#& literally no matter how hard i& try i& can't get over them no matter what i& do. ive& accepted it long ago—i& l.ove them unconditionally.
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I think you misunderstand my point entirely. It's not about the practical reality of whether Ash could "conceivably" have escaped his life of crime and lived a secure and anonymous life with Eiji, and it's certainly not me saying I think Ash had to somehow "pay" for what he had done during his days as a gang leader. It's about what Ash thinks of himself, and his particular trauma and the damage wrought upon him and his psyche by the severe abuse he suffered and the life he was forced to live as a consequence. It doesn't matter if Ash could have realistically or potentially escaped his life, because he couldn't escape the self-hatred that the abuse he suffered instilled in him. It doesn't matter whether his being in Eiji's life wouldn't have actually endangered Eiji, becaues Ash believed that his presence in Eiji's life did. He couldn't escape his trauma, and that's really the point and the purpose of Ash's death, in the end, is it doesn't allow the reader/audience to undermine or downplay what Ash lived through by acting like everything would have been hunky-dory if only he'd been able to run off to Japan and live happily ever after with Eiji. It forces the audience to contend with just how devastating Ash's trauma is and the true horror of child abuse by showing the tragic end point of it in Ash's death. Ash quite literally dies as a result of that abuse, because it was that abuse that led him to run away from home, which in turn led him into Dino's hands, who's further abuse led him into a life of crime, which, ultimately, is what led to Lao believing he had to kill Ash in order to protect Sing.
Ash had all the ability in the world, all the potential in the world to be whatever he wanted, sure. But it didn't matter, because his life was destroyed by the abuse he suffered and by the people that abused him.
Banana Fish offers no idealistic ending or silver lining to the life that Ash was forced to live, and that's what makes it such a powerful work of art. It presents a naked and raw depiction of the true consequences of child abuse and forces the audience to contend with that reality. It doesn't allow you to console or comfort yourself with notions that anything, no matter how bad, can be gotten over, if only you try hard enough. That's just not reality. There are so many people in real life who never get over their trauma, who never make a full recovery, or even a partial recovery, and it's one of the most insidious and cruel aspects of this insistent claim that everyone can recover from their trauma, because it's essentially telling the people who can't that the failing is their own, sending them the message that they failed because they didn't try hard enough, or simply weren't strong enough. And that's just simply not true. People who are unable to overcome their trauma are no less than anyone else.
Ash believed plenty of things about himself that weren't true, and that's the point. He believed those things because he'd been conditioned through years of horrific abuse to believe them, and him dying in the end forces you to contend with the true weight of that, by denying Ash what he actually deserved, which was a life of happiness and love. It's so absurd to me when people say "Ash didn't deserve to die" or "Ash deserved better". Like, no shit. But Ash didn't deserve any of what happened to him in his life, and again, that's the point. It didn't matter what Ash actually deserved because he was failed so completely by the people that should have protected him in the first place, and it's their failure that resulted in Ash's life being so unfair and cruel. It's because they allowed Ash to fall through the cracks. The same story of so many abused children in this world. None of it is deserved or fair, but it's reality.
Banana Fish is meant to serve as a warning for why we can't allow the things to happen to children that we see happen to Ash, and it drives home just how unacceptable allowing those things is by having the story end in Ash's death, by giving us the worst possible outcome for what Ash suffered, and so impressing upon us why we have to try our hardest to make sure what happened to Ash never happens to anyone else. Ash's death forces us to face the true consequences of allowing children to be abused. We aren't allowed to pretend through Ash's "happily ever after" that what happened to him really wasn't so bad after all.
Further commentary on the ending of Banana Fish (Spoilers):
Look, I understand the controversy and upset surrounding the ending of Banana Fish. My last post on this topic seems to have pissed some people off, which was never my intention. But I think maybe I could have worded things a bit better, so I’m going to try again to explain why I feel like the ending of Banana Fish was so perfect.
It’s not a happy ending, and I don’t think anyone, anywhere, will try to tell you that the ending was meant to make anyone happy, or satisfied. That’s the point. It’s not MEANT to please the reader. It’s meant to remain true to its narrative realism. And in that realism, it’s meant to break the readers heart. And boy does it do both.
I don’t think anyone would tell you, anyone with any ounce of feeling in their heart, anyway, that Ash didn’t deserve a happy ending, or that he deserved to die after all the awful shit he went through. I think we can all agree that we would have wanted, if we had a choice, to see Ash have a happy, hopeful ending with Eiji in Japan. We all agree that Ash DESERVED a happy ending, because he was a good person who was dealt about the shittiest hand in life a person can have. And despite all that shit, he retained that innate goodness of heart that made him who he was. He never became a monster, like the people who used him up and abused him over and over again. That’s what makes him such an extraordinary character that’s deeply loved by so many people. He absolutely deserved to be happy.
But that’s the thing. Banana Fish is a story that deals in reality. Everything that happens in the story, despite the often extraordinary, larger than life circumstances, is dealt with in a way that is, very often, brutally, painfully honest and realistic. It doesn’t give us what should be, it gives us what IS. And that makes perfect sense in accordance with its relation to writers like Hemingway and Salinger. They wrote stories that dealt in brutal honesty and reality too, and both writers are referenced throughout Banana Fish. And it’s Banana Fish’s commitment to that brutal honesty and reality that makes it an authentic piece of art. People want a fairy tale ending, where Ash gets to ride off into the sunset with Eiji and live happily ever after, but at no point in Banana Fish are we given any indication that the story is, at any point, going to delve into the realm of unreality and fantasy, and give us such an ending. To do so would have been a betrayal of the genuine nature of the narrative. It would have ultimately robbed it of its authenticity as a piece of art, and the story, as a result, would have been left hollow and lacking.
Banana Fish, throughout its narrative, shows us that terrible things happen to good people, and that good people are often forced into doing terrible things. It never shy’s away from that cruel, heartbreaking reality, and the ending is no exception.
It affects us so deeply, and leaves us so upset, because it’s so REAL. It feels genuine to us, it feels real, because it refuses to betray its honesty for the sake of a happy fantasy. It remains loyal to the harsh truth of reality, and the harsh truth of Ash’s reality in particular. Ash is a deeply damaged, broken person, who’s experiences in life are the very definition of cruelty. Here is a boy who, since the age of seven, has experienced sexual, mental, emotional and physical abuse repeatedly and on a scale truly unfathomable to almost all of us. A boy who was forced into a life of prostitution in order to simply survive on the harsh streets of an unforgiving city. A boy who, again out of a necessity for survival, has had to kill other human beings. A boy who, out of a desperate situation in which he was forced to choose either to save his soulmate or watch him be murdered by his best friend gone berserk in a mad, drug induced insanity, had to kill his best friend by shooting him straight through the heart. A boy who, each time in his life that he’s tried to build real and meaningful relationships with other people, Griffin, the girl he liked when he was 14, Skip, Shorter, Eiji, he’s had to watch those people he allowed himself to grow close to either die or almost die, over and over again. All of that combined creates a level of trauma that’s so far beyond the normal scope or understanding of a regular human being, so far beyond any discernable mechanism for coping with trauma, that to expect Ash to just get over it, for it all to magically be okay just because he moves to Japan with Eiji, is the height of unrealistic, and, again, would be a betrayal of the authenticity the story marries itself to from start to finish.
Ash’s death is a tragedy, as his life was a tragedy, and the story is a reflection of that. It stays true to that narrative, and never compromises on it. That’s the point. Life doesn’t always have a happy ending. People that have suffered severe, irreversible trauma don’t always recover, and can’t always heal from it. People who have suffered in the obscene and brutal ways that Ash has aren’t always going to be alright. Sometimes it’s just too much. For Ash, it was just too much. Too much damage. Too much heartache. Too much pain. Too much loss. Sometimes we can’t overcome our damage, and that reality presented in this story scares people, I think, because it’s so nakedly honest and unapologetically expressed.
The ending is so god awful painful too because we see, in that moment after Ash reads Eiji’s letter, hope bloom inside him. For an instant, this belief that maybe he can have a happy ending, when he thinks he’ll catch Eiji at the airport, and maybe go with him. And in the next instant, he’s mercilessly reminded of that hope’s falsity. Hope springs eternal, but not always true. Hope and happiness were never meant for Ash. The chance for that was taken from him before he could even understand what those concepts were. The thematic arc of the story was telling us from the start that it was going to end in tragedy.
People weren’t meant to LIKE this ending. It wasn’t meant to make them feel good, or okay with what happened, or fulfilled. In fact, I’d say, it’s meant to make you feel completely devastated. As the story reflects reality, so often too does real life end in a way that leaves us feeling lost and confused and heartbroken. Banana Fish is so good because it stays true to that sense of reality, right until the very end.
The ending doesn’t leave us feeling happy, but it sure does leave us FEELING. Like any real piece of art would. The emotions it conjures are immense and, for some I guess, too real. That sense of loss and hopelessness and pain it leaves us with is so effective because, again, it’s so honest. And I guess that because those emotions are so real, and felt so deeply, and with such intensity, it leaves some readers and viewers feeling angry. Lashing out at a reality which they don’t want to accept. The irony, of course, is that their hatred and rejection of the ending is testament to just how deeply the ending touched them. It didn’t leave them feeling nothing, it left them feeling too much, and they then go into a state of denial, which is really just a stage of grief. A refusal to accept. You know Banana Fish is a true piece of art for that, in how it conjures sincere feelings of grief and mourning in us for its lead character in Ash. We CARE about him, deeply. We want him to be alright, because we love him.
But real art isn’t concerned with placation. It’s concerned with truth. So many great pieces of literature have unhappy endings, because that’s the truth of the human condition, and the condition of life in general. Real art won’t shy away from those painful, awful truths, nor is it afraid to conjure the feelings which go hand in hand with those truths in its audience.
With all that said, the tragedy of the ending doesn’t demand a feeling of meaninglessness or desolation at all.
Eiji’s love for Ash and Ash’s love for Eiji is still so pivotal and, ultimately, essential in how the story ends. It’s what allows, maybe not a feeling of hope, but a feeling of peace.
You sense throughout the story that Ash knows he’s going to die. Like he senses that his life is too fucked up, that he’s been through and had to do too many horrible things for it to last very long. It’s like the saying of he who burns brightest burns twice as fast. Ash is burning, and he knows it. He’s already accepted it as an inevitable conclusion. He doesn’t actively seek death, but he doesn’t fear, nor fight against it. At points throughout the story, even, he asks for it, when the horror of what’s happening to him becomes too much. He knows death is coming for him. The only thing keeping him from giving in so easily I think is his lack of agency in how he will. Everything has been taken from Ash, and he doesn’t want to give this last thing away. This choice in how he dies.
Eiji’s love is what finally gives him agency in that decision.
