to each other.

So yeah I hope that answered your questions, sorry for the late reply again, I think we're in different time zones. I can link you to some recourses/answer more questions if you want, just let us know

edited by Quinn: *yeah that seams like that's what happened after reading your posts, colored text is a really good way of keeping track, good job! im proud of all of you for figuring this out, and for making picrews (we still can't make picrews and we've been aware for going on 8 months lol). i just want to remind you all that being foggy is okay. not knowing who's who is okay. not knowing when switching happens is okay. don't beat yourselves up about it, it'll come with time and practice, and it wont hurt anything if you accidentally mix it up and type as someone else. you'll learn and move on. It might sometimes feel like you're faking it, that'll also fade with time. remember: people know if they're faking something. people know if they intentionally set out to fake something. if you didn't, you're not faking. If it turns out you guys are not a system but it turns out it's something else, it will not hurt the anyone, you'll just have made a mistake in figuring out who you are, and that's okay. We love you and we're rooting for you 😘🤗.

[clatterbane]

Hallelujah, they managed NOT to comprehensively fuck up my blood sugar again at that full anesthesia gastroscopy session today!

The dotted line section was when I was in the OR and recovery, with the sensor well out of Bluetooth range of my phone. They decided to put me on some glucose again in the IV because somebody thought it was running too low (?). Because hospitals. It was at a decent fasting level, and the chance of it not staying fairly stable during the short procedure was vanishingly low. From past experience.

But, at least I was not dealing with that same dangerously misinformed anesthesiologist, and they actually showed a little sense with it this time. My blood sugar stayed in range, and they didn't leave the glucose drip going for that long. The long-acting background insulin in my system was evidently enough to bring that shit back down after they stopped it. Also, nobody came at me today with random doses of long-acting insulin "to keep me from going hypoglycemic".

Kind of a low bar, but I was honestly pretty concerned after last month's shitshow.

Oh yes, and I also managed to avoid any asthma episodes from the inevitable tracheal tube irritation making me cough. Haven't been needing it otherwise for a good while now, but I preemptively started using the steroid inhaler again after that last appointment--specifically in hopes that it might calm that shit down. Which it did thankfully seem to.

Otherwise, it was more of the same. Rather pointlessly cooped up from 7:30 to around 1:30 on the outpatient surgery unit, in a funky button-up hospital nightshirt, with my troublesome-bendy autistic hyperactive-ADHD ass expected to stay put in a hospital bed other than popping to the bathroom. Which I resisted the urge to do more than a few times, just to move around and decompress a little in a private space. At least I did remember to bring a power bank along for my phone this time, because yeah you're liable to need it when that's the main distraction available over like 7 hours.

I am so done, and also still unsurprisingly pretty achy from spending so long stuck in that bed. Frequently changing positions or no. This new arrangement still really sucks ass compared to the relatively low-stress (very much including physically!) in-and-out visits straight through the endoscopy department that I was having before whoever decided to switch over to this new rigmarole.

But, the experience was still a lot less bad overall than either of the previous times I've gone through outpatient surgery. And at least everyone was acting decent. (Which seems to be the norm at that hospital so far.) Which is certainly worth something. I am also relieved to be able to eat better again once the sore throat calms down some, since it did decide to tighten up again enough to cause problems.

I am still extremely glad to have that done and over with for another month, however.

[my-rion]

i finally understand what "uncomfortably numb" means. i used to cry every day, every other day, but at least once or twice a week. was like that for years. but it's been about 2 weeks now that i haven't cried once. i feel completely numb. i have some emotions like anger, irritation, happiness, but they're all fleeting now. the moment i feel tears might start welling up in my eyes it's like i flip the off switch & it's back to this baseline numbness again. & the thing is, i know it's a coping mechanism my system has developed to avoid spiraling or having a mental breakdown. just a fear that i won't be able to cope with certain things so i completely shut them out & extinguish any emotion the moment it arises. i can feel it all bubbling underneath the surface. i can sense a deep well of sadness, emptiness, anger, rage, sorrow & self hatred. it's just that i'm not able to feel them. i feel borderline like a sociopath these days. being this empty & incapable of feeling, even empathizing, a lot of times. i don't feel like myself, & that's probably because there's a few of us in the front at all times now. we keep bottling every emotion & now it's just scaring me to let it all out & actually feel. cause i know once i open the floodgates absolutely everything i've suppressed will come out. & if i don't feel capable of the small day to day grievances i don't know how i'm going to manage all of it all at once. so we continue to do what we do. because it's serving us, in the short term. even if i feel empty all the while.

