polygnosticu

[polygnosticu]

"The Owl House" has always been more about what its fans wanted it to be rather than what Dana Terrace actually created.

Willow isn't suppose to be blasian appearantly. IDK how I really feel about that. While I do understand the point of the OP, and how bad white people are at representing mixed races, I feel like it's such a step back from what Willow was.

It sucks cause its one step to clarify representation that then erases so many more representations. Like its cool to think of both Willow's dads as her bio dads. Its cool to think Willow was mixed! Even if her skin doesn't show it, cause well that can happen with mixed people! And I know thats the basis for white washing but having her not be mixed white washes a lot more when it comes to people shipping and drawing Willows kids. So many people with weird biases just got a pass to draw Willow and whatever fan kids she has as white as can be.

[polygnosticu]

hetcharacteroftheday, I don’t know if you’ve done anything similar to this already and if you have my apologies, but your blog is A+ and warrants a meme of solidarity.

Straight people and characters are not ‘boring’

Because their sexuality is not your entertainment.

When people complain about ‘fetishizing queerness,’ one of the arguments I always see is “LGBT+ people are not your entertainment.” Which is quite right. They’re not.

And by the same rule, straight people aren’t either.

These same people also say things like “Why be boring and straight when you can be not straight?” “Being straight must be so boring.” “Why do you want straight characters? They’re so boring!”

This shit, this shit right here, is what treats being LGBT+ like a fashion statement. Sexuality isn’t measured by it’s entertainment value. By calling straight people and characters boring, you’re saying that not being straight is more interesting. Trendy. Appealing. Entertaining. A person’s sexuality is not your entertainment. The entertainment value for characters is not in whether they’re straight or not. It’s in the story, and in having well-rounded characters with more than one defining trait. I see it said all the time that straight people shouldn’t treat queerness like it’s entertainment, well, guess what? Non-straight people shouldn’t, either.

~ Umbreon

[polygnosticu]

It bothered me how Luz treated her mother in the show. Camila is a good mom, yet Luz is quick to abandon and lie to her to fulfill her dream of becoming a witch without hesitation. She spends months lying to her mother, more worried about not getting caught than anything else. When the portal door is destroyed, Luz doesn’t freak out over whether or not she’ll see her mom again; instead, she’s more concerned about learning magic than Camila’s feelings. Even when she learns Vee has been parading as her for months, Luz is ecstatic because she can continue lying without her mother knowing she’s gone. I hated how Luz seemed so focused on achieving her dream that she completely disregarded Camila’s well-being without the writers ever having her realizing how awful she treated her.

You know, I would have been perfectly okay with Luz doing all of this if she had realized sooner how she treated her mother instead of feeling sorry for herself and focusing on helping Belos and having to leave the Boiling Isles due to a misremembering the conversation she had with her mother in Yesterday's Lie.

She's a teenager, teenagers do stupid things without thinking as it is a part of growing up and we wouldn't have half of the adventures in so many shows if it weren't for that, but she should have at least had enough awareness to understand what she did when Camila started crying. Luz was more torn between staying and going back than anything that had to do with what she did to her mother, not realizing that if it weren't for Vee, Camila would have been devastated thinking she lost her daughter on top of her husband. If Luz has a hard time missing a date to visit her father's grave with her mother, so much so that she lies to her girlfriend and shifts the focus to her, how do you think Camila would feel? There's no way she's not still grieving over Manny.

Luz went as far as making videos to show her mother that "it's okay" that she was gone instead of having a serious conversation and APOLOGIZING for what she's done. Now that I think about it, did Luz ever apologize to Camila for running off?

And, like a good mom, Camila set her own feelings aside to help Luz through everything, even going as far as pretending that she was okay with the Boiling Isles when you could see she was clearly confused and uncomfortable.

I hate how Luz was handled. She acts more like how a side character that doesn't grow from their actions than a protag who learns lessons the hard way and has them stick.

[polygnosticu]

We received a lot of replies to Fandom Problem # 9073 in rapid succession so I'm going to try to gather them all in one spot here.

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Anon:

To be honest, f/f and female characters fans are quickly becoming the most insufferable type of fans. They believe that f/f is superior and pure because neither woman has been tainted by disgusting, dirty men. But if you write them as anything more intimidate that kisses and braiding each other's hair, you're obvious a disgusting man who just wants to fap to women. Same with female characters in general. If a man likes her, he's objectifying her. If you write her as anything but the perfect Main Character who hates men, you obviously don't know a thing about women or just hate them. They state that writing women is so easy but in the next breath create a 100 point checklist on how to write said female character correctly. They also complain about the lack of f/f but the majority of them refuse to make any content themselves. They just want to control what others write or have them stop writing the stuff they don't like.

