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perseusannabeth · 11 months ago

Text

Chapter 1

A/N: Hi everyone, and happy holidays! This is my contribution to the @acotargiftexchange for the lovely @talkfantasytome! I want to thank the organisers for this absolutely brilliant event. It's looking like this fic will be 3 chapters, so fingers crossed that the rest of the parts will come soon!

This has chef Cassian and writer Nesta, aka my favourite combo. I also have to warn you, as per usual, Cassian's Illyrian cooking is in fact how I cook as a south Asian person.

AO3 is currently down, so I won't be able to post this on there until later, but it will be added. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this!

Summary: Cassian is deeply concerned about the fact that his neighbour cannot cook at all. He decides to start cooking for her to save her from an early death, and it becomes so much more.

Cassian had lived in his current apartment for a long enough time to know most of the people in the building. It wasn't a massive building, so it wasn't hard to run into people. The only person he hadn't run into was his neighbour, who had moved in 3 months ago.

Thankfully, there were signs of life, like the post being checked, and he could hear the door opening and closing. The most concerning thing he noticed was that his new neighbour seemed friendly with the fast food delivery drivers. Cassian didn't like judging food choices because he knew that people around him already felt self-conscious when they talked about food. Being a chef meant people assumed he knew best, but he could easily teach people he was willing to learn. Still, his neighbour was concerning him a lot. They must be on their way to a heart attack with the amount of fast food they consumed, and from Cassian's observation, they sometimes got food at least once a day or more. But Cassian had never assumed his neighbour's eating habits would affect him.

"So, have you seen her around? It's been a few days, that's all, and I'm a little worried about her," said his delivery driver, Toby.

"I'm sorry, I'm so tired right now that my brain barely functions. Please, can you repeat yourself?"

"Nesta, your neighbour. She orders from us daily, but I've not had any deliveries for her for 3 days. I'm just a little worried about her, that's all," Toby said, blushing now. The poor guy couldn't be more than 20 years old. At 20 years old, Cassian can't imagine he would've had the guts to do what Toby was doing, so he had to hand it to the guy.

"I'm sorry, I haven't heard from her," Cassian replied, unwilling to admit he'd never seen her before and had just learned her name from Toby. "I'll check on her though, don't worry," Cassian said, to both reassure the man and to get him to leave because, god damn it, his food was getting cold!

"Thanks, man, I really appreciate it. She seems nice, and she tips really well." Toby smiled. Cassian just nodded awkwardly and then waited for Toby to finally (finally) move from his door.

Cassian practically inhaled his food because, yes, he had promised his delivery driver that he would check on his neighbour, but if he was going to check on a potentially dead person, he would not be doing it while he was hungry. Fuck that; he had been in the restaurant since 6am, and he had planned on eating and then collapsing in bed. Now he had to check on his potentially dead neighbour because the delivery boy liked her tips!

By the time he had finished his food, he had managed to work up some energy, mostly just the rage he had to check on his neighbour and delay his sleep. Still, before leaving his flat, he checked his attitude at the door because he didn't want to be rude. He was being neighbourly, even if he was tired.

When he knocked on the door and didn't hear any movement on the other side of the door, he was suddenly wide awake. He had horrific visions of breaking the door down and finding a corpse as he knocked again, trying to delay the rescue mission playing out in his head. When the door flew open, Cassian nearly jumped out of his skin.

The lady in front of him looked pretty annoyed at him, especially as he gawped at her like an idiot. Her hair was pulled up in something that might have once been a bun but was now just a tangled mess. She was in a long t-shirt that had seen better days; it was stained and faded, and underneath, she wore leggings that were in a similar state. But somehow, despite all this and the deep bags under her eyes, she still was the most beautiful woman Cassian had ever seen.

"Can I help you?" The woman said, giving him a quick once over.

That snapped Cassian out of his trance. "Sorry, erm, I'm looking for someone called Nesta?" Cassian asked awkwardly.

The woman had gone from droll to actively suppressing a laugh. "Oh my god, did Emerie actually do it? Are you a male stripper?"

Cassian's eyes widened as he quickly stepped back to distance himself from the beautiful, crazy woman. "Woah, I have no idea who Emerie is. I'm flattered you think I could pass for a stripper, but I'm no magic Mike. I'm Cassian, and I'm your neighbour." Cassian said, pointing at the open door to his apartment.

'Oh," the woman said, now also looking awkward.

"Look, I just need to know if you're Nesta and if you're alright. I ordered some food, and the delivery driver said he was worried because he hadn't heard from you in a few days," Cassian explained, not wanting to linger in awkward silence.

The woman's face went bright red at that, so Cassian assumed that this was, in fact, the mysterious Nesta who tipped really well and ordered food every single day. "Listen, I'm assuming you're Cassian, the chef Mrs Culpepper mentioned. I can only imagine what you think of me since Toby felt chatty today. I'm gonna be honest with you, I can't cook. My friend said not to burn down the building, so I've not tried. Really, my takeaway habit is saving everyone, and as my neighbour, you should be grateful, so don't judge me,"

Cassian held his hands up in surrender. "I'm not judging. Just because I enjoy cooking doesn't mean I assume everyone will. I am, however, slightly concerned. Is that all you eat? That can't be good for your health," Cassian said, frowning as he calculated how expensive that must be and the calories. He wasn't the best with numbers, so he couldn't be sure, but he was pretty sure that was a bad time.

"My friend said the same thing, so she batch-cooked me a few meals. I've got a deadline for work, so I've been even worse than usual, but that's why I haven't ordered any food. When it runs out, which will probably be tomorrow, I'll be back to ordering from Toby," she said with a shrug.

"Okay, I said I'm not judging, but that sounds horrific. I can't let you carry on like that. I don't think my conscience can take it," Cassian said, looking at her wide-eyed. The way this woman was going, she'd be dead of a heart attack in no time.

"I'll be fine; you don't need to take pity on me," Nesta said defensively.

"Listen, it's Nesta, right?" she nodded, eyeing him suspiciously now, which made him want to laugh. She hadn't been suspicious before, but now he was questioning her food intake; she was wary of him. "I get to take leftovers from my work. It's one of the perks, but there's sometimes a lot. I tend to bring them home and make myself something with whatever random stuff there is. It's way healthier than ordering out and helps me not waste food. It's a win-win situation for both of us, really."

"So, you're basically offering to be my personal chef?" Nesta said, trying to figure out what the catch was.

"Well, within reason. If there's anything you hate or won't eat, I'll consider it, and obviously, any allergies. And if you want something specific, I don't mind making that, too, as long as I have enough time to get the ingredients. And I don't really mind cooking; if I didn't love it, I wouldn't do it as my job."

A silence lingered, and Cassian wondered if he had gone in too hard on the sales pitch. He wouldn't be shocked if she said no; it was a weird request from your neighbour, whom you'd only met. But there was something about this woman that made Cassian want to offer to cook for her outside of work. His friends knew he never shared his food, not when he was outside of work. He made traditional Illyrian dishes when he was at home. It was a way for him to stay connected with his culture and mother despite his distance. These recipes had been handed down through generations of his mother's family, but there was something private and intimate about them. But he would share them with his neighbour.

"Are you even real?" Nesta said, staring at him in a bit of a daze. Then, she reached out and poked him in the cheek. "You feel real," she said as she continued poking his cheek.

"I- I think I'm real?" Cassian stuttered, really not sure how he should react. Cassian wasn't shy, but this woman was just something else.

Clearly, his talking pulled her out of whatever daze she was in. "I'm so sorry; I've been working non-stop for my next deadline, so I'm losing my grip on reality right now," Nesta said, shaking her head to get rid of whatever weird thoughts were in her head.

Cassian pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to her. "Add your number, and I'll text you so you have mine. Then, you can text me any allergies or anything you wouldn't eat. I'll probably just tell you some dishes I can make with the leftovers, and you can let me know what sounds good. Is that okay with you?" Cassian said.

Nesta nodded, handing his phone back with her number added. Cassian shot her a quick text and then put his phone away. "Thank you," Nesta said awkwardly. "You really don't need to do that, but I'm certainly not going to look a gift horse in the mouth," she said with a shrug and a quick smile.

Cassian smiled back, said his goodbyes and went back to his apartment. As he shut his door, he took his neighbour in, who was watching him walk away with a contemplative look on her face. He shook his head, shutting his door. Cassian was doing a good deed for his hot neighbour, but he hoped and prayed that his friends wouldn't find out about it.

With that, he quickly got ready for bed, practically collapsing into his bed. As he drifted off to sleep, he noticed that he was smiling and had been since he had said goodbye to his neighbour.

***

Cassian had forgotten entirely about the events of the night before when he woke up in the morning. It was so surreal; it felt like a dream. It wasn't until he was getting ready for his morning run that he realised it was true.

He had a strict no phones policy in the mornings, mainly because his doom-scrolling habit was an awful way to start the day. So until he was ready to leave the house, he wouldn't look at his phone. It had helped with his mental health a lot and made waking up for his job so much easier, too.

Since he had the day off, he slept till 9, which was late for someone who left the house at 4am every day for work. When he finally looked at his phone, he froze for a second, because there was a message from his neighbour.

Once he had processed that yesterday had, in fact, not been a dream, he quickly made a note of the things she didn't like (kale being called the devil's lettuce made him laugh way more than it should've); he had a quick glance in the fridge to see what he could make. He figured he would make a quick tuna and avocado sandwich for lunch, and then for dinner, he would make pasta. Both seemed reasonably safe first options for her meals. Then, he could also give her leftover pasta for lunch the next day.

As he finally left and started his run, he realised this could be the perfect opportunity to work on some new recipes for the restaurant. He wanted to update the menu and add more traditional recipes, but he had been nervous to test them out on anyone. By the time he got to the point he turned back, he had a massive grin on his face. He whipped his phone out and sent Nesta a text.

Cassian: I've just had an idea. How would you feel being my new taster for some experimental recipes?

Her reply was instant, which surprised him.

Nesta: you're doing me a favour so if i can help then i'm good with that. Although idk if i'm the best taste tester since my own culinary skills start and end at cereal

Cassian: All I need is your honest opinion, everyone else in my life is too biased.

Nesta: i'm not afraid of cutting a man down, so dw

Cassian laughed at her message, sending her a quick laughing emoji before he put his phone back to go back home. He was in a good mood and excited about cooking for someone new. Of course, he got to cook for new people at his job every day, but cooking for someone one-on-one was so different. He could get her reactions, and she would give him feedback. This wasn't just a faceless customer; it was his neighbour.

When he had assembled the sandwich, he put it into a Tupperware box and then cleaned up the kitchen. Once he was done, he finally gave Nesta her sandwich, trying to ignore the excitement and nerves bubbling in his stomach as he knocked on her door.

Nesta flung the door open with a massive smile on her face. "Well, hello there, neighbour," she said, wiggling her eyebrows at him. "What do you have for me?" Nesta said, looking at the box with excitement.

"I've got a tuna and avocado sandwich with red onion and some homemade sriracha mayo," Cassian said, presenting her the food with a flourish.

Nesta didn't hesitate to open the box to have a look. "Oh wow, this looks so good, like one of those fancy coffee shop sandwiches which is really over-priced. Did you make the bread, too?" she asked, tapping the sourdough.

"Oh nah, absolutely not; I'm not much of a bread maker; it's so faffy, but I love the smell of fresh bread. There's another chef in the restaurant who makes bread, but there's never any left, so this is just some supermarket bread."

"Oh, well, I thought you used leftovers," Nesta said with a frown.

"I do, but I like to jazz them up, so I use things I have at home, too. Don't worry about it, though."

"Nah, absolutely not. I need to pay you for this if you're using your money to feed me. That's not fair on you!" she exclaimed. "I'm not a charity case."

"I don't think you are!" Cassian said, alarmed. "You're going to help me, remember. Maybe I'll develop a new menu for the restaurant."

"I still want to contribute to this because you're saving me a lot of money. Let me pay half towards your groceries at least," Nesta said sternly.

"I- okay if you insist, but I feel bad taking your money," Cassian said awkwardly.

"Well, that's too bad. Text me your bank details, and I'll transfer you the money, and if you don't, I'll just have to hunt you down and hurt you," she threatened.

"You seem like a busy woman, so I'll try to avoid that happening," Cassian winced. Changing the subject, he asked, "So I never asked, but what do you do?"

"Oh, I'm a writer!" Nesta said excitedly.

"Oh wow, that's amazing! What kind of stuff do you write? I've not had time to read in a while, but maybe I should start that up again."

Nesta's eyes widened at that. "Do not read my books. You're not the target audience, and frankly, I would probably have to avoid you if I knew you'd read them."

Cassian frowned at her, and then it dawned on him. "Oh my god, you write porn books!" he exclaimed.

"They're romance books! Sometimes they might have some smut, but they're not porn!" she hissed.

"Right, of course! Well, I'm gonna get going since you've probably got some sex scene left to right or something," Cassian said with a shit-eating grin.

Nesta froze but then smirked. "Actually, I finished writing that last night after you left. You know, since you weren't the male stripper I was hoping for," she said before turning around and slamming the door in his face. He stood there gaping for a while before eventually shaking himself out of it. My god, that woman was something else.

***

"Cassian bheta! It's been too long since you called me," his mother said as she answered the phone. He had decided to ring her while he cooked because it was the best way to cook. He couldn't help but smile at his mother calling him son in their native language. He loved his Illyrian culture; the fact his mother had taught him so much of it gave him such pride.

"Mama, I called you 2 days ago, and I've been texting you too!" he protested with a smile as he diced onion.

"But you're my baby, my bacha, you don't understand. One day, when you have your own children, then you'll understand," she loved saying that line. It was one of his favourites. Now, he was nearing 30 and not even close to being married.

He ignored her comment, knowing no good could come from delving into that subject. "Mama, I'm making Illyrian-style pasta for my neighbour right now."

