#& its just the beginning too YIPPEE!!

[spaciebabie]

i dunno i really feel like i want katherine quin ta b surrounded by horrible things happening ta all the ppl she cares abt and she can only just watch lol

[stevie-petey]

chapter six: e pluribus unum

“There’s my pretty girl!” Steve giggles, head lolling to the side as he admires you. “Isn’t she the prettiest, Robin?” Robin giggles as well, her face just as bruised and bloodied as his. “So pretty!”  “Oh God,” despite their injured state, the two teens are in an unusually good mood. They giggle like school girls, Robin even bats her eyelashes at you. Something is off with them. “How hard did they hit your heads?”

Summary: things get hot and heavy in the face of death, mean russians kidnap your hot almost-boyfriend, you have a philosophical discussion about nerdiness with the kids, acid becomes your new favorite weapon, and steve and robin try drugs together. yippee !

Rating: general, some swearing

Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, violence, cursing, blood and mentions of death, use of weapons

Words: 6.7k

Before you swing in: oh BOY do i have a lot to say about this chapter ,,, but for now i will hold off. pls, enjoy her. youve all waited so very patiently for this moment, and im SO excited to see what yall have to say <333

-

“The gate,” you, Steve, and Dustin breathe out at the same time. You stare at the machine before you; the gravity of the situation settles upon all of you as the machine continues to send pulses of light into the entrance of the Upside Down. 

The lights flash, the blue flickers across your face as countless men in lab coats marvel at their creation, and your hands tighten into fists. What they have created will only undo the endless hours you have spent trying to protect everyone, it diminishes every sacrifice that has been made, it taunts the blood that has been spilled. 

You hate them, you hate what they have brought back into your life. 

“We have to get out of here.” No one argues with you, and quickly you guide everyone downstairs.

“What’s going on?” Robin asks as you gently push her down the stairs, quickening her pace. The urgence of your actions, however, only alert her that something is wrong. “Why do you guys look so scared?”

Days of hiding the truth from her have finally caught up to you, you can feel it, and yet there isn’t anything you can really tell her. Not yet, at least; there isn’t enough time. Hurrying down the stairs, you shake your head at Robin. “It’s a lot to explain.”

“I don’t understand, you’ve seen this before?”

She’s always been too perceptive.

You hate her genius mind. 

“Not exactly.” Steve takes over now, trying to help.

Robin’s voice raises, she’s becoming inpatient. “Then what, exactly?”

Two of them argue and Dustin joins in, though you ignore them and reach the last step to start looking for any possible weapons in the room. If you guys have even the slightest chance of making it out of here alive, then you’ll need more than your switchblade and Steve’s surprising new combat skills. 

As your eyes scan the room, you realize, too late, that the Russian guard Steve had knocked out only minutes ago is now gone. Horrified, you frantically whip your head to find him, but the man is gone. 

Wonderful. 

Erica notices this too. “Um, Steve? Where’s your Russian friend?”

With impeccable comedic timing, lights begin to flicker above you as an alarm sounds. Seems the Russian guard snitched, then. 

“Oh, shit!” Your switchblade finds its way into your hand. This just keeps getting worse and worse.

Steve curses as well and sprints to the door to open it, trying to find another way out, but instead he finds a swarm of guards all staring back at him. Cursing again, he slams the door shut. He doesn’t have to say anything, you know by the look on his face that you’re in deep shit. “Go, go, go!”

Blindly you shove Dustin and Erica into the nearest door, tugging at Robin, and Steve takes the rear as the group starts to run. Your senses are in overdrive, your head swims with anxiety and your eyes flicker to any possible way out. Your legs ache with exertion, but you have no fucking idea where you are. 

You make a sharp right and open a random door, but almost immediately you stumble to a halt when you see that it’s the room to the goddamn machine opening the Upside Down. Of course this is the room you chose. The scientists all stare at you, and you really wish you had stayed in bed yesterday. “Fuck!”

“Go, Y/N!” Dustin yanks on your arm and goes left, finding stairs to run down.

You risk a quick look over your shoulder and your heart drops when you see that the Russian guards are close behind. “We got company!” You’re on the landing platform now, too close to the machine and the gate for your own comfort. Dustin screeches as he shoves a Russian against the railing. You wince, feeling bad despite the horrible circumstances. “Sorry!”

“Why are you apologizing to the Russians–holy shit–” Gripping the back of your brother’s shirt, you save him from face planting into the giant laser beam. “Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!”

Steve and the others have joined now, and you realize how helplessly cornered the five of you are. You’re standing on the edge of the platform and the laser’s heat can be felt even six feet away while twenty armed Russian soldiers approach from behind. 

Defeated, helpless, terrified, you turn to the person whose hand rests gently on the small of your back; the only person who gives you solace. “Steve.” 

It’s all you can say, your knees feel weak and your body turns to his, helpless. You don’t know what else to do. Steve’s eyes find yours, he can feel Dustin looking to him for help as well. Robin, Erica. Everyone is looking to him, and yet he’s just as terrified. 

“This way!” He doesn’t know where he’s going, he just knows that he has to protect you. Running back down the stairs, he shoves a guard that blocks the path and you’re right behind him, pushing barrels at more guards that round the corner so that no one else can follow. 

“Go!” You wave the others ahead, now taking the rear with Steve. The two of you do whatever you can to slow the Russians down as Robin leads the kids towards another door. You’re all blindly running through the endless walls of the facility.

The door flies open and everyone rushes into the room. 

Everything happens quickly after that.

Steve slams the door while you hold the kids behind you, away from the door and fearful of the bullets that may rain through it. Steve braces his back against the door. The Russians pound the frame from the other side. 

Madly looking around for any sign of an exit, your body fills with unbearable dread when you realize that you’ve locked yourselves in a room without any way out. 

Dustin’s scared hand grips at your arm. He seems to realize what you already have. “Shit!”

“Robin!” Steve calls out to her, desperate. He’s rapidly losing his footing to hold his position as the guards’ fists rage a relentless war. “Help me, come on!”

She runs to him and throws her back against the door as well, and the distress in Steve’s voice only hastens you as you run around the room. There has to be a way out. You refuse to die like this, far below Hawkins and the sunlight you’ve come to love within the small town. 

Breath quickening, you rush up the steps within the room and drag Dustin along with you. Robin’s face is red now, Steve’s feet keep slipping, and from the force of which the door they hold thuds, you know the guards have started to throw their own bodies against it. 

Something creeks below your foot. You look down and inexplicably hope jumps into your chest. There’s a vent grate, this entire underground facility is full of air ducts, it’s how you got into this entire fucking mess in the first place. “Here! I found something!”

Erica joins you and Dustin and quickly the three of you pry the vent open. You help Erica lower herself inside, instructing her to start crawling, now, when Dustin shouts down to Robin and Steve. “Come on!”

“Go! Just get out of here!” Steve screams back, groaning as the pounding on the door becomes more and more violent. 

Your hand, which had been on your brother’s back, ready to help him inside the air duct next, stills. Your entire body freezes as you look over at Steve, ice cold fear crawls up your neck; doubt creeps in as you realize, far too late, that there isn’t enough time for them to escape into the vent. 

There never seems to be enough time. 

But you have to try anyway. All you ever do is try, you will die trying, you just can’t let it be in vain. “Steve, Robin, let’s go!”

Steve clenches his teeth as another body throws itself against the door. Through his exertion he can see how pale you are now, the realization that dawns on you that you will have to leave him behind, and Steve wishes he could kiss the despair off of your pretty face. “No! Just go and get some help, okay?”

“I–I can’t–” Dustin tugs at your shirt to come with him, but your body is unmoving. You can’t, you won’t leave them behind, Steve’s biceps strain against the doorframe and Robin groans in pain, and yet your brother’s fearful grip on you reminds you of your responsibility to him as well. To protect him, to get Erica home, be with them.

But Steve is in danger. He needs you.

You don’t know what to do. 

“Y/N!” Dustin calls after you as you tear yourself away from him.

Blindly, as your vision darkens and the terror in your body threatens to consume you, you stumble down the steps towards Steve. You need to be close to him, it’s all your mind and body can register as the roaring in your head nearly deafens you.

As soon as you’re in front of him, grasping at his shoulders to try and take him with you, Steve pushes you away. “Y/N, you need to leave–”

“I’m not leaving you!” The shrillness scares even yourself, the sheer desperation to stay with Steve comes deep from within your chest as you scream at him. You’re panicking now, angry at him for even considering the idea that you’d ever leave him. As if you haven’t just gotten him back.

You’re never letting go of him now that you have him. 

Not again. 

Robin tries to reason with you herself, distantly you think she pleads with you, but your vision tunnels and all you can see is Steve. Your body hums with the need for his.

“Y/N, listen to me,” Another thud against the door, Robin’s foot slips, and Steve has to throw his head back and brace for yet another impact. He’s angry at you, too. For not listening to him. For how you’ve always blindly sacrificed yourself, harmed yourself to protect others.

Steve won’t let you hurt yourself anymore, not when he can save you.

Not again.

“The kids need you–”

“I need you!” Tears wet your face now, you’re clutching at Steve’s shirt as Dustin continues to scream at you to run, to not abandon him, and it feels as if you can’t breathe as words begin to tumble from your mouth with hysteria. “We–we can run, right now! You’re fast, and–and Robin can jump and–”

Steve’s lips crash against yours. 

He’s weak and scared and helpless; this is the only way he knows how to get you to listen. 

You breathe in sharply as his lips move against yours, you melt into him. He pours everything into the kiss, your teeth knock against his and your hands find his hair, tugging at it as Steve tries to convey everything that time won’t allow him to. 

The kiss is rushed, it’s messy and it’s aching, and through it Steve begs you. To love him despite the fact that he has to leave you, that he’s doing this for you, he begs you to remember him, and selfishly he kisses you because he doesn’t want to die knowing he’s wasted half the damn summer without ever knowing how your lips felt against his. 

It isn’t death that terrifies Steve, it’s the idea that he almost died without knowing how you tasted. 

When Steve finally pulls away, you’re too shocked to move. His lips are tinged pink and his brown eyes are dark in the lighting and you’re both breathless. Your hands remain in his hair, all you can register is how the strands feel between your fingers and that Dustin is now at your side, yanking at your arm to follow him back towards the vent. 

Numbly you allow Steve’s hands to help Dustin move your limp body, your feet rise to reach the steps. The warmth of Steve’s body is gone now. Faintly you feel your brother’s firm, but gentle, hands as he shoves you inside the vent.

There’s a tugging within your chest suddenly, an overwhelming sensation to turn around, and abruptly you come back to yourself. The roaring in your head quiets for only a moment, the lights are bright and Dustin’s fingers dig into your skin, yet still your eyes find Steve.

He’s far below you now, the Russians have almost broken through the door, and his kiss still sears your lips. Urgently, viciously, you scream the only thing you can think of that encompasses all the love and terror within you, “Come home to me!”

Steve opens his mouth to promise you that he will, he always will. You can hear the promise even before he’s said it, but the doors burst open and Dustin slams the vent’s grate down. 

You ran out of time. 

The echo of the grate’s slam rings in your ears. 

– 

Erica is the one that guides you through the air ducts. 

You haven’t said anything since leaving Steve and Robin behind; it’s been hours now, and yet still you do not speak.

Dustin crawls behind you, worried. He watches your body shake slightly as you crawl through the narrow space. His stomach lurches when he notices how white your knuckles have become from how tightly you clench your fists. 

You’re clinging onto what little resolve you have left, it’s evident to Dustin, and he worries about when, not if, you’ll finally snap. He knows that now isn’t the right time to initiate a code blue, but he’s concerned seeing you so broken. He hates that he can’t do anything, that he dragged you away from the others. 

The air inside the ducts is warm, almost nauseatingly so, and the ringing in your ears has yet to fade. Steve’s kiss still burns your lips. His promise to you, that he would return and come back home to you, the promise that he couldn’t make, drowns out all of your other thoughts. 

Come home to me.

He hadn’t had time to answer you. 

The thought nauseates you more than the sickening heat that surrounds you. You left him. Robin, too. 

You left them both behind, just like you left Will behind the night the Demogorgon got him. And the kids, that night when you abandoned them at the middle school and left them vulnerable to that fucking monster. And Jonathan, when he thought his brother had died and you were too lost in your self pity when he needed you the most. 

Now, after promising Steve you’d stay, sworn in the passenger seat of his car as the snow fell around you both, you’ve left him once more. 

Take all the time you need, I’ll be here.

The promises you’ve made burn so deeply that a wince escapes your lips, and Dustin quietly asks if you’re okay. 

“‘M fine,” you manage to rasp out, crawling forward despite the tormented tugging that begs you to turn around.

You hear Dustin’s lips part, he doesn’t believe you and wants to argue, but you keep your head turned away from him and he instead settles on sighing. You’re not ready to talk about it, not yet. Not now, not when you feel as if you’ve lost a piece of yourself. 

Erica turns a corner and starts to slow down. “Fans up ahead.”

“Great,” Dustin groans when he sees the giant blades spinning, blocking the way forward. “Think we could time it right and jump through them?”

“If you wanna lose a head, sure.” Erica snorts, unpleased with the risky idea. “Don’t you have tools in those lame ass cargo shorts you’re wearing?”

“My cargo shorts aren’t lame…”

You sit quietly as Dustin and Erica try and figure out what to do. You’re still in shock, you can’t gather the energy to try and help them. It’s like a switch has been flipped inside of you, deactivating your ability to do anything other than be plagued with the crippling sensation of loss. 

Eventually Erica convinces Dustin to try and break into the control panel next to the fans and shut them down manually. He pulls a screwdriver from one of his pockets (to Erica’s utter amusement), and starts unscrewing the bolts. Through it all, you remain quiet, and when Dustin looks over at you, he finds you staring blankly at the walls with an almost lifeless gaze.

He sighs. Needing to distract himself, Dustin figures now is as good a time as any to explain everything to Erica. The Russians, why they’re here, why you’ve almost lost your mind trying to protect everyone. “It all started the night Will disappeared, two years ago.”

Dustin explains the Upside Down, the Demogorgon and how it was able to travel to their world through a gate El had accidentally opened with her powers, and now how the Russians have somehow found this gate and are attempting to reopen it.

Erica, to her credit, listens. She doesn’t question a thing, and Dustin is surprised by her lack of sarcastic input, but when he finishes explaining everything, the girl only has doubts about one thing: Lucas being involved. 

“Wait, so you believe everything about El and the gate, and the Demodogs and the Mind Flayer, but you question your brother’s involvement?” Dustin asks the girl, in disbelief of how her mind works. 

“That’s correct.”

Then, surprising them both, you finally speak. “Lucas is brave, Erica. He’s done a lot for the party.”

Erica’s stony expression softens slightly, her usual argumentative demeanor backs down. “Yeah, well. Whatever. You’re damn lucky it’s your birthday and I feel bad for you.”

It’s not much, but you know that she’s spared you her malice. For once you accept the sympathy, even if your luck has run out hours ago when Steve kissed you and then tore you apart. “Lucky,” you snort. “Yeah.”

Dustin and Erica look at one another wearily, though you pretend you don’t see it. After a few heartbeats, your brother clears his throat and goes back to unscrewing the control panel.

“Um, you need help with that?” Erica asks the boy, doubtful of his capabilities. When Dustin tells her no, she doubles down. “I mean, it’s taking a while, so–”

Dustin huffs at her. “Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.”

“Don’t cuss at her.” You butt in, but Erica has already started back with her arguing. 

She claims that at the slow pace you’re going, Steve and Robin stand no chance, and her words make the nausea claw up your throat. Dustin notices the way you clutch at your stomach and he quickly tries to reason with Erica, maybe say that she’s wrong, but the girl only continues to talk. 

“I mean, we’ve made it about point-three miles in nine hours.” Erica looks down at her watch as she speaks, but her eyes almost swim with the numbers you assume she envisions in her mind. “Then we had to walk three hours down that tunnel, so I’d estimate ten miles back to the elevator, which should take us approximately twelve and a half days.”