Ash died knowing Eiji loved him, and that knowledge, that certainty that he was loved, genuinely loved by another human being, without any strings or conditions attached, simply loved for himself alone, is what allowed Ash to finally find the peace in death which alluded him in life. He no longer feels like he has to keep fighting, or struggling on through an endless malaise of misery and pain, because he’s finally found the calm and acceptance which comes with knowing he has this one, pure thing for himself, which nobody, none of his abusers, can ever touch or take away. With everything else that’s been stolen from Ash, his innocence, his sense of agency, his own body, his own mind, Eiji’s love for him is the one thing nobody could ever steal away. And that’s, I think, why Ash dies smiling, because it’s that knowledge, that he was worthy of another human being’s true love, that at last shows him that he was a human being himself. Not an animal. Not a monster. He was a human being worthy of love.
Ash’s death is heartbreaking, and brutal, but there’s deep consolation to be had in knowing he spent his final moments with the feeling of Eiji’s love for him alive inside his heart, allowing him at last to feel like a person deserving, worthy of love.
It’s that which allows Ash to finally let go of his struggle, and let’s death’s embrace take hold of him. It’s his own. Eiji’s love, and his choice to let go of life.
It doesn’t make the ending any less heart wrenching or brutal. It doesn’t make us any less devastated by Ash’s death. But it gives us a sense of peace, in knowing, even if we are left feeling lost and heartbroken, Ash himself left life with the fulfillment of knowing he was loved.
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yikes at that anon lecturing you, but especially at this part
Paying attention to Stolas language in Murder Family, fucked up context aside, he don't bring up consequences if Blitz didn't accept the trade neither mentioned his power to threat him to accept it either, he offered and even asked if it's fair, someone as powerful as Stolas could control Blitz easily, yet he doesn't and it shows a lot about his character, but of fucking course you all don't care about that, Stolas is a big meanie.
what is it with Stolas fans and acting like what he says is the only thing that matters in that scene? saying 'fucked up context aside' is just trying to sweep away the entire problem people have with that scene
the context is what makes it unfair. the context is the threat to make Blitzo accept the deal - Stolas knew Blitzo was in danger and couldn't think straight and kept the call going anyway. there was a literal threat to Blitzo's life that Stolas was leveraging to get him to agree. the context is also where the control comes in - Blitzo needs access to the book therefore Stolas has control over him, because Blitzo has significant reason to agree regardless of whether he wants to or not to be able to keep being able to eat and house both himself and Loona. this isn't that hard to understand; it's no different than a power difference between a tenant and a landlord. except Stolas is worse because he's literal royalty and Blitzo is part of a species considered less than dirt
and Blitzo especially has reason to think there will be consequences for saying no because Stolas is showing him through ignoring all the signs he's in danger on that phone call that he does not care for his wellbeing - he called when Blitzo's life was in danger and he knew that full well. there's no 'yeah but'-ing to get out of that one. saying 'well Stolas could have been way more overt with his control!' is not a defense. Stolas is such a malicious abuser because he's the one person in the cast who isn't a mustache-twirling silent movie villain about it, because he'll do things like say 'sound fair?' when everything about the situation is weighted in his favor. this part is basically saying 'he could have been super obvious about how he was going to force Blitzo into sex but because he tried to pretend like he was being fair (even when he blatantly wasn't) that shows what a good person he is!'
also this:
This misconception you all have that Stolitz fans think all this needs to happen is Blitz to confess, and that Stolas has nothing more to improve is just wrong. Just plain wrong. I love both of these characters and I hate seeing an enormous mischaracterization of both.
I personally haven't seen the (remaining) Stolitz shippers saying this for one simple reason: I avoid their spaces. I don't like seeing posts similar to anon's where anything Stolas does wrong is the result of a misunderstanding or just Blitzo taking it badly because he's insecure or something, or worse where the very obvious signifiers of abuse on Stolas' part are handwaved away. I know that stuff will bug me so I avoid it
but anon clearly doesn't abide by the same rules. they're so bothered by a 'mischaracterization' of their faves that they're marching into people's inboxes to write long screeds about how antis are just missing the point or whatever else.
if there's only one anon or several my advice is the same: stay out of anti spaces. you clearly can't handle it and you need to stop making it everyone else's problem. if this ramping up of pestering people is some strange attempt to shut down criticism of the next ep before it even drops, you're wasting your time. the view counts on helluva show it's turned off a lot of people and you can't debate someone back into loving something that's let them down too many times
just go enjoy the show in your own spaces and block tags/people whose takes you don't want to see. trying to police people's critiques on helluva is both a losing battle and a waste of time
“Stolas is great if you just pay attention to his sad backstory and try not to think about the bad stuff he did. And attribute all the bad stuff to Blitz being a mentally ill tsundere”
Any time I am exposed to a owlizard shipper it’s always against my will despite my best efforts, because they are absolutely everywhere. The creator of the show is one of them, the entire show was thrown out to instead be catered to them and their headcanons. They make up almost the entire fan space and in fact shippers write and animate the very show itself.
But it’s still not good enough? They still have to rant about people that aren’t on their team?
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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your post about sylus essentially conditioning the reader to sit on his lap hasjsakddf that was so perfect and in character 😭 i love it sm its given me so much brain rot - how bout this:
can i request the lads boys reaction to the reader randomly asking to be carried/picked up in the middle of walking? for no other reason just to see how'd they react lol
LaDS casually carrying MC
Xavier
The most casual. He just smiles at you and asks, "Bridal or piggyback?" in the same tone as if he's asking what you want to eat.
And he's not just playing along. He means it. He wants to be the one you lean on — metaphorically and literally.
You can try and backtrack but then you'll get those eyes. The bluest puppy dog eyes that can break the strongest of wills. "Are you sure? We still have a few blocks to go to the café, I don’t want you to get tired..."
You feel like you're holding out on him by not letting him carry you. The mind tricks this man is capable of to get what he wants are ridiculous.
You fold embarrassingly fast and Xavier is happy as can be with you on his back, your arms and legs around him like a full-body embrace. He can see the tactical advantage to carrying you like this during missions, too.
Rafayel
"You want me to carry you?“ Rafayel scoffs. “What if I pulled a muscle in my arm and couldn't draw for a week? No thank you!"
He refuses until you ask if it's not that he doesn't want to carry you, but that he can't.
Now you've wounded his pride. He might not be the God of the Sea anymore, but he can't let this go unanswered! Rafayel will be on you relentlessly to let him pick you up, no matter how long it takes.
"Whoa, be careful, cutie! There's no telling how deep these puddles are from all the rain — you're super lucky your boyfriend is here to carry you to safety."
When you finally break and let him do it just so he can prove a point, he realizes he likes this way more than he thought he would. You're like his adorable little prisoner and the only way you're getting out is in praise and smooches. This will become a regular thing, I fear.
Zayne
“I told you to wear more comfortable shoes.”
Zayne inwardly grins at how quickly you deflate at his blunt response. It's adorable.
But Zayne has a hard time denying you something so innocent as wanting to be close to him. So he guides your arm to wrap around his shoulders and picks you up with a strength that always takes you by surprise.
He waits for you to settle comfortably in his arms before he starts walking. He's aware of the disapproving stares from the people around you and not too long ago, he would've been one of them. How quickly his perspective has changed because of you.
Zayne is brought out of his thoughts when he feels you peck his cheek and now you get that oh so familiar look of gentle reproach from him. "I am working on being more affectionate but I'm not there yet, MC. Now, behave or your ride will end early."
Sylus
Sylus is so caught off guard that, for once, you can see his entire thought process play out through his expressions.
Surprise at your request, suspicion you're just toying with him, the realization you're being somewhat serious, and then the most gratified look you've ever seen on his stupid smug face.
Now you’re speaking his language. So delighted you’re finally catching on, he just picks you up and continues on his way without breaking his stride.
However, you didn't specify how he should carry you. So you're draped over Sylus's shoulder and to keep you there, his hand is dangerously high up on your thigh for being in public. The smack on your ass is so inevitable, you can feel it like it's already happened.
"You just said you were tired, now you want me to put you down? You need to learn to make up your mind, kitten. I'll just carry you until you're sure of what you want."
#i think rafayel is the only one who hasn't carried us yet...? correct me if i'm wrong#love and deepspace#love & deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love & deepspace x reader#lads x reader#l&ds x reader#my writing
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one of the most evil parts about me being told that i needed to lose weight before i could get my diseased gallbladder removed was that without telling me at all whatsoever, the physician's assistant who was responsible for my surgery consult silently gave me a referral for bariatric weight loss surgery. she told me that i'd have to get my gallbladder removal surgery with that department as well because they're used to working on bigger bodies.
she told me this, but that's not what she meant. she wanted me to get bariatric weight loss surgery all because i told her that i have poly cystic ovarian syndrome and that it's hard for me to willingly lose weight. when i called the bariatric surgeons about scheduling my consult for my gallbladder removal, they were extremely confused and were like "well is this for the bariatric surgery referral or the gallbladder removal referral?"
without my permission, without me asking, the physician's assistant silently signed me up for weight loss surgery that i never consented to. i never once mentioned wanting this surgery. i never once mentioned that my weight is affecting my health or bothering me. this person saw this as a mandatory step in order to get the surgery to remove my diseased organ. as if there were no other options. i never want to get bariatric weight loss surgery because i know it will completely devastate my health. this PA was so stuck on my weight. she could not get over it, she was literally obsessed. she did not care about my health, safety or well being, she was just obsessed with her hatred of fat people
she saw my weight as a higher priority than my diseased gallbladder. she was so stuck up her own ass that she was convinced that my weight was doing more damage to me than my gallbladder was. she wanted to keep blaming me for eating a high fat diet (i'm a vegetarian- i don't eat a high fat diet) and mocking me for being fat. she literally saw me being fat as a bigger issue than the fact that i had a literal rock stuck in the neck of one of my organs. if you ask me, if the surgeons and anesthesiologists have problems working on fat patients, that's a skill issue on them. that means you're a bad surgeon or anesthesiologist and you need to try to improve your skills. this is a literal skill issue, it's not the patient's fault that the medical professional fucking sucks at their job!
i can't describe to you how evil and insidious that is. the fact that she looked at me and went "oh my fucking god it's your weight that's the problem just go lose weight you fat asshole" just showed how much disregard she has for her fat patients. it's like she relishes torturing us or leaving us to be sick or die. there's no reason to behave this way. there's no reason to FORCE someone into weight loss surgery. my health is NOT being negatively impacted by my weight- gallstones are not caused by being overweight, and you can't give yourself gallstones. no matter how much fat you eat you can't give yourself gallstones- this is something that happens outside of your control
i hate medical professionals who are proudly fatphobic. they wear the fact that they let people remain sick and die as a badge of honor. like they're doing the world a favor. like staying sick or dying is better off for the patient. like the patient somehow doesn't "DESERVE" to be in good health. fat people DO deserve to be in good health. we DON'T have to "EARN" surgeries or life saving procedures. we are alive and human just like everyone else. this qualifies us for being cared for medically, no matter what. leave your prejudices at home. you can't just kill fat people because you don't like that we exist.
