#&&. However he doesn't REALLY voice these concerns because he believes there are other people who have it worst off

[storybounded]

Cayenne

Everyone says that you're so bright, so loud, so much and maybe you are or maybe you're covering up that gaping wound in your chest with fireworks. Or maybe you really are so bright so warm so hot but sometimes you wonder if anything will ever be enough to soothe that aching burning cold fire in your chest. You don't know what it is, can't ever let yourself close enough to that pyre to know if it's anger or fear or loneliness or grief but it's there and if you're good enough, funny enough, bold enough, maybe you can hide it from everyone else. Maybe there's enough of you and enough of the world that you can outrun it forever, your own fire bright enough to put that wound to shame. Bright enough to prove to everyone, anyone, yourself, your mother, your father, your friends, your classmates, the world, that you're enough. You're enough. You're enough.

what kind of herb are you?

[kooldewd123]

The scene of the Animorphs voting whether or not to make David one of them might be one of the best character moments in the entire series. You can read into everyone's actions in this scene so well.

Marco sees "the bright, clear line." David hasn't seen any of them yet. He doesn't know anything. Just giving him up to the Yeerks is incredibly cruel, but it's the safest option. At the same time, how much of this is just his personal feelings? He's the only one who dissents on the basis of personality. He doesn't really like the way David acts, but is that enough reason for concern or is he just writing him off because he can't stand being around him?

Cassie is eager to go for it. She had just taken a massively risky leap of faith with Aftran, and it had actually paid off. And if trusting a Yeerk could lead to good things, surely trusting a human would turn out even better. She's already seeing the big picture: maybe David is the first of many. Maybe they could extend their force even more and give themselves the opportunity to make a bigger difference.

Rachel starts out against it. Despite their frequent disagreements, she and Marco both share that ruthless streak and often end up on the same side of heavy decisions as a result. She's the first to agree with Marco about giving David up, and the first to voice against making him an Animorph. But Cassie's argument sways her over. Cassie is probably just thinking that more people equals more power, but Rachel frames it by saying that more people means they can afford to take bigger risks (something that Marco can't help but agree with). Cassie is thinking optimistically, but Rachel sees it from a warrior's perspective.

Tobias is for it, and of course he is. David is just like Tobias was back then: no real family, no real home, and effectively a stranger to the rest of the group. He can't give up on David. He needs to have faith that things will work out, the same way they did for him (in a way). There's literally no other choice, as far as he sees it. He says Jake should make the ultimate call but clearly doesn't actually believe that, seeing as how when Jake replies that they need to put it up to a vote, Tobias immediately votes in favor of making him an Animorph.

Ax in particular is fascinating to me here because he's the one who actually suggests making David an Animorph in the first place. At the start of the series, breaking the law of Seerow's Kindness and sharing Andalite technology with humans, let alone a complete stranger, would have been completely unthinkable to him. But now he's seen just how fallible Andalites can be. He's begun to doubt the pillars of his society, and has thrown his lot in with the humans instead. He makes a very human suggestion here. It's something you'd expect Cassie or Tobias to come up with, not Ax. When the vote actually comes around, however, he votes against it. Like Rachel, he views it from a military perspective, but comes to the opposite conclusion. More Animorphs would be good to add to their ranks, but he's been in an army before and this ain't exactly one of those. A seventh member isn't enough of an added benefit, and putting a stranger in the role is too much of a wild card when they're about to undertake such an important mission.

We don't know what Jake is thinking. He never provides an opinion, only stating the facts of the situation and prodding the others for their votes. He's presumably freaking out inside, but trying to keep a calm demeanor in the face of the biggest decision they've had to make up to this point. Any weakness at this pivotal moment could skew everything, so he has to remain as neutral as possible until he can properly collect his thoughts. He's the last of the group to make his vote, and he really doesn't end up making one in the end. David wakes up, sees them, and Jake decides to bring him into the group. If David hadn't woken up there, what would Jake have chosen: Safe but cruel, or risky but optimistic? We never get to find out what was going through his mind at that exact moment, only in the aftermath.

And of course, this is all underscored by the dramatic irony of what this will eventually lead to. The group decides against inaction, but by their actions, they will commit a horror upon David arguably just as bad as the Yeerks would have. Would it have been better to leave him behind and be haunted by what they didn't do, or to have tried to save him and be haunted by what they did do?

[reel-fear]

Bendy And The Power Of Representation

So those graphic novel pages huh? Seems I posted my cover post at just the right time because literally minutes after I was informed the preview pages came out and uh. This is Buddy and Norman!

Oh dear... I'll put the full graphic novel pages down below but I have so much to say on how awful this is it'll need several posts. However, right now I want to mostly talk about representation and briefly touch on why it's so damn important + inform others about the current shit Mike and Meatly are saying about the books n such.

Now note: All the things I'm saying below are based on my personal experience, maybe some people don't care about seeing the representation of their identities in the media they consume. Maybe some will think I'm merely being dramatic and I might be but I'm not lying when I say I personally believe being represented and seen in the media you consume can be one of the most wonderful feelings in the world.

Look I'm not here to argue with people who think that Norman in particular was never meant to be a person of color, I would argue he is very coded but the points I'm making here are not about how Norman particularly had to be black. The point I want to make is the lack of diversity in our cast in general and how Norman's design has heavily dwindled it considering most people [including myself] rightfully assumed he was at least one of three black characters in our cast. Not according to this though and looking at the the rest of the pages our chances of seeing any kind of decent diverse character designs dwindle more.

So firstly... Buddy a character who has been said to experience discrimination for being Jewish, lacks any kind of ethnic features at all. That's... Cool but yeah I think this shows a rather grim future for the character designs as a whole.

Also, Norman... As I mentioned he was largely assumed to be black due to his southern dialect, his voice, and other factors. But nope, he's a generic white guy. With... Gross looking hair tbh...

Sadly this is not the first time the topic of poor representation has come up concerning Bendy either.

[note how he disregarded the other mentioned minorities and specifically cites LGBTQ+ characters]

This sucks as a response but sadly considering Mike's recent behavior it seems to fall in line with the Bendy team's general lack of care towards representing anyone who isn't straight and white.

So how did Mike respond to all of this? Well...

TDLR - "Who cares if the Graphic Novel we're selling to our fans for full price sucks, we now no longer consider the books canon."

This is horrible, I know Mike and Meatly are only really in this for the money, the fact BATIM is in the state that it is proved that, but they really couldn't have been less obvious about it?

So basically when it benefited them, AKA when it meant people would have to buy the books to understand important lore like Boris' identity... [the character you spend all of chapter 4 trying to rescue] They were considered canon... At least the author sure thought so.

Hell even in the tweet Meatly made here he doesn't say the books aren't canon, he just says they're not needed to understand Bendy's world. Now Mike is using that as a shield instead of doing the right thing and saying "You're right, the poc in our fanbase deserve better we'll have it fixed right away!" Like most reasonable people would considering how his studio has literally been accused of bigotry, poor rep, and general lack of diversity before. Why risk making more people avoid this franchise?

Also just... Imagine how insulting it would be to be an author who helps flesh out so much of this world and gives its characters depth like NONE of the games have managed to do, filling in plot holes, creating a timeline for events, etc... Then because they couldn't bother to change the graphic novel for ur story to be better they instead throw out all ur writing and declare it non-canon.

If I were her to put it bluntly I'd feel insulted and horrible. Why make her do all the work of making sure her works align with the timeline and game's canon if they're not part of it?

I can't speak for her obviously but Meatly and Mike know of her account, so speaking out against this could very much risk her being fired or at least not allowed to work on Bendy anymore... So I would take all her tweets on this situation with a grain of salt. She very much is not in a position where she could be honest if she was against this.

So with all that history now, the question I'm sure many are wondering is... Why does this even matter? Who cares how diverse the characters are when it doesn't affect the story?

Well for one thing, if you think like that consider having more empathy for your fellow human beings but also it does affect the story. One of DCTL's themes is about the bigotry of the period it is set in.

Now the Bendy team has managed to make the discussion of this book centering around their bigotry which is ironic in a way I almost find funny... Though this entire thing is just a bit too hurtful and upsetting to find any humor in, at least for me...

But another thing is representation can bring people such joy when it's done with care. It really shouldn't be understated how far it can go to make people feel more comfortable in their own sense of self to have a franchise choose to represent them and their experiences. I know this from personal experience.

Now if you've been following me for a while, you know I'm a big fan of Transformers. I no longer engage with it much due to baggage from the fandom's awful treatment of me, but before I left I remember being able to witness the release of Transformers: Earthspark first few episodes.

These introduced the Maltos the family who meets the Transformers and serve as our protagonists and guess what?

It's a family of Filipinos!

Now look I'm not Filipino, but I am half Mexican and I have a lot of love for that part of me. So seeing the representation of any Spanish culture in this franchise I loved made me so happy! I remember just watching the first episode I was happily telling my partner how fun it was to see people like me and my family in a world I love!!

But it didn't end with the Maltos in fact... There was another character who spoke to me, their name was Nightshade. Their pronouns are They/Them and they spoke about it on the show! Not just mentioning it and moving on but actually sitting down to speak about their experiences...

