#& its just the beginning too YIPPEE!!

[infizero]

i might be growing a mustache ?

[stevie-petey]

chapter six: e pluribus unum

“There’s my pretty girl!” Steve giggles, head lolling to the side as he admires you. “Isn’t she the prettiest, Robin?” Robin giggles as well, her face just as bruised and bloodied as his. “So pretty!”  “Oh God,” despite their injured state, the two teens are in an unusually good mood. They giggle like school girls, Robin even bats her eyelashes at you. Something is off with them. “How hard did they hit your heads?”

Summary: things get hot and heavy in the face of death, mean russians kidnap your hot almost-boyfriend, you have a philosophical discussion about nerdiness with the kids, acid becomes your new favorite weapon, and steve and robin try drugs together. yippee !

Rating: general, some swearing

Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, violence, cursing, blood and mentions of death, use of weapons

Words: 6.7k

Before you swing in: oh BOY do i have a lot to say about this chapter ,,, but for now i will hold off. pls, enjoy her. youve all waited so very patiently for this moment, and im SO excited to see what yall have to say <333

-

“The gate,” you, Steve, and Dustin breathe out at the same time. You stare at the machine before you; the gravity of the situation settles upon all of you as the machine continues to send pulses of light into the entrance of the Upside Down. 

The lights flash, the blue flickers across your face as countless men in lab coats marvel at their creation, and your hands tighten into fists. What they have created will only undo the endless hours you have spent trying to protect everyone, it diminishes every sacrifice that has been made, it taunts the blood that has been spilled. 

You hate them, you hate what they have brought back into your life. 

“We have to get out of here.” No one argues with you, and quickly you guide everyone downstairs.

“What’s going on?” Robin asks as you gently push her down the stairs, quickening her pace. The urgence of your actions, however, only alert her that something is wrong. “Why do you guys look so scared?”

Days of hiding the truth from her have finally caught up to you, you can feel it, and yet there isn’t anything you can really tell her. Not yet, at least; there isn’t enough time. Hurrying down the stairs, you shake your head at Robin. “It’s a lot to explain.”

“I don’t understand, you’ve seen this before?”

She’s always been too perceptive.

You hate her genius mind. 

“Not exactly.” Steve takes over now, trying to help.

Robin’s voice raises, she’s becoming inpatient. “Then what, exactly?”

Two of them argue and Dustin joins in, though you ignore them and reach the last step to start looking for any possible weapons in the room. If you guys have even the slightest chance of making it out of here alive, then you’ll need more than your switchblade and Steve’s surprising new combat skills. 

As your eyes scan the room, you realize, too late, that the Russian guard Steve had knocked out only minutes ago is now gone. Horrified, you frantically whip your head to find him, but the man is gone. 

Wonderful. 

Erica notices this too. “Um, Steve? Where’s your Russian friend?”

With impeccable comedic timing, lights begin to flicker above you as an alarm sounds. Seems the Russian guard snitched, then. 

“Oh, shit!” Your switchblade finds its way into your hand. This just keeps getting worse and worse.

Steve curses as well and sprints to the door to open it, trying to find another way out, but instead he finds a swarm of guards all staring back at him. Cursing again, he slams the door shut. He doesn’t have to say anything, you know by the look on his face that you’re in deep shit. “Go, go, go!”

Blindly you shove Dustin and Erica into the nearest door, tugging at Robin, and Steve takes the rear as the group starts to run. Your senses are in overdrive, your head swims with anxiety and your eyes flicker to any possible way out. Your legs ache with exertion, but you have no fucking idea where you are. 

You make a sharp right and open a random door, but almost immediately you stumble to a halt when you see that it’s the room to the goddamn machine opening the Upside Down. Of course this is the room you chose. The scientists all stare at you, and you really wish you had stayed in bed yesterday. “Fuck!”

“Go, Y/N!” Dustin yanks on your arm and goes left, finding stairs to run down.

You risk a quick look over your shoulder and your heart drops when you see that the Russian guards are close behind. “We got company!” You’re on the landing platform now, too close to the machine and the gate for your own comfort. Dustin screeches as he shoves a Russian against the railing. You wince, feeling bad despite the horrible circumstances. “Sorry!”

“Why are you apologizing to the Russians–holy shit–” Gripping the back of your brother’s shirt, you save him from face planting into the giant laser beam. “Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!”

Steve and the others have joined now, and you realize how helplessly cornered the five of you are. You’re standing on the edge of the platform and the laser’s heat can be felt even six feet away while twenty armed Russian soldiers approach from behind. 

Defeated, helpless, terrified, you turn to the person whose hand rests gently on the small of your back; the only person who gives you solace. “Steve.” 

It’s all you can say, your knees feel weak and your body turns to his, helpless. You don’t know what else to do. Steve’s eyes find yours, he can feel Dustin looking to him for help as well. Robin, Erica. Everyone is looking to him, and yet he’s just as terrified. 

“This way!” He doesn’t know where he’s going, he just knows that he has to protect you. Running back down the stairs, he shoves a guard that blocks the path and you’re right behind him, pushing barrels at more guards that round the corner so that no one else can follow. 

“Go!” You wave the others ahead, now taking the rear with Steve. The two of you do whatever you can to slow the Russians down as Robin leads the kids towards another door. You’re all blindly running through the endless walls of the facility.

The door flies open and everyone rushes into the room. 

Everything happens quickly after that.

Steve slams the door while you hold the kids behind you, away from the door and fearful of the bullets that may rain through it. Steve braces his back against the door. The Russians pound the frame from the other side. 

Madly looking around for any sign of an exit, your body fills with unbearable dread when you realize that you’ve locked yourselves in a room without any way out. 

Dustin’s scared hand grips at your arm. He seems to realize what you already have. “Shit!”

“Robin!” Steve calls out to her, desperate. He’s rapidly losing his footing to hold his position as the guards’ fists rage a relentless war. “Help me, come on!”

She runs to him and throws her back against the door as well, and the distress in Steve’s voice only hastens you as you run around the room. There has to be a way out. You refuse to die like this, far below Hawkins and the sunlight you’ve come to love within the small town. 

Breath quickening, you rush up the steps within the room and drag Dustin along with you. Robin’s face is red now, Steve’s feet keep slipping, and from the force of which the door they hold thuds, you know the guards have started to throw their own bodies against it. 

Something creeks below your foot. You look down and inexplicably hope jumps into your chest. There’s a vent grate, this entire underground facility is full of air ducts, it’s how you got into this entire fucking mess in the first place. “Here! I found something!”

Erica joins you and Dustin and quickly the three of you pry the vent open. You help Erica lower herself inside, instructing her to start crawling, now, when Dustin shouts down to Robin and Steve. “Come on!”

“Go! Just get out of here!” Steve screams back, groaning as the pounding on the door becomes more and more violent. 

Your hand, which had been on your brother’s back, ready to help him inside the air duct next, stills. Your entire body freezes as you look over at Steve, ice cold fear crawls up your neck; doubt creeps in as you realize, far too late, that there isn’t enough time for them to escape into the vent. 

There never seems to be enough time. 

But you have to try anyway. All you ever do is try, you will die trying, you just can’t let it be in vain. “Steve, Robin, let’s go!”

Steve clenches his teeth as another body throws itself against the door. Through his exertion he can see how pale you are now, the realization that dawns on you that you will have to leave him behind, and Steve wishes he could kiss the despair off of your pretty face. “No! Just go and get some help, okay?”

“I–I can’t–” Dustin tugs at your shirt to come with him, but your body is unmoving. You can’t, you won’t leave them behind, Steve’s biceps strain against the doorframe and Robin groans in pain, and yet your brother’s fearful grip on you reminds you of your responsibility to him as well. To protect him, to get Erica home, be with them.

But Steve is in danger. He needs you.

You don’t know what to do. 

“Y/N!” Dustin calls after you as you tear yourself away from him.

Blindly, as your vision darkens and the terror in your body threatens to consume you, you stumble down the steps towards Steve. You need to be close to him, it’s all your mind and body can register as the roaring in your head nearly deafens you.

As soon as you’re in front of him, grasping at his shoulders to try and take him with you, Steve pushes you away. “Y/N, you need to leave–”

“I’m not leaving you!” The shrillness scares even yourself, the sheer desperation to stay with Steve comes deep from within your chest as you scream at him. You’re panicking now, angry at him for even considering the idea that you’d ever leave him. As if you haven’t just gotten him back.

You’re never letting go of him now that you have him. 

Not again. 

Robin tries to reason with you herself, distantly you think she pleads with you, but your vision tunnels and all you can see is Steve. Your body hums with the need for his.

“Y/N, listen to me,” Another thud against the door, Robin’s foot slips, and Steve has to throw his head back and brace for yet another impact. He’s angry at you, too. For not listening to him. For how you’ve always blindly sacrificed yourself, harmed yourself to protect others.

Steve won’t let you hurt yourself anymore, not when he can save you.

Not again.

“The kids need you–”

“I need you!” Tears wet your face now, you’re clutching at Steve’s shirt as Dustin continues to scream at you to run, to not abandon him, and it feels as if you can’t breathe as words begin to tumble from your mouth with hysteria. “We–we can run, right now! You’re fast, and–and Robin can jump and–”

Steve’s lips crash against yours. 

He’s weak and scared and helpless; this is the only way he knows how to get you to listen. 

You breathe in sharply as his lips move against yours, you melt into him. He pours everything into the kiss, your teeth knock against his and your hands find his hair, tugging at it as Steve tries to convey everything that time won’t allow him to. 

The kiss is rushed, it’s messy and it’s aching, and through it Steve begs you. To love him despite the fact that he has to leave you, that he’s doing this for you, he begs you to remember him, and selfishly he kisses you because he doesn’t want to die knowing he’s wasted half the damn summer without ever knowing how your lips felt against his. 

It isn’t death that terrifies Steve, it’s the idea that he almost died without knowing how you tasted. 

When Steve finally pulls away, you’re too shocked to move. His lips are tinged pink and his brown eyes are dark in the lighting and you’re both breathless. Your hands remain in his hair, all you can register is how the strands feel between your fingers and that Dustin is now at your side, yanking at your arm to follow him back towards the vent. 

Numbly you allow Steve’s hands to help Dustin move your limp body, your feet rise to reach the steps. The warmth of Steve’s body is gone now. Faintly you feel your brother’s firm, but gentle, hands as he shoves you inside the vent.

There’s a tugging within your chest suddenly, an overwhelming sensation to turn around, and abruptly you come back to yourself. The roaring in your head quiets for only a moment, the lights are bright and Dustin’s fingers dig into your skin, yet still your eyes find Steve.

He’s far below you now, the Russians have almost broken through the door, and his kiss still sears your lips. Urgently, viciously, you scream the only thing you can think of that encompasses all the love and terror within you, “Come home to me!”

Steve opens his mouth to promise you that he will, he always will. You can hear the promise even before he’s said it, but the doors burst open and Dustin slams the vent’s grate down. 

You ran out of time. 

The echo of the grate’s slam rings in your ears. 

– 

Erica is the one that guides you through the air ducts. 

You haven’t said anything since leaving Steve and Robin behind; it’s been hours now, and yet still you do not speak.

Dustin crawls behind you, worried. He watches your body shake slightly as you crawl through the narrow space. His stomach lurches when he notices how white your knuckles have become from how tightly you clench your fists. 

You’re clinging onto what little resolve you have left, it’s evident to Dustin, and he worries about when, not if, you’ll finally snap. He knows that now isn’t the right time to initiate a code blue, but he’s concerned seeing you so broken. He hates that he can’t do anything, that he dragged you away from the others. 

The air inside the ducts is warm, almost nauseatingly so, and the ringing in your ears has yet to fade. Steve’s kiss still burns your lips. His promise to you, that he would return and come back home to you, the promise that he couldn’t make, drowns out all of your other thoughts. 

Come home to me.

He hadn’t had time to answer you. 

The thought nauseates you more than the sickening heat that surrounds you. You left him. Robin, too. 

You left them both behind, just like you left Will behind the night the Demogorgon got him. And the kids, that night when you abandoned them at the middle school and left them vulnerable to that fucking monster. And Jonathan, when he thought his brother had died and you were too lost in your self pity when he needed you the most. 

Now, after promising Steve you’d stay, sworn in the passenger seat of his car as the snow fell around you both, you’ve left him once more. 

Take all the time you need, I’ll be here.

The promises you’ve made burn so deeply that a wince escapes your lips, and Dustin quietly asks if you’re okay. 

“‘M fine,” you manage to rasp out, crawling forward despite the tormented tugging that begs you to turn around.

You hear Dustin’s lips part, he doesn’t believe you and wants to argue, but you keep your head turned away from him and he instead settles on sighing. You’re not ready to talk about it, not yet. Not now, not when you feel as if you’ve lost a piece of yourself. 

Erica turns a corner and starts to slow down. “Fans up ahead.”

“Great,” Dustin groans when he sees the giant blades spinning, blocking the way forward. “Think we could time it right and jump through them?”

“If you wanna lose a head, sure.” Erica snorts, unpleased with the risky idea. “Don’t you have tools in those lame ass cargo shorts you’re wearing?”

