#& I actually take all my cues of how to act in fandom spaces from one very popular historical Hamilton account on here

[compacflt]

Sorry for the ridiculous ask (really it's unforgivable), but:

Iceman went to NYC to see A Chorus Line in '87.

2. Confirmed watched Sound of Music with Carole for her birthday.

Am I connecting any dots here and did Ice have to go to Hamilton as a publicity stunt in the last year of the Obama presidency?

oh no anon im being very intentional with my ice-musical-theatre links. its easy lazy writing shorthand for him being gay lol. even if he isn’t actively seeing shows he does put the tonys on in the background every year just bc he likes the color and dancing

he’s not a fan of rap and he doesn’t like how Hamilton bastardized american history for its own political aims thereby convincing multiple generations of laymen of factoids that simply aren’t true (Hamilton was strictly speaking not an immigrant & could only extremely loosely be called an abolitionist of any stripe) but he’s also a milquetoast liberal so he says he likes it for clout but he’s also a military flag officer so no one is really expecting him to go see Hamilton for publicity purposes so idk

the pentagon circa 2016:

[mqfx]

unfortunately my most prominent jyl thoughts start with the soup. & im no expert on ancient chinese kitchens, but given that lotus root & pork soup is something that simmers for hours, i think that as much as the soup is an act of service & a tried and true "we dont have to talk about it" comfort tactic, its also... a great excuse to duck away from everything going on. the kitchen being the safe space, so to speak! and overall jyl seems more avoidant than confrontational? i havent read mdzs for the details in years can you tell but i think theres a good chance under the right circumstances she could have become jfm 2: shijie edition, in which she can read emotional cues fairly well and she doesn't want anyone to be unhappy, but how proactive she might be about resolving a situation is entirely based on how secure she feels. im not forgetting her valiant defence of wwx "i take insults against him seriously" moment! but theres a difference between an eroding stagnant unhappiness & a situation that is more clear cut. im just not confident about how she would raise jin ling in the whole (waves hand) jin situation if she had not been collateral damage. is this making sense 😭

this is all true but let me make clear that my problem with how the fandom conceptualizes jiang yanli is NOT the soup. I'm not mad about the soup and in fact since it's one of basically three things that we even know about her at all, it stands to reason that when we think about her we're Gonna Have To Mention the Soup.

and one can (if one cares enough about her, which I'm sure you do anon) draw reasonable conclusions about her character based on this thing that she does. after all, everything is (supposed to be) important in a given text. I don't disagree with anything you said. she is a careful, conflict-avoidant person due to her tumultuous childhood with abusive/neglectful parents; despite this, she possesses strong morals and protective instincts. I don't think she would've been bad at raising jin ling because unlike her parents, she and her husband actually loved each other and communicate instead of willfully misunderstanding each other then bottling it all up (if she had married someone she didn't love, then yeah she might've been jfm 2. either way we'll never know because guess fucking what mxtx did)

my ISSUE, which fandom can barely acknowledge let alone address, is that "soup" has become a convenient shorthand to refer to her, but it's not a quality. it's a thing that is associated with her, not her personality. this isn't fair! "avoidant" is a trait, "comforting" is a trait, "kind" is a trait, "average" is a trait, soup's not a fucking trait! and some of that is just the general fandom trend of flattening characters in fanon, but the fact that she's a woman and therefore not paid as much attention compared to the ~Complexities~ of the men doesn't help

and I get that sometimes it's not that serious, sometimes it's for Joaks, but why is it that even when joking people can come up with all sorts of qualities for the men but when it's her it's just that she cooks soup? and in more serious discussions, why is her sole purpose apparently to be emotional support or tragic motivation for her brothers? (because mxtx herself wrote her that way!)

why did mxtx not delve into her reactions or point of view (mdzs is the only one of her novels with switching pov, so she could have)? or even just written more scenes with her? (CQL notably gave the women more scenes. the book is abysmal on this regard.....and in others)

tl;dr mxtx did a shit job of developing her character and that of the other women, and fandom makes this problem worse by not giving a shit. the feedback loop continues. your ask and my answer combined are already more words and effort than mxtx spent on writing her

[aaaaamorphous-entity]

People need to re-learn how to Read The Assignment in fandom spaces. This can apply to a lot of things but I’m going off of a personal experience here as well as the reactions to a character re-imagining I saw earlier tonight, which sparked this post.

I posted in a character rant board a while ago about the parallels between two characters. To remove as many variables as I can for people to use to deviate from the point of this post, I’m not telling who :p Besides, that’s irrelevant. I posted about these characters’ parallels, citing the particular pieces of the decidedly sprawling franchise they’re a part of that I had seen for my observations and commentary.

Cue what I call the Patrick Star phase.

A couple people started with what-about-isms about depictions of the characters in other parts of the franchise which weren’t included in the list I had seen. Not with the purpose to add to my point, nor to correct factually incorrect claims of which I'd made none, only to argue I didn’t Know Enough to make a point at all, I guess? The point of the post was about the characters’ parallels.

A person started nitpicking my wording (which, mind, was not incoherent nor far off from the ‘perfect’ phrasing). Instead of engaging with the spirit of what I was saying and either giving their own perspective on the one nitpicked character’s mindset, or asking for elaboration on my end, they just cited why I was ackshually wrong. The point of the post was about the characters’ parallels.

Somebody DM’d me about how using they-them pronouns for a character was actually unfair to non-English speaking fans and I should be more considerate. Which isn’t the point of this post either but still irks me to this day. Especially as a resident they-them-haver myself.

Anyways. The point of the post was about the characters’ parallels. The Assignment™ was to discuss this subject. To share one’s thoughts about it, to perhaps, kindly, engage with that point and consider it, or share why one personally can’t see it, or whatever have you.

“But what if I didn’t want that assignment?” a theoretical naysayer might ask. Then: don’t comment on that post. It isn’t for you. Coming onto that post just to tell the OP why they’re wrong or What About This part of the media they haven’t seen, or the evolution of that: 'they can’t have a developed opinion of these characters if they haven’t seen XYZ'...is all unproductive, and Not Fun.

The point of fandom to me is to have fun. To engage with the media you all share a love for and build each other up. That grows creativity, and community, and furthers character analysis and media literacy and all that good stuff (ideally speaking, anyways).

If you come onto a post with an Assignment™, only to act like the Grinch and only contribute comments that spoil the fun, then why did you even comment at all? To be right? To feel superior? To just put someone in their place?

What does that accomplish besides killing someone’s desire to engage with others in this fandom, and possibly just entirely remove their creative voice from the space? I know I’ve certainly lost the desire to engage with many in my fandom save a few curated friends because so often, people Miss The Assignment.

This applies to a character re-imagining I saw tonight (not Hazbin Hotel, and not The Point Of This Post. Y’all could stand to hear this too tho), in which the comments were all negative or nitpicky. The character in question was more or less a parody, poorly written and largely disappointing for what he and many others of his group had been built up to be.

The OP had to take a lot of creative liberties to make him into an actual character, instead of a vindictive author’s joke. They still went to the effort of tying in themes and design choices that all complimented details unique to this character and the one other intrinsically tied to him, as well as incorporating a nod to an old fad in the fandom that apparently happened before I joined it. It was a pretty solid redesign IMO. Very different from the character as he was shown on-screen, but frankly, that’s like taking a burning pile of spinning gears and hammering them into a functional clock in this instance.

And all the comments had to say was ‘just make an OC at this point’, or nitpicking that this wasn’t REALLY a ‘rewrite’ because the OP hadn’t written a story or anything of substance with the character (??????????), and one person correcting OP about bipolarism, of which OP was already familiar with through a family member, though frankly I’m unqualified to comment on any of that myself (although I will note OP did not depart from the depictions of bipolarism within the original media they were working with).

All this to say: The Assignment™ of that post was to engage with the idea of redesigning that character. To add your thoughts about him, what could fit him, or possibly some alternatives if the reader felt something fit better. What did saying ‘just make an OC at this point’ add? What did nitpicking about the semantics of the word ‘rewrite’ do? It’s a nothingburger of commentary that, if I were the OP, would kill enthusiasm for the subject.

If you see a fandom post discussing characters, sharing ideas about them or the setting, talking about ships, or talking about parts of the media just clearly for the goddang fun of it, then you have two Decent options: Engage in good faith, or Just. Keep. Scrolling. Commenting just to drag down the OP does nothing but kill the mood and damage community and enthusiasm therein.

For the umpteenthousandth time: if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all

[alwayshappyhoursomewhere]

💞 and/or 🎈!

(from the fic writer ask post)

💞 what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language? Characters and their relationships. The best aspect of fanfiction for me is being able to take characters I find intriguing or that I can relate to in some way,  put them in a situation that makes them confront their relationship with (an)other character(s), and see how they (re)act. I’m really not a plot-driven writer, in the sense that I don’t have the patience to make things happen unless they directly contribute to developing the relationship I'm interested in. I don’t like writing fic where things happen to people, I usually write fic where feelings happen to people xD (Hence why I suck at writing long stories that require good plot development in order to be good, although that’s also because I have the attention span of a fly and one shots are my friends). 🎈 describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change? I don’t think I can define my own writing style, because I’ve written (fiction) very sparsely in the last 10 years compared to what I used to do before. It makes more sense to say what I admire in (fan)fiction and what I ideally strive for: sparse but meaningful prose with intentionally chosen words, good pacing, sustained tension, good character building within a believable narrative frame. A focus on portraying emotions but in a way that feels restrained; emotions are conveyed mainly through characters’ actions and non-verbal cues rather than dialogue and/or exposition. 🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic? Everything lol. From overlooking typos to under/over tagging to will-people-think-this-is-stupid to that-other-writer-is-better-so-why-should-I-bother-to-post-this. 🌻 what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going? give up: losing interest, life being busy, and obviously limited reader engagement. We all say ‘I write for myself first’ but the reality is that we also want people to read our stories and let us know if they enjoyed them, which most readers don’t do even in the easiest of way (kudos!). I guess reader-only folks just don’t get it, how validation-starved most writers are and how motivating it is for writers when readers actually give a sign they’re enjoying a story. keep going: loving certain characters/ships/dynamics too fucking much and being unable to get over the brainrot in any other way; supportive readers/friends; being in small fandoms (they are a curse too, but small fandoms motivate me more because I know that if I don’t write the thing, there’s very little chance someone else will do it, and I do want to read the thing). 🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life? (thanks for being so considerate, anon!) This is limited to my current fandom, but what I’m writing now reflects (in some ways) my experience as an aspec person who has been in a relationship for a long time (and doesn’t regret said relationship in the least) but that is only now starting to fully realize how being aspec has influenced that relationship and their approach to it (in good and bad ways). Re-engaging with fandom spaces has led to a lot of self-reflection, and now the discourse around aspec identities is much more nuanced than it was when I stopped actively being part of fandom a few years ago, which has led to a variety of 'ooohhh I get it now' moments xD

[neurodiversitysci]

My Triumphant Return to Tumblr

(Cue everyone following me looking up, thinking: “Huh? You left?”  Well, sort of, and not intentionally). 

Some of you have probably noticed posts have been sparse here the past few years. Here’s the story, in a timeline:

2018-2020: 

--Started training as an SLP (speech/language therapist). Had a quixotic dream of acting as a bridge-builder, advocate, and translator between people with communication disabilities and others in their lives. 

-- Took a break to go on leave and do some soul searching. Realized I really wanted to be a writer, not an SLP.

-- Wanting something to show for my work, returned to finish masters degree. 

2020-2022:

-- Lived in an apartment self-isolating from COVID, doing career research and taking a break from my old interests. While engaging in fandom, I meet some of the dearest friends of my life, and helped one of them edit a novel. I fell into a leadership role in an internet community and flailed around, and generally learned lot about how to participate in a community.

-- In the background, my interests in not-quite-cognitive-neuroscience matters were developing -- including trauma, mental health, addiction, and volitional action. However, I couldn’t see how they fit together yet.

-- Struggled with frustration at how little knowing about one’s own disabilities translated to actually managing them.

2022

-- Missed disability writing, saw ways it connects with my new interests and life circumstances, and decided to start blogging again.

Now, here we are!

Future entries might* include some of the following:

-- What it’s like to have passionate/intense/”special” interests...and to lose them overnight. 

-- Thoughts on books I’m currently reading: You Are Not Your Brain by Jeffrey Schwartz (famous expert on neuroplasticity and OCD), Smart but Stuck by Myrna Orenstein (not the more famous book by the same title), and A Radical Guide for Women with Attention Deficit Disorder by Sari Solden. 

-- Ways that determining and accessing the support you need as a masters student with ADHD can be challenging, even when the people in your program want you to succeed. 

-- The most challenging parts of self-isolation from COVID for me: less being stuck in a small space, rarely seeing people in person, and more the lack of external structure.

-- Transitioning careers as a neurodivergent person.

*I make no promises. What appears here will be determined by a combination of what interests you all and what is feasible for my brain to produce.

For those of you still reading, how have you been? What interests you these days? What’s been happening on Tumblr these past few years? What’s new in your disability communities?

[jasontoddiefor]

Retranslation of the Sith Code from a Linguistic Perspective

Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Nwûl tash. Dzwol shâsotkun. Through passion, I gain strength. Shâsotjontû châtsatul nu tyûk. Through strength, I gain power. Tyûkjontû châtsatul nu midwan. Through power, I gain victory. Midwanjontû châtsatul nu asha. Through victory, my chains are broken. Ashajontû kotswinot itsu nuyak. The Force shall free me. Wonoksh Qyâsik nun.

Star Wars has a couple conlangs – from Huttese to Ryl, many cultures in a galaxy far, far away have their own words. The, admittedly, most famous conlang is Mando’a, the language of the Mandalorians. It has recently gained even more popularity due to The Mandalorian and the many headcanons about the clones and their culture floating around in fandom. While Mando’a is undoubtedly the conlang with the most extensive vocabulary, it is not the soundest Star Wars conlang from a linguistic perspective. That honor belongs to the version of the Sith conlang that was later amended and developed by Ben Grossblatt.

The Sith Code, as we know it, was developed by David Gaider in 2003 for the game Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. Grossblatt’s conlang was created seven years later in 2010.

When you consider this, Grossblatt had two options when creating his conlang and translation of the Code. He could translate the Code from English into Sith, or he could pretend the English (or “Basic”) version of the Code resulted from a translation from Sith.

Why does this matter?

[AO3]

This question is easily answered when you think about the various meanings of the words. As every bilingual person knows, translating a text from one language to another isn’t easy because there are no two languages whose vocabulary matches completely. Let’s take an example from the Code:

“asha” (noun) is translated as “victory”.