#cripple punk#crip punk#cpunk#chronically ill#chronic illness#chronically chill#our writing#fatphobia#fat liberation#fat lib#about us
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◟✿ Twst Housewardens as animals . . .ᐟᅟ
Synopsis . . .ᐟ basically the housewardens as your pets muhehehe also sorry if it's ooc for some of them I wrote this to get rid of my writers block 😭
notes . . .ᐟ i will finish all the homicipher rqs today trust me gang
characters . . .ᐟ riddle rosehearts,Leona kingscholar, idia shroud, malleus draconia, Azul ashengrotto, kalim al asim,vil schoenheit.
RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS as a munchkin cat -
riddle is a very sassy and picky kitty,only wanting to savour the finest quality of cat food and expected princess treatment from you,it's beloved owner ofcourse- always wanting your eyes and attention on him and only him otherwise he would knead at your belly painfully because how can such a cute cat like him can't have attention? He's can get grumpy too at times- hissing at you as you try to pet or hold him. Don't worry he's just having mood swings- or he's jelly over the fact he smelled other cat's nasty smell on you. How can you even think of petting other cat's when he's much cuter than him? Hmph! If he could talk he would definitely gave you a scolding and taunt with a "off with your head!", Other than that,he's a very obedient and calm kitty at most times who just wants your love and affection. Come on you can't say no to his big grey eyes,a pleading look on his face as he wants to be pet.
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR - a lion, obviously.
how the hell did you even managed to adopt him!? Who knows and who cares. What matters most is that Leona is a very lazy feline,a demanding one too- he's like riddle,wanting to be spoiled aswell while he's just sleeping 24/7! he's supposed to be a lion for crying out loud! Not a lazy cat! Anyways the good part is that he protects you from any danger,who would want to mess with someone who has a lion for a pet anyways ! He enjoys affection too,him resting in his bed that was made just for him as he enjoys you petting him,soft purrs leaving his mouth. Lions are just like cats but just bigger aren't they?
IDIA SHROUD - as a ragdoll cat
idia is a very shy and nervous kitty- who likes to be left alone at times. He has terrible separation anxiety too at that,poor baby. Idia loves getting affection from you- his blazing blue fur slowly turning into a light shade of pink as he leans into your touch- he always also monitored how you used your electronics, especially when you played games on your pc. He would be very interested and climb into your lap as he watched you play, being very concentrated.
VIL SCHOENHEIT as a bunny
Just like riddle and Leona,vil also demands princess treatment from you. For how ephemeral his beauty that's the least he deserves! a very judgemental bunny at that too. You know you look terrific when your bunny side eyed you,your makeup and outfit was well something else so can you blame him? He wishes he could talk so he would give Beauty advice and tips on how to become as pretty as him! He still loves you,as his owner no matter what though.
MALLEUS DRACONIA as a leopard gecko
malleus was a absolutely stunning pet for you- both looks wise and personality wise. the way he smiles at you when you hold him is too die for! he was so sweet too! Always rubbing it's face across your cheek as affection,his slitted pupils dilating as you pat him on his tiny head. Hes always sitting on the top of your head though,and it's hard to get him off.
AZUL ASHENGROTTO as a flapjack octopus
Azul would always stare at you from his big aquarium with his beady eyes,as you feed him and dipped your hand in the water to touch his head,he kinda flinched at first but leaned into your touch in no time,quickly getting used to it and demanded more. He just wishes he can plop out of the tank and crawl towards you to give you a hug for being such a good owner to him. He would literally beam when you said he was the cutest octopus in the entire universe!
KALIM AL- ASIM as a golden retriever
Kalim is the most brightest,most cuddly dog you have ever had! He was so fluffy too with his silky white mane. He would always follow you to everywhere possible - he cant help it! He's just wants to explore all the fun and adventurous places the world has to offer,with his amazing owner! He's a very curious one at that too,often analysing how things worked,also he loved when you walk him to his favourite park to meet his cobra friend- Jamil!
#disney twst#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland x you#twst x reader#twst x you#twst fluff#riddle rosehearts x reader#riddle rosehearts#riddle x reader#leona x reader#leona kingscholar#leona kingsholar x reader#idia shroud#twst idia#twisted wonderland idia#idia x reader#malleus draconia#twst malleus#twisted wonderland malleus#malleus x reader#vil schoenheit#vil x reader#kalim al asim#twst kalim#kalim x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul x reader#twst azul#vil twst
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Steve ends up heartbroken, lonely and depressed after season 2. Nancy called him bullshit, even after he ditched all his old friends for her. Billy Hargrove took his spot at the top of the food chain. He can have it, Steve doesn't really want it anymore. But Steve does want to find some sort of connection. Someone to have in his life who isn't an 11 year old kid he barely knows. He tries to go on a date one night, take a nice-seeming girl to a party. He wants to find connection, to kill the loneliness that's been building for months, but just as he's feeling kind of good about things, his date ditches him.
So. He decides to drink his feelings. He gets majorly fucked up, and ends up laying on the ground in the backyard, contemplating how much life seems to hate him.
Only to literally get tripped over by Eddie Munson, who was at this party selling pot and is very confused as to why Steve Harrington is alone on the ground with a bottle of vodka clenched in one hand.
Eddie ends up chatting a little with Steve, nothing substantial, but enough to know that Steve is very very drunk, and also very very sad.
He asks if Steve wants to go back to the party, and Steve staunchly refuses. He doesn't want to be around a bunch of annoyingly happy people.
He asks if Steve needs a ride home, and Steve just kind of shrugs. His parents just left for another trip, so home is kind of depressing right now too. But he doesn't exactly have any other friends he can stay with so. Home it'll have to be.
Only Eddie can *tell* he doesn't really want to go home, though he has no idea why Steve wouldn't want to return to his veritable mansion after a shitty night. The reason doesn't matter much. He offers to let Steve crash at his place. Steve can take the couch, or hell he can stay in Eddie's room if he doesn't mind sharing, that way he wouldn't risk being woken up when Wayne comes home that morning.
And well, Steve agrees. Can't think of any reason not too. Munson has been nice so far, he's got a good easy-going energy that Steve likes. Why not stay the night.
By the time they get to Eddie's, Steve is *slightly* more sober. Not much, but he's slurring his words a little less, and he can walk with only a little help.
Eddie grabs them each a little plate of leftovers, because he has no idea if Steve's eaten at all. It's quiet while they eat, Eddie doesn't push Steve to talk, and Steve isn't sure what to say. Eventually Eddie sets the plates aside and give Steve an easy grin.
"So, do you want the couch, or are you crashing with me?"
Steve thinks about it for a while. He hasn't shared a bed with a guy-friend since he was a kid, and he's heard rumors about Eddie, whispers in the hall about the way he looks at other guys. But...Steve can't really bring himself to care. He's tired, and he really doesn't want to be alone.
"I don't mind sharing."
Eddie sets them both up in his room, letting Steve choose which side of the bed he wants, and they both settle in. There's a respectable distance between the two of them, and Eddie says a quick goodnight to Steve, figures they won't talk and just go right to bed.
Except Steve isn't sober, and he really isn't in a good headspace, so he can't stop himself from blurting things out into the quiet of the dark room.
"Are you really gay?"
Eddie stiffens next to him, he can feel it, he can hear the way that the other boys breath cuts off and he seems to stop breathing all-together.
"It's okay if you are, I'm not going to be an asshole about it, I'm trying not to be that guy anymore. I guess I was just curious."
It's quiet for another beat before Eddie seems to loosen just a little. He starts breathing again at least.
"Yeah I uh- I am. Gay. And if that's weird the couch is still open, I can-"
"It's not weird."
"Okay."
Steve let's himself mull over this confirmation, and then his mouth starts moving again, without his permission.
"Is it lonely? Cause I mean, it's got to be hard to date in Hawkins. People here are shitty. Unless you've got like, a secret boyfriend or something."
"No...no secret boyfriend. It does get a little lonely sometimes. I'm lucky though, I've got my uncle, and my friends are pretty great. That's enough most days."
"What do you do when it's not enough?"
"Hmmm?"
"When your uncle and friends aren't enough, what do you do? To try and...make it better?"
Eddie is quiet again for a long stretch before he shrugs.
"I try to focus on something else. I'll play my guitar or work on a new campaign, read a book. Something to take my mind off it."
"Oh."
Now Steve is the one who seems tense, his jaw is tight and he's got his arms wrapped around himself. His next words come out as a whisper, but Eddie manages to catch them.
"I don't know how to do any of that."
He sounds almost choked, and Eddie is caught off guard. He's never seen Steve Harrington as anything other than solid, as happy. He's the king, after all. He's supposed to be all smiles and great hair. Only...Eddie's noticed that he hasn't hung out with his old friends lately, that he's eaten alone at lunch too many times to be anything other than strange.
"Steve...are you lonely?"
Eddie expects a denial, for Steve to laugh it off and tell Eddie that he's perfectly fine and fulfilled. Or maybe he expects a shrug, a non-answer. What he doesn't expect is the gut-wrenching sob that seems to tear past the other boys lips.
He doesn't expect to turn and see Steve Harrington's face, a scant foot from his, shining with tears.
He panics a little at the sight.
"Fuck- I'm so sorry-"
"Don't be." Steve tries to wipe his eyes, to hide the tremble in his voice. "Not your fault there's something wrong with me."
"What do you mean?"
"It's like I'm broken man, like nobody can stand to be around me. Tommy and Carol hate me now, Nancy- hell even my own parents hate being at home with me for more than a week. It's like I'm repellent or something. Couldn't even get a date to stick around for a whole night."
And Eddie's pretty sure *he* might start crying now. He'd never have expected this much from Steve, all that sadness to come pouring out. It wouldn't have happened if Steve was completely sober. Without thinking, he reaches out.
Eddie puts a hand on Steve's shoulder and waits to see if the touch gets rejected, but Steve seems to lean into him, so he lets his hand linger.
"This probably won't help, but I don't think you're repellent. And that's coming from somebody who your whole group used to torture. I don't know much about you, but I kind of liked having you around tonight."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Steve gives him a tiny smile. His eyes are still wet with tears, and the smile doesn't come close to reaching them. He seems impossibly small here in Eddie's bed.
"I don't know man. I just wish-"
He cuts himself off, apparently deciding his words are too far, but Eddie urges him to keep talking.
"What do you wish Steve?"
"I just wish that... there was somebody out there I could have a future with. Somebody who actually loved me, you know?"
It might be the saddest thing Eddie's ever heard, and he blames that fact for what he does next.
He takes his hand off Steve's shoulders and instead hauls Steve closer to him, fitting the other boy against his chest and wrapping his arms around him. It's a move that might get him decked, but he doesn't think it will. And he'll be damned if he doesn't hug Steve right that second.
He doesn't get hit. Steve tenses for a second, but it's just that one instant before he's melting into the embrace.
Eddie feels more tears falling against his shirt, and he couldn't care less. He keeps Steve close, let's him cry into his chest, runs a hand through that famous mop of hair.
