#& not wait for an answer

[zer0point5ive]

guys will say is anyone gonna flirt with this man chained up in the saw 2004 bathroom with me and not wait for an answer

[comfortcomes]

supposedly there was going to be a nin cover of sex dwarf that never materialized and it makes me so sad a. bc i love that song and b. bc the idea of noted 5’6” man trent reznor singing this is so fucking funny to me

[hisonlybegottenbeysuschrist]

my mom loves to come into a room where the tv is not on, turn the tv on, and leave

[meo-eiru]

Where do you think you are going?

[alistair-blackwood]

[sexhaver]

every time i start thinking about the Cagots i go a little insane

[egophiliac]

WAIT when did he get FANGS

[morganbritton132]

Steve and Eddie get paired up for a group project and Eddie makes a snide comment about Steve being too stupid to notice that his best friend is in love with him.

“Carol is not in love with me.”

“Wasn’t talking about her, dipshit.”

Steve rolls his eyes and lets it go until that conversation pops into his head again. He turns to Tommy and asks, “Do you love me?”

And Tommy’s entire soul leaves his body at 3:47PM, October 13th, 1983 in the parking lot of McDonald’s.

[ultravioletbrit]

“celebrate” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 432 words

“James?” Regulus asks nervously.

“Yes, love?”

“Do you… would you… I wanted…” Regulus fumbles over his words.

“Reg?” James puts his hand on Regulus’ bouncing knee and Regulus takes a deep breath.

“I didn’t know if maybe… if you wanted to do something… special on Friday?” Regulus forces the question out, trying not to sound as stupid as he feels.

“Oh…err… sure, if you want.” James looks a little confused. “Any particular reason you want to do something Friday?” James asks, and now Regulus feels really stupid.

This is Regulus’ longest relationship. He’s never made it to six months, and he didn’t know what to expect. Maybe six months isn’t as important as he thought. But it feels important to Regulus, and he just wanted to do a nice dinner or something. But now he feels stupid for even bringing it up.

“Err… no… erm…” Regulus shakes his head and stands up from the couch. “Never mind.” He mumbles and starts to walk away.

James catches his wrist and pulls him back down beside him.

“Hey, no. I just didn’t know if there was a reason you wanted to do something Friday?” James asks again.

“No. It’s stupid. Never mind.” Regulus tries to stand up again but of course, James doesn’t let him get far, pulling him even closer this time.

“We can definitely do something Friday.” James tells him, rubbing circles on the back of Regulus’ hands. “For our anniversary, right?” James asks.

Regulus shrugs pathetically, looking down at his lap. James lifts a hand to Regulus’ chin and tilts his head up.

“I was only curious if there was a reason you wanted to celebrate on Friday, that’s all.” James says sweetly.

“Erm… because it’s our anniversary?” Regulus says, confused because didn’t they just establish that?

“Our anniversary’s on Saturday.” James says simply.

“No. It’s Friday.” Regulus corrects him.

“No. It’s Saturday.” James says with a little chuckle.

“James, you asked me out on the 8th.” Regulus tells him.

“Yeah… but you didn’t say ‘yes’ until the 9th.”

“I… oh.” Is all Regulus can manage to say.

“Now,” James says and pulls Regulus onto his lap. “I have some surprises planned for Saturday, but we can absolutely celebrate on Friday also.”

“No. That’s stupid.” Regulus mumbles as he buries himself in James’ chest, hiding his face that is probably several shades of red.

“Nope. We’re doing it!” James says excitedly. “And I’m disappointed with myself that I didn’t think of it first. So…” James starts talking about what they should do on Friday and Regulus feels so stupidly happy as he cuddles impossibly closer to James.

[vaguely-concerned]

the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh

[retquits]

your art is so so beautiful!! if you ever feel up to it and you keep drawing field of mistria characters, i hope you draw ryis one day!! i would love to see him in your art style :)

i have so got you anon!!! 💞

[letsplaythermalnuclearwar]

Homer!Odysseus and Epic!Odysseus would try to kill each other if they ever met

[fairsweetlonging]

pixie!shen yuan au where he transmigrates into a cute little forest pixie, with pretty gossamer wings that sparkle like stars, a voice that tinkles like tiny silver bells, and long dark hair that he braids while wearing flowers as sunhats!!

he lives in a hollow tree on cang qiong, enjoying the rivers and groves and rocky cliff faces. his little house is filled with all kinds of trinkets, a lot of which he's stolen found from the sect, like buttons and beads and scraps of silk, needles as swords and fancy tea leaves from pots left out by kitchen windows. he quite likes his little life, the only downside is that he can't really read books this way, because even though he sneaks into the libraries at night and his wings are a source of light, most books are way too heavy and he's worried his (faint but present) spiritual energy will be detected.

he watches the disciples train on different peaks, soaking in all the new lore and details that airplane put way too little time and energy into. he's there before the plot, so binghe hasn't arrived yet and he can take his sweet time making a plan to ensure binghe won't destroy the mountain.

one day, though, the rare time he ventures out into qing jing peak, he gets distracted by an open window to the bamboo house. he knows it's stupid, but this might be the only chance he has to take a look inside the villain's lair, it's something he needs to know if he wants to help binghe in the future, and so he goes inside and takes a look around—

and promply gets trapped inside a mason jar.

oops.

shen qingqiu's face looks at him from the other side of the glass, still menacingly beautiful even with the slight distortion. worst-case scenarios flash through his head; crushed into pixie jam, experimentation, harvested for parts, stalled out like a fancy ornament on the shelf... but it's none of that.