This clip in particular really turned them into an absolute favorite among fans and well... I'll let you see it for yourself.

This scene... Fills me with a joy I cannot describe. It is the creators of a franchise I love telling me they see people like me and find the stories of people like me important enough to include in this series. There really is nothing like being able to say there are Non-Binary characters in a franchise I have so much love for. I was far from the only one too.

This is amazing, this is wonderful, this clip and character were moving to so so many people and...

This is a joy the Bendy creators have no interest in giving their audience. They don't care how you feel as a queer and/or black person, which... Hurts...

I... Discovered I was trans while in the Bendy community... It was where I learned the word Non-Binary and started using it for myself. To me Bendy will always have that connection... But the devs themselves seem to hate the idea of being forced to actually represent that in their games... And I still haven't really gotten over that pain or betrayal if I'm being honest.

So...

With Norman now being portrayed as white here, we are down to two black characters. Thomas [who Meatly has claimed is white in the past] based on a vague conversation with Sammy in DCTL they could easily ignore... And Jacob.... A book exclusive character which according to Mike means he is non-canon.

If we don't count Thomas' vague talk with Sammy about disrespect as confirmation he's black [which the devs don't seem to think so] then we have one black character in all of Bendy... And he recently got retconned into non-existence. Great.

Look... The Bendy fanbase has always been full of wonderfully diverse designs for the staff and even more diverse people creating them. Bendy's fandom was built with the work of queer people from all kinds of places.

If the Bendy team continues to show how little they care for anyone who isn't straight or white... I wonder who they are counting on to buy this book or in general financially support their franchise?

I know right now, I am furious, I am hurt and I most certainly don't feel like buying a book that's currently just a massive fuck you to the fans and I hope I've expressed why I feel this way in an easy-to-understand way here...

Either way, I will not be forgetting this anytime soon and I hope the fanbase does the same. Maybe just maybe, if there's enough backlash to this series of horrible decisions they'll learn better.

Right now, it's kinda of our only hope for a better future, and if you know any poc who are into Bendy right now... Maybe consider making sure they're feeling okay.

I know from experience how much this sort of thing hurts, to have the creators of a world you love straight up tell you they don't intend to fix the fact no one in their stories represents your identity or life...

What I'm trying to say is...

This is a really low point for Bendy and its fans... Even more for the poc who have to witness such ignorant and careless attitudes from Mike and Meatly towards their feelings.

Please don't forget them when you discuss these tweets or this situation. That's exactly what Mike and Meatly want right now.

For them to be unrepresented and therefore... Unheard.

[ephemeral--dreams]

Alhaitham, Cyno, Kokomi; when you get injured.

☆ ☾ ☆ ──────────────────

Alhaitham

He had anticipated an average day. Showing up to work, finishing whatever he needed to, and then spending his time reading for the remainder of the afternoon.

In other words, he hadn't thought he'd be wrestling answers out of a pair of scholars after hearing your name in passing.

"Do you want to tell me why I had to find out you were injured through gossip?" Is the first thing Alhaitham asks as he enters the room, tone fairly neutral despite the accusatory nature of his words. You blink at him from where you sit, covered in bandages, but awake and aware, at least. Not as bad as he'd worried it would be.

If he was more prone to outbursts of emotion, he might've burst in here and scolded you. He might've felt panic when he'd found out you were hurt. He might've been relieved when he found you seemed to be relatively okay.

…Alhaitham tells himself he felt none of that.

"…I didn't want to bother you. You get annoyed when you get interrupted unnecessarily, right?"

He falls silent. So that was it. You weren't wrong, exactly, but… He'd hardly call it an interruption, when it was about your health and safety. He knew he didn't make his emotions obvious, but he'd thought you had enough sense to realize he cared about you. He wouldn't have put up with you being around for so long if he didn't.

"You're an idiot," is all he says, preoccupying himself with making sure you've been taken care of properly, hands brushing surprisingly gently over you. Archons know that the Akademiya is filled with stupid people, even the healers can't be trusted with you… "If you're bothering me, you know I wouldn't hold back on telling you. Don't make needless assumptions."

"Maybe I am. Sorry," you sit patiently as he examines you, his concern unspoken as always, but obvious in his actions. As harsh as he could be at times, it was moments like this in which you were reminded that he could be softer... Occasionally. "I'm okay, really. You don't need to worry."

Alhaitham doesn't quite believe you - the way he watches over you more closely for the next few weeks makes it abundantly clear. But you can't exactly complain about having his attention, even if you had to get hurt for it to happen…

Cyno

Cyno is… Well aware that injuries are something that happen. He faces dangerous situations on a regular basis. Often, he himself is the danger.

This isn't the same, however. As much as he hates anyone else getting injured under his watch, when it's you, it feels exponentially worse. It should never, ever happen. If he could protect criminals from getting hurt in their own stupidity as they ran from him, couldn't he protect you even better?

…Apparently not, considering the pained sounds you let out under your breath and he carried you to get medical attention. This was what he got for getting distracted with work while you were together, wasn't it? Target apprehended, but not without you getting caught up in it all.

"It's only a broken leg, Cyno. You don't need to look so guilty."

"It happened because of me," his voice is tense, just as tense as his arms around you feel.

You don't get the chance to reply, commotion beginning the moment the two of you arrive. Then it's Tighnari fussing over you, Collei's worried face in the background, and no sign of Cyno.

It's not until a few hours later when he shows up, moonlight glinting off his silent form. If you were any less used to his presence, you'd have been startled by how he appeared so suddenly. As it is, you take it in stride.

"I don't blame you, you know, but when you disappear like that I end up being the one who's worried…"

All he can think is - you're far too forgiving. Though perhaps that was why he was drawn to you in the first place. A pure soul, one not infected by a greed for knowledge or money or power, as many around him were. You are too good for him, but here the two of you are, regardless.

You huff at his lack of reply, reaching to take his hand, tugging him closer. "I'm fine, see? Stop brooding and come sit with me. You can even tell me some of your jokes if it'll make you feel better."

You were the one supposed to be getting reassured here… But if it was what you wanted, he'd acquiesce. "…Fine. I will."

Kokomi

Kokomi feels her heart nearly stop in her chest at the sight of you bloodied and unconscious. Yet she keeps her calm until she's taken you to a quieter place, away from the sight of the shrine maidens.

During the rebellion, one of the worst parts of it all had been watching people get injured under her command. Injuries happened during war. It was inevitable. But it still brought a terrible feeling of helplessness.

Which is exactly what she's feeling now. It was worse because it was someone so dear to her who was hurt, this time. It was a harsh reminder of both your fragility, and of the fact that even during times of peace, harm could still befall you and everyone else.

Being the one to watch over watatsumi is a burdensome responsibility.

But if nothing else, she'd been blessed with the ability to heal. So that's what she does, the blue light of hydro washing over all your wounds until they slowly fade.

It doesn't quite feel good enough. Regardless of them being gone, she will remember they were there. You will remember the pain. But it is what it is, and acceptance is more productive than reminiscence.

Kokomi remains next to you, watching the way your breaths rise and fall like the waves hitting and retreating from the shore.

She's still there when you wake.

"Do you feel better? It was concerning when you returned in that state."

Your smile is far too bright for the situation. "Much better."

"You need to be more careful. If I wasn't around…" Kokomi hesitates, the sort of sight only you are allowed. Hesitation had no place in the demeanor of the divine priestess, but if it was just you…

"I knew you would take care of me," you reach out to press a kiss to her lips, and she allows the reassurance - that you are still here with her.

[g0ldgauntlet]

Memories I Unlocked About My Little Pony (G4) That Made Me Realize Some Things.

(Image Description is in alt text. Post also contains minor spoilers for Arcane Season 1)

The "Party of One" Episode

Pinkie's portrayal in that episode felt like a fairly accurate representation on how mental health can fuck with you (Though, please note that I'm not a mental health expert, I just found her really relatable in some ways as someone who is undiagnosed). She has some of the most intense range of emotions, even going a bit overboard before and during the initial birthday party for Gummy to the point of exhausting herself, but her friends don't judge her for her behavior (Even if it's clear from the expressions on their faces that they don't agree with every decision she makes).

However, the moment that Pinkie feels like her friends are hiding something or trying to avoid her, her mental health begins to decline (Especially because she knows she's being blatantly lied to). Then we see her lack of emotional regulation and starting to overthink everything based on these interactions, assuming the worst. You can't even fully blame her for it because, again, no one is communicating with her properly, but the severity of her actions still showcases that her mental health is playing a part in her blowing the situation a bit out of proportion.

Plus, there's this quote-

Tell me that my friends are all lying to me and avoiding me because they don't like my parties and they don't want to be my friends anymore!

-which is a conclusion that she came up with herself. No one actually said this to her, but she assumes this is the case, and she wants Spike to validate her assumption even though he knows that's not true either. Spike gives in and tells her what she wants to hear, though, and she enters a depression because of it. This is now what she actually believes.