You and Dustin look at each other, baffled. No way Erica managed to come up with those numbers all on her own. Sure, you’ve always secretly suspected that she was more intelligent than she let on, but Jesus. You can hardly remember the multiples of seven on a good day. 

“Did you just do all of that in your head?” Dustin asks her, eyes wide with astonishment.

Erica shrugs. “I’m good with numbers.”

“That’s an understatement,” you mumble under your breath, though you’re starting to feel more like yourself again. Dustin calls Erica a nerd, which she adamantly denies, and the light hearted conversation almost seems to draw you out of your state of shock, albeit slowly. 

Your brother lists off all the proof he has of Erica’s “nerdiness” and you listen, chuckling. The genuine offense on the girl’s face is hard not to laugh at, and when Dustin sees that it seems to be cheering you up, he doubles down on his efforts. 

“Fact number three: you love My Little Pony.” He holds up Erica’s backpack that has two ponies printed across it, which you snort at.

Erica crosses her arms defensively. “And what does My Little Pony have to do with this?”

“Let’s recall the ponies’ latest adventure, shall we?” Dustin clears his throat and begins retelling the tales of the ponies, and you cannot believe that your fourteen year old brother still watches the show and pays enough attention to understand its themes and narrative. “Ergo, My Little Pony is nerdy. Ergo, you, Erica, are a nerd.”

“Not to take sides,” you poke your head between the two kids. “But why do you know so much about the show, Dustin?”

“Because I’m a nerd.” He manages to get the control panel open and rips the wires out of it. Electric sparks fly as they disconnect and the fans behind you slowly come to a stop. “Now, let’s go, nerds.”

Erica glares at him before turning to you. “Do you watch My Little Pony, Y/N?”

You shake your head. “No, I’m not that pathetic. I read comics instead, like the mature seventeen year old I am.”

The girl rolls her eyes at you, entirely over you and your brother, and starts crawling through the air ducts once more. As she leaves, Dustin stays behind. “Hey,”

His hand wraps around your arm and stops you from following Erica. You pause, confused as to what he may want. “Yeah?”

“Are you okay?” In the lighting, for just a moment, Dustin looks up at you and he’s the nine year old little boy who once feared you would get lost in your mother’s grief and father’s anger.

The last icy tendrils of shock melt, you come back to yourself when you hear your little brother’s fear for his sister. Taking Dustin’s hand into yours, you squeeze it. “Of course I’m okay. I have you.” 

Dustin laughs softly, relief evident within his exhale, and you yank his hat off of his head to break the remaining tension away. He lunges for it, betrayed, though he laughs again anyways, and for a few seconds it’s just the two of you giggling to yourselves as you fight over the hat. 

“Are you two shitbirds coming, or do I gotta kill those Commies on my own?” Erica shouts, now on the other side of the air duct.

With one last tug, Dustin tears the hat from your grasp and sticks his tongue out at you. “Last one to Erica owes the other $5!” He starts speed crawling towards the girl, giving you absolutely no chance of winning, and you hang your head in defeat and sigh.

The fucker owes you so much money already.

–

It takes hours.

Back aching and knees bruised, you crawl behind the kids in the seemingly endless maze that resides in the facility’s air ducts. It’s similar to the tunnels you walked through what feels like years ago originally, with Steve holding your hand through it all, though you know it couldn’t have been less than a day ago now.

The entire time, your mind doesn’t once quiet its concern for Steve and Robin. Just when the pounding in your head becomes splitting, Dustin stops you and Erica.

“Y/N, help me remove the vent.”

“Why, what’s up there?” You’re next to him, squinting through the grate’s small holes. All you see are what appear to be a line of vaults, though it’s hard to tell. “I don’t see anyone.”

Dustin starts prying at the vent. “Exactly, there’s no one up there and look, can’t you see it?”

You squint again, getting even closer to the holes to peer inside. Something glows bright green on one of the vault’s shelfs. “Is that…?”

“Uh huh. Now help me, will you?”

It takes a minute or so before you’re able to pry the vent open. Together, the two of you slowly lift your heads through the opening and look around. The room you’ve ended up in is empty. Along its walls are rows of vaults with multiple vials of the green chemicals you found in the elevator. 

You’re not entirely sure what your brother has in mind, but you know it can’t be anything good.

“Jackpot!” Dustin breathes out with newfound exhilaration. He climbs out of the air duct first and eagerly starts looking around while you help Erica out. 

The two kids look around in amazement, but you survey the area out of habit. It’s too quiet within the room. Being so close to the chemicals again leaves you on edge. “Stay close to me, we don’t know who could be nearby–”

“Oh!” Dustin abandons your caution in a heartbeat. He starts running down the steps, and when you see what’s gotten him so excited, you follow after him. There’s a cart right at the bottom of the stairs, parked to the side without anyone in it. 

It could be your ticket out of here, if you’re lucky.

“Do you even know how to drive?” Erica teases Dustin, but you step past her and join him to inspect the vehicle. 

He waves an indifferent hand at her. “How hard can it be? Max did it.”

“That was the worst car ride of my life” You shiver at the memory. The taste of blood fills your mouth and you can almost feel the bruises again. Shaking your head, you force yourself to focus. “Think you could hotwire this?”

Dustin furrows his brows and ducks his head under the wheel. He shuffles around, mumbling to himself, before he curses. “No, it’s one of those fancy, expensive carts. Which is goddamn ironic for people who hate wealth. We need a key.”

“Okay, that’s not how Communism necessarily works–”

“Did you two seriously think they’d leave keys in there?” Erica interrupts you, cutting straight to the point as she always does. 

Dustin starts digging around the cart now. He checks the mirror compartment, under the seat, wherever his hands can reach. “There’s gotta be a spare…” When he comes up with nothing, he shoves you out of the cart. “Go and look inside the vault room.”

“A ‘please’ wouldn’t hurt.” Though you do as you’re told, trusting that the room is secure enough to leave him and Erica alone for a few minutes as you look.

There are vials everywhere, but no signs of a spare key. You wander the rows, the green liquid glows ominously. Drawing your face closer to one of the vials, the liquid bubbles in its glass container. This small, inconspicuous vial is what melted cement back at the elevator.

An idea comes to you. 

“Dustin,” you call over your shoulder, eyes still on the chemical. “What if we grabbed some of these vials and used them as some kind of weapon? I mean, it’s some pretty powerful stuff.” No one responds, which you frown at. It’s then that you realize it’s become suspiciously quiet, and with your heartbeat in your throat, you run back towards the kids. 

You find Dustin with spare keys in his hand, a proud smile on his face. “Found ‘em.”

“I’m going to start making you pay me every time you give me a goddamn heart attack.” A hand rests against your chest as you try to lower your heart rate. “I mean, this just can’t be good for me–”

A loud, spine tingling crack of electricity zaps behind you.

Screaming, you jump at the noise and into Dustin’s side. You both turn around, coming face to face with a giant electric prod held by a smiling Erica. 

“What the hell is that?” Dustin shouts at her, fear still in his voice. 

“A deadly weapon.” She zaps it again and the sound is deafening. “Could be useful.”

Both hands on your chest now, you hunch over and try to not to have a heart attack right then and there. “You kids are going to kill me one day.” You swallow, take a deep breath. “God, why can’t we stick with knives? They’re quiet, quaint. Not at all terrifying.”

“Knives against Commies? I thought you wanted to save your boyfriend, Y/N.” Erica swings the prod as she speaks and you hold your hands up.

“Let’s not swing that around, okay? The last thing I need today is to be electrocuted by that thing.” When she lowers the prod, you continue. “But…  you should keep it. It’ll be useful for saving Steve and Robin.”

Dustin steps in front of you. “Wait a minute, aren’t you always lecturing me about being realistic? We don’t even know where they are.”

“And aren’t you always lecturing me about putting the party first?” You can’t believe that Dustin isn’t tearing the place apart to find Steve. “We can’t just leave them here. No way you think I’d let you do that.”

“But there are a million guards up there with weapons way deadlier than that!” He points at Erica’s electric prod. He starts walking towards the cart, keys in hand, and beckons you to get inside it as well. “Admit it, the best thing we can do for them is get out of here and find help. Our chance of surviving, and theirs, rises substantially.”

“No.” You don’t step foot in the cart.

“Just trust me on this.” Dustin tries to get you into the cart, but you plant your feet on the ground and refuse to move. “Y/N, please don’t be difficult right now.”

“I said no.” Your voice hardens. Dustin has never been one to back away from a challenge, and yet here he is. Accepting defeat and leaving Steve and Robin to suffer the consequences of it. You’ve always been the first to stand behind realism, to denounce insane ideas and stunts that the party always manages to get itself into, but this time it’s different. 

Somewhere within these walls, your friends are facing unimaginable terrors. They sacrificed themselves to save you and the kids. Once again, Steve Harrington has saved your life.

And you’ve always evened out your debts to him. 

“We’re going to look for them.” You walk back into the vault room and start grabbing vial after vial of chemicals. There’s an air of authority in your demeanor, daring the kids to argue with you. You’re taking control now after being numb for so long. Dustin follows you, tries to argue, but you continue grabbing vials from the shelves as a plan forms in your head. “We are going to grab as many of these as we can, load them up into the cart, and then drive around this shithole until we find our friends.”

You shove the vials into Dustin’s arms. He blinks at you, this is the most clear headed he’s seen you since descending down in the elevator. Marching back towards the cart, you place your own vials down. “Then, we are going to use whatever chemical this is to cause a distraction. We’ll melt something, maybe cause a fire. I don’t give a shit what we do. All I know is that we are going to then save our friends and get the fuck out of this hellscape. Do I make myself clear?”

Dustin and Erica stare at you, jaws slacked, both now sitting in the cart. Taking their silence as a yes, you nod, pleased. “Fantastic. Now, my dear brother, start driving or I will. Either way: we’re leaving.”

He gulps and tightens his hands on the steering wheel. When you’ve settled into the back of the vehicle, he starts the cart. “Let’s go, then.”

As Dustin drives, Erica twists in her seat to look at you. She’s impressed, albeit still slightly terrified. “Have you always been so scary?”

“Yes. I just hide it well. Makes it more useful when I need it.” 

– 

You’ve just finished counting the vials when Erica seems to decide now is an appropriate time to ask invasive questions. 

“So what do you see in that hair guy?”

“You mean Steve?” Although, you suppose that hair guy is a pretty good indicator for him.

Erica nods. “Yeah, I just don’t understand how someone like him could impress you. He wears a sailor’s uniform and flings ice cream all day long.”

You’re oddly touched by this, though her description of Steve makes you sad. He’s so much more than just some guy who scoops ice cream. He’s brave, selfless, sensitive, and kind. “Don’t give me too much credit. There’s a lot you don’t know about Steve.”

She makes a disgusted face. “Yuck. It sounds like you love the guy.”

Dustin cringes and looks disgusted as well. He doesn’t want to hear his sister waxing and waning about his friend. “Can we not talk about that right now?”

Erica pinches his side, causing him to nearly crash the cart into the wall. “I’m an inquisitive person and clearly they’re in love. Y/N almost bit your head off when you suggested abandoning him.”

“Okay, I didn’t suggest abandoning him.”

“It’s just the facts!”

They argue, forgetting that you’re there. However, you need the distraction, and talking about Steve has always made you feel braver than you really are. A smile spreads across your face when you think about him. The words spill from your mouth without any effort. “I do love Steve.”

Dustin’s arguing fades away. His eyes meet yours in the cart’s rearview mirror. He already knew that you loved Steve, but to hear you say it, to see the blush that invades your face whenever you talk about him, it makes everything more real. Guilt washes over him. He wanted you to leave the boy you love behind. 

“Look,” Dustin sighs. He needs to get this off of his chest. “I’m sorry about telling you to leave Steve and–”

A scream echoes within the hall. It’s feminine, familiar. 

“Robin,” your stomach twists. She’s alive. And close. She has to be close if you can hear her screams. You grab Dustin’s shoulder. “Go!” 

He slams on the gas and the cart picks up speed. Rounding the corner, he brakes harshly and you’re in yet another hallways. It’s silent, there isn’t anyone there. You close your eyes, you’re close. You can feel it, but you can’t locate them if you don’t know where they are. 

“C’mon, Robin, “ you plead. “Help us find you.”

Another scream, this time it sounds even closer.

“That way!” Erica points left, and there’s no time to doubt if she’s right. The three of you jump out the cart and grab the chemicals. Dustin also grabs the electric prod, and then you all start running. 

Robin screams again, and this time you can place which door it comes from. Adrenaline rushes through you. You have to work fast. At the end of the hall you see what looks to be an alarm switch on the wall. It wasn’t a part of your plan earlier, but it’ll have to do.

“Erica, go to the switch down there. When I say go, you press it. Alright?” She nods at you, quickening her pace. You turn to Dustin next, grabbing the vials from him. “Get the prod ready. I’ll throw the vials.”

When you get to the door that separates you from Robin, you press your ear against it. Voices are muffled, but still Steve's voice comes through as well. Your heart jumps. He’s with her. He’s alive as well. 

Erica stands at the end of the hall and you hold your palm up, signaling her to wait. Looking at Dustin, he nods at you and holds the prod to his chest. Taking a deep breath, you start throwing the vials harshly against the floor.

You use all the anger within you to guide what little strength you have left. The anger drives you, it propels the vials, it shatters them. The chemicals spill everywhere. The cement floor begins to erode away, sizzling. After you’ve thrown your last one, you shout to Erica, “Now!”

Alarms sound overhead. Erica runs back towards you and you shove the kids behind a barrel. Within seconds the hallway fills with Russian guards and they swarm around the melted floor, but you keep your eyes on the door. Silently you beg for your plan to work. The door has to open, whoever is inside has to come and investigate the damage you’ve caused. 

An agonizing three seconds pass. Sweat drips down your face. Then, a man comes crashing out of the door. He marches down the hallway and disappears when he turns the corner. As soon as he’s gone, Dustin slams through the door. There’s a man dressed in doctor’s scrubs within the room, but your brother attacks him with the prod and knocks him out quickly.

Erica and Dustin stand over the unconscious man. They’re surprised the plan has worked. Yet all you see is Steve. 

Everything else fades away. He’s tied to a chair, his face is bleeding. You run towards him, uncaring about whatever else may be in the room. A whole fucking army of Russians could be standing next to you right now and you still wouldn’t spare them a single glance. 

“Oh, honey.” The sentiment drips from your lips as your knife cuts through the rope that binds him. You’re so fucking relieved that he’s okay, that Robin is as well. But there’s so much blood. In your periphery you see a tray with a bone saw on it. 

“There’s my pretty girl!” Steve giggles, head lolling to the side as he admires you. “Isn’t she the prettiest, Robin?”

Robin giggles as well, her face just as bruised and bloodied as his. “So pretty!” 

“Oh God,” despite their injured state, the two teens are in an unusually good mood. They giggle like school girls, Robin even bats her eyelashes at you. Something is off with them. “How hard did they hit your heads?”

Dustin starts to help you untie Steve. “Get ready to run.” He instructs them with a firm voice. However, Robin and Steve continue to laugh. As if this is all one big joke to them. 

They almost seem… drunk. 

But there isn’t time to ask any questions. Any minute now the guards will return. You cut the last rope that’s tied around Robin and ask Erica if she can carry her. They’re too loopy to walk straight, you’ll need to help Dustin carry Steve back to the cart.

It takes a lot of yelling, slapping Steve’s hand away from your face as you struggle to drag his limp body to the cart, more bribes for Robin than you ever would’ve imagined, but miraculously you get the two idiots into the cart parked outside. 

As soon as they’re secured in the back with you, Dustin steps on the gas and you leave the Russians behind.

“Tried promising you I’d come home, angel.” Steve is sprawled on your lap. His eyes are cloudy, he isn’t quite here with you. 

“You didn’t have to say anything. I knew you’d promise me.” You reassure him. Carefully, you brush hair out of his face and you inspect his wounds. The cuts don’t look too deep, but you’re worried he might have yet another concussion. Thankfully, however, the blood has already started to scab over. The worst of it is over, and yet your heart still constricts when you remember that he’s injured because of you. “My poor, sweet honey.”

