#& don’t like the idea of Henry pining forever

[scoffingatgravity]

As a fellow Henry Gowen fan, have you seen the new season? And if so, what are your thoughts on the few Bill and Henry interactions?

@renfielddearisback

I have, indeed! I’m assuming you have based on characterizing the interactions as “few.” While I’ll have to rewatch S11 to refresh my mind on specifics, I do recall enjoying the scenes Henry and Bill shared. Sure, he wasn’t one of the people to greet Henry when he returned from his trip (I remember that much), but I liked how Henry was Bill’s first choice (outside Nathan, a Mountie) to team up with when it came to finding out the identity of Lucas’s shooter. Henry was trying to have a quiet life (unsuccessful thanks to Lucas), so he didn’t take him up on it, but we later got to see them work together to try protecting Lucas/handle the fallout of things. The last episode in particular had them nearly attached at the hip - sitting together in the same booth and then the same pew at the wedding. Unless next season introduces a new (or old) character for either as a love interest (one I like), I think Henry/Bill might become my preferred ship for both. They have quite a bit in common, and the history between them is so rich.

[kiwiana-writes]

▵ For With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest).

Love your work, thank you for all you do.🥰🫂

GOSH that's lovely, thank you!

▵ pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite line for With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest)?

ONE favourite line??? IN 65,000 words?????? No way, you're getting a few. One outside the cut, the rest under it!

“Out of curiosity, do you talk to all your clients like you’re a film noir detective and I’m the leggy blonde asking for your services? Or is that just for me?” The very first line I wrote, sent to @ships-to-sail in DM at 3am because we'd just started talking about the idea for this fic and I was in bed and hadn't created a Google doc yet. I went and found it, because I'm not kidding about the time OR how little it changed between this and publishing:

He mulls over that one for a minute, wondering what it would be like—to be bi in a time when Google wasn’t at your fingertips to help you figure it out; to have people speculating on your sexuality four centuries later. It feels… weird. Invasive. Something. BECAUSE YOU ARE ALSO BISEXUAL, MY LOVE.

“I am not seething,” Alex seethes. Speaks for itself, honestly. One of my absolute favourite literary devices to use.

Another message, right underneath the picture: do you think when i tell you while you’re in disguise ‘i am sure he is in the fleet: i would he had boarded me’ i’m lowkey talking about wanting you to rail me? because i could play it that way Henry places the phone down gently on the mattress, picks up a pillow from the other side of the bed, puts it over his face, and screams into it. This joke went through so many iterations, both of the line from the play Alex was referencing as well as originally it was "Betrius is lowkey wanting Benedick to" and making it more personal really ramped up the torture towards Henry hahaha.

“So Betrius isn’t saying ‘if only I were a man’, because he is. He’s saying ‘if only y’all saw me as a man, gave me the respect of a man, but you don’t, because I’m not out picking up chicks on whatever the sixteenth-century equivalent of Tinder is’. Right?” This entire conversation, actually, but this line in particular. As much as I had to skim over some of the practicalities of flipping Beatrice's gender in Much Ado, it was important to me that doing so was more than a one-and-done plot device to enable Alex and Henry to play these roles.

He thinks maybe he’s always going to be a little different now that he knows what it’s like to be touched like this, by someone like Henry, who cares just as much about the putting back together as he does about the taking apart. One thing I think CMQ does an amazing job of in the novel is just how fucking clear it is that Alex is ALL IN in love well before he's realised it, and I was trying to capture a little bit of that with this.

“I think maybe I’ve done it again? Pushed myself into a space so small, and cramped, and hidden away, I don’t know how to find my way back out.” This isn't a version of Henry with his canonical reasons for staying closeted, but nor did I want him to be someone with a lot of self-loathing around being gay, because the lack of that in canonical Henry is such a breath of fresh air. I wasn't sure about how well I'd gotten that across with this line (and the whole bit that preceded it) but I had a few people reach out to tell me just how true this rang for them, which, ❤️

“There is nothing,” Alex says quietly, “on this planet that could make me stop loving you. I swear to god, H, you’ve… fundamentally fucking changed me. If you tell me to go again, I’ll go. We’ll pine at each other in the wings for the next six weeks and then I’ll fuck off back to America and we’ll both be miserable forever, probably doing some maudlin shit like only taking roles in the tragedies so we can channel our pain or whatever, but I’ll still be in love with you. You’ll be the one that got away for the rest of my life, you obtuse fucking asshole—” Reworking/retreading canon without just copying and pasting huge swaths of the book is such a difficult line to walk and I was particularly proud of this part of doing that.

It is, in the end, the easiest decision he’s ever made. :) :) :) :) :)

[fic ask game]

[flowerfan2]

Read the coda to 8.03 on A03 here, or from the beginning here.

A continuous story of season 3 episode codas which creates one unified story - the Ted/Trent interactions we don’t see...

Chapter 8

Ted watches the cab with Michelle and Henry in it pull away from the curb and drive off down the street.   He’s pretty sure Michelle sussed out what he was trying to do as she left, when he wouldn’t let go of Henry’s backpack, but it still hadn’t worked – he wasn’t able to tell for sure whether she was wearing a ring or not.  He doesn’t think so.

He doesn’t think, frankly, that Michelle and Jake are necessarily going to make it as a couple, not if Jake gets annoyed when he and Michelle chat like old times.  It seems like Jake should understand that’s how they connect – he does have the benefit of all those counseling sessions when he was theoretically helping them work on their marriage – and yet he seemed annoyed at their easy banter.  Of course, banter alone doesn’t make a healthy relationship, as Michelle so often reminded him.

Ted doesn’t know why he can’t let go of all this.  He’s not the first person to get divorced, the world is full of them.  Hell, Trent is divorced, and Rebecca.  Pretty much everyone he spends his time with is either single or in a dysfunctional relationship of one kind or another.

He should really listen to what Rebecca said.  Stop letting yesterday get in the way of today.  There’s a handsome man out there that is waiting for him to make up his mind, and as patient as Trent is, he might not wait forever.  So what, exactly, is holding him back?

He allows himself a good long sigh, straightens his back, and calls Trent.

*****

Trent should be surprised to see Ted’s name pop up on his phone, but he’s not.  He knows Michelle and Henry are heading back to the U.S. tonight, and he has prepared himself for another long, agonizing talk where he consoles Ted about his feelings for someone who isn’t Trent.  

Trent had thought Ted was finally coming to terms with it all.  Last week at the pub Ted had sat close and looked at him fondly, given Trent hope that maybe they were on their way back to being together.  But then Michelle and Henry came to visit and that hateful, unethical excuse for a therapist whisked her away to Paris, and Ted was spiraling about his ex once more.

Trent has already heard all about the fun Ted, Beard and Henry had together, including their great Beatles sing-along.  It stings that now Beard hangs out with Ted and Henry, when over the summer it had been Trent and Darla showing Ted and Henry all their favorite places in London.  But that was when Ted wanted to be with Trent, and now he’s still not sure.  Or at least, not sure enough.

Trent answers his phone.  Just because he wants something doesn’t mean he’s going to get it, and no amount of self-pity is going to keep him from being there for Ted when he needs it.

“Hello?”

“How you holdin’ up, buttercup?”

Trent frowns.  “I rather thought I’d be asking you that.”

“Nah, I’m good.”  A pause.  “Really good, actually.”  Ted’s voice has dropped a register, and Trent feels his breath catch.  “Wonderin’ if you were free tonight?”

An hour later Ted and Trent are curled up together on Trent’s couch, jazz playing softly in the background, mostly empty tumblers of whiskey on the coffee table.  Ted is lying on his side, pressed against Trent’s chest, and playing with his hair as they make out like horny but somewhat lazy teenagers.

Ted’s hand starts to wander south, and Trent, despite himself or maybe in a delayed burst of good sense, stops his progress by taking his hand in his.

“Ted.”

Ted noses at Trent’s jaw.  “That’s my name, don’t wear it out.  What’s up, sugar?”

“Maybe this isn’t a good idea.”

Ted freezes.  “Oh.”  It’s only one syllable, but the hurt comes through.

“It’s not that I don’t want to-”

“Then what is it, exactly?”  Ted sits up, awkwardly disentangling them and shoving himself to the other end of the couch.  “All this time, I thought you were pining for me, was I wrong about that?  Did I somehow misread your intentions, Mr. Crimm?”

“There’s no need to get angry, Ted-”

“Don’t you tell me how to feel.”  Ted gets up, stumbling as he straightens his clothes.  “I thought you wanted this.”

“I do want this,” Trent says, keeping his voice calm.  He rises and puts his hands on Ted’s shoulders, stilling his anxious sway.  “I want you.”  

Ted is blinking furiously, but the message gets through.  “You do, right?  I’m not – I’m not too late?”

“No, sweetheart, you’re not too late.”  Trent puts his arms around Ted and pulls him close, cradling Ted’s head against his own.  “I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it – I want you.”

“I want you too,” Ted mumbles, tucking his face against Trent’s neck.  

They stand there like that for a long moment, Trent rubbing circles on Ted’s back while Ted finds his equilibrium.

“Thank you,” Ted says finally, pulling away enough to meet Trent’s gaze.  

“For what?”

Ted brushes his fingers through his hair, already mussed from their make-out session.  “For making us slow down.  For knowing…”. Ted looks away, scrubs a hand over his face and shakes his head.  “For knowing that it isn’t a good idea to do” he waves a hand around “too much, just yet.”  He looks up at Trent, vulnerable and open.  “But, soon, maybe?”

“I’d like that,” Trent says, and presses a chaste kiss to Ted’s lips.  It’s sweeter than any kiss they’ve shared so far tonight.  “I’d like that very much.”

[natequarter]

A X S Q R P :)

A: Your current OTP.

humphrey/sophie 💞 i just really love them

P: Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

this is not At All random (i have been thinking on it for far too long), but - the edge chronicles + bbc ghosts, anyone? the vaguer details include: the captain grew up wanting to be a sky pirate, but stone sickness destroyed those dreams, and so he ended up naming himself the captain because he would never get the chance to have a true sky pirate name, and joined the freeglade lancers in the end; kitty put down a plot by her sister to turn phrax machines into destructive weapons; thomas ran away from the eastern woods and was hunted across the edge by his cousin, who had contacts all over the edge, until he finally reached safety in riverrise. the more specific subplot is that humphrey (a true first age of flight sky pirate) is a very dashing and mostly competent sky pirate, with an earth librarian stowaway on his ship. he thinks nothing of sophie until she holds a knife to his throat and threatens to slit it if he doesn't turn around the ship. they crash in the twilight woods, and have no choice but to bond (it's that or go insane forever). they escape, but neither of them are ever the same afterwards, and end up hiding away in undertown so that the plot sophie tried to enact to bring down sanctaphrax's sky scholars doesn't get them both killed

Q: A ship you’ve abandoned and why.

maiko. not into atla anymore.

R: A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships.

there's always someone out there with the same obscure pairing, but probably pat/humphrey/sophie. this isn't concrete idea i have so much as it is my vision of a modern au where pat, aware that humphrey's lonely (and pining), sets him up with sophie, stupidly failing to realise that it's him humphrey is pining over. and also sophie, once they've met. it all works out in the end, though. alternatively: it's the unwritten sequel to my pat-centric modern au where humphrey invites pat over to stay with him for a bit, and then both he and sophie (who are married) seduce pat. pat has two hands and both of them are depressed

S: What’s a headcanon you have?

various inhabitants of button house kept diaries, and for the most part those diaries ended up in button house's library. the library was one of thomas's favourite parts of the house in life (his other favourite part was isabelle, and that's... it, that's all he liked about it), and he used to flick through those records of the past and wonder what those people were like. the answer? fucking annoying, that's what

X: 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms.

henry/becket (from becket (1964), obviously, not from real life), the doctor/romana (doctor who), and linius pallitax/wind jackal (the edge chronicles)

(link)

[vanillann]

the third rule debacle (emily prentiss x fem!reader)

a/n: this request spark something in me. also my wlw are always so soft omg it’s so cute 

word count: 1.9k

warning: swearing and sexual innuendos

emily prentiss masterlist

Emily Prentiss had three rules that she followed in her life, she normally didn’t like these types of rules but these three were important.

Rule one was never to let her mother know too much. She learned that the hard way after she told her mother about this boy she liked or thought she liked, and she invited his entire family to dinner to talk about it.

Rule two was never let Penelope say she’d be DD for a night out. She never actually stayed sober, she loved pretty drinks with umbrellas in them, and Emily didn’t mind being sober most nights.

Rule three was don’t ever date a coworker, which is something Emily was known for at FBI Headquarters. She just thought it made things messy and complex for no good reasons, close friends were great but anything more was a bad idea.

Until they got a new teammate from the CIA, who asked to work closely with fewer international crimes, who sat across from Emily with a sticky sweet smile that made Emily have a sweet tooth.

She hated rule three so much it was giving her stomach aches because she sat there like a goddess and Emily wondered why she even made this rule anyways. She was starting to look dumb every time she’d wink from the other side of the bullpen at her or when she told Morgan he “wasn’t her type” then turned to look at her.

“Come on Em, you’d look so hot together!” Pen moved her glass on the table, her word somewhat slurred and Emily was confused about how she was already wasted.

“I think I’m on Pen's side this time,” JJ tilted her head to Pen but never lost eye contact with Em. JJ was getting annoyed at the pinning, so annoyed she started ranting to Henry about it.

“I don’t date coworkers,” Emily played with the glass of water in front of her, playing with the droplets as they fell down to distract her from her own problem. Could it be easily solved? Yes. Would it be? Probably not.

“But what if she is your exception,” JJ spoke sincerely, so sincerely it scared Emily shitless.

Pen slammed her fist into the table, her mouth wide open as she sang “you are my only exception” and Emily recognized the song quickly. It was Hayley Williams for crying out loud.

“Who’s an exception?” Em looked over her shoulder at an overly confident Morgan and normally she would have loved to see him but it made her feel worse. Morgan was supposed to pick up (Y/N) which meant she was now here and Emily would be left pining for her all night.

“(Y/N),” JJ spoke softly, looking around Morgan to try and find the girl in question.

“She’s getting a drink over there.”

Emily looked to where Morgan’s finger pointed, smiling lightly when she spotted the girl leaned against the bar with a little smile on her face. Even under the rough bar lights over her head, she looked like something you’d rip from the magazine just to tap it to your wall.

She looked like everything Emily wanted in someone, minus working together.

“Just drop the silly rule,” Morgan dramatically rolled his eyes, watching Emily come back down to Earth.

“It’s not a silly rule, it’s serious!” Emily looked between her friends, hoping at least one would back her up but she was left empty-handed. She knew they were right, it wasn’t that serious but it felt serious. What if it ended in flames?

She already came to the team late, would they kick her off over this? Yeah, okay, maybe she was overthinking it but to Emily, this was the biggest reason she didn’t date coworkers.

“Ladies!”

(Y/N) came around the corner like a fast-moving bullet, her arms wrapping around JJ’s shoulder in a hurry. Her excitement bounced off her to Emily quickly, like it always did.

“(Y/N)! We were just talking about you!” Pen reached for the former CIA agent, her hand flying over her mouth as sound as she realized what she said.

“Glad to know I’m a topic of conversation,” she smiled slightly at Pen, squeezing her hand before she spun and spotted Emily watching her. A smile was quick grace on both of their lips, which just made the rest of the team's points made.

“How could we not talk about you,” Emily did her best for the comment not to come off too flirty but by JJ’s smirk she failed miserably.