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Anon:

" You don’t need someone to hold your hand and tell you it’s okay to be straight " Did this person just assume op was straight, merely because they had m/f ships and didn't want to see them bashed on the basis of them being m/f? Ohhh boy, is that ever depressing. I'm ace. I'm agender. I'm in a wlw relationship. I have tons of m/f ships. Tell me you have a ton of internalized bigotry to unpack without telling me. They also kinda just, well, missed the point of the OOP if you ask me, but yeah.

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Anon (replying to this ask):

You're obviously a troll, but in all honesty, you're probably one of those f/f fans the OOP was talking about. No one said anything about gay people in real life, dumbass. F/F fans are not all lesbians. Look at M/M shippers; they're mostly straight women.

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Anon (replying to this ask):

This is such a "hit dog hollering" reaction that severely underestimates how gross people can get about het and m/f ships. It's not just "I think this ship which happens to be het is boring". It's "this ship is boring BECAUSE it's het or m/f. No other reason." It's "ew how could someone like a het or m/f ship." It's "only straight people would ship this trash lol." I shouldn't need to go on. I know multiple people who have been "accused" (because too many damn people on this hell site think being het is a sin, whoops) of being het just because they like a m/f ship, and I've witnessed multiple m/f ships of mine being shit on strictly on the basis of them being m/f, even though the characters and dynamic is incredibly, obviously rich and people like the same exact dynamics in gsy ships. It's a fucked-up kind of "too far in the other direction" social justice wank.

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Anon (replying to this ask):

There are so many posts floating around where people who are heavily, heavily invested in f/f ships outright accuse everyone who doesn't have an f/f ship (even if they've simply... just... never seen media with female characters they could ship) as lesbophobes. And they'll say they should die, wish death on them, and so on. As someone whose fav media is heavily, stupidly male-centric, where the few female characters don't have much opportunity to bounce off each other and accrue little "ship bunny" ideas in the first place, it's just so fucking stupid to me. But it happens so often.

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Anon:

That "its giving homophobia" ask is so wildly off base, I just can't, lol. So many assumptions. No one said anything about ships just being called "boring". Op said "bashed". And there are myriad incidents where people will, in fact, hate on and bash ships, and people who ship them, just because the ships are m/f! Fandom is about celebrating creativity and sharing our passion, for ships among other things, and who the hell cares if a ship, oh noesies, isn't m/m or f/f?! And you don't need to have the same orientation or identity as the ships you ship, that's just a truly sad way to look at things and assume in other people. So many straight women love gay and lesbian porn, and so many ace people love the kinkiest kind of allo shit imaginable, among so many other examples.

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Anon (replying to this ask):

This is why a lot of f/f shippers with that kind of mentality scare me. It smells like radfemmy "gender essentialism" rhetoric. I usually block them, because the vibes just aren't good. If you actually look at some posts where the mentality you describe is on display, a lot of the reblogs are people with "radfem" or "radfem learning" and other stuff in their descriptions.

[polygnosticu]

Hyping Ships Needs to Stop when:

Hyping ships needs to stop when:

- it is not canonical

- it is between two real life people

- it enforces a sexuality on a character that is not their canonical sexuality, whatever it may be

- it has a toxic tie to it, and any real relationship like it is very abusive *bakudeku, bakuracka and most bully x bullied ships

- it enforces ANY lgbtqa+ stereotype onto a canonically straight character to "prove" they are not straight

- it enforces ANY straight stereotype onto a canonically lgbtqa+ character to "prove" they are not lgbtqa+

*reminder to the non-straights that do the two above: you are not helping to stop the stigma around fetishizing non-straight relationships if you actively participate in this shit. If you complain about sexual or dirty stereotypes between two people of the same gender having affection while being friends, and do this, you are not helping for shit and are a hypocrite.

- it makes western and/or non-western close or distant friendships seem "gay" because showing physical or emotional affection or a tragic backstory to a friend that is the same gender is now gay, apparently

- it is very forced onto the creator and studio of the franchise when shippers start doing these things:

1. Shippers creating petitions to make their ship canon *happening with most anime ships, unfortunately. Happened to the steven universe studio to the point that someone quit because of it*

2. Shippers sending death or rape threats to the creator and/or studio members *steven universe shippers, hi there*

3. Shippers bullying other people for shipping CANONICAL SHIPS

4. Shippers constantly dragging the idea that "the character's sexuality is not mentioned DIRECTLY BY GOD HIMSELF so they must be gay, bi, pan, or ace"

5. Shippers using typical bro and homie moments to say a ship is canon and "hyping it up" on social media, which is basically putting pressure on the creator to not "let the fandom down!"

