#&&. I have it on other systems like the switch at least but haven't been able to find the chance to re-play it again in full I aM A SHAM

[storybounded]

NO WAY ANOTHER OKAMI GAME....

[maddies-writings]

So I finished Veil Guard.

I don't think it's nearly as bad as some people are making it out to be. I will say I do prefer Inquisition, I think it has more replay value for me personally and I don't think I'll be replaying Veil Guard. I'm going to give a short little review/pros and cons list before talking about how Veil Guard will effect "So Far Away". This will contain spoilers for VG so if you haven't finished the game then all you need to know is that while the game did confirm some of my theories not all of the lore will be canon in my universe.

I think Veil Guard was ok. It wasn't amazing but it wasn't horrible either. I don't think I connected with it as much as Inquisition, especially with the companions. A lot of the decisions game play wise were fine, I just happen to prefer Inquisition's approach.

Like Combat. I was a female Qunari Mage Veil Jumper. The orb and dagger thing was cool. The fact that your companions were immortal was a convenient thing and the combos were cool but I preferred the tactical map and being able to switch between any of my three companions. I wouldn't call VG's combat system a pro or con, at least for me, just that I prefer Inquisition.

Pros:

Character Creation was amazing. I loved all the hair models and hair physics. The sheer amount of customization possible with this game was amazing. The tattoos, scars and makeup. It's those extra cosmetics that can tip the scale in character customization for me. If they don't have those options I usually start looking for mods. You've seen my Evelyn Trevelyan? My Skyrim is modded so much more than my DAI.

The parkour stuff was really good. I'm sure we all remember trying to jump up mountains in Inquisition. VG was much easier to navigate and I loved being able to actually climb stuff, walk across beams and do the ziplines. It was really cool.

The LORE! Seeing the Dread Wolf's regrets with everything like that was amazing! I had theorized that Solas was a spirit that Mythal had either asked or forced to take a solid form. I will say I did not see it coming that they basically created the Blight and sundered the Titans. That was an epic surprise.

The Graphics in this game were gorgeous. Kind of expected considering this game came out ten years after DAI but still. Especially that final mission? Felt like I was watching a movie, seeing Solas in his Dread Wolf form fighting that Arch Demon.

Now time for the cons

Almost no Previous Choices carry over to this game: I'm not saying who I selected to rule Orlais had to be taken into consideration. We are playing in the northern half of Thedas right now and the Orlesian Empire doesn't matter to our goals. But if you chose mages/templars and who you selected as Divine. I know mages are treated better in the north in places like Tevinter or Rivain. Who drank the Well would've also been important. What choices you made with your companions and the like. It would've no doubt changed Solas's opinion on the Inquisitor but I think that would've been great.

Mythal I feel wasn't criticized nearly as much as Solas. I think it would've been cooler if she was eventually revealed as another villain. She kept asking more and more of Solas, requesting that he do horrible things. Remember Flemeth in DAI saying that she wanted a reckoning that would shake the Heavens? What if she was corrupted not by the Blight but by her rage and thirst for revenge? She tried to reason with all of them and they murdered her. Maybe she would've helped us like Solas, making it seem like Solas would betray us but in the end it is she who uses us and Solas as pawns to kill the Evanuris before she attempts to remake the world or some other evil thing? There is a quote in Inquisition about Solas "burning her off his face" meaning Vallaslin and that he was once Mythal's slave. Morrigan also had Mythal inside her after having refused it since Origins (even if she doesn't know it was Mythal) felt like a betrayal to her character. What if Mythal forcibly over took her body or something? Anyways, not super happy with where they went with Mythal but it's not like it ruined the game for me.

Vallaslin and Tevinter Slaves are never really mentioned. I know we see slaves around the Venatori but slavery is legal in Tevinter. In Minrathous, the capital city? There should be slaves EVERYWHERE! Slavery is a massive part of Tevinter and it's only barely touched on. Could've had some missions with the Shadow Dragons that involve freeing slaves. Also, Vallaslin are slave markings, known as blood writting. They were to denote which god the master favored. It would've been amazing to have had the gods use the vallaslin to control elves marked for them. I think Davrin was marked for Ghilan'nain? Imagine if she had seized control of Davrin and forced him to fight us? Maybe what could've made him snap out of it was if Ghilan'nain tried to force him to hurt Assan?

Solavellan ending felt... dry? They haven't seen each other in ten years and all we get is this super gentle kiss from a man who kissed Lavellan like he was drowning? Solas didn't even walk holding hands with her into the Veil/Fade/Mystery Portal? He also didn't really apologize to Lavellan? I was expecting a much more emotional reunion. I knew we wouldn't get to have them live in a nice little cottage in the woods at the end and that they were running with the 'in another world' thing which makes their reunion kind of bitter sweet but it still didn't feel emotional enough. I did not wait this many years for a tiny kiss and not even a true hug. I'm not even super into Solas x Lavellan anymore because I think I read it so much I'm now like "let the other races have a chance with the wolf" and I love cross race pairings. Culture sharing and struggles is one of my favorite tropes. Plus it makes Solas's convictions even harder because he fell for someone who isn't even one of the people.

I'm sure if I wanted to I could think of more stuff for each list but I just finished the game last night and frankly, I probably won't play it again. If I want to see alternate dialogue and choices i can just look them up on YouTube when people inevitably upload them.

Now, onto how this game will effect my writing for So Far Away.

A lot of the theories I had before this game came out ended up being proven true so like with Solas not meaning for the prison for the gods to sunder the elves or how he was originally a spirit who didn't want to become flesh. The reveal won't change that, i had always intended for that to be the case in my story.

The reveal of the blight was a surprise and I think it is super cool, but I don't think I will have that in my story. Not only did I not plan on having the Blight be created by Solas/Mythal but I don't really see the Blight popping up in my story. Because of that i don't really plan on coming up with an alternative origin for it? It was just always there. Some kind of darkness in Thedas. Like I said, don't think I need to come up with an explanation for something that won't effect my story.

I also don't plan on including the Lighthouse. Just assume if it wasn't in Inquisition it probably won't be there because I never read the books or comics.

My story is obviously an AU I created before VG came out so while I may take some inspiration from this and may even have some character cameos from Veil Guard (You can't tell me Solas and Emmerich wouldn't be the best of buddies) It won't really change what I plan on for my story.

I haven't been writing because of job hunting and playing Veil Guard but I've found a job and finished the game. The chapter is more than half way done. i should post it soon. Anyways, thanks for reading my thoughts and please make sure to check out my Solas x Trevelyan political marriage au if you're reading this and haven't yet for some reason.

Love you guys!

[caintooth]

Okay this is a little weird but I have a DID question.

I had a friend in high school who claimed to have DID. I met several alleged alters and she really would change a lot between personalities, even seeming stronger, having a higher body temp, and having different handwriting as certain alters. She also definitely had a real, terrible childhood that I could see causing her to split off an alter for protection. At the time I was about 80% convinced.

It's been years and we're still good friends, but she hasn't mentioned any alters since high school, and she has also not mentioned being able to integrate some or all of her alters, even tho we talk about mental health often. I haven't seen her be (or at least I haven't noticed her being) any of the alters I would recognize from high school. But I also used to spend almost every day with her and now I go weeks or months without hanging out with her so my sample size is smaller.

Starting a few months after I stopped seeing her every day I started to become more skeptical of her claim to have DID, because it felt a bit too much like a movie to me at the time. Sometimes I could request time with a specific alter and they would show up, but sometimes they wouldn't. It didn't seem like she was someone else without willing it, very often if ever. She had like 3 main alters when she told me about it - a protector, a little kid, and one more I can't remember and didn't see often - and she allegedly acquired a cat alter sometime after that.

I'm split about it now. I believed her for the most part at the time, because she really did seem different, but I also knew that was the kind of thing high schoolers sometimes lie about so I was always mildly suspicious. Now looking back I feel bad doubting her because if she was telling the truth, it would probably really hurt her to know I doubted her. But also that is the kind of thing high schoolers sometimes lie about! I had other friends lie about similar shit. And I haven't seen any evidence in so long and it hasn't come up in just as long.

I've always wanted to ask her about it but I don't want to embarrass her or harm our friendship which is still strong despite this question lol. I know you're not a doctor and it can be dangerous to speculate, but I just wondered what your perspective as someone with DID is?

This is such a strange thing to anonymously ask a stranger.