“My cargo shorts aren’t lame…”

You sit quietly as Dustin and Erica try and figure out what to do. You’re still in shock, you can’t gather the energy to try and help them. It’s like a switch has been flipped inside of you, deactivating your ability to do anything other than be plagued with the crippling sensation of loss. 

Eventually Erica convinces Dustin to try and break into the control panel next to the fans and shut them down manually. He pulls a screwdriver from one of his pockets (to Erica’s utter amusement), and starts unscrewing the bolts. Through it all, you remain quiet, and when Dustin looks over at you, he finds you staring blankly at the walls with an almost lifeless gaze.

He sighs. Needing to distract himself, Dustin figures now is as good a time as any to explain everything to Erica. The Russians, why they’re here, why you’ve almost lost your mind trying to protect everyone. “It all started the night Will disappeared, two years ago.”

Dustin explains the Upside Down, the Demogorgon and how it was able to travel to their world through a gate El had accidentally opened with her powers, and now how the Russians have somehow found this gate and are attempting to reopen it.

Erica, to her credit, listens. She doesn’t question a thing, and Dustin is surprised by her lack of sarcastic input, but when he finishes explaining everything, the girl only has doubts about one thing: Lucas being involved. 

“Wait, so you believe everything about El and the gate, and the Demodogs and the Mind Flayer, but you question your brother’s involvement?” Dustin asks the girl, in disbelief of how her mind works. 

“That’s correct.”

Then, surprising them both, you finally speak. “Lucas is brave, Erica. He’s done a lot for the party.”

Erica’s stony expression softens slightly, her usual argumentative demeanor backs down. “Yeah, well. Whatever. You’re damn lucky it’s your birthday and I feel bad for you.”

It’s not much, but you know that she’s spared you her malice. For once you accept the sympathy, even if your luck has run out hours ago when Steve kissed you and then tore you apart. “Lucky,” you snort. “Yeah.”

Dustin and Erica look at one another wearily, though you pretend you don’t see it. After a few heartbeats, your brother clears his throat and goes back to unscrewing the control panel.

“Um, you need help with that?” Erica asks the boy, doubtful of his capabilities. When Dustin tells her no, she doubles down. “I mean, it’s taking a while, so–”

Dustin huffs at her. “Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.”

“Don’t cuss at her.” You butt in, but Erica has already started back with her arguing. 

She claims that at the slow pace you’re going, Steve and Robin stand no chance, and her words make the nausea claw up your throat. Dustin notices the way you clutch at your stomach and he quickly tries to reason with Erica, maybe say that she’s wrong, but the girl only continues to talk. 

“I mean, we’ve made it about point-three miles in nine hours.” Erica looks down at her watch as she speaks, but her eyes almost swim with the numbers you assume she envisions in her mind. “Then we had to walk three hours down that tunnel, so I’d estimate ten miles back to the elevator, which should take us approximately twelve and a half days.”

You and Dustin look at each other, baffled. No way Erica managed to come up with those numbers all on her own. Sure, you’ve always secretly suspected that she was more intelligent than she let on, but Jesus. You can hardly remember the multiples of seven on a good day. 

“Did you just do all of that in your head?” Dustin asks her, eyes wide with astonishment.

Erica shrugs. “I’m good with numbers.”

“That’s an understatement,” you mumble under your breath, though you’re starting to feel more like yourself again. Dustin calls Erica a nerd, which she adamantly denies, and the light hearted conversation almost seems to draw you out of your state of shock, albeit slowly. 

Your brother lists off all the proof he has of Erica’s “nerdiness” and you listen, chuckling. The genuine offense on the girl’s face is hard not to laugh at, and when Dustin sees that it seems to be cheering you up, he doubles down on his efforts. 

“Fact number three: you love My Little Pony.” He holds up Erica’s backpack that has two ponies printed across it, which you snort at.

Erica crosses her arms defensively. “And what does My Little Pony have to do with this?”

“Let’s recall the ponies’ latest adventure, shall we?” Dustin clears his throat and begins retelling the tales of the ponies, and you cannot believe that your fourteen year old brother still watches the show and pays enough attention to understand its themes and narrative. “Ergo, My Little Pony is nerdy. Ergo, you, Erica, are a nerd.”

“Not to take sides,” you poke your head between the two kids. “But why do you know so much about the show, Dustin?”

“Because I’m a nerd.” He manages to get the control panel open and rips the wires out of it. Electric sparks fly as they disconnect and the fans behind you slowly come to a stop. “Now, let’s go, nerds.”

Erica glares at him before turning to you. “Do you watch My Little Pony, Y/N?”

You shake your head. “No, I’m not that pathetic. I read comics instead, like the mature seventeen year old I am.”

The girl rolls her eyes at you, entirely over you and your brother, and starts crawling through the air ducts once more. As she leaves, Dustin stays behind. “Hey,”

His hand wraps around your arm and stops you from following Erica. You pause, confused as to what he may want. “Yeah?”

“Are you okay?” In the lighting, for just a moment, Dustin looks up at you and he’s the nine year old little boy who once feared you would get lost in your mother’s grief and father’s anger.

The last icy tendrils of shock melt, you come back to yourself when you hear your little brother’s fear for his sister. Taking Dustin’s hand into yours, you squeeze it. “Of course I’m okay. I have you.” 

Dustin laughs softly, relief evident within his exhale, and you yank his hat off of his head to break the remaining tension away. He lunges for it, betrayed, though he laughs again anyways, and for a few seconds it’s just the two of you giggling to yourselves as you fight over the hat. 

“Are you two shitbirds coming, or do I gotta kill those Commies on my own?” Erica shouts, now on the other side of the air duct.

With one last tug, Dustin tears the hat from your grasp and sticks his tongue out at you. “Last one to Erica owes the other $5!” He starts speed crawling towards the girl, giving you absolutely no chance of winning, and you hang your head in defeat and sigh.

The fucker owes you so much money already.

–

It takes hours.

Back aching and knees bruised, you crawl behind the kids in the seemingly endless maze that resides in the facility’s air ducts. It’s similar to the tunnels you walked through what feels like years ago originally, with Steve holding your hand through it all, though you know it couldn’t have been less than a day ago now.

The entire time, your mind doesn’t once quiet its concern for Steve and Robin. Just when the pounding in your head becomes splitting, Dustin stops you and Erica.

“Y/N, help me remove the vent.”

“Why, what’s up there?” You’re next to him, squinting through the grate’s small holes. All you see are what appear to be a line of vaults, though it’s hard to tell. “I don’t see anyone.”

Dustin starts prying at the vent. “Exactly, there’s no one up there and look, can’t you see it?”

You squint again, getting even closer to the holes to peer inside. Something glows bright green on one of the vault’s shelfs. “Is that…?”

“Uh huh. Now help me, will you?”

It takes a minute or so before you’re able to pry the vent open. Together, the two of you slowly lift your heads through the opening and look around. The room you’ve ended up in is empty. Along its walls are rows of vaults with multiple vials of the green chemicals you found in the elevator. 

You’re not entirely sure what your brother has in mind, but you know it can’t be anything good.

“Jackpot!” Dustin breathes out with newfound exhilaration. He climbs out of the air duct first and eagerly starts looking around while you help Erica out. 

The two kids look around in amazement, but you survey the area out of habit. It’s too quiet within the room. Being so close to the chemicals again leaves you on edge. “Stay close to me, we don’t know who could be nearby–”

“Oh!” Dustin abandons your caution in a heartbeat. He starts running down the steps, and when you see what’s gotten him so excited, you follow after him. There’s a cart right at the bottom of the stairs, parked to the side without anyone in it. 

It could be your ticket out of here, if you’re lucky.

“Do you even know how to drive?” Erica teases Dustin, but you step past her and join him to inspect the vehicle. 

He waves an indifferent hand at her. “How hard can it be? Max did it.”

“That was the worst car ride of my life” You shiver at the memory. The taste of blood fills your mouth and you can almost feel the bruises again. Shaking your head, you force yourself to focus. “Think you could hotwire this?”

Dustin furrows his brows and ducks his head under the wheel. He shuffles around, mumbling to himself, before he curses. “No, it’s one of those fancy, expensive carts. Which is goddamn ironic for people who hate wealth. We need a key.”

“Okay, that’s not how Communism necessarily works–”

“Did you two seriously think they’d leave keys in there?” Erica interrupts you, cutting straight to the point as she always does. 

Dustin starts digging around the cart now. He checks the mirror compartment, under the seat, wherever his hands can reach. “There’s gotta be a spare…” When he comes up with nothing, he shoves you out of the cart. “Go and look inside the vault room.”

“A ‘please’ wouldn’t hurt.” Though you do as you’re told, trusting that the room is secure enough to leave him and Erica alone for a few minutes as you look.

There are vials everywhere, but no signs of a spare key. You wander the rows, the green liquid glows ominously. Drawing your face closer to one of the vials, the liquid bubbles in its glass container. This small, inconspicuous vial is what melted cement back at the elevator.

An idea comes to you. 

“Dustin,” you call over your shoulder, eyes still on the chemical. “What if we grabbed some of these vials and used them as some kind of weapon? I mean, it’s some pretty powerful stuff.” No one responds, which you frown at. It’s then that you realize it’s become suspiciously quiet, and with your heartbeat in your throat, you run back towards the kids. 

You find Dustin with spare keys in his hand, a proud smile on his face. “Found ‘em.”

“I’m going to start making you pay me every time you give me a goddamn heart attack.” A hand rests against your chest as you try to lower your heart rate. “I mean, this just can’t be good for me–”

A loud, spine tingling crack of electricity zaps behind you.

Screaming, you jump at the noise and into Dustin’s side. You both turn around, coming face to face with a giant electric prod held by a smiling Erica. 

“What the hell is that?” Dustin shouts at her, fear still in his voice. 

“A deadly weapon.” She zaps it again and the sound is deafening. “Could be useful.”

Both hands on your chest now, you hunch over and try to not to have a heart attack right then and there. “You kids are going to kill me one day.” You swallow, take a deep breath. “God, why can’t we stick with knives? They’re quiet, quaint. Not at all terrifying.”

“Knives against Commies? I thought you wanted to save your boyfriend, Y/N.” Erica swings the prod as she speaks and you hold your hands up.

“Let’s not swing that around, okay? The last thing I need today is to be electrocuted by that thing.” When she lowers the prod, you continue. “But…  you should keep it. It’ll be useful for saving Steve and Robin.”

Dustin steps in front of you. “Wait a minute, aren’t you always lecturing me about being realistic? We don’t even know where they are.”

“And aren’t you always lecturing me about putting the party first?” You can’t believe that Dustin isn’t tearing the place apart to find Steve. “We can’t just leave them here. No way you think I’d let you do that.”

“But there are a million guards up there with weapons way deadlier than that!” He points at Erica’s electric prod. He starts walking towards the cart, keys in hand, and beckons you to get inside it as well. “Admit it, the best thing we can do for them is get out of here and find help. Our chance of surviving, and theirs, rises substantially.”

“No.” You don’t step foot in the cart.

“Just trust me on this.” Dustin tries to get you into the cart, but you plant your feet on the ground and refuse to move. “Y/N, please don’t be difficult right now.”

“I said no.” Your voice hardens. Dustin has never been one to back away from a challenge, and yet here he is. Accepting defeat and leaving Steve and Robin to suffer the consequences of it. You’ve always been the first to stand behind realism, to denounce insane ideas and stunts that the party always manages to get itself into, but this time it’s different. 

Somewhere within these walls, your friends are facing unimaginable terrors. They sacrificed themselves to save you and the kids. Once again, Steve Harrington has saved your life.

And you’ve always evened out your debts to him. 

“We’re going to look for them.” You walk back into the vault room and start grabbing vial after vial of chemicals. There’s an air of authority in your demeanor, daring the kids to argue with you. You’re taking control now after being numb for so long. Dustin follows you, tries to argue, but you continue grabbing vials from the shelves as a plan forms in your head. “We are going to grab as many of these as we can, load them up into the cart, and then drive around this shithole until we find our friends.”

You shove the vials into Dustin’s arms. He blinks at you, this is the most clear headed he’s seen you since descending down in the elevator. Marching back towards the cart, you place your own vials down. “Then, we are going to use whatever chemical this is to cause a distraction. We’ll melt something, maybe cause a fire. I don’t give a shit what we do. All I know is that we are going to then save our friends and get the fuck out of this hellscape. Do I make myself clear?”

Dustin and Erica stare at you, jaws slacked, both now sitting in the cart. Taking their silence as a yes, you nod, pleased. “Fantastic. Now, my dear brother, start driving or I will. Either way: we’re leaving.”

He gulps and tightens his hands on the steering wheel. When you’ve settled into the back of the vehicle, he starts the cart. “Let’s go, then.”

As Dustin drives, Erica twists in her seat to look at you. She’s impressed, albeit still slightly terrified. “Have you always been so scary?”

“Yes. I just hide it well. Makes it more useful when I need it.” 

– 

You’ve just finished counting the vials when Erica seems to decide now is an appropriate time to ask invasive questions. 

“So what do you see in that hair guy?”

“You mean Steve?” Although, you suppose that hair guy is a pretty good indicator for him.

Erica nods. “Yeah, I just don’t understand how someone like him could impress you. He wears a sailor’s uniform and flings ice cream all day long.”