“Well I hope it’s dirty like my martini,” the girl winked, smiling when the taller dude from the bar brought the drink over with a smile to the girl's energy. Emily shook her head and smiled to herself.

How couldn’t you adore that?

“So, is Spencer coming or-” she trailed off, looking to her other teammates to find her answers about the sweeter boy.

“He’s flying out to see his mom tonight,” Morgan nodded, his smile flatter slightly but he bounced back quickly.

“Man, I was hoping he’d be here so I could see him dance!”

The conversation was easy there like it always had been. (Y/N) was a great fit for the team, had everyone wrapped under her finger in seconds without trying. Emily knew she had imprinted the team forever, she had imprinted her forever.

“(Y/N), look at this baby panda!” Garcia reached across JJ, her pink blinged phone glittered under the lights of the bar. Without much thought, Pen pushed her phone father until her knuckles pushed the martini from the hardwood table into (Y/N) lap.

Her face was one of shock, looking down at her lap as the liquor pooled in her lap. Then a little smile painted across her cheeks and suddenly she was laughing, like throw your head back and make the room stop laughing.

“Better not let my PO find me,” she joked, smiling when JJ took the few napkins from the table and tried to clean up the little mess that was made. Pen continued to apologize, her eyes welling up with tears before (Y/N) reached for her hand.

“Pen, it was just an old Green Day shirt. Don’t worry sweets, as long as it wasn’t the Chemical Romance we’re clear,” she smiled at Pen, which made the blonde release drunk giggles.

“I’m gonna go clean up,” she waved off the table, taking a few of the napkins JJ had with her as she pushed back everyone until she found where she was looked for. Emily watched her back until she could no more, her eyes suddenly trained on the door.

“Go talk to her, I’m begging you,” JJ reached across the table, her hands clapped together with pleading eyes.

“Rules were made to be broken Em,” Morgan shrugged, his body already moving so Emily could slide out the small wooden booth.

“Says the FBI agent,” Emily smirked and Morgan slid out the booth anyways. She knew they were right, it was clear as day she needed to confess something. She knew (Y/N) felt somewhat the same, she at least hoped.

Her boots were moving over the sticky floor of the bar before she registered that she left the table. Her mind followed the same route (Y/N) did seconds ago. An older man reached out to catch her attention but she walked right around him. No soul could get in the way of her right now, because she finally was ready to break rule three.

Fuck rule three, rule three was made for the scared girl who didn’t know what she felt like, but she was going to find out.

Her hand lightly pushed open the door to the bathroom, smiling when she spotted her standing in front of the mirror with the paper towels in her hand. She looked up from her shirt, smiling at Emily in the mirror than looking back at the mess.

“Gotta piss?”

“Oh god no,” Emily let out a little laugh, she didn’t say anything funny but she knew she couldn’t stay serious if this was going to go her way.

“Good, I wasn’t giving my bathroom,” she smiled under her breath, something Emily never found that attractive before she did it.

Emily finally walked into the bathroom, letting the door lightly shut behind her. She realized how harsh the red tank top as a leather jacket was against the white tiled of the bathroom, but standing next to the girl, woman, in the Green Day tee with a stain down the front and the most acidic washed jeans she’d seen, she felt right where she belonged.

“Can we talk?”

“Of course Em,” she spoke without looking up, her hand moving to the tap to turn on the water.

“Are you free Sunday?”

Her hand stopped on the cold water knob, her eyes slowly moving from the tee to her own eyes. She couldn’t believe she had said it that smoothly too. She didn’t stutter or try to fight it. She didn’t wanna fight now she felt anymore.

“Why?”

“I was thinking dinner,” Emily leaned on the wall beside the sink, her finger coming up to her mouth as she bit her fingernails, cursing Spencer for bringing it up as her nervous habit, now she can’t stop.

“Like date dinner?”

“Hopefully.”

Emily gave her best smile, hoping that would make her more inclined to say yes, although she was hoping she liked her more to just say it to start with.

“I thought you didn’t date coworkers,” (Y/N) turned so her side was leaning against the sink, her body now facing Emily’s right on. That just made her more intimidated.

Emily didn’t really know what to say at first. Does she give her the long version about how she thinks they’d be good? Does she just tell her things have changed? As her brain wrapped around something to say, her brain went back to Pen singing the Paramore song and she couldn’t stop the smile that split her face in two.

“You’re my exception,” Emily spoke the words casually, shrugging as if she didn’t think over her words over words forever.

But it was worth it as (Y/N) smiled, pushing off the sink and reaching out from Emily. Her hand curled at the back of her neck, her face pulling closer to her own as their lips collided. Emily could feel her lip gloss running off her own lips onto her own, and nothing made her smile more than knowing she had proof now.

She was kissing her and her lips were as soft as frosting and Emily was so thankful for her sweet tooth. She was her sugar high she’d never come down from. As their kiss became the ghost of one, the world filled back in. She remembered she was in a dingy bar bathroom while her liquor ran into her shirt more and more.

“I’m actually completely free this Sunday,” (Y/N) licked her lips, smiling to herself as she looked up at Emily with the most innocent look in her eye.

“Never pictured you tasting like strawberries.”

Emily smirked, leaning in for another because she needed a taste of what breaking rules felt like.

“You thought about how I’d taste.”

“Oh all the time,” she rolled her eyes and smirked but leaned in herself because while she was her sugar, Emily Prentiss was her spice and she wasn’t going to stop reminding them both.

Emily smiled a little harder as she exited the bathroom because she both ruled three for the girl she’d break the law for.

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[pleasereadmeok]

Matthew Scene by Scene - A Discovery of Witches Season 2 - Episode 9  #7 - Matt and Bess.

Spoilers if you haven’t seen ADOW season 2 episode 8 + book spoilers.  

At Water Lane, Cecil finds the Book of Life and declares that Matthew won’t be needing his books anymore - due to the lack of a head.  Meanwhile, Matthew returns to talk to Queenie.  

Everything depends on what he says and does now.  Matthew starts with a deferential bow.  He needs to show he is completely in Liz’s power now or it’s over for him.

Queenie doesn’t really looked shocked at his return, or angry for that matter.  She just looks sad.   

Matthew gives Liz a slight smile and she watches as he bites his finger to draw blood.

Eew!  But Liz doesn’t react in that way.  She looks on intently but it’s like she knows exactly what he is doing and that this is something she has seen before.  

Matthew’s actions are charged with something else.  It’s an intimate moment and it is telling us something deeper about the relationship of trust between these two.

Matthew extends his finger, complete with a drop of his precious healing blood, towards Liz with a little tilt of his head and a smile. 

Queenie grabs Matthew’s hand but she obviously knows he is trying to help her so she relents as his finger lands on her aching tooth.   

Again - EEW!   The relief from pain seems to be immediate. But will that be enough to put the Queen in a better mood?  Don’t think so.

Liz looks so sad and wistful when she says that Matthew’s blood could make her immortal.  Matthew patiently explains that making her a vamp and altering the course of history was not something he would do - as he told her father Henry VIII before her.  Interesting.  So maybe Liz has known Matthew all of her life.  In the books we learn that he was one of Henry’s trusted aides in a former life as Sebastian St Clair.  I always think that name conjures up an image of a lothario, a serial seducer of the women of the Court. I imagine Seb St Clair to be like Matthew Goode’s fantastic portrayal of the seducer George Wickham.  But that’s just me - and purely based on the name.  But if anyone wants to take that idea and write about it - I’ll read that!  

Anyway - back to the scene.   Matthew reckons a vamp queen on the English throne would lead to chaos but on the contrary Liz feels that her death would lead to chaos coz her enemies snap at her heels.  

What will happen when I am gone?! 

Matthew sees his chance.  He reassures Queenie about her future and how the Spanish and the witches need not concern her.  How can you possibly know your Queen’s future? 

Because I have seen it.

Matthew tells the truth about Diana and his presence in the 1590′s and guess what?  Liz believes him - in her heart she knows it is true. 

You are a future Matthew.  

Your true Shadow would not have disappointed you so. 

Liz gently places her hand on Matthew’s cheek.  It is an intimate gesture that we can guess has often happened before.  

Liz asks about her realm.  

It is secure. 

And Matthew plays his trump card and feeds Queenie’s vanity by assuring her of her glorious place in history.  

Right on cue the lighting flares to bathe Liz in a regal glow. 

Matthew obviously feels his work is done - you can almost hear the mic drop. 

As Matthew leaves, Queenie ends the audience with a wistful - Matt. Thank you. 

You’re welcome, Bess.

OMG - where do I start with this.  I LOVED this whole scene.  

In the book, the scene plays out with Diana in the room as well but I think it was a goode call to keep the scene as an intimate two hander.  Even if you haven’t read the books you can pick up how close these two have been in the past.  Bess has known Matt for years and he has been this unchanging, gorgeously handsome man in her life.    In the books Diana concludes almost straightaway that Liz is in love with Matthew and has been for a very long time. Their relationship had gone beyond mere ‘favourite’ and monarch.  They were close, very close.  How close?  Well for a young Princess, and then Queen, who could never risk her ‘virgin’ status being blown out of the water with an unplanned pregnancy, a vampy boyfriend would be pretty ideal wouldn’t it?  This is hinted at in the books. Maybe I imagined that - someone correct me if I’m wrong.  At the very least, it’s clear that Liz had a longtime crush on the handsome Seb. 

Elizabeth wants to live forever and is pining for her youth and former beauty when, perhaps, Matthew/Seb was the object of her affection.  Now, poor Queenie is old and her looks have gone but her former ‘lover’ [?] has the audacity to still look like a GOD and marry someone who is not her.   Also, you can see that it was not all one sided.  There is a gentleness in Matthew’s conversation with Bess in this second audience, like he is remembering the goode times as well.  

It was never gonna end well but it feels like they have reached an understanding.  In the books ( so far) we don’t find out if these two ever met again but if this was their last meeting - it was a goode end. 

All of the awards for these two for such a poignant and wonderfully played scene.  Matthew is a totally brilliant actor and he was perfect in this scene.  I’ve not seen much of Barbara Marten before coz she’s been in TV stuff like ‘Casualty’ [basically a hospital soap?] that we don’t watch but she was so goode in this role - maybe the best portrayal of Liz that I’ve seen.

I just want to end on the make up, coz Barbara Marten is a beautiful older women who I would LOVE to look like when I am 74 coz ..... look at her!

The ADOW make up department worked a bloody miracle.

[Pics - ADOW S2:09 edits/screenshots]

[quilna]

Hyde watching Lanyon ignoring Henry: well FUCK you too! Wish the fucking monster ate you, prick!

He’s just as mad at not getting attention as Jekyll is he just defaults to “righteous anger.”

Tbh, I don’t think he ignore him forever but just enough for him to lick his wounds and bury those feelings with a shovel and a lot of dirt that Jekyll noticed but Lanyon recovers slowly and pretends like he didn’t just do what he did which doesn’t help but like yeah. Also I do like the idea of real Henry hearing Lanyon got into some trouble and fucking booking it to see him and in that moment before the horror is a aloud to settle Robert is happy to see him, not whatever the fuck that was.

I love “mutual pining but they are both idiots who think it’s one-sided, mixed with complicated history” thing lankyll have going on…

These two poor miscommunicating idiots.

Ah for the inital happiness though. Robert initally being so glad to see Henry, normal and not some shapechanging monster. Then Henry gets a little too close, maybe tries to touch the injury where the creature hurt him, and Robert flinches back. And it's an understandable flinch for Henry, he was just attacked by a monster, he might be a little shaken up, but Lanyon is remembering how he trusted “Henry” to get close to him before, remembering the humiliation of falling for it, remembering how he promised himself not to so much of a trusting moron again.

So, he starts to withdraw from Henry.

All the while, Hyde is fuming and Jekyll is upset because they're starting to realize that his withdrawal doesn't seem to extend to other people like Rachel or the lodgers. It's just them.

Mutual pining is an excellent trope. I may be aro but the absolute dramatic irony and idiocy between both people is always fun to watch.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Della Arc Reviews: The Last Crash of the Sunchaser!

Hello all you happy people. I’ve been dreading this one.. not because it’s bad. Quite the oppisite. In fact on rewatch I was marveling at how brilliant this one was and remembering why it was on my best of list. But because the ending, as you all well know, is the most gutwrenching part of the entire series. Three seasons and lots of other heartrending moments.. and the ending of this episode from the big reveal to that final shot above tears you the fuck apart. It’s hard to watch even know it all works out in the end and that i’d be watching the conclusion the next day instead of having to wait a rather painful week like I did at first airing. It’s just that good. So join me under the cut for a review of one of the series finest half hours and some of David Tennant’s best work as we crash the Sunchaser one last time.. for this season... and i think Launchpad crashes it again in the finale so I don’t get that title. 

So our plot for the episode is that 

Yes Clan McDuck is taking their version of a vacation. It’s off to Monocrow for the E.X.C.E.S.S. Expo! Yes it’s the EXCESS Expo! With the latest in racecars lasers and many more! The EXCESS Expo! With booths from such welcome guests as Stark International, Muppet Labs, S.T.A.R. Labs, VenTech, The Franklin Sherman Memorial Fishmobabywhirlomgig Institute, TCRI, Gryzzl, Sumdac Systems, G-Heavy Industries, Tylerco, Lexcorp, Wayne Enterprises, Quickstart, The Gizmonic Institute, Alchemax,and Baintronics! But that’s not all! We also have huge paneeellls! Hank Pym’s “The ethics of dating your robot grandaughter”, Reed Richards “How to Dispatch an Evil Council made up entirely of yourself!”, Victor Von Dooms “CURSE YOU RICHARDS I’M SMARTER FOR I AM DOOM”, Stanford Pines with “How to Kill a Godlike Demon and Get your Smile Back”, Dr. Bunsen Hondedew with “How to abuse your assitant in 2020″ Dr.Light with “The Ethics of helping your robot child fight an evil albert einstein”, Profesor Henry Hidgens with “The incoming apocalypse with songs from Working Boys: A New Musical” Ray Palmer “Welcome To Pain”, and you know our friend Ass Dan will be in full effect> yeah bitch you know he’s going to live forev... what’s that? He’s dead. oh shame. Someone call rusty venture. Yes I know i’m typing this. Shut up. THE EXCESS EXPO. BE THERE OR WE’LL SEND OUR ROBOTS AFTER YOU. 

... Where.. Where was I? Oh yes, big vacation. Monocrow.. which sadly is not just a big field with just Crow T. Robot in it. Someday you’ll get MST3K/Ducktales Jake, someday. Point is our heroes are excited, and Scrooge is also there to find the Maltese MacGuffin, a mysterious artifact no one’s ever seen. And the kids and Scrooge have their own specail guest joining them: Bentina! Yeah turns out she has hundreds of vacation days built up, and simply hasn’t used them so she’s using a few to join them. It also once again shows how much less of a heartless money monster this Scrooge is as any of his employees asking for a vacation, paid or not, in the comics would result in this:

So their off on their greatest adventure.. with Louie having’ bought something mysterious along with him he’s only telling the other kids about. On with the intro!