"Ohh, is your neighbour Illyrian too? Rhys's mum told me that the lady who used to live across the road from her has a daughter in the city! Her name is-"

"Mama! Velaris is a big city; you know I won't run into every Illyrian here, so stop trying to match-make! My neighbour isn't Illyrian, but she said she's happy to try different things. I'm cooking for her because she can't cook for herself."

"She can't cook?" his mother said, sounding scandalised.

"No, and let me tell you, how I met her was crazy."

He relayed the events of yesterday evening while he sauteed the onion in some ghee, diced up some bell peppers and drained the sweetcorn. After the onions started to go soft, he added the basaar, a mix of spices that Illyrians added to almost every dish.

"Well, it's a good thing you're here to look after this girl; the poor thing has been living off those takeaways; she's in desperate need of some good, home-cooked food!" his mother said the word takeaway like it was dirty. She had always been very strict about eating out when they were younger, telling him they could make it better at home. Only as he got older did he realise they probably couldn't afford to eat out for more than the occasional treat.

"That's why I offered mama."

"That's because you're my good bacha," she said fondly. "What's this neighbour's name anyway? And what does she do?" she asked.

Cassian smiled. Illyrian mothers could never resist fishing for gossip, even if it was people they didn't know. "Oh, her name is Nesta, and she said she's a romance writer."

His mother gasped, making him almost drop the pasta as he drained it. "Are you cooking for the famous writer, Nesta Archeron?" his mother asked, her excitement tangible.

"I don't actually know her surname. Why?" he asked, suspicious.

"Oh my god, Cassian!" her mother screamed, so excited that she didn't seem to mind busting her son's eardrums. "Cassian, that woman is my favourite author!"

His eyes widened at that. "Mama! I don't want to know if you read those books!" he said, taking deep breaths and trying to clear his mind of that information.

"Pfft, why? Those books are brilliant, and you're a grown man now, stop being a baby. There are no men in my life, but those fictional men are something else," his mother sounded breathless, which was just too disturbing to think about.

"Mama! Stop, I'll be sick if you carry on, and then how can I feed your favourite author?"

His mother was outraged at that. "Listen here, you! She's writing her next book, so you better feed her well because I've been waiting for this book for a year."

"Geez, mama, I promise I will; now I have to go. I'll give it to her now while it's warm." He said, sprinkling cheese on the pasta he had put in the two Tupperware boxes for Nesta. His mother said her goodbyes because he needed to feed Nesta, not because he said he needed to go. She made it clear her loyalties lie with Nesta, which was concerning.

He knocked on Nesta's door, and she came quickly this time. She eagerly handed him an empty box from lunch, which had been washed, and took the pasta.

"I'm not sure if you know this, but I can smell when you're cooking things, so I've been able to smell this for a while, and I'm starving right now. This smells absolutely amazing, so if this is what Illyrian food is like, keep it coming," Nesta said, not taking her eyes off the pasta.

"Well, this isn't Illyrian food; this is just pasta with an Illyrian twist on it, in all fairness, but I'll keep that in mind." Nesta nodded eagerly. "By the way, my mother wanted me to check. Are you the author, Nesta Archeron?"

Nesta looked up at that. "Yes, I am," she said slowly.

"Right, well, my mother is a big fan and said I need to feed you well so you can write your book because she's very excited. She's basically gonna disown me if I don't cook well for you," he laughed.

Nesta smiled at that. "She sounds sweet. Let her know that you're doing an excellent job."

Cassian smiled back and returned to his apartment, giving her instructions about how she needed to eat the 2nd box for lunch tomorrow because he would be at work. Nesta thanked him profusely, licking her lips as she eyed the pasta.

Cassian got out of there quickly after that because seeing Nesta lick her lips did something weird that he didn't want to think about. He had only met the woman yesterday, so whatever he felt, he would ignore it.

He got a text as he dug into his own pasta while watching a modern family rerun on TV.

Nesta: this might be the best pasta i've ever had omg you're a god!!!

Nesta: i would eat this for the rest of my life if i could

Cassian: It's not too spicy for you?

Nesta: nah, this is fine, the tomatoes calm it down. Idk if i'm strong enough to handle more than this tho, my tastebuds are probs dead with everything i eat

Cassian: Lolll, noted

Cassian cleared his dishes and got into bed since he'd have an early night the next day. Before putting his phone away, he quickly googled his neighbour, and lo and behold, a list of her books came up. She was popular, and he had to admit, he was impressed. Her fans were practically rabid for her next book. It looked like a series, so he ordered the first book before he could think about it too deeply.

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#nessian #cassian x nesta #nesta archeron #acotar #nesta x cassian

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therealbeachfox · 4 months ago

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"So Outlaws should’ve been doomed from the start, and almost was. The thing that saved it though, strangely enough, was that fucking décor.

For those of you who never set foot inside one while they still existed (and good on you, you are truly wise) and don’t want to sit down with any of those old YouTube “Live Commentary of my Outlaws Trip Experience” videos (also good on you. No one has enough life-span to be wasting any of it on crap like that), it can be hard to describe. You had your cow skulls painted with American flags and wearing giant rhinestoned purple cowboy hats. You had guitars with red and black lightning bolts and flashing LEDs hidden inside. You had railroad crossing signs covered with barbed wire, shotguns with screaming eagles painted across the barrels in gold paint, and on and on and on.

Just… Truly godawful shit.

But this was Gotham, and that décor did not last long. I mean, around here most restaurants know better than to cover their walls with easily snaggable crap like that. It’s just free shit as far as most of the late-night customers are going to be concerned, especially when your business model is so heavily focused on the 20-somethings and teenagers with good fake IDs demographics like Outlaws was.

But this was Gotham, so we didn’t just steal all that shit, oh no. See, here’s what the rest of you don’t get about Gotham. It’s not that we’re all a bunch of amoral murderous criminals. Sure, our per-capita rate of those is truly unsettling compared to the rest of the country, but they’re still very much the minority. No, what makes a Gothamite truly a Gothamite is the utter gleeful perversity we take whenever we’re gonna be a shit. It can manifest in all sorts of ways (Just look at our own Bruce Wayne, who manifests his as pure ‘fuck the rich’ energy, setting his money on fire, pratfalling into fountains, and then grinning at all the other rich-people who have to put up with his bullshit because despite it all he’s still way richer than they’ll ever be.), but very often it manifests in not doing crime in a straight-forward manner, but insisting on being a little fucking bitch about it.

So people didn’t just steal that gaudy bullshit wall art; they replaced it.

The cow-skulls got switched out for manikin heads, still wearing the same gaudy cowboy hats. Then the hats were exchanged for headwear that was even weirder. Railroad signs were taken away, even with the barbed wire, and for awhile the walls were plastered with “Warning! Live Mines!” signage left over from No-Man’s. That terrible LED-illuminated lightning guitar was replaced with a full-ass gargoyle someone managed to pry off one of the smaller spires of St. Marie’s, and I really fucking wish I could claim credit for that one, but I have no idea who did it much less -how-. "

(494 words from chapter one of TCAKMJT) I would love to know about how you came up with the idea of Outlaws, because I (non-american) had to actually search up if it existed or not!

Hoo boy! Going from 0 to 60 right out the gate on this one!

*deep breath*

Outlaws (the restaurant) is what happens when I'm allowed to let an idea peculate for the better part of a year in the back of my head.

While I was in the process of pulling together Conrad the Crime Alley Kid from the various in-character comments I'd made on TaxiCabToSlowtown's "Am I the Bathole" series, TaxiCab was busy making their own version of the (at the time) nameless not-hench, which turned into How to Get (a) Partner(s) Through Reddit. In it, the big mask-off reveal that Red Hood was Jason Todd was made in the back alley behind a nameless East End bar with Starfire and Arsenal in attendance, and just as with Jason's screen name being TheFredHood, I knew I had to borrow/steal/homage that for my own version as well.

When I got to that point.

*Spongebob voice* 11 months later.

So during all the time I was working on the earlier stories, I had this scene churning away in the back of my head. The first thing I -knew- I had to do was name the bar they met at Outlaws. Because I strongly feel like Jason and pals would be unable to resist grabbing 1 AM burgers and beer while plotting out their next technically-not-a-crime-spree from a place called -Outlaws-.

However, Outlaws lead my mind to Outlaw Country music and all of its assorted motifs and flair, and I floundered around on how to reconcile my version of Red Hood voluntarily eating at a place like that. But that was fine, I had a bunch of other shit to write ahead of figuring out how to handle that.

A bit into all this, I came across the Skrunkfest post series, and my brain promptly shoved it into the Outlaws box and went "Eh? Eh??" at me while waggling its eyebrows, but it still wasn't jelling.

A bit after -that-... I can't remember a specific post or image or thing I read triggering it, but that doesn't mean there wasn't one, but I had the sudden mental image of a western-cyberpunk bar with the fog-machine ambiance and weird lighting, and walls covered with Batman villain gear with green and purple fairy lights strung through them, and just a total Skrunkfest style vibe as you got served at a grungy funky bar with a cracked Red Hood helmet mounted between one of Harley's hammers and a razor-wire wrapped "No Man's Land - Landmine Warning" signpost. And went "Okay. Something like -that-."

So by the time I sat down to start writing that story for reals, I had the mental image of "Outlaws: A kitchzy Western/Outlaw Country restaurant/bar turned Gotham Skrunk/Villain den." and began writing it based around that concept sketch.

Small digression: I usually write my stuff multiple times. I write the chapter, get out everything I feel needs to be in there. Then I put that to the side of the screen, and start writing it again from scratch. Now that I'm not coming up with the ideas fresh, I can write them... smoother? More detailed and more comfortable. Taking a sander and sculpting knife to it all. I honestly usually repeat this process two or three times before moving onto reworking stuff within the document instead of making a new one.

All that to say, the first... three? versions of the chapter still weren't working for me. Then I remembered: Oh wait, I don't need to have Conrad give a mental description of the place as he walks through the door, I have social media posts!

And it was while rewriting that whole section as Conrad's online review-slash-teardown that the full Outlaws experience jelled into being.

Outlaws, pre-Gothamization, is everything about American chain restaurants I hate. And everything I hate about the 2000's faux patriotismgasim that overtook and consumed Country music then swaggered around in it's skinned hide.

On the restaurant front, I started with the "Stick everything on the walls" philosophy you get out of Cracker Barrel or *deep sigh* Red Robin. I don't know how common this... concept is outside of the USA, but it's basically taking the contents of some barn's storage shed and just nailing it all to the walls. "Crazy Crap on the Wall decor", pastiche americana, faux Americana, "like a telekinetic went crazy at a flea market", there's no common name for it.

Basically, taking that concept, and blending it with all the insane-ass "We're calling ourselves Outlaw Country, but we've got million dollar budgets for this show tour" stuff I've seen over the years, shoving in the weird over-abundance of sauces that all taste different variations of sickly sweet you get out of places like Buffalo Wild Wings, and just everything that comes from the "A bunch of venture capitalists with too much money decide to just brute force a new dining institution by opening 80 branches all at once and money-bombing an advertising spree across every form of media at once" phenomenon.

So that left me with the original Outlaws, and I knew what I wanted the final results to look like. Then once I was writing Conrad writing about it all, the exact progression of how the former became the latter finally came together.

Ta-Dah!

Honestly, the Outlaws restaurant has one of the highest number of contributing concepts out of anything I've come up with so far. Which, again, is what happens when you get an entire year to just let something brew in the back of your head.

And I'm glad that it felt real enough to have to google because there are honestly so many places like this. I just sort of smooshed them all together and bumped the dials to max because comics!

#The Crime Alley Kid #Conrad Nolastname #Batman #DCU #Fanfic #Writing about writing

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crimeboys · 1 year ago

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🌹!

“No, we’re not a new restaurant,” Wilbur says into the phone. Most calls are people asking that same question because of the name, Name Pending, that Wilbur and Niki thought was fucking hilarious six years ago. Now, Wilbur wants to ring their quirky little necks. “The name is just an inside joke. Yes, we’re open. Until 6pm. Because we’re a bakery, sir.”

The bell rings as the door opens. Wilbur doesn’t really need the bell because he can see with 100% clarity when people come in, but he and Niki thought it would add that touch of authenticity. As the customer continues to rant about wanting cookies at 7pm, a grimy-looking man walks in. Well, his skin isn’t grimy but his clothes are. Wilbur wonders how one can conceivably get that many stains on a shirt.

Wilbur hangs up the phone despite the customer still speaking and says, “Welcome in. What can I get for you today?”

“A job,” the man says. “If you’ve got one, I need a job. Badly.” Wilbur can afford to keep this place running maybe two months more.

“Well, I’m sorry but you’d probably have better luck-”

“No!” The man shouts, and Wilbur straightens up a bit in his shock. “No, no, no because that's what the lady at the supermarket said.”

“You got rejected by the lady at the supermarket?” They’ve got terrible turnover there. And thieves. This guy’s resume must be shit.

“Yeah, then I went to the bookstore, then the arcade, then the fucking thrift. All of them said, you’ll have better luck down the street!”

“Well,” Wilbur says with a shrug. “London.”

“Oh, fuck London.” Wilbur agrees. “Look, I really just- I just need a job, alright?”

“Yes, but I haven’t got one to give you.”

“Why not?”

“Well, I just prefer to work alone.” A lie. Wilbur misses the loud mornings of baking and music, crooning and dancing with Niki as they laughed, Wilbur always stealing at least one cookie per batch. Mornings with himself are loud in the bad way.

“Okay. I prefer having a job, personally.” The man slaps a paper on the counter. Wilbur bends over to skim it. Oh, nevermind, there are hardly 20 words. It would be hard to skim any more than that.

RESUME:

Name: Tommy Innit Prior Job: ONLY Man Ever Expected Pay: 200 dollars per hour

“Right,” Wilbur says. He folds his hands on the counter. “I’m not giving you 200 dollars an hour.”

