nonatanahlada

[nonatanahlada]

in another universe

[nonatanahlada]

esquire korea dino x seventeen home

[nonatanahlada]

la la lost you | seventeen wonwoo

based on niki's la la lost you

visibly anxious, your left fingers are clutching a bit too hard onto your coat's sleeves as your right ones are busy holding your suitcase. your eyes are dead glued to the ground because there would be too much sadness if you were to dare to lift your eyesight. then there is your boyfriend—correction, ex-boyfriend—namely jeon wonwoo standing in front of you, baring the same anxiousness and sadness but flashing a vague smile as a front instead.

suddenly wonwoo pulled your left fingers off, "don't clutch your sleeves too hard, it will wrinkle."

you brought yourself to face the man in front of you and an insane amount of sadness could be seen in your face. to say how your face breaks wonwoo's heart is definitely an understatement.

"see... even little things like this, like telling me not to clutch my sleeves, i don't even know how to do these things without you," you responded with a desperate tone.

"and this is exactly why you need this, why i need this, why we need this," wonwoo sighed. "we've become way too dependent on each other, it's as unhealthy as it could ever be."

you are left speechless for the nth times because the both of you have had enough of this same old conversation. it all started around three months ago when you were offered a work promotion from the new york headquarters.

initially, you wanted to reject the offer since you think it's impossible for you to move across the country without having wonwoo by your side (his work requires him to stay in the west coast for another five years). but wonwoo being the sensible self he is surely pushed you to take the offer, saying that it's ridiculous of you for not taking it just because he won't be there. this difference of perspectives led to consecutive heated debates and eventually a serious fight in which the both of you didn't hesitate to yell harsh things you both actually didn't mean to.

after going through a week of the 'not talking phase', wonwoo made it clear that you both are too dependent on each other hence the relationship had been unhealthy. despite feeling deeply hurt at that time, you knew that it was indeed the truth. so you both broke up and you accepted the promotion.

and now here you are in the airport heading to new york with wonwoo sending you off. right before you tried to find another thing to say, the airport's announcer has called for your flight—it's time for you to go.

"is this truly a farewell?"

wonwoo scored his usual gentle smile instead.

his smile still warms you up the same, "then... can i hug you? for the last time, at least before i go."

"of course you can."

you quickly crushed your body to his and the hug felt beyond comfortable. the way wonwoo embraced you hasn't changed even a little bit since the first time you met—it's still warm, tight, and most importantly it never fails at making you feel secured also contented.

"thank you," you tried your best to flash a smile. "i love you, i still do."

wonwoo didn't answer back.

you wonder while walking yourself through the departure gate, does he not love you anymore?

when you find yourself already seated in the plane, you checked your phone before it takes off. you noticed that you have an unread text from last night that reads,

[Jeon Wonwoo]: Hope New York holds you.

then a new text appeared,

[Jeon Wonwoo]: Hope it holds you like I do.

wonwoo loves you, he still does.

[nonatanahlada]

[06.04 pm] | seventeen mingyu

[06.04 pm] your head is peacefully rested on mingyu’s sturdy shoulders while his head is on top yours. both of your limbs tangled comfortably by the end of the bed. the culinary art show the tv is currently playing has transformed into a background noise as you both are actually too busy to care for anything but the amount of comfort and warmth you get from cuddling each other.

[nonatanahlada]

summer july 17th

i stared at the sky a bit too long this morning. it was blue, a little rosy in the corner. as the violet tinted my bare feet, i realized that it's summer now. it's summer and it's july 17th. summer and july 17th remind me of you.

summer and july 17th would have smelled like the sun, warm and vital. but it has been long since i thought about it—you might not be the most genuine definition of warmness and vitality, yet you might be of kindness.

kindness doesn't always come in a sun basked form. it often comes in many spiteful ways. it comes in your unspoken reassurance, it comes in your hidden prayers for wellness—eventually, it comes in a form of farewell so that you and i can grow into more humane humans. it is bitter and it is still kindness.

kindness is versatile. it's something pure, it's something tainted. it's so easy, it's so complicated. it's everything you do in your quarter century of existence.

you embody july 17th, you are summer.

you embody kindness, you are kind.

p. s. happy belated birthday, wonwoo!