This translation, however, does not explain what kind of victory “asha” refers to. While English may have only one term for victory, a Sith could differentiate between “victory you achieved on your own” and “victory by decimating your enemies”. Or “victory” might only be one translation of the word and others could be “dominance, control, superiority”. All these words lean into the direction of “victory” through the worldview of the Sith.

Basically, Grossblatt had to decide whether the English version should be the end result or the starting point of his version of the Code in Sith.

In this essay, I intend to treat the English version of the Code as the translation of the original Sith language. This is important because it means that this deconstruction of the Sith Code will be influenced by my own interpretation of the various other meanings as possible Sith word could have, which are not necessarily Canon/Legends based. I will be translating this Code line by line and, in the end, create a new version of the Code which will deviate from the Canon one but hopefully picks up the grammatical cues from the Sith version that the current one is lacking.

TLDR: I don’t want to just explain the grammar, I want to analyze it.

Now, a brief look at the in-universe history of the Code of the Sith to shed some light on the perspective I’ll take into consideration while translating.

The Code itself was allegedly created by the Fallen Jedi Sorzus Syn. It was meant to be a pendant and an update of the Jedi Code simultaneously. While this is technically speaking fine, we do run into some troubles from a historical perspective.

The Code was first authored on the planet Korriban in 6900 BBY. The Jedi Exiles didn’t speak the language of the Sith species, which were enslaved by the Jedi Exiles. They used translation talismans, which granted them the ability to speak and read Sith as if it were their mother tongue.

…

Yeah, that’s stupid. I know. But it’s space fairy tale science fiction, so we’ll accept it and move on.

If you are bilingual, you might notice that you are more capable of speaking about a given topic in one language than in the other. Therefore, it would make sense if it were easier for the Jedi Exiles to talk about the Dark side in Sith, which was uniquely suited to speak about it. However, when the Code only exists as a differentiating point to the Jedi, they were bound to slip into a rhetoric that would be more along the lines of that they’d used as Jedi. That could explain why the Sith Code in Basic/English seems to parallel the Jedi Code so much. My working hypothesis is that the Sith Code – given that it is supposed to reflect Sith philosophy – can stand on its own with its own meaning. Otherwise, the Sith would only ever see themselves in contrast to the Jedi, which, given their superiority complex, is a rather strange view. Therefore, my translation will focus on staying as close to the original Sith language as possible.

Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Nwûl tash. Dzwol shâsotkun.

Now tackling that first line of the Code. The interesting part here is that Basic translates the two sentences as one. The first sentence – Nwûl tash – consists of two nouns: “peace” and “lie”. The present tense copula (the “to be”) is dropped, leaving the two nouns. When comparing this to the following sentence, we immediately see the first issue. The verb dzwol refers to “to be”. We also know it can be translated as “to exist”, “to abide”. The question that arises at this point is whether the first sentence drops dzwol or another verb referring to “to be” that we don’t know. What becomes clear, however, is that different emphasis is put on the two sentences. Many languages drop the tense copula. When the copula is dropped, the relation between the other constituents (components of the sentence) is understood. So reading the first sentence, you gain the impression that the statement “Peace is a lie” is a fact of life. “Peace = Lie” would be a mathematical way of writing it down.

Another critical thing to mention here is that Sith, as far as we know, doesn’t make use of determiners (a/the), and as such, the statement could possibly also be read as “The peace is the lie” or “A peace is the lie” and so on. But given that we do not have any information on the grammar in that aspect, I will not elaborate any further.

Now, let’s take a look at the second sentence by comparison. Here we have an explicit present tense dzwol. Unlike the rest of the Code, this sentence follows the VSO word order. Given that the rest of the Code uses topicalization, we can conclude that the verb dzwol is the focus of this sentence. Given that we are also given the translations “to exist, to abide”, perhaps it would be a more appropriate choice to use one of these words when translating to properly show the difference between the omitted present tense copula and the explicit one here.

Following this, we have to deal with shâsot and -kun. -kun refers to the adjective “only” and modifies the noun. shâsot is interesting because we are given the translation “passion” in the Code. The vocabulary list, however, translates it as “struggle”. While both have overlapping meanings, I would argue in favor of the “struggle” translation.

“Passion” stems from the Latin “passio” meaning “suffering, enduring”. Nowadays, it is used­ in Christianity to describe the suffering of Christ, but also, citing Merriam-Websters here, “the state or capacity of being acted on by external agents or forces”, as well as being motivated/moved by intense emotions. However, “struggle”, is defined as “to make strenuous or violent efforts in the face of difficulties or opposition” and “to proceed with difficulty or with great effort”. Given that the first sentence of the Code refers to the idea that peace doesn’t exist, I believe an emphasis on the aspect of fighting, which we find in “struggle”, would be appropriate.

Personally, I’d prefer “to exist” over “abide” for the verb as well. “abide” may imply that only the struggle has to be endured. I’d favor a reading that instead emphasizes the contrast that the absence of peace means the presence of nothing but struggle. My translation of the first line of the Sith Code would therefore be:

Peace is a lie. Only struggle exists. Nwûl tash. Dzwol shâsotkun.

Now we can consider the next line: Through passion, I gain strength. Shâsotjontû châtsatul nu tyûk.

Before we can tackle the translation, we have to consider three grammatical construction.

Sith is typically VSO (Verb Subject Object).

Sith has instrumental case, which is marked on the noun with -jontû. Generally, this is translated as “by” or “with” or “using”.

Sith has alethic verb mood, which is marked on the verb with -atul. Alethic mood refers to “the truth in the world” as opposed to epistemic mood, which is “the truth in an individual's mind” (epistemic). While this differentiation is not without criticism, given that all truths in the world are filtered through our perceptions of the world, it is interesting to note that Sith apparently does make this difference.

Now that we have considered these, I will break down the second sentence. The first thing I have to mention is that this sentence and the following ones are topicalized. Shâsotjontû is the word shâsot in instrumental case. As before, I prefer the “struggle” translation. The instrumental case itself is translated as “through” which is an interesting choice as that is not a standard translation. I’d instead go with the “using” translation as it further highlights that a Sith utilizes whatever tools they deem necessary and needed. Objects and people are measured against what value they have for a given person, how useful they are if you want to spell it out. Furthermore, it highlights that the Sith, at one point, actually discussed the Code and the ���best” way to use the Dark side.

The verb châtsatul is in alethic mood and translates to “gain”. This, again, also fits well with the “using” translation of the instrumental case. The subject of this sentence is nu the first person pronoun “I”. tyûk translates to “strength”. Here we run into the previously elaborated victory problem as well. The Code gives us no explanation of what kind of strength is meant here. The idea that it’s only physical strength is, of course, ridiculous. It could also cover mental strength and strength in the Force, as well as the words “might”, “courage”, “durability” and so on. This issue concerning the lack of vocabulary will continue to follow us through the complete translation of this text. As I have now elaborated on it twice, I will only make references to it in the future, with perhaps here and there a suggestion for a more appropriate translation.

My translation of the second line, taking -atul into consideration, would therefore be as follows:

Shâsotjontû châtsatul nu tyûk. Using struggle, I necessarily gain strength.

Now we can turn to the third line: Through strength, I gain power. Tyûkjontû châtsatul nu midwan.

The only new word here is midwan, which is translated as “power”. Again, the definition of power in this context isn’t clear. The translation of this line would be:

Tyûkjontû châtsatul nu midwan. Using strength, I necessarily gain power.

We can now turn to the next line: Through power, I gain victory. Midwanjontû châtsatul nu asha.

I already elaborated at length on the various possible definitions of “victory”. I, personally, prefer a reading that equals “victory” to “dominance”. What I also thought was interesting here is that the morpheme “asha” appears to be very common in Star Wars across cultures and languages. There are multiple people named with variations of that morpheme. And then, of course, there is also the planet Ashas Ree, which is deep in the territory of the former Sith Empire and had a Jedi Temple built on top of a Sith Temple. Ashas Ree could be the Basic version of a Sith term. While we do not have the word “Ree”, phonologically, it would be pronounced /riː/, and Sith has the consonant /r/ and the vowel /i:/.

A side note about Sith phonology: Sometime between the Jedi Exiles taking over and the Prequels era, the Sith lost the vowel /e/ or /ɛ/ as the Sith of that time still had words like “jen” meaning “shadow”, “dark”, and “hidden”. As this word, and others making use of it, are apparently still in use today, their vowel probably changed to /i/, /æ/, or /aɪ/. Or maybe the word “jen” is pronounced as it once was as English/Basic does have these vowels, and people can therefore say “jen”.

Returning to our translation, we can read:

Midwanjontû châtsatul nu asha. Using power, I necessarily gain victory.

And now we’re going to look at a line that made me cry:

Through victory, my chains are broken. Ashajontû kotswinot itsu nuyak.

Once more, before we can actually look at the translation, we have to look at the grammar. This is the breakdown Ben Grossblatt made of that sentence:

Ashajontû kotswinot itsu nuyak. Victory+INSTR break+ERG+LG INAM OBJ chain my+PL. Through victory, my chains break.

INSTR refers to instrumental case I already elaborated on.

ERG refers to Ergative. The interfix -win- is added to a transitive verb to indicate ergativity, meaning that the grammatical subject of that verb is its semantic object, while the true semantic agent remains unexpressed.

LG INAM OBJ means “large inanimate object”. This refers to the fact that the verb kots is part of a group of verbs called “handling verbs”. These verbs mark what kind of object is affected by them. -ot is the marker for “large inanimate object”. When searching for languages that use these “handling verbs”, Navajo was one of the first results.

Sith plurals appear to be marked on the articles or, given the lack of such, on the possessive markers: nuyak is therefore “my” and “the object I possess is plural”.

Now that we have tackled the grammar, I will elaborate on how it applies to this sentence. The ashajontû construction should be well-understood by now, so I will not linger on it.

Interesting is here that the possessive marker nuyak also indicates the number of the possessed object. In a way, this enhances the claim on the object as it is more intrinsically connected to it. The possessed object here is itsu, the “chain”, which only gains its plural through the possessive. It would be interesting here to know what the other verb markers are as “chains”, in this context, are categorized as physical objects. At the same time, their meaning is obviously meant to be metaphorical. Knowing whether Sith can make the difference and might choose to do so here would be beneficial when analyzing this line. However, evoking the image of physical chains here, which are broken, makes the act seem more striking.

And now we’ll tackle the verb. The root kots gets inflicted twice by the ergative marker and the object marker. According to Grossblatt, it can be read as “completely shatter” or “completely break”. As the purpose of the object marker -ot has already been elaborated on, I will now focus on the ergative marker.

Ergativity is one possible way of hiding the concrete agent of action without passivizing the sentence. Consider “The window broke” vs. “The window was broken” vs. “I broke the window”.

This makes the overall translation of the sentence rather interesting. The original translation reads “Through victory, my chains are broken” which is passive and not ergative. Therefore, it would be more correct to follow Grossblatt’s reading of “my chains break completely”. Still, the fact that we do not have an overt agent here makes this sentence quite interesting. While the method – ashajontû – is known, the agent could be either the speaker themself, or another person doing it for them. Given that the adverb “completely” is added to the verb, perhaps this sentence suggests that on your own, you can come quite far breaking your chains but not reach that finalized step. For that, you need victory.

Furthermore, this offers an interesting perspective on the Sith and their teachings, especially on the Banite Sith, if you read “victory” as something closer to “dominance”. In this case, the sentence almost seems to imply that by becoming stronger and surpassing another person, perhaps your Master, you manage to break your chains completely. An even deeper reading might allude to how the Sith conceptualize the chains that keep them. They appear to put their own freedom and thirst for power above everything else. Perhaps that is already too much interpretation for one line, but it was worth noting. In any case, my translation of that sentence is:

Ashajontû kotswinot itsu nuyak. Using victory, my chains break completely.

After this heavy sentence, we only have one left!

The Force shall free me. Wonoksh Qyâsik nun.

This sentence is relatively uncomplicated. nun is the accusative pronoun “me” and Qyâsik is the Sith word for Force. wonoksh is the word for “to free” in future tense. The future tense is marked by -oksh and this is the part where we get to the slightly complicated/annoying part of the sentence.

Again, we don’t know if this is the only future tense Sith has or what its exact purpose is. As opposed to English, which technically speaking only has the tenses “past” and “not-past”, Sith marks a definite future. However, this future could also have undertones such as an imperative mood. Sadly, we don’t know anything about it. Now for the future tense. As inquires across the globe have told me, “shall” is pretty outdated. In a modern translation of the Code, you’d probably say:

Wonoksh Qyâsik nun. The Force will free me.

But that detail is relatively minor. Now that I have broken down every line of the Code, let’s put it back together.

Peace is a lie. Only struggle exists. Using struggle, I necessarily gain strength. Using strength, I necessarily gain power. Using power, I necessarily gain victory. Using victory, my chains break completely. The Force will free me.

Does this Code sound better than the original work? Probably not. I have to say, I do prefer the “struggle” translation and I like the first line more in my version, but otherwise, this Code doesn’t sound particularly great. However, it was also not meant to sound good. The purpose was to create a translation closer to the Sith language version, to reverse-engineer it if you want. I do think that this endeavor was worthwhile as, for me, it has shed some more light on the thinking of the Sith.

And also this:

Sources

Star Wars: The Sith

Sith Language

Speak like a Sith article

Sith Code

Ben Grossblatt’s breakdown of his translation

Sorzus Syn, author of the Sith Code

History of the Sith Dynasties

Wookiepedia Search of asha

Translation talisman

Ashas Ree

Temple of Ashas Ree

Grammar

Zero copula

Merriam-Webster on passion

Merriam-Webster on struggle

Alethic modality

Navajo Handling Verbs

Navajo Classificatory Verbs

Ergativity

Instrumental case

Color Coded Version of this Essay

[itsclydebitches]

Hi! I was just watching good omens and I came up with some questions, but I didn't know whom to ask, so I was digging around for go analysis blogs and found you. *takes a breath* So, I was wondering if you had any thoughts on why Heaven's camera angles are the way they are. I noticed that, in heaven, the camera tends to focus on the characters' heads specifically, so they fill most of the screen. Either it's a meta reason or a reference to something (like Newt with the Office) that I'm not getting. That's the main thing, but I've also wondered why exactly Aziraphale uses the verb "fraternize" in the 19th century. It seemed an odd pivot from caring about Crowley's safety to Heaven's rules. Thanks so much!