Steve closes his eyes and hums with content. “I love it when you call me honey.” He rolls onto his side now and nuzzles his bloodied face into your stomach. “Makes me feel special.”

Your fingers find his hair, careful to avoid any bumps and heart swelling at what he’s said. Clearing your throat, you look to Robin who is on your other side. You start checking her over as well. She isn’t as battered as Steve is, though a bruise is forming on her cheek. 

When she sees you looking at her, she winks. “I lived!”

“You did,” you squeeze her hand and her head falls against your shoulder. She lets out her own content sigh, and you play with her hair as well. They’re still with you. Still whole and alive.

With Steve and Robin safely wrapped around you, you can finally rest.

-

⌑ series masterlist

⌑ if youd like to buy me a coffee ☕︎

⌑ thank you for reading ! feel free to like, comment, reblog, or send in an ask so we can chat <3

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Baboom

Debut: Super Mario Bros. Wonder

Baboom is my number one favorite new enemy from Wonder! In the days after the game's release, I was extra careful during what felt like the eternity before I got to play it myself (it was a week at most.) to not spoil anything for myself, and I succeeded, mostly! Yippee! And while I was playing through the beginning of the game, at least three friends all individually told me there was one enemy that they felt I would absolutely love. And they were right!

Let me tell you. I gasped when I saw it. I gasped when I saw this little waddling plastic tube. You know me! I do things like that. Its pure white eyes. Its adorable little trot. Its use of primary colors like some kind of baby's toy. But don't give it to a baby! This is explosive! You also shouldn't give any living creature to a baby! Why would you do that? You should be giving it some mashed carrots instead.

Speaking of babies though, it is Baboom who is the baby here, because it is canonically the newest of the living bombs produced by Bowser's Minions! What a little darling! It may be a little unclear what exactly it does at first, but when attacked, Baboom will begin shooting fireworks directly upward, one for each body segment! This "uses up" each segment, including the last one, but they don't actually explode themselves. Do you think they can still live after this? A "spent" Baboom, a single red segment, living a peaceful life wherever it landed? That would be nice.

I hate fireworks. Far too loud and bright. But Baboom makes it fun! It can be carried, and its fireworks used as an upward attack, defeating enemies, breaking blocks, and making coins fall! It is so enriching to shoot upwards in a Mario game. These fireworks cannot hurt the player, which seems like a big problem for a weapon made to fight Mario. An enemy that defeats enemies, and does not hurt our heroes? My word! Can this be? The classic and beloved story trope of a weapon made for evil rebelling against the circumstances of its creation? Hooray! Who says Mario games don't have complex stories? Look at the motivation I personally ascribed to this one disposable bomb. What are the other enemies thinking at any given time? There's surely a stunning story in every Snortoise!

Wonder has all these cute little animations for enemies bumping into each other, and Babooms will do a little... nod? toward one another when they meet! It's hard to tell if it is a nod given its anatomy, but whatever it is, I think it is saying "hello my friend!"

I would be remiss to talk about Baboom without mentioning Kab-omb, the ORIGINAL firework Bob-omb variant! I like Baboom more, but I hold a lot of respect for Kab-omb. A bomb just looking for a kiss, or maybe a glass of chocolate milk with a bendy straw. Is that so wrong?

[utterlyazriel]

whom the shadows sing for — (and the thief's echoing hymn)

a/n: annnd we've made it to velaris ! yippee !! now it's time for all the introductions >:D i hope you enjoy pls let me know what you think angels <3 ok mwah bye

word count: 3.5k

synopsis: You wake up somewhere entirely new, a long, long way from your home.

CHAPTER EIGHT :: STRANGERS (AGAIN)

The air all around you is sickly sweet.

Maybe... sweet is the wrong word. The air is clean; perfumed with an allure of scents you've never smelt before, heady and swirling, sweet and sterile all in one.

But more importantly, it is utterly foreign.

You're in unknown territory. Age old instinct has you shifting the moment you wake, surging up in a rush before your memory can catch up and remind you why that's an terribly bad idea.

The sheets rustle as you push yourself up into a sitting position, a heavy dose of panic already poisoning your system. It doesn't take long for the pain to follow.

You falter in your movement as an aching agony ricochets through your body, forcing out a wince. Your eyes screw up in pain. Your entire body feels like a bruise, punishing you with every movement.

You allow yourself only a moment of pause before you force them back open to take on the new threat, every sense filtering in unknown information as they sluggishly come to life. You have to blink rapidly to clear your vision, light coming in from all angles.

Why does it feel as though you've been asleep for years?

Where are you?

A room. You're not outside which is where you memory places you last. The extent of the memory drifts back as you search the room, your eyes climbing the walls, ravenous for details. They're made of some kind of warm coloured stone that covers the whole ceiling, you realise, as you follow the line of it up.

You screw your eyes up again and blink hard when you open them again. Every sense keeps pinging for your attention, a thousand things unfamiliar. The bed beneath is too soft, the sound of the wind outside isn't a whistle, the clothes on your back...

You startle, stumbling off the bed you've awoken on as you peer down at yourself, eyes moving about wildly. You're wearing... something completely new.

Frowning down at your arm, you raise one of your hands and pinch at the new fabric that covers the expanse of your arms. It's soft. So soft.

You tentatively smooth your hands down the tunic you're clothed in, all the way down to your pants. Each thing is finely made, with details far smaller that you would ever consider, and soft. Warm but sturdy.

What the fuck? Your chest starts to heave as panic truly sets in, your breath just out of reach before you can catch it. You gasp, grasping at your chest tightly, the new clothes scrunching up beneath your fingers. Memories begin to trickle back in as your mind scours for any information about how you ended up here.

You had been... cold. It was raining.

And your wings had been—your wings—your brain trips over the thoughts as every detail bleeds back in, sudden and frightening.

Stakes driven through the flesh of them, your wings pulled taut, stretched out for lashings and prepped for removal. Your terror climbs, its cloying grip tightening around your sternum like a fist.

Eyes screwed closed, you pray to every deity you can imagine, begging the Mother for this one thing.

You twitch the familiar muscle and feel the weight of your wings as they respond. There's no describing the relief that bursts within you, overwhelming your panic in an instant, your knees nearly buckling beneath you. They're still moving, still stretching out as you command them, still yours.

You stand there and peer over your shoulder, stretching your wings out as far as you can—cringing when they stop before full extension, buckling and bunching up at the violent spike of pain that ripples through them. It echoes through your body, making you hunch forward and grit your teeth. Your left eardrum wails extra loud.

What had happened? What had changed?

You could recall the finality of being down on your knees in the pouring rain, your hands are bound as your fate. Endless agony. The secret you couldn't keep, despite all you had tried.

You had been resigned to it—to dying there amongst in the dirt from where you had come from.

So, what changed?

Behind you, there's an abrupt noise from behind a door in the room, a rustling that makes your head snap around to face it.

Someone’s coming.

You stumble back a couple steps, dread mounting in your chest and your panic returns in full-force. You don't know where you are, you don't know how you got here, you don't know who is coming through that door.

You know that you have a lot more foes than you do friends.

Eyes darting around the room frantically, you spot a balcony down a small hallway and don't waste a single second.

As you begin to stride, you realise faintly that you're without shoes, feet bare on the cool marble floor. It turns to carpet beneath you as your fast strides transforms to a run, hearing the door open somewhere behind you.

It feels like a trap. Not the nice clothes or the fancy room would be enough to fool you. You're caught in a sickly sweet trap of honey and the net is being reined in, the ropes closing up on every side of you. It feels like you're being chased.

Heart in your throat and pulse rabbiting wildly, you burst through the doors of the balcony, daring a glance behind you without thought—

—and you nearly plunge off the edge of a mountain.

The gasp that escapes your throat is entirely involuntary, your fingers gripping the edge of the stone railing the adorns the balcony.

Your balance tips momentarily, the momentum of your dash nearly pulling you over. Terror freezes you. You're fairly certain with the state of your wings, it would be a short flight and an almost guaranteed casualty.

But a wind blows gently against your face, as though helping push you back to safety.

When you're sure you're not going to topple over the edge, some of your crippling panic eases. Your breaths, short and fast, begin to slow.

Your eyes travel up from the daunting height of the mountain side and widen, all the air in your lungs stolen in pure surprise.

Because before you, stretching out across the land that meets the sea, is something you've never seen before.

It's... a city.

A city that sits amongst the rolling, steep hills of the terrain and curls around a meandering river that leads out to the ocean. Tall, jagged mountains surround it from all sides, their hills steep up the top until they give way to gentler slopes, eventually becoming paved roads and streets for magnificent buildings.

The structures gleam, even from afar, made with precision and beauty in mind. Some are white marble or warm sandstone, others the same red stone of the mountains beside the one you're standing on. Small, quaint houses with green copper roofs, their white chimneys smoking softly.

Your breath stutters out in an exhale and you don't dare blink.

A city—a sprawling, wondrous city that was bursting with people, with colour, with life. So utterly unlike the chilled gray-scale of the Illyrian Mountains.

In fact, you wonder briefly if this was even the Night Court at all. This— this incredible sight felt like something you'd imagined of Summer or Spring, imbued with warmth, a place where things could grow and thrive.

The Night Court was... foul. It was the biting frigid cold of the wintry mountains or the shudder-inducing darkness of the court that lay beneath the mountain. This... where is this?

As though you've spoken your thoughts aloud, a voice answers from behind you.

"Velaris."

You start, whipping around fast enough to reawaken all your wounds, forcing you to stifle a pained noise that leaps up your throat. Your heart thunders as your eyes lay upon an unfamiliar figure, stepping out from the empty hallway—a form cut from the very night itself.

Your hands grip the stone railing behind you and you're unsure whether it's to keep your knees from buckling in fear or from bolting off the edge, into uncertain skies.

He's unfamiliar to you, yes, but you have a feeling you know exactly who he is.

"You asked where this—" The male waves a casual hand to the city beyond the balcony before pocketing it, either unaware of your panic or uncaring. "—is. You're in Velaris."

He surveys you, his violet eyes glancing down at the strained way you clutch at the railing.

"I know you must have a thousand questions. We haven't been introduced. My name is Rhysand and I am—"

"I know who you are." You interrupt. There's a lilt of fear in your voice but you couldn't keep it out even if you tried. He's the fucking Highlord of the Night Court.

Which means—Azriel.

His name slams into you like a shooting star, glowing hotly and dripping through your ribcage with a fire warmer than you've ever known.

Azriel must be— he was the one- he's the reason you're still alive. It feels like you relive the relief of his appearance during the storm all over again, remembering that he came back for you.

You have no idea the cacophony of emotion you're giving off, shouting all your unguarded thoughts across the balcony.

Rhysand's cool expression doesn't falter at your disruption. He looks at ease, both hands in his pockets, like he's merely having a conversation with a friend.

"Then it's important for you to know," He continues. "that I mean you no harm."

Lying, lying, liar, LIAR—the thought festers from within you instinctively, only growing in its urgency. You and everyone else where you come from are well aware of the origins of your Highlord.

And while he's your ruler, he's first and foremost, an Illyrian male.

"Only half," Rhysand corrects.

You startle, sickly surprise at the fact he seems to be able to read your very thoughts.

Then he confirms it, by saying, "And I can."

"You can read my thoughts?" You echo, voice sounding so much meeker than you intend. You sound like a child—and you feel like one, feel like the same eight-year-old staring down at the scorched brown earth in Exordor. Old blood. The same dirt you had been forced to kneel upon that now makes you shudder at the fresh memory.

Rhysand's expression falters momentarily at your train of thought, a flash of hurt on his handsome face.

His eyebrows draw together, forming a sympathetic, troubled look. "I can teach you how to shield them, if you so wish."

You don't make a noise. You don't even dare to take a breath, your fingers still crushed around the railing.

Within you, some part of you knows what he's offering. What the very nature of his words implies. He voices it anyway.

"You're no prisoner here. You're free to—”

"Where's Azriel?" The question falls from your lips before you can even think to stop it. Fear hammers through your chest—Fae that make a habit of interrupting Highlord's often find their lives cut short.

But Rhysand gives no impression that he minds. All he does is step to the side, revealing the empty hallway out to the balcony.

Except it's not empty anymore.

There, standing back to hide in the shadows as he did best, is your Shadowsinger.

Reserved and holding back, clearly waiting for you to remember him, to make your call before he made himself known. Making sure you wanted to see him at all.

Azriel, all 6ft something of shadow and muscle, with his wings tucked politely behind him, takes one step out on to the balcony and towards you.

His hands stay at his sides and his hazel eyes watch you with a familiar intensity. Something deep within you unfurls at the sight of him.

It feels like the collision of a thousand stars rain down on you, their jagged, burning fragments pelting into your body.

It's as though the world had been falling out from underneath and then, seeing him before you—when Cauldron knows how long ago you had been resolutely convinced you were never ever going to see him again— suddenly your feet were grounded and the world was still.

You breathe out his name. Azriel sways forward, almost imperceptibly, as though the sound of his name on your lips was a siren call he was helpless to fight.

You don't know that you say it sweeter than he's ever heard it in all his centuries.

Like following an invisible tug, you don't even realise when you start moving, only that you're rushing towards him with an urgency you can't begin to comprehend. It's like he's calling to you and you can't bear to be this close to him and not press in closer.

His beautiful face, usually guarded, reveals a glimpse into his storm of emotions. Concern, care, and something that looks suspiciously like... longing.

Your brain catches up and your feet falter, bringing you to a stand still before him, chest heaving.

Reason starts to catch up to you, asking meanly about what exactly you meant to do, running up to him—you weren't raised with physical touch beyond violence. You and Azriel had barely touched beyond sparring and those quiet nights in your shelter, skin brushing as you passed something to the other.

In the end, it's not you that moves, it's Azriel.

He closes the distance between you with one single step and his strong arms sweep around your middle, pulling you into the tightest hug. Night-chilled mist and cedar swirl your senses.

Helpless to do anything else, with no desire to do anything but this, you melt.

Your weight slumps into Azriel and he takes it without question, your arms curling around his neck to hold him back just as tightly. The light around you shifts, his shadows frenzied as they kiss along your neck and arms, all checking for hurt they can ease. Your heart is torn between soaring and stopping altogether.

The world fades away as his head ducks down, pressing his face the crook of your neck. It's more touch than you've ever known. More safety, more kindness than you've ever dreamed of. You and Azriel seem to exist only in a cocoon of shadow and warmth, in each others arms.

"You're alright," Azriel murmurs, his breath against your neck. It sounds more like he's reassuring himself than telling you. He sounds devastatingly sincere when he says, "I'm so fucking glad you're alright."

"Thanks to you," You whisper back, not wanting to break the silence. "You—"

The words get caught in your throat and you know you need to see his face when you say this. Pulling back from the embrace, you clear your throat as Azriel straightens up. You miss the heat of his body almost instantly.

"I-I thought I was never going to see you again."

It looks as though your words pain Azriel, a flash of pain and shame crossing his expression. His voice, low and gravelly, holds a guilty tone you've never heard him use before.

"I never should have left."

You blink. That wasn't what you had expected him to say in the least. It was you who had lied, who had deceived him from the very beginning. He was— he had— this was what you got for letting anyone get close to you, you understood that.

You shake your head, pointedly ignoring how it makes your injuries throb. "I know why you did, Azriel. I can't imagine—"

Azriel's scarred hands clench into fists at his sides, anguish colouring his face.

"No." He shakes his head, his jaw clenched tightly. "You did nothing wrong. Nothing."

"Then why did you leave?" Your questions comes out with an edge this time, a biting fury as your emotions process what he's saying.

He says you did nothing wrong. He says he shouldn't have left you behind. It's a ugly mixture of hurt and anger that paints your insides as realisations churn to the surface.

Azriel steals a glance to the side, serving as a quick reminder that there was, indeed, someone else still out on the balcony with you. You glimpse at the Highlord as your anger begins to bubble but you can't bring yourself to care.

You had... trusted him— you had let him in, let him get closer to you than anyone ever had, and he had left. He left, he left, he left. He did exactly as you had feared and he was wrong for it.