Beakly.. is intstantly not at ease as they take off after driving their jeep into the plane. She feels launchpad is reckless, rightfully so not helped by a lack of seatbelts on the plane or his cheefully saying the closest he’s got, a floatie, will help “When” we crash. She’s also equally annoyed by Scrooge’s cavalier attitude, having intrusted the kids to him only to find out what the adventueres are really like. And this is the only part of the episode that REALLY doesn’t work. She KNOWS these two idiots too well for this to be beliviable. Launchpad wrecks part of the mansion at least once a day, and before Duckworth she had to clean that shit up. He’s there all the time.. and more damingly HE DROVE YOU AND YOUR KID, YOUR KIDS BEST FRIENDS, AND YOUR KIDS GIRLFRIEND TO THE FUCKING MOVIES. I can’t buy given how bad a driver launchapd is she didn’t wrench the wheel from him to prevent their early graves. Scrooge meanwhile is her BEST FRIEND. And until season 2 for her and 3 for him ONLY friend. Sure she works for him, but outside of one incident in this episode he treats her as his equal more than his housekeeper for the entire series. They trust each other more than anyone else at this point. And the only other two people Scrooge ends up trusting as much are Donald and Della. She’s been around him enough to know how he is. What did she THINK he was going to be like with the kids? She’s met the twins, and even mroe so is on good terms with Donald even into the pilot and they only got off on bad terms due to clashing over house rules. So she KNWOS this is what he does with children. You can’t be shocked Scrooge took children on death defying adventures in a barely secured plane after all this time. It’d be like giving Donald a turkey to carve and being suprised when it ends in this...

It just dosen’t work especially with a professional spy! Her job is reading people! And yes I know many of you are going to say “Well she misread Bradford”... but so did Scrooge and so many others. NO ONE suspected him. He’s that good. So her suddenly having a complaint about all this stuff when she could’ve come along anytime to check it out or just looked at the plain bothers me a LOT. Thankfully it’s only really present at the start as while it sets off her concern their back and forth soon has a far deeper meaning. But Scrooge insists Launchpad take her on a tour to ease her worry, seems like a contrdictary set of sentences there, while he flies. How hard could it be. Somewhere on the Moon, Della has the sudden urge to kick her uncle’s ass. 

So meanwhile in a secret base set up in a cargo box, the kids are working on the Della mystery. Turns out what Louie smuggled aboard was the documents shredded on the date the boys found on the Spear of Selene plans. Louie got them by smooth talking Quackfaster who even he found nuts. It also once again shows Dewey was only holding things back by keeping the other boys out as in jus weeks, since chronologically there were two other episodes between this and the last Della episode versus just one, their almost to the truth as one document from that day is simply torn into pieces and simply needs to be re-jiggered like a puzzle. Like most puzzles though naturally once they get it all together they find there’s one goddamn piece missing and it ends up loose int he plane flitting around... just as Scrooge majorly screws up and bumps things, leading Beakly to wonder where the kids are and them to scramble out. 

So yeah Scrooge seemingly crashed the plane.. except Launchpad notes that if they crashed.. why are they still airborne? This leads to everyone finding out their precariously perched on a VERY narrow rock that’s skewered the plane. Orignially the crew decided to strictly adhere to the concept that any movement would rock the thing.. but realized i’td make things boring visually so they allowed themselves some artistic license. 

So yeah our heroes are stuck in a hard place and Scrooge stubbornly digs in insisting he can fix this and turns on the plane.. which sends it spinning and prevents Dewey from getting the piece which ends up wedged in the jeep. Huh I think we need some appropriate music for going in circles. 

So yeah all Scrooge did was blow up one of the engines... I mean the blow up the engine button is right there, would’ve saved you some time. So Beakley berates him for not calling for help and digging in and for it’s next plan it’s time for Handyman Corner where he’s going to show you how to jumpstart a plane with a jeep’s engine. Beakly is not impressed and Scrooge’s case is not helped as Louie feigns fear , with Huey and Webby following his lead, so Dewey can get the piece. Unfortunately pointing out the very REAL dangers they face, with Huey giving the odds and Webby pointing out unlike most dangers they face there’s no easy way out and no villian to fight, sends Louie into an actual panic, jumpstarting the car  and causing the cargo bay to open, leading to one hell of a sequence: From Bentina driving a butterfly knife into the ground to hold the kid’s secret base crate (and wondering why it’s so heavy), to Launchpad desperatley platforming his way to saftey to scrooge swining in with his cane to rescue them. It’s some whopper animation that really shows off how damn good the team was and how gorgeous this show truly was at it’s best. 

The results aren’t good: the plane’s ballnce is now off so even a slight movement can move it, a holdover from the original idea simply saved for when it’d create the most tension. As a result Dewey can’t get the last piece as he can’t move and Scrooge berates the kids and has thems tay still watching the end credits of darkwing duck (It’s launchpad’s inflight movie and the tape is jammed to that section.

IT’s here the Scrooge and Beakley stuff went from poorly written to “oh shit” in one line. Scrooge is getting more and more desperate to prove he can take care of the kids on his own but Beakely’s demeanor has turned from annoying scolding.. to genuine concern and PLEADING with him not to go through with another dumb stunt that will leave them in a worse situation, int his case using the parachutes as counterweights to fix the engine. He refuses both rebuffing her as “your boss” (Which gets her rightfully pulling on the cord too tight) .. but then that one line comes in “I can protect her”. Beakley is confused.. but it instantly makes clear this is about Della and on rewatch now knowing the reveal at the end.. it makes it that much more heartbreaking. Part of his refusal to backdown is his natural nature as a stubborn ass. It’s been well displayed throughout this season and the ones after it: HIs refusal to backdown from nevverst, his jealousy of Dewey for being better at him and his refusal to accept it.. the man just does not back down and while it’s good in tight spots and against bad guys, as he finds a way out for him and his family with sheer grit and badassery... it’s a massive character flaw when dealing with people, as refusing to actually talk to them like a ratoinoal adult only makes things worse. And boy oh boy is he about to make things worse. But the other part is he can’t admit to himself there’s a risk in his lifestyle and that he can’t keep everyone safe constantly.. that theres inherent danger. He’s bought into the “because i’m scrooge mcduck” mantra here not out of his ego, entirely, but because he can’t let that not be enough again. He can’t LOOSE someone again like he lost Della and he can’t fail again. So his worst trait and his greatest trauma have mixed to make him act so rashly even Launchpad takes some shouting to agree to give him the other parachute. It’s clear he’s endangering EVERYONE to prove he can save them. 

Eventually though things reach their head as Dewey CAN’T take the wait anymore. He’s waited his whole life to find out about his momma, and the answer’s feet away... and he can’t let it sit any longer. He HAS to know what happened. So he goes for it, though the rest of the kids are against it since i’ts highly risky and they can wait Huey ends up agreeing to help using his Junior Woodchuck knowledge (Where Newton apparently got the idea), to counterbalance hsi weight and guide him via walkee talkee. It’s a really nice moment, not only showing off Huey’s skill and intellect but also how much they care for her. Dewey may of screwed up last time but their still the duck boys and if he can’t talk him out of being sucidially reckless.. Huey’s going to at least give him a fighting chance. 

Unfortunately Scrooge spots him mid argument with Beakley and naturally wants him to give it here... but once the ship buckles when Dewey tries we get the scene that makes the episode. Up till now the tension has been top notch, ratcheting up by bit, not knowing if the kids would get caught, if something would happen with the plane all building to this. Scrooge and Dewey’s final chase. Dewey uses the distraction to make a runner for it with Scrooge following.. and Launchapd using the fact he’s still attached to the airbag to stop him. It’s a small but excellent character moment, showing that as much as Launchpad loves his boss.. he loves his best friend and eveyrone else’s saftey more. SCrooge of course uses it to knock him back while Beakley and the kids counterbalance. We also get the best joke of the episode as Beakley tells them to stop running.. only for them to simply start tip toeing, with Bentina’s reaction being a perfectly resigned “That’s not what I meant and you know it”. 

It’s a tense chase, with both sides using the enviorment to their advantage from the parachute to the crate.. and it’s breaking open reveals something’s gonig on and causes Beakley to notice Webby has the blueprints in her pocket and once she unfurls them and finds out what they are.. she can only give a sad, remorseful “oh children, what have you been up to” She’s not even mad like they seem to think.. she’s just sad, knowing the wound that’s about to be reopened for her closest friend and the one that’s about to be inflicted on those poor children, and knowing that they’re ALL made it worst by hiding it. Toks deserves all the praise for her delivery here. 

Eventually the piece blows outside of the plane and Dewey refuses to give up and go after it. Things get their most tense as everyone BEGS him not to come back, it’s not worth his death to get this. It’s not worth all of this. But he simply chucks the walkee away and ignores them. We then get Scrooge going from scolding grandpa.. to dearly begging Dewey to come back... David’s delvery here is just heartbreaking “I can’t protect you. Is that what you wanted me to say. Please lad just tell me what it will take to come back inside?” And Ben Schwartz meets it with an utterly emotional “Tell me about the spear of selene”. The animation here is once again some of the series best with Dewey’s determined face and Scrooge’s heartbreak as he realizes he has to finally stop hiding this from them and he’s not ready. So he takes his uncles hand.. and if you thought all of this is painful.. oh boy.. we’re just getting started. 

So back in the plane, with Launchpad setting up a table and a proper counterbalance so they can all sit, Scrooge finally explains and the boys, webby, and us int he audience all get the answers we desperately wanted: It was 10 1/2 years ago. The Original Trio had journeyed the world, having all sorts of adventures and making themselves into legends. But eventually you hit a wall and they’d realized they’d been just about everywhere. They could still globetrot of courser and as Season 3 would bear out there were some places they didn’t know about.. but the earth was about used up. So Della, being an aerospace wunderkind, thought of the next logical place to go. The stars. The Spear of Selene was a rocket, her pet project to give her kids, who she was expecting at the time the stars. 

Thing was Donald wasn’t on board with this at all. And the clash between the two, which we see in the flashback but don’t hear since Scrooge is narrating all of this over some cool looking semi-still images, was inetiviable. As I coverd in the spear of selene review I feel Donald was burnt out at this point. That he was tired of adventures and just wanted normalcy even before Scrooge forced his hand with what was to happen next. So to him Della should just settle down, live a regular life and raise those kids. The problem is... Della WASN’T burnt out. She didn’t need a break to live a normal life like Donald badly needed. She wanted to keep going and it was her choice. While Donald ultimately was right about the risk, he was wrong to try and force her into a life she didn’t want and project on her like that. 

What happened next though was all on Scrooge and Della. Scrooge simply did the thing that’s likely part of why Donald resents him so much and it took so long to fix thing: He ignored what Donald felt and thought, sided with Della and built the ship without telling either of them. His selfishness, thinking he knows what best and treatment of donald.. all backfired horribly. Della sussed out the ship.. and I still feel she was suspicious on her own.. and that Bradford telling her was him simply handing her a lit fuse knowing it’d go off and WHATEVER happened as a result of this would break scrooge. Even if the rocket had gone off saftely and everything was fine.. he could easily claim Della threatned him,k which she probably did and he simply went with it, and either way Donald would be unable to forgive either SCrooge or Della for the deciet. It just went better, and worse than he could’ve anpiciapted: much like the fantastic four she took the ship in the dead of night and hit a cosmic storm, with Scrooge only finding out in time to try and help her.. but the storm hit the ship.. and unlike the ff instead of gaining the power to turn invisible, she simply disappeared. She was lost. He and Donald didn’t speak again after Donald found out till 6 months ago. 

If that wasn’t heartbreaking enough.. it gets worse. The kids, full of fresh pain and anger over Scrooge’s part in things, their mom abandoning them, and their uncles hiding this for decades.. take it out on the one person there. Frank and Matt recently said in an artcle detailing the best 7 episodes from one site, or at least what the site considered to be the best, that Donald was absent because  he also knew and would’ve told them sooner. I also feel it’s because he would’ve disarmed this conflict, at least admitting what scrooge did alongside beakley. As mad as he was.. his own anger had started to disapate. The wound was fresh to the boys and thus they lashed out. 

Dewey blames him for it outright, Huey tell shim he should’ve called her back, and Louie tells him he shoudl’ve sent a fleet of ships to find her. As we find out in the somehow even MORE crushing ending he did the last two and as I made clear, and the show does, this was Della’s horrible decision. She took an unfinsihed rocket, she left her kids, she did this. While she regretted it and I don’t hold it against her because she spent 10 years away from the mon the moon, she’s suffered THROUGHLY for it and I don’t feel I need to pile on, Scrooge wasn’t wholly responsible. Still partly. Dewey makes things worse by impling scrooge GAVE UP ON HER because it cost too much. 

Look the rest of it is valid, if misguided, as Beakley tries to chime in on it and correct them knowing the full story. But claming, no matter how greedy he is that Scrooge would ABANDON HER.. that’s just wrong and he knows it. It’s why Scrooge gets so upset.. and why he pushes the last two people in his corner away. Webby critisizes building the rocket and Scrooge belts out “This is a family matter, your not family”. runing his position and poisiong his one ally by lashing out at someone who DID NOT DESERVE THIS. Make no mistake, this is present day scrooge’s WORST action. The past scrooge did worse, we saw that, but this is almost worse than the goat thing. Telling a child h’ed basically adopted, ignoring the finale twist for this as it’s irrelvant and all it does is twist the knife deeper, that “she’s not family” just because he wants someone to be mad at besides his boys... that’s fowl. Everyone’s against him except launchpad and tha’ts where his stubbornesst ragically comes in: he digs in his heels refuses to explain.. and the plane crashes due to it. though safely. Their safe.. but the family is broken. 

So we get our hell of an ending scenes. Donald cheerfully announces to the boys, who earlier had no intention of leaving anyway, the boats finished.. only for Dewey to inform him “We know abotu the spear of selene” . Donald is heartbroken, not only that they know.. but that he didn’t tell them. 

But since “it gets worse” is this episodes motto, we end on Beakley, Webby and Duckworth all leaving on vacation. How a ghost does vacations I dunno, maybe he’s going to go to Amity Park. Point is Webby, despite EVERYTHING , is crestfallen he’s not even going to say goodbye and still worried. As I said in my review of the finale.. it’s her heart that makes her and while Scrooge may be a dick right now.. he’s family. So we get the final lines of the episode Beakley: Well, you've successfully pushed your family and everyone who ever cared about you away... again. I hope you're happy. Scrooge:I AM

It’s just damn heartbreaking.. once again he’s lost everything and is too bitter to admit it and try and get it back. And as we see between the lines.. the boys were wrong: He drained his bin and his buisnesses creating a fleet to get Della back, and kept going despite the expense. He did everything he could to call her back. Nothing worked.. and he only stopped because the board yanked him away, Bradford sneering with pride as his plan, which backfired HORRIBLY, had at last finally gotten him what he wanted: a broken scrooge tired of adventure. And as Scrooge sits in his chair seething.. he’s broken again, angry, with tears in his eyes, loving nobody.. and nobody loving him, eerily mimickcking his first appearance in comics. 

Final Thoughts: 

This episode is a masterpice. It’s perfectly paced, with only a minor flaw tha’ts qwuickly snuffed out for a gripping drama. This was a gamble, taking 9 minutes where ther’es almost no jokes and just pure tensino and heartbreak.. but it paid off. This episode is one of the series finest and leads to one hell of a finale but on it’s own.. it’s nigh untouchable. This is the series at it’s best, and the finale and later information (More about Della and the spear, WEbby’s true origin, bradford’s role in all this and role as head of fowl), only make it better, with all those things being aware to the creators but not us. They really made us wait for this reveal but damn if it wasn’t perfect. 

Next Time: Webby, Bentina and Launchpad try to desperatley piece the family back together before the boys and donald leave forever.. and Scrooge’s darkest hour leaves him vunerable for his greatest foe. It’s finally time to get back to Lena as the Shadow War descends over our heroes.