He isn't sure how long it takes for Steve to calm down, but eventually he does. His breathing evens out, and he shivers a little before speaking.
"Thanks man."
And Eddie takes another leap of faith.
"I could be that person, you know."
"What?"
"I mean. You know Im... not straight. It may not be exactly what you're wanting but. I think I could picture a future with you. If you want to, just for tonight...I could be that someone who loves you."
Steve looks at Eddie, like he's a puzzle that he needs to solve, before a other shiver seems to wrack his body.
"Just for tonight?"
It comes out as a whisper, but Eddie hears it all the same.
"Yeah. For tonight Steve."
"I think...I think I'd like that."
Eddie gives him the sweetest smile he can muster, and nods.
"Alright sweetheart."
Eddie isn't exactly sure what it means, to love Steve for the night. After all, Steve is straight. He figures it doesn't matter much though, it's only for a night.
He keeps a hold on Steve, let's him get comfortable tucked against Eddie, and he does what feels natural. He runs a hand up and down Steve's spine, traces shapes into the soft fabric of his shirt. He tangles their legs together, and in a moment of insane bravery he presses a kiss to the top of Steve's head.
He's met with a sigh, full of relief, and figures he's on the right track.
"Just close your eyes Stevie, I've got you."
"Can you tell me about it?"
"Hmmm?"
"The future. You said you could see one. Can you tell me?"
And he asks so carefully, he sounds almost afraid, Eddie can't say no to that.
"Do you want the fantasy future, or the realistic future?"
"The real one."
"Alright then. Well, if I'm not going to be a rich and famous rockstar...I'll probably graduate and get a job somewhere in town. A real job, maybe working on cars or something. I'm good with cars. You'd come over all the time, have dinners with me and with Wayne. You'd have to meet Wayne. And we'd have more nights like this, sleeping close."
Steve let's out a pleased sounding hum, and shifts his face so it's buried even closer in Eddie's neck. He can feel Steve's breath on him.
"We could save up money and get a little place together, somewhere outside Hawkins. I have to stay kind of close, for my uncle, but maybe Indy?"
Steve nods, mutters something about staying close 'just in case'. He sounds like he might fall asleep, so Eddie keeps going.
"We could get an apartment, nothing too fancy. We would get two rooms, so nobody gets suspicious, but we would share a bed most nights. I'd play with my band on weekends, just for fun, and you'd join some little local sports team. I'd make sure to schedule DND nights so that I never miss a single game, even though I don't understand a damn thing about sports. We would come home for holidays, but most of the time it would just be us. I'd take good care of you, make sure you never go more than a few hours without me telling you I love you. I'll show up wherever you're working just to give you a hug and a kiss, and make sure you don't forget it. And I'll annoy the hell out of, but you won't mind too much, because I'll make you happy too."
Eddie can think of more. He can think about so many things. How he could give Steve one of his rings, even if they couldn't legally get married, even if Steve would never want that. Just as another reminder that he's loved. They could take trips together and go out to parties where Steve will never have to worry about getting ditched. Eddie doesn't do things halfway, and he has a hell of an imagination. He could picture them growing old together, if he tried, if he let himself. But this is just for tonight, so he doesn't. Instead he runs a hand through Steve's hair again, and listens to his quiet breathing. He thinks he may have fallen asleep, but he's wrong.
"That sounds nice."
It comes out muffled, spoken into Eddie's neck, but he manages to make it out, and he let's the vibration of it sink into his skin.
*It's only for tonight.*
He has to remind himself, because Steve is just feeling lonely. He doesn't want that future with Eddie, he just wants to feel loved.
But even if it's just pretend, just to help Steve for a few hours, he's okay with that.
Steve may think he's broken, but Eddie thinks he would be easy to love for a long time. Loving him for one night is nothing. He doesn't even have to try.
Tomorrow Steve will wake up sober, and he'll thank Eddie for letting him stay over, and they won't talk about it. Eddie will drive Steve back to his car in silence, and they'll say their goodbyes. They may not talk ever again, they never had before.
But for tonight? Eddie Munson will love Steve Harrington, and Steve? He'll let himself be loved, let himself beleive it. And he'll love Eddie right back.
Just for one night.
And if Steve ever needs it again? Eddie will love him for another night. And Steve will give that love right back. He's got plenty to spare, after all. And there's far worse people he could share it with.
#steddie#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve harrington whump#steve is sad#eddie helps#pre-season 4#this takes place between seasons 2 and 3#I wrote this in a fit of insanity while I was supposed to be working#hope yall like it
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the fact that they're not here makes me& go feral !!!!
#& i& litcherally fucking hate it#i& hate this fuckin' feeling sm !!!!!!!#& not even in a weird way but like#''damn i miss my b.est f.riend p.artner in c.rime & l.over & how we were b4 u betrayed me theres so much shit i wanna talk to u about!!!!''#& its like holy shit i& cant stand feeling this way?? especially knowing its possible that i& might never see them again?? fuck !!!!#im& not like this at all for literally anybody else & its literally so fucking annoying !!!!!#its been years why cant i& just fucking get over it & forget about them & move on already !!!!! im& tired !!!!!!!#& literally no matter how hard i& try i& can't get over them no matter what i& do. ive& accepted it long ago—i& l.ove them unconditionally.#& its like they unintentionally trigger all my& past wounds to make me& better bc i&k they're not a bad person but still.#idk i& just wish them the best in everything they do despite it all. im& just Yearning™#while also going fucking f.eral !!!!!!#arcana.vents#will i& delete this?? maybe who knows#@ /nbh btw#( mobile. )#tbd.
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hugs in secret - yoon jeonghan
genre: fluff, secret relationship | wc: 670 | warnings: mentions of being drunk? | secret bf!jeonghan x reader a/n: i love long-haired jeonghan BUT short-haired jeonghan... oh my lord... this is also a bit rushed, hopefully, it's not too noticeable!
whoever gave soonyoung the mic, he sure as hell isn't singing. instead, he's shouting at seungkwan through the booming speakers for whatever reason that there may be—most likely about something petty.
if you were drunk too, you'd be just as indulged as they were. but someone is making it hard to even care what's going on in the karaoke room. and if anyone else in the room was sober, they'd be able to see the literal hearts in his eyes.
jeonghan sits across from you, grinning as the lively scene of the two other men unfolds. no matter how much you motion for him to stop looking at you like he is, his stare somehow makes you feel more shy.
of course, jeonghan knows exactly what he's doing. he doesn't miss the subtle nervousness you try to hide from the others—if anything, he's enjoying the thrill of anyone who could become suspecting of the two of you.
you can feel his eyes on you as you get up when you decide it's time to leave. you take a breath before walking over to the food bar where you pack some leftovers for the next day.
jeonghan raises his brow at your sudden leave, rising from his seat to follow from behind.
"leaving so soon?" his voice soft, almost teasing.
you glance over your shoulder, snapping the lid on the container. "well, i have to go in early tomorrow. can't be too exhausted."
"but you're gonna miss the most memorable part of this," he chuckles, referring to soonyoung and seungkwan dispute.
you scoff, shaking your head. "and then, i'll miss my hearing if i stay any longer,"
jeonghan's lips crack a smile as he leans in closer to you. his hands find their way to the small of your back. he pulls you gently towards him in a comforting manner but enough to make your breath hitch.
"jeonghan," you whisper, eyes darting around the room but doing nothing to stop him. "someone might see..."
but you know no one's paying attention to what you and jeonghan are doing, yet the thought of confrontation at the moment did not sound fun while everyone was wasted.
"you're really gonna leave me?" he pouts, putting his chin on your shoulder. "leave me here with our drunk friends?"
your eyes sided at jeonghan. "you can leave too, hannie,"
"well, someone has to drive them home," he whines, nuzzling closer.
you roll your eyes, unable to stop the smile that tugs at your lips. "well, aren't you such a good friend?"
"yeah..." he mumbles, arms now fully wrapped around you. "am i able to see you after work, though?"
you tilt your head to look up at jeonghan, returning the hug. "could you come over to my place as well?"
jeonghan's grin is boyish, his eyes lighting up. "it'd be my pleasure, angel,"
you sort of cringed at the nickname, but regardless, you loved it when he called you such. removing yourself from his arms, you head to the exit while giving him a playful smile. "see you then, jeonghan,"
before stepping out of the room, you feel a grip on your arm, slightly pulling you back. jeonghan stops you from exiting completely, still wanting you to stay with him longer.
with a low voice, he bends down to your level. "just one more hug before you leave?" his eyes are begging. "please?"
now you grin at jeonghan. "clingy, much?" but you embrace him anyway, hugging him closely.
his tone becomes sassy, yet he gives in. "yeah, well, you make it impossible to not be,"
the moment couldn't feel more perfect, but soonyoung's voice cuts through the air—through the very loud speakers, startling the both of you. "group hug!"
before you know it, soonyoung has his arms wrapped around the two of you, squeezing your bodies tight. you couldn't help but laugh while being squashed between the two men. jeonghan groans at him, but his grip on you doesn't loosen.
jeonghan must really love hugging you, you figured.
#정한#nonushu.drabble#jeonghan x reader#seventeen x reader#jeonghan x you#seventeen x you#jeonghan x y/n#seventeen x y/n#jeonghan imagines#seventeen imagines#jeonghan fluff#jeonghan fanfic#seventeen fluff#seventeen fanfic#jeonghan#seventeen#nonushu.works
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You're ridiculous, you know | James Potter
Pairing: James Potter x fem!Reader
Word Count: 4.0k
Summary: Part one Masterlist
James sees you in a new light and wants to try to change the way you see him too, moment by moment. He is trying to win you over but understands that you're having a hard time believing that he's genuine about his feeling because of his sudden switch of focus from Lily to you (even though it gave him whiplash as well, but I guess he just accepted it faster.)
Notes: Best friend!James, he's less stupid, Lily is a sweet friend, fluff, pining, misunderstandings, (best) friends to lovers I guess, spelling mistakes probably because I typed this out on my phone.
______________________
With the hatch buried between you and James, you felt like you could finally properly breathe again. James had apologized again, of course and told you that he supported your new style.
Trying to balance your two friends groups however, did prove to be much more difficult than you thought. Neither of the two seemed very entertained by the thought of hanging out together as one group. Besides, James had become rather clingy as well, becoming his very own one man group to balance hanging out with.
"I now have abandonment fears," he jokingly defended when you raised your eyebrows at his arm, wrapped around your waist instead of your shoulder like usual while you two were walking down the open court yard.
"Right," you replied, seemingly not very impressed. You knew what he was trying to do, especially after your rejection. After all, save from Lily, he'd never actually been rejected. You assumed that this too, was a matter of pride. "You have nothing to prove you know," you told him and he merely hummed in reply.
"And anyway, you'll have to let me go now because my mum sent over some dresses for me. I'm planning on trying them on with the girls."
The grip on your waist tightened.
"No," he pleaded, "Don't leave me." He dramatically leaned his entire weight on you, dragging you down as well. Was he always this heavy? You incredulously thought.