[beast-mode-on]

Week Four: Stomach Bug Sucks

I literally haven't been able to do pretty much anything beyond the absolute baseline for most of the week, because of a really bad headache and occasional violent puking (regardless of stomach contents.)

However, I did watch a movie, the Oscar Nominee, Wallace and Grommit: Vengence Most Foul.

Yeah, its exactly what it sounds like, its a fun romp with all the charm you expect from something British and Claymated, but not a heck of a lot past that. The perfect movie for when you cannot concentrate on anything but also cannot sleep.

I also played through two entire video games: Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion and West of Loathing.

Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion: Tiny game where you play as a Sentient Turnip who has to collect a bunch of stuff for the corrupt Mayor Onion and kill a bunch of animals in the process, it is implied that its post nuclear war, and there are only like two humans left in a bunker. Seriously cute, fun art style, but honestly not anything mechanically interesting, and none of the combat felt very good. About four hours max. 6/10.

West of Loathing: Western open-world turn-based Comedy RPG. Like literally, its a western movie but with demon cows, necromancy, hippies, an entire quest about getting a guy's jelly bean collection back. Its great, combat doesn't suffer from the slow/repetitive feeling a lot of turn based rpgs can have, and the leveling system is unique so it doesn't feel grindy, consumables are just necessary enough that you don't horde, the dialogue and writing is witty, honestly one of the best open worlds I've seen (even if its not traditionally what you'd think of as open world), some extraordinarily funny stuff in here. I just wish it was longer. I got 10 hours, my brother got 19. Easy 9 out of 10.

In other news, I started Discworld. AFAIK they are not released in chronological order or anything like that, and the general consensus is not to start with the first one, so I'm starting with Mort, which is about a boy who gets apprenticed to Death. This upcoming week I'mma see if the library has it, if not I'll just keep reading it by PDF. The books are short, so I'm thinking I want to try and read two in february, and then maybe pick one of them and something else for future months if that feels doable.

I am currently playing through Earthbound, as much as I can tolerate (sometimes the tiny screen (its on switch and only uses like half the screen) makes my head hurt, and its old, which means tedious at times.)

Good news, the cold times should be pretty much over this week.

Maybe I can hit the rap playlist thing this week.

But mostly I gotta keep up with school.

Oh, also, I just realized that cooking can be in this. I think I will do that week by week (at least one cooking goal a week.)

All in all, I'm feeling really good about this coming out of the first month of this project.

[mmx-zero]

Warning: there is some ranting involved but it's ok if you choose to ignore it...

God fucking damnit every time a game is on sale I'm usually a couple fucking dollars short! Mega man 11 is on sale on the switch shop online for 10 bucks and I only have around 6 dollars on me damn cash app! I've been eyeing this game for a while now and I wanna give my sister the Christmas money I got so that she could put it on my cash app but she doesn't have the money rn until maybe tomorrow but the sale ends tomorrow! Gah I hate it when I see shit last minute and I don't have enough for it. Don't y'all just fucking hate it when that happens??? I'm always short on shit and it's frustrating..not like I can get a damn job because my sister hasn't had the time to reevaluate my SSI because if I had a job it would affect how much my sister gets from the SSI for me because she's in charge of that stuff and we just haven't had the time. I don't have a damn phone number either to set up a PayPal and do a Ko-fi or Patreon to charge for art so that's fucking great. I wish I didn't feel so stuck I wanna be able to buy my own wants and needs but I have to fucking rely on surveys and other things and it frustrating. I wanna also have a job to help my family out because we struggle a bit sometimes. Why does life like this have to be so damn hard. At least my Christmas gift my brother in law's twin sister got me is coming on the 7th from Amazon but I think it's coming so late is because of what I heard about the recent Amazon strike. I'm sorry y'all have to see me like this but I hate being fucking helpless and not being able to do things on my own because tbh I almost have no fucking clue what I am doing in life. I wanted to fucking work for Nintendo as an art designer or music designer but I don't think that's ever gonna happen. I'm sorry for ranting I just need to get it out of my system. *Gets into a fetal position and just contemplates life* I wanna be able to do something instead of being stuck in my house most of the time because I don't even know where to go cause I don't even have a fucking car and idk if I'll be able to because idk if I'm functioning enough to even have a car due to my disability. I also wanna buy things for my family too but it's been sorta rough a bit. I do apologize again but I just need to let it out my system before I cry it out instead.

