#& ive had cops called on me for this before

[humanmorph]

At work yesterday I watched a trailer for an upcoming horror movie (elevator game) and was pretty unimpressed with the monster design. You'd think they'd come up with something else for 'scary ghost woman' after all this time but nah it's still long black hair, long limbs (in this case fingers?) and like, contortion. also, you know, facial disfigurement! of course! it literally doesn't matter how many times disability advocates or disabled people themselves talk about how horror uses certain kinds of bodies as a template for monster designs or 'body horror'. it suuuuucks

[lathrine]

im reading an article about how vitriolic people visiting the national parks have gotten, and it is SO cathartic to see my exact experiences in grocery retail be restated by the customer service reps working in the parks.

like its awful, obvious. the average customer has gotten so nasty, and the employees Do Not deserve the treatment they’re receiving. but during 2020/2021, people seemed to think that those viral Nasty Customer videos were 1) not common and 2) relegated just to grocery/retail. and i cant speak for every single hospitality and customer service sector and store, but i can say that at my store that sort of vitriolic outbreak became VERY common. not constant, but common enough to bump the baseline up.

my manager and i had a conversation where she said a lot of her friends-- some of whom had been in the hospitality or customer service industry for over a decade-- were considering a career change because it was SO BAD and no one could even fathom how to move forward. none of us could imagine it ever getting better. our New Normal was people screaming at and berating us every day, blaming us for mask mandates and vaccines and supply shortages. threatening legal action and physical violence. of people intentionally trying to get us sick and terrorizing us. everything was an argument with no hope of de-escalation; it genuinely wouldve been less inciting to tell some of those customers “go fuck yourself” than it was to tell them “im so sorry, but.” and all that while we were surrounded by the extremely smothering reality that no one cared if we died and everyone considered us sub-human.

everyone i know who gave a fuck quit shortly after i did, because none of us could handle it anymore. this includes people who’d worked at that store since it opened, some of our most decorated and knowledgeable coworkers.

like. i dunno yall. its kind of like how you cant describe how things just Make Sense as you near the latter half of your 20s; i cant put into words just how horrifically awful customer service was at that time. if you didnt personally experience it, everything we say sounds like an exaggeration and hyperbole.

and i cannot stress this enough: its still that bad. i would imagine most customer service and hospitality places had the same thing happen: a mass exodus of everyone who knew what they were doing because they could not stand the abuse anymore, and a rotating door of new hires that Refuse (rightfully so!!!) to tolerate the abuse. there is a new breed of customer that genuinely Does Not Care about employees and see pleas of humanity and kindness as a challenge to see how quickly they can break the employee at the desk.

this is especially relevant now, with it being the holidays. employees are more short staffed and overworked than ever, and customers some how have even less patience. customers dont plan literally five minutes out, and then blame employees for not materializing their needs before them on a silver platter.

anyways. i dont know how this article ends, but i have a pretty good guess.

[2024skin]

I haven't eaten a pizza lunchable since I was 16 and I threw up an entire undigested one (3 distinct pizza crusts) while I was on acid

[southislandwren]

man i had just yanked myself out of a funk and then today the cows decided to be stupid fucking assholes and im right back in it. i should pack up alphonse and drive to {state} and leave my phone here

[i-cant-sing]

Yandere batfam with a sick reader?

Yes but sick reader who is still defiant because hello, they kidnapped you?????

Reader is just glaring at them with tired eyes and a red nose as they once again tuck her under the covers, Dick is highly worried as he frets over you like a mama hen because he did have a heart attack when he caught you standing in front of your open window, where "harsh" gusts of cold air were "attacking your fragile form", so of course, he had to drag you in and wrap his arms around you, rub his cheek against you because he NEEDS to warm you immediately, lest you die of hypothermia.

Yes, Dick overreacts. And yes, Damian will accompany his brother in his delusions, or well, take any chance he gets to scold you.

"You should be in bed, Y/n." Damian said sternly, his eyes narrowed because how dare you worry his favourite brother like this. "Didn't Dick tell you to rest? Are you that incapable of following simple commands?"

You narrowed your eyes back at him, opening your mouth to say something mean but got cut off by your own coughing fit, making Dick rush to help you drink some water, rubbing your back along it. Your throat felt scractchy, and it hurt to speak, but you still wanted to convey your feelings so-

You flipped him off. For a nano second, because Dick immediately grabbed your hand and tucked it back under the covers while Damian's eyes widened at you disrespect, but before he could make any more gremlin noises, but Bruce walked in and Damian knew better than to complain to him about you when youre already sick, cause Bruce wouldve still favoured you.

"Y/n? How do you feel now?" Bruce asked, his voice gentle as he walked closer to where Dick was throwing away your mountain of tissues.

"Im fine. I wanna go out-" "No." "And why not?" "Because youre sick." "You may be Batman, but youre not a doctor!" "I am your father though."

No, youre not. You wanted to say, but knew that would only piss him off and you need to be on his good side if you want Dick and the others to be off your back so that you can escape.

"Whats her temperature?" Bruce asked Dick, who put a thermometer in your mouth quickly. Dick sighed as he told Bruce how you were out of bed and standing in your balcony in the cold just moments ago.

Bruce placed a palm over your forehead, and you tried to move away but there wasnt really any space or energy for you to do that. Bruce's eyes shifted the slightest bit at your burning forehead. "Why do you insist on getting out of bed and sleeping on the floor? Ive already had to pick you up 3 times in the past 2 days."

You pulled out the thermometer and glared at him. "Im fine. Its just sniffles." Bruce's lip quirked a little. You looked absolutely adorable in your delirious state, like an angry kitten.

"I dont think its just sniffles this time. And-" Bruce pulled the thermometer from your hands that you were hiding under the covers. "-dont hide the thermometer from me." His eyes scanned it and the twitch in his brow was enough for Dick to know that the number was too high.

Bruce then eyed the cough syrup next to your side table- its still full.

"Why havent you been taking your medicine?"

"Im not sick-"

"White paint has more color than you do right now. So why havent you been taking the medicine?" Bruce asked and even though he was a little annoyed, he had enough practice dealing with the other kid's rebellious phases to have the patience of a saint.

You shrugged. "How do I know its just cough syrup and not a sedative?" "It is a sedative too. Its supposed to make you sleepy." "Well, I dont wanna sleep and let my guard down in a house full of 5 strange men." You obviously never counted Alfred- hes the only normal one here- except for the part that he wont call the cops for you, but oh well.

Bruce just casted a look to Dick and before you knew it, Dick was pinching your nostrils close and titling your head up while Bruce grabbed the syrup and poured some in your mouth before clamping his hand over it. You struggled to break free, but you were obviously no match to them. Still, tears of frustration pricked your eyes as you looked at them in betrayal and hatred.

"Drink this and dont argue with me, please." Bruce said- well, he genuinely requested at this point.

You didnt have much of a choice other than swallowing it.

With a defiant glare, you begin closing your eyes as your body gave into the effects of the drug, the last thing that you felt were Bruce kissing your forehead while Dick pecked your cheek.

Jason finally decides to drop by the Wayne manor, only to be greeted with the sight of reader lying on the kitchen floor. His heart stopped for a moment- you werent breathing-

"Y/n!" He rushed to your side, only to be smacked in the face by you.

"Shush. Dont be too loud." Your voice sounded like sandpaper against rocks.

Jason huffed. "Well, sorry for freaking out. I thought you were dead-"

"From a cough? Im not weak."

"Yeah? So, what exactly are you doing on the cold floor in the middle of the night?"

"..."

"Well?"

"What? So I cant even take a nap in this house? Jesus Christ, am I allowed to have any autonomy here?"

"Y/n." Jason called, clearly unamused by your sarcasm.

"Fine. I may have fallen and then didnt have the energy to get up, so im just catching my breath here."

"Why are you even out of bed?"

"I was hungry and Im not gonna drink another spoon of Alfred's bland soup again." Alfred made it bland on purpose so that your throat wouldnt be irritated.

"Please stop wasting whats left of your voice on complaints of the soup that you cant even taste." Jason chuckled as he picked you up, only for you to push at his chest weakly.

"I dont need your help. I can walk on my own."

Jason quirked a brow. "If you can make it to the front door without fainting or throwing up, I'll help you escape." You stared at the front door- it wasnt too far, but judging by the fact that its even hard for you to breathe properly and that youve fainted way too many times by just standing for more than a couple of minutes.

But youre stubborn. With great effort, you pushed yourself off Jason and used the kitchen island to pull yourself up. Jason decided to walk in front of you and stand near the kitchen exit because he really wanted to see your struggling face.

You took a trembling step, then another, one hand still using the support of the island until it ended and you were only a couple of feet away from Jason. At this point, you were already out of breath and when you took another step, your legs gave out and the room began spinning.

Luckily, Jason was quick to react. "Alright, just place your arm around mine- or just fall on me, that works too." He teased when you couldnt hold your body weight.

You slumped in his arms. "Just take me to my room." You huffed.

"Alright." Jason lifted your legs up and carried you back up the stairs. "You know you'd get better a lot faster if you just stayed in bed and took your medicine on time. Wouldnt that make your chances of escaping the manor better?"

You stared at him blankly. "Wow. The world must be ending for Jason Todd to be making logical suggestions."

Jason rolled his eyes as he tucked you in bed. "Im just saying, if you get better faster, you'll get to try running from us quicker too."

How do you explain to him that you just dont want to comply to them, even when they're helping you. How do you explain that you dont wanna listen to them because the soft pitiful, patronising look they get in their eyes when they look at you makes you wanna scream and carve your skin out. These are strangers, rich men who just kidnapped you to be a part of their family. No one is that kind. And nothing ever comes for free. Nothing.

