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[songsandsophism]

Over a year, huh? Do things ever really change?

I've been busy, I guess we all have. Whether we're using that time on work, education, family, or ourselves; Time is such a strange idea, we rely on it for so many things we become bound inseperably to it. It seems so set in stone, but we bend it every day. Five extra minutes in bed couldn't hurt, I can do that tomorrow, one last episode before bed. The ways we find to take back the time we sold to actions one way or another, time spend standing still feeling like a debt. And yet it's so fragile, we leave things in "The Past", we try to live in "The Present" and, we try to strive for "The Future". Yet, so many of us fail to do so. Some of us are living in the past that haunts us, surrounded by our traumas. The present passes us by, and the future can't be imagined as anything other than more of what we know.

Others seek solice in abandoning things to the future, certain there's always more time to get it done. Embracing the present and making use of all that's there. The past growing in the background, slowly filling with futures missed. Some still find themselves striving for the past, blinded by a past they're told was sweeter, living in a present poisoned by neglect, and warned of a future they're told is so much darker. None of these are wholy unique, some of us have burdens, others ignore whats best for us, and more still let others tell us what to fear.

Political musings aren't my strongsuit - less so even than my other meagre meanderings - but, I live my past, delay my future for present pleasures, and I'm told of oh-so-many things I should fear; Some things I do fear. But, I think my fear comes from all of these things. Especially as elections approach and outlooks are mixed, fascists reach for authority, wealth seeks complacent pawns, and the hands of death sew hared towards their detractors. I see queer rights attacked en-masse, I see people seeking to be comfortable in their bodies labled as predators, moral dangers, echoing times escaped through protests which more and more governments want to suppress. I see those who benefited from radical action decry those that fought beside them for their right to exist throw their siblings under the political bus, and not expect it to turn around to hit them. I think they carry the memory of what it was like to be in the position of victim, and don't want to experience it again, choosing complacency, and in turn, buy themselves time with the blood of others. We delay action on climate, action on poverty, action on systemic reform so sure, that now isn't the right time, that things are hard, and that living through harder times for the sake of our children couldn't possibly be worth it. Changing democratic systems to reflect the voters and not the hands the draw the lines, or the wallets lining those hands' pockets, denied and delayed and degraded by those in power, and those who could snatch power. Fear of others, echoing a certain period in time, sprouting in every part of the world. "The ones coming from the south of the border must be invading" or "They want to replace us". Young men fleeing death labled "Fighting age men", the children dying where they fled being called "Young men". Blamed for draining services they often can't even access, discriminated for "stealing jobs" while having greater difficulty finding employment.

And still so many accept what they're told, that a person's genitals are your business, that those who inheret wealth deserve it, that denying basic human rights is better than compassion.

Seduced by a past of hegemony, of 'simple biology' they were taught as children, and enraged by stories of dystopion futures mandating transitions. Seduced by the promise of a brighter future, where they will see wealth trickle-down to them. Blind to a future where they bake in the heat, and drown in rising seas, unfeeling yachts in the distance. Seduced by the idea of a common enemy, a reason why so many promises were never kept, by the hemogenous past of identical complections, by the promise that once it's just them, everything will work. Turning their back to the deaths their support fills the present with. Sometimes I'm scared by how far time stretches out before me. But for now, I fear the time ticking down to zero. Is there any time left?

[songsandsophism]

Food has been a scarce resource throughout history, even today there are millions without enough to fill their bellies. It's such a common issue throughout history that it baffles me there is so consistently elitism among those who can afford to feed themselves.

Don't misunderstand, I appreciate that there are taste preferences and a desire to use fresh and high-quality ingredients where accessible. However, it's the idea that food is free from genetic modification, the demonisation of fats and carbohydrates, the attribution of inherent superiority to certain kinds of diet that baffle me.

Outside of over-indulgence, allergies, or philosophical/ faith-based diet restrictions, all food is equal in worth to your body. Their volumes to calories, effects on your blood sugar, and waste excretion all vary, but those are effects (when part of a varied diet) are meaningless to the majority of people.