Of course, after this, we get the infamous facial expression that is this:

By this point, Pinkie is in the middle of having a mental breakdown. She's trying to isolate herself from her friends, now viewing them as enemies, and she's replacing them with random things that she's trying to use as a coping mechanism as she attempts to host her after-party for Gummy. The kicker is that these methods are failing. Pinkie much more rapidly shows signs of losing her composure as she puppeteers for these inanimate objects like they're real people. She keeps twitching, and then eventually it feels as if the objects have actually come alive, but in reality, the next conversation that takes place is all in Pinkie's head. These inanimate objects take the form of her negative thoughts convincing her that she's justified in believing that her friends are actually horrible people who think horrible things about her and that she shouldn't associate with them ever again, even though Pinkie herself doesn't actually believe any of that deep down. It's a very good visualization of how Pinkie's new view of her friends is still eating away at her despite her trying to shift to a new sense of "normalcy." This scene is honestly a child-friendly version of Jinx having "conversations" with the voices in her head during Arcane Season 1 (Her even going as far as to make inanimate versions of her dead friends), with Jinx also initially trying to hold onto hope that Vi still cares about her despite her mental health continuously declining.

When the other five members of the Mane Six are finally ready to talk to Pinkie, she explodes and tries shutting them all out. While they're all concerned for her due to the way that she's acting, they don't give up on her. At most, Rainbow Dash just calls Pinkie's inanimate object party creepy once she finds her, but she's still determined to drag Pinkie away from the unhealthy atmosphere (And mindset, in a metaphorical sense) that she's locked herself into. Dash takes Pinkie to the barn at Sweet Apple Acres, and it's revealed that there was a party waiting for Pinkie. Unfortunately, she continues to assume the worst of her friends, and by extension, the motives behind the party.

It's then explained that the reason why they were avoiding and withholding information from Pinkie was because they were trying to keep the party a surprise, and it was meant to be their way of celebrating Pinkie's birthday...which she forgot was that exact day.

When I tell you that I felt secondhand embarrassment-

Yet, it's not even unrealistic. A bunch of misunderstandings and a lack of having the full context to the situation led Pinkie to assuming the worst outcome and letting her negative thoughts consume her, which I think multiple people (Myself included) have experienced before. Pinkie is still given a rather mature moment, though. She perks right up after realizing that she was wrong about her assumptions, but then she feels ashamed and embarrassed for how she acted and for having doubted her friends so much. However, they reassure her that they hold no ill will towards her and make it clear that anyone can experience these types of misunderstandings.

Then we get the central message from Twilight: That good friends have your best interests at heart, and you shouldn't immediately assume the worst of them. I think it's a good way to encourage people to work on their sense of trust in others, as well as encouraging them to find ways to manage their mental health in any way that they can without necessarily demonizing those who are struggling with those issues.

I think this episode was why I was never the biggest fan of the MLP creepypastas, such as Cupcakes. I can definitely see that people had fun with this crazy portrayal of Pinkie (And I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong for liking it), but I think her canon portrayal is much more sympathetic to those who struggle with mental health issues.

Fluttershy Would Swear If MLP Had a Higher Age Rating

I remembered how upset she could get whenever she was pushed too far, and one of those moments was when Twilight brought up Discord early on in the series. Fluttershy saying "That...big...dumb...MEANIE!" with such vitriol instantly made me think that she (Or the writers, honestly) actually wanted to say, "That...MOTHER...FUCKER!" instead.

Then I decided to check out an episode from one of the later seasons that I didn't watch: The one with her brother, Zephyr Breeze. Fluttershy says that she's "peeved," and it's treated like she said a swear word. She absolutely would have said that she was "pissed" if this wasn't a kids show.

Does Fluttershy need to swear? No, definitely not, but it would be very funny and not all that unrealistic to me if she dropped a word or two whenever she got angry.

Flash Sentry Deserved Better

This boy got screwed over so hard that it's honestly really sad. He's a good example of MLP's consistent lack of development within a lot of its male cast, but it was much more noticeable with him since he was the love interest of the main character, and as a result, a lot of attention was focused on just him.

I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you much about Shining Armor (in the show, not the comics, which I have never read) aside from him being Cadance's husband and Twilight's brother, and then basically being used as a partial plot device so that Cadance could use the power of love to defeat Queen Chrysalis. The same goes for Big Mac, whose most defining trait was not saying much besides two words, and I believe that Soarin also has minimal development. I don't even remember that much about King Sombra in the initial first few seasons aside from what the cast members tell us about him (though I could be wrong here, it's been a while since I watched the show and I heard he gets more characterization later).

It seems fairly obvious to me that a large reason behind why Flash - and his dynamic with Twilight by extension - was not expanded upon later was because Bronies (and by that, I specifically mean a very vocal crowd of older adult men) within the fandom sent so much backlash over this character in Hasbro's direction that they decided to sideline him instead. It still astonishes me that grown ass men had so much influence over this show when they weren't even the target demographic, and that's not even the only time that they had ruined something for other people. Flash was not that different from what I just mentioned about the male cast members, meaning that it's not a "Flash Sentry" problem - It's a "Male MLP Character" problem.

I will, however, acknowledge that the decision to have main universe Twilight go to a universe where the cast members are highschoolers was a strange decision by the writers. A college setting would have been just fine, especially since Lauren Faust has said that Twilight might be at least around the age of a college freshman in human years.

As a kid, I liked Flash, and I used to theorize about what the writers were going to do with him later on. As I got older, I realized that way more people liked Flash than I thought (Especially on TikTok. Good lord LOL), and others were mostly indifferent towards him. It was upsetting watching him get sidelined, and I didn't like Timber, who I had assumed was supposed to be Flash's replacement but ten times more annoying.

Flash had become the fandom scapegoat and punching bag. I think it would be more fun to see people reclaim him and make content of him in their image based on their headcanons or whatever, like they did with several other characters in the show. I, for one, am definitely planning on doing so myself!

Rainbow Dash Is Basically Sonic For The Girls and I Owe Her An Apology

I used to HATE Rainbow Dash as a kid. I thought she was the most annoying out of the Mane Six (With Fluttershy as a second-least favorite but that was a whole other thing. I don't dislike her anymore, don't kill me LOL). However, it was not lost on me that people would constantly make comparisons between her and Sonic, and I'm now realizing as an adult that this makes more sense beyond them both having super speed.

Dash is sweet, but like Sonic, she can also be cocky, competitive, heroic, and reckless. She is the one who influenced the rest of her friends' lives early on (Via the Sonic Rainboom), just as Sonic did with his friends, eventually forming a tight-knit group. She gets up to shenanigans with a cheerful, pink-themed character (Pinkie, of course), and has a yellow-themed friend who decides to stand up for herself and can keep up with Dash when she puts her mind to it (Fluttershy). Like Sonic, she also loves reading, and her presence revolves a bit around having a cool factor.

It is kind of shocking, yet funny that I held this double standard against Rainbow Dash as a child, since she and Sonic share similar traits, and yet I thought Sonic was cool while Rainbow Dash was unbearable. Internalized biases have a chokehold on people, I suppose.

Sunset Shimmer Is a Reformed Villain Done Right

(Please keep in mind that it's been years since I watched the Equestria Girls movies, so I might have some details wrong here)

She started out acting like an arrogant, highschool queen bee type of person who thought she was owed everything, only to be humbled by Twilight. Then she begins to realize the error of her ways, and while the Humane Six forgive her right away, not everyone else does, and Sunset Shimmer simply has to live with that. The sins of her past continue to haunt her, but she still finds the resolve to strive to be a better person and help other people who need it (Such as SciTwi).

I think her arc was a realistic portrayal of someone who had done something messed up and then realized later that her mistakes will cause people to see her differently. Despite that, and despite knowing that some people may never forgive her, however, Sunset wants to keep moving forward so that she can make amends and help people heal rather than hurt them. I liked the message behind this as well - That people should continue to try to do good things, even if your past mistakes can't be reversed. The past shouldn't hold you back for the rest of your life.

[ringo-ichigo]

So after thinking thing through with less anger and relistening to Somerton's apology, I think I'm actually more irritated in new ways. So I think the whole "I was trying to be a representative and inclusive" part was partly his attempt at essentially saying "Sorry for the phobias."

Here's my problem with it. One, he doesn't name it. He doesn't say "I'm sorry for the bisexual erasure I perpetuated" or "I should have apologized and corrected myself on asexuals being subject to conversion therapy" or any number of other issues that were brought up. He doesn't state that these are the things he's trying to apologize for and he doesn't say sorry.

Two, sir, how is calling an out bisexual woman a "straight white woman" inclusive? Do explain this to me because personally, I don't get inclusion from that. Like, in what world was this going to make bisexuals specifically but really anyone feel like this was an inclusive space?!

Three, sir, the issue wasn't that you couldn't be a voice for the community, be a leader within it, or however you want to describe your role because of your identity. You being a white gay man wasn't really the issue with your attempt to be a role model. Like, sure, we have a plethora of those and other more marginalized voices would be preferred over yours, but there's nothing about being a white gay man that makes you inherently unfit for the role. Like, it's more you're not the first choice unless there are no other candidates. But again, that's not why people are hurt by you trying to be that voice. It was your actions and your words that did that. It's not that you never could be a megaphone for other voices. Like, you could have. But when you are a leader and your actions and words are actively spreading biphobia, acephobia, transphobia, lesbophobia, and misogyny, yeah, nah, we don't want you being a leader. Because you're not showing the qualities needed in a leader. You're actively harming the people you're claiming to represent while trying to act like you're going to advocate for them. Sorry, but I have a real hard time believing you'll advocate for me well when there's a good chance you'd find some reason to be angry at me and call me "a straight white woman" despite the fact that I am not straight. I may be white and a woman, but I am certainly not straight. I've been out as bi since 2016. And I'm just one person. I'm sure others would have similar thoughts.