"James, you'll make us both fall! Get up you're-"
"The earth is dragging me down. I can't help it, Love," he said in a playful, strained voice.
"Unless you want to spend the afternoon giving your opinion on dresses, I suggest you fight back against the earth, oh brave Gryffindor." You retorted, amusement clear in your voice.
James immediately straightened up. "Sure, I'll review your dresses," he happily replied.
‘Well’, you contemplated. You supposed it’s not as if you've never gotten dressed around eachother.”
Your mum had been very delighted at the news that she could go ahead and send over a dress through the mail. She went a tad bit overboard though, you thought as you looked at the heap of clothes on your bed.
James was sitting next to the said heap, waiting patiently for you to get changed in the bathroom. A pit formed in his stomach at the thought that he'd made things weird enough for you to want to get dressed in the bathroom. 'I mean, you've seen eachother naked before?' He thought. Not that he was aiming to see you naked of course.
His hands weaved through the beautiful clothes. He was sure they'd all look splendid on you. Would you go with him to the Yule Ball? His heart clenched. Probably not. You rejected a date with him to Hogsmeade. No way were you going to accept going to the ball together.
James stared out of the window, a lost feeling washing over him. How could he turn this around? Would you ever look at him that way?
The door opened and James' breath stopped, literally. It was simply perfect.
Mesmerizing, he thought.
'Merlin this was only the very first dress, how would his heart survive the dozen other dresses? You looked radiant. Like actually radiant. The dress made you glow with beauty and confidence. The color was what he could only describe as your color and made you look like bloody royalty.' He knew his opinion was biased, but it was still the truth, he thought.
And so his mind started racing. You were going to go to the ball, looking like that, with a date who was someone else. Jealousy flared up at the thought. He had to internally slap himself to shake him out of it.
You had taken his long silence as a negative opinion and quickly brought your arms to fold over your middle, covering yourself. "Not this one then?" You asked.
"No. I-I mean yes, sorry. I was distracted."
You felt slight disappointment at his words. Another sinking feeling in your stomach, but you reasoned with yourself that he just wasn’t used to doing this sort of activity with you. "You don't have to do this you know." You gently said and sat down next to him.
"Do you have a date to the ball?" He blurted out in response.
You were taken aback by the change of subject but shrugged. "There's been a few people who’ve asked, but I don't know. I've never talked to them before and it feels a little superficial that they only now would ask me out, just because they noticed I look and dress differently."
James could feel his heart plummet even lower if that was possible. Did you think that about him as well? You wouldn't be wrong of course. He'd only started to view you in a different light when you decided to go for a different style, and stopped only hanging out with the marauders after all. Guilt started to weigh his mind.
"Are you going to ask Lily out?" You tentatively asked.
"Of course," he automatically responded, without having processed the question. Your face fell a little. A confirmation, you thought. You were right. Maybe you'd have to accept one of the student' proposals for the Yule Ball after all.
James’ eyes widened and he quickly averted his eyes when you unzipped your dress right next to him. "The bathroom?!" He sqeaked out in panic.
You put on a grin. "Well, you look like you're bored and me taking my time in the bathroom will take too long. I guess I could just very quickly change here. Besides, you've seen me naked before."
James was somehow feeling more hurt at the prospect of you getting changed in front of him, than hiding in the bathroom. It meant that you really only saw him as a friend, he sighed.
You on the other hand, decided that you were hellbent on refusing to let your dynamic with James change because of unrequited feelings.
James was lying on his bed, wide awake. He couldn't sleep, mind wandering off to you, and he rolled around in frustration at himself and yelled into his pillow. Ashamed, he looked around if the he'daccidentally woken anyone up. He didn't.
He was restless. None of his subtle advances had apparently been noticed by you. And if they had, then you'd blatantly ignored them. James wasn't sure which option he liked better.
Tears of frustration and misery welled up in his eyes. He'd seen you get asked out by three different people today, and every time, his heart would stop, scared that you'd say yes.
The past few days, his eyes couldn't leave your figure as you went off to hang out with Lily, and he cursed himself for never having noticed you, too focused on Lily. He groaned and turned around again in his bed. "You're the perfect best friend," is what you had told him this morning when he had saved you from an awkward conversation with a seventh year Ravenclaw. His stomach had dropped.
'But you agreed to hang out with just him,' he kept telling himself in reassurance. Tomorrow was finally weekend and an off day which meant it was time for your not-date. At the thought, his heart lightened, and he managed to finally fall asleep.
You really weren't complaining at all. If anything you couldn't help your body from completely leaning into James who had once again wrapped his arms around your waist. Arms that were firmly holding on to you as if to not let you leave his side.
A week had passed since he asked you out on a date, and you and James were finally off to Hogsmeade together, your own heart both seering, as well as clenching at the thought that this was merely considered 'hanging out'.
Yes, you'd very much wanted it to be a date. Exactly like James had described it. Just the two of you, together on a date, which in a way was kind of what you were doing right now, even if you denied calling it that.
And if you weren't absolutely sure that you were setting yourself up for disappointment and heartbreak at the prospect of not working out because of his feelings for Lily, you would've definitely agreed with the biggest grin on your face.
But you were sure that that's what you'd be setting yourself up for. And having conflict avoiding tendencies had you make rational decisions such as then. Besides, the fact that he was going to ask Lily out to the Yule Ball confirmed that you had made the right decision.
'Could've been a date though', your mind seemed to whisper, and you grimaced. 'And then what,' you thought. 'Even if he settles for me, it would just be unfair for both of us. He never gets to be truly happy and I never get to be truly loved.' You scoffed.
"You okay, Love?" James shook you out of your train of thoughts, a concerned look on his face and he slowed his pace to a stop to properly look at you. His hands found their way to the sides of your face, his eyes searching yours.
You turned your head to the left and stuck out your tongue. He jerked away in surprise with a loud laugh. "That's foul!" He yelled. He was about to wipe his hand on his trousers when he stopped and then looked contemplatively from his hand to you and back.
Your grin was wiped off your face at the sight of the mischievous twinkle in his eyes and wasted no time to sprint off.
"You keep that hand to yourself Potter!" You shouted with a laugh.
"Absolutely not, you get back here!"
"This is a new dress, no way I'm letting you wipe your hand on it!" You quickly shot back and looked behind you to see him quickly catching up on you.
You watched with a face of disdain as he calmly wiped his hands with your sleeves, holding you in a headlock. "So unfair", you muttered.
James childishly stuck his tongue out and released you from his grasp.
It had you tumbling to the ground. "Hey!"
"Alright truce?" He asked and he stuck his hand out, both to seal the deal as well as help you up.
When you moved to shake his hand, he smirked. 'Oh so naive. You should know better.'
You noticed the trap far too late and weren't able to pull your hand back fast enough-
"James! Now that's foul!" You shrieked at his wet hand. Undoubtedly, because he'd spit in it moments before.
James was doubling over in laughter, and you took the opportunity to wipe your hands on his sweater. He let you.
“You’re ridiculous you know,” you shook your head.
“And you not at all,” he grinned. James wrapped his arms securely around your waist again, and you continued to head to Hogsmeade.
James looked at you from the bar counter. He was waiting for the drinks he ordered and admired you from afar. You were already sitting at a table in the corner for two and were munching on some snacks you had fished out of your bag, waving at him with a warm smile when you caught his gaze.
Sure, up until recently, he’d always seen you as the cool best friend that he could share everything with, tackle to the ground, tell gross jokes to, or get shirtless around when changing clothes. He was used to not at all treating you differently than Sirius, Remus or Peter, because in his eyes, you belonged to the same category.
But now, even though James also absolutely didn’t want your dynamic to change, he was conflicted because he finally saw you in a different light. He just had to try and make you see him in a different light as well.
The bartender gave him his drinks and he walked over to you with a grin. “Pick one,” he told you, still standing next to you and holding the mugs behind his back.
“Left,” you chose without hesitation. He put the mug in front of you and you looked suspiciously in the mug. At the sight of the green liquid you squinted your eyes at him. He put his own mug down and you leaned over the table to peer into it as well. Blue.
“Are you trying to poison us both?”
James snorted and sat down in front of you, “You got me.”
You kicked his leg under the table and he pretended to be in excruciating pain. “You wound me, Love,” He groaned exaggeratedly, all the way slouched down his chair and gripping his leg to sell his point.
“Want me to kiss it better?”, you teased and then immediately awkwardly paused. See this would’ve been a normal thing to say if you said this a month ago, but now it just made things weird. James however was grinning from ear to ear, absolutely soaking in the thought and cheekily replied, “Oh, darling, you must.”
‘Alright cheeky bastard’, you thought. Shaking your head with a chuckle, you moved your chair back and ducked under the table. James' eyes widened in shock, especially when you grabbed his leg.
“Drinking all by yourself?” Frank’s voice had both of you freeze up.
You moved to get up from your crouched position, planning on using a fallen hair tie as an excuse when James blurted out a different excuse. “No, just waiting for Y/N, she went to the bathroom.” You groaned and hit your head repeatedly against James’ knee.
Great, now it would be weird if you just crawled out from under the table.
“Y/N? I was actually looking for her, I mean we’re partners for potions class. You know what, I’ll just wait with you then.”
‘No!” James said, a little too loud, before he could help himself. He cleared his throat. “I mean uh,” James leaned in towards Frank and quietly, as if he was telling a secret, gleefully added, “We’re actually on a date.”
You playfully slapped his leg in a scolding manner.
Frank immediately seemed to get it and wished him good luck before leaving the table.
You scrambled out quickly and when your eyes met, you both burst out in laughter.
Despite your fear that dynamics would change and your resolve that you wouldn't allow it, you didn't mind the change so much if this was how it was going to be from now on, you thought to yourself. James had dramatically thrown himself half on top of you, head buried right under your breasts.
"Rough Quidditch practice", he'd mumbled before collapsing and absolutely melting like snow for the sun into you when you weaved your fingers through his curly locks, the other hand rubbing at the nape of his neck.
When you had tried to pull your hands away to retrieve your book from the bag next to you to pass the time while James seemed passed out, James had whined in protest, grabbing your hands and placing them back on his head.
"Prongs," you tried after a long time but received no answer. you lifted your hands from his head again and finally got a grumbled "What."
"Supper,' you softly spoke.
"Five more minutes, please?"
As if you could deny that request. After another few 'five more minutes' you finally gently pushed him off, both of you sitting up. He looked around, dazed, his eyes drooping and hair messy.
You entered the great hall with James trailing behind you, holding your hand. Peter spotted you and waved you over. James squished himself between Sirius and you, ignoring the other spot front of you that the marauders had saved for him.
"Blimey Y/N, what have you done with Prongs?!" Sirius asked, a horriefied expression adorning his face when James lazily rested his face in your neck. You laughed at his antics and shrugged, getting complaints from James at your movements.
Remus handed you two plates of food. "We saved these for you two."
