#"spine board

[denisemedzer02]

Spine Board Stretcher 

Spine Board Stretcher Dimensions=1910-times-470-times-30-mm; Folded=130-times-470-times-520-mm; Weight=8-kgs; Loading=159-kgs;Shop Online at Medzer.com

[ambulanceproducts]

The Plastic Spine Board with safe belts is an essential tool for medical professionals in hospitals, sports settings, ambulance services, and outdoor activities. Made of high-quality PE material, this spine board is designed to provide firm support and stability for patients with spinal injuries.

One of the unique features of this plastic spine board is its ability to function as a floatation device. This is particularly useful for water rescue situations where patients need to be safely transported across bodies of water. Additionally, the board's translucent structure allows for X-rays, providing medical professionals with a clear view of the patient's condition.

The Plastic Spine Board is compatible with most head immobilization devices and strap mechanisms, making it easy to secure patients in place. The safe belts ensure that the patient remains in a stable position during transportation, minimizing the risk of further injury.

The versatility of this plastic spine board makes it a must-have for medical professionals in a variety of settings. It can be used to transport patients from the scene of an accident to a hospital or medical facility. It is also an essential tool for sports teams, where it can be used to safely transport injured players from the field to medical facilities.

In summary, the Plastic Spine Board with safe belts is a durable, reliable, and versatile tool that is essential for any medical professional. Its unique features, including its ability to function as a floatation device and compatibility with most head immobilization devices, make it a valuable asset in a variety of settings.

If you would like to learn more about this product, please click here: https://ambulanceproductsindia.com/products/spine-board/spine-board/

[cupcakes-and-pain]

Medical whump idea: the Whumper using a cervical collar and/or spine board to immobilize a whumpee (especially if they use it incorrectly >:3)

[pleasantboatpress]

so, you wanted to start bookbinding?

so @princetofbone mentioned on my post for "factory settings" about wanting to know more about the binding style that i used for it. so i thought i might make a post about it.

i was as terrible as i always am for taking in progress shots, but i can link you to the resources i used in order to make my book. i would also like to point out that "factory settings" is my 120th bind, and i have been doing bookbinding as a hobby for just over 3 years now. unfortunately this means some of the methods that i used for that bind aren't particularly beginner friendly, just in terms of the tools and methods i have used, but i would love to point you in the right direction when it comes to resources. i dont say this to sound pretentious which i fear i might come across, just so that youre fully informed. getting into this hobby is fun and rewarding, but it can definitely be intimidating.

with that caveat, heres a list of links and resources that i have used for bookbinding in general, with additional links to methods i used specifically in regards to this bind.

ASH's how to make a book document. it gives you a great introduction into typesetting fics (where you format the text of fics to look like a traditionally published books) and then turning them into a case-bound book (the style i used for "factory settings"). it is comprehensive, and explains how to use microsoft word to do your bidding. it was invaluable to me when i was just starting out! currently i use affinity publisher to typeset/format my fics for printing, but i only bought and learned how to use that after i had been binding books for a year and a half. i made some beautiful typesets with word, and some of my close friends use it still and design stuff that i never would be able to in my wildest dreams (basically anything by @no-name-publishing)

DAS Bookbinding's Square Back Bradel Binding. a great style to do your first bind in! this method requires, when making the case, to attach the cover board and the spine board to a connecting piece of paper, which makes it so much easier to match the size of the case to the size of the text block (your printed out and sewn fic). using this method is what allowed me to get much more accurately fitting cases, and made me much more confident with the construction of the books i was making. a well-made book is something that is so wonderful to hold in your hands!

DAS Bookbinding's Rounded and Backed Cased Book. This is the specific method that i used to create my bind for "factory settings"! even before i could back my books, i found that watching DAS's videos in particular helped me see how books were traditionally made, and i was able to see different tips and tricks about how to make nicer books.

Book Edge Trimming Without... i trim the edges of my text block using my finishing press and a chisel i have sharpened using a whetstone and leather strop with buffing compound on it. i follow the method for trimming shown in this video!

Made Endpapers. i follow this method for my endpapers, as i used handmade lokta endpapers, and they can be quite thin, but they look beautiful! i used "tipped on" endpapers (where you have your endpaper and then put a thin strip of glue on the edge and attach it to your text block) i used for a very long time before this, but these feel like they are much more stable, as they are sewn with your text block.