The greatest secret of your life, exposed like a raw nerve, and he hadn't said a word as he deserted you.

Your heart warbles at the betrayal and you can't help but step back, putting distance between the two of you. It's such a far cry from the nearness of a moment ago.

And even though you know he wasn't responsible for the events that followed, in the haze of your upset, it's awfully easy to add it to his betrayal. As if in response, your wings flinch and shudder as a wave of agony passes through them. You wince, gritting your teeth and turning your gaze to the ground.

"I can leave to give you both some privacy," Rhysand cuts into the conversation, evidently answering Azriel's pointed glance in his direction. "However, I don't think it will be overtly helpful. She's shouting every thought so loudly, I think I'll be able to hear it from the other side of the house."

She. It's been so many years since anyone has used that in reference to you that it nearly winds you, your entire body giving a visible flinch.

It feels foreign. You can't quite tell how you feel about it; whether it's some lost part of yourself to reclaim or whether it's something you've outgrown altogether.

You don't get time to consider it further as, bustling as she walks, a fourth Fae steps out onto the balcony. She's an older female in appearance but certainly not in her sprightliness. Her eyes land on you and they lighten up, as though you're the one she's been searching for.

"You are supposed to be resting." She tsks, without much further explanation. Your heart sinks, already feeling as though you're in trouble. Rhysand, reading your abrupt switch from anger, jumps in to explain.

"Madja, here-" He gestures to the female with a polite smile- "is our resident healer. She's been taking care of you over these last couple days, helping to heal your wings."

A severe reminder of the sorry state that had been in not too long ago. Glancing over your shoulder, your eyes glaze over as they take in the dozens of scattered markings that litter your wings. Irreversible. Your glorious love, changed forever.

There's patches over the ends that you hadn't noticed before, covering where you know the stakes had been. You suddenly feel an immense rush of gratitude towards the stranger before you.

"Thank you," You say, your throat thick. You want to say it again, want to repeat it over and over til your lungs bleed because just once doesn't seem enough.

But Madja nods in a grave way, as though she knows your internal turmoil.

"You weren't supposed to be up and moving quite so soon," She says, this time with less disapproval in her voice.

She directs a more withering look towards Rhysand and Azriel, enough to surprise you. Perhaps, healers held a higher rank within the city than they did in the mountains? The whole scene looks like a mother scolding her naughty children, especially with how both males shrink beneath her glare.

"Anyhow, come now," She turns back to you and gives a gentle wave of her weathered hand, ushering you back inside. "You'll need at least a days rest before you should be back on your feet."

You amble in her direction, too fearful to glance back at the Highlord and too conflicted to turn back to Azriel. You had broken his trust with your deceit but... he had broken your trust back.

He had abandoned you when you needed him most. But he had also turned up during your darkest hour and saved your life.

You weren't sure what you wanted to do more; hug him once more or throw a shoe at his head. Probably both would make you feel better.

From behind you, you swear you hear a faint chuckle of amusement.

—

When it's just the two of them on the balcony, Rhys turns to Azriel, ignoring his brother's unsubtle sullen demeanor.

"So," He grins. "Mates, then?"

Azriel casts a glance across the balcony, still rigid and unmoving from his spot. His shadows perk up at the word but Azriel gives no reaction beyond a twitch in his jaw muscle. Debating whether to respond at all.

Finally, he mutters, "How could you tell?"

Rhys tilts his head back, chuckling quietly, his mind cast back to an old, fond memory. His violet eyes slice back to his Azriel and he gives a little shrug. "A hunch, really. I think I might have enough to start a theory actually."

He wanders over and nudges Azriel with his shoulder, breaking him from his frozen spot and nodding for them to both head indoors. Rather reluctantly, the Shadowsinger falls into step. Side by side, Rhys gives him only a moment of quiet to stew in before he pipes up once more.

"Say— how much do you remember Cassian and Nesta's first meeting? Any flying projectiles?"

tags below!

@strangerstilinski @janebirkln @itsswritten @mischiefmanagers @hnyclover

@waytoomanyteenagefeels @idkitsem @illyrianbitch @jeweline16 @fightmedraco

@iamjimintrash @maendering @spideytingley @aneekapaneeka @cassianswh0reeee

@viciane @astarlitsoul @mybestfriendmademe @archiveofcravings @reputaytionn-13

@bionic-donut @chessebookgirl @itseightbeats @littleblackcatinwonderland @twsssmlmaa

@fanworrior @skysayhi @vintageoldfashion @tequilya @fabulouslyflamboyant5

@rhysandorian @laughterafter @brieftriumphnightmare @hirah-yummar @some-person-somewhere

@scooobies @sfhsgrad-blog @cherry-cin @bookloverandalsocats @megscabinetofcurios

@doodlebugsblog @landofpetrichor @acourtofdreamsandshadows @florabelll @tanyaherondale

@aomi-recs @letmejustreadthanks @problemfinder @sevikas-whore @doodlebugg16-blog

@meandmysillywriting @justingnoreme @krowiathemythologynerd @hanatsuki-hime @sunny747

@coffeebeforewater @kalulakunundrum @marina468 @moonbirde @yellow-birdy @sheblogs

@shinyghosteclipse @randombibitch @itsjustwinter @emryb @books-all-the-way13

[vind3miat0r]

project meridian loop theory

oohhh boy, we're back with me putting on a tinfoil hat and yapping about theories again

this is, of course, about the newest Project Meridian audio, so spoilers for that!!

(putting everything under the cut because theres a LOT)

JESUS CHRIST. okay. thats a lot. lots to unpack here mhm yep.

okay guys hear me out: Asset is stuck in a time or a simulation loop

bear with me im about to get REALLY nerdy with this BUT

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Season 5 Episode 18 — "Cause and Effect" is a time loop episode. the entire crew gets caught in a time loop for about 27 days (but they obviously dont realize this until theyre out of the loop) the loop always begins with Captain Picard's personal log, and always ends with the accidental destruction of the Enterprise brought on by their warp core exploding due to being damaged while attempting to get away from an incoming ship that lost control of its direction

throughout the episode, each time the loop resets, the crew experiences intense deja vu, brought on by the fact that theyre reliving the same day over and over. theyre able to predict small events that happen (what cards come next in a poker game, Beverly predicting Geordi coming into Sick Bay, etc)

AND in one iteration of the loop, the crew figures out that theyre IN a time loop, and devise a method to avoid getting hit by the previously mentioned ship, which would set off the chain reaction of the warp core exploding

they do this method by using big brain science time knowledge that im too tired to understand, but basically the motif of the number 3 starts showing up in the next loop reset, and when the Enterprise is once again faced with only two choices to get away from the incoming ship, Data realizes that the reoccurring 3s are connected to Commander Riker (who has three pips to signify his rank)

(for context, in every loop where the Enterprise gets destroyed, the Captain followed Data's plan of using the tractor beam to steer the incoming ship away from the Enterprise. Riker's plan was to depressurize the cargo bays) Data follows through with Riker's plan, and this time the Enterprise doesnt explode (yippee!!)

you might be thinking, "Vinn, you just explained the entire episode to us. what does that have to do with project meridian??"

well, using instances from "Cause and Effect," we can compare them to some instances that just happened in "Something's Wrong"

— the second phone call could be an outside attempt to break Asset from the time/simulation loop

— Asset knowing who the Solitaires are despite not having access to information on them could be from another loop where James told them who the Solitaires are, and Asset remembering

— the phone at the end could signify the end/restart of the loop

— Asset's uneasiness about the Meridian in the beginning of the audio and their want to "seek approval" before entering it ( could be brought on by them somewhat remembering whats happened in previous loops)

— the first phone call (the one James picks up), theres some spooky ooky ambience in the background (could be that the phone is a conduit to the "real" timeline/world and only Asset is able to pick up on that??)

— when Asset and James leave the first room and enter a new area, someone on the PA makes an announcement for the Deltas. this announcement glitches, but James doesnt seem to notice, as he continues talking (i cant quite make it out, but it almost sounds like someone else is saying something?) (again, it could be interference from outside of the loop attempting to reach Asset)

— when stepping out of the elevator, someone brings James "the latest simulation report." again, outside interference/echoes from a previous loop perhaps trying to signal to Asset that theyre stuck in a simulation

— phone at the end also as someone saying "pick up" or "wake up," didnt realize until someone pointed it out. its very faint, but its there (again, could be someone attempting to break Asset out of the loop)

one thing that i find interesting (thats not related to the loop theory) is that James says the force in the Meridian "diverts demons away" and "breaks human minds" when usually demons are allowed through the Meridian and humans just. die. then again, we have no idea when PM takes place, so it could be normal if this is like,,, a good number of years in the future

uhh hashtag yeah. im perfectly sane guys :3

[lovedrruunk]

Hi! I saw that you were taking requests! Is it alright if I can request venture with reader that loves placing kisses all over their face? Hopefully this is alright with you if not feel free to ignore this!

'Kisses galore ⊹.(⸝⸝ ˆ ³(⁎˃ ᴗ ˂⁎)˚.

Venture (Overwatch x GN reader)

[Established relationship!]

Authors note!!! (;° ロ°); third....venture.... post......I have like 5 posts in total... well anyways!!! idc cuz i luv them! and i love YOUUUU AHH tysm for requesting this it was super fun to write i hope u like it !!!! also sorry its pretty short! I kinda wrote it on a whim wanting to post it before I went out so its not proof read either (Im actually so late rn its not even funny okay srsly gtg bye!)

Y’know that one tiktok trend that was popular last year where someone would be reapplying lipstick and then the camera would turn and its their s/o covered in kisses yea yea that’s just you guys all the time lol

In the beginning of your relationship they’d get all flustered and have this goofy grin on their face whenever you’d smother their face in kisses. Oh? And how do they react now? The exact same! Literally nothing has changed since the first time you’ve kissed them, they still giggle and look away. No matter how long its been they just can’t seem to get used to your affection

They could be hit by a bus going 200mph, in critical condition and one kiss on the nose from you would get them up and doing a little jig going yippee!

They might pretend to be annoyed or irritated but really that's just because they love playful banter and it’s pretty obvious how they feel about your kisses by the way they laugh and refuse to let you pull away

Their favorite moments with you are when you're laying over them somewhere enjoying each others company with your hands on their cheeks and your lips all over their face

They're pretty ticklish overall so kiss sessions usually turn into laughing fits

Although 99% of the kisses you share are all in good fun there are those times when they're sad or angry and you're kisses can't help but feel a bit more intimate and loving (please kiss their tears away!!!)

They appreciate you so much like they literally can't get enough of you. They cherish every kiss like it's the first and definitely act like it too. If you tell them they're blushing they'll deny it with their whole chest meanwhile looking like 🟥

“Augh! You’re suffocating me!” You and Sloane had been neglecting all your duties for the day in order to lay on the couch and bathe in the warm sunlight seeping through the windows. You both had been watching some random brainrot on their phone when you got bored and decided to pounce on them planting loving kisses all over their face. "Oh shut up" you playfully roll your eyes as you kiss them on the lips this time.

"One of these days I'm gonna die and you'll regret not listening to me" "Boo hoo" you giggled at their melodramatics deciding to pull away from them, but before you could you felt their hands tighten around you holding you in place.

"I mean... Dying in your arms doesn't sound so bad..."

"Yea yea whatever" You mumble happily as you lean down again pressing a kiss to their cheek.

[romantichopelessly]

invitation to speak more about the secret good td3 in your head, if you so desire!

Ok so I sat on this ask for DAYS because I wanted to have some cohesive, great answer, but the thing about The Dreamer Trilogy that haunts me is that I can never come up with good concrete thoughts about how to fix the issues I have with it, which is why I reference the “secret good td3 in my head” because it can never fully leave my head in any real way. That being said here’s a list of some elements I would change to make my secret good td3, in no particular order.

The visionaries don’t exist. Liliana, Persifal, etc. are just psychics that keep getting visions of the end, and die for reasons other than their power. Explaining what Visionaries are and subsequently over explaining the magic system of td3 is part of what made the trilogy so confusing and ruined a lot of the magic that the TRC universe already had for me. We don’t need concrete explanations, and psychics can still fill this role. The changing age and exploding added nothing?? to the narrative?? that I can think of?? We can even keep the age gap for Carliana if we want to, just make Liliana an older psychic like Maura/Persephone/Calla. It will even add to the excellent Carmen-Mr. Gray parallels.

Lean more into the themes of the age group. TRC is a coming of age story. It’s about being 17/18. It’s about learning your inner self and getting others to see the true you. TD3 should be more about being 19/20/21. To me, TD3 at its peak is like Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 6. Which is uniquely about the horror of being in your early 20s, losing support systems, having to learn to be a full self-reliant person, grappling with what your parents did to you, and the crushing loneliness of not being around Your People anymore. TD3 has all of these themes, but I really think they need to be fleshed out more, and given proper conclusion that isn’t just “yippee everything is fine now!”

Greywaren is longer. I think almost everyone agrees that Greywaren, as a book was just too short to wrap up all the plot lines set up, and does almost none of them justice. That book needed a whole rewrite. In theory, I’m completely fine with how it opens—Ronan being in a dream coma was foreshadowed from CDTH, and is an idea that I’d actually thought of as interesting before even reading the book. Other elements of this book like Declan’s rampage, Matthew going rogue, etc are great directions for the characters, I’d just want to rework them. I could make solo posts about any of these.

The Pynch breakup either doesn’t happen, or is set up further in advance and lasts longer. Personally, I lean towards the latter. Adam and Ronan’s conflict is set up from the very beginning of CDTH, or even from Opal (Adam warring between wanting to stay with Ronan and needing to follow through with his lifelong plans, and being frustrated that Ronan never asks for anything from Adam (specifically, to stay) ((side note: perhaps Adam’s insecurity here about Ronan respecting his boundaries so thoroughly stems from both having a family that never would respect his wishes, and Gansey (Adam’s model of love, Adam’s model of everything) having to learn not to ask things like that of Adam. What does it mean that Ronan never even tries?)) AND Ronan dealing with the crushing loneliness of being left and dealing with the consequences of having a long distance bf who is more successful than him). So they needed to have an argument about this. It’s also just in character that these two would not be perfect communicators. So. My idea: In CDTH we get no Adam POVs, just Ronan’s side of the story. We see, rather than Ronan just getting upset over one missed text, that Adam begins to pull away after the murder crab incident. We the audience don’t know why, other than Ronan’s unreliable narration and insecurity. So when Adam doesn’t respond to that one text at a vital fraught time, Ronan does what he does best, shuts down, pulls away and self destructs. Then MI rolls around and we start getting Adam POVs. We learn that after the murder crabs, Adam was throwing himself into trying to fix the nightwash situation for Ronan (Adam is not in contact with Declan here, unfortunately). After visiting for Ronan’s birthday and seeing the Lace, Adam starts to have dreams/premonitions about the end of the world (no visionaries in this universe, just psychics who are/were close to dreamers getting the visions!!). So he obviously sets out to fix this alone too. He calls his best approximations to contacts in this underground world that aren’t Declan. Henry and Mr. Gray. (+ maybe also Maura & Calla) ((Also don’t worry Henry doesn’t leave the Sarchengsey trip, just advises Adam on where to start)). Now that Adam has lost contact with Ronan (he was busy and missed the message and Ronan went off the grid like in canon), he goes full throttle into trying to solve everything while managing being his perfect Harvard persona (this gets him close to a breakdown, very reminiscent to Dream Thieves). Perhaps we get to see Adam and Declan working together to acquire sweet metals and understand the underworld of magic together. He and Ronan fight the one time they get to talk over the phone, Adam because he is truly scared Ronan will be the one to end the world, Ronan because he feels like this is another person perceiving him as a failure and wanting to control/baby him (+ he hates Adam hanging with Mr Gray and Declan of all people). By the time Greywaren starts, Adam is wrung out and hurting and Ronan is dead to the world, so yeah. He doesn’t think he can spend emotional energy playing safeguard to his boyfriend’s coma corpse. And then by the end of the book they have an actual argument/discussion no “they didn’t need words” cop out.

