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Waking Up

The moments between being asleep and being awake.

Not aware of your surroundings but feeling the notion you should start paying attention.

That's how I am feeling now. Like if the past 2 years has been a nightmare of a dream. There have been some amazing times that have taken place but I'm sad to say there were also terrible times.

From barely surviving to feeling threatened and isolated. Those are so really tough circumstances that not many can bounce back from. As we are here in Juarez hoping for Jaime to finally get his green card, I can't help but think back. Words cannot seem to fathom my emotion. I don't think I even really have one, come to think of it. Just waiting to see, no expectation of anything ahead. Just doing what I have to in hopes that things will turn out for the best.

Here are the highlights that are running through my head from the past 2 years in Trinidad:

*living with my aunt and uncle who gave us shelter and food to eat. (anything else was out of the question)

*moving into my brother's home and finding a job 

*visits from my dad, mom, sister niece and dear friend

*meeting our new mother, Allison (nicest person ever)

*Jaime being held hostage in my half brother's friend's store

*my half brother being "annoyed" that jaime was held hostage in his friend's store

*working a lot

*eating delicious food

*spending time with Allison and learning that not everyone is terrible

*playing J'ouvert the day before carnival and having a blast

*not speaking with aunt, uncle, half brother and wife any more

Seems like everyone who "helped" us except for Allison appeared to be only looking out for themselves. So now, I have gained life experience in being cautious. I hate that everyone I meet can no longer be trusted. 

I have been left scarred and damaged in a way that there is no turning into the innocent kind thoughtful person I once was. And for that, I am fuming mad. Those people took away the joy I once had for humanity.

So here I am, in between the nightmare and waking up, waiting to see if what has happened in the past two years was worth the wait. 

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It's a #stripes and #pearls kind of day #whbm #vintage #tuesday #lotd

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#prettylittlethings #smashbox #electricpink #sacha #cozycoral #teal #ring #beauty #accessories #happiness #color

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Intervention

Dear Abby My aunt has been in a mentally abusive relationship for the past 37 years. What can our family do to see her happy again?

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follow for follow

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Only time will tell...

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28 Day Challenge

Starting Monday, I'm detoxing. I have had WAYYYYYY too much food and here, people get offended if you don't as if every meal was your last lol

Happy New Year, the last thing that has to go is this DISGUSTING gut that formed in 2013.

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Realistic New Year’s Resolutions by Joanna Borns Previously: 10 Little Known Facts

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it's that kind of day

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#amazing what make up can do for a person #nars #funnyface #smashbox eyes and #covergirl mineral #bronzer hope today is as amazing as yesterday!

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Just listen to this man..

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Never sway away from being Focused when you have your eye on the prize! #CRZYbuz™ #MyGOAL #BringForthBlessingsInAbundance #FamilyWanting4Nothing #TheAmericanDream #TurnDreams2Reality What you in it for?? #Buzlife (at CRZYbuzGlobal)

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livin the dream

i just realized that i will not be paying any taxes this year HAHA!! for whatever reason, this makes me feel so liberated. it's like "oh yeah government? you screw with me well guess what? i'm poor so you can't take my hard earned money and give to the poor... because i AM poor. oh but wait... why am i not getting any of the other people's hard earned money ???

because ???? oh because. that's why.

thanks for nothing douche bags! you make the world special. Without you, people would be happy and life would be boring, i'm sure. thank you for that. really, thanks.

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ughhhh

i think everything should have a home. why does this google chrome let me search and type in URLs all on the same line?

i hate it. i do not like it. i have no choice but to every single day for the rest of my life until they decide it's not working get to use this "intelligent" feature.

thanks for nothing.

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In the middle of Huntington, West Virginia, there is a river. Next to this river, there is a steel mill. And next to the steel mill, there is a school. In the middle of this school, there is a fountain. Each year, on the exact same day, at the exact same hour... the water to this fountain is turned off. And in this moment, once every year... throughout the town, throughout the school... time stands still.

We are Marshall