“We can negotiate. 199.99 isn’t terrible.”

“You ever heard of minimum wage?”

“Ever heard of knowing your worth?” Wilbur’s eye twitches.

“What could you even bring to the table? You have any skills? Anything that would amount to earning 200 dollars an hour?” Tommy squints, like this question has never occurred to him.

“Work.”

“But what can you do?”

“Work.”

“If you can’t even answer a simple question-”

“Just tell me what to do, I’ll do it! I don’t care what it is.”

“Have you ever baked? Have you ever cleaned?”

“I can figure it out!”

“Sorry, was that a no on the cleaning thing?” Looking at Tommy’s clothes, Wilbur would wager so.

“Just give me a chance!” Wilbur is not at the fucking place he can just give people chances right now. He’s going out of business, he just got dumped by Dream for the upteenth fucking time, and his little brother had the audacity to offer him money not 24 hours ago. He does not want to garner another fucking loss.

“Why won’t anyone hire you?” Tommy groans.

“Fuck’s it matter?”

“Color me curious.”

“Fuckin’- not a lot of places take ex-cons.” Well, that’s certainly something. That should probably make Wilbur’s choice even easier. But Tommy looks determined, Wilbur might be a little manic right now, and he’s tired of eating burnt fucking cinnamon rolls.

- document titled "relationship scramble"

#asks #cumulonumb #this is my wilbur as fleabg au lmao #all of the relationships in this fic are both hilarious and really sad #well actually wilbur and drm's is mostly hilarious i won't lie #also the little brother is tbbo btw just to be clear

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mjm5655 · 2 years ago

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MAJIMA & SMOKING HC

since this pops up enough in roleplays, i'm going to get specific on how much of a smoker this man is.

majima has a preferred brand of cigarettes, he personally purchases hi-lite cigarettes. they have a sweet flavour to them, but are quite strong. he will take cigarettes of other brands offered to him as he doesn't refuse the cabin one that sagawa offers him, but this could be because it's considered rude to refuse a cigarette offered ( just like how it is rude to refuse at least the first glass of alcohol ), as much as he hates sagawa, he remains civil with him in this cutscene.

majima easily can go through a pack, & more per day. he is a heavy smoker, he smokes when he's chilling, smokes when he's stressed/angry, smokes when he's being social, smokes when he's fighting, smokes when he's fucking ... pretty much this guy can nearly always be smoking.

even know the legal age in japan is 20 for smoking, majima picked the habit up when he was 14 years of age. this is around the time he starts to run about in a biker gang. he would have got into it via peers of these gangs, & has been hooked since.

he has no plans in quitting ever. he knows it's bad for his health, but he doesn't really care. majima didn't originally see himself living to his current age ( 58/soon 59 ), anywhere near it in fact, as he was willing to die for his boss in the 1985 hit at age 20. he knew if he was part of that hit, it would have seen him behind bars for life, & possibly executed.

he typically has no issue smoking in or outside. in 5, he's seen smoking within a restaurant whilst eating, as in japan, smoking inside is still allowed in various businesses. he smokes within his apartment in 0, but makes sure to open the window. he's seen various times smoking outside, mostly around west park, & his idle animation in 0 is him taking out a cigarette, lighting it really quickly, & smoking it wherever. if he has a child, or children are around, he does have some decency to not smoke around them, & definitely goes outdoors to smoke within his home.

the hole was torture enough, but it was even more torture for majima as he started to suffer nicotine withdrawal. though, the symptoms weren't seen that easily here as he was also being tortured, so he had other reasons for a lot of the symptoms involved with withdrawal too, but he really did miss cigarettes here, what made matters worse for him is men that came in to torture him smoked away, & he had to see that. as soon as majima got out, & was able to get some money to his name again, he immediately brought himself cigarettes ; sagawa would have also offered him one every so often, which majima would have taken, no question.

the next times he experiences withdrawal are times when he's arrested, & is in jail. the first time he lands into jail isn't so bad, but the second time, he's in there for several months, & it is literal hell for him, he gets angered, frustrated, & irritated by things that usually didn't have that kind of effect on him, his depression also deepens ( majima suffers depression because of events in his past, & having poor coping methods, he does not have any medication ). there are ways he can get cigarettes, but it's not enough for majima's habit. like when he got out of the hole, one of the first things he does when he gets out is buying himself a packet of cigarettes.

#﴾ MAJIMA ⸨ HC ⸩#tw smoking #/i don't usually tag that but since this is literally all this hc talks about #/yea majima's a heavy smoker #/so it pops up in roleplays a lot

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tunafishsportfishing · 1 month ago

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Top 4 Species To Explore While Papagayo Inshore Fishing

Looking for the best fishing grounds in Costa Rica? Choose the area of papagayo sportfishing Costa Rica on the North Pacific coast. Featuring an incredibly rich quantity of game fish, stunning topography, and a wide range of charter fleet, Papagayo provides some of the greatest opportunities for sport fishing in Costa Rica.

Papagayo can be understood as a curved bay that is located between the Papagayo Peninsula and the mainland of Costa Rica. This area embraces over thirty -five miles of shore line, peaceful emerald water and steady blow that puts sailfish, marlin, tuna, mahi-mahi, rooster fish etc.

Papagayo fishing grounds can be visited on full, half, or quarter day shared basis or private charter for your group only. Shared trips are very cheap, often $200-400 per person while per day private charters cost between $1000-3000 for 4-6 people. Boats leave from either the Papagayo or Playas del Coco marinas.

Inshore Fishing

Papagayo is particularly famous for phenomenal Papagayo Inshore Fishing that takes place just several miles from the coast. This is an exciting light tackle fishing where people catch fish and fight them continuously on spinning rods and the countervailing reels.

A normal boat trip for inshore fishing in the company of Papagayo fishing boats entails floating live sardines over reefs and rock piles in 20-60 feet of crystal clear waters. Fishing chasers use popping plugs, jigs and flies to cast between areas and attract any predator that may be present. Squid and shrimp bottom fishing also yields good snapper and grouper fish.

Offshore Fishing

Going more than 10 miles off the island unleashes the opportunity to hook and tussle with Pacific billfish and tunas around floats and temperature breaks. Sailfish and striped marlin, the two top catches at Papagayo, are most abundant between November and the middle of May Trolling with diving plugs, feathers and ballyhoo entice these aerial artists, as well as dorado, yellowfin tuna and wahoo.

This means that clear waters enable the Initiation of offshore day trips from the shores of Papagayo throughout the year. However there is comfortable fishing from May to October since the sea is warmer and the winds lighter. During these months, dolphins and whales also move around to add onto the experience.

Top Papagayo Species

Because of such a great variability of the landscape, it is not surprising when the fishermen of Papagayo catch more than 20+ kinds of fish commonly. But these four fish tend to show up more than others:

1. Sailfish – Quick and flashy, sailfish are very acrobatic when caught, jumping out of the water in spectacular arcs. Both fight and beauty make multiple hookups popular although while trolling offshore.

2. Mahi-Mahi (Dorado) – Brightly colored and fast moving on light gear, mahi weigh from 5-40 lbs around floats and flotsam. The tasty white fillets are consumed in seafood restaurants across the pacific coast.

3. Roosterfish – These fish gain girth and heft and can reach sizes of more than 50 pounds; these fish lurk along the surf line and in the shallow reef areas. Their broadsides glow with iridescent blues and are not as easy to catch as one would think on medium spinning gear.

4. Cubera Snapper – They are one of the inshore fishing bucket list species that wait for bait around rock piles and reefs. Tackle busters over 30lbs make them one of the most sought after and challenging snapper to fish.

Planning Your Papagayo Fishing Trip

Are you up for the challenge of taking on some of the best light tackle and offshore fishing in Costa Rica? Visit the Papagayo region of the North Pacific coast. It has a rich package of charter services and excellent fishing venues for various fish species; therefore, it is the perfect place to catch trophy fish.

Author’s Bio

Tuna Fish Sportfishing helps you find the best fishing charter for the beautiful papagayo sportfishing Costa Rica on the North Pacific of Costa Rica. Our location in the enchanting Guanacaste province, provides guests with opportunities to explore untouched natural parks, and breathtaking tropical environments, in addition to some of the world’s premier big game sport fishing grounds.

#tamarindo fishing charters #fishing charter papagayo #deep sea fishing in costa rica #papagayo fishing charter

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rockawayhouse · 11 months ago

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Beautiful 1-Bedroom Sublet in Bed Stuy/Ocean Hill (Avail 3/1/24)

We are looking for a regular and/or long-term subletter for our chic Bed Stuy/Ocean Hill home. Beautifully furnished with a mix of mid-century and modern styles, this private 1-bedroom rental is available on a long-term, flexible basis, starting March 1, 2024 (flexible)

VIRTUAL TOUR - https://youtu.be/8f7vyGT6UHE

The Neighborhood:

Bed Stuy/Ocean Hill boasts great cafes, bars, restaurants, and dance clubs. We're located on Rockaway Ave between Somers and Hull Sts in eastern Bed Stuy. Right across the street from Phoenix Community Garden and Farmer’s Market - the biggest Community Garden in NYC, and in the midst of amazing businesses - Daily Press Cafe (live music and events), Bread & Butter, Pita Point, Beets Cafe, All Night Skate, Aux Karaoke Bar, Little Skips East, Nowadays, organic delis, huge grocery stores, just to name a few. Saratoga Park, Cuts & Slices, Lady Moomoo, Saraghina, Bed Stuy Fish Fry, and all the great business on Halsey/Malcolm X are a short distance away.

Transportation:

The C train at Rockaway Ave is just 1 block away, the J is 6 blocks away, and the L is 8 blocks away. LIRR East New York station is 10 blocks away. Citibike station is on the corner. Lower Manhattan is 20 minutes by train, JFK is 45 minutes by train, LaGuardia is 25 minutes by car. B60 is across the street taking you up to Williamsburg or down to Canarsie.

The Amenities:

Washer/Dryer in unit!

Dishwasher!

Great Wi-fi!

Abundant Closet Space!

The roomy and peaceful bedroom with western exposure has an incredibly comfortable Full/Queen pullout sleeper that can double as a couch for more space.

The newly renovated bathroom features blue Spanish tiles and a brass rain shower. Split unit A/C in the living room.

The mid-century living room has sunny eastern exposure with lots of plants.

The kitchen is huge (by NYC standards) and 2 people can comfortably cook up a storm.

Cute brick patio out front for sipping coffee, gardening, and people watching.

The apartment has a private and secure entrance. We will keep one bedroom door locked with our personal items for the duration of your stay.

To note:

We are part-time in NYC, and will stay in the unit upstairs for when we're in town. We are looking for a long term relationship with subletters who either are looking to rent for a multi-month period of time, or on-and-off over the course of a longer period of time. Ideally we could navigate a schedule that works for all parties between March and November, but we’re flexible for the right folks. Looking for a minimum 2-3 month commitment sometime starting March 1, 2024 (flexible move-in date) through late November.

This space would be perfect for one person or a couple. No pets, no large parties/events, and no smoking in the apartment.

We have plants in the living room that would love a bit of water, so plant-friendly renters are appreciated!

$2800/month (includes all utilities)

ABOUT THIS LISTER

We are a queer couple in our early 40s who have called Bed Stuy home for over 16 years. We have great relationships with our neighbors and so we’re looking for mature, quiet, and respectful folks who would keep those relationships thriving. We would stay in the upstairs unit occasionally, so we would use the same building stairwell, though the sublet unit is completely private. We have a quiet (a little nervous) rescue dog who loved our last tenants - she is slow to love, but her love is big.

RENTAL REQUIREMENTS

We require 1 month’s rent as security deposit. We also ask for 2 personal/professional references, a copy of government ID, and proof of income/funds, please gather those as you reach out.

Please email us to set up a time to view the apartment. Because we travel quite a bit, we may not always be able to show the unit in person, but we can go through the virtual tour together and answer any questions you may have. If you are NYC based and we are in town, we are happy to show the unit in person.

We are flexible with rental dates especially for the right person, though we do give preference for longer stays.

Deposit/rent will be paid via Zelle or Venmo.

OTHER MISC

This apartment is about 7 steps up from the sidewalk. The apartment is outfitted with double-paned windows to minimize noise, but Rockaway Ave is a moderately trafficked street, so you may occasionally hear the sounds of NYC. And because we do have a small and sweet dog in the unit upstairs, those with severe dog allergies may not be a good fit.

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rubyswanderlust · 1 year ago

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From Broke Student to Jet-Setter: Funding Your Southeast Asia Dream

Ah, the age of 19, fresh into my first year of university, and a burning desire to live life to the fullest—especially through the lens of travel. But let's face it, fellow students, there's a constant hurdle in our path, and it goes by the name of MONEY. Now, add London to the mix, and you've got yourself a budgeting puzzle that needs solving.

So, picture this: my boyfriend and I, in a fit of spontaneity, decided to embark on a seven-week escapade through Southeast Asia over the Christmas break. Sounds dreamy, right? Well, it is, but there's a catch. Southeast Asia might be the haven for cash-strapped college students, but saving up for such an adventure? That's a whole new challenge, my friends.

But fret not, because I'm here to spill the beans on how I managed to squirrel away enough funds for that epic seven-week Southeast Asia journey. And the best part? I did it all without sacrificing my social life and academic performance. So, stick around as I unravel the secrets to budgeting like a pro while savoring every moment of student life.

1. Buy your flights early and PLAN AHEAD

As the Christmas season approached, I found myself in possession of a surplus of approximately £500. This stash consisted of unspent funds from my student finance and the earnings I had squirreled away from my part-time job. It was a fortuitous situation, and my adventurous spirit began to stir. The idea of embarking on a journey to South East Asia started to take shape.