[nonatanahlada]

playwright!wonwoo x actor!jun

jeon wonwoo is the critically acclaimed playwright for the country's most famous theatre, but little do people notice that he doesn't really write romance plays. he thought that he's not 'experienced enough' of love affair to be able writing something about it. well, at least it was like that until the theatre hired a rising shenzen born actor to substitute the lead actor who badly injured his ankle while rehearsing—the name is wen junhui. at first, it was rather tricky for wonwoo to adjust his writing for someone who perfectly embodies the term lively oddball. fortunately, it doesn't take long for him to acknowledge how the actor is overwhelmingly talented, ridiculously ethereal looking, and somehow making the playwright completely enchanted under the spell of his personal charm.

i've had this prompt(?) in my notes for a while and let's say i lack the will to turn it into a complete writing so here it is i guess? also, i beta read it while listening to light a flame lol

[nonatanahlada]

[9.06 pm] | seventeen wonwoo

based on wonwoo's part in fronting

[9.06 pm] under the red lights, wonwoo and you stopped by while waiting for it to turn green and continue your way home. the road is slightly wet from the quick downpour and it makes your side profile being captivated in such a dramatic and harsh lighting—in which according to wonwoo, just made your entire existence more beautiful in his eyes.

wonwoo isn't sure where does he get all the sudden boldness but he scored a rather risky question, "what do you think about kissing?"

you whipped your head to face wonwoo's side after hearing his rather risky question. you both kinda know that you have romantic attraction toward each other but too reluctant to confront it, guess it's the time to do something about it.

so you moved one step closer, grabbed wonwoo by his collar, and simply closed your eyes.

it was short but a sweet kiss for sure.

"i was only asking about your opinion in kissing but instead i get to know you're the type to grab someone by the collar and okay with pda," wonwoo chuckled right after the kiss, his nose scrunched cutely in happiness (a bit of tmi but you always find them endearing).

you joined the chuckle, "well, i didn't know you're the romantic type too, asking my opinion about kissing under the red lights."

[nonatanahlada]

아 그리고 달이 참 밝네요 | seventeen wonwoo

loosely based on 180906 wonwoo ending ment during ideal cut in japan, enjoy!

it is thursday, specifically a rainy one at night. you have just finished your work and ready to leave the office until a certain notification from your phone caught your attention.

[Jeon Wonwoo]: Are you still up for the dinner? You know that we can always reschedule it.

oh my, the mere mention of his name already made your senses overwhelmed in a good way.

jeon wonwoo is... a childhood friend? your long-time crush? the only one who succeeded at making you feel home by simply looking at his cat-like eyes? well, you like to call him your kindest companion; more than a treasured childhood friend but less than the love of your life despite the thought of you actually loving him seriously has occurred several times—feelings are scary when they involve someone you’ve known your whole life, you thought.

your senses regained their composure and you quickly responded to wonwoo’s text.

[You]: yes, i’m still up. i’ll be waiting outside the building, just text me when you got here.

[Jeon Wonwoo]: Wait inside the lobby, it’s raining.

with that being said, you're doing as wonwoo asked that is waiting for him inside the lobby.

for more context, wonwoo and you are childhood friends. you both used to attend the same school since kindergarten but got ‘separated’ during university and this made you initially assumed that you both would drift apart, though what happened was the total opposite. you both managed to keep in touch by texting and/or facetiming at ungodly hour, either ranting about troublesome projects or breaking down over stressful finals week. you've seen each other in your most vulnerable states and surely it strengthened the bond between.

after a little over fifteen minutes of waiting, your vision caught a familiar tall figure in a typical urban office worker attire, his slightly wet hair almost reached his cat-like eyes, also the round glasses that you always find endearing on him from time to time—it's no other than wonwoo.

"did you wait long? i have the umbrella with me."

"i'm sure you know the answer to that question," you grinned. "you're not the type to make others wait and if it's you i know i can wait for an eternity."

wonwoo just chuckled at your remarks and you both made your way to his car while sharing the umbrella. after putting the umbrella in the backseat, wonwoo drove the way to the agreed restaurant. the restaurant was nice, you both enjoyed the meals and managed to talk about a lot of stuff. then it was almost midnight when wonwoo suggested that he should drive you home soon as the both of you still have work tomorrow.

"i'll walk you until the elevator," wonwoo said as the sight of your apartment's building started to be visible.