If you liked this review, follow for more and you can comission your own reviews by paying me 5 bucks to review any episode you like. Message me to talk it over. And if you’d rather get a gaurantted review every month, hit up my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. For 5 bucks a month you get a review every month and as of now special thanks in each review. Even a buck a month gets the thanks and helps and my next stretch goal, which is 5 bucks away nets everyone a review of darkwing duck everymonth for my lovely patreons to vote on. Special thanks to my patreons Emma and Kev, and I will see you at the next rainbow. 

[spencers-renaissance]

Vivaldi on Full Volume

Summary: Spencer's done enough pining, so he decides to write a letter for Aaron telling him exactly how he feels and gives it to him on the jet. He cannot be held responsible for what happens when they land.

Tags: Love Confessions, Fluff, Getting Together, Insecurity, My Typical CM Characterisation: Protective Aaron, Shy Spencer oops

Pairing: Hotch/Reid

Word Count: 5.2k

Read on Ao3

The Love Letter, Uninterrupted

Spencer’s hands are shaking as he gets up from his seat in the corner of the jet. They’re 40 minutes away from landing, deliberately planned well in advance: everyone’s well and truly settled, there isn’t long to wait for a private conversation and people haven’t woken up to prepare for landing yet. This is well thought out, he tells himself, trying to be convincing. There isn’t much that can go wrong.

Except there absolutely is. He’s run all the possible outcomes over and over in his head, at night, on the jet, spare moments in cases; he knows pretty much every possibility in and out. The worst case scenario, of course, is Aaron flips and hurts him or never talks to him again, but he knows logically that this is unlikely. No, the most likely situation is a polite rejection and a rift in their relationship, but it’s a risk he has to take. This limbo is too painful to exist in forever: he has to give himself a chance at happiness, and if that doesn’t happen he needs a chance to get over him. 

Aaron is, predictably, sitting on his own at the other end of the jet, getting a head start on his paperwork. He’d shot Spencer a questioning look when he’d opted to sit on his own instead of opposite or next to him, but everyone knows that Spencer sometimes needs a moment to himself and after he’d responded with a reassuring smile, Aaron had smiled back and looked down. 

“Reid,” he greets him as he looks up from the plethora of forms and files and reports littering the table in front of him, that questioning look returning and bleeding into his voice. “Is there anything I can do for you?” he asks after Spencer stands there frozen for a moment, shaking him out of his head and reminding him of his mission. 

“Yeah, sorry,” he says softly, chuckling a little. “Here. Can you do me a favour and… read this for me? All the way to the end? Leave your questions for the end, and we can talk once we land.” He hands him the pretty stationery wrapped in a tissue paper envelope. The seal is a deep navy that had reminded Spencer of Aaron the moment he saw it in the shop, and he used it even though he knew it would tear the tissue and was utterly pointless. His hands still shake a little as he passes it over, but he doesn’t blame himself. Anyone would be nervous. This isn’t just a Spencer thing.

Once Aaron has the letter in his hands he turns it, looking it over, before meeting Spencer’s anxious gaze with his own steady one, now filled with growing curiosity. “Of course,” he says, indulgently. It’s one of Spencer’s favourite things about him, his stoicism in the face of a surprise. He doesn’t react in a way that might further upset somebody when they share something with him, and it makes him an excellent leader. 

Spencer shoots him another nervous but meaningful smile, the kind he uses with his friends, with Henry, with people he cares about. People he’s been in love with for five years. Whatever. 

He turns away and doesn’t look back.

★

Aaron struggles to contain his curiosity long enough to wait until Spencer is settled back in his seat on the other side of the plane. This must be why he’d chosen to sit somewhere other than next to him on this flight which had admittedly confused him a little, Spencer usually liked the familiarity and comfort of sitting next to him. He’d suspected he needed space but now it seems as though he was psyching himself up to hand this letter to him. 

It’s not a resignation letter, Aaron is fairly certain of that, Spencer would never use such beautiful stationery and a seal in his favourite colour for something so straightforward and professional. He’d also given him one of those heart-warmingly open and trusting smiles before turning back, even if it was a little anxious. This is something personal. 

Finally giving into his curiosity, he carefully opens the handmade envelope and pulls out the letter written on high-quality paper in Spencer’s delicate script. 

Aaron,

I have debated sitting down and putting pen to paper to write this letter for a long time, much less handing it to you to read. This is perhaps the most forward thing I have ever done, and you will understand that it is also the bravest. I know I am crossing a line in writing this. I have never been one to break the rules, it's something we have in common, isn't it? We're both straight arrows. Perhaps I am hoping for too much. I am not the object of many's desire and maybe it is foolish to hope that someone as amazing as you could possibly be the exception, but if I don't get it out of my system I'm afraid this secret may bubble up and swallow me whole, its acidic aftertaste never quite leaving my mouth.

Immediately, Aaron’s heart starts beating out of his chest. Spencer rarely calls him Aaron -- the whole team operates on a largely last-name only basis -- but he’d be lying if those infrequent times when his first name leaves Spencer’s lips don’t make his heart flutter and insides warm. His face betrays him, he knows, but this might just be everything he’s been hoping to hear for the last four years and the team is asleep or preoccupied right now, thanks to Spencer’s clearly well-planned timing. He can afford to let his guard down a little.

His stomach clenches, though, when he sees Spencer’s insecurity bleeding into his writing, the ink revealing his painful self-doubt where his lips keep them tightly sealed away. He’s absolutely everything Aaron is craving, and if others can’t see that then it’s their own loss. He knows, though, that Spencer is too oblivious for his own good: the rest of the team don’t miss the looks he gets when they go out for drinks, but Spencer does. Spencer could get anyone he wants, even if he doesn’t realise it, and the honour of being the chosen person isn’t lost on him.

The truth of the matter is we live dangerous lives. This plane could crash, one of us could get shot, stabbed, blown up and not survive it next time. I need to take advantage of the fact that right now we are alive, and if there is any chance that I could live my life alongside yours then I must take it.

That makes Aaron let out a small, breathy laugh. He’d thought the same exact thing so many times, but Spencer was a lot braver than he was. Even if it didn’t have the potential for a sexual harrassment suit and the loss of his job, he’s not sure he’d have the bravery to tell Spencer just how in love with him he is. Not in a letter written with a fountain pen on pretty stationery, not to his face, not in front of others, not alone. Spencer has guts he’d lost a long time ago. A risky job had led to a tightly controlled personal life. He plays it safe. Spencer doesn’t.

Here is what I want:

I want to throw caution to the wind and live vicariously with you. Let's eat pancakes for dinner, drive down the interstate with the windows down and listen to Vivaldi on full volume, let's hold hands in the street in Virginia and say fuck it to anybody who has a problem with it. I want to get stuck in your head the way you're stuck in mine: when you're doing paperwork, I want to be in the back of your head. I want to excite you when you think of me naked, when you think of me spread out beneath you. Not a moment goes by where I don't think of you, Aaron. I wish I was on your mind in the same way.

Aaron’s face breaks out into a much wider smile. Oh, God, Spencer, he thinks, sending his eyes to the ceiling of the jet. You have no idea. Spencer doesn’t have to wish for this, to crave such a thing, it’s already happening. It feels like paperwork takes twice as long as it used to do before he fell in love with Spencer. It’s not even limited to his job: doing laundry, washing the dishes, cooking dinner, driving Jack to a soccer match, watching TV -- everything he does is consumed by thoughts of Spencer.

And Jesus Christ have mercy, the thought of Spencer spread out naked beneath him, what he looks like under those conservative button ups and cardigans, plays out behind his eyelids far too often. It’s made him feel like a pervert for years, fantasising about his much younger coworker and wondering what he likes in bed, how he could make him feel good. The idea that the same thoughts about him fill Spencer’s brain has him weak at the knees and hot under the collar. Of course he chose the jet to do this, he thinks amusedly. 

Let's find new TV shows and movies together! There's nothing I'd like more than to cuddle up against your chest after a hard case and watch something that we both enjoy, that gives us a sense of comfort and familiarity. On the weekends, let's get dressed up and visit fancy restaurants only to have a cheap crepe at the end of the night before rushing back home to get undressed again. I want to be yours, and I want you to prove that to the world.

Aaron’s heart is melting slowly, dripping down the inside of his chest, he’s sure of it. He’s walked into his apartment after a hard case feeling empty and defeated, wishing Spencer was there to give him a hug and take away the pain far too many times. It only ever made him feel worse, the belief that that would never happen, it never could happen, only now he’s being proved wrong. 

He already knows the first place he’ll take Spencer. Rossi had treated him to dinner there once after Haley passed away, and the ambience and seafood paella had wedged itself firmly into his mind. He’d fantasised many times about how Spencer’s eyes would look in the soft lighting, how he’d laugh in the relaxed setting, how he’d feel spoiled and loved when Aaron footed the bill, ignoring his protests. His heart feels full and bursting at the thought that soon these ideas might not be as far-fetched as he’d convinced himself for so long. He wishes he could see Spencer right now, but he knows he’s probably panicking quietly in the corner, and he was told to save his questions for the end. He’ll play on his terms, especially since it was Spencer who’d had the bravery to do this in the first place.

My biggest fear in writing this letter, though, may not be that you simply won't return my affections, but that you're still in love with Haley. I could never seek to replace her, but I know how deeply you loved her and how painful the wounds of your grief still are. I hope you know, Aaron, that if you do love me back, I'm not jealous of Haley. Not at all. I respect her and I respect your grief.

He can’t help the stab of pain in his gut at the mention of Haley. He’d loved her so deeply and he knew the team was acutely aware of that, Spencer probably more than anybody else if this letter was anything to go by. It strikes him then, just how kind Spencer is. He’s always known it on some level, of course, but the selfless compassion and love for the people around him is so overwhelming when he takes a moment to properly comprehend it. He could have glossed over his late wife in such a letter, but instead he chose to promise Aaron that he could share his heart with Haley. He knows Spencer will keep such a promise. 

I've tried for years to hide the way I feel, Aaron. I went on dates to try and get over you, I dodged you in the break room and bullpen to avoid conversing with you which only made my infatuation worse each time, I feigned plans to get out of family nights because seeing you in a casual setting is so cuttingly painful. I can't hide it anymore, though. I'd rather transfer out of the BAU than continue in this limbo of awkward pining. If you hate me, that's okay, I can deal with that. But there isn't much I don't know, and not knowing this? It's agonising.

Aaron’s stomach clenches again. He wishes they hadn’t been pining all these years so Spencer didn’t have to exist in the parallel of his own realm of wistful agony. The thought of him avoiding him in the break room with the empty ache of unrequited love filling his insides, believing he could never have him when Aaron had been doing the same thing is almost laughable: they were both so oblivious.

Seeing Spencer dressed in jeans and a t-shirt last year when Morgan had invited them all to one of his renovation projects had tortured him for weeks afterwards, and now he was being told that he’d done the same to him; Spencer had gone home after those gatherings and thought about him casual and relaxed, unbuttoned polo shirts and all. It’s almost unbearable. 

It’s reassuring, though, to know Spencer is as committed to this hypothetical as he is. Aaron would leave the BAU, too, if it came to it. If it meant he got to come home to Spencer and cuddle him on the sofa with history documentaries playing on the TV that Spencer was subconsciously memorising and would repeat the next time it was even slightly relevant in conversation. If it meant he could smile knowingly, and wrap an arm around his oblivious boyfriend’s waist, proving to the world that Spencer was his, just like he asked. 

The only way to end this letter is with hope. Any answer you give me I will respect, but I am holding out hope that you will say all this back to me, that you will write your own love letter or profess your own love. That you have similar fantasies and daydreams about me, that you've thought of all these things, too. Thank you for reading this all the way through, Aaron. All that's left to say are five simple words:

I'm in love with you.

Spencer.

Aaron reads the letter over once more before folding it carefully and placing it back in the envelope. He’s completely floored, to be honest. The last thing he expected after a fairly straight-forward case in Seattle was a love confession from the man he’d been in love with since before Haley even passed away, but he’s going to take it and run with it, consequences be damned. 

The plane starts to descend and the rest of the team begin rousing from their naps or putting their books down as chatter starts to rise. “Right,” Aaron says, grabbing everyone’s attention, though Spencer keeps himself carefully tucked away in the corner. “We should have the next few days off though we are on standby, okay? Everyone get some rest, make sure you come back refreshed and ready to tackle the next case. Don’t forget your reports though, have them emailed to me or on my desk by Monday.” He gives everyone a tight smile before turning away as conversations resumed. 

He knows Spencer is tormenting himself by analysing every cadence in his voice, trying to gauge his reaction and he longs to walk over to him and kiss his anxieties away, but he can’t. Spencer specifically asked him to wait until they landed, and he can’t reveal anything to the team so early, certainly not without discussing it first. Instead, he sits back in his seat, abandoning the paperwork in front of him in favour of fighting the fond, excited smile off his face and imagining his first kiss with Spencer, the anticipation making it so much more intense now that it’s actually real.

Time, as it always does, passes, however slowly. They eventually land and Aaron schools his face as the rest of the team pour out onto the tarmac. “Right everyone, I’ll see you in a few days but keep your phones on in case we get called up,” he calls once they’re all off the plane. As everyone starts to peel off to the garage or the office, he turns to Spencer, still keeping his face straight for the sake of others around them. “How about we go to my place and talk.”

“That sounds good,” Spencer says, small smile taking the edge off the anxiety on his face. 

★

The car ride back to Aaron’s apartment is quiet. “I don’t need to pick Jack up until the morning, so it’s just us tonight,” he explains, and Spencer is relieved to see his face soften significantly now they’re alone. He allows a dash of hope to flare in his chest before forcing himself to temper his expectations. You don’t know anything yet. He could be letting you down easy, this could be a pity thing. His fingers drum anxiously against his thigh as Aaron drives, eyes focused straight on the road, his face still unreadable. God, does he have to be so sexy when he drives? 

Just like the time on the plane, though, the time in the car eventually passes, the tension thick between them by the time Aaron pulls into his apartment complex. He smiles gently at Spencer as he takes the key out of the ignition. “Shall we head up?” he asks, and Spencer’s floored at what he sees in his face: he’s wearing the expression he only pulls when he looks at Jack or the team as a whole on a relaxed evening out. To see it directed at him exclusively is a kind of intensity he isn’t prepared for and it bowls him over for a second. 

“Yeah,” Spencer laughs breathily. “Sorry, yeah. Let’s go up.” 

The apartment door closing behind them sounds way too loud to Spencer and, sick of the tension, he decides to try and clear the air. “Look, Aaron, Hotch, can you just tell me--”

He’s cut off by Aaron’s lips pressing firmly against his own, a hand coming to rest on his waist while another grips his face gently. It takes him a second to catch up before he’s kissing back, overwhelmed by the feeling of Aaron’s hands on his body, the very hands he’s admired for years, the hands he’s fantasised about, the hands that make him feel things. He reaches up to place his own on Aaron’s chest, feeling the broadness there, the strength in the body against his making him weak at the knees. 

Aaron pulls away eventually. “God, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he says, voice as breathless as Spencer feels. 

“Me too,” he replies, chest heaving as he catches his breath. “Maybe… maybe we should do it again.” He smiles shyly at Aaron before leaning in again, this time gasping a little as Aaron pushes him back against the door for leverage, tracing his hand up and down Spencer’s sides, making him tremble in his grip.

“God, Spencer, you’re so damn breathtaking,” Aaron says in between fervent kisses. “Literally.” They both giggle into each others’ mouths at that, relief filling both of them up to the brim as the knowledge that finally, finally, their pining is over sets in. This could be it, they could build something real. 