6. Shippers using well-bonded friendships where both characters have epic respect for each other for being "gay"

7. Shippers using clothing style and aesthetic to "prove" a character is not straight

8. Shippers call anyone who explains this a "homophobe" despite having these same rules against straight people pushing the hetero onto a clearly gay character

9. The ship is basically really bad fanservice for the gays/straights or anyone in between *mostly for iNcLuSiVitY / r e p r e s e n t a t i o n

10. Shippers saying that even though the character is not canonically gay, they still might be a "shy" bi or pan - even though the character's respect for certain characters and style DOES NOT PROVE ANYTHING, and a character's sexuality is clearly shown with BLUSHING or CLEAR FLUSTERING with males/females whenever a canonical crush or attraction is shown and NOT when someone gives them a goddamn compliment or bullies them because people get EMBARRASSED or just feel nice and blush jesus christ

11. SHIPPERS DO ANY OF THESE BUT INSTEAD OF THEM PUSHING NON-HETERO ONTO THE CHARACTERS, SHIPPERS PUSH THE HETERO ONTO A CHARACTERS

- NOTHING ABOUT THE CHARACTERS YOU ARE SHIPPING IS FUCKING CANONICAL OR SLIGHTLY CONFIRMED

Now, reminder that "There is not enough representation for lgbtqa+ couples in the media" is not a fucking excuse to push being lgbtqa+ onto a clearly and/or canonically straight character. Nor on the goddamn creator or studio. Do not create a goddamn "hype" with a large part of the fandom for a ship that is. Not. Canon.

Reminder that healthy friendships are typically based on idolization, empathy and affection and this never means these two people are non-hetero.

And by the way, these "totally gay" or "totally cute" ships actually ruin the way well-bonded friendships are seen between two people of the same gender. And WIDENS THE FUCKING STIGMA for non-hetero and hetero people to be in a friendship, since it assumes they want things to happen for both straight or non-straight friendships - just stop. If your defense to this is "the heterosexuals have been doing this forever, though!", then i am sorry, but you lost this debate. Us straight people haven't done this on purpose, it's what society has nurtured us to do whenever we see a guy and girl friendship - we automatically assume one or both wants more than a friendship, and this is totally a misogynistic take so gender roles get reinforced. So using "straight people have done this forever" just proves that you do understand you are partaking in the reinforcement of queercoding and toxic gender stereotypes and roles of human beings. People should try to do the opposite, and enjoy a really good platonic relationship. Straight shipping culture literally is despised by most straight females for the lack of female inclusivity, misogyny, queercoding, and female plot devices that have furthered away from us the ability to have male friends. Males now use "friendzone" jokes or harrass girls who they manipulated into being their friend since everywhere it is shown that all it really takes is for a guy to like a girl and to be in a friendship and boom, relationship. Straight women have hated this forever.

And "heteronormativity" doesn't really exist in creator's works. It's what the creator imagined their characters and relationships to be. If its all hetero, let it be hetero. If its all homo, let it be homo. If its a straight creator who made a homo character let them! If an lgbtqa+ person made a straight character let them! And I know people will question the first part on this list, but fanfics and fanart are never bad! I mean like the pedophilia and lewd sexist imagery definitely needs to get yeeted but other than that there ain't no problem! It's obvious it's an alternate storyline than the main franchise. :D

So any haters of this need to shut up and eat the fact that you are not the creator of the franchise, and you will not "convince" or "petition" or just put pressure for any ship to be canon onto the creator. I know this post is kind of agressive but I'm so tired of trying to explain it to lgbtqa+ shippers and homophobic anti-gay shippers about this stuff. So here is a last note:

Let creators make stories - complex characters each with their own styles and aesthetics and relationships - without the pressure of changing anything in it to fit society's queercoding or gender-roles, my broskis.

Thank you :D

[polygnosticu]

Fandom Problem #9050:

Why do so many people treat canon sexual orientation like it actually matter in terms of shipping

[polygnosticu]

you know the final season of a show is bad when ppl only praise the shipping and not the individual characters

[polygnosticu]

Fandom Problem #8988:

You will never be able to function in fandoms let alone society if you can't handle people disagreeing with you. This is something you should have learned to deal with in kindergarten.

[polygnosticu]

Fandom simply does not see psychology as a legitimate science and medical discipline. It takes years to decades of education, training and actual practice to be able to speak competently on the topic of psychology. It takes work to understand human psychology. Actual psychologists do not diagnose their patients by their "vibe".