[chrysaoravioli]

2nd Year Anniversary: Happy Little Experiments

Remember this?

It's hard to believe an entire year has flown by and yet, I don't really have much to show for it, huh? At least, in terms of completed projects... nada. Zilch.

It seems like I've simply rested on my laurels, haven't I? Well, not quite...

A Nagging Feeling

While I was making the Bayonetta 3 combo video, I kept finding myself thinking, "Hey, what if this move was backported to a previous game?" or "Man, this hit reaction state was so cool. What if we could port it forward?". And as I kept working on this project, the list of musings kept growing bigger and bigger.

After the combo video was released, it was clear that the completion of this project had left me a bit empty. I found that it was difficult for other games to keep my attention because Bayonetta 3, despite some of its faults, had set an incredibly high bar for mechanical satisfaction that only one other game has ever surpassed (hint, it's also another Platinum title :D ).

For some time, I was contemplating what I should do next. Another combo video? Maybe creating the high level guides that I had briefly talked about? What about the violin covers? I kept going back and forth, and yet, I always came back to my list of "what ifs". There was this nagging feeling, a sort of itch that was just out of reach that desperately needed to be scratched (i'm not a good writer, why did you choose this metaphor).

I simply concluded, "eh, why not? Let's learn how to make a game because it's bothering me."

Giving Unreal Engine a Shot

Those of you that have been following my Twitter may have noticed an uptick of Unreal related tweets around March 2024. That's when I had a few personal breakthroughs and was absolutely excited to share any and all progress, no matter how inconsequentially basic.

You see, I had actually began experimenting with game engines around July 2023. After the Unity debacle in September, I made the switch to Unreal but I found it an absolute behemoth of a program to parse. In addition, I made the mistake of following a book that also taught C++ for Unreal, leaving me incredibly frustrated and lost. All I could think was "god, I really hate programming."

However, around March, I decided to sit down and just start from scratch. Forget finishing that silly book, just try to do something simple like... making a door open without writing a single line of code.

I Don't Actually Hate Programming...

...as long as it's Blueprints.

You see, this visual scripting system is actually a godsend. Forget about header files. Forget about trying to figure out the exact syntax. Forget about what feels like arbitrary words that somehow makes the computer do things. Instead, just take these coloured blocks, connect them with little wires, and hey, it spits out the same exact result as the hieroglyphics you've been trying to learn!

And holy ****, it actually makes sense! This node based scripting system allowed me to perfectly visualize and execute any idea that I had in my head. It's so freakin' convenient!

Only two weeks later, I was able to craft a basic initial framework for a dial combo system, similar to the one found in Bayonetta 2 & 3.

By then, I was locked in. Seriously. As soon as 5 PM rolled around, for two months straight, I would begin experimenting with charged attack inputs, delay combos, and a little system for evaluating left stick inputs to enable command attacks. By May, I was even brave enough to begin experimenting with hitboxes.

There's still so much more work to do but I was absolutely over the moon. Unreal Engine satisfied that same mechanical desire that I had felt when playing Bayonetta 3 but I still hungered for more...

A Self-Imposed Challenge

In June, I decided to challenge myself by recreating a specific mechanic from a game within a month. I needed a bit of a breather, as I knew that working on the stylish action system required a lot of interconnected subsystems that was beginning to feel overwhelming. So, I decided to work on recreating part of the painting system from Splatoon.

In the first week, I researched Render Targets and learned how to draw a simple shape into the RT. This simply uses the "Find Collision UV" node from a trace hit, then draws the painting material to the Render Target at the hit UV coordinate.

In the second week, I decided to go a little further and apply an entire Render Target to a custom mesh. This required creating a second UV channel with custom UVs so that the paint could be "continuous". However, one issue is that if an UV island wasn't scaled properly, the paint blob would become distorted.

In the third week, I took the plunge into the Material Graph so that I could figure out how to restrict painting surfaces. There was a lot to learn since creating the necessary functions to manipulate colour was a bit of a foreign concept to me. In the end, I was able to successfully figure out a solution that restricts a paintable wall with a mask.

In the final week, a Tricolour painting system that was much closer to Splatoon! While I'm still using the somewhat questionable custom UV channel albeit with more uniform UV islands, I can have multiple static meshes that share the same Render Target! Team Alpha, Bravo, and Charlie paint into their respective R, G, or B channels of the Render Target, which is then processed into a material to transform these into the appropriate colours defined in a Material Parameter Collection.