Hello! Omg yes, let's talk Good Omens cinematography.

First, the obligatory Analysis Disclaimer: I doubt there's a specific interpretation that you're just not getting, some singular, "correct" reading of the scene(s). Two years past release, I'm positive the fandom as a whole has come up with plenty of ideas (I mostly hang on the periphery. I'm far from up to date with GO meta), but any and all of it will, by nature, be subjective. Thus, all I can offer is my own, personal interpretation.

So for me? It's about intimacy.

Not intimacy in the sense of friendship, but rather the broad idea of closeness. Confidentiality. Emotion. Knowledge. Understanding by means of literally getting into the thick of these conversations. I love the camerawork in Heaven (and elsewhere) because the camera itself acts like a person — an additional party to these interactions. And, since we're the ones watching this show via the camera, it makes it feel as if we're peeking into scenes that are otherwise private. Obviously all cinematography does this to a certain extent, the camera is always watching someone or something without acknowledging that we're doing the watching (outside of documentary-esque filmmaking), but GO uses angles and closeups to mimic another person observing these scenes, someone other than the characters involved.

The easiest example I can give here is when Michael makes their call to Ligur. Here, the camera is positioned up on the next landing of the staircase, as if we're sneaking a look down at this otherwise secret call. There's even a moment when the camera pans to the right to look at them through the gap in the railing, briefly obscuring Michael from our view.

Here, a standard expectation of any scene — keep your character in focus — is done away with to instead mimic the movements of someone actually hiding in the stairwell, listening in on the conversation. It creates that feeling of intimacy, as if we're really there with Michael, not just watching Michael through a screen. The camerawork acts like a person overhearing an illicit conversation prior to falling back on mid/closeup shots. We're spying on them.

To give a non-Heaven example, the camera helps us connect with Aziraphale during Gabriel's jogging scene. It's hard to show through screenshots, but if you re-watch you'll see that the camera initially keeps them both in the frame with full body shots, allowing us to compare things like Gabriel's unadorned gray workout clothes with Aziraphale's more stylish outfit; one's good jogging form and the other's awkward shuffle. However, this distance also creates the sense that we're jogging with them, we're keeping pace.

That is, until Aziraphale begins to lag. Then the camera lags too, giving them both the chance to catch up, so to speak.

Until, finally, Aziraphale has to stop completely and the camera, of course, stops with him. We're emotionally attuned to Aziraphale, not Gabriel, and the camerawork reflects that. Even more-so when we cut to a low shot of Gabriel's annoyed huff at having to stop at all, making him appear larger and more imposing. Because to Aziraphale, he is.

This work carries over into Heaven's other scenes. The closeups are pretty much a given since, whether it's Gabriel realizing Aziraphale has been "fraternizing" with Crowley (more on that below!), or Aziraphale choosing to go back to Earth, the scenes in Heaven are incredibly important to the narrative. Closeups allow the viewer to get a good read on each character's emotional state — focusing on minute facial changes as opposed to overall body language — and that fly-on-the-wall feeling is increased as we literally get an up close and personal look at these pivotal moments.

Compare a shot like this one of Gabriel to the line of angels ready for battle. We don't get closeups on any of their faces because their emotions aren't important. Yes, that's in part because they're background characters, not main characters, but a lack of emotion — their willingness to enter this war without question — is also the point of their presence in this scene. So they remain a semi-identical, nearly faceless mass that runs off into infinity down that hallway, not any individual whose inner life we get a peek at via a closeup.

I particularly like Aziraphale's conversation with the angel... general? Idk what to call this guy. He's just gonna be Mustache Angel. But, getting back on track, his scene has a lot of over the shoulder shots which, admittedly, are pretty common. From a practical perspective they're used to help the audience situate both characters in the scene — you're here, you're there, this is how you're spaced during this conversation — but it can also help emphasize that closeness between them. Keeping both characters in the shot connects them and though Aziraphale and Mustache Angel definitely aren't on the same page here, those shots help cue us in to the unwanted intimacy of this moment. They're both angels... even though Aziraphale no longer aligns himself with them. They're both soldiers in a war... but Aziraphale will not fight. This angel has a list of Aziraphale's secrets, including that he once had a flaming sword and lost it... but Aziraphale doesn't want to admit those circumstances to him. This angel wouldn't understand, even if he did. Intimacy here, connection and closeness, is something discomforting because Aziraphale can no longer embrace those similarities. They put him (and us) out of sorts, so when we get them both in frame, that connection creates tension, not relief.

And many of those over the shoulder shots are given sharp angels, or the camera is placed too close to the "off screen" party. Compare a shot like Luke and Rey to Aziraphale and Mustache Angel. Here, Luke is a clean, solid line on the left side of the screen, just enough there to cue us in to where he is in relationship to Ray, In contrast, Mustache Angel's mustache is Too Close and proves rather distracting. Rey and Luke are connecting here over being Jedi with responsibilities to uphold (or at least, Luke will acknowledge that connection later lol); Mustache Angel is forcing a connection with Aziraphale that makes everyone uncomfortable.

We are too close to him here. He feels too close to Aziraphale too. This whole conversation is upsetting and discomforting, pushing Aziraphale to finally choose which side he's on (his own with Crowley). The shots aren't meant to subtly keep the audience from getting lost and then otherwise be unobtrusive, we're supposed to be Very Aware of this angel's body and how close he's getting to the character we've come to identify with — both literally (he's leaning in) and in terms of forcing Aziraphale to finally make his choice.

When Mustache Angel marches forward and gets all up in Aziraphale's face, the camera positions itself behind Aziraphale in a way that makes it feel like we're hiding behind him, with Aziraphale taking up far more of the screen than Luke does. Like the scene with Michael or running with Gabriel, the camera often likes to mimic a "realistic" response to these events. This angry, shouty angel is getting closer, best take a step back and stay out of sight behind Aziraphale, holding his ground.

These closeups also serve as a nice contrast to the wide and longshots we get of Heaven. It's an imposing place with skyscrapers in the distance, lots of steel, immaculate floors, and endless white. It's overwhelming and it's cold. But then we cut to those mid-shots of Gabriel and Michael, telling us that they're in control of it all.

Aziraphale? Aziraphale is not in control. Not now, anyway. When he appears in Heaven we get a longshot to show off this endless void and he's just another, tiny speck in it. If he weren't flailing around — an acting move that likewise helps sell how out of his depth he is — it's unlikely you'd even notice him. Aziraphale's clothing and hair blends in perfectly with the background. He's forgettable. Easily overlooked. Someone to underestimate. And when he moves, he has to come to the camera. We don't cut to Aziraphale to establish control like we do with Gabriel. He's left to awkwardly shuffle up to Mustache Angel until he's finally come into view.

Yet when Aziraphale makes his decision, he aligns himself with the brightest, most colorful, most interesting thing in the room: Earth. Earth, with all its messy individuality, is the antithesis to Heaven's controlled uniformity and a bright blue orb hanging in the midst of all this white helps remind us of that. Aziraphale rejects becoming one of the identical soldiers and instead literally reaches out for the one thing in Heaven that doesn't fit in.

When he leaves, we get an extreme closeup for the first time. Mustache Angel is pissed and as such we not only get a good look at his face in the aftermath of Aziraphale's choice, but that extreme closeup on his mouth as he's shouting too. It's like he's shouting directly at us, the viewer who is currently cheering on Aziraphale's decision. There's a war, dammit... but we don't care. Not in the way he cares, anyway.

So there's a lot! And I could probably go on, but apparently I'm only allowed to add 10 images per post now (tumblr what the actual fuck if anyone knows a way around this please share!) and I've already had to merge a bunch of images like an animal. So let's awkwardly finish up with the duck pond scene.

...without a GIF because they apparently count as images too 🙃

Simply put, I don't think Aziraphale bringing up fraternizing is a pivot from one to the other — from caring about Crowley to caring about Heaven's rules. I mean yes, Aziraphale is lagging behind Crowley in terms of rebellion and a part of him is, at this point, absolutely concerned with how he'll come across to the higherups, but that worry doesn't stem solely from a (now very shaky) desire to obey for the sake of obeying. The thing is, Aziraphale's disobedience is, by default, also Crowley's disobedience. If they're friends and they're ever found out, they'll both get in trouble. Which, we know from the end of Season One, basically means being wiped from existence. That's horrifying! And it's a horror that threatens them both. I don't think Aziraphale cares about rules for the sake of rules; after all, he started off by giving away his sword, lying to God, is currently meeting with Crowley anyway... this angel has always ignored/bent the rules — established and implied — that don't suit him. Rather, he cares about the rules if he thinks they have a chance of being enforced. If there will be consequences for breaking and bending them. This is still about caring for Crowley (as well as saving his own, angelic skin). If they're found out, Crowley dies. And, as we the viewer learn, Heaven was indeed observing them that whole time. There was always legitimate risk attached to this relationship. Aziraphale's fear, hesitance, and at times forceful pleas to stop this stem as much from Aziraphale worrying about Crowley's safety as they do a learned instinct to obey the rules without question. He pushes to end the relationship because the relationship threatens the only thing Aziraphale cares about more than that: Crowley himself.

As for the term "fraternizing," that's a loaded one! I won't go into a whole history lesson here, but suffice to say it has military roots: to sympathize as brothers with an opponent. That is literally what Crowley and Aziraphale are doing. They are an angel and a demon, supposedly innate enemies, supposedly poised for an inevitable war... yet they've formed an incredibly strong kinship. They've both learned to love their enemy, the thing every army fears because, well, then your army won't fight (just as Aziraphale won't). However, beyond the enemy implications, "to fraternize" eventually took on a sexual meaning: to not merely love as a brother, but to lay with the enemy too, usually women from enemy countries (because, you know, heteronormativity). Nowadays, "to fraternize" often implies a sexual component. I've been rewatching The Good Wife lately and in one subplot, the State's Attorney cracks down on fraternization in his office. He doesn't mean his employees are forming bonds with assumed enemies, he means his employees are having sex on his office couch. So Aziraphale's phrasing here carries a LOT of weight. He's both reminding Crowley of their stations in the world — you are a demon, I am an angel, us meeting like this can have formal, irrevocable consequences for us both — as well as, given the fact that this is a love story, drawing attention to the depth of this relationship. They love one another, as more than just friends. Though whether Crowley's scathing "Fraternizing?" is a response to Aziraphale falling back on the technicalities of their positions, or acknowledging a love he's yet to overtly admit and commit to — or both! — is definitely up for debate.

[writers-blogck]

Ex's and Bo's ( Bokuto Koutarou x Reader )

Warning(s): Probably the most in-depth kiss scene I have ever written? Not really nsfw in any way, maybe a little making out????? Also, expect some spam in the coming days. I had been super busy and unable to actually post my haitober stuff so, here comes the flood! Title: Ex's and Bo's Pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x Reader  Fandom: Haikyuu! Word Count: 2,506

        Life sucked. 

        Even the weather outside was agreeing with you as rain poured down, soaking anything that dared to be out. You were laying on your bed with as many blankets wrapped around you as possible as if the soft fabric could absorb all of your bad feelings. 

        How long had you wasted when you were dating your ex-boyfriend? You knew he wasn't good for you, you knew that from the start. But, what were you supposed to do when he was the first person to really show you any attention? He liked you in a way that was more than friends. When you had gone so long, watching everyone else get together while you were stuck on the sidelines, you couldn't believe that someone liked you. It was easy to ignore the red flags when you were just so excited that someone liked you. 

        Even though you were the one that broke up with him, it still hurt. It hurt because you felt stupid for ever agreeing to be in a relationship with him. It hurt because even though he was never good for you, you still thought he cared about you in some way. Yet, he had decided to go behind your back and flirt with some other girls. He thought you wouldn't figure it out. He must have thought you were stupid and you were starting to wonder if he was right? 

        "Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop being sad because your best friends are here!" Bokuto yelled as he walked into your room, trailed behind by Akaashi. If this was the first time they came to visit, you would be worried that your parents would get annoyed by the yelling but they had come to accept it now. It was impossible to have Bokuto over and expect to keep a quiet house. "We are going to take that frown and turn it upside!" 

        You forgot that you had texted either one of them. It started with a simple text to Bokuto, a single meme picture that hinted at how you felt. After fifteen minutes, Bokuto had already pulled the entire truth from you and invited himself and Akaashi over to take care of you. 

        "Bokuto, calm down." Akaashi slapped his friend's shoulder to pull him down from his energetic state. He had been crazy when he picked Akaashi up, ranting about how he would totally beat your ex up and how they had to make you feel better. He didn't say anything along the lines of a plan for making you feel better but he was as confident as he was on the court. You had helped him through his emo times and so it was his job to do the same thing for you. 

        The loud third year flopped down on your bed, arms wrapping around your waist to playfully tickle your sides. He knew you were ticklish and he was using it against you! It was hard to keep a frown on your face as you struggled not to burst out laughing. With his own loud laughter, Bokuto rolled over to pull you ontop of him with your back pressing against his chest. 

        "Come on, give us a smile! I'm not gonna stop until you smile for me!" He shouted, keeping you trapped like a turtle on its back. Somehow you were able to squirm out of his hold and quickly hid behind Akaashi, using him as a human shield. His face was as stoic as ever, shaking his head slightly at his friend's antics. 

        "We meant to go to the store before coming here but Bokuto couldn't wait." Akaashi sighed, glancing over his shoulder to look at you, "I was planning on bringing him here so you can babysit him while I go back out and get some stuff for us to eat. Maybe watching a toddler will help you get your thoughts off of your ex." 

        "I am not a toddler!" Bokuto sat up, arms hanging loosely with his hands in his lap. 

        "Do you want snacks or not?" 

        "....Yes please." 

        It was funny watching the two best friends communicate with each other as you rubbed your tear stained cheeks. It was easy to forget what you were crying about when you had the two of them around. This wouldn't be the first time they got you through a hard time. When you had sprained your ankle during your own volleyball practice, Bokuto (and Akaashi, when were they ever really apart?) was there in no time with your favorite drink and gave you piggyback rides to and from school for a week. 

        Akaashi gave you a questioning look, waiting until you nodded to leave your room. Nobody knew how much Bokuto could be more than this setter. He wasn't going to leave you alone with him if it was going to be too much for you. They were here to make you feel better, he didn't want to stress you out or make things worse. His friend may not always think things through but he did. 

        Golden eyes followed your form as you sat down beside Bokuto, a small huff escaping your lips. Silence had fallen over the room once Akaashi shut the door and you were reminded of why they had come over. The chaos of their intial apperence was fading and the pleasant distraction from a few moments ago was gone. You sighed, staring at your own lap in thought. Bokuto looked like a lost puppy, unsure of what he should do. He didn't like this feeling, he never liked seeing you this way. He felt helpless.