Our first order of business was to scout for flight prices to our desired destination, Bangkok. After some diligent research, we were pleasantly surprised to discover that a round trip from London to Bangkok would cost us around £400. A promising start, indeed!

However, as any seasoned traveler knows, the itinerary can evolve as you go along. It wasn't long before we realized that Kuala Lumpur offered the most budget-friendly return route to London. A handy tip for those seeking economical travel options!

But here's the golden nugget of wisdom I'd like to share: when it comes to booking your flights, always, and I mean ALWAYS, do it well in advance. Trust me; it's a game-changer. Flights are considerably cheaper when booked ahead of time, even in comparison to snagging a deal a mere 3 to 5 months before your intended departure.

Of course, there are a few caveats to this approach. Planning months in advance can feel a tad risky, especially when life's unpredictabilities come into play. However, if you're absolutely certain about your travel plans and have the wanderlust bug firmly entrenched in your system, this method is an absolute winner.

To sweeten the deal, you can employ the nifty tool known as Google Flights. It's your trusty sidekick for pinpointing the departure dates that promise the most budget-friendly fares. So, there you have it—a tried-and-tested formula for budget-savvy travel. Happy exploring!

2. Get a part-time job

Finding the perfect part-time job during my university year turned into a bit of an odyssey, taking me roughly a month to land on the right opportunity. My initial foray into the job market led me to a waitressing gig at a local restaurant. However, it quickly became evident that this place had different plans for my time than I did. Despite my request for a more manageable 15-20 hours per week, they insisted on a gruelling 30-hour workweek.

Thankfully, I didn't give up, and my persistence eventually paid off. I stumbled upon a job at a restaurant that was conveniently paired with the Hilton in the heart of London Bridge. The silver lining? They offered a zero-hour contract, which meant I had the flexibility to work around 10 hours a week. The catch? I had to rise and shine at the crack of dawn since I was assigned to the breakfast buffet shift. But hey, that left me with the entire day to call my own.

With this additional income, coupled with my student finance, I managed to tuck away a tidy sum of £100-200 per month into my travel savings. This prudent financial approach ultimately enabled me to accomplish a significant feat: booking my flight to Bangkok and securing a return flight from Kuala Lumpur in January.

How did I pull it off, you might wonder? Well, I made a conscious decision to save money during the Christmas holidays by opting to spend quality time with my family staying at home instead of splurging on groceries, transportation, and other expense if I decided to stay on campus. My part-time job earnings were now exclusively channeled into my travel savings fund. And that, my friends, is how I turned my dreams of an adventure into a reality.

3. Lock your travel savings into a Monzo pot

Being a student on a budget, I stumbled upon a game-changer: Monzo, the banking app that quickly became my trusty sidekick. Why, you ask? Well, let me spill the beans.

Monzo boasts a nifty feature that had me absolutely hooked—the ability to create what they call "pots." Picture these pots as your secret stash for all your savings goals. It's like having a digital piggy bank, but way cooler.

Now, here's where it gets even better. I designated one of these magical pots exclusively for my travel savings. It became my virtual treasure chest, where I diligently stashed away funds for my upcoming summer adventures. But wait, there's more! Monzo throws in an extra layer of awesomeness by allowing you to lock these pots for a specific period. Talk about commitment!

If you're anything like me and aspire to save up for your epic summer escapades, Monzo is your go-to bank. It keeps things crystal clear by showing you exactly how much you've squirreled away. Plus, it's equipped with nifty features that act as your guardian angels, preventing you from dipping into your precious travel savings. So, if you're ready to embark on a budget-savvy journey toward your dream summer getaway, Monzo is here to make it happen. Trust me; you won't regret it.

4. Pre-game hard before you go out

Let's talk about one of the classic student struggles—nights out with friends. It was my Achilles' heel when I was on a mission to save up during my university days. Ah, those unforgettable first-year adventures! Back then, the goal was simple: get as drunk as humanly possible every single time.

You know how it goes—one drink leads to another, and suddenly, I've dropped a cool £50 on club drinks that didn't even have the courtesy to get me properly sloshed. It's a rite of passage, really. But if you're looking for sage advice to pass down to fellow university students, here it is: pregame like a pro.

For the uninitiated, pregame is the art of enjoying a few budget-friendly sips before hitting the town. In my case, a trusty £6 bottle of white wine was my secret weapon. It's a game-changer that not only saves you a small fortune but also ensures you're in good spirits for a night out.

And here's a little trick I picked up along the way—a sober month. Yep, you heard that right. I tried it, and it worked wonders for my wallet. Of course, this path is reserved for the truly dedicated travelers among us, like myself. Plus, there are some nifty health benefits thrown in for good measure.

So, if you're ready to commit to your travel dreams, consider these wallet-friendly tactics. Your future adventures—and your bank account—will thank you. Cheers to saving and savouring life!

5. Don't buy new clothes or sell your old, unused ones

Ah, the perils of being a spirited teenager—it's all too easy to succumb to the allure of an online shopping spree, seeking that sweet serotonin rush. But let me regale you with a valuable lesson I learned on my quest to save up for my Asian adventure.

Here's the thing: buying new clothes can seem like a fantastic idea at the time, but trust me, it often doesn't live up to the hype. I vividly recall the sinking feeling of spending a hefty £50 on a top that lost its appeal within a mere month. Ouch. That £50 could've been a tidy addition to my savings pot.

So, here's my sage advice—take a moment to cherish your current wardrobe. You've got more than enough stylish outfits to rock. The truth is, you don't need to splurge on trendy new threads every single month. Sometimes, less is more.

But wait, there's more wisdom to share. Ever thought about clearing out those old clothes that have been gathering dust? Enter apps like Vinted, your ticket to not only decluttering your wardrobe but also pocketing a little extra cash. It's a win-win. The money you make from selling those second-hand gems can easily replace any funds you might have dipped into from your savings pot during moments of weakness.

So, my fellow youthful thrivers, remember this: appreciating what you have and making savvy choices will not only keep your wardrobe fresh but also propel you closer to your savings goals. It's all about balance and making the most of what you've got. Happy saving!

6. Spend less money on transport

London, the ultimate city for strolling to your heart's content. An hour spent navigating the vibrant streets of this bustling metropolis feels like a mere twenty minutes. So, before you let TFL make a dent in your bank account every time you tap into the tube, consider another option—walking.

Not only does this choice help you rack up those much-needed steps, but it also invites a sense of mindfulness into your daily routine. There's something special about meandering through London's streets, taking in the sights, sounds, and energy of the city.

Now, for those moments when public transport is non-negotiable, here's a pro tip: make sure you've got your trusty student discount zip card at the ready. The small savings you accumulate with each journey may seem inconsequential in the moment, but they add up to significant savings in the long run.

In a nutshell, if your destination in London is less than an hour away by foot, I say go for it—walk to your heart's content. Your wallet and your well-being will thank you.

7. Stop buying your significant other gifts

Are you and your partner planning an exciting travel adventure together, much like I did? Well, here's a little nugget of wisdom I picked up along the way—put a hold on those pricey gifts for birthdays, Valentines, Christmas, and all the rest.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for showing love through gift-giving, but let's consider a savvy alternative. How about redirecting those gift funds straight into your travel savings pot? It's a game-changer that can help you build up a substantial travel fund before you know it.

If you and your partner share a burning passion for exploring new horizons and want to ensure your trip is not just a dream but a reality filled with incredible experiences, this is a no-brainer. Making the decision to prioritize your travel goals over materialistic gifts is a win-win situation.

After all, isn't the prospect of a remarkable journey together and the memories you'll create far more valuable and enduring than those fleeting, material presents? It's a shift in perspective that's bound to make your adventures all the more meaningful. So, consider this your passport to both love and wanderlust!

8. Choose your supermarket wisely, good meal plans are key

London, the land of opportunities, but also a city that can quickly drain your wallet. But fear not, fellow budget-conscious souls, for I've uncovered a gem of wisdom that will keep your finances in check while keeping your belly full.

First and foremost, ditch the fancy supermarkets and head straight to the budget-friendly havens—Aldi and Lidl. These places are your best pals when it comes to smart grocery shopping in the heart of London.

Now, let's talk strategy. The key to saving big bucks is to craft a robust meal plan. Trust me; this simple step can be a game-changer. Instead of splurging on takeout and watching your hard-earned money vanish, you'll be in control of your spending.

As an example, let's take a 19-year-old like me. With a mere £11 at Aldi, I managed to score groceries that kept me satisfied for an entire week. Yes, you read that right! Three meals a day, each brimming with the essential trio—protein, fiber, and carbs.

Sure, we all have unique tastes and dietary needs, but the bottom line remains the same. Whether you're a gourmet enthusiast or a lover of simple pleasures, shopping at Aldi or Lidl will stretch your grocery budget further than you ever thought possible. So, without further ado, here's a sample meal plan to help you conquer the art of budget-friendly grocery shopping in your local Aldi. Your wallet will thank you later!

Day 1:

Breakfast: Oatmeal with banana slices.

Lunch: Peanut butter and banana sandwich.

Dinner: Spaghetti with tomato sauce, a side salad, and garlic bread.

Day 2:

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with toast.

Lunch: Tuna salad (canned tuna, mayo, and chopped veggies).

Dinner: Baked chicken thighs with mixed vegetables and rice.

Day 3:

Breakfast: Greek yogurt with honey and a handful of berries.

Lunch: Cheese and ham sandwich with a side of carrot sticks.

Dinner: Vegetarian chili with rice.

Day 4:

Breakfast: Banana and peanut butter smoothie.

Lunch: Leftover chili.

Dinner: Pork sausages with mashed potatoes and peas.

Day 5:

Breakfast: Cereal with milk.

Lunch: Turkey and cheese wrap with cucumber slices.

Dinner: Tuna pasta (canned tuna, pasta, mayo, and peas).

Day 6:

Breakfast: Toasted English muffin with cream cheese.

Lunch: Leftover tuna pasta.

Dinner: Chicken drumsticks with roasted potatoes and green beans.

Day 7:

Breakfast: Pancakes with syrup.

Lunch: Tomato soup with a side of crackers.

Dinner: Vegetarian stir-fry with rice (use frozen mixed veggies and tofu or your preferred protein).

Additional Ingredients:

Olive oil, butter, or cooking spray for cooking.

Salt, pepper, and basic spices (like garlic powder, paprika, and oregano).

Shopping List:

Oatmeal

Bananas

Bread

Peanut butter

Canned tuna

Mixed vegetables

Tomato sauce

Salad greens

Garlic bread

Eggs

Greek yogurt

Honey

Berries

Cheese slices

Deli ham

Carrots

Pork sausages

Potatoes

Peas

Cereal

Milk

Turkey slices

Tortillas or wraps

Cucumber

Cream cheese

English muffins

Tomato soup

Crackers

Pancake mix

Syrup

Frozen mixed vegetables

Tofu or preferred protein

10. Freeload off your parents

Living near your parents during university can be a blessing in disguise, and I've got a little trick up my sleeve to share with you—make the most of it! Here's how I did it: I'd invite my dear parents for a fun day out in central London, but there was a little twist—our adventure included a grocery shopping spree.

Now, you might wonder why I'd drag them along for a grocery run, but let me tell you, it's a brilliant way to save some extra cash while enjoying quality time together. Plus, who doesn't love a day out with their folks, right?

And here's a little secret that many university students swear by—when you head back home during breaks, seize the opportunity to load up on all the "freebies" you can find. Trust me; these treasures can go a long way in saving you money while you're back on campus.

So, my fellow scholars, remember this little strategy when you're lucky enough to live close to your parents. It's a win-win situation—family time, savings, and a few extra goodies to make your university life a bit more comfortable.

11. Discipline yourself two months before your big trip

While our mission here is to help you maintain a healthy social life while sticking to your budget, we can't overlook the significance of the last two months leading up to your adventure.

Now, the timeline might vary depending on the duration of your trip, but these precious months are where the magic—or the challenge—happens. It's the time for unwavering discipline in the realm of saving money and budgeting, ensuring that your trip exceeds your expectations without financial hiccups.

So, how can you master this discipline? Let's explore some strategies. Consider temporarily limiting your outings to once a month. I know, it might seem like a daunting task, and yes, it might cause a bit of a stir among your friends. But fear not! There are alternatives to keep the social flame burning bright.

Host indoor activities with your pals—think cozy dinners or engaging card games. These gatherings not only preserve your social life but also contribute to your savings discipline. It's a win-win situation that ensures your travel fund stays intact.

In the grand scheme of your adventure, these last two months can make all the difference. So, stay committed, embrace the art of budgeting, and watch as your trip unfolds beyond your wildest dreams.

#traveling #saving money #south east asia #university #broke student

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nerdscollective · 2 years ago

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Finding Disney Vacation Club Benefits Just Got Easier

Being a part of the Disney Vacation Club and having access to all of its benefits and participating in experiences or products, can be what leads you to have a great holiday.

It’s able to offer you all sorts of passes and discounts that you’re able to use at Disney World, improving your experience with a smile.

If you’re wanting to find out how to get the full experience of Disney World, then continue reading this article, like DVC Resale Experts, about Disney Vacation Club benefits that you’re able to receive.

What Are The Main Benefits Of Being A Disney Vacation Club Member?

There are a lot of different benefits of being a part of the Disney Vacation Club. from discounts to restaurants or special events, access to annual passes, and so much more. Here are a couple of examples with more detail on what to expect with the Disney Vacation Club benefits:

Annual Pass:

One of the major benefits of being a Disney Vacation Club Member is having access to the annual pass. When it comes down to the best deal, and how much money you’re able to save during your annual pass, $400 or more per year of savings is worth it, don’t you think? Especially considering their platinum passes only save you $100!

Tickets:

Discounted tickets that are offered, even if they are time-to-time, by the DVC (Disney Vacation Club) are a major benefit when wanting to save money, and is how Disney sparks people to want to come in and use them.