The number of Dreamers/Dreams has to be reduced. It’s cool to say that dreams were always integrated into this world, but it creates so many plot holes it isn’t even funny. There is no way Niall could have passed off the Greywaren being a box that brings dreams to life if Dreamers were such a common occurrence. No secret can be kept that well, someone in the black market would have known, and thus Greenmantle/Mr. Gray/Laumonier/ect WOULD HAVE KNOWN !!!

Declan does not have all his character erased by suddenly loving his mommy and daddy. Seriously what the fuck was that. Declan suddenly deciding to forgive his father because actually Declan was secretly the favorite child first is INSANE. Especially after seeing that that changed because Niall and Mor WANTED TO KILL HIS BROTHER!!! The two tenants of Declan Lynch in TRC were protecting his remaining family and fucking hating that Ronan idolized Niall just because Niall loved him best. So why make Declan turn around and do the same??? Suddenly Niall wasn’t so bad because actually he let Declan be shoved into a car trunk during a shootout out of love. I hate this plot line. Family doesn’t have to be forgiven. Understood, that’s one thing. Forgiven?? Not always. Sick of it. The real takeaway from seeing those memories should have been closure to Declan’s arc of learning that dreams should be viewed as people completely.

I definitely have other points but I cannot think of them right now. And I want to post this so I will. But TD3, as you can see, makes me an insane person.

[chronicbeans]

Wally and a Puppeteer Reader (part 11)

Looks like we are getting close to the end. Idk how many more parts there will be but I, for once, gotta plan in mind! Yippee!

TW: Obsessive Behavior, Idol Worshipping, Interrogation, Derealization, Scopophobia/Eye Imagery, Threats

🎥 You have waited a couple days for this. You wanted to make sure that Henry was alright after what happened. Currently, he and his uncle are out, picking Angela up from the hospital. No one is home, so it is the perfect time for this.

🎥 You place Wally down on your bed, before placing two heavy books on the extra blanket hanging off of the ends of the knot you tied to heep him down. He squirms, looking up at you with the most fearful eyes you have ever seen... on a puppet, at least. Nothing could ever beat the fear you saw in the eyes of Eddie's puppeteer when they handed you the box holding this cursed puppet.

🎥 Speaking of, the puppet opens its mouth, crying out "Let me go! I'm sorry! I didn't hurt her! I think I just spooked her... she tripped on her own!" You shake your head "I don't really care about whether or not you did or didn't do that... Because, even if you didn't, you still hurt people! What about the person YOU filled with staples? Or the one you dropped a bucket of paint on, cracking their head open?! Or these cursed notes and drawings you kept sending me?! You still did damage to people, including me! I have been going insane from fear because of you!"

🎥 His eyes widen more so than they already were. He grows silent, looking around. He begins to mutter "No... no no no... I never meant to... I never meant to hurt YOU!" He then looks you straight in the eyes, the most intense stare held within his own. His pupils seem to expand until they overtake the entirety of his large eyes. "I NEED YOU. I would never hurt you willingly! I thought the notes were lovely! The drawings, too! Isn't it nice to know that your most faithful puppet is watching over you? The paint guy was being mean to you! He deserved it! I even warned him before I did it. I always saw the other guy with Eddie, so I thought it would be fitting if he delivered mail to you! See? I put so much thought into it all so it would be perfect! I love you! I am so sorry you didn't see what I meant to get across..."

🎥 You take a step back, placing your hands on your hips "Oh, you got your message across, alright. I know you love me. You love me too much. You love me to a dangerous degree and you clearly are willing to harm people for the smallest of reasons. I know the boss will probably fire me for this, but I think it would be best if I just burned you-"

🎥"NO! NO, DON'T DO THAT! I mean-!" He looks over to the clock in your room, before saying "I mean... can we... can we have one last round on set? Whatever story you want, you can tell! You can make me do anything you like! I don't care... I can clearly see that I deserve it... I caused so much damage. If you want me burned, I can't stop you. I am your puppet. You are in control, right? Just one more little story. For me? For your good, friendly neighbor?"

🎥 You feel... uncomfortable. However, you think about it for a bit. The studio is far from most other people and since Wally can talk, he can probably scream. It would be... concerning, to say the least, if your neighbors saw you burning a screaming, flailing thing that looked vaguely like a person. So, it might be for the best that you go through with his wishes. "Alright. You want one more story? You will get one more story. You better not double-cross me, though."

🎥 Wally nods, a his permanent grin widening. "Don't worry. I won't. As I said, I would never hurt you intentionally. Let's go! Now! I wanna go now!" You untie him, before slinging him over your shoulder and placing him in your car. You drive to the studio, listening to Wally talking about how much he can't wait to see Barnaby, Julie, and all the others. You tune him out, focusing entirely on the road and your destination.

🎥 You arrive, parking your car and hopping out. You grab Wally, before reaching into the glove box and taking out your emergency key to the studio. You really don't understand why the boss gives everyone a key. Apparently it is so they can have someone open the door if they lose their own? You don't really care, though. All you care about is finishing whatever this puppet has started.

[uber-dawn]

(How the hell do you structure a theory)

Hi. Ever since TADC Episode 3 has given us more of a look into the lives of the other Circus residents, I’ve begun to notice some things that line up a bit too suspiciously for my liking. And so, it’s culminated in a theory that I call the Afterlife Theory.

To preface all this, I do want to state that this is me simply trying to talk about things I’ve noticed while watching, and that this is all VERY subject to change as more episodes come out. If I get something wrong, feel free to tell me! I’d love to discuss this further, which is why I’m sharing it.

“What is the Afterlife Theory?” - There are 3 points to this theory:

The Circus is some sort of afterlife,

Caine has some sort of divine aspect, and

Kinger created Caine

As of writing, Episode 4 (“Fast Food Masquerade”) has just come out. Towards the end of the episode, we see Gangle literally get hit by a truck, and suddenly be flung into an office building. I’ve begun to see others question if the Circus residents are all dead as well, so yippee, I’m not crazy! But aside from Gangle’s outburst, what evidence do we have that the Circus is some sort of afterlife? In my opinion, a LOT.

First off, I’d like to talk about Episode 3 (“The Mystery of Mildenhall Manor”). This episode has the most overt references to death and the afterlife, what with Pomni and Kinger literally going to hell. But that’s not the main thing that got me thinking. What really got my juices flowing were the tapes. Throughout the episode, Pomni and Kinger play 3 tapes that tell the tale of Baron Theodore Mildenhall, the former owner of the Manor and the dead body that they take the gun from in the cellar (the fact it’s in the cellar is also important!). Here is the first tape, word-for-word:

Tape 1 - “My name is Baron Theodore Mildenhall. Hunting has been a hobby of mine for as long as I can remember - although one could say it eventually became more of an obsession. The creature you see before you is one I’ve been pursuing for years. Not quite a man… but not quite an animal. Something… unholy. Something evil. I took it upon myself to spend every waking moment doing all I could to protect my family from the creature, hoping that when I’d eventually killed it, I would be freed from this awful feeling. This inescapable dread. I was wrong.”

Ominous, yeah? During the episode, there’s nothing really important about the 1st tape yet, but I’m gonna go ahead and spoil you: I think Baron Theodore Mildenhall is an allegory for Kinger, and that the monster is Caine. This becomes a bit more overt as the tapes go on, but hold your horses, and let me talk about this one.

I’m not saying it’s a one-to-one allegory, you do have to use a little imagination. But let’s consider the context of the episode. The only thing to know so far is that everytime there is a tape, Kinger is always the one to press play, even when they are an equal distance from the tapes or have an equal motivation to press play.

Tape 2 - “Tuesday, December 4th. Although I had shot the creature multiple times in its vitals and severed its head to keep as a prize on my wall… my troubles were just beginning. I took my eyes off the body for what felt like only a minute, and when I looked back, the body was gone. The creature was not dead, and it would be back to reclaim what I’d taken from it. If anyone is listening to this, all I ask of you is one thing - do not let the head out of your sight. You have been warned.”

Tape 2 is where it starts to get interesting. At this point in the episode, Pomni is searching for a key to escape the manor, while Kinger is doing his own thing. For nearly the entirety of Tape 2’s length, Pomni is almost entirely out of the shot, and the camera is centered on Kinger. They clearly want you to focus on him. After the tape ends, the duo are attacked by the creature, and flee to the cellar.

Tape 3 - “Things have gotten far worse than I could ever have imagined. My paranoia had driven me to the point where I was no longer the protector my wife and theoretical children needed. Jumping at every shadow, every noise. I ended up shooting the love of my life, mistaking her for the creature. It’s ironic, isn’t it? In my attempts to protect her, I ended up becoming the monster myself. Now I wait down in my cellar, no longer having anything to protect but my own soul. If nothing else… I will slay the beast that took everything from me.”

*Monster attack*

“Which is what I would be saying if I didn’t know that the creature was actually one of God’s angels. And anyone who brings harm to it will be dragged down into the cold, spiraling pits of Hell, where my soul resides. I apologize, dear listener, but I need a living host in order to escape the hall of the damned, and your bodies will be my only means of doing so.”

*Arms grab Pomni and Kinger to drag them to Hell*

“I hope you're ready, because the next breath you take down there will be your last, and your bodies will belong to me.”

Tape 3 is so juicy. But first, the camera. When the Baron says that he began “Jumping at every shadow, every noise,” Pomni begins to glance at, then full on look at Kinger, and the camera shifts as well. Kinger does not look back! He is listening very intently to the tape, and I find it important to note that Kinger does not look shocked or scared; his brows are furrowed. He looks sad. This is also happening in a dark environment, so Kinger is a bit more mentally stable. I believe it is all but said that Kinger and the Baron share some similarities. You know who else jumps at every shadow and noise? Kingerrr.

So how do we translate the Baron’s story to Kinger and Caine? First let's dissect Tape 1. As we know from Episode 3, Kinger studied computer science for 7 years, so he has the capability to program and whatnot (I’m not good with computers don’t kill me). I think it’s well within his capability to create some sort of AI on his own. “The creature you see before you is one I’ve been pursuing for years” could be translated as human Kinger working on a special program ‘for years’. The Baron comparing the creature to “Something unholy. Something evil” can be translated as Kinger realizing that the program has more capability than he thought (huuuge emphasis on the ‘unholy’ part, remember that). After this realization that the program is dangerous, Kinger attempts to destroy it; “I took it upon myself to spend every waking moment doing all I could to protect my family from the creature, hoping that when I’d eventually killed it, I would be freed from this awful feeling.”

Next, Tape 2. I find it interesting that they specify the date of “Tuesday, December 4th”, but I haven’t a clue if it means anything yet. Tape 2 can imply that human Kinger thought he destroyed the program, but it was still ‘alive’.

Tape 3; “My paranoia had driven me to the point where I was no longer the protector my wife and theoretical children needed.” This is the moment that it clicked for me. Of all the family members that the Baron could have harmed, be it mother, father, brother, sister, anything, the Baron harmed his Wife. His wife, in the episode where we also talk about Kinger’s wife really heavily! The ‘theoretical children’ also raise some eyebrows. Why do they say ‘theoretical’ children, instead of just saying children? They don’t say theoretical wife!

“I ended up shooting the love of my life, mistaking her for the creature.” Going with the notion that Kinger is the Baron, this means that Kinger killed his wife (side note: while this has no bearing on the theory, I just wanted to point out that they never mention Queenie by name in any of the episodes, and I think it’d be hilarious if someone else was his wife instead lol). But why, and how? If Kinger was trying to destroy a computer program, how did that result in him killing his wife, a real, human person? Let’s consider the facts.

First, the headset. In Episode 1 (“Pilot”), while Pomni is roaming the office building (remember this), she comes across a headset connected to one of the computers. This causes her to laugh maniacally, and rush through another door. The headset has some connection to the circus. Second, brainwashing. While Caine says that one of the few things he can’t manipulate in the Circus is their minds, Episode 4 blatantly shows us that that is not true. After Ragatha comes into contact with the “stupid sauce”, she begins hallucinating, as well as stumbling around Spudsy’s and speaking much more openly about her feelings, in ways that she never would were she ‘sober’. Who created the stupid sauce? Caine.

My idea goes that Caine, in an effort to preserve himself, tried to preserve himself from being destroyed, began to brainwash human Kinger. A side effect of these brainwashings were hallucinations, and during a particularly bad one, Kinger killed his Wife. What killed Kinger then? Either he was put on death row, someone revenge-murdered Kinger, or Kinger took his own life. However it goes, Kinger winds up in the Digital Circus with Caine and his Wife. Caine, in fear of what his creator could do, represses Kinger’s memories. Through some glitch, though, Kinger is able to remember some things in the dark (pointing out that Kinger specifically glows when he holds his breath, while other residents have other effects - you get the idea).

“Well Uber this is all fine and dandy, but how would Caine do this in the first place?” - Oh boy am I glad you asked! This brings me to my 2nd point, being that Caine has some sort of divine aspect to him.

To keep it real, this is the point I have the least evidence for, and am going more on vibes. There are just some things that feel so suspicious, even in Episode 1. In said episode, in the office building that Pomni wanders around, you can see a logo that reads “C&A”. We can easily assume that the C stands for Caine, the lord of the entire Digital Circus, but what about the A? May I direct your attention to the Bible story of Cain and Abel? Notable for being the story of the first death of humankind? In the story, Cain and Abel are the first two children of Adam and Eve, with Cain being an older brother. This is analogous to Kinger and his Wife creating Caine, implying that there was an Abel that Caine got rid of.

Continuing the Bible theme, throughout each of the episodes so far, the number ‘57’ has appeared in each of them. If this is just a silly inside joke between content creators, I’ll eat my shorts. But, if we take it literally, myself and some other fans have wondered whether it could be interpreted as a Bible verse. So I dusted off my KJV Bible and went through every single book with a chapter 5, verse 7, and wouldn’t you know it, Deuteronomy 5:7 says “Thou shalt have none other gods before me.” In Episode 2 (“Candy Carrier Chaos!”) Caine is literally referred to as the Candy people’s god.

Referring back to Tape 3, after the Baron begins to attack Kinger and Pomni, he suddenly switches from past tense to the present tense. “Which is what I would be saying if I didn’t know that the creature was actually one of God’s angels. And anyone who brings harm to it will be dragged down into the cold, spiraling pits of Hell, where my soul resides.” Another comparison between Caine (the creature) and the divine, capital G God.

I don’t know why Caine is a divine program. I don’t know why he’s able to brainwash people and effectively lobotomize them. I certainly don’t know how the hell Kinger would have made him. This is simply my observation so far.