        You moved to lay on your back, eyes staring up at the ceiling. Were you sad? It was hard to tell...Everything was going to be fine, this was just one small relationship but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. 

        "It sucks..." Your voice was soft, eyes fluttering shut. 

        "Yeah, I know." You could feel the bed dip as Bokuto took the spot next to you, laying on his back and taking up the rest of the space on your small bed. You didn't mind the proximity, his warmth was nice. Even without saying anything, the simple touches that were being shared between the two of you was comforting. The brushing of arms, the hints of sides pressed against each other. You weren't sure how long the two of you stayed like that in silence but after what felt like an eternity, you heard the creeking of the bed and a presence hovering over you. Cue you opening your eyes and almost fall off your bed when you see Bokuto's signature grin. 

        While the lower half of his body was still on his side of the bed, he was now holding his upperhalf above you with those strong muscles of his. Wait...What? You would be lying if you said that you hadn't snuck peeks of the ace during his practices. To you, Bokuto was never an option because he was just so more. The two of you were so close that the idea of doing anything more than playful flirting was nonexistent. He was just...Bokuto. 

        As he looked down at you with such caring eyes, you thought that maybe you were wrong. It made your stomach flip from the proximity between the two of you. This had never happened before. The two of you had laid on each other in the past, whether it was you laying with your head on his chest or Bokuto flopped on his stomach, laying over your legs. You had done that without blinking an eye but here he was, not even touching you in any way but still making you feel this flustered. 

        "You know this has nothing to do with you, right? You didn't do anything wrong." Bokuto spoke in a level voice, sounding more serious that he ever had. It was rare you saw this side of him. It was rare for anyone to see this side of him.

        "You are one of the best people I know. It isn't right that this happened to you and I swear, 'Kaashi and I will do whatever we need to until you are back to being the same amazing person we know."

        "I just, I feel so stupid Bo. I don't want to be sad over this jerk but I can't help it. It hurts...This is shitty. It isn't fair that he decided to lead me on. When...When I was breaking up with him, he said that he never cared. He just thought I was pretty and wanted to fool around. Why do people have to lie? It isn't nice..." Tears were streaming down your face now, blurring your vision until all you could see were the splashes of color of Bokuto's eyes. 

        Bokuto moved all of his weight onto his one forearm so he could cup your face with his now free hand. His thumb brushed over a stray tear, frowning. He didn't know what to do, you were too good of a person to be hurt like this. You should be treasured like the precious person that you were. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know what to say. He never was good with his words so he decided to act instead. 

        He kissed you. 

        It was a quick peck and nothing more. As you stared up at him, you were greeted with wide eyes mirroring your own confusion. You didn't know why he did it and he didn't know why either. Three seconds passed, three heartbeats passed, and then you pulled the boy back down to capture his lips once again. A spark shot through you, ignatiting a fire in your stomach that you didn't know you have. 

        Small gasps were exchanged in the quick moments the two of you pulled away. His hand ran down from your cheek to gently caress at your neck, causing a shiver to run through you. Bokuto was very outgoing with all of his actions but here he was, slowly dancing his lips along your own with gentle contemplation. The flush of your cheeks changed from being due to crying to something else, something that even your ex had never made you feel. Perhaps deep down you knew that you weren't meant to be with him. 

        As one of Bokuto's hands was placed right next to your head, his free hand slowly snuck under your loose shirt to ghost over your skin warm. His thumb traced over your top rib, just hinting where he could touch if he only moved a few inches higher. His rough and calloused palm from spiking ran over your smooth stomach, causing your breath to hitch and shivers to run up your spine. This was not how you thought today was going to go, but you weren't going to complain. 

        "Bo..." You whined, head tilting to the side as his lips attacked the soft skin of your neck. His teeth were nipping with just enough pressure for you to feel it, tongue soothing the area just as quickly. Bokuto was like a man dying of thirst and you were the oasis shimmering before him. 

        His kisses started at your jaw with nothing more than butterfly kisses but he slowly began to suck your delicate skin the further he went down. Simple kisses turned into ones with the intent on leaving purple marks that would remind you of that night. It wasn't until he reached just below your collarbone that his teeth nipped your skin enough for a small sting to be left but Bokuto didn't give you any time to focus on that feeling before he was kissing your skin again. 

        When had Bokuto learned how to do something like this? For all you knew, the boy hadn't dated anyone before. He never mentioned any late-night meetings with anyone. He had told you and Akaashi the first time he had kissed a girl (A girl had kissed him to convince some creep that they were dating. They were not). The owl was so excited, just going on and on how soft girls' lips were. He wasn't even talking about that girl specifically. He just went on a rant the next day at school about how amazing girls were. It was cute.

        "I always thought that guy was terrible for you," He gasped out in between kisses, golden eyes staring up at you with such an intensity that only Bokuto could have, "Every time you complained about him, I always wanted to say how I would be so much better for you, but 'Kaashi always said that I was being overprotective." 

        A laugh escaped your swollen lips, the butterflies in your stomach being released. No longer were you feeling too shocked about what was going on. There was no way to keep yourself from getting flustered by the boy's actions but now you could enjoy it. You didn't have to feel guilty that you had just broken up with your boyfriend and that this would just mean you were sleazy. The nagging voice of your ex was slowly disappearing and Bokuto's voice was taking its place. 

        "But I was totally right, right?" His head pulled back, putting most of his weight onto his hand pushed against the bed so he was hovering over you once again. The gentle caresses evolved into Bokuto gripping your side as if afraid that if he let go, you would fade away like a ghost. 

        "Right." Your hands that had been gripping at the boy's shirt moved to wrap around his neck to pull him back down for a kiss. Your confidence was growing and that only egged Bokuto on to go further. Every action started with hesitation but as soon as you gave any sign of the go-ahead, the boy would go at it with everything he had. People couldn't say that Bokuto didn't try his best in everything that he cared about, that's for sure. 

        But all good things can't last forever and Akaashi could only take so long getting the snacks. 

        "I'm coming in so stop making out or whatever." Akaashi pounded on the door, causing Bokuto to jump like he was more of a cat than an owl. You shot up to fix your shirt as Bokuto pushed himself away. He may be an amazing volleyball player but he wasn't always the best at remembering his surroundings as a loud thump resounded in the room. Akaashi walked into the room to see you, still on your bed with red cheeks and heavy breaths, and Bokuto laying on his back on the ground, his foot being the only part still on the bed. Akaashi only sighed, walking in with the goodies he had gotten from the store. 

        You couldn't help but wonder what could have happened if the dark-haired boy hadn't interrupted. The thoughts of your ex were all but forgotten and replaced with the excitement of the future that awaited you with Bokuto.

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR

The Talk™️

lololol just kidding sorry Laura I love you here’s the real thing just in time 😘😘

We start with Ellie being veeeeery sus 👀 checking out Eastern Europe and the various countries, I mean yes there are plenty of nice, beautiful places there but this is a procedural aka obviously that area can only be shady. I also love that Nick came up silently and waited, watched what she was doing very intently, before announcing his presence. Almost like he’s been suspecting something is up with her for a little while now and seized on this perfect opportunity to do a little digging. But at the same time he doesn’t let it go on too long, and he almost gives her an out- he doesn’t accuse her of being shady AF, instead he’s like oh clearly she’s planning a trip because she’s always talked about loving Eastern Europe not the Bahamas like we’d just gotten jealous over a year ago…right, Ellie? A trip? And then her response ooo girl. She starts to get uber defensive and then realizes that oh wait, he handed me an out on a silver platter so yeah let me take it real quick. AND HE DOESN’T CALL HER ON IT. That’s the real good stuff in this scene- he’s a trained federal agent with years of undercover work, he can tell when someone is outright lying *especially* when that someone is Ellie. So he takes her defensive hesitation and than blatant lie and rolls with it. Beeeecause he trusts her. He trusts her to tell him when she’s ready. He saw how hurt she got when he kept bothering her after the kidnapping, and also saw her tell him once she was ready to. So yeah, he gets it now. He may be seriously concerned for her underneath that joking exterior, but he trusts her to tell him when the time is right, and also likely feels she wouldn’t keep anything huge huge from him. *cue getting ready for heartbreak in the finale it’s fine everything is fine*

Of course we move on to the flirty stuff because we avoid serious talk here 🙄 Ellie still sus though don’t get it wrong, shutting that laptop real quick when he rounds the corner taking no further chances. And her crossing her arms while he offends her choice of “vacation” hahaha she’s so obvious, honey you got the hots for him it’s ok. Little middle school flirting like oh yeah you can do better? Prove it jerk. And Niiiiiick 🥵 I wish you could see the screenshot I’m paused on right now after he says it depends on who he’s going with before he asks her who she’s going with because DAMN that look. He can think of one (1) person and one person only who he’d go on a trip with. Her little smirk back before she decides to throw all pretense to the wayside and says fuck it I don’t care that we’re in the bullpen out in the open lemme flirt with you ~*Agent Torres*~ AND HE’S LIKE TWO CAN PLAY AGENT BISHOP PLEASE INVITE ME ON YOUR TRIP THAT I KNOW DOESN’T EXIST BUT I’D LIKE TO KNOW I’D BE INVITED IF IT DID. And please her giddy smile afterwards and then she goes from leaning back in her chair to leaning forward towards him because these two are absolutely drawn to each other bitches and I can’t get enough of them and their little playful smiles and body language. AND NEITHER CAN JIMMY. 

Jimmy is the ellick fandom. Because yes, keep going this is ✨just delightful✨ and I never want it to stop unless you’re kissing. Thank you. And pleeeeease them stumbling over their words when they realized they’ve been caught I CANT. They both look *so* uncomfortable and it’s hilarious, and then Ellie can’t help but laugh at Nick’s dumb joke making fun of Jimmy because it’s her man and he’s so *funny*. 

Bring us to Jimmy redeeming himself. But also yes this just confirms to me that he told Nick what he needed to hear back when he said zero chemistry. And now Jimmy’s observed silently, see where Nick has come in the last year and everything the two have been through and knows he ready to hear it for real. Well Jimmy was ready a while ago for them to move it along so yeah he’s like where’s my spoon I’m gonna STIR THIS POT. And then it is born, the slogan of the episode, the point of the WWR (please don’t have PTSD Laura), The Talk™️. Nick’s face oooo man, he initially tries to deflect like no we aren’t talking about that cozy scene nuh uh and then it turns into his worst nightmare- being called out by James Palmer of all people with Ellie literally five feet away. (ALSO MCGEE IS LITERALLY A FOOT BEHIND THEM. He 1000% heard this entire conversation if Ellie heard it. Bro better not try to deny a single thing later I’m watching you sir 👀) Nick’s expression is screaming what the fuck shut UP Jimmy this can’t possibly be happening so let me try to joke and deflect again (small smile because it was still a little funny) and then back to what the fuck he’s undeterred shit shit shit oh thank god McGee has started talking yes we have a goddamn huge problem autopsy gremlin won’t take the damn hint. 

And woooooow the first time I’ve seen Nick at his desk in a while 👀👀 he said shit people are on to me let me put ✨space✨ in between us for like five seconds while we still shoot each other cute smiles. 

Oooooooh now we here for the evisceration. The Here Lies James Palmer moment of the episode. Catch me dYING in the club, not crying. Because holy shit Ellie this was not only brutal and Brian absolutely killed it during this scene with his reactions to Ellie ripping him apart. His “oh…Oh…oooh.” Had me cackling. And Ellie you are the poster child of defensive, pulling out all the stops. Let me deny everything, let me then be a slight hypocrite because people shouldn’t be talking about me (because I’m terrified about considering broaching that topic too) but I can talk about Gibbs and Sloane previously, and then also like sort of admitting to it by asking Jimmy what people think is going on because that’s the question she would *love* to know the answer to but hasn’t gotten yet. All the while cue me laughing hysterically at jimmy, top tier scene right here lets be honest. Because then Kasie comes in and it’s just perfect 🤣🤣🤣 this was his sister, Painful. Couldn’t have said it better myself Kasie 😭💀

Lol at McGee telling Ellie not to tell Nick he was right about it being a coincidence 😂

HOW CLOSE DO WE NEED TO STAND TOGETHER Y’ALL. HOW CLOSE. THERE’S A WHOLE GODDAMN BULLPEN. Remember when I said Nick wanted space for 5 whole seconds, yeah this is why. They’re straight magnets - drawn together indubitably 👀

Quick detour for the continued storyline of sus!Ellie and it makes me even more and more excited for the finaleeeeee. Because honey why do you know it takes 10 pounds of pressure to rip a trachea out and yes we all know it’s Odette and I can’t wait for the aaaaaangst. Also Kasie always coming in clutch with the humor, I live for it. “No you right I got nothing” 🤣🤣

Once again, Nick forgot about his desk, it was short-lived wasn’t it? 😅 

Now to another fun scene, and I feel like there’s a little double meaning to when Nick talks to Ellie about Phineas going through a lot this year, “more than most of us, which is saying a lot this year” - obviously covid but also maybe a callback to the kidnapping/jail cell stuff they dealt with?? Maybe?? Anyways, them being so awkward cute together because there’s a slight lull in the case so they revert back to their middle school selves, “so” “so…” I can’t with them omg. And then, and THEN of the two to bring it up, it’s Nick!!!! Yes!!! The GROWTH. This man used to be so emotionally closed off and now he, HE is bringing up The Talk™️ and he almost chickens out, he almost says haha you’re right we don’t have to have The Talk™️ after Ellie has a minor freakout because good god this girl is on *edge*. Her mind has probably been going a mile a minute the second she heard Jimmy call them out at the crime scene because she’s been living in blissful ignorance the past months/year whatever and now everything is smacking her in the face. But Nick, ugh I love the growth. He brushes it off and then has a moment where his face is like, no, no I’m not a wuss and he admits that yes he’s thought about it (the way he pauses when he says “not that it hasn’t been on my mind…us…” and I’m like yeah you two as a couple has been on your mind hasn’t it Nick 👀) and yes I want to have The Talk™️ with you Ellie Bishop. And not only does he admit this he’s also the one that’s like ok yeah cool BUT WHEN. Let’s nail this down please, I need it in my planner asap. And then she gets all giggly again “I don’t know when do *you* think?” Like omg I’m literally in middle school again. They’re so fucking cute and awkward it’s precious. Especially when they have to end their conversation and suddenly act normal when talking to McGee 😅😍 then they go separate ways and the look Ellie shoots Nick ahhhhhhh it’s almost like a let’s table this but also shit we really did half open that can of worms in the middle of a work day. Nick sighs and looks briefly to the sky like shit what did I do in a good way and bad way haha. 