"okay."

you've already stepped inside the elevator yet wonwoo is still there—just a few steps in front of the elevator, but instead of facing you, his eyes are glued to the lobby's window that is displaying the night sky. right before the elevator's door got closed, wonwoo turned his back then said-

"oh and the moon is so bright."

suddenly, your mind is being flooded with a particular high school memory. there were wonwoo and you baring younger facial features, wearing the sunkissed school uniforms, sitting next to each other in the town's library after school. he was reading a copy of natsume soseki's cat and you were doing your physics homework. it was quiet until wonwoo said something that you still hold closely until this day.

"did you know that the saying 'the moon is beautiful' or ‘the moon is so bright’ could be interpreted as 'i love you'?"

"hm? no... i guess?" you responded, a bit surprised.

“it is said that when natsume soseki was still working as a high school english teacher,” wonwoo started to explain with his index finger pointing to the name ‘natsume soseki’ on the book he was reading. “he told his students that men shouldn’t say ‘i love you’ blatantly in english, saying ‘the moon is beautiful or so bright’ is enough—it reeks of fragile masculinity and stuff but all things aside, don’t you think it’s such a romantic line to tell your beloved?"

you took a while to process it, “why the moon though? i think the rainbow could have been a better choice instead.”

"it is widely believed that the particular image soseki or at least the people at that time had was someone walking home their beloved at night and during nighttime the thing that stood out the most was the moon, though i have my own opinion about it.”

“i want to know your opinion about it," wonwoo and his thoughts are always interesting anyways.

wonwoo scored a gentle smile, "the moon could be interpreted as the symbol of eternity, it has been going through its phases even before the humanity discovered how the solar system works and might even continue when the world went mad. the moon also always looked so serene and still as if it’s a faithful soul. those traits are valued in the art of loving someone hence the moon is the proper symbol of love.”

you hummed in agreement—see, wonwoo and his thoughts are always interesting.

later the day, wonwoo walked you home. yet right before you close your household's door, he said something with his eyes glued to the night sky.

"the moon is beautiful, isn't it?"

but somehow the both of you decided to act as if it never happened until this day.

back to the present day.

wonwoo literally just said the same thing with the most similar setting ever—he walked you home at night and said the phrase while his eyes were glued to the night sky. you were in a deep daze over what just happened even after the long warm shower. once you sat yourself on the bed, your phone showed a notification.

[Jeon Wonwoo]: I am sure you understood what I was trying to say earlier though I apologize for being a coward about it,

another notification came in.

[Jeon Wonwoo]: But I meant it, I've always been.

relief, that's all you can feel at the moment.

[You]: the moon is beautiful and so bright too here :)

[nonatanahlada]

why are you touching my hair? | seventeen mingyu

sunday morning rain is falling; while waiting for your boyfriend to wake up, you decided to fry some bacon. then you heard gentle footsteps that suddenly stopped once you felt that someone is standing right behind you. well, it's no other than kim mingyu—your said boyfriend.

mingyu is naturally clingy and in this kind of situation he would have back hugged you, but somehow... he's touching your hair instead?

"why are you touching my hair? i thought you were going to hug me like the usual," you asked, a mixture of being rather surprised and playful could be heard from your tone.

mingyu's fingers are still lingering in your hair, caressing it as if it's the most precious thing in the world.

"it feels like you just cut your hair yesterday but turns out it's already long enough to tie it," mingyu replied with a voice raspier than usual as he just woke up.

"the yesterday you're referring to is four months ago, gyu..." you chuckled.

grip.

mingyu's fingers stopped touching your hair and he secured your waist in his comfortable arms with his head resting peacefully on top of yours—in other words, you get your usual morning back hug back!

"four months felt like a second when i'm with you."

cheesy, you thought. but it's mingyu, so you caught yourself a blushing mess with the smell of bacon all over the room.

[nonatanahlada]

merry summer christmas | enhypen sunghoon

it's barely past eight pm and you just had dinner with your longtime significant other who is no other than park sunghoon. the both of you are now curled up comfortably on the couch while tuning in to a classic christmas movie in the middle of summer night.

then comes the overplayed comedic relief that made sunghoon smiled, accentuating his dimple gracefully on his cheek. your fingers unconsciously started to trace gently on his snow fair cheek, stopped right on the not so shallow dimple while giving light massages to the attractive indentation.

