kat-schaw

[kat-schaw]

January 13, 1835

The great value of Biography consists in the perfect sympathy that exists between like minds. Space and time are an absolute nullity to this principle. An action of Luther's that I heartily approve o do adopt also. . . . Socrates, St. Paul, Antoninus, Luther, Milton have lived for us as much as for their contemporaries, if by hooks or by tradition their life and words come to my ear. . . . It is a beautiful fact in human nature that the roar of separating oceans, no, nor the roar of rising and falling empires, cannot hinder the ear from hearing the music of the most distant voices; that the trumpet of Homer's poetry yet thrills in the closet of the retired scholar across three thousand years; that the reproof of Socrates stings us like the bite of a serpent, as it did Alcibiades. These affinities atone to us for the narrowness of our society, and the prison of our single lot, by making the human race our society, and and the vast variety of human fortune the arena of action son which we, by passing judgment, take part. . . .

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

[kat-schaw]

I can't hold onto a "Maybe"

Come here & kiss me I want to taste your lips again (the flavor of your skin) Just before I leave I so I can remember more clearly Take it with me Speak honestly If you want my heart to let go Of you Tell me If not What am I supposed to do? Do you want me to assume? To hold on to hope Hold my breath Hold my heart caged inside my chest While you You continue to breathe To move To love To be complete Is this what you want? What you want me to be? Open Broken Hands held open (only to you) Waiting? I would wait If you asked me to My love, you have my heart Please don't assume Do you wish to torture me? Your not knowing With wondering Is just increasing the aching Why should both of our hearts ache? Or allow one to be brittle & torn While the other is complete & whole? Do you love me? If so, please Say something I can't just wait on a "Maybe" I need something to hold on to Something to believe in More than just my daydreams fro us Do you want us to have a future? Am I waiting for you Or just a desire I should let go of? Are you unsure about us? Please say "yes", or "no" Then at least I will know Do you want me to let go? Tell me Tell me to let go Or to hold on & wait Because I can't hold onto a "Maybe"

- Kat Schaw

[kat-schaw]

Late Spring/Early Summer

A Clouds Kiss / Mist

A watery shroud covers the land & I am - In awe

I yearn to run in it! To dive into the air & be carried by the many Brilliant droplets

Suspended

This preoccupation Draws the imagination A cloud come down to touch Her Earth with a Blissful kiss

Oh Mist settled down Over languid waters Hungry trees & the thirsty land

Today All may understand This kind Watery hand

____ Kat Schaw

[kat-schaw]

Something stirring my soul When I feel alone A calm of some-kind I find It is so good To be alone My own If only for a day

Peace reigning supreme Others cannot for me & I Am complete, wholly my own If only for an hour or so

I meet people Just as I need my peace I give, & they take from me (Beyond what I could possibly have) & yet, to be on my own, - To be completely my own Is such a good thing

Leave me to be me in peace

____ Kat Schaw

[kat-schaw]

What’s On The Porch?

There is a canvas before me No,  Two Four? Eight? Twenty!

Artists abound! Creativity overflowing! Magnificent colors captured (Just lonely) Contained!

The vistas! Magnificent frames portrayed With a sincere warmth To save a beautiful sight in a frame Different hues by night Or Day

Yet, all those collected creations They do not pay Too magnificent to allow Money back their way

____ Kat Schaw

[kat-schaw]

Ear-Phones

I am listening to his voice For the moment (just this moment)

He is entirely mine O'The tones Whispering into my ear The well known secrets I here Dreams of kisses Replacing wishes Daydreams intercepted by reality's prick upon the base of your spine

Irresistible

Agile Indefinably every-bodies

& yet, mine This voice is only mine

____ Kat Schaw

[kat-schaw]

I went there once

I stood on the scorched ground

I spun, & danced for the freedom

So-many have  wished they found

I drank that mythical water

I bathed my aching skin

I sunk into the glistening mud

My body was dried by the passionate kisses of the Sun

O,The fruit there -

The food,

The wine of grapes picked freshly off the vine

My tears fell

Into the spell

Filling the vat

& I sat sat with the Gods

As they drank my tears

& I, so briefly,

Thankfully forgot the years

I wish I could have died there

____ Kat Schaw

[kat-schaw]

Brain:

You’re weird & ugly

I’m fat & lonely

There’s a birthday party I’m supposed to go to, but I would rather be lonely here with you

Did you know that today is the middle of the week

& that it is ok if you don’t have the words to speak from the heart?