"sneaking around my peak, entering my home, naughty little thing," shen qingqiu huffs, "were you not taught manners?"

he leaves the jar on the desk for a bit, chiding shen yuan but then—opens the jar? and lets him out? he tells shen yuan not to sneak into his house anymore and then just... continues with his paperwork. shen qingqiu's cruelty is limited to humans, it seems, and not animals or tiny fairies.

so of course shen yuan comes back.

he doesn't want to push it and risk shen qingqiu crushing him like a fly, but he enjoys hanging around the house and watching the qing jing disciples train and play music. ning yingying is already there, so it can't be much longer before binghe arrives. shen qingqiu is surprisingly kind to her compared to the other disciples, who he regularly drives to tears. the man notices him and tries to shoo him off, but ofc it doesn't work. after some time shen qingqiu keeps casually looking around to find him and shen yuan is proud to be getting on the man's nerves.

at some point liu qingge comes by, stomping hard enough to make the leaves shen yuan uses as a hammock shake. since it's the bai zhan war god shen yuan is excited to see him (liu qingge is often on missions, and shen yuan avoids bai zhan out of a healthy precaution of aggressive teens with swords), so he comes closer. the two peak lords hold the stupidest argument known to man that shen yuan only half listens to, fascinated by the sword liu qingge carries. but then liu qingge suddenly jerks his arm and shen yuan spooks, shooting up.

liu qingge sees something flying at his face and reacts like anyone would—he swats at it. hard.

when shen yuan hits the ground he can feel his wings get crushed under him; for a few seconds he's terrified liu qingge will stomp on him and scrambles to get away, only to get grabbed and scooped up into the air. he wildly kicks his legs and hits his tiny little fists on the hands that hold him, little voice jingling like crazy, but then shen qingqiu raises his voice and snarls at liu qingge.

"you idiot! watch where you wave those big paws of yours, brute! look what you did, you could have killed him!!"

then shen qingqiu turns around and goes into his bamboo house, kicking the door shut. he takes shen yuan to his bedroom, putting him on a soft handkerchief as he looks over his little wings and mutters vicious things to himself about "slaughter-happy idiots". shen yuan is too stunned to respond and just sits there as the scum villain fusses over him. his wings aren't really hurt, just a little squished, it's fine! shen qingqiu then lectures him for being reckless and coming so close to a brute like liu qingge.

after that they sort of become... friendly? shen yuan sets out to be the most mischievous little pixie he can be, but somehow it only works in his favor; he steals little things from shen qingqiu's home (not that he can carry much more than a button or brush), flutters in circles around the man's head, dips his little boots in ink and then walks on paperwork, etc. but shen qingqiu doesn't seem bothered by any of it. if anything, he leaves trinkets for shen yuan to take, offers his hand as a perch to sit on, and makes a tiny brush for shen yuan to use instead.

shen qingqiu gains a little friend and life gets a little calmer on qing jing peak. when binghe comes, shen yuan manages to distract shen qingqiu enough that the tea dumping never happens, and binghe is shooed off after the ceremony. binghe still isn't treated right and still has to sleep in the woodshed, but shen yuan secretly helps him and acts like a little night light in the dark, so binghe gets quite attached.

meanwhile liu qingge is regretful of having slammed a pixie out of midair and must prove his honor, thus begins the habit of dropping off gifts at shen qingqiu's doorstep (also because his sister freaked out a little, apparently hurting fairies is bad luck and he might have cursed himself for eternity? anyway).

this display causes yue qingyuan to show up too with the biggest wettest puppy eyes because he heard xiao jiu has a new friend who now lives in his house? shen qingqiu kicks them all out.

this has already gone on so long so the last thing i want to add is shen yuan eventually manages to cultivate a human form, and with a little effort he can even keep his wings! and of course this makes it worse, because that sweet little pixie is now a beautiful man who wife beams everyone in a three mile radius and doesn't even notice it.

shen qingqiu and luo binghe unexpectedly bond over beating suitors away.

[fowlfics]

the laws of tragedies, by @annabelle--cane

[ozzyfromscotland]

jason doesnt act violently towards tim for any malicious reasons he just gets immense cuteness aggression

[emrysmoss]

men in Camelot will see Merlin and be like “is anyone else gonna lay down their life for this guy in the sluttiest way possible?” and not wait for an answer