"it is unfortunate how underrated your dimple is," you muttered, rather sulky.

sunghoon shifted his attention from the movie to your statement, his widening smile deepened the said dimple, "at least you noticed and appreciated it, that's the most important one for me."

"cheesy," you cringed playfully.

"whatever-" the movie suddenly displayed a mistletoe, "merry summer christmas, love." sunghoon left a warm peck on your forehead.

"merry summer christmas too, love."

[nonatanahlada]

enhypen 02z as (not so) cliche character tropes in school slash campus setting

jay as the campus playboy

first of all, jay’s actually just too nice to reject love confessions instead of finding amusement in playing people's feelings *sighs*

and you—being the ordinary student™—kept your distance with him and simply thought of him as an asshole with pretty face just like the majority.

not until you shared this one particular class and got partnered up for a term long project!

you expected the worst and all you two did initially were nonstop bickering lol

but as you both spent time together more, you got to understand each other better despite the huge gap between your personal values :)

oh, you eventually witnessed how he can't really reject confessions too!

ended up with you casually confronting(?) it at one of your discussion for the project, "you should start taking care of your reputation you know?"

and jay would be ‘what reputation???’

then you explained the whole concept of how his incapability of rejecting confessions created this campus playboy reputation and how it will never do him any good.

it felt like a wake up call for him, surely he didn’t change entirely in a night but it gets better from time to time (jay is really thankful of you for this)

you both would keep in contact after the long term project ended—mostly throwing friendly slash healthy banter in the hallways and random midnight drives—the drives are really random for real, jay could simply text you at like 2 am and you’ll find yourself sneaking out to his car that is already waiting nearby your residence then eating jay’s self cooked stuff while watching the sunrise).

expect winning the senior prom’s best bro award :D

jake as the nation’s sweetheart

if God has favorites then jake must be one of it.

fine looking, straight a student, in the varsity soccer team and orchestra, well off background, also the way he treats others is just? so?? sweet???

his way of treating others could be easily mistaken as a flirting attempt but everyone knows he’s just naturally that way, so sweet and caring :(

none can hate him even the grumpiest physics lecturer, everyone loves him!

you’ve never had the chance to interact with him but based on your friends’ accounts you think of jake as a kind person in general.

until one day after class, you were feeding the stray animals around the campus ground as usual despite the pretty heavy rain.

you were drenched but you didn’t bother as these cute fur friends needed you :(

but then, you somehow felt the rain stopped falling over and it was The jake sim’s doing!

looking fine as usual with his sweet smile on, his hand holding an umbrella to keep the rain falling over you

“i always see you feeding these cute friends after class and i thought that is really kind of you, but it’s raining pretty hard today so i was wondering whether are you okay or not- uh, do i sound like a creep? i didn’t mean to! my math class is conducted in this area so i can’t help but to always see you-”

you quickly assured him that you’re chill about it (almost everyone knows about your habit of feeding the stray animals around the campus anyways)

then from this, jake and you started to get closer to the point you both won the senior prom’s best fur parents bff award <3

sunghoon as the celebrated athlete

a whole national figure skating athlete with outstanding track record and fine looking visuals!

as a student, well.. he doesn't really attend classes due to his career and when he does he would be sleeping most of the time.

the teachers kinda let him since they all know that him attending classes twice or thrice a week is more than enough lol

except for this one teacher in which they won't sugarcoat sunghoon’s grades and he needs to pass to graduate! so, guess what?

that teacher immediately asked you to be his tutor ;)

fortunately, he’s easy to tutor with. but it doesn’t change the fact that the tutoring sessions were awkward and sometimes unbearable lol

half times they were you trying to explain the materials, sunghoon asking about the things he doesn’t understand, then you answering them in the shortest simplest way, then the rest were total silence.

skip forward to the end of the term, sunghoon spared a time (he was busy preparing for the olympics) to treat you lunch :D

“you could’ve used all the time we spent on other tasks but honestly i’m so grateful for the help. you’re really great at explaining things, no wonder the teacher immediately asked you. thank you, i really meant it.”

and he smiled, widely.

yes, The park sunghoon with capitalized ‘the’ smiled widely at you. oh Lord, the boy is surely so charming with that dimple and pretty eyesmile!

after that, you both barely interacted but expect him proposing you to be his senior prom date and confessing how he has been admiring you for a while *giggles*

[nonatanahlada]

malibu nights | enhypen jay

trigger warning! suggestively and/or mention of suicide

based on malibu nights by lany

losing you isn’t something jay would have ever wished—leave alone wishing it, he never dared to think neither imagine it. he simply can’t lose you, he needs you first and foremost.

but then, he lost you.