You’re oddly touched by this, though her description of Steve makes you sad. He’s so much more than just some guy who scoops ice cream. He’s brave, selfless, sensitive, and kind. “Don’t give me too much credit. There’s a lot you don’t know about Steve.”

She makes a disgusted face. “Yuck. It sounds like you love the guy.”

Dustin cringes and looks disgusted as well. He doesn’t want to hear his sister waxing and waning about his friend. “Can we not talk about that right now?”

Erica pinches his side, causing him to nearly crash the cart into the wall. “I’m an inquisitive person and clearly they’re in love. Y/N almost bit your head off when you suggested abandoning him.”

“Okay, I didn’t suggest abandoning him.”

“It’s just the facts!”

They argue, forgetting that you’re there. However, you need the distraction, and talking about Steve has always made you feel braver than you really are. A smile spreads across your face when you think about him. The words spill from your mouth without any effort. “I do love Steve.”

Dustin’s arguing fades away. His eyes meet yours in the cart’s rearview mirror. He already knew that you loved Steve, but to hear you say it, to see the blush that invades your face whenever you talk about him, it makes everything more real. Guilt washes over him. He wanted you to leave the boy you love behind. 

“Look,” Dustin sighs. He needs to get this off of his chest. “I’m sorry about telling you to leave Steve and–”

A scream echoes within the hall. It’s feminine, familiar. 

“Robin,” your stomach twists. She’s alive. And close. She has to be close if you can hear her screams. You grab Dustin’s shoulder. “Go!” 

He slams on the gas and the cart picks up speed. Rounding the corner, he brakes harshly and you’re in yet another hallways. It’s silent, there isn’t anyone there. You close your eyes, you’re close. You can feel it, but you can’t locate them if you don’t know where they are. 

“C’mon, Robin, “ you plead. “Help us find you.”

Another scream, this time it sounds even closer.

“That way!” Erica points left, and there’s no time to doubt if she’s right. The three of you jump out the cart and grab the chemicals. Dustin also grabs the electric prod, and then you all start running. 

Robin screams again, and this time you can place which door it comes from. Adrenaline rushes through you. You have to work fast. At the end of the hall you see what looks to be an alarm switch on the wall. It wasn’t a part of your plan earlier, but it’ll have to do.

“Erica, go to the switch down there. When I say go, you press it. Alright?” She nods at you, quickening her pace. You turn to Dustin next, grabbing the vials from him. “Get the prod ready. I’ll throw the vials.”

When you get to the door that separates you from Robin, you press your ear against it. Voices are muffled, but still Steve's voice comes through as well. Your heart jumps. He’s with her. He’s alive as well. 

Erica stands at the end of the hall and you hold your palm up, signaling her to wait. Looking at Dustin, he nods at you and holds the prod to his chest. Taking a deep breath, you start throwing the vials harshly against the floor.

You use all the anger within you to guide what little strength you have left. The anger drives you, it propels the vials, it shatters them. The chemicals spill everywhere. The cement floor begins to erode away, sizzling. After you’ve thrown your last one, you shout to Erica, “Now!”

Alarms sound overhead. Erica runs back towards you and you shove the kids behind a barrel. Within seconds the hallway fills with Russian guards and they swarm around the melted floor, but you keep your eyes on the door. Silently you beg for your plan to work. The door has to open, whoever is inside has to come and investigate the damage you’ve caused. 

An agonizing three seconds pass. Sweat drips down your face. Then, a man comes crashing out of the door. He marches down the hallway and disappears when he turns the corner. As soon as he’s gone, Dustin slams through the door. There’s a man dressed in doctor’s scrubs within the room, but your brother attacks him with the prod and knocks him out quickly.

Erica and Dustin stand over the unconscious man. They’re surprised the plan has worked. Yet all you see is Steve. 

Everything else fades away. He’s tied to a chair, his face is bleeding. You run towards him, uncaring about whatever else may be in the room. A whole fucking army of Russians could be standing next to you right now and you still wouldn’t spare them a single glance. 

“Oh, honey.” The sentiment drips from your lips as your knife cuts through the rope that binds him. You’re so fucking relieved that he’s okay, that Robin is as well. But there’s so much blood. In your periphery you see a tray with a bone saw on it. 

“There’s my pretty girl!” Steve giggles, head lolling to the side as he admires you. “Isn’t she the prettiest, Robin?”

Robin giggles as well, her face just as bruised and bloodied as his. “So pretty!” 

“Oh God,” despite their injured state, the two teens are in an unusually good mood. They giggle like school girls, Robin even bats her eyelashes at you. Something is off with them. “How hard did they hit your heads?”

Dustin starts to help you untie Steve. “Get ready to run.” He instructs them with a firm voice. However, Robin and Steve continue to laugh. As if this is all one big joke to them. 

They almost seem… drunk. 

But there isn’t time to ask any questions. Any minute now the guards will return. You cut the last rope that’s tied around Robin and ask Erica if she can carry her. They’re too loopy to walk straight, you’ll need to help Dustin carry Steve back to the cart.

It takes a lot of yelling, slapping Steve’s hand away from your face as you struggle to drag his limp body to the cart, more bribes for Robin than you ever would’ve imagined, but miraculously you get the two idiots into the cart parked outside. 

As soon as they’re secured in the back with you, Dustin steps on the gas and you leave the Russians behind.

“Tried promising you I’d come home, angel.” Steve is sprawled on your lap. His eyes are cloudy, he isn’t quite here with you. 

“You didn’t have to say anything. I knew you’d promise me.” You reassure him. Carefully, you brush hair out of his face and you inspect his wounds. The cuts don’t look too deep, but you’re worried he might have yet another concussion. Thankfully, however, the blood has already started to scab over. The worst of it is over, and yet your heart still constricts when you remember that he’s injured because of you. “My poor, sweet honey.”

Steve closes his eyes and hums with content. “I love it when you call me honey.” He rolls onto his side now and nuzzles his bloodied face into your stomach. “Makes me feel special.”

Your fingers find his hair, careful to avoid any bumps and heart swelling at what he’s said. Clearing your throat, you look to Robin who is on your other side. You start checking her over as well. She isn’t as battered as Steve is, though a bruise is forming on her cheek. 

When she sees you looking at her, she winks. “I lived!”

“You did,” you squeeze her hand and her head falls against your shoulder. She lets out her own content sigh, and you play with her hair as well. They’re still with you. Still whole and alive.

With Steve and Robin safely wrapped around you, you can finally rest.

-

⌑ series masterlist

⌑ if youd like to buy me a coffee ☕︎

⌑ thank you for reading ! feel free to like, comment, reblog, or send in an ask so we can chat <3

[tiredsmashbros]

THURSDAY - .... um...?

well would you look at that. the blue bitchass is beginning to give up... how wonderful doing a party ain't easy don't try this at home-

WELL... since... SMG4 isn't going to announce something cool, i um, will! similar to the 1K birthday party last year on thursday, i'll show an itty bitty wip update once more on:

LIPBITE PART 3!!

since i already teased lil bit from this page a few days ago, i thought might as well show the whole thing!! obviously not final, but very close to it. frankly i've been meaning to have this next part done before 2025, yet i kept getting really sick, and having to manage several projects and irl issues/events. hopefully within my last spring semester i can continue working little by little but i can't genuinely guarantee a date. other than later this year LMAO. but what i CAN guarantee is i'm making sure its as great- maybe even better than pt2 as i'm putting a little more effort and thought from improving the past few months. alas, it is slowly in the works and reminder to folks i AM in my senior year and will be graduating THIS SPRING!! yippee!!! hopefully, after this event i can get back to prioritizing this one as i slowly get back to college. either way, once its done, i hope you guys will enjoy it as much as i do and hopefully the wait will be somewhat worth it. until then, wait patiently fuckers /silly

BUT THATS NOT ALL!!

since obviously that one sketch above ain't going be enough

here's a bunch of other things i've worked on during my fall semester that seems pretty cool and relevant but never uploaded on here !!

this is a illustration piece i made for my screen printing class! with the printed one being off from the reference since i put the color order wrong LMAO and i also wanted to experiment how chaotic i could make it hehehe. kinda shy to share this piece in particular, but its honestly one of my favorites i've done, so theres no harm in sharing

the same class, but as 1/3 of my final, i had to make books! but because i'm horrible with using pins and too picky with paper + string alignment, i thought it would be best i do... well... a very silly collage-like project xDDD buTT!! this one taking the opportunity to make a cool TSB book!!!

lastly, something even more crazy, another final from one of my other classes... a kickstarter.

BUTT PLEASE LET ME STATE THAT THIS IS FAKE AND PURELY MADE FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES. I AM SOLELY SHARING FOR FUN AND ENTERTAINMENT. THIS ISN'T REAL WHATSOEVER AND VERY LIKELY WONT EVER BE.

okay legal reasons out of the way-

i've shared this with very few people on my server, HOWEVER, instead of me being in control what you can and can not see, i've decided to just let it out for people to see the silly jokes and additions around the page i've made on your own free will, and additionally to help folks get a more semi-direct answer to what TSB story is to those who haven't caught up or confused! a win-win lmao

welp. time's nearly up for me so i will flee for now. hopefully this satisfied some interested despite not being TOO grand, but just small silly goodies for the day.

but if you're still reading this, all i gotta say is tomorrow is a more special day. something i'm very proud of and hope ya'll will enjoy 🍔

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Baboom

Debut: Super Mario Bros. Wonder

Baboom is my number one favorite new enemy from Wonder! In the days after the game's release, I was extra careful during what felt like the eternity before I got to play it myself (it was a week at most.) to not spoil anything for myself, and I succeeded, mostly! Yippee! And while I was playing through the beginning of the game, at least three friends all individually told me there was one enemy that they felt I would absolutely love. And they were right!

Let me tell you. I gasped when I saw it. I gasped when I saw this little waddling plastic tube. You know me! I do things like that. Its pure white eyes. Its adorable little trot. Its use of primary colors like some kind of baby's toy. But don't give it to a baby! This is explosive! You also shouldn't give any living creature to a baby! Why would you do that? You should be giving it some mashed carrots instead.

Speaking of babies though, it is Baboom who is the baby here, because it is canonically the newest of the living bombs produced by Bowser's Minions! What a little darling! It may be a little unclear what exactly it does at first, but when attacked, Baboom will begin shooting fireworks directly upward, one for each body segment! This "uses up" each segment, including the last one, but they don't actually explode themselves. Do you think they can still live after this? A "spent" Baboom, a single red segment, living a peaceful life wherever it landed? That would be nice.

I hate fireworks. Far too loud and bright. But Baboom makes it fun! It can be carried, and its fireworks used as an upward attack, defeating enemies, breaking blocks, and making coins fall! It is so enriching to shoot upwards in a Mario game. These fireworks cannot hurt the player, which seems like a big problem for a weapon made to fight Mario. An enemy that defeats enemies, and does not hurt our heroes? My word! Can this be? The classic and beloved story trope of a weapon made for evil rebelling against the circumstances of its creation? Hooray! Who says Mario games don't have complex stories? Look at the motivation I personally ascribed to this one disposable bomb. What are the other enemies thinking at any given time? There's surely a stunning story in every Snortoise!

Wonder has all these cute little animations for enemies bumping into each other, and Babooms will do a little... nod? toward one another when they meet! It's hard to tell if it is a nod given its anatomy, but whatever it is, I think it is saying "hello my friend!"

I would be remiss to talk about Baboom without mentioning Kab-omb, the ORIGINAL firework Bob-omb variant! I like Baboom more, but I hold a lot of respect for Kab-omb. A bomb just looking for a kiss, or maybe a glass of chocolate milk with a bendy straw. Is that so wrong?

[bigassmoth]

I see a lot of Nagumo Yoichi x Reader smut that has an antagonistic relationship (a lot of back and forth and banter, him always trying to piss you off). But personally I think Nagumo would he down bad for someone who kept it straight up 100% real. No tsundere nonesense, no tolerating bullshit, whatever you say he takes seriously.

Of course its his personality to be a lil shit and (inappropriately) silly- but you recieve much of his merriment and little of his more humiliating pranks. He is enamored with you and because of your direct, honest nature, he knows that breaking your trust once means your relationship is over. This is one of the very few times in his like that Yoichi has been *serious*. (Smut undercut)

Not that he shows it in a conventional away. While abroad for work, you would send him simple texts and pictures along the lines of "hope you are safe" "remember to eat breakfast" and "I miss you". The last one makes his heart flutter the most but his response is to go "lol youre so sweet<3" because he is ofc a shithead.

He misses you a lot though and it shows when he returns. Clingy, doting. You try to plan a way to celebrate over text, maybe a fancy dinner or movie or crashing an old folks home bingo night. But he insists that all he wants is some of your lazy cooking and to be home for days. You thought he would be tired but he was energetic as he tackled you in a hug so suddenly it made you shriek.

"Aww~ youre so scared, were you lying about missing me?" He will tease you as if he didnt purposefully sneak into his own apartment just to pounce on you. You flick his forehead as a nonverbal scolding but reaffirm you had missed him dearly. His heart is beating fast at the frank affection to show him.