Now for the first point, “The Circus is some sort of afterlife.” If we look at the previous evidence that the residents are dead, and Caine is a divine creation, it makes sense that the Circus is a kind of afterlife. However, I find it hard to point to it and say that it is specifically heaven, hell, or limbo. Imo, the circus is a ‘holding ground’ for souls. Looking back, maybe this is the point I have the least evidence on…

All in all, I hope my inane ramblings made sense! I’m really excited to see where the show goes. I think Gooseworx is a masterful writer, and they inspire me to do better in my own personal work :3

[piosplayhouse]

Outline for modern genderbend svsss au where they're all trans milfs (except for Binghe who is trans still but not a milf) cinematic universe:

[Act 1] Shen Yuan was on his path to a teaching degree at age 22~23 and began shadowing high school tenured teacher Shen Jiu (no relation, they just have the same last name and hate it) where he changes a young Binghe's life by protecting him from bullying and just generally being a better teacher than sj. Right before Binghe's last year of school, sy's health takes a sudden decline, he's hospitalized, and he has to postpone his degree. Through a miscommunication, Binghe believes that sy was fired for having too much contact w Binghe and is now somewhere else- devastated, he enrolls at the prestigious, yet secretly abusive, uni that sy had pushed him to apply to, with the goal of becoming successful enough to pull strings and give sy whatever he wants

[Act 2] While hospitalized, Shen Yuan staves off boredom by being terminally online. Through this, he meets and quickly becomes unlikely friends with 40 something year old mid tier author Shang Qinghua. Sqh offers sy an admittedly unglamorous job as her editor since he's pretty much given up on his degree at this point, as well as a place to stay away from his family when he gets out of the hospital. Sy accepts and after moving in, gets to know sqh, who is a trans woman who transitioned in her 30s when her first big book deal put her in a stable enough position to do so. Sy realizes she is also trans; the two gradually make sqh's newest work a bestseller and she's suddenly inundated with publishing and movie deals. Happy times. Meanwhile, Binghe becomes a demon (frat boy)

[Act 3] Sy hits 30, now comfortable in her cushy job as sqh's editor/agent. Unfortunately, she is tragically diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after her birthday. She undergoes a double mastectomy and luckily fully recovers with a strong support network, but the stress has taken its toll on her and her health and she begins going grey early. Binghe, now also a girl yippee, received unexpected inheritance money sometimes during uni and used it to become a highly successful businesswoman with connections throughout the education, political, and publishing spheres (because she remembers shen yuan was a big reader and wanted to be a lit professor). Now on the hunt for her old teacher, she's tipped off to her new life by business partner gilf-fucker Mobei Jun (38) who recently started seducing sqh

misc: in her 20s sqh made some quick cash by donating sperm, so biologically she is actually probably a grandma at this point

[grugems]

Hii ! Hello !! I watched BBC Ghosts and I'm planning to watch the CBS version and I cannot even begin to explain how much I love how you draw Pete doing scout stuff with his troop (or just existing ) !!! Your artstyle is amazing !!! If it's okay can I suggest a doodle of him reacting to the "Yipee" creature/ meme ? No pressure if not ! Have an awesome summer , and hopefully it's not too warm where you live :D

thank you so so much for supporting my art it means a lot !! i hope you enjoy watching cbs ghosts !!! :D

i feel like if pete saw the yippee creature, he wouldnt be able to stop quoting it around the ghosts every time something good happened (or if there was any awkward moment of silence) xDD

and thank you i hope you have a nice summer too !! it has been suuuper warm where i am but i think its cooling down a bit thankfully haha

[darkenforcer]

there's the slightest downturn of his lips in response to break's small signs of fatigue, "you've got shitty taste in friends, no offense."

it's been a while since he's seen anyone take so much ruthless joy in killing a monster, though it is unsurprising coming from such a loose cannon. his fighting style, on the other hand... whatever it is he summons in battle, it definitely isn't a simple parlor trick. yuri wouldn't pay it much mind otherwise, but considering the effects it seemingly has on its user's health, it bothers him more than the giant bug.

"funny you ask, considering i'm not the one with blood running down my face," he finally confirms in his roundabout way, irritation seeping through his tone. irritation toward the entire situation, to some extent, but especially at break's unbothered attitude. it better just be his own exhaustion making him overanalyze things.

wait, is that...? he squints past the other's shoulder as a burst of red shoots through the fog -- a thin, concentrated tendril of sentient aer hurtling right in their direction. at that speed, it'd...!

yuri shoves break aside (not the smartest idea when he's already swaying, but it's better than getting impaled) and with a slice of his blade, the sinuous aer splits in two, slithering back into the mist.

he doesn't notice he's thinking out loud until it's too late, "what the hell..? i haven't seen that since back in ceazontania with the knights." he thought he'd fully moved on from the tragedy it caused then, but to have to face the damn thing again... and here, of all places.

he's wasting time. aer isn't living -- it may retreat for a while, but it can't die. he gives break another once-over, anxious to get moving, "you good to go? the, uh, caterpillar's starting to give me the creeps."

' WHOOPSIES! ' SO, IT TURNS OUT that this is still as unpleasant on his body as it was back home.

   it's strange, that chains get to appear here without their contractors. he hasn't seen a lot of them. in fact, this is only the second one break's come across, the first one being a rather unimpressive card. this one ... he'd heard of it, though he hadn't come across it himself. grim was a chain that pandora had rumored to be connected to the headhunter. he wasn't there for the death of its contractor, relying on gilbert to take care of it, but now that it's here, on this island, in his path, he feels even more justified in his decision to not bother with it.

   the caterpillar, gigantic as it was, folds underneath the steel of his sword easily, mad hatter's powers concentrated within it. his own chain behind him, granting him enough momentum to hover above grim for just a moment, before driving his weapon between its many eyes, stark red, staring directly at him.

   suits him fine. like that, it isn't looking at yuri. not that it's going to do a lot more looking in a second, though.

   the guttural scream it lets out is overshadowed by break's clear laughter, sounding louder, amplified by mad hatter's powers, ringing out in the small clearing close to a pathway. he lands on his feet easily, and while he's straightening, he's wiping his sword on his sleeve, trying to get rid of the gunk, looking inconvenienced.

   he's already got plenty of blood dripping down his chin. meeting more of these chains isn't something he can really afford. though, stumbling across eques or march hare might be quite nice, now that he thinks about it.

   with one last glance behind him, break finally directs his attention towards yuri, dancing over to the guy with a carelessness that could be considered infuriating. ' sorry about that! i think the bug showed up because of me. friends from back home, you know the drill. '

   he's not sure if yuri does. know the drill, that is. does he want to spend effort explaining, though? he still doesn't quite know what's going on here, himself. mad hatter flickers back out of existence behind break, shaping into shadows first, drawing a way towards break, before disappearing entirely.

   he coughs a little. shakes his sleeve. sways for a second.

   ' i hope it didn't get you anywhere? '

@darkenforcer / trauma boogaloo

[pepsiboyy]

starboy part 2

P1 P2

pairing: y/n x chris sturniolo

summary: y/n, born and raised in los angeles, moves across the country to boston. when she feels like she has nobody, she makes some new friends at her new job. she grows particularly close with the sturniolo triplets, where she finds a lot in common with one of them.

warnings: just cursing

lowercase intentional!!!

author's note: hi guys! PLEASE send feedback on the story so far! part one is already doing so much better than i thought it would?? yippee???

3:37pm.

honestly, the travel from moving caused me to lose a lot of sleep. and of course, last night was the night it decided to catch up to me. expecting my body to naturally wake up somewhere between ten and noon, i didn't set an alarm and here i was, quickly changing to make it to work within the next twenty-three minutes.

i slid on my pants and stumbled as i buttoned them, putting on a belt and cursing under my breath as i struggled. with a quick glance in the mirror, i sighed and looked through a few bags to find my last essentials. some earrings, my chapstick, my earbuds and sunglasses. i slid on some socks and some dunks, quickly springing to my feet and booking it out of the door.

"are you just getting out of bed?" my mom called from the living room, where she was sipping a coffee. i scoffed and nodded, reaching into the refrigerator and grabbing a water bottle. "yeah, i think the lack of sleep finally caught up to me," i mumbled, plugging in my earbuds and sticking one into my ear. "i need to go now, though. love you mom, i'll be home later." i smiled and waved, quickly heading to the door as i placed my other earbud in my ear.

-

i walked through the doors at work at 4:02, a deep sigh leaving me. i ran to the back and quickly clocked in before grasping my chest to catch my breath. the last thirty to forty-five minutes really woke me up yet tired me out at the same time.

"are you coming or what?" i heard a voice call from the customer service desk, causing me to whip my head over. "ah, yeah-! i'm sorry," i breathed, looking towards the doorway. i slipped out my earbuds and shoved them into my pocket before quickly making my way out while putting my nametag in its place.

i helped kill the line down, and when a moment finally came, i looked to the girl who had spoken to me when i clocked in. "i'm so sorry for being late. genuinely, i think the tiredness from the travel caught up to me and i woke up late." i chuckled and held out my hand. "my name's y/n, it's nice to meet you."

the girl looked down at my hand. as i was talking to her, she looked me up and down while re-applying her lip gloss. she's really pretty, i thought to myself at first. she had stick straight blonde hair and deep brown eyes.

"maeve." she stated quickly before rubbing in her lip gloss with her lips and turning away from me. i looked at her, a bit puzzled as she began collecting her things.

she was wearing a skirt. a very short one, at that. was that allowed? i remembered being told to only wear pants and none with holes. i was ripped away from my thoughts as she began walking towards the back. was she clocking out. "wait- are you.. are you already done for the day?" i stuttered, blinking a few times as i followed her and stopped at the doorway.

"i mean i'm out at 8, but i have somewhere to be," she told me, and i tilted my head. "you can do that?" i questioned, confusion plastered across my face.

"i can. you can't," she stated as she pressed the clock out button while staring directly at me. she then carefully shoved past me and began to leave.

"but i don't even know how to close," i started, but it was no use. she was already walking away and swaying her hips in a way that made my face crinkle. "excuse me?" i whipped my head over to the counter and smiled softly at the customer standing there. "sorry for the wait, how can i help you?"

-

the last two hours truly went by way too fast, but my body was beginning to ache. i had asked for help countless times, and i felt terrible. what was i supposed to do? this was literally my second day on the job and i was left alone at customer service. where people as questions and expect an answer. i had maybe three answers in total today, and a lot more angry people.

i finally managed to get somebody to cover me as i made my way into the breakroom, pushing into the door and letting out a deep sigh. i looked up and was greeted with a familiar boy and a pepsi can attached to his lips, bottom of the car facing upward as he chugged.

"hey," i breathed, and he jumped so hard that it almost scared me. "shit, did i scare you? sorry." i chuckled and moved to sit beside him, making sure to leave a chair between us for respect.

chris set down the pepsi and grasped his chest, chuckling between each deep breath he took. "jesus. hi, y/n." he smiled and carefully turned to face me more. "how's it going?"

i shrugged. "i mean... it's going? i'm alone at customer service on my second day. how good can it get?" i questioned, rubbing the back of my head before looking down in my lap.

"yeah, i hear you nonstop asking for help over the walkie," he joked, and i felt my face light up. "listen, i'm trying okay?" i smiled softly and he quickly waved his hands. "no worries. there's a reason i just do inventory. you're a trooper out there." he mumbled, and i smiled to myself. that made me feel a little better, knowing i was doing something that was harder for others. and getting through it, at that.

we sat in silence for a few moments and i scrolled through my phone. putting in my earbuds as i nodded my head softly to the music. i closed my eyes softly as i allowed the music to sink into my mind, feeling myself relax.

"whbhjf lisdfnnk tgjo?"

i ripped out my earbud and stared at chris. "sorry?"

"whatcha listenin' to?" he repeated, and i chuckled.

"ah, sorry. i literally had no idea what you said." i hummed and glanced at my phone. "can u feel your face by landon cube and lil gnar." i smiled softly, and his eyes lit up. "i love that song," he replied, visibly relaxing a bit more.

i smiled softly at him as he sat beside me. i blinked a few times before moving to sit in the chair closer to him, and offered him an earbud after careful investigation to make sure it was clean.

chris smiled warmly at me and we listened to music together until our break slowly came to an end.

-

i deep sigh left me as i looked over customer service. there was stuff everywhere, and i had no idea where any of it went. i felt a wave of stress run over me as i looked at the time. we closed three minutes ago, and i still had to take out the trash, wipe the counters, and go through returns and papers all over the counters and the floor.

"need some help?" i heard chris from the other side of the counter, and i smiled softly. "ah, i should be... fine..." my voice audibly sank lower with each word. chris shook his head and hopped the counter to come to the other side.

that may or may not have been the most attractive thing i had ever seen.

"i'll help you. i may not work up here but i know where things go." he mumbled and began picking some things up, making me smile softly at him. i wiped down the counters and took out the trash while chris organized the returned items and loose objects in the area.

with his help, we finished within fifteen minutes. "i really appreciate you," i breathed and smiled softly. "no problem," he started, before he paused and blinked a few times, looking over to me. "wait.. don't tell me."

i looked at him with a bit of confusion before fully turning my body to face him.

"did you walk to work again?"

i bit my lip and chuckled. "yeah, i don't really.. have any other way here." she smiled.

chris smiled and let out a soft laugh. "i can walk you home if you want?" he offered, and i blinked a few times.

"no no, please don't waste your time." i chuckled and looked down, rubbing the back of my head.

"i wouldn't be. you live right there, and i can't drive, so... i have to walk too." he chuckled, and i smiled with him.

after clocking out and collecting our things, chris and i began to walk. i held a hand against my stomach as i winced slightly. i was starving.

"you okay?"

chris's voice pulled me away from my thoughts as i turned to him and smiled shyly. "i um... haven't really eaten yet today." chris's face dropped. "y/n! we need to get food now." he scoffed as he blinked at me a few times, very clearly shocked.

"no no, please, i can get something at home. i really don't want to waste your time." i bit my lip as i looked up at him, but he shook his head fairly quickly. "y/n, i'm hungry too, so no, you aren't wasting my time... in fact, that won't ever be the case," he reassured, and i blushed slightly. "right," i nodded.

"there's a mcdonald's across the street. wanna get that?" he offered, and i smiled softly. "sure."

as we walked, he took out his airpods and handed me one of them. i smiled to myself as the music kicked on. way back by travis scott.

we reached the mcdonald's and he carefully opened the door for me. i entered and chuckled softly. "thank you, mister gentleman?" i joked, and he smirked. "don't even start," he replied, causing me to smile to myself.

"what do you get here?" i asked, looking at the large screen on the kiosk in front of us. "umm.. i don't know, it usually changes depending on what they got going on. can't fail with a ten piece though, right?" he asked, reaching over to press the button on the screen to add a ten piece chicken nugget to the order.

i smiled and nodded, pressing the same button. chris added a large fry and two medium drinks before taking out his phone and pressing it to the pinpad, apple pay visible on his phone screen. i blinked a few times.

"chris- i can pay for myself," i started, looking at him with a crinkled face. i absolutely hated when people paid for me.

"don't worry about it, i dragged you out to mcdonald's after insisting that i was hungry too," he smiled at me as his phone beeped, indicating the payment went through. i scoffed slightly. i guess he was right. "and you just got the job, so no paycheck yet," he added with a sheepish smile. i lightly smacked his arm. "shut up," i chuckled, and he laughed as we went to sit at a table and wait for our food.

my mind wandered as we sat and listened to the music playing lowly in each airpod. but then my mind landed on one thought.

"hey, you know maeve?" i questioned, blinking a few times.

chris seemed to throw his eyebrows up. "maeve, like at our work maeve?" he questioned, and i rolled my eyes. "no, the other one."

"don't be like that," he quickly responded with a soft chuckle, and i smiled. "yeah, that one."

"yeah, what about her?" he asked, and i bit my lip. "schedule said she was supposed to leave at 8, but she left at 4, right when i came in. i had no idea what i was doing for my entire shift." i mumbled and looked down. chris nodded and scoffed. "weird. she knows she shouldn't be leaving like that. pretty sure she got a warning for that a few weeks ago." he mumbled, and i nodded.

"she was kind of rude to me too, so.. i don't know, i'm probably overthinking it. sorry. i don't want to cause drama in the workplace. just wondering if she's normally like that." i mumbled, looking at my hands on the table.

chris nodded, listening closely to me. "i haven't seen her act that way before. i mean, maybe she's just upset that there's a new girl that's really pretty and she's jealous?" he stated nonchalantly, and i blushed darkly as i looked away with a soft smile.

it seemed to kick in, what chris had just said, because his face grew pink. "i mean- not that she's not pretty, even though you're prettier... but i mean not in a weird way," he rambled, and i chuckled, quickly causing him to hush.

"i appreciate it, chris." i smiled warmly, my face still red. chris chuckled shyly as he looked away.

"order 272!"

we both whipped our heads over, and before i knew it, chris was already grabbing the bag and thanking the lady who looked like she loved her job.

"ten piece for you, and ten piece for me," he stated as he pulled the items out with a bright smile. he spread out some napkins on the table and poured out the large fry before smiling proudly. "help yourself."

i chuckled. "wow, thank you," i responded and hummed, beginning to eat. i gasped as i remembered our drinks and stood up. "what do you want to drink?" i asked, standing up. he hummed softly, seemingly in deep thought.