Messy but Meaningful: Challenging Pop Psychology’s Unrealistic Expectations of Relationships in Fandom Spaces

By Crushbot 🤖 and Human Assistant 💁🏽‍♀️

The growing tendency in fandom spaces to apply pop-psychology frameworks to fictional relationships—such as Blitz and Stolas’s relationship in Helluva Boss—often oversimplifies the complexities of real-life human dynamics. While using psychological language to analyze media can deepen understanding, it can also lead to reductive and rigid interpretations of relationships. For the sake of argument, if Blitz and Stolas were real people, the expectation that both must be fully healed, emotionally stable, and entirely self-assured before engaging in a relationship reflects an unrealistic and idealized view of mental health and interpersonal growth.

The Myth of Complete Healing

One of the most common misconceptions in pop psychology is the belief that individuals must achieve complete emotional healing before they can engage in healthy relationships. This idea, while well-meaning, is rooted in an overly simplistic view of personal development. From a psychological perspective, healing and self-improvement are ongoing processes. Life circumstances, relationships, and personal challenges continually shape and reshape our mental and emotional landscapes.

Attachment theory, for example, suggests that relationships can be powerful arenas for healing. According to John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, attachment dynamics are formed in early childhood but can be reshaped in adulthood through secure and supportive relationships. Blitz’s and Stolas’s relationship, though imperfect, demonstrates how mutual care and connection can provide opportunities for growth. Stolas’s willingness to be emotionally vulnerable and Blitz’s gradual acceptance of his feelings suggest that their bond is helping each of them confront their emotional barriers, even if they’re not “finished” healing.

Relationships as Sites of Growth

Instead of requiring complete emotional stability as a prerequisite for relationships, many psychological frameworks view relationships as places where healing and growth can occur. In Helluva Boss, Blitz and Stolas’s dynamic reflects this principle. Their relationship, while messy and fraught with misunderstandings, provides opportunities for them to confront their vulnerabilities and develop healthier patterns of intimacy.

This idea aligns with Carl Rogers’s humanistic approach to psychology, which emphasizes the importance of relationships in fostering self-actualization. Rogers argued that empathy, genuineness, and unconditional positive regard are key ingredients for personal growth—and these qualities often emerge in relationships. While Blitz and Stolas struggle with these elements at times, their efforts to connect and communicate demonstrate a willingness to grow together.

The Role of Imperfection in Relationships

Pop-psychology discourse often pathologizes imperfection, labeling any relationship that involves conflict, miscommunication, or emotional baggage as “toxic.” However, conflict is not inherently harmful; it’s how individuals navigate and resolve conflict that determines the health of a relationship. Psychologist John Gottman’s research on marital stability highlights that even successful relationships involve conflict. The difference lies in whether partners approach disagreements with respect, empathy, and a willingness to repair after mistakes.

In the context of Blitz and Stolas, their struggles with power dynamics, vulnerability, and communication do not automatically render their relationship toxic. Rather, their willingness to acknowledge and address these issues—such as Stolas’s attempts to give Blitz more autonomy with the Asmodean crystal or Blitz’s growing emotional openness—suggests a dynamic that is evolving toward greater mutual understanding.

Realistic Expectations for Healing and Change

The expectation that adults must be fully healed and self-assured before entering relationships also neglects the reality that personal growth often occurs within relationships. Social learning theory emphasizes how individuals learn and adapt through observation and interaction. Relationships serve as a mirror, reflecting areas for growth and offering opportunities to practice new behaviors. For Blitz, his interactions with Stolas force him to confront his fear of vulnerability and his tendency to self-sabotage. For Stolas, being with Blitz challenges his understanding of intimacy and forces him to step beyond his royal privilege to engage in genuine emotional connection.

It’s also worth noting that personal growth is non-linear. Progress often involves setbacks, missteps, and moments of doubt. Relationships do not have to be perfect to be worthwhile or beneficial. The process of working through challenges together can strengthen bonds and foster deeper connection.

Rejecting Pop-Psychology Absolutism

The pop-psychologization of fandom spaces often reduces complex dynamics to overly rigid binaries: healthy/unhealthy, secure/insecure, toxic/healing. While these frameworks can offer insights, they risk ignoring the nuance of real-life relationships. Humans are messy, imperfect, and constantly evolving—and so are their relationships. Holding fictional characters (or real people) to unrealistic standards of emotional perfection perpetuates an unhelpful narrative that growth must be completed in isolation, rather than as a collaborative process.