Yet people will cut fat because it's calorie dense, the same with carbohydrates, they'll cut protein because a wellness coach recommends raw vegetables or consume nothing but raw beef because a weightlifter up to their gills in hormones and steroids said it would give them a body like theirs.

Most of these diets aren't inherently bad, but I do feel the relationship with food encouraged by these diets can easily be twisted. I've always been heavy, nothing too dramatic, but enough it causes issues, and I tried half of these diets.

And it isn't that these diets didn't work. For most of them, when I stuck to them, I felt good, I was losing weight, but it always felt forced. I've eventually decided to just cut calories, not foods, but some of that old mental programming still makes me worry about fat, fret about carbs, and panic a little I've broken a fast too early (despite not fasting).

It's just some food for thought. Our bodies are machines, and typically, they run best when we have a bit of everything, grease, fuel, and even blinker fluid.

My journey of being happy with my own body, and learning how to enjoy food while treating it with respect still has a long way to go, but it'll work itself out eventually, and I'm sure yours will too.

Just listening to some of The Postal Service today, and it's a bit of a sleepy morning so I think I'll recommend the song Sleeping In, it's a nice song a little sad to me as it seems to wish for a more simple world when its anything but that. Still a nice listen.

[songsandsophism]

Some days, I sit in a state of catatonic existential dread, mind consumed by a world lacking clear-cut purpose, staring at an endless stream of content to dull the edge of its pain. All the while, I do very little to find purpose or even consider that the fact this rises up when I've been sedentary for a little too long.

And other days I'll wander off, perhaps for coffee, or buying myself some new shoes. But more-so find myself wandering in nature, trekking through went and windy Scotland with little more than a tent, a thermos and food to last me a day or two. I lay in a tent, damp and cold, but never feeling that looming dread. I peer through the tents door, waiting for clouds to part so I might see stars.

I often never see stars, but I always watch, too far removed from civilisation for the bandwidth to scroll endlessly, too far from power to waste it so quickly. And I listen to music, slow and peaceful, fast and joyful, even the loud and angry because human nature contains multitudes and feeling those multitudes makes me feel more grounded.

It's easy to feel lost and alone when you stand still too long, you begin to feel the planet spin, the, the galaxy stretch out with stats beyond counting. And standing there along, you blame yourself for not finding purpose, for not seeing what everybody else so clearly sees.

And it's silly, I know because I do it too, every week or so I feel that pressure. But I keep moving, that's not to say you need to wander into woods and over fields, maybe just to the coffee shop, or a class for a skill you don't nerd but always wanted, or just to see a friend you can be yourself with.

Standing on ancient rock, among countless stars, it's easy to stare off into space and see nothing but the past, distant light making the years long journey to your eyes. And it can make you feel small and pointless, and that so much is behind us all that we're barely anything.

But that's a bit silly really, isn't it?

Our ancient rock is young with vibrant life, stars mark the potential that out there are our future galactic siblings, and the past stretching out behind us only shows how little we've been here, and with any luck, how much more we've got to go.

So chin up, find a reason to move, and when you can't, know that there's so much more to come, and rest is necessary.

You're complex, profound, and have so much more to do. And of course, gorgeous. Whoever you are.

I needed some peaceful music tonight. The song of choice is Such Great Heights performed by Iron & Wine, a band I'm quite fond of but even more so of this cover. The postal service (the authors of the original song) are one of my favourites, and somehow, the covers of their songs seem to pack even more punch than the originals.

[songsandsophism]

Late night writing but have an idea to try to communicate. Philosophy so skip if you're here for meme and fun. No worries. ^_^

There is a certain.... feeling that comes from widening ones horizons. From learning of something that illuminates so much. As an example to learn of a piece of modern art, and know nothing. Then to learn it was destroyed (who's afraid of red, yellow, and blue), then to learning why it was destroyed and the greater cultural conflict, as objectivism art seeks to quell creativity of abstract art.

And now before you is this conceptual Goliath. This cultural conflict you feel a desperate desire to help with. And yet, it is vast. It is too big a conflict. And the more you learn, the more you realize how big and how vast this war of philosophies may be. This is many issues in our world and cultures. And there are no easy edges to grasp onto, to begin trying to grapple this philosophical giant.