"Do you need something? Food, perhaps?" Jason asked. You shook your head. "No, I think Im gonna throw up."

"Oh shit." Jason was hauling his ass out of the room t get you a bucket, only to return with a backpack.

You barely held your puke as you asked. "Wait- whose is this?"

"I dont know!? Damian's?!"

You grinned. "Oh, perfect." You proceeded to throw up into Damian's bag. That little shit just got on your nerves.

BONUS:

"I know you have attachment issues with your blanket but its been a couple of days now and you need to let me wash it." Dick said, trying to tug it out of your grip.

You sniffled and glared. "Im not a child who needs their blankie, Dick. Im just too cold without it and no other blanket can warm me up the same way it does."

"Give the blankie, Y/n." Dick said seriously.

"Its not a blankie." You retorted, but before you could react, Tim suddenly grabbed you while Dick ripped away the blanket. And even though he immediately replaces it with a clean blanket, you still let out a gut wrenching cry

"You'll have it back tomorrow-" Tim starts saying, only for you to sneeze directly in his face, making him freeze.

"And that's why we use tissues." Dick says, wiping both your nose and Tim's face with tissues, while you're not making any effort to suppress the grin that comes on your lips.

[moonstruckme]

hello! i saw u were hoping for more eddie requests (or less marauders requests, was what you were getting at i think) n i was wondering if u had any thoughts on summer with eds? maybe night swimming…making out on a towel in the back of his van…lots to consider…

p.s. — ive yet to request anything from you, so this is my first chance to say how much i love your work! 🩷

Okay okay, you guys are wearing me down about writing summer blurbs. Twist my arm! Thanks for requesting love ;)

cw: pg-13 smut, mention of not eating

Eddie Munson x fem!reader ♡ 858 words

Eddie’s hair has dried frizzy, which doesn’t give you a lot of hope for yours. His skin is still sun-warm, and you shiver for reasons that are multiplying by the minute, pressing close as he mouths over the dip where your neck meets your shoulder. You’re not sure exactly how you’d ended up in Eddie’s lap. You’d climbed in the back of his van to get a towel, and somehow that towel had ended up spread beneath the both of you, scratching lightly at your bare shins as the sun slips below the horizon and your boyfriend brutalizes your neck. He bites down just this side of too hard, making you gasp. 

“Eddie,” you plead, fingers winding in his hair. “We can’t do this here.” 

He releases the skin of your neck with a lewd suctioning sound, moving to that place under your ear that gets you melty like a popsicle in July. His hands grip your ass, squeezing indulgently as you squirm in his lap. “Says who?” 

“Says—” He kisses that favored spot and your head falls to the side to accommodate him, an embarrassingly needy sound escaping you. “—says, I don’t know—the cops.” 

Eddie’s laugh is so raucous he has to pull away. You’re not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. His hands slide to your hips, grounding you as he looks at you with eyes wide and incredulous. “The cops?” he asks. 

You swallow, nodding. You have this horrible vision of Jim Hopper himself getting a call about the suspicious van parked by the lake, coming over and shining a flashlight into the open back doors to find you both naked and in the middle of things. 

Eddie laughs some more, shoulders shaking with it, and you can’t help but snicker a little too just because he is. “Baby, the cops don’t give a shit about what we’re up to. I’m sure they have better things to do.” 

You shoot him a look, because you both know damn well that when Hawkins isn’t being threatened by monsters from a parallel universe, it’s completely dead around here. 

“Let’s go back to your place,” you urge. “This towel’s all wet anyway, and I wanna shower.” 

Eddie makes himself at home in the juncture of your neck again, kissing lazily. “S’not enough room in my shower for both of us,” he complains.

“We can pick this back up after, I know—shit, Eds—” Without warning, his hand slips up to palm your tit, pushing aside the scant covering of your swimsuit. You try to sound reasonable. “I know I taste like lake water.” 

“Mhm. It’s hot.” 

“It’s gross.” 

“You’re gross.” He pauses, lips lifting momentarily from your shoulder. “Okay, wrong comeback. I’m distracted. It’s not gross, baby.” His grip tightens on you a second before he licks up the side of your neck, holding you in place when you squeal and try to get away. “Mm, yummy lake water.” 

“You’re disgusting,” you laugh, leaning back and setting your hands on his shoulders so he can’t try it again. 

“Aw, come on.” A thick finger slips under the elastic of your bikini bottoms, tracing a line around your hip as his other hand squeezes your boob lightly. Eddie grins at your tiny inhale. “Have a little fun.” 

“Eddie,” you say warningly. 

“Yes?” Another finger joins the first, your swimsuit stretching to accommodate them. 

“I want to go home.” You imbue your voice with as much firmness as you can. When Eddie pouts, you go for the kill. “I’m getting really hungry.” 

Immediately, the wickedness leaves his expression, replaced by a sweet concern. “Yeah?” The elastic of your swimsuit snaps back into place, and you jolt. Eddie flattens his palm over the spot, rubbing apologetically. “I forgot, you barely had anything for lunch. You wanna drive through somewhere?” 

“No, I can make it until we get home,” you say softly, backpedaling a bit in the face of his caring. “I’m not dying, just a little hungry.” 

Eddie’s mouth pulls to one side. “You sure, sweet thing? It’s a bit of a drive back. We could grab McDonalds.” Your eyes widen, and his grin makes a return, this time crooked and dorky. “Yeah?” 

“That sounds amazing,” you admit. “Do you think they’ll give me a hashbrown even though it’s not breakfast yet?” 

“I’ll make sure they do.” He eases you off his lap, reaching over to close the back doors. You start looking around for your flip-flops. “I think they’re serving breakfast all day now anyways.” 

“Ugh, awesome.” You imagine the greasy taste, and your mouth floods with saliva. Shit, you actually are pretty hungry. Eddie climbs into the front seat, reaching for your elbow to help you over the console behind him. The material of the seatbelt feels warm and rough against your skin. “Just to be clear,” you say, “I didn’t mean that I wasn’t having a good time. We still should have a re-do later, after food and showers.” 

Eddie huffs a laugh, turning the keys in the ignition so the van rumbles to life underneath you. “No need for a re-do, baby. We’re just having an intermission.” 

[ghost-in-the-hall]

Fall For Me (Poly! Sleep Token x Fem! Reader) - Part III

Welcome to part 3!! It makes me so happy to see all of you enjoying this, I'm so excited to keep writing and sharing with you guys!!! However, I'm going to be putting a content warning on this chapter, everything will be clearly laid out in the warning! Other than that we get some sweet II and III, so enjoy! Again, thank you so much for reading, if you'd like to be added to the tag list don't hesitate to let me know!

WARNINGS: Content warning for a scene with an aggressive man. Some guy is trying to pick up reader, he's gross, he gets mad when reader turns him down, attempted grabbing but nothing actually happens, aggressive language. Brief description of a hand wound and care of said wound. I think that's everything, if I missed any please let me know!

Part II - Part IV

My Masterlist! ~ AO3 Link!

Thank you as always to @spookyghostjelly for beta reading, ily ❤️❤️❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your fingers drummed nervously across the countertop, your face starting to hurt from forcing your rehearsed smile. You felt beads of sweat starting to gather at your temples, your skin growing itchy as one of the droplets slowly trailed its way down your skin. The man at the counter leaned in a little too close to you, his breath smelled of cheap cigarette smoke and stale beer, making it difficult for you not to gag. “Come on, just one date.” His gaze pierced into you, hungry and unwelcoming. You shifted your weight in between your feet, eyes darting away from him as you attempted to plan your escape.

“I’m sorry, I’m not interested.” You crack a nervous, apologetic look. His eyebrows narrowed, his whole expression changing in a way that lets you know you hadn't given him an answer he would accept. You nearly jumped out of your skin as the bell chimed above the door. Your gaze snapped over to the entrance to find Vessel, II, and a third man you didn’t recognize slipping inside. II started in your direction, only for Vessel to grab him by the arm and tug him towards the back.

“I promise I’m a nice guy.” He smiles at you with yellowing teeth, despite how friendly he tried to seem, his gaze still locked into you maliciously.

“Ves, I have the case of drinks you asked for!” You call to the back of the store, hoping to catch his attention to signal your state of distress. Before you had a chance to see him react the man snapped his fingers in your face.

“Excuse me, I believe we were having a conversation babe.” Out of the corner of your eye you see the mystery man Vessel brought with him stiffen, his head turning slightly in your direction as he straightens up. “I see you’re exactly like all the other stupid whores in this town, always distracted by guys with muscles.” He sneers, leaning in even closer. "Well I deserve a chance too. I don't deserve to be tossed aside like trash." His voice cracked as he spoke, you noticed his body started to shake as he grew more unpredictable and upset with every passing second. "Now, I've been patient… I'm going to ask you one last time before you and I have a fucking problem, do I make myself clear?"

"I've already answered you. I suggest you see yourself out before I call the cops." The man suddenly screams in frustration, making you jump. You attempted to back away from him, trying to put some distance between the two of you, only for him to try and grab you. As he swiped at you a hand grabbed the man’s wrist, pinning him in place. You watched as he expertly put the man's wrist in some sort of hold causing the man to cry out in pain, almost falling flat on his face as he tried to scramble away.

“Just walk forward and it won’t hurt.” Your savior barks out a command, ushering the man out of the store. II approaches the counter, grabbing the man’s bags and throwing them out the door after him. You watch as the unknown man grabs the attacker by his jacket and throws him to the ground, rolling him off the curb, his cans rattling to the ground behind him. The second the situation was handled II’s eye’s immediately found yours, long strides bringing him next to you impossibly fast.