While there's still work to do in figuring out how to turn this into an interactive game element, I'm fairly proud of my work in this month long exercise. I learned a lot about the Material Graph and have even begun researching into how to bring all of this stuff that lives on the GPU, back to the CPU in a performant manner.

What's Next for Year 3?

For the time being, that little nagging feeling of mine has led me to realize that I'm really happy and satisfied as I slowly tinker away in Unreal Engine. It does mean I'll have to sacrifice some of my video ideas but I think that's okay.

I'm not really that old but I'm also not getting any younger. While I did enjoy making the combo videos and violin cover, they end up feeling so ephemeral that I think my time is much better spent on something that can have a more lasting impact.

So, as long as these little experiments continue to satisfy my curiosity and engineering spirit, that's what I'll stick to for the foreseeable future. And who knows, maybe if things pan out, you'll be able to play and experience the results of my experiments a year from now! Wish me luck!

While I wished I could've done more for my channel, I still hope you'll continue to support me in the future. Thank you so much for all of you who have stuck around!

Best wishes!

chrysaora 🎐

[bubblyaquarium]

we're going to do all of these and yes it took like two hours but I had fun. just a warning this is super long lmao

1. What is your System name and / or the name you collectively go by?

Our system name is The Aquarium. We won't share the name we collectively go by / the body's name for privacy reasons, but it's nothing fun lmao it's a basic white boy name.

2. Which word do you prefer to use for your System? (example: System, Collective, Constellation, ...)

We prefer either system or plurality, Circus likes to jokingly call us a 'school' since our theme is based on fish. We also use Aquarium as a collective term for ourselves.

3. What are your Systems origins, if you choose to label them?

We use the term quoigenic as we partially don't know fully how we formed and partially because we don't want to talk about it, at least not publicly on our blog.

4. Do you have any Subsystems?

Nope.

5. Do you have any Sidesystems?

Nope.

6. What is your opinion on you& / your& language and similar types?

For us personally we don't use it, but I think it's a cool way to refer to yourself/others for those that do! It is a tad confusing for us though

7. What methods do you use to keep track of your System and it's Members?

Simply Plural is our main way of documenting everyone, we have pronoun.cc and pluralkit but those tend to be outdated.

8. What is your Systems ways of communication?

We don't really do anything to communicate to each other, we remember (almost) everything between switches so we haven't really had a need to. We can talk to each other or at least sense each other's feelings when co-fronting together.

9. Is communication hard or easy for you (and why is it the way it is)?

I guess it's fairly easy?

10. Do you view yourselves as parts of one person or as multiple people in one body?

It depends on the headmate, most of us see ourselves as parts of the core (albeit differently sized pieces of the core), though a feel of us (like Mirror, Ren, and Breeze for example) feel like separate people.

11. Who are you out to as plural?

Just our one close friend, who is also a system.

12. What languages do you collectively / one of you speak?

Only English unfortunately, we want to learn more but we are so inconstant we haven't been able to get past a few weeks before dropping it.

13. What is something you can't seem to collectively agree on?

Our hair lmao, it changes all the time.

14. If you have a collective Identity (such as Gender or Orientation), what is it?

Transgender guy and gay acespec.

15. Do you collectively identify as queer / LGBTQIA+?

Yep! Almost all of us are queer in some way.

16. Do you collectively identify as Otherkin, Alterhuman or Nonhuman?

Collectively we're demihuman (part human part not), though some of us have specific kintypes. Angel is dollkin, Circus is a cat therian, Ty is nonhuman, plus we have physically nonhuman headmates as well.

17. Do you have a collective rentry / carrd / something along those lines? (feel free to share!)

Nope, we tried rentry but didn't like it much.

18. What does switching feel like for you?

For the most part it's real subtle and we don't notice it until later, but for a few of us it's more intense. Switching to Corci feels almost like having part of ourselves 'turned off', like we lose energy and our emotions become dull. Switching to Ro is like having someone else force their way into your brain, it makes us confused and dizzy. Sometimes switching out makes us feel jittery or causes us to dissociate, it depends.

19. Are you Monoconscious, Polyconscious or something else?

I believe hydraconcious, it's hard to wrap my head around having different consciousness or what that feels like so it's really hard to tell.

20. What does fronting feel like for you?

For me (Corci) it's feels like I'm in a dream, kind of like I'm just autopiloting through things but I'm only half-there. However I am often very dissociated and I know it's not that way for everyone.