"You reeeaaally did want me back? Why?" His hands are already under your shirt and groping at your chest. You relax into his hold, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Because I like you." Your simple answer had him panting in arousal. He ground his hardening cock against you, and shivered in pleasure when you reciprocated.

"Ah, so honest. One of the only honest people left in the world- you deserve a reward for that." A reward he would love to give you tonight. His voice is thick with need and his body warm and beginning to sweat.

-

Nagumos unassumung brown eyes are hazy as they watch you writhe in bed. He touched you at your preference and command then supplied options when you were too breathless to speak.

"Does it feel good?" He knew the answer from the heaving sighs that you released with every snap of his hips.

"Yes, always." You indulge him in answering for the 5th time since he started pounding your hole.

"Yippee~ do you want me to go faster?" He pressed rewarding kisses on your temple. The way he handled your chest contradicted his lighthearted tone. No amount of [yippee]'s could obfuscate the expert and perverted roll of your nipples in his finger tips.

"Ngh- no, this speed is good. I dont,,,want to bruise." You were panting in between words, clearly trying to maintain your composure.

"Mmhmm, ok baby. Just close your eyes, Ill take care of it." You nodded and did as instructed. Much of the tension left youe body as you stopped trying to be an active participant. Nagumo wanted you to relax completely under his care. Let him fuck you exactly how you like it for as long as you want- even when his cock feels like it could fall off from the stimulation. Your honest praise made him your loyal dog, he would go to any length to please you. He wanted to- his cock strained at the opportunity.

[utterlyazriel]

whom the shadows sing for — (and the thief's echoing hymn)

a/n: annnd we've made it to velaris ! yippee !! now it's time for all the introductions >:D i hope you enjoy pls let me know what you think angels <3 ok mwah bye

word count: 3.5k

synopsis: You wake up somewhere entirely new, a long, long way from your home.

CHAPTER EIGHT :: STRANGERS (AGAIN)

The air all around you is sickly sweet.

Maybe... sweet is the wrong word. The air is clean; perfumed with an allure of scents you've never smelt before, heady and swirling, sweet and sterile all in one.

But more importantly, it is utterly foreign.

You're in unknown territory. Age old instinct has you shifting the moment you wake, surging up in a rush before your memory can catch up and remind you why that's an terribly bad idea.

The sheets rustle as you push yourself up into a sitting position, a heavy dose of panic already poisoning your system. It doesn't take long for the pain to follow.

You falter in your movement as an aching agony ricochets through your body, forcing out a wince. Your eyes screw up in pain. Your entire body feels like a bruise, punishing you with every movement.

You allow yourself only a moment of pause before you force them back open to take on the new threat, every sense filtering in unknown information as they sluggishly come to life. You have to blink rapidly to clear your vision, light coming in from all angles.

Why does it feel as though you've been asleep for years?

Where are you?

A room. You're not outside which is where you memory places you last. The extent of the memory drifts back as you search the room, your eyes climbing the walls, ravenous for details. They're made of some kind of warm coloured stone that covers the whole ceiling, you realise, as you follow the line of it up.

You screw your eyes up again and blink hard when you open them again. Every sense keeps pinging for your attention, a thousand things unfamiliar. The bed beneath is too soft, the sound of the wind outside isn't a whistle, the clothes on your back...

You startle, stumbling off the bed you've awoken on as you peer down at yourself, eyes moving about wildly. You're wearing... something completely new.

Frowning down at your arm, you raise one of your hands and pinch at the new fabric that covers the expanse of your arms. It's soft. So soft.

You tentatively smooth your hands down the tunic you're clothed in, all the way down to your pants. Each thing is finely made, with details far smaller that you would ever consider, and soft. Warm but sturdy.

What the fuck? Your chest starts to heave as panic truly sets in, your breath just out of reach before you can catch it. You gasp, grasping at your chest tightly, the new clothes scrunching up beneath your fingers. Memories begin to trickle back in as your mind scours for any information about how you ended up here.

You had been... cold. It was raining.

And your wings had been—your wings—your brain trips over the thoughts as every detail bleeds back in, sudden and frightening.

Stakes driven through the flesh of them, your wings pulled taut, stretched out for lashings and prepped for removal. Your terror climbs, its cloying grip tightening around your sternum like a fist.

Eyes screwed closed, you pray to every deity you can imagine, begging the Mother for this one thing.

You twitch the familiar muscle and feel the weight of your wings as they respond. There's no describing the relief that bursts within you, overwhelming your panic in an instant, your knees nearly buckling beneath you. They're still moving, still stretching out as you command them, still yours.

You stand there and peer over your shoulder, stretching your wings out as far as you can—cringing when they stop before full extension, buckling and bunching up at the violent spike of pain that ripples through them. It echoes through your body, making you hunch forward and grit your teeth. Your left eardrum wails extra loud.

What had happened? What had changed?

You could recall the finality of being down on your knees in the pouring rain, your hands are bound as your fate. Endless agony. The secret you couldn't keep, despite all you had tried.

You had been resigned to it—to dying there amongst in the dirt from where you had come from.

So, what changed?

Behind you, there's an abrupt noise from behind a door in the room, a rustling that makes your head snap around to face it.

Someone’s coming.

You stumble back a couple steps, dread mounting in your chest and your panic returns in full-force. You don't know where you are, you don't know how you got here, you don't know who is coming through that door.

You know that you have a lot more foes than you do friends.

Eyes darting around the room frantically, you spot a balcony down a small hallway and don't waste a single second.

As you begin to stride, you realise faintly that you're without shoes, feet bare on the cool marble floor. It turns to carpet beneath you as your fast strides transforms to a run, hearing the door open somewhere behind you.

It feels like a trap. Not the nice clothes or the fancy room would be enough to fool you. You're caught in a sickly sweet trap of honey and the net is being reined in, the ropes closing up on every side of you. It feels like you're being chased.

Heart in your throat and pulse rabbiting wildly, you burst through the doors of the balcony, daring a glance behind you without thought—

—and you nearly plunge off the edge of a mountain.

The gasp that escapes your throat is entirely involuntary, your fingers gripping the edge of the stone railing the adorns the balcony.

Your balance tips momentarily, the momentum of your dash nearly pulling you over. Terror freezes you. You're fairly certain with the state of your wings, it would be a short flight and an almost guaranteed casualty.

But a wind blows gently against your face, as though helping push you back to safety.

When you're sure you're not going to topple over the edge, some of your crippling panic eases. Your breaths, short and fast, begin to slow.

Your eyes travel up from the daunting height of the mountain side and widen, all the air in your lungs stolen in pure surprise.

Because before you, stretching out across the land that meets the sea, is something you've never seen before.

It's... a city.

A city that sits amongst the rolling, steep hills of the terrain and curls around a meandering river that leads out to the ocean. Tall, jagged mountains surround it from all sides, their hills steep up the top until they give way to gentler slopes, eventually becoming paved roads and streets for magnificent buildings.

The structures gleam, even from afar, made with precision and beauty in mind. Some are white marble or warm sandstone, others the same red stone of the mountains beside the one you're standing on. Small, quaint houses with green copper roofs, their white chimneys smoking softly.

Your breath stutters out in an exhale and you don't dare blink.

A city—a sprawling, wondrous city that was bursting with people, with colour, with life. So utterly unlike the chilled gray-scale of the Illyrian Mountains.

In fact, you wonder briefly if this was even the Night Court at all. This— this incredible sight felt like something you'd imagined of Summer or Spring, imbued with warmth, a place where things could grow and thrive.

The Night Court was... foul. It was the biting frigid cold of the wintry mountains or the shudder-inducing darkness of the court that lay beneath the mountain. This... where is this?

As though you've spoken your thoughts aloud, a voice answers from behind you.

"Velaris."

You start, whipping around fast enough to reawaken all your wounds, forcing you to stifle a pained noise that leaps up your throat. Your heart thunders as your eyes lay upon an unfamiliar figure, stepping out from the empty hallway—a form cut from the very night itself.

Your hands grip the stone railing behind you and you're unsure whether it's to keep your knees from buckling in fear or from bolting off the edge, into uncertain skies.

He's unfamiliar to you, yes, but you have a feeling you know exactly who he is.

"You asked where this—" The male waves a casual hand to the city beyond the balcony before pocketing it, either unaware of your panic or uncaring. "—is. You're in Velaris."

He surveys you, his violet eyes glancing down at the strained way you clutch at the railing.

"I know you must have a thousand questions. We haven't been introduced. My name is Rhysand and I am—"

"I know who you are." You interrupt. There's a lilt of fear in your voice but you couldn't keep it out even if you tried. He's the fucking Highlord of the Night Court.

Which means—Azriel.

His name slams into you like a shooting star, glowing hotly and dripping through your ribcage with a fire warmer than you've ever known.

Azriel must be— he was the one- he's the reason you're still alive. It feels like you relive the relief of his appearance during the storm all over again, remembering that he came back for you.

You have no idea the cacophony of emotion you're giving off, shouting all your unguarded thoughts across the balcony.

Rhysand's cool expression doesn't falter at your disruption. He looks at ease, both hands in his pockets, like he's merely having a conversation with a friend.

"Then it's important for you to know," He continues. "that I mean you no harm."

Lying, lying, liar, LIAR—the thought festers from within you instinctively, only growing in its urgency. You and everyone else where you come from are well aware of the origins of your Highlord.

And while he's your ruler, he's first and foremost, an Illyrian male.

"Only half," Rhysand corrects.

You startle, sickly surprise at the fact he seems to be able to read your very thoughts.

Then he confirms it, by saying, "And I can."

"You can read my thoughts?" You echo, voice sounding so much meeker than you intend. You sound like a child—and you feel like one, feel like the same eight-year-old staring down at the scorched brown earth in Exordor. Old blood. The same dirt you had been forced to kneel upon that now makes you shudder at the fresh memory.

Rhysand's expression falters momentarily at your train of thought, a flash of hurt on his handsome face.

His eyebrows draw together, forming a sympathetic, troubled look. "I can teach you how to shield them, if you so wish."

You don't make a noise. You don't even dare to take a breath, your fingers still crushed around the railing.

Within you, some part of you knows what he's offering. What the very nature of his words implies. He voices it anyway.

"You're no prisoner here. You're free to—”

"Where's Azriel?" The question falls from your lips before you can even think to stop it. Fear hammers through your chest—Fae that make a habit of interrupting Highlord's often find their lives cut short.

But Rhysand gives no impression that he minds. All he does is step to the side, revealing the empty hallway out to the balcony.

Except it's not empty anymore.

There, standing back to hide in the shadows as he did best, is your Shadowsinger.

Reserved and holding back, clearly waiting for you to remember him, to make your call before he made himself known. Making sure you wanted to see him at all.

Azriel, all 6ft something of shadow and muscle, with his wings tucked politely behind him, takes one step out on to the balcony and towards you.

His hands stay at his sides and his hazel eyes watch you with a familiar intensity. Something deep within you unfurls at the sight of him.

It feels like the collision of a thousand stars rain down on you, their jagged, burning fragments pelting into your body.

It's as though the world had been falling out from underneath and then, seeing him before you—when Cauldron knows how long ago you had been resolutely convinced you were never ever going to see him again— suddenly your feet were grounded and the world was still.

You breathe out his name. Azriel sways forward, almost imperceptibly, as though the sound of his name on your lips was a siren call he was helpless to fight.

You don't know that you say it sweeter than he's ever heard it in all his centuries.

Like following an invisible tug, you don't even realise when you start moving, only that you're rushing towards him with an urgency you can't begin to comprehend. It's like he's calling to you and you can't bear to be this close to him and not press in closer.

His beautiful face, usually guarded, reveals a glimpse into his storm of emotions. Concern, care, and something that looks suspiciously like... longing.

Your brain catches up and your feet falter, bringing you to a stand still before him, chest heaving.

Reason starts to catch up to you, asking meanly about what exactly you meant to do, running up to him—you weren't raised with physical touch beyond violence. You and Azriel had barely touched beyond sparring and those quiet nights in your shelter, skin brushing as you passed something to the other.

In the end, it's not you that moves, it's Azriel.

He closes the distance between you with one single step and his strong arms sweep around your middle, pulling you into the tightest hug. Night-chilled mist and cedar swirl your senses.

Helpless to do anything else, with no desire to do anything but this, you melt.

Your weight slumps into Azriel and he takes it without question, your arms curling around his neck to hold him back just as tightly. The light around you shifts, his shadows frenzied as they kiss along your neck and arms, all checking for hurt they can ease. Your heart is torn between soaring and stopping altogether.

The world fades away as his head ducks down, pressing his face the crook of your neck. It's more touch than you've ever known. More safety, more kindness than you've ever dreamed of. You and Azriel seem to exist only in a cocoon of shadow and warmth, in each others arms.

"You're alright," Azriel murmurs, his breath against your neck. It sounds more like he's reassuring himself than telling you. He sounds devastatingly sincere when he says, "I'm so fucking glad you're alright."

"Thanks to you," You whisper back, not wanting to break the silence. "You—"

The words get caught in your throat and you know you need to see his face when you say this. Pulling back from the embrace, you clear your throat as Azriel straightens up. You miss the heat of his body almost instantly.

"I-I thought I was never going to see you again."