Back to Kasie with the ✨iconic✨ lines I love herrrr. Ellie being sus again with being resistant to change. I can’t decide if she’s not only talking about the possibility of dating Nick (once again defensive because Kasie about came for her throat hahahah) but also maybe about whatever is going to go down with Odette 👀👀

HERE WE ARE. THE MOMENT WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. Back to being cute little awkward idiots in love that need to have The Talk™️. I mean come on they’re trying so hard to avoid the actual talk and just dancing around it “so” “so” “talk a roo” “talk a reeno” excuse me what the fuck are you saying just SAY IT. And Nick is still ready and rearing to go but also wants to respect Ellie and give her space if needed so he offers to just agree The Talk™️ needs to be had. And of course she counters with “need is a strong word” because damn this girl is spiraling. She’s so terrified of the outcome of this talk she wants to deny it needs to exist but still she can’t help it at the end of the day. And Nick is still like ok BUT WHEN. I WANT TO TELL YOU I LOVE YOU AFTER YOU TELL ME YOU LOVE ME. SO LIKE WHEN ELLIE WHEN. And he once again plays off her deflection (a theme of this episode) with yeah yeah they’re super tired not at all wired just thinking about this talk that is at the tip of his tongue. At least Ellie is finally seeing the light and realizes that they should promise to have The Talk™️ but as she sits there staring at the elevator in front of her she’s like oh fuck, it can’t be soon can it. Fuck fuck fuck I can’t hold this in longer, we can’t keep dancing around it. fuck. So when Nick once again tries to press her to nail down a time she’s like well fuck it let’s do this shit now. Then she can’t realized that shit I actually said it, I actually said that. I said we should have The Talk™️ now. And Nick’s genuine surprise mirrors hers because she’s been the one half-denying The Talk™️ all day and now she wants to do this right here right now??? But at the same time he’s got a little smile to his face because he loves the idea of her being on board and finally getting this done. Finally getting to hear how she feels. 

So they walk into the elevator with a MUCH better vibe than the last time they walked in all serious at night (looking at you dumb Nick with Elena) but I guess the Elena Elevator Talk walked so the Ellie Elevator Talk could run 👀

And Nick while yes he’s ready for this shit to finally happen he’s still vulnerable, still terrified of opening himself up because he’s seen his dad (recently) and how commitment and relationships run in the family 🙄 plus this is all very new to him outside of Sofia and this is definitely not new to Ellie (Jake, qasim). He needs to hear she’s all-in too, needs to know he hasn’t built something up in his head for something serious when she views it as just a flirtation between friends. So he nervously says ladies first and while Ellie gives him a look of protest and wtf man, I think deep down she knows this is all so difficult for him despite how much he’s pushed it over the course of the day plus SHE is ready to get this out in the open. The moment she decided to stop denying and spiraling she went full force head on let’s talk about us. She hedges for a second and Nick continues to be nervous as she’s clearly building up her own nerve. Then she says probably the exact same moment he’s thinking of- or at least one of them- the jail cell. The defining, triggering moment that set this thing at full speed. He can’t believe she’s really saying the words, about to hear what he hopes is his feeling of that jail cell reciprocated in her words and his head turns quickly to look at her, unable to believe his ears that what he’s been dying for all along is going to happen. The Talk™️ is happening and damn it seems like it’s happening in the right direction. 

Of course we have no damn clue what was said and I’m jaded and don’t think they’ll ever tell us- RIP the note. BUT I’m so glad it actually happened (and the cinematographic parallels of course), a STEP towards canon!Ellick I’m fine. 

Now to see where they take this from here in the last two episodes and I can only hope an angst filled canon!Ellick because duh. 

[vaguely-concerned]

R-r-r-rewatch thoughts for The Mandalorian S2 Ep2

(or Chapter 10 as they seem resolved to call it)

- can I just express my joy for a moment that in one episode we get peli, the answer to my pleas for female representation in the ‘sketchy middle aged car mechanic’ niche, and a female alien designed with no consideration towards sexiness. (I mean I’m sure there’s someone. There is always someone somewhere on the Internet, is the bitter truth history has shown to us. but it’s not the intention behind the design haha)  

- they do take great pains to deliberately show you boba’s armour several times both in the recap and in the episode itself, so never despair he is very likely still on his way onto our screens once more

- this dude holding the baby hostage wanting specifically the jetpack in exchange is the one (1) break this whole episode gave din lol 

also the Patented Mando Finger Curl of Stress while he talked softly and calmly to not promp this asshole to make a sudden move... the most endearing character tic, I love my space cowboy dad so much 

- fun continuity detail: din is all out of whistling birds now, and you can see it here!

I wonder if he could still use the same mechanism with different ‘ammo’, it’s just not as effective? from the way the armorer spoke whistling birds seem quite rare and it would be an inefficient use of beskar if that’s the only thing it can be loaded with

 - I love how after the last episode, a 50 min epic with a bunch of original trilogy significance and impressive technical achievements and exciting character reveals, I was like ‘yeah okay I suppose that is quite interesting’, and this mess/comedy of inconveniences is the thing that fully makes my brain tip into the obsessive ‘BABY AND DAD SHOW!! BABY AND DAD SHOW!!!!!’ mind state lol

- ah the traditional ‘mando trudging slowly but steadily through the desert’ montage we all love to see (I hope this is going to be a Thing for the second episode of every season from now on) 

Also I assume his suit has some sort of temperature regulation built in and that’s how he didn’t, y���know. die under the blazing desert sun

-

CAT FIGHT CAT FIGHT man I love the jawa. also mando doesn’t even glance over at them, really emphasizing how he’s like. done with this entire day (and it’s all barely even getting started din! i’m sorry)

 yodito’s look in this scene tho... he’s like ‘we’ve Seen some shit lady’ (actually I think he’s staring at ‘dr mandible’ like O___o. it’s been a long day for a lil boy) 

you get to see dr mandible’s cards a few times, so I assume anyone who knows the rules of... sabacc? probably? could figure out beforehand that he was in a bad spot. (the star wars fanbase is one of those where I KNOW the rules exist somewhere, and I know people who know those rules exist too)  

- that sound the baby keeps making -- the ‘boo-a’, sometimes with a p-sound at the end -- if that’s the precursor to him saying any variation whatsoever of ‘dad’ or ‘papa’ or ‘baba’ or even ‘buir’ or anything, I will die. I will sink to the ground in a heap and never get up (the way he keeps seeking out gaze contact with the helmet and seems perfectly satisfied with it too... fasdhfaskdjhl my FEELINGS)

- it seems confirmed in this ep that the mandos who died on nevarro did so while holding off the enemy so the rest(probably especially the children) could get away; some of them appear to have escaped. which I guess is a small relief

- 

frog lady stepping out of the shadows and into our hearts

I like that her firm nod after Peli translates ‘her husband has seen them’ lets us know she understands... basic? is that the common tongue thing in star wars there’s just so many to remember across fandoms lol? perfectly well, even if she can’t speak it. 

- mando might be running low on ammo for the pulse rifle, if the fact that he hasn’t replaced the missing cartridge on his... bandolier belt thingy is any indication

ETA: actually ignore me this has been a thing since the literal first episode of the show my brain just had a hiccup lol

- so baby seems to use a little bit of the force to pull the eggs towards him -- I wonder how often he ‘taps into it’ or if it’s always ‘on’ in the background for him. if so I guess there’s no wonder he’s so hungry (but also... kid you can’t end this lady’s entire family line like that one cat who singlehandedly made extinct a whole species of bird! D:)

- din so rarely gets openly angry, he just gets passive aggressive and grumpy. and that’s probably not the healthiest way to deal with things but I love him

- frog lady reacts so strongly to when din sends the ping when nothing else woke her up, I wonder if she can hear more frequencies than a human

- 

hello darkness my old frieeennnddd

- 

proof nr 1508 that din does not starve this baby you guys, he even has his own little tray just the right size for him! as it happens the baby simply seems to prefer eating things that are... still alive in some capacity. which, uh. maybe they can invest in some form of non-sentient crickets or something for him to hunt down and.... oh dear

- 

Look how they massacred my boy

By the way I finally managed to put into words why the Razor Crest -- and particularly the way it keeps getting beaten to hell and back and patched up again --  is so symbolically important and meaningful to me in this show in this post over here! it’s always a great relief to me when I can finally understand what the hell I’ve been going on about all this time and this was one of those lol

-  honestly if it weren’t for frog lady and (more importantly) the baby I think there’s a slight chance din would’ve gone ‘well I had a good-ish run of it for a while there’ and just let the ice claim him haha   

- “Why don’t you come over here and give me a hand. Make yourself useful” This is the one time in the episode I think he crosses the line into just being a dick for a moment (but noticeably the baby isn’t just a little hurt at this reaction, he’s clearly surprised and confused, which means this really does not happen often. after the time mando’s been having recently I guess a moment’s snappishness is understandable haha. he does follow up right after with being much more responsive and attentive when the baby toddles away from him, so it feels like it’s going to be okay)

also the ‘boo-ap’ sound is there again when he’s trying to get din’s attention. just sayin’ 

when din comes over to see the footprints baby makes a declarative little meep like ‘see??? I did tell you!’ haha

- it is very funny that mando is using all his technology meant to track down dangerous bounties in the grungy depths of the criminal underworld... to find a naked lady just chillin’ in a hot spring 

- 

cue the ‘father is evil?’ memes fsadfda. actually the funniest thing about this moment (apart from the fabulous finger acting) is that din actually snatches a few eggs out of the baby’s reach more subtly right before, and that baby only whines for ALL OF ONE SECOND before he goes to sniff around for other food possibilities fkadfhjkds. from my experience with human children he’s a lot less prone to tantrums. yodito doesn’t get mad, he gets even 

- baby running towards din through the hatching spiderlings like ‘DAD I FUCKED UUUUUUP’, din’s little strangled ‘ngh’ sound as he picks the baby up and watches all the creepy crawlies come out... *chef kiss* impeccable 

(that little ‘ngh’ and the soft shocked ‘ah ah AH!’s from when he goes flying at the beginning of the episode... pedro pascal and his voice work for this character gives me so much life. in some ways din has this sort of dignity and grace and in other ways he uh extremely doesn’t. he gets to be cool but also vulnerable in ways a lot of male main characters don’t and it’s probably why I love him so much) 

btw here is that moment when din moves to hold the baby tightly against him with both hands as the big spider appears, because it gets me right in the heart... it such an instinctive thing of holding on to the dearest thing you’ve got before something bad is about to happen

fdsafhsdakjlfhsdkjlhfsdajhf oh my god the baby is clutching din’s finger with his little hand during the chase!!!! 😭😭😭

this FUCKING SHOW has just WEAPONIZED putting in small details everywhere to convey the love and tenderness and attachment felt by a little muppet doll even where only weirdos like me will frame by frame their way through the video to see it I am so MAD

- frog lady going ‘fuck this’ and bounding along is  e v e r y t h i n g 

- din is an amazing shot, though, he doesn’t seem to miss a single one in this whole scene (then again there’s something to shoot at basically everywhere one can take aim so lol)

-

baby hiding behind/half hugging din’s boot as he tries to get the doors closed hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can’t breathhhhheeeee 

honestly every single one of the baby’s proximity seeking behaviours in this ep has me on my knees 

- it’s very unfair to play the heroic happy mando music like everything is going to be fine and then have a huge fuck-off spider drop down from the ceiling and break it off mid-tune, the mandalorian, you have trained me in certain ways and now do you betray me??? how can I trust again

- the camera work in the scene with the new republic guys gives such a good sense of the discomfort of being judged from on high by someone or something you can’t really see -- the glare of the lights blocking out everything in the shots from din’s pov makes it feel like a tense interrogation (the new republic dude who is actually dave filoni has such a look of fondness as he watches din tho it’s kind of sweet)

- ...oh no I think baby was actually considering munching on that dismembered spider leg YODITO NO JUST EAT YOUR KRAYT DRAGON BABY

- hngh this is a weird filler episode and it has my entire heart. I suspect we might get some episodes of a more stationary baby between active ones like this -- you can tell a little bit in this episode that especially having him running around fast is quite difficult to have look natural, they likely save that effort up for when it best serves the narrative  

[fandom-sheep]

Eret 11 MAY 21

Cat and DSMP Part 1/1

Cat! Goose!

Goose my beloved.

Eret’s streaming very late for me again. So I’m not staying the whole time.

Hello Elaina. Enjoy Goose.

Fundy! Kinda...

Fundy hearing the donations. LOL.

Fundy enters a stream and it starts to scuffed. Scuffed just follows Fundy wherever he goes.

A wild my beloved on the cube.

The Drista stairs.

Wait what. Why is the tower gone?

I have missed some lore.

Ah... it’s part of the nightmare thing.

Eret offering Fundy housing like a good almost adoptive parent.

Sneeze? OH WOW SNEEZE.

Sounds like Fundy about lost a lung. Good gracious.

The bargaining between these two.

Cat, Handsome, said cube was massive

You know what that works.

It’s hard to keep the audio right for Eret’s stream for my headphones. It’s either too quiet or the loudest my headphones can go and my family can hear it.

On stream explosions. Noice.

Wow youtooz. Not super cool. Permission is usually a good thing.

Eret keeps on sizzling.

Getting dirt for scaffolding. Going old fashioned Minecraft for this.

“Why is the Cube kinda hot” cue Eret losing faith in her chats sanity.

Cube go poof.

Oh. Red stone. That’s dangerous.

I like this song. Oh klahoma. Gorgeous song.

Love joy is such a fun band. I want to make a plushy of the cat.

It’s kinda sad that Eret can’t see themselves the way chat and their little fandom sees them. Most all of us think they look fabulous.

Not Arson. Just bombing. A bit of anarchy by the king.

Demolition. Now there’s the word.

Controlled ish demolition.

Ah I’ve almost saved enough channel points for water. Nice. I’m not going to redeem it I’m just going to keep hoarding the points.

Flame Arrow. Nice.

Eret cleaning up the SMP eye sours.

Watch me attempt to sleep to Eret here in an hour or so, but keep getting distracted.

Explosion time.

Someone get ready to clip it.

Bye Bye Cube. Let’s go.

Gotta get a song that fits the vibe.

Hayloft. Time to go poof.