Art is just a made-up fairy-tail they tell children to help them sleep at night,

Because the world knows that they can never actually reach the height of their dreams in this reality.

My Mother once told me that it is ok to be sad,

I’m glad that she dose not know how much sadness I have felt recently.

It’s like the past, & the future of eternity are bound up in my tomorrow

While I don’t know what to do with today.

Forgive me for chewing your ear off,

I felt like I could because You’re weird & ugly

While I’m fat & lonely

If only tomorrow would already get here.

_____ Kat Schaw

[kat-schaw]

Read, write, buy, give,ship to my new home (in one piece), bookshelves instead of boxes, at least one wall covers in books.

Extra super bonus: working in a book store full time.

What are your book goals for 2018?

[kat-schaw]

Heartbreak...

Dogs take the pain & turn it into a Kiss

Cuddling a wiggling bunch of fur, pure & uncontrolled adoration

Like a brothers love Yet ~ more through

Boundless energy & potential bound within the skin & sinews of kindness

Dogs are the only great magic humans have not yet forgotten

Not yet...

____ Kat Schaw

[kat-schaw]

I feel sick But the "Sad deep down in my soul" Kind of sick The kind of sick You can't cure _____ Kat Schaw

[kat-schaw]

‪I am‬ ‪A strong independent woman who don't need no man‬ ‪But I want one ‬ ‪I want to feel a man kiss my lips‬ ‪Worship my heart, covet my love, respect my brain, & be protective of my freedoms‬ ‪I don't need no man to be safe, ok, normal, or beautiful‬ ‪I just want one‬ ‪I want a man in my life right now, & honestly that's my right- to want what I want & just go with it‬ ‪It may not work out the way I want, he may not be with me forever, as long as we can be something real with each other that's enough of something to be something beautiful‬ ____ Kat Schaw

[kat-schaw]

My Guy

My Guy

There’s somethings about him Something in his eyes Some kind of fire- a fire everyone want’s to touch & Play with

Drawn in as moths to the flame & Just as the flames hold no control over who comes near Who gets singed, Or who’s gently warmed, He is the same way

So many moths have been burned While I am simply sitting here, being lovingly warmed

I say that he is mine, No one can own flame I say he is mine because he will not burn me Not as the others who were attracted to the heat I can see I can see deeper- the hidden spark which started it all The gentle kindling, & the fuels that keep him going

They say I love him for the protection he gives me Or the heat The light in midst of darkness No, I love him for all of the things they cannot see Through the brightness & The glowing glare

I am no moth Flinging myself close to him, then recoiling when encountered by heat I am a phoenix

His flame speaks of home to me A home I had forgotten A place I thought could no longer exist

I was wrong I am so thankful that I was wrong

The flame in his eyes- the same flame that draws the moths in I know that flame, it is the same as the one that burns within me We just each hide, & reveal differently

____ Kat Schaw

[kat-schaw]

A Foreign Kiss

We finally kiss The taste of him permeating my senses

O’The lingering desire Such dreams, & hopes Dying as soon as they begin to burn

He must leave Soon & I - what can i do? Neither one has said “I love you” Nor will we It cannot be said Our hopes remain hid

Yet, the kiss His kiss We Kiss

Hands in hair Hungry lips Hearts aching Love Pain Bliss

____ Kat Schaw

[kat-schaw]

I want to tell you, “I love you” I want What I feel to be real & not just a desire

You are so unique I have never known such Unbridled, pure, unadulterated, & honest passion in anyone before

Running before thinking Worrying only after acting

Can you blame my heart for loving you In the Same way? I try to hold my heart back I swear I do But it runs faster Than any of my thoughts Faster than my will

It’s too soon to say it Yet I can‘t help but feel it

Forgive me Forgive my heart for being so Passionate I can’t help it My heart can’t stop it

I love you

____ Kat Schaw

[kat-schaw]

So-many people & such little heart

A stark reminder To end, we must forgive again

What if There is no strength left?

Unending beginning is exhausting Like dancing to a song With no ending Despite breaks & rent muscles & torn tendons

A horrible torture

____ Kat Schaw

[kat-schaw]

I hear his poetry [words floating before my eyes Directly into my soul]

Yet, unknown to him Is the notion which his actions- [God!] & his words cause within me ~

Love is a complicated Tangled string I am in the center Sinning

It is not yet love Simply my surrender

____ Kat Schaw