“Aaron,” Spencer moans, trembling more as Aaron presses himself closer, right hand moving to grip the back of his neck gently, holding him firmly against his body. It overwhelms Spencer a bit, feeling completely surrounded by a man who was so unattainable for so long, by the person he’s been in love with for years. 

It was completely involuntary, but it makes Aaron pull away, resting his forehead against Spencer’s as they both breathe deeply. “We should talk,” he says softly, pressing a final chaste kiss to Spencer’s lips before pulling back completely and taking his hand, leading him to the sofa. 

“Could I have a blanket or something?” Spencer asks shyly, looking sheepish. “I’m a bit chilly.”

He sees realisation dawn on Aaron’s face along with a little bit of guilt. “Of course, Spencer,” he says. “Sorry this is so backwards. Do you want anything else? Something to eat or drink?”

“No, I’m fine,” Spencer says lightly. “Let’s talk and then we could order some dinner?” 

“Sounds perfect,” he smiles, reaching over into a cupboard and bringing out a thick, fluffy blanket. He drapes it over Spencer and makes sure he’s completely comfortable before sitting down opposite him on the sofa himself. “So. Your letter.”

Spencer ducks his head, a light flush tinting his cheeks. “Yeah, I guess I didn’t know how else to say it?” he says, a question colouring his voice. 

“No, I’m not criticising you,” Aaron rushes to clarify. “It’s possibly the most romantic, beautiful thing anyone’s ever done for me, and the truth is, Spencer, I’m in love with you, too.”

Spencer’s head darts up, wide, earnest eyes meeting Aaron’s serious gaze. “You are?” he asks, voice filled with the surprised sort of wonderment that always betrays him whenever any sort of love or affection is revealed to him.

“I am,” Hotch chuckles fondly. “Very much so. I’ve loved you since before Haley passed, to be honest. I’ve done all the things you wrote in your letter, too; I want all the same things you do.”

Spencer’s blush darkens a bit at that, remembering… certain parts… of his letter that he hopes Aaron includes in that statement. “All of it?” His voice is a little squeaky, almost cracking as he clears his throat at the awkwardness. 

“Yeah,” Aaron grins cheekily, loving that he can appreciate the blush on Spencer’s cheeks openly now. There’s no more room for hiding. “All of it.” 

Spencer clears his throat again. “So, is this what you want? Me? A relationship?” he asks, still a little uncertain, not quite secure in the fact that Aaron won’t back off and say this was an experiment, he’s not really committed in the same way Spencer is. 

“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away,” Aaron says earnestly. “I want you. I want everything that comes with you, I want the highs and lows of a relationship, I want commitment, I want fun, I want seriousness. Spencer, will you be my boyfriend?” 

Spencer’s brain short circuits for a second before he looks up with the widest smile, one usually reserved for Henry, the kind that reveals unadulterated, unconditional love. “Yes,” he whispers as he launches himself across the sofa and into Aaron’s arms, resting his head on his chest as he revels in the comfort of that exact moment. Finally, though, the extreme emotions of the evening catch up with him and he can’t quite fight them off anymore, maybe his brain is finally convinced that he doesn’t have to, that he’s safe here. Whatever the reason, he can’t help the tears that start to leak from his eyes, or the sobs that softly wrack his shoulders. 

“Spencer,” Aaron whispers back, voice dripping in concern. “Spencer, what’s wrong?” 

“It’s just… it happened,” he tries to explain through his snivelling. “What I hoped for… at the end of my letter. I wrote ‘I am holding out hope that you will say all this back to me, that you will write your own love letter or profess your own love. That you have similar fantasies and daydreams about me, that you've thought of all these things, too.’ And you did. You do.”

“Yeah,” Aaron says, struck with awe, too. “It’s pretty overwhelming for me, too.”

They lie like that for a while longer, finding comfort in one another’s arms, the weight of Spencer weighing Aaron down in a way that feels like security and Aaron’s arms wrapping around him in a way that gives him all the comfort and protection he craves.

Eventually, Spencer picks his head up and meets Aaron’s tired eyes. It had been a long case and an emotionally exhausting evening, and it was nearing midnight. “Shall I order some pizza?” he asks, playing with the tie Aaron was still wearing, slightly loosened but still sexy enough for Spencer to very much appreciate. 

“Please,” he says, leaning forward to press a kiss to Spencer’s lips. “I can’t believe I just get to do that now.”

Spencer hums in content. “Well, by all means, Mr Hotchner, do it again,” he says in a sultry tone.

Aaron groans. “You’d better not talk like that, Spencer, or we’ll never get our pizza.” 

“Sorry, sorry,” he chuckles. “You get us some drinks and get the telly set up. I’ll be right back.” 

Aaron closes the curtains, turns off the overhead light and turns on some lamps and lights some candles. Spencer raises an eyebrow at that and he puts his hands up defensively. “What? They’re cosy!” Spencer giggles at that, kissing him again. 

“Can we put the history channel on?” Spencer asks while Aaron turns the TV on and fiddles with the volume. 

“Wouldn’t expect anything less, sweetheart.” Spencer ducks his head and blushes, insides warming and tingling at the affection. He’s still not entirely sure this isn’t a dream. Aaron, unfortunately, doesn’t miss it. “Aw, are you blushing? Do you like that, you like it when I call you sweetheart?” he teases, smiling warmly at Spencer, clearly relishing in the deep red colour of his face. “Or is it just any pet name? You like it when I call you pretty names, baby?”

Spencer nearly outright moans at that but manages to stifle it, not that it makes much of a difference in Aaron’s delighted expression. “Stop, Aaron,” he whines in a manner that conveys he would very much not like Aaron to stop. 

“God, baby, you are too much to handle,” he groans, leaning across the sofa to pull Spencer away from his perch against the corner and into his chest. They lay quietly like that for a few minutes while the history channel plays a documentary about the Battle of Trafalger, breathing deep and slow as they appreciate this little slice of serenity while they wait for their dinner to arrive.

Once their pizza boxes are empty and they’ve finally had something to eat, Aaron turns to Spencer who’s meticulously wiping the pizza grease on his fingers away with a napkin, making him smile fondly. “Hey, Spence?” he asks, grabbing the attention of the younger man. “I wanted to talk to you about something you wrote in your letter.” 

Spencer looks a little bit like a rabbit caught in the headlights, hesitant as to what Aaron is about to say. What if he was mortally offended by something, or he didn’t like something I wrote? Was I too forward?

“First of all, I’ll always love Haley, but in a distant, wistful kind of way that I can’t quite explain. She’s been gone for a while now and I’ve moved on,” he explains, and Spencer’s flush returns. It’s one thing to write the letter, hell, it’s one thing to hand it to Aaron, but it’s another thing entirely to discuss the ins and outs of his heart in such graphic detail. “I fell in love with you very slowly, but I’d realised it around four months before Haley died. I’ll grant you that in the following year I didn’t really have much time or emotional capacity to dwell on it but it was always there in the back of my mind, and it’s only intensified over the last two years.”

“Really?” The flush is still firmly rooted to Spencer’s face, but his eyes are wide now, staring into Aaron’s with an earnest sort of intensity. “I had no idea.”

“Well I had no idea that you wanted everything I did, either,” Aaron chuckles. “Instead we’ve just been existing in a state of perpetual mutual pining and if you hadn’t had the bravery to do what you did, maybe we never would have known.”

“It was rather brave,” Spencer smiles, joking a bit, but they both know it’s the truth. “I’ve been in love with you since the Tobias Hankel situation. After you understood me and knew how to find me, how you saved my life. It spiralled from there and no effort to try and get over you has succeeded.”

“Mmm you mentioned,” Aaron hums. “I must say, I’m a bit jealous of these other dates you speak of.”

“Well you shouldn’t be,” Spencer says. “They didn’t hold a candle to you, and the few that made it past the first couple of dates knew that all too well.”

Aaron chuckles lightly at that before they settle into a comfortable silence, the TV still playing the background. “Do you want to stay here tonight?” he asks, voice low and a bit unsure. “No funny business, I just… don’t want to let you go yet.”

“Me neither,” Spencer says honestly. “Of course I’ll stay.” He can hear his voice still sounds a little squeaky, still vulnerable in this new situation. 

Aaron smiles back and turns the lights and TV off, blowing out the candles before offering a hand to Spencer as they make their way to his room. 

“Oh,” Spencer says, stopping in his tracks as soon as they step into Aaron’s bedroom. “I left my go bag in the car.”

“I’m sure we can find a solution to that,” Aaron smirks, pushing the bedroom door closed with his left hand and crowding him up against it with his right, diving for his neck. Spencer moans high in his throat, pressing forward further into Aaron’s hold. “You can wear one of my shirts. God, I’ve fantasised about you in my clothes for years, baby.” 

“So… so possessive,” Spencer teases through Aaron’s kisses.

“Yeah, you love it.”

“I do. I love you.”

That gets Aaron to pull away, looking deep into Spencer’s eyes, awe filling his gaze. “I love you, too. Fuck it feels so good to hear that, to finally say that.”

“I know.” Spencer’s blushing slightly, the forwardness of his remark embarrassing him slightly. 

“Come on,” Aaron says, pressing one final kiss to Spencer’s lips. “Let’s get ready for bed. I’ll find you a top and I know I have a spare toothbrush around here somewhere…”

Spencer smiles, sitting on the bed as he watches Aaron bustle around the room, finding the stuff he needs for the night. This could be it, he thinks. This could be my life now. Domesticity had never much appealed to Spencer, but sitting there now as Aaron chatters away about the visit to the shopping centre that has resulted in buying the top he tosses Spencer’s way, he knows he was right to change his mind. He was right to crave this, to crave pancakes for dinner and new TV shows and lazy mornings.

And when they’re finally cuddled up in bed, warm under the covers and safe in one another’s arms, he knows he was right to share that craving with Aaron. 

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hello, I hope I'm not bothering you, but do you have any good "enemies to lovers" recs, may they be books or movies?

I neeeever am bothered by people asking for recommendations.  Those are my favorite asks because I am nothing if not in love with my own opinions, lol

Books

Obviously, The Viscount Who Loved Me by Julia Quinn, the best Bridgerton book, because I’ve been blogging about it lol.  If you haven’t read it, it’s basically “rake tries to seduce the beauty of the ton, beauty’s older sister cockblocks him, he realizes that He Is Into It” 

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne is a classic.  Very light and fluffy contemporary, two people who’ve always hated each other begin competing for the same job and fall in love.

Kate Quinn’s Mistress of Rome series is a saga and the initial big ship of the first book (which you do have to read lol) is not enemies to lovers.  However, the NEXT ship which dominates the last two books of the series (which is four books long, and tbh... I recommend the second book but it’s a prequel and can be skipped technically) is SOOOOOOO GOOD.  It’s really “childhood friends to young lovers to SEVERE ENEMIES still secretly in love” and it’s literally epic lol.  Essentially, the series is set in Ancient Rome and Sabina (very bitchy Roman noblewoman) and Vix (child of a former gladiator, soldier) are friends who I think lose their virginities to each other?  And are in love as kids.  But then she fucks him over and marries the emperor.  Who he actually begins to loyally serve!  But he haaaates Sabina because she.... constantly backstabs him lol.  But he also looooves Sabina and gets off on everything she does.  And she wants him so badly.  And it is delicious.  And I live for it.

Both of the Evie Dunmore books I’ve read, Bringing Down the Duke and especially A Rogue of One’s Own are very enemies to lovers.  In Bringing Down the Duke it’s a bluestocking versus a duke who for political reasons is her enemy.  In A Rogue of One’s Own it’s another bluestocking versus a rake who has known her basically all their lives.  They have to begin working together and fall in looove.

Sarah MacLean LIVES for this trope lol.  Her first true enemies to lovers was Twelve Scandals to Start to Win An Earl’s Heart, in which the heroine is a scandalous young woman and the hero is a duke determined to avoid scandal--and he rebuffed her before the book began, so they hate each other.  But he also has a massive boner around her, of course. 

My favorite MacLean book, A Rogue By Another Name is another “childhood friends turn enemies to lovers”.  The leads, Penelope and Bourne (last name lol) were best friends as kid and he basically fell off after life set in.  Her family now has hold of his ancestral lands, and Bourne essentially blackmails Penelope into marrying him so that he can get those lands, after which she DESPISES him even though they had..... extremely great sex lol.  It’s SUPER GOOD, and it involves borderline voyeurism, which is great.

Then No Good Duke Goes Unpunished is very enemies to lovers.  The heroine was set to become the hero’s stepmother--then he woke up covered in blood with her missing. He then finds out, after years of being despised by society as a presumed murderer, that she is very much alive with a fake identity lol.  It’s WILD.

The Rogue Not Taken is an enemies to lovers roadtrip romance.  The heroine thinks the hero is a horrid rake who purposefully ruins marriages.  He thinks she’s a stuck up brat.  They end up journeying together and he eats her out in a moving carriage.

Theeen there’s Daring and the Duke.  The hero literally thought the heroine was dead (MacLean loves this) and is OBSESSED with her, but she hates him because the man who raised them both basically pitted them against each other after their days of being childhood sweethearts.  It’s very dark and delicious, and there are blow jobs!  Blow jobs don’t happen enough in romances, especially historical romances.  More BJs!  They are fun!

If you’re interested in a dark and BONKERS romance, Desperate Measures by Katee Robert is a retelling of Disney’s Aladdin about a modern Jafar and Jasmine getting together after he takes over her father’s criminal empire.  It’s definitely extremely explicit and a bit fucked up.  The book comes with content warnings; the first sex scene is dubcon.  (Like you’re reading from her perspective and she WANTS IT but she says no.)

Beach Read by Emily Henry is a cute contemporary in which the hero is a literary author and the heroine is a romance novelist.  They find themselves in neighboring beach houses and basically challenge each other to write in the other person’s genre.  Very light enemies to lovers.

A Heart of Blood and Ashes is a fantasy romance by Milla Vane!  Essentially, the hero’s parents were killed by the heroine’s father and he’s out to kill her father and overtake his throne.  Luckily, she’s on board.  But he needs to marry her in order to accomplish his goals.  They do not trust each other whatsoever and torment one another a lot.  For context, within the first fifty pages she gives him a handjob while her hand is covered in her own brother’s blood (and yes, he did kill her brother).  It’s great.

The Worst Best Man is about a wedding planner who suddenly finds herself needing to work with her ex-fiance’s brother... who she holds responsible for her fiance leaving her at the altar.  Very fun and sexy contemporary.

The entire Four Horsemen series by Laura Thalassa.  In each book, the heroine falls in love with a literal embodiment of one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, who is here to bring the end of the world.  VERY heavy enemies to lovers.  Kinda dark at times?  Kinda fucked up at times?  I love it a lot?  It begins with Pestilence; War and Famine have already been released, but Death has not.

From Lukov with Love by Marina Zapata.  It’s a figure skating romance; a down on her luck skater pairs up with a male skater who is extremely successful, and who she’s known for years and hated.  Verrrrry slow burn, but fun.

Movies

The Proposal, of course, starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds.  You’ve probably seen this, but the setup is that she’s his evil boss, he’s her assistant, and she’s about to lose her visa so she bribes him into marrying her so that she can get citizenship.  But ruh-roh, they have to go to Alaska for his family reunion and he’s also got a great body and is like, an Alaskan Rockefeller?  

Obviously, Clueless which is enemies to lovers by way of former stepsiblings, and also by way of the only valid retelling of Emma.  Emma itself is not enemies to lovers, really, but Clueless amps that aspect up a bit.