Phone is quiet, walls are bare No one even has to know I'm dealing with it on my own I got way too much time to be this hurt

hundreds of missed calls, thousands of unread texts. many tried to reach him, making sure he’s still there yet it just emptied him further—the pity, the grief, the void confinement of your shared apartment, everything.

hours lingered, midnights passed, and jay’s still the happiest about you—and maybe that’s why he’s the most devastated about you too, maybe.

What do you do with a broken heart? Once the light fades, everything is dark

it’s not like jay wanted to settle himself in the tragedy forever, he tried almost everything to get back on his feet after a while. yet losing you turns to be a long life haemophilia, it bleeds, bleeds, and bleeds—until he found himself drowning in the deep sea of cerise sadness.

I feel my body giving up Can I hold on for another night? What do I do with all this time?

so the universe decided to put his fight to an end. he has engraved your existence way too deep nevertheless—too deep that rather than healing the eternal scar, why not pierce it further?

rest easy, love.

[nonatanahlada]

don’t you think you’ve forgotten something? | enhypen heeseung x enhypen sunghoon

as someone wise once said; getting your id card, hitting your 20s, and eventually entering the bustling busy workforce world don’t automatically turn you into a full fledged responsible adult in a blink—being naturally forgetful, clumsy, and has this odd tendency of losing his things multiple times (expensive ones included, imagine losing three pairs of earphones in less than a year), lee heeseung can totally relate to the wise saying. hence why he won’t stop thanking the world for making him falling in love with park sunghoon—his long time best friend, roommate, and eventually boyfriend who’s younger yet much more careful and has better self management compared to himself.

and this morning was pretty much the same; heeseung stayed up late to play fifa with ni-ki (the high school prodigy who lives next door) despite having an early shift and ended up waking up late. sunghoon surely tried his best as usual in assisting so the older won’t mess up things further.

and right before heeseung opened the shared apartment’s door-

“don’t you think you’ve forgotten something?” sunghoon asked playfully, subtle smirk spread across his face.

heeseung stopped his rushing steps, whipped his head to see sunghoon wearing his playful smirk. he took the time to process what the younger meant, somehow not caring at the fact he’s running up late.

oh.

and heeseung simply left a light peck on sunghoon’s lips, leaving the bittersweet taste of his familiar coffee on the younger’s cherry balmed lines.

total silence for a moment.

“wait, why is your face turning red? are you perhaps feverish-“ heeseung left confused and worried.

“Lord, why do i even date someone as clueless as you?” sunghoon quickly replied. “well, i appreciate the kiss but what you’ve forgotten is this.” his hands revealing heeseung’s wallet, face a blushing mess as he isn’t really one for physical affection despite actually liking it.

“you don’t need any reason to date someone like me, hoon.” heeseung cheekily responded.

“i’m unimpressed with the self confidence, mr. lee—anyways, see you later then?”

“see you later, love!”

[nonatanahlada]

[12.08 am] | enhypen sunghoon

[12.08 am] "i'm home!" the familiar voice of your long time boyfriend—park sunghoon, could be heard across the studio apartment you both have been sharing since freshman year.

you spared a glance to the clock in the wall and it's already past midnight, yet sunghoon just barely got back from his daily practice—the life of a competitive figure skater, especially as a part of the national team representing the country, is indeed tough.

"how was practice?" you asked as soon as the glimpse of sunghoon's figure caught your vision.

"tiring as usual; managed to minimize the amount of my body meeting the ice ground though, the coach also said i've been doing pretty well these days," the figure skater replied with a hint of tiredness, both hands still busy taking off his shoes and padded jacket.

"that's great then?" you assured, sleepy smile spread across your face.

he subtly nodded then made his ways to you, arms automatically embraced your soft knitwear covered body that has been sitting on the couch for hours.