Are you hoping I’ll tell you she was faking? Are you hoping I’ll validate your assumptions about her inner life? What you have described is incredibly textbook for DID.

To help you understand, let me explain that Dissociative Identity Disorder presents in two ways, typically: overtly, or covertly.

An “overt” presentation is as you were describing her high school presentation— the disorder is easier to see as an outside viewer, because an “overt” presenter has (comparatively) more visible switches between alters, with (comparatively) more noticeable differences between their abilities, voices, interests, personalities, mannerisms, etc.

And so, a “covert” presentation is the opposite of this, where the disorder is not very obvious to an outside viewer at all. Switches may seem seamless, or they may seem to not switch at all. Alters do not have as many outwardly visible differences, may have similar or same voices and mannerisms, may not speak openly about their differing opinions or likes/dislikes.

DID is a disorders which forms, as you acknowledge, to protect the haver from trauma. And because the disorder is trying to protect you, it can shift between “overt” to “covert” presentation as needed.

A system may present more overtly, for example, if some alters are better emotionally or physically equipped for a task than others, if some alters are more likely to be treated in the way the system most needs at the time, if some alters have stronger interests and knowledge about a certain subject, etc. And many systems, myself included, find themselves presenting more overtly simply when they are safe and comfortable with the people around them!

In contrast, then, a system may present more covertly when it is not safe to have visible differences, and/or to help disguise the system as one person. Alters may mimic each other to help keep their differences from putting them in danger, and this can happen so discreetly that the system themself may not even be aware of switching when it happens. This being said, systems can also present covertly just because super visible differences are not needed to keep them safe / if being outwardly visibly different from one another doesn’t serve as much of a purpose as being inwardly different.

Systems can also move between these modes for other reasons besides safety and comfort, but as far as I know, those are the main two reasons. And I want to clarify that this move isn’t, most of the time, a conscious choice. The disorder kinda decides for you.

So, if your friend who once presented very overtly around you and spoke of their DID often, is now showing a much more covert presentation and not sharing details of their disorder with you… I have two guesses.

One, your friend may simply be in a different phase of their life, where they don’t feel the need to share many details of their DID with you. People can decide to be more private about things they were once open about, and there’s nothing wrong or suspicious about that.

Two… Your friend is presenting covertly around you for comfort and safety reasons. Maybe they no longer consider you a person they can openly be themselves around.

You might want to reflect on why either of these reasons might be the case. I am not going to tell you your friend is faking. Everything you described is very typical of DID and, again, I think it is very strange you would come into my ask box seeking my opinion on this, as if you assume I, and very good friends of mine, have not presented in similar ways throughout different points in our lives.

Have you considered, I don’t know— just asking about how her headmates have been doing lately? This is indeed a very weird way to handle your feelings about this.

[sophieinwonderland]

what do you and ghost and other alters each like? as in hobbies and interests :o)

Can I tell you a secret? I'm actually the most boring tulpa ever. My primary interest is plural stuff. 🤫

Okay, maybe that's only partially true. See, I've always been fascinated with human psychology since before I became self-aware. I liked knowing what made people tick. I liked understanding the human brain.

And I feel like people don't fully appreciate how incredible it is that such an advanced piece of computing hardware came about through countless permutations of life beginning billions of years ago. Everything about our ability to think and feel emotions and perceive the world is incredible!

And we still don't understand it! We've learned to send people to the moon, we've seen 13 billions year into the past. We've discovered the building blocks of all matter, and found particles even smaller than those.

But we don't know how our brains work or what makes us tick.

So when I became self-aware and learned what I was, it was something new to marvel at. Because no one... really knew. Like, "multiple personalities" had been studied for about a hundred years exclusively in the context of trauma. But there hasn't been much effort to connect that to other similar phenomena like spiritual possession or other forms of voice hearing. And what research does exist is hard to track down.

So there are times when, as I joke above, I feel kind of bad because my primary interest is in plural psychology...

But at the same time, I feel like... how could it not be? How could I not discover my existence and then want to unravel its mysteries so I can understand myself and those like me better? When I realized that I had been thinking for myself for months even as I had been convinced I was imaginary... How could I not be amazed at this incredible potential of the human mind I discovered?

And it feels like we're on the cutting edge of understanding things most actual psychologists haven't really pieced together yet.

One of my favorite posts that I've written is the Manifestations post. And I mean, I think most of the information there was already in the community, albeit scattered. I think most systems knew headmates could exist in the inner world, they could switch, and they could be in a state where they're in the head but without any form. And the tulpamancy community at least knew imposition was a thing, and a lot of other plurals have described similar experiences. I don't think headmates being able to manifest in objects through Inhabitation is quite common knowledge yet. (And I had to coin Inhabitation myself.)

But even for those who knew of these experiences separately, I've never seen anyone put it together in a model like this, saying "here are these five distinct states headmates can be in while conscious."

And so that's a post I feel really proud of, for trying to codify experiences in ways that I think can make them easier to understand.

And I love expanding my understanding of plural psychology and developing new ways to think about it.

...

Anyway, Ghost likes superheroes, Star Wars, card games and stuff. Also Brandon Sanderson books.🤷‍♀️

(Abby is our local artist. But we're not that good at art so she doesn't do it very much, and the others don't really front all that much to develop their own hobbies.)

We have other interests too, but they tend to be more fleeting and on rotation rather being consistent.

...

Oh, and we're not alters. We don't use that word. And I don't really like it because of the association with "alternate personality." (Although nobody seems to be able to agree what alter actually means or where it came from.) It feels to me like it just sort of boils headmates down to what we look like to singlets. Personalities that takeover the body. And it erases the rich diversity of plural experiences.

[red-bat-arse]

Injection Tips for Needle Nervous

From someone who had to deal with a fear of needles while learning how to do testosterone shots. To be clear, I'm 28 years old and have been doing weekly IM injections in my thighs for 18 months.

PREP -Listen to the information given for the possible injection sites; you may prefer or find it easier to deal with IM vs SubQ based on the options your doctor gives you. If you're able, schedule at least 6-8 injection days of clinic visits so a nurse can teach you how to inject properly, and you can take your time absorbing. If you're still nervous, try purchasing a 'shot blocker' since they can help with not feeling the needle. If it's the possible pain that bothers you, I used to pinch hard at the area with my nails to sort of say 'that's what you're expecting, see, it's not that bad!' This technique has also helped me with getting my blood drawn, which to go on T you'll have to deal with as well.

ROUTINE -Once I left the supervision of the clinic nurses and started injecting at home, I made sure to establish a routine. You'll need to find your own, and here's mine for reference; with a little wiggle room (like doing it in the morning if I know I'll be busy in the evening) I stick to the same rhythm every week. Set up my station, use the toilet (you don't want to be antsy handling a needle), press play on a song and wash hands, then my draw system [sanitize stopper, draw, switch needle size, get rid of air bubbles, adjust to relax, sanitize thigh, breathe, inject, pressure with a tissue until the song ends], then I clean up and put the needles immediately in my sharps box. It really helps to know exactly what you're getting into so unexpected changes (like injecting while a little drunk, I don't recommend this but it might happen) are easier to handle.

DISCIPLINE -I put on a 5 minute song and do my whole routine in that time, it works for me. Too short and you'll feel rushed, too long and you might procrastinate, so get into the habit. I give myself a four hour window and as soon as I feel like I could do it, I go for it.

CHILL -As mentioned, I put on a song, for me stoner metal or blues works the best since it soothes and zones me in. I do my shot in the evening so if I freak out a bit I can just go to bed. I put on my comfiest layers and have a treat after, too.

EXPERIMENT -While there are aspects of it all you must do a certain way, you won't always know the best way to do things for yourself of available options even once you've been taught, so let yourself feel it out. I was shown the quick jab method at first to get over my hesitation, but now I find I feel it less if I insert the needle slowly. I switched from 25G to 22G needles when the smaller size proved more difficult to inject due to the consistency of testosterone, and I also found a shorter needle length got rid of some residual anxiety over the actual insertion part. I used to do everything in the morning and now I solely do it in the evening. You can change some parts of the process to make yourself feel better! 

FRIEND -I've got an assistant who sits on my other leg while I go through my routine, his name is Snippers;

And I've found I'm less jittery with him there and my heart races less in the preamble to actually piercing skin. I keep him with me afterwards especially if I had a harder time than usual, which can happen even after doing this a long time.