21. How many System members do you have?

As of right now 33.

22. Which word / words do you prefer to use for members of your System?

I personally prefer headmates or members, though some of us use the term alter. A few of us refer to everyone as 'the others'.

23. Which age group seems to be the most common in your System?

Early to mid twenties, which is the bodies age.

24. Which gender seems to be the most common in your System?

Definitely male or masc-aligned.

25. Are there any talents / hobbies you picked up because of a Member?

No, but I'm not the right person to ask as I don't really enjoy any hobbies, and don't do the ones we share.

26. Do you have any in-system relationships?

Nope, I'm one of the headmates that's more like a piece of the core, and we don't have relationships, that's just the ones that are more separate.

27. Do you label roles within your System (and if yes, which ones?)

There's too many to list, but we tend to use more specific roles (like I'm technically a protector, but I use the term buffer, which is a more specific variation of protector).

28. Are most of your Members introjected, brainmade or something else?

I'd say it's 50/50, though brainmade headmates tend to be more complex and fully formed people than the introjects are.

29. Do you use names, emojis or something similar to sign off messages (and if yes, which ones and why?)

We use our names, we do have emojis but they're mostly just for fun and ngl we tend to forget ours.

30. Do any of your System members use Xenogenders?

Yes! Circus uses a lot (audiogender, stickhoardic, catgender, clutterboy, sanriogender, clowngender, etc etc, ze is a gender hoarder), and Buttercream is girlthing.

31. How do Members pick face claims?

We all tend to form with a pretty vivid idea of what we look like, so it isn't to hard for us to make ourselves in picrew.

32. Do you have any Introjects of popular sources?

Dio and Ro are both from jjba, and we have a bunch of introjects from nct.

33. Do you have any Introjects of unpopular sources?

Sian from tfn and both Oz and Pigtails are from IDV, which idk if that's considered unpopular or not but we don't see introjects from it often.

34. Do you have nonhuman Members?

Yes, quite a few. Pigtails and Oz are both dolls, Percy is a forest spirit, Buttercream is a deity, Zee is a virtual zombie, and Breeze is a dryad.

35. Do any of you use Typing Quirks?

Idk if it's a quirk or if it just can't spell, but Zee spells a lot of things weird.

36. Do all of you front, or only a selected amount?

Most of us do, there's a handful that can't. Dio, Sunny, Marky, Jay, Wyatt, Lenny, and Johnny have never fronted. Mirror can front but does so rarely, she usually is just co-con.

37. Are there any Members who can't or prefer to not speak?

Jett is semiverbal and struggles to speak, Amy doesn't speak often we assume because she's shy, and Percy is fully mute.

38. Are most of you short or tall in height?

Kind of in between, most of us are around 5'7 (the body's height) though some of us are shorter (Zee, Deliliah, Ren, Percy) and some are very tall (Buttercream and Oz).

39. Is there a Member that is collectively loved by all in the System?

We all like each other for the most part but we all adore the littles, and as our peacemaker Chloe gets along well with everyone.

40. Do any of you struggle with being front-stuck a lot of the time?

I do, yes. During stressful periods in our life I tend to get either frontstuck or switch out near constantly. No one else has that issue though.

41. Do you have a Headspace (if not, is there a reason)?

Not really? Mostly because we struggle to visualize, though we'd really like one.

42. What does your Headspace look like?

As I said we don't really have one, but there's a few places we have: a big dark room with a huge fishtank in the middle (for destressing or a place to hide when we're super overwhelmed or overstimulated), an alleyway where Chaos lives, and a fancy room with a library where Dio lives.

43. How do Members look like in Headspace? (example: Cartoony, Foggy, Realistic, ...)

Pretty realistic, we have a good sense of our what we look like.

44. Is there a reason why the Headspace looks the way it looks?

Skipping because we don't really have a headspace

45. Is it easy for you to enter Headspace?

It's very challenging for us

46. Do you remember what happened in Headspace when you switch into front?

Yes but then again nothing really happens there

47. Does time in Headspace pass (and if yes, is it at the same speed as in real life)?

No idea

48. What is your favourite place in Headspace?

I mean there's not much there lmao but for sure the fishtank room, it's so calming

49. Are there "NPCs" within your Headspace?

No, unless we're counting the fish

50. Are there any interesting fun facts about your Headspace?

Nope

51. Are there any "System Stereotypes" you fit into?

We have the stereotypical 'edgy persecutor' and a lot of introjects from our hyperfixations.