"Thanks Moony," you gratefully accepted them and poked James with a fork. "Eat, you big baby," you said and pushed the fork in his hand. James internally groaned. But he was so comfortable like this. Why couldn't he just stay like this forever? He reluctantly sat up straight and started eating. He was hungry after all.
"Hey Potter, mind if we steal Y/N for a second?"
"Go away McKinnon," he was quick to respond and stuck out his tongue pettily. "She stays with me, you already had her the entire day."
You amusedly watched them banter. "I think you'll find that I will choose myself where I go, Prongs." And got up from your seat, moving down the long table to sit next to Lily.
"So what the hell was that Prongs?" Sirius inquired as soon as you were out of hearing range. Peter and Remus curiously looked at him.
"Oh, did I forget to tell you guys that I fancy Y/N?"
"Yeah that too, even if it was absolutely obvious," Peter shrugged.
Remus laughed at James' gaping expression. "What Padfoot meant was are you guys like a thing now? Like did we miss something? I thought you said she kinda rejected a date with you?"
James sighed dejectedly. "Yeah, she did." He straightened up again. But I'm working on it though."
Lily nudged you. "So I don't know if I should thank you or pity you."
"Huh?"
"I mean, thank you for getting James to stop pursuing me, but I'm sorry you have to deal with him now," she laughed.
Marlene wiggled her eyebrows at you. "Unless you don't mind having to deal with him of course," she smirked. "You looked pretty comfy," she added.
Alice nodded her head in agreement. "Frank told me you two went on a date last week apparently."
Your friends gasped dramatically and you were quick to deny it. "No, James just said that so Frank would leave us alone," you said and swatted Dorcas when she suggestively wiggled her eyebrows at you. "Ugh, you guys, be nice to me," you complained while laughing. "We're just friends hanging out, besides he still likes you Lils, look he's still staring at you," you said that last part with a sigh.
Lily raised her eyebrows. "Not at me, he's not." She nudged you again. "Look," she urged you.
You turned your head to look at James and your eyes met. He couldn't help but wink and felt very victorious when you looked away flusteredly, a big smile on your face.
'Could it be?'
Over the course of the next few weeks, James and you had gotten a lot closer. By now, you and James walked through the hallways, his hand always touching you somehow, whether he was holding yours, had his arm slung around your shoulders, waist, or lower back.
You also found yourself hanging around the boys dormitory alone with James more often than ever before. You were laying horizontally across his bed, your head hanging off the side of the bed. James went to the bathroom and you were passing the time.
You kept sliding forward bit by bit and when you were hanging low enough to look under James' bed, a brilliant plan to jumpscare him popped up in your brain. Perfect. You quickly moved to hide under his bed. Your hands ready to grab his ankles when he returned.
The door opened and you held your breath in anticipation. You peeked from underneath the drapes, covering your body and saw him look around surprisedly before a mischievous grin appeared on his face.
He called out your name to be certain and when you didn't respond, he pumped his fist excitedly and hurried to hide inside the wardrobe on the other side of the room, undoubtedly having the same idea as you and you couldn't suppress your laugh anymore. You rolled out from under the bed grinning like an idiot.
James joined you on the floor, although he did seem a little bit bummed out that he hadn't been able to prank you. "I guess genius recognizes genius," he admitted with a laugh.
"I have to go to the library to study," you bit your lip while you said it. Disappointed at the thought of breaking the peace.
James turned his head and looked over at you. You were so close. For a moment, he closed his eyes, relishing in the moment of having you within arms reach like that.
When he reopened his eyes, they flickered over your face and rested a little longer on your lips. It wouldn't take more than him leaning in to easily capture your lips and it took everything in him not to. It almost pained him literally. You turned your head towards James due to the lack of response, checking if everything was alright and if he had heard you when you said you needed to go.
"You're mesmerizing," he whispered softly, the words always on the back of his mind since he saw you in the first dress. You chuckled at that. "Using big words now, huh," you whispered back teasingly, a fond expression on your face.
"No, really."
Those two words left you speechless in surprise. You don't know what it was. Perhaps the sincerity on his face or in his tone. Perhaps the way he emphasized that he really meant it. Or maybe even the way he was looking at you right then.
Whatever it was, it made you throw your reservations and resolve straight out of the window.
Rational decisions were the last thing on your mind when your eyes locked with James' and then you were both leaning in, meeting each other halfway in a soft, fleeting kiss.
"I think you're mesmerizing as well," You murmured against his lips and you could feel them curl up in a smile.
"You're such an arsehole," you laughed, slapping his ice cold hands away. You ended up not going to the library to study. After all, who needs studying anyway? Instead you and James had curled up against each other on his bed, entangled together and James decided to slide his freezing hands under your shirt, resting on your stomach.
"No, I'm mesmerizing," he huffed and attempted to warm his hands again.
"Did you even wash your hands when you returned from the bathroom?"
There was a long pause and you stared up at him incredulously. "James Potter! You are disgusting," you exclaimed.
“Oh don’t tell me you’ve never forgotten to wash your hands after going to the toilet!”
“Yeah, but I don’t have to hold the- the thing.”
James laughed loudly.
“You suck,” you huffed.
He held his hands up in mock surrender. "I can't be that bad, I won you over in less than a month," he wore a triumphant smile on his face and you wanted nothing more than to smack it off. You didn't of course, and instead buried your face in his neck in embarrassment while grumbling about arrogance. You two hadn't really talked about the kiss that happened 10 minutes prior.
Absolutely refusing to let you pull back mentally and physically, James had been quick to mention how uncomfortable your position on the floor really was, and he proposed to lay down on his bed instead where he changed the topic while still getting comfortable with you. It was his way of letting you know that he wasn't trying to skim over the fact that you kissed or ignore the fact that it happened, but rather that he wanted to ease the tension by doing so.
You were relieved and thankful for him, knowing that that tension would have absolutely made things too awkward for you, and that you would've definitely fled from the room in denial.
"I think I fancy you, James," you eventually quietly admitted to him, your voice muffled as your face was still hidden away.
His grip on you tightened and he pulled you even closer, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Yeah?" he breathed out, his heart soaring.
"Yeah."
"I fancy you too, Love." And with that you tilted your head up far enough to place your lips in a firm kiss right under his jaw.
There was another comfortable silence and then, "So, how about a proper date. You and me, us, together." He quickly clarified the last part.
You laughed out loud. "Yes please, Hogsmeade?"
"Actually, I was thinking maybe the Yule Ball."
#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x reader#james potter imagine#james potter x you#james potter x y/n#james potter#james potter fanfic#james potter fic#james potter fluff#james potter angst#jmarauders era#marauders#marauders fanfic
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I've seen a lot of really excellent analysis on Charles' reaction to Edwin's confession, but there's a huge aspect that I haven't seen talked about at all yet. And that is, namely:
Charles Rowland is a people-pleaser.
Doesn't seem like there's a connection there, does it? Have a seat, my friends. Let me break this down.
The show lays the groundwork for this aspect of Charles' personality early. It's one of the very first things we learn about him, in fact. He's kind and agreeable and helpful, and he's always, always smiling. When Crystal insults him, he laughs it off. When Crystal and Edwin fight, he scrambles to diffuse the situation. He calls himself "a good sort of a chap," and it's important to him that he is.
In episode 3, we find out why. At home, love was always conditional for him. He spent his entire life trying to please his father, and he confesses to Crystal that no matter how nice he was, or how good at sports, it was never enough. That's how Charles sees the world. If he can make people happy, he might actually be good enough for them to love him.
Not only didn't he earn his father's affection, he didn't even manage, in his own eyes, to clear the low bar of being good enough to earn the privilege of not being hurt. And his mother, he says, was "quiet." From the flashback we see, she never stepped in for him or defended him. However hard he was trying, it wasn't enough to get her to intervene on his behalf.
So who else does he have? His "friends"? The ones who literally murder him when he steps in to stop them from doing a terrible thing? The act he put on wasn't enough to win them over in the end, either. However friendly he was, however personable, they turned on him and left him for dead.
Then he meets Edwin.
And when he meets Edwin, he's at his absolute lowest. He's not smiling and putting on a show, for once. He's in a corner of an attic cowering while he slowly freezes to death. But here comes Edwin, offering him kindness, and company, and comfort.
All these things that Charles has spent his whole life chasing, trying to be good enough to earn? Edwin just gives them to him.
Of course he stays with this boy. Edwin is there when he's lost in the dark, shining a light to guide the way. Edwin has seen him unsmiling and afraid, not a shred of his usual act in place, and Edwin has offered him kindness anyway.
So they begin their time together. And what are the things Charles will pick up on almost immediately?
Edwin says right away that he's spent ages in hell. He's plainly had an awful time. He doesn't know how to handle people anymore, but Charles, he knows how to be amiable, how to smile, how to offer levity when things get grim.
So he does. He falls back into what he thinks Edwin needs, the way he always tried to be what his father wanted to see. In the very first episode, he tells Crystal, "I try to be extra happy for all of us, don't I? And I do a pretty good job."
He doesn't ever discuss his own trauma because these boys are terrible at communication, but more than that. He doesn't ever bring it up because he's busy being the support he thinks Edwin needs.
And importantly, Charles doesn't have the self-reflection skills to realize that's what he's doing. Crystal clocks him with shocking accuracy, three episodes in. "He's been hiding it from you," she tells Edwin. "Probably been hiding it from himself." She's spot-on here: when Charles doesn't want to examine his own emotions, or can't face them, he shoves them down under a smile and he carries on pretending.
But that's not the only thing Charles will have picked up on from Edwin.
It's blindingly obvious that Edwin is bad at people. He's terribly repressed. He's from a culture in which emotional honesty and physical affection were not valued or encouraged. But more than any of that, Edwin has his sexual awakening during the events of the show. Before then, he is absolutely clueless about his own wants.
So we have a situation where a consummate people-pleaser who has spent his entire life learning that he has to earn affection finds his way into a friendship with the first person who ever saw him with his mask down and gave him kindness anyway.
Of course he stays with this boy. Of course he wants to keep this.
And what's the best way Charles knows to win someone over? Well, by being what he thinks they want.
So, out come the smiles, for Edwin's sake as much as his own. But more importantly, out comes whatever Charles thinks he needs to perform, in order to keep what is the single most important relationship in his entire life and afterlife.
At this point, Edwin has shown zero romantic or sexual interest, not just in Charles, but in anyone at all. He doesn't especially seem inclined to dating, or to romance, or even to physical affection.
So Charles takes his cues from Edwin, and the cues are very firmly, for thirty years: this boy doesn't have a glimmer of interest in him, not that way.
Fast-forward to the events of the show. Fast-forward to a staircase in hell, where they are being chased by a literal demon. Suddenly his best mate, who he has spent thirty years with, who is his most important person in the world, is saying that he's in love with him.
Of course he needs a minute. Of course he has to sort that through. Any feelings he has for Edwin are things that he has spent literal decades firmly ignoring in the scramble to try and earn affection by being what he thinks Edwin needs him to be.
Because Charles is a people-pleaser at heart. And he may be dreadful at self-reflection, but he is aces at hiding things from himself.