Like, maybe I'm just wrong, but it feels to me like he thought the issue was his identity and that's why he's disqualified. Like, nah bro. We care far more about the things you did than your identity. If you watch B. Dylan Hollis, I feel like him in the pinto bean cake short. James is going "Make sure you clean your grind-o-mat," while I'm looking at him going "I'm not concerned about your precious grind-o-mat!" Like, sir, you are focusing on the wrong issue here!

Fourth, if you're implying that you tried to be a voice for the community by stealing from others within it... I'm sorry, but like... what ass backward logic is this? In what world would that have been good and wanted?! Like, yeah, you'll never fully get what it's like to, say, be a bi person being told that they're not allowed an opinion or voice because "You're straight." But like... how would plagiarizing a bi person talking about their bi erasure in that instance help you understand better than just reading it??? That's not how this works. If you don't have the perspective, you don't gain one by stealing! And again, like, why would anyone want you representing them after they found out you were stealing shit? To be a representative is to be their face essentially. Who would be like "Yeah this guy stole from me, but I want him to be my body double from now on"????

I could be wrong about this, but this is what I'm getting from this part. And frankly it's just further proof that he did not get why people were mad.

[theboludaspring]

You Can't Fight Fate

For the Cardverse week, @aphcardverse-week Day 1: You Can't Fight Fate | oracle | prophecy | "I'm not supposed to be here." AO3 link Characters: America & France (platonic). Summary:

Destruction lies ahead for the kingdom of Spades. The young king is the only one who can see it. The King of Diamonds is his only chance.

“I’m not supposed to be here.”

The room is small, dark, and gloomy. The dim candlelight is barely enough to illuminate it, so most corners remain hidden by shadows. Dust stings his nose, and the smell of wet earth in the air makes it obvious how little used it is. Surely a perfect place for clandestine meetings, just as the other king assured him.

That, however, doesn't stop Alfred's eyes from scanning every nook and cranny. He's not foolish enough to believe he's safe, no matter how much Francis smiles and assures him that it's just the two of them there.

Anyone could be watching, judging him, waiting for the perfect opportunity to deal him a killing blow. He has to be careful, as Arthur has always told him, many will try to trick him and take advantage of his inexperience and naivety. He is not a child anymore, he–

“And yet… here you are.” Francis’s silky smooth voice interrupts his thoughts, diverting his attention from the room and trapping him like a spider’s web. There’s something about this elegant man that Alfred can’t help but admire, even as he does something as simple as pouring him a glass of wine—a wine glass with gold rims and an extravagant, expensive ornament on its base.

No one would think that just a few years ago, his kingdom was the most impoverished.

“I need your help,” he admits, his voice sounding dry, immature. Not even close to the tone his host used. He hates having to be so honest with another kingdom and exposing such a weakness, but he doesn’t have many options left. “My kingdom, my people, my advisors— they all keep telling me that I must follow the path forged by the ancient kings.”

“Ah, yes.” The monarch took a sip from his own glass, and even in doing so, he seemed more elegant than Alfred could ever dream of being. He appeared so indifferent to his words, to Alfred, and it was frustrating because, in contrast, Alfred was giving him his full attention. “Your advisors, the Queen and the Jack. They are wise; perhaps you should listen to them.”

His chair hit the floor with a thud, the sound echoing in the small space.

“But I don’t want to!” Even standing there with a rude and, some would say, threatening attitude, the other blond barely looked at him, why didn’t he look at him? “If I follow their stupid advice, if I let everything continue the same, how will we ever improve?” No, that wasn’t really his concern–, “How… how will I ever stop my kingdom from falling apart? If we continue like this, if I listen to them, our only destiny will be destruction.”

“You can’t fight destiny, little king.”

The taste of blood flooded his mouth from where he was furiously biting the inside of his cheek. He had not slept properly for nights. His gift kept showing him over and over again what would happen if he did not act; it tormented him. And no one listened to him! No matter how much he insisted, how much he tried to make them understand. Yao claimed it was just nerves about his new life, and Arthur thought he just wanted to get attention, to be the imaginary hero of a made-up story. He had come here because he thought that maybe, of all people, Francis Bonnefoy would understand what his people didn't. He was supposed to. But seeing him now, barely sparing him a glance as he swirled his stupid wine around like it was the only thing that really mattered…

He was tired.

“You did it.” And it’s an accusation born of disappointment, of pain even. He hears himself sounding like the kid he assures others he’s not, and he hates it and regrets everything. Coming here, believing this would serve any purpose, opening his mouth, trusting him even a little. Yet could anyone really blame him? He had seen how the Kingdom of Diamonds changed and prospered under that man's hand, how he forced fate to mold itself into his image and ambitions, and that once inspired him. The monarch was some kind of hero, an idol, the savior that the gods had sent to Diamonds. But maybe he was wrong, maybe it was as everyone said, just a bit of luck. The man in front of him was nothing more than a—

He pauses, blinking a couple of times, unsure of what he’s seeing. In front of him, it isn’t Francis, the extravagant, relaxed and indifferent man he got to know. No. In front of him is the King of Diamonds, the one who took a nation destroyed by past wars, infertile and poor; and he forged it in the Crown of the kingdoms, the envy of every land.

He is the king that made every other monarch bow their heads, only a few years ago, completely changing the game’s field.

He smiles, but not a friendly smile; it’s the smile of a predator. For the first time, Alfred notices that danger was never hidden in the shadows, but in front of his eyes.

Alfred has his full attention for the first time, and he wants to escape from it.

“I did something like that, right?” The man keeps smiling, still sitting on that luxurious chair (or is it a throne…?), and he’s every centimeter of a king and a little bit more. He’s not like Alfred, really not, who is still trying to understand the ins and outs of this lifestyle and could maybe never understand them. It’s… amazing, and a silly part of him wants to bow his head to someone who’s without a doubt more powerful than himself.

(For now).

He doesn’t do it, he will never do it, but that silly part still exists.

“Teach me how,” he demands, asks, and begs, because he’s tired of dreaming with the fall of his kingdom, because he has seen the numbers and the threats that nobody else seems to pay attention to. Because he has begged for someone to hear him out, to stop treating him like an inexperienced kid playing to be king. And this is his opportunity, his only opportunity. “Please.”

“I could, yes,” he says, and something close to hope blooms in his chest. Something is changing the destiny that has been drawn, and the paths are opening in front of him. “but what will I get in return?”

“An ally,” he responds immediately, the only right answer. Alfred’s eyes shine, a possible future, the future he yearns for, it’s showing itself in front of his young eyes, and he knows he has to grab it with both his hands and not let go. “the strongest that you will ever have.”

Francis smiles at him.

[consumedbyfeels]

Ever since Vivzipop confirmed we are getting a Stolas and Blitzo duet I can't stop thinking about it . 

I feel like it's going to be quite similar to the Fizz/Ozzie duet in "Mammon Magnificent Musical  Mid- Season Special '' In the special Fizz  is feeling very insecure over whether he is good enough for Ozzie. He is expressing the feeling that if he isn't the best and doesn't win Mammon competition then Ozzie won't love him anymore because Ozzie fell in love with 'The Great Fizzaroli' . Now much of this I interpret as coming from Mammon's constant emotional abuse and manipulation. Mammon has convinced Fizz that he is nothing without him. That everything great about Fizz came from what Mammon made him. I would also think that Mammon's manipulations had been helped by Fizz's past trauma from the circus. Buckzo was awful and then Fizz thought that his best friend Blitzo had abandoned him. For a while all Blitzo and Fizz really had were each other so Fizz thinking he was abandoned by Blitzo for 15 years would have done some damage.  Now Fizz and Blitzo both have plenty of trauma to work through on their own and mending to be done to their relationship and I'm excited to see that moving forward.  Now the entire time Fizz is voicing these concerns Ozzie is doing his best to reassure Fizz of his love. He is telling Fizz how much he loves him and that he fell in love with who Fizz is inside, not the version of him that Mammon is using but the real him. that doesn't care about any of the fame. Fizz already knows in his heart that Ozzie loves him; they are already established in their relationship. Fizz believes Ozzie as quickly as does and is reassured and given the confidence to quite and tell mammon to fuck off because Ozzie had been prove to Fizz everyday how much he loves him in all the little ways that most people take for granted. I would argue that they, and M&M are the healthiest relationships in Helluva Boss. 

