pens-stuff

[pens-stuff]

"What It Feels Like"

When your inner peace is dismantled

You know what it feels like

Treading on the burnin' coal ankled

And the skin's peelin' off into ashes

That is when your humanity vanishes

And that is when he awakes

Who once lurked 'round the red lakes

The deepest red lakes

Of warm red veins- he makes

-you think the wrong's right

And now that he's up- he might

Engulf your patience

Gobble your conscience

You know that fastening

Him to the pillars of love

Is the only way

To save the day

But no love resides there anymore

For you know what it feels like

When your pump's walls are hardening

Nobody nearing the shore

For your blood's boiling hot

Like a fiery sea

You know that the waves shot

With composure can free

You from the captivation

Of the beasty soul

Once and for all

But the composure is dead

And so is the imagination

Of the consequences

For you know what it feels like

When your heart wrenches

With the outbreak of distrust

Even lying with people under a roof

Hasn't separated you from loneliness

So you've stayed aloof

Life's been a disgust

With overpowering darkness

And you have the notion

That the seed of trust

Is the mere just solution

But the bonds and ties

'Ve truned into lies

So you know what it feels like

When your own mind defies

You know how wrath's handled

At times you wrangled

Sensing defection

But the monster is awaken

You know what he looks like

Your reflection

Your mindfulness is taken

And the guidance

Can no longer diffuse silence

Into the air of violence

Since you know what it feels like

When your inner piece is dismantled

Like treading on burnin' coal ankled

And you know what it feels like

Abandoned and trampled.

[pens-stuff]

The actuality!

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐌𝐞

𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑚𝑒,

𝐼𝑛 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠, 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒. 𝑁𝑜 𝐵𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑜𝑟 𝑞𝑢𝑜𝑡𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑝 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠 𝑎𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘. 𝐵𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑝𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑠...𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑁𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟, 𝑛𝑜 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑖𝑡.

𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑑𝑜? 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑧𝑦 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑎 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒. 𝐴 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙, 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝑓𝑖𝑔𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑡. 𝐼 𝑔𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑒𝑝𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙, 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑦 𝑖𝑡. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛’𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑡 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛’𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑐𝑟𝑦 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡, 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜 𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑦 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡. 𝐼𝑡 ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑡𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑒, 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑙.

𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑, 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑛𝑑, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑔𝑜...𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒...𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑔𝑜. 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑜 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤?

𝑊𝑒𝑙𝑙, 𝐼 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓.

𝐼 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓.

𝐼 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒.

𝐵𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢.

𝐵𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢.

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑒.

𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦.

𝑃𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑜𝑟 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑑𝑜.

𝐵𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼’𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ.

[pens-stuff]

"Ariana Grande's

7 Rings"

Fanart cr: Julia Stutzz

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No promise purer

than the one made to

'SELF'

~I is all that matters!

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Nobody does.

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"Noah Cyrus' The End Of Everything"

is the perfect way to feel the pain out of the bitter truth of the ultimate human limitation- mortality!

Nothing lasts forever!

'You are born alone and you die alone'

And the mid status may compel you to believe that you're always surrounded but the truth is even your shadow leaves you when there's no light watching your back!

Sharing bonds with people and synchronizing your emotions with theirs may fill your soul with contentment and liveliness but that liveliness soon fades away with the encountering of the deepest sorrow- their death!

Understanding the reality is the only way to overcome your grief.

And the reality lies in the fact that you've got a body bagged up with organs well synchronized with a soul so as to function smoothly and nothing else you've got. Everything is nothing but an illusion so don't get too engrossed in it or else prepare your mind for the toughest battle of life!

[pens-stuff]

"Phases"

Stars dimmed in the sky

So pack up the moon

And so let the birds fly

Golden rays- a boon

Raise thy spirits high

High above the typhoon

Beneath thy cloudland lie

The cravings of the lingering blue moon

Catching 'em fireflies is nigh

The night auroral light trails- strewn

For the stars dimmed the sky

So let the mellowness vivify

'Til the next bright languid noon