#dead boy detectives#payneland#edwin payne#charles rowland#edwin x charles#dbda#dbda spoilers#meta commentary
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In defense of a "Wicked Stepmother":
Sarah's Stepmother in "Labyrinth", named Irene in tie-in media, only gets about a minute of screen time before Sarah rushes off to her room in a soaked snit. Fanfic writers usually turn her into an evil bitch and even the manga sequel, "Return to Labyrinth", has her cold and abusive to Toby, her biological child. But here's the thing...
I think Sarah's mother gets a bum rap.
Dressing nicely for an evening out and having mild conflict with a teenager does not a Lady Tremaine make. And as someone who actually lived with a narcissistic, manipulative, emotionally abusive stepfather, I can tell you that Irene doesn't even come close to wicked step parent territory.
Backstory first. It's never spoken of in the film, but clues in Sarah's room tell us that her real mother is a stage actress who abandoned her and her father for another actor. Sarah idolizes her mother and tries to emulate her with play acting. Sarah's father met and married Irene sometime after Linda ran off, and Sarah, who thinks her mom walks on water, resents the hell out of Irene for taking her place. A place that Linda abandoned for another man.
She couldn't help it. He looked like David Bowie.
Let's look at her first alledged transgression. She won't let Merlin into the house. Instead she orders him into the garage. Heartless, we assume because we all love dogs and only the most soulless of monsters don't. But slow down. She didn't leave him out in the rain. She put him in the garage. Furthermore, Merlin is an Old English Sheepdog. Is he a nice dog? Sure, but he's also a breed that's notorious for being high maintenance and hard to keep clean and right now he's soaking wet and filthy. Irene isn't being cruel, she's trying to keep him from ruining the carpet.
So now Sarah and Irene are in the house about to have their confrontation. "Sarah, you're an hour late..."
Sarah lost track of time. Sarah is the one who screwed up. Irene has every right to be frustrated. For all we know, she and Robert were supposed to see a movie or meet someone and Sarah's tardiness wrecks their plans. Note, please, that while she is frustrated, she's not even yelling. My mom would have screamed bloody murder and then held it over my head for weeks.
"Your father and I go out very rarely..."
"You go out every single weekend!"
There is no way to confirm who is right on this. I will say Sarah is the one prone to hysterics and exaggeration, so it's not looking good for her.
"And I ask you to babysit only if it won't interfere with your plans."
I ask. Irene asks. She doesn't demand, and she doesn't expect Sarah to give up her previous plans.
"Well how would you know what my plans are? You don't even ask me anymore!"
Sarah, you were LARPing in a park by yourself. Furthermore, with the storm you would have gone home anyway.
"Well I assume you would tell me if you had a date. I'd like it if you had a date. You should have dates at your age."
Irene doesn't want Sarah to be a Cinderella stuck at home every night. She wants her to go out and have a social life. This is literally the opposite of the bedtime story Sarah tells Toby later.
Also, "I'd assume you tell me..." Irene might not be wording it in the best way here, but she wants Sarah to communicate with her. She wants them to have a relationship.
Then Robert enters the scene. "Sarah, you're home. We were worried about you."
WE were worried. As in both he and Irene. You think that's the reason she was waiting on the porch? Because their sixteen year old daughter is an hour past when she said she'd be home and now it's raining and getting dark?
It's not like she'd ever talk to a stranger.
Sarah runs up the stairs in a snit, not even acknowledging her father and leaving Irene dismayed. "She treats me like a wicked stepmother in a fairy story no matter what I say." Her voice isn't angry, it's hurt. She's making an effort to reach Sarah, but nothings working. She can't break through the tantrums and the anger and the hero worship of Linda.
Sarah is a fantasy junkie. It's all over her room. Her books are all fairy tales. Her dog and her teddy bear are named after figures from Arthurian legend. But she's wrapped herself in a different kind of fantasy, a toxic one. One where Irene, well meaning and kind, is one of the evil stepmothers from her fairytale books, while Linda is good and virtuous like one of the dead moms at the beginning. Except Linda isn't dead. She's shtupping a costar.
Part of Sarah's coming of age and maturity is rejecting Jareth, the stand in for her mother's lover and therefore finally rejecting following her mother's selfish path. We see her finally let go of Linda by putting her picture and clippings in the drawer. Hopefully, the next morning, after she picks the confetti out of her hair, she'll finally be able to start over with Irene.
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As a follow up to you post about mentors, just to make things fair, what are examples of Tikki being a bad mentor to Marinette?
Post in question for context.
Tikki often acts as the voice of the author. She's there to explain why Marinette is in the wrong. Since Miraculous has some wacky morals, that means we get a mix of good advice and wacky nonsense advice.
Two examples of bad advice that come to mind are Gamer and Strikeback. Gamer is the episode where Marinette stumbles upon an Ultimate Mecha Strike tournament, realizes that Adrien is taking part, and decides to compete so they can be on a team together. Marinette wins a spot through her own hard won skills and then this happens:
Tikki: All you wanted to do is spend time with Adrien, there are other ways to do that! Marinette: What are you getting at? Tikki: You know how much Max wanted to be in that tournament. Kim said he'd been training for it all year. Marinette: You're right. All I could think about was Adrien.
This is how tournaments work, right? They're not tests of skill, but tests of who put in the most work or who wants to compete the most! That's why we had that scene with Marinette writing out her training schedule and motivations for evaluation, but she lied and that was wrong and...
Okay, I was the one lying here. There was no written evaluation because that's not how tournaments work. All anyone cares about is your skills. They don't care if you're doing this for personal glory or to get closer to a boy or whatever Adrien's motivation was because - notably - his motivation didn't matter in this episode about needing pure motives to be allowed to do things.
What if he didn't care about the competition and only did it to get closer to his classmates? That's not even a random guess. It's a valid read because Adrien ultimately gives his spot to Max while claiming that Max is the better player even though Adrien very clearly beat Max at the start of the episode. Ignoring that weird nonsense dialogue, why was it fine for Adrien to compete when he didn't care but wrong for Marinette to do the same? And Max wanting to compete to show off his skills is also a totally selfish motivation, so why does it matter that he wanted it more? Everything about this episode was nonsense and uncomfortably sexist. If Max wants to compete, then he needs to get better at the game. That's how competitions work.
Strikeback is the second part of the season four final and it starts with Marinette mourning the fact that "Adrien" has left Paris, leading to this:
Marinette: (crestfallen) It's all over, Tikki. Tikki: He'll be back, Marinette. He's just going on a voyage!
Which would be lovely advice if Adrien was a normal boy, but he's Chat Noir and Tikki knows that. She should be freaking out and trying to find a way to get him back to Paris, but then Tikki would have to support Marinette's actions and we can't have that, so instead Tikki gives this nonsense advice because she has to be against whatever "wrong" thing Marinette is doing today.
I could come up with a few more examples, but I think those two paint a pretty good picture of issue one re Tikki. However, when it comes to Tikki, my main issue with her is less a wealth of bad advice - unlike Plagg*, I think she's right more often than not - and more a lack of support. It feels like she's just here to judge Marinette and point out when she's doing something wrong, but a good mentor should be so much more than that.
Kuro Neko is a great example of this. When Chat Noir quits, Tikki just sits back and does nothing while her young charge is freaking out. She doesn't even try to defend Marinette when Plagg is going off about Chat Noir's "ill treatment". For all Plagg's faults in that episode, at least he's doing something about the situation. Meanwhile Tikki literally has two lines in the entire episode! A similar thing happens in Kwami's Choice where Plagg is the one driving them to act while Tikki just wrings her hands in despair.
Tikki: (sighs heavily) What can we do? Plagg: We must free them of that impossible choice. We must… free them of us.
These are not the actions of a mentor. Mentors aren't supposed to just offer judgement about things that their mentee has already done or is considering doing. They're supposed to be a source of support and guidance in hard times, but we never really see Tikki stepping in to give Marinette that kind of advice. If memory serves, she never offers solutions or acts as a sounding board. That role is mainly filled by Alya and I love Alya! It's good for Marinette to have support from a friend, but Alya is also a teenager while Tikki is an ancient being who has seen many Ladybugs go through the kind of struggles that Marinette is going through. I expect her to use that knowledge to help her charge, but she never does. This exchange from Passion perfectly highlights this problem:
Tikki: Don't worry, Plagg... my holder has decided to run away from her real feelings to pursue an impossible love with Cat Noir instead. Plagg: Uh, just to be sure, sugarcube, you do know that Cat Noir and my holder are one and the same person, right? Tikki: I do, but my holder doesn't. Plagg: If she declares her love to Cat Noir, something tells me she'll find out soon enough. Tikki: You have nothing to fear. When my holder is in love, she never gets anywhere. She'll just knit hats and make very complicated plans that will never come to fruition. Plagg: Hmm... ah, then everything's fine.
Tikki, I love you, but by the gods! With a mentor like you, Marinette doesn't need enemies to be miserable! Do you care about her at all??? What kind of mentor delights at their mentee's suffering? Not a good one, that's for sure.
*Quick note: I think that Plagg and Tikki are probably neck and neck for who has given the most bad advice, Plagg just feels like the bigger problem because we don't see him as much as we see Tikki. Since she's tied to the main character, Tikki gives advice in almost every episode and most episodes have decent morals.
Adrien's need for good advice can also feel more glaring because he's so isolated and passive. That makes Plagg's lack of good advice feel more harmful, but Marinette is just as isolated from real advice. Her mentor figures - Su Han, Fu, and Tikki - mostly give orders and judgement instead of support and guidance. It's just harder to spot that fact because Marinette is actively trying to do the right thing, meaning that she's more likely to make mistakes, and it's easy to see why she comes across as a lot less pathetic and a lot easier to judge.
#ml writing critical#ml writing salt#adrien deserves better#marinette deserves better#Tikki deserves better#plagg deserves better#red-balloon12#mentor salt
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NSFW HEADCANONS.
characters: kenshi takahashi, sub-zero, liu kang.
words count: 1626.
warning: fem!reader only, pussy drunk kenshi, creampie, big dicks, talking during sex, daddy kink, praise kink, breeding king, maybe size kink, cuddle-fucking, missionary, cowgirl, dirty talk, full-nelson.
mary ♡: hope u like it ! english is not my first language, i apologize for the mistakes ♡
rules ; masterlist.
SUB-ZERO (BI-HAN).
— despite how he looks and how he talks, bi-han is quite gentle in bed with you and doesn't want to have too much control over you, he knows that he can intimidate you too much and maybe you will become afraid of him, which will literally kill him. he wants to show you his love that he can't put into words, but his gentle touches and sweet kisses will do the trick.
— he's not the loudest during sex, i think he's just afraid to make any sounds, but he wants to hear you all the time, the way your mouth opens and the sounds that come out of it make his cock move inside you even more. if he sees that you like the way he whimpers or moans, he'll never shut up.
– i think he's pretty shameless and will definitely tell you what he wants to do to you and describe it in every color.