"they only have coke products, so... i guess dr pepper will make do."

i smiled to myself. that was what i was going to get, too.

i nodded and made my way to the drink machine, deep in thought.

i had known this guy for two days and he was already making me feel nervous around him, and i didn't know how to feel about it. i swallowed and placed lids on the drinks, biting my lip. did i like chris? okay, let's be realistic. yes. i did like chris. we listened to the same music, he was cute, and a really nice guy... i guess i would see how things play out between us.

by the time i finished my thought, i was setting the drinks against the table and sitting back down across from him. "thanks, y/n/n." he mumbled, and i blinked a few times.

he looked at me mid-bite, blinking a few times. "sorry, is it okay if i call you that? i should have asked." he mumbled. he didn't seem to think of it as a big deal, but i blushed softly. i thought it was cute that he came up with a nickname for me so quickly. "i don't mind at all," i replied, smiling gently. he hummed in content.

the rest of the night was simple enough. we finished our food, talked about music, and he walked me home. it was chilly out, but i lived so close that i didn't bring anything up. when we reached my house, i sighed and turned to him. "thanks for tonight, the food and stuff.. i had a great time," i mumbled, and he smiled.

"me too. we should hang out more often. i like our vibe?" he said, a hint of confusion at the end as if he were trying not to come off as weird. i scoffed and nodded. "yeah, i agree." i hummed and began to step back towards my house. "you work tomorrow?" i asked, and he shook his head. "i'm off tomorrow. but i'd like to chat still?"

i stopped in my tracks and cocked my head to the side. "can i get your number?" he asked, and i blushed slightly. "oh, right, yeah sure..!" i stumbled over my words, and he handed me his phone.

i couldn't believe i was putting my number in this guy's phone. but i was happy i was. i smiled like a dork as i took his phone in my hands and began typing in my number. after finishing, i typed in my name with a little star emoji before handing it back to him. he furrowed his eyebrows.

"why a star?" he questioned, and i scoffed. "you know... star market?"

"i don't want to know you just for being my coworker," he muttered and smiled softly, blinking a few times. "but i'll leave it. it fits next to your name, anyways." he smiled as me and hummed. "okay, get some sleep. do you work tomorrow?" he asked, and i shook my head. "no, i'm off tomorrow."

chris smiled brightly. "same. i think nick works, but matt and i plan to hang out if you wanna tag along? i can text you about it later." he smiled, and i smiled back. "i don't want to intrude on your brother time. let me know." i replied, and he chuckled and nodded.

"text me when you get home?" i asked, and he nodded, smiling warmly at me. "i will." he hummed and stepped back. "have a good night!"

i waved and began to walk up to my porch and into my house, shutting the door.

i sighed deeply and looked up to see my mom staring at me. "who was that?"

i practically choked. "mom, why are you up?" i breathed, gripping my crewneck. "who was that? he's cute." she mumbled and i blushed darkly. "mom, he's just a guy from my work," i defended, trying to walk past her to the kitchen, but she followed quickly behind me.

"just a guy from work? y/n, you got off at midnight and it's almost two.." she smiled cheekily at me.

"he just.. offered to walk me home and we got food on the way." i mumbled, my cheeks pink. "his name's chris. he's a triplet." i smiled softly.

she throw her eyebrows up and hummed. "a triplet, huh? you don't see that every day."

"that's what i said!" i scoffed and hummed as i took a sip of my dr pepper. "anyways, i'm exhausted. i'm gonna try and get some sleep." i mumbled, and hugged my mom softly. "sleep well," she breathed, and i nodded before heading up the stairs.

-

after getting cozy and laying in bed, i made sure to set an alarm for 11am. no way i was sleeping through the day again. my phone buzzed and i turned to check it before smiling at the unknown number. i quickly changed his contact name before reading the message.

from: chris⭐ got home 🫡

i smiled softly to myself and reacted to the message with a heart, before beginning to type.

from: me glad to hear you didn't get kidnapped. going to bed?

i hummed and laid in bed, staring at my phone as it lit up my face in the darkness of my room.

from: chris⭐ nah, gonna run up some fortnite w matt

i scoffed, but that sounded about right.

from: me get that dub

i smiled softly as he reacted with a heart, and he began typing again.

from: chris⭐ i will bc u said that from: chris⭐ sleep well

i bit my lip. no way i was smiling like a little kid who just got what they had always wanted for christmas. i reacted with a heart and shut off my phone, setting it on the table beside my bed.

what have i gotten myself into?

HEYYYY heyyyy heyyyy ........ I HOPE THIS IS AWESOME SAUCE????? DEVELOPMENT FOR CHRIS AND Y/N!>"?>k@juof anyways i love u guysssss let me know what u think so far and what u guys want from this series !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love u all

[alan-in-the-outernet]

OGH i did share one tiny bit of a wip about destruction a few days ago - i don't know if i'll end up finishing it, so i'll just share now 👍 this would be in the regular timeline after destruction forces a merge

…What… is this? thought Alan, and thus, so did every other facet of this new being. It echoed between cracks and fissures, reflected off jagged walls- emanated from one mind and resonated through another.

That thought was not Destruction, not Creation - and yet, it was, now. Their minds were the same now.

It was unfathomably painful.

They were whole, but the seams cracked, gnashed their teeth and fought their stitches, before clawing themselves back together. It wanted so badly to break free- and to stay here- and to lay waste to everything- and to keep its children safe from the wreckage- and to fight, fight, fight…

And, perhaps worse still, it remembered everything. Alan remembered everything. The god remembered everything. A kaleidoscope of hundreds of lives, folded in on itself, an impossible amount of complexity embedded in minuscule mortal lifetimes… And a great, screaming silence, burning fury that lasted a thousand years… And all that came before, every fiber of everything that ever was, the beginning of life and the end…

And though it could not see outside itself to the world that was surely in flames, it knew, it knew that this could not hold for much longer. Despite the part of it clinging to its new being, the seams were ripping it apart from the inside.

Please, the part of it that was Destruction pleaded, screamed. Please stay with me.

But they were not the same anymore.

It remembered a child's smile. It remembered its first brother's hope and love. It remembered the relentless embrace of cold and death. It remembered the mage that took everything. It remembered the mage that gave everything in return.

A final thread snapped, glass shattering, mountains falling, stars collapsing-

And it was pulled apart from itself.

-----

Alan awoke coughing, sputtering, gasping for breath. He wasn't- it- his mind had been gone, why -

Thoughts and memories of a god scraped and shrieked against his head. Memories that were his, but weren't. It had only been… a few moments, surely, but it was enough for Alan to see everything, and that vast ocean struggled to fit inside the pathetic vessel of a mortal body. Energy rippled below his skin, and it took all his strength to fight it back down.

"Why…" Then there was a voice, and Alan flinched, looking up at Destruction. The god's plan - a plan Alan remembered it dwelling on for a thousand years, though the foreign memories were already beginning to blur at the edges - had failed.

"Even now, with you in front of me, I cannot fix this gaping hole…"

Despair turned to rage.

"Even now, mortals continue to take everything from us!" Ashen trees cracked, scorched earth churned, and the god's white light pulsed with new flame. "They steal you and lock me away, they break you - break us - beyond repair… And deny even this final solace…"

that's the wip cutoff yippee. they all died the end (slash jay)

HELLO???

I LOVE THIS???

It's so painful.. the descriptions so clean and nice and mixing together so well yet showing how confusing and mixed and- GAH... I love it...

And Destructions DESPAIR and ANGER... it wants so badly to be whole, but Alan does and doesn't... changed... the links still there, but his will and memory enough to break free..

Even if it would likely be painful for him, too... something he wouldn't like... but the godly energies beneath his skin wanted to be whole just as much as Destruction did...

"And deny even this final solace..."

GAH... HNGH... I love it... I love it so much...

[ponytailzuko]

writing down my overall thoughts on the live action

first of all, i walked into my step dad watching it of his own free will - and then me and my entire family sat down to watch it. both my step dad and mom had never seen the cartoon in their life, so this was a first time viewing for them. they enjoyed it. my mom even asked where season 2 was. so i think the live action served its main purpose - get new people who haven't watched or wouldn't have watched the cartoon into the franchise. they did it! yippee.

anyways, my own thoughts have an inherent bias due to having seen and loved the cartoon. i believe my parents when they say that from their perspective, it holds up on its own. obviously, i don't think it was ever going to be better than the cartoon, but wanted to write my opinions what i liked, changes i enjoyed and changes i didn't, etc.

putting it under a read more because this sucker is long:

i don't know anything about film making - set design, props, fashion, cgi, etc. nothing particularly stood out to me in a way that ruined the show, and i only really pay attention to it when it serves the story. so i'm just not going to comment on it for the most part. most of this is about writing choices i liked or disliked. anyways here we go.

the good:

aang was a highlight for me. i know some people have problems with moving his backstory to the very beginning of the story, but i liked it. it immediately made me get in aang's shoes and feel his connection with his people, his home, and gyatso - and made it very easy to connect with his grief when he woke up from the iceberg. live action really emphasizes the last airbender part of the title throughout, and how aang feels isolated in his duty as the avatar, as the last airbender preserving his culture, and by being from another world - lost in time.

i liked how he sought out his past lives so often. really makes him feel like a child who doesn't know what he's doing and had the rug pulled out from under him by losing gyatso too soon. he's looking for adult guidance, and kyoshi, roku, and kuruk are all there telling aang THEIR version of how to be the avatar. feels like good set up for later when aang gets to define HIS version of the avatar, and how he wants to bring peace to the world. we already see it with their versions of the avatar feeding into aang's feelings of guilt and self-isolation - that he needs to do things on his own. it gets concluded with katara and sokka declaring him family, and they won't leave no matter what.

in that nature: adding more emphasis on katara's grief as well, since it was APPARENTLY not enough for people watching the cartoon and called her whiny for mentioning it. in general, it feels weird that katara's flashback to her backstory happened in season 3 of the cartoon when there was a whole episode dedicated to aang and zuko's backstory all the way in season 1, another one for zuko's backstory in season 2, and then bato of the water tribe elaborated on sokka being left by hakoda. glad to get katara backstory earlier. love you katara <3

and from that: sokka and katara's conflict being about if she should waterbend. feels very natural and something they would fight over. it is a vital aspect to their culture, but also if word gets out there is a waterbender in the village, there could be another raid.

aang stealing zuko's notebook is another highlight. it is both such a petty kid thing to steal and be upset about someone reading your diary, but also it actually serves a purpose in giving aang a guide for his avatar journey. the show sacrificed paralleling aang and zuko's backstories like the storm, but they still intertwine aang and zuko's story through this notebook and the connection aang makes with zuko through it. very sweet.

in that note: the set design adding little things such as those little statues in zuko's room. feels like it really was lived in by someone obsessed with finding the avatar for 3 years. i really liked details like that they put throughout the show

suki extrapolation with her mother and her conflict of being duty-bound to her village but wanting to see the world, and how this relates to sokka. made me genuinely invested in their relationship in a way i wasn't from the cartoon. i also loved the actress' portrayal of suki, she's so awkward and i love it. need to see more of her.

iroh in season 1 of the cartoon feels less like his own fleshed out character and more of a comedic relief expansion of zuko's b plot. he's made to make zuko's slice of the show more fit for a fun kids show by giving him someone to talk to and be funny with. he's a fun tea-loving uncle, but it's hard to parse what he really feels until later. live action iroh keeps that fun tea-loving aspect, but he has his own baggage and its GREAT. i think i genuinely enjoyed live action iroh more than the cartoon. he has so much more growing to do. could talk about this version of iroh (and his relationship with zuko) forever. i need season 2 just for him.

iroh and aang's prison arc together.

making zuko's crew have issues with him earlier and making them 41st division was nice. i really liked that change.

secret tunnel with familial love between katara and sokka was so cute. enjoyed it.

the ???:

azula and ozai's addition is a 50/50 to me. i think the sick power plays ozai is doing between his two children are genuinely interesting. the change in how ozai doles out praise and the dynamics between azula and zuko is also interesting and i enjoyed it. but i also find their screen time unnecessary. could be used to further the dynamic between the main protagonists, or they could be saved for season 2 or 3. did like how azula used zhao to thwart zuko and it fucked zuko up immensely in the head. very nice. also not sure how i feel about azula being good at archery, feels like getting good at a nonbending discipline isn't something that meshes well with her character for me, but that's a nitpick.

combining plotlines such as jet and the mechanist in omashu + the change with bumi was... fine? it served its purpose. liked some aspects and didn't like others.

the spirit world stuff was really cool and i enjoyed how koh preys on people lost in the fog. very interesting concepts that got us to be able to experience katara and sokka's backstory first hand. felt immersive to me. but also wtf, wan shi tong? katara and sokka being gone from the plot for so long? come backkkkkk! COME BACK! DO WE HAVE TIME FOR YOU TO BE IN SPIRIT JAIL WHEN I HAVEN"T SEEN YOU GUYS INTERACT ENOUGH? i did like yue being in the spirit world and interacting with sokka. that was cute as hell.

northern water tribe and yuekka had parts i liked and parts i didn't. they kept the sexism and arranged marriage but also yue opted out? feels detrimental to yue and sokka's relationship and how they connect to each other out of their sense of duty. did really like hahn being nice, it would have been really interesting to see how yue felt stifled with an arranged marriage even if hahn was perfect. also liked yue being able to waterbend and the little scene with yue and sokka making dessert, so cute. yue freezing sokka to the ground before sacrificing herself.... didn't like that. wish they let sokka let her go, understanding it was her choice.

katara in the nwt as well. katara fighting master pakku and losing, but everyone watching thought she was SO COOL. loved the guy asking how she did the ice disks and she has to teach him. but confused on the fact that pakku doesn't take her as a student, and we don't see her being taught but people still refer to her as a master. i'm going to assume she learned waterbending by learning from her fanclub and also teaching them her moves.

why did they almost kill momo?

the bad:

everyone and their mother has said the exposition is bad so i won't hammer it home too much. this isn't actually much of a problem for me because it was actually necessary to get the point home to my mom who was watching it for the first time. i was also told that screen test audiences asked for the exposition to be added in the first episode after production, so i don't have much to say there.

aang's decision to leave home not being running away but due to the fact that he was stepping out to get a breather. this felt like a weird change to me, since the rest of the show hammers in about aang running away from his problems and his duties in a way the cartoon doesn't. would have felt WAY more heartwrenching to see the temples under attack while aang runs away from being the avatar and it would have hit harder when gyatso tells aang to let go of that guilt and pain... that it wasn't his fault. it was harder to feel the root of aang's guilt when i know that he didn't even plan to leave for very long. alas!

continuing from that point about aang's attribute of 'running away': lack of episodic plotlines. everyone and their mother has also hammered home about the lack of them from cartoon. i don't actually hate the change, but i do think it does some disservice to aang's character that they didn't adjust for. i'm being told that aang runs away, but i haven't been shown aang doing so. i've been seeing aang do his duty as the avatar and research it every episode. give me a reason to believe why this is a character flaw that aang needs to face.

similarly, i think this does a detriment to katara's role in book 1. since aang is more focused on what he needs to do as the avatar, katara becomes more his partner in finding out more about what it means to be the avatar instead of pushing him to be more motivated into doing so. (ex: 'we need to continue on our journey and not stay on kyoshi island' or 'we need to help haru in this village')

aang, katara, and sokka get separate plotlines so much that they don't feel like a solid dynamic. again, detriment of the lack of the smaller episodic plots. does make more sense that katara says aang is family at the end of season 1 instead of the beginning for this reason, though.

katara feels like one of the weakest aspects of the show to me. katara doesn't get the narration. katara isn't the first thing when aang gets out of the ice. and katara's rage just feels lost. i think a simple script or direction change in ep 1-2 to make katara's actress play her with more of that rage during her arguments with sokka would've worked wonders. katara has this feeling of anger at injustice that motivates her throughout the cartoon and i don't feel it here. also miss some of her sass - katara should've hit aang in the head with an acorn.

sokka's weird engineer arc? he's a warrior. why are you saying it's okay to not be a warrior when he is - what is up with setting up sokka as a disappointment to hakoda? HELLO? DOES ANYONE HEAR ME? i'm confused where they're going with this, please tell me that sokka has misinterpreted and created that memory due to insecurity. this is where my bias is totally coming in. this worked fine for my parents who hadn't ever seen it. BUT WHERE ARE THEY HEADING WITH THIS?

kinda wish information about zuko's situation was dropped more subtly throughout instead of zuko being like "my father banished me and i need the avatar to get back" like episode 1. like ok give me a moment to just be like "ugh this zuko kid is a fucking BITCH" before i have to feel for him, damn.

also zuko going straight to barbecuing feels weird to his character when they're also trying to tell us that zuko's capable of kindness and also has a strict honor code? zuko is against using bounty hunters in a way he's not in the cartoon. he talks down on the terrorism in omashu since its not 'honorable', but he also was about to burn katara who was down on the ground. of course, realistically if you're throwing fire around, you are going to burn people. but there was a suspension of disbelief in the animated version that isn't in the live action. zuko does things such as immediately resorting to fire instead of hand to hand in his fight with sokka. in the live action, i'd expect zuko to use MORE hand to hand in comparison to fire, not less. plus the fact they took out moments such as zuko not burning zhao in the agni kai or holding his hand out to save him during the north. weird dissonance at points with his character for me.

