lamusedhermes

[lamusedhermes]

Stay safe ladies!!!

New hard rule any woman should enforce ever is if you’re dating a guy and he says he watches red pilled alpha male podcaster content or shows support of it in ANY way (ie something covert like “I don’t like his personality but he makes some good points” ) you go GHOST. I know women are taught to “accommodate ppl’s flaws” but literally this is a misogynistic cult right in the public eye and it’s all fun and games until a woman gets murdered for existing (which has literally happened as a result of Tate’s content)

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Action produces information. When you don’t know what to do, do anything. Clarity comes from movement. Every action gives you feedback. You can’t think your way into a perfect path, but you can act your way into clarity. So instead of asking yourself if it’s the wrong step, ask yourself what you can learn from it

You want to know how people tell you to start and opportunities will find you? Movement boosts blood flow and oxygen to the brain which increases energy and mental clarity. It releases dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine to improve mood, focus and motivation, while lowering cortisol to reduce mental clutter. Even light activity, like walking, enhances memory, sparks new ideas, and breaks overthinking loops, giving your brain the chemistry it needs to think more clearly

That shift changes your energy, mood, and how you carry yourself, which directly influences how people and opportunities respond to you. Clearer thinking helps you make better decisions, notice possibilities you might have overlooked & take actions you wouldn’t have taken if you were stuck in mental fog

When your brain is firing optimally and your nervous system is calmer, you naturally project more confidence and openness which are qualities that tend to attract people, ideas and situations aligned with where you want to go. In other words, movement changes your inner world first and your outer world adjusts to match it

Do anything :)

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In moments of crises: first calm down your nervous system with somatic work until you feel a real release. Then take inspired action towards solving the situation you are in.

Do not take action in the middle of spiralling, do it when you can think clearly and your body isn't stuck in fight or flight mode. An object in motion stays in motion. Take care of your body and mind, then keep moving. Do not allow depression or anxiety to take root. You got this.

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Your inner child has never left your side, and is your biggest supporter. It is your duty to protect her and listen to her.

Forgive your past self, for she is not less deserving of love than you. She did not know better and she was still learning.

I wish every woman knew how resilient and graceful she is, and how much compassion and kindness she brings, deserves and receives.

Edit: a big hug to everyone who reads this🤍

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Never leave yourself for later, you are your greatest investment. Invest in your appearance, education, health, hobbies, & goals. It pays off! ✨

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I miiiight prepare a series regarding my “Curate everything” viral (?) post, targeting each step in depth. It would include the meaning of curating, for me, and my (and hopefully yours, one day) rituals.

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Something you believe in?

Too many women try too hard to make connections last, even when they were made in times of desperation. You have to be willing to let go and accept that some things aren’t meant to work out if you want to open the doors to the things that will work. There is a path in life that is meant for you, and that path is paved with softness; you do not need to allow harsh people to walk it with you.

 

Instead of focusing on all the people that don’t click and naturally enhance your life, focus on the people that do click with you and make your life better. You don’t want to surround yourself with people who you have forced to stay in your life. If someone doesn’t want to see you succeeding or is jealous of you, set them free and let them be miserable elsewhere.

 

One of the most important things I learned on my path to hypergamy is that not everyone is okay with a girl like me succeeding, and that’s okay. I’ve lost a number of friends who didn’t want me to go to school; I’ve stopped talking to male family members who were upset that I didn’t know my place; and I parted ways with girls I met who didn’t like that I found people who were kind to me and lifted me up instead of putting me down.

 

I don’t have room in my life for negativity, and so I’ve banished it to make way for softness. Every woman following me, every black woman, every woman who’s never grown up with a family and never had much deserves to feel kindness. I think it’s amazing to find people who click into your life and make you feel like you belong, but those people have to be the right people. Part of living a soft life is allowing yourself that privilege.