You may as well be trying to wrestle a sea. A foolish task, and yet you fear the sea untamed will wash away what you love. And so you feel you must try to grapple the sea, and though others are doing as well, you may be inconsequential. Or you may through luck be the one to ignite change.

Around us are wars of philosophy. And they are big. Left or right? Rights or no rights? And yet they are easy. Ideas and battles easily handled and fought over. Far greater is the titans that can sweep these toys aside. Freedom or safety? Creativity or Order? Preserve the past or embrace the future? Give yourselves a break. Many of these issues take entire books to sort out, and most philosophers don't publish till their old and Grey, a lifetime of thinking it over.

Ideas can be so painfully large. And when you see the shadow of great one swim past, it can leave you feeling so very small. This is normal.

[songsandsophism]

An issue I see when talking about philosophy is the idea that one school of thought it inherently true, that multitudes can be seen in a single concept. I don't think that's inherently UNTRUE, but I also believe it's near impossible to address the root of human suffering (even the mental or spiritual) by submitting to a single school of thought. Particularly when they're misunderstood by many, such as me! So I want to take a look at how I've seen them and how I've understood others to see them.

I'm no actual philosopher or academician. In fact, I'm just someone who spouts subjective thoughts with a very narrow and often lacking education. And so, it's hard for me to properly analyse any given philosophy relating to the mind and actions best taken for such issues. However, I do think I'm qualified to say one thing; Humans are deeply complex and contradictory, even if we say we're a optimist, or a sceptic, or a hedonist, it's impossible for us to be without pessimism, faith, or even asceticism.

That's not to say no one is more inclined to one than another, simply that prescribing absolute truth to one ignores the fact that neglecting its other side leaves a person lacking.

How to you mourn if you're an optimist, sure you can see all the days they've had, and all the days you have yet to have, and find comfort in those. But without the echoes of pain, without resigning yourself to the fact the world is often cruel beyond measure, I don't think it's possible to internalise that revelation in a way that helps you grow. An optimist sees a fruitful harvest, but it's the pessimism that teaches you to expect the harsh winter.

Scepticism is a favourite of many, especially those who fit the title of armchair [insert political affiliation here]. It allows for the filtering of information, the ability to question authority, and to find painful truth inside simple lies. But the life of someone dependent on their scepticism, who sees their ability to reject faith as crucial, often lacks in perspective. While science is an institution filled with lies and assumptions, approaching science with the eyes of a true sceptic often leaves one without any knowledge gained. Although many things can be definitively proven with objective facts, Most science requires at least some faith; The best deductions, made with the best information, are rarely conclusive facts, new information comes to light constantly, and deductions can change wildly. If you require a medicine to be researched so deeply that there is no potential for the unknown, you will likely find yourself dying waiting.

Hedonism is a seductive school of thought. The greatest pleasure being the greatest good is admirable, particularly when that extends to others. It, to me, is a school of thought best enjoyed in times of peace and prosperity for most (though preferably all) as it assigns priority not to the building or repair of structures that allow hedonistic individuals to enjoy thay pleasure. Of course, the actual philosophy goes deeper than simply pleasure is good so have all the pleasure. It's often misunderstood as that. So it is important for those who find the concept in that form appealing to consider something like asceticism in times of war, famine, and other social issues. Such issues can leave pleasure seeking, even when focused on extending that to as many people as possible, irresponsible. Tempering the desire for pleasure and turning your focus to advocating peace, tackling starvation, and tearing down or reforming the systems that bring about social injustice can allow for many more to experience that pleasure.

I don't pretend to have a deep understanding of the real concepts, only a minor understanding of how people simplify those schools of thought either for comfort, or gain, or simply because they enjoy it. What I hope is that one day we can imagine ourselves and our future actions as more complex than we do now, just as we should other people.

This morning, I've been listening to Death Cab for Cutie (they have a concert coming up I'll be attending, so I'm quite excited). A song that always stands out to me on listens is Grapevine Fires, the first song of theirs I listened to. That song turned out to be a bit of a turning point for me, moving from songs I listened to in movies or TV I liked, to bands I adored and would listen to the entire discography on. I don't think it's their best song, but it's incredibly important to me for that reason, silly as it might sound.