— he is crazy about your breasts and how they look in his palms and the way your nipples harden just from his breath elevates his ego to the heavens. bi-han will suck your tits all the time, he just can't stop and wants to do it all the time. loves to run his tongue over it and leave his drool (he's so dirty and needy 100% canon), will probably leave hickeys around your boobs and then stare at them forever. you can be sitting with friends and he'll just say in your ear that he wants to suck your boobs and you'll be like "wtf??? u ok???"
— a fan of eye contact.
— loves to humiliate, but he'll never go too far and bring you to tears, you're too precious to him, so he mixes it up with kind words to let you know you're still the best.
"where's my favorite, slut? hey, eyes on me, baby."
"show me how much you want that cock inside you and maybe i'll make you feel good."
"don't you dare make a sound, got it? or do you want to be heard? you're that dirty, aren't you, honey?"
— he doesn't have a favorite position, anything where you achieve pleasure and love each other is fine, he likes to touch you, so he doesn't like tying you up or too much bdsm, too much spanking that will leave bruises on you or too much hickeys, no matter how much he loves you, he doesn't want anyone to know about your intimate life, but still, the position he uses most often is cuddle-fucking.
— either he's your sweetest lover who is gently pounding into you, kissing the corners of your lips and whispering sweet nothings, or he's your daddy and wants you to moan loudly for him while he's trying to beat the hell out of you and get rid of the stress.
— he is obviously bigger than you and every time you stand next to him and he sees your difference, he gets blown away and you're already on the bed.
— his favorite kinks are size kink(!), voice kink and dirty talk kink.
— the biggest and thickest cock of all three of them, i just know it and i know that his cock is constantly throbbing when he sees you. bi-han knows that before he enters you he needs to warm you up good because well...his cock is really big, i'm afraid it will rip absolute anyone.
— loves to cuddle you after sex and kiss your whole face, he will take good care of you and change all the stuff you got dirty. he wants to fall asleep in your arms and listen to your heartbeat that helps him sleep and think what he did to deserve you.
KENSHI TAKAHASHI.
— i think he's pretty gentle and doesn't want to force you into things. will insist on your wishes and what you want to do the most. he won't mind if you tell him you want to tie him up, he'll be only too happy.
— based on what he can't see, it will be a little hard for him and kenshi will constantly think he's doing something wrong and if he hears that you're hurting, um, he'll go crazy. but i know it won't come to that. kenshi loves you and respects everything you've done for him, so he wants to repay you in the most wonderful ways every time.
— kenshi can't live a day without licking you and tasting you. He loves the way you wiggle his tongue and the beautiful sounds you make, he's in heaven because of you. kenshi dreams of meeting you after a hard day and asking you to sit on his face so you can get rid of the stress and soak his face in your juices. i think kenshi likes any position where he can suck your clit and kiss your folds.
— he doesn't have the fastest pace, more like a medium pace so you can enjoy this beautiful moment. but if you ask him he will go wild, even with a blindfold he will make sure you can't walk normally the next day. he loves you so he will take care of you ♡
— not the biggest fan of hickeys, he likes kissing your skin and saying nice words more.
— words ! kenshi loves it when you talk during sex and you tell him about how good you feel and how his cock was made for your cunnie. he's still not the most confident so he needs your words of encouragement, but he'll be sure to praise you too.
"ahhh, where's my beautiful girl? you're so good for me, thank you, honey."
"come for me, baby, show daddy how much you love him."
"you understand, don't you? you were made for me and i was made for you and it's the best thing that ever happened to me."
— he can cum anywhere, anything you want, he doesn't really care and wants you to like everything, but kenshi dreams of cumming in you and imagines what your child will be like, but...that's another conversation.
— i don't think he has the biggest dick, but he's not the smallest either. he's been with girls before, i'm sure he knows how to handle it and get you shaking.
— kenshi's kinks: daddy kink, praise kink, breeding king, maybe size kink.
— he likes poses where he can kiss your face and he would love to see it and see the emotions you show, but he also wouldn't mind if you ride him aggressively. for him, the top is missionary, full-nelson and maybe cowgirl.
— he may want to try public sex but will never say so, it turns him on that someone will see you and see how well he fucks you, but your bed looks more comfortable still.
— he will take excellent care of you afterwards and will do everything at the highest level. for starters he will lie with you and kiss you on the forehead to let you know how proud he is of you. he will take a bath with you and give you a good bath. he only needs words and nothing else, he is grateful that after everything that happened you are still here and let him love you.
LIU KANG.
— and finally we have reached the most beautiful man. liu kang is a true gentleman and will faithfully wait for you to want to feel all of him, and if you don't want anything, it's okay, he won't pressure you and will instead cuddle with you for a long time.
— he obviously knows how to bring a woman to a euphoric orgasm and he's going to try it out on you. he likes to see you whimpering under him and asking him to move his fingers faster, but he doesn't want to, he likes to see what a mess you're becoming and he hasn't even gotten his cock out yet.
— he likes any part of your body and will idolize everything, but your neck and shoulders have a special effect on him when he leaves kisses and feels the goosebumps on your skin and the way you immediately want more, wow, he's crazy.
— moans for you, makes the wettest noises, whimpers, he does everything and he's not ashamed, why should he keep quiet? you make him feel so good and he wants you to hear it. really, really loves talking to you during and sex and kissing you between words.
"i don't think anyone has ever evoked the same emotions in me as you have, love, i'm so glad i met you."
"do you feel good, baby? do you want me to speed up?"
"baby, you're squeezing me so hard, i'm afraid i'm gonna cum right now, haha."
— he has a lot of favorite positions and he wants to try them with you. i think liu kang practices tying you up, but not too much so you don't get hurt. he likes to fuck you in the missionary position and then watch you ride him fast and fall off from overstimulation.
— even though he looks like a man who likes sex in public places - he really likes it, haha. wouldn't mind pleasuring you in a restaurant restroom, massaging your cunnie while you talk to your friends and taking you on a picnic where he will lick your pussy and then sit u on his face while you gently suck his throbbing cock.
— he doesn't have a lot of kinks or on the contrary too many, i still haven't really figured it out, but he likes - dirty talk, overstimulation kink and riding kink (he likes the way your tits shake when you ride him).
— the most usual medium pace, enjoying your moment and he has no rush, you have forever ahead of you and he will still have time to thrust into you from behind with all his might and pull your hair while you forget how many orgasms you have already gone through.
— the sweetest when the time comes to take care of you after sex. he will change your bed, give you a massage and bring you anything you want. you did a good job for him and now it's his turn to take care of you.
#mary ♡#mortal kombat#mortal kombat 1#mk1 x reader#mk1 2023#mk1#mk1 smut#mk1 sub zero#mk1 liu kang#mk1 kenshi#kenshi takahashi#kenshi takahashi x reader#sub zero x reader#sub zero#bi han x reader#bi han#sub zero smut#liu kang#liu kang x reader#liu kang smut
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How Touchstarved are they?
~A/N: Random Headcanon. Dont look at me. Came from this excerpt.
~Tags: MDNI 18+. G!Reader. Little sprinkle of Yandere (I mean its Leander come on). Fingering. Overstimming. Orgasm Denial. Everyone is a little pouty and its kinda cute.
Ais
Ais is fine touching you…but only when its on his terms. If you go out of your way to give him affection, he will freeze. And become suspicious. He's going to do all he can to not show you how affected he actually is. But despite his slight avoidance, he likes the game you play and wants to always up the stakes (Even if you have no idea that you're playing the game. You just gave him a hello in greeting). You brush his arm when asking a question, then he's backing you against the wall and kissing you until you forget your question. It was invasive anyways- he probably wasn't gonna answer it. A forehead kiss? Well you're getting fingered in the alleyway behind the bar. He'll cover your mouth cause he wants you to hear the slick sounds of your hole as he gives your g-spot the kiss it deserves. Anyways, don't do anything if you dont want the consequences.
Leander
Leander touch borders on starvation. He pulls and prods and grasps at whatever he can. He thinks he's going to lose you, and its not a sorrowful pitiful feeling. Its targeted, jealousy bleeding from his mouth to yours- and he wants everything you have. Leander borders on overstimming you at every cost. Making you sob from fucking his fingers inside you over and over. He complains that he's touch starved, but you know deep down its more than that. Hunger bleeds into his magic when he's near you. Gets him in the mood to eat you out. No he wont be done with just one or two…or three… There isnt a spell in the world that can stop him from putting his mouth on you. He's greedy and you're his. Fingerprints embedding into your hips and its a staple piece, he gets absolutely pouty when they start to fade. Doesn't ask when he bites into your shoulder hard he murmurs seemingly innocent apologies. He cant help it, he has to.
Mhin
Abhors it. Or so they say. Literally runs from touch as much as possible. At least in the beginning. Shivers wrack their body differently when you brush past them. Hides away for days when you kiss them all over their face. Rubbing your hands down their back will unfortunately get you put on your back. Legs held down and spread as they grumble about how you're too comfortable with touching them. They dont say to stop. Nor are they ever going to say they're grateful. Please do not sit in their laps, pressing up against them as you put your fingers in their hair. Mhin is going to make you stay. It's okay, be good and just take what they give you. Doesnt matter if you're the one crying by the end of it.
Vere Wait because touching means nothing to him really. He's desired by many. But one day he notices how much you mean to him. If you get him to the point of feeling safe. Well he's all over you. Hand on every part of you all the time. You're practically stuck at the hip. Mentioning it will give you a funny quip, but a murderous stare. Not above fucking you in public when someone approaches you in a way he doesn't like. Makes you sit on his cock- hand around your throat, making sure that the plebeian that even graced your presence watches as you take every inch. Gasping out his name is not enough. He wants you louder than the bar patrons bellows of laughter. Grins when he can see people trying hard not to look, the group coughing and adjusting. Just makes his hips bridge into you faster.
Kuras
Kuras has no need for touch. He seems a bit above it. But he can see that you need it. And oh…well thats interesting isn't it? How long can you go without his touch he wonders. Nonchalantly avoids you in disguise of being "busy". His eyes darkening when he can see the need for him in your eyes. Likes that you're starting to shake and even snap at him. Can't really blame him for giving up when you start to paw at his robes begging for anything he can give you. All he has to do is close his hands over yours and he can see the visceral relief in your eyes…and that does something to Kuras. Likes that you clench so tight around him, wet gasps and hiccupping tear reign supreme even over his coos of acknowledgement. Thinking maybe its unsightly for him to feel this sort of pleasure, especially when he pauses just as youre about to come. Rubbing the tears of your flushed face, hushing you. Telling you he's going to give exactly what you want. Just ask for it. Beg for it even. He wonders how far he can go next time. Wonders what you'll do if he pulled out and left you right there. Hmm. Maybe next time.
#touchstarved#touchstarved game#ais x mc#leander x mc#kuras x mc#touchstarved x reader#vere x mc#mhin x mc#ais x reader#leander x reader#mhin x reader#vere x reader#kuras x reader#thithesandofferings
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