If you want a super tragic version, warning lol--House of Flying Daggers.  It’s a wuxia movie, so melodramatic to the max.  She’s a blind daughter of the leader of a vigilante group, he’s a soldier who’s gone undercover to follow her to their stronghold.  Many reveals and one of my favorite dramatic love stories ensues.

Princess Diaries 2, duh.  Baby Chris Pine?  Anne Hathaway?  PLEASE BITCH.

365 DNI.  If you haven’t watched yet, watch it and thank me later.  The greatest cinematic contribution of the last decade.

Down with Love.  It’s a delightful take on like, 50s/60s sex comedies in which the heroine writes a book that convinces women to ignore love and men, which makes the hero look bad and makes it difficult for him to get laid.  So he sets out to basically.....  wear a different persona?  And seduce her?  It is one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen, and I adore it.  Renee Zellweger and Ewan Macgregor have great chemistry in it too.

The Thomas Crown Affair, starring extremely hot Pierce Brosnan and Renee Russo.  She’s an insurance investigator, he’s a billionaire who basically is suspected of stealing priceless works of art because he’s bored.  She investigates him and immediately begins fucking him.  Has a scene where she dances with him while wearing a completely transparent dress.  Then they fuck everywhere in his house.  I have never wanted to be between two people more.

The Painted Veil.  A socialite marries a dorky scientist for convenience, then cheats on him.  He finds out and basically forces her to go to China with him, where he is fighting the cholera epidemic, as an extremely long and petty murder suicide attempt.  But they get to know each other!  And the ice begins to melt!  Warning: tragic but lovely.

Casino Royale YES I SAID THAT.  The James Bond reboot movie that explains why he’s such a whore!!!  HE WAS BROKEN!!!  Basically James Bond is not like... a learned man... in this movie.  So he’s a cocky bastard and the Bond girl is impossibly sexy Eva Green as Vesper, who’s the “money man” on his mission.  They begin as bickering assholes and then fall in love.  But also!  Tragedy!

The animated Anastasia movie is one of the finest enemies to lovers movies of any time, I will defend this forever

Anyway....  Hope this gives you some ideas!  Lol

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 5x18 Ruby Slippers

Thank God, I need some non-straight content in my life right now.

Aww. MM is so concerned for her bff!

God, I missed Ruby and Mulan!

Is Ruby looking for a random pack or the one her mother lead? If it’s the latter, what are they doing in Oz? 

Mulan and Ruby would have made a freaking amazing couple!!

I remember in Red’s Untold Tale animals were afraid of her. I guess Toto is too.

For God’s sake, don’t let your doggy run away! They’re not that hard to catch. I’ve beaten my doggy Happi in a few races! 

Cyclones can bring you to the Underworld? Don’t you need the blood from someone who’s died or something? 

That’s one huge ass feather in her hat.

Even if they find Auntie Em, how do they expect to get her to Dorothy? Or will they bring Dorothy to her?

Mulan knows a lot about potions! I love that detail!

I’m sorry but I just don’t like Dorothy. She doesn’t have much of a personality and just seems permanently grumpy, like, even Grumpy isn’t that grumpy. I really love that Red is bi/pan/non-straight, I just think she would be better suited to someone who’s even slightly more hopeful and happy. I would have much preferred she end up with Mulan. Yes, she can be moody but she’s a more developed character and has a greater range of emotions with a glimmer of hope, optimism and happiness. They had the perfect set up in 5x09! They seem to have a genuine friendship and work well of each other. I, among many others, really thought that’s what the show was going for. I’d have even settled for Merida. Idk, apparently, they couldn’t make a Disney Princess non-straight or something. Then give me any goddamn other established female character in the show! And I know the show has many episodes where characters fall in love in one episode. The difference is, they tend to have chemistry! And even if they don’t, it doesn’t feel like one’s the puppy taking all the crap from the other character who doesn’t seem to like them at all until the very end for no discernible reason. One character isn’t a complete grump the whole way through, making you wonder what the other character could possibly see in them and making you wonder how said grumpy character could ever fall for the optimist they’re unnecessarily mean to. 

Why is no one suggesting they take Henry back to SB with his Grandparents?!

God, Zelena’s eyes are so damn gorgeous.

Okay, maybe she’s not as grumpy as I remembered. Ruby still has way more chemistry with Snow and Mulan. 

To be fair Ariel had more chemistry with Snow and Belle and I wasn’t too keen on Eric either. 

Dorothy’s also so different from when we saw her as a child. It’s like she’s a different character. I mean tbf she’s been through a lot, but she should still be a little recognizable, right?

Does the Blind Witch have a supernaturally enhanced sense of smell?

Okay, but Ruby saying she’s never felt like this about anyone before makes me wonder if she’s just been comphet all this time. I honestly think she has and that that’s what the writer’s intended.

Accepting Mulan is excepting. And also very bisexual herself. Look at this wlw solidarity!! We needed more of this in ouat. God, Mulan, Ruby, Alice and Robin should have met up and been friends!

And people thought Snow would be homophobic! My girl is so accepting of her bff! They totally at least kissed at some point. 

I love this scene between Red and Snow!

I’m pretty sure Ruby didn’t realise she was into girls until now or she’s been concealing her true feelings for a very long time. I will forever have the headcanon that she pined for Snow all those years. She just didn’t admit to herself that she wasn’t straight. Maybe she thought Granny wouldn’t accept her. In Red’s Untold Tale she wears a cross necklace. I have no idea if that means some belief in Jesus in the Enchanted forest or some similar deity, but if she’s religious, that could have prevented her from accepting and admitting her true feelings. Goodness knows I’ve been there.

Lol Regina being Galinda. Coz her sister’s The Wicked Witch of the West, get it?!

David and Snow separating :,(

At least Hades underground lair doesn’t have that freaking red filter!

I do love this villain couple. Hades doing evil deeds to please his lover. Awesome! I’m surprised Ouat didn’t have more villain x villain couples!

You’ve had some experience with this sort of thing, Mulan? Are you talking about Aurora/Phillip or someone else? Who was Mulan’s ex?! I wanna know!

I love that two women got to share true loves kiss on a show about fairy tales and true love and got to make out afterwards (with everyone watching lol). I just wish it was Red and Mulan or someone else.

Aww. Snow and Mulan are so happy for Ruby!

Look at my boy Henry writing wlw fanfiction and drawing fanart of two women kissing. You go Henry!

“Grandpa! Will you read my wlw fanfiction?!”

On another note, I sent my Dad my fanfiction coz he wanted to read my writing lmao! Don’t worry, it was all family friendly! One of them was a super gay Curious Archer fic. Do you think he knows I’m not straight after writing that? Oh well, my cousin’s a lesbian and he seemed okay with that. Maybe he’ll be okay with me too. Fingers crossed! Hope he doesn’t tell my mum!

On this episode of Belle does something absolutely batsh*t bananas.

I don’t know if her putting herself under a sleeping curse was genius or really, really stupid. What if she burns herself?! That can’t be good for the baby inhaling all that smoke from the fiery netherworld and the temperature must be so high there!

So anyway, Mulan got married to Aurora and Phillip, and Ruby fell in love with a nice woman, maybe Kathryn and married her. 

The episode was better than I remembered. The Ruby x Dorothy interactions make me angry though. For the first official and one of only 2 official lgbtq+ romances in the show, viewers deserved better. Mulan deserves to be with someone, damnit! Ruby deserved better! 

But what makes me angrier is the outraged responses from homophobic people this episode got. Yeah, 2015/2016 was less accepting but come on, it’s the 21st century. The number of outraged parents who were like, “think of the children!” They didn’t seem to care when hearts were being ripped out. And let me tell you, I like girls before I had even heard the word gay, without any exposure at all to lgbtq+ content and without even knowing it was possible to not be straight. I legit thought I was an alien! So not exposing children to such content doesn’t change things. If your child isn’t straight, then they’re not straight. Rant over. 

I’m really gonna miss Mulan and Ruby. Love those two characters! I wish we got more of them!

[innocentsshounenjuujigun]

04. Chestnut — do me justice

((I wrote this a good while ago but never posted it here, sooooo here we are! A very sad fic featuring Henri, Nicolas, Etienne, and Henri’s issues. It’s one of those stories that really highlights how fucked-up Henri’s whole situation was, while also being something of a character study on the poor kid. :3))

. . . 

Henri is a knight now, or so he’s told. It’s the kind of thing he’s always wanted, but now that he has it, now that he has a sword at his hip, he’s not too sure if it’s really going to be okay. He’s not sure if he can do it. 

The long days of walking are exhausting. Carrying his sword at his hip makes Henri’s whole body feel lopsided and uncomfortably pulled to one side. The sword is almost as big as he is; Henri isn’t sure if he could swing it if his life depended on it. As much as he wants to be a knight and protect Etienne, the idea of cutting a real, living person still scares him. 

But... Nicolas needs him. Everyone needs him. They’re the twelve disciples who are meant to protect Etienne from all harm, and Henri’s in too deep to back out now. They all are. There’s no going home even if they wanted to. There’s no abandoning the Children’s Crusade anymore. 

No matter what happens. 

Henri thinks these things as he’s curled up in his bedroll, trying not to cry. He can’t cry anymore. He’s a man, not a baby, and crying isn’t acceptable now. The lambs look up to him. Nicolas needs him to be strong. 

The night air is cold. Insects chirp faintly in the distance. Winter is coming, and the bugs are slowly fading for the year. There are less than there was the week before, and the week before that. Time is passing little by little. Every day, Henri gets farther and farther away from his home, away from his family, and even though he wants to be a brave knight and come home in glory and honor... he gets the feeling that there won’t be a ‘going home’ at all. He made his decision, and now... that’s all there is. 

Henri brings himself to his hands and knees. Etienne has white hair now, and eyes bluer than the sky. Etienne makes miracles happen, and if any miracle needs to happen to Henri, it’s making him into enough of a knight that he’ll be able to keep up with everyone else in the Crusade. 

Standing, Henri slips out of his tent, leaving his sword behind. The camp is quiet. It seems like everyone is asleep but him. 

Nicolas tends to patrol late at night, though, and Henri needs a walk anyway. He needs some time to think. It’s not like he can sleep very well when his mind is mulling over quite so many awful worries. 

Henri slinks through the camp as quietly as he can. He makes his way to the outside, to where no one is curled up and resting, and then he breathes a sigh of relief. So many children in one place are exhausting... even though Henri himself is barely out of the lower age range of the lambs.

That’s a thought that makes him feel absolutely useless. 

Out in the woods, the air smells like moss, undergrowth, and pine. Henri walks through crunching leaves and roots that threaten to trip him, right up until he gets around the camp and to where he knows Nicolas sleeps. At the head of everyone. The leader who won’t let anyone slack off or be left behind. Simultaneously the harshest person there and the one who won’t allow anyone to get hurt. Anymore, Henri doesn’t know if he respects Nicolas or is a little afraid of him. His friend has changed. 

“Who’s there?” Nicolas’s voice calls, tense enough that Henri knows immediately that he’s in one of his moods. One of the ones where he tries to be tough like Guy... even though Henri knows much, much better. 

“Um, just me,” Henri says quietly, as to not wake anyone. 

“Henri? What are you doing up this late?”

“Couldn’t sleep... So I got up to walk around a little bit. That’s all.” Henri knows that it sounds stupid, but it really is the truth. 

“You can’t sleep? You’ve gotta be kidding me. After all the walking we’re doing, I’d think that someone like you would pass right out.” Nicolas’s tone is almost joking, but Henri bristles a bit. He doesn’t like the implication that he’s the weak one here. Even though... he probably is. 

“Well, I couldn’t. I’m sorry for bothering you...”

Nicolas makes a face that Henri can only sort of see through the darkness. It’s not quite annoyed, but it’s missing a softness that Henri is used to seeing from Nicolas. It’s missing something important. 

“Sit down,” Nicolas says. “Let’s talk.”

Henri obeys. 

He settles on the ground next to Nicolas’s sleeping place, where Nicolas is sitting cross-legged with his sword in his lap. 

Nicolas never lets that thing go, Henri has noticed. He’s so attached to the concept of being a knight that the sword never leaves his side. Just watching it, Henri doesn’t know if he should feel jealous of Nicolas’s courage or worried for his friend. It’s not normal to be like that. Even for someone like Nicolas, it’s just plain weird to be acting so differently out of nowhere. 

But Nicolas is strong, intense, and brave, and Henri has no room to complain. He knows it’s better to be tough and dedicated than it is to be a sniveling coward who cries at every little thing that happens. 

It’s better to be like Nicolas than to be like himself. 

“What do you want to talk about?” Henri asks in a soft tone. He’s almost scared of what the answer is going to be.

“The journey, I guess. What we might face in the future. This isn’t our village anymore, you know? We’re really out in the world, going on an adventure and becoming knights. It’s what I’ve always wanted, Henri. After all this time, I’m going to be a knight just like my dad.” Something in Nicolas’s tone is a little too fervent. Henri isn’t sure he likes it. Nicolas’s dad is a dead man, after all, and Henri doesn’t want Nicolas to be ‘just like that’. 

“Y-Yeah... We’re a long way from home. I kind of miss it. It was peaceful there. Not... where we have to worry about so many things.”

Henri drops his head to his tucked-up knees. He knows that Nicolas is going to be mad at him for that one, but he can’t keep his mouth shut so easily. Somehow, his real feelings always seem to come spilling right out. 

“Quit being such a baby, Henri,” Nicolas snaps, just like Henri expected. “This is a good thing. We don’t want to be stuck in that stupid, tiny village forever. We want battle! Glory! We want to be men, not ignorant children who never even get to leave their hometown.”

For a moment, Henri wants to comment that it’s not like Nicolas has a family to leave behind. He doesn’t have a mom who will cry when she misses him or a dad who will never have another son. He doesn’t have a little sister who’s forever going to wonder where her big brother went because she was too young to remember him before he left. Nicolas doesn’t have anyone who will miss him. It’s different for someone like that. 

“I guess so,” Henri says instead. Then, “You’re really brave, Nicolas. I don’t know if I’ll ever really feel like that. I just... I don’t know.”

“You will,” Nicolas insists.“You’ll understand soon enough. You’re a man now, Henri, so you’ll get it soon enough. You’ll grow up just like the rest of us. Or at least, you’d better. I don’t want to be lugging around a kid just because you can’t grow a spine. Etienne is counting on us, so you have to get a pair and start acting like you’re someone he can rely on.”

Henri can’t help but sigh. This is exactly what he expected, but hearing it doesn’t make it hurt any less. He sucks in a breath of cool night air and closes his eyes for a moment. Etienne really is relying on him. That part is true. And Henri... he wants to be someone that Etienne can trust. 

Nicolas always says that there are bigger things waiting for them, that there’s glory just beyond the horizon. Henri doesn’t know if he believes it. Most of the time, it just seems like the only thing waiting is trouble. 

“I will,” Henri says, just because it feels like he’s supposed to. 

“Yeah, you will. You can be a knight, Henri. I know you can do it. You’ve gotta do me and everyone else justice, so make sure you do.”

Henri doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what to do with that much pressure put on him all at once. Just a few weeks ago, he was a kid who’d probably never set foot outside his hometown, let alone fight anyone or have to be a knight. Now, he’s on the road every day, getting farther and farther away from everything he’s ever known. Now, he’s in a world of pagans, Knights Templar, and holy lands just out of reach. 

“...I’m gonna go sleep now.”

“Good idea. You’ll get tired out tomorrow again, so go rest. No one wants you complaining that you’re tired all day.” Nicolas laughs at that, but Henri doesn’t think it’s very funny. He’s doing his best, just like the rest of them. What makes him so easy for everyone to make fun of?