"i missed you," sunghoon's frail whisper made its way to your hearing, somehow lulled you to deep slumber.

and later, you both would found yourselves cuddling to sleep on the couch until the sun rises—also running late to your respective college classes, but at least the recollection of such comfortable and warm night in each other's embrace made your rather tough morning easier.

[nonatanahlada]

do you ever love someone | tbz younghoon x tbz hyunjae

it started with a typical saturday night—quiet and dim lighted for kim younghoon's minimalistic apartment unit on the twelfth floor of the whole building. september just ended and the season is transitioning from a scorching summer to rather windy fall. thinking that by having his longtime bestfriend and actually romantic interest came over to fill the chilly gap tonight, there is lee jaehyun in the other side of the dining table. the both of them just finished the dinner younghoon cooked himself with a bottle of wine from one of the finest château jaehyun's or hyunjae's (there are too many jaehyun's around so) fancying over. then the lee asked if he could stay over as he is too drunk to drive himself back in which the kim surely agreed to.

the both of them changed to more comfortable fits, brushed their teeth, and moved directly to the shared bed. being bestfriends since they were newborns in the hospital ward—family friends and its perks they said, made sharing the same bed as an occasion that is not to be fussed about too much. though as younghoon realized his romantic interest towards hyunjae, this slightly succeeded in fastening his own heartbeat. not wanting to be more flustered than he is at the moment, younghoon quickly pulled up the covers and asked hyunjae to turn off the bedside lamp.

moments have passed and the kim has successfully reached the deep unconsciousness—in the opposite, the lee is still trying to find the comfortable state to fall asleep. hyunjae knew there is something bugging inside his mind recently and somehow he got this odd guts saying that it would fade away the moment he asks it out to younghoon.

"hoon?" hyunjae somehow couldn't resist the urge to ask. though he might be an asshole at times, he would never really want to disturb others' deep slumber—yet his odd guts literally made the decision that he should this time.

the one being asked—younghoon, randomly mumbled then changed his position from backing away to face him kind of properly. his eyes tightly shut but hyunjae is sure that his ears are all in.

"can i ask you something?" hyunjae continued.

younghoon chuckled weakly as the sleepiness is still there—he proceeded to reply in his morning voice (it was a little over midnight at the moment in fact), "mind you that 'can i ask you something' is already a question, jae."

ah, kim younghoon and his subtle teasing nature, hyunjae thought.

younghoon was never the type to intentionally make others flustered by teasing them—he absolutely doesn't need to and it's more of hyunjae's kind of thing, but he does though he only shows it to selected few including hyunjae.

"i'll take that as a yes," hyunjae sighed and younghoon noticed the seriousness and anxiousness the other had, he tried harder to open his eyes.

"do you ever love someone so much at the point it scares you to tell them what you're actually feeling?"

oh my Lord, oh my good Lord.

this is absolutely nothing kim younghoon would expect to hear from someone like lee jaehyun—the lee jaehyun he's known since the very first memory he had in mind, the one that is known as a true heartbreaker (the nice one though, the type to keep things genuine but only for a short period of time—never cheated or something like that). he couldn't even keep up with the number of girls and actually guys hyunjae have dated with over the years. the lee possessed God gracious sculpted good looking physical appearance, literal jack of all trades, interesting personality, and those qualities are surely attracting many.

but then his mind traveled back to the fact that hyunjae asked something like 'do you ever love someone so much at the point it scares you to tell them what you're actually feeling?', that's a question only a true romantic would ask! younghoon never took him as a true romantic as hyunjae has too many hearts broken under his name and it should numb his concept of romance. yet younghoon quickly got over it—hyunjae is an honest bastard, sometimes way too honest and that is why he is a bastard. the way he can't tell whoever he meant about his feelings must be torturing him deeply (younghoon was not sure that they were really talking about hyunjae himself though).

"hoon? uh, i guess that was odd? well, let's forget it and sorry for disturbing your sleep. get back on it, good night-"

"i do, and i still am," younghoon—still with eyes struggling to open and morning voice, cut off the other quickly.

and it's you, the one i'm loving way too much at the point it scares me to tell you the truth.

hyunjae felt a timid surprise throughout his system as he sees younghoon as someone similar to himself, a heartbreaker—though more in the calmer side with prince like outlook and somewhat unapproachable as he has this shy introvert nature. but a heartbreaker is still a heartbreaker by the end of the day right?