And lastly;

BELAY THAT -Give yourself an out. Besides a situation like if I run out before my prescription can get refilled, I told myself I could skip one (1) injection per year, if I was having a super bad time and just couldn't. So far I haven't had to use it -at the most I've just waited until the next evening. My doctor has said that's fine and I don't have to inform her if I skip once, but that might not be the same for everyone. Either way I think giving yourself breathing room is essential to take the pressure off -self-injecting might be affirming, but it isn't always fun or easy!

I also think it should go without saying that these tips are things that have helped based on my own personal experience from the past year and a half. It's fine if they don't work for you or you don't think they're helpful at all -the trans* experience is wide and varied. I'm also not giving anyone medical advice -always learn how to properly administer your medication from a professional. Here is an article about general HRT self injection that may be some help.

But, if you do have difficulty with needles, hopefully this gave you some tips and tricks that could make the process feel more manageable.

[gar-a-ash]

Oh my fucking god so I went and got the follow up ultrasound for that cyst and got a voicemail a week later saying "Hey, the cyst cleared up, call us back if you have any questions!" and obviously I did not have any questions except annoyance that it wasn't the problem because my symptoms keep getting worse and worse and then when I called them back yesterday about something completely different the RECEPTIONIST tells me "Oh by the way the nurse wanted to talk to you about the fibroid they found" like???????? YOU COULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING IN THE VOICEMAIL YOU LEFT A MONTH AGO?

Anyways I called to explicitly ask about getting a local anesthetic for an IUD placement because I need to be on a hormonal birth control to manage my symptoms (which is failing) and they told me I really needed to be switched off the pill because it's been over ten years and I was informed that they will NOT offer me a local. Refusing to give me one. They want to give me something for my anxiety and have me take an Advil beforehand. Getting a local is not an option. The reason I initially went is because I haven't been able to have penetrative sex in three years because it's so painful. But they will not give me a local. Also they didn't think informing me about the fibroid they found was a concern. This is the same medical system that found lumps of mystery tissue next to my spine and said it's probably not a big deal so there's no need to investigate it. Other doctors out of this system are at least an hour's drive away.

I fucking hate the medical system in the US.

[the-astrophel-system]

took those questions from one of the "system ask games" and answering them here. why? bc i wanna answer them, i dont wanna wait for asks, and you cant stop me /lh

🥀 - do you keep track of your alter count? how do you do so?

yeah we do! or at least try to. we personally have done it through journalling and using simply plural. we mainly use sp now, as journalling is more so for communication / vent / memory purposes.

🫀 - do you have non-human alters? what species are they?

yeah! just over half of us are 'non-human', but that varies from part human (fae, hybrids, mermaids, etc) to full animals (cat, fox) and even objects.

🍄 - when did you realise you had a complex dissociative disorder?

i believe the body was 13? eh ill say 13-14 years old, as a bit of a range because there was about a year and a bit of researching and tracking symptoms and whatnot before we really understood / knew we had it.

📻 - do you experience amnesia?

yes a lot. whether it emotional amnesia or grey outs, or forgetting day-to-day things, yeah. a lot of amnesia can happen with switches, though its rarely black-outs for us, and sometimes we have amnesia even when there hasn't been a switch.

🥩 - who was the most recent split?

for personal reasons, not gonna answer this one <33

🦴 - do you have an innerworld? what does it look like?

oh my fuck, we could make a whole post about our innerworld and all the different areas. we do have an innerworld, and its existed for as long as i can remember. its changed over time and some places change how it looks daily, but we can make a whole post about it all.

🦷 - what’s a fun fact about the current fronter(s)?

ooooh a fun fact abt me. i would sayyyy, i named myself after a character in a fanfiction <3

💀 - is your system more overt or covert?

covert. when we're with people we trust and feel safe with, we present more overtly. however with day-to-day, its definitely covert. our switches can be smooth, or sometimes we straight up leave the room and have privacy. we all tend to mask, even if its just a little bit. if you knew we were a system, you might be able to catch a switch here or there. but i think thats only if you know what you're looking for.

🍷 - does your music taste differ from alter to alter? how?

a bit, yeah. mostly all of us kinda like alt or indie music. some of us love musicials while others dont. skye, she fucking loves raps, while others cant stand rap music. some like more heavier music, while pretty much all our syskids like soft songs. we have different playlists on spotify that haven't been updated in months </3

🦇 - do you have any friends with CDDs?

yes we have one with a cdd <3

📺 - are you “heavy” with any type of alter? (e.g. syskid-heavy, introject-heavy, etc.)

we are non-human (57.6%), and 'brainmade' heavy (65.8%). were the percentages needed? ofc not. did i still spend 20 mins figuring it out? yeah.

if you have any questions abt our system, or want us to do another of these (if we can find another) just let us know!

- clem (she/her)

[prismit]

ok finished the dlc (not 100% yet though) lol so here's my thoughts

positives:

INFINITE FLIGHT IS SO NICEEEE GETTING AROUND AREAS WITH A LOT OF CLIFFS DOESN'T FEEL LIKE A CHORE ANYMORE

the synchro machine is so cool. so cool. it's so much less restricted than i thought it would be, like as far as i can tell the only restrictions are that you don't really have any vertical mobility, and you can only do it in the terarium. i also imagine it'll be huge for shiny hunting things like minior since it makes auto battling so much smoother. also minior is back and that's another positive :D (EDIT: nevermind about the shiny hunting thing, just learned that your pokemon WILL kill shinies while using it. also now that i think about it, if you found a shiny while in sync mode you wouldn't be able to catch it anyways since when you exit sync mode you go back to your trainer's position and the shiny would despawn. still good for getting 60 ko's in outbreaks though. btw yes i learned this the hard way BUT fortunately i did think to save before trying it so the sacrificial shiny deerling has been caught)

i do like that bbqs give an incentive to just run around and do things you normally wouldn't, instead of just fast travelling everywhere. another thing that makes getting from place to place less tedious, since you feel like the journey is working towards other things on top of just getting where you need to be

the music!!! the music!!!

i immediately fell in love with all the elite four members lmao like their designs and personalities are so fun

the story is pretty good too! definitely not as good as the base game but either way, these games kept strong with the writing all the way through imo (by pokemon standards, anyway. lol)

the new pokemon designs are so cool!!! i think there's 3 i still haven't seen yet but i'm looking forward to them!

negatives:

THE RETURNING LEGENDARIES ARE SHINY LOCKED. WHY. if it weren't for the synchro machine and the fact that they play their original battle themes, i would have literally 0 incentive to encounter them (and i'm aware that that's just a me thing but like. come ON). i hope whoever came up with the idea of shiny locking pokemon has a noticeable stomach ache for the rest of their life.

also on the synchro machine, one annoying little thing about it is that you can't use it if you sent out your pokemon while riding ko/miraidon. as in, even if you get off your mount, you still have to retrieve your pokemon and send it back out before it lets you sync. i imagine this is unintended, and i hope they fix it but they don't really have a good track record of fixing small annoyances like this. (edit: nevermind???? i have no idea how it works actually. sometimes it just says you can't and doesn't say why)

i wish switch games would stop making their camera functions send pictures directly to the system's photo album instead of having an in-game album, and then having little repeatable tasks that require you to take pictures. i don't want 700 pictures of swimming pokemon clogging up my sd card, please at least have a "do you want to save this image" prompt or something

and that's all i can say for now! i still have a bunch of side stuff to do but there's my post-credits thoughts :) overall i really like the dlc!!! the negatives are all pretty small and are very much outweighed by the positives for me. just sucks about the shiny locks though >:/

[shitty-goose-quack]

hey! pippa here :-)

i was wondering how common it was for a system to have very few people, like under five. also, whether it’s possible for it to be very rare that anyone other than the core (i think that’s the term) is in control?

Hi pippa/helena I am Quinn, I'm also the core, or at least the most like our core. Systems can come in all shapes and sizes, I am part of a traumagenic system (meaning my system formed from trauma), and you'll find that there is a lot of hate and discourse about traumagenic/endogenic systems (we personally try to stay out of all that). in any case, if you are also traumagenic then jake and whoever else might be there formed so that you didn't have to deal with all the trauma all the time. That doesn't mean that having only a few headmates (parts, alters, people in your head, whatever term(s) you chose to use) is because you didn't have enough trauma, it could be a bunch of things, but please don't feel invalid because you only have a few.