Henri stands up and leaves Nicolas and his sword behind.

He’s tired. He’s way, way too tired-- in a way that seems to have nothing to do with sleep. Henri’s whole head feels weary in a way that he can’t stop. He wants to lie down, curl up into a little ball that nothing can hurt, and stay there until the world quits being so scary. Until he can wake up in a place where the hard part is already over. 

On his way back to his sleeping place, though, this time cutting through the rest of camp. He’s too tired to care much if he wakes someone.

But... close to where he sleeps, Henri sees a familiar white shining in the moonlight. Etienne. His hair is the color of the moon itself now-- a brilliant white that Henri thinks would put even snow to shame. 

Henri steps a little bit closer to Etienne, watching the other boy’s face closely. This is the person who brings about miracles. This is the one who Henri’s supposed to give his life to protect. Yeah, Etienne has always been the kindest, purest person Henri’s ever known, but... he’s still scared. He doesn’t know what it means to give his life for someone, and he’s not sure if he wants to. Why can’t he just live by Etienne’s side? Why does he have to die to prove himself as worthy? 

It feels like Etienne would be happier if they were all alive. 

After a moment of Henri staring, Etienne’s blue eyes flutter open. He blinks sleepily for a moment before his gaze lands on Henri. 

“...Henri? What are you doing?”

“Um, just... heading back to bed,” Henri says with what he doesn’t quite think is a smile. “I took a little walk, but I think I’m sleepy again now.”

“You look scared.”

Henri tenses. Of course Etienne would be able to pick up on something like that without even trying. Either that or Henri is just a lot more obvious than he thought he was. He bites his lip. Now Etienne will chew him out too, or at the very least say something disappointed enough that Henri will wish he’d been angry instead. Both options are bad. 

“J-Just having trouble sleeping,” Henri tries to dismiss, even though he knows that his voice is shaking. 

“Then... come sleep beside me,” Etienne says in a tone so tender that it takes Henri’s breath away. “Get your bedroll and lie down here. It’s easier to sleep when there’s someone there with you. There’s space. I’ll say a prayer for you and the Lord will allow both of us to rest peacefully.”

“Okay. Um, b-be right back!”

Henri scurries away. He doesn’t know if he’s blushing from the kindness or about to cry, but oh, Etienne’s words hurt worse than any scolding from Nicolas. He wants to settle in by his friend like a child and sleep peacefully, but the world he’s in will never allow peace again. 

‘Do them justice’, Nicolas had said, right before the biggest reminder of all had come in and whacked Henri in the face. 

Henri picks up his things quietly. He can’t stop the occasional sniffle from escaping him, even as he bites down on his lip to stifle the tears. He can’t cry. He has to be a man. He can’t disappoint them. 

Henri walks back to where Etienne is waiting. 

He’s scared. 

[lonelier-version-of-you]

how did you first get into holby? and why did Henrik become your fave character?

OK, so, in the summer of 2017, I had a complete breakdown. Psychosis and all. It wasn't fun. Anyway, I would focus on literally anything if it distracted me, and one day in July my mom was catching up on Holby and happened to be watching S19E37. I had nothing better to do, so I ended up actually paying attention to the episode and was quite enthralled by the plot.

I immediately got emotionally attached to Jasmine. Cue her fucking dying at the end of that very episode.

Slightly enbittered by Jasmine's death, I didn't watch again for a few episodes. Then a few weeks later my mom was watching S19E42 "Baggage", which to this day is still one of Holby's best comedy episodes if you ask me. I found myself really enjoying it, and it helped that I'd previously been intrigued by the Dom/Lofty romance and the episode was partly focused on that.

Ergo, I got into Holby for real because of that episode, and have been in hyperfixation hell ever since. There have been times where I haven't been watching (I stopped for a while during the Gaskell storyline, then caught up on all of it after I got back into the show thanks to the Sacha depression ep which was really good), but it's like Hotel California: I can check out any time I like, but I can never leave. (And as it turns out "never" actually meant "not until March 2022" lmaooo but I digress.)

I liked Henrik pretty much from the start. You see, the last TV character I'd been truly obsessed with prior to Henrik? Was Ford Pines from Gravity Falls. Who was an older, Jewish, mentally ill, autistic-coded man with weird and specific interests, unusual emotional expression and a monotonous voice, and low empathy, who obviously deeply cared about the people around him but had trouble showing it. Sound like anyone you know? Yeah. (Granted, I didn't know Henrik was Jewish at that point - I only went back and watched Hanssen/Hemingway in early 2018, after someone on the Digital Spy forums kept going on about how it added so much context to the Fredrik storyline. But the rest of the similarities still stand.) Having been a Ford fan, I was pretty much pre-disposed to be a Henrik fan as well.

I also just really related to most of Ford and Henrik's shared traits anyway. Except for the middle-aged Jewish man parts, obviously. I have literally no idea why my faves keep being middle-aged Jewish men??? I don't know what it has to do with anything?? But it just keeps happening?? *confused shrug*

Although, funnily enough, while I liked Henrik from the off, my first proper favourite character (Jasmine was the first one I got attached to, but I didn't exactly know her for long enough to truly call her my fave) was actually Nina Karnik. I still really miss Nina Karnik and wish she'd been on the show for longer, but I digress.

Immediately after Nina left, Group Animal happened. Oliver's brain injury storyline made him officially my favourite character when I'd never thought much of him before, it was just that good (and James Anderson's performance was INCREDIBLE). I was still a Henrik fan at this point, and was amazed by Guy Henry's talent, but Ollie was my favourite.

Then Ollie left. I was very frustrated and fed up that my faves kept leaving, so this would be where I ragequit.

Then Sacha's depression episode happened. I saw the hype about it. I watched it. It was fantastic. I started catching up with all the episodes I'd missed.

I was still getting caught up when One Man And His God aired, changing my life forever in the process. Seriously, OMAHG is the episode that truly made Henrik my favourite. I don't even really know what it was. I just watched the episode and it was like it turned this switch on in my head, a switch that officially made Henrik Hanssen one of my favourite fictional characters of all time.

I think it may be, to some degree, that I realised just how much I related to his depression and self-loathing (unfortunately). Also, while I'd jokingly thought Henrik seemed to have a crush on John before, it was OMAHG that made me go "Wait, Henrik's actually bi?! This is actually a thing?!". The queerness/the homoeroticism with John definitely played a part in making Henrik my favourite, I know that much.

But yeah, I don't really know what happened, I just watched One Man And His God one fateful day in September 2018 and I have been hopelessly obsessed with Henrik Hanssen ever since.

[argylepiratewd]

2020 (Fanfiction) In Review

Tagged by @vegetarianvampireduck and @branwyn-says

Fics written this year: I, uh...AO3 says I somehow posted 38 fics? 160,990 words. JFC. 34 of those were for Person of Interest, 3 Forever, 2 original work

The ones over 1k words were:

Building Safer Houses - POI, Finch/Reese, 67k. Harold gets stabbed, and John stays with him as he recovers. There’s lots of pining and lots of h/c.

The first fic in the series, Resilience of Birds, is just over 1k, and features the immediate aftermath of the stabbing, where Harold collapses in John’s arms.

in a world that isn’t hers - POI, Finch/Reese/Grace, 26k. Grace gets shot during Beta, and Harold and John whisk her away to a safehouse in the middle of nowhere to heal. I somehow wrote this thing in a week.

Signs of Life - POI, Finch/Reese, 15k. John survives the finale, and lies around in a hospital bed miserably, until Harold shows up. Then he lies around in a hospital bed less miserably. I started this one in 2019 and had a hell of a time getting it to come together properly.

Satisfactory Conclusions, POI, Finch/Reese, 5.9k. A/B/O mpreg. Harold gets pregnant by an OC, and the pregnancy is a bit rocky. John loves him very much. Another fic I started back in 2019 and had trouble with.

Set the World Down, POI, Finch/Reese, 4.7k. Harold overworks himself. John gives him a nice, brain-melting back rub.

the science of touch, POI, Finch/Reese, 3.8k. NSFW. Harold is not used to being touched. John loves touching him. Harold loves John, so it works out.

Abundance, Original Work, Chubby Male Librarian/Male Book-lover Who Turns Out to be a Belly-Lover Too, 3k. NSFW-ish. Fluffy original chubby/belly kink fic.

potential energy, POI, Finch/Reese, 3k. Literal tech wizard Harold is very very sleepy. John knows the best place for him to be is a nice, comfy bed.

Just Hold on Tighter, POI, Finch/Reese, 3k. Five times John and Harold hugged, and one time they did more. We were CHEATED. They should’ve HUGGED.

heart to heart and hand in hand, POI, Finch/Reese, background Root/Shaw, 2.9k. Post-finale Christmas. Everyone is nursing wounds but is alive. Fluff.

Make a Guy Feel Special, POI, Fusco/Reese, 2.5k. John breaks into Lionel’s apartment and cooks dinner for him. (Writing Fusco is always so much fun. He’s so grumpy. It’s great.)

romance of the maybe undeserving, POI, Finch/Reese, 2k. Harold confesses his feelings. John claims he doesn’t feel the same.

A Worthy Buyer, POI/Forever, Finch/Henry, 1.7k. Harold and Henry meet and like each other immediately. Another fic I started in 2019.

A Snow Globe Life, POI, Finch/Reese, 1.5k. Over a year after Samaritan’s fall, Harold and John celebrate Christmas.

like a complicated line of code, POI, Finch/Reese, 1k. John accidentally reveals his attraction to Harold’s belly. I think this might be another I started in 2019.

and if that hacking bird won’t sing, POI, Finch/Reese, 1k. John can’t sleep. Harold hums him a tune. It’s a bit unconventional.

home for the new year, POI, Finch/Reese, 1k. Harold and John ring in a new year together. Last fic of 2020!

The rest are here!

Takeaways from reflecting on your kick-ass writing, or kick-ass lack of writing, during a year more focused on survival than perhaps any other: Biggest takeaway is that I need to take better care of my wrists. Some of that lesson was learned at work, when I had to type up a ton of subscriber information, but some of it was from unwise writing decisions. Breaks are good. I must take more of them as I write.

Another? I really like hurt/comfort. And fluff. I wrote a lot of fluff and h/c and fluffy h/c in 2020. It felt Necessary.

And fanfic is a really great place to escape to when the world is shitty in a bunch of different ways. I already knew that, but it was reemphasized again and again and again throughout the year. The fact that my escape brought some joy to other people who needed it was an excellent bonus. I really love it when my words bring people happiness. It blows my mind, but I love it.

Most surprising fic you wrote this year: Building Safer Houses. I did not expect to write a fic that long, especially during a trash fire of a year. 67k, wtf? It was not supposed to be that long! I had a lot of fun writing it, though, and I’m really happy with how it turned out.

How you’ve grown as a writer this year: I think I’ve started to figure out what it takes for me to write longfic a bit better, and I’m hoping to change that from writing an ungodly amount of words in a short amount of time to writing an ungodly amount of words in a period of time that does not cause wrist pain in the future.

I’ve also made a lot of progress in the being happy with my own writing department. I’m getting better at writing. I can tell I’m getting better at writing. And I’m getting better at enjoying my own writing. There’s still some “I’m not the right writer for that” going on, still some areas I know I need to improve in, but it’s not as bad as it once was.

What’s coming in 2021: I don’t know! More of the same? I’ve been having a blast writing POI fic. I see no reason not to keep it up. Other than that, I don’t know! I’ve got a few WIPs in my files that I’d like to finish, a few ideas I still want to explore, a prompt in my inbox that I still want to fill, a few exchanges I really want to sign up for...

I’d kind of like to experiment with more pairings, but I also really, really love writing Rinch...so many options!

Also, after rewatching Forever, I really want to revisit the WIP I call The Het Mpreg From Hell or The Het Mpreg of Doom at some point in 2021. I got 150k into that thing. It’d be ridiculous if I never finished it. Will this be the year? Even I don’t know.

And I think I need to, at the very least, seriously consider experimenting with writing using speech-to-text. I’m a really private person and hate the idea of writing my stories out loud, but I need to give it some very serious thought. Eventually.

But I have one more exchange deadline on the horizon, and then I am free to do whatever I want for a while.

Not tagging anyone--feel free to do this if you want!

[captainsjack]

ok so i haven’t slept in almost 36 hours and i’m running on like 4 cups of tea rn, so i’m sorry if this makes absolutely no sense, but !

listen to me when i say psych the musical: 2

-

so shawn and gus get this case about a murder that occurred during this musical and they go investigate it. maybe the lead was killed or something, and everyone’s shook but also freaking out even more because the show’s supposed to premier in like a week and the lead was killed. so shawn obviously goes undercover and he gets hired and now he’s the lead in the musical. and gus is like “are you kidding me, how are you supposed to perform in a play you’re learning in less than a week, as the lead, and fucking solve a murder !?” and shawn just rolls his eyes and does that Shawn thing where he acts like everything will turn out okay.

anyway so they investigate the murder while shawn rehearses and you know gus is there for every single rehearsal (he says it’s just to make sure shawn stays on track and gets some investigating done, because we all know he’s the sensible one. but, really, he just wants to hear shawn sing because damn this boy is really fucking good okay?)

and so the thing is, is that this takes place when shawn and juliet are either dating or married. but it’s also fucking obvious to everyone besides shawn and gus (and okay maybe juliet but only in the very back of her mind that she never listens to because she doesn’t want to because she’s happy with shawn and ignorance is bliss) that shawn and gus are completely and totally, utterly, ardently, in love with each other and they’re both in fucking denial about it.

so what i’m saying is that this musical is a love story. about soul mates. the musical is about this guy who meets this girl when they’re kids and they’re best friends (you see where i’m going with this right?). and eventually, they fall in love. but they’re both so fucking scared of losing one another that they never ever say anything to each other about how they feel. and so they grow up and they’re best friends and they’re in love but they don’t know the other feels the same way. and then the main guy goes and marries this other girl. and so the musical is about how they’re still fucking soul mates but aren’t doing anything about it and are both pining over each other and the lead is married to someone else. and so it’s about their love affair that’s not really a love affair because they never act on it because they’re in denial and can’t ever lose their best friend. except that it is a love affair because of the longing and yearning and heartbreak that they both experience even if it’s not really an affair.

and so. shawn rehearses and investigates and gus watches and investigates and you bet like hell there’s pining and yearning and angst because that’s what happens every day because it’s shawn and gus.

and then the opening night comes and they still haven’t solved the murder. shawn just needs this one thing to piece it all together but he can’t find it. he can’t solve it. and he’s racking his brain to try and solve it because he goes on in like 5 minutes and well, too late, guess he’ll have to think about the case while he’s fucking acting in this play. and so jules and lassie and henry and the chief are all in the audience because they’re waiting for shawn to nab the guy but also they want to see the play, because, really, they heard it was supposed to be quite good.

so it’s 5 minutes before they go on. and shawn’s at his place on stage, and gus is backstage, but then oh no, the woman who was supposed to play the best friend/soulmate/love interest gets sick or in a car crash or something, it doesn’t matter, the point is that she’s not there and they go on in 5 minutes. (and her understudy is out too or something). and so the director and folks are freaking out because what the hell are they going to do? and gus is back stage playing pokemon go or something, and they just look at him because this guy has been to every single rehearsal and knows the songs and lyrics and lines by heart, and they’d heard him singing along before and he’s got a really fucking good voice.

and so the play has started, and the first scene is about shawn and his wife or whatever. and the directors tell gus what he has to do and he (of course) protests, because “you must be out of your damn mind, i’m not going out there” but the thing is, he doesn’t have a choice. and so now gus is forced to play the part of Shawn Spencer’s best friend/soulmate/love interest. (the universe is really killing it with the irony this time - gus plans on having a word with god about this one).

and the thing is, is that the very first scene between shawn and gus’s characters is a fucking love song. a love song about how they both wish the other could have been the one. how they both wish they’d ended up together, but fate pulled them apart. (except it wasn’t really fate was it? it was both of them being idiots).

and shawn has no idea about the switch. he’s just on stage doing his Thing, playing his part and trying to solve the case. he expects the actress he’s been rehearsing with for the past week to come out and play her part. and so he starts singing the duet and then all of the sudden, gus (not even in costume) stumbles out on stage and now shawn’s singing - to him. and they share a look, a “what the hell is going on?” look, and gus glares back because how the hell is he supposed to explain this right now, they’re in the middle of a play, and oh look now gus is singing.

and so they stand there singing to each other about how they wished the other could be the one. and it’s awkward for a second because they’re both Shook, but then they snap back into it, because this is just a play right? they can totally do this. and oh, look, time for the romantic and heartbreaking choreographed dance moves (that yes, of course, gus knows flawlessly).

and it’s tender and flirty and a bit angsty (and lowkey kind of awkward but only at first and then it just feels natural, but wow okay that makes it really fucking awkward) and there’s romantic lights and flowing fabrics and whatever else makes the set too damn much.

and then the lights shut off and the scene ends. and shawn and gus whisper-bicker about what the hell is going on? and do you even know who the murderer is yet? and then they’re rushed off stage because the next scene is about to take place.