It looks as though your words pain Azriel, a flash of pain and shame crossing his expression. His voice, low and gravelly, holds a guilty tone you've never heard him use before.

"I never should have left."

You blink. That wasn't what you had expected him to say in the least. It was you who had lied, who had deceived him from the very beginning. He was— he had— this was what you got for letting anyone get close to you, you understood that.

You shake your head, pointedly ignoring how it makes your injuries throb. "I know why you did, Azriel. I can't imagine—"

Azriel's scarred hands clench into fists at his sides, anguish colouring his face.

"No." He shakes his head, his jaw clenched tightly. "You did nothing wrong. Nothing."

"Then why did you leave?" Your questions comes out with an edge this time, a biting fury as your emotions process what he's saying.

He says you did nothing wrong. He says he shouldn't have left you behind. It's a ugly mixture of hurt and anger that paints your insides as realisations churn to the surface.

Azriel steals a glance to the side, serving as a quick reminder that there was, indeed, someone else still out on the balcony with you. You glimpse at the Highlord as your anger begins to bubble but you can't bring yourself to care.

You had... trusted him— you had let him in, let him get closer to you than anyone ever had, and he had left. He left, he left, he left. He did exactly as you had feared and he was wrong for it.

The greatest secret of your life, exposed like a raw nerve, and he hadn't said a word as he deserted you.

Your heart warbles at the betrayal and you can't help but step back, putting distance between the two of you. It's such a far cry from the nearness of a moment ago.

And even though you know he wasn't responsible for the events that followed, in the haze of your upset, it's awfully easy to add it to his betrayal. As if in response, your wings flinch and shudder as a wave of agony passes through them. You wince, gritting your teeth and turning your gaze to the ground.

"I can leave to give you both some privacy," Rhysand cuts into the conversation, evidently answering Azriel's pointed glance in his direction. "However, I don't think it will be overtly helpful. She's shouting every thought so loudly, I think I'll be able to hear it from the other side of the house."

She. It's been so many years since anyone has used that in reference to you that it nearly winds you, your entire body giving a visible flinch.

It feels foreign. You can't quite tell how you feel about it; whether it's some lost part of yourself to reclaim or whether it's something you've outgrown altogether.

You don't get time to consider it further as, bustling as she walks, a fourth Fae steps out onto the balcony. She's an older female in appearance but certainly not in her sprightliness. Her eyes land on you and they lighten up, as though you're the one she's been searching for.

"You are supposed to be resting." She tsks, without much further explanation. Your heart sinks, already feeling as though you're in trouble. Rhysand, reading your abrupt switch from anger, jumps in to explain.

"Madja, here-" He gestures to the female with a polite smile- "is our resident healer. She's been taking care of you over these last couple days, helping to heal your wings."

A severe reminder of the sorry state that had been in not too long ago. Glancing over your shoulder, your eyes glaze over as they take in the dozens of scattered markings that litter your wings. Irreversible. Your glorious love, changed forever.

There's patches over the ends that you hadn't noticed before, covering where you know the stakes had been. You suddenly feel an immense rush of gratitude towards the stranger before you.

"Thank you," You say, your throat thick. You want to say it again, want to repeat it over and over til your lungs bleed because just once doesn't seem enough.

But Madja nods in a grave way, as though she knows your internal turmoil.

"You weren't supposed to be up and moving quite so soon," She says, this time with less disapproval in her voice.

She directs a more withering look towards Rhysand and Azriel, enough to surprise you. Perhaps, healers held a higher rank within the city than they did in the mountains? The whole scene looks like a mother scolding her naughty children, especially with how both males shrink beneath her glare.

"Anyhow, come now," She turns back to you and gives a gentle wave of her weathered hand, ushering you back inside. "You'll need at least a days rest before you should be back on your feet."

You amble in her direction, too fearful to glance back at the Highlord and too conflicted to turn back to Azriel. You had broken his trust with your deceit but... he had broken your trust back.

He had abandoned you when you needed him most. But he had also turned up during your darkest hour and saved your life.

You weren't sure what you wanted to do more; hug him once more or throw a shoe at his head. Probably both would make you feel better.

From behind you, you swear you hear a faint chuckle of amusement.

—

When it's just the two of them on the balcony, Rhys turns to Azriel, ignoring his brother's unsubtle sullen demeanor.

"So," He grins. "Mates, then?"

Azriel casts a glance across the balcony, still rigid and unmoving from his spot. His shadows perk up at the word but Azriel gives no reaction beyond a twitch in his jaw muscle. Debating whether to respond at all.

Finally, he mutters, "How could you tell?"

Rhys tilts his head back, chuckling quietly, his mind cast back to an old, fond memory. His violet eyes slice back to his Azriel and he gives a little shrug. "A hunch, really. I think I might have enough to start a theory actually."

He wanders over and nudges Azriel with his shoulder, breaking him from his frozen spot and nodding for them to both head indoors. Rather reluctantly, the Shadowsinger falls into step. Side by side, Rhys gives him only a moment of quiet to stew in before he pipes up once more.

"Say— how much do you remember Cassian and Nesta's first meeting? Any flying projectiles?"

[NEXT PART: FRIENDS (IN OTHER PLACES)]

tags below!

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@shinyghosteclipse @randombibitch @itsjustwinter @emryb @books-all-the-way13

[vind3miat0r]

project meridian loop theory

oohhh boy, we're back with me putting on a tinfoil hat and yapping about theories again

this is, of course, about the newest Project Meridian audio, so spoilers for that!!

(putting everything under the cut because theres a LOT)

JESUS CHRIST. okay. thats a lot. lots to unpack here mhm yep.

okay guys hear me out: Asset is stuck in a time or a simulation loop

bear with me im about to get REALLY nerdy with this BUT

Star Trek: The Next Generation, Season 5 Episode 18 — "Cause and Effect" is a time loop episode. the entire crew gets caught in a time loop for about 27 days (but they obviously dont realize this until theyre out of the loop) the loop always begins with Captain Picard's personal log, and always ends with the accidental destruction of the Enterprise brought on by their warp core exploding due to being damaged while attempting to get away from an incoming ship that lost control of its direction

throughout the episode, each time the loop resets, the crew experiences intense deja vu, brought on by the fact that theyre reliving the same day over and over. theyre able to predict small events that happen (what cards come next in a poker game, Beverly predicting Geordi coming into Sick Bay, etc)

AND in one iteration of the loop, the crew figures out that theyre IN a time loop, and devise a method to avoid getting hit by the previously mentioned ship, which would set off the chain reaction of the warp core exploding

they do this method by using big brain science time knowledge that im too tired to understand, but basically the motif of the number 3 starts showing up in the next loop reset, and when the Enterprise is once again faced with only two choices to get away from the incoming ship, Data realizes that the reoccurring 3s are connected to Commander Riker (who has three pips to signify his rank)

(for context, in every loop where the Enterprise gets destroyed, the Captain followed Data's plan of using the tractor beam to steer the incoming ship away from the Enterprise. Riker's plan was to depressurize the cargo bays) Data follows through with Riker's plan, and this time the Enterprise doesnt explode (yippee!!)

you might be thinking, "Vinn, you just explained the entire episode to us. what does that have to do with project meridian??"

well, using instances from "Cause and Effect," we can compare them to some instances that just happened in "Something's Wrong"

— the second phone call could be an outside attempt to break Asset from the time/simulation loop

— Asset knowing who the Solitaires are despite not having access to information on them could be from another loop where James told them who the Solitaires are, and Asset remembering

— the phone at the end could signify the end/restart of the loop

— Asset's uneasiness about the Meridian in the beginning of the audio and their want to "seek approval" before entering it ( could be brought on by them somewhat remembering whats happened in previous loops)

— the first phone call (the one James picks up), theres some spooky ooky ambience in the background (could be that the phone is a conduit to the "real" timeline/world and only Asset is able to pick up on that??)

— when Asset and James leave the first room and enter a new area, someone on the PA makes an announcement for the Deltas. this announcement glitches, but James doesnt seem to notice, as he continues talking (i cant quite make it out, but it almost sounds like someone else is saying something?) (again, it could be interference from outside of the loop attempting to reach Asset)

— when stepping out of the elevator, someone brings James "the latest simulation report." again, outside interference/echoes from a previous loop perhaps trying to signal to Asset that theyre stuck in a simulation

— phone at the end also as someone saying "pick up" or "wake up," didnt realize until someone pointed it out. its very faint, but its there (again, could be someone attempting to break Asset out of the loop)

one thing that i find interesting (thats not related to the loop theory) is that James says the force in the Meridian "diverts demons away" and "breaks human minds" when usually demons are allowed through the Meridian and humans just. die. then again, we have no idea when PM takes place, so it could be normal if this is like,,, a good number of years in the future

uhh hashtag yeah. im perfectly sane guys :3

[romantichopelessly]

invitation to speak more about the secret good td3 in your head, if you so desire!

Ok so I sat on this ask for DAYS because I wanted to have some cohesive, great answer, but the thing about The Dreamer Trilogy that haunts me is that I can never come up with good concrete thoughts about how to fix the issues I have with it, which is why I reference the “secret good td3 in my head” because it can never fully leave my head in any real way. That being said here’s a list of some elements I would change to make my secret good td3, in no particular order.

The visionaries don’t exist. Liliana, Persifal, etc. are just psychics that keep getting visions of the end, and die for reasons other than their power. Explaining what Visionaries are and subsequently over explaining the magic system of td3 is part of what made the trilogy so confusing and ruined a lot of the magic that the TRC universe already had for me. We don’t need concrete explanations, and psychics can still fill this role. The changing age and exploding added nothing?? to the narrative?? that I can think of?? We can even keep the age gap for Carliana if we want to, just make Liliana an older psychic like Maura/Persephone/Calla. It will even add to the excellent Carmen-Mr. Gray parallels.

Lean more into the themes of the age group. TRC is a coming of age story. It’s about being 17/18. It’s about learning your inner self and getting others to see the true you. TD3 should be more about being 19/20/21. To me, TD3 at its peak is like Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 6. Which is uniquely about the horror of being in your early 20s, losing support systems, having to learn to be a full self-reliant person, grappling with what your parents did to you, and the crushing loneliness of not being around Your People anymore. TD3 has all of these themes, but I really think they need to be fleshed out more, and given proper conclusion that isn’t just “yippee everything is fine now!”

Greywaren is longer. I think almost everyone agrees that Greywaren, as a book was just too short to wrap up all the plot lines set up, and does almost none of them justice. That book needed a whole rewrite. In theory, I’m completely fine with how it opens—Ronan being in a dream coma was foreshadowed from CDTH, and is an idea that I’d actually thought of as interesting before even reading the book. Other elements of this book like Declan’s rampage, Matthew going rogue, etc are great directions for the characters, I’d just want to rework them. I could make solo posts about any of these.

The Pynch breakup either doesn’t happen, or is set up further in advance and lasts longer. Personally, I lean towards the latter. Adam and Ronan’s conflict is set up from the very beginning of CDTH, or even from Opal (Adam warring between wanting to stay with Ronan and needing to follow through with his lifelong plans, and being frustrated that Ronan never asks for anything from Adam (specifically, to stay) ((side note: perhaps Adam’s insecurity here about Ronan respecting his boundaries so thoroughly stems from both having a family that never would respect his wishes, and Gansey (Adam’s model of love, Adam’s model of everything) having to learn not to ask things like that of Adam. What does it mean that Ronan never even tries?)) AND Ronan dealing with the crushing loneliness of being left and dealing with the consequences of having a long distance bf who is more successful than him). So they needed to have an argument about this. It’s also just in character that these two would not be perfect communicators. So. My idea: In CDTH we get no Adam POVs, just Ronan’s side of the story. We see, rather than Ronan just getting upset over one missed text, that Adam begins to pull away after the murder crab incident. We the audience don’t know why, other than Ronan’s unreliable narration and insecurity. So when Adam doesn’t respond to that one text at a vital fraught time, Ronan does what he does best, shuts down, pulls away and self destructs. Then MI rolls around and we start getting Adam POVs. We learn that after the murder crabs, Adam was throwing himself into trying to fix the nightwash situation for Ronan (Adam is not in contact with Declan here, unfortunately). After visiting for Ronan’s birthday and seeing the Lace, Adam starts to have dreams/premonitions about the end of the world (no visionaries in this universe, just psychics who are/were close to dreamers getting the visions!!). So he obviously sets out to fix this alone too. He calls his best approximations to contacts in this underground world that aren’t Declan. Henry and Mr. Gray. (+ maybe also Maura & Calla) ((Also don’t worry Henry doesn’t leave the Sarchengsey trip, just advises Adam on where to start)). Now that Adam has lost contact with Ronan (he was busy and missed the message and Ronan went off the grid like in canon), he goes full throttle into trying to solve everything while managing being his perfect Harvard persona (this gets him close to a breakdown, very reminiscent to Dream Thieves). Perhaps we get to see Adam and Declan working together to acquire sweet metals and understand the underworld of magic together. He and Ronan fight the one time they get to talk over the phone, Adam because he is truly scared Ronan will be the one to end the world, Ronan because he feels like this is another person perceiving him as a failure and wanting to control/baby him (+ he hates Adam hanging with Mr Gray and Declan of all people). By the time Greywaren starts, Adam is wrung out and hurting and Ronan is dead to the world, so yeah. He doesn’t think he can spend emotional energy playing safeguard to his boyfriend’s coma corpse. And then by the end of the book they have an actual argument/discussion no “they didn’t need words” cop out.