“Are you okay?” He asks you softly, his large hands engulfing your much smaller trembling ones as he allows you a moment to process that you were once again safe. You nod as you let out a shaky breath. II pushes some stray hair out of your face, giving you a quick once over to inspect for any injuries. He lets out a soft hum of approval as he sees nothing physically wrong.

“I’m just a little shaken up, that’s all.” You gave his hands a gentle squeeze, trying your best to resist the urge to crumble into a mess of panicked tears under his gentle gaze.

“III, is he gone?” Vessel calls over to the other man.

“Yeah he tore out of here pretty quick.”

"I'm sorry I didn't step in sooner." Vessel offers you an apologetic smile.

"It's alright, I'm sorry you had to get involved. But thank you, all of you, for doing something. I didn't expect him to fly off the handle like that." Vessel places a comforting hand on your shoulder, II did one final check to make sure you were alright before stepping away.

The third man slowly approaches the counter, being cautious . He takes your hand firmly in his. "(Y/N)?" You nod in response. "III, nice to meet you, sorry it couldn't be under better circumstances." He smiles in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Thank you for that." His thumb trails over your knuckles as he studies your face for a moment.

"Of course, I can't stand seeing disgusting pigs like that trying to force themselves on women." You feel II's warm hand come to rest in your shoulder.

"Are you going to be okay here by yourself?" He asks.

"Yeah I should be alright, I probably won't get that much sleep, but I'll be fine." You try to reassure him. You found yourself looking around the empty lot nervously as they drove away, expecting the man from earlier to be standing somewhere outside. You sprinted upstairs, slamming your door shut behind you, triple checking that you had locked up tight. You collapsed on your couch with a sigh, turning on your TV to distract yourself. You found yourself sucked into mindless television, your nerves slowly withering away as you let yourself forget about the day's events. You quickly muted the TV at the sound of something tapping against your window. Your pulse immediately began to race as you realized that there was someone outside. You grabbed your phone, dialing emergency services so you were ready. Cautiously you approach the window, keeping yourself out of sight as you look outside. Your body immediately relaxed at the sight of a familiar figure. You were met with the sight of II throwing small rocks at your window to get your attention. You tug at the stuck frame, pushing it up with a groan as it scrapes into place. "What are you doing here?" He drops the small pile of pebbles he was holding, dusting off his hands.

"I didn't feel right leaving you alone after today." He calls back. He shoves his hands in his pockets, his overall demeanor somewhat nervous as you wait for him to continue. "If it's alright with you, I figured some company might help." He shrugs slightly. You blush at his offer, slowly nodding in response

"I'd like that." He straightens up with confidence at your response. "Stairs are around back, I'll let you in." You hurried over to the door, stopping to look in a mirror to fuss over anything that was out of place. You took a deep, steadying breath as you opened up the door. II was just jogging up the stairs as you stepped out into the cool night air. He paused on the landing, the two of you trying to figure out what to say as you awkwardly rocked back and forth on your heels. You didn't know why you felt so nervous. Granted, you had only known II for a couple weeks at this point, but he had always been so kind towards you, if anything you looked forward to seeing him come into the shop day in and day out. "Come on, it's cold." You pull your sweater tightly around you to try and block out the wind, a shiver running through your whole body at the sudden drop in temperature. "Let's go inside, I'll make you some tea." II stands awkwardly in the entryway, almost as if he was waiting for instructions on what to do next. "Make yourself at home." You prompt. He clumsily pulls off his boots, tucking them neatly into the corner. You hummed softly as you worked on starting the kettle, watching as II acquainted himself with your living space. He walked around with his hands behind his back, carefully leaning in to look at pictures or other various items that seemed to pique his interest. You lean over his shoulder to see what he was looking at, your soft chuckle caused him to jump slightly as he suddenly realized how close you had gotten. He motions to the picture, silently asking if he could pick it up. You nodded enthusiastically.

"Which one's you?" He asks, settling close to your side so you could look at the photo together. Your eyes scanned over the group until they landed on the image of you letting out a boisterous laugh just as the photo was taken. You pointed, II studied the picture for a moment before glancing up at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a smile. "You look so pretty." You can't help but blush at the direct compliment. "Where was this?"

"It was taken at the Fall Festival in town, actually." He sets the picture neatly back in place. You found yourself getting lost in his eyes before you jumped slightly at the sound of the kettle singing. "I'll be right back." You grab two mugs, handing one to II as you both nestle into the couch.

"I like your apartment, it's nice." He remarks cheerfully.

"It's not much, but it's home." You respond with a smile. He turns away from you, lifting up his mask just enough to sip at his tea. "Thank you for coming to see me…" you trail off, running your finger around the edge of your mug. "I feel a lot safer with you around."

"I'm glad," he replies softly, fidgeting with his sleeve. "I want to become someone you trust," you both look up simultaneously, your eyes meeting his. "I won't let anything hurt you if I can help it." You smile, your eyes scanning over the contours of his face beneath his mask. You wanted to reach out and take his hand, feeling an overwhelming need to be close to him.

"I really appreciate you coming to check up on me, II." He shifts slightly, bringing himself slightly closer to you.

"Anytime." He breathes out a laugh. "I just… I had to make sure you were alright. When we walked into the store earlier, and I saw that guy harassing you, I don't know what came over me but I just saw red. If Vessel hadn't grabbed me I honestly don't know what I would have done to him." He tentatively reached out, you met him halfway, allowing your hand to rest in his. "Then, when we left, you still looked so scared. I don't know, maybe I'm just being overprotective." He chuckles. You found yourself absentmindedly fidgeting with his fingers as he held your hand, slowly circling your thumb around his own.

"I honestly was still really anxious when you showed up." You admit, a bit embarrassed. "Having you here with me is really nice."

He leans in a bit closer to you in order to whisper, "I'll stay as long as you need." He shoots you a playful wink, making you giggle. The two of you sat talking late into the night. Any worries from the day's previous events are the furthest thing from your mind as II helped to lull you into a state of comfort you weren't sure if you had ever experienced before. You looked over at the clock, you groaned as you realized you'd have to be up for work in a few hours. "I'll take that as my cue to leave." He chuckles. He stands, stretching his arms high above his head with a pleased sigh.

He haphazardly shoves on his boots as you trail behind him to the door. "I guess I'll see you at the store." Despite how hard you tried it was impossible to mask the disappointment in your voice. The truth was you didn't want him to leave. In the fleeting hours you had spent with him this evening you felt like you had finally started to meet the real II. Despite how friendly he always was towards you, there was still something about him that was so guarded. You were hoping that given enough time you would become someone he could trust as well.

"Maybe we could do this again sometime?" He shoves his hands in his pockets, his eyes trailing to the floor as he asked.

"I would love to… I had a great time." You smile at him. You found yourself subconsciously shuffling closer to him.

"I did too." You reach out for the door handle, catching the smell of II's sweet cologne. You look up at him, intense blue eyes already studying you. You swallowed thickly as you froze, you really didn't want him to leave. His gaze drops to your lips for a fraction of a second before he clears his throat, snapping both of you from your trance-like state. You pull the door open, stepping out with him into the cold fall night. "Be safe, yeah?"

You nod, "you too." You stood on the landing as he headed down the stairs. "Goodnight II." He pauses at the bottom.

"Goodnight (Y/N)." He bows his head slightly before heading around the building. You didn't get much sleep the remainder of that night. No matter how much you tossed and turned you couldn't get the thought of II out of your head. His bright blue eyes, soft voice, your whole night with him kept replaying in your mind like a dream. Luckily, your next day at work was uneventful, the most exciting part of your shift was cleaning bright red food dye off the floor from a kid who dropped their slushy. You clicked off your open sign, propping the door open to start bringing in your stock for the evening. You got to work lugging the crates of produce inside as you waited for your helpers to show up.

"Fuck's sake Charlie, could you have loaded this thing up anymore?" You grumble to no one as you struggled with a particularly heavy crate. You yelped as your foot got caught on a pallet, the handle of the crate splintering apart in your palm as you slammed it and your full body weight to the ground. You winced as you opened your hands. One of them was relatively unscathed, a few minor scrapes from the skin dragging across the pavement. Your other hand, however, wasn't so lucky. A long gash spread across your entire palm, small chips of the bright blue plastic barely visible against the deep red pool. You jumped as someone rushed around the side of the building.

"Are you alright?" It was III, his eyes wide with worry as he rushed to your side. "Can I look?" You gingerly hold your hand out to him, your fingers shaking as the adrenaline starts to wear off. He clicks his tongue, "you gotta be careful doll, can't have our best girl getting hurt now, can we?" He smiles as his eyes meet yours. He helps you up, careful not to bump your injured hand, before leading you inside. "You sit here," his hands land on your waist as he lifts you to sit on the counter. "Where's your first aid kit?"

"Just outside of the bathroom in the back. III, I promise I'm alright-" he waves you off before you have a chance to finish your statement.

"I know you can handle yourself, but you're hurt." He calls back to you as he retrieves what he needs. He makes his way back up to the counter, waiting with an outstretched hand for you to present the wound for him. "I was always taught," he continues in a tone barely above a whisper, "that if you're hurt you should probably let someone else help."

"I guess you're right," he looks up at you through his lashes. Striking blue eyes cause you to blush under their intense gaze. "But, regardless, thank you." He gently takes the wrist of your good hand, bringing it over to his arm.