52. Who of you would be considered the "evil alter"? (in a lighthearted, joking manner)

Chaos 100%

53. What is your favourite inside-joke with a Member?

I can't think of any rn

54. What is your favourite Plural meme?

55. Is there any character that you headcanon as plural?

It's like semi-canon but Foo Fighters from jjba

56. Is there any show or movie that you believe is a good plural representation, despite that not being its intention?

I haven't seen many tbh

57. Is there any song that you believe describes your plural experience?

Not that I can think of

58. What about an artwork that describes your plural experience?

None

59. Which Member of your System do you believe to be the prettiest of them all?

Sian lmao he's our pretty boy, I think Buttercream is pretty too though

60. Do you collectively have a lucky number?

83 is our collective lucky number, I personally favor the number 9

61. When did you first discover your System?

A few years ago but we kind of just ignored it lmao

62. How many Members did you know about during your Syscovery?

6 or 7 (Gray, Delilah, Mirror, Rocky, Breeze, and Chaos + the 'core' or Inky at the time)

63. Was accepting your Plurality a challenge for you?

Oh yeah. Before knowing much about plurality we thought the concept was super cool (like not the trauma behind it obviously, but the way people's brains could just. Form other people) so we felt like we were unconsciously faking because we thought it was interesting, hence we ignored it for years.

64. How did you learn about Plurality?

Partially through tiktok (that's where we first heard of it), but we learned about it through an old friend of ours that's a system.

65. Where there any signs of your Plurality, if you look back at your past?

Yeah for sure, starting at age 13 or 14 we had a lot of instances where Chaos fronted, as well as Buttercream, which looking back is very obvious as they are super different from Chloe, who was the host back then.

66. Do you think your Syscovery changed a lot in your life?

Not really tbh, it's been a comfort to have names to our different 'moods' but it doesn't really affect how we live day to day life

67. If you're out to others as plural, have they ever told you later on that they already thought about it before you realized?

Nope.

68. What was the biggest struggle during your Syscovery?

Differentiating between mood swings and actual headmates.

69. Was there any big event that led to your Syscovery?

Not really? It was a gradual realization during a rough period in our life that hey, sometimes when things are super shitty I start using different pronouns that's weird

70. What is something you want questioning plurals to know?

It's okay to not know everything right away, it takes a while to process and learn all the terms and figure out headmates, and sometimes you need to just exist without worrying about who you are and who's in your head.

71. Are you Neurodivergent (and if yes, how?)

Yes, we might(?) have ADHD, plus a couple personality disorders which are like our Main Issues lmao, being plural is almost like a secondary thing

72. Do you have any physical disability?

Uh...maybe? We don't feel disabled enough to call ourselves disabled but we for sure aren't fully able bodied.

73. Do you have a dissociative disorder?

No idea

74. Do you have any other disorder?

Borderline Personality Disorder 🤩 we have npd as well but bpd affects us the most by far it SUCKS

75. Do symptom vary in intensity depending on the fronter?

Yes! I'm the bpd holder so bpd seems to affect me more than the others (Delilah and Chaos as well), and npd affects Angel the most. Circus has the worst ADHD symptoms.

76. Do you think your disability / disorder has an influence on your plurality?

For sure, we're heavily affected by bpd and it causes us to be blurry a lot as well as making it hard to keep track of headmates as we have awful mood swings and identity issues and it's hard to tell what's an episode and what's a new headmate. In fact we sometimes wonder if most of if not all of us are made up just to explain away how inconsistent our personality is, which even if that is true we've found a lot of comfort in being a system and it's helped us tons so we wouldn't change how we label ourselves even if we aren't wrong.

77. Do you have amnesia of any kind?

Mostly emotional amnesia, though we have memory blocks between certain headmates, like Mirror and Buttercream.

78. Are there Members who deal better with symptoms than others?

Some of us cope with things better than others.

79. Do your disorders / disabilities influence communication or switching within your System in any way?

It makes it harder to keep track of switches

80. Does being plural help with your disorders in any way? (example: another Member switching in to take care of the body during difficult times, ...)

Yes but I don't feel like elaborating rn

81. Which is your favourite plural flag?

I'm biased but I like the quoigenic flag most. It's like a sunset over the ocean.