Free Laundry:

At the resort, there’s a dedicated laundry facility that Disney Vacation Club members are able to use for their benefit. This can ultimately save you A LOT of money in the long run, and not have to worry about where or how you’re going to wash your clothes. If you’re staying for a long holiday at the resort, then this would be a major benefit for you.

Something to note is some bedrooms villas and other large rooms that they have to offer, also have their very own laundry for you to use.

Pools:

One of the most popular known reasons that people love to have Disney Vacation Club memberships is no matter the resort that they have been staying at, they’re able to use any pool over the entire resort.

This concept has been known for a very long time and can apply no matter how you purchase the membership. It’s one of the most prominent reasons that people even consider purchasing the benefits, as they’re able to move around the resort with mostly free reign.

There are however a few exemptions though. The pools that people, even with the passes, can’t use are; Bay Cove Pool at Bay Lake Tower, the leisure pool at Disney’s Beach Club Villas, Lava pool and the leisure pool at Polynesian Village, Copper Creek Springs Pool at Wilderness Lodge, Uzima Pool and Samawati Springs Pool at Animal Kingdom Lodge, Stormalong Bay at Yacht & Beach Club, and all pools at Art of Animation.

The only other reason you may not be able to use a specific pool is because of capacity issues from the number of people that would be in the pool at the time, and block-outs that are put in place during the busier times of Disney World.

Does Disney Vacation Club Benefit Members Get Free Dining?

The short answer is no, but technically yes. Disney Vacation Club benefits do not include getting free meals or dining experiences. The long answer, on the other hand, is you are able to discounts on different restaurants, some resorts, and springs that are on offer.

Discounts that apply to specific places across Disney World will be different in percentage depending on location and the restaurant or resort itself but typically average around 10%-20% off.

There is however a couple of ways that you can ensure you don’t spend as much money, saving it, and are able to use the Disney Vacation Club membership benefits in your best interest.

Specific parts of the resorts and hotels do offer free dining, however, this is not common and begins specifically in August or September, and sometimes December, being that they are the most common travel months.

The thing about these free dining experiences though, is you must be staying at one of the hotels that are actually eligible to give you said experience, as it’s a discount and often isn’t available.

Do Disney Vacation Club Benefit Members Have To Pay For Resort Parking?

Parking can be stressful, worrying about finding a park, and then worrying about how much parking is in the first place. It’s just too much worrying and too much stress that’s unneeded, especially on your holiday no less!

No matter whether you’re using vacation points or any other form of payment, Disney Vacation Club members get the absolute benefit of not having to pay for parking in the resort overnight. This also applies to the Walt Disney World resort hotel parking.

Disney Vacation Club members are able to enjoy free, complimentary self-parking of which when they’re staying at Disney World and have a reservation booked, so they’re able to shop, dine and enjoy other activities that the park has to offer, while not being subjected to the self-parking fees.

A fun fact for you is you’re actually able to upgrade your parking experience if you wanted to and have a valet manage and park your car for you, but this does cost to do so. This is subject to costs as well when wanting to have a valet park your car while you’re out and about enjoying the park experience, unlike when you park the car yourself and don’t have to pay the resort parking fee.

Final Thoughts

There are loads of different benefits when being a part of Disney Vacation Club, like the ones you can see on DVC Resale Experts, and how their overall point is to ensure your experience at Disney World is a happy one.

Overall discounts that apply to specific places across Disney World, restaurants, shops, etc, typically average around 10%-20% off for your convenience during your stay.

Source URL By: http://bit.ly/3HwXUnf

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glowingbadger · 3 years ago

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Can I get some SFW and nsfw modern day Kaeya and Diluc stuff? Ty ty!

Damn I hadn't even thought about ModernAU Genshin before lol should be interesting- lesgoooo~

Side note- Genshin refuses to make actual sense of any of the ages of its characters, so I'm going with, like... mid-20's, semi-recently out of college for these two.

Kaeya, Diluc x GN Reader - ModernAU! headcanons

SFW (nsfw below the cut)

Kaeya:

- He's in law school, and has a real knack for discovering hilarious and exploitable legal loopholes. It's also a field that suits him for a number of reasons- it makes use of his infectious natural charm, and keeps him entertained with the 'stories' you happen upon working with people's legal and personal problems. He's also the best dressed in any of his classes, and in any given courtroom. Those who know luxury clothing when they see it can't help incredulously wondering how he affords his wardrobe while still technically a student.

- Kaeya is such a shitposter. He habitually 'likes' any and everything you post on any and all social media platforms- but he'll also comment "mmm who's that sexy thing" beneath the most innocuous images of you. He sends you dumb memes at concerning hours of the night- frequently while intoxicated, and especially when you've had a stressful day.

- As a partner, Kaeya is surprisingly loyal. His friends (and yours) will joke about him being a total slut, how you must have to keep him on such a short leash. He doesn't take offense to this though, and in a way, he gets a kick out of being perceived this way. But in truth, since he's been with you, he's never once considered anyone else. When you're alone together, there's a warmth in his gaze and a gentleness to his touch that no one else has ever seen.

- Everywhere Kaeya goes, he seems to "know a guy." He's always got an in- and an elaborate story of how he met this person and why they're, frankly, worryingly open to doing him favors. It's rare that a date with Kaeya goes by without you being offered free drinks, free desserts, a better seat at a restaurant or theatre, etc. Generally, when pressed, he'll wave a hand and say, "Babe come on, you know me- I just love making friends." Though you've heard whispers that some of his "friends" are just people who can't afford to be on his bad side.

Diluc:

- Was on track to become a police officer for some time, but it took barely a month from completing his training for him to become entirely disillusioned with the entire system. He quit (bluntly and forcefully, I might add) and now works as a P.I. His quietly thoughtful and serious nature puts clients at ease while allowing him to examine each case efficiently and effectively. I also figure we'd still carry over the "bartending at night" angle from the games- it's a great way to network and gain intel while undercover.

- His phone is basically a device for work, the news, and sometimes for contacting you, and absolutely nothing else. He hates the constant noise of social media, and refuses to jump on trends when things move too fast to get meaningfully invested in anything. Still, while he tries to angle his screen so you won't see it, he has set a picture of you as his wallpaper.

- Diluc loves the quiet, domestic side of your relationship. He treasures things like cooking together, cuddling on the couch with a movie, or even working on chores and projects together. He comes from money (though he doesn't talk about it much), so the more down to earth life that he's made with you is precious to him, and he appreciates all of the little moments that reaffirm your bond. That said, he does have an excellent memory for things like birthdays, anniversaries and such, and he is not shy about spending some cash on such occasions.

- Your friends all think he's super hot (and they're right), but are also a bit intimidated by him. Once, you tried showing them a sweet message he sent you drowning in heart emojis and they insisted that couldn't be him. Now there's a running joke in your friend group about your secret side-guy who leaves you nice voicemails when you've had a bad day and has flowers sent to your work- since they're convinced someone as serious and put-together as Diluc couldn't be your incredibly affectionate boyfriend.

NSFW 18+ v

Kaeya:

- Kaeya loves showing you off, especially in an outfit he bought just for you. It seriously turns him on to watch you over a nice dinner out wearing something a bit risque that he selected for you, noting the appreciative glances in your direction from others nearby, and knowing that you're his. The way his line of sight wanders your body all night makes it exceedingly clear that he can't wait to tear that lovely outfit off of you when he has you alone.

- Definitely the adventurous and experimental sort when it comes to kink, and he especially enjoys a bit of exhibitionism or semi-public fooling around. During a similar date night, with you looking so positively delicious across the table, he'll watch with a wolfish smirk as you squirm from the vibrations of a toy he pushed inside of you earlier that evening. He reclines in his seat and levels his gaze on you, saying, "My, darling, are you feeling alright? You look a bit flushed..." as his hand fiddles with the toy's remote. Then, once he gets you home or- even better -to a hotel, he'll press you against the window as he fucks you into panting, mindless bliss. Sometimes he doesn't even want to wait that long, and he'll find somewhere to park his car and fuck you in his back seat

- Kaeya has sending dick pics and lewd selfies down to an art. Seriously, his pictures are beautiful- of course helped by the fact that his body is gorgeous as well. Naturally, he loves to receive erotic images of you as well, and will save each and every one of them for "later use." If you're into it, he'll gladly send you a video of himself stroking his cock just for you, while describing every filthy thing he imagines doing to you in explicit detail.

Diluc:

- Generally speaking, Diluc wants to wine and dine you before the spicy business. He's a romantic at heart, and he wants you to know that he adores every part of you- and your body just happens to be one item on that list. He's not as obvious with his desires as some, but lingering gazes across the dinner table, or a hand at the small of your back trailing around your waist, all make his intentions clear. There's no doubt your lovely evening together will end with his strong body pressing you against his matress, his lips at your throat and your thighs clinging around his hips.

- He's generally fairly private about his sex life- not shy, per say, but insistent that your mutual pleasure is something for only the two of you. He's also not likely to sext or send lewd photos unless you really, really want them (and he's kind of adorably awkward about it at first even if he does try for you)- but if you tease him by sending him something naughty, his mind short circuits. His face burns crimson and he stops whatever he was doing and just stares at your beautiful body on the screen, as though he can already feel you in his hands.

- Diluc is a busy man, so there's likely to be stretches when the time and energy for sex simply isn't there. But once he's wrapped up a case and he finally has some time to breathe, you can bet he'll lift you into his arms and carry you to the bedroom the first chance he gets. You might even start to suspect that it's a way for him to vent his work stress when his thick cock pounds into you so nice and steady and deep- but you're certainly not about to complain, especially when you've been without him for so long.

#genshin impact #modern au #kaeya #diluc #kaeya x reader #diluc x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact smut #fluff and smut #genshin impact headcanons #genshin not sfw

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pettyrevenge-base · 3 years ago

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Insult your head closer instead of give a raise? Yeah, sure, there's no way that'll backfire.

In the late 90's I worked at a Subway restaurant; specifically closing shift. That'll be relevant later. At the time I was paid somewhere between 7 and 8 bucks an hour, a good chunk more than minimum wage, and had me bringing my A game every day. I knew it was "just fast food", but I took pride in my work. I showed up early, always covered when people called in, followed the recipes (even the really anal stuff like two slices of black olive per 6" sub unless the customer specifically requests more, etc.) By all accounts, I was a model employee. Plus since I worked alone I was the de facto shift supervisor. That's gotta be worth something. I figured I'd ask the regional manager for a raise. (Store manager didn't have the authority.) The worst he can do is say no, right?

Wrong.

Turns out the worst he can do is insult me and everyone else that works there. He was in one day and I made my pitch. He just went off on me, raising his voice shy of a full yell and saying something like "If you were worth more, you wouldn't be working here. You're replaceable, now go away and don't ever speak to me again. I'm the regional manager, and I'm actually important, you just make sandwiches and scrub toilets." Again, not the exact words, but he did make those points quite clearly. I remember being shocked into silence at such a cartoonish display of arrogance coming out of a balding middle-aged man. First time I'd ever encountered a .50 caliber douchebag. I didn't even specify an amount, I just asked for a raise. He could've given me a nickel, or even made something up like "I'm sorry wages are set by corporate, I can't do it" and while I'd have been disappointed I'd have accepted it. But no, his response to the very concept of any raise was a pretentious, self-righteous indictment against the value of every Subway employee that wasn't management. Or probably him specifically. I'd genuinely enjoyed working there, right up until that watershed moment.

OK Cheese-Dick, if that's how you want it, fine. I'll get mine, one way or another. I take pride in my work, but 7-something an hour isn't enough to engender any further loyalty after you so flippantly insulted me and everyone working for you.

Up until that point I had been meticulous about everything I did at work. Like I mentioned earlier closing shift was a one-man show, which meant I had no supervision. My effectiveness was judged based on the accuracy of my inventory numbers, counting my till, my clock-out times, and whether everything was in order when the openers arrived in the morning. I knew a few tricks to offset inventory, which allowed me to take home food without it being noticed. (Ring up a small soda as a cheese round since they were both 89 cents, etc.) On a good night I'd take home a dozen or more footlong subs. On a bad night, I'd just make sandwiches with the loaf of bread I brought from home. I'd also bring in a bunch of empty bottles or jugs, and fill them from the fountain after clocking out. I'd dump entire cambros full of meat, veggies and cheese into a bag to take home. Sometimes I'd bake an oven full of cookies with the express purpose of taking them, if I could do so without using up the rest of a box. (Because a box with one raw cookie was counted the same as an unopened box.)

The moment he made it clear what I was worth to him, I started looking for a different job. If he'd given me a token 3% cost of living increase, it'd have amounted to maybe 25 cents per hour. They had me working around 30-35 hours a week, just below "full time", so it would've amounted to under 9 bucks a week. Hell, he could've even offered a sincere apology and no raise and I would've kept on with it. Instead for the last few months I worked there, every single night I took home what probably amounted to a couple hundred dollars worth of potential sales. Every. Single. Night.

At the time my friends and I, being late teens/early 20's, were still in the party phase of our lives. So every night I worked for those last months I'd roll up just as the party was getting wild, with a bunch of sandwiches, cookies, gallons of soda, etc. Those few months doing the bare minimum and sponging off that dead-end job were way more satisfying than giving my all for 7 and change for an insufferable bag of septic slop.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

#pettyrevenge #lol #omg

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abramsbooks · 3 years ago

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RECIPE: Pasta Pomodoro (from Peace, Love, and Pasta by Scott Conant)

Without further ado: my greatest hit, the dish I’m asked to trot out everywhere I go. What makes my version of the most classic Italian pasta preparation so crave-able is, I think, that it’s the sum of a lot of parts treated with respect: the truly fresh tomatoes, the unhurried 45-minute cook time, and the inclusion of butter, which rounds out the acidity of the tomatoes and olive oil in the finish. (Finishing pasta with a touch of butter is a trick from restaurant kitchens that’s easy to do at home and adds depth to the overall flavor of the dish.) No single detail is the secret weapon per se—and nothing about this recipe is hard to do—but the key is not cutting any corners, because in a dish this straightforward, every nuance counts.