[songsandsophism]

We often see certain things we couldn't do without, at the very least, certain things it is incredibly hard to do without and still be happy, as luxuries.

Sometimes it's healthy food, fresh produce grown and stored in conditions that ensure safety and nutrition, sources of protein, even staple crops of regions find a great deal of their production shipped elsewhere, processed elsewhere so that profit margins are higher for companies that buy them.

Housing that keeps us sheltered from weather, that provides a place of respite in which dangers are minimised, often bought up in large numbers by companies that force families and individuals to leave or pay an ever growing percentage of their pay.

Healthcare that works so fewer children die, so fewer mothers die in childbirth. That ensures the unavoidable tragedies of injury can be resolved without crippling a person financially. Even in areas with affordable healthcare for the body, for those without wealth, often eyes go dark, teeth rot, and the mind festers.

Safety from those that would do you harm. I live in a country with police, prisons, and, of course, laws. And yet, only certain types of harm are punished to a rigorous standard. A violent assault may carry a few years of jail if you're lucky with which member of the police you report it to. Robbery or theft is often left unsolved unless it's of a large amount. Although protest a little too loudly for your rights, or receive slightly more support from the government than you're entitled to, and the hammer descends.

In many areas of the world, this barely scratches the surface. Water without disease, shelter from war, and many more necessities are held back, trickled by organisations that take a drop of the excess from the fortunate few in the world, for which service they take hefty sums themselves, as in their mind they are deserving of others' charity.

And so, I don't ask you to feel guilty for the luxuries you enjoy, but I do ask that you evaluate which of those are truly luxury, and why so many would insist to you certain things are.

Tonight's song is Pipe Dream by Signal Hill Transmission, so please, don't turn your back on me now.

[songsandsophism]

I find cancel culture a difficult idea to swallow. Not the idea of holding people accountable, or the refusal to spend money on goods that directly or indirectly benefit a person or company whose values and actions are harmful. What I find hard to swallow is the idea that it exists in the first place.

When a parent discovers a brand of baby food uses GMOs - a tool that has helped the world in reducing the number of people without access to affordable fresh produce - she may choose to stop purchasing that product, possibly even encourage others not to and call for it to be removed entirely. But, we don't call this cancel culture.

When people discover an entertainer, who offers age appropriate material such as reading a normal book written for children, is wearing clothing that does not align with their sex, demand they be banned from such activities, that the only reason they would do so would be to prey on children, that the act of dressing dramatically in that fashion is an inherently perverse thing (despite such acts having a long history in all forms of entertainment and particularly children's entertainment). But, we don't call this cancel culture.

When a parent learns their child is reading a book that portrays people in a way the parent doesn't agree with, or is critical of systems the parent benefits from, they might call for the book to be removed from their school's shelves, perhaps banned from education, possibly even banned entirely. But, we don't call this cancel culture.

So why, when a group of people, who are often denied basic respect on the grounds of who they are, find out a person, a politician, a company, a school, promote discrimination, hatred, and violence, whether directly or indirectly, and call for people to not support this, to take their money or their adoration or their trust elsewhere, do we call this cancel culture?

How is a "culture" of expecting basic human decency one of cancellation? Why when many demand things be changed because it does not align with their own values, do we not call it cancel culture? And more importantly, why when people demand to not be insulted, to not be harassed, to not be the victims of violence, or the victims of cruel legislation, and to not support those that would do such things, do we call this cancel culture?

It's just another smokescreen, a distraction. It makes scapegoats of those already trodden on and puts torches and pitchforks in the hands of those that would cancel everything not in their image.

This morning I have been listening to the Disney Fantasia soundtrack, not sure what I could make in terms of interesting commentry on this with my limited musical knowledge, so once again I'll just mention the song that gets my heart pumping. Night on Bald Mountain (It always scared me as a kid! Echoes of that fear just remind me I'm alive)

[songsandsophism]

People seem to put a high value on certain types of intelligence. For some reason, we see: a well-spoken person, with a large amount of academic knowledge, a degree, who is an author, teacher, or professional academic, and immediately assume them to be of the highest quality intelligence.