Turning up my brightness just to watch this explosion in the best way possible.

Still wearing the red dress I see.

I hope the music isn’t too loud to get this part muted.

Drum roll...

Drum roll continues...

Drum roll still going...

THERE GOES THE CUBE!

That was so smooth and good looking!

Overall a very good explosion.

Just a little bit of a hole in the other building.

Twitch Pr-

Poor being’s so confused with his hair. Someone help them.

Twitch bleep.

Everyone attempting to give hair styling advice. Everyone’s trying to help the being.

That bird is majestic. I remember seeing that tiktok.

Animals just decided Eret was the animal whisperer.

Yes! Disney Princess Eret fanart! Someone make it, I shall reblog all of it.

Likes to hug cute animals and cute animals like being hugged by her. Nice.

It’s alright. Names are difficult. I have to like put name tags on people to learn who they are. That or name tags on their space (like on campers bunks and door decs on dorms)

It does feel very February. But I’m very ready for summer because that means I get to do my favorite job.

Hooray. I hit 15k points.

Eret trying to prove to us a ponytail won’t work. Like we aren’t going to hype them up no matter what.

Gotta heart in the chat. All Eret’s chat does is hearts and encourage. It’s a lovely place.

Oh Eret forgot his cat ear sub goal. It’s alright I know I forgot.

Pride is next month. Nice.

Oh. We’re almost halfway already. Why does the world spin so quickly?

We forgot a dirt tower. Whoops.

I would wear Eret merch. I like it when people release merch around Christmas. Then I can ask for it as a gift.

Oh it wasn’t a dirt tower.

Just looking at Elaina’s stream in the stream selection screen it like very cozy.

All the way up the Drista stairs.

Look it’s the museum!

Eret’s got most of the builds around there. The museum. The fortress. Nice.

Some things are too historical to remove. Somethings are historical because they are being removed.

Oh no. L’sandburg.

It’s taking over the summer home.

Ah the lore is coming. It just seemed to be too early.

Hello unofficial ranboo Raiders.

Foolish making the awesome tall thingy!

Foolish’s builds are so neat. I want to watch Foolish’s streams more. Maybe just in the background but I start wanting to delayed liveblog and that requires attention.

Oh the giant portal turned out well. Sorry that was the lady’s foolish stream I watched.

Shulkers. The forbidden mob.

Eret with just a pit in the desert filled with llamas. Bones. And discus.

The mansion has been finished?

Alright is better than bad. It’s alright to be alright.

Lucky being not getting tired. I got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine and I was so so tired. I also had just no appetite.

Eret doing an smp tour. And looking at foolish’s builds.

Flickering the switch on the rainbow beacons.

Eret just knowing where everything is.

Kinoko is super pretty. Just for the aesthetic value of the kingdom I appreciate it.

Yeet. Just defenestrated himself out the window.

Oh? Spectator fly over the smp?

That would be really neat to like. Watch in VR. I think I’ve only used VR maybe twice.

Pretty Rainbow beacons.

The nurse who gave me my vaccine hid the needle from me because I mentioned to her that I was afraid of needles. It wasn’t a big deal at all.

30 minutes till I attempt sleep. Woo.

Goose my beloved. Someone make the gif because I’m not quite sure how to make it.

Oh yeah. Goose in Marvel. I hear MCU and think Minecraft cinematic universe. Not marvel.

Ghibli is so nice. It really romanticize small moments of life.

Yeah the characters are all really supportive in Ghibli movies.

Someone subbed for nine months “that’s enough to make a child” -Eret

That mansion is like a maze. I’m so lost already.

Everyone encouraging Eret and telling her she looks pretty. Good.

Eret needs all the hype and encouragement.

Antarctic empties flag. Yeah it does have a similar color pallet.

Michelle! Hello!

Fortress work. Nice.

Do it. I’ll listen the Eret play other games.

I don’t usually watch game play for non Minecraft games. But I’ll listen to it all.

Hbomb and Eret living in the same city feels like two worlds that shouldn’t meet. But it’s awesome that they have.

TOS means against twitches terms of service. Nice. Glad to finally have an explanation of what that means.

Look at our handsome and pretty streamer. All the hype.

I keep turning down the stream to hear the show my mama has on because I’m curious about what happens.

Yeah. Backseat gaming can be annoying. That’s part of why I share my thoughts here just in case I do start backseat gaming.

Almost to the sub goal. Hooray!

Ooo food.

No no. I see where they are coming from. Eret does give a bit of cat bus vibes. I can’t explain it but the vibes are there.

Creeper causing issues at the fortress.

Ed Sheepran my beloved.

I should draw more ferrets. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe I’ll draw us doing stuffs.

Actually I kinda want to make a little animatic of some heels walking across the screen followed by a hoard of ferrets. I think it’ll look cool. But I need the artistic ability and the ability to not scream making that.

Woop. Ad time. Off to the void of where ever the ads game me.

OH THE NEW VOID LOOKS COOL!

Bread. Flowers. Ted. Crown. And of course Eret.

We V O I D and get our streamer bits.

Hush the chat is V O I D and the occasional emoji or emote.

The void being centered looks good. Maybe that’s just the symmetry speaking but it’s good.

Oh. We hear the being. The being in void mode. And spooky mode.

Chat just starts yelling corpse.

Hydration. I try to stay hydrated. But I fail often if I’m not doing something active.

Tree!

Casually makes and snags tree.

Eret does read chat often. It’s strange. And it is weird how often it ends up being you.

You can tell I’m a tumblr peep. I may say stuff in chat but I’m fully not expecting or wanting to be noticed by the streamer.

Others hitting darkness o’clock and saying goodnight.

It’s sleep to the stream hours y’all. Whoop.

I need to visit the parks out west. I’ve only really seen the eastern US ones. But I have been to the Great Smokey Mountain park which is gorgeous.

Eret thinking of his friends triggers when naming his cat.

Eret’s builds are so casually pretty. Not like Foolish’s which are intricately pretty. Not like Phil’s or Sam’s which are complicated pretty. All pretty. Just different breeds of pretty.

Alrighty. It’s sleepy hours for me. As much as I love Eret I want to read some fanfiction and daydream a bit before I head to sleep.

Have a good rest everyone and may all your coming meals be delicious.

Wait no is it our turn with goose?

OUR TURN WITH GOOSE!

Eret honey that’s the ceiling.

Cat stream. Cat stream.

Sleepy kitty. A cat cam would be good.

Yeah. That happens with cats. Especially strays.

Goose captured the computer mouse.

Goose straight up chose Eret and Elaina.

Goose really just chose not to leave.

Oh my stream connection is acting sad. But I want Goose content.

I want to draw Goose now.

Maybe I’ll do water color for Goose. I know I tried to do that with Boots (Fundy’s cat)

Hopefully there will be some Goose face screenshots I can see. Maybe I can see him well in the Tiktok.

Artists just violently refusing payment. Sounds about right. The MCYT artists just kinda go “yeah give credit and we cool”

Cowboy cat. Nice.

I want to paint Goose in the cowboy hat.

Hype train! That we are zooming.

Bucket sponge?

WATER BUCKET FROM WET SPONGE! Tiktok people giving all the cool info.

Go Goose. Catch the computer mouse and the screen mouse.

Just sitting here at 11:30 at night getting screen shots of Goose for painting purposes.

Goose please. Look at the camera babe.

My phone is dying. And I can’t charge it and type.

Alright the camera is off the cat. The cat is also blocking the screen.

But no cat on camera means I’m getting some sleep. If I do any of the projects I’ve mentioned I’ll let y’all know.

Have a good rest everyone.

[sinner-as-saint]

Hi Sebnation.

There's a bunch to talk about. Also, this is long. Feel free to not care at all. And again, this is just my opinion (cue that vine). Feel free not to agree as well.

First of all, I love you. All of you. My little army of sin pots/hyenas/whatever you wanna be! I know it sounds a little cheesy but you guys have been so much more than just "followers" and numbers, you've been my little family. MY tumblr people.

And even though I'm not talking about it, or answering any asks regarding it - I am well aware of all the tension and the drama and the disturbing and hateful things that are being said and done in the fandom.

I agree that certain someone has acted carelessly, and has even done the exact opposite of what they preached early on during the pandemic. I understand the heavy criticism there, for that. But then, the criticism turned into serious hate and threats. It has gotten to a point where our fandom has turned into nothing but a toxic pit of hate and hurtful words.

Personally, ever since the beginning, for me this space has always been an escape. A place where I can freely share my hobby with others who happen to be in the same fandom as me. Again, MY people. Anon, or non anon, hate has always been here. But it never used to matter. Because at the end of the day, one of you would always make me smile with a sweet and loving message.

Yet now, it's gotten to a point where I have to think twice or even refrain from open Tumblr because I know for a fact that there will be messages and asks waiting for me regarding "seb and his gf drama" or what i think about "seb not wearing a mask and roaming around" or how I'm "blind and selfish" for continuing to support "a man like seb." Now before you assume that I'm okay with him not wearing a mask or not social distancing - I AM NOT. JUST CAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN "CANCELLING" HIM OR HATING ON HIM DOESN'T MEAN THAT I DON'T CARE. I'm just choosing not to focus on it because I have enough problems, tension, and drama in my actual life.

But what's surprising is that, all I'm seeing left and right is people tearing him apart and dissecting his relationship, always looking for flaws. But nothing, no relationship, no one is perfect.

You want to call seb out for not wearing a mask? Alright, I agree. You're absolutely right. You wanna call him out because he's traveling during a pandemic? I agree again, you're right. You wanna call him out on not social distancing like he should? Again, you're right. But his relationship? That's none of our business.

What I'm trying to say is, I understand people's anger towards his carelessness, let's call it that. I understand how you feel when someone you look up to is taking something so serious, so lightly. I understand that some people feel a little jealous or what not that he's no longer single now. I understand the hate seb is getting now. It's justified to a large extent, I agree.

But lately it feels as though that's all this is. Like that's all this fandom (sebnation) is. A pit where nothing but hate and insults and cancel culture is brewing altogether like a poison. It's heartbreaking to see the once incredibly amazing fandom which gave me so many friends, turn into something so negative.

I, once again (for all those who think I'm a fucking monster for not hating on seb) am not saying that seb is a perfect little angel who's done no wrong. He has, alright. I agree that he's being careless, and he's not the only one. But what some of us are doing/saying under the pretense of being a 'caring fan calling out his mistakes' is just terrible.

And as a content creator, this is heartbreaking. This whole marvel fandom gave me so much. Friends, a platform to share my hobby, an escape - it soon became my favorite thing. Now it just a heavy hot mess.

Regarding the blocking "fans" on IG, well, I completely agree that that was rather odd. But also, the fandom has no right being this nosy and bringing up stuff from 2 years ago. Anyone can change in 2 years. Besides, we don't know these people personally. Then again, no one is perfect I guess.

I'm not urging anyone to blindly support someone's mistakes and carelessness. You are a 100% allowed to point out someone's mistakes, but it can surely be done without death threats, hate, interfering in their personal lives and cancel culture. At least let's try and make this space, this fandom a better place for us; rather than it just being a seething cauldron of toxicity and hate.

I don't know how to end this rant. A friend said all this will pass. And all the drama and all the hate will eventually die out. I just hope the fandom doesn't die out with it.

Take care everyone. Be kind.

[caithyra]

A lot of people claim Kagura (and by extension her "siblings") was a full demon, but am I alone in thinking that she was always a half-demon/hanyo because she was an incarnation of Naraku, who was also a half-demon?

First a disclaimer: I view Naraku’s incarnations very different from the rest of fandom, like I do with most things in this manga.

Naraku’s incarnations fans might not like my interpretation... Oh, and it only pertains to the manga.

TL;DR: They are likely as yokai as Sesshomaru’s severed arm. Except Muso. (Skip to the bottom of this post if you want the elaborated, quick answer of my interpretation and then the probable canon answer, which is different. I just have an interpretation of canon that I haven’t seen anyone else suggest before that...)

Anyway, first we are going to go through what Naraku is before he creates his incarnations:

Onigumo, a human, who is devoured by a yokai horde that becomes Naraku.

Naraku is then a hanyo capable of absorbing other yokai and their power, which he presumably does a few times before he tries something as big as absorbing a daiyokai like Sesshomaru (which he fails at), given his attempt at Sesshomaru, we can presume that at least a few of these yokai were powerful even if they were not daiyokai, since going from lesser yokai to greater yokai without anyone inbetween is very foolhardy, given how weak Naraku was at the time (he also used manipulations mostly during this time).

So up to the point that the manga starts, Naraku is a mostly yokai hanyo made up of literally hundreds of yokai of various powers and strengths.

Then, before he begins creating incarnations Naraku is nearly killed by Kagome (this is an important part of my interpretation) and cannot restore himself without turning towards a dark type of magic called kodoku.

Kodoku is a magical ritual/art called “gu/ku” in Chinese in which various toxic creatures are put into an enclosed space to absorb one another until only one remains. This remaining creature (also called Gu/Ku/Kodoku) is considered supremely toxic and powerful and with various abilities such as pestilence, manipulation (Naraku/Kanna/Infant?), transformation (Naraku), and a number of other things that falls well within Naraku’s sphere of power.

Anyway, Naraku absorbs the kodoku and is restored, and also made up of even more different kinds of yokai. And he holds a large chunk of the empowering Shikon no Tama, courtesy of Kikyo.

And that’s when he begins creating incarnations (分身 - bunshin).

That word, bunshin, is a funny thing. In Naruto, it is the “clone” part in Clone Techniques (such as Kage Bunshin/Shadow Clone which Naruto uses all the time), and as a common word, has been used in many manga/anime/games.

Here’s the definition of Jisho.org for example:

ぶんしん 分身 common word Noun 1. other self; alter ego; part of oneself (in someone or something else); representation of oneself 2. (Buddhist term) incarnations of Buddha​

Kotobank.jp translates it into “double/doppelgänger” and has this to say:

1. One divided into two or more separate bodies. 2. (Buddhist term, similar to above.)

But basically, a bunshin is not a separate person from what they are a bunshin of most of the time in pop culture (or they are re/pre/incarnations like in Buddhism, but no one suggests Kagura is to Naraku what Kagome is to Kikyo, so... *shrugs* Lets got with the other definition!). They always exist in relation to the original (Naraku). Other translations simply call them detachments, which has the implication of parts of Naraku that he’s cut off and given life for his own purposes.

I will be skipping Muso since he is an aberration among the bunshin, and likely the most hanyo of the lot.