"This isn't going to feel good," he states bluntly, "squeeze as hard as you want. You nod, your fingers instantly digging into his arm as he cleans off the cut with disinfectant. He was quick but meticulous with his work, making sure the bandage was securely fastened before cleaning up after himself. "There you go doll, good as new." His eyes crinkle as he smiles. "But, I will be taking care of the lifting today." He says in a playful tone. He helps you down off the counter, allowing you to stick by his side in order to help him figure out where everything went. You sat next to him on the floor, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes from laughing so hard. There was a knock on the door, both of you instinctually turning in the sound's direction. III peers above the shelf before fully standing up. "I'll get it." You hear Vessel and II's familiar voices as he opens the door.

"Where is she?" II asks.

"She's over there, she had a bit of an accident earlier so-" before III had a chance to finish explaining II hurried around the shelf to assess the damage himself.

"What happened?" His eyes wide as he knelt down next to you. "It wasn't that asshole again, was it?" You can't help but laugh slightly at his concerned tone.

"I fell and cut my hand on a crate." You explain holding up your bandaged palm. He sighs in relief, his shoulders noticeably relaxing.

"You gotta be careful, dove." He gently pats the top of your head. He stands, offering his hand to help you up. "Come on, IV really wants to meet you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List: @spookyghostjelly @herripinkle @thepoisonedchalice @saturnhas82moons @wingsofeternitysstuff @creamwhxre @itsyagirl-snowflake @themultiverseofmars @mustluvecho @the-hole-in-terzos-shoe @jumpcauseimfroggy (I think that's everyone if I missed you or you'd like to be added please let me know!)

[sunflowerpie]

Actually crazy that pre-'depression treatment' i described myself as someone full of joyous whimsy, i was excited about the coming days, i may not have been happy but i was at least content, if a little stressed. Now I'm scared and miserable and unsure. I'll be fine once i can get myself home and get myself comfortable and regulate my goddamn emotions but ough.... this has really taken it out of me. I have to get my joyful whimsical nature back...

Ruh roh! The psychiatrist made me have a panic attack and then used it to imprison me! Guess i dont have rights anymore

[iheartyoimiya]

1. BADGE AND SCRUBS

( crossfire , yang jungwon )

walking quickly through the cold hospital hallway toward the busy main desk, you caught the attention of a frantic nurse. she kept glancing at her stethoscope and the patient through the glass window. "doctor! thank god you're here. the patient just woke up and won’t let anyone check on him. we need you, he keeps pushing the nurses away," she gasped as you nodded and followed her into the room.

the man sat comfortably on the blue hospital bed with his arms crossed, his iv ripped out of one of them. when he saw you enter through his peripheral vision, his expression shifted slightly to a more nicer one. "so they called you."

"they did," you replied with a smile, putting on plastic gloves to dispose of the iv needle in the biological hazards bin. he shrugged at your actions and simply said, "i don't like not moving my arm."

you began your examination, shining a light into his eyes, checking his heartbeat, and assessing his mobility. he seemed surprisingly well for someone who had just undergone brain surgery, but then again, some people reacted differently. and with your level of experience, you had seen all kinds of cases, from the very best outcomes, to the unfortunately bad ones.

"yes, i wouldn’t like not being able to move my arm either," you uttered, stepping back. "i’ll be back later tonight to check on you, but in the meantime, please let the nurses do their jobs, alright?" you raised your brows, tucking your hands into your scrub pockets

he rolled his eyes but muttered his agreement, which made you smile again. "great, i’ll let your family know you’re out of surgery, they’ve been very worried and are still at the hospital," you added.

his family had been nonstop asking every resident and nurse they saw in the lobby if he had woken up, even staying as late in the night to make sure they would be here as soon as he did.

his expression brightened. "they have? well, bring them here! i want to see them," he said, straightening up in bed. this was a sight you couldn’t grow tired of seeing, patients coming out of successful surgeries and being glad to spend the rest of their days alive with their loved ones.

"right away," you replied, nodding slightly as you prepared to leave. passing by the nurse, you leaned in to say, "page me if anything happens. i just got off, but i’ll be nearby." your serious tone underscored the urgency of the situation.

she agreed and bid you goodbye as you headed to the locker room to change. upon arrival, you greeted a few doctors and started preparing for the evening ahead. after a long day filled with surgeries, you were finally free from the hospital, even if it was late at night. some procedures had stretched on for up to five hours, but that was nothing compared to the marathon shifts you’d been in the past.

stepping outside, you walked to your car, parked neatly in your own space, and pulled onto the road. as you drove carefully, you gazed at the dark sky, soon approaching a familiar spot in the city you often visited with your friends of coworkers. the karaoke bar.

opening the door, you were welcomed by the warm ambiance of healthcare and other high-stress workers enjoying their time off here. the owner appreciated this crowd, knowing that those jobs contributed significantly to his business, and plus, he always had either a cop, doctor or firefighter a few feet away in case of an emergency.

you took a seat at the bar and greeted the bartender, who quickly took your order for a sparkling cold water and some chips. you opted for a non-alcoholic drink, knowing you needed to stay alert in case you received a page.

your drink and chips soon arrived, and you thanked the bartender before turning your attention to the karaoke stage, who was occupied like always. a group of friends was enthusiastically singing a song, their voices blending with laughter and cheers from the crowd. the energy in the room was infectious, and you found yourself tapping your foot along to the beat.

then, one of the singers caught your eye, a guy in the middle with charming dimples that deepened with every smile and word. his brown hair remained messy on top of his head, his brown eyes brightening with the colorful lights.

as if sensing your gaze, he glanced over and locked eyes with you, throwing a playful wink your way through the music and laughter.

you shook your head, and smiled back, but thought nothing of it. he continued to sing a few lines of the song, his gaze still locked on you. but just as you were about to raise your glass to cheer at him, your phone rang in your purse.

you glanced at the screen and sighed, knowing you had to answer. “hello?” you said, trying to keep your disappointment at bay.

“doctor l/n, we need you back in about an hour. a patient is being transferred from another hospital, they don’t have a neurosurgeon available,” the nurse informed you, her tone urgent.

you nodded, even though she couldn’t see you. “i’ll be there in half, make sure the o.r is ready when i get there, and wake my assisting doctors up,” you replied, reluctantly tearing your eyes away from the stage. the lively atmosphere faded into the background as you pushed around your food in the plate.

“they’re not answering the pages doctor, their cellphones are off too, should we get other assisting?” she asked, making you roll your eyes.

“i don’t care if they are not answering, they are still at the hospital, and i know they don’t have any surgeries right now, so go wake them up from the dorms and let them know that if they don’t show up ready by the time i step into that hospital, i’ll personally make sure they never assist anyone in a surgery again,” you spoke, and hung up.

“what is wrong with these people? they can’t just chose not to operate on a patient,” you scoffed, not believing what you heard about them declining the calls. they should be worried and anxious to receive calls, not happy to ignore them.

sometimes you just wished you’d never become a surgeon in first place, it was hard to have the lives of peoples on your hand while you dealt with some incompetent doctors and nurses that thought they could just sit all day, check on a single patient, hand out bandaids and make money. but the feeling of seeing patients healthy after a surgery you performed was something you wouldn’t get anywhere, even if you had to deal with some seriously mad people who believed they were king’s of the worlds with a speciality.

though it was difficult to have time for others than patients in your job, you still managed to have close friends, one who was a pediatrician and another who was in emergencies. two wasn’t much, but it was all you thought you needed.

they didn’t think it though, they were obsessed with the idea of making you go on blind dates and meet guys so you could get a boyfriend and ‘chill out’, but you disliked wasting your time in that, instead, you preferred being out by yourself, and occasionally with them.

you barely had time for yourself, and they thought you’d have time for a guy. though, deep down, you knew they were right about you settling down.

on the other hand, at the opposite side of the bar, the group of friends finally settled down at their table, exhausted from all the singing and jumping around. it had been a wild night filled with laughter, off-key notes, and spontaneous dance moves that left them breathless. despite their serious jobs as special agents, they had a knack for letting loose and embracing the chaos of life.

“sunoo, why are you wasting your life being a crime investigator? you could’ve been a member of a boyband,” jay said, chugging down his drink, the alcohol leaving a slight sting in his dry throat. he leaned back in his chair, eyeing sunoo.

the one he referred to only deadpanned, leaning back in his chair too but with an air of indifference. “sure,” he replied, barely masking his amusement. sunoo shook his head, a playful smirk creeping onto his face as he turned to the other of the trio. “you know, jungwon, i thought you flirted better. i really did. what was that wink you just did to that girl?” he teased, mimicking the exaggerated gesture with a dramatic flair that had him cracking up.

jungwon froze, having been caught off guard, and offered a nervous smile. “oh, it was nothing,” he dismissed, though his eyes darted over to you, who were furiously typing in your phone. the way you focused, eyebrows furrowed and lips pressed together in concentration, made him momentarily forget the teasing.

“yeah, nothing,” sunoo snorted, covering his smile with his hand. he leaned closer, clearly enjoying jungwon's nervousness.

“wait, what happened?” jay blinked, clearly lost in the conversation. he glanced between sunoo and jungwon, trying to piece together the unfolding drama. “did he actually try to flirt with someone, or are you just messing with him?” his curiosity was evident, and the playful energy in the room only grew as sunoo leaned in closer, ready to spill the details. jungwon, caught off guard, shot him a pleading look, but it was too late, the moment was too ripe for sunoo to resist, as jungwon had never tried anything like this before.

sunoo started explaining how he saw jungwon trying to flirt with a girl while they sang and even pointed at her in the middle of the song, but jay didn’t believe it.

jungwon just kept looking away, his eyes often traveling back to your figure, and left quickly, as he could not figure out if he’d seen you before or not.