While I appreciate clear communication, a wealth of information, the depth of knowledge in a subject offered by university, and the official recognition of effort and prestige in degrees and titles, I find them to be of very little tangible value when speaking of intelligence.

At the very least I see them lacking when it comes to wisdom, which we often separate from "intelligence"; Separating wisdom from intelligence makes sense for a game, but in real life I don't think it's so valuable a distinction. From what I can glean intelligence is knowledge, with the skill to apply that knowledge to a task, and wisdom, is knowledge with the skill to apply it to a situation.

However, a task, and a situation, are very often one in the same. We seem to separate them purely on how the skills are acquired, intelligence is seen as the tool of the young, successful, and often wealthy (as they have better access to this type), gathered through books, educators, and often luck to have a mind suited for such tasks.

Wisdom, it seems is seen as the tool of the old, the poor, the fools, those with no value beyond their small insights. It's often gathered through doubt, experiencing hardship, talking to many people with a humble mindset, and a life pursuing comfort never offered, with people who walked a rough path alongside you.

Both are hard earned traits, but somehow the one that can be bought, that has an element of luck, that is difficult to acquire for the poor, or the disabled, is lauded as the only true intelligence that matters. Perhaps this is due to the system we live in, a person who can see the system, and see how to benefit from it, is more valuable to the system than the person who can see the system, and see how it rots from the top down.

Maybe one day we'll tear down the systems, and find one that holds up those who have learned from pain, so that others might not have to, that have learned with their community, so their community might grow stronger, that live a life varied and painful, so the good days seem all the sweeter. Maybe.

This evening I've been listening to Neutral Milk Hotel, an old favourite of mine and many others. Honestly I don't have the poise to even make small comments on lyrics that touch me, rather I'll simply mention the song that I'm feeling closest to today. King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1

[songsandsophism]

More and more as I grow older, I find my relationship with time to be strange. When you're young, a day seems to last a lifetime as we've had so few of them at that stage. And in many ways, as you grow older days are fleeting things, you be seen so many that those 16 or so hours you are awake for pass in moments.

However, in my eyes, the greatest marker of time passing is change. Darkness gives way to light for a short time, only to return and signal the night's rest. So, when life becomes mundane, and each fleeting day resembles the last, it's easy to find yourself viewing a day - not far removed from the one you occupy - to be more distant than it truly is.

The small rituals we humans hold dear in the day, breakfast, brushing our teeth, dressing ourselves, all stand to separate the days into segments, neat in our minds if not in truth. A change in these rituals can send a whole day to chaos (at least for me).

I find myself on a bus, or on a train, aware of a gnawing hunger, or the slight discomfort of tooth enamel unbrushed. It leaves me counting the minutes of the day that would likely pass by in anonymity, unmarked aside for that final tock of the clock hands signalling my time to return home.

So strange time is that, under the slightest pressure, it becomes such a malleable thing as to itch at my skull with every passing moment, aware of the slow steady line we trot.

Even now, I am unburdened by time's daily passing, in a state of flow as I focus on putting thought to word and word to meaning, if poorly. However, the slowness of time made mundane has me staring at a day, not even a week out, and wonder why it feels so far distant.

Well, time may be fickle, but a song is simple in the ears of the simple-minded (such as yours truly). So I can enjoy the minutes that pass listening to a song, and today's is Small Talk, by Faded Paper Figures. After all, we're watching the wall clock.

[songsandsophism]

Sometimes I wonder; If people spent half the amount of energy they spend on being in opposition to things that have no effect on them, on taking the time to think about the world we live in and how they could make it better for people around them, would we be so deep into a system of power and wealth that concentrates authority and capital to a small few who hide behind bureaucracy and business.

We spend so much of our energy fighting battles that benefit none of us, spurred by people who benefit from the fight distracting us. Innocent people are reduced to concepts. Because it's hard to look your fellow person in the eye and tell them they shouldn't exist. Because its hard to look them in the eye and say they should suffer for something did to them. Because destruction of a concept is more palatable than the genocide destroying those concepts represent.

The fights are varied, and their motivations, more so, but their effects are simple, a group are murdered, legislated, or hidden away from existence. A group is exploited for labour, population, or faith. And even if the fight is one, we're left tired, broken, blinded.