Now I think that Stolas/Blitzo duet will be similar with Blitzo being insecure about being not good enough for Stolas and Stolas trying to reassure Blitzo that he is. However since their relationship had thus far been a transactional  thing where they exchange Sex for use of the Grimoire it will be harder for Blitzo to truly believe that Stolas cares. We see that he cares for Stolas. Case and point being "He can get hurt" in "Western Energy '' when Stolas is rushed to the hospital after Strikers attack, that alone says it all.  When they went to Ozzie's they were having an admittedly awkward but still okay time for their standards with the bad communication skills they have until Ozzie and Fizz put the spotlight on them. And Honestly I lowkey hate them for that but not really. There are a lot of little things throughout that make it clear that they care about each other and I would even go as far to say they are in love. I think Blitzo is still in denial about it but it's there.  But as we see in hi conversation with Fizz when they are kidnaped he doesn't believe Stolas feels that way for him. It will be harder for Blitz to except Stolas's reassurance but it will be a nice step to change there relationship from what it is to what they both want it to be. Then after this turning point they can begin to be more. They will both need to work hard to prove to each other that they do in fact love one another but I think once the initial hump of getting there feelings out there is taken care of they can do so and be fine eventually. It'll take time and I can't wait to see it.

[undercover-monsterlover]

Hi, Can I request a romantic and Nsfw matchup for AoT, Stardew Valley, MCU. If its too much, Aot is enough. I'm Bisexual with a male preference and genderfluid. English is not my first language, if I do any mistake sorry for it.

About my style: First of all, I give importance to comfort. My clothing is described as conservative by other people. I like to wear long skirts, floral dresses and big sweaters. I generally prefer dark colors, mostly browns and blues. I use Oxford shoes and vintage bags. I love anything floral; earrings, socks, sunglasses, bags.

My appearance: My height is 170 cm. I'm a little chubby. I have big chest and big hips. I have a curvy body that attracts a lot of attention, but I hate it. I have light skin and rosy cheeks. I have dark thick eyebrows, brown almond eyes. And heart-shaped plump lips. I have long wavy black hair, which has been my reputation since childhood. Everyone at school and in the neighborhood knew me as the 'long-haired girl'.

My personality: People who see me describe me as cold, noble, aloof, arrogant, too chaste, intelligent and talented. I partially agree with these. Because of my experiences with my family, I built walls for myself and always kept my distance from people. I left my family and stood on my own two feet. I can be rebellious and raise my voice when I want, but I'm usually very quiet. People in my class make fun of me by calling me a spy. I always have a cold and scary expression on my face, and people who just know me are hesitant to talk to me. But people who know me well say that I am very knowledgeable (they seriously say that I know everything), compassionate and a loyal friend. I make them laugh a lot with clever jokes. I help helpless people. Apart from that, they say that I am extremely outspoken and have a sharp tongue. I can be very cruel and sarcastic sometimes. I take risks and calculate every step. Apart from these, I am very creative and very fond of books. I'm good with handicrafts. I sew, crochet, and draw. I write deep philosophical articles. I like to read everything, especially encyclopedias. I have been supporting charities since I was little, and I am willing to share even my most valuable things with people. I am interested in politics, mythology, fashion, philosophy and art. And my love language is act of service. And I really dont have a ideal type.

Alright, I'd match you with...

Erwin Smith

I believe that at first, due to your cold, aloof exterior, he may be a little wary of you, tending to keep an eye on you. He's used to rowdy, passionate troops and commanders, so your quiet, observant nature concerns him. He just doesn't know how much he can trust you, and trust is very important to him. He notices your sharp tongue, the cruel words directed at people you dislike when you think nobody is listening, the arrogant mockery, and it displeases him.

However, he does also notice the other side of you. Erwin is also an observant man, so he also sees how you treat those you do like, and people less fortunate than you. He doesn't understand at first, you seem so distant and cold, yet are so compassionate to those you consider to need help. And he won't deny, it intrigues him, this contrast. Perhaps that's why he initially decides to make an effort to become closer with you. He wants to understand you.

Oh, but it is difficult. He can tell you have walls up, that you don't trust easily, but he's determined to earn your confidence. He finds it ironic, how he, who was once so concerned with your trustworthiness, is now asking for exactly that from you. He's a forwad man, I believe, he doesn't want to beat around the bush with you, he thinks that would just annoy you. So when he makes his interest in you known, he holds nothing back, telling you exactly how he feels.

When you do start dating, he's almost incessant with his attentions and affections, he hopes baring his soul to you will allow you to trust him just the same, even if it's a slow process. When you do become close to him, and trust him enough, he adores how selfless you are. You'd give the clothes off your back if someone else's needed it more, your innate compassion is so strong. He doesn't quite understand why you don't show this side of yourself so openly, you'd certainly gain more favour with others. But then again, he's always quite happy to keep this secret treasure all to himself.

He's also incredibly proud of how intelligent you are. He often finds himself asking you for advice, wether for base facts, your strategic advice for a scouting mission, or just your opinions on news or others arguments. He likes to get an understanding of your way of thinking, even if he doesn't necessarily need your help with something, he finds it interesting.

As for your more conservative clothes, he's mostly ambivalent. He's never been one to care for appearances, but does somewhat appreciate your desire for comfort and utility in your clothing. He's also noticed your appreciation for florals, and likes that even in your understated style, that little hint of your personality still comes through. He'd do his best to obtain some high quality floral fabrics, for you to craft with. He asks you to make small floral handkerchief for him, which he then keeps tucked in his uniform pocket so he may always have a reminder of you with him.

In public, he notices the lecherous looks you get, but if you're cat-called or harassed, he doesn't step in unless you ask him to. He knows you're a strong person, and can handle yourself, and he wants to encourage you to defend yourself. He also knows that some days you just don't want to deal with it, and at that point, his station as a commander certainly comes in handy in putting down creeps.

He didn't first become interested for you in your body, that's not his style, but he's certainly come to appreciate it. He's concerned however that your long hair could be used against you easily in a fight, and almost considers telling you to cut it, but he really does admire it, and if you cut it...

NSFW

He wouldn't be able to use it to hold your head up when he's fucking you. He loves using it to yank your head back against his chest when he's inside you, or grabbing a fistful when he's fucking your throat, maybe even just running his hands through it if he's in a more generous mood. It's also becomes a bit of a habit of his to tug your hair lightly to signal that he's in the mood for some fun, especially if you're in public and he can't say it outright.

Erwin strikes me as a man who enjoys a good blowjob, he finds them practical and efficient, and god do you have the lips for it. Even when he wasn't quite sure if he could trust you, he would guiltily imagine how your lips would look stretched out around his cock. Though he doesn't have to just imagine it, anymore. He's not a big kisser day to day, you'll usually get a short peck on the cheek before he leaves or when he comes home. But during sex, he's tilting your head up as often as he can to get some sloppy kisses in, nipping at your lips just to feel them give.

Erwin isn't a "daddy dom" or anything quite like that, but he does tend to take the lead during sex. If you've been particularly snappy or sarcastic that day, to him or others, he takes it apon himself to be the one responsible for teaching you a lesson. He'll never be too harsh with you, or more rough than you can handle, but he will let you know he's doing this to keep you in line. He's not usually very talkative during sex, and not loud overall, but when he's doing this for you, he will talk you through it, and expects respectful and time-sensitive responses, no matter how blissed out you may be.

When you've done something particularly pleasing to him, he's proud of you, or he just feels like it, he loves to service you as well. His fingers, his mouth, his cock, anything, they'll all be put towards the purpose of drawing orgasm after mind-melting orgasm from you.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Pride Month Character Sexuality Headcanon Moodboards 1. Yasmine - Lesbian 2. Demetri Alexopoulos - Gay 3. Moon - Bisexual 4. Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz - Bisexual

Next up is everyone's favorite Demetri Alexopoulos-obsessed slightly evil predatory bird boy, Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz! Unlike with Demetri, I am fully aboard the Bisexual Eli Express. Justice for bi guys!!! We need more in media because it is in fact sexy and valid to like dick AND boobs!!!

Now, quick disclaimer that there is not a single mlw Eli ship that I personally fuck with in the least. I've been pretty loud about the reasons for my immense distaste of H*wkM**n, and could in fact write a 20 or so page essay on why they're one of my all-time NoTPs if prompted. Furthermore, my first impulse upon seeing any other female character paired with Eli (or...really, any character who isn't Demetri, or possibly Miguel in extremely specific circumstances) is to keep said pairing approximately 491263844976 feet away from me. BUT, despite my personal feelings of revulsion upon seeing Eli paired with anyone who isn't his soulmate Demetri Alexopoulos, I fully believe Eli is bisexual and that there's plenty of textual evidence to support this!

So let's dive in!

The first thing that comes to mind is how Eli vents to his mom in the 2x05 flashback about how he's "never going to get a girlfriend." Granted, as I've mentioned in some other posts, high school dating is often more about social status (i.e. being seen as "desirable" enough to get an SO makes you more popular) than genuine romantic attraction. BUT Eli voicing his concerns to someone he clearly trusts more than most people indicates to me that he wants a girlfriend more than just for show--he's attracted to girls.