Edge Sprinkling. this is the method that i used for decorating the edges of my text block. but the principle is basically clamping your text block tight and then sprinkling the edges. i do not believe you need to trim the edges in order to do sprinkles on the edges, and that's what makes it accessible! i personally just use really cheap acrylic paint that i water down and then flick it onto the edges with my thumb and a paint brush.

Double-Core Endbands. i sew my own endbands, which i followed this tutorial for. that being said, it's kind of confusing, and this video is a bit easier to follow, but it is a slightly different type of endband.

Case decoration. i used my silhouette cameo 4 to cut out my design for "factory settings" in htv (heat transfer vinyl). i also used my cameo 4 to cut out the oval of marbled paper on the front, as i honestly didn't want to try my hand at cutting an oval lol. i also glued some 300 gsm card with an oval cut out of the centre of it onto the cover before covering it with bookcloth, to get a kind of recess on the cover. i then glued the oval of marbled paper onto the top of the recessed area once it was covered with bookcloth, so that it was protected. the images i used were sourced from a mix of rawpixel, canva and pixabay. a more accessible way to get into cover decoration is by painting on a design for your cover as described in @a-gay-old-time's tutorial just here. or even doing paper labels, which look classy imo.

physical materials. sourcing these will depend on your country. i am located in australia, and have compiled a list with some other aussie bookbinders of places to buy from. here is a great post describing beginning materials for getting started binding.

@renegadepublishing. this tumblr is great! its what got me started bookbinding, and being in the discord has been inspiring, motivating, and honestly just one of the best online experiences i have ever had. it is full of resources, and most people in there are amateur bookbinders, with a couple of professionals thrown in. the discord is 18+, and anyone can join!

i'm sorry this post got so long, but i hope that this has a lot of information for you if you would like to get started bookbinding. its one of the best hobbies ive ever had, and i genuinely believe i will have it for the rest of my life.

[wrongfulruffian]

Got a fic rec off Tik Tok for fics tagged "Detective Eddie Diaz" and this is now one of my favorite AU's, and I swear this fic could almost be read as its own novel.

This one is I Don't Mind Waiting (If It's For You) By Princessfbi @princessfbi I hope you think it's cool! I really went with the murder mystery vibe for the cover design

I've started taking photos throughout the binding process and including them in these posts cause I love sharing the process :)

My favorite part of the binding process is definitely folding and stitching the signatures together. I put on a show or some music and it is a nice relaxing task.

I always do an initial glue of the spine in the press to make sure I'm pressing any swell out, then take it out and label the top (cause I have the memory of a goldfish, and once it is back in the press, I will not remember which way is up) Then its back into the press, mainly just to hold it up, and the bookmark ribbon and headbands go on. I wait for that to dry so they don't move while I put the mull on (I actually ran out of actual book binding mull so I used cheesecloth, which works just as well)

Once it's all glued up I can get the final spine width and cut out the spine board along with the cover boards. Those get attached to a piece of cardstock with a 5mm hinge. I measure the book cloth to be about an inch out from each side. and then that gets all glued down.

I say it again, I hate Cricut brand vinyl. My other brands Iron on so much easier, and any time I use the Cricut brand it takes like ten times longer. This took forever to get down and the overlapping bits really fought me. I've been trying to integrate more colors into my cover designs and get better at planning out the overlapping parts.

I'm really happy with the final product!

[billymarvel]

Rewatched The Batman and god. Starting off as a symbol of revenge and vengeance and then getting slapped in the face with the knowledge that Gotham doesn't need more revenge, it needs a light in the darkness, it needs hope.

Him cutting the electricity off so it wouldn't kill the people, and then lighting a flare before reaching a hand out and literally guiding them through the darkness of a flooding stadium? Holding onto that terrified girl's hand as she was placed in a spine board and lifted up by a chopper until he physically could not reach her? So different to the attitude he had at the start of the movie, when the man begged him not to hurt him as he stood there, unmoving.

[nightingalebindery]

Strap in Folks: #firstbind.

My first bind was that of Solus by FettsOnTop(GTFF)

There was so so many things I've messed up with this.

From the covers bending. The spine board too wide. The cloth not being fully glued down. The thread not staying glued. To no mull and shifting signatures.

BUT and here's the big one for me- IT WAS A BOOK!

Just like how Tolkien mentioned that Bilbo couldn't begin his adventure without stepping out his door, I couldn't call myself a binder WITHOUT doing these mistakes and creating my first book. It's not fancy. But it is MY FIRST BOOK

[becky-resus]

I'm really getting more into the trauma side of this fetish. Loving the idea of the urgency of being worked on. Having tons of medical equipment being used in my weak and vulnerable body.

Being strapped and fully restrained to a spine board clothing completely cut off me as wires and tubes lay over my body.

My weak and slow heart beat echoes around the room as I enter respiratory arrest.

[pentopaper23]

Collection of one shots revolving around Anthony comforting his siblings while they are injured or sick.

CHAPTER ONE - Colin - Rugby Injury.

Anthony winced at the sound of bodies clashing together and leaned up on his tiptoes as he stood with Benedict, Daphne and Eloise in the grandstands of his Colin’s rugby final. Colin had just been tackled by three boys, he had disappeared beneath them in a tangle of limbs and driven so hard into the ground that Anthony could see the loose turf scattered around the pile of bodies. An uproar came from the Eton side of the stand, Benedict being one of the loudest with Eloise coming in second shouting out words that he would need to talk to her about later. He glanced over and saw the local paramedics that were working the game were also looking on in concern and one went to grab a pack and spine board from the truck.

“Come on ref! Open your eyes!” Benedict yelled from beside him in fury and he couldn’t say he disagreed with him. All match Colin and his teammates had been the victim of illegal high tackles and penalties.

His wince turned to worry when Colin didn’t spring back up like he had been doing the whole match and a pain filled scream rang out over the field. An eerie silence slowly fell over the stands as the coaching staff and one of the paramedics ran out onto the field towards the screaming Colin. The players on top of him leapt off him quickly and one looked to have gagged. Anthony could see why, Colin’s right leg looked to be bending a right angle and boy in question was clutching at it while screaming in pain.

“Dave, I need the leg brace!!” the paramedic yelled to her partner as she slowly moved Colin’s hands away from his leg and laid him back. Anthony’s breath caught in his throat, and he quickly glanced at Benedict who was already looking at him and they shared a scared look. The second paramedic raced out onto the field with a back board, leg brace and packs.

“Take the girls to the car” Anthony said calmly to Benedict and handed him his car keys. He patted Daphne and Eloise on head and with a small smile said he would be right back. They both nodded with tear filled eyes and flinched each tome Colin lets out a scream.

He could feel the eyes on him as he raced down the grandstand stairs taking them two at a time. The sorrow stories of the Bridgerton family had quickly spread after the death of their parents. Sympathetic looks and words of guidance had been a daily thing in the months after their deaths. He ignored them now and acted as if he couldn’t hear people saying comments like “they really can’t catch a break” and “not another thing for them the poor dears”. He pushed past the people that had gathered by the small fence that divided the stands from the field just as they were rolling a screaming Colin onto a backboard with a brace around his leg. He had wires connected to his chest and his jersey all but ripped right down the front.

“Col!” Anthony yelled jumping over the fence and racing across the field, his feet almost slipping on the muddy ground. When he reached them, he fell to his knees by Colin’s head ignoring the wetness seeping into his fabric of his trousers. He could see a small trickle of blood running out of his nose and he had a dazed glossy look on his face with his mouth hanging open dumbly. But the biggest issue was his leg, blood was pooling under him as a bone poked out from a gapping wound on his thigh. He glanced to the stand and saw that Benedict was carrying a crying Eloise down the stairs with a sobbing Daphne trailing behind with her hand gripping the back of his coat.  He watched them walk around the corner of the grandstand and disappear into the carpark beyond.

“Ant,” Colin said groggily his eyes rolling back in his head in pain and his muddy hand raised weakly searching for his brothers clean ones.  

“Yeah, I’m here buddy, I’m here,” Anthony said looking back down at his brother and taking Colins hand in his. Anthony heard words like compound break and shock as he followed the paramedics as they carefully carried Colin off the field and towards the waiting ambulance.

“I’m assuming you’re the guardian?” the female paramedic’s asked as they loaded Colin into the back of the ambulance. Anthony nodded not taking his eyes of Colin as the other paramedic cut the rest of his jersey off him. “In that case in or out?” she asked bringing him out of his stupor.

“In.” Anthony replied jumping into the back of the truck just as the paramedic slammed one of the back doors shut. Finding his seat Anthony reached for Colin’s shaking hand again and held one between the two of his. He ran his thumb over the back of Colins hand and shushed him when he started to scream in pain when the paramedic tightly wrapped the open break.  

“Can’t you give him anything?” Anthony shouted. But the paramedic just shook his head, “I need to wrap his leg and stop the bleeding first” he said as he slipped a tourniquet under Colin’s leg. Colin screamed out again his eyes snapping shut and he begin to shake when the paramedic tightened the tourniquet around his upper thigh. The blood flow trickled to stop, and the paramedic wiped his bloody hands on his uniform.  

“His he allergic to anything? Any medical conditions?” The paramedic asked as he rooted around in a cabinet behind him. Anthony replied no and reached up to brush the hair out of Colin’s pain filled dirty face. Colins eyes flickered open and looked up at Anthony unfocused and lazy. Anthony could see the pain buried in them and noticed that Colin had started to shake more violently than before.

“Hurts” he said reaching down to try and touch his leg. “How about we don’t do that just yet?” Anthony said gently pulling his hands away. “Not yet” Colin agreed and smiled softly at Anthony his eyes flickering as of he was about to pass out. This smile however turned to panic the moment the paramedic mentioned “Just a tiny scratch mate, and you will feel much better” and Colin all but threw himself away from the needle and into Anthony’s lap. Anthony had forgotten about Colin’s fear and had a split second to grab him by the shoulders and firmly push him back down on the gurney before Colin started to thrash against him.

“No, no, no. Don’t! Anthony!”

“Hey hey calm down Col, you’re okay.” He tried to smooth as the paramedic tried to hold down Colin’s arm so that he could insert an IV.

“NO! No, no!” Colin said continuing to thrash against Anthony’s hold as the paramedic cursed when Colin knocked the needle out of his hands.

“All good back there?” The female paramedic asked from the drivers seat as she weaved in and out of traffic with siren blaring. “Yeah, all good. How long?” the other medic asked opening another fresh needle. Anthony didn’t hear the reply he was to focus on getting Colin to calm down.

“Col come on buddy look at me,” He said softly rubbing his thumbs over Colins shoulders as he firmly held him to the gurney, “you need to let the nice man do his job.”

“I want mum” Colin sobbed out tears streaming down his face as he looked frantically around the ambulance as if his eyes were searching for her.

“I know buddy. I know,” Anthony said holding back his tears, he reached up to cup Colin’s face between his hands and he lent forward to rest his forehead against Colins and felt him started to calm. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as the medic quickly slid the needle into Colin’s arm and Anthony felt his brother flinch and start to cry harder.

“I know, I know, I know” Anthony said softly as Colin started to fade. His eyes were slowly closing and eventually they closed completely, and Colin went limp in his arms.

[demodoggonetired]

And it's donee!! My (technically) first ficbind! Many thanks to @wormdebut for letting me practice binding with KYK!!!

You should 100% check out her fic here if you're interested ;)

And if you ever want to get into making your own ficbinds, check out @renegadepublishing for tons of amazing references and sources!

More information below the cut:

The bind is a quarto (meaning: when closed, the book is a fourth the size of a letter sheet of paper), made with printed marble paper and prestige laval bookcloth for the cover. Endpapers are cardstock with red paper inlays that mimic the heart dividers throughout the fic (get it? cause it's about two hearts seperating but coming back together??? ya love to see it) The spine, cover, and title page are all painted with folkart red flash color shift paint for a little extra shimmer (the little worm on the spine is my fav). The little skull ring drawn by myself with reference pulled of the one Eddie wears in the show. Bound using linen thread and archival pva glue, endbands sewn using embroidery thread in a double core style. Printed on Hammermill 20lb cream printer paper.

I love how it all turned out!! My only tweaks would be to better space the spine & board, get a little better about proper tension in the binding, and maybe add a few more spacer pages at the front and back of the typeset. She has flaws but I still love her <3

...I think that's everything? lol

[auphaniim]

ITS BEEN A WHILE. IM BACK WITH MORE BOOKS!!!

These two books are by the amazing @alexsuominen (one of which was written for me after some begging lmao)

love u alex!

read in between lay lines here

alright here is the second one! this one was quite a challenge because its a fair bit shorter than i usually bind, so i had to forego a spine board which was new!

both of these are quartos printed on a4 paper if anyone is curious

read love most unexpected here

if anyone wants the typesets for these (or any of my previous binds) hit me up!!

[denisemedzer02]

Spine Board 

Spine Board Drainage Capacity=0-04-m-sup3; Maximum Load=le-159-kg; Dimensions=186-times-41-times-5-cm; Packaging Dimensions=187-times-43-times-7-cm; Net Weight=6-5-kg;Shop Online at Medzer.com

[spockandawe]

I’m a fairly beginner bookbinder (I’ve done pamphlets and coptic bindings with paper and book cloth) and your posts about the k118 binding are incredibly compelling. I’m currently typesetting a fic that I’m going to need to break into two 500 page volumes and wanted to try doing a case binding for them. Would the k118 be too difficult as a starting place for case bindings?

Oooh. Let me see! This is a slightly tricky question, because until you get into the mechanics of how all the pieces are assembled, it isn't clear how k118 and casebindings differ. It's like one of those things where you look at two identical animals and are like 'what do you MEAN they aren't related???' I'm going to go into probably unnecessary detail below, but the bottom line up front is that I don't think the k118 will be a good choice until you have some more experience with either hardcovers with closed spines (no matter how a style tackles it, this complicates construction compared to coptic). But I like the k118 binding a lot, so I want to explain why I think that and what the big hurdles to reach that point are!

First, here's the post that I was sent when I first learned about k118, and then here's a link to a tag on the blog of another bookbinder who enjoyed playing with this style. I learned primarily from that first link, but I've also fumbled my way through some similar styles before, which i drew on to bridge the gap between pictures and instructions. I believe this is the DAS video where I learned about covering tightbacked leather bindings. The other times before k118 that I've done this, I did laced on boards where I sewed on cords and then threaded those cords through my cover boards to fix them in place (very cool, but hard, and messier than I anticipated)

Once a k118 is done, it will look a lot like a rounded casebound book! But the distinction is that k118 is built and covered right on the text block (similar to a coptic binding), and a casebinding involves building the case (cover boards and spine stiffener, plus covering material) completely separately from your text block, and the final step is uniting them. I do like casebindings a lot, I do a lot of flat-backed styles where a spine board makes things look nice and crisp, and I can zone out and build a case on autopilot.

These are my cases for 2ha, for example. I made all thirteen of them and finished the covering material like this, and if one of them had gotten fucked, I could have restarted that case without the text block being affected at all. I like these a lot, they're probably 99% of what I've made!

Now, I don't have photos of how tightbacked bindings are covered, because even for k118 they're a sweaty-palmed race against time where you wrap a wet, floppy, adhesive-soaked piece of material around a three-dimensional object, and try not to get adhesive on your pages or the outside of the material. I might have done it with bookcloth, but it's really a style meant for leather and wheat paste. You usually make an ad hoc sheath for your text block so that they're shielded while the covers are free, but my locked tomb book definitely has a spot where paste got on the edges anyways!

Both casebinding and k118 use a text block where the spine is stabilized with glue first, so it will have fewer wiggles than a coptic book. I start with the book spine up, and take my pasted out covering material, and lower it centered over the spine. That helps me keep the material overall centered as the book object gets more complicated to handle, and if you're using leather (which stretches), you can tug downward at both covers to keep things taut and crisp. I don't think the process is terrible so far, though it may be tricky if you aren't used to such demanding glue control! The tough part is doing the turn-ins, which is where the DAS video will be much more informative than I'm about to be.

Now, your book has material glued to it along the spine and both covers. There should be flappy overhangs on all edges, and odds are good that some paste has squished out onto these even if you were careful. This is the part where using paste specifically is important, since it has a slower dry time than pva - when you paste out your turn-ins, at the head and tail of the spine, you'll need to pull your covering material away from the spine to make a space for that material to tuck in. It will go around the cover boards but underneath the spine. this is always a tricky mess, I keep a clean poking tool on hand so I can prod material into the gap, because my fingers won't want to fit. Also, as you're feeding material into the glue hole, you're trying not to get adhesive on the outside of the book. A damp cloth can save things if you spot it fast, and wheat paste will wipe off leather, but pva or fabric will be less forgiving. Bookcloth is also less forgiving for being pulled up and repositioned that way, there's a reason I didn't photograph the spine on efface the footprints!

I don't want to be discouraging here! I think the style is VERY doable, but it's still a hike in difficulty where mistakes will be punished with glue. I tried a tightbacked binding with boards sewn on cords at a point where I was already very confident with casebindings, with leather that was a gift and not a purchase, and still got punched hard in the ego. If you do want to dive into traditional style leather bindings, then yes, absolutely recommend this style. It's much easier than laced on boards, I just recommend watching das's videos on covering books like these, and edge paring leather is its own skill set I'm still not very good at.

(also, if you want to pursue leather, material sourcing gets complicated. 1-2 oz veg tanned goat leather is ideal, you won't want it more then ~1.5 mm thick if possible, and then you're SUPPOSED to pare parts thinner with specialty knives (or sand them). Bookbinding stores will sell this stuff for wild amounts of money, or it's possible to find affordable hides elsewhere, but it is definitely a niche product. Cow hides are not worth it. Vellum sourcing is also annoying, my current books have been done with vellum PAPER, so we'll see how long they live. I'm optimistic! But true vellum can be purchased as scraps or offcuts from calligraphy places, or a comment from a conservationist on one of my prior posts recommended tyvek)

If you want to to work with bookcloth and paper, I strongly recommend working with casebindings or other adhesive-heavy styles until you're comfortable enough with those to get adventurous. A casebound book can be rounded as well to deal with spine swell! If a book is flat-backed, the case is worked flat and you don't have to deal with the third dimension until you glue it to your text block. If you have a curved spine, you probably want to pre-curve your spine stiffener a little first, but it's still MOSTLY flat. This style is still going to be most of what I make! I'm planning to keep k118 for books that need to open flat af (two pending wedding guestbooks, which is why I was testing it so hard here), or for full leather bindings. It's much, much nicer than the other tightbacked styles I've tried so far, but all of them are still an escalation in difficulty and fuss from my usual books!

Tl;dr, if you want to go hard on leather, i do recommend this, but advise you watch LOTS of reference material on leather first. Leather is very complicated and annoying, the learning curve is real, but I find it VERY rewarding to work with. If you want to stick to cloth and paper, I think it might be a discouraging jump in difficulty for the moment, but could still be in reach soon! A lot of my rhapsodizing comes from that lingering frustration/anxiety of my first struggles with tightbacked bindings, and I would hate to set someone up for that same pit trap when it isn't necessary.

There we are, that's enough wall of text for now! I hope something in here is helpful. I think a casebinding is your best bet for this project, and VERY attainable, but if your heart is set on learning k118 someday, I don't think it's FAR out of reach. I just want you to have a good time with this big project!! :D

[purplewitch156]

Mini Journal #6

Once again, I am not all that sure if I got the paper grain right. I thought I did, but now I’m having second thoughts. I know the tips and tricks and yet I still feel like I’m flipping a coin most of the time when it comes to the grain. And there’s too much spine board at the top. I either messed up my measurement (highly possible) or the spine itself is slightly smaller at the top than it is at the bottom (highly likely) but I’m really happy with how this turned out. Might be my best so far -- the endbands certainly are. More pics below the cut

[intubatedangel]

Code Red : Chapter 2

Merry Christmas everyone! I managed to get the next chapter done for you all. It was a little hazy writing this one, between work crunch and an allergy attack (nothing major, think hayfever but thanks to dustmites) leaving me feeling horrible. I’m still happy with it though, so here it is. Hope you all enjoy it and have a great holiday!

Story Index  

Chapter 1

* * *

Carl looked up at Clarissa, the question prompting an ingrained reaction. "This is Kevin, male, late 20's - early 30's. Fell as much as 4 stories. Open left tib fracture. Likely compound fractures to right tib and fib, with potential fractures to both femurs. Querying pelvic and spinal trauma. Clear dislocation of right elbow, unknown damage to left arm, its pinned beneath him. Confirmed opiate use, we're attempting ketamine for analgesia preceding log roll and immobilisation." Carl took a breath. "We just called it on his girlfriend, looking at possible suicide attempt." He finished.

That doesn't fit. A voice in the back of his mind told him. If you’re trying to end it, you go higher than four floors. You're missing something.

He dismissed the thought. It didn't matter if Kevin had been trying to kill himself. Psych could run that. Carl's job was to give him the best chance of walking out of whichever kind of hospital he ended up in.

No! Think!

Carl shook his head, ignoring the unsettling tirade of his subconscious.

"I'm in!" Trish shouted, ramming the syringe of ketamine into the now secured IV port. It was enough to distract Carl away from the nagging thoughts. He could see it clearly, the high dose of tranquilizer sapping the tension from Kevin's body, leaving him much limper and more pliable.

"There we go. Roger, pass the backboard down." He ordered, accepting the head of the spine board as it was passed along the nurses and laid next to the crumpled young man. "Dr. Stelling, I need you to steady the left leg, we can reduce and splint in the trauma room." As the head of the emergency department, Clarissa was his senior, but Carl was first on scene. Unless Stelling specifically claimed his patient, protocol was to follow the orders of the primary physician. She knelt down, manipulating Kevin's leg until it was roughly in line with the rest of his body. He moaned at that, but the powerful drugs, both illicit and administered, kept him from actively resisting.

"Ready to roll." Stelling announced, without a hint of irony or sarcasm.

Carl looked around the nursing team. Why isn't she here yet? No time to dwell on it. Everyone present looked ready. "On 3. 1...2...3!" In a coordinated manoeuvre the team rolled Kevin onto his back, keeping his spine straight, while Stelling ensured there was no further damage to his leg. "Primary immobilisation." Carl commented, though the nurses were already working the straps of the backboard. A pair of foam blocks were placed either side of Kevin's head and secured, allowing Carl to pull his hands away and settle back to get an overview.

With the young man on his back Carl could see his other arm and hand, and his torso. It was bloody, yet there was no obvious lacerations or open injuries. That doesn't fit either. What's missing?

"Carl." Stelling's voice dragged his attention again. "That's the best we can get here."

"Right." He replied, forcing his focus to the patient before them. "Everyone got a piece?" He said, prompting the gathered nurses to grab various handholds of the hard backboard. "3 again. 1...2...3!" Together they lifted Kevin into the air, shuffling the few steps over to the waiting gurney. "And down, gently." He commanded.

Damned fool! WHO is missing!

Carl paused, while the nurses gathered the equipment on the ground, preparing to move the gurney to the nearby trauma room. He answered the thought. Anna. But she needed to take a break. She'll be in her usual spot. He looked upwards instinctively. Whenever she needed to take a moment, she would go to the top of the stairs. These stairs.

Something flashed past the corner of his vision, too fast for him to identify.

"What the fu..." Trish exclaimed, barely catching herself.

Carl's gaze snapped to her, glimpsing the dark streak on the back of her scrubs before she turned her back away from him as she leaned down to pick something off the floor. She straightened staring at the object in her hand, before a look of horrified recognition shattered her face.

Suddenly unsteady, Carl took a step forward, reaching for Trish's hands. Before he could touch her, she angled her fingers towards him. Cradled in the digits was a familiar sight. The locket he had given to Anna just this last weekend.

It glistened with the crimson sheen of fresh blood.

Even as the realisations cascaded together, he was already dashing up the stairs, ignoring the shout from Dr. Stelling.

* * *

Anna let out a sigh when she saw the locket drop over the edge, before the whole world seemed to flicker. She was no longer looking across the floor, but straight up at the tiles of the suspended ceiling.

Had she been unconscious for long? She was still on her own. She was still alive. Her mind was sluggish, but she figured it must have just been a momentary lapse. The tiles above her seemed to flex and distort as her vision wavered. Her hearing was fuzzy too. None of the noises down below carried to her now. The only sound she could hear was her own heartbeat in her ears, a soft, laboured thrumming. Her whole body felt distant, numb and cold.

Vaso constriction re-directing blood from the extremities. A quiet intellectual part of her brain supplied. What a lovely fact to bring to your own attention when you were bleeding to death. She was running out of time.

Did he get the locket? Or had he already left? Anna's eyes rolled. She wasn't sure if it was intentional, a response to her own questions to herself, or if it was because her consciousness was hanging by a whisper thin thread.

Hold it together for just a little longer. He's coming. He has to be coming. Just stay alive until he gets here. That was a better response. Though numb and practically lifeless, Anna managed to drag her arm across her body, placing her hand over the wounds. At least they were close together. She didn't have the strength to apply any serious pressure, but maybe it would help.

Her hands were desensitised from the reduced blood flow, but she could still feel the warm wetness of her saturated scrubs beneath her fingers. The sensation was enough to let her recognise the same feeling encasing her belly and flowing down her right side. Seeping under and spreading across her back.

The pool of blood was still growing, even though it only seemed to be oozing between her fingers now, instead of the spurting rush of earlier. She let her head fall to the side. It was hard to tell from this angle, almost parallel to the floor, but it seemed pretty big. She wondered how much blood she had already lost.

Is this really what we want to be thinking about right now? How close we are to .... gone? If she'd had the strength Anna would have shrugged to herself. She needed something to keep herself occupied. Keep herself awake. Figuring out ones current medical status was far better than counting the tiles on the ceiling. Without getting a top down view she could only make a rough guess. The sanguine puddles were both large. Her heart continued to thrum in her ears. The skin of the arm lying next to her body was beyond pale, almost a ghostly white. She became aware of her breathing. Quick, shallow. Almost gasping.

Damn. She was already well into stage 4 of hypovolemic shock. Or would that be haemorrhagic shock? 40% of her blood was no longer inside her.

What was that? Anna refocused her eyes. She hadn't even noticed that she'd zoned out, tip toeing the fine line of losing her grasp on reality itself. She didn't see anything. She tried to focus on her hearing. For a moment she could only perceive the thumthumthumthumthumthumthum of her racing heart. But then there was something else. Footsteps. Loud, dashing footsteps. Then a shout. Two syllables shouldn't be hard to understand, but they were just so fuzzy.

He shouted Anna, dummy. That made sense. Wait. HE shouted. There was another exclamation. Just one sound, but repeated a few times. She knew that voice. She'd been waiting for that voice.

Movement. Her vision had gone all cloudy again, but she convinced her eyes to work together. She could see him. Just his face. The look on his face broke her heart.

"Anna!" He screamed, lurching into motion as he sprinted up the last few steps.

* * *

Carl bounded up the steps, two at a time, his comfortable but hard wearing footwear making loud clacks as it impacted the aluminium edging strips of each step he proceeded to launch off. His hand intermittently gripped the handrail, pulling hard to augment his rushing leaps, and holding tight as he swung around the corner of each landing.

"Anna!" He called, halfway up the staircase. She either didn't reply, or it was so quiet it couldn't be heard over the sound of his frantic climb. Neither was a good sign. He turned on another landing, looking upwards, and almost stumbled. He could see the glass panel lining the top landing.

A bloody, smeared handprint stained the glass.

"No! No! No!" He shouted, before launching himself up the last few flights.

He rounded the final landing, slowing as he saw the knife. It lay there on a step, the four inch blade coated in crimson from tip to handle. He forced himself to climb the last few stairs, his legs weak, like jelly, terrified of what he was going to find. On the sixth step his head was high enough to see what was on the landing.

His world almost shattered.

Anna was lying on the floor, a pool of blood beside her. She was still. Gut-wrenchingly, terrifyingly still. Around her abdomen her scrubs were darkened with bloodstains. He looked at her face, tears prickling the corners of his eyes. Her eyes were half open, staring blankly. His stomach dropped. For a moment he was certain she was already gone. The woman he loved, the woman who owned his own heart, dead on the false marble floor of the landing.

Her eyes flickered and shifted, focusing. On him. Her hand, laid out on the floor as if reaching towards him, twitched. She was still alive.

"Anna!" He shouted again, leaping forward, bolting up the stairs as fast as his legs would take him.

Carl raced towards, fear filling him as he saw the other pool of blood surrounded by scattered drips. He practically slid on his knees as he rounded her body and dropped down beside her.

"Anna, Anna baby please look at me." He pleaded as he shrugged out of his white coat. Her head rolled, trying to track him, but she was too weak to actually keep it steady. He balled up the coat, then gently pulled away the hand that lay across her belly. He could just barely see the two wounds, a brighter scarlet than the blood darkened scrubs. He placed the coat across them both, intertwining his fingers with hers. They were so cold, each digit like a separate icicle. He guided both their hands over the coat, pressing hard.

Anna whimpered, the pressure sending a spike of pain through her body.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry." He whispered to her as he looked down at her face. Their eyes met, the pain dragging her back to a vague form of alertness. He could see the tears sparkling at the corners of her eyes. She must have been so scared. He shuffled around, keeping his hand tight over her injuries, adjusting his legs enough that he was able to lift her head into his lap. "I've got you. I've got you." He told her, gently stroking her cheek.

"C...arl." She said softly, her gasping breath hitching.

"I'm here Anna. I'm right here." He told her pulling her closer. Her eyes were flickering, drifting away then snapping back to his face as she clung on to consciousness.

"I....wish we....had....more....t....t...time." She whispered, fighting to say each word.

"We'll have all the time in the world baby. You're going to be just fine. I've got you and you're going to be just fine." His voice cracked.

"S...S...Sorry." Anna shook her head ever so slightly.

"No. No, don't be sorry. I'm going to take care of you."

A gasping cry from the stairwell, made him glance up. Trish leaned against the railing, her hands covering her mouth in shock as she tried to comprehend the scene before her.

"Trish. Call a Code Red. Major haemorrhage. We need a trolley and a grab bag up here now." Carl said, his gaze falling back to the woman he was cradling. Trish stood there trembling. Carl turned back to her, finding that commanding voice inside him. "Go! Call a Code Red now!" He roared, finally prompting Trish into motion.

[starreyes]

Fearless

All my life, I haven't been afraid of much, fearless in a way. I've run into a flaming house to save a dog, split up a dog fight with a spine board. I lead with my heart and not my brain. But sometimes, I'm afraid of the thoughts in my head that won't stop. I'm afraid of being home alone with my thoughts, I can't get away.