82. If you have one, which is your favourite plurality related tumblr blog?

This one (pluralasking) not to be a suck up lmao we just like answering questions

83. What is a fun fact about your System?

We are collectively super hyperfixated on scambaiting! I can't tell you how many hours we've spend watching / listening to youtube videos and livestreams of scambaiters. We know Way Too Much about how scams work.

84. What is a flavour of ice cream that describes you collectively?

Cookies and cream. Don't ask why the vibes are just right.

85. Which pride flag is the prettiest, in your collective opinion?

We love pride flags but our favorites are omnisexual, queer, and abrosexual. Plus there are a ton of xenogender flags we like as well.

86. If you collectively had to choose between being a sweet or a sour candy, which do you pick?

Sweet

87. Your body always morphs into what the current fronter(s) look like, would you want this power or not?

Uhh for me it wouldn't make much a difference. I supposed overall it would be cool but considering how often we switch it would bring a lot of unwanted attention, plus we don't always want it to be known who is fronting

88. Is there a Hatsune Miku in your System?

No lmao

89. Who has been in your System the longest (if you can remember)?

Chloe is the original so for sure her. Amy, Breeze, Chaos/Corci (we split off from each other at some point but we used to be the same person I'm pretty sure), and Buttercream have also been here a while.

90. If you collectively had to choose, would you rather only eat sweet foods or only eat savoury foods for the rest of your life?

Collectively sweet, but I prefer savory

91. If you collectively had to choose, would you pick to become a vampire or a werewolf?

Vampire

92. Your body is transfered into one of your Members sources, which do you pick and why?

Sian, his source is pretty and gives us a lot of gender envy

93. If all of you turned into animals right this second, which animals would we find in your System?

A lot of cats, deer, and mice lmao

94. What would a Minecraft server with all of your Members look like? (example: chaotic, peaceful, laggy, ...)

A mess, just all sorts of unfinished houses and farms everywhere. And we'd only play on create mode.

95. If you could choose between only living in Headspace or only living in Meatspace (real life), which would you choose?

Headspace, idk if it's basically nonexistent I don't like the real world

96. What topic would you collectively make a youtube channel about? (it can't be plurality!)

Scambaiting, or queer or otherkin related stuff

97. Which superpower would your body obtain, if you had to collectively decide on one?

Shapeshifting or invisibility (or like making ourselves unnoticeable to people)

98. Who would pick the coolest tattoo for the System and who would pick the worst?

Coolest would be Chaos (he wants us to get a snake that wraps around our arm) and worst would be Circus (it would be something jjba related I just know it)

99. If you only were allowed to eat one food for the rest of your life, but you would have to decide on the food collectively, what would it be and what would the decision making look like?

Ramen because A) it's easy B) we all like it and C) I'm the host and I say ramen

100. What is the most fun about doing polls and answering questions, in your opinion?

Talking about ourselves lmao, we have npd we will take any excuse to focus on ourselves

#One-Hundred

[pt: #one-hundred]

In order to celebrate 100 days of posting, here are 100 questions for you to answer! You can either answer them all at once, or let others send in the numbers they are most curious about!

Some of them are general questions, others are just really silly and should not be taken too serious. I put a lot of effort into coming up with all of these, so I truely hope you have fun with this!

For simplicity sake, all questions will use the words "System" and "Members".