“you need to get her name so we can search her up and see her profile,” jay nodded at his friends, a teasing grin on his face. “we can’t have you dating anyone with criminal records.” he laughed, but there was a hint of seriousness in his tone.

“what? i am not doing that!” jungwon defended himself, a hint of indignation in his voice. “also, she doesn’t look like a criminal,” he added, motioning to you with a slight smile, as if that was all the evidence he needed.

both turned in your direction and were completely taken aback by jungwon’s choice of women. they hadn’t expected you to be so different from what they thought his type was, but in a good way. you had an effortless charm and a vibe that radiated confidence, completely contrasting with the image of the old bar.

sunoo raised an eyebrow, a teasing grin spreading across his face. “okay, maybe we need to reconsider our assumptions,” he said, nudging jay, who was equally surprised.

“still, i am not going over there to interrogate her,” jungwon sighed. the idea of checking you out felt both ridiculous and oddly appealing. he shifted in his seat, feeling a mix of embarrassment and intrigue as he tried to focus on anything but the lingering thought of how to approach you normally.

“well if you aren’t, then i am,” jay declared, standing up and pressing his hands on the table with determination. but just as he started to stride over, sunoo yanked him back down by his jacket. “don’t embarrass yourself, that’s dumb” he said, laughter in his voice.

jay fell back in his chair, grumbling, “i’m not dumb, i’m cautious. now, jungwon,” he started, shifting his focus and getting jungwon’s attention, “you go over there, place a hand on her shoulder, and greet her. then, offer to get her something to drink.” he nodded firmly, as if this was the key to success.

jungwon blinked, confusion etched on his face. “i am not actually going to talk to her, i thought it was a joke,” he laughed nervously, adjusting his loose tie as if it might somehow give him more confidence. the laughter around the table faded for a moment as his friends exchanged knowing glances.

sunoo audibly groaned at jungwon’s comment, standing up and pulling his friend to his feet. “come on, enough of this!” he exclaimed, barely giving jungwon a chance to protest before pushing him away from the table. “you’re overthinking it!”

jungwon stumbled slightly, a mix of surprise and reluctance on his face. “wait, sunoo-” he started, but jungwon was too far away to just back down, plus, it wouldn’t hurt talking to you. if you had a boyfriend, you could just reject him, and if you didn’t, we’ll, he’d have to think of an escape plan.

he cautiously walked through the crowd, each step filled with uncertainty, until he finally reached the bar where you were sitting. as soon as he saw your face up close, jay’s little speech went out the window. the nervousness he’d felt moments ago melted away, replaced by an unexpected sense of ease. maybe he didn’t need an escape plan after all.

truthfully, he wasn’t the best at speaking with women. the only ones he’d really talked to were family and coworkers, all older and married. sometimes he wished for that connection, to feel loved and cared for like he did with others all the time with a job like his. though, it felt complicated, like he was always balancing responsibilities with the desire for something more. this was a chance to be genuine, to take a step toward what he truly wanted.

he mustered up all the courage he had and walked up to you, clearing his throat with a slightly awkward fake cough to get your attention. when you turned to look at him, a hint of surprise in your eyes, he felt his heart race.

"may i sit here?" he asked, mentally cursing himself for sounding like a nervous high schooler asking to join someone at lunch. he felt a flush creeping up his neck as he waited for your response.

instead of giving him a weird look, you smiled warmly. "of course." that simple response made jungwon feel a rush of relief, but the nerves still bubbled inside him, threatening to overwhelm. unsure of what to do next, he fumbled with his words, searching for something clever or interesting to say.

but luckily, you saved the awkwardness that would follow if either of you stayed silent. “so, what’s your name, karaoke guy?” you asked, taking a sip from your drink, a playful glint in your eyes.

jungwon looked down and smiled, letting his dimples poke his cheeks. “yang jungwon, and you?” he asked, looking back up at you, his nervousness slowly fading.

“y/n l/n,” you replied, meeting his gaze with a friendly smile.

“you come to this bar often?” he leaned on his hand, his curiosity piqued. he genuinely wanted to know more about you and what drew you here.

you squinted your eyes at him, pursing your lips playfully. “why? do i look like an alcoholic?” you teased, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. to this, he immediately panicked, stuttering out a response. “no, i never said that! i mean, i come here too, and i’m not an alcoholic!” he laughed shyly, the embarrassment creeping in. he was worried he’d said something completely wrong.

you looked away, a smirk forming. "i do come here often. it’s the only place near the hospital that’s open at night."

“wait, you’re a doctor?” jungwon’s eyes widened, genuine surprise lighting up his face. the realization made him even more intrigued by you. it was great that you were all so captivating, and also probably had a lot of determination.

“doctor l/n to you, head of neurosurgery, one of the best in the country,” you said, a mix of pride and seriousness in your voice. you met his eyes again, noticing how captivated he seemed. "what about you?" you asked.

“i’m kind of working with the police,” jungwon said, still in shock at being in the presence of such an important person. the idea of your worlds intertwining intrigued him, and he couldn’t help but wonder how your paths might cross in more ways than one.

“kind of?” you frowned.

“not kind of, sorry, i am,” he corrected himself. “but, talking about you again, as a doctor, i imagine you have very little time for anything right?” he asked nicely.

"my life is at stake for others' lives," you said, pressing your lips together, suddenly reminded that you had promised to be back at the hospital soon. "listen, jungwon, it was really nice meeting you, but i have to go back-" you started, but he cut you off.

"of course, do you have a ride? i can take you if you’d like," he offered, his concern evident as he inched a bit closer.

you shook your head gently. "i brought my car, and i wouldn’t want to pull you away from your friends." you nodded toward them, who were watching you intently but quickly averted their gazes when they caught your eye.

jungwon chuckled, a soft smile playing on his lips. “it’s okay, they’ll live without me for a bit.” there was a sincerity in his voice that made your heart beat. his relaxed demeanor was infectious, and you found yourself drawn to the genuine warmth he exuded.

he leaned in slightly, lowering his voice as if sharing a secret. “honestly, i’d rather be here with you than over there.”.

“really?” you asked. “what’s so special about this conversation?” the playful glint in your eyes encouraged him to say something.

jungwon’s breath caught in his throat for a moment. "well, we’d have to meet again for you to find out," he mustered out a reply, a small smirk tugging at his lips as he looked down at you. something about him made you feel like he was actually interested, but you couldn’t risk it, not now, not when you had a lot of things going on.

“looking forward to it,” you challenged lightly, your voice barely above a whisper, and you leaned back, not realizing the weigh of your words on him.

he helped you down from the tall stool, his hand brushing against yours, sending a thrill through you. "i just mean it. it was great meeting you, y/n."

you met his intense gaze. "thanks, jungwon. you too."

turning to leave, you took a last good look at him before probably not seeing him again after this night, his brown hair slightly toloused, his warm demeanor, and those two dimples that poked his cheeks every time he smiled your way, it made you want to not go back to the hospital ever and stay the whole night talking to him. but that was something that was simply never going to happen, even if you did enjoy being there more than anything.

as you made your way to your sports car, thoughts of yang jungwon flooded your mind, you had just met this man and somehow he had made his presence known to you, and it would be undeniably difficult to make him leave.

BTW: i h8 this chapter and first meetings with a burning passion. somehow i can write fight scenes perfectly fine but not even a good paragraph of first meetings. like, let me cook guys, the other chapters r gonna be good because they alr met and went through the awkward phase. also, pls have mercy on me if i get anything wrong, i am not a doctor nor a cop so i’m just basing this on shows.

EXTRA:

masterlist.

next chapter.

all chapters.

[impala-dreamer]

So, yesterday... I died (almost)

No, seriously.

I've been powerwashing the house... back patio/back deck/sidewalk, etc... yesterday, I wanted to move the machine upstairs to my side deck where the birds hang out. I move the machine to the front of the house, and some of the hose was wrapped around a shrubbery... so I go to untangle it...

And was instantly stung by a bee.

Ok... no biggie.

Then another. Then one on my forehead... then I was swamped by the entire nest. And stung by like 12 bees.

....

I'm not allergic so I'm not worried, just pissed. I run inside, take my shirt off, deal with the bees and take stock. I'm OK, but lemme go take a benadryl anyway. I have one on my nightstand. I go get it and take it to the bathroom bc I'm gonna shower anyway, so I turn on the water and try to open the blister pack of benadryl. My hands start shaking and I can't open it. No way will it open. I start getting dizzy like I'm going to faint (I have a fainting condition so I know the early signs) so I'm like.. ok... if you're gonna have to sit down. And the shower has a seat. So I strip and go into the shower, sit down.

Normally, cold water stops the fainting so I'm like... this is a good idea.

It didn't help. Ok. I'm gonna faint, go lower. So I sat on the shower floor and I'm in the water and

Passed out.

Woke up disoriented, still in the shower. Ok. Get up.

Passed out.

Again. Get up and get out of the shower.

This went on for apparently, 35 mins of me losing consciousness and trying to climb out of the shower to call for help.

Finally, my brain is like.. if you don't get out of the shower you are dying here. So I'm talking outloud to myself as I crawl out of the shower unable to stand or really move my legs. (Btw.. 5 inch shower ledge to crawl over) I somehow get out, slide the phone off the counter, and text my brother 911. (Hubby at work). Then, I lay down kinda twisted on the floor like a chalk outline and keep talking to myself.

Bro comes in... freaks out...

Then the next 40mins are a blurr, but the cops came... 2 shots of epipen, and oxygen before the ambulance got there.

Another shot of epi, a shot of benadryl, another tank of oxygen...

My BP was 57/14.

They couldn't let me sit up even or I'd instantly pass out. Not that I could move.