-switch lol, thea they/she now-

it's also possible that you guys haven't learned how to unmask yet, some signs of that include

feeling foggy all the time

not being sure who you are at any given moment

feeling like you're faking it

jake being able to pretend to be you very easily and quickly

it's very common when you first realize you're a system, because the point is not knowing you have headmates. So, maybe Jake is just the most vocal/different headmate, and in learning that you'll discover more.* or maybe not, maybe it's just you 2 and that's okay too!

as for your second question yes, that is also possible, and in that case your core would also be your 'host' or the person who fronts most often

quick side note, core is typically used to refer to the child who was there before splitting (usualy around 7), and from splitting to realizing you're a system it's assumed that a bunch of people fronted until you realized. Then the host, which is usually (but not always) the person in your system that goes by your birthname, identifies with that gender, etc. Anyway, hosts are technically the people/person that front the most often, but we use it like "the people that the rest of us pretend to be like"

.switch back to Quinn.

There's also stuff called co-consciousness, which would be like you can hear jake in your head but you are the one in control, and co-fronting, which would be like you are both in control and talk to each other.

So yeah I hope that answered your questions, sorry for the late reply again, I think we're in different time zones. I can link you to some recourses/answer more questions if you want, just let us know

edited by Quinn: *yeah that seams like that's what happened after reading your posts, colored text is a really good way of keeping track, good job! im proud of all of you for figuring this out, and for making picrews (we still can't make picrews and we've been aware for going on 8 months lol). i just want to remind you all that being foggy is okay. not knowing who's who is okay. not knowing when switching happens is okay. don't beat yourselves up about it, it'll come with time and practice, and it wont hurt anything if you accidentally mix it up and type as someone else. you'll learn and move on. It might sometimes feel like you're faking it, that'll also fade with time. remember: people know if they're faking something. people know if they intentionally set out to fake something. if you didn't, you're not faking. If it turns out you guys are not a system but it turns out it's something else, it will not hurt the anyone, you'll just have made a mistake in figuring out who you are, and that's okay. We love you and we're rooting for you 😘🤗.

[clatterbane]

Hallelujah, they managed NOT to comprehensively fuck up my blood sugar again at that full anesthesia gastroscopy session today!

The dotted line section was when I was in the OR and recovery, with the sensor well out of Bluetooth range of my phone. They decided to put me on some glucose again in the IV because somebody thought it was running too low (?). Because hospitals. It was at a decent fasting level, and the chance of it not staying fairly stable during the short procedure was vanishingly low. From past experience.

But, at least I was not dealing with that same dangerously misinformed anesthesiologist, and they actually showed a little sense with it this time. My blood sugar stayed in range, and they didn't leave the glucose drip going for that long. The long-acting background insulin in my system was evidently enough to bring that shit back down after they stopped it. Also, nobody came at me today with random doses of long-acting insulin "to keep me from going hypoglycemic".

Kind of a low bar, but I was honestly pretty concerned after last month's shitshow.

Oh yes, and I also managed to avoid any asthma episodes from the inevitable tracheal tube irritation making me cough. Haven't been needing it otherwise for a good while now, but I preemptively started using the steroid inhaler again after that last appointment--specifically in hopes that it might calm that shit down. Which it did thankfully seem to.

Otherwise, it was more of the same. Rather pointlessly cooped up from 7:30 to around 1:30 on the outpatient surgery unit, in a funky button-up hospital nightshirt, with my troublesome-bendy autistic hyperactive-ADHD ass expected to stay put in a hospital bed other than popping to the bathroom. Which I resisted the urge to do more than a few times, just to move around and decompress a little in a private space. At least I did remember to bring a power bank along for my phone this time, because yeah you're liable to need it when that's the main distraction available over like 7 hours.

I am so done, and also still unsurprisingly pretty achy from spending so long stuck in that bed. Frequently changing positions or no. This new arrangement still really sucks ass compared to the relatively low-stress (very much including physically!) in-and-out visits straight through the endoscopy department that I was having before whoever decided to switch over to this new rigmarole.

But, the experience was still a lot less bad overall than either of the previous times I've gone through outpatient surgery. And at least everyone was acting decent. (Which seems to be the norm at that hospital so far.) Which is certainly worth something. I am also relieved to be able to eat better again once the sore throat calms down some, since it did decide to tighten up again enough to cause problems.

I am still extremely glad to have that done and over with for another month, however.

[mmx-zero]

Warning: there is some ranting involved but it's ok if you choose to ignore it...

God fucking damnit every time a game is on sale I'm usually a couple fucking dollars short! Mega man 11 is on sale on the switch shop online for 10 bucks and I only have around 6 dollars on me damn cash app! I've been eyeing this game for a while now and I wanna give my sister the Christmas money I got so that she could put it on my cash app but she doesn't have the money rn until maybe tomorrow but the sale ends tomorrow! Gah I hate it when I see shit last minute and I don't have enough for it. Don't y'all just fucking hate it when that happens??? I'm always short on shit and it's frustrating..not like I can get a damn job because my sister hasn't had the time to reevaluate my SSI because if I had a job it would affect how much my sister gets from the SSI for me because she's in charge of that stuff and we just haven't had the time. I don't have a damn phone number either to set up a PayPal and do a Ko-fi or Patreon to charge for art so that's fucking great. I wish I didn't feel so stuck I wanna be able to buy my own wants and needs but I have to fucking rely on surveys and other things and it frustrating. I wanna also have a job to help my family out because we struggle a bit sometimes. Why does life like this have to be so damn hard. At least my Christmas gift my brother in law's twin sister got me is coming on the 7th from Amazon but I think it's coming so late is because of what I heard about the recent Amazon strike. I'm sorry y'all have to see me like this but I hate being fucking helpless and not being able to do things on my own because tbh I almost have no fucking clue what I am doing in life. I wanted to fucking work for Nintendo as an art designer or music designer but I don't think that's ever gonna happen. I'm sorry for ranting I just need to get it out of my system. *Gets into a fetal position and just contemplates life* I wanna be able to do something instead of being stuck in my house most of the time because I don't even know where to go cause I don't even have a fucking car and idk if I'll be able to because idk if I'm functioning enough to even have a car due to my disability. I also wanna buy things for my family too but it's been sorta rough a bit. I do apologize again but I just need to let it out my system before I cry it out instead.

[chrysaoravioli]

2nd Year Anniversary: Happy Little Experiments

Remember this?

It's hard to believe an entire year has flown by and yet, I don't really have much to show for it, huh? At least, in terms of completed projects... nada. Zilch.

It seems like I've simply rested on my laurels, haven't I? Well, not quite...

A Nagging Feeling

While I was making the Bayonetta 3 combo video, I kept finding myself thinking, "Hey, what if this move was backported to a previous game?" or "Man, this hit reaction state was so cool. What if we could port it forward?". And as I kept working on this project, the list of musings kept growing bigger and bigger.

After the combo video was released, it was clear that the completion of this project had left me a bit empty. I found that it was difficult for other games to keep my attention because Bayonetta 3, despite some of its faults, had set an incredibly high bar for mechanical satisfaction that only one other game has ever surpassed (hint, it's also another Platinum title :D ).

For some time, I was contemplating what I should do next. Another combo video? Maybe creating the high level guides that I had briefly talked about? What about the violin covers? I kept going back and forth, and yet, I always came back to my list of "what ifs". There was this nagging feeling, a sort of itch that was just out of reach that desperately needed to be scratched (i'm not a good writer, why did you choose this metaphor).

I simply concluded, "eh, why not? Let's learn how to make a game because it's bothering me."

Giving Unreal Engine a Shot

Those of you that have been following my Twitter may have noticed an uptick of Unreal related tweets around March 2024. That's when I had a few personal breakthroughs and was absolutely excited to share any and all progress, no matter how inconsequentially basic.

You see, I had actually began experimenting with game engines around July 2023. After the Unity debacle in September, I made the switch to Unreal but I found it an absolute behemoth of a program to parse. In addition, I made the mistake of following a book that also taught C++ for Unreal, leaving me incredibly frustrated and lost. All I could think was "god, I really hate programming."

However, around March, I decided to sit down and just start from scratch. Forget finishing that silly book, just try to do something simple like... making a door open without writing a single line of code.

I Don't Actually Hate Programming...

...as long as it's Blueprints.

You see, this visual scripting system is actually a godsend. Forget about header files. Forget about trying to figure out the exact syntax. Forget about what feels like arbitrary words that somehow makes the computer do things. Instead, just take these coloured blocks, connect them with little wires, and hey, it spits out the same exact result as the hieroglyphics you've been trying to learn!

