lost1in2hope3 - Tumblr blog

[lost1in2hope3]

I sleep with you in one room,

IN ONE BED.

You said, you've changed.

But I'm still the same.

Scared.

[lost1in2hope3]

Im looking for something valid, to make you believe me.

But all you do is saying, I'm a liar. That makes me crazy.

[lost1in2hope3]

No one listens when I try to speak up.

I feel like my whole heart is breaking apart.

[lost1in2hope3]

I was just 13.

and I stayed 13, all these years.

[lost1in2hope3]

Im stuck in this stupid bed

In so many places. Too many.

[lost1in2hope3]

I wish I could just destroy my brain, and find healthy pieces.

[lost1in2hope3]

I'm being quiet as much as I can.

So much, that I think there is no other plan.

[lost1in2hope3]

Sometimes even though, you think like this you need to think that you survived it. You're strong enough to be here with us, or even write this post. I'm proud of you, you're not only your body, remember there is your soul, mind and personality! I'm proud of you! ❤️

I am nothing more than a body he used

[lost1in2hope3]

Everything without you seems so different.

My body, almost feels mine.

[lost1in2hope3]

I'm having problems with my eyes. I look in the mirror and see dirty handprints. I need to buy glasses, or someone really needs to start cleaning these mirrors. That's 4 one this week.

[lost1in2hope3]

Exactly.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but:

It’s not your fault. Don’t think that there was anything you could have done different- awful things happened, and it doesn’t make you any less of a human being. Whatever happened was terrible, and while it’s natural to feel a sort of guilt, just remember that it’s not your fault.

[lost1in2hope3]

No one could protect me from you.

Because no one ever thought you would be the danger.

[lost1in2hope3]

I could choke in my hospital bed, but still you'd be the one who took my last breath.

[lost1in2hope3]

The funniest thing is, they weren't surprised when I told them, what he did to me.

During all those years, they already knew.

Just decided to let me handle it.

[lost1in2hope3]

You forced me, to hug you that night.

Like you were the one that needed comfort.

[lost1in2hope3]

I wish I could still feel love without fear when your hands are on my body.

[lost1in2hope3]

Everyone covers their ears when they don't want to hear about SA, they have a choice, but we didn't have one when our mouths were covered.