So they carried me on some sheet thing out of the house, downstairs, into ambulance.

Apparently there were 4 cop cars and 3 ambulances on my lawn...

They got me in and couldn't start driving until they stabilized me..

I started major convulsing bc of all the adrenaline. Like full seizure shaking bad. They couldn't find any veins on me bc small veins and BP deathly low... so we were on my lawn for a while trying to get me ok enough to move.

Finally, I joked "you want me to drive?" Proving that my comedy is pure and part of me, even while on my literal deathbed. ;)

So we got me another shot of benadryl and a shot of steriods...

Drove 20 mins to the closest hospital ... bc I live in the middle of nowhere...

Guy calls in "critical incoming"... which is never great to hear.

We pull in and the hospital guys meeting us looks at me and says "you officially have the lowest blood pressure I have ever heard of on a living person."

Gee thanks! Let's fix this!

So I spent the next 5? Hours in the e.r. critical section hooked up to wires and ivs and ekgs and oxygen.

In the end I had 3 shots of epipen. 3 benadryl shots. Steroids. 2 bags of fluid. 4 panic attacks. 3 tanks of oxygen.

And a hospital turkey sandwich.

So... yeah, if I hadn't talked myself out of the shower with the dregs of my strength and will to not die naked on my shower floor...

I'd be dead.

I'm feeling a ton better today but still not good. I am on the couch and not gonna move.

Also having some theological thoughts about the lack of diving intervention or feeling of godly care.

Basically, my life was saved by myself, my brother, that cop, and Madision and John, my e.m.t.s.

Hope you are all doing better than I am lol

Happy Sunday 💖

[mochinek0]

Daminette December 2023: 14-Poisoned Dagger

Marinette watched the gleam off the dagger as it plunged towards Damian. Call it hero's instinct or you could call it love, but Mari moved quickly and pushed Damian out of the way. She felt the cold steel of the blade dig into her and then get yanked out. Before she could react, she heard a man swear under his breath . The next thing she felt was pain radiating from her cheek. Then, it got dark.

"You ruined the plan, You Stupid Girl!" the man shouted, after backhanding her, "No one else was suppose to get hurt!"

Damian watched as Marinette writhed on the floor, unconsciously. Quick to his feet, Damian disarmed the guy and brought him to his knees. He placed the dagger to his throat.

"I will spill every drop possible unless you inform me of what is happening to her, immediately!" Damian demanded.

"Poison." the guy mumbled, "Mother."

'Mother!'

Out of pure rage, Damian broke his arm. As the man screamed in agony, Damian scooped up Marinette's limp form and took her outside the building. He saw the cops and Batman arrive, in the Batmobile. He quickly made his way over to his father.

"The ambulence-" Batman began.

"Mother did this." his son hissed back.

Batman scooped her up from his son's arms and unlocked the car. Damian quickly jumped into the back as his father placed her carefully in the front seat. They quickly drove back to the cave. The cops watched as the drove off, confused. When they got in, they found the perpetrator had a broken arm. The man saw them and stabbed his thigh.

"I'll never speak." he whimpered before passing out.

Marinette laid on the BatConsole. They were waiting for her blood work to finish scanning and tell them how the poison was affecting her. Damian knew the formulas to the League poisons and was waiting on the results. He slammed his fist on the console.

"New batch." He growled.

"Damian." Bruce spoke.

"Give me time." his son answered, "I'll figure it out."

The Waynes looked at each other unsure. Bruce nodded and the began to head upstairs. Bruce knew more than anyone how complicated the league was and his son's entire childhood was there. Damian was right, he knew more than they did.

Talia entered the Batcave through one of the secret routes that Bruce had once shown her. Her son was passed out in front of the computer. She looked at the screens and saw he was waiting for another analysis on the girl's blood and tox screen.

'Seems my son is infatuated with this one. I should have sent ten men to pick him up. We'd be on our way back to the camp by now.'

Talia walked over to Marinette and looked at her.

'Why my son chose her-'

Talia reached out and felt the air around her become heavy. She quickly pulled away and felt the air return to her lungs.

'Interesting. Damian chose a weilder of magic. I don't expect Bruce will be too happy when he finds out.'

Talia left a small vial with the antidote by her son.

Damian sat up, feeling a rush of cold air by his side, and looked around. Next to him was a small vial.

"Mother." he growled.

Damian quickly inserted a drop of the vial on Marinette's blood and watched as the contents of the vial destroy the poison. He quickly set some off to the side to run analysis on why getting an IV drip ready for his angel. A ping from the computer pulled his attention. It was a match! He quickly started the drip.

"I'm so happy you're okay, Damian." Mari spoke, once she woke up.

"You scared me." Damian replied, before kissing her forehead, "Never again, Habibiti, do I want to see you like that."

"I can't let you get hurt, either." Marinette responded.

"You got hurt because of me and that I cannot forgive." Damian declared, "We've already stitched you up. Relax and let the medicine work. Get some sleep, Angel."

Marinette nodded and closed her eyes, keeping her hand on Damian's.

Talia watched from the distance.

'Yes. She's a good choice for you, Son.'

TAGLIST: @maribat-calendar-events@animeweebgirl@a-star-with-a-human-name@meme991001@vixen-uchiha@abrx2002@alysrose-starchild@fandom-trapped-03@dood-space@moonlightstar64@saltymiraculer@marveldcedits20@09shell-sea09@icerosecrystal@animegirlweeb@insane-fangirl-of-everything@blueblossombliss@nickristus-dreamer@megawhitleycalderonpaganus@missmadwoman@meira-3919@princessdaisysolosyourfaves@blep-23@fangirlingfanatic@darkhinauniverse@ravenr22@im-a-satanic-ritual@ravennm84@bianca-hooks123@a-slytherinish-gryffindor@starling218

[pinazee]

First season wrap up:

Okay, to start, i should mention my general opinion on first seasons for shows, especially cable shows, is not to read too much of it as canon. The writers, producers, actors- everyone- are all trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t, so i give them latitude, particularly when it conflicts with later seasons. That being said, i do enjoy jumping through the hoops to make it all fit haha

So heres a few leftover notes i had as i revisited the eps to rank them:

I bet part of Lassie was craving the father figure in Henry, since we find out later his own father passed away when he was quite young. I wonder if thats part of the reason why he became a cop, as they are portrayed as the protectors and in the 80’s they were mainly men (i don’t really remember if he states his reason later, i suspect he did and im just not remembering). So when Henry didn’t meet up to the expectation he had in his mind, i bet it hurt a little more as it reminded him of what he lost :/

I think the other reason Shawn plays dumb so much, besides hiding his genius so ppl believe hes psychic, or for laughs, is because its how he gets people talking. Like in Shawn vs. the red phantom, he purposely guessed the wrong room number so the boys would correct him. My apologies if someones pointed this out before, i haven’t combed through the internet for everyone’s theories 😬 i only now noticed. I’m not the quickest at picking these things up lol

If i had to guess, Shawn didn’t want to be a cop for halloween, he probably wanted to be something star wars related to go with Gus’s Lando. So i wonder at what age Shawn stopped trying to please his dad. But also, why didn’t his mother ever stand up for him?? I’ll come back to her later -_-

I somehow missed it the first time, but shawn clearly asked Gus to come to the dinner and Gus even points out that it was a big deal for henry to reach out. Soo, yeah, shawn obviously didn’t wanna be alone with his dad, and even henry seemed nervous about it as hes pretty drunk.

Shawn has a right to be afraid of pointy things, his dad hid his easter eggs under glass when he was 6! Not to mention he later gets stabbed 3 times! (Also its just a legitimate fear???)

So far the list of Shawns knowledge (things i wouldn’t expect an average person to know) includes (beyond the obvious observational skills, deductive reasoning, reading people (poker), and all things police (marksmanship, police codes, etc.)):

Incredible spatial and physical reasoning skills (knowing how much money could fit in the duffle bag, knowing to rotate the water pitcher to catch the reflection from the tv)

Kurt Vonnegut (well, I didn’t know who he was at least)

How to spell aggiornamento (and probably all words because of his photographic memory)

Handwriting expert

Casually spoke and understood german

Has every road he’s driven mapped in his brain, and likely all of Santa Barbara

Familiar with paint (enough to know to mix latex enamel for no messy drips)

Animal tracks (i went back and forth on this but ultimately decided he must have known what to look for)

And heres a list of Gus’s niche interests:

Forensics

Spelling bee

Safe cracking

Historic rifles

Comic books

Astronomy (even though he was going to the planetarium for the girl)

Law

Local tennis

Online poker

Lastly, Ive decided instead of ranking them, im putting them in tiers. I feel like too many of them are hitting at the same level and I can’t differentiate:

Sweetest, Juiciest Golden Pineapple Tier

Scary Sherry, Biancas toast (ohmygod i just got the biancas toast 🤦🏽‍♀️)

Blue Psych Logo Tier

Weekend warriors

Forget me not

From the earth to starbucks

Poker? I hardly know her! (Sorry @pineapple-psychic!)

Pepto Bismo Pink Tier

Spelling bee

Pilot

She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me oops hes dead

Who ya gonna call?