Even if we're blinded by tears of joy, we don't see the next fight being built with the same tools that brought the last.

It's a rough day so I've been listening to musical numbers from TV, film, and stage. While showtunes are my secret lifeblood and my hours listened to Heather's is getting ridiculous, the song I want to highlight today is My Frankenstein sang by Kodi Kavitha for Dead End: Paranormal Park (a show heartlessly taken from us by netflix far too soon.) It speaks in part to parasocial relationships and perhaps more so to a unique pain felt by Neurodivergent (Primarily Autistic) individuals betrayed by their hyperfixation. I cry every time, sue me.

[songsandsophism]

Sleep might be the strangest thing we all do, a small imitation of death we stage in order to stave off the exhaustion of living. However, sleep disorders and breathing problems leave me unsure of the point most of the time; I wake up sweating from a nightmare, or choking on my own throat, only to return to the restless slumber.

I wonder how many of our rituals which feel mundane to many are filled with dangers and trauma for some. It makes me worry, is there anything that all people share? Something that is a spark of joy that burns in the hearts of every person? Unlikely, but maybe one day, when we map the human mind in all it's complexity, when we can safely seperate the lands of thought and the sea of knowledge with no need for warnings of monsters among those vast seas, maybe then we'll find a small spark of joy we can all hold close, and feel the warmth together.

This morning I've been listening to Human Error by We Were Promised Jetpacks. I have no real musings to draw upon for this song, I'm a little too simple, to drawn by a sound that evokes emotion than the contents of that song. But the line

"So why decide that around there? Holding your tongue like it was your sword"

Always evokes the idea of someone staring you down with an expression of unearned superiority, that their moral high-ground in that they don't "stoop to your level" is a mercy, as if there words would cut you down without doubt.

[songsandsophism]

Second part in my musings on systems. Communism suggests a promise of equality for its' community, those in need receive and those who hold excess give freely. There's more to it of course, more than I'm qualified to speak on. However, the only way to support such a system is to live in a world without greed. I don't pretend humans are inherently greedy, nor do I pretend humans are inherently generous. Instead, I see an idea we know to be true, but is rarely understood in the context of these systems. Humans are complex, in all the beauty and horror possible, people hold multitudes inside themselves.

Truthfully, I desire a world of simplicity, where the noble can live in their sheltered garden, sharing the fruits of their labour. However even in that simplicity there is evil, a simpler one yes, but evil regardless. To protect the garden, its bounty, and the people who live in harmony with those around them, there must be those kept out. Striving for a community where all have what they need requires pruning those who would take more than their share.

It's easy to think a community could be made up of only those noble few, but generations come and go, and as there are those brought up in capitalism that gnash at the bit, desiring a more fair and equal distribution of wealth. It stands to reason there would there be those who, born into communism, desire more than they're given.

I should note, I don't speak of these to sway opinions of these systems, or sway people at all. I simply believe as with people, we should think of the systems built by people to be complex, worthwhile, and flawed. As long as there are people, there will be those offering a simple truth that clouds myriad facts and falsehoods. My examples will often be wrong, I'm no economist or anthropologist. And that's okay.

The song for this evening is Silence is Golden - Peddles On Our Pirate ships.

[songsandsophism]

Systems of power always work in theory, for better or for worse. Capitalism suggests a free market will ensure ever greater prosperity for those in it; Because what they make, and what they spend their money on has the influence required to regulate the market. But the taste of success that comes with a sale is merely the first dose of a dangerous drug, leaving a person who once had faith in a system addicted to the only thing such a system can offer. Excess for the few, at the cost of the many.

This morning I've been listening to some AJJ, the song I'd like to highlight today is Bad Stuff. I'm not sure as to what it speaks of, I lack the insight to draw true meaning from lyrics, but the verse:

"So I looked into your eyes And I saw the reflection Of a coward that you and I both hate very much"

Spoke to me, complimenting a heartless violence with the cold, sharp sense of self-loathing that leads so many people to darker places. Filling darker spaces in my life were similar feelings where I exposed the worst sides of myself, just to see the disdain I held for myself reflected in the eyes of those I cared for.