And holy ****, it actually makes sense! This node based scripting system allowed me to perfectly visualize and execute any idea that I had in my head. It's so freakin' convenient!

Only two weeks later, I was able to craft a basic initial framework for a dial combo system, similar to the one found in Bayonetta 2 & 3.

By then, I was locked in. Seriously. As soon as 5 PM rolled around, for two months straight, I would begin experimenting with charged attack inputs, delay combos, and a little system for evaluating left stick inputs to enable command attacks. By May, I was even brave enough to begin experimenting with hitboxes.

There's still so much more work to do but I was absolutely over the moon. Unreal Engine satisfied that same mechanical desire that I had felt when playing Bayonetta 3 but I still hungered for more...

A Self-Imposed Challenge

In June, I decided to challenge myself by recreating a specific mechanic from a game within a month. I needed a bit of a breather, as I knew that working on the stylish action system required a lot of interconnected subsystems that was beginning to feel overwhelming. So, I decided to work on recreating part of the painting system from Splatoon.

In the first week, I researched Render Targets and learned how to draw a simple shape into the RT. This simply uses the "Find Collision UV" node from a trace hit, then draws the painting material to the Render Target at the hit UV coordinate.

In the second week, I decided to go a little further and apply an entire Render Target to a custom mesh. This required creating a second UV channel with custom UVs so that the paint could be "continuous". However, one issue is that if an UV island wasn't scaled properly, the paint blob would become distorted.

In the third week, I took the plunge into the Material Graph so that I could figure out how to restrict painting surfaces. There was a lot to learn since creating the necessary functions to manipulate colour was a bit of a foreign concept to me. In the end, I was able to successfully figure out a solution that restricts a paintable wall with a mask.

In the final week, a Tricolour painting system that was much closer to Splatoon! While I'm still using the somewhat questionable custom UV channel albeit with more uniform UV islands, I can have multiple static meshes that share the same Render Target! Team Alpha, Bravo, and Charlie paint into their respective R, G, or B channels of the Render Target, which is then processed into a material to transform these into the appropriate colours defined in a Material Parameter Collection.

While there's still work to do in figuring out how to turn this into an interactive game element, I'm fairly proud of my work in this month long exercise. I learned a lot about the Material Graph and have even begun researching into how to bring all of this stuff that lives on the GPU, back to the CPU in a performant manner.

What's Next for Year 3?

For the time being, that little nagging feeling of mine has led me to realize that I'm really happy and satisfied as I slowly tinker away in Unreal Engine. It does mean I'll have to sacrifice some of my video ideas but I think that's okay.

I'm not really that old but I'm also not getting any younger. While I did enjoy making the combo videos and violin cover, they end up feeling so ephemeral that I think my time is much better spent on something that can have a more lasting impact.

So, as long as these little experiments continue to satisfy my curiosity and engineering spirit, that's what I'll stick to for the foreseeable future. And who knows, maybe if things pan out, you'll be able to play and experience the results of my experiments a year from now! Wish me luck!

While I wished I could've done more for my channel, I still hope you'll continue to support me in the future. Thank you so much for all of you who have stuck around!

Best wishes!

chrysaora 🎐

[bubblyaquarium]

we're going to do all of these and yes it took like two hours but I had fun. just a warning this is super long lmao

1. What is your System name and / or the name you collectively go by?

Our system name is The Aquarium. We won't share the name we collectively go by / the body's name for privacy reasons, but it's nothing fun lmao it's a basic white boy name.

2. Which word do you prefer to use for your System? (example: System, Collective, Constellation, ...)

We prefer either system or plurality, Circus likes to jokingly call us a 'school' since our theme is based on fish. We also use Aquarium as a collective term for ourselves.

3. What are your Systems origins, if you choose to label them?

We use the term quoigenic as we partially don't know fully how we formed and partially because we don't want to talk about it, at least not publicly on our blog.

4. Do you have any Subsystems?

Nope.

5. Do you have any Sidesystems?

Nope.

6. What is your opinion on you& / your& language and similar types?

For us personally we don't use it, but I think it's a cool way to refer to yourself/others for those that do! It is a tad confusing for us though

7. What methods do you use to keep track of your System and it's Members?

Simply Plural is our main way of documenting everyone, we have pronoun.cc and pluralkit but those tend to be outdated.

8. What is your Systems ways of communication?

We don't really do anything to communicate to each other, we remember (almost) everything between switches so we haven't really had a need to. We can talk to each other or at least sense each other's feelings when co-fronting together.

9. Is communication hard or easy for you (and why is it the way it is)?

I guess it's fairly easy?

10. Do you view yourselves as parts of one person or as multiple people in one body?

It depends on the headmate, most of us see ourselves as parts of the core (albeit differently sized pieces of the core), though a feel of us (like Mirror, Ren, and Breeze for example) feel like separate people.

11. Who are you out to as plural?

Just our one close friend, who is also a system.

12. What languages do you collectively / one of you speak?

Only English unfortunately, we want to learn more but we are so inconstant we haven't been able to get past a few weeks before dropping it.

13. What is something you can't seem to collectively agree on?

Our hair lmao, it changes all the time.

14. If you have a collective Identity (such as Gender or Orientation), what is it?

Transgender guy and gay acespec.

15. Do you collectively identify as queer / LGBTQIA+?

Yep! Almost all of us are queer in some way.

16. Do you collectively identify as Otherkin, Alterhuman or Nonhuman?

Collectively we're demihuman (part human part not), though some of us have specific kintypes. Angel is dollkin, Circus is a cat therian, Ty is nonhuman, plus we have physically nonhuman headmates as well.

17. Do you have a collective rentry / carrd / something along those lines? (feel free to share!)

Nope, we tried rentry but didn't like it much.

18. What does switching feel like for you?

For the most part it's real subtle and we don't notice it until later, but for a few of us it's more intense. Switching to Corci feels almost like having part of ourselves 'turned off', like we lose energy and our emotions become dull. Switching to Ro is like having someone else force their way into your brain, it makes us confused and dizzy. Sometimes switching out makes us feel jittery or causes us to dissociate, it depends.

19. Are you Monoconscious, Polyconscious or something else?

I believe hydraconcious, it's hard to wrap my head around having different consciousness or what that feels like so it's really hard to tell.

20. What does fronting feel like for you?

For me (Corci) it's feels like I'm in a dream, kind of like I'm just autopiloting through things but I'm only half-there. However I am often very dissociated and I know it's not that way for everyone.

21. How many System members do you have?

As of right now 33.

22. Which word / words do you prefer to use for members of your System?

I personally prefer headmates or members, though some of us use the term alter. A few of us refer to everyone as 'the others'.

23. Which age group seems to be the most common in your System?

Early to mid twenties, which is the bodies age.

24. Which gender seems to be the most common in your System?

Definitely male or masc-aligned.

25. Are there any talents / hobbies you picked up because of a Member?

No, but I'm not the right person to ask as I don't really enjoy any hobbies, and don't do the ones we share.

26. Do you have any in-system relationships?

Nope, I'm one of the headmates that's more like a piece of the core, and we don't have relationships, that's just the ones that are more separate.

27. Do you label roles within your System (and if yes, which ones?)

There's too many to list, but we tend to use more specific roles (like I'm technically a protector, but I use the term buffer, which is a more specific variation of protector).

28. Are most of your Members introjected, brainmade or something else?

I'd say it's 50/50, though brainmade headmates tend to be more complex and fully formed people than the introjects are.

29. Do you use names, emojis or something similar to sign off messages (and if yes, which ones and why?)

We use our names, we do have emojis but they're mostly just for fun and ngl we tend to forget ours.

30. Do any of your System members use Xenogenders?

Yes! Circus uses a lot (audiogender, stickhoardic, catgender, clutterboy, sanriogender, clowngender, etc etc, ze is a gender hoarder), and Buttercream is girlthing.

31. How do Members pick face claims?

We all tend to form with a pretty vivid idea of what we look like, so it isn't to hard for us to make ourselves in picrew.

32. Do you have any Introjects of popular sources?

Dio and Ro are both from jjba, and we have a bunch of introjects from nct.

33. Do you have any Introjects of unpopular sources?

Sian from tfn and both Oz and Pigtails are from IDV, which idk if that's considered unpopular or not but we don't see introjects from it often.