Shawn vs the red phantom

Oops Canadian Flag Tier

Cloudy with a chance of murder

9 lives

Game set muuurder

Speak now or forever hold your piece

Woman seeking dead husband, smokers okay, no pets

[ardourie]

Sorry I’m not caught up who is dragos and do you have proof of him starting the rumor?

dragos is a stalker ive had for a couple years now who routinely deletes and remakes blogs bc of posting about rape and pedophilia often theirs a whole run down in the doc in my pinned but tldr version here he started a “sexually harass tyler” day and got ppl to send me genital pictures and descriptions of how they wanted to sexually assault me as a child under my selfies, and obviously it freaked me the fuck out as a csa victim and he came to “apologize”

him being a stalker tho this ofcourse wouldn’t be the last time ive had to block him and his interactions he’s been at this for years like i said and before he got deleted a few months ago he made up the rumor of me being on kiwifarms bc he was mad at me for saying he was racist and calling his friends racist for supporting him

he’s a white guy btw the racism stuff is in the doc but he routinely makes sexual and raceplay comments about black people and has done so to me as well and has doubled down multiple times on what he’s told his friends to send me and other black users who call him out and from above u can see he very clearly isnt a pleasant person, he’s routinely tried to accuse me of random things like getting people swatted by cops and killed to abusing a partner i didnt have to saying i hurt children bc hes mentally unwell and he had admitted to being behind some of the ask sent to random blogs stirring drama, but ofcourse a lot of those blogs already dont like me so they would see those rumors or baits and take it and it would create more shit, he is genuinely fixated on me and it’s. like exhausting. the doc has more proof and such but he’s a fascist white guy who routinely sexually harassed ppl and lies about me and he’s the origin of that kiwifarms screenshot that’s being accused of being me and spread around by that rin tezuka girl

[lookoutjoe]

now this is a song for all of yall that ever had one of them days you know where you wake up with a b52 hangover and your woman is whopping you on the side of your head with a pillow that feels like a baseball bat and she's saying IF YOU STAY OUT DRUNK WITH THOSE PEOPLE YOU CALL YOUR FRIENDS UNTIL FIVE O CLOCK IN THE MORNING ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING HIT MY ASS ON DOWN THE ROAD. yes good morning dear. so you go into the backyard and put the garden hose over the top of your head. going oh god oh god. and you look over and your dog… has died. and i mean, this is a fine bird, man, he can find birds (idk what he's saying here sorry) he can find birds in queens, you know? so you hop in your short (?) and you're beating it for the welfare office right and you see in the rear view window the repro man coming. thats going to cop your car. you just lucked out of that. anyways, down at the place where you get your cheque you got to face one of them poverty pimps right. and she's saying (incoherent mumbling) yes m'am of course oh no of course i would never do anything like that yes thank you very much. bitch. i mean its bad enough that you got to go ask(?) someone 'cause you can't find no job least ways they could teach you to put a little dignity you know what i mean? anyway you figure its time to go back to the house and make things right with your woman. well. in front of your house is a sheriff's car. and there is a man who says. so. andrew j thompson is that you? yes, uh, i have a writ here from shelby county tennessee says you owe three and a half months back alimony on your first wife plus uh penalties and child support. uh. you have ten days to give me, uh… yeah uh 27 hundred thousand dollars or you're going to jail. OW! i mean that's some RUDE SHIT you know what i'm saying? so about this time you just say FUCK IT. and go on down to your favourite watering hole and you crawl up the side of and down into the middle of. and proceed to drown in a bottle of OLD. CROW. BOURBON. DRINKING. WHISKEY. YES. i mean we don't want the fancy stuff man we want to get the job done. you ain't carrying no weapons so you know you ain't gonna get into any trouble, right? as long as you remember how to RUN. it only takes you an hour and half before you start seriously going (slurring) ahhh can i have another one? i dont have i think ive had too much drink… what do you. mannnn. what do you mean man. mannnnn. i had a terrible day! (returns to normal voice) bartender's saying "i dont care if its only ten oclock its last call for you". about this time, this fine, i mean super fine foxy looking woman with the long legs and the hair down to here, flapping her baby blues comes STROLLING by. and you say, OW! and you sobers right quick, right. but having failed the third grade you say something to the effect of: "Are, uh, um. You, uh?" what you really wanna say is, uh, "hey baby. hey why dont you come over and have a drink with me. you alright? yeah, ain't nothing to it. oh, you're just passing through town? mhm. oh, he did? with twenty dollars? in las vegas? well how did you get- no, i ain't gonna ask that. uh, i'm just passing through myself, you know. anyway. sit down and lets you know get right. yo, okay. my, youre fine looking darling. ohh. ohh! hey what'd you say your name was again, yeah?" and this is the song that you wish was playing on the jukebox. cause it's got your whole story. ♬ I was lonesome as I could be...

[byersbootyshorts]

Blood and Tears (S.R.)

When Spencer takes a bullet for you, you struggle to come to terms with what’s just happened.

Word Count: 1,773

Warnings: s9!Spencer, gn!reader, angst, fluff at the end, Spencer getting shot, reader crying, a lot of blood, hospital

this doesn’t really follow the canon episode but I don’t care

You were in the middle of a shootout with a potential unsub. Bullets were flying everywhere and you had no idea where any of your teammates were. You were shooting blind into the building in front of you with no clue as to what your bullets were actually hitting. You heard a shout behind you and instinctually looked around towards the source of the cry. A cop had been hit in the shoulder and was writhing on the ground. The sudden sight of the injured cop caught you so off guard that you almost forgot there were bullets hurtling towards you, until you heard someone shout, “Y/N, watch out!”

And that was when everything started to go blurry. The voice you heard was Spencer’s, warning you of a bullet that was headed straight for you. And now that same bullet was lodged in his neck. He lay bleeding on the ground in front of you. You felt like you were in a trance, moving in slow motion as you dragged his limp body behind an SUV. Spencer’s eyes drifted shut and his breath hitched.

“Hey, Spence, keep your eyes on me,” you said frantically.

You pressed your hand firmly against his wound to try to stop the bleeding but blood still seeped between your fingers and showed no signs of stopping. Spencer kept his eyes open for only a few seconds before he began to lose consciousness.

“No, no, Spencer. Do not shut your eyes. Please, Spencer, look at me,” you panicked.

But his eyes stayed shut.

“Medic! I need a medic!” you screamed at the top of your lungs. You knew you should’ve called for help earlier but you as soon as you saw Spencer fall to the ground it was as if your brain stopped functioning.

“Spencer, open your eyes,” you urged him. “Hurry! Over here!” you called to some silhouettes in the distance who you hoped were medics.

Eventually the medics ran over to you and lifted Spencer onto a stretcher. You held his hand as the medics carried him to the ambulance and didn’t let go as they hoisted him into the back of the vehicle and started speeding to the hospital.

Everything was moving so fast. You could barely breathe. Your whole body was trembling with fear, shock and terror. You tried to make sense of the events that had just unfolded but you couldn’t seem to clear the fog that was clouding your brain. You hoped with every atom in your body that this was all just a bad dream and that you’d wake up to find Spencer lying safely next to you.

But while you didn’t wake up, Spencer did. His eyes opened just a crack and he mumbled incoherently, but at least he was awake. For a moment you felt like you weren’t in a nightmare. You felt that maybe he’d just get up as if nothing happened.

“Spencer, I’m right here. You’re ok,” you said, squeezing his hand.

But just as you felt relief wash over you there was a sudden beeping of machinery.

“Pressure’s dropping. Pulse is threading. Starting a large bore IV,” one of the medics quickly rambled.

“Huh?” you breathed, unable to comprehend what the medic was saying.

“Agent, you need to stand back,” the other medic ordered you.

You moved to the back of the ambulance and sat with your head in your hands, rocking back and forth.

“Stay with me. God, please stay with me, Spence,” you mumbled to yourself.

It wasn’t long (although to you it felt like hours) until you arrived at the hospital. More medics opened the doors of the ambulance and swiftly moved Spencer onto a gurney. Once again, you grabbed his hand as he was wheeled through the tall glass doors of the hospital. You raced down endless hallways until you reached the door to the operating room.

“Agent, you can’t come in here,” a surgeon told you.

“But, I-,” you began, but in your mind you knew you couldn’t be in there with him.

“I’m sorry. We’ll do everything we can,” the surgeon said as you let go of Spencer’s hand and watched as he disappeared into the operating room.

You didn’t know where to go so you slumped against a wall and onto the floor in the hallway that led to where Spencer was in surgery. About thirty minutes passed and you didn’t move from your position. You had your head between your knees. You couldn’t think. Your mind was reeling, trying to make sense of what had happened. You had heard Spencer shout. And then all of a sudden he was on the ground with blood spewing out of his neck. And then it hit you. That bullet was meant for you. He had tried to warn you and then jumped in front of you.

Before you had time to process your new realisation you heard familiar voices coming your way.

“Y/N, you ok?” Alex asked, her eyebrows furrowed with concern.

 You looked up to see your team standing above you. All of them shared Alex’s worried expression.

“Spencer,” was all you could manage to mumble.

“We know,” Hotch said. “How long has he been in surgery?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered. Morgan leaned down beside you and helped you off the floor. You noticed the bandage around his arm. Still, your teammates maintained their concerned expressions.

“Hey, how about we go get you cleaned up?” JJ asked softly, holding out her hand to you.

“What?” you said, not understanding why you needed to be ‘cleaned up’. JJ grabbed your hand and for the first time you saw it.

You looked down at your hands and saw that they were covered in blood. Your sleeves were drenched red. You could only imagine what your face looked like considering you’d been sitting with your head in your hands. Your entire face was probably stained with blood.

Spencer’s blood. Not your blood. Spencer’s.

And that’s when everything came crashing down on you. The fact that Spencer had saved your life. The fact that he was in critical condition, fighting for his life because he took a bullet that was meant for you. The fact that you were covered in his blood. So much blood you couldn’t fathom how he could possibly still be alive.