I have a friend who since moved on from the fandom who did autistic analyses of Eli, and pointed out that he's often uncomfortable with eye contact. Pre-Hawk, the only two people we see him make consistent eye contact with are Demetri and his mom. This seems like a pretty good indication that these are the two people he trusts the most, and can most honestly "bare his soul" and be himself around. Another reason I think his vent to his mom about worrying he's never going to have the experience of dating a girl has authenticity to it. I can't compare this to Demetri's interactions with his mom, unfortunately (and it's a damn shame!!! I demand to see Ms. Alexopoulos in S6!!!), but I can say for certain that Eli has expressed wanting a girlfriend from a (presumably) vulnerable and honest place, while S1 Demetri only ever seems to do so performatively.

As previously established, there is no bigger H*wkM**n loather than I. I make no secret of this. HOWEVER!!! I feel like it'd be naive--and maybe even dumb--to pretend that there isn't at least some physical attraction there. Granted, they're definitely emotionally incompatible in a way I wish the show had the balls to actually address (like how the fuck is a pacifist gonna last in a relationship with a dude who loves fighting more than just about everything else lmao), but I can buy they find each other physically (and probably sexually) attractive. Moon basically says as much when she's dumping Eli in S2! They very much strike me as one of those teenage couples who are all over each other 90% because of hormones. I'd say the main difference between them and Dem and Yas is that the performative aspect doesn't seem to be there. While Dem and Yas feel like they're putting on a show, it seems like Hawk and Moon really were just that horny.

So throughout S2, we see Hawk treat Moon in kind of a possessive way, and more as arm candy to make him look good than as her own person (yet another reason I am such a Hater lmao). Despite this, he spends so much time in S3 and S4 moping over her and pining for her that I do think they had somewhat of an emotional connection, even if it was pretty surface-level. I still think their relationship was mostly based on looks and social status, but him being that hung up on winning her back (a frankly unhealthy thing that should not have been narratively rewarded btw) instead of just moving on to some other hot girl who'd give him the time of day indicates that Moon was more than just a beard.

So like. I feel like if you weren't convinced that Eli has feelings for Demetri, you wouldn't be reading a post written by tumblr user demetriandelibinaryboyfriends XD But to briefly summarize: Eli spends much of the show shooting Demetri Yearning Looks and being the only one amused by his antics. Even when they're falling out, Eli is borderline obsessive about harassing Demetri when he could just ignore him and focus on his Cool New Karate Friends. He often seeks Demetri out in fights in a way that feels pretty damn fruity. He's pretty physically affectionate with Demetri, and never seems to mind when Dem is physically affectionate with him (to the point of near cuddling in S4). This is...unusual for teenage boys, to say the least! Oftentimes even the straight ones are so terrified of being perceived as gay that they're super stingy about all but the most "no homo" type of physical affection. The fact that Dem and Eli pretty liberally put their arms around each other and give each other little gestures of physical affection makes me think that they've been in a homoerotic friendship so long that they like. Don't even realize it comes across as kinda gay??? Like Miguel and Demetri are physically affectionate too, but it's much more casual and doesn't feel as intense.

Also worth a mention that Eli is literally simping for Demetri so hard that he joins Demetri's karate dojo right after being terribly traumatized and deciding to quit karate. Why??? Because Demetri said some encouraging things to him, cuddled him on a couch, and basically confessed his love by being like "hey I'll always care about you no matter how you wear your hair or what name you go by." This man is whipped as fuck. His actor basically confirmed he won the championship for Demetri! And lest we forget, the final push that got him to betray the dojo he'd previously devoted his entire life to--also led by a dangerous war criminal sure not to take betrayal lightly, might I mention--was seeing Demetri in danger. Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz is in fact Down Bad.

So I'm not a big fan of the migu/eli ship for reasons I don't want to get into here, but imo it's completely possible Eli had feelings for Miguel at some point (I just don't think they were ever reciprocated because Miguel is in love with Sam!). He definitely idolizes Miguel and puts him on a kind of "coolness" pedestal that feels like it could easily be romantic. He also gets so obsessed with avenging Miguel that he breaks the arm of the other guy he has a crush on, so...there's also that!

Come to think of it, there are actually some really interesting parallels between the Miguel/Eli and Moon/Eli relationships. Both are kind of a case of Eli getting really enamored with this idealized idea/concept he has of a person and getting so wrapped up in that that he has a fundamental misunderstanding of and neglects the actual person's wants and needs. Hence why he's so confused when Moon and Miguel tell him they don't want him in their lives if he's going to be an ass--this isn't how the doe-eyed ever-adoring hot girlfriend and stone-cold, super aggressive badass bestie he built up in his head were supposed to react! Why are they acting like independent people with agency who don't conform to the versions of themselves in Eli's fantasies???

(This is also why I think Demetri's the healthiest and most sensible romantic partner for Eli btw. Eli doesn't idealize and borderline deify Demetri the way he does for other people he has feelings for/seems to have feelings for. He's known Dem so long that we can reasonably extrapolate any feelings that developed were based in the Demetri that was actually there, and not a fictional version he built up in his mind. In fact, it almost seems like Demetri knows Eli has a tendency to do this and won't let Eli project an untrue version of Demetri onto the real guy. That might be why Demetri staunchly refused to change himself to go along with Eli's karate shenanigans in early S2--he was basically saying "I am who I am, and I refuse to become this impossibly glorified image you're projecting onto me." And I can't blame him--I actually get really annoyed when people try to put me on a pedestal, and will often go out of my way to break their illusion that I'm whatever perfect, wholesome box they try to shove me in XD Bottom line being that between Moon, Miguel, and Demetri, I think Demetri has the healthiest relationship with Eli because it's, at the end of the day, the most honest and doesn't hinge on any untrue and unfair projections.)

At the end of the day though!!! The fact that Eli is able to separately idealize both a guy and a girl and both in a pretty romantic or romantic-coded way is pretty damning proof to me that he is in fact bisexual! Look, not all bisexuals process their feelings in healthy ways okay aiksjuuhfkdhg

He dyes his hair ALL THE DAMN BISEXUAL FLAG COLORS. And on the order they're on the flag, too??? Red (S2 - S3) to purple (S4) to dark blue (S5)??? Fucking wild. If this was a fanfiction I would joke about it being too on-the-nose, BUT NO. THIS IS CANON MATERIAL IN THE SHOW.

Okay, I'm sorry, but. NO non-queer dude dyes his hair bright-ass colors like that. Red or blue maaaaybe, but PURPLE??? NO. Straight men simply do not dye their hair purple. Like speaking as an LGBT I'm here to tell you that in the community, brightly colored hair (but especially more "flamboyant," girly colors like purple or pink) basically a signal that says "hey, I am also queer!" ESPECIALLY if you're a dude. Straight girls dyeing their hair bright-ass colors is more common, but I have never known a single straight guy to. And that's because it's associated with being gay af.

Also I can't tell you the amount of times they've put this dude in bisexual lighting. The ones I can think of off the top of my head are S2 Valley Fest and the S3 arm break, but I'm sure there are more I'm forgetting. Demetri is there both the times I mentioned. Hmmmm.

Took some liberties with the bisexual flag in this moodboard to better fit Eli's vibe...and also like. These are literally the three colors he dyes his hair in canon. I had to XD

I'm still not over that btw aksjdkhuef like it's so bisexual it's PAINFUL

I really like how this one came out <3 Hopefully I was able to capture the full scope of technonerd, avian motifs, and that one S3 angerboi I-want-to-punch-everything-and-everyone arc!

Btw the top middle picture is just supposed to be neon fire because our boi is Fiery™️, but then I realized it...kind of also looks like a mohawk??? So kudos to me for the accidental character accuracy XD

Okay so. Would you believe I have several more of these that I didn't have the chance to post? ^^; I uh. Guess I'll have to make July Pride Month 2.0 and post them then XD This is what happens when I'm too overambitious in my shitposts, eh?

As always, pic credits available upon request!

[bluegekk0]

There's been a lot of thought given towards what FPK dreams about that I suddenly considered: what about the others? Holly doesn't really dream, and neither does Grimm, but what about Hornet?