34. Do you have nonhuman Members?

Yes, quite a few. Pigtails and Oz are both dolls, Percy is a forest spirit, Buttercream is a deity, Zee is a virtual zombie, and Breeze is a dryad.

35. Do any of you use Typing Quirks?

Idk if it's a quirk or if it just can't spell, but Zee spells a lot of things weird.

36. Do all of you front, or only a selected amount?

Most of us do, there's a handful that can't. Dio, Sunny, Marky, Jay, Wyatt, Lenny, and Johnny have never fronted. Mirror can front but does so rarely, she usually is just co-con.

37. Are there any Members who can't or prefer to not speak?

Jett is semiverbal and struggles to speak, Amy doesn't speak often we assume because she's shy, and Percy is fully mute.

38. Are most of you short or tall in height?

Kind of in between, most of us are around 5'7 (the body's height) though some of us are shorter (Zee, Deliliah, Ren, Percy) and some are very tall (Buttercream and Oz).

39. Is there a Member that is collectively loved by all in the System?

We all like each other for the most part but we all adore the littles, and as our peacemaker Chloe gets along well with everyone.

40. Do any of you struggle with being front-stuck a lot of the time?

I do, yes. During stressful periods in our life I tend to get either frontstuck or switch out near constantly. No one else has that issue though.

41. Do you have a Headspace (if not, is there a reason)?

Not really? Mostly because we struggle to visualize, though we'd really like one.

42. What does your Headspace look like?

As I said we don't really have one, but there's a few places we have: a big dark room with a huge fishtank in the middle (for destressing or a place to hide when we're super overwhelmed or overstimulated), an alleyway where Chaos lives, and a fancy room with a library where Dio lives.

43. How do Members look like in Headspace? (example: Cartoony, Foggy, Realistic, ...)

Pretty realistic, we have a good sense of our what we look like.

44. Is there a reason why the Headspace looks the way it looks?

Skipping because we don't really have a headspace

45. Is it easy for you to enter Headspace?

It's very challenging for us

46. Do you remember what happened in Headspace when you switch into front?

Yes but then again nothing really happens there

47. Does time in Headspace pass (and if yes, is it at the same speed as in real life)?

No idea

48. What is your favourite place in Headspace?

I mean there's not much there lmao but for sure the fishtank room, it's so calming

49. Are there "NPCs" within your Headspace?

No, unless we're counting the fish

50. Are there any interesting fun facts about your Headspace?

Nope

51. Are there any "System Stereotypes" you fit into?

We have the stereotypical 'edgy persecutor' and a lot of introjects from our hyperfixations.

52. Who of you would be considered the "evil alter"? (in a lighthearted, joking manner)

Chaos 100%

53. What is your favourite inside-joke with a Member?

I can't think of any rn

54. What is your favourite Plural meme?

55. Is there any character that you headcanon as plural?

It's like semi-canon but Foo Fighters from jjba

56. Is there any show or movie that you believe is a good plural representation, despite that not being its intention?

I haven't seen many tbh

57. Is there any song that you believe describes your plural experience?

Not that I can think of

58. What about an artwork that describes your plural experience?

None

59. Which Member of your System do you believe to be the prettiest of them all?

Sian lmao he's our pretty boy, I think Buttercream is pretty too though

60. Do you collectively have a lucky number?

83 is our collective lucky number, I personally favor the number 9

61. When did you first discover your System?

A few years ago but we kind of just ignored it lmao

62. How many Members did you know about during your Syscovery?

6 or 7 (Gray, Delilah, Mirror, Rocky, Breeze, and Chaos + the 'core' or Inky at the time)

63. Was accepting your Plurality a challenge for you?

Oh yeah. Before knowing much about plurality we thought the concept was super cool (like not the trauma behind it obviously, but the way people's brains could just. Form other people) so we felt like we were unconsciously faking because we thought it was interesting, hence we ignored it for years.

64. How did you learn about Plurality?

Partially through tiktok (that's where we first heard of it), but we learned about it through an old friend of ours that's a system.

65. Where there any signs of your Plurality, if you look back at your past?

Yeah for sure, starting at age 13 or 14 we had a lot of instances where Chaos fronted, as well as Buttercream, which looking back is very obvious as they are super different from Chloe, who was the host back then.

66. Do you think your Syscovery changed a lot in your life?

Not really tbh, it's been a comfort to have names to our different 'moods' but it doesn't really affect how we live day to day life

67. If you're out to others as plural, have they ever told you later on that they already thought about it before you realized?

Nope.

68. What was the biggest struggle during your Syscovery?

Differentiating between mood swings and actual headmates.

69. Was there any big event that led to your Syscovery?

Not really? It was a gradual realization during a rough period in our life that hey, sometimes when things are super shitty I start using different pronouns that's weird

70. What is something you want questioning plurals to know?

It's okay to not know everything right away, it takes a while to process and learn all the terms and figure out headmates, and sometimes you need to just exist without worrying about who you are and who's in your head.

71. Are you Neurodivergent (and if yes, how?)

Yes, we might(?) have ADHD, plus a couple personality disorders which are like our Main Issues lmao, being plural is almost like a secondary thing

72. Do you have any physical disability?

Uh...maybe? We don't feel disabled enough to call ourselves disabled but we for sure aren't fully able bodied.

73. Do you have a dissociative disorder?

No idea

74. Do you have any other disorder?

Borderline Personality Disorder 🤩 we have npd as well but bpd affects us the most by far it SUCKS

75. Do symptom vary in intensity depending on the fronter?

Yes! I'm the bpd holder so bpd seems to affect me more than the others (Delilah and Chaos as well), and npd affects Angel the most. Circus has the worst ADHD symptoms.

76. Do you think your disability / disorder has an influence on your plurality?

For sure, we're heavily affected by bpd and it causes us to be blurry a lot as well as making it hard to keep track of headmates as we have awful mood swings and identity issues and it's hard to tell what's an episode and what's a new headmate. In fact we sometimes wonder if most of if not all of us are made up just to explain away how inconsistent our personality is, which even if that is true we've found a lot of comfort in being a system and it's helped us tons so we wouldn't change how we label ourselves even if we aren't wrong.

77. Do you have amnesia of any kind?

Mostly emotional amnesia, though we have memory blocks between certain headmates, like Mirror and Buttercream.

78. Are there Members who deal better with symptoms than others?

Some of us cope with things better than others.

79. Do your disorders / disabilities influence communication or switching within your System in any way?

It makes it harder to keep track of switches

80. Does being plural help with your disorders in any way? (example: another Member switching in to take care of the body during difficult times, ...)

Yes but I don't feel like elaborating rn

81. Which is your favourite plural flag?

I'm biased but I like the quoigenic flag most. It's like a sunset over the ocean.

82. If you have one, which is your favourite plurality related tumblr blog?

This one (pluralasking) not to be a suck up lmao we just like answering questions

83. What is a fun fact about your System?

We are collectively super hyperfixated on scambaiting! I can't tell you how many hours we've spend watching / listening to youtube videos and livestreams of scambaiters. We know Way Too Much about how scams work.

84. What is a flavour of ice cream that describes you collectively?

Cookies and cream. Don't ask why the vibes are just right.

85. Which pride flag is the prettiest, in your collective opinion?

We love pride flags but our favorites are omnisexual, queer, and abrosexual. Plus there are a ton of xenogender flags we like as well.

86. If you collectively had to choose between being a sweet or a sour candy, which do you pick?

Sweet

87. Your body always morphs into what the current fronter(s) look like, would you want this power or not?

Uhh for me it wouldn't make much a difference. I supposed overall it would be cool but considering how often we switch it would bring a lot of unwanted attention, plus we don't always want it to be known who is fronting

88. Is there a Hatsune Miku in your System?

No lmao

89. Who has been in your System the longest (if you can remember)?

Chloe is the original so for sure her. Amy, Breeze, Chaos/Corci (we split off from each other at some point but we used to be the same person I'm pretty sure), and Buttercream have also been here a while.

90. If you collectively had to choose, would you rather only eat sweet foods or only eat savoury foods for the rest of your life?

Collectively sweet, but I prefer savory

91. If you collectively had to choose, would you pick to become a vampire or a werewolf?

Vampire

92. Your body is transfered into one of your Members sources, which do you pick and why?

Sian, his source is pretty and gives us a lot of gender envy

93. If all of you turned into animals right this second, which animals would we find in your System?

A lot of cats, deer, and mice lmao

94. What would a Minecraft server with all of your Members look like? (example: chaotic, peaceful, laggy, ...)

A mess, just all sorts of unfinished houses and farms everywhere. And we'd only play on create mode.