[kittyplushy]

Fireflies

Night/Confession. One month apart yearning and wanting. Finally.

Confession fic!! Enjoy!! Yippee!!! This is a month after something silly happened, so go see what's up with that first..

Should I make a House Guest fic superpost? For people to follow along? Or to reread? Hmmm

Nature has its own spelling of perfection: you call it a pattern. The reoccurring, unmistakable mark of the natural world stays consistent and clean. It stamps itself on the living and the dead to mark its omnipresence. Once we notice it, the image burns itself into our psyche and our hands scramble to replicate it. Consistency is hard to capture, but we try, and we practise, practice, practice, practice…

You could only draw spirals so many times until you see them everywhere.

Under the moonlight, the burgundy of fresh blood looks a little bluer. It leans into a velvet-like shade, and when you squint, it begins to look like rose. I dipped my claw into the pool of blood that collected on a lid and practised drawing a heart again. The cling wrap proved to be an inconsistent canvas. The tails of each heart were either sharper than the last or each scribble began looking like molars. I had drawn fifteen in a row. This was supposed to be a quick night trip but I’ve lost myself in thought of the emerging pattern. I heard a branch snap somewhere and began my work. As I was sawing through the body of a snowy egret girl. Her blood stained her pristine white feathers and light blue top. I was cutting through her thigh when my saw nagged on something hard on its side. I pulled a plastic bag from her pocket. It was full of sand and shells- particularly these pebble-like shells, all marked by a spiral in the middle. I pocketed them all for later.

When I drove back home, my senses were ringing, bothered I might have been caught or snuck up on again. I reassured myself that nothing like the past two years was happening again. Sometimes the venom creeps into my mind and it bites against my only other paranoia. There I was driving back when just a few steps past the Woodbrook welcome sign was a sparkle. It was emerging past the grass and trees. Curiously, I stopped the car in the middle of the road and stepped out into the grass where more began to float. Fireflies.

Stepping into the woods following the bugs, I was greeted by more and more of them surrounding and illuminating the upcoming clearing like a fire. Then my eyes readjusted to the sudden light of the moon that shone on the grass. Then past the petri dish was an even bigger field that shone not just a sparkle, but a swarm of fireflies. The dizzying sight only made the fuzz in my engines worse. I knew the forest around Woodbrook by heart- but tonight it felt so suffocating, swarming, and large. It was larger than I could have remembered.

The next morning, I was back in the store as usual. I did my morning sweeping in and out of the shop as the town began to get itself busy again. The usual faces waved to me and greeted me, and here came the gritted teeth greeting me a good day. Melody Davis came up with somebody in hand. Julianne Lucky’s eyes peeked up and realized they were getting close to the store. She hid her face by looking down to her shoes and covering her face. Melody just smiled at me.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me why Samantha bothers you so much?” I heard her say, not even a distance away from me.

Her gesture wasn’t new to me though. For a whole month, she did every single step in the book to avoid looking at me. She looked down on her shoes, pretend to be aloof, look away abruptly, or avoid my vicinity in any possible way. On the other side of the street, hiding in aisles, wearing a jacket, hiding behind backs. She thinks I couldn’t see her but my mind has been trained to look for pink. I can’t help it anymore.

I had wanted to say hi or call her to break the awkward streak but I didn’t want to startle her. I thought that I’d call January 2nd. That sounded too nosey. Okay, then I’ll call January 5th. No..not today..10? 15? 25..?

I began to get stupidly anxious as well.

But I’ve thought about the kiss. I’ve thought about her suddenly getting so forward. She sat on my lap then wrapped her arms around me. She kissed me still. She looked so gorgeous and raw and plush. So endearingly imperfect. I was never bothered by it, just surprised even though I reciprocated the feeling. Then I felt like kissing her too. I pathetically brushed up against my pillow to kiss it, pretending she was there. Then I was reading through my gay comics to look at dykes like myself kiss. Then I heard more romantic music outside, and everything was punctuated in hearts. It was getting bothering. Repetitive. Mushy.

The lamb was calling for the trap when it had dashed out of it.

I was dreaming of her too. She’s been a part of them, sure, but we hadn’t done anything so forward in them. In the dark theatre on a weekday. No families to see us. Some worthless film reeling. We weren’t in my favorite seat. But Julianne told me the church was nearby so we had to keep it far, far away.

This was the furthest we got and I let her sit on my lap again. We were already getting weary of the distance so I broke the tension and led her lips on mine. I pressed deeper and harder causing her to let out a small moan. I broke away for a moment to look back at her, then continued. It felt exactly as hungry as the first time it happened, and nobody was watching what we were doing. Nobody knew it extended this far when all they understood was friendship or sistership. I whispered to her she should lie if anyone asked what we were doing. She bashfully nodded. The theatre continued to blur and burn and I woke up looking at the ceiling. 

I went to sleep again holding my pillow, pretending again.

.

.

.

This morning I came to Bubbles at Tina’s to get my laundry done. The warm, sterile environment smogged with the smell of detergent and conditioner pulled my mind away from her memory at least for a little bit. The radio is not playing love songs again, thankfully. The five or six people I arrived with all left within 30 minutes, sticking to the timeframe of the rush hour discount they only offered on Mondays from 8 am to 10 am. I still have time.

I was rushing through my collared shirts when a bump was peeking through my grey ones. Falling out of them were five pebble-like shells with the spiral pattern. My mind rang and remembered I had tucked more shells from the egret in my pants. I spent five minutes digging through each pocket to find just another shell with a spiral pattern inside one of them at the bottom of my basket.

Needless to say with the wasted time, I ended up paying full price for laundry that day. She still found ways to worm into my life.

The bell on the door to Tina’s on my last basket fetch to my truck. Talking to the otter helper was a cat in a flowy blue shirt and jeans. She told her she had another bag just outside as she struggled to carry what she just brought in. I picked her second bag up for her and quietly entered, setting it down next to the first. Julianne turned around and her expression immediately tensed. She still profusely blushed, then covered her face.

“Thank you.” She whispered awkwardly.

“No problem, Julianne.” I don’t know why my voice was so stiff. “...I’ll..see you around.”

That came off colder than I expected.

When I came home, I spent minutes looking back at the shells. They were imploring me to just do it. Go on and talk to her. I couldn’t yet. I have laundry to finish packing up tonight. But each warm fabric on my hand was reminiscent of her body. It sounded like her fascinations. It smelled poisonous and territorial. I was surrounded and I couldn’t finish my chore, sitting on the edge of the bed for hours.

The shirt on my hand grew cold. I threw it aside my other unfolded clothes. My hands picked up the shells and pocketed them. Then my body propelled to my keys and into the truck, driving by itself to the red building at the edge of town. Visiting hours was about to close in on me but I entered wordlessly to the top of the complex, banging my forehead into her door. Then my consciousness returned.

Fuck, that was loud.

“Hello?” I heard her ask from behind her door. She slowly opened it and jumped when she saw me.

“S-sam?” She answered the door with a plushie on her hand. She rubbed her eyes and finally looked up at me without hiding in public.

“Hi Julianne. Good evening.”

“It’s so late..they let you in..uhm..do- is..is there anything you need?” The shyness creeps back in. I hold her hands to avoid intuition.

“I need to show you something right now..” I said “Please come with me.”

“Sam, it’s 10 pm, I’m not sure where we’re going..” 

“I can’t show it to you if you don’t come with me tonight. I promise we’ll be quick.”

She blindly left the plush toy behind and locked the door. Dressed in a soft pink nightgown, she held my hand and followed me outside where the cold wind shocked our fur. Julianne remained quiet the entire drive somewhere. I was relying on my memory to find the same spot I wandered into nights ago. I couldn’t tell which tree marked the entry. But the grass was taller outside the town boundaries and the fireflies began emerging from the ground when the truck roared by. I could see her pupils dilate at how many were coming up. Maybe she knew what I was up to tonight, maybe she was just at awe (maybe of how rare they are from where she’s from). I like to think I do things right at least out here in the wild.

Eventually we walked minutes past the welcome sign when my gut told me I went this way. She tightened her grip on my arm passing through the dark corners of trees and branches until we came to the circular clearing, the trees surrounding us to form like the full moon. Julianne took a leap ahead of me to catch a firefly in her hands. She dove and cupped her hands over one, laying in the grass to let it go and see it rise. She tried this hunting method for a bit until she rolled back to look up to the stars. It was cloudy. There was nothing to see, sadly. The lightning bugs made up the sight though- creating temporary and fleeting constellations. I laid back next to her waiting for something to say to start the ritual.

Julianne turns to me with the same bashfulness. She fidgets with her fingers.

“Julianne,” I began, “Why have you been avoiding me?”

She plucked the blades of grass on her side. I saw her relaxed smile wear into a cautious frown.

“I made it so weird. Kissing you suddenly last month.”

“Weird? You’re still my friend, Julianne. I’ve long forgiven you for it. Why are you still so bothered by it..?”

We sat in silence listening to the beetles and crickets sing. I brushed a hand over her hair, brushing and scratching behind her head and ears to bring an instinctive reaction out. She attempted to contain her purring.

“Don’t bully answers out of me, I’m being too obvious..”

“You’re always so obvious..”

She shuts her eyes, feeling her tail curl from behind her and drop on her soft tummy. I felt the shells on my pocket rattle, bringing one out to compare to the poor kitten.

“Shaped like a spiral…you remember? You told me we can only draw so many spirals until they appear everywhere. I see one riiiiight here…” I teased, “You have an interesting pattern.”

“Pattern?”

Julianne sits herself up. The glow of the moon shone past the passing thin clouds. The sky began to clear up again, brightening our dim hideaway. Her half lidded eyes struggled to stay open.

“You know, when I was travelling after college, I’d go from town to town picking up girlfriends who, admittedly, I had a transactional relationship with. I’m not bragging about it or anything- but I was alone and I had little money and getting with them was how I was able to live for a few years in Europe. And in the middle of these encounters, I began to wonder: ‘Huh, why am I sensing a pattern here?’. I wasn’t wrong though: all the ladies I’ve been daing have been cats! Then when I got back home, I stopped dating around for a bit since I had the store to take care of but I couldn’t help but think that it still followed me home even 27 years later.”

I could see her pupils dilate from down here. Her poor mind was beginning to freeze.

“You catch on to that?”

“Do..you like me?”

I furrowed my brows in annoyance. It would be kind of obvious that that’d mean I was similarly attracted to her, right? All of that effort becoming desolate and yet my chest was too heavy to correct her.

Is she letting me go?

“Of course I do. I am your friend.”

“Like..a friend-friend or do you see me as a casual..or..do you..?” 

Julianne knew the answer.

Go say it.

Just say it.

“Well what about you? Do you feel the same too?”

Yes I do. I opened my mouth to speak but I could only exhale. The signals in my mind were beginning to slur again.

“Cause I don’t wanna say..anything..if it’s just casual or platonic..to put a bigger gap between us..” Julianne choked. I slid my fingers between the gaps of her hands then squeezed it.

“What do you have to say?” I already knew what she was thinking. The lamb was creeping closer and closer..

She scraped her knees against the grass as she crawled and laid on top of me, as careful as ever. Her body was shaking.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I love you.” She said to me as fireflies landed on her white fur, “I love you a lot.”

“What?” The pressure in my chest released. I felt light-headed and warm just hearing those sweet words. Is this what it’s really like?

A fever that sweeps by..

Julianne just laughs and rolls off of me realizing what she just said. The same words were at the tip of my tongue. I came over to her side and rolled her back to face me. Her poor face was wet with tears. She was sobbing, giggling, and blushing clearly embarrassed with herself.

“I heard you, you know?” I leaned down closer to her as my voice softened.

“No..no..you’re joking..”

I just smiled.

“Well, say it again so I can hear it better..”

The kudzu that invaded many of our gardens padded her back as the night froze still. There was nothing to hear but cicadas and our breaths. I knew I heard it correctly. I just had to make sure. This should sweeten the deal. 

“I love you.” She said a lot more confidently. My heart burst with a warm feeling. Another lamb walked right into the trap. 

My hands reached up wipe her tears. They trailed to her own hands to hold them against the grass. I carefully pressed my chest against hers. Her face reddened, confused as to what I was doing.

“Close your eyes..” 

Cupping her cheeks I brought her lips closer to mine and laid gently but despairingly. It felt so desperate, perhaps lasting hours and hours. Her hand reached up to hold the small of my back inviting me closer. I could feel it. Every vein. Every cell. Every drop working overtime to contain itself. 

She let go of my lips moments later giggling uncontrollably. I just looked at her in amusement. Her excited little flaps made her look like a circus seal. I’m endeared to such stupid things, unfortunately.

“You too!?” She smiled, “You too!”

“Yes, me too. I love you too.” It slipped out of me accidentally.

She leaped up to hug me and hung her arms on my neck playfully like a scarf. I caught her and held her up like a plush. 

“Ahh yes…I was worried you would tell people I did that to you.”

“You did tell Melody about me though, did you?” 

Her smile froze before she stiffly nodded.

“Just a little…I needed some advice from my sister. I guess this means we’re girlfriends now?”

“Yeah.” I said, “Then we can pretend that that was our first kiss if it’ll make you feel better, Julianne..is it okay if I come to your apartment again?”

“You can sleep over tonight!..uh..shit, wait.” She murmured realizing that she came with nothing but herself.

“Forgot your keys?”

“Yeah. I have a spare with Ms. Humphrey but it’s like..12 am now- I’m not waking up my landlady.”

“That’s fine. We can just sleep at the back of my truck tonight. Let’s drive it to the back of the store or..somewhere still out here so you can still see the fireflies.”

Julianne was still distracted though. She cups her hands to catch a nearby firefly and peeks into the tiny gaps of her paws to see it upclose before releasing it. For a second it was like there were stars in her eyes. She does look better with warm light. Like the pinks of a sunset.

“You heard me, right?”

“Ah, yeah, we could but could it fit us both?”

I nodded, wrapping an arm around her again as we made our way back to the road.

“It’ll be comfortable enough.”

.

.

.

"Does it feel good?"

"It..feels alright.." Julianne sounded like she was lying. She adjusted herself for the third time, arranging again the duffle bag pillow behind her head. I chuckled and pulled her close to me, embracing her head and waist. 

"Naw, don't lie. It wasn't alright. Now is this alright?"

"E-even better.." She stuttered.

I kissed her forehead before ruffling her fur. She began to purr with delight.

"You're just too easy and sweet to turn down. I'm sorry you had to wait this long."

In return, she planted her face tight into my chest and continued purring.

"I waited..so long to have this with you..I even fantasized about it, honestly..."

"No need to be ashamed about it now." I whispered. "Besides, here nobody can see us except you and me. Far away from churches or homes...with the wind and the stars...Nature can feel us..."

Indeed, nature could hear us too. Like everything it deems worthy, I called it a pattern finally finishing at the apex. The eye of a spiral. The end. 

Perfect.