My personal thought is that she is one of those people who have the most vivid, yet bizarre and disturbing dreams that have little to do with her life, because her life flipped around so often and so heavily that the only way her brain can make sense of it all is by dreaming of Herrah building a gazebo with Zote out of bricks that scream in her father's voice

ooooh i like that idea very much. yeah i could absolutely see that, she struggles to process things properly, and seeing that reflected in her dreams would be very interesting. and the anger, she has so much built-up anger - at the world for being so cruel, at the radiance for bringing destruction to everything, at her father for disappearing without a word, and at herself for not doing enough to help. her dreams would often be quite violent, and i imagine some of them she would rather keep to herself. which, naturally, doesn't help if you're trying to process your trauma

grimm would certainly try to help her with her nightmares. i mentioned it in the summary that's still under works, but i imagine his original role in the dream realm, prior to his banishment, was to watch over the mortals' nightmares and help them overcome their fears, before his power weakened and he decided to feed on the nightmare essence to sustain himself instead. it's much more selfish, he's almost like a parasite, entering nightmares and feeding on the fear that fuels them. but it's hard to blame him, with his weakened power he's only able to enter individual nightmares, so he wouldn't be able to fulfill his purpose even if he tried. what he can do, however, is hell his loved ones deal with their nightmares. of course fpk comes to mind first, but he would try his hardest to help the others too. i do believe he still feels some connection to his original purpose, he's not completely selfish, and so he's more than happy to fulfill it with those closest to him

would hornet want him to help her, though? she always bottles up her feelings, and reacts with annoyance to his attempts at help. but deep down, she really doesn't know what to do, and while she rarely makes it clear, she does appreciate that he's trying to offer her some guidance. i believe that, as the time goes, she becomes a lot more open about her problems whenever she talks to him. it's difficult for her to do that with her father, as a lot of her worries and fears concern him, and she realizes how much he already deals with by himself. but grimm has a much better hold of his own struggles, so he's able to give her advice that isn't as emotionally driven as what she would hear from fpk. so if there's anyone she could talk to, it's him

i love thinking about their relationship, there's a lot of comedic potential with their "friends who joke around and mess with each other, who are also dad and daughter but she would rather dive into the abyss than admit it" dynamic, yes. but at the same time, it offers many chances for a lot of personal growth for both of them. in hornet's case, it would directly connect to her anger issues. it's something grimm has also struggled with in the past, he's no stranger to violent outburtsts of anger. but unlike hornet, he's much better at controlling it, so it's difficult to even tell how much rage there is in his heart. and it's thanks to him that horne learns to have better hold of her anger. it's still there, and it's likely never going to go away, but she can still learn to find outlets that don't harm others

i'm realizing now that i drifted quite far away from the original topic, but it does still connect to her dreams. like i said, a lot of them are fueled by her inner anger, and with all the other complicated emotions she experiences, it's not a surprise that her dreams would end up quite surreal and disturbing. she would have no idea how to process them, i mean, how do you even begin? and i think it's by helping her decipher those dreams that grimm teaches her more about her anger and how to control it

i don't know, i just really like the mental image of hornet experiencing a really bizarre or disturbing dream, and then approaching grimm to talk about it and hopefully make some sense of it. i love him being a father to her, even if she struggles to accept that she sees him as such

[aerithisms]

hi! I just wanted to share my 2 cents about your aerith post and her screen time bc after I finished the game I shared the same sentiment, but after 2 weeks of thinking, rewatching and analysing cut scenes (this game lives rent free in my head now), I realized why they pace her arc the way they did. basically her arc deals with her duty as cetra and coming to terms w/ it. however there wouldn't be any progression if she was already resolved to do it, hence at the beginning of rebirth we have aerith who is happy to start her adventure w/ her new friends (the one she wanted to go w/ her mom as we learn from her trial, so her moment of joy after leaving kalm feels even more deep). but as we continue we can see the mix of inner struggles that resides in her: being last cetra, trying to moving on from zack and dealing w/ dark thoughts about hojo. her Costa del Sol scene suggests that she'll learn how to deal w/ all of that and she believes it'll make her a better person in the future (in some way it has come true bc aerith sacrifices her life and any chance to spend it w/ ppl she loves, and of all things she wanted exactly this). despite that it doesn't cancel her desire to have a normal life and enjoy every moment while she can (in the same Costa del Sol ch. where everyone leaves the beach you can see aerith lingering and watching the sunset as she tries to take it all in for the last time). I think starting from Cosmo canyon her resolve comes into form bc she admits about the loneliness she had to face. At the temple she's willing to learn how to control lifestream (even tho you can see moments when she's upset when it doesn't work out). and at the end she's resolved to fulfill her duty not bc she's a cetra but bc of her friends.

This way you learn to care about her as a person and not just her role as a chosen one. also it's just my personal impression that the devs didn't want her to be a walking sign of death to preserve that feeling of her loss. instead they tease the player the idea of saving her to via marlene, red xiii and partially zack scenes (which feels even more cruel imho).

i can definitely appreciate your perspective!! to clarify i didn't want her to be fully formed in her identity and duty as a cetra at the beginning of the game, and this sort of arc about her learning to explore that side of herself more was in fact exactly what i wanted, i just feel the game doesn't really address it as much as i wish it did. like besides the cosmo canyon fire scene and the last couple chapters there's not a lot there and you're left to infer a little too much imo. i would've liked to see aerith voice her feelings about it to someone more so that we could get inside her head about it. nanaki would've been great since he has a similar connection to the planet/responsibility to uphold the legacy of his people, or tifa since she and aerith confide so much in each other already. or even cloud! that could've brought more attention to their relationship in the narrative so it wasn't so sparse.

i do get that they don't want it to be obvious she'll die for new players but by the same token i sort of feel like if they were that concerned about that they wouldn't have had marlene straight up say sephiroth is gonna kill her. by and large this game's story feels targeted at a primary audience of people who've already played ff7 so i don't know that i feel that's a good enough justification not to explore all the facets of her character in more depth while they could.

that being said i absolutely agree that i love her arc about her connection to the party and how she clearly struggles with but ultimately is able to accept her fate because of how much she loves them and how much they brought to her life. i thought that was really beautiful and heartfelt. and for all my griping i did sob over the ending so it's not like these critiques i have ruined the emotional impact overall!

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hi again! Still not a request for mini-prompts lol, but more songs. This time it’s specifically about Julian :)

I was listening to Will Wood while working on some art, and I didn’t realize how many songs remind me of him! I found some new favorites, so I thought I’d share them. Excuse the titles on these, some of them are really long ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ || CW for mentions of alcoholism, pills, sickness, death, and angst!!!

- Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally

The instrumental is so jaunty and jazzy that he’s the first character I thought of. The lyrics, not so much, but It’ll do. Will Wood has a pretty versatile voice, so I think it fits Julian!

- Love Me, Normally

The instrumental also fits that jazzy, dramatic vibe of his- and this time, the lyrics do too. These are ones that stuck out to me:

“Won't follow my dreams/ No, they've all got me waking up screaming / I drank myself to death to be the afterlife of the party/ When the afterparty came, I was rolling in my grave”

- Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialectics, but I Need You to Leave

This one makes me think about how it must have felt being locked in the dungeons during the plague. Valdemar mentioned in Julian’s route that he was a jokester (even though they have the worst sense of humor) who tried to keep the mood high as a way to cope with the situation. If anyone told me he didn’t lose a bit (a LOT) of himself down there I’d probably just laugh, because that was literally traumatic. These are the lyrics i’d quote to envision that:

“Cause back in my day we didn't need no feel-good pills and no psychiatrists / No, we just drank ourselves to death, and god damn it, we liked it”

“Who makes the call? What's a symptom, what's a flaw? / Can it be both? Well I suppose that's an answer / Would you give up your humanity for just a touch of sanity / Cause God knows it's not like it's cancer”

“And a little conformity never hurt nobody / But lately I've been worried that you're losing yourself / So how many milligrams of you are still left in there/ Cause back in my day we didn't need no feel-good pills and no psychiatrists”

- Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!)

This makes me think about his anxiety and depression concerning his supposed murder of Count Lucio. He’s made it clear that he really believes he’s guilty, awful, filthy and however else you would describe a murderer. He took the “truth” of his past and made it his identity.

“Have you ever died in a nightmare / Woke up surprised you hadn't earned your fate /Could you take a look at me / Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I really that bad?”

“It doesn't take a killer to murder / It only takes a reason to kill / We've all got evidence of innocence, it's 'everything's coincidence' the / Difference twixt fate and free will is whether you're singing”

“So if you wash your hands of where you've been until you flood the second floor /Neatly fold your skeletons but still can't shut the closet door”

- Euthanasia

I can’t lie, this one made me cry a little bit. He definitely took the blame for MC catching the plague and dying from it under his watch. I started to feel second hand guilt. He knew there was nothing he could do to help us once we got really sick, and it hurt so bad. People say he would have a sort of sassy voice (picture Tulio from Road to El Dorado), and I agree! But imagining him singing this song just breaks me.

“Say you're not scared / That you know it's because I cared and / Say you know I love you, and that hope was just not there”

“And I know, I know that I'm wrong / That when you're gone, you're gone / And I can't bring you home/ But I want, I want to believe / That you'll remember me / When you're just memory”

“And every, everybody dies / Fighting for their lives / Just trying to survive / Well, now I know, I know why we say / That there's a better place /That waits beyond the grave”

That’s all I’ve got for now, and I’d like to hear other opinions on these songs too! This is just my personal analysis, and obviously I really love Julian enough to spend 2 hours doing this. I hope you like these as much as I do ^_^ Thanks for all you do, Brainrot!

@vegaspng you are not alone in thinking Will Wood songs fit Julian at all, I can't count the amount of songs that have been recommended for him by that artist and at this point it's halfway canon in my head XD

Thanks for breaking them down lyrics wise too! It's so cool to listen to songs the way other people do and share that common experience ^.^

I'm putting these on the playlist and the tag, thank you friend! :D

[that-bipolar-mood]

Hi there,

I don't know who else to talk to about this, and your blog seems like the only one I can talk to about this (you don't even have to answer this).

About half a year ago I started getting into spirituality. At first it was wonderful, and really inspired and encouraged a lot of positive personal growth for me. I started meditating and hearing voices. However, there have been a few times that became disturbing, and a couple were downright terrifying.