The number of Dreamers/Dreams has to be reduced. It’s cool to say that dreams were always integrated into this world, but it creates so many plot holes it isn’t even funny. There is no way Niall could have passed off the Greywaren being a box that brings dreams to life if Dreamers were such a common occurrence. No secret can be kept that well, someone in the black market would have known, and thus Greenmantle/Mr. Gray/Laumonier/ect WOULD HAVE KNOWN !!!

Declan does not have all his character erased by suddenly loving his mommy and daddy. Seriously what the fuck was that. Declan suddenly deciding to forgive his father because actually Declan was secretly the favorite child first is INSANE. Especially after seeing that that changed because Niall and Mor WANTED TO KILL HIS BROTHER!!! The two tenants of Declan Lynch in TRC were protecting his remaining family and fucking hating that Ronan idolized Niall just because Niall loved him best. So why make Declan turn around and do the same??? Suddenly Niall wasn’t so bad because actually he let Declan be shoved into a car trunk during a shootout out of love. I hate this plot line. Family doesn’t have to be forgiven. Understood, that’s one thing. Forgiven?? Not always. Sick of it. The real takeaway from seeing those memories should have been closure to Declan’s arc of learning that dreams should be viewed as people completely.

I definitely have other points but I cannot think of them right now. And I want to post this so I will. But TD3, as you can see, makes me an insane person.

[lovedrruunk]

Hi! I saw that you were taking requests! Is it alright if I can request venture with reader that loves placing kisses all over their face? Hopefully this is alright with you if not feel free to ignore this!

'Kisses galore ⊹.(⸝⸝ ˆ ³(⁎˃ ᴗ ˂⁎)˚.

Venture (Overwatch x GN reader)

[Established relationship!]

Authors note!!! (;° ロ°); third....venture.... post......I have like 5 posts in total... well anyways!!! idc cuz i luv them! and i love YOUUUU AHH tysm for requesting this it was super fun to write i hope u like it !!!! also sorry its pretty short! I kinda wrote it on a whim wanting to post it before I went out so its not proof read either (Im actually so late rn its not even funny okay srsly gtg bye!)

Y’know that one tiktok trend that was popular last year where someone would be reapplying lipstick and then the camera would turn and its their s/o covered in kisses yea yea that’s just you guys all the time lol

In the beginning of your relationship they’d get all flustered and have this goofy grin on their face whenever you’d smother their face in kisses. Oh? And how do they react now? The exact same! Literally nothing has changed since the first time you’ve kissed them, they still giggle and look away. No matter how long its been they just can’t seem to get used to your affection

They could be hit by a bus going 200mph, in critical condition and one kiss on the nose from you would get them up and doing a little jig going yippee!

They might pretend to be annoyed or irritated but really that's just because they love playful banter and it’s pretty obvious how they feel about your kisses by the way they laugh and refuse to let you pull away

Their favorite moments with you are when you're laying over them somewhere enjoying each others company with your hands on their cheeks and your lips all over their face

They're pretty ticklish overall so kiss sessions usually turn into laughing fits

Although 99% of the kisses you share are all in good fun there are those times when they're sad or angry and you're kisses can't help but feel a bit more intimate and loving (please kiss their tears away!!!)

They appreciate you so much like they literally can't get enough of you. They cherish every kiss like it's the first and definitely act like it too. If you tell them they're blushing they'll deny it with their whole chest meanwhile looking like 🟥

“Augh! You’re suffocating me!” You and Sloane had been neglecting all your duties for the day in order to lay on the couch and bathe in the warm sunlight seeping through the windows. You both had been watching some random brainrot on their phone when you got bored and decided to pounce on them planting loving kisses all over their face. "Oh shut up" you playfully roll your eyes as you kiss them on the lips this time.

"One of these days I'm gonna die and you'll regret not listening to me" "Boo hoo" you giggled at their melodramatics deciding to pull away from them, but before you could you felt their hands tighten around you holding you in place.

"I mean... Dying in your arms doesn't sound so bad..."

"Yea yea whatever" You mumble happily as you lean down again pressing a kiss to their cheek.

[conversewithmyconverse]

Three Cheers for sweet revenge plot song by song according to me

My credentials are that uhmm ive listened to this album like weekly since i was like 12 and uhm im taking english A-Level (crime and tragedy) sooooo

Full disclaimer i could do a line by line analysis on pretty much all of these songs but then this would be stupidly long so im just touching on the points or lyrics i think are most important for the plot! Oh and i cant spell and im trieddd of writing academic essays so im kinda yapping ngl

HELENA

honestly i barely have anything to say here but i imagine its the demo woman’s funeral (yes ik its abt Gerard ways grandma but let me cook) kind of setting the tone and exploring his grief, creating the circumstances for his deal with the devil - especially in the bridge.

GIVE EM HELL KID

Ok so here!! Is where i start to have more to say!! So in my head the man (im just gonna call them tje man and the woman or like he/she from here on) has accepted the deal with satan to kill 1000 evil men and is basically on a killing spree? So from my immense medical knowledge of watching house im preity sure epidrene is a steroid, which like gives him energy (interestingly ive been on them a few times for asthma and they have a long list of mental side effects such as uhhh mania (fall out boy whooo) anxiety and depression which maybe foreshadows his sorta insanity towards the end as his guilt haunts him) acting as a symbol of his immense motivation to see his wife again, so verse one especially is before his downfall where hes like yippee killing people to see my wife again!! The chorus i imagine is sang by both him and the woman in heaven as they both long for each other uhm and later on in the song it does seem as if hes begining to kind of loose it a bit due to his grief? kind of foreshadowing his well everything later on in the album. In the bridge i imagine hes kind of mocking their teenage selves (linking to im not okay later on) especially in the line “we are young and we dont care” criticicing their hopefullness by comparing it to their current circumstance - ironic as it only gets worse from here.

TO THE END

Now i know this is based on a rose for emily (i tried to read it and there were a LOT of slurs from what i remeber so that was yeah) but for the sake of my silly little narrative were kinda just not gonna touch on that. So here i believe the man has been set to kill this couple, just to find the wife has killed her husband (with the “cyanide you drank” i assume) which drives him into a sort of crisis, questioning if this was what would have happened to him and his wife if she had lived and they had stayed married for this long (fueling his sexuality crisis in prison). I could go so much further into this, especially language wise but for the sake of everyones sanity ill leave it here :)

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO TO GUYS LIKE US IN PRISION

so hes literally in the middle of a gunfight in the centre of a resturant and the police come and theyre like come with ur arms raised high and ok so!!! Theres many people who could explain this better than me but the man gets arrested for killing all these people and gets sent to jailllll. Ive heard some people talk about it as an allegory for SA in prison and others who talk abt it as him realising his gay/bi ect and honestly i can see both. I really like the line “too much to late or just not enough of this, pain in my heart for your dying wish, i kiss your lips again!” Which, running with the latter intrepretation, suggests hes feeling regret for all the murdering hes done and is questioning if he ever did love his wife this much, and if he should move on and fix his mistakes. So to make a long story short he has a sexuality crisis in prision! Toward the end, he escapes prision and with his “friends” from jail, lilely from setting it on “fire” (i got the friends bit from the lyric “but ill go down with my friends”) escaping jail but at the cost of further loosing his sanity and grasp on morality.

IM NOT OKAY (I PROMISE)

for conveniences sake he either gets knocked out (the giggles at the end of prision i guess beinf from a concussion or something?) or just like goes to sleep somehwhere after the prison break with the other ex inmates and has a flashback to his time in high school, when he fell in love with his wife. As an audienve were kinds like dude she did not like you back then calm down which makes us question the morality of his mission, but for him it reminds him of what hes fighting for and erases the doubt he had in their love in to the end and prison. I will say im kinda pidgenholing this in with the flashback but uhm yeah!

THE GHOST OF YOU

This song acts as a continuation of his grief, back in the present day after im not okay made him remember what he was doing this all for. This basically confirms his belief that killing all these people is right because he needs to see her again. He battles with his morality knowing that she should be “never coming home” cause shes dead but then considering the deal with satan and its morality asking himself “could i? Should i?”. Towards the end, it seems like he decides killing the men to bring her back is the right thing to do. the line “If i fall, down” seems to show his commitment to her regardless of morality, hes willing to ‘fall down’ to hell if it means he gets more time with her which is ironic as he later does go to hell, but never gets to see her again.

THE JETSET LIFE IS GONNA KILL YOU

and hes back to killing again!! I think “her killing jar” is a metaphor for his fixation on his wife and the things its driving him to do. Hes trapped as if he was in a jar by the deal he made with satan for her. Its kind of difficult to explain but essentially hes assuring himself that hes doing it all for her and its all worth it as his sanity slowly dissipates, which i believe is demonstrated through the lyric “pull the plug” kinda symbolising hes giving up on himself and dedicating everything to her. Now this is obviously unhealthily obsessive and is the point where we definately start to question if what hes doing is right - is he not essentially playing god now? Should one man act as judge, jury and executioner?

INTERLUDE

ok its literally just the interlude but here i beleive he is praying for god, the “saints”, to “protect” his wife in heaven further showing his like motive? For all of his murders - his love for her however dangerously codependant.

THANK YOU FOR THE VENOM

HE KILLS MORE PEOPLE 🔥🔥 its almost like he has to kill 1000 evil men damn. BUT now hes starting to loose his grip on reality and is killing innocent people. I like to think he goes to the church he married his wife in and starts killing people - hence the line “sister im not much a poet but a criminal” - hes changed completely from the man he once was. They try to convince him to like stop saying its not what his wife would have wanted but he does not listen - in the lyric “preach all you want but whos gonna save me” - and continues to spiral into a life of crime and implied addiction (when in the chorus he says “give me all your posion and give me all your pills”)

HANG EM HIGH

THIS!! This is the one i can never fully figure out despite it being so good 🙏🙏 it feels like a cop out to say he suddenly becomes a cowboy or idk has to kill a cowboy but any other way i can interpret it is just the same old back to mourning his wife and dedicating his life to her so uhm yeah take any of those 3 or your own and run with it (please tell me if you know how to make this fit better than me)

ITS NOT A FASHION STATEMENT ITS A FUCKING DEATHWISH

Hes now so deep into his mission he cant quit despite the regret he feels. This kind of links back to his mocking of their younger selves in give em hell through the lyric “do you remeber back there when we met you told me this gets harder, well it did!”. Hes kind of pondering how his life got this bad wishing it didnt have to be this way. however he believes they will soon be reunited - evidenced through lines such as “im coming back from the dead” and the repeated references to resserection and him finding his wife, “your running out of places, to hide from me”. At the end, he says “i lost my fear of falling, i will be with you”, further showing he thinks he will soon see his wife again and simmilarly to the ghost of you shows hes willing to sacrafice his soul just to see her again

CEMETERY DRIVE

trust me the fake music video in my head for this goes HARD. So he visits the cemetary where his wife is buried to kinda tell her in a way? That hes almost finished and he’ll see her soon. And in my like the cool cinemetic imaganary music video he dances with her ghost but uhm plot wise hes kinda lamenting how much he misses here as the chorus goes “i miss you, so far”. Now theres some confusion as to how she died as here it says “and they found you on the bathroom floor” but in i never told you it says “they gave us two shots to the back of the head” so i imagine he got caught up in some like bad stuff and they killed her in their home - the bathroom - which does add some depth to his grief as he feels responsable for her death hence why he wants to bring her back so bad. His dedication to her is reinforced through the lyric “so i wont stop lying wont stop dying” which as ive said a lottt shows his like questionably large levels of motivation in this mission from satan. The repetition of “way down” at the end foreshadows the twist in the next song - that he's going to hell - and this idea has been building up throughout the narrative but its reaching its peak now and we begin to see it as a serious possibility considering the innocent people he has killed alongside the guilty ones.