The first bunshin Naraku creates is Kanna, who has no will, no emotions and no drive of her own. She solely does Naraku’s bidding, no more, no less. (There is a sole exception of her death scene, but that was more to inform the heroes of Kikyo’s light, which curtails with how the story began bending to fit Kikyo as a tragic heroine... Don’t even get me started...)

Then he creates Kagura, who is the opposite extreme; freedom is her greatest aspiration and she continuously backtalks Naraku and tries to act against him, yet, in the end, everything goes as Naraku wants when it comes to Kagura (this is also important).

Lets look at these two extremes and lets pretend that these are not Naraku’s incarnations; they are toasters.

Kanna is the toaster that Naraku must put the perfect settings in every time before use and push the toast down with a lever. Then he must wait and push the eject button, because Kanna wont do it herself.

Kagura is the fancy toaster with all the bells and whistles and more settings than anyone needs, including sensors to tell when the perfect toast is done to be ejected. She even automatically lowers the toast into the toasting slots when you put them in. In theory, Naraku doesn’t need to do anything else; Kagura knows exactly what to do to make the toast Naraku wants. Except fancy gadgets like these malfunctions and are temperamental and has the wrong settings put in and, yeah, Kagura doesn’t want to make Naraku’s perfect toast, but Naraku has rigged a big, complicated Rube-Goldberg machine to push her eject button before she can irreparably burn his toast, so it doesn’t matter.

All the different incarnations are on a sliding scale of these, except for Hakudoshi, who is an even fancier version of Kagura and capable of making grilled cheese sandwiches, and what more, Naraku wants Hakudoshi to burn some of his toast, because of the risk/reward that one day, Hakudoshi will not burn Naraku’s toast, but instead will make the perfect grilled cheese sandwich for Naraku to enjoy.

Byakuya, by contrast, is the perfect blend of obedient Kanna and the ability to make tedious decisions and act on his own like Kagura.

It’s like with computer programs; some require a dozen clicks to complete a task, another, that has been further programmed (given personality and motivation), only require one.

In short, I do not see them as separate people from Naraku, which is where I diverge from most of fandom; they have no pupils, which are signs of possession/not having their own minds in many anime, which is also a yokai trait (like Koga), but is egregious when it comes to everything else. It should be noted that most of Naraku’s bunshin are obedient to Naraku, but that in order to arrive to the perfect blend of independent action plus unquestioning obedience that is Byakuya, he experimented with giving more or less free will, individual desires and so on.

And it was Kagura who led me to believe that:

First; she is given the appearance of “Sesshomaru’s ideal woman” according to Takahashi who believes that all men want Kikyo or someone like her (”Sesshomaru’s ideal type of woman” is “like Kikyo” according to her according to some interview I’ve seen quoted around, but I would like an actual source, please...), including Sesshomaru, so she makes Kagura a young woman like Kikyo named after a dance that miko, like Kikyo, dance.

Second; she is given a sympathetic motivation “freedom” but at no point do we get a clue as to how she feels about “freedom” other than something to attain. She does not daydream about it or what she will do with it, she does not envy others’ freedom overtly (nor resentfully watching them), there’s literally nothing except her nebulously wanting “freedom” being “the free wind” when she passes away.

Third; she is obviously and loudly antagonistic towards Naraku, and, indeed he, the great villain, holds her heart literally in his hand to torture her with. Don’t you want to save her? Give this pretty lady freedom?

Fourth; she really wants Sesshomaru to save her, despite the fact that Sesshomaru has never come close to killing Naraku and always refuses to save Kagura.

Fifth; but when Kagome, the only person to ever come close to killing Naraku in the entire series at this point, offers to protect Kagura, Kagura refuses and still goes to Sesshomaru. Even though Kagome is not just the person whose power Naraku fears, but also someone with a history of taking in her foes as friends (unlike Sesshomaru).

Sixth; Tenseiga did not even react to Kagura “dying”.

None of this makes sense, unless one thinks of Kagura as a part of Naraku that he has “programmed” specifically to mess with Sesshomaru. In that case, Kagura refusing Kagome’s protection while still being infatuated with Sesshomaru who refuses to do anything and has proven nothing as her supposed savior, and the lack of psychopomps at her death and Tenseiga having no reaction, makes sense if Kagura is little more than something like a living tentacle of Naraku’s, given a pretty face, personality and “programming” to go hard for Sesshomaru and then, use her final moment to upset him (by this time, everyone knows Sesshomaru’s complex with his father’s swords, so if his sword wont work when predictably would he ask it to... Cue upset Sesshomaru. Too bad Inu no Taisho did one up on Naraku on that front by ensuring Inuyasha got the Meido after Sesshomaru and Rin nearly died in front of Sesshomaru’s mother for Sesshomaru to get it... Naraku’s manipulations got nothing on InuPapa’s beyond the grave...).

It would explain her undeveloped motivation (the abstract “freedom”), why everything still goes as Naraku wishes despite a few hiccups and so on, and, of course, why she had no soul for Tenseiga to save...

Naraku might as well have told Kanna “fall in love with Sesshomaru and plead with him to give you freedom” and Kanna would do her best to obey, but because of her non-personality, the emotional manipulation would be obvious (even more so once she refused Kagome, since, after all, it is Sesshomaru who is to give her freedom). But Naraku would have to micromanage her extensively to do so as well as make her a mature body. Far easier to just create a new detachment with slightly more free will and so on with the “programming” installed.

Does Kagura know this? Maybe she suspected it by being around her “siblings” and noting how different their levels of sapience/sentience/free wills were (and she even tells Hakudoshi that his plans will come to naught because Naraku wont allow it, suggesting she believes Naraku’s will is absolute over the incarnations), but she probably felt like her own person, and would have been “programmed” to think of herself as such and dismiss any suspicions to the contrary.

It would fit very well with the body-horror aspect of early Inuyasha and Naraku’s character as a whole. But would also be a bit too much for a children’s comic magazine in an action series...

So what are Naraku’s incarnations on the human-yokai scale?

They are likely yokai, like Sesshomaru’s severed arm, with the exception of Muso who had Naraku’s most human part in him and would likely be considered hanyo on a DNA test. They were likely made from the yokai parts of the hordes that make up Naraku after the kodoku, but aren’t separate people (like, the parts of a crane yokai would have been used to create Byakuya, for example, while oni parts would have been used for Goshinki). They are just more advanced dolls made of purely yokai parts IMO.

But that’s just my extremely niche interpretation of the manga and the inconsistencies with the story.

In canon, it is much more likely that the simpler explanation; that they are separate people who are also yokai (except Muso), is the answer.

I just don’t like the inconsistencies it creates within the story and made my own interpretation and rambled on and on in this post. Sorry.

[sleepykalena]

Alternate First-Meeting AU WIP Snippet

So on a whim I started working on a fic in a “Mixtape” series I’d been planning out since I joined the fandom, in which I write fics based on songs that remind me of rebelcaptain in one way or another. I’d been working on this sentence by sentence whenever I hit a roadblock in writing Parka, and now I have enough for a post-able snippet for one of the fics in the series:

Cassian approached the dance room, intending to peer through the narrow window, but he didn't need to look inside to know it was occupied. With the heavy bass rattling against the door, he had a rough idea as to who was in there.

And if he could have it his way, he'd kick her out by now.

It was odd, however- the beats were heavy and the music loud, but there was nary a foot scrape or stomp to be heard.

He decided to peek inside after all, wondering if maybe she left the room without turning off the sound system. Instead, he found her flat on the floor, staring aimlessly at the ceiling.

This is ridiculous, Cassian thought exasperatedly, but he had to be mindful of his manners- what Cassian would do was vastly different than what Willix would do. So, slowly, Willix opened the door and rapped his knuckles on the wall, just loud enough for the sound to cut through the music.

"I'm practicing," the girl managed to deadpan through the beefy baseline.

"No you aren't," Cassian wanted to say, but he suppressed the urge to act out-of-character.

"How much longer do you have the room?" he asked instead as Willix, though it was a formality at this point- they both knew that she had overstayed her booking, and that anyone else could have dibs on practice time.

"For the rest of the night," she lied, as if that was actually going to work on him.

"Is there room for both of us?" he tried again.

"Haahn, get out," the girl insisted, but he couldn't help but notice the dead boredom in her tone as she did so.

"Dawn, is it?" Willix asked after a beat. "You're Aryl Dawn."

"And you're Willix Haahn," she replied flatly.

"Oh, so you know me?"

"Who doesn't kriffing know who you are in this studio? That's why I want you to get out."

The apprehension wouldn't have fazed Cassian, but Willix was taken aback. "I'm sorry, did I do something mean to you?"

"You know damn well it's less about YOU and more about THEM and how much they like you."

"And you're taking it out on me because...?"

"You're an obstacle."

So the feeling is mutual, Cassian thought wryly.

"Aryl," sighed Willix. "You've been in the practice room for how many hours now?"

"Not enough."

"I need to practice too- the showcase isn't far from now."

"Oh, good, so you understand why I need to keep using the dance room," Aryl countered, finally getting up to shoo him out. "You're so thoughtful, Haahn-"

But Cassian wasn't going to let her have her way so easily. With trained reflexes, he grabbed Aryl's wrist as she tried to push him away and raised it up to pull her closer, almost as if he were bringing her in for a dance. With his other hand, he tenderly traced an index finger along her jaw, until it made its way to her chin, and tilted her face up as he got closer, closer...

He stopped short, the tip of his nose nearly touching hers, and their breaths mingled, as the air around them grew thicker with each passing second.

"Surely there's space enough for two, then?" he offered, making sure to lower his voice to the same sultry growl that helped him get noticed in the first place.

Aryl stood frozen, staring into his eyes the whole time. They drifted away from his gaze, exploring his face before landing on his lips.

Cassian had practiced this charm to perfection. It’s gotten him so far in this mission. Indeed, Aryl is known as the statuesque trainee, but even statues can crumble. His sweet smile and intensely intimate gaze were just the first steps to chipping away at the foundation.

But she didn't budge.

"Your whole kindness act...it's clever," she observed.

Now it was Cassian's turn to scan her face- was she smirking at him?

"It's a shame that all you know is acting," Aryl added, and soon the smirk became a sneering dagger sinking slowly into his ego. "You put all your eggs in that basket- your one claim to fame- yet for some reason you failed to think about whether or not I'd slither in and crush them all."

Cassian's heart began to race. Surely she was throwing bantha fodder at him, right? Was this not the right technique to use on her? Had Willix met his match?

...Had Cassian finally met his?

Aryl yanked her wrist out of his grip to dig a finger into his chest, letting her nail sink in as she pushed firmly back.

"Let me make myself crystal clear, Haahn,” she hissed. “Only one soloist will get selected to debut this year, whether we like it or not, so I don't give two shits if you need to use the dance room. I've worked my way up from literal dirt, and you can bet your kriffing ass that I'm not about to let some pretty wonderboy from Fest use Basic flirting methods to drag me back down."

"Back down”?

The hairs on Cassian's neck stood on their ends. There was something visceral about the way her words had a bite to them, and it was in this moment that he really, truly got a glimpse of Aryl Dawn at her core:

Whichever trainee first called her a statue was wrong.

She wasn't a statue, no.

She was an unrelenting flame.

Rather than stiffly staying still, she forged on, willing to take down anything in her way. Indeed, Aryl was a force that threatened to burn everything down.

But as Cassian remembered how her wrist felt, the way his fingers so easily encircled the bones, he wondered if she was aware that she was at risk for burning herself as well.

A smile crept up on his face.

"I guess my charm isn't one-size-fits-all," Willix chuckled, trying to recover from his momentary lapse in character. Cassian refused to let Aryl be his undoing. "Alright, you can have the dance room tonight, whether you're dancing in it or not. We'll see in a few weeks if all that practice actually worked."

Aryl's eyes darkened. Excellent; right on cue.

Willix winked as he turned on his heels and headed out with a light wave.

As Cassian shut the door behind him and headed back to his dorm, the walls of the hallway started to swirl. He hissed through gritted teeth, pinching the bridge of his nose to ease the sudden nausea. But before he could even think about trying to steady himself, his stomach growled and churned. Weakly, he lurched forward and leaned on the nearest wall for support.

Had it been that long since his last meal? Come to think, the sun was still high in the sky when he had...what was it, a bun? It probably was.

The pain was scrunching him up, leaving him breathless.

"Practice. Study. Read," he huffed, reciting the words of his to-do list to focus his vision and stop the entire world from drilling his head into the ground.

"Practice."

Breathe in, then out.

"Study."

Slowly, the aches in his body began to fade.

"Read."

Breathe in, then out.

"Debut."

The spinning walls began to slow, finally coming to rest as stable pillars.

"Rebel."

Breathe in, then out.

…Hope.

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

True Winchester Fashion | Adam Milligan x Reader (Oneshot?)

Prompt: Meet Cute

Fandom: Supernatural

Warnings: Mentions of gore, minor swearing, only brief fluff because Winchesters can’t catch a break

Words: 1643

A/N: This was supposed to be fluffy, why am I like this? I haven’t caught up with SPN, all I know from S15 is Adam’s brief appearance. This is another idea I had way before S15, revised to fit his current situation, of how they would bring back Adam again in my vain hope of him recurring more often.

-

The bar wasn’t exactly your thing, but your friends wanted to celebrate the end of the grueling final exams and teased you for being boring. All you wanted to do was borrow your neighbor’s netflix account and relax with a tub of ice cream. They weren’t having it and were determined to get you laid. You were determined to make sure they don’t get in trouble and drive them home.

Three shots in and your little group had already attracted unwanted attention. Three guys at the billiards table kept glancing at your group, whispering among each other while smirking and laughing. You only hoped that they’d keep their distance, but that may be wishful thinking.

“Hey, we’re going to the bathroom,” one of your friends said, “Can you watch our drinks?”

“Of course,” you said.

They swung an arm around each other’s neck and made their way towards the heavily graffitied restrooms, dodging other patrons on their way in. You sighed, wondering how many bottles they were going to drink before they called it a night. It was a pain to clean up their vomit from your backseat last time. A price to pay for being the designated driver.

From the corner of your eye, you could see those three guys putting down their pool cue sticks and making their way towards the bar area. You let out a shaky breath, glancing back at the bathroom doors for your friends.

“Hey, is this seat taken?” You turned and saw a man with a pair of familiar hazel eyes standing next to you. He smiled. “I’m Adam, by the way.”

“I know. We had a few classes together,” you said, briefly looking away to hide how flustered you were at his sudden appearance. “You borrowed my notes for Micro lab once.”