Note: The sauce recipe makes double what you’ll need for the finished dish, but I do not recommend cutting it down because you need that volume of ingredients to get the flavor right. There are lots of other uses for this sauce in the book, including Eggs in Purgatory, Eggplant Caponata, and as a base for the Spinach and Ricotta Gnudi and the Pork Ragù in this chapter.

Serves 6 Makes about 2 quarts/liters

5 pounds (2.3 kg) ripe plum or Roma tomatoes

1½ teaspoons kosher salt, plus more to taste

4 cloves garlic, peeled

¼ cup (60 ml) extra-virgin olive oil

1 teaspoon crushed red pepper

1 cup (40 g) loosely packed fresh basil leaves

Prepare a pot of boiling water and an ice bath. Core the tomatoes, cut a small x on the bottom, then blanch the tomatoes in the boiling water for 1 minute and, using a slotted spoon or a spider, transfer them to the ice bath. When cool enough to handle, remove the skins with a paring knife and discard them. Slice the tomatoes in half and strain through a fine-mesh sieve set over a bowl. Discard the seeds but reserve the liquid. Combine the deseeded, peeled tomatoes, reserved juice, and salt in a large bowl. Mix the salt into the tomatoes and set aside.

Place the garlic in a saucepan, cover with the olive oil, and cook over very low heat until the garlic is golden and soft, about 20 minutes. (Watch it carefully, and shake the pan occasionally to make sure the garlic doesn’t burn.) Strain and reserve the garlic-infused oil. (Save the garlic cloves for another use, such as the roasted garlic spread.)

In a large heavy-bottomed stockpot, cook the red pepper flakes in the infused garlic oil over low heat for about 2 minutes, until the red pepper flakes become fragrant and the flavor starts to bloom. Add the salted tomatoes and tomato liquid to the pot and raise the heat to medium-high. Bring the liquid to a slight boil and skim off the foam that rises to the top. Reduce the heat to medium low, and then, using a potato masher, mash the tomatoes very finely as they cook. Simmer until the sauce is reduced by one-fourth, about 25 to 30 minutes, then taste and adjust the seasoning with salt.

Remove from heat and stir in the basil. Prepare with pasta, or cover and store until ready to use. (The sauce can be kept in the refrigerator in an airtight container for up to a week, or in the freezer for about 1 month. Cool the sauce to room temperature before storing it.)

From award-winning chef and Food Network personality Scott Conant, a cookbook of restaurant-quality Italian meals that you can make easily in your home kitchen

Thirty-five years into an illustrious career of restaurant openings across the country, widespread acclaim, and frequent appearances on the Food Network’s Chopped and many other shows, Scott Conant has returned home to create his most personal cookbook yet. Meals cooked from simple, fresh ingredients were staples of Conant’s childhood in a New England family with roots in Southern Italy. From his grandparents’ garden to the dinner table, he learned early on to appreciate the nuances of different flavors and ingredients, and the strong connection between food and family.

Focusing on these foods Conant grew up with and the ones he makes for his loved ones today, Peace, Love, and Pasta compiles simple, fresh, and flavorful Italian recipes for the home cook to bring to their own family’s table. These recipes are built on the art of cooking for love, fascination with flavors and ingredients, and the simple pleasures of taste and conviviality.

For more information, click here.

#abramsbooks #abrams books #peace love and pasta #peace love pasta #scott conant #food network #chopped #pasta recipe #pasta pomodoro #recipe #free recipe

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scriptmedic · 5 years ago

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COVID

Or, How to Abandon Pants & Save the World at the Same Time

Hey all. Seems like it’s getting tough out there.

Seems like shit is getting really real, really fast.

I’m here in New York, doing ICU transfers for one of the hospital systems, and I can’t lie to you... it’s bad.

We’re storing bodies in refrigerated trailers because the morgues are full.

The City is reopening potter’s fields and digging mass graves.

Hundreds of people a day are dying. Soon, thousands.

Mostly older. Some previously-healthy adults. Mercifully, not many kids.

It’s real, and it’s bad.

But I promise you, the world is not ending.

And I also promise you this post will end with HOPE, even if it’s hard to read.

But I want to talk about something... a misconception I’ve been seeing over and over again.

We are NOT the “Front Line.”

I keep hearing the term “front line responders” used for our nurses... doctors... PAs...

Bullshit.

We’re the LAST line.

We’re the failsafe. The oh-shit, I can’t-fix-this-any-other-way line.

We’re the everything else has gone wrong line.

The FIRST line of defense against COVID is YOU.

You, sitting at home, wondering how the world will ever get back to normal.

You, hoping that your job will still be there in a week, a month, a year.

You, resisting the urge to walk the dog again because you’re bored.

YOU are the ones who are going to make the difference in how many people live, and how many die.

Not us. Not your health professionals.

YOU.

How You Can Stay Safe & Save the World

I want to talk about something .... RISK.

A lot of people I know are pretty risk-tolerant. We’re young, we’re healthy, and if we DO get COVID, it will likely just seem like a cough, or even like... ...nothing.

Here’s the problem.

There are a LOT of people testing positive (in countries doing mass testing, i.e. not here) who had NO IDEA they were infected.

It’s called being an Asymptomatic Carrier.

So even if you literally do not care if you get COVID...

Even if you feel completely fine...

ACT LIKE YOU HAVE IT ANYWAY. Act like ANYONE you come into contact with could die if your breath touches their skin, their mouth, their nose.

Act like everyone you meet is your granny, or your mom, who’s sick. Someone you love.

It’s not about YOUR health, it’s about EVERYONE’S health.

I’ve put together a few guidelines to help you stay safe AND save the world.

I’m about 6 feet tall... ...so remember to keep a distance of 1 (one) Scripty apart from each other. NO EXCEPTIONS (unless you’re fluid-bonded with someone).

Wear a mask in public, even if you have to make it yourself. No, this does not mean you can violate social distancing! REMEMBER -- KEEP ONE SCRIPTY APART, MINIMUM! Yes, I know masks are direly hard to come by. Yes, I know they’re uncomfortable. Yes, I know they make it hard to breathe. I am literally wearing TWO OF THEM at the same time, between 40-60 hours per week. WEAR ONE ANYWAY. Not on your chin... Not hanging off of one ear... Over your nose AND your mouth. .

If you can’t find a mask, DO NOT cough out of your facehole. The correct direction to cough is due elbow. Then make sure you SCRUB dat bendy boi. .

Scrub dem grippy bois Hand wash for 20 seconds. Make sure you’re getting between your fingers, under your nails, and around your wrists. Sing Happy Birthday to yourself. Just like the Mars Rover did. .

STAY. THE FUCK. HOME. I know you miss normal life. Time with your friends. Visiting your family. I miss it too. I would LOVE to spend time in a park, to go hiking again, to go back to my GYM, to just... live my freaking life. There are SO many people I’m craving hugs from. But here’s the truth. THE MORE YOU STAY HOME NOW, THE SOONER THINGS CAN GET BACK TO NORMAL. I CANNOT stress this enough. Staying home is saving lives. Period. Full stop. I don’t know the last time I saved a life with no pants on, but you can. Right now. TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS AND STAY HOME AND YOU WILL SAVE LIVES I PROMISE. (it’s okay to save lives with pants on tho. your roof, your rules.)

I promised you this post would end with HOPE.

Here’s the thing...

Yes, a lot of people are going to die.

Yes, a LOT of people are going to be out of a job in the short term.

Yes, this really is THAT BAD. .

AND.

Everything in Nature has a niche. Something it’s better at than anything else.

Dogs? Dogs are the best on the planet at loving people. (That’s the #1 reason we bred them from wolves -- because they loved us.)

But humans do ONE THING way, WAY above and beyond ANY of our competition.

WE ADAPT.

We are the adaptivist motherfucking species on Planet Earth.

We live in more environments than any other warm-blooded species I know of.

We got cold... so we figured out how to make fire.

We got hot... so we learned to harvest ice, and then to MAKE ice, and then to make air conditioners.

Our food was going bad... so we made iceboxes, and then refrigerators, and then takeout (because we got too lazy to cook).

The point is, we ADAPT.

We adapted to the influenza pandemic in 1918, twenty years before we ever saw a virus under a microscope.

We adapted to smallpox... and then fucking eradicated it. Smallpox literally no longer exists because we decided we’d had enough of it.

We CAN and we ARE and we WILL adapt to COVID, too.

Smart motherfuckers are making vaccines.

Recovering patients are donating antibodies to help save lives while the smart motherfuckers get their shit in gear.

And y’all are STEPPING the FUCK UP.

My heart is overloaded with love and appreciation.

For grocery store workers. Supply chain workers. Truckers. Food service workers.

For all the people who can’t stay home.

I nearly cried saying thank-you to a barista about an hour ago because a cup of coffee was enough to make me feel human.

You’re busy praising us in the health care trenches, but the truth is, we owe our ability to live our lives right now to you.

To the guy busting his ass in a restaurant for less than minimum wage.

To the girl making round after round of deliveries even though she’s tired AF.

To the people who are keeping us going.

And most especially, to those who might have the hardest job of all...

...the people who are staying the fuck home.

I love each and every one of you.

And it’s gonna be tough. It’s gonna be tough for a WHILE. (This is a marathon, not a sprint.)

But we will get through this together.

You... me... everyone.

So, so, SO much fucking love,

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

#COVID #COVID-19

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babymetaldoll · 4 years ago

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Spencer Reid first official Valentine's day (Spencer Reid/ Reader)

Requested: Nop

Summary: Spencer has no idea what to do for Valentine's Day. After all, he has never had a girlfriend before.

Category: Hardcore fluff

Warnings: Nope

Word count: 3,8K

Masterlist

A/N: Happy Valentine's day, everybody! Treat yourselves! Love yourselves and enjoy this fluff!! Love you all!!

February 7th. Quantico.

There are many things you can say about Spencer Reid. He is a genius. Has an IQ of 187, can read over 20 thousand words per minute. He has one of the most demanding and dangerous jobs in the world. He saves lives for a living.

And he has no idea what to do for Valentine's.

In his defense, he has never celebrated Valentine's day before, ever. In his entire life. And he is excited to share that special date with his girlfriend, (Y/N). But he has been pressuring himself so much in the last days, trying to find the most romantic plan humankind had ever seen. He is, in fact, going insane.

- "Hey lover boy,"- Morgan found Reid all alone in the bullpen, sipping his second cup of coffee of the day.

- "Are you ready for Valentine's?"- and the only answer Spencer could give his friend was a frustrated groan.

- "I'm taking that as a no"- Derek raised an eyebrow and sat on his friend's desk- "What is it?"

- "I just don't know what to do to make that day special for (Y/N),"- Spencer whispered- "We've been dating for a month, three days and..."- he took a look at his wristwatch- "Eleven hours. And I want our first Valentine's day together the most romantic day of her life."

Morgan widened his eyes and looked at his friend. He had always seen Reid as his kid brother, and he felt it was his duty to help him in life. Whether it was to help him overcome his fear of talking to girls, catching unsubs, questioning suspects, or getting drunk. Whatever Spencer needed him for, he was there. This wasn't going to be the exception.

- "What do you have in mind that might be special for her?"- Morgan whispered and took a look around. Prentiss and (Y/N) were just stepping out of the elevator with Garcia. The three of them stayed talking in the hall for a few minutes, giving Spencer time to answer.

- "Nothing I can think of seems good enough"- he whispered- "I need to find something that shows her how much she means. Movies and chocolates just won't do it."

Morgan nodded and looked at Reid. He was about to chuckle and tease him a little, just playing, when (Y/N) showed up next to them, with a huge grin.

- "Good morning, guys!"- she smiled at Derek and handed Spencer a small paper bag- "For your coffee, doctor."

- "Thank you."

Reid blushed and opened the bag. Inside there was a red velvet cupcake with little heart-shaped sprinkles on top. He stared at it, not knowing what to say. (Y/N) just giggled and walked to her desk.

Spencer and (Y/N) had been acting like teenagers since they started dating. It wasn't just the fact they were young, 'cos they were, both of them 27 and 25 years old respectively. It was how the two of them had been crazy in love with each other for the last two years, and neither of them had acted on it until Spencer nearly died of anthrax.

It's crazy how one of them had almost to die to realize it was time to face their feelings.

And now, they were finally dating.

Spencer had never been happier. No one who knew him could deny it. He would laugh all the time and make jokes with his friends. He never stayed at the BAU working extra hours anymore, 'cos now he and (Y/N) had a date almost every day when they weren't on a case.

Spencer had never felt this way. He had never thought he deserved to be this happy. That is why he was having such a hard time finding the perfect Valentine's gift for (Y/N).

He didn't just want to. His whole body felt he needed to show (Y/N) how much she meant for him in every way possible.

But he had never had a girlfriend before, and he had never celebrated Valentine's day. Needless to say, he felt he was clueless.

February 12th.

- "Hey, Pretty Ricky"- Morgan sat with Reid on the jet back home after a case and handed him a handwritten paper.

- "What's this?"- Spencer furrowed his eyes and took a look around. (Y/N) had fallen asleep talking with Prentiss at the other side of the jet.

- "I've been thinking about what we talked about the other day, about Valentine's day. And I think I've got the answer."- Reid took a look at the paper and frowned. An address and an hour.

- "Be there tomorrow at that time, and you'll get all the help you need"- Spencer stared at Morgan, confused.

- "At Rossi's? Why?"

- "Trust me, kid. The man is an institution of romance. If there's someone who can help you surprise (Y/N), that's him".