Every realisation hit you at once and, for the first time, you cried. A loud sob escaped you and you almost fell to the floor before Alex caught you and pulled you into a hug. You were staining her clothes with blood but you didn’t care. You wept into her shoulder and she rubbed your back gently.

When you pulled away from her she said, “Why don’t you go with JJ now?” You did as she asked and followed JJ down the hallway, further and further away from Spencer.

It had been hours. JJ had helped wash the blood off you and got you a change of clothes. Once you’d started crying it had been hard to stop. Your body was alternating between sobbing and going numb. Different members of the team had come over and attempted to comfort you but you couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying. All you could focus on was the door that you hoped a doctor would walk through to tell you Spencer was out of surgery.

And finally, a doctor appeared.

“Spencer Reid,” he announced to the waiting room.

“Yes,” you said, practically leaping from your chair. The whole team crowded around the doctor.

“He’s stable.”

Every one of you sighed in relief. A tear rolled down your face and Morgan rubbed your arm.

“I knew that kid was a fighter,” Rossi smiled.

“Can I see him,” you asked, your throat hoarse from shouting and crying.

“He’s not awake yet, but yes, you can see him,” the doctor said.

He led you down more narrow corridors to a recovery room. When you entered you saw Spencer lying unconscious on the bed. His neck was wrapped with bandages and his face was paler than you’d ever seen it. But apart from that he looked no different than how he looked before being shot.

You darted across the room and pulled a chair over to the bedside. You laced your fingers in his and couldn’t help but cry again. Except this time they weren’t tears of sadness, but tears of relief.

You laid your head on the bed, your hand still holding his, waiting for him to wake up. You had no idea how long you’d been there when you felt Spencer’s fingers start to twitch against your hand. You whipped your head up from the sheets to see Spencer’s eyes slowly flicker open.

“Oh my God,” you sniffed.

Spencer turned his head towards you, trying to figure out where he was. When he finally got his bearings he smiled tiredly at you.

“Why are you crying? I’m the one who got shot,” he said groggily, wiping a tear from your cheek.

You let out a choked chuckle and kissed his hand.

“It’s kind of hard not to cry when you don’t know if the man you love is dead or alive,” you replied.

“Well, I’m pretty sure I’m alive,” Spencer smiled weakly up at you.

You stared into his eyes for a moment, so happy to see them open again. Spencer shifted in the bed slightly and winced when he moved his neck.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” you said, helping him readjust his pillows.

“Done what?” Spencer asked, as if it wasn’t obvious.

“That bullet was meant for me.”

“I’m not sorry,” Spencer said bluntly.

“Well, you should be,” you told him off. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“Hmm, I’m not really in a rush to try it again. Once was enough for me,” Spencer joked.

“I’m serious, Spence. I cannot lose you,” you said, placing your hand on his chest. “I love you.”

“I love you too. That’s why I took that bullet for you.”

You took a deep breath and finally allowed your muscles to relax. You closed your eyes and took a moment to let all the stress of the past couple of hours drain from your body. When you opened your eyes again, Spencer was staring up at you longingly.

“Now, can you please kiss me because I want to kiss you but I can’t really move,” he said, pointing at his bandages.

“If you insist,” you smiled, leaning down gently, making sure not to move his neck too much. You placed your lips on his and tried to forget all the blood and tears you’d just endured.

[shoutoutout]

I've started up another Harlivy fic and was digging through my docs and found this old version of the noses & kneecaps section of she breaks (out, down, through). I cut it way down and changed up the setting for the published version but this Harley quote had me giggling so I thought I'd post here for folks!

Harley turns to the chef.  “If you fucking spit in this food I will literally gut you right now, you hear me?  I’m not letting my bestie eat any of your loogies so tell me if you did because she’ll fucking know, alright?  This bitch will taste them and then you’ll be dead and the misses and junior over there are gonna have a sad as shit Christmas this year.”

You can read the rest under the cut

Surprising no one, Ivy’s not that great at the whole “friendship” thing.

For starters, she has no frame of reference by which to judge.  Like her namesake, she was a wallflower as a child and when high school rolled around she bloomed into a sarcastic loner with Indigo Girls blasting through her headphones.  It left little room for normal girl shit like… well… she would name something if she knew.

But even still, with all her lack of experience, she’s pretty sure that this—Harley’s idea of friendship—is not quite normal.

“I could use some new threads.” Harley calls Ivy out of the blue on a Wednesday evening.  “Cops confiscated all the stuff back at my old place… not like I’d wear any of it anymore.  God, I was such a tightass wasn’t I, Ives?  So how about it?  A girl’s day out?”

Ivy doesn’t know what to say, knuckles pale green where they grip the phone.  She regrets giving Harley her number.  (And by “giving” she means Harley snatching the phone from her pocket and calling herself before Ivy had the chance to stop her.)  The thought of strolling through a department store with Harley causes her anxiety to ratchet the way it did when the pretty girls would laugh at her in English class.  What would they even talk about for fuck’s sake?

Not much to start, it turns out.  Harley’s version of shopping is a lot less mundane and a lot more criminal.  They end up taking twelve hostages in Bergsduff’s and leaving with two hundred thousand in designer goods.  Muzak plays idly in the background as Harley holds the salesclerk at gunpoint, parading him around the floor while Ivy snatches up some cute summer looks.  His nose drips blood from where she pistol-whipped him upon entrance.

“Hey, try those on,” Harley suggests, waving the gun wildly towards a pair of gold-rimmed sunglasses.  The hostages in her line of fire duck and scramble when it points in their direction.  “Those’ll look real hot on you!  Perfect for your face shape.”

Even the sales clerks—with the barrel of Harley’s gun poking between his shoulder blades—can’t help but agree.

Ivy slips them into her pocket.

They go to dinner.

“And it better be fucking vegan, alright?!” Harley screeches through the kitchen door.  When she turns back to Ivy, she’s all grins and bubbles.  “He said it should be right out!” she relays, skipping back towards the table.

Ivy glances towards the chef’s wife and son where they lay bound and gagged, piled in the living room corner.  Harley had arranged a “private meal” by Gotham’s hottest new chef after Ivy had told her the reservations for his restaurant were usually booked a month in advance.

“Are you sure we don’t have to worry about them?” Ivy asks with a skeptical slant towards their hostages?

“Nah,” Harley dismisses.  “They’re chill.”

Their captive hosts nod in agreement, wide-eyed and terrified.

They talk about boys.

“So like I was saying,” Harley picks up where she left off, twirling a fork between two fingers.  “Joker has some real ripe areas for improvement with the overall rollout of his new brand vision before the Legion of Doom induction, ya know?  Just some things I’m helpin’ him out with… order of operations and stuff like that.”

Ivy’s thankful Harley’s doing all the talking.  She fills the space with an endless stream of stray observations and chatter.

She gets a dreamy look in her eye, resting her head against her palm.  “I mean, he’s a real genius, ya know?  It’s pure art what he does.”  (Ivy wants to vomit but the food is coming soon.)  “And don’t ever tell him I said otherwise”—she sits up, clasping her hands together—“but in general, there’s a lack of foresight to some of his schemes.  Like escape plans, for example.  Usually he has it all figured out when Batsy arrives—how to get away that is—but not for the whole crew, ya know?”

Ivy narrows, not quite getting at what she’s saying.

Harley shimmies closer in her chair, propping her elbows on the table.  “Okay, okay, so like, there’ll be a getaway car, right?  But it’s one of those clown cars, like a tiny one.  Only this clown car isn’t like a clown car where it can fit all the rest of us; it’ll just fit him.”  She pauses to let Ivy consider.  “Is that… is that funny?  Like ha-ha Joker-level theatrics?”

Ivy’s dumbfounded.  “A clown car that’s just a regular tiny car…that only Joker can escape in… and he leaves you all behind to get caught,” she summarizes, doubt dripping from her tongue.  “So you’re telling me he just like, takes off in a Smart car?”

“Yes!” Harley nods, excitedly.  Her jester’s cap bounces with the motion.  “Exactly!  Just a Smart car for one.  It could use some work, right?”

Ivy doesn’t even know where to begin.  Luckily the chef returns, placing two gorgeous plates of food before them.  Harley squeals beside her and Ivy snaps to attention, grabbing her fork.  It smells fucking heavenly as it comes to her mouth but then Harley’s hand is strong around her wrist, stopping her mid-bite.

Harley turns to the chef.  “If you fucking spit in this food I will literally gut you right now, you hear me?  I’m not letting my bestie eat any of your loogies so tell me if you did because she’ll fucking know, alright?  This bitch will taste them and then you’ll be dead and the misses and junior over there are gonna have a sad as shit Christmas this year.”

He shakes his head and whimpers; Harley seems satisfied.  They dig in.

“Oh my god,” Ivy says, flavor dancing across her taste buds.  “This is like… orgasmic.”

Harley preens.  “Only the best for my friend!”

Friend.  It rolls so easily off of Harley’s tongue and Ivy wonders what it is exactly that makes this shit so hard for her.  Ivy tries to play along but she’s transported back to English class with Melinda Jenkins snickering every time Ivy raised her hand.  “Ha,” she tries.  “I owe ya one… pal.”

God, she’s a fucking dork but Harley couldn’t care less.  She pounces.  “Come to me and J’s Legion of Doom induction then?!” she asks like the question was burning a hole through her tongue.  “It’s this weekend.  We can drink all of Lex’s fancy-ass champagne.  Please?  Please?  Please, Ivy?”

Harley puppy-dog pouts and Ivy’s stomach flips.  Is this normal friend shit?  She has no idea.

“I’m sorry but fuck no.  No way.  Literally anything but that.”  Harley will just have to deal; Ivy is decidedly not a good friend.