95. If you could choose between only living in Headspace or only living in Meatspace (real life), which would you choose?

Headspace, idk if it's basically nonexistent I don't like the real world

96. What topic would you collectively make a youtube channel about? (it can't be plurality!)

Scambaiting, or queer or otherkin related stuff

97. Which superpower would your body obtain, if you had to collectively decide on one?

Shapeshifting or invisibility (or like making ourselves unnoticeable to people)

98. Who would pick the coolest tattoo for the System and who would pick the worst?

Coolest would be Chaos (he wants us to get a snake that wraps around our arm) and worst would be Circus (it would be something jjba related I just know it)

99. If you only were allowed to eat one food for the rest of your life, but you would have to decide on the food collectively, what would it be and what would the decision making look like?

Ramen because A) it's easy B) we all like it and C) I'm the host and I say ramen

100. What is the most fun about doing polls and answering questions, in your opinion?

Talking about ourselves lmao, we have npd we will take any excuse to focus on ourselves

#One-Hundred

[pt: #one-hundred]

In order to celebrate 100 days of posting, here are 100 questions for you to answer! You can either answer them all at once, or let others send in the numbers they are most curious about!

Some of them are general questions, others are just really silly and should not be taken too serious. I put a lot of effort into coming up with all of these, so I truely hope you have fun with this!

For simplicity sake, all questions will use the words "System" and "Members".

1. What is your System name and / or the name you collectively go by?

2. Which word do you prefer to use for your System? (example: System, Collective, Constellation, ...)

3. What are your Systems origins, if you choose to label them?

4. Do you have any Subsystems?

5. Do you have any Sidesystems?

6. What is your opinion on you& / your& language and similar types?

7. What methodes do you use to keep track of your System and it's Members?

8. What is your Systems ways of communication?

9. Is communication hard or easy for you (and why is it the way it is)?

10. Do you view yourselves as parts of one person or as multiple people in one body?

11. Who are you out to as plural?

12. What languages do you collectively / one of you speak?

13. What is something you can't seem to collectively agree on?

14. If you have a collective Identity (such as Gender or Orientation), what is it?

15. Do you collectively identify as queer / LGBTQIA+?

16. Do you collectively identify as Otherkin, Alterhuman or Nonhuman?

17. Do you have a collective rentry / carrd / something along those lines? (feel free to share!)

18. What does switching feel like for you?

19. Are you Monoconscious, Polyconscious or something else?

20. What does fronting feel like for you?

21. How many System members do you have?

22. Which word / words do you prefer to use for members of your System?

23. Which age group seems to be the most common in your System?

24. Which gender seems to be the most common in your System?

25. Are there any talents / hobbies you picked up because of a Member?

26. Do you have any in-system relationships?

27. Do you label roles within your System (and if yes, which ones?)

28. Are most of your Members introjected, brainmade or something else?

29. Do you use names, emojis or something similar to sign off messages (and if yes, which ones and why?)

30. Do any of your System members use Xenogenders?

31. How do Members pick face claims?

32. Do you have any Introjects of popular sources?

33. Do you have any Introjects of unpopular sources?

34. Do you have nonhuman Members?

35. Do any of you use Typing Quirks?

36. Do all of you front, or only a selected amount?

37. Are there any Members who can't or prefer to not speak?

38. Are most of you short or tall in height?

39. Is there a Member that is collectively loved by all in the System?

40. Do any of you struggle with being front-stuck a lot of the time?

41. Do you have a Headspace (if not, is there a reason)?

42. What does your Headspace look like?

43. How do Members look like in Headspace? (example: Cartoony, Foggy, Realistic, ...)

44. Is there a reason why the Headspace looks the way it looks?

45. Is it easy for you to enter Headspace?

46. Do you remember what happened in Headspace when you switch into front?

47. Does time in Headspace pass (and if yes, is it at the same speed as in real life)?

48. What is your favourite place in Headspace?

49. Are there "NPCs" within your Headspace?

50. Are there any interesting fun facts about your Headspace?

51. Are there any "System Stereotypes" you fit into?

52. Who of you would be considered the "evil alter"? (in a lighthearted, joking manner)

53. What is your favourite inside-joke with a Member?

54. What is your favourite Plural meme?

55. Is there any character that you headcanon as plural?

56. Is there any show or movie that you believe is a good plural representation, despite that not being its intention?

57. Is there any song that you believe decribes your plural experience?

58. What about an artwork that describes your plural experience?

59. Which Member of your System do you believe to be the prettiest of them all?

60. Do you collectively have a lucky number?

61. When did you first discover your System?

62. How many Members did you know about during your Syscovery?

63. Was accepting your Plurality a challenge for you?

64. How did you learn about Plurality?

65. Where there any signs of your Plurality, if you look back at your past?

66. Do you think your Syscovery changed a lot in your life?

67. If you're out to others as plural, have they ever told you later on that they already thought about it before you realised?

68. What was the biggest struggle during your Syscovery?

69. Was there any big event that led to your Syscovery?

70. What is something you want questioning plurals to know?

71. Are you Neurodivergent (and if yes, how?)

72. Do you have any physical disability?

73. Do you have a dissociative disorder?

74. Do you have any other disorder?

75. Do symptom vary in intensity depending on the fronter?

76. Do you think your disability / disorder has an influence on your plurality?

77. Do you have amnesia of any kind?

78. Are there Members who deal better with symptoms than others?

79. Do your disorders / disabilities influence communication or switching within your System in any way?

80. Does being plural help with your disorders in any way? (example: another Member switching in to take care of the body during difficult times, ...)

81. Which is your favourite plural flag?

82. If you have one, which is your favourite plurality related tumblr blog?

83. What is a fun fact about your System?

84. What is a flavour of ice cream that describes you collectively?

85. Which pride flag is the prettiest, in your collective opinion?

86. If you collectively had to choose between being a sweet or a sour candy, which do you pick?

87. Your body always morphs into what the current fronter(s) look like, would you want this power or not?

88. Is there a Hatsune Miku in your System?

89. Who has been in your System the longest (if you can remember)?

90. If you collectively had to choose, would you rather only eat sweet foods or only eat savoury foods for the rest of your life?

91. If you collectively had to choose, would you pick to become a vampire or a werewolf?

92. Your body is transfered into one of your Members sources, which do you pick and why?

93. If all of you turned into animals right this second, which animals would we find in your System?

94. What would a Minecraft server with all of your Members look like? (example: chaotic, peaceful, laggy, ...)

95. If you could choose between only living in Headspace or only living in Meatspace (real life), which would you choose?

96. What topic would you collectively make a youtube channel about? (it can't be plurality!)

97. Which superpower would your body obtain, if you had to collectively decide on one?

98. Who would pick the coolest tattoo for the System and who would pick the worst?

99. If you only were allowed to eat one food for the rest of your life, but you would have to decide on the food collectively, what would it be and what would the decision making look like?

100. What is the most fun about doing polls and answering questions, in your opinion?

[ix-c-999]

☕ and 🪐for the system ask game!

☕ - what is switching like for you?

Switching happens either one of two ways.

The alter in question seems to "fade in" a little like introducing another component of a mashup song and joins the rest of the front and synchronizes with the rest of us (hard to explain what I mean by that, it's a mental process by which we assess commonalities between the new fronter and other alters currently fronting and it helps them figure out what actions/speech to contribute to whatever we're doing at the time). Them leaving is like the song component fading out OR like noticing the song had stopped some time ago and you didn't realize it.

A feeling of pressure builds up in my head and it feels like my consciousness rolls around until it pulls another alter to the front. This is especially the case if the switch is to replace someone else and have them not front anymore.

🪐 - what is headspace like for you?

We actually have three headspaces! Blue Canaries (the mainsystem) has the main headspace, but Silent Hedges and Hourglass Meadow (the sidesystems) have their own headspaces! We were able to connect Silent Hedges' headspace with our own so members of that sidesystem can "physically" (for lack of a better word) interact with members of the mainsystem. We haven't done that with Hourglass Meadow yet but we plan to after they've been here for a little longer.