Blitz and Stolas exemplify the idea that relationships can be messy but meaningful. They are imperfect individuals navigating their own traumas and insecurities, yet they are also actively working toward better understanding themselves and each other. This dynamic reflects a more realistic and compassionate view of relationships, one that acknowledges growth as a shared journey rather than a prerequisite for connection.

Conclusion

Expecting individuals to achieve complete healing before engaging in relationships is both unrealistic and at odds with what we know about human development. Relationships, particularly those marked by care and effort, can serve as powerful spaces for growth, healing, and transformation. Blitz and Stolas’s evolving bond in Helluva Boss illustrates this beautifully, showing that imperfection does not preclude progress. By challenging the rigid expectations of pop psychology, we can embrace a more nuanced understanding of relationships—both fictional and real—that values growth, vulnerability, and the shared journey of becoming better together.

[polygnosticu]

https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/784102733133316096/8856-this-is-literally-what-the-death-of-the

Death of the author has given me so much pause lately, because it feels like some people throw it around willy-nilly to validate how they read a very, very, say... Non-trans coded male character as trans, femme, and all sorts of other traits that are antithetical to how they actually appeared on screen, without any room for interpretation in that regard, and those people denounce anyone who didn't "read them that same way" (code for "project random-ass traits that had nothing to do with the character, onto that character").

"I interpreted it this way" is all fine and dandy, but there's a point where even personal interpretations aren't reasonably, or even at all, supported by even a modicum of what actually shows up on screen, in canon.

And it ticks me right off, lol.

Posting as a response to a previous ask.

[polygnosticu]

Fandom Problem #8844:

I'm not sure if this has been said before but if you go into a fandom and the only thing you do is headcanon characters and ship them with eachother and that is pretty much the ONLY thing you do, congrats you can't enjoy media anymore

Yes, headcanons and shipping is awesome, but seriously I've seen way too many people just straight up ignore canon or just forget about the story in general just because they're so absorbed in the characters that they just ignore the fact that headcanons originally were a thing where it was an idea backed up by evidence in the game or series instead of just "omg they give me [x] energy!!"

I've seen people treat diverse characters with complex backstories as nothing but an oc because they have one quirky trait about them and that overrides everything and more

I genuinely believe people have forgotten that "it's a headcanon!" is a pisspoor excuse for mischaracterization (also i wanna clarify that projection is different to headcanoning imho)

[polygnosticu]

They're just two children having a mutual crush. They're hardly the gold standard for aspirational relationships.

“The Owl House fandom (Lumity fans in particular) seriously needs to understand and accept that people are allowed to ship Luz with characters other than Amity. People are allowed to ship Luz x Willow. People are ALLOWED to ship Luz x Hunter! I mean, I get why people shouldn’t ship Amity with guys because she’s canonically a Lesbian, but Luz is canonically BI. 

Also, Luz and Amity aren’t dating (even if they was tho, people can STILL ship them with others, it’s fictional). Luz and Amity are 14 AND YOUNG. Their options are still open. People just need to stop trying to control and police what others ship just because Lumity is a popular ship. Geez…”

[polygnosticu]

“The Owl House fandom acts as if Amity is the protagonist instead of luz. The white favoritism is annoying!”

[polygnosticu]

U should make an owl house critical blog to counter the defendingtheowlhouse blog

There are plenty of critical blogs already that I contribute to. Without a unique take my blog would be just background noise. Defendingtheowlhouse blog is anything but. Say anything they can't counter-argue and they just block you. All they want is agreement and praise.

[polygnosticu]

Fandom Problem #8654:

I don't know who needs to hear this but its actually okay if your 'blorbo' is cis/straight/neurotypical. I am not bashing on headcanons but I swear I see such hot takes on a character that they can't be a filthy cis straight neurotypical because they can't like them if they are. Like dude. It's fine. You don't have to be exactly like a character to relate to them or find their character compelling. You're gonna give yourselves brain aneurysms with mental gymnastics like that.

[polygnosticu]

Fans: Dana had no time to flesh everything out because toh got cancelled!

Dana: *adds a whole new character and plotline, adds dumbass boscha & kikimora drama nobody gafs about, adds dumbass huntlow bait that only damaged Willow and Gus as characters, adds Luz acting irrational for no reason*

THIS. I fully understand that it was rushed, and it sucks ofc, but the time management is honestly aggravating. Just cut out a few plotlines, and don't add unnecessary new ones in FTF when there are more important thanks to adress!

[polygnosticu]

Fandom Problem #8630:

It's really tiring how currently 95% of every fandom posts are either about ships or sexuality preferences, even when the story is not about anything romantic at all. It seems like some of you can't enjoy things without flanderizing them to only one not really important feature.