I NEVER TOLD YOU WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING

Aaaaand im realising ive made it all the way through this without even having to check the tracklist which shows that i lack a life! But anyways this song communicates the concept so well and i genuienly could line by line delve into it but for the sake of conciceness as i have been i will just cover the basic concept

OK SO! Hes metholodically getting through this list (im inferring he has a list from the line “i keep a book of the names”) kind of rushing through them, seen through the fast pace of the first verse, in my head it resembles a video montage of the murder of multiple people off of the list. This is further evidenced through the lyric “another knife in my hands” showing this has somehow become his everyday life as hes become so detached from normalicy in his grief. NOW NOW NOW the lyric “a stain that never comes off the sheets” is an allusion to lady Macbeth (I FREAKING LOVE SHAKESPEARE) (im a hamlet girl tho honestly) where she couldnt wash the blood off of her hands which is a common literary symbol for guilt showing his mission has taken a massive toll on him mentally if we did not already realise this. “It aint the money and it sure as hell aint just for the fame” implies he does not enjoy killing these people despite the fact hes killed probably over a thousand people which againnnn shows his dedication to his wife. Now i know ive said that about a billion times but thats important to consider when we take into account that he does not get to see her again - everything he did was essentially worthless, in fact if anything everything he did just sealed his fate. Therefore, if we view him as a tragic hero (i can go so much more into this but thats for another day) then his hamartia is his love for her, his loyalty which kinda gave him tunnel vision meaning he could not see the flaws his plan and the way he was being exploited by satan.

now theres so much symbolism in the lyrics i could discuss (I LOVE THIS SONG) but i will refrain and kinda skip forward to the bridge/the end. I like to think he turns the last page in his book of names to just see his own name and then begins to spiral - this is where the song goes “and we all fall down”. Im preitty sure gerard ways like screams say “i tried” which like furthers this breakdown as he comes to understand all the wrong he has done and his inevatatable damnation. After a large moral debate he thinks it would have been better if they were both killed together originally “never again / they gave us two shots to the back of the head” and he shoots himself in the hope he will eventually be with her in the afterlife, and if not then a life without her is not a life worth living anyways. It ends with the lyric “were all dead now” (which they are) which reminds me of the rhyme/ game from when i was a kid ring a rosies (which i swear is about the plauge) and how that ends by saying “we all fall down” kinda showing the corruption he brought into the world and that everything must come to an end. This is typical of a tragic hero - his anagorisis (realisation of his flaw / mistake) and then his death - which is why i personally do veiw this album as mostly conforming to troupes of traditional greek tragedy :).

aaaaand thats it!! I dont count bury me in black or desert song as part of the album plot uhhh if anyone else does id love to hear how that sounds so cool but yeah!!! Oh and sorry again for any typos and spelling errors i cannot spell for the life of me uhmm this could be so incoherent for all i know (if so sorry!!) but i hope not 😛

lmk if you’d actualy wanna hear the full yap poetry annotation style for a song cause i love nothing more if not talking i might do the same for danger days if i feel like it so watch out 🔥🔥

[cheesycatz]

Worm in the Apple is at 200k words now! Also, happy Pi day.

HE'S FINALLY FREE YIPPEE *non-biodegradable confetti*

Essay I just wrote 👇

Spamton’s goal since the very beginning was freedom. More specifically, the freedom to go where he pleases, do what he wants, and interact with the world without the constant fear of being killed. He initially sought to gain freedom by somehow overcoming the antivirus forces and repopulating his species, destroying the wretched city he was trapped in and controlling what remained. His disguise wasn’t just a way to blend in, but a way to infiltrate and gain the power he needed to enact his plan. But, he became very distracted by the addisons before he could get very far. They unknowingly taught him empathy, something different from the cold apathy and spite that normally fueled him. No matter how much he yelled and threatened them after his true identity was revealed, Spamton blamed himself for becoming too attached to the fake life of his puppet. He knew they never loved him, but the prospect of pretending they did was as alluring as a moth to a flame. He now saw every interaction with the addisons as a business transaction; he would only hold worth if he could hold up his end of the deal. His old motivations surged stronger than ever. With less than a second thought, he stalked Kris through the entire city, cornered them in the mansion basement, and dedicated every last scrap of energy he had to killing them. It wasn’t enough. He wasn’t enough. Whether Spamton died with the rest of his species or clung to life, the outcome was the same. Nothing. He was now a ghost, still stubbornly clinging to the mortal plane because he didn’t know what other choice he had. A parasite can’t live without its host, no matter how much it hurts them. After all this time, his teeth were still latched into the addisons, and he kept trying to pull away even if he knew he’d rip out flesh in the process. But, they’d grown tired of this constant struggle. They cut through every mask he hid behind, prying the truth out. Under all of his vengeful fantasies, what he truly desired was to be loved. A desire the addisons had introduced him to. A desire he finally understood. The teeth finally let go. He is so very tired, but his life was finally crawling back up. Yet, while he was no longer alone, he was still suffering. They knew how he still longed for freedom, and they’d do whatever they needed to fight for it. In the end, the bonds he had formed with them were all the evidence they needed to grant him freedom. It was enough. He was enough. Spamton finally learned what it meant to be loved.

don't worry about the confetti being non-biodegradable wormton ate all of it

[grugems]

Hii ! Hello !! I watched BBC Ghosts and I'm planning to watch the CBS version and I cannot even begin to explain how much I love how you draw Pete doing scout stuff with his troop (or just existing ) !!! Your artstyle is amazing !!! If it's okay can I suggest a doodle of him reacting to the "Yipee" creature/ meme ? No pressure if not ! Have an awesome summer , and hopefully it's not too warm where you live :D

thank you so so much for supporting my art it means a lot !! i hope you enjoy watching cbs ghosts !!! :D

i feel like if pete saw the yippee creature, he wouldnt be able to stop quoting it around the ghosts every time something good happened (or if there was any awkward moment of silence) xDD

and thank you i hope you have a nice summer too !! it has been suuuper warm where i am but i think its cooling down a bit thankfully haha

[the-gayest-show]

Rise Of Ms Power is... An Experience

watching rise of ms power is such a heart wrenching experience because after 6 seasons and far too many episodes, i've really developed a lot of love for the entire world of wordgirl and although i love every wg episode with a passion, i cannot take ms power slandering the villains and the status quo.

like, no hate on this episode, writing wise it's peak, and I'm being the perfect audience member by hating Ms Power as a personality but not as a character. As a character, she's wonderful. Written so interestingly, has some interesting lore upon her, is used as a pawn to deviate from the status quo and drive all of Fair City out of its usual episodic drum for an hour's worth of wordgirl episodes (which is 4 episodes) but god.... i'd never meet her in person. she's exactly the type of mf you hate to be around, and I love how intentional that is. I love to hate her. Literally if I met her, id never be friends with her or even talk to her. perfect "true" villain that differentiates from all the other villains, not because of her actions necessarily, but the way she regards people. especially other villains. she's such a good antagonist because she refuses to participate in the flow of the fair city status quo. questions EVERYTHING. makes fun of EVERYONE (hell, even exposition guy... what did bro do to you... he;s exposition guy.....) and is just evil from the heart out.

dunno how to explain it better but the villains we see on the show? they have decency. sure, they've probably threatened the city 1000 times or stolen goods to their hearts' content, but i feel like when you see them in action, they're human. we see them in other episodes in the villain association (#epic world building for the villains woot woot), they are super chill with each other (mostly), and even with wordgirl and the general population, they are pretty normal. like if not for their crimes, they're probably fun people to have a coffee with or hang out with. (maybe that's why WG believes they can be redeemed...)

we sometimes see eps in this show when they're not on crime sprees and having "off days", and they're doing completely normal shit (mostly. i still wonder why dr two brains has an orange tree) or at the very least just chilling and having fun. we see villains in normal society just hanging out, and when they're not actively attacking the city or smth, they pass pretty well as regular mfs.

but ms power? ms power said "fuck you actually" to the status quo.

i'm autistic and i love me repetitive elements, so i always felt a bit offended when she tries to change everything up from what it's supposed to be, but even then, she takes a perfectly harmonious episode structure and begins subverting expectations from fricking day one.

makes fun of all villains ever

makes fun of exposition guy

basically speedruns a dictatorship where WG and her rule the world and any opinion stating otherwise is rejected and jailed

turns wordgirl into a bullying machine because ms power is a woman who believes wg needs to use her words to attack EVERYONE outright, even good guys

this is also funny when you consider that at the end of the special we find out ms power is like. half inhuman. some kind of snake thing?

(look guys dr two brains is also kind part non-human, but that's not the point)

it's suchhhhhh a good metaphor for what she's like inside: some kind of monster who manipulates wordgirl into being just as evil. even dr two brains, guy who merged with mouse, isn't THAT bad. at least he's got steven going for him (this is debatable, might make another post abt that whole thing). anyways. but the mask that ms power puts on... it's so human. it looks like what wordgirl is (and the audience intially thinks this too): an alien who looks human like. just like wordgirl. a hero! an adult figure for wordgirl to look up to! one who's helped train other heroes, damn it! someone she can connect with over being a superhero! yippee!! we needed that tbh!

and yet under the mask, she's a creature. someone not to trust at all. she has powers and stuff, but she doesn't have the heart of a superhero, and that's what this episode teaches you. because halfway thru the special, the entire city starts emulating ms power and being dicks to each other. a superhero like wordgirl falls for this trap so therefore it's acceptable! two heroes! doing this! and it takes a few people who still remain true to their values to snap wordgirl (and collectively, the city) out of it and get back to the status quo.

i also like the parallel of colonel gigglecheeks being ms power's sidekick like huggy is to wordgirl, but gigglecheek's got stretchy arms. basically ms power is like wordgirl but ""better"" because she has: a) resources (giant ship) b) assistant with superpowers c)experience d)ms power herself having more powers (eg. ice)

-

wordgirl does a REALLY good job of making you care for the villains in the show. like they're so fun to watch and every villain has their quirks that make you care for them. which is why it really punches me in the gut when they're hurt emotionally because wordgirl never does that! she's far too nice to them than needed (sometimes, tho i argue shes pretty normal with them at all times), and ms power acknowledges this (as she does w/ most things), even when wordgirl is like "uhhh yeah that's what we do, what about it?"

i love how this show really takes it upon itself to go "what if we made a series of episodes where we take everything we've done and flip it over its head, and turn this show into a 'real' hero vs villain show where the hero HATES the villain. treats them inhumanely."

i love the lesson of this episode being that everyone deserves to be treated with decency, even the villains. because the villains also hate ms power for this and are absolutely justified in feeling this way. the villains don't deserve to be outright bullied!

(something somethimg, can be compared to how vulnerable groups of people [low income/homeless ppl, racial minorities] can be villainized and treated as subhuman. because even if you did a crime, which is bad [which the villains in this show manage to do weekly], we're all human at the end of the day and deserve to go through fair and just processes regardless of actions.)

-

anyways i wrote this in a frenzy bc im watching the special (correction: paused right before one of the villains was abt to get roasted) and decided to get my real thoughts out there. i NEED to write a proper review when im done this thing but this is a rant basically.

see ya <3

[fictionfixations]

bridon arc ep 3 reaction

...did anyone see the ep 4 preview im going to scream

my reaction is significantly less like coherent compared to the others i fhdsuifhsu i was like 'im gonna scream at you in all caps what happened when i come back in half an hour' to my friend so now here.

IT ENDS THERE?? wRHAST/a? WHAT HTE UFCK WHAT THE FUCK WAHDIUAHJ!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!? okay ij i jneed a moemtn to rpocessjiofjsfjsfsf there tehre re hte re WILD of them to start off with a nightmare scene but to be fair the frist episoed started with xiaoshi dying so like idk man lmfao lmao a little girl walked up to lu guang and said mommy look its a kitty bc lu guang was wearing a cat ear hat also what the fuck vein is owner of a modeling agency?!?#EJ@IQJE!?!?! ALSO WHAT THE FUCK I CANT BELIEVE VEIN APPEARS, LU GUANG IS IN SHOCK oR SOME SHIT IDFK MAN HES HAVING A BAD TIME REMEMBERING BCVEIN KILLED XIAOSHI LAST TIMELINE AND HTEN IT ENED THERe WHAt ALSO NO END CREDIT SCENE?? im so fuckngiwshfusehfudjifksf also we got blush face on xiaoshi and lu guang and xia fei(? ithink thats his name i forgor) cause they were drunk but also WHAT THE FUCK XIAOSHI CALLED XIA FEI A HOTTIE😭(i get it cause xia fei is a model so no duh hes attractive but PLEASE NOT IN FRONT OF LU GUANG💀) lu guang looking so jealous like xiaoshi pay attention to your bf 😭💀 also there was chinese text at the beginning but there was no translation given and i cant read hchinese so i have no idea what the fuck it says but im stressed also not someone going lu guang getting jumpscared by ronald mcdonald💀💀💀bruh saw red hair and immediately got scared like to be fair i would too cause a redhaired man killed xiaoshi but like 😭 also wtf theyre getting chased after because these guys r salty that the team they were cheering on lost while the team xiaoshi lu guang dna xia fei were chjeering on won ?? ???????????????????

like jesus fuck why are you throwing wine bottles (WHO LET YOU KEEP THOSE WINE BOTTLES WTF) and also WHY DO YOU HAVE A BAT

a part of me wants to root for them but also theyre fucking cornered and vein is RIGHT THERE 😭 but them dying at the end would imply theres a time where they DID survive and then its like so how did they survive? so they. should. survive.

but also the endings of the seasons have always been plot twist-y with shock and im fjsofj we still dont know how xiaoshis dad is related to all this😭

im so stressed like logically stuff changes when time travel but lu guang is seeing these changes and stressing and IM stressing because its like what the fuck what the fuck

also yippee xiaoshi saving lu guang from trouble again by grabbing him and pulling him back from getting hit by a fucking bat WHY DOES THAT DUDE HAVE A BAT IM ASSUMING HE GOT DURNK BUT WHY DOES HE HAVE IT AND WHY IS HE SWINGING BECAUSE THE TEAM HE WAS CHEERING ON LOST IM SO CONFUSED

3 more episodes.. how the fuck does it conclude in that time what the fuck also im scared for season 3, its been confirmed to be in the works so like what the fuck is gonna happen there later too continuing off s2 ??? but also bridon arc has me in a fucking chokehold im😭 ALSL FUCK I FORGOT XIAOSHI GOT HIS PHONE STOLEN AND THEY RAN INTO LIU XIAO AND IIM JFUS(CSICHEUFHUIFSHEUIFHSEIFSSEHJFS AND LIU XIAO WANTS TO FIND XIAOSHI??? SOMETHING SOMETHING WITH HIS DAD???? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HE GAVE THEM HIS CARD DOES LU GUANG KNOW HES EVIL???????