The mainsystem has the largest headspace and the main part of it consists of a fronting room with various 90s aesthetics (arcade carpet, inflatable or Memphis Design furniture, neon lights). You can go through doors in the fronting room to a house based off of one I used to live in (a lot of our alters who split while we were living in that house hang out there) as well as a space based on a rock-n-roll themed bar I used to see tribute shows at before it closed. The one in my system is goth themed and it's for my system's goths (and bridges Silent Hedges' headspace with Blue Canaries').

One feature of our headspace is "nesting rooms", which are basically rooms where the entire floor is soft and mattress-like and you sleep on it. They're based on this one picture I saw online once of a room that was described as "entirely bed" and are something our Betelgeusian aliens had on their home planet in their timeline. The first room we ever found in our headspace when the system came back last year was a nesting room that was originally beige and pretty small but grew larger as the system did and that we redesigned into having a Memphis Design pattern on the floor.

Silent Hedges' headspace is a house in the middle of an empty void where their equivalent of the fronting room is a garage that has been set up as a practice space for a band (the sidesystem were involved in bands in their timeline). I personally haven't seen the entirety of Silent Hedges' headspace (you can look into other sidesystems' headspaces like looking at something through a screen, hard to explain) but there's apparently at least one room dedicated to kink activities. It is mostly utilized by Mori and Ransom together. Strangelove and Stigmata also have a room in the mainsystem where they do kink together!

Hourglass Meadow's headspace also centers around a house, but one that looks like a house from the 90s or 2000s that you would see in a weirdcore/dreamcore/nostalgiacore edit (since those are the aesthetics the sidesys is sourced from). There are nesting rooms in that one too (which is an object head trait as well as an alien one - I used to draw object head characters and they had bedrooms that were basically like nesting rooms). There's also a forest of mushrooms where Daisy and Bernie like taking walks together.

There are some other facts about our headspace but those are its main features and structure!

[eligalilei]

Diagnosis vs Symptomatology as Guide to Treatment

OP:

It's a view within psychiatry that diagnoses are not that helpful and we should look at symptoms or symptom clusters and treat those. I don't share that view, but it is a view.

If you don't want medication then you likely don't want a long term therapeutic relationship with a prescriber.

You may need to see someone different to get the clear diagnosis that you want. Me:

In what way is this an insufficient perspective? There are for sure some clear clinical entities, but regardless of whether you call them 'symptom clusters' or 'diseases,' the world contains plenty of limit cases and statistical 'long tails.' This seems to be a way to deal with feeling like you're locked in to a particular set of solutions based on a term that might or might not fit the totality of the clinical presentation.

Regardless, someone is going to have to put something down for insurance at some point, so at the end of the day this all may be moot. OP: I feel that the major issue is that medications are tested against diagnoses. So eg throwing antidepressants against all low mood when they have only been tested against (episodic mood associated with fatiguability and anhedonia) mdd is not ideal. For instance for the chronic low mood associated with borderline, they either haven't been tested or possibly worse, they've been small scale tested and failed. Me:

As I said, there are relatively concrete disease entities; they can be seen to consist of possible sets of transformations of states which are defined in contrast. You're right, you can't just treat symptoms, but you can recognize continua and patterns from one state set in other presentations, and thus, even, treat aspects of a patient that don't fit with the clinical picture as a whole, but don't neatly fit into another diagnosis either.

Borderline is a particularly good example, since one can have borderline features in many senses, especially in crisis, and even view yourself through the lense of these criteria while in a crisis state, without necessarily meeting the five requisites. This could reason to give us pause in using, hypothetically, more activating meds in people who present with affective switching, or use an antimanic in someone who tends toward activation and psychotic intrusions, but doesn't meet duration criteria for BP. Possible cyclothymia with some borderline features would present as another point of connection between BP and BPD, for instance, and might merit consideration of a stabilizer on either side. Is this tested? No. But it's no more an unreasonable of a leap as that of assuming that another clinician took a good patient history that wasn't biased by the confounds of the particular moment and context of presentation. Btw, is the suggestion that BPD's instability is aggrivable by ADs? I could buy that. And, like, while we might be able to conceive of BPD as a distinct category... we have at least some biomarkers for TRD that suggest there's utilable subtypes in depression, some of which interlap with BPD (inflammatory cytokines, cortisol abnormalities) so even if BPD is distinct as a system of behaviours and states, options within the MDD formulary with antiinflammatory properties might be worth keeping on the table due to lack of options .

There's also, then, the issue of the repeatability of diagnosis, which, while not null, is sometimes questionable. By using the data from studies, you implicitly trust that some random guy (never the people doing the studies, not uncommonly a rushed ward doc with hundreds of patients) was able to render a sufficient picture of the patient so as to be actually rule out all other possible codings. Patholognomes don't always perform on command, some are probably even shy characteristically; yet others may prefer the stage of the ward, and be otherwise reclusive.

I doubt the brain has some quantitative gauge such that a system of affects becomes some totally new thing after a requisite time has passed symptomatic. And who is to say that one couldn't have MDD and BPD, if they are indeed semi-discrete entities. Or does the BPD eat the MDD?

Basically, I'm just saying you should look at the clinical picture as focused on relations between states and their possible factors, since that's more logical than a list of symptoms. The numbers on AD efficacy are already not so great. If you'll take a chance on giving someone a drug at all, you might as well take a chance on getting a treatment for them specifically, the nature of which is literally nothing you'll be able to discern from a study, though occasionally a case. I kind of think both sides of the aisle strawman each other, but at least the symptoms side has the advantage of appearing to acknowledge complexity and individuality, though it refuses the patient the sacrament of symbolic suture which is specification.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Haii

Do u have any tips for getting better at communicating and switching (we haven't fully switched for longer than a few minutes that I know of)

We're still living at home sorta want/need to mask a bit but I'd like to be able to switch out for at least a little bit and explore our headspace more

The only thing I'd be worried about would be if we can't control who fronts and when coz that would cause problems so if u have any tips for that then that would also be great (although I know it's probably not something that can really be controlled too much)

Really any tips on communication and switching would be great heh

Thank uu :33

Hello,

As far as controlling who switches and when, I don’t have much advice. Our system cannot control switches, and only our gatekeeper has any sort of access to controlling that aspect of us. Perhaps, if your system also has a gatekeeper, you may ask them about letting other members front more?

As far as building communication, we do have some advice.

We advocate for therapy a lot here, but for good reason. A therapist can help guide your system towards more regular, healthy communication. Seeing someone outside the body regularly who knows about the system, is educated in psychology, and can provide an outside perspective on your system and how it functions can be incredibly beneficial and a great boon for internal communication. If you aren’t already seeing a therapist, perhaps try seeking one out.

Additionally, there are other things you can do to boost inner-system communication, like:

- attempting to communicate externally. Writing notes, setting up a PluralKit and a system discord server, keeping a journal, and leaving voice memos are all excellent ways to begin communicating with each other. With this, keep in mind that patience is key. You may not hear from other system members immediately, but if you keep that line of communication open and functioning, you may start to hear from each other often

- attempting to communicate internally. When you have time to spend by yourself in a calm, quiet environment, try reaching out to your system members. Don’t be too discouraged if you don’t hear back initially, and don’t assume that not hearing anything back means they aren’t hearing your message. Practicing internal communication regularly can help build connections and make communication easier in the future.

- reducing internal self-hate. This was a massive obstacle for our system, one that we’re still struggling with. But our host’s self-hatred was often deflected or aimed towards other members of the system. If you are the host and deal with this, your headmates may be wary or hesitant to interact with you. Try working on some self-compassion, and it may help your headmates feel more comfortable interacting. If you are in this situation, you may have to work on rebuilding trust before you can hope to have better communication with your system.

If you are the host, and if you have never fully switched out before, perhaps learn more about specutien, frontstuck, and median systems. It may be that you will never be able to fully switch out and enter the headspace. In our system, our host can switch out occasionally, but not of his own volition, and he does not enter our headspace. Rather, he goes into a sleep or stasis and has no memory of his time not fronting when he fronts again. That is just the way our system works. Trying to force your system to work in a way that it doesn’t may be detrimental to your system as a whole, so please exercise caution and be careful. Remember that all systems are unique, and your system might function differently from other systems you know.

With regards to masking, I’m linking this post made by a couple members of my system in which they discuss masking a bit. For me, I can mask easily enough by adopting a few mannerisms of the host and trying to speak with a “host filter” (if that makes sense). So far I’ve been able to slip by undetected around people with whom it is not safe for us to be open about our system.

I do apologize that this post got a bit long and out of hand. Good luck with everything.

🖋 Cecil