I only just recently opened up to my counselor about those moments. She was naturally concerned, and reached out to my my medication specialist to let her know. The meds specialist then gave me a prescription for Abilify, and kind of rushed through the appointment without really listening to me. Hallucinations or not, to me those moments were very real, and to have them so quickly dismissed has hurt me deeply.

I see how my behaviour could be concerning for others. I agree that I do experience hypomania. I'm not living an impulsive or reckless lifestyle, but I do go through cycles of being high-strung, irritable, and depressed, only to bounce back to being pleasant and happy-go-lucky again. Yet it hurts to know that my attempts to better my life and connect with a higher source was noted as a red flag, like they were just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I feel like all of my credibility and respectability has been taken from me overnight. It feels like whenever I become excited about something that it's going to be questioned as a suspicious and monitored as a symptom, instead of allowing me to enjoy my life like an adult. I already feel like my partner looks down on me. He uses my earlier mental illness diagnosis as a means to infantalise and patronise me, even if he doesn't think he is.

We both have relatives with bipolar disorder, and I don't see myself being like them. I've seen what mania looks like, and where it leads to. It scares and dismays me to be put into the same category as them. I could handle the ADHD and depression diagnoses, but BP is more than I'm willing to admit. Quite frankly, I'm ashamed of it. Just like I'm embarrassed for sharing my spiritual experiences and research with those around me, and how silly I must have looked.

I've decided it would be best if I avoid anything involved in spirituality, to play it safe. However, now there's a great absence in my life, with nothing worthwhile to put my time and energy into. There's a deep emptiness and loneliness in my heart with nothing to replace it. My inner compass now has no direction, I don't know what to do with myself anymore, both daily and throughout my life. I feel unremarkable, unsupported, and out of reach of G-d's love.

Thank you for reading through my vent. I hope you're having a good week.

- Jackalope

Well hello, and thank you firstly for reaching out.

To be honest, I believe the majority in the bipolar community or perhaps even the entire mental health community, understands or relates on some level. Also, I won't lie and pretend there is a simple answer here, or that anyone can give you one in the first place.

Now that I've said that, here's my personal subjective view. Spirituality saved me from my existential struggles, but I learnt the hard way that there is a line that I can never cross unless I want to get hospitalised. I tried desperately to balance my spiritual beliefs with reason and this diagnosis I received... it went horribly...for some time. Naturally, l gave up.

Guess what happened. Didn't work out. Depression kicked in faster than ever, and I'm talking about the paralysing, scary, losing-self one. Anyway, this happened next:

1. I just stopped surrounding myself with judgemental people who kept putting me down because of spirituality (frankly, I had no energy left).

2. I embraced the fact that I can be both mentally ill and practice spirituality, but starting slow...(no staying up reading on religions or painting visions instead of eating).

3. I switched psychiatrists and was lucky to find a liberal open-minded one, who helped me sort out which beliefs were harmful and which weren't.

4. Again, lucky for me, I found the right medication that kept me stable and offered me a chance to control triggers better.

So, in my experience, yoga and meditation (sometimes hours long) are not harmful but crucial. Yet, anything that occupies me enough to disrupt or just rapidly change my life can be potentially harmful. Welcome to 'the spectre life' of bipolar.

I'm not sure which diagnosis you consider to be correct for you, I can speak as someone with bipolar disorder, and my life is really all about balance. Meaning it goes both ways. I cannot do without spirituality, but I have to be careful not to "bite off more than I can chew."

I hope this helps and if you feel like chatting or anything really, please message me.

I believe truly that you have the capacity to sort this through and that you will be alright.

<3

[bee-snail]

If you don't mind me having one ask for you concerning the couple question ask thing. It's about Ziti and Demanitus.

#11. What good do they bring out in each other?

#24. How did they fall for each other?

#25. Who said I love you first?

And for kicks and giggles.

#7 What is their most and least favorite thing about each other? For Hector and Ziti

I spent a looooong time sitting on this ask but it's undoubtedly one of my favorite asks I've ever gotten, so ty!! Will be answering them out of order though. Also am basing this off of my own HCs !!

24. HAAAHAHHA. To explain it in the simplest, funniest way: Demanitus was going off about science in his arrogant, know-it-all way (it's Demanitus, what were y'all expecting lmao) and then suddenly a voice comes out of the crowd like "lol, you're so stupid, you can't do a [proceeds to audibly correct him in fromt of everyone, detailing how and why he's wrong and how his theory can be fixed instead]". Everyone is flabbergasted and then Demanitus goes "no one has ever corrected me before ... that's kinda hot." To which she replies with "I know ✨". There's an awkward pause and then he goes "do you wanna go out with m—" "yes."

They are nerds.

25. If you mean audibly, then it was Demanitus. If you mean saying "I love you" through actions, then Ziti did it, winning by a landslide.

11. I believe they used to make pretty much everything a competition (and Ziti is a sore, sore loser). They brought out the best in eachother through the desire to do better than the other, just so they can be proud of them once they achieve something they couldn't before. It was lovely while it lasted ...

They were each other's anchors, so that they could fly off and not get lost in the wind. Very neat, I say.

Ziti made Demanitus enjoy the little moments. Cuddling together in lazy mornings; feet meeting under the table during studies; reading together during a rainy afternoon.

Demanitus made Ziti strive for more. Knowing what things are, going to places, figuring things out, making stuff and doing it well. He made her excited to learn more and do more and it was so so cool.

It's genuinely a shame they didn't work out. They were such a good couple, once upon a time ...

07. WHAT A QUESTION !!

Hector loves how much of a NERD SHE IS FR he just sits there with the dumbest smile while she goes off about mathematical equations to explain the use of magic even if he doesn't understand a single thing of what she's saying. He also really appreciates how she always keeps her word, especially considering her reputation was of a deceiving she-demon, hahehehe.

He does however hate how she never, and I mean never shows her colors easily. She is genuinely one of the nicest people he knows but she refuses to just act like it in front of some people, instead making herself look suspiciously like the villain everyone believes her to be, therefore earning their distrust. It's infuriating !!! Just let them see you, woman !!!

Ziti loves how loyal he is. The moment he latches onto you then he will stick by you forever and ever unless you do some MASSIVE fuck-up and lose his trust (read: Edmund). She appreciates how he'll always face problems head-on instead of beating around the bush like someone used to do...

But she hates how stubborn he is. The moment he gets an idea in his head he will stand by it and will not change his mind unless he is explicitly and undoubtedly proven wrong, or if it explodes in his face. She hates that !!!!!! Just listen to her !!!!!!!

He also secretely loves and hates how much of a sore loser she is. Winning against her in anything is extremely satisfying everytime, but there's a reason why she's been banned from game night. He's just immune to it because he's packed with damage resistance, HAH.

[dellyduck]

Gosalyn, wearing a victorian wedding dress that surely wasn't of her choice, is trying to climb up a garden when she hears a male voice behind her.

"Hello, my lady. Are you in need of assistence of some kind?"

Not sparing him more than a glance, Gosalyn continued to hang by the wall as she answered, "Uh, I'm quite fine, thank you. You can go back inside and wait with the others."

"I will, but first- I'm curious, what are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"... You are doing something."

"I am not."

"You are."

"I am not."

"You are!"

With a frustrated sight, Gosalyn steps away from the wall, hands on her hips as she continues to study it.

"If you must know, I'm trying to determinate the best way to climb over the garden wall."

"Climb..." the confusion in his voice was clear. "Whatever for?"

"Because I think he may be a beast."

"A beast?"

"Or a troll."

"... Who are we discussing?"

Gosalyn scoffs with a laugh, "Now that's impertinent. None of your business."

A couple of seconds pass with both of them in in silence, before the young woman comes around to admit, "The King. No one will speak of him, no one, so he must he a beast or a troll."

"I see..."

"Maybe if I grab that!" Gosalyn suddenly exclaimed, going for one of the firm vines on the wall. "Maybe you could assist me by lifting me up there?"

"Uh, one question," the man spoke up instead, making no motions of helping her. "You do not like beasts or trolls? What he looks like matters?"

"I do not care what he looks like, what I do not like is not knowing," Gosalyn stated matter-of-factly. "Now here, I believe that with your lift I can make it over the garden wall."

"You want me to help you over the garden wall so you can escape?"

"That's what I said, yes." She really didn't think she could have been more clear.

"People will notice you are missing, will they not?"

"Well, that's a concern I shall have later- now, *please*. I just need a little help, come, make haste."

And she went for the vines again, just waiting for the man behind her, whoever he were, to do as she asked.

But instead, "I have absolutely no intention of helping you."

Gosalyn let go of the wall and turned around. Fully turned around this time, taking in for the first time the figure of the duck before her. White feathers and hair, clearly taller than her, with a good counternance, and wearing grey clothes that looked as fancy as his manners fitting of a gentleman.

Even though he wasn't acting very gentlemanly right now, and stepping closer to him, Gosalyn was sure to point out that fact.

"I am a lady in distress," she stated. "You refuse to help a lady in distress?"

She really thought she had him now. However, the duck remained unphased, and nothing could've prepared Gosalyn for his answer.

"I refuse when that lady in distress is trying to go over the garden wall so she doesn't have to marry me."