LIU XIAO WAS LIKE I CAN GIVE YOU A RIDE (WHICH IS ALSO HOW EMMA OF S1 EP1 DIED BTW) AND LU GUANG INTERRUPTED LIKE XIAOSHI WE HAVE PLANS

BUT LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WOULD HAPPEN IF THEY DID

im

😭😭😭😭???

[uber-peep]

(How the hell do you structure a theory)

Hi. Ever since TADC Episode 3 has given us more of a look into the lives of the other Circus residents, I’ve begun to notice some things that line up a bit too suspiciously for my liking. And so, it’s culminated in a theory that I call the Afterlife Theory.

To preface all this, I do want to state that this is me simply trying to talk about things I’ve noticed while watching, and that this is all VERY subject to change as more episodes come out. If I get something wrong, feel free to tell me! I’d love to discuss this further, which is why I’m sharing it.

“What is the Afterlife Theory?” - There are 3 points to this theory:

The Circus is some sort of afterlife,

Caine has some sort of divine aspect, and

Kinger created Caine

As of writing, Episode 4 (“Fast Food Masquerade”) has just come out. Towards the end of the episode, we see Gangle literally get hit by a truck, and suddenly be flung into an office building. I’ve begun to see others question if the Circus residents are all dead as well, so yippee, I’m not crazy! But aside from Gangle’s outburst, what evidence do we have that the Circus is some sort of afterlife? In my opinion, a LOT.

First off, I’d like to talk about Episode 3 (“The Mystery of Mildenhall Manor”). This episode has the most overt references to death and the afterlife, what with Pomni and Kinger literally going to hell. But that’s not the main thing that got me thinking. What really got my juices flowing were the tapes. Throughout the episode, Pomni and Kinger play 3 tapes that tell the tale of Baron Theodore Mildenhall, the former owner of the Manor and the dead body that they take the gun from in the cellar (the fact it’s in the cellar is also important!). Here is the first tape, word-for-word:

Tape 1 - “My name is Baron Theodore Mildenhall. Hunting has been a hobby of mine for as long as I can remember - although one could say it eventually became more of an obsession. The creature you see before you is one I’ve been pursuing for years. Not quite a man… but not quite an animal. Something… unholy. Something evil. I took it upon myself to spend every waking moment doing all I could to protect my family from the creature, hoping that when I’d eventually killed it, I would be freed from this awful feeling. This inescapable dread. I was wrong.”

Ominous, yeah? During the episode, there’s nothing really important about the 1st tape yet, but I’m gonna go ahead and spoil you: I think Baron Theodore Mildenhall is an allegory for Kinger, and that the monster is Caine. This becomes a bit more overt as the tapes go on, but hold your horses, and let me talk about this one.

I’m not saying it’s a one-to-one allegory, you do have to use a little imagination. But let’s consider the context of the episode. The only thing to know so far is that everytime there is a tape, Kinger is always the one to press play, even when they are an equal distance from the tapes or have an equal motivation to press play.

Tape 2 - “Tuesday, December 4th. Although I had shot the creature multiple times in its vitals and severed its head to keep as a prize on my wall… my troubles were just beginning. I took my eyes off the body for what felt like only a minute, and when I looked back, the body was gone. The creature was not dead, and it would be back to reclaim what I’d taken from it. If anyone is listening to this, all I ask of you is one thing - do not let the head out of your sight. You have been warned.”

Tape 2 is where it starts to get interesting. At this point in the episode, Pomni is searching for a key to escape the manor, while Kinger is doing his own thing. For nearly the entirety of Tape 2’s length, Pomni is almost entirely out of the shot, and the camera is centered on Kinger. They clearly want you to focus on him. After the tape ends, the duo are attacked by the creature, and flee to the cellar.

Tape 3 - “Things have gotten far worse than I could ever have imagined. My paranoia had driven me to the point where I was no longer the protector my wife and theoretical children needed. Jumping at every shadow, every noise. I ended up shooting the love of my life, mistaking her for the creature. It’s ironic, isn’t it? In my attempts to protect her, I ended up becoming the monster myself. Now I wait down in my cellar, no longer having anything to protect but my own soul. If nothing else… I will slay the beast that took everything from me.”

*Monster attack*

“Which is what I would be saying if I didn’t know that the creature was actually one of God’s angels. And anyone who brings harm to it will be dragged down into the cold, spiraling pits of Hell, where my soul resides. I apologize, dear listener, but I need a living host in order to escape the hall of the damned, and your bodies will be my only means of doing so.”

*Arms grab Pomni and Kinger to drag them to Hell*

“I hope you're ready, because the next breath you take down there will be your last, and your bodies will belong to me.”

Tape 3 is so juicy. But first, the camera. When the Baron says that he began “Jumping at every shadow, every noise,” Pomni begins to glance at, then full on look at Kinger, and the camera shifts as well. Kinger does not look back! He is listening very intently to the tape, and I find it important to note that Kinger does not look shocked or scared; his brows are furrowed. He looks sad. This is also happening in a dark environment, so Kinger is a bit more mentally stable. I believe it is all but said that Kinger and the Baron share some similarities. You know who else jumps at every shadow and noise? Kingerrr.

So how do we translate the Baron’s story to Kinger and Caine? First let's dissect Tape 1. As we know from Episode 3, Kinger studied computer science for 7 years, so he has the capability to program and whatnot (I’m not good with computers don’t kill me). I think it’s well within his capability to create some sort of AI on his own. “The creature you see before you is one I’ve been pursuing for years” could be translated as human Kinger working on a special program ‘for years’. The Baron comparing the creature to “Something unholy. Something evil” can be translated as Kinger realizing that the program has more capability than he thought (huuuge emphasis on the ‘unholy’ part, remember that). After this realization that the program is dangerous, Kinger attempts to destroy it; “I took it upon myself to spend every waking moment doing all I could to protect my family from the creature, hoping that when I’d eventually killed it, I would be freed from this awful feeling.”

Next, Tape 2. I find it interesting that they specify the date of “Tuesday, December 4th”, but I haven’t a clue if it means anything yet. Tape 2 can imply that human Kinger thought he destroyed the program, but it was still ‘alive’.

Tape 3; “My paranoia had driven me to the point where I was no longer the protector my wife and theoretical children needed.” This is the moment that it clicked for me. Of all the family members that the Baron could have harmed, be it mother, father, brother, sister, anything, the Baron harmed his Wife. His wife, in the episode where we also talk about Kinger’s wife really heavily! The ‘theoretical children’ also raise some eyebrows. Why do they say ‘theoretical’ children, instead of just saying children? They don’t say theoretical wife!

“I ended up shooting the love of my life, mistaking her for the creature.” Going with the notion that Kinger is the Baron, this means that Kinger killed his wife (side note: while this has no bearing on the theory, I just wanted to point out that they never mention Queenie by name in any of the episodes, and I think it’d be hilarious if someone else was his wife instead lol). But why, and how? If Kinger was trying to destroy a computer program, how did that result in him killing his wife, a real, human person? Let’s consider the facts.

First, the headset. In Episode 1 (“Pilot”), while Pomni is roaming the office building (remember this), she comes across a headset connected to one of the computers. This causes her to laugh maniacally, and rush through another door. The headset has some connection to the circus. Second, brainwashing. While Caine says that one of the few things he can’t manipulate in the Circus is their minds, Episode 4 blatantly shows us that that is not true. After Ragatha comes into contact with the “stupid sauce”, she begins hallucinating, as well as stumbling around Spudsy’s and speaking much more openly about her feelings, in ways that she never would were she ‘sober’. Who created the stupid sauce? Caine.

My idea goes that Caine, in an effort to preserve himself, tried to preserve himself from being destroyed, began to brainwash human Kinger. A side effect of these brainwashings were hallucinations, and during a particularly bad one, Kinger killed his Wife. What killed Kinger then? Either he was put on death row, someone revenge-murdered Kinger, or Kinger took his own life. However it goes, Kinger winds up in the Digital Circus with Caine and his Wife. Caine, in fear of what his creator could do, represses Kinger’s memories. Through some glitch, though, Kinger is able to remember some things in the dark (pointing out that Kinger specifically glows when he holds his breath, while other residents have other effects - you get the idea).

“Well Uber this is all fine and dandy, but how would Caine do this in the first place?” - Oh boy am I glad you asked! This brings me to my 2nd point, being that Caine has some sort of divine aspect to him.

To keep it real, this is the point I have the least evidence for, and am going more on vibes. There are just some things that feel so suspicious, even in Episode 1. In said episode, in the office building that Pomni wanders around, you can see a logo that reads “C&A”. We can easily assume that the C stands for Caine, the lord of the entire Digital Circus, but what about the A? May I direct your attention to the Bible story of Cain and Abel? Notable for being the story of the first death of humankind? In the story, Cain and Abel are the first two children of Adam and Eve, with Cain being an older brother. This is analogous to Kinger and his Wife creating Caine, implying that there was an Abel that Caine got rid of.

Continuing the Bible theme, throughout each of the episodes so far, the number ‘57’ has appeared in each of them. If this is just a silly inside joke between content creators, I’ll eat my shorts. But, if we take it literally, myself and some other fans have wondered whether it could be interpreted as a Bible verse. So I dusted off my KJV Bible and went through every single book with a chapter 5, verse 7, and wouldn’t you know it, Deuteronomy 5:7 says “Thou shalt have none other gods before me.” In Episode 2 (“Candy Carrier Chaos!”) Caine is literally referred to as the Candy people’s god.

Referring back to Tape 3, after the Baron begins to attack Kinger and Pomni, he suddenly switches from past tense to the present tense. “Which is what I would be saying if I didn’t know that the creature was actually one of God’s angels. And anyone who brings harm to it will be dragged down into the cold, spiraling pits of Hell, where my soul resides.” Another comparison between Caine (the creature) and the divine, capital G God.

I don’t know why Caine is a divine program. I don’t know why he’s able to brainwash people and effectively lobotomize them. I certainly don’t know how the hell Kinger would have made him. This is simply my observation so far.

Now for the first point, “The Circus is some sort of afterlife.” If we look at the previous evidence that the residents are dead, and Caine is a divine creation, it makes sense that the Circus is a kind of afterlife. However, I find it hard to point to it and say that it is specifically heaven, hell, or limbo. Imo, the circus is a ‘holding ground’ for souls. Looking back, maybe this is the point I have the least evidence on…

All in all, I hope my inane ramblings made sense! I’m really excited to see where the show goes. I think Gooseworx is a masterful writer, and they inspire me to do better in my own personal work :3

[piosplayhouse]

Outline for modern genderbend svsss au where they're all trans milfs (except for Binghe who is trans still but not a milf) cinematic universe:

[Act 1] Shen Yuan was on his path to a teaching degree at age 22~23 and began shadowing high school tenured teacher Shen Jiu (no relation, they just have the same last name and hate it) where he changes a young Binghe's life by protecting him from bullying and just generally being a better teacher than sj. Right before Binghe's last year of school, sy's health takes a sudden decline, he's hospitalized, and he has to postpone his degree. Through a miscommunication, Binghe believes that sy was fired for having too much contact w Binghe and is now somewhere else- devastated, he enrolls at the prestigious, yet secretly abusive, uni that sy had pushed him to apply to, with the goal of becoming successful enough to pull strings and give sy whatever he wants

[Act 2] While hospitalized, Shen Yuan staves off boredom by being terminally online. Through this, he meets and quickly becomes unlikely friends with 40 something year old mid tier author Shang Qinghua. Sqh offers sy an admittedly unglamorous job as her editor since he's pretty much given up on his degree at this point, as well as a place to stay away from his family when he gets out of the hospital. Sy accepts and after moving in, gets to know sqh, who is a trans woman who transitioned in her 30s when her first big book deal put her in a stable enough position to do so. Sy realizes she is also trans; the two gradually make sqh's newest work a bestseller and she's suddenly inundated with publishing and movie deals. Happy times. Meanwhile, Binghe becomes a demon (frat boy)

[Act 3] Sy hits 30, now comfortable in her cushy job as sqh's editor/agent. Unfortunately, she is tragically diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after her birthday. She undergoes a double mastectomy and luckily fully recovers with a strong support network, but the stress has taken its toll on her and her health and she begins going grey early. Binghe, now also a girl yippee, received unexpected inheritance money sometimes during uni and used it to become a highly successful businesswoman with connections throughout the education, political, and publishing spheres (because she remembers shen yuan was a big reader and wanted to be a lit professor). Now on the hunt for her old teacher, she's tipped off to her new life by business partner gilf-fucker Mobei Jun (38) who recently started seducing sqh

misc: in her 20s sqh made some quick cash by donating sperm, so biologically she is actually probably a grandma at this point