“Yeah, (Y/n), right?” You nodded. “Let me return the favor and make sure that the three little piggies over there don’t bother you.”

You sighed in relief. “Thank you.”

Adam hopped onto the stool next to you and ordered a beer. “So, got any plans for the break?”

“Not really. Mostly work. You?”

He sighed. “I was hoping to visit family, but they haven’t answered any of my calls. Must be a busy year for them with the whole… family business thing.”

“Family business? What does your family do?”

“Uh,” he paused, taking a swig of his beer.

He could still say they were hunters, but he didn’t want to go off on a tangent of what they hunt. Once, he had to deal with someone’s rant about the ethics of hunting animals and while he knew you, he didn't know you enough to know whether you’d do that. He looked down at the bottle and found an answer.

“Brewing. My family owns a brewing company. Winchester and Milligan, or W and M. It’s small, but it’s something.” He shook his head and pointed his bottle at you. “What about you?”

“I work at the library,” you said with a shrug, “Boring, I know.”

Adam shook his head. “No, not boring at all. Is it the public library?”

“Museum library, actually.”

“Even cooler!” You looked down bashfully, shaking your head at him. “It’s true!”

You and Adam chatted for almost half an hour when you realized that your friends were taking too long. You frowned, checking your phone for any messages and found none. Adam could sense your distress, but you excused yourself to go and check on them in the bathroom.

Passing two couples in a heavy makeout session, you squeezed your way to the bathroom, calling out the names of your friends. They weren’t at the sinks, so you made your way towards the stalls, looking out for their shoes. Halfway down, you found a sight that made your stomach churn. A scream was stuck in your throat as you shakily opened the stall door.

There was a high pitched noise, then it went dark.

Everyone near the bathrooms heard the scream, but no one dared to move. Adam cursed under his breath rushing over and bursted through the door. He found you collapsed on the sticky floor next to a pool of blood. He checked you for a pulse, which was faint, and if you had any injuries. Seeing that you had only fainted, he gently propped you up against the wall and stood to investigate the blood. It was one of your friends slumped over the toilet seat, neck viciously ripped open, lifeless eyes left wide open.

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered. His brothers better answer their damn phones this time.

-

In true Winchester fashion, when one case is finally closed, another one opens up. They had done a full day of well earned rest when their little brother called them, sending several text messages when they didn’t answer. It wasn’t how they wanted to reunite with him, but that was just how it was going to be.

They rolled up to the bar, red and blue lighting up the parking lot. An ambulance was parked on the side with what looked to be a college student wrapped in a blanket sitting at the back being examined by medics.

Sam and Dean flashed their badges and were allowed to pass the police tape. Tucking their badges away, they spotted Adam next to the ambulance talking to one of the medics. They nodded at him, making their way towards the sheriff to get the formalities out of the way.

“According to those two kids there,” the sheriff said, gesturing to Adam and the college student before leading Sam and Dean into the bar, “Their friends had gone to the bathroom and didn’t come out for almost half an hour. One went to check on them and fainted and I don’t blame them. You might want to brace yourselves for this one, agents.”

“Trust me, in our line of work, nothing surprises us,” Dean said with a smirk.

Adam watched his brothers go before turning back to you. The medics had cleared you, saying that you were still in shock but you were okay to leave. He led you away from the ambulance, replacing the blanket with his jacket.

“Don’t worry, (Y/n), they’ve got this covered,” he assured you.

You remained silent, still trying to come to terms with what had happened to your friend and wondering what kind of monster would have done this. There was also the fact that your other friend was missing from the scene and could not be contacted. It all happened so fast, how could this have happened in less than an hour with no one noticing?

You didn’t realize how long you were just standing there, spacing out, until Adam started speaking again. “I’m going to talk to the feds over there, okay? You’ll be okay, right?”

You nodded. He gave you a once over filled with concern, fixing his jacket over your shoulders before walking towards the towering federal agents that came to investigate. You blinked, a strange thought that they would pass as brothers. The agents looked over at you and gave you a polite smile and a nod of acknowledgement, then turned their attention back to Adam.

“They’re cute. Nice touch with the jacket,” Dean teased, “Look at our little bro carrying down the family legacy of being a casanova.”

Sam huffed out a laugh. “We’ll talk about his love life later,” he said, “What do you guys think?”

“Vampire?” Adam guessed, “Is messy toilet murder their M.O.?”

Sam shook his head. “Well, they usually try to be more discreet. It’s also possible that they’ve taken the friend back to their den. Did you notice anyone going in and out of the bathroom?”

“No, I-”

“He was probably busy chatting up his cute friend over there,” Dean said. Adam glared at him, earning a playful smirk in return and a slap on the shoulder. “I’ll go ask around for any more witnesses.”

“Hey,” Sam said, snapping Adam’s attention away from their older brother, “Let’s get this over with and we’ll catch up later, okay?”

Adam nodded, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, and, uh… (Y/n) is still in shock, so be careful with them.”

Sam suppressed a chuckle. “Dude, you realize how long we’ve been doing this gig? I know. We’ll see you later.”

You were holding Adam’s jacket tighter around you, the image of your friend in the bathroom engraved into your brain. They were just slumped over like a life size doll, the smell of iron and piss in the air, the loud rock music mixed with moans from the couples making out, it was all like a scene in a movie that you couldn’t believe you were in. There was no scream or ruckus or anything and suddenly they’re gone just like that.

One of the federal agents walked up to you, going through the usual greetings and then the questionings. You told him what you told the sheriff, doubting that it was going to be much help. Then, he started to ask questions that caught you off guard. If there were any disappearances in the last month, anyone you knew that started acting differently and particularly avoiding going outside. You answered with the best of your abilities before you were dismissed.

A coworker had heard what happened and came to pick you up, reassuring you that your car could be picked up the next morning. Before you climbed into her car, you looked around for Adam who seemed to have left already. Frowning, you put on his jacket properly before ducking in.

A shadow stood at the back of the bar, watching the car leave. The shadow remained where they were, watching the two federal agents until they left in their ‘67 Chevy Impala. They needed to report to the Alpha.

[shijiujun]

On Translations

Once again, I’m just plain incensed by dumbasses who think it’s okay to firstly, steal someone else’s hard work and secondly, think they’ve got some right to edit that person’s work because they think they’ve got a better grip on English (not true btw) - It didn’t happen to me (well, as far as I know) and I’m not in the Guardian fandom and I don’t personally know the person who’s dealing with this ridiculous shit, but oof am I angry after seeing the tweet.

Just saw on twitter that some asshole stole a translator’s works (Guardian, Chinese to English) and edited it - Yes it’s just like the MDZS saga a few weeks ago when some white person who doesn’t have any Chinese language knowledge, tried to ‘improve’ translations done by another person who actually knows what they’re doing in both Chinese and English - And then put in on Wattpad with a ridiculous letter and intro where they said: “Great things can be made greater” to explain why they edited the English of the original translation.

“Great things can be made greater,” said the thief.

“I hope my actions will be appreciated,” said the thief again.

Like wow, once again, the audacity - There’ve been extensive arguments on translations since the MDZS saga a few weeks ago and obviously the fan who took ExR’s translations and ‘made them better’ stupidly stepped on a landmine by fucking with the MDZS fandom that has a longer history, more resources and clout than the amount of time she’s been exposed to MDZS via CQL, and got bitch-slapped by the rest of the fandom where there exists a majority of fans knowing clearly what to do and not to do.

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said of all fandoms, especially smaller ones - The user i saw is a translator for Guardian and the mofo 1. Stole their translations 2. Edited the translations to ‘better english’ 3. Wrote that they don’t know who did the original translations but “they know where to find me” *cue my eyeroll* 4. And after op commented to say please credit at the very least in May, they’ve been ignored so far - but luckily they’ve got some supporters as well to help report the mofo.

Aside from the ridiculous thievery (not crediting, blatantly lying and stealing, being an arrogant, indecent person stuck on that high horse) of course, the “I believe that great things can be made greater” is a fucking load of bullshit in this instance, and I mean taking someone else’s translations and adding your own spin to it because you think you’ve taken tests in English as a first language in school all your life (fuck off, a lot of these translators did too), that you’ve got some superiority over English or because you think it reads funny?

Granted, most fan translators don’t put up flawless translations (once again, these translators are FREE LABOUR), but you get it for free and you don’t have to (and can’t) read the original text, so suck it up.

Moreover, the disgust that I feel at the claim that the thief’s work is now ‘greater’ is extremely visceral - It’s not a greater piece of work because the thief stole it, period. No one asked for the thief’s help.

(In case you guys are curious the stolen post on Wattpad is here: https://my.w.tt/7dehLj7D56 and if you’d like to report just follow the instructions)

On Chinese to English translations:

1. If you don’t have good grasp of the original language, you have no right editing the translated work after, regardless of language. Until you can clearly understand the original idioms, context, characters etc. or have at least lived with the language for a substantial part of your life, honestly, just stop, you’ve got no right! 

Sure, some translators aren’t as good as you like them to be, but the argument is always, well, you wouldn’t even have this minimal translation if they didn’t do it, so yay you’re like a few sentences and words closer to the text than you were before. If it’s really that bad, hopefully there are better translations and you can ignore the one you’re looking at, but the same rules apply across all translations!! Don’t disrespect the translator (especially when they’ve done nothing wrong except try to give you access to more content).

2. For Chinese, it’s even worse because the language is known for its hidden nuances and complexities within just two to four characters that, when translated into English, can sometimes take up to two long sentences to explain. That’s why sometimes shit reads funny. It’s not that these translators can’t do English, but Chinese to English acrobatics is beyond your comprehension, hell sometimes it’s beyond translators’ comprehension, so thanks for editing something you’ve got no idea about. This user Bee made a very good argument thread IMO about this on Twitter which I suggest people read

3. Adding your edits to a translated piece of work especially without permission or discussion with the translator, honestly who the fuck are you to do that? Either work your damn ass off by painstakingly translating the original and then editing it however you like, or just... enjoy the free content. Chinese BL novels (in this instance and as in many instances i’ve seen) and some of these translators have been around for longer than you’ve been in the fandom, so suddenly when you have an interest in the content, in a culture and language that you’ve never seen before, are unfamiliar with and have zero knowledge about, you think that as a fan you now have the right to edit someone else’s work that was already done correctly? 

The fact is if the translator wrote a bogus line in the English translations, you wouldn’t have known, and when you upload it as your own and ‘improve’ it, you would be a joke, but you didn’t read the original text did you, so what makes you are any sort of authority to edit the translations?

4. Of course this is not to say that non-Chinese speaking people can’t enjoy the same content or have excellent, poignant discussions and understanding over the content, but honestly a lot of translations don’t capture 100% of a Chinese novel because the nuances are just that complex, and translators do their best to convey it regardless - This is why RESPECT FOR THE TRANSLATOR IS IMPORTANT. And I don’t mean simply paying lip service and typing “we respect all translators for their hard work on this work”, and then disrespect it entirely by not crediting, by the simple act of editing without permission etc.

Respect their interpretation and translations, because it can differ from translator to translator translating the same sentence (and people who don’t speak the original language want to compete with that, I don’t understand?!)

5. Honestly, considering how people are still arguing on the semantics of the Bible for example, not only in its original language but also in English alone - if people can’t agree on every sentence of the holy text and what each sentence means to different people, fan translators get a fucking pass

6. I read in Bee’s threads where someone disagreed with their argument of ‘only people who understand the original language can translate and edit’, saying that it’s okay if the editor doesn’t have a grasp of the original language - I understand that yes, someone else’s English might truly be better (for e.g. actual editors but also please don’t proclaim that you’re one just because you think the translator hasn’t lived with English for most of their lives or whatever), but even then, the editor has to work really closely with the translator because the translator is the primary source of the translation i.e. they know exactly what is going on in a particular sentence in their heads that may not have been translated fully, so how can non-Chinese reading editors truly understand the translated text on its own, editing in silos?

7. Perhaps in actual publishing houses that deal with official translations, this is a fallacy that is ever-present and editors do that anyway without understanding the original text (not sure about this, I’m bringing up the point for consideration, hypothetically putting this out here), but my issue with ‘editors’ in the fan translations space is that they come off sitting on some high horse because they think they’re better in English than you are (which of course yes, might be true, but then read points 1-6 again)

8. A thief is a thief, don’t put up an open letter or disclaimer explaining your motivations. It’s plain and simple, you stole someone else’s work, claimed it for your own and are riding on the great (sometimes not so great but still great, if you get what I mean) work that the translator did. You don’t get to claim ownership for any part of it, even your edits. And once again, “original work belongs to the translators” without actually naming the translators? Fuck off.

9. God, I hate Wattpad and Instagram (okay sometimes Twitter but Twitter seems to be a halfway point) - The Sanctuaries for Lazy Content Thieves Where The Platform Endorses Their Shitty Behaviour

10. Aside from translations, I’ve also seen assholes stealing like shitposts and jokes - These are the hardest to prove as well and it’s almost impossible to claim ownership when someone steals your jokes. Thieves only wish they had as creative a brain as some of you (didn’t happen to me but to a mutual) do. The audacity. The audacity! if the work was actually done and paid and recorded, if TurnItIn.com was available for fandom posts, these thieves would be out of gas.

11. Fan translators are not obligated to answer to any of their readers when it comes to why they translated something a certain way. You don’t like it or don’t agree with it, simply ignore, close the tab and go find another translation you like, it’s that simple. Nowadays readers 1. Threaten/Diss the translator directly and rudely 2. Steal the work 3. Add their own spin on it without understanding the original content and say: Yay! Look at this I made it so much better so give me some attention 

*****

The point of this post is not to claim ownership over any fandom or content just because translators or Chinese-speaking/reading people in the fandom know the content better. It’s also not to say that non-Chinese speaking/reading people can’t enjoy, understand, have great discussions over original Chinese content, because just from MDZS alone you can see that they can. Of course there are also individuals who might not be able to speak the language but are familiar with Chinese culture etc. because they’ve studied or lived it well, or maybe they’ve actually watched decades of Chinese drama to be able to analyse it properly now, all that’s awesome. 

Also, I’m all for people who are learning Chinese (or any language for that matter) to translate something as practice. That’s great, that’s good, that’s to be admired!! 

It’s non-Chinese speaking/reading people who claim they know the original content better than translators without any discussions, claiming some superiority over the content because they think the translation is not done well enough without doing any of the ground work that I really have an issue with (and also the fuckers who steal of course XD).

*****

And unfortunately I had too much time on my hands today and got pissed off after seeing the tweet so some of you have to read through this drivel XD