"it's the best of not really the best feeling ever, you got it?"

hyunjae hummed quietly, he agreed though—the best of not really the best feeling, it is as messed up as it sounds.

"why?" younghoon tried to continue the conversation as he noticed that hyunjae's hum could end everything they have at the moment.

"why what?" hyunjae asked back, eyes finally fell on the august born he's known all his life.

"why did you ask something like that? especially to me at this hour."

hyunjae felt his throat drying up, he lost the strength to answer somehow. yet younghoon patiently waited while staring back at the september born's twinkling orbs.

"i didn't know either—my odd guts told me to ask you, it has been bugging my mind recently," hyunjae replied after a solid ten minutes of silence.

younghoon hummed, "you have someone in mind then? the one who made you thought of it."

the idea of someone strucked hyunjae like a blazing lightning inside his mind—someone, someone he has known way better for way too long. and younghoon kind of got the memo, oh please keep in mind that neither the two of them were never the clueless type—they're literal heartbreakers, know how romantic interest works, and have been understanding each other the best.

and just like that, younghoon shifted from his laying position to sit himself up on the bed with eyes finally wide awake. he simply leaned closer and unsurprisingly hyunjae kept still—not showing any sign of uncomfort at the disappearing space between. they could feel each others' pacing breath as their nose tips began to touch each other. but as the party who has been realizing longer, worries and hesitation started to grow on younghoon—luckily, hyunjae being the risk taker he is noticed it and took over the lead.

do it, just do it. now or never, once for ever.

and there you go—

lee jaehyun kissed kim younghoon right on the lips at sharply 1 am on the shared bed of minimalistic apartment unit on the twelfth floor during the transition of summer to fall.

the kiss—it was a quick peck actually, a chaste one too. it happened too fast at the point the both of them kind of forgot how each others' lips tasted like (kind of 'gross' but guess that's just how people in love act).

"can i do it again?" hyunjae asked in rather small voice, risking it all in the contrary.

younghoon simply nod.

and they kissed, again. this time longer, more demanding, and filled with various unsaid feelings. through that, younghoon learned that hyunjae's lips tasted like a warm wine from a certain château—it was drunkenly sweetening. hyunjae also learned how younghoon's lips tasted like the softest combination of cherry and coffee—it sounded weird but he loved it.

"i never really thought we would—more on myself though, develop romantic interest to each other," hyunjae opened the conversation as they parted the contact.

"i thought the world has gone mad the moment you asked that question earlier," younghoon smiled vaguely.

"how long has you realized yours though, hoon?"

"two to three years, i guess? i'm not particularly sure either, i just happened to wake up one day and realized i wanted to kiss the hell up of your lips and spend my entire life with you."

"cheesy," hyunjae cringed.

"but i like it, let's do that."

"let's do that."

[nonatanahlada]

new | hyunjun hur

based on baragi by hyunjun hur

it has been more than a year of rather toxic continuous cycle going on in your romantical relationship with hyunjun. it would either start with one of you misunderstood something and the other just wouldn't want to give explanation, ended up with both of you shouting at each other with terrible bottled up emotions the next several weeks. though you both would eventually make it up, it's starting to be way too much for you to cope.

until this night came; you just got home from your work and plopped your back on the couch, yet you could sense that hyunjun was busy doing something in the bedroom area. well, hyunjun and you shared this apartment after college graduation to cut cost and many other reasons.

then hyunjun appeared in front of you, looking rather tired too and not to mention the suitcase and backpack he has on his hands and shoulder. you frowned at the sight—why would your romantical partner showing up like this?

"let's.. take a break?" hyunjun opened the conversation in rather questioning manner.

oh, the words you've been wondering when to hear for a while. you just kinda know that eventually either one of you would say it first.

"let's take a break," you're surprised at how you still managed to response properly—did you fall out love with him, you wonder. or maybe.. you were just so tired of the toxic cycle going on.

hyunjun smiled, sadness and other mixed emotions were visible. you in the other hand simply smiled vaguely, not knowing what to express exactly. then he let go of his belongings and hugged you tight, as if it's your first and.. last.

between the embrace; his mouth leaned in, closing the gap to your ear. shivers could be felt all over your system.

"trust the magic of new beginnings," hyunjun whispered softly.

and just like that, he let go of the embrace and turned his back—never coming back, but at least the universe knows he'll be doing fine.