 

If you are on this journey, you have to understand that not everyone will be happy to see you flourishing, and not everyone is worthy of having your presence in their life. You become a different person when you know your worth and know that what you have can never be taken from you. Spend your time building positive relationships with people who love you, bring joy into your life, want to see you experience the best parts of life, uplift you, and are willing to embrace the journey of life alongside you.

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To be a beautiful, rich and highly educated woman who host intimate dinner parties with friends and family , who regularly gets spa treatments , buss down yaki straight hair who loves reading and learning Spanish . Loves jazz . Appreciates art. And spends her day in the French rivera and playing tennis and dress up.

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Sunday’s Watch ✨

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A man of God? Absolutely.

Not a man who claims to be a Christian and doesn't do the work but a man who prays and speaks to God everyday- who prays and WORKS to be more like Christ. Who reads the word and actively pursues a stronger relationship with God, reads what a man of God looks like and reflects that to the best of his abilities. Who prays over his family, friends, co-workers, strangers, himself, and his wife (or future wife).

A man who leads, who knows that his soulmate is not above him nor is he above her but a part of her- his missing rib, under his heart and arm to be guided, love, and held closely to his heart.

Who is not quick to anger and to judge, a man who is gentle, is not lustful, and s faithful, humble, hard-working, a provider.

A man of God.

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Stay busy, stay focused, stay humble, stay unreachable.

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On this day in 1944, Leila Khaled, Palestinian revolutionary, was born in Haifa.

If you have time today, you should read her autobiography from 1973: My People Shall Live. Here’s a free PDF.

Via @ayaghanameh

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By the way, you can improve your executive function. You can literally build it like a muscle.

Yes, even if you're neurodivergent. I don't have ADHD, but it is allegedly a thing with ADHD as well. And I am autistic, and after a bunch of nerve damage (severe enough that I was basically housebound for 6 months), I had to completely rebuild my ability to get my brain to Do Things from what felt like nearly scratch.

This is specifically from ADDitude magazine, so written specifically for ADHD (and while focused in large part on kids, also definitely includes adults and adult activities):

Here's a link on this for autism (though as an editor wow did that title need an editor lol):

Resources on this aren't great because they're mainly aimed at neurotypical therapists or parents of neurdivergent children. There's worksheets you can do that help a lot too or thought work you can do to sort of build the neuro-infrastructure for tasks.

But a lot of the stuff is just like. fun. Pulling from both the first article and my own experience:

Play games or video games where you have to make a lot of decisions. Literally go make a ton of picrews or do online dress-up dolls if you like. It helped me.

Art, especially forms of art that require patience, planning ahead, or in contrast improvisation

Listening to longform storytelling without visuals, e.g. just listening regularly to audiobooks or narrative podcasts, etc.

Meditation

Martial arts

Sports in general

Board games like chess or Catan (I actually found a big list of what board games are good for building what executive functioning skills here)

Woodworking

Cooking

If you're bad at time management play games or video games with a bunch of timers

Things can be easier. You might always have a disability around this (I certainly always will), but it can be easier. You do not have to be this stuck forever.

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4 WEBSITES TO HELP YOU IMPROVE YOUR SOCIAL SKILLS

1. ImproveYourSocialSkills.com- A comprehensive guide to social skills.

2. SociableIntrovert.com- Use your introverted and extroverted traits together.

3. SocialProNow.com - Find out exactly how to get the friends you want.

4. PeopleSkillsDecoded.com - Develop your conversation style around your natural strengths.

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How to be Mentally Strong

1. Don’t look to the world to give you an identity.

2. Don’t look to your family and friends for approval.

3. Set your own goals and believe in yourself.

4. Expect things to take time.

5. Expect to meet with setbacks.

6. Expect people to put you down, and for some to walk away.

7. Don’t be swayed by pressure from others.

8. Don’t resent others’ gifts and successes.

9. Accept that some things cannot be controlled.

10. Believe that you will make it one day.