1. What is your System name and / or the name you collectively go by?

2. Which word do you prefer to use for your System? (example: System, Collective, Constellation, ...)

3. What are your Systems origins, if you choose to label them?

4. Do you have any Subsystems?

5. Do you have any Sidesystems?

6. What is your opinion on you& / your& language and similar types?

7. What methodes do you use to keep track of your System and it's Members?

8. What is your Systems ways of communication?

9. Is communication hard or easy for you (and why is it the way it is)?

10. Do you view yourselves as parts of one person or as multiple people in one body?

11. Who are you out to as plural?

12. What languages do you collectively / one of you speak?

13. What is something you can't seem to collectively agree on?

14. If you have a collective Identity (such as Gender or Orientation), what is it?

15. Do you collectively identify as queer / LGBTQIA+?

16. Do you collectively identify as Otherkin, Alterhuman or Nonhuman?

17. Do you have a collective rentry / carrd / something along those lines? (feel free to share!)

18. What does switching feel like for you?

19. Are you Monoconscious, Polyconscious or something else?

20. What does fronting feel like for you?

21. How many System members do you have?

22. Which word / words do you prefer to use for members of your System?

23. Which age group seems to be the most common in your System?

24. Which gender seems to be the most common in your System?

25. Are there any talents / hobbies you picked up because of a Member?

26. Do you have any in-system relationships?

27. Do you label roles within your System (and if yes, which ones?)

28. Are most of your Members introjected, brainmade or something else?

29. Do you use names, emojis or something similar to sign off messages (and if yes, which ones and why?)

30. Do any of your System members use Xenogenders?

31. How do Members pick face claims?

32. Do you have any Introjects of popular sources?

33. Do you have any Introjects of unpopular sources?

34. Do you have nonhuman Members?

35. Do any of you use Typing Quirks?

36. Do all of you front, or only a selected amount?

37. Are there any Members who can't or prefer to not speak?

38. Are most of you short or tall in height?

39. Is there a Member that is collectively loved by all in the System?

40. Do any of you struggle with being front-stuck a lot of the time?

41. Do you have a Headspace (if not, is there a reason)?

42. What does your Headspace look like?

43. How do Members look like in Headspace? (example: Cartoony, Foggy, Realistic, ...)

44. Is there a reason why the Headspace looks the way it looks?

45. Is it easy for you to enter Headspace?

46. Do you remember what happened in Headspace when you switch into front?

47. Does time in Headspace pass (and if yes, is it at the same speed as in real life)?

48. What is your favourite place in Headspace?

49. Are there "NPCs" within your Headspace?

50. Are there any interesting fun facts about your Headspace?

51. Are there any "System Stereotypes" you fit into?

52. Who of you would be considered the "evil alter"? (in a lighthearted, joking manner)

53. What is your favourite inside-joke with a Member?

54. What is your favourite Plural meme?

55. Is there any character that you headcanon as plural?

56. Is there any show or movie that you believe is a good plural representation, despite that not being its intention?

57. Is there any song that you believe decribes your plural experience?

58. What about an artwork that describes your plural experience?

59. Which Member of your System do you believe to be the prettiest of them all?

60. Do you collectively have a lucky number?

61. When did you first discover your System?

62. How many Members did you know about during your Syscovery?

63. Was accepting your Plurality a challenge for you?

64. How did you learn about Plurality?

65. Where there any signs of your Plurality, if you look back at your past?

66. Do you think your Syscovery changed a lot in your life?

67. If you're out to others as plural, have they ever told you later on that they already thought about it before you realised?

68. What was the biggest struggle during your Syscovery?

69. Was there any big event that led to your Syscovery?

70. What is something you want questioning plurals to know?

71. Are you Neurodivergent (and if yes, how?)

72. Do you have any physical disability?

73. Do you have a dissociative disorder?

74. Do you have any other disorder?

75. Do symptom vary in intensity depending on the fronter?

76. Do you think your disability / disorder has an influence on your plurality?

77. Do you have amnesia of any kind?

78. Are there Members who deal better with symptoms than others?

79. Do your disorders / disabilities influence communication or switching within your System in any way?

80. Does being plural help with your disorders in any way? (example: another Member switching in to take care of the body during difficult times, ...)

81. Which is your favourite plural flag?

82. If you have one, which is your favourite plurality related tumblr blog?

83. What is a fun fact about your System?

84. What is a flavour of ice cream that describes you collectively?

85. Which pride flag is the prettiest, in your collective opinion?

86. If you collectively had to choose between being a sweet or a sour candy, which do you pick?

87. Your body always morphs into what the current fronter(s) look like, would you want this power or not?

88. Is there a Hatsune Miku in your System?

89. Who has been in your System the longest (if you can remember)?

90. If you collectively had to choose, would you rather only eat sweet foods or only eat savoury foods for the rest of your life?

91. If you collectively had to choose, would you pick to become a vampire or a werewolf?

92. Your body is transfered into one of your Members sources, which do you pick and why?

93. If all of you turned into animals right this second, which animals would we find in your System?

94. What would a Minecraft server with all of your Members look like? (example: chaotic, peaceful, laggy, ...)

95. If you could choose between only living in Headspace or only living in Meatspace (real life), which would you choose?

96. What topic would you collectively make a youtube channel about? (it can't be plurality!)

97. Which superpower would your body obtain, if you had to collectively decide on one?

98. Who would pick the coolest tattoo for the System and who would pick the worst?

99. If you only were allowed to eat one food for the rest of your life, but you would have to decide on the food collectively, what would it be and what would the decision making look like?

100. What is the most fun about doing polls and answering questions, in your opinion?