Reid wasn't comfortable thinking Morgan had been talking about this love life with someone else. Then again, he was pretty excited he had a love life after all those years. And, if Rossi could help him, Spencer couldn't really say no. After all, he needed all the help he could use.

- "Are you ok?"- (Y/N) asked Spencer and cut him a short nervous smile as she drove him to his apartment after landing. He had been acting a little off for the last couple of days, and she still couldn't figure out what was going on.

- "Yes. Just tired"- he answered, almost under breath.

- "Do you wanna hang out? Maybe pizza, beer... any movie or documentary you might like to see?- but Spencer just shook his head and kept looking outside.

- "I'm sorry, I'm tired after the case."

- "Sure, that's ok."- (Y/N) sighed and kept her eyes on the road.

- "I'm"- Spencer tried to explain- "I am really just tired, there's nothing wrong or weird going on."

- "Yeah, of course"- (Y/N) smiled again and continued driving- "You'd tell me if there was anything wrong."

- "Yeah! definitely."

As a profiler, (Y/N) knew Spencer was hiding something. As his girlfriend, she had to pretend she didn't know she was lying. She trusted Reid, so she wanted to think he was honestly affected after the case. They hadn't slept well those days, either of them. It had been a hard couple of days. Maybe Spencer just needed to rest. Perhaps in the morning, he was going to be his regular adorable self again.

- "Call me when you get home, ok?"- Spencer leaned in and kissed (Y/N) lips goodbye as soon as she parked outside his building. (Y/N) nodded and kissed him again. His hands cupped her face in a second, holding her close to him for a moment longer.

- "Are you sure you don't wanna eat something?"- (Y/N) murmured against his lips.

- "Yeah... about that... I don't know if it's too obvious or if I have to ask, but... would you like to go out with me on Valentine's day?"

Spencer was nervous to ask his girl out. He couldn't be more adorable even if he tried. And (Y/N) knew it.

- "I already had plans for that day"- (Y/N) shrugged and shook her head

- "Really? What? Why, I mean, I understand...?"- Spencer wasn't even sure what he was saying. He wasn't waiting for that answer.

- "Yeah, I saved the date over a month ago, to spend it with my boyfriend, Reid"- and she stuck out her tongue to him, giggling- "You should've seen your face. Are you ok?"

- "I hate you"- Reid bit his lips and chuckled

- "No, you don't,"- (Y/N) joked and kissed his lips for a second- "So, see you tomorrow?"

- "Yes"- Spencer kissed her one more time, and this time, he bit her lips as he slowly moved apart.

- "So next date is our Valentine's date?"- she pouted- "No cuddles until then?"- and Spencer shook his head- "You are no fun."

- "You are gonna have to wait"- he kissed her again, this time a little slower, feeling how she kept trying to move closer to him from the driver's seat.

- "I don't wanna wait."

- "It will be worth the wait. I promise"- Spencer looked at her with such love, (Y/N) held her breath, unable to talk. She just nodded- "Call me when you get home, ok?"

- "Yes"- Spencer kissed her one last time and got off the car, whispering to himself.

- "Ok, now I really need a good plan."

Remember Spencer had been pressuring himself, trying to find the most romantic plan humankind had ever seen?

Now the pressure was massive, 'cos he had actually told (Y/N) he had an incredible plan.

- "Why did I have to open my mouth?!"

February 13th. At Rossi's.

- "Kid, here is the best advice you've ever heard for love"- Rossi poured a glass of red wine for himself and Spencer as the two of them stood in his kitchen. David was about to start a cooking lesson, and Reid was prepared to take notes. Literally. He was holding a pen and a notebook.

- "You will always know nothing"- Reid stopped writing after the second word and looked at Rossi, already annoyed.

- "What?"

- "Sorry, kid. I know you love to learn, and that's a good thing 'cos you will always learn something new when it comes to love. You will never fully understand it. Look at me, three marriages in, and I still have no idea what I'm doing."

- "I was promised a talk with a master of romance. I feel disappointed."- Spencer complained, and David chuckled- "No offense, Rossi, but I was sure you were going to know a lot more than you are telling me right now."

- "The things I know, I can not teach you. You don't learn things about love. You learn about the people you love. That's why you will never know it all. Sure. I can tell you the basics: flowers, restaurants, presents. But the key for romance is knowing the woman you love."

Reid just nodded in silence and tried to make a mental list of everything he knew about (Y/N). That was a lot of information.

Rossi smiled, thinking when he returned to the BAU, he never imagined he was ever going to end up having a kid. Because that's how he felt about Spencer sometimes. Like he was his kid, and he loved to teach him things he wished someone had told him. For example, how to surprise your girlfriend on Valentine's day.

- "The second most important advice I am going to give you today is this: you always cook with the same wine you drink"- Rossi raised his glass and sipped it- "Perfecto! Now let's make risotto!

After that evening with Rossi, Spencer felt a lot more confident about his Valentine's plans. He would cook dinner for his girlfriend, which was (according to what he had talked with David) one of the most romantic things anyone could do for their partner. And considering (Y/N) had always cooked for Spencer, even when they were just friends, he wanted to make her feel as loved as he felt each time she cooked his favorite dish for him.

But also, after cooking and having dinner with Rossi, Spencer was feeling a little drunk. That wine tasting had been a little.... excessive, maybe? Four bottles of wine didn't seem disproportionate at the moment, but Spencer realized it might have been too much on the cab back home.

- "Hello, gorgeous"- because suddenly, Spencer was doing his first drunk dial- "What are you doing up so late?"

- "Spencer, are you ok? It's two in the morning. Where are you?"

- "I'm on my way back home, and I was thinking about you and all the fun we are going to have tomorrow. But tomorrow is now"

(Y/N) sat on her bed and scratched her head confused, and still half asleep.

- "What are you talking about, honey?"

- "Tomorrow is Valentine's day, but tomorrow is right now!"

- "Spencer Walter Reid, are you drunk?"

- "No! no way! Why are you middle naming me for?"- his voice was a pitch higher as he tried to deny the truth.

- "Where were you?"

- "At Rossi's"- Reid couldn't lie. Not only because he was drunk and there was no way he could come up with any weird story, but also because he couldn't lie to (Y/N).

- "We had a wine tasting and a long conversation about what went south with each one of his relationships. Statistically, that man should be studied. I wanted to offer myself to do a little research until I remembered you said sometimes people don't share their feelings to be analyzed, but because they need to take them off their chest. So I just nodded and told him he is an amazing person. Which he is! Did you know he is friends with Ringo Star?

- "No way!"- (Y/N) tried not to laugh, but drunk Spencer was too amusing- "What else did you talk about?"

- "You"- Spencer confessed and sighed- "We talked about you, and how wonderful you are"

(Y/N) nearly choked when she heard Spencer saying those words so easily. Like it wasn't something it had taken years for him to confess. Like she hadn't waited years for him to tell her how he felt for her.

- "Are you in a cab?"- she asked and changed the subject.

- "No, I just got off the cab... hold it"- Spencer thanked the driver and paid for the ride- "And I am about to walk into my building."

- "Good! so, tomorrow, what's the plan?"

- "Dinner"- Spencer chuckled- "Here, with me."

- "Are you going to cook for me, Spencer Reid?"

- "I don't know. Maybe I'll cover myself in Nutella and give myself to you for dessert."

(Y/N) didn't know what to answer at that. Not only Spencer had never said anything as bold as that, but... they hadn't even had sex yet. And now (Y/N) couldn't stop thinking about licking Nutella off Spencer's body. Hopefully, that was indeed their Valentine's plan.

- "You should go to bed"- that was all (Y/N) could answer- "And I'll see you tomorrow... at what time?"

- "Six, princess. I'll be waiting for you at six"- Princess. That was new too.

- "Ok, honey. Drink lots of water when you get home."

- "I'm home!"- Spencer announced, and (Y/N) heard his keys falling on what she hoped was a table.

- "Great, now drink water, brush your teeth and sleep well. Ok, honey?"

- "Yes, sunshine!"- (Y/N) giggled and shook her head.

- "Goodnight, Spencer. I'll see you tomorrow."

- "At six, bub"- he repeated.

- "Yes. I'll be there at six. Goodnight"

- "Sleep tight, love of my life"- (Y/N) giggled and sighed. She really didn't know how to answer those words. (Y/N) knew Spencer was drunk, which was the only explanation for his cheesy nicknames... cheesy nicknames she loved.

- "Sleep tight, my sweet prince,"- she whispered and hung down the phone.

That had been interesting. Now, how was (Y/N) going to shake off the image of Spencer covered in Nutella, asking her to lick him?

Seriously, how?

February 14th

Spencer Reid was slightly hungover, and the conversation he had had with (Y/N) on the phone the night before was a blur in his mind.

None of that stopped him from getting up early to clean the house and going to the grocery store to get everything he needed to cook dinner for his girlfriend.

But not only that, but he also sent her flowers to her house early morning and breakfast from her favorite coffee shop.

Reid had never had a girlfriend for Valentine's day, and he finally had someone to share everything he always dreamt of doing on February 14th.

Spencer Reid was a hopeless romantic. No one could ever doubt that. No one actually knew that either. It was a well-kept secret between him and (Y/N).

- "Thank you for the flowers"- (Y/N) texted and stared at the gigantic bouquet on her table- "And breakfast."

- "Dinner is going to be way better,"- Spencer answered and smiled, pleased with his romantic techniques. Rossi would be proud. He took a mental note to write Rossi a thank you note if things went well that night.

Of course, things were going to be ok. Why wouldn't they? All Spencer had to do was keep calm, cook, and have a great time with his girlfriend.

Around four, Spencer started getting ready. First, he set the table for two, in the most romantic way he could, after googling "romantic table setting for two at home." The fact he had actually googled something would have been enough for (Y/N) to feel the most special woman on earth for Spencer. But she wasn't going to find out about that yet.

Spencer cooked dessert and made sure the champagne was cold. Then, he set some appetizers: Strawberries covered in chocolate to help the brain produce serotonin. And watermelon and prosciutto skewers. Spencer knew watermelon contains citrulline, which increases nitric oxide levels in the body, relaxing blood vessels and speeding up circulation to produce arousal. Basically, he was making sure blood was getting to all the right places, just in case.

After that, Reid took a long shower. He wasn't waiting to get laid that night. But a part of him needed to be prepared. He was getting his house ready for romance, after all.

Once he was dressed, combed (sort of), and ready, Reid started cooking. First, he chopped all the veggies, settled everything he would need, and read (again) the notes he had taken from Rossi's cooking class.

- "First, heat the extra virgin olive oil in a medium heavy-based saucepan."- he commanded himself.

- "Add the onion and celery and sweat until softened"- he did as told and steered the veggies in the pan

- "Why would they call it "sweat"? Are the vegetables actually sweating? who would come up with that concept?"

Spencer kept rambling for a few minutes until he noticed his pan looked exactly like Rossi's had. Reid was pleased.

- "Stir in the rice with a wooden spoon and coat each grain with the oil. Then, add the wine and allow it to evaporate."

The wine. Why did he drink so much wine the night before? It was a miracle he didn't do anything stupid, like dialing (Y/N)'s number just to call her "princess..."

- "Fuck!!"- Reid nearly yelled.

It was all Rossi's fault. What was that stupid thing he said? "Wine prepares the heart for love." Well, clearly, after all the wine they drank the night before, Spencer had been ready for love. So prepared, in fact, he had called (Y/N) "Love of my life," "Bub," and "Princess."

That shouldn't be so embarrassing, considering they were already dating, right? Right.

- "She is your girlfriend! You can call her cute names!"- he repeated himself- "Get your shit together, Reid!"

Yes. He had already called her "gorgeous" a few times before. For Christ's sakes, he had kissed her, and he had touched her (a little, and just upon her clothes). But there was no way he could or should be embarrassed to call her cute names!

Spencer was embarrassed anyway, and he couldn't shake the thought off his mind for the next half hour. Not until he heard a knock on the door.

(Y/N) was there.

It was on. Spencer's first official Valentine's celebration was about to start. And there was no way he felt ready for it.

- "Hello!"- (Y/N) said and smiled when her boyfriend opened the door for her.

- "Hi"- he whispered and held his breath for a few seconds- "You look so pretty."

- "Thank you... so do you"- and neither of them was moving. They just stared and smiled until (Y/N) asked.

- "Can I come in?"

- "Sorry!"

Spencer mentally slapped himself and invited (Y/N) in as she giggled and took off her coat. She was wearing the most flattering velvet dress. According to Reid, she looked so good, he forgot how to breathe for a second.

- "Are you ok?"- (Y/N) asked him, and he just nodded- "What are you cooking? it smells amazing."

- "It's a surprise,"- Reid answered flirtatiously and held (Y/N)'s hand- "Can I get you something to drink?"

- "Yes, please,"- she answered and bit her lips for a moment, staring at the man in front of her. Spencer caressed her cheek softly for a moment before leaning in and kissing her sweetly.

- "Happy Valentine's day, Spencer,"- she murmured

- "Happy Valentine's day, (Y/N),"- he answered, resting his forehead against hers, closing his eyes, enjoying that moment of love. Reid wasn't used to feeling like that too often, and he decided to hold it.

Dinner was a success. (Y/N) was in awe with everything Spencer had prepared for her. It wasn't just the fact dinner was delicious, but also the cooking class with Rossi and how thoughtful he had been with everything he had done for her.

That man deserved the best Valentine's ever, and the present and card she had gotten for him didn't feel like enough.

- "I hope you don't mind, but I got dessert,"- (Y/N) said and giggled, staring at her boyfriend, who was just walking to the dining room holding two cups of tiramisu.

- "What? Why? you didn't need to bring anything, I just..."

- "Well, after last night's call, I couldn't stop thinking about this...."