[nonatanahlada]

christmas eve | tbz bermuda line

it's christmas eve and the town center just couldn't be any busier. people flooded the sidewalk trying to find warmth in occasional delicacies. the classic red and green decoration fashioned with yellow lighting buzzing up the atmosphere. then there are two particular human beings, sitting in front of each other inside an ordinary cafe, yet with somewhat miserable tension going on.

well, they're lee jaehyun who mostly goes with the nickname 'hyunjae' as there are too many jaehyun's in his field of work as lawyer and lee juyeon who is a known architect also hyunjae's romantical partner since high school senior year. they've been enjoying each other company for about ten years though it seems that things aren't really working between the two recently.

hyunjae sighed, sipped only a little—almost nothing actually, of whatever his significant other ordered for him before he even arrived. yes, juyeon was the one who asked hyunjae to come to this cafe when the world knew how much of workload the older has even during holiday season.

"so, what do you want to talk about?"

juyeon—still with somewhat blank and unreadable expression on, tried to open his mouth but closed it again after a moment.

"juyeon, if you only want us to hang out drinking coffee without anyone starting the conversation-"

"let's break up."

and it seems like the time has stopped and the world has crumbled for the one and only lee jaehyun or as jacob bae said—hyunjae's best friend since law school years, 'God's favorite' for his ethereal looks and enviable intelligence.

back to present.

break up? break up as in ending the romantic relationship between juyeon and himself? hyunjae thought, puzzled.

"hey?" juyeon asked, a bit concerned.

"break up as in ending our relationship?" surprisingly, hyunjae still had the strength to respond properly.

"yeah, it seems like we simply don't work anymore. you're busy with your work and so am i—though actually we still could spare some time to be together yet we just chose not to. it's like we've came into conclusion that we stopped caring and eventually loving each other, or at least that's mine."

hyunjae listened to juyeon's reasoning while taking another sip of his cup, trying to process it nicely. well, it is indeed right that they've been so occupied by their careers this whole year in particular. and even if they meet, none would initiate to communicate like they used to.

"is there nothing left to be done? i mean, do you really think that we can't fix it? we've spent.. a decade together and you're sure that we simply don't work anymore?" hyunjae asked, unnoticeably trembling under.

juyeon firmly stated, "there's nothing left to be done, hyunjae. i'm sure about it."

hyunjae stared blankly at the.. dull ceilings of the cafe? didn't know, didn't matter—he only wanted to avoid juyeon's deep and rather sharp stare right now, especially in this kind of situation.

relationship is made of two or more, if one of them decided to end it reasonably then there is nothing to be done. it's the end, isn't it? your first long lasting romantic relationship ended here, hyunjae.

after a moment, hyunjae finally responded, "okay, let's break up then. i'm glad for all the time we've spent, sincerely thank you for the last ten years. live well, juyeon."

"back at you, jaehyun." the younger managed to slip a bitter smile on his lips and left the older in the cafe just like that.

and this is how lee jaehyun or the so called 'God's favorite' got dumped on the very christmas eve this year.

.

after almost an hour of further processing the whole situation that just happened, hyunjae decided to drive himself home despite having an unstoppable train of thoughts. hell, he did know that tonight is going to happen anyways—but on christmas eve? well, it's way earlier than he expected to be. he ended up enrouting to nearby parking lot in the middle of his way to reach a particular someone through the phone.

"hoon, are you free tonight?"

kim younghoon—the rising musical actor who is also a very close childhood friend of hyunjae.

"did juyeon dump you or-" younghoon in the other line replied, in jokingly manner surely.

"yes, he did."

"..."

"hoon? it's okay if you're busy-"

"your place then it is, i'll bring the finest wine. should i bring your favorite box of chicken? oh, we could call over jacob too."

"thanks, but let's just sink tonight in together—just the both of us."

younghoon let out his melodiously beautiful chuckles.

"you're driving home by yourself right? be careful then, see you soon.."

"chéri."

chéri—younghoon's endearing pet name for hyunjae before the later began dating juyeon ages ago. unknowingly, a small smile crept up to hyunjae's face after hearing that.

"been a while since the last time you called me that."

"now that you're single so.."

.

and the night sinks in, it's christmas eve after all.