-

so the play alternates between scenes from shawn & gus’s characters’ childhood, present day scenes between shawn’s character & wife, and present day scenes between shawn & gus’s characters.

and i’m thinking it’s more along the lines of hamilton where it’s just mostly songs and not a lot of dialogue.

and almost every damn time, shawn and gus have some angsty duet.

either that or a really fun and loving one that they both enjoy way too much. (and during the light, fun songs, one of them will whisper something while they’re dancing and not singing, and they’ll share soft giggles and continue their usual antics (that no one else can hear, but can definitely see) while fucking on stage).

and this is the kind of dancing i’m talking about !!

-

their second song is about them as kids and wanting to run away together because they’re best friends and shawn’s family life isn’t all too great and gus wants to protect him (wow the money really hit the jackpot on this one). and it’s about little kid love and mixing your normal “i love my best friend” feelings with your “you’re my favourite person let’s live together forever” feelings and growing up not knowing the difference. and when gus sings the part about shawn’s character’s dad, he accidentally glances over at henry in the audience and then back at shawn, and henry just quirks an eyebrow up and lassie and jules glance at him, and then shawn, kinda stunned.

and this song is light and fun and shawn and gus can’t help but have huge grins on their faces and can’t help but revel in the happiness and the light, swinging dances and the feeling of each other around them. (like i’m talking shawn’s reaction to hearing gus sing - aka the gay cinema we were so rightfully given - in 4x07).

-

so their next scene together is a duet about them as teenagers and about losing each other after high school because they went separate ways, except they didn’t really lose each other because they weren’t each other’s to lose. and it’s got a bit more angst than the previous song, and at times it’s heart wrenching, but mostly it’s them thinking back to their summer after graduation and how they spent everyday together and it was just them forever and always. and this one is warm, fuzzy, and golden, and bit slower, but with that twinge of pain so carefully embedded in. and the song is about how they’re both pining over each other but won’t ever say anything and will only hope. but that hope isn’t enough and in the end they lose each other for a bit.

-

and the next song, well it’s the most angst filled song anyone could ever imagine. because guess what? we jump forward 10, maybe 15 years, and now shawn’s character is married. and so this song starts from gus’s point of view. about him watching shawn marry someone else. and he sings softly and full of hurt as he watches shawn and his wife dance slowly at their wedding. and as the verse ends and the music softens, shawn spins his wife during the dance and she floats off stage. and now shawn comes over to gus and he starts singing the next verse. about how he’d given gus thousands of chances to say something, and how he could’ve stopped the wedding and they could’ve been together. and they dance back and forth, out of reach of one another, until they both sing the chorus, and desperately cling to each other. because this song is about how they used to be each other’s homes until shawn got married. and now they’re not, so what is there worth fighting for? it’s about miscommunication and the missed chances between them. and during the song, they’re slipping in and out of each other’s grasp, reaching for arms and shoulders and cheeks.

and maybe once when one of them is backing away, the other accidentally whispers their real name as they slip out of reach. and they weren’t aware they were going to say it, and the other isn’t supposed to hear it but they did.

-

the next scene between them is a song about their teen and young adult years. it’s about some source of fate pulling them back into each other’s lives repeatedly. it’s light and happy and fun and (again) we get big cheesy grins as they sing about a friendship that lasted throughout the ages. about how they are cosmically tied to one another no matter what.

-

and then we have a song about the both of them still being in love with each other despite the fact that shawn’s married. it’s about how they carry on an affair that isn’t really an affair. it’s about yearning and pining from afar, and not being able to do anything about it. it’s about spending more time with your best friend than with your wife. about stolen glances and longing stares. staying together until late at night and then being forced apart. about being a mess from the angst and confusion. it’s about shawn and gus knowing things about one another that no one else knows. secret languages and rose coloured glasses. and this dance parallels the previous one about not being each other’s home anymore. it’s them yelling at each other look what you’ve done to me, i’m a fucking mess around you now. and i always will be.

-

their second to last scene together is shawn’s explanation to gus about why he chose his wife instead of him. it’s because shawn knows he’ll never be good enough for gus and so this is best for the both of them. it’s tender and delicate, and mostly just them sitting there, gently touching each other and maybe cradling cheeks and pressing foreheads together. and gus sings back about how shawn’s wrong and how he’s perfect for him and how gus will do anything for him. and shawn keeps responding that he’ll never be good enough but he’ll still do anything for his best friend.

and the thing is, with each song, the characters fade more and more. at some point the play stopped and it was just shawn singing to gus and gus singing to shawn, and no one else was around them and there was no murder to solve.

and maybe at the end of that last song, when the music fades out and shawn sings “i could never give you peace” or “i’m not what you need” or “you deserve the best, and that’s not me,” gus chokes out a whispered “yes you can” or “yes you are” or “yes it is.”

and shawn stills and opens his eyes and looks at him, but the lights are off so he can’t really see, but he can feel gus’s breath ghosting across his lips because their foreheads are pressed together, and gus’s hands have tightened against his neck and cheek and shawn can’t fucking breathe because that wasn’t scripted, and he wasn’t even sure if he was supposed to hear it.

and, really, gus was barely aware he even said it. it took him a second to register what happened. but then they’re pulled apart again because the next scene is about to take place.

-

so, after some more scenes with shawn and his wife, then there’s the finale.

and, wow, what a heartbreaking number you guys. so the play ends with a song about how shawn was gus’s one and only heartbreak. how he wouldn’t want anyone else to break his heart but him. because it’s shawn. and the thing is, the finale was just supposed to be gus singing this song while watching shawn and his wife walk away and move on with life.

but then.

when gus is singing, shawn’s only looking at him and not his wife, and soon he begins to sing the words softly with gus. and as gus is in the middle of the song - something about how shawn broke his heart but he’d always be there because it’s shawn, about how he was his one and only love, how gus knows he messed up in the past, but when shawn married someone else, that was the worst thing that could’ve ever been done - shawn breaks away from his wife.

and gus kind of stumbles in the song a little, because what’s shawn doing, this isn’t scripted. but then shawn’s singing with him. and he’s so close to him, and now they’re both singing about how they would never be whole without one another. about how they are both each other’s one and only love and one and only heartbreak. and they’re gently clutching each other and their noses brush and they’re smiling against each other but their lips aren’t touching, and they finish the song together.

-

and that’s how the play ends. the curtains close, the crowd rises and claps, and the crew is Shook, because what the hell guys, that’s now how the play was supposed to end.

but shawn and gus are still looking at each other, and maybe they’re resting against one another and clinging to each other.

and then shawn blinks. because oh. wait. he solved the case. the pieces clicked. it all makes sense. shawn stumbles out in front of the curtains again, and gus frowns and follows him, and then shawn does his whole extravagant This is How the Murder Went Down thing and the You’re the Guy Going to Jail thing.

and so the case is solved and the guy is arrested and shawn and gus are definitely not looking at each other, because wow, that just happened. and they go outside and meet everyone and everyone congratulates them on the performance.

and they’re overwhelmed with strangers saying “that was such a moving performance” and “you guys have such chemistry” and “that felt so real” and “wow it really felt like you both meant those songs.”

so, of course, shawn and gus are Shook, but they can’t show it so they just stiffly thank everyone and try like hell to ignore henry’s looks.

henry was going to say something, poke fun at them to make things less tense, but shawn is uncharacteristically quiet, which is never a good sign, so he just purses his lips and glances between them and says goodnight.

and jules, lassie, & the chief had all left earlier to bring the murderer to the station, so they’re not there and it’s just shawn and gus.

but when shawn had made his Solving the Case declaration, juliet had met his eyes and they had been filled with heartbreak and understanding and just a bit of regret. and it had made shawn’s stomach twist inside him and his heart feel heavy.

but then he’d looked back at gus standing next to him, automatically by his side again despite everything, and he’d known he’d made the right choice. that this is really how the play should have ended.

and so the walk back to the blueberry is silent, partly because both of their voices are so sore and they’re so tired, but also because neither of them really know what to say.

and it’s not until they’ve driven for a while, not until they’re outside the police department, having just pulled into a parking space, does gus say softly, “the play wasn’t supposed to end like that.”

and shawn looks at him, his face open and honest and showing every emotion, and he says, “but it should’ve.”

and then gus crashes his lips against shawn’s and shawn sighs into him, and he doesn’t know when it happened but his face is wet with tears and so is gus’s.

the kiss is desperate and loving and broken-hearted, but it’s the kind of heartbreak that starts to heal once it begins.

[itwouldbeajoytobringyoutea]

Zukka RWRB AU

Alright y’all, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for. (This means literally only @firebenderlesbian and @beemami.) While watching ATLA for the first time not long after reading Red, White, and Royal Blue — I want to say, oh — six times, I had a galaxy-brain moment and thus, this AU was born.

Basic character breakdown...

Zuko = Henry

Sokka = Alex

Katara = June

Suki = Nora

Toph = Bea

Aang = Pez

Azula = Philip (lol)

Ozai = Queen Mary

Ursa = Arthur

Hakoda = Ellen

The real shit...

Zuko is the crown prince of the Fire Nation, and has grown up around his shitty father, Fire Lord Ozai, his younger sister, Azula, his best friend / fellow royal person, Toph, and his other best friend / random diplomatic tie, Aang. (How does the Avatar becomes friends with Zuko? Why isn’t he killed by the Fire Nation? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )  He’s known he’s gay forever, but his father and sister have tacitly kept him in the closet. 

Sokka, big-shot-but-not-technically-royal of the Southern Water Tribe has two friends: his sister, and his ex-girlfriend. (Do not ask me Sokka and Suki met!) 

Zuko and Sokka meet when they’re, like, 18 at some diplomacy thing. Zuko instantly falls in love, while Sokka instantly fall in hate (because Zuko says something petty and Sokka is a dramatic bitch). Cue three-ish years of one-sided pining and one-sided hatred. 

Then there’s a Big Thing hosted by the Fire Nation (Azula’s wedding?? Who would marry Azula, though, let’s be real.) that Sokka, Katara, and Suki all attend. Bullshit ensues, Sokka accidentally causes a scene, and Hakoda is pissed. So, he sends Sokka back to the Fire Nation to patch up appearances with Zuko / the Fire Nation / Ozai (whomst we do not yet know is a Motherfucker™). They spend some time together and actually talk, and Sokka realizes that Zuko isn’t, you know, a stuck-up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself. (Woof.)  Zuko suffers the whole time because like Sokka is hot? And funny? And smart? And talking to him??? Of course, Zuko is desperately awkward.

Once Sokka goes back to the Southern Water Tribe, they start writing to each other to keep up the ruse (nothing incriminating in these letters, oh no, not yet). 

After months of long-distance flirting, Zuko visits the Southern Water Tribe for an Event and kisses Sokka before fleeing and ghosting him.

Cue Sokka’s bi panic. He always thought he was straight? Like he loved being with Suki? But Zuko? Kissed him? Basically this super bi-acting character has his bi-awakening to the surprise of absolutely no one. Suki is there to tell him he’s fucking bi guide him through it all. “Still waters, deep dicking.” is obviously still a line.

Zuko comes back to the Southern Water Tribe for an Event, Sokka confronts him, they make out, they bang it out, etc. 

Zuko and Sokka start sending letters (coded this time) and meeting up to make out, etc. Sokka is desperately trying to not catch feelings without realizing he is desperately trying to not catch feelings.

Somewhere in all this, Zuko tells Sokka about his whole family’s deal — Ozai being an abusive, awful person, Azula trying to meet Ozai’s expectations and becoming shitty in the process, his mom dying, etc. Sokka wants to kill Ozai with his bare hands.  

Katara confronts Sokka about fucking the crown prince of the Fire Nation, which means that now Katara, Suki, Aang, and Toph know. (Who are Cash, Amy, and Shaan in this AU, you ask? No fucking clue.) 

The Super Six all go out somewhere (maybe in the Earth Nation?) for a night of drinking and debauchery!!! Zuko absolutely does some sexy karaoke. 

(Maybe there’s some drama with Water Tribe politics? IDK, this AU is pretty light on the political part of RWRB.)

Sokka tells his dad about his relationship with Zuko, and Hakoda is happy for him but does nearly herniate himself.

More sexy times, more sexy coded letters.

Zuko visits the Southern Water Tribe, meets Hakoda, and hangs with Katara and Suki. Sokka realizes he’s in love, but Zuko runs away before he can tell him. :(

After being ghosted, Sokka follows Zuko back to the Fire Nation, where he declares his love. “I fucking love you, okay? You don’t make it fucking easy. But I’m in love with you.” still stands. 

Zuko takes Sokka to his favorite place in the Fire Nation (What is this? No idea!), info dumps about his passions, and Sokka falls even more in love with him.

Some level of Zuko and Sokka’s relationship is leaked, leading to Katara to imply that she’s the one dating Zuko. It helps, but it sucks. 

Not long later, their whole relationship is revealed, as their decoded letters show. They both freak the fuck out, but Hakoda supports Sokka and his relationship. Suki figures out that Ozai is the one that decoded and leaked the letters, because he wants to publicly shame/discredit Zuko.

Team Water Tribe heads to the Fire Nation in order to get a meeting with Ozai. Ozai’s plan backfires, because it turns out the world shows overwhelming love and support for Zuko and Sokka. Some kind of hand-waving happens where Aang strips Ozai of his power (and/or kills him, I want Ozai dead) and Azula abdicates (perhaps because she realizes she’s real fucked up and wants nothing to do with the Fire Nation for the rest of her life), so Zuko is now the Fire Lord!

While all this was happening, Katara and Aang start dating, and Suki and Toph either become BFFs or start dating, whatever you prefer.

Zuko and Sokka because the power couple of the Four Nations and everything is good and gay in the world!!!

There’s another version of this AU that aligns much more closely with RWRB, but I love the world building on the Avatar universe so I decided to do it this way instead. 

***

Edit: Y’all, @llamora is writing this AU and I’m helping! She’s posted the first chapter already here. Please read, kudos, comment, and subscribe!