(Y/N) opened her purse, took out a big Nutella jar, and placed it on Spencer's table. He stared at it, not getting what it meant for a moment.

- "Why are you...."- until it hit him- "Oh... ooh!!"- and Spencer's cheeks were burning red in less than a second.

- "I didn't know if you meant it, but it sounded like a good dessert"- (Y/N) smiled and poked out her tongue as she finished talking.

- "I actually..."- Spencer's brain shut down for a few seconds as he realized what he had actually imagined doing with (Y/N) might even be real that night.

- "I like your idea way better than the tiramisu"- that was all he managed to say and looked at (Y/N) standing up, walking towards him slowly. She dipped her finger in the Nutella and spread a little on his lips, to then lick it, very gently.

- "Technically, it was your idea. You suggested it. I just brought the Nutella"- she whispered and looked at Spencer, who was utterly paralyzed.

Reid needed a few seconds to gather his thoughts again, but it was totally worthy when he did.

He held (Y/N) close and deepened the kiss, feeling her moan against his lips.

- "You don't mind the germs that might..."- but she was cut off immediately by Spencer's rushed words.

- "I give a shit about all the germs in the world right now."- and all (Y/N) could do was giggle, staring into his eyes.

- "Happy Valentine's Reid."

*****

Taglist

@all-tings-diego @calm-and-doctor

#Spencer Reid #Matthew Gray Gubler #Criminal Minds #Spencer Reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #fluff #criminal minds fanfic #mgg #spencer reid x reader #doctor spencer reid #babymetaldoll writes

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terubakudan · 3 years ago

Text

This may be an old article from 3 years ago, but these cultural aspects/observations still apply even today. And though this is strictly a Chinese perspective, a lot of these everyday life bits are observed in Overseas Chinese communities in countries such as The Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, etc. as well as countries heavily influenced by Chinese culture like Taiwan, Japan, and Korea.

I've always liked learning about other cultures and making comparisons between how things are done East vs West. Which probably stems from growing up with two cultures and Mom raising me on American movies xD

So the irony is if you asked me how many Chinese, Taiwanese, or Hong Kong actors I know, chances are I know as much as you do xD Like Jackie Chan, Andy Lau, and that's about it. But if you asked me about Western (specifically American and British) actors, then I have a useless brain dump of movie trivia and who was with who in what movie xD

Hmmm, both Taiwan and the Philippines are two distinct cultures but both look up to a certain country and are fascinated by that. In Taiwan's case, Japan and the US for the Philippines. In both cases, this is due to being under the rule of those countries in their history. Taiwan being under Japan for 50 years, and the Philippines being under Spain for 300+ years, followed by periods of American and Japanese rule. To put it simply though:

Taiwan is "mini-Japan with a very Chinese culture".

The Philippines is "former colony of Spain with lots of American influences".

But unlike the author, I've never set foot in any Western country, so my understandings are strictly what I've observed in media, which while it can be accurate, doesn't compare to actually experiencing the culture.

Some further elaboration on most points:

#1 We quite literally use chopsticks for everything. We use it to pick rice, viands, vegetables, fruit, smaller desserts, almost all the food you can think of.

But where do you put your chopsticks when you're not using them? Just put them on top of your bowl or flat on your plate. But do not ever stick them vertically. It's taboo, since it looks like incense sticks, which we use to pray for those who have passed, like our ancestors or during funerary services.

#3 The majority of Asia is obsessed with fair/white skin. In my time at the Philippines, I grew up watching all these Dove Whitening commercials and my classmates often commented on how fair my skin was, how they envied it etc. In Taiwan, girls often say they don't want to 變黑 (biàn hēi) 'become dark'. Japan and Korea too are not innocent of this either (if their beauty/skin products weren't a dead giveaway).

People here at Taiwan often mistake me for being from Hong Kong or Japan (as long as I don't speak Mandarin with my heavy accent xD). A Taiwanese classmate of mine joked that she often gets mistaken for being from Southeast Asia due to having a darker complexion. And while I laughed it off with her at that time, looking back, I now realize she was lowkey being racist. xD

And believe me Filipinas have mentioned literally being told 'your skin is so dark' here in Taiwan, or being given backhanded compliments like 'you're pretty despite having dark skin' and...*facepalms*

My point is, beauty is not exclusive to skin color. People who still think that are assholes.

#5 Not to say we don't have salt and pepper, but yes soy sauce and vinegar are the classic condiments you see on the table, be it at home or at a restaurant.

And if I may add, Taiwanese love their pepper. xD If you ever get to eat at a night market or a smaller "Mom n' Pop-style" restaurant here, some dishes/soups tend to add quite an excessive amount of pepper. Not like anthills, but quite liberally and way more than average. Enough that you see traces of pepper at the bottom of the food paper bag or swirling in your soup. xD

#6 I know this all too well from personal experience. In my years of studying at Taiwan, I always had roommates. 3 in my first school (I graduated high school in the Philippines pre K-12 so I had to make up 2 years of Senior High), followed by 2 in college, with the exception of 1 in freshman year.

My college did offer single person dorms but at around 9000 NTD ($324) per month compared to around 6000 NTD ($216) per semester. Because I wanted to save, the choice was obvious for me xD. But ah, this doesn't mean I don't value personal space, in fact I love having the room to myself, and since both my roomies would go home to their families every weekend, weekends were bliss for me xD

And you don't have to be friends with your roommates (that's an added bonus however), you just have to get along with them. I was quite lucky to have really great roommates all throughout my schooling years.

#9 In the Philippines, we do. Owing mostly to American influences and maybe being predominantly Catholic? xD

#10 *sigh* Chinese parents and parents from similar Asian cultures tend to put too much emphasis on grades, so much that kids could get sent to cram school as early as elementary. This is because what school you get into could literally affect your future job opportunities, and while that's not exclusive to any particular country/culture, I feel it's especially pronounced here in Asia. I'm really lucky my own parents weren't that strict about it. However, if your parents don't point the mistakes out to you, chances are you'll do it yourself, if you're an Asian kid like me anyway. xD It just becomes a habit.

#11 My family is an exception to this. xD We do say 'I love you' directly, but complete with the 'ah eat well ok?', 'don't scrimp on food', 'sleep well' and similar indirect words/actions of affection. We were doing 'Conceal, Don't Feel' before it became popular. xD

#13 I'm kind of confused about this but this has sort have changed over the years in which eye-contact is now more encouraged. But don't stare, especially at elders and authority figures. Sometimes it's just shyness though. xD And I've observed this with my own Taiwanese friend, especially when I'm complaining or ranting to her about something. xD I'm a person who likes to express my opinions strongly, which tends to scare/alienate some of the locals here, as doing so is kind of frowned upon. Thankfully, she does listen and offers her take on things.

#14 Ah this. xD In the Philippines, this is a common greeting known as beso-beso, and I freaked out too when an auntie did that to me. xD Needless to say, Mom lectured me later on what that was. ^^"

#16 Along with #3 another crazy beauty standard. In my view, people always look better with a little meat on them and when they're not horribly thin. Asia still has a loonng way to go with accepting different types of bodies if you ask me. This combined with modern beauty standards has made the pressure for women especially to 'look beautiful' higher than ever.

I know many people love them but please, starving yourself or glorifying eating disorders is never OK just to get this kind of 'ideal' body. I'm not part of the Kpop fandom, but even I think when idols get bullied just for gaining the least bit of weight among other insensitive comments, that's really going too far.

#17 'If you want to make friends, go eat.' <- I couldn't agree more. In the Philippines we have a greeting: 'Kumain ka na ba?' (Have you eaten?) . Similarly in Taiwan, we have 吃飯了沒? (chī fàn le méi), both of these can mean that in the literal sense but are often used as greetings instead. By then which invitation to having lunch/dinner together may or may not follow. Food really is a way for us to socialize and to catch up with what's going on in each other's lives. Not to say we don't have regular outings like going out to the mall, going shopping, etc. but eating together is a huge part of our culture, be it with family or friends.

And while I'm at it, some memes that are way too accurate good to pass up xD

Parents, uncles, aunties alike will fight over the bill xD

Alternatively:

You just space out until your name is called xD

My parents are guilty of the last one. Logic how? xD

#18 True. xD I like giving compliments out to people but I have a hard time accepting them myself, though I've learnt how to accept them much more now than before. We're kind of raised to constantly downplay ourselves so we often say things like 'ah no no' or 'I'm really not that good'. The downside of this of course is that it can come off as somewhat fake. xD

Again from personal experience, that same classmate who made the lowkey racist remark, she was good, she was on the debate team, was a honor student, knew how to mingle with people, but she downplayed herself way too much, while praising me but I honestly thought that she never really meant it from how she treated me. She wanted to keep me around her yet make backhanded compliments at me and she didn't want me socializing with my other classmate who is now my friend. *sigh* It was only after discussing this with one of my roomies did I realize how this 'excessive downplaying' might come off to people like me who more or less grew up with a more 'Westernized' mindset. I'm not saying brag about your achievements but don't be overly humble about them either, which can also be a turn off.

#20 We do tend to be a lot more realistic on how we view things, neither entirely optimistic nor pessimistic. We try to think of things practically and often analyze things on pure logic. A downside of this however, is that Chinese people can be overly practical. Taiwanese for instance don't like to 'find inconveniences' and generally keep to themselves, meaning, they won't help you in your hour of need even when they do have the capabilities. Sounds really harsh I know, but in my 6 years of living in Taiwan, while this doesn't apply to all the people, a lot of them really do only find/talk to you when they need something.

So for some people saying Taiwanese are 'friendly', that's BS xD If you ask me, Filipinos are infinitely more friendly, and again while not all, generally make more of an effort to help you when you need it. I really felt more of a real sense of community during my years growing up in the Philippines compared to Taiwan.

#21 Children do tend to stay with their parents well into college and adulthood, since Chinese families are indeed very family-oriented, in a lot of cases, grandparents often live under the same roof as us as well! And it really does save a lot of money. I see there's a real stigma in the US when it comes to "living with your parents", but that's starting to change especially because of Covid and having more and more people move back in with their parents.

Housing unfortunately is pretty much hella expensive no matter where you go, and Taiwan is no exception. Steep housing prices and the very high cost of raising a child (schooling + buxiban fees, etc.) contribute to a very low birth rate and thus an aging population like Japan. It's not uncommon to see both parents working in Taiwan.

#23 I'm an overthinker myself, but I totally agree with the author that the best is to strike a good balance between these two. Which I guess is why I love drawing or any other related creative attempts, it helps me be more spontaneous or well, creative! I like to remain intellectually or artistically inspired.

#24 Is French high school really like that? xD My friend did watch SKAM France and more or less got a culture shock from what was depicted on the show. I can confirm however that most high schools both in the Philippines and Taiwan require students to wear a uniform, only in college is everybody free to wear casual/civilian clothes.

#26 Ah this is part of our Asian gift-giving etiquette xD We always open gifts later after the event/meeting and in private. Never open them in front of the person who gave it to you or in front of others. This is to prevent any 'shame/embarrassment' that may result both to yourself and to the gift giver. I know this may come off as something weird since some people may want a more honest response or immediate feedback when it comes to gift-giving, but that's just how it is in our culture. You're always free to ask us though (in private) if we liked the gift or not ^^"

#28 I want to say the same goes to drinking, partying, and drugs however xD Those are things which are still frowned upon in our culture. And to be honest, whenever I see those in movies, it does kind of turn me off xD It doesn't mean that we're "uncool" or "boring", we just think that there are much better or healthier ways of "having fun".

#31 Is this true in France?! Man I would kind of prefer that instead of people being on their phones all the time xD This kind of goes with #20 in that Chinese are overly practical or logical, and don't read fiction as much as nonfiction. My Taiwanese friend is an exception though, she's a bibliophile who loves the feel of paper books compared to e-books, and it's a trait of her that I like a lot. Both the Philippines and Taiwan however have a huge fanbase when it comes to manga and anime though.

I'm all for reading outside of "designated reading" at schools especially. Reading fiction improves your vocabulary too, and can be quite fun! It helps you imagine and really invest in a world/story, and if you ask me something that I feel Westerners are better at, they're more in touch with their emotions and creativity, and are thus much more able to write compelling or original stories. Believe me, I've seen a fair amount of Chinese movies that rip off Western movie plotlines xD

#33 Nothing much to add on here..except that since I'm a "weird" person, Mom often jokes that she got the wrong baby from the hospital. xD

#35 True. While I agree with the care and concern that your fellow community can give you, the downside of this is we tend to only hang out with our own people, e.g Chinese with Chinese, Taiwanese with Taiwanese, etc. I've seen too that it's especially hard to make friends in Japan and Korea as a foreigner. Not only is there the language barrier, but the differences in culture too. In a way, Asians can be pretty close-minded on getting to know other cultures or actually making friends with people from other countries. I know this all too well being half-Taiwanese/half-Filipino, being neither "Filipino" enough nor "Taiwanese" enough. xD It's more of people here being too used to what they're comfortable with.

#36 Oh this is something I feel that Chinese students and other students from similar cultures should really improve on. xD How will people respect you if you don't speak your mind?

I felt bad especially for my Spanish teacher in college, granted it was an introductory course (Spanish I and II) but the amount of times that our teacher had to prompt a student to recite/speak even with clear hints already made her (and me too) extremely frustrated. The thing is, these are college students, I personally feel they don't have any reason to be so shy of speaking and technically by not doing so they're slowing the pace of the class too much and a lot of time is wasted.

Unfortunately you can't always be very vocal with your thoughts and opinions in most Asian cultures. I would say strive for that, but at the same time, play your cards well, especially if you're in a workplace setting.

If you made it to the end, thank you for reading and here's a cookie! 🍪 I'm not perfect and there's bound to be something I missed so please let me know if you spotted anything wrong. Feedback/questions are very much welcome and please feel free to share about your country/culture's differences or similarities!

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