stephiigblog

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M A R C H FOR OUR L I V E S •• Enough is enough. We, the people, demand change. This is a matter of life or death. . . #marchforourlives #MSDstrong #Parkland #neveragain #everytownforgunsafety #resist (at Parkland, Florida)

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Happy New Year! 

May this video clip motivate you to maneuver in 2018 with reckless abandonment of fear.

“You can fail at what you don’t want to do, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.” - Jim Carrey

“Jim and Andy: The Great Beyond.” Netflix.

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“the ramblings of a ‘know-it-all’”

I have heard so many times throughout my life that I am too blunt, honest, preachy/judgemental, and a bit of a know-it-all. I would always insist that that is not true. It hurt to think the people close to me couldn’t stand how straight-forward I was with them. 

See…earlier this year me and my previous therapist realized that it matters A LOT how others perceive me. Remember the saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?” Lies. Quite a few words to describe me have caused me pain. 

“Why does it matter so much to you how other people perceive you?” my therapist asked me one day. I didn’t know how to respond. I was afraid to be honest with her and most of all, myself; I want everyone to like me. (Lame, I know.) But I think it’s just a basic instinct for human beings. We all want to be accepted and loved. But there’s only so much you can do for others to like you, without compromising your authentic self. 

Can I be too blunt? Can I be a know-it-all? The answer is a resounding yes. But those aren’t such horrible qualities, in my opinion. I am a passionate, educated woman of color. I tend to speak my mind in a confident tone that intimidates most. I set high standards, have a ton of self-worth, and demand respect. This combination of traits can be ““too much” for people. So, in an attempt to please everyone, should I lower these traits in myself? I don’t know.

But eventually I had to admit that I am not for everybody, especially the small-minded. And I’ve come to grapple with the idea that not everyone will like me. And that’s okay. 

So for now, I write/speak/live in my truth. So I guess I’ll accept my title of “know-it-all.” I know that I know nothing but it’s okay if others don’t know that. ;)

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pumpkin spice & everything nice.

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DIY Natural Exfoliator || Super easy tutorial on how to make your own natural face scrub. 

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I’ve been doing the work to being a better me. So I apologize for any past transgressions. But now here we are and you’re still projecting all your insecurities onto me... I can’t do the work for you too friend. Fix your hurt. I’m here when you’re ready.

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My Instagram Isn’t Pretty

Lately, I’ve been more cognizant of what I post on my Instagram page. Like so many others, I want my photos to be of high-quality and cohesiveness. And I know how to achieve that–be consistent with filters, color schemes, remain relevant, post daily, etc. But…I’m just not good at it. Because I don’t particularly enjoy it. 

I knew I was getting into it too deep when I was frantically searching for a photo to post next that would look aesthetically pleasing alongside my previous post. With not many options I could settle on, I got frustrated because then that meant I would have to just post something, anything that would fit. Rather than just posting what I wanted. 

This had become work, which is necessary in promoting yourself, but still…Social media should not be more work than fun. I like posting what’s on my mind, what I'm looking at , or a really cute selfie dammit. I don’t mind too much that I post a tons of colorful photos just to follow up with dark images.

If anything, this is more reflective of myself. And that’s what’s really important to my brand–authenticity. 

Stay true to you. That shit is beautiful.  

 Hmm. that’s definitely an IG- worthy quote. :)

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talk less. do more.

Constantly talking about what you want to do is not as impressive as actually doing it. Especially when you’re notorious for never following through and producing said projects. And I say this out of experience. Let me explain...

I always find myself getting super excited about a project or idea that pops in my head. I’m sort of a blabber mouth when I get inspired. Which would be fine if I actually developed my ideas more and had something to show for it eventually. But unfortunately, I have a short attention span and issues with discipline (so bad, I know).

And in this day and age, especially due to social media, the pressure to share what you’re working on is sky high. Especially if you’re a creative or artist. Because it’s very common for others to judge your life simply based on your timeline/feed. 

But listen...that’s a horrible idea. Because not everything someone shares on Instagram or Facebook, etc. is fully reflective of one’s actual life. People share what they want you to see, which is usually just a pretty picture. And most times, it’s pure exaggeration. Why put on a show that you’re hustling and doing big things, when you can actually just do it?

You’ll find that simply living your life honestly and sharing your work will inspire others more. Need proof?

The oh great one Solange worked on the song “Cranes in the Sky” for 8 years. 8 years! That’s a long ass time. And that song is so. so. very. good. And during that time she was working on her album and that song in particular, we didn’t hear much from her in regards to music. But when she released her music, people were blown away. It was obvious that she and her team really put their all into the album.

So let your art/work speak for you.

And don’t feel the need to prove yourself to others in the process. Stay focused and let your actions speak volumes on how hard you’re hustling. 

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Starting Over.

So, this is my second attempt at a blog. I started a blog exactly 4 years ago. I was a few months shy of my 25th birthday and sort of going through a quarter-life crisis. And boy, oh boy, I swore I knew things back then. I felt like I had so much experience and wisdom I could share. Hilarious.

And now I’m approaching 29 and so much has happened since then. The things I thought I knew were flipped upside down. And I’m pretty sure that will continue to happen as long as I’m alive. 

Because what I know for sure is that I know nothing at all. 

And that’s okay. What is always consistent in life is time will go on and change is inevitable. 

Considering how much I’ve grown in the last 4 years, I decided to start over with a brand new blog site. I will continue to share the very little knowledge I hold, share my stories, and hopefully build a community